#im from the south damnit how do I NOT know how to write for him

[citruslullabies]

I'm still not used to writing for Cooper, so any constructive criticism is welcome!!

Trigger warnings: none

Romantic/platonic?: romantic

Requested by: no one!! Just a fun lil thing

Category: heavy fluff

Ship (romantic or platonic): prewar!Cooper Howard x reader

Word count: 1000

He's a Doll

The apartment had been so quiet, so calm and peaceful. It was almost suspicious just how calm it had been.

It was a nice saturday evening and you were home alone while your spouse was out doing odd jobs, sipping on a cup of tea while reading an article about the war. It was always a topic your partner avoided but you found it interesting, always keeping up to date on the new information coming out.

Cooper Howard, while at one point a well known and beloved actor, had fallen back into the bottom after his divorce with Barbara. A woman you had never met - nor cared to. You honestly were about to give up on the dating game since you were getting older, and age certainly wasn't kind to anyone. You were a 36 year old woman who already had bad back problems and creaky knees, who would want that??

But he did. You both had met when out grocery shopping, with you trying to reach something on the second to highest shelf and trying to regrettably monkey climb and remembering your age in the process.. when all the sudden hearing a chuckle from behind you. And there he was, a very exhausted looking Cooper Howard chuckling at your dispense before helping you out.

The both of you had met when his divorce was still being finalized and custody as well, it seemed like everything was going south for Coop until he fortunately went down the right aisle at the right time. He couldn't even remember how it happened, meeting and then talking and it somehow took off from there. You'd be lying if you said you understood how it happened either.

The radio was playing in the background of the calm little apartment, legs tucked into your side as the hot cup pressed against your lips and a soothing sweet liquid spilled down your throat. With a smile, you continued to read while humming along to the radio station.

“Everyone tells me he's no good

He doesn't love me like he should

I would forget him if I only could

He's a demon, he's a devil, he's a doll”

The lyrics rung out of the little box, causing you to hum along to the beat and drift off into your own little world inside of your head. The song oddly enough reminded you of Cooper, well, besides the whole cheating aspect.. the lyrics were so sweet and reminded you of the sweet devil you fell in love with.

“That man can look me in the eye

And tell the biggest, sweetest lie

And I forget the lipstick on his tie

He's a demon, he's a devil, he's a doll

Sometimes I make up my mind

That I'll stop being so blind

And tell him off real bad

But then he turns on those charms, and there I am in his arms

And I forget why I'm mad”

A soft sigh escaped your lips as you continued to listen, while the song wasn't necessarily about a good relationship it reminded you of yours in a good way. You and Cooper have fought, but he always somehow manages to calm you down before you blow your top off.

The door opened and Cooper was greeted with the sound of music and your humming, which was a pleasant surprise. He closed the door behind him and put his keys up, looking at you in the living room completely off into your own world.. a devious idea sparks in his head.

Quietly, he walked up behind the couch and leaned over just enough to be hovering. He stopped and admired you for a few moments.. the way you seemed so relaxed and at peace, despite that god forsaken news report on the nuclear fallout and war being in your hands. He chuckled quietly and then grabbed your shoulders abruptly earning a startled yelp and a quick swat to the arm.

“No need to get your panties in a twist darlin, ‘m sorry.” The southern cowboy said with a laugh as he saw your irritated gaze, his pearly whites on full display as his eyes were crinkled up. Oh you couldn't stay mad at him no matter how hard you tried.

Your gaze softened in almost an instant when seeing how joyous his face appeared, rolling your eyes playfully as you folded up the newspaper and tucked it into your arm. He smiled when he felt a delicate hand on his cheek from the one he adored, chuckling and placing his larger and rougher head atop your smaller and softer hand. Your hands had callouses, but they were like buttermilk compared to his sandpapered skin. He leaned down and captured your lips with his own, hands sliding down to your hip dips and squeezing softly.

With a content hum, he snaked one hand over to that pesky paper you had rolled up and took it away from you while you were distracted. He was glad to see you after a long day of work, your lips tasting like sweet sun tea with a bit too much sugar but he still accepted the flavor on his tongue happily since it was you. You pulled away and smiled at him, before pressing your cheek against the cushion.

“Well, I'll just accept it as a heads-up that you're sleeping on the couch tonight.” You chuckled as he gave you a fake offended look. He nuzzled his nose against yours with a chuckle, before pouting. “Oh sugar cube, you're so cruel to a poor cowboy down on his luck.”

You both stayed like that for a while, just adoring each other with playful jabs.. the music continuing to be sweet as it filled the room and danced around the both of you.

“He's a palooka, he's a brute

He drives me crazy but he's cute

Why do I love a guy I ought to shoot?

He is a demon, he is a devil, he is a doll~”

I'm working on requests!! Thanks for reading

[loremonster]

Things that happened with me in the last decade I didn't fuckin expect

Writing for the Batman fandom -> realize I'm a pansexual disaster who had a repressed crush on their best friend since gradeschool and that's why I was always trying to play matchmaker for him cause I wanted someone to love him the way I would have

Writing for the South Park fandom -> realize I'm nonbinary but didn't have the language to describe it even 5 years ago because my parents were conservative assfucks who tried to Just Not Talk About It even tho MY MOM IS THE MANLIEST MOTHERFUCKER I KNOW like 24 pack of beer let's go cut down a tree and set up a bonfire to cook over with a cast iron skillet, but LITERALLY cannot focus indoors long enough to cook an egg because OH SOMETHING OUTSIDE NEEDS TO BE DONE ( she has caused 2 fires ) and GLEEFULLY recounts whenever she's called Sir instead of maam or miss

Still Writing For The South Park Fandom -> Meet enough other autistic folks that I share life experiences with that I begin to seriously consider I may have been misdiagnosed as a kiddo as ADHD

STILL Writing For The South Park Fandom -> Fully accept I Need Help with my mental and physical health and recommit to the overwhelming process of dealing with the health system, including persuing gender affirming care once I got back to WA

Get overwhelmed when lockdown happens

Stop in the middle of an unfinished holiday special because dear god lockdown was hell and financial difficulty had forced hubby and I to move onto base where the national anthem played EVERY DAY at dawn and dusk ( a ritual known as Colors ) that IT IS EXPECTED FOR CIVILIANS TO STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING, FACE THE NEAREST SPEAKER OR FLAG, AND REMAIN STILL UNTIL ITS OVER, but no one tells you that. Ever. If you're driving, you're expected to pull over with emergency flashers and wait until the anthem is over. Again, you are not TOLD this, and base police will come after you for it and threaten to revoke your base privileges; meaning RENDER YOU HOMELESS if you live on base.

I suddenly got REALLY interested in cults

Learned way too damn much about the Alt Right, as well as the older hate movements they grew from

Started Writing And Drawing In The Fallout Space -> Realize I'm a socialist and Holy Shit All The Things My Parents Told Me About History And Politics Was A Gigantic Crock of Shit They Got Sold In The 50's And Never Fact Checked

Burnt Out In The Fallout Space -> wow I really need to do more yoga if I'm gonna draw that much, stretching is important folks pls take breaks for the love of all that is good and holy

Lost My Routine From Burnout -> hoooooooly shit I'm Autistic how the fuck did I not realize this????????

Still Burnt Out -> but goddamn I DO WANNA DRAW THAT MUCH! I WANNA MAKE COMICS AND ILLUSTRATIONS WITH MY STORIES! I WANNA MOVE MY SHIT TO AO3 AND LEARN HOW THAT SHIT WORKS BECAUSE IM PROUD OF MY WORK AND I WANT TO SHARE IT, DAMNIT

So

That's where I'm at, lol

[theworldwithoutmagic]

Decompression - zutara ff

Just wrote this oneshot thursday so its CONTENT HOT OFF THE PRESS. 

Im fresh off a rewatch of A:TLA and I finished Southern Raiders on wednesday with a Mighty Need to write a missing scene. I was so striken by Zutara feels that I had to bang out this one shot in a single day.

Here is 3000 words of shameless enemies-to-bedsharing-trope. Set in missing scene during Southern Raiders.

I really need feedback as iv never written zutara before and idk if I have their Voices down. concrit welcome as id like to improve before a longfic. PLEASE message or comment. 

i also need blogs to follow..

So here we gooooo

—————————————–

Katara and Zuko stop to rest and talk about what happened that day. They get a little closer than expected. Zuko wonders how he became so lucky.

Zuko looks up from Appa’s saddle at Katara, seemingly just as determined to get back quickly as she was on the way here. She is beautiful, he thinks to himself not the first time, even now leaving the scene of an almost murder. Her wrists were flicking occasionally, bending the water in the clouds around them to give them a modicum of safety from any eyes that might look to the skies. He knows she must be exhausted at this point. He saw see the circles under her eyes hours ago. Appa himself is starting to slow down and he knows this pace can’t last forever.

“Katara, we have been flying for hours and Appa needs to rest.” He didn’t mention Katara herself. He knew without asking that she would not appreciate any comments on her ability to keep going. He hoped she might stop and process some of what happened today instead of going full speed back to their training regimen. His uncle would have said so, at least. The day was a lot more intense than even he expected.

“What we need is to get back to Aang. The comet is approaching and this was a waste of time,” Katara said.

“We won’t make it back to Aang at all if Appa collapses and we land in the middle of a fire nation village. Look at him. His eyes are starting to droop.” It was true, the bison was not at full strength. Katara did not turn around but her shoulders dropped a bit. She wouldn’t want to hurt Appa.

“So, where do you have in mind we stop? This is the middle of the fire nation and you are pretty hard to miss,“ she said.

“We can make camp in one of the many caves in this region. Look how rocky it is down there. I know that is how your gang usually hides from the fire nation. I think I see a decent spot down there right now,” he pointed down to an outcropping of rock high on a hillside, protected on all 4 sides from direct view.

Katara remained silent. “If this is some kind of trick Zuko…”

He tamped down the biting response he wanted to give. “Katara, I would not have come here with you and helped you find a firenation ship and captain just to trap you in a random cave. Appa needs rest, that’s it. So do I. and you,” He said, the last bit under his breath.

“Fine.” She said, after looking him in the eyes and finding some answer she wanted. “But only until sunrise. We don’t have time for this.” She snaps the reigns and directs Appa back around towards the overhang. He is relieved she agreed.

When they land, Zuko inspects the cave. It’s not so much of a cave as it is a large overhanging rock. It’s not deep, but big enough to hide a bison in. Unfortunately, he deduces they won’t be able to have a fire tonight. The smoke and light might attract too much attention. They will have to eat from the dried stores and sleep in the dark. He knows Katara will agree with him about the fire. Katara…

He had no idea she was so strong. He keeps thinking back to the sea raven ship. He is pretty sure she bended a living person. Not supposed to be possible, but he guesses there is much he does not know about water bending.

Even now, her back is ramrod straight and she is standing in front of her bedroll a little lost looking now that they arent moving towards a goal. He promised to help her on this mission but he is the last person who knows how to help her with the aftermath. He isn’t sure what he expected from this trip.. things went very differently than he imagined. She needs to talk her brother or Aang or literally anyone other than him, he thinks. He considers that he might be a monster for even suggesting this murder mission as he leads Appa under the rocky overhang.

With the Bison in the “cave” with them, there is not a ton of room. He puts his bedroll by Katara’s where there is a little space and dry ground and pulls out the last jerky they have. Its stale and he thinks he can start to taste the beginnings of mold on his piece. They were preserved in a hurry and it’s been a little too long since the group resupplied. But its food and it’s all they have. He holds one out to Katara.

“Uh, you should eat something.” He tries, “It has been a long day. We have a lot of flying to do to get back to Aang.” Damnit, but it’s not just about the flying. He doesn’t know how to breech this subject.

“Of course we do, Zuko.” She whips around, “I am fine. I didn’t even want to stop.” She still takes the jerky and rips into it. She finally leans back against the wall of the cave, sitting on her bedroll. He watches her face and almost panics. Her eyes are shining with unshed tears and she is nowhere near sleep tonight. It races through his mind again that she faced her mother’s murderer today and is somehow still standing.

“Ok.” is all he says for a while. He has to say something else. What would uncle say? What would the Avatar say? He doesn’t know. He knows she might need more than he can give. In the end he says nothing and silently berates himself. He knows sleep will be a long time coming for both of them.

It starts to rain. He looks out of the wet, terrible cave into the storm. The rain is beautiful in a way. It runs in shining rivulets down the other pale rocks, the nearly full moon reflecting in the puddles, and he tries to imagine what it would be like to bend water instead of this horrible fire. He starts talking and hopes he’s not ruining things again.

“The rain is nice. I’ve always loved the sound. As a child I never hated the rain as much as the other fire benders in the palace. The rain restored the land. Brought life back to the burn scars in the garden from our training.” Then, as an afterthought, “The turtleducks loved it, too.” He thinks that’s what got her to speak.

“It never rained in the south pole. Always snow. I didn’t see the rain until I left with Aang. Standing in the rain for the first time and feeling the pull of each raindrop at the southern air temple is one of my favorite memories.” Katara said. She is staring into the growing tempest outside now too. “I always hoped I would get to see it. My mother used to tell me about the rain from her travels with dad.”

She is sitting against the wall very close to him. The thought crosses his mind that if he scooted over, he could reach out and touch her. He doesn’t think he should. Instead, he quietly, so quietly hes not sure she can hear it over the rain, asks, “Do you want to tell me about her?” He closes his eyes and waits for the anger.

“I would like that.” She whispers. “My mom was not a bender. Her father and both of her sisters were. She lost them all to the fire nation before I was born.” More pain and suffering at the hands of his people, he thinks to himself. “My mother was still powerful in her own way. I remember she helped our tribe remember how to create houses without water benders. There was a while we thought our tribe could not survive without benders to keep the ice at bay. How would we do anything without benders to make new ice houses? But she figured it out.”

Zuko realized all over again what cruelties the fire nation had forced on her people. Taking away the benders of a tribe completely reliant on it for survival. It was only through sheer force of will they were still here. He lets her continue.

“My mother was the best cook in the village. Sokka thinks my cooking is good, but I learned only a little for her before she die- before she was killed.” Tears leaked from her eyes now and her voice shook. “The worst part is Sokka is right. I barely remember her now.”

“I’m sorry. I know it’s not enough, especially from me. I really hoped that by taking you to her killer I could help you. Help you get closure and a bit of payback. I see now that was a mistake and I’ve made it worse” He chokes out. The whole trip was a mistake. She would never trust him now either, being reminded of all the sins of the fire nation.

“It wasn’t a mistake. Zuko I thought that by coming here I could finally get revenge. Aang was right about that. I was not seeking justice or closure. If my mother’s killer had been that man on the ship, I think I would have killed him.” 

The man she had.. bended. He knew she was not lying right now. “Katara, whatever you did to him, he.. he deserved it.”

“No, he didn’t.” She was still trying to hold back her tears and failing. “I bended his blood Zuko. A technique I swore I would never use. I was just so angry! He had the gall to stand there on the ship meant for raiding my people and claim he didn’t know what I was talking about. Probably just coming from another murderous raid against another town. There was water everywhere, we were on a ship! But I reached inside him and took something that should never be taken. I could do that right now to you, or anyone else.”

Zuko’s eyes widened. Blood bending. He hopes that man never realizes what exactly she did to him. The fire nation would not stop until every waterbender was extinct if they knew that was possible. He is in awe of the woman beside him. “Katara, I think you are amazing.” He blurts out, before he can even explain.

She barks out a half laugh, “What? Zuko you SAW it-” 

“Yes, and that is the first time I have ever seen it. Iv chased you all over the world and seen you fight many times. All those times, you didn’t use that power. Do you know what the fire nation would be doing with that power if they had it? Marching people right into prison camps. Stopping a whole fleet of human hearts before the battle even starts.” He meets her eyes now, “But this blood bending you can do… you didn’t even hurt the man with it. If there is one place its justified to lose yourself, I’d say on your mother’s killer is one. The restraint you show in not using it against every one of your enemies, your enemies who have murdered your family for generations, is more than I have ever had. I would use any weapon at my disposal against Azula or my father if I thought it would give me an edge. You’re nothing but good and even more powerful and amazing than I thought.” He means it. and he hopes she can hear it in his voice.

She only cries more and he thinks he’s made things worse, his eyes close and his heart drops- then he feels her hand on his shoulder. “Is this ok? Zuko, I.. I don’t want to sit alone right now.” She looks exhausted in the weak light of the moon filtering through the storm as she leans into him. He almost forgets to answer.

“Yeah, this is fine, this is.. this is fine.” Zuko doesn’t know what to do. He has never been able to comfort anyone with his touch. He slides his arm around her shoulders because thats what it seems like she wants. She exhales shakily and turns further into him and his heart skips a beat. She is warm in the chilly air and clinging to him like she needs it to breath. She is almost in his lap and he has already never been this close with anyone.

“I’m not as strong as you think Zuko.” she whispers into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry for how angry I’ve been at you. I knew this whole time, ever since the South Pole, there has been good in you too. I just didn’t want to be wrong again, after the crystal caves so I lashed out. I was fighting my instincts to trust you. This journey just proves to me again that I was right from the beginning.” A pause, her tears coming harder. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess right now.”

“Il do whatever you need of me Katara.” He says quietly, instead of what he wants to say. I need this too. You are stronger than I think. Don’t ever leave this spot. He tightens his embrace and she does too.

They listen to the storm outside. Finally, Katara sobs openly against him. He rubs circles on her back and lets her cry. He doesnt press her to talk anymore. He breaths into her hair and can’t pinpoint what he has done to earn this trust, but he will do everything in his power to make sure she is never this upset again. If he has to personally kill every fire bender who has wronged her. Eventually her sobs clear and she relaxes, still not letting go of his shirt. They fall into steady silence, with only the sound of the rain outside, and he can only think of how wonderful it feels to be a comfort to another person instead of a source of pain. 

It gets steadily chillier in the cave and he eventually releases her to reach for her blankets and pull them over her shoulders. He’s not going to push her off anytime soon, he will let himself freeze to death and not sleep a wink if she needs it. When he brings his arms back around, Katara still doesn’t speak and pulls them down from their sitting position leaning against the wall. His heart is about to beat out of his chest and he knows she can probably feel it. She pulled them so he’s lying down on his bedroll and placed her head on his chest like she means to sleep this way.

Zuko is absolutely frozen. One of her knees is resting on his thigh, her arms are around his torso, and she is so soft. He wants to curl around her. He wants to express something unnamed.

“Zuko, you home?” He can hear the smile in her voice. At least she is feeling better, his racing mind supplies. “I hope this is ok too. Please.”

He stiltedly brings his arms back around her now prone form. He lets one of his long legs tangle with hers. His shirt rides up and her fingers are quick to find a bit of his skin. He doesn’t know if this is right but it feels like it is. He sighs and tries to live in this moment forever before he speaks and ruins it.

“Katara, I just don’t want you to regret any of this tomorrow and realize that I’m the enemy again. I don’t know if I can take it if you hate me again tomorrow.” He admits. He pulls her even closer anyway. Every part of their bodies touching. Gods she feels so good against him. Like she was made to be there. Why has he never done this with anyone before? “And iv never…” He tries to pick the right words. “I’ve never been this vulnerable with anyone.”

“I promise you that I won’t hate you again. I’ve wanted to trust you for so long and truthfully, I already did. I wouldn’t have come with you if I didn’t.” Katara said, “This was not easy for you either. Offering to take me across the world where we planned to murder a man from your country in cold blood. I would have never known who killed my mother without you and no one else in my entire life would have come with me for this. Aang and Sokka never understood what I needed and they still don’t. I love them both but I knew you wouldn’t judge me no matter what I chose, even if I was rude to you this whole time.” 

“I could never judge any choice you make.” He shivered and lowered his face to her hair. “I’ve admired you since I met you. Even when I sent pirates after you. I really hoped you would choose my side then. I’m glad you didn’t now.”

Katara seems embarrassed for a moment and squirms. He jerks slightly when a knee brushes an intimate part of him and he feels a slight grin from her against his shoulder. He has no idea if that was an accident but his head is spinning. She speaks, “I know fire nation royalty aren’t particularly touchy feely.” She runs a slender hand down his ribcage and he struggles not to let on how much the sensations are affecting him. “but my people are. and it has been what seems like a lifetime since anyone has just let me cry and comforted me like a human. Even when I was still at home.. our village lost so many of its softer customs to the demands of war.”

“The only people who have ever even hugged me in my entire life were my mother and my uncle, Katara.” He admits, embarrassed too. “I.. you.. this is nice.” he settles on. Nice doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Katara only hums. He feels her sigh contentedly and hopes she is done teasing him. Katara is pushed against every plane of his body and he thinks his heart might still fail from how lucky he is to have earned her trust despite everything between them. Her breaths slow until he is sure she is asleep. The rain still falls outside and he watches her and he watches the rain and just feels until finally the warmth and contentment begins to pull him toward sleep. His last thought is about how he hopes he will get the chance to do this again one day… tomorrow they have to go back to the Avatar and face their destinies.

[maryellenjunior]

A visitor

Yoooo, it was meant to happen XD....na I just had this idea, and it wouldn’t leave me, so yeah, I hope it’s alright...I think there’ll be more chapters coming, until then, a happy day, a good week and a funny Halloween ;)

Oh and please! Tell me of all the mistakes I made, my English isn’t that good....soooo, besides that, I have no Idea how to write cockney English, so this is my very poor try to imitate Tom Hardy’s brilliant talking XD.

Now two words, that aren’t Enlish, more yiddish.

Mistvieh: word for animal, which is implying, that this animal is ....like difficult to keep???? There’s no fucking translation in the dictionary, it means bloody animal.

Schlamassel: Disaster

Have fun :)

_________________________

He hadn’t expected Tommy. Not right now. Not...here.

"Im going to Margain field. Maybe I see you."

This tired face of a done man had looked up.

"Maybe....maybe I will come."

 And there he was. He looked like a dead horse, Alfie once saw in France. Its eyes pitchblack, staring into absolutely nothing. It had lay on the side, its feet stuck in the barbwire.  There had been blood fucking everywhere. Though there was no blood now, Tommy didn't look better than the fucking horse.

It somehow worried Alfie.

His hands wandered through his beard.

"What the actual fucking fuck are you doing here, mate?"

Tommy took out a cigarette, his eyes looking left, right, then his eyes came back to Alfie and well, allright, Alfie hat to admit, this man truly was a sight. Damn these cheekbones and those blue eyes.

"Well, you said you were here, so I came to visit."

Alfie rolled with his eyes.

"Tommy, sweetie, if you wanna kill me, just fucking do it, but not here, in my house, it’s too nice, you know the floor just been made and my brain would completely fucking destroy the whole picture and-"

"They've killed Arthur."

"What?"

Tommy took another deep, lungdestroying drag of these awful cigarettes. Seriously this man was addictive to all the things, that killed sooner than later. Alfie always suspected Tommy somewhat suicidal, he thought it’s the business with all this death, pain and shit that comes with it.

Tommy threw the rest of this fucking smelling smogshitter into the mud. Blue eyes pierced him down.

"Can I come in?"

What was Alfie supposed to say?

So he mumbled something into his beard and by God the Almighty this was not gonna end well, he felt it in his blood.

It’s strange to have Thomas fucking Shelby in ones owned home. Alfie had the feeling that this man, these cheekbones, this coat, everything, that this man belonged somewhere absolutely beautiful. He reminded Alfie of a prince, from the fairytales, who got lost and found himself suddenly in a very dirty, fucking shithole, where he couldnt get out of. Yeah, alright, Tommy had the face of a fucking prince, all this royal blood and so on. He didn't belong here. The house was nice but it was small, it wasn’t made for these eyes, this coat, these cheekbones.

"Alfie stop thinking, it scares actually the living shit out of me."

Alfie blinked. They were already in the kitchen and Tommy was, Jesus, his mother and all his siblings too, Tommy had a cigarette again between his lips. Alfie would never admit it, but he would like to be these cigarettes sometimes, like now, yeah would be a good time to be a cigarette and-

"I'm sorry about A-"

Tommy just made a quick little shake with his hand and it was surprisingly enough for Alfie to get the message. Shut up, Alfie, please, for the love of God just stop talking. He had to smile. His sister had been the same, when he was younger he had rambled over the stupidest things. Back then her piercing look had been enough to shut him up for good.

She had died of Tuberculosis.

He was going to die of cancer in his lung. He probably was going to die like his sister. Great thing that, innit?

When Tommy spoke again, his voice was small, low, barely a whisper. Yet, Alfie had this sudden feeling of canonballs raining down on him.

"Why did you make a deal with Changretta?"

And when Tommy looked at him, it somehow moved something inside Alfie, which he thought had died during the war, at least when his mama had died.

Regret.

Alfie sat down, next to this smoking pimp. His right hand took Tommys, held it tight. His thumb made small circles all on Tommys scarred rough hand.

He could say something. But why the fuck should he do that now? He didn't say shit when his mama had died, besides the Kaddish. The same with his sister. When he had watched Schmuel, Moshe, Aaron...when they had died of this fucking gas attack and he as the youngest got the mask, he had watched. Just watching them die.

Sometimes you shouldn't say something. It won't bring someone back from the dead, or help them. Actually talking hurt much, much more than saying absolutely fucking nothing.

On Tommy’s tenth cigarette, Alfie felt his eyes slowly shut down. He hadn't let go of Tommy’s hand. He didn't know why. Did it matter?

A shuddering breath on Tommy's side woke him up a little.

"Is there a dog somewhere?"

"What?"

Blue eyes glistened softly in the dark.

"Is there a dog Alfie Salomon. In.This.House. A. Dog. An animal that does fucking everything you ask it for?"

"Yeah, yeah...there is. He's called Cyril and he's a fucking nice Mistvieh, so I would suggest, you play nice with him."

"I hope you don't snore as loud as this animal does."

"You gonna stay?"

There was this sound of a tongue twitching making a high pitch noise and yeah, again it reminded him of his sister.

So he fell to sleep.

He didn't dream. Dreaming wasn't his thing, it's more of a remembering thing. This night he remembered his family and it was a good thing, it was nice to see them all. He told them about his upcoming death and they nodded, smiled and waved at him. Death probably ain't that bad, ey?

"Alfie? Jesus fucking Christ, Alfie, are you there?"

His lungs shuddered, his whole body trembled.

Blue eyes, like the fucking sea, like the south France sea, you know the one, the one with this blue you couldn't forget, damnit, this man shouldn't exist, Alfie wanted to shatter it, this beauty, but he was too weak for that. Fucking cancer.

"Oy mate, I'm fine, I'm fine, all good and bravo. No schlamassel here, now fuck off, I know that having a Shelby nearby ain't never no good."

"You didn't breath anymore."

"That so?"

"Alfie?" Tommy's voice was soft. Gentle. God, he hated it.

"What?"

Their eyes fixed on each other.

"Stay low, I'm gonna walk the dog. You stay in that bed."

And for the first time in his life, Alfie did what he was said to. He didn't say anything, just stayed low and tried to breath.

It wasn't that he was religious. God had left him in the war. But...there was something in him, that didn't know exactly, if God existed or not, so killing himself hadn't been an option, it was just...no, you don't do that. No one speaks the Kaddish for you, if you kill yourself and Ollie would have a Trauma for the rest of his Jewish life. So the deal with Changretta wasn't out of spite, or something, it was more this idea, that Tommy would finally fucking do it. Fucking kill him.

But now he walked the dog and told Alfie to stay in bed. He...oh God...not again, he turned to the side and there it was. It was a difficult thing to describe. Suddenly everything swirled, around you, but worse, in you and you had this urge to throw up everything, everything in your whole body, organs, bones, fucking everything on the floor. And he was weak, fucking weak, his hand lying there, because he was too weak to move it. Come on, come on, he can't just throw up on his own bed?

How the flying fuck had he managed to get to bed?

And then a slap, it's a growing slap, it started in the middle and then grew, grew into a piercing sharp knife that crawled through his chest. And it hurt, by God, it hurt so goddamn much. And he couldn't help it, but he panicked, because he couldn't breathe and he wanted to throw up, wanted to die, wanted to die, wanted to die...

His sister had fought against this sickness in her for good 6 fucking months. 6 months of spasms, of pain, of coughing blood, of tumbling, falling down the steps and her babies had to watch and it had been a fucking disaster.

If he hadn't been a fucking coward back then, he would have shot her. He knew God would have forgiven him for that. He had to.

She had died during Hannukah, the only good thing of being Jewish, you could eat and just have a good time. But now, he hated it. He hated Hannukah, the candles, the food, everything. He-

"Alfie-"

The voice of a man can be frightening. He knew that from his father. But his father hadn't smoked that much, as this Godforsaken goj, so never his voice had never been this raspy. It reminded him of the war.

"You sound like my brothers smothering in gas. You should quit smoking."

He was blind, too weak to open his eyes. A deep sigh rang in his ears. He had to grin.

"It's nice here, Alfie, really..."

"God damn it, boy, you could fucking carry me in me own bed, stop pretending you can't carry me behind this house, shoot in me head and then let me rot there, or call Ollie."

Again tongue against teeth.

"I don't know if your dog would allow such a thing Alfie. And I would bury you."

"Nah, man, you would call your fucking family to do this shitwork for you. You're beyond that already, you don't bury the people you murder, we both don't, takes up too much time, we would bury for the rest of our lives, my sweet, sweet Tommy, we wouldn't be what we are if we gave a piece of shit about what we're doing."

And in that, Tommy gave a silent agreement.

[waitinginthedarke]

He’ll be wrong, for you.

A BTS/Kim Taehyung Fanfiction Summary : What happens when you take on Kim Taehyung…  Type: Mafia!AU (BTS)

********************Prologue*********************

Chapter 1

5 Months ago

‘I told you to go careful around him! If you would have heeded my warning you would have avoided this-‘

‘I got myself out didn’t I? Stop acting as if I caused an inconvenience! He was the one who called the police! …besides, we still need to work out how to get the diamonds from him.’ You snap at Kyuho, agitatedly throwing your jacket onto the large table that separated the two of you in the gang’s den before instantly beginning to pace, ignoring the cries of your feet that had procured blisters after having to run the 10 mile police chase you’d just been put through curtesy of your new enemy; Kim Taehyung. Kyuho’s beady little eyes stuck to you like pinpricks as you forced your mind back to 30 minutes earlier; to the moment Taehyung had dropped on you that he’d been one step ahead of you the whole time.

How? How had he known?

Had you been too obvious? Should you not have leant into him so much? …what if-

‘Y/N!? Are you even listening to me anymore?’ Kyuho snaps at you, his anger barely bringing you out of your reverie as you sigh and begin to walk toward the door that would take you to your apartment within the complex.

‘I think I need a bath…��

The water threatening your lungs as you sunk beneath its surface, was strangely peaceful to your over-crowded brain, the sensation offering a sense of reprieve from the thoughts crashing around inside your head; thoughts all trained in one direction.

Kim Taehyung.

If you were above the water you’d be able to distract yourself with the scents of camomile and lavender that had broken free from the bath bomb you’d used. But instead, with no way to smell anything, your lungs as they slowly began to burn from lack of oxygen, conjured the memory of that dark, intoxicating scent of his, the one you’d been caught in for barely a second, before he’d played you.

Damnit, y/n! Think of something else! Think of guns, or that karate move you used on the new trainee the other day, or puppies, or-

He kind of looked like a puppy…

Water cascades over the sides of the tub as you force your free from its surface, gasping in an angry breath at yourself as you steady your body, staring at your legs through the distorted vision of the water, and pushing yourself up to get out, when the sight simply makes you more angry- conjuring images of them being intertwined with his.

Why the HELL were you having these thoughts?! What was wrong with you? He was just a guy! A bad one at that-

Its as you’re wrapping your robe around yourself and walking through to your bedroom that your thoughts bypass the oppressive negation of the man, to reveal some suggestions as to his relevance as he crawled beneath your skin.

Was it his calm? Was it the way he’d taken an interest in you; the way he’d challenged you with his attention; joined in with your game?

Maybe it was how quiet he’d been; yet how loud the humour was that had glowed from his eyes. Or the way he’d appeared to command the entire room, but had allowed you to think for a moment that you did with the way he’d renounced all eyes to you.

He’d wanted to play your game…

‘Fuck.’

The whispered word slips from your lips as you drop down onto the end of your bed, your exhausted mental state causing you to hang your head momentarily as your body acknowledges the effort you’d put into that evening. Within a few minutes you were falling slowly to the side and curling up on the foot of the mattress, but even as your eyes slide closed, one thought, or rather, one man, continued to haunt your mind.

Kim Taehyung.

Running helped you clear your mind; on the treadmill, in the park,…away from enemies…

Running was the one place you felt most in control, the one thing that you were the best at; that you could beat all others in.

But that morning was different.

When you woke up at 5am each morning, it was with the anticipation of the run, the anticipation of being able to escape by yourself; to push your bodies limits, and to immerse yourself in the wind that would lash at your face and the burn of your legs as your feet pounded the ground.

However, that morning, as you approached the track along the river’s edge which ran near the gang’s complex, all you could see was the shadows dancing in the water under the gleam of the barely there morning light, and the winding curves of the track that anticipated their chance to challenge and trip you up.

Each mile you ticked off became a burden on your limbs and your mind, and you end up cursing at yourself when you stumble to a stop on the cusp of mile 6, unable to keep pounding away at the track with the dizziness being instilled in your mind. You knew you had to get your act together before the start of the day today- since, you had around 3 tasks to write off for Kyuho, and pretty much all of them involved a LOT of focus- but in that moment all you can do is sit on the edge of the path and take a few moments to watch the sun pull its way over the horizon.

Its as you’re casting your eyes over the expensive homes and apartment blocks that sat along the other edge of the water, that you catch sight of something you instantly believe you were imagining.

A-top one of the roof’s toward the south end of the line of buildings you were staring at, was the figure of a man, the glow from the sun forcing him to be cast as a silhouette. However, after spending the night obsessing over a certain face that had been the centre of your attention, there was no way you were going to mistake the jawline that was directed out toward the view.

‘Son of a-‘ you go to say, standing up in your astonishment, your body leaning toward the target of your attention, but you’re quick to remember the water that ran 10ft below your feet, your mind instantly calculating routes that would take you toward the figure fastest. Its just as you’re about to move that you watch his head turn in what could only be your direction, and the image  of that same smirk that he’d gifted you with the night before (no matter how indecipherable it was from that distance), has you raging instantly, just as your phone begins to ring.

‘What is it? I was running-‘ you answer instinctively, assuming it was Kyuho who was calling you. However, you should have been paying more attention to the figure on the roof, who’d lifted his own mobile device to his ear seconds earlier…

…maybe then you would have been one step ahead of him.

‘Actually, I believe you’ve been staring at me for the past 5 minutes, sweetheart. But im sure you already know that.’

His voice sends chills running through your body immediately, the goosebumps that raise across your flesh despite the warmth of your body brought on from your run feeling like pinpricks that narrow your attention back to the man on the roof who was indisputably staring at you in that moment.

‘Your silence is amusing, Y/N. Tell me, how did you end last night? Was it as enjoyable as I assume?’

‘Actually, other than a small cat and mouse chase, It was rather uneventful.’ You snap back, bristling with pride at your ability to gift his sarcasm back to him so quickly, the small smirk that had grown on your lips going unnoticed by yourself as you stare at him stood up on the rooftop, the expanse of the river seemingly non-existent in that moment.

‘Ahh…is that so? …In that case, it would appear there’s more to you than meets the eye.’ He growls from the other end of the line, his silhouette on the rooftop beginning to pace a little, and you become mildly entranced by the way the sun cuts his jawline so sharply, before what he’d said registers in your mind and you feel a small frown building on your forehead.

‘Are you saying you underestimated me? …Clearly you should do more research. People may describe you as the big dog around here-‘

‘Do they?’ he asks, the amusement in his voice having your teeth gritting together, and the rush of blood in your ears quelling as you continue on as if he hadn’t spoken.

‘…Big dogs always have a weakness, Mr Kim.’

‘Are you calling yourself my weakness, sweetheart?’

You hadn’t expected the response; the words spoken so point-blankly that you’re stunned into silence for a few moments as your brain goes down a path that, in your dreams the previous night, had led to you waking up with a thin layer of sweat encompassing your limbs. Its only once you hear his small chuckle on the other end of the phone, obviously from your moment of stasis, that you quickly respond- anger now fully fledged in your veins.

‘If that’s how you want to think of me, Mr Kim, then be my guest. But im afraid that would be a rather foolish mistake on your behalf.’

Turning your back on the water, its just as you go to hang up and begin the run back to the compound, that his unsettling answer echoes down the phone, forcing you to pause and look behind you once more-

‘I’d rather see it as a challenge, Y/N. …I do so love a challenge.

-only to observe the fully risen sun, shining down on an empty rooftop.

‘Okay, remember what we discussed; you go with the plan; don’t stray from the steps we laid out…okay? …y/n? Y/N!?’

‘Yeah, sure, whatever you say.’ You mumble inconspicuously to yourself as you sit in the corner booth of the club you found yourself in that evening, completing your final task for the day; seducing a middle-aged fraudster and retrieving the money Kyuho had lost in a gamble with him, in which he’d suspiciously lost 10 million dollars.

‘Y/N, I mean it! I don’t want a repeat of last night.’ The man himself hisses in your ear, the way he brings up the previous evening’s antics causing your hand to fist on the stem of your wine glass, and you’re milliseconds from fracturing it, when the target of your attention for the evening walks through the door.

‘He’s here.’ Is all you say in response, before you assume a nonchalant position in the booth; legs crossed so that the hem of your dress rides up your thigh slightly, elbows leant on the table and your cheek propped in your hand, an innocently bored expression on your face as you swirl the wine around your glass.

‘Okay, give it 10 minutes and if he hasn’t approached-‘

‘I’ll turn you off if you don’t stop repeating things I already know.’ You warn Kyuho through tight lips, watching the movements of the guy in the reflection of your wine glass and restraining the urge to smirk when you see him recline into a booth diagonally to your own,  observing the stare he fixes on you.

‘You’re lucky you’re my best man. Otherwise I’d sanction you for that mouth.’ Your boss snipes in your ear, making your lip curl in amusement as you take a moment to think about the large margin of room every newbie he’d hired for the past year had given you when they’d seen you at the complex, the response only working to inflate your ego more and more as time had gone on.

‘I’m a woman, Kyuho. Never forget that.’ You mutter back in response, dragging in a deep breath and fixing an even more put out expression on your face as you take a sip of wine before continuing to pout at your glass.

You bite back your satisfied smile when you catch site of your target standing from his table and beginning to approach you a little while later, forcing yourself to remain unmoving and just as moody as you had been, before acting innocently surprised when his black slacks appear beside you.

‘Excuse me, I couldn’t help but see how lonely you appeared over here by yourself…may I join you?’

An hour later and you were beginning to grow weary of the way this guy was leering all over you; continuing to comment on how fragile and defenseless you seemed, and how he could ‘protect you’ should you wish it. The number of times you came close to socking him in the face should have earned you a medal for your restraint, yet by the time you’d convinced him to return to your ‘house’ with you- rather than his- you were more than happy to lead him out the front door of the bar and down the back alley that was coalesced in shadows.

The feeling of unease that ran up your back should have clued you in to his presence.

‘Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have me drive you, beautiful?’ the sleezeball asks you, the slight hint of nervousness in his tone making you smirk as you continue to lead him deeper down the black street, hand clasped firmly around his making escape impossible for him.

‘Beautiful, I really think we should take the car-‘ he continues to urge you, pulling at your arm this time, and you cant help but roll your eyes at his menial sense of worry, catching sight of a perfect corner of the alley where you’d be out of sight of prying eyes, and continuing to guide him toward it as he proceeds to up his protests.

‘Honestly, I think we should turn back, Beautiful.’

‘Beautiful, I really think you’ve taken a wrong turn. Do you even know where we are-‘

Before you can even give him a chance to realize his mistake, you’re dropping the innocent façade and turning on him, whipping around and slamming your hand to his throat, just tight enough to restrict his airflow, and cause him to panic, the expression on his face causing the amusement to rise within you as you stare up at the man, allowing him to see the truth behind the lonely mask you’d been wearing all evening; to see the potential for murder in your expression...

‘Have you never heard the phrase, don’t play with your food, Sweetheart?’

The second it takes for you to register that the words hadn’t come from the mouth of the man before you, opens up an opportunity for the guy before you to attempt to disarm and maim you; an action that could only receive one response.

‘FUCK.’

‘If that’s what you want, sweetheart, you simply have to ask nicely.’

The sentence forces a growl from between your teeth, and, forcing yourself to look away from the snapped neck of the asshole that now lay dead at your feet, you turn to meet the cocky gaze of the man who’d haunted your every thought since the moment you first laid eyes on him.

‘Hello, Y/N. …I see you’ve been having a… productive …evening.’

Kim Taehyung.

Present Day

‘Y/N…y/n, sweetheart…wake up.’

Pushing down the instinctive urge to snap groggily at him as you hear the soft, caring tone of his voice- quite unlike the one all that time ago, the second you open your eyes, you’re quick to heed his advice; shuffling upright and instantly apologizing to him when you accidentally cause the hand cuffs on his end of the chain to bite into his wrists with the action.

The set up had changed from the day before; Taehyung and your sheepish attempt at testing the limits of your captors ending in you being put into separate cells with thick bars to keep you apart, with one chain holding you both in place; that chain connecting you to one another via your handcuffs.

‘Its almost dinner. They should be in soon,…remember-‘

‘I know, Tae; look for weakpoints; look for…’ you cut your automatic response off with a yawn, frowning at how tired you felt and trying to shake the sleep weighing down your body, knowing it was only brought on by the lack of nutrients your body was taking in compared to your usual high protein diet.

‘Y/N…are you-‘

‘I’m fine, Tae.’ You quickly stop him, finally turning your head to look behind yourself through the bars that you’d been leant against, instinctively smiling softly when you see his innocent, and concerned, expression staring back at you, where he’d presumably been watching you whilst you slept to check that no harm came your way. The small curl of his lips that answers your expression instantly has your chest feeling lighter and your brain functioning easier, the subtle look of adoration that had been missing from him as of late, reassuring you that you were both still on the same page.

‘Do you want to know what I was just dreaming about?’ you murmur after shuffling to lean back against the bars once more, this time facing him so that your cheeks were squished against the cold metal, but the act made him smirk at your playfulness nonetheless, and so you know it was worth it.

‘Did it involve me?’ he asks jokingly, curling his lip in that way of his that simultaneously made him look like the prince charming of the story as well as the villain; his eyes peering out at you from beneath his brows causing your body to roll with tremors.

‘Of course it did.’ You smirk, biting your lip for effect, and giggling when he pushes himself onto his knees so that he could crawl closer to you, the thick double bars keeping you apart annoying you, but you continue to grin at him as he comes to a stop across from you, assuming the same ‘face between the bars’ position that you’d adopted and smirking right back at you, completely forgetting about the potential for company to arrive and giving you the entirety of his attention.

‘Tell me more.’

(T.B.C)