#im feeling like shit yahhh

[tarutaruga]

madatobi sketch to cheer me up

[knightcoree]

Incoming vent: cuz I'm a ball of stress rn

I'm trying for a job at the movies and the apps so confusing by the time I figure this shit out i do believe they will stop hiring RIP COME ONNN...

I need a job . But also something better than retail fuck retail I been working retail for years it sucksss and also, I been awake cuz idk? Adhd maybe? And just cleaning my room like a crazy person lol maybe I'm a nervous wreck I definitely am. I haven't been replying to stuff as quickly as usual cuz I been so stressed... I haven't had a job in a while cuz I been feeling... idk like I suck at everything so why try? I keep quitting or getting fired when will the cycle end.. ugh.. it's just very discouraging yah.. so I'm nervous I'll screw up this job too like the others..yah. part of the reason I haven't been even looking for a job in a while is that. Im glad my mom is being patient w me. Cuz my anxiety and depression gets the best of me at times. Those close to me know that too well... yahhh.. I get depressed and yah. Anxious too. It's bad sometimes. Real bad. I'm glad you guys are patient w my stupid ass too. Thank you. <3 I'm trying so hard to adult lol and to keep it together for you guys...I don't even drive yet I'm too scared.. im.. yah in trying to push myself more. I used to go to college too. Need to go back and get a REAL career one day. I do hope. That's a whole nother story..college.. I can't go til I get a grant.. cuz I lost my scholarship for quitting too many classes and 1 bitchy professor failing me cuz I'm too shy in class. Fuck them. Yah. Anyway. Yah. That's discouraging too so much to get nervous about. That asshole professor even threw away my paperwork stating I'm autistic and need help and I'm shy esc. All about my autism. I got the paper from my school counselor who told me to give the papers to my professors. But that 1 bitch prof. one threw it away right in front of me. Fuck em. Hate em so much. Theatre class was a waste of my time.yet I passed mythology class the professor for that LOVED me . So yah. Theatre guy was biased af. I also passed art. And that was HARD AF i had to take extra trips to get extra credit but i did it and prof loved me. Theatre guy was the only bitch who hated me. Like i even did extra credit trips for Theatre for them yet. Yah. Im unfavored apparently idk. should have reported them to the dean like everyone told me to. But i didn't like a dumbass lol. Now it's too late so rip. I'm going back eventually for zookeeping or voice acting cuz tbh choosing is hard. But ya I'll get a grant. I'm trying next year. I'm gonna try driving next year too. I'm pushing myself to adult.

-jax

[taestefully-in-luv]

The way im SO INVESTED in our time is questionable bc girl are u really that good at writing? An absolute YES my people we have A genius HERE!!!!! i love ALL ur stories im a LOYAL reader of urs but oh god the shit going on in this our time book is makin me lose my mind! Love it w all my heart! But like PLEASE MISSY Let's not make this A cheating trope or at least if u feel that it's needed (up to u ofc) let's not make them end up together bc we never get back w cheaters ladies, loveee yahhh

i’ll just say i agree that cheating is unforgivable 😙

glad you’re enjoying this story thank you!~

[hiraethstill]

THIS WEEK AND LAST WEEK ON DAIYA NO ACE (7/16 and 7/23)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

7/16 LIVEBLOG:

IMMEDIATE assault by eijun's handsome face

and his DETERMINATION

every time the OP comes on im like where are the babies? THERE THEY ARE @ firsties

the way i GASPED

THIS IS HOW WE FELL IN LOVE WITH EIJUN I TELL YOU

haha poor audience member doesnt know sawamura is mostly good at swinging from the bunt stance

eijun... you have every right to be frustrated

ugh... the way he looks when he was a doormat to the ace... i feel this too much my chest hurts

"if i had pitched like furuya did today i wouldve been subbed out" TOO TRUE AND OUCH

HE HITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

THE BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGENDDD

AND JUST LOOK AT ASADA AND KUKI'S F A C E S

DOUBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

lmao did eijun learn to run bases from mochi? now i want this

uhhh the announcer was wrong? the STANDS were all cheering and happy, it was mostly the dugout that was surprised

bc this is level of trust he gets from first string sigh

sorry all my frustration is here

HAHA OKAY BUT why does this look gayalso sawamura's little "na!" with the pew pew is so cute wtf

his lil cheeky face in the corner im hashjdlkdgj

haruichi and toujou in that shot look like they'd been helping him practice batting and it paid off 

hslkhg eijun and his "hips!" i cant

KANEMARUUUUUUUUU

HELL YEAH TAKUMI NICE SHOULDER

nice eijun is safe

haha i never know who to root for bc i love all the bois

okay but

has anyone ever talked about how cool amahisa's eyes are???

i mean

look at this

so cool

yoooo wtf amahisa's voice in this part is really appealing??? damnn

so... kanemaru's a capable batter even if he's not top tier, why you gotta keep making him bunt

oh well, i like that face you're making kanemaru

noooooooooooo

it's okay kanemaru you did your best

cmon mochi bring him home!!!!!!!!!!

EIJUN ENOUGH WITH THE HIPS LMAO

yeah thats right mochi + other batters, give him the run support he deserves

AMAHISA THE DISASTER BI IM

"did he shave his eyebrows? he looks like a strong fighter" are you just checking him out

you'd want him to do those jump kicks amahisa

moon-face?????

omg i feel the tinglings... of a rarepair... amakura.....................

what was i saying about his EYES??

come the fuck ON dont leave eijun stranded on second!!!!!!

H

HHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MY BOISSSSSSSSSSS

SHOW ME YOUR FACEEE

(and u rite yall amahisa is yabai)

THERE BE YOUR FACEEEE

IM SO EMOTIONAL

AND HIS VOICE

FUCKLE

AND HIMSTDVEEE

whoaaa that slowmo pitching sequence!

HARUCCHIII

oh hello eijun upping the tempo and looking great doing it

wow this super HD sparkle miyuki

EIJUN IS BEAUTIFULLLL and lowkey this looks like the OP

ASADA AND KUKI MY SONS I WOULD DIE FOR YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

BEING SO EXCITED ABOUT THE CUTTER KAI AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I ALSO LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HLKDHFS AURA

okay sun we gettin a lil cap happy

another pretty eijun shottttt

WHOA 3D BALL

3D SLOWMO BALL

N* H* TT * R

i feel like i jinxed him sorry eijun

also i LOVE when the stands yell OSH OSH OSH back

wow toujou's voice was. so cute??

noriiiii i love you so much and thank you

furuya silently reflecting huh?

YO WTF IN THE MANGA NORI'S CAP COVERS FURUYA'S NUMBER WTF ANIMATORS ITS ICONIC

awww theyre all patting him i wanna pat eijun too

NORIIIIII YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS

kanemaru's eyes are gray??

kousei-san.......... mayhaps i have.......... Feelings about this

"gureato" man tahara is great

HLJSKDFHKGSFJGKFHDGLDF BLONDE AMAHISA

THIS IS JUST FUELING MY AMAKURA LMAOOO

WHY IS BLONDE HAIR IN MIDDLE SCHOOL A RUNNING JOKE IN ANIME

kuramochi, amahisa, hyuuga from knb, alla dem yankees

oh my god is that suddenly shaved head amahisa still in first year he's so smol

wow kousei is so eccentric haha i love it

YESSS BRINGING BACK MANAKA-BOY

omg yakushi cameo!!

wow this is so pleasant to look at and idk why??

his eyeeesss

and this too omgg

I SEE NISHINO

omgggg are they who i think they are

YES THEY AREANIMATORS REALLY BE FEEDING ME TODAY

sorry mimei that was too much tension in a single glance not to be homoerotic

go shirasu-senpai!

wellll shit, rip zono and rip seidou

142 pitches???????? are they throwing out amahisa's arm imma fight

YO OKAY BUT DOES THIS MEAN INAJITSU VS ICHIDAI

"that wouldnt be any fun" uh you do realize you're talking about a person's physical health right audience member???

the. ace. is. not. the. only. player.

its okay this is the peanut gallery they dont matter in the long run

omg are the first years wearing their school uniform slacks

AWWWW TAKU OFFERED TO CARRY SAWAMURA'S BAG

taku always worried about everyone and sawamura looking rather nice actually

HLJSKFDHGD AMAHISA'S FACE LIGHTING UP AT EIJUN

omg was that a little bow eijun made at amahisa before moving on?

"something i want to ask you" are you boutta ask him out amahisa

im sorry i love eyes too much

and also! eijun getting the recognition he deserves!! buuuut from another team rip

cmon eijun he's trying to be nice tbh

lmao koushuu and shirakawa should meet... resting bitch face club 

"i've never seen kousei-san take interest in another pitcher" THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO UNPACK IN THIS STATEMENT

LMAO HE DID HE DID ASK FOR HIS LINE

my sonsssss

yes asada and kuki, be free! go move around!

asdkfh i just squee every time taku

and these lines on koushuu look so nice??

intense son

scremmm

he's so happy and fired up to see koushuu fired up im

wholeass Sons™

lmao koushuu getting mad for sawamura

my inexperience... yes kataoka

teito and inajitsu coaches lmao

500K rivals to fwb to lovers

ive always thought kunitomo's neck crack is so funny

UHHHHH CARLOSHIRA REALLY TOYING WITH MY HEART HERE

THIS IS NOT OKAY

IM NOT OKAY

mochi looking mighty fine in this shot

aw... ejun sitting alone....

just wanna say oda and kuroki very lesbian in the ED

preview

ooh mei batting

sawamura and furuya watching so intently!!

INUI KENGOOOOOO

aw... eijun turning to harucchi for support

oh man third years...

SUMMARY (7/16):

eijun DOUBLES!! 

rip seidou tho 

amahisa's eyes??? pretty??? 

ATTACC BY INAJITSU CAMEO 

taku offering to carry eijun's bag + serious senpai face 

careful amahisa your gay is showing 

koushuu mad on eijun's behalf lmao

inajitsu vs teito next!

7/23 LIVEBLOG:

ah yes, that tension-filled mimei look

CAN THEY STOP TESTING ME WITH CARLOSHIRA SCREENS

ooh this parallel of mei and mukai #1s

why does mei look so young at bat lmao

rather nice shot of mukai tbh

omg that tiny background akamatsu is adorable

WOW i love this shot

hell yeah mei kicking ass and taking names

boi... what you doin

KANETOU RIGHTS

kuraharu rights too!!

wow mochi's voice, never over it

BOI ARE THEY JUST SHOWING SHIPS LOOK AT MINORI

lookit mochi bein a good senpai

ooh eijun finally said no huh

mochi and harucchi look so concerned tbh i am too

mm and miyuki and furuya too huh

WHAT IS THIS BLEP STAHP

oowada always cracks me up lmao

esp when mine is so grave next to her

oh so mukai likes gambling? im not surprised lmaooo

INUI-SANNN I LOVE YOUUU

THE BOIIII

HE

H E

H I M S T

omg the way tetsu says carlos sounds all proud and im soft

PRETTY BOIS DOIN J O B S

GETTIN THAT BREAD

omg two RBIs too good job shirakawa!!!

omg im so glad mei encouraged itsuki

have i ever mentioned

inui x mukai RIGHTS

ESP THIS SEQUENCE OF MUKAI (AND INUI) PRACTICING

BOIIII

that toujou face... some toujou and mukai art i saw comes to mind

DAMN THE IMAGE WHEN INUI HITS IM WOW

also is carlos actually wearing his compression undershirt holy wow

he didnt used to at least

ANYWAY INUI DINGERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

HELL YAHHH

omg was that a little tiger next to inui SO CUTE

oh my god "mei-san mei-san" too cute

LMAO TOO LONG

MEI I SWEAR

yoo mei you okay there

SLOW MO BALL

okay why does he look so good please

OKAY WHY DOES HE LOOK SO GOOD PLEASE

do you know how many times i had to rewind for this screenshot

shirakawa also looks good frustrated fuckle

mei stop shakin off signs dammit

ooh nice akamatsu shot

seidou shares one (1) brain cell in this screen

much too short a game damn...

ive heard we were robbed of itsuki's blush??? cause hello i need catcher catcher goodness with him and inui

omg... they're literal children

SSLKDFHLSKDHGSSTOPPPPPPPPP

IM WEAK OKAY

I KNOW IT

I ACCEPT IT

HOW DAREMSTDVE

AND HIS V O I C E

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFF

hahaha anyway im just laughing at carlos being a momentary harada

"mei-san" !!!

mei x mukai... so chaotic

wow amahisa looks so nice???

lmao they really didnt HAVE to put harucchi in the bg when miyuki's talking to furuya but they DID

miyuki... looking at mei too long not to be homo there

eijun :c

oh man

that really hurt

the face of a SON tho

"so you are human after all" so many things i want to say about this

sawamura... doesn't seem to hold a grudge against furuya at all and honestly wow...

tho its def not furuya's fault i think thats a mark of him being pretty mature!

anyway im glad furuya wants to watch the video too

also nabe!!!!! i wonder how close eijun and nabe are and how many times eijun has bothered him for the videos haha

ochiai, a backup catcher... interesting

"he must overcome this on his own" do you know how many problems there are with this statement

yeah it wasnt fair

"for better or for worse" are you kidding

oh furusawa lmaoo

and nabe just patient over there

oh hello masayui and kanetou

anime fist clench

koushuu!!!

oh man miyuki introspection......... i know where this is going.........

appreciating sawamura's hard work and optimism!!!!!

HE IS READY DAMMIT

how many more times does he have to prove it to you

loveLY but also reused?

WOW IM EMOTIONAL ALL THESE MEMORIES...

ALSO THIS IS PRETTY DAMN GAY...

and the shadow of miyuki in the background... WOW

three months............. until the third years retire...........................................

im not okA Y............................

all the things this smile hides

preview

BOI YOU ALREADY PITCH THAT WELL

wow too many sons

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BABY TAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

AND BABY KOUSHUU

END CARD WITH MANAGERS AAA CUTE

SUMMARY (7/26):

mei kicking ass and taking names 

mukai and his fooken BLEP 

PRETTY INAJITSU BOIS DOIN JOBS 

INUI DINGERRR 

inui/mukai rights 

mei + mukai actual CHILDREN 

carloshira stop attaccing sun challenge f a iled 

eijun @ harucchi :c 

three months... 

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! 

[mitarashiarts]

S.A.L.E.M. is a story that centers around a robot that is capable of learning emotions. It stands for ‘Sapient Autonomous Learning Empathic Machine’. It was created by a scientist who wanted to bridge the gap between machine and human, hoping to basically give a nonliving object the capability to feel and think for itself without only using logic as its motive. This dude def did his best but couldn’t finish as at the time, the project itself and many others similar to his were shut down in the midst of war. The war was over... smth I haven’t thought of yet but one part of it was War Machines vs. Enhanced Soldiers who’s dna were merged with that of dogs.

Humanity died out tho, and the people that were lucky enough to be apart of the DNA shit survived (doggos and various other animals were immune). SOOO like some thousand years later,  S.A.L.E.M.wakes up only to find its scientist is gone and left a video asking for it to keep learning. It probably takes a while but it’s found by this puppo dude, Chance. Other time, the people left behind slowly evolved into this so... yAHHH. But, Chance is an aspiring mechanic who finds  S.A.L.E.M. and is intrigued with this big ass super computer cause it’s ‘old tech’. He lives in a place where no one really likes robots but he has a huge affinity for them.  S.A.L.E.M. asks to be given a new body to move around, as it’s very determined to learn human emotions and fulfill its scientist’s dream. It also has a hard time believing the scientist is dead unless it has proof (denial, that’s a ... that’s an emotion right? eheheehe)

So its second body is this lil helicopter thing! It gets a few different bodies WHICH I WANNA DRAW SO BAD, and learns emotions as they travel together vwv  S.A.L.E.M. experiences different things from other dog peeps and AI who were created back when it was also being made (the scientist had friends who also were apart of this project and did their own AI things as well).

Sapience in AI/robots/androids n shit is one of my favorite themes in sci-fi and due to not feeling at all happy with my current ocs or fanart, I decided to try out smth I never did before. I’ve always been intimidated by robots cause intricate designs, but I’m slowly learning to just draw them ;w; I can’t wait to get further into this story <3 Also excited for S.A.L.E.M. to learn about gender/sexuality cause knowing my ass, it’ll identify as male and gay >w>;;;; BUT exploring WHY is what im excited for! And other things like trauma and illogical behaviors and what not. The dog peeps are still at their core ‘human’ but appearance wise are def ‘dog’. They have a balance of both I guess... and ALSO the fact that actual dogs still exist and they can kinda communicate with the puppo people will be fun to play with >:o ! SO YEAH. I’ll hope to draw more robots soon ;w; <3More on these character if and when I  can get more down into them. 

If you have interests in robots or know more about them and have shit to share about robot/AI/android shit pls feel free to send asks about it :D This is something I’ve been aching to make for FOREVERRR like my demon story that I still need to get off the ground... but yeah! (also sabers is still in the color process, im just very slow and unmotivated v0v)

[gayspock]

omg im doin a tng thought dump so soon anyways

- okay so i did like times arrow it wasnt QUITE the fave i was expecting but it was enjoyable. i think it did suffer a little from doctor who disease, u kno wht i mean? where thye just had a famous character from history there for the hell of it - even when i feel like it would have been better to dedicate that time to the actual story itself.. but omg tht might just be my doctor who brain talking bc like i said. sometimes it contracts that disease when they just bring in some random historical figure for funsies which is COOL but then they just. get in the way and its like babygirl i dont think its worth it just have fun in the era

- an im only saying that bc OMGGG its such a shame babe i really got hype for it bc u kno me... loveee my bestie data, love the idea of an inescapable fate, etc. and the girlies in the past ohh i eat it up om nom nom but then its like yahhh like bc i do think it rlly could have fucked but i lost a lil momentum on it which wasnt HELPED by the fact that..

- then sniff sniff .... e2 and e3 of s6. this is the other sad part abt bingeing tng and its why s1&s2 took so long bc omggg when two clunkers appear im like 😒wah okie dokie bc like

- okay ep2 didnt outright suck i just found it a relevatively uninteresting episode do you kno what i mean. not shittin on it and im sure barclay girlies love it but it was just kind of a going through the motions kinda thing for me. like yes.. a transporter malfunction! and barclay is anxious! and thats all u need to know to put it all together

- but then omg.. i hate e3 . WHY does it feel like deanna gets some really shite episodes focussed on her GIVE her some damn justice, babe!! like bleh. its also so disappointin when its just like.... ugh its kinda reminisicent of that episode last season where a dude just fucking. quite literally mind r*pes her and its like alright! and like i dont mind if u wanna do sth . heavy but it always just feels .. not very well handled at all, babe. i'd need to rewatch it to express it better but fuckn yah.

- and in this ep too im just really not feeling it 😐i think the ep itselfjust also.... WHEN PPL ARE MAKIN STRANGE DECISIONS. and its just yah yah omg my brain juice is runngin out now

- but e4 is next.. and omg scotty my bestie 😁😘 hiyyaaaa i rlly miss him so bad ive been excited for this ep but i thinkit might make me cry and tear up... omg. im too fragile an shit

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 4X17 It's a Terrible Life

wheeee

Also visited the pit today! was very fun, but am very tired

oh holy SHIT IS IT NORMAL!AU?

NO CLASSIC ROCK!

DEAN SM I T H

he's...good at his job...and happy?

he feels vaguely openly bi here too

WOODY!

I Feel like this is Zachariah but WOODY!

walking stick?

oh Sam and Dean don't know each other?

AHAHAH SAM'S LIFE IS T ER R IB LE

at least he's got a friend

he really does feel like a Younger one

he's the stick in the mud heh

TESSA DREAM! YA GIRL!

I really miss Tessa

Harry Potter is a pretty apt metaphor actually

PFT SAM'S SO T AL L

i...did Dean think sam was...

guys what the fuck

I forgot what show this was HE REFERENCED PROJECT RUNWAY WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT

is Sam still good at doodles? is he??

Sam's Friend is the plant isn't he

what the fuck is happening with Paul

why is it being shot like this

WAHT TEH FUCK

HE JUST KILLED HIMSELF WITH THE MICROWAVE WHAT THE FUCK

Ooo Dean gets a vibe too

oh does it pass to his friend??

and the friend kills himself in front of Dean? is that what happens?

Ok the bathroom scene spooky

IAN WHAT HTE FUCK

also good pencil set up

three weeks ago both of them heh

"I got the same instinct" THAT'S NEAT

PSYCHICCCC

this reminds me of that office space psych episode

aw Dean's impressed by the hacking and Sam's like heh

Dean trying to pretend he doesn't wanna check it out Interesting the Repression runs deep

Sam: well apparently I can kick doors down. Who knew?

the "everything is midlife crisis" but the last name? neat neat

ooo destiny

Dean's still not into Destiny heh

SAMMY

heh Dean's good at research, that's neat

GHOSFTACERS

IM CACKLING

IT'S THEM! HAHAHA!

"Devoted his life to his work" ah

ah it happened before in the Great Depression

OH 2008 RECESSION! OH WOW

It's adorably how Dean still does the references

THEY NAMEDROPPED THE WINCHESTERS

Say their first names say them PLEASE

is this a zap? how did this happen

the fucking...the ghostfacers are so funny

the ghosty noises are crazy

"last time this happened" sir?

OH GOD THEGUY JUST

poor Sam, he's not having a good day

this whole like half "oh we're good at this" and "YAHHH" is so FUN

oH THE GLOVES

aw the "we should go Do This"

THEY DID THE FANFIC THING OF "hey can u imagine if we did that thing we do on the show all the time" I LOVE IT

BOBBY ELLEN AND JO ARE DEAN'S FAMILY AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

HE WENT TO STANFORD

"my family isn't real" NOOO

Dean's a perfectly healthy guy what's ur PROBLEM Sam?

AND KRIPKE?

Sam you Edgy Bastard STOP KILLING THE PHONE

"I am giving my notice" Oh?

Dean tends not to do things unless someone pushes him, or on his own

fuck it I still kin him don't I

the Abrupt Color Change was WILD

ZACHARIAH

Castiel's superior?

I will point out that Dean looks good in a tie

oh for FUCK'S- THIS MOTHERFUCKER GOD TRAINED! THAT'S NOT INSTINCT!

HE WAS RETICENT! COME ON

"you got daddy issues"

"angel or not I will Stab you in the face" GREAT LINEHA

he's trying to convince himself you can tell

THIS WAS NOT THAT BAD OF A FATE! WHAT THE FUCK

i...wrap up

1. The kripke projection is strong. I..I just can't get over how "eats healthy, went to stanford, has a loving family, a sister and two parents" is...the worst fate imaginable. Like the Ideal is life on the road. Dean's constantly caught between Kripke wanting to make him the womanizing bad boy and the character CLEARLY hating it and that's...like that's a lot. Sam says it, so does Zachariah, but he was like...healthy, and he was well liked and he was WAY higher up than Sam? I? It's not a crime to not want being near all that death, which is what I thought they were doing.

2. I did like the build up though. Like the combo between "they did this without thinking" and "wait wtf" the pointed intro of Woody(yes i know not woody but leave me alone) THE GHOSTFACERS, the reaction to "winchester" I just. The build up of this episode, and the sudden color swap was AWESOME. The episode itself building was compelling.

3. Bitch this wasn't in his blood, this was a learned, ingrained behavior. he was taught that since he was a toddler, of course he knows how to do it well. I don't like that. Although I do like how Dean was fighting it, that felt a nice touch.

4. I liked how it tied into the recession. Like 2005-8/9 is when people were getting disillusioned, and in that sense, having these characters around and being just Crushed makes sense, and was interesting.

5. This episode was basically Office!AU of the original 3 seasons, and that was funny

aight that's all I got

[his-winter-rose]

if you want to answer them, i challenge you to answer all the "20 questions" :p

*cracks knuckles* aight challenge accepted!

1- he’s 41

2- i’m 17

3- since he’s conducting a class half the time he has a loud-ish voice but speaks real quietly sometimes

4-  yasss he teaches me this year and has taught me for 4/5 of my high school years

5- yeahhhh kinda got fluffy hair its so cuuuute i’m all like i wanna touch iiiiit haha

6- well, he has his moments of both emotional but then cold, guess it depends on the day he’s having

7- errr well judging from his class sizes (i’m in a class of 7 this year and thats the same amount as 2 years ago), i don’t think people like taking the subject he teaches but i think he is quite popular

8- why i fell in love with him? looks and personality. Now to me looks were just a bonus because i don’t judge people by their appearance but there is no denying how hot he is like dayum XD but his personality, as crazy as it sounds, reminds me of myself. it has so many different aspects to it and it just makes him so unique to me and it amazes me to think that while i notice all the small details, no one or at least hardly any people would pick up on all the small extra things he says/does. And his eyes... I couldn’t help but fall for those sparkling blue eyes that take my breath away..

9- nooo sadly i don’t know his favourite colour but i’m betting its blue. i’ve teased him before saying it’s pink though and he went along with it, that was hilarious

10- music he likes? pfft as far as i know, it ranges quite a bit from all the songs he randomly ALWAYS hums during lessons

11- oh shit yeah J knows how i feel for him, i told him almost 4 years ago and i know he thinks about it sometimes and at first he went really distant from me and such (mind you i didn’t have a class with him that year) then when i was back in his class we grew closer again.

12- yeahhh you could say we have a kind of friendship i mean we always banter and fake argue and such. Also teasing eachother lightheartedly and making sarcastic comments to eachother. it’s so great

13- yup j has 3 chickens and a cat- we had this discussion last year

14- yupppp he’s... married :(((((

15- 2 kids :/

16- tall or short? well i’m short as fuck so basically anyone is taller than me haha but im 5′3 and when i stand next to him, my head is just above his shoulders so i suppose he isn’t much taller?

17- yahhh we have so many random conversations! ranging from dreams to where we live (don’t ask me why or how i did say random!) contemplations to what type of dog breed is the cutest, and so many others

18- does he have a nickname for me? not officially but he’s called me a variety of different things like his ‘little elf’, ‘the geography expert’, ‘’the diligence student’ and a few others :)

19- pfft i swear sometimes ‘teasing L’ is his main priority sometimes like i could do something ‘wrong’ as in not actually, and he’ll make a big deal about it and go on about it so i naturally retaliate and alas banters are born. it’s vice versa too sometimes i tease him about stuff and he goes to defend himself with a smartass comeback for me and more banters occur. i love it

20- yes all my friends know and annoyingly most of the school, teachers included, know like i never told many people apart from friends and i was extremely careful but somehow every fuckin person found out apparently. but i don’t care, its my final year so everyone can put up with it. 

Whew! there you go anon, all 20 questions answered, and all before i have to leave for school! 

[bambaooo]

this weekend actually wasnt that bad for being on call,

calls werent that bad, but it was still a chill weekend

arvin came down cause he was going to vb on saturday

mo came and chilled too.

it was nice just talking about old times and shit.

its been a while since it was me mo and arvin chillin

arvin slept on my floor that night

we ended up being up atil like 4-5 just talking like we always use to.

i honestly really miss those random ass late night talks with arvin, i still remember having those randoms talks when we lived at capital garage.

only slept like 3-4 hours cause im so used to waking up around 8 but it was w/e i didnt really feel that tired.

alex and arvin left to vb

and i went to the gym

lifted with kevin and some other barbell hommies.

like i hate talking to kevin about lifting outside of the gym but when im in the gym, fuck it its all about lifting

makes me remember back when we had the og liting crew we would be the biggest douchbags ever lol

i lowkey miss that, we would be the cockiest niggas in the gym, but we had our shit to back it up.

after that went back home and then eventually met up with jessica and flo.

we got lunch at a vegetarian resturaunt. 

i dont mind vegetarian food, i ended up getting a pizza

but it was pretty bomb.

and just chilled at the apartment

others came through and chilled too

it was honestly really nice being able to see jessica again.

i miss having her around, its always nice being about to talk about highschool shit with someone that knows what im talking about

she showed us a lot of wild af yoga poses she learned.

i can barely touch my toes, and shes doing shit on one leg and shit lol.

but yahh

today woke up, chilled for a bit and then grilled some steak and chiggin wingss.

i fucking loved grilled chicken wings.

and then just chilled until arvin and alex came back

afrah came back throgh to chill too

its always nice seeing him too, 

after everyone left i just folded my clothes and shit

and then just watched tv and now im here

going to north carolina next weekend,

should be fun, just an excuse to get drunk in another state lol

but yahhh.

im excited for thanksgiving to see my family and shit

and im tryna already look into what i need to buy on black friday.

gonna buy a lot of shit, cause i need a lot.

its gonna hurt my wallet but fuck it. 

but yahh

gnight.

[kpooper-writings]

《GOT7•JACKSON》 The Past is Better Left Behind Pt.4 (End) (A/T/F)

I DO NOT OWN THE GIF. CREDITS TO THE OWNER.

SUMMARY: Jackson Wang, your wild and sexy boyfriend finds out you were in an abusive relationship, ommo… what to do?! Read on to find out! WARNING!!! LONG STORY + TRIGGERING MATERIALS. please DO NOT read if you are sensitive to these type of topics and if your moods can be altered easily. Thank you!

Word Count: 1365

Read: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

Ringggg! Ringggg! Ringggg!~~~~ Your phone went off. Ahh… Seriously you thought.

You looked over to see that Jackson had been calling you nonstop for the past 10 minutes. It was almost a week. a week that you hadn’t called or text or even seen Jackson. It wasn’t that you were avoiding him. You had just been preparing yourself for the confession you were going to make to him about your horrid past.

Bbuing!~~~

You looked over back at your phone.

~NEW MESSAGE FROM JACKSON~

you opened up the text to see;

why arent you picking my calls?

you’re not doing anything stupid are you?

im coming over. be ready for me. because we have a lot of things to talk about whether you want to or not.

Seeing the last text, your stupid heart did a cartwheel. Jackson was coming over. You looked like crap though. Since the incident you had been crying yourself to sleep almost every night and you had lost your appetite. It was a miracle you hadn’t died from starvation.

Bbuing!~~~

~NEW MESSAGE FROM YUNA~

Are you ok? I saw Jackson earlier,

Why havent you returned my calls? xYuyu

Yahhh! Answer me! xYuyu

You sighed. You had been avoiding Yuna as well as the rest of the world. You knew that if Yuna was to see you in this state of mind she would go ballistic. You two had been through so much, she was like a sister from another mother. She had been there through the darkest times of your life… “I’m such a bad friend.. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this,” you thought.

DING DONG! The doorbell went off, you rushed to the door and before you could even unlocked the door, the door flew open and in front of you stood a wild out of breath Jackson. His eyes were red and he looked like he was about to throw a tantrum. “Jacks-” you got cutoff as Jackson pulled you into his arms. Slamming the door closed with his foot, he locked you into his embrace as he kissed you fiercely all over.

“Why Y/N, why. Why did you never tell me about Joonhyung,” Jackson’s voice broke at the end.

LORD. Yuna had told Jackson about Joonhyung. You had felt all happy and warm when Jackson first kissed you but at the mention of Joonhyung you frozed.

“J-Jackson…. How do you know Joonhyung….” you stuttered even though you knew it was Yuna who had spilled the beans to Jackson. That little bitch. Nevermind, she deserved the silent treatment.

“Yuna. I ran into her. But that doesnt matter, tell me what happened, tell me what that son of a bitch did to you,” he said as he held onto you tightly not wanting to let you go.

“I…. Joonhyung….”

Jackson carried you Romeo/Juliet style to your room and laid you down on your bed. He slid right next to you and pulled you into his chest. As you settled into his embrace, his masculine scent bathing you, he pleaded “Y/N, tell me. Please… I have to know.”

“Jackson. its not a happy story, please stop,” you said as you pushed him away. It was no use. He was twice your size and stronger than you. “Y/N, you stop. You need to tell me RIGHT NOW.”

Minutes passed as you tried to find the words to say….

“Okay…. I….” you began to murmur.

“He hit you didn’t he. He beat you up that asshole,” Jackson said with force.

“He did more than that,” you whispered. “Joonhyung was my senior mentor, we dated for 3 years… before I met you.”

“I know, so tell me all the things he did to you,” Jackson pressed on. “When was the first time he hit you, why?”

The tears streamed down your eyes as you tried to compose yourself and find your voice. “He.. The first time.. The first time was during the honors-awards. We were all getting a certificate for completing our clinical studies and that morning, before we were to head out, he asked me for a favor… he asked if we could… have sex….” you said.

You could hear the hitch in Jackson’s breathing. It was painful for him you knew, but he deserved to know.

“I wouldn’t let him touch me, I thought… why. Why couldn’t he wait until we were married or something. so he hit me.. Smacked me right across the face and punched me in the eyes. I had to wear so much concealer that day….” you reminisced.

“After that, I dont even remember the second or third time, because there were so many times that he hit me, if I didn’t do what he wanted he would hit me, if I didn’t do what he asked he would hit me… It was an endless cycle.”

Jackson pressed you into his chest as he could hear the strain in your voice.

“Whenever I tried to leave him, he would pull up threats and shit. I tried my best to stay with him though. I thought if I continue to love him and only do good, he would see my efforts and try to change. But no matter how nice I was and no matter what I did, he never saw my efforts and only continue to hit me and yell at me. He even got mad at me when Yuna and I were joking around about celebrity guys. When we got home, he yanked me by my hair like it was a collar and threw me against the wall. Then he repeatedly continue to hit me. He left after and said that he would never hit me but I’m just a hoe to him so it didn’t matter…. Yuna found me a couple days later alone in my then-apartment. She helped nurse me back to health and about a month later, Joonhyung came back trying to beg for forgiveness. Being the dumbass I was, I thought he really meant it so I accepted his apology. Little did I know that he was going to be more of a jerk than before. He moved back in with me and as time went by with our relationship, he started coming home late and not returning my calls whenever I called him. Turns out, he had been sleeping around with his co-worker and they were already engaged. He only came back to me to use me as a side-chick..His fiancé didn’t even know that I still existed in his life. He had told her I was history. So I showed up at his workplace, caused a scene and walked out of his life….” you scrambled to finish up the story.

“I’m so sorry. Why did you never tell me? Don’t you trust me Y/N?” Jackson asked.

“It’s all in the past, I worked so hard to forget about him and how to love myself. I thought I had healed when I met you. To you, I was so cheerful and happy, I never wanted to let you know my dark past… I didn’t want you to see my ugly scars and shit.” you whispered.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry that that happened, I wish I could go back in time and know you sooner. I would’ve beaten that guy up and shit. I’m just so happy I have you now. To the incident the other day…. Y/N, know that I would never hit you. You’re my life. I would never do anything to hurt you. I’m sorry I lost control, I’m sorry I gave you that impression. I’m so sorry, please forgive me my precious Jagi” Jackson asked.

“Of course Jackson, of course I forgive you, I was the one who was keeping secrets when I should’ve told you sooner, I shouldn’t have been so prideful and secretive. I’m sorry too,” you snuggled into his embrace feeling full and complete for the first time since forever.

“The past is better left behind. I understand, lets just live in the moment and for the future from now on. I love you Y/N,” Jackson said as he kissed your forehead.

“I love you too Jackson, thank you. For everything.”

~THE END~

[plumblackjeon]

Okay, first things first I thought I drop by and give you some love. 'Cause why the fuck not... and because i'm super mysterious I thought imma do it on anon cause you wont EVER KNOW WHO I AM!!! Lets go: I love you so much and i stan your talented cute ass *_*

Second: I think youre such a kind and wonderful person and I’m so glad to call you my friend. 

Third: Did I already mention how talented you are??? Like AMAZING? Your story was the first story I ever finished reading on tumblr, before that i was always bored out of my mind but then i found you and i was like HALLELUUUJAH HALLELUJAAAAAAH GIVE ME THAT KINKY RADIO CHAOS SHIT 

4th: I love how youre always sending me kinky stuff and I can talk to you about the weirdest stuff… you dont know how many times I laughed my ass off talking to you. 

5th: I love making you hate me…just by sending you Jimin gifs or whatsoever and you just answer with: “I hate you” and “go away”… “youre the devil in disguise” and shit like that. Yahhh I love you too, baby girl. 

6th: Yes i just called you baby girl… yeah you know you like that ;) 

7th: Youre just amazing and I know we’ve met in a dark moment in our lives and were both still not completely through it, but isnt it weird that since weve started talking I dont feel so alone anymore? :D I know im not alone in this shit and at least we both can laugh about it and just keep going. 

8th: I just realised that ive never saw a picture of you but in my head youre the most beaaaaaaaaautiful girl ever?!??!?!

9th: I’m so grateful to have you. Thank you for always being there for me. 

I love you, Jey aka the devil in disguise who likes to kill you but loves you to the moon and back.

You are unbelievable :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD and I loveyouloveyouloveyouloveyou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

kinky radio chaos shit hahahah :D I love you so much, and I was so lucky to meet you on here, you helped me so much, I hope you know that!!! and nothing would be the same without you!!!

but the ‘baby girl’ has got to go!!!! and you know why. :p

[perfectionistincrisis]

Day 37 (& 36,35,34,33 ..blabla)

Not much to tell.

It’s just that um. Yeah, things are different. Life is different. I am different.  I am not that familiar with this version of me and don’t know how much I am capable of. But I know that I got a lot weirder. I could hardly care or give a shit about most of the things. Ignorance is my best defense mechanism; I tend to ignore/ keep away things which get to me.  However, everything comes with a price. I get crazy crayyy crayyy zee cravings from time to time. Sometimes it’s food, sometimes it’s shopping. Sometimes it’s taking a perfect picture of food maybe, or of something. Idk. depends on situation os surroundings. Sometimes its looking for the perfect shoe online, and other times the perfect lipstick shade. Or other times its making a list of all the make up products I want to buy. Sometimes im deciding which mall to go to and when. Other times i am thinking which restaurant to go to and when. Sometimes in the most random way possible i start thinking of any specific food and crave it badly and almost feel its taste in my tongue, other times I am making decisions of how I will be eating healthy and making big lifestyle changes.  Sometimes thinking of how little minor details in life, the ways people interact, the comments people make, the way people look at you, the way you respond to someone, the feelings that are being expressed, the feelings that are being suppressed can mould a persons life in such different ways and affect someone so deeply.. thinking of it all draws tears to my eyes.. The world is a harsh place. We might consider ourselves as “human beings”; the civilized creatures but in reality.. I think there is not much difference. We are only a little better than animals who need to be “tamed”. Infact, even harder when we are the ones who need to tame ourselves because everyone is damaged in their own way. No one is perfect, no one was taught how to survive life. Its like you were dumped on earth and you need to figure things out for yourself but hey that’s kind of okay once you know that this is what youre supposed to do. But what about those people who think they are doing right. Who think it is okay to be exactly the way they are now. Hahaha, I guess I sound like I am angry with humans lol. But nah, I dont really care tbh. Now this would be a lie maybe in the past where I would just be “trying” to not care, but now! I actually dont! but that doesnt mean I can totally ignore bullshit happening in this world. but yeah, it doesnt really get to me so much! Anyways, moving on. So yeah! How i survive. Well at times I kind of lose it and get really attached to materialistic/ worldly luxuries! Like i-neeed- to buy this. I -need- to go there. I -need- to eat this. Sometimes it is posting a pic on instagram, where life is so sugarcoated and nice. I have been working on it for a long time. I really have a thing for taking pics of food mostly or other things or myself and when I pick some of them, and put them together and theres a chronological order being maintained to some extent. Just scrolling through it, your life flashes in front of you to an extent. Its nice.  Now one might think that i could do the same scrolling through my gallery too but theres a difference. First, since i am a person who is a sucker for taking pics, my gallery is overloaded! Back in high school, my pictures wouldnt just take up the whole of my gallery but also would fill up my friends’ phones too! they would literally have way more pics of me than their own selves. But the difference is that id chose pics which i would want to upload, which are okay to be shared. Btw its not really like i upload my -best- pics. most of the times it is one of the average ones. As much as i would like sharing ‘dark’ parts of me, I am also not comfortable sharing good ones all the time. well anyways, so yeah thats enough about pics i suppose lol i can go on talking all day wow ‘-’

Okay then there’s me having this strong urge to eat something, or go shopping and buy something and all of that. How i deal with that? well sometimes it really gets on my nerves and that is bad. And then i realize i am diverting my aims in life and yeah that is pretty much it. I just get my mind to think straight and I am fine for some time. it sounds really simple yeah, but its really really bothering when i crave for anything! like it really gets to me to really extreme levels. its all i think of and i cant concentrate or do anything peacefully. but when i get back to my senses, everythings fine again.

This was just one side of things. There is another side to. This one’s easy! I sleep. or just sit and do nothing. When i say nothing i mean it. Its not like i am on my phone and im going through every social media app scrolling on and on and doing nothing. its not like i am sitting on my laptop and doing nothing. It notttttt! When i say doing nothing i mean it. Nothing. I am just sitting with no gadgets, nothing. No i am not even lost in deep thoughts about anything. Like i said, ignorance is my escape. I just dont care enough to get to do something, anything. So i end up sleeping! And except for pee breaks, i can sleep for hours and hours like wow! this was so not me lol! I actually didnt like sleeping so much, well not like i like it now. I mean yeah i do sleep a lot but not because i like it. I am neutral, there is nothing it like about it and i might have hated it earlier but now i dont hate it either. I mean before i used to think there is so much to lose of people keep sleeping all day. Well right now I still have the same idea but i mean at this phase in life right at this moment, for me, there isnt much I am losing while sleeping so its ok. 

So yeah, those are the two extremes i keep shifting between! extreme cravings for the weirdest things followed by letting go of all this materialistic desires/ urges and getting my thoughts clean! Or doing literally nothing, not caring at all, ignoring anything and everything and sleeping! 

Um well thats it. Now before finishing up there are two things I wanted to point out! 

One is that my food cravings dont really have anything to do with the fact that its Ramadan, because I havent fasted a day yet. i mean food was always important to me. It helps me deal with things both mentally and emotionally since always.. Same as spending money on shopping! 

And the other thing I wanted to point out is him.  There is nothing new i can tell about him. just that he is always on my mind. Always. To keep it short, its like the ONLY  thing that has changed is that we dont talk. AND that is a big big big thing. but that is the only thing. That is how i feel! And since it is a big big big big thing (way bigger than all the bigs I put in there) it s not cool! But idk  I just miss telling him how much i love him.. Okay i was never a person who was into ‘telling’ that cause i really really believe that actions speak louder way louder than words when it comes to those 3 words -i-love-you- but yeah! that doesnt mean id be cool if someone would just act it out and not tell me so lol.  And yeah so its the same right now. I mean i really feel like I would never fail in acting out my love for him. I am  just that certain and aware of how much he means to me. So yeah, that is why i said. that i miss telling him so. that i love him.. I miss being able to do so.. Ummm yahhh So that’s it! Pretty long post ik but kinda making up for the extremely tiny mini posts for the last few days but yeah i pretty much covered what is going on with me this whole time so yeah!  :) 

[fairyfairypie]

Tagged by @fadeslikewhispers!! Thank you <3

Rules: bold what applies to you

I am 5′7″ or taller (no way) I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing (i wish but im afraid of needles) I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair (nooooo i hate having short hair) My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or have had braces (my teeth r still p straight tho) There is something I would change about the way I look (def)

Personality:

My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw or Slytherin I am an introvert I like meeting new people (depends on the situation) Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy mental challenges (again depends on what kind of challenge) I’m playfully rude with people I know well (lmaooooo) I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it There is something I would change about my personality

Abilities:

I can sing well (noopee) I can play an instrument (noppeee) I can do over 30 push-ups without stopping (not even close) I’m a fast runner (lol what) I can draw well  I have a good memory (only if i care abt the subject a lot) I’m good at doing math in my head  I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (is this even possible?how) I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling (my arm strength is super sad @ruyi knows) I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch (with a recipe and a friend yes) I know how to throw a proper punch (noo)

Hobbies:

I enjoy playing sports (volleyball and swimming yes, any other ones no) I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (syncro!! @yolkygoblin) I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else (not anymore but i was in band in elementary school) I have learned a new song in the past week (idk learned,,but i def listened to some new songs in the last week change by rm&wale lol) I work out at least once a week  I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month (a lot of stuff in class) I enjoy writing (meh) Fandoms are my #1 passion (yea) I do or have done martial arts (i hated karate)

Experiences:

I have had my first kiss  I have had alcohol (yea but like just a little sip) I have scored the winning goal in a sports game (probably some game in pe at least once, right? idek) I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting (more than once) I have been at an overnight event (do sleepovers count) I have been in a taxi (China is 80% taxi) I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country (a lot of other countries) I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts (nah,,)                

Relationship:

I’m in a relationship I have a celebrity crush (lolol not quite a crush but i like seungri from bigbang a ton,,,) I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily (not rlly crushes but more like i rlly like a lot of ppl) I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend (no??literally never?all of my friends have always been my friends srry)

My life:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” (yahhh) I live close to my school  My parents are still together I have at least one sibling (unfortunately) I live in the United States (near Washington DC!) There is snow right now where I live (a bit left over from weeks ago) I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month (i mean,,,i had syncro tryouts today) I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone (thankfully no)        

Random shit:

I have breakdanced (i wanna learn how to tho!! it looks super cool) I know a person named Jamie I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce (dont we all) I have dyed my hair (i wish i could) I’m listening to one song on repeat right now (change lol) I have punched someone in the past week (i cant even punch lmao) I know someone who has gone to jail (not that i know of??) I have broken a bone (i jumped off of a baby slide in kindergarten) I have eaten a waffle today (i ate a donut tho!!) I know what I want to do with my life (i wish) I speak at least 2 languages fluently (no but,,,i can understand chinese and i can speak a bit of spanish so idk,,) I have made a new friend in the past year (a lot of new friends!)

I’m tagging @ruyi, @nyakuya-togameow, @harleyquinn1234, @imsurroundedbyidiots553, and anybody who wants to do this!