#im genuinely mortified

[coldflasher]

not me thinking i'd finally started to find a good work/life balance where i could actually like. write and enjoy working on things that are fun and fulfilling while also keeping my head above water at work (aside from, y'know, minor details like the semi-frequent repetitive strain injuries and eye strain and also the fact my house is an absolute disaster 70% of the time) and then being violently humbled in my quarterly review by getting the worst quality score i've ever had in my 3 years working for the company...

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

[possamble]

whats your take on marcille and pattadols post canon friendship? they seem to hang out occasionally in a couple of post canon shorts and i was wondering if your beautiful mind has anything more to add? youre amazing 💖

☺️ aha thank you so much!!! Pattadol and Marcille are sooo interesting to me because like. I think Pattadol is who Marcille would have become if her parents had both been long-lived, and she never had a reason to question elven authority. The hardworking attitude, insistence on sticking to a very rigid set of principles, a little bit of vanity in wanting to be recognized for her efforts... the slightly ridiculous uptightness and neurotic attitude at times, though at heart they're both kind people who want the best for everyone in their own ways.

In the post-canon, I'm assuming that Pattadol has her own ambassador's quarters in either the castle or the inner city, and the two of them grab tea at the castle drawing room/garden/whatever. I think they talk shop, soundboard ideas off each other, and gossip/complain a little about incompetent colleagues/problems... I think they're each others' dream work friends, honestly. Polite, competent, friendly but never getting overly personal, fun and pleasant to talk to. The fact that Pattadol's 82 and a fairly young woman by elven standards also plays into it, I think -- Marcille hasn't had another elf friend along the same maturity range and professional level of experience, so this is probably nice for her!

What I would like to see is them eventually developing a closer relationship. I think a lot about the way Pattadol reassured Marcille that, because of her accomplishments, she'd have a pretty comfortable sentence as a Canary. About the way, while there was tension because of what was happening at the time, they were both immediately very polite to each other upon meeting and kind of?? got along/clicked immediately in some ways?? It feels like they have the same kind of standards for themselves and others (as well as general inexperience and slight insecurity about their own competency, which probably makes them feel at more or less an equal level with each other).

And I think that'd be good for both of them -- having someone else that they admire, who also admires them in return and recognizes their talents and hard work. There's a very unique kind of rapport you build with someone that you hold as an intellectual peer and can trust to give you feedback that's actually reliable and up to par. While they might both be too professional to really become super close friends who can always be open with each other, there's a very real and deep kind of companionship that forms from this kind of trust, and I hope that's the direction they're heading in.

It's also extra delicious if you add in the tension of Pattadol inherently being a foreign agent from a country that isn't necessarily friendly, but they end up with that strange trust anyway... not to mention the thought that she might find herself actually admiring how Melini is growing and trying to defend it when reporting back to the queen.

[verved]

Ah fuck ive done it again.

[orcelito]

Yet again hindered by the "this reply is hidden because you have the user blocked" message. It has me Almost wondering whether I'd be better off not blocking so many people. So that I can freely be a nosy bitch.

Almost, but not quite. My block list is for my sanity, after all.

[chialattea]

hung out w people and my joking around came across as genuine. haha no, pull the lever. getting fried will be less mortifying

[menlove]

i can just feel myself starting to give less of a fuck as i reach 25 and you know what thank god

[crosswordgf]

i just realized before going to bed just now that i accidentally seemed to make up the most absurd insane lie on my resume earlier today when i thought fuck it i’ll just put on everything ive ever done here. in high school my class did this thing where we organized a political debate between real politicians and we also organized the school EU election and so they called us like junior ambassadors for the EU and we got tshirts and a diploma and everything. but i misremembered it as being a UN thing and i also was distracted by my friend talking to me at the same time so i entirely forgot the title and just wrote what amounted to ”2019 - UN ambassador”, which i would imagine would make me overqualified for the cashier and cleaning jobs i then applied to 😭

[dreamdripdistance]

i swear to god i really just. i really just wanna tell some people to shut the FUCK UPPPPPPPPP

[monstrous-woof]

okay so i heard about a field school a while back that I really want to go to but it needs letters of recommendation and thats always like the biggest hurdle for me but i just heard back from the one professor i wanted to hear from the most and got an okay on them writing a letter which has very suddenly made the possibility of going to a field school in Ireland much more real thats fucking insane

[forgotten-daydreamer]

"have you eaten?" "yes" i said, like a liar

[non-un-topo]

My power cut off for about a minute at exactly 3am I think ghosts are responsible for this

[cinnamon-grump]

Idk what is WRONG with me but some days I really just. It’s like.. my brain is just…. Glitching?

Like i KNOW i shouldn’t put that plate in the microwave for several minutes to steam potatoes…. But I have a “well I’ve put it in for shorter times and nothing bad happens so this will be okay i guess” and then i. Do the thing. The thing I just told myself I shouldn’t.

And I know I shouldn’t put this sweater in the dryer because it will matt and shrink— but the smell of it triggered me back to being in my mom’s old car.. one in which me n my siblings were technically kidnapped by our babysitter. My desperation to get riiiiid of that smell made me fucking STUPID and now the sweater is tiny and probably destroyed and I feel like the biggest asshole alive… cause I just couldnmt stand a fucking smell!! I ruined a fuckijg handmade gift that was worked on for mONTHS all be cause. Of a stink.

[isa-ah]

when uve laid in bed waiting to fall asleep so long u realize ur twenty minutes into an imaginary diatribe to apologize to an old coworker thru ur steam friends list that u haven't spoken to in 8 years over a single vaguely faux paus interaction you had that youve never forgotten

[milkymooshi]

JUST SAW AN OLD MUTUAL ON DISCORD THAT J THIUGHT IT BLOCKED AND IT MADE ME THINK OF THE TIMES THEY CALLED ME A RACIAL SLUR AND I WAS OK WITH JT FOR SOME REASON. LIKE WHY DID I DO THAT 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[whumpshaped]

Obvs you don't gotta do anything with this but thinking abt Seth lashing out, possibly toward Pumpkin after getting embarrassed out in polite society and taking it out on his stress toy, a break in his otherwise calm and collected torture sessions

see i would love to do this and project all my dumbest issues on seth but it causes a much too intense emotional reaction so i cant-

but heres some unorganised thoughts

tw beating, unpredictable whumper lashing out

the thing is, seth wants to be the centre of attention. very naturally at that. he doesnt want to scramble for it and seem desperate

but with that role comes the horrid reality. people Will be looking at you. and some of them wont like what they see

or just in general theyll have a sense of humour you feel insulted and embarrassed by. but of course you laugh because youre Cool and only insecure people cant laugh at themselves

so seth keeps it together each time, even though hes itching to just punch the offender in the face. he pushes down all the other memories of real or percieved embarrassment that this event has brought up

and then when they get home, all hell breaks fucking loose.

pumpkin gets used as a punching bag. seth finally doesnt have to keep up any sort of image (or so they think) and they can just go ham

but then when hes calmer, suddenly he realises he broke character, he wasnt the perfect smug composed whumper of his self indulgent fantasies. so he bashes pumpkin's head against the basement wall and tells them to fucking forget about this

the fact that they care what pumpkin thinks just makes them even more pissed. pumpkin is so far beneath them, they shouldnt care, they dont care, theyre not insecure, and even if they were, they wouldnt be looking for pumpkin's validation

eventually he just leaves the basement and slams the door shut and the next day he acts like nothing happened