#im excited for the baby so i can play with infants
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starsjulia · 2 days ago
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baby fever // alexia putellas
a/n : maybe it’s because i’m ovulating, but i feel like im having withdrawals from my child (i don’t have a child)
warnings : none!!
“Alexia,” you said, flopping onto the couch dramatically, your phone clutched in one hand. “Look at this baby. Look. Isn’t this proof we should have one?”
She glanced up from her iPad, one brow raised. “That’s the fifth baby you’ve shown me today.”
“Because they’re soooo cute! And we could have one!” You shoved the phone under her nose, showing her a TikTok of a giggling infant in a tiny onesie. “Imagine our baby. They’d have your eyes, my—”
Alexia cut you off with an amused smirk. “We’ve talked about this, cariño.”
“No, you’ve talked about logistics,” you shot back, sitting cross-legged beside her. “I’ve talked about how I want a baby, like, yesterday.”
She sighed, setting the iPad down. “I’m not saying no. I’m saying it’s a big decision. And with everything we have going on—your work, my schedule—it’s not the right time.”
“Then I’ll carry!” you declared, your voice rising with excitement. “You can keep playing, and I’ll do all the hard parts. It’s perfect!”
Alexia blinked at you, her eyes narrowing slightly. “You’ve… really thought about this, haven’t you?”
“For months,” you said earnestly, grabbing her hand. “I don’t care about logistics or timing. I just know I want to do this with you.”
Her gaze softened, but there was still hesitation. “I’m not against it, amor. I just want to make sure we’re ready. Both of us.”
You groaned, flopping backward into her lap. “If you won’t listen to me, I’ll get backup.”
Alexia frowned. “What does that mean?”
————————
It meant enlisting Mapi and Ingrid.
“Finally!” Mapi said when you brought up your idea at training. She threw her hands in the air dramatically. “I’ve been telling Alexia for years she needs to let loose a little. Having a baby is perfect.”
“Right?” you said, clutching Mapi’s arm. “Imagine her as a mamá. So nurturing, so responsible—”
“And terrifying,” Mapi added, smirking. “Disciplining kids with that captain energy? Iconic.”
Ingrid chimed in from beside her. “Honestly, we’re on board. Do it, and we’ll be the godparents.”
“You’d have to fight Mariona for it,” you teased.
Mapi scoffed, draping an arm over Ingrid’s shoulder. “Please. I’m already the cool tía. It’s a done deal.”
Ingrid smiled softly, giving you a nudge. “Besides, we think you’re for perfect carrying the baby. You’re already glowing just talking about it.”
“You get it,” you said dramatically, pointing at Ingrid like she’d solved world hunger. “Why can’t Alexia see it?”
“Oh, she does,” Mapi said knowingly. “She’s just pretending to be logical about it. She’ll come around. Trust me.”
—————————
The breakthrough came at a team barbecue, thanks to Ingrid and Mapi’s nephew, little Liam, who’d stolen your heart the moment you met him.
“You’re so perfect,” you cooed, holding him close as he gurgled in your arms. “The cutest baby ever.”
Across the yard, Alexia watched you from a distance. Mapi elbowed her lightly, smirking. “You’re staring, capi. You look like you’re about to cry.”
“I’m not crying,” Alexia muttered, though her gaze softened as she watched you bounce Liam gently.
“You’re thinking about it, though,” Ingrid said, stepping up beside them.
Alexia sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I just—”
“You’re overthinking,” Mapi interrupted. “Classic Alexia. Look, you’re already a leader. A protector. It’s who you are. Being a mom? You’d be incredible. And (Y/N)? She’s ready. You can see it in her face.”
Alexia didn’t answer, but her thoughtful expression spoke volumes.
Later, as you cradled Liam, Alexia finally approached.
“Look at him,” you said, smiling as Liam giggled and reached for her. “He’s perfect. And soon, he’ll have a little friend. Isn’t that right, Ale?”
Alexia raised a brow. “What?”
“Our baby!” you explained, beaming. “He’s gonna have a friend, and they’ll grow up together, and it’ll be so cute.”
Alexia reached out hesitantly, letting Liam grab her finger. She froze, visibly melting at the tiny hand gripping hers. Mapi and Ingrid exchanged smug looks from across the yard.
Alexia sighed, her voice quiet. “You’re really not letting this go, are you?”
“Not a chance,” you said, grinning. “Come on, Ale. Let’s do it. I’ll carry, you’ll be the hot football mum, and Mapi and Ingrid are already fighting to be the godparents.”
“We’re winning,” Mapi called from nearby, raising a beer.
Alexia laughed softly, shaking her head. “Fine.”
Your eyes widened. “Wait. Fine?”
“Yes,” she said, smiling at your stunned expression. “But we’re doing this properly. No rushing.”
“Whatever you say, mamá,” you teased, setting Liam in his stroller before throwing your arms around her. “Let’s go make a baby!”
“That’s… not how it works,” she said, pulling back slightly.
“Oh, right,” you said, blushing. “I knew that.”
Her laughter was warm as she leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “I can’t wait to see you glowing, amor. And for the record… Mapi and Ingrid are not automatically the godparents.”
“We’ll see about that!” Mapi shouted, earning another laugh from both of you.
As Alexia’s hand rested gently on your stomach, you knew everything was about to change. But for the first time, it felt like a change you were both ready for.
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florwal · 8 months ago
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yeah some people are just mean cause they can, you've done so much and you don't owe anything to anyone
+ i'm so happy you've been enjoying jut playing the game for yourself, i've just cleaned all my mods folder (don't ask how.) and planning to fell in love again with the game that i've been loving since i was 10 😭
if you wanna share some pics of what you're doing i'm super curious, but if you dont: just fuck them all 💋💋💋💋💋💋 kisses and hugs
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i’ve been trying to play the complete opposite of what i normally would but i’m actually enjoying it a lot! i just cleaned my mods folder too it was A CHORE
the dad erik is a construction worker and he’s into all the outdoorsy stuff. he goes fishing a lot. he has the goofball trait and tries to be “the cool dad.” because in my head the parents were in the grunge/alternative scene when they were younger
the mom vivienne is a freelance writer and to make things easier for me she has the family oriented/neat traits because erik is a slob and makes the house dirty as fuck and i feel bad cuz she is ALWAYS cleaning up after him but their marriage is going great and they never fight so ? she seems happy to do it i guess lmao
they have a teenage daughter named bristol that’s super angsty and has the live fast aspiration from hsy so she sneaks out and gets into trouble at school a lot. she has a crush on her best friend marjane who’s been having a stay over at the house for a sims week so i’m like 👀 waiting to see if any autonomous romance will happen with them BUT bristol also has a crush on another girl from school so idk which one i want her to go to prom with and it’s stressing me out!!!
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aridridge · 2 years ago
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the creator of my favorite default skinblend hasn’t updated their blog since 2021 what are the chances it gets updated for infants ❤️‍🩹
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pantheresssy · 4 months ago
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CONQUERING.
—┊⋆ summary: you were a little bit older, who was looking for it? if you have a daughter too, who would care? paige didn’t until she was face to face with a overprotective 7-years-old little you.
—┊⋆ cw: r is on 30s and paige 22s, you also have a daughter, no smut this time only fluff, p is so sweet and i brought this here with ur baby, her name’s kayla btw just thought about it after reading a kk fic.
this is something im experiencing to see if anyone would like and want more of this dynamic.
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IF SOMEONE told Paige that she would be sitting on a couch nervously cleaning her hands on her pants, all because of a 7-years-old child, she would laugh. It seemed weird, someone with her height, a basketball player, be afraid of someone so little that could cause no harm — but she was your daughter, a little you. That should frighten the toughest of the fighters.
On court, she was relaxed as if she was on her bed, but there, she was sweating while looking at the stairs you went up. You told her that your daughter’s opinion had so many value for you, and that was one of the — many — things that frightened her. If she didn’t like Paige, everything could go down. And that was the last thing she wanted to happen.
“Mommy,” she heard and swallowed. Little footsteps came along with yours, and the pink boots was the first thing she saw. Up close, she was more you than yourself was. From the hair to the nose, it was like a printer had made that child, even her voice was like yours, soft spoken, but in a more infant way.
Paige’s eyes followed up the girl’s extended arm, her hand being held by yours. She found your gaze and you raised your eyebrows, a sign for her to calm down. The words she was saying stopped when you bent down by her side, your cheek against your daughter’s. “Kayla, that’s Paige. The friend I told you about.”
The blonde smiled, nervously. Kayla looked at her up and down, as if she was a grown adult, and that was the most cutest, yet the most scary, ㅤׁthing. “Hi,” she said after analyzing Paige meticulously.
“Hey.” You brought her closer and sat by Paige’s side, the girl on your lap. With her nervousness, you were sure she would pass out in the middle of your couch. “I’m Paige.”
Your daughter shocked her head, humming. “I know. Mommy told me you were a basketball player.”
“I am.”
Kayla made a pout, lowering her eyes to your hands joined in her belly, taking one of your fingers to play with it. “I like volleyball more.”
You ran your hand through her hair and bit your lip to hold your laugh. You knew she was only doing that to know how Paige would react, to know if she could really like her. It was an old trick she used to know if someone was cool enough. “Yeah. K loves volleyball.” it was an attempt to help, but it fell into deaf ears.
Paige sat on her side, facing you. Her blue eyes passed to you, then back to Kayla. “It’s great.” she cleared her throat and kept looking for words. “Will you want to play one day?”
Your daughter made a face, shaking her head no. “I want to make movies.” she took your nail and started to remove removing your nail polish with hers. “Like mommy.”
Paige frowned her eyebrows. “She found a thing that I did when I was a teen and thought that it was a movie.” you kissed her ear, making her laugh. “But it was just a silly video.”
Her eyebrows were raised in surprise, but you dismissed it shrugging. “Why do you play basketball?” Kayla asked.
“I like it since I was younger than you.” Kayla’s eyes shone and she blinked, trying to pretend she wasn’t interested. “I started to play when I was five.”
Your daughter frowned her eyebrows, and Paige almost laughed of how much she was like you doing that. “Your mom let you do it?”
“My dad did.”
You could see that she was getting more excited to know everything and started to make more questions, in which Paige responded happily. You were sitting quiet, only observing while she talked about how she always can get the basket right.
When you first told Kayla that you had a famous friend and that she wanted to meet her, she quickly went to your phone and searched for Paige’s name — with some wrong letters of her non writing hands. She saw pictures, videos, anything that pops up when you put ‘Paige Bueckers’ on google. You knew that her interested was bigger than she showed, but she wanted that Paige conquered her to know if she was cool enough to be your friend. It wasn’t a common thing, but you were just letting it happen this time.
The talk kept going and you saw the blonde relaxing little by little, Kayla getting more open to talk and leaving aside her play pretend.
Her being just like you was a blessing and a curse. As a child, you were always asking so many questions, and she was doing too. But she had something you didn’t had when you were younger: a better perspective. So when, in the middle of the talk about basketball, she raised her head on your chest, looking at you from below, you imagined that she would say anything but what you tried not to make so obvious.
“Mommy is she your girlfriend?”
Your eyes widened and your breath cached on your throat. Paige was getting whiter — she was going sick right in front of your eyes and in seconds. Kayla was still looking at you waiting for answers while you sent looks of concern to the woman by your side. “Baby …” you started. “We are-“
But then it died before you could finish. She took your words as a yes before you could actually say it. “She is!?” her feet shook and she jumped on your legs, her head hitting your chin, your teeth making a bad noise when the ones below met the top ones hard. You moaned and put your tongue on your gums, trying to find any injury. “I’m sorry.”
Kayla’s eyes quickly filled with tears and she hugged your neck, burring her face there. You rubbed her back comforting her when hiccups shook her small body. “It’s ok, baby.”
Paige swallowed hard and checked if you were okay, still stunned, and you reassured her that you were. Her hand copied yours on Kayla. With a shared look, you told her she could say it. “Your mother and I like each other very much, K.” she said. “Would you let me be her girlfriend?”
The little girl sniffed and said, stuffing: “You should ask mom, not me.”
Paige laughed, shaking her head even though Kayla couldn’t see it. “I already did and she said yes, but we wanted you to agree. What you think is important.”
“Yes.”
Her sadness vanished just like that and she quickly went back to talking, asking Paige how she started — and if things kept that way, she quickly would stop wanting do movies. When both got more excited, Kayla made Paige held her in her arms, making an improvised basket with a bucket she hung on the wall, raising her to hit there with the ball. After getting it right, she would celebrate loud, saying that she was better than the blonde. And Paige never dared to disagree.
Later, when Kayla fall sleep after talking so much and with a sigh of relief from you, Paige and you sat on the couch, your back against her front and your fingers crossed with hers. “She liked you. A lot.”
She kissed your head and smelled your hair. ‘I’m happy she does. I almost shit on my pants.”
You laughed loud, closing your mouth when you remembered Kayla. She didn’t wake up so easily, specially not after spend so much energy, but you rather not risk it. “She’s 7, Paige Bueckers.”
She shrugged. “It’s your daughter, she has a lot of you in her … I’d like to not risk anything.”
You turned around and kissed her, sighing as she put more pressure on you. “You won’t. You conquered her just like you did to me.” you held her cheeks on your hand.
“I know.”
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eggsnatcheskneecaps · 2 years ago
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i have a question ab transformers and im too scared to google it bc of what i think ill find but is there anything in canon that tells you if transformers reproduce??? and like how? do they have some sort of build-a-baby or smth??? sorry i know its late and this is absurd but its been plaguing mind for 4h now and i had to ask
Fjgng you're right to be afraid of what you'll find. There... Is a sea of fics out there.
The fandom has an extremely well curated Wikipedia, so if you're up for something more in depth, read through this article or browse through other ones.
Anyway, this is an excuse to ramble about Transformers >:) but I'll give you info on just the medias I've consumed, or know enough of.
The answer more broadly, there are cannon forms of reproduction, not sexual, per say, but the Transformers writers have a. Well. Long and weird relationship with Cybertronians having sex and especially pregnancies (yeah, you heard me right-)
To start off:
1. In one of the really old TF comics, we have a couple formed of a human woman (Cover Girl) and Brawn. They are married and also, they have a child. ...the child is not adopted. I don't if it's stated how they got there, but y'know.
2. In Beast Wars, we get protoforms.
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In multiple continuities, they are basically the first stage in a robot's life. Kind of like infants. All they need is a spark (soul) and alt mode code (what they transform into) in order to develope into a fully grown Cybertronian.
The weird thing with this tho, is that you'll have characters such as Cheetor, who have been here from the start, and they'll be treated like the teenager of the group (although he IS the child appeal character), but then you'll see the ones who come along later, such as Silverbolt, who are immediately treated as an adult with full agency. Sigh.
But that's not all on reproduction in this show.
You have Rattrap at some point talk about... Bars on their home planet where waitresses walk around tits out, basically.
There are also some sex jokes, if I remember correctly. The femme fatale character takes a rod to cut it, her boyfriend cringes, and another one calls her emasculating.
For less cannon stuff that still sprung out of here; the official artists who worked on the show made a 3D render of Dinobot (main character) with... Dinobot Jr. Out on full display.
Also, at some point during the show production, someone decided to play a prank on someone else in the studio by submitting a pornographic parody of the episode script they should have originally given. Why does the fandom know this? It was leaked way back in the day before the episode aired.
Anyway, can you imagine being some poor fool thinking you're getting some exciting leaks to read and instead you get smacked with porn of the character who's literally inspired after Hannibal Lecter- also he transformers into a crab.
3. In Transformers Animated, protoforms make another return.
They basically work about the same way as they do in Beast Wars, except this time, we get Sari.
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She's a protoform that somehow landed on earth, and her father, a human, touched it, which caused her to imprint on his DNA and become a hybrid.
In this show we also get several instances of objects being hit by the power of a Cybertronian relic, and making them come to life. Now, I don't know if they count as Cybertronians, since they are random ass earth objects, but they have a consciousness. Also, the same relic has been shown to be able to bring back Transformers from the dead. So.
...........
Ok. So. I received this ask forever ago, I'm so sorry for not getting to it. I've gotten busy and I can unfortunately feel my cognitive dysfunction kicking in, so I'll try to just get this done, but it'll be less detailed from now on and kinda disjointed.
Plus I was a while into writing this part and I lost the progress-
So. IDW1. The comics. They are a mess and weird.
Also, I read these years ago and I don't really remember the details.
You have hot spots on the home planet or moon. That create sparks (from the ground). Sparks can also pop out from Cybertronian relics, such as The Matrix.
Titans (HUUUUUUGE Cybertronians. They turn into cities or battle ships) may also carry hotspots that make robo babies.
Sparks harvested from this sort of thing either become cold constructs or forged. I'm not going to go into technicalities, but basically cold constructs are sparks who were taken and placed in a premade body and forged were allowed to develope naturally. If they are having trouble, a blacksmith may help them along by shaping their body. Or so I recall, at least.
I think I remember a mention in the comics about "A turbofox in heat". Turbofoxes are Transformers animals.
IDW1 also... Sports a lot of allusions to pregnancies. And. Pregnancies in general.
A lot of metaphors for pregnancies. Character is in a coma for 9 months. Another one gets a body upgrade and the entire thing is reminiscent of birth- an actual Cybertronian being mpreg with an organic alien------
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^btw there was no narrative significance for this last one to happen
And. One of the main writers had... two? fanfics before he started writing cannon works. Telefunken and Eugenesis. Robots giving birth- to be fair, from their chests, from what I've heard. But the entire thing. It's. It's yeah.
Now!
IDW2.
Kiddies pop out of the ground. They are given one or two mentors. Mentors help them along to find what they want to transform into and their future jobs.
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Earthspark, the Nickelodeon show, has come out pretty recently and I haven't watched it, but I think it has 3 robot kids as main characters! From what I know, they also popped out of the ground, except this time on Earth.
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^also this one is canonically non binary sob
Transformers: Prime
I thiiiiiink they say Cybertronians pop out of The Well Of All Sparks? Which is a hole in their planet. Don't remember it being explored much. In the movie, a bunch of sparks fly out of it by the end, but I think it was a sort of- everybody gets revived! Yay!
The live action movies. Are also. Trippy
The ones directed by Micheal Bay are shit, but I gotta talk about them. You've got robots being sexual and creepy. But you also have sparklings. They pop out of goo eggs- I don't remember if in these movies energon or other relics posses and bring to life - I think they do tho.
However, that's an occurrence in the Bumblebee movie.
PS: I thought I posted this before I was done and I had a heart attack
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justsomegalwhoshere · 3 years ago
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Daddy’s Small Hero
Note: I’m back with another dad Bakugou fic bitches 😎 this time it’s Baku with an absolute chonk of a baby. Again, this entire thing was inspired by @hanji-is-life and the people who sent the amazing asks there. I can’t stop, they’re so good 😩 also idk how fast a baby’s development is. My little sister was a baby but that’s was 11 years ago- Criticism is welcome as always.
Warnings: cursing cuz bakugou, but just fluff overall. Not prof read
‘Had to go to the hospital quickly for an appointment! Katsumi and Sakura are at school already. Take Katsuo with you to the agency please!
-Y/N <3’
Bakugou sighed as he put down the note and headed to the living room where his son was. He woke up and was surprised to see you weren’t there in bed with him, and was only even more surprised he saw his son was awake in his playpen doing his thing. After finding the note tacked on the fridge however, he understood the situation.
Bakugou looked into the playpen and smiled. His son Katsuo. He looked exactly like his dad, ash blonde hair, red eyes, and an absolute monster of a baby. It’s not that he cried a lot, in fact he hardly cried at all. He was just extremely chunky. He was in 6 month clothes at 3 months old. He was a chunky baby, a chubby tummy and rolls on his arms and legs. Hell, he even had rolls for knees! He was currently in toddler clothes at 10 months old and was trying to shove his fat fist in his mouth. He took notice of his dad and started making grabby hands up at him.
Bakugou chuckled. “Hey squirt, ready to start the day?” His son gurgled.
Bakugou lifted his son up with a soft grunt. “Jesus, did you grow overnight? You get heavier every day.” His baby slapped a drool covered hand on bakugou’s cheek. “..I deserved that.”
After strapping on the baby carrier and putting Katsuo in front of chest, he began making breakfast. Starting with Katsuo’s. Sure, it was time consuming making breakfast for his infant son, but he refused to let him eat that processed shit from the store. Bakugou placed a strawberry and a banana on the counter. He wasn’t sure why he did this, but he let his son choose what fruit he wanted in his breakfast. He read somewhere it was good for development. “K, choose one brat,” he said softly. Katsuo stared before grabbing at the strawberry. “Good choice,” Bakugou responded before dropping a few strawberries in the blender and starting his breakfast. The entire time, he stirred up conversation with Katsuo.
“So what did you dream about last night?”
“Da!”
“You fought Endeavour himself and won?”
“Ba-da-ba!”
“No shit, what did you do after?”
“Baaab.”
“Nice. I’ll make note of that the next time I train then.”
After a quick breakfast and a diaper change, Katsuki made his way to the agency, baby bag in hand. It should be ok to take Katsuo today. All he had was paperwork and an interview. Katsuki didn’t want just ANYONE working for him. He needed to make sure those who were hired were reliable people. Bakugou stopped in front of the building and addressed his son in the harness, “this is where daddy works. He runs his own agency. Isn’t that cool?” Katsuo blew a little raspberry.
Almost all eyes were on Bakugou as he entered the building. They went from neutral to confused seeing a drooly baby harnessed on the pro hero’s chest, and even more confused seeing a baby bag in hand.
Ignoring all the prying eyes, Bakugou approached Kirishima, who also was gawking at the baby in the harness.
“What? It’s not a fucking alien, get a hold of yourself.” Kirishima’s eyes snapped back up and looked at Bakugou. He put a hand behind his head sheepishly. “Sorry, I’m just not used to seeing you with your son that often.”
“Hah!? Are you calling me a terrible dad?” Bakugou questioned as his eyebrows furrowed more.
“No! Just drop it, look the candidate for receptionist is already with the interviewer. Just make it quick, ok? And don’t send them running away in tears!” Kirishima called out as Bakugou grunted and walked towards his office. Bakugou stopped in front of his office door and addressed his son once again,
“This is daddy’s office. You excited to step inside?”
“Aa!”
“Well, today I am too.” Bakugou opened the door and saw some interviewer extra behind his desk and a female sitting across from it.
“Ah, you’re here Mr. Bakugou! Please, take a seat!” The interviewer chirped. Bakugou sat down in a chair on the side of the desk and unclasped the harness. He set Katsuo on a sitting position on the desk and dumped some toys there for his son. Katsuo took a chunky plastic block and immediately began to chew on it.
The female blinked. “Umm… is the baby staying here the entire time?”
Bakugou growled lowly. “He has a fucking name. It’s Katsuo. And yes, he is. That a fucking problem?”
“N-no, im sorry sir,” she replied as Katsuo cooed.
“Let’s get this started. What’s your name?” Bakugou said, calming down.
The female cleared her throat. “Akane, sir.”
The interview went along fairly smoothly, Akane answered the questions well and seemed reliable enough to work here, Bakugou noted as he played a bit with Katsuo. Still, Bakugou needed more convincing. He didn’t need another receptionist crying into his coffee cup in the mornings. The more the interview progressed, the more impatient Bakugou became.
“Can we hurry this shit up? It’s almost tummy time for Katsuo!” Bakugou barked. Both Akane and the interviewer jumped at the sudden outburst.
“Sorry Dynamight sir, just one more question and we’ll be done here.”
Bakugou huffed and put Katsuo on his lap, who was trying to shove the block in Bakugou’s face. He chuckled. “Stop that shit, that’s fucking gross, wasn’t it in your mouth?” Katsuo gurgled in response, still shoving the drool covered block in his dad’s face. Akane was distracted at this display. Dynamight, the number 2 pro hero, softening for someone? She didn’t think it was possible. Bakugou looked back up, scowling as he realized no one was talking. “The fuck are you looking at?” He growled at Akane.
Akane yelped and cleared her throat. “N-nothing! Just- just looking around” she said hurriedly as she straightened herself.
Bakugou squinted his eyes and looked down at his son. “What do you think of her, Katsuo?”
Katsuo was currently transfixed on shoving two chubby fingers in his own mouth. Once he finally did babble again, he slapped his thighs while bouncing up and down, making “da” sounds over and over. Akane thought the display was cute before Bakugou spoke up again.
“My son says you’re a terrible liar and that you’re on thin fucking ice.”
Akane shivered a bit. She was going to be here a while longer, wasn’t she?
A few more exchanges like that back and forth (Katsuo cooing and bakugou interpreting as a a threat), the interview finally ended.
Akane slumped on the wall outside the door and slowly sat herself down. God, that went terribly! She kept getting distracted by the baby! There was no way she was getting this job! She blew it-
Her thoughts were interrupted by a high pitched laugh. Akane registered it was coming from the office. Silently, she got up and peered through the door, which was slightly ajar.
Bakugou was blowing raspberries on his baby’s stomach while Katsuo laughed hysterically. Akane stood there dumbfounded. She never thought Bakugou was the fatherly type. Bakugou kept doing this and laughed along with the baby until he put them down in a sitting position. “Alright brat, it’s tummy time,” he grumbled as he spread a blanket on the desk and laid his son down on the blanket, back facing the ceiling. His son thrashed his limbs around a bit before calming down. Bakugou chuckled and pulled a couple toys out of his bag and settled them around Katsuo. His son tried moving around to grab the toys, cooing all the while.
Akane left before she was noticed. She was confused by this secret side of Bakugou.
Despite her doubtful thoughts earlier, Akane managed to land the job as the receptionist at Bakugou’s agency. She liked talking to the people she met everyday, and even met his wife a couple times.
Akane was typing away and noticed someone approaching from the corner of her eye.
“Hello, Mrs. Bakugou! How are you?”
You looked at Akane and smiled, carrying your son. “I’m just fine, thank you! I’m just wondering where Katsuki is!”
“Right here,” a gruff voice responded. Both females turned around and saw the hero approaching both of them.
You gave your husband a kiss and handed him Katsuo and a box wrapped in cloth.
“You forgot your lunch again, I’m starting to believe you’re doing it on purpose” you scolded.
Bakugou laughed and pecked your cheek. “I might start doing it intentionally if I get to see my beautiful wife and son more often at work.”
Akane observed this exchange before Katsuo turned his head towards her, looking at her with wide red eyes and made grabby hands that Bakugou paid no kind to. Akane, however, shivered and turned back towards the computer, typing more feverishly. Those red eyes that looked exactly like his father’s creeped her out ever since that interview. Sure, Katsuo was adorable, but what came out of his mouth was scary.
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dreamrecorder · 4 years ago
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Family in the Inn
Wherein Verr adopts Xiao and how he got you as a sibling.
The idea was from here ksks---- also this is quite long | Part hc part trad, Im not even sure anymore hahaha it’s just- siblings are a wholesome concept and there are so much things to add i dont know what to do haha Enjoy~
After a night full of battles against the demons lurking Liyue, Xiao struggled to keep the corruption in him at bay. He was losing his mind in pain as the screams continue to persist both in volume and their harsh words. He needed to get away from here. From the bodies that was slain by his very hands. He wanted to go away to somewhere safe.
It was an unconscious thought- out of nowhere, Xiao just teleported himself into whatever place he thought was safe and crash landed into familiar wooden floorboards.
The crash was loud- enough for visitors of the inn to rouse awake. Luckily, Verr and Huai'an were quick to reassure them that they are safe.
Verr Goldet was first to arrive in their balcony and what she saw tore her heart.
As if a mother to a child, she quickly rushed to the adeptus whose body writhed to himself while shaking violently. Verr didn't care about the malicious energy emanating from Xiao- she just went to his side and cradled what she can of him.
Normally, Xiao would instantly get away from any form of touch, but he was too weak and too tired- so he let her be.
Verr began singing lullabies as she wiped his tears away, hoping to ease his pain even just for tonight.
The lullabies- they were soothing. Moments passed, his shaking lessened along with the dark mist covering his body. Xiao merely focused on Verr's lullabies- clinging to the innocent words the lullabies carry as if hoping that they would take all his pain away.
And they really did- the way the she cradled him was very reminiscent of how a mother cradled a child. She didn't care if her clothes were now damp from his tears. She kept singing until finally, Xiao finally slept with a genuine peace gracing his face.
And that is how Xiao finds himself seeing Verr as a mother and how Verr finds Xiao as a son. Always know that this inn will be your home with someone who cares for you.
~~~
The following day came and Xiao finds himself in his room, waking up to the sunlight filtering from the window. By the bedside, the innkeeper sleeps with arms crossed. As if waiting for him to wake up. Even if he sees Verr now in a new light, Xiao still decides that he does not want to be seen for now. But before leaving, he mutters a sincere thank you.
When they cross paths in the inn, there was no closure whatsoever about what happened to him that night. But before he leaves to protect Liyue again, Verr called him. "Xiao,"
The adeptus stopped in his tracks and faced her.
"Stay safe. If you get hurt don't hesitate to come home alright?"
Ah. The words of a mother to a child. But Xiao is no child and not certainly a child to a mortal- but still, Xiao finds him saying, "I'll be back."
This simple pattern went on for years. While they never called each other 'mother' or 'son' verbally, the relationship is there. Whenever Xiao leaves, Verr always reminds him to take care. And when he comes back, she never fails to greet him, "Welcome home!"
Xiao felt loved.
As small thanks, there are times Xiao would help in the inn aside from protecting his home from monsters and hoarders.
Like- helping Huai'an with heavy crates of materials and teaching Yanxiao Sweet Dreams (the inn got a boost from his recipe). He'll help as long as it doesn't involve interacting with other mortals aside from the inn staff.
Then the time came when Verr announced she was pregnant.
Xiao's initial reaction... was to leave. He didn't want the baby near him- no, scratch that. He didn't want to be near the baby or else it would catch his karmic energy if ever he loses control. The baby deserved a life free from any danger- free from him.
And Verr was having none of that!!!
She noticed the lessening appearances of the Yaksha within the inn ever since her announcement, so he waited for her son at the balcony.
"The evening cold will not do you well and the baby." He said as he materialized a few feet away from her.
Verr noticed his walls up again and her mother instincts told her that something's up. So with careful prying, she finally learned his reasons of him staying away. But with a gentle smile, she reassured him that he can never do wrong or harm to the baby
Carefully, she let out a small joke, "Who knows, I bet the baby will be even safer having a brother like you."
Oh how she doesn't know how her joke struck a chord in Xiao's heart. The adeptus vowed to protect you at all cost.
Throughout his mother's pregnancy, Xiao became very protective of her. And that also means being careful of himself whenever he fights in order to avoid his karma leaking out. There was this one time even, Verr convinced Xiao for him to hold her swollen belly and feel the baby. The moment he felt that small kick! His heart burst feelings he didn't think he would ever feel! Pure joy and love for another.
The day came when you finally entered the world with strong fits of cries- as if demanding to be brought back to the darkness you were familiar with in your mother's womb!!!
Despite accepting the fact he now has a little sibling, he doesn't show up to greet you to the world. Perhaps he was still in denial? That all of this was just some dream that he's desperate mind conjured up? But still his heart beckoned him to go to you.
With swift and silent movements, Xiao entered the sleeping couple's bedroom and there he saw that small bundle of you. The way his heart welled up in pure happiness. The mere sight of you just confirms that all this is real and not a dream.
Awkward, but careful and determined, Xiao lifted your small form to his arms and against his chest.
The way you instantly cuddled into him with hand accidentally tugging his hair just sent Xiao into a pure moment of peace.
~~~
During your infant years, Xiao would always spend his time with you during the night by sneaking into the couple’s bedroom and just simply holding you close. Verr, having noticed his nightly visits to you, have even prepared your bottles of milk in case you were hungry during his visits.
The first time you cried while he was holding you, surprisingly, Xiao did not panic. He knew you were hungry and he silently thanked himself for observing mortal mothers back then. He simply took the bottle Verr had prepared and gave it to you as he began singing the very same lullaby his mother had sang to him. That’s how soft Xiao is for you.
Although there are other times when the inn was very bustling with business to the point of having Verr and her husband’s hands tied. These are the times Xiao will then just grab you from your mother’s hold with no word and take you to the balcony. With a prepared bottle in hand at that. Verr would always smile at Xiao’s retreating back.
Innocence, it’s such a pure thing honestly. While playing with you, you somehow grabbed his mask. Xiao was about to take it, in fear you would cry at its hideous look. But you never cried or whimpered. You simply toyed with it by putting it on your face or by playing its horns. Perhaps even hideous things can still have a chance at love?
Your first word came while Xiao was holding you with Verr close by preparing your baby meal and it was gēgē. You kept babbling that word over and over while tugging at his hair so happily and Xiao can only hold you closer as his body shook in silent, happy tears. Verr taught you that word *wink*.
Come toddler years and boy did Xiao’s worry for you intensifies. You were an explorer! The moment you learned how to crawl, you were going to places here and there! You almost gave your brother a heart attack </3!! Especially that time when you were crawling up the stairs on you own!!! Your exploring habits only intensified when you learned how to walk~ To tone down your exploring tendencies- Xiao would take you for small walks where your tiny, little legs can take you. It was a cute sight, the two of you walking hand in hand. You were so small~
Childhood arrived and you became a big bundle of energy. Since you’re not old enough to help with the inn, you often bothered your brother to play with you or walk with you outside. Of course Xiao will always agree with a smile.
Glaze lillies only bloom during the night yes? But oh how Xiao was proven wrong when you approached a wild lily and it instantly bloomed under the sun in your presence. The joy that shone your eyes was so prominent, it was infectious. Because of that glaze lily, that is how the two of you got into your favorite past time, story telling with your brother. 
Also, imagine that sweet moment when you showed him your missing tooth and you both laughed off how you look ridiculous without it. 
His stories were mostly vague, but they never fail to amaze you. Stories about flying cranes, about majestic stags, how Liyue was created by the Geo Archon. But never about the Yaksha, that was a truth for another time.
The time finally came when you were about to visit Liyue for the first time. It was for a physical check-up with Dr. Baizhu, Verr said. Normally, you and your mother should have left the inn a day ago because of the distance but Xiao insisted that he teleport the three of you to Liyue. That was the first time you disagreed with your brother. “But I want to see the roads and places going there!” Ah, an adventurer at heart.
Xiao crouched down to your level and ruffled your hair saying, “Sure, we can take the carriages on the way home. That way you can see the beauty of Liyue.”
But there was another thing that grabbed your interest. “But, gege, teleport? Are you like the adepti you tell me in your stories? Like they use their magic to go around places to keep us safe?” Then a fantastical idea popped in your head as you eyes shone bright! “Gege, are you an adeptus?!”
Xiao inwardly panicked and he had no words for your excited question. He didn’t expect to have you discover the truth so soon. But lying can bring him nowhere. He took a small glance at his mother, who was smiling at him encouragingly. 
“Yes. I am one, but I will tell you more when you become older okay?” The first statement made you explode excitedly then the second statement made you pout. All in a milisecond. But at the back of your head, you listed this moment to your ‘adult stuff I want to know in the future.’
“Someday, I wanna be a cool adeptus like you!” You exclaimed proudly and Xiao smiled at your aspirations, but prayed with desperation to the Archons to never make that happen ever.
But this does not stop him from showing you his anemo vision. And now, your playtime involved use of his anemo <3
Your energy was basically uncontained when you step foot in the harbor and Xiao’s eyes were only at you. Despite having familial relationships, he still detests humans to a degree, so he glares at anyone suspicious walking on your merry way.
When you arrived Yujeng Terrace after the check-up, everyone was so surprised at how glaze lillies simply bloom at your presence, especially Madame Ping. But she was even more surprised when she saw you running to someone she hasn’t seen for so long. Seeing Xiao lift you up with a smile made Madame Ping’s worries for him ease down. Coming into eye contact, Xiao simply offered her a small bow. You noticed and saw the old lady he was bowing to. You were a respectful child, so even if you had no idea who the lady was, you also gave a small, shy bow to her way.
Since this was a one-day visit, you took your sweet time exploring the harbor with your mother and brother tailing you. You often would point things out that grabbed your interest. Sometimes, you would stop at the sight of a stray cat just for you to crouch down and pet it. You even found a black cat with gold eyes and a white diamond spot on its forehead. You excitedly lifted it to your arms and showed your brother, “It looks just like you, gege!”
On the first half of the travel back home, you marveled at the nature surrounding you. You never left the window side of the carriage you road. And then the latter half came, you were snuffed out like a candle with cat cozy in your arms and you cozy in Xiao’s arms, who was also asleep. Verr had etched this moment into her memory forever. 
A/N: Might add another part? I dont know i am indecisive hahahaha If i do add some, prolly more about how you met Venti and Zhongli and your visit to your mother’s home land, Mondtsadt-- 
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sleepy-dreamers-inc · 4 years ago
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MORE DAD WILBUR!!! IT WAS SOO FREAKING CUTE!!!
Wilbur as a Dad! Pt. 2 💫||
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irl / in-game
Genre| fluff
h e a d-c a n n o ns||
Sypnosis|
Y/N and Wilbur have finally had they’re baby, so have some nice Dadbur <3
Artist| jillybeanie01 on twitter!
warnings| hospitals, swearing
Key|| [C/N] - child’s name
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- There C/N was, laying in they’re parents arms, as Y/N hugged them close, cradling they’re new born baby. Y/N stared in adoration, they we’re finally going to be a parent, the journey had been rough, and still will be, but for now, it was worth it.
- Wilbur had quietly sneaked in, cracking open the door and sneakily slipping into the room. He quietly walked over to the bed, staring at the two most beloved people in his life. Y/N softly cradled C/N in they’re arms, softly nuzzling them as C/N softly snored.
“Oh god...- oh now i have two beautiful people to adore..” Wilbur giggled, grabbing his partners attention. “Why hello, Mr. Soot, would you like to meet Soot Jr?” Y/N giggled softly as to not disturb the precious infant in they’re arms.
Wilbur giggled, and slowly made his way to his lover and child.
He’s never loved two people so much in his life.
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- The few days you and your baby had to stay there he felt like he couldn’t function, usually he would go on ‘auto-pilot mode’ or be totally normal, but he practically sulked around until you and C/N were discharged
- Speaking of leaving the hospital, when all of you could leave that day he was SO EXCITED. Cradling his baby in his arms bouncing them up and down ever so gently. He was so happy to finally be able to be with his kid, with no boundaries. He was truly the happiest man in the world
- He’d walk around with C/N in his arms, showing them the house whilst he had a big goofy grin on his face. Especially when showing the kid they’re nursery
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(just an example but still)
- You know he’s missed streams becyhe was spending time with C/N. Which in return causes him to stream at like 2-3 AM, but then C/N starts crying, so theres just these like 10-15 minute periods in his stream of just him not being there.
- Him having shopping trips with C/N and going buying them clothes, toys, plushies, ect.
- Again, he’d totally buy sweaters and beanies for them. They’re is no escaping this thought.
- Techno travelling to the UK so he can meet C/N with Tommy and Philza. And them all of then internalky crying because ‘holy shit this baby cute but WILBUR IS SO HAPPY— BUT FAMILY TIME AND LATE NIGHT TALKS-‘
- Niki? She’d be a great babysitter change my mind. She’s like the only one you two trust besides SBI & Tubbo. Like thats the group. Thats it.
- Philza would be a great grandfather this is CANNON. That man was made to be a fatherly figure, okay? Him and Kristin would be so happy to spend time with C/N
- Like yeah they wouldn’t act like 80 year olds and want porridge or like prunes but you know they’d take your kid out to the park, play with them, like i swear they’d probably have a routine schedule
- Tommy and Tubbo would just. Vibe with them if im being honest. They probably dont know how to take care of babies but that doesn’t mean they’d look after C/N and try they’re best.
- Although you and me both know they’d get into some trouble while C/N was there, i can totally see them sprinting down a sidewalk with C/N in Tommy’s arms as Tubbo is looking behind them.
- Wilbur having to be pryed off of the duo after he found out that incident happened.
- Wilbur is a protective dad, not suffocating and wouldn’t let his kid do anything, but more of just wanting them to be safe. He would die if his baby got hurt
- He’d miss a lot of streams... which caused his chat to ask what was happening. This in turn led him to walking out the room and returning with a bundled up baby in his arms.
“This is C/N, chat. This is my baby! They’re the reason I’ve been missing so much... but i can’t complain, they mean everything to me.” He whispered, pecking his baby on the forehead as he read his chat. It seemed everyone was supportive, and he knew Twitter would blow up.
- He’d make so many songs about his kid. It’s ridiculous. You could hear him humming a new tune and peek into the next room, only to see him rocking C/N back and forth.
- He’d sit C/N in his lap and play Minecraft on stream every once and awhile, C/N would try to grab the mouse and chat sweared he started crying
- Monthly streams with C/N pog??
- When C/N spoke they’re first words Wilbur got SO EXCITED. Especially if it was “dad” or “dada”. He would SOB GUYS.
- Wilbur hates being soft in front of other people that isnt you or SBI but C/N could do anything in front of anyone and ges smiling, giggling, clapping his hands.
- When C/N took they’re first steps it was because Wilbur was strumming his guitar, making a new song. He felt a tug on his pants and looked down to see C/N standing, angry and wanting attention. Oh boy they got attention all right. He ran to his phone and called Philza
“PLIL!!! PHIL!! PHILZA! DADZA-“
“WILL WHAT IS IT???”
“C/N JUST TOOK THEYRE FIRST STEPS I THINK I MIGHT BE CRYING-“
“OH MY GOD YOUR JOKING?? REALLY?”
“YEAH!! PHIL MY BABY IS SO SMART-“
“POG-“
- Y/N and Wilbur would have to take a trip somewhere, and this time Techno is the one who gets to take care of C/N!!! You guys would only be gone for like 3 days, but still.
- But when you two got home to a Techno sleeping in a chair, C/N in one arm as a Greek Mythology book was in another, Wilbur snapped a picture because thats what brothers do, guys.
- You finding Will asleep on the couch, C/N napping on his chest. You’d probably join in the cuddles to (dont lie-)
- I have no idea what being a parent is like lololol im the youngest in my family so i hope this wasn’t SHIT-
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a/n: Dadbur pog. I had no idea what to do for this post since all my ideas just left my brain.
Also sorry for not posting sooner!! Life has been super busy and a struggle for me for like,, the past week but lets hope i have more chances to write so my posts are actually good sjdbjd
Anyways ughhh sorry if this was bad but ughhh im making a discord? So pog? :D
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mikoobun · 4 years ago
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if levi had a son/daughter in the underground. (part 1)
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-being born into the underground under kenny’s supervision, levi was never surrounded by exactly the best influences. levi would most likely mess around at a young age, getting someone pregnant at the age of around 16 years old.
-hearing that he had a child on the way.. was not exactly exciting. in fact, it was the complete opposite. levi was in shock; he completely refused the possibility of someone bearing his kid. being so young, he had no idea what to do. he’d kept the secret from kenny for a while until he couldn’t do so anymore.
-he’d ran to the older man for advice, as he was the closest thing he’d ever had to a father. kenny was surprised, and actually found the situation to be quite comical. nevertheless, he gave levi pretty solid advice.
-kenny simply said, ”you want to be a deadbeat? go on and do that if you can live with the fact that you left a child behind that you never met.” and took a swig of his beer. “mess with as many broads as you’d like.”
-”but just know that your actions are that of a coward,” kenny continued, gaining levi’s full attention. “little self respect will always make you a little ass kid, runt.”
-that was all levi needed to hear before making up his mind.
-levi’d taken full custody of the child after it was born; the mother was too busy selling drugs and her body to care where it would end up, anyways. levi was happy he’d made his decision, god knows how the child would've been raised under that woman’s care.
“take him/her,” the woman carelessly tossed her screaming baby into levi’s arms. his eyes widened as she just walked past him. he looked down at the infant. their eyes were overflowing with tears, and their face was an alarming shade of red. “i don’t need no damn baby.” the woman continued. levi’s chest bubbled with anger. how could she be so cold? he held his crying baby boy/girl into his chest and stormed out of her house, trying to keep his temper from flaring.
-the first few weeks were hell. levi had gone many nights without eating and sleeping to provide for his son/daughter. levi began stealing baby formula, blankets, baby clothes and beat the shit out of anyone who got into his way.
levi held a knife to the sweaty storeowner’s fat neck, glaring fiercely. “if you hadn’t noticed,” levi drawled. “my child is fucking hungry. if you know what’s best for you, you’ll let me take this formula and we’ll both walk away with our lives.”
-kenny offered little to no help, but he did help provide food when it was absolutely scarce. kenny sure as hell didn’t describe himself as a father, but he was not cruel enough to watch the baby starve to death.
-levi picked up on his kids favorite foods. canned mangoes and peaches.
-the baby was a screamer; which subjected levi to many, many headaches and only increased his irritability. their temper tantrums were i n c r e d i b l e . this is actually where levi picked up the word, “brat”.  (he used it on his child in the underground 24/7 lmaooo)
-levi's protective as hell over his child. nobody other than kenny, isabel, and farlan could touch them. everyone else was too dirty in his eyes.
-piggyback rides! very often! his child is literally a human accessory because they're constantly clinging onto him
-as his kid started to walk, chaoosssss grewwwww.
-___ was definitely a troublemaking kid. they would ignore their fathers reprimands, throw things around, and was far too curious for their own good (which has landed levi-and sometimes kenny- in a few shitty situations)
Levi: “oi ___, dont do that. oi- HEY-”
Kenny: “hey, kid. sit down. sit- HEY SIT-”
-if they could speak, Levi's kid could admit that their father's glare was terrifying.
-dressing his kid was absolute hell
-he quickly learned that his kid liked to walk around barefoot, and would NOT accept shoes. ever.
-levi couldn’t play with his child very often, but he did the best he could. his childs favorite game was patty-cake. (can you imagine THE levi ackerman singing and playing hand games with a 2 year old? adorable.)
-as much as levi pretended to hate it, he cherished these moments.
-he'd often fall asleep next to his baby, or with the child laying on top of him
-and soon, ___ began to speak.
-at first it was unintelligible gibberish, the type that only mothers could understand from their young. levi, being the mother in this scenario.
__: "sasq juk rbfjo awui anosoi?"
levi:
levi: "aren't you going to tell him/her how your day was?"
-one time, levi was out of the house, so __ was under kenny’s supervision. they’d called kenny “pawpaw”, which instantly grabbed kenny’s attention. 
“what- what did you just say?” kenny didnt know if he was hearing things. __ giggled. “pawpaw!” they cheered. kenny sputtered. “paw- look, kid, i aint nobody’s pawpaw-” “pawpaw, pawpaw, pawpaw!!” 
-his kid calls levi “dada” or ��pop pop”. levi swears his heart melts a little when he hears it
-but with everything, comes a fee.
-___’d quickly picked up on his father’s foul mouth, which kenny found absolutely hilarious.
___: “fuck you!” 
Levi: “dont say that.”
Kenny and ___: “fuck you!”
Levi: “oh god”
-needless to say, levi was tired as hell. every day was something new with him/her.
-suddenly, one day he just.. realized.
-he realized how much he truly loved his kid.
amidst the dirt and darkness of the underground city, there was a star that shone brightly in levi’s life. levi sat in a dark alleyway, holding his child close to his chest. the baby loved that; being held so close to their father. the baby was fast asleep, nuzzled deeply in levi’s arms, cooing ever so gently. his cold grey eyes softened, a sight that only his child would get to see. he realized his baby looked just like him. his heart throbbed in his chest. ___ was such a bright light, a youthful energy in a place made from hate. levi’s heart throbbed. he rocked back and forth a little. he wondered why they had to be born here. he wondered if he were a good parent. his thoughts ran rampant. almost as if they could hear his thoughts, ___ whined a little in their sleep. levi halted immediately, and glanced down again. the baby was fast asleep once again. levi smiled to himself. without even trying, ___ was his light.
trust me, levi wouldnt trade it for the world.
________
im sorry if this is bad haha, i came up with this in an hour :) -nila
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curious-menace · 4 years ago
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Omfg your writings are fabulous! May I request all of the Eddie's reactions to their s/o telling them they're pregnant?
ok just so you know, pregnancy gives me the squiglies so if these arent my best work i apologize in advance T-T
arkham riddler
oh.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
“Wait are you sure its mine” “WELL WHO ELSE'S COULD IT BE?” “SORRY JUST CHECKING”
he’s going to spend the next 9 months panicking just fyi. like a day or two will pass and then he’ll just look at you and you’ll be back to oH SHIT OH FUCK OH GOD IM GOING TO BE A DAD IM NOT READY.
this is honestly the best out come. he could have taken it SO much worse. 
blacklight riddler
well. this is a bit unexpected. you may wish to give him a few moments to process before you spring anything else on him.
once he regains his senses, he’s bundling you into the car to take you to the doctor. he DOES believe you but he wants to be sure and he wants you to be checked over by a doctor so you're in perfect health.
he’s in a bit of a daze as the doctor confirms things. He’s not even sure he wants to be a father but so help him he’s going to try.
he’s got some experience with kids. Harley dumps her hell spawn on him all the time so he knows how to hold babies, change diapers and so on. he’s alright with kids, maybe this wont be as bad as he thought. 
BTAS riddler
oh he already knows. you've been practically glowing for days already....that and he found the pregnancy test in the trash.
he’s super excited to have a mini him. he wants to tell people as soon as he finds out. you're going to have to physically hold your hand over his mouth to stop him .
He’s giving the game away with all his vague posting on social media buying baby clothes and checking into places that are baby or infant themed. he’s making baby riddles.
since he works for Wakko toys, he’s obviously going to spend the next 9 months building things for him and the child to play with. he’s excited to have someone to test his newest creation first hand. He and the baby are going to be the best of friends 
original riddler
he legit fainted when you told him. like on the ground, out cold, needed to sit on the sofa with his head between his legs for a few minutes after he regained consciousness.
ok. he can do this. i mean, his parents were kind of messed up and he turned out just fi-....oh god this isn't going well already oh shit.
you might have to slap him, he’s going to be hysterical and maybe nearly faint again.
i think you might need to take him to the doctors when you go for your first check up. get the poor fucker some xanax or something .
telltale riddler
not to be rude. be he is wondering how the FUCK that happened. he’s 60 he’s old enough to be a grandad nevermind just a dad.
this is going to sound cruel but. do you really want to keep it? like can you IMAGINE him as a parent??? what if he passed on his lunacy? what if the agency finds out?! he really wants you to consider adopting it out. 
he’s not going to tell you what to do. he’s old not old fashioned. He’ll be relieved if you say you’ll give it away but he’s still going to guard you like a hawk for the next 9 months. don't expect to be going outside much until this is taken care of
if you decide you want to keep it you're practically going into witness protection. like you have to choose between your family and the life that you know and him. either he’ll disappear from your life to protect you and the child or all 3 of you will up and move to the other side of the world.
zero year riddler
AW YEA BAYBEEE! he’s been waiting for this news for MONTHS . you know what sort of a narcissist he is, he cant wait to have a mini-me and he know’s hes going to be the best dad ever.
he’s already bought a bunch of home birth books. you are going to let him deliver right? oh. 
you’d better set some ground rules. otherwise he’s going to be putting folic acid supplements into your smoothies, playing beethoven to your bump while you're asleep. 
at least you wont need to worry about him not doing his share of child rearing. he’s clearly enthusiastic 
there you go nonnie! hope these were all ok!
got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜
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narcosmx · 5 years ago
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pacho herrera being a dad would include...
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a/n: here’s some pacho stuff because the idea of him being a dad has me heart eyes!! i’ll leave the how pacho got the child up to your own imaginaiton; could be adoption, surrogacy, idK anyways here we go
calls his kids rey o reina honestly especially if he has a girl he calls her reina de mi corazon because princess doesn’t describe how important she is but i honestly fucking adore the idea of him having a son 
i cannot with the idea of him being wrappes around his kid’s fingers because he so would be, fuck i think he’d even be aware of it... doesn’t give a shit is so happy to be a dad he’d give his kid the entire world 
god i am crying at the idea of him caring for a baby or infant because he would be as much of a  hands on dad as physically fucking possible 
hed be the dad laying on his stomach on the floor as their baby has tummy time, being at their level, playing with them
hed get so excited, whenever the baby did anything he’d be gasping and cooing about how they’re doing a good job, clapping for them 
like his baby literally melts him, he would literally anything for that baby 
would be the proudest dad ever, he knows what it’s like to have a father that didn’t stand by their kid so pacho is dedication to making it clear how happy and proud he is to have this child 
like when they say their first words he’s fucking losing it, he’s cheering for the baby, clapping his hand, making the baby giggle and like squeal scream
soccer would def be part of this kid’s life and i am here for it 
like he has little jerseys for them THAT MATCH HIS OWN WOW I AM SOBBING 
as soon as they baby can walk he’s putting a soccer ball in front of them 
becomes team mascot for when pancho goes to play has likle 30 times more security so he can play without having to panic about the baby every ten seconds 
and i just the kid cheering for pacho, whenever he makes a goal he’s going over to hold the baby up in the air, giving them their besitos before going back to the game 
straight up has a whole soccer field out in his backyard so he can play with the kid, and as they get older pacho is always playing against them, having them practicing skills, running drills, lowkey coach dad
i feel like he’d be a really sporty dad, one that is in the backyard running the drills with the kid and i just
lowkey feel like the kids nino would be gilberto because they mean a lot to pacho because they took him in and accepted him as part of their little fam 
oH SHIT OR CHEPE IM CRYING YES in conclusion they would have a big part in that child’s life and 
pacho asking gilberto for dad advise why am i crying about this 
they would all be the kid’s tios i 🥺
gilberto would be the extra as fuck tio/nino that would always have new toys or treats for the kid whenever the kid comes to vist like the little kid coming in and jumping straight into gilberto’s lap
chepe would be such a playful and silly uncle like i can see him throwing the kid up in the air, giving pacho a lowkey heart attack, also he makes silly voices to the kid 
miguel would just be fucking awkward as he is but like ruffling the kids hair playfully, buys then ice cream or some shit like small stuff 
why do i get the vibes that pacho would sing to his babies like when the baby can’t fall asleep and pacho is walking around the house with them in his arms, he’s holding the baby to his shoulder and rubbing their back 
and pacho patting the baby while he’s singing to them but just barely audible whisper singing :(((((((
and when the kids get older he’ll sing to them when the kids sick :(((( like sitting at the edge of their bed while he rubs the kid’s back and signs to them gently 
him having the kid help him cook with they’re old enough like pacho with the kiddo sitting on the counter top and getting to help throw things into bowls, help them mix and most importantly taste to make sure it’s ready to go 
i am sad because he would be the dad that would tell his kids he needs to eat his veggies before ice cream... and they pout up at him and pacho sighs softly and is like okay but you have to eat some of them !
this goes without fucking saying but he’d be such a protective dad but pacho would so readily die for his fucking kid it makes me soft 
like if he was out here ready to burn norte del valle down for his brother, good fucking lord he would absolutely murder anyone that thought about thinking about his kid 
but keeps the life as far away from his kid as possible, would even be conflicted about the kid seeing the guards with guns 
whenever they’re passing the guys out front doing security, pacho is cooing at the kids like ‘mira a papi, mi reina/rey’ or distracting them somehow i just
i just he always has his kid on his hip or like beside him holding his hand ... he’d be the child’s best friend and pacho couldn’t be happier... the best thing that ever happened to him was being able to have a child that he could surround with the love, security and acceptance he wasn’t given
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stormcrawler75 · 4 years ago
Note
For the prompt thingy, Reluctant Caretaker With Janus and Infant!Patton? (Aka sunshine pure baby and unqualified papa)
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Characters: Janus, Patton, Virgil, mentions of Logan, Remus, and Roman
Warnings: Coma, drunk driving, bruises, stitches
“Unnnnnnnnn’caaaaaaaaa, ‘Anu!”
Janus groaned, cracking his eyes open and rubbing at his eyes sleepily. He glanced at his alarm clock and after blinking a few times, he groaned again when he saw just how early it was. “Fucking- ugh,” he muttered, rubbing his hand down his face. He sighed and got up, slowly walking out of the room.
“Unnnnnnnnn’caaaaaaaaa, ‘Anu!”
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Janus muttered, yawning so hard that his jaw clicked. He walked into the room that had been nothing but a guest room a few days ago - when things had still been normal and Janus didn’t have to worry about raising a baby - and to the old crib that he had gotten three splinters setting up. 
His nephew was standing up in the crib and looking up at Janus with wide eyes and a bright grin. He bounced up and down and made grabby hands at Janus. “Un’ca ‘Anu’, up! Up!”
Janus yawned and picked Patton up, bracing him against his hip. “Yes, Uncle Janus is up now. Though, the fact that either of us is up at four fifteen is a crime,” he told the one-year-old seriously. 
And in return for the great wisdom that he had given his nephew, Patton reached up and grabbed Janus’ nose. Well... Janus supposed that he had gotten worse feedback from people who he had given advice to.
“Alright now, no playing games now,” Janus hummed sleepily, gently moving Patton’s hand away and walking out of the used-to-be-a-guest-room. He glanced out the window and sighed. The stupid sun could already be seen peeking up over the horizon. “Are you hungry? Is that why you woke me up?”
“’anna ‘ee Daddy,”
Janus froze right at the top of the stairs, feeling like he had just been slapped. He had been so good pushing back and ignoring the heart-crushing grief, confusion, and helplessness that the last few days had brought. And with three words, his one-year-old nephew had almost completely toppled all the walls that Janus had put up to try and cope. Janus took a shaky breath, eyes burning with unshed tears. “I’m afraid that you can’t see your Daddy right now,” he said softly, walking down the stairs. “You’re living with me for now, Patton. I... will explain in the morning, okay?”
Patton gave him a look with so much of Virgil’s stubbornness that Janus almost let out a sob. Virgil had barely had Patton for a year and his son was already so much like him. 
“For now, let’s think of better things,” Janus said with forced chipper in his voice. He walked into the kitchen grabbed a small box of cheerios from his cupboard. “Even though it’s far too early to be up and awake, five o’clock is also the time when the old cartoons come on. I used to watch these shows with your daddy when I was just a toddler and he was your age.” He managed a weak smile as he walked into the living room. “Doesn’t that sound fun?”
“Yes,” Patton chirped, grinning at Janus widely that wrinkled the stark white bandaid that he had gotten at the hospital. “Yes!”
Janus chuckled, sitting down in his favourite old armchair, shifting Patton so he was in one arm so he could open up the box of cheerios. “Did you watch these shows with your daddy? Or did Mr. Lawyer show his son more serious shows? Educational programs?” He got a blank stare in response and decided that it was far too early in the morning to use big words with his nephew. So instead he just switched the channel until he found old reruns of ‘The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show”.
Besides, Patton’s excited cry of, “T’eety!” made Janus think that maybe this wasn’t the first time he had watched these shows.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Janus’ shoes clicked against the hospital tiles, the only sound in the eerily quiet hallway. He could hear distant coughs and the quiet sound of people talking but here, in the long term care section of the hospital at eight o’clock in the morning, there wasn’t much noise. And it made Janus so sad. His poor baby brother didn’t belong in a place like this.
He stopped outside the last door in the hallway, knocking gently at the half-open door. “Good morning,” he said softly, walking in and draping his coat over one of the chairs. He sat down with a sigh. “I’m sorry that I’m here so early but your son woke me up at four AM. I left him with my friends so I can come to see you. Please don’t worry about your son, Virgil. Logan and Remus are good people and they already love Patton." He took off his bowler hat and put it in his lap, tapping his finger against it gently. “Do you have anything to say about that?”
Of course Virgil didn’t. Though, Janus supposed that he couldn’t be too upset with his brother. It was rather hard to speak with tubes down your throat. And the fact that Virgil was in a coma made it even harder, Janus was sure.
Virgil was lying completely still on his hospital bed, looking strangely peaceful. He didn’t seem bothered at the dark purple bruises on his cheeks or the stitched-up cut on his forehead. And then Janus remembered how he had looked a few days ago when he had first been brought to the hospital and had to look away.
“Your friend Roman came to my house the other day,” Janus said, forcing himself to continue. He had to speak talking. He feared what would come out of his mouth if he didn’t. “I must say, Roman may not be as interesting as his brother but he is a good lawyer. He’s pushing me to press charges and he is assuring me that I would have a very good case.” He snorted and shook his head. “Though, I suppose that you don’t have to be a good lawyer to know that driving while is against the law.”
When there was no response to his words, Janus sighed and reached forward, gently putting a hand over Virgil’s bruised one. “Do you remember how happy I was when you made me Patton’s Godfather,” he whispered softly and with a slight tremble to his words. “Well, I change my mind. Virgil... I have no idea how to care for a baby. You have to wake up so you can raise your son. Please.” He laughed and blinked, vision turning a little blurry. “I am begging, Virgil. You have to wake up. I can’t do this. I don’t know how to do this.”
The only response Janus received was the steady beeping of Virgil’s heart monitor. It looked like Janus was on his own for now.
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mileycyprus-hill · 4 years ago
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Chpt 1, Chpt 2, Chpt 3, Chpt 4, Chpt 5
Also can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22218607/chapters/58951003
Thank you to @oodanijadeoo​ for beta-reading this chapter and giving such great, constructive feedback! 
Chapter 6
You leave the apartment above Dr. Birner’s office with reluctance, thinking back to that brief period you were recuperating. You were in a peaceful limbo. No worries, no anxious thoughts of the future. For one week, you lied there with your infant son, living in the moment. You basked in his cherubic glory and thought of nothing else. For all you knew, there was nothing beyond those four walls. Just you and Isaiah.
And it was perfect.
You remember feeling Arthur’s eyes on you. He’d visit once a day at the apartment and spend a few nights on the floor of your room, despite your small protests. While holding Isaiah in his arms after his feeding, you’d catch that particular look Arthur gave you. It was a look of uncertainty; a question begging to be asked.
That question tortures you both.
He didn’t want to ask it and you didn’t want to hear it, but you both knew it had to be said.
Now, you finally have the strength to walk and ride in the jostling wagon without pain. The reality of your situation soon returns as you lie in the wagon. Leaning back on the mattress that comfortably lines the bed of the wagon, you look over to Susan who sits by your side. She holds your infant son in the swaddle of a soft wool blanket, gently caressing his cheek with her index finger.
It’s not often you get to see Susan grow soft like this. Her life has been ridden hard and rough and it often shows in her moods. One can hardly blame her. She’s proven she’s come out of it stronger and more alive than any other woman on earth.
You envy her strength.
Swaying with the rolling wagon wheels on the trail, you replay the conversations in your head: Dutch, Arthur, Dr. Birner. All of them asking for a decision. All of them telling you what’s best.
Can any decision be the right decision? You wonder.
.…
Arthur has become an enigma to you in these passing days, you realize. He often gives Isaiah attention and offers help whenever he can. But something deep down inside you gives you this cynical notion that he’s saving himself up. That he’s only doing these things and acting paternal to get you to trust him.
He’s going to have to play his cards soon, and he needs an ace.
You try to shake these thoughts away, but they soon return whenever Dutch checks on you both on numerous occasions.
“Has a decision been made between you two?” He would ask.
His check-ins are a now weekly occurrence. So often that you now avoid crossing his path so he won’t have a chance to bring it up.
You hope you could reply ‘no’ long enough that he’d soon give up. You’re too fearful to say what you truly want. And you know Dutch is not one to forget or give up.
But you truly hope this time he would.
However, you forget the one person Dutch could still corner and persuade to change this whole situation.
Arthur.
It’s three months to the day of Isaiah’s birth and you worry if you can finally breathe. You hope to continue with the routine of a child in the gang now that it’s been long enough; allow the members of the gang to grow attached. Little Isaiah grows stronger and more lovable each day. Even John has taken a liking to him. He approaches you and Isaiah sitting underneath a shady lean-to. You sit cross-legged on the blanket while supporting Isaiah in your hands. His little back lays on your forearms, with his soft head resting in your palms. The ruffled hem of his crisp, white baby gown cascades down your arm. The sun was so warm before you retreated to the shade. Through the light cotton, you can still feel a little sweat on his back from the desert heat.
“Can I hold him?” John asks meekly. He slowly drops to his knees before you and watches Isaiah curiously.
Looking up at John, you reply, “Sure. Make sure to support his neck, and watch his head.”
You adjust your baby in your arms and carefully transfer him to John, who fearfully holds him like holding a wounded animal. John keeps an elbow awkwardly high to support Isaiah’s head and you hold back a chuckle at the sight of him. The corner of his lip upturns into a nervous smile.
He catches you grinning at him and his face turns sour.
“What’s so funny?” He asks defensively.
You reply genuinely, “Nothing. Just…you look cute together.”
You watch as Isaiah babbles and attempts to grab at the strange young man holding him. His chubby legs kick and kick with such energy and excitement of seeing a new person.
John scoffs at your remark and opens his mouth to retort. Though he’s quickly distracted by Isaiah wiggling in his arms and he grows nervous at keeping him still.
“Uhhh,” John groans uncomfortably. “I think..oh shit, I’m gonna drop him.”
You giggle and quickly relieve John of his anxiety, fluidly scooping Isaiah from his stiff arms into yours. Isaiah babbles and squeals in your arms, testing his voice with his high pitches. The soothing rocking of your arms and the heat of the air settles his excitement and he soon grows weary.
For several minutes, you and John watch his eyelids slowly fall and rise every couple of seconds as he jerks himself awake, kicking a leg and trying his hardest not to sleep. He’d attempt this a few times until he could no longer fight it. The warmth and comfort of your body allows him to relax and finally sleep in your arms.
John sits cross-legged in front of you in silence, watching Isaiah fall into a deep sleep. He watches his little stubby fingers attempt to grip at your forearm tightly before relaxing. Moving his gaze up to your face, John notices your smile is gone and replaced with a forlorn look.
He asks quietly, “What’s wrong?”
The heavy weight of guilt grows in your chest and you lift your head with glassy eyes. As you break your attention away from Isaiah to John, your chin quivers and a rogue tear slides down your cheek. With a shaky breath, you answer.
“I’m afraid,” You say with a cracked voice. “I thought everything would be better once he’d be born but, I feel trapped.”
John looks to you with understanding. For the past few months, he’s watched you and Arthur struggle against each other. He had secretly grown proud of how strong you kept yourself under Arthur and Dutch’s pressure. He knows Arthur’s only reciting what Dutch tells him, never thinking for himself and that aggravates John. He thinks himself far younger than Arthur and yet so much more headstrong and independent. John had been watching you struggle with your options in silence and he worries you’ll choose one you’ll regret.
This is his opportunity to tell you what he thinks.
He attempts to console you, speaking quietly and honestly.
“Everyone loves him, (Y/N). I can see that.” He says.
Another tear escapes your eye, painting your cheek.
“It don’t seem to matter how much everyone loves him,” you croak. “What matters is what Dutch thinks and what kind of life he should have.”
“But your life’s been better since you joined. And mine. And Arthur’s!” John exclaims in a hush. “Don’t you think? What makes ‘im think we can’t give him the best life with us?”
John points to Isaiah who remains unstirred in your arms.
“Because we’re criminals, John.” You say with dread, letting Dutch’s repeated lectures finally sink in.
“And who’s to say I won’t resent him later on? Treat him like my parents did me?”
Those last words tear into your heart like a jagged blade. Who’s to say you won’t inherit your parents awful temperament towards your child? Will you truly love him as he grows, or will you see him as just a mistake that took your freedom away?
John’s words grow heated in response to your self deprecation.
“Cause you’re not them, (Y/N),” he hisses through his teeth in frustration, “You’re better than them. I know you love Isaiah. Because if you didn’t, you’d leave him the first chance you get.”
He speaks bitterly in remembrance of his own childhood. The grief from loss and abandonment is all too familiar to him. He stares at Isaiah with his dark eyes glowing in a mix of resentment and woe. He knows from experience that little Isaiah is too fragile to live and grow without the love of a mother. Or a father.
“Just promise me one thing, will ya?” He asks, his own voice cracked and quiet.
Staying silent, you look into his eyes and nod.
“Don’t send him to an orphanage…please. Find him a family. A good one.” He confides solemnly. His head droops low and he lightly fumbles with the tip of his boot.
“Of course, John…” You assure him.
With his head still held low, John reaches forward and grasps at Isaiah’s hand. He holds the tiny hand in between his thumb and index finger, rubbing at the top of Isaiah’s hand with his thumb. Isaiah remains asleep while he curls his little fingers over John’s finger, holding onto him tightly.
“I promise.” You whimper through quiet tears.
The sun is dropping from its high noon perch and its heat begins to cool into the late afternoon. You stand by the food wagon, behind the work table with a variety of vegetables laid before you. Carrots and parsnips in orange, purple and white and fresh, crisp celery lay in bright contrast against the dark and scratched wooden table.
Your heart remains sunken from your gloomy exchange with John, and the mundane task of prepping supper has left your mind open to racing thoughts of what-if’s and should-I’s.
You barely hear the familiar footsteps belonging to the one who shares those thoughts with you. Both of your minds are unknowingly linked with troubled ruminations. The heavy strides step forward to you while your head remains low and your eyes focused on the rations before you. The tip of his boots come into view at the corner of your eyes, but you don’t react.
“(Y/N),” Arthur greets with hesitation, “We need to talk.”
“About what?” You ask, sensing his mood and growing on edge.
You already know what he wants to talk about, but you want to hear him say it. You want him to reflect on the terrible request before speaking.
Arthur fidgets with a carrot on the wooden table, rolling it back and forth on the un-level surface with his dirty hands. The speed of the rolls grow with your mutual irritance. He feels the tips of his ears flushing red. This decision hurts him too, but he hopes to make it quick before it can get worse. Never has he made such a paramount decision like this. The life he was thrust into at a young age taught him to react, to not waste time with decisions of morality, only survival.
In the past several years, he often left these choices to Dutch, because the man would take it upon himself to do so. This was something that Arthur had grown used to. Something he trusted.
Leave it to me, son. I’ll think of something. Dutch’s words echo in Arthur’s ears.
But how can Arthur tell you? Standing before him with a knife in your hands, how can he tell you that while he doesn’t like it either, it’s actually for the best?
The knife in your hand hits against the cutting board a little harder with each slice.
Watching you carefully, Arthur speaks, “I wanna talk about us.”
You involuntarily crease your eyebrows in confusion, your eyes squinting and still focusing on the vegetables. The smell of boiling beef stock in the pot next to you would’ve made you sick just a few months ago before Isaiah was born, but you’re too irritated to care now.
Neither of you wanted to cross this road again. But there’s only so many detours you can take before you reach the fork again.
Your voice slices into him like the knife through the carrot, which you snatch from his light grip.
“What makes you think there’s an ‘us’?” You say bitterly. Your tone is a little more than a hurried breath, but is loud in your heart.
Ignoring your bite, Arthur rests his hands on the table and leans his weight forward on them. He drops his chin low, watching your hands work quickly in repetitive movements.
“I wanna know what your plan is. For Isaiah.” He says.
The knife stops in your hand and your grip tightens against the handle.
“It’s too early, Arthur. He’s only three months old yet.” You say, steadying the frightened tremble in your voice.
He leans himself further over the table, bringing his face closer to yours but you keep your gaze low to the chopped vegetables, only feeling his breath on your forehead as he speaks.
“I know, but when? The longer we wait, the harder it’s gonna be.” Arthur speaks in a distinct whisper, meant for your ears only and no other.
If your thoughts hadn’t been racing, you could’ve detected the fear and reluctance in his voice as he spoke. You could’ve noticed the tremors in his hands and fingers, left empty to tremble in fear without an item to fidget with. You could’ve seen the tension in his broad shoulders growing stiff at the emotional weight that bears down on them.
“I don’t know when, Arthur.” You spit, “I can’t think with everyone breathing down my neck like this.”
“But you ain’t alone—“
“Oh, I ain’t?” You finally draw your gaze to him and stare into his eyes with a painful glare. “I don’t think you understand. You may be his father but, in the end it’s my decision to make. Not anyone else’s, regardless of what they think.”
“Just lemme help,” Arthur pleads.
“I think you’ve done enough,” you reply bitterly, “You’re a father now, Arthur. Start actin’ like one.”
Your words flood his ears and leave an awful dry pit in the back of his throat. He remains silent, allowing your statement to pierce him and the venom to fill his veins. It makes its way to his heart, filling it in each painful contraction.
You finish your harsh words, “Now leave me alone.”
Arthur complies and turns away. He takes his first step to leave before stopping himself.
With a slight pivot of his head, he utters, “Y’know, you keep this up and soon you will be alone with no one else to blame but yerself.”
Three weeks pass and you refuse to start the conversation again, despite Arthur’s pressing. Deep down you wonder, is it selfish of you to want to keep Isaiah? To keep Arthur tied to you this way?
You would never try to keep Arthur leashed to camp like a dog; to hold him hostage in a false sense of domesticity. You’re more than willing to raise this child on your own. Even if Arthur had this sudden change of heart and wanted to be rid of his mistake. You at least, are mature enough to step up to the plate, you tell yourself.
It’s been a few days since you’ve seen Arthur and John. They had been sent by Hosea to follow a tip about a train carrying payroll for a silver mine. After your argument with Arthur, you found yourself distancing from him again. Which you hated and it caused you much pain, but you forced yourself to; to avoid hurting Arthur again with such unkind words.
Laying Isaiah down to bed in your tent, you step out to walk across camp, towards Hosea’s tent. You see him sitting in his chair in front of his large tent, reading a book like always. An oil lamp sits beside him on a small table, cascading him in a soft, golden glow. Your thoughts remained troubled lately, and you hope Hosea would preach some wise words to calm your worries.
You hear hushed voices from behind one of the supply wagons and slow your pace, eyes slowly peering to the covered wagon. You stop with your feet planted when you recognize them.
“She’s still nursing, Dutch.” A voice whispers. Miss Grimshaw. “It’s too early to separate them.” She says. You detect apprehension in her tone.
“I know that Susan. But think about this. We’re getting too comfortable here and the law is startin’ to notice. We’ve got to move now, and we can’t travel with a baby. It’s too dangerous.” A deep, authoritative voice persuades.
Dutch.
He continues, “She needs to think about that. We need to think about the rest of the gang. We can’t afford any distractions.”
“But—“
“No. Exceptions cannot be afforded now. This is the safest option…for everyone.”
“And Arthur?”
A pause lingers.
“He’ll understand.”
Stepping swiftly and quietly, you turn to retreat to your tent. Closing the flaps of the entrance, you sob quietly into your hands. A few short cries are muffled by your palms. Your heart hammers in your chest and its beats roar loudly in your ears. After a moment, you release yourself with a deep, shaky breath.
We’re leaving? No, no, no, no. Not now. Not right now.
This can’t be happening.
Your cot gently creaks as you lie on your side and watch Isaiah. He sleeps soundly and unstirred in the little bassinet next to you. Earlier this week, you were persuaded by Hosea to have your tent moved closer to Arthur’s instead of near the perimeter, away from everyone else. Even though you were oblivious, Hosea could see the wanting in Arthur’s eyes as he watched you and Isaiah together. Arthur wants to help. He truly does. Unfortunately, you were blind to it.
“Closer to his father,” Hosea’s words repeat in your thoughts. “Make him get up with you when Isaiah wakes in the middle of the night. Don’t think you gotta do this all by yourself.”
A swirl of voices and past conversations enter and exit your anxious mind. You try so hard to silence them, but they break through the door of your conscience and demand to be heard.
Before long, the demanding voices exhaust you and you fall into a troubled sleep.
You’re walking along a red sand beach. The grains of sand give under your weight and hold onto the shapes of your feet and toes. The tide is low and the dry beach stretches out for miles towards the horizon. The cold white caps of the sea lap gently in the distance. The sky is bleak and gray, and the cold air bites at your exposed skin. You move to draw your shawl closer, but find you’re wearing only a thin, white nightgown made of silk. You find yourself standing alone in the middle of the dry ocean bed, the growing tide laps at your feet. Looking down at your bare feet in the sand, you see your pregnant belly. It’s so large, you can barely see your toes.
A voice calls behind you. It sounds so far away and distorted, you can barely make it out. You want to turn to see who’s calling, but you’re stuck facing the horizon.
Your body feels like it’s stuck in a vat of molasses. Every movement of your muscles is slowed and you’re snapped back to your original stance when you try to break its grip. The unidentifiable hold on you is forcing you to watch the growing tide as the water rises higher and higher. The voice behind you grows louder and louder, its call becoming clearer. It’s a familiar voice shouting your name, and it begs you to return to shore. You desperately want to run to the voice, to be wrapped in its warm embrace, its rich timbre filling your ears, but the hold on you refuses to break.
A white-capped wave rolls towards you, high as the cliffs behind you. The sound of the approaching wave is deafening, like an oncoming train. It muffles the screams and hollers of the voice behind you. You’re knocked back as the wave crashes into you like a wall of stone. A sudden pain jolts like an electric current in your stomach, and something slips out between your legs. You move to grab it with both hands, but it slips out of your grip. Still submerged in the dark waters, you open your eyes and see Isaiah sinking below you. His cries echo in the water. You try to scream his name, but the water fills your lungs and no sound can escape your throat. Swimming further and further down to catch him, he slips out of your grip and you find he’s sinking so much faster.
Reaching your hand out, he seems so close. Just a little more and you can grab his heel. A rough hand grips at your arm, pulling you up towards the surface, away from your baby. You claw at its grip, but it’s holding you so tightly that it digs painfully deep into your muscles and bone. Gold rings adorn the fingers of the hand, with coarse black hair on its knuckles. Screaming and thrashing, you bite and claw at the hand, but its burning grip doesn’t give. Looking back down into the abyss, you can faintly see a speck of your infant child, sinking further down. His cries are still loud in your ears, amplified in the water.
Suddenly, the hand pulls and you break the surface with a deep gasp.
“No!” You cry, throwing your hands up and swinging wildly. Your palm makes contact with warm skin, and you feel a slight sting in your hand as you slap whoever’s holding you.
A booming voice curses above you, “Dammit!”
Opening your tear-filled eyes, you see Dutch holding a hand to his temple, rising up off his knees and angrily walking out of your tent. Bewildered, you look around your cramped tent and see Miss Grimshaw kneeling by your cot, trying to calm you down with sweet words. She shushes you and holds your head in her hands, your hair feels wet with sweat against her gentle fingers.
You notice the bassinet beside her is empty and you nearly leap off your cot, trying to push Miss Grimshaw away.
“Where is he?” You frantically ask, “Where’s Isaiah?”
Miss Grimshaw raises her hands up, “He’s fine, (Y/N). Arthur’s got him.”
“Why?” You ask, nearly crying in fear. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
Grimshaw answers, “It’s okay. He’s okay. You were just having a nightmare, sweetie.”
Your chest heaves in panic. The images of your nightmare are still vivid in every blink of your eyelids. You struggle to stay standing as you become dizzy, raising a hand to your head.
Miss Grimshaw takes notice and lightly wraps her arms around you.
“It’s alright. Everything’s alright.” She soothes. “Let’s just lie back down. Hmm?”
Suddenly, a sputtered cry comes from outside your tent. Instinctively, you move to run to the source of the sound, until Grimshaw holds you back.
“It’s alright dear. You just rest now…I’ll go get ‘em.” She reassures you.
Your anxious breathing refuses to subside until Arthur steps in with Isaiah in his arms. He’s cozily wrapped in his white cotton blanket, hungrily fussing in Arthur’s thick arms. You reach out and silently ask for your child, to which Arthur grants. He seamlessly transfers little Isaiah from his arms to yours.
Grateful for the familiar weight in your arms, your panic finally begins to subside. Tears roll down your cheeks and you hold back a sob, kissing Isaiah’s warm forehead.
He continues to fuss and cry until you unbutton the front of your nightgown and drop a shoulder to draw him to your exposed breast. You notice Arthur shift uncomfortably at the sight and move to exit your tent.
“Wait, Arthur. It’s ok.” You stop him.
Standing by the entrance, he looks to you and asks, “You sure?”
You nod and pat the empty spot beside you with your free arm. Arthur still hesitates.
“It’s not like you haven’t seen them before.” You remind him.
Arthur gives a tense shrug and responds, “I know but, this is different.”
“Please, Arthur?”
Arthur nods and sits besides you with a tense sigh. He looks over and watches his son suckle at your breast with his tiny yet plump lips. Isaiah’s eyes close while you and Arthur hear the occasional breath through his little nose as he greedily feeds off your nipple.
You finally look over to Arthur and whisper, “Did I wake everyone up?”
Embarrassed for you, Arthur nods and runs his fingers through his thick hair.
“Yeah…guess you had a bad dream. Isaiah was cryin’ and Dutch and Grimshaw were tryin’ to wake you up. All of a sudden, I’m standin’ outside with ’im and I hear you give Dutch a big slap.”
He wraps an arm behind you and rubs his hand on your shoulder. With a small chuckle, he says, “Ain’t seen him get that red in a while. You musta hit him pretty good.”
Wiping the lingering tears from your eyes with your free hand, you smile, “Yeah. My hand still kind of stings.”
Arthur shifts closer to you, wrapping a corner of Isaiah’s blanket over his little bare feet.
“You wanna talk about it?” He asks gently, hoping to ease the tension.
Normally, you had come to Arthur to talk of your dreams or nightmares. He enjoyed deciphering them with you, figuring out what they could mean or what would cause them. But the image of your baby sinking into the black waters makes your heart feel like it was pierced with hot iron. You want to erase it from your mind.
Blinking away a stray tear, you answer, “No. I just wanna forget about it…Will you stay with me though?”
You feel so pitiful in asking, but you’re afraid to go back to sleep. You don’t want to return to that red beach.
You look into Arthur’s tired eyes and silently plead. He grasps your free hand beside him and looks over to Isaiah, whose lips have now released your nipple and remain agape as he sleeps soundly. Arthur nods and offers to take Isaiah from your arms. He gingerly places him in the bassinet while you button up your nightgown. Returning to your cot, he lays behind you and pulls you close. His warm arm wraps around you and he holds your hand in his, intertwining his fingers in yours. He slips his other arm beneath your neck, offering it as a pillow. You let out a shaky breath and allow Arthur’s warmth envelope you. His hot breath upon the back of your neck soon lulls you back into a peaceful, dreamless slumber.
The morning sun has not yet risen as you wake. Through the crack of your tent flaps, the sky is barely lightened to an early morning hue of sapphire, cascading everything on earth with its deep color. Leaving Arthur and Isaiah to sleep behind you, you quietly step through the canvas entrance of your remaining solitude. An unease remains buried in your heart from last night as you step back out to the outside world.
A decision has to be made. Today.
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bangchanshehe · 4 years ago
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Beautiful Nightmare pt.2 (M)
Handling a husband and child on top of a work life was hard work. But just as you think that you have the rest of your life laid out with a clear path many obstacles stand in you and Hoseok’s way. Is your love for one another enough to stand all trial and tests of faith or will it break you and your family apart?
Hoseok X OC
Word Count: 2.1k
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Hoseok wasted no time kissing you and rubbing at your clit, making your back arch into his chest. your mouth opened into a gasp as he continued to rub you at exactly the right pressure and angle, and Hoseok slipped his tongue inside of your mouth.
You closed your mouth over his and let your tongues entangle over one another and fighter for dominance. You wasted no time in foreplay, using a free hand gave Hoseok’s cock a few strokes, making him grunt and groan above you. After a few more pumps, Hoseok wrapped his fist around your wrist and pulled your hand off of him. He pulled his fingers out of you and sucked your juices off of his fingers before he lifted your leg and climbed in between them.
You scooted down towards him so your hips would be closer to one another, and without any effort Hoseok lifted your hips and slipped a pillow underneath them. he sat back on his heels as he held your hip and aligned his tip with your entrance. He rubbed his head up and down on your womanhood, gathering slick to lube up his cock before he pushed himself into you.
He froze as he bottomed out in you and you rolled your hips over him, desperate for the friction or any type of movement. Hoseok firmly gripped onto your hips and then through his teeth growled
“don’t… or ill cum too soon”
But at the sound of his effort to calm himself down before he released inside of you so rolled your hips even harder, giving him a bratty smirk.  
Hoseok looked up at you through his lashes and glared. “you wanna play rough angel?” he asked before he abruptly pulled out and flipped you over, with you ass exposed to him as you laid out on your chest.
You squealed in excitement and shock at how fast he managed to flip you over and then giggled and smiled in excitement. Hoseok was usually the same in bed… not that it bothered you. He was skilled enough that each time that you made love you managed to cum multiple times and enjoy it. but it was never extra dirty or rough, unless there was some sort of occasion where he was really happy or having a rough day.
Hoseok lingered above you and he grabbed your ass cheeks, squeezing them and making them wiggle before he spanked them. he forced your legs to be shut and then sat on top of your legs, making your pussy feel extra tight and warm. He lined himself up and then let himself sink down inside of you again, nearly gasping for air the entire time that he sank further down.
You could tell that Hoseok was so riled up that he could bust at any moment and you smiled to yourself. Hoseok growled and then pulled your hair back, twisted it around and then laced his hands through it, giving himself a firm grip on your head as he pulled back to make you arch back towards him
When Hoseok was confident that you were secure he began to fuck you slowly.
You could feel every inch and vein in his cock as he pushed himself inside of you repeatedly. Your walls were wrapped around him so tight that you had no room to move or push back onto him, all you could do was lie down and surrender yourself to him.
“you feel so fucking good angel” Hoseok said through pants
You hummed “yeah? You like that?” you asked him, making your voice sound more sultry and slutty
“fuck yeah!”  he answered back before he began to pound into your harder and faster.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt him hit your g-spot over and over again. you mouth hung open and your body squirmed and vibrated over his cock.
Hoseok continued his torture, making himself thrust faster and faster. You began groaning and letting out drawn out moans from the pleasure.
Hoseok finally let go of your hair and you did your best to move so you could look back at him.
“you gonna cum on my cock angel?” he asked with fucked out eyes as he glared down at you in focus
You violently nodded your head and fell forward from how much pleasure was coursing through your body. You tried your best to ground yourself and push back against Hoseok as your body completely lost control and shook.
“fuck, fuck, fuck!” you yelled as a wave of white hot pleasure caused you to freeze in place.
Hoseok’s thrusts became sloppier and sloppier as he felt you convulse and tighten around his cock and he threw his head back as he felt his balls tighten and then release as he shot his cum straight into you. He rocked his hips into you and did his best to push all of his seed inside of you as deeply as possible.
“shit” he groaned  as he sat still on top of you
“babe get off” you said through tired breath
“no!” he said quickly “I don’t want any to spill out” he said
“you don’t want what?” you asked him confused before it finally dawned on you “oohhh!” you said with a smile
Hoseok put his hands on his waist as he sat and tried his best to catch his breath. You tried your best to shift and get comfortable while he sat there and Hoseok let out a moan
“fuck, don’t wiggle baby” he said with a giggle “I’m still super sensitive”
You chuckled and then laid your head down on your arms in front of you. You knew that Hoseok was serious about wanting a baby so he would probably be extra precautions about making sure that he did all he could to get you pregnant.
“okay, im going to pull out, but quickly before any can spill out lay at the headboard and put your feet up on the wall” Hoseok said making you look back at him with confusion
How in the hell would he know about doing that? He looked back at you like he was confused as to why you were confused.
“on the count of three” he said getting himself ready “1…2… 3!” he yelled
He quickly moved out of the way and helped you as you raised your legs above your head at the headboard. When he was content that you were positioned right he looked at the clock at your bedside.
“baby you have to stay like this for 15 minutes”
You laughed hard at how serious and strangely educated he was “how in the hell do you know about all of this?” you asked him
He looked away shyly and then back down at you before he cleared his throat and sat down next to you, placing his hand on your stomach.
“well…” he started “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time” he confessed
You smiled at him “how long have you wanted a baby?” you asked him
“honestly…” he said with a shy smile, rubbing the back of his neck “since before you graduated.”
Your eyes went wide and your jaw dropped “babe, why didn’t you say anything?” you asked him feeling guilty for some reason
“because at the time we were just engaged and I didn’t want to freak you out or worry you so I just left it alone.” He admitted
“well.. it definitely would have been too soon, but you still should have told me” you admitted
“would you have tried with me any sooner if I said something?” he asked in a joking tone
You frowned and shook your head no “no, I wouldn’t have been ready yet. In fact I just recently started think about kids. So the fact that I agreed so easily today kind of blows my mind still” you confessed
Hoseoks stomach growled and you looked up at him with wide eyes.
“you hungry?” you asked and he nodded his head “then let’s order something, I could use some food too” you confessed
Hoseok pulled out the room service menu that was kept on the desk next to the tv and you admired his physique as he looked it over.
Hoseok still had the best body that you had ever seen and you blushed to yourself slightly. You would have never thought that after five years of being together that the two of you would still be so shy and in love with each other like you were from the first day
A loving smile was beginning to spread across your face as you remembered some of your favorite memories with one another, when Hoseok had turned around to face you and read the menu to you.  After a moment of no response from you Hoseok glanced up at you and then smiled.
“what made you smile like that angel?”  he asked with a  wide, content grin of his own
You had finally snapped out of your daydream and looked up at Hoseok “nothing I was just thinking about memories” you said with a fond smile
Hoseok smiled back at you and then walked over to hand to the menu, for you to look over. You scanned all of the items and then decided.
“I’ll take this one you” you pointed to the menu and watched as Hoseok called the front desk and ordered for you.
He turned the tv on and found a movie for the two of you to watch while you waited. But shortly after you had relaxed and Hoseok settled down into the bed you were falling asleep.
 The sun was bright as it shone through the windows that were open, making the cotton curtains sway in the breeze. In the corner of the room there was a white crib, and inside was a small child. their hair was scattered across their chubby head and it’s eyes were the most beautiful shade of dark brown. Cute freckles were scattered across it’s face.
The small child was wrapped in a small blanket and it stared up at the ceiling babbling away in baby talk. Opposite of the crib sat a picture of the baby as it was being born, images of the mother and father, and cute little stuffed animals that were waiting to be played with.
Softly the door creaked open and a woman with soft features and a warm smile walked in to check in on her baby. She pulled her baby out of the crib and sat down in a rocking chair, holding her infant tightly in her arms as the two of them swayed back and forth.
The woman was opening her mouth to speak or sing to the baby but you couldn’t hear what she was trying to say. Everything went quiet and then your eyes ripped open and you were back to reality.
“the food is here angel, you can get up and eat now” Hoseok whispered to you as he ran his hand through your hair
You let your feet fall down to your side and sat up right, making your head spin and feel dizzy. You closed your eyes and then focused in on the food that sat in front of you.
“let me know if you need more food” Hoseok said “if you want to get pregnant we need to keep you healthy and well fed”
You looked at him and gave him an ugly smirk “Hoseok!” you said making sure that he was paying attention to you before you continued to speak “I’m on birth control, so the chances of me getting pregnant even if I stop taking it tomorrow is still really slim” you explained
“I know” Hoseok said looking sad for a moment before he let out a deep breath  “but I still need you to be healthy and help us increase our chances” he said with a small smile
You rolled your eyes and smiled as your forked some of your food in your mouth. He was lucky that he was so damn cute otherwise you wouldn’t put up with his little shenanigans.  You got a few bites of food in your mouth enjoying the taste groaning at how good it was and loving the flavors of Hawaiian food. The meal was going great until Hoseok interrupted your foodgasm with…..
“so what kind of baby names do you like?”
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write-it-good-imagines · 5 years ago
Text
Game night - Im Jaebum
OH MY GOD HELLO EVERYONE! okay i’ll tone down the caps, *ahem*, I just have to say, this was so much fun to write! I want to thank @iwanttobejaebeomsslut for giving me this idea, lmao. It is Jaebum centered, but it also turned into Got7 game night 
ajsndjkefnjrfnjdcfndf, it’s better to leave you to read it yourselves! Enjoy
~5.3k words, excessive fun, fluff, romance
“Hyung, hyung, hyung! Is Y/n coming too?”
Jaebum turned his body abruptly to an overexcited Jackson. He quirked a brow as his friend waddled over to Mark, a goofy smile on his face.
“Well,” Mark nodded his head, pushing Jackson’s face away jokingly “She is the one who throws us the party after all. I guess her friends are coming too.”
“Wah, Jackson hyung, we are going to have fun then!” Bambam meddled in, bumping his fist to Jackson’s. 
Jinyoung playfully threw his arms around each of them, nudging Jackson with his hip. “Maybe it’s time for you to ask her out, huh?”
Jaebum approached Mark with a curious glint in his eyes. Youngjae and Yugyeom jumped in the commotion, building up their offense to tease Jackson about his transparent excitement. “Who are they talking about?”
“Ah, you don’t know.” Mark smiled at Jaebum. “Remember last time I went home, in LA? I invited Jackson and Bambam and my childhood friend offered to be their babysitter for the day while I spent time with my family. I’ve known her since we were like… infants. You might as well say she’s my younger sister.”
“Oh? She must have left a very good impression on Jackson if he’s this excited.” Jaebum laughed and stuffed his things in his bag. 
Mark tapped his chin with his index. “Well, she is his type somewhat. She told me the other day she got an internship at a company in Seoul but keep it a secret from Jackon. I am not in the mood for that.” 
The two older brothers chuckled and shook hands to seal their silent agreement. Jaebum approached the herd and clapped his hands in an attempt to grab their attention.
“All right, everyone! Practice is done for the day. Don’t forget we have a flight to catch in the morning.”
“That’s a reminder for you, hyung!” Yugyeom teased and took two steps back under Jinyoung’s deadly glare. All the others laughed in unison.
Youngjae checked a list that he made on his phone, making sure no small detail escaped his mind. “Mark hyung, is there anything we can help with? I feel a bit bad that the girls are organizing everything for us.”
“Those were the instructions, though,” Mark replied, raking a hand through his hair. “I think it was something along the lines ‘sit still and be pretty’.”
“It would do you no good to question that, Youngjae.” Jackson chimed in, gesturing dramatically with his hand. “Y/n is really stubborn.”
“Still, not all of us know her, or her friends.” Jinyoung reminded his friend. “It’s very nice of them.”
Jaebum fixed the cap on his head and smiled at his members, trying to mask and otherwise excited stance. Taking a break was always a nice thing; taking a break in LA with everyone was on another level. “Then all we have to do is make sure we have fun.”
The flight to LA felt relatively shorter than all of their other flights, partly thanks to the contagious excitement the foreign members had. The others were a tad worried about the language barrier but quickly dismissed the thoughts as soon as Mark assured them all of them spoke their language well. The boys started making all sorts of plans, from playing games to telling stories, to the undying game of rock-paper-scissors. It was a pleasant sight to see, being so excited. Jaebum wished nothing but the best for the boys.
However, he couldn’t deny that he was a little nervous. Leaving Jackson and Bambam aside who had already been introduced to the hosts, he was admittedly awkward around strangers. Easygoing as he considered himself to be, he needed some time to open up to people he had never met before, unlike the two who were living social butterflies. He was thankful, of course, that someone tossed their personal schedules aside to organize them something, but there was a certain anxiety in the back of his head.
Papa Tuan was the one to pick them up from the airport, the atmosphere drastically quieter as they did not make their arrival public. Mark went ahead to greet and hug his father and the others gathered around to welcome Mark’s father one at a time.
“Thank you for having us.” Jaebum stated as he shook Papa Tuan’s hand and dipped his head in a bow.
“What are you talking about, Jaebum?” he reciprocated with a laugh, patting the leader on the back. “We missed you guys! Staying at our house was the only option!”
The seven of them followed Mark’s father to his van and threw their luggage in the back, fighting for the comfortable front seats afterward. As soon as everyone was gathered inside the car, Bambam couldn’t push back his curiosity and he extended his neck from the back so Mark’s father could hear him over the blasting music.
“Say, Dad! I heard the girls organized a party for us! Are all of them single?”
Youngjae burst out in his resonating laughter and swat Bambam’s shoulder.  Soon, the van was filled with laughter.
“I’d say they are? All four of them are, I think. Y/n broke up with her boyfriend a while ago.”
“Hear, hear, Jackson.” Jinyoung winked at Jackson and won an embarrassed smile. The latter leaned over, placing his hand on Papa Tuan’s shoulder. 
“On a scale from one to ten, what are my chances?”
“As you are now, barely a 6.”
Mark and his father laughed together before Mark explained the joke to the others. The members followed their example. Jackson folded his arms over his chest and collapsed in his seat.
“Even so, I promise all of them are very nice girls. Aside from Y/n, whom we all have known ever since she was in diapers, Mark grew up with everyone. They are very nice girls. The boys apologized they wouldn’t stay long, all of them have night shifts.”
Jaebum looked out the window. However assuring Mark’s father was, he couldn’t tame the unknown feeling in his chest. He clicked his tongue as if preparing himself for a completely unforeseeable outcome.
 Papa Tuan finally parked the van outside of Mark’s house and he couldn’t contain his excitement as he noticed his mother and his younger brother, Joey, waiting for them outside. Mark got out rapidly and rushed over to glomp them in a tight hug, as well as indulging himself in their presence.
“I missed you guys!”
“Oof, such a big baby you are!” Mama Tuan laughed and wrapped her arms around her son. Joey walked over to the other members to greet them, executing the signature salute with Yugyeom which Bamabam immediately requested to learn. 
“I’m telling you, guys,” Joey began, giving Jackson his high-five “the house is going to be such a mess with you here!”
Jaebum shook his hands, panic imprinted on his features. “We won’t destroy anything.”
“You’d better not make a promise you cannot keep, hyung.” Youngjae chuckled and patted the leader on his shoulder. Jaebum swore it was going to be a long and anxious stay at the Tuan residence.
“Hey, Got7!” Mama Tuan called for the boys and all of them turned their attention to her. “Welcome home! Everyone is waiting for you inside!”
The boys didn’t need to be told a second time. Jaebum and Jinyoung stayed back to help with all the luggage as all the others crowded over to the house in turmoil. A loud cheer made Jaebum perk up and he followed everyone inside, a rather large gathering filling up the living with applause. The members exchanged glances among themselves and, under their leader’s guidance, they did their introduction with wide grins spreading on their features. A loud pop signaled a tube of confetti was brought forth.
As he looked up, Jaebum noticed a vast palette of balloons adorning the room with various messages written on them, mostly of a warm welcome. Everyone wore content smiles on their faces as they received the members and warmth engulfed his chest. He chuckled to himself when he saw three men distinctively dressed in formal attire and pitied them for having to go to work amidst such a party.
“Hey, Jackson, cat got your tongue?”
A mellow voice carried the English sentence vividly into the air and hypnotized Jaebum all at once. He tilted his head toward its master and his lips parted unintentionally at the sight of you. Your summer orange dress embraced your figure and emphasized the softness of your skin. The sunflower in your hair embellished your alluring characteristics but it truly was the elegance in your teasing smile that subdued Jaebum’s existence.
When Jackson rushed over to you and threw his arms around you so he could spin you around, Jaebum felt something click inside of him. The wide smile tugging at your lips as he sustained your body in his arms irked Jaebum down to his core. Although he would never admit that.
“Leader-nim,” Jinyoung nudged Jaebum in the ribs with his elbow as everyone scattered to introduce themselves to the hosts, “why do you look like you want to kill our Seunie?”
It took a moment to register Jinyoung’s words. “Huh? What are you talking about?”
“Eh, stop it!” Jinyoung laughed at his leader. “Your jealousy is showing, hyung.”
“Jealous?” Jaebum’s eyes widened and he scoffed. “Jealous of what? It’s okay, they know each other, it’s only natural.”
“Mhm. We’ll see about that.”
The sound of metal clinking against glass made everyone turn to Mark who found himself by your side. He spoke loudly, enthusiasm in the tone of his voice. “Now that all of us here, our dear host tonight and my oldest friend, Y/n, has an announcement to make!”
A bashful smile was sketched on your face as another fervid round of applause, accompanied by Bambam’s cheers, echoed in the house. “First of all, I welcome Mark and all of Got7 in LA! I hope you will have a pleasant stay here, with us.”
Jaebum nodded his head, his eyes curling into crescents. You continued.
“I know you might be tired from your flight as it is evening already and hungry and all that jazz, but we have to get this party started, right?”
Everyone responded in anticipation. “So I have a proposal to make for our dear boys!”
Jaebum blinked yet again, the clarity of his native tongue coming from your lips taking him by surprise, he had to unexpectedly adjust himself to the change. You turned to him and his eyes found yours effortlessly; the intensity of your orbs humbled him all of a sudden.
“I know some of you might protest because of ‘airport fashion’, Bambam,” you feigned a cough, “but what about we play a round of rock-paper-scissors to see who takes a short dive in the pool to open the fun?”
“Fuck airport fashion!” Bambam protested and walked forward, warming up his wrist. “You are taking a bath, Y/n.”
“Drown him.” Jinyoung chimed in, also getting ready for the game. Yugyeom draped his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders, cackling at the previous remark. The members gathered around you and your friends in no time, a childish aura of competition flooding the living. Jaebum was the last one to attach himself to the group, his body opposing yours. 
“Should we make four people? We are twelve in total.” Your friend’s proposition passed unanimously.
You looked up at Jaebum and offered him a tender smile. “Then shall we play, leader-nim?”
Jaebum lifted his eyes to look at you and clumsily dipped his head, visibly not accustomed to you and your enthralling voice. “Of course.”
You thought you heard Youngjae mocking his leader’s words in a deeper tone and Jaebum caught his gesture too, alas having no time to react. The game ended as fast as it started, miraculously deciding the losers in one round. The boys lost no time to film the unlucky ones, pushing a protesting Bambam along with Mark and two of your girlfriends to execute their penalty. You giggled as Bambam cried out in displeasure for his favorite jeans.
Jaebum approached you, his eyes focused on you rather than on the pandemonium around the pool. He cleared his throat. “As crazy as ever.”
You beamed up at him immediately, your hands clasped together. It was the most beautiful smile Jaebum had ever seen in his life. “They are so cute! They are so fun to have around.”
He couldn’t peel his eyes off you. There was no plausible reason for his actions, why he felt so awkward around your bright and easygoing nature and why he considered everything he wished to say to you twice before actually speaking it. Jaebum knew his silhouette was tense. “They are. I am so blessed to have them.”
“I envy you.” You chuckled and leaned your body over to him. “Can you help me carry the food outside? There’s no chance we move that here.”
Jaebum chuckled and agreed in a heartbeat. He followed you to the kitchen like a child would follow his mother faithfully everywhere. He was grateful he could at least express himself to you freely. “Thank you for this. It means a lot.”
You shook your head. “It’s nothing! Mark took me by surprise when he said all of you would come over for a few days and I wanted to make it special somehow. I hope it is fit to your liking.”
“How can it not be?” Jaebum questioned too fast for his liking. He hated to think you’d doubt yourself. “I don’t need to go out there to tell people are having fun.”
A sheepish smile painted your features and Jaebum couldn’t be more pleased with himself. Merely thinking he was the cause of your smile satisfied him. He helped you with the first set of fried chicken and fries to calm the hunger of the children outside. Much to your surprise, everyone evacuated the area, most likely to change their clothes and put on the swimsuits. There was only Mark and Youngjae outside, setting the table.
“Where’s everyone?” Jaebum inquired, placing the food down.
“Went upstairs to change for battle.” Mark laughed and approached you, giving you a proper welcoming hug. You swayed with him from side to side playfully but eyed him suspiciously. “Battle? What battle?”
“You know the chicken game? Jinyoung bet 20 dollars that Bambam and Yugyeom would not be able to defeat him and Jackson on a, quote, ‘confrontation’. And because we know our maknaes are young and restless, they agreed the losing team would do a sexy dance for all the girls.”
Jaebum covered his mouth with his hand in sheer shock. “And you just stood there and agreed?”
“What is the worst that can happen?” Youngjae stuffed his mouth with fries. “It’s a show however you see it. Literally.”
“Oh my God.” Jaebum sighed heavily. He could feel a headache kicking in prematurely. “There’s no way in hell we’re stopping that, are we?”
“Nope.” Mark and Youngjae bumped their fists together and you witnessed a rare sight of Jaebum at a loss for words. You tugged on his shirt and gestured to him to follow you inside, doing your best to contain your laughter.
“You know,” you began through the giggles, “it’s not a disaster.”
“Never underestimate those guys, Y/n.” he stated, defeated, and lifted a case of beer from the refrigerator. “You should run for your life while you have the chance.”
You carried two bottles of juice and pursed your lips for a second. “Why should I? I don’t mind receiving a sexy dance from one of you handsome males.”
“Should I do it myself, then?”
The clumsy wink Jaebum gave you, along with the mortified sliver of laughter that followed right after made a hue of pink color your cheeks. You watched Jaebum’s broad back as he walked with the drinks outside and bit into the plush of your lower lip. It was an entertaining offer.
You followed outside and the earthly fighters were getting ready for their so-called battle. The cocky attitude the two youngsters had amused you. The older brothers, on the other hand, were either booing or mocking them. The spectacle was just about to start. 
You nested yourself by Mark’s side who pulled you close to him. “Who do you wager is gonna win?”
“I have a horrid feeling Jackson and Jinyoung will have to move those hips for you soon.”
The two of you laughed and you looked up at him. “Missed you, bestie.”
“Missed you too, kiddo. Although, kiddo is not quite right.”
“Why? Do I finally become a woman in your eyes?”
Mark poked your nose before pointing to Jaebum who seated himself by the side of the pool, somehow enjoying the uproar despite his protests. “Not me.”
Your best friend took charge of the speakers and opened the big gala with David Guetta’s song, ‘Club can’t handle me’. You dug your nails into the palm of your hand, trying to dismiss Mark’s words. He had always loved teasing you and you tried not to take it to heart. It was reasonably fair to say Jaebum couldn’t have taken an interest in you.
You followed your girls and plopped down next to Youngjae and Jaebum who were aggressively munching on the chicken. The splashing of water indicated the clash had started and you extended your hand to the bowl of fries, watching intently. It was both a comical and serious match, nothing but absurd. It was a close match, with the guys fooling around with one another until Yugyeom took a mischievous step to Jackson who was sustaining Jinyoung on his shoulders and cracked an opening. Bambam seized the momentum of Jinyoung losing balance and pushed him into the pool, erupting in celebration. The maknaes bumped their chests and mocked the disturbed Jackson and Jinyoung.
“Show me the money, losers!” Yugyeom wiggled his hand and earned a huge reaction from the spectators. 
“While you’re at it, shake that ass for me too!” Bambam completed and it was the last straw to make Youngjae explode in laughter. Jinyoung would have drowned Yugyeom if it hadn’t been for the oppressing embarrassment of their loss.
“Oh, they are so dead.” Your friend commented and tied her hair in a messy bun. “Guess it’s time to dance.”
“Hey Jackson,” Mark yelled, “what should Bree play for you? Do you have any preference?”
Yugyeom clapped his hands frantically and helped set the chairs for the girls. You allowed yourself to be dragged by your friend to one of the designated seats, laughing under your breath.
“You’d better entertain us, Jinyoung hyung!” Youngjae took a deep breath. Jinyoung ruffled his hair with a towel and then threw it at the vocalist. He grabbed a bottle of beer for himself and downed it in one shot under the devoted cheers of both of the maknaes. 
“Jackson, you got me into this mess, better give them something worth staring at.”
“How is it you’re the one excited for this?!” Jackson squealed and placed a hand over his bare chest. All the eyes were on him and Yugyeom let out a whistle. “Look at the muscles, Jackson hyung!”
When Rihanna’s ‘Wild thoughts’ started playing, it was safe to assume everyone collectively lost their cool. You couldn’t bear to look at the abashed protagonists but you also knew they wouldn’t get away without doing anything, especially because they lost to their youngest members. Something had to happen to satisfy their curiosity. Everyone else gathered around you and the girls, sly glints in their eyes. 
The humiliation on Jackson’s face disappeared as soon as he walked over to you, opening the show with a slow and controlled body roll, his defined abdomen contracting with every movement. He thrust his hips forward and inched closer to you, effectively seating himself above you as he kept on rolling his hips back and forth. You added fuel to the fire as you attached your fingertips to his chest, sheepishly pushing him away only for him to draw closer to you. Jinyoung was doing fine on his own too. Following Jackson’s example, he ran his hand down his torso and bit his lip as he rolled his body majestically, then curled his fingers into your best friend’s wild locks. 
And although Jaebum was smiling on the outside, he was reeking of dissatisfaction. He had no reason to; by all means, he wasn’t entitled to judge you for anything but if he could change something about those events unraveling, he would have seated himself above you, right where Jackson was.
“Jesus Christ, give me something to cool down. I could have died.” You joked as soon as the song ended, causing the spectators to erupt in laughter. You ruffled your hair and caught Jaebum staring at you; he looked away.
“Now we talk!” Bambam went over to a vexed Jinyoung and scarcely avoided a punch. “Cheer up hyung, not even strippers move as you do. You should be proud.”
“Boys, warn us the next time you buckle your hips like this, alright?” Bree chuckled and offered you a bottle of beer. “What would your majesties say about a game of beer pong? The winner decides what we play next.”
Jinyoung waved his hand dismissively and leaned down on the grass. “I’ll sit this one out. I need time to glue my integrity back.”
“Ay, hyung, you do that on stage all the time.” Yugyeom teased and hid behind you in fear. “Boys against girls?”
“Sounds good to me.” You smiled. “Who’s gonna play, guys?”
The members gathered around and started discussing their strategy. It was unanimous that Youngjae and Mark should play, based on their high tolerance of beer. Jackson proposed Bambam play in his stead and Jaebum turned to him at his odd remark. Their leader was chosen to be the fourth participant. They put their hands together to do their lucky chant and scattered. Jackson placed his hand on Jaebum’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry I overstepped the line earlier. I wouldn’t, had I noticed the way you look at her.”
Jaebum chuckled dryly. “Nonsense, Jackson. That’s nothing to apologize for. Whatever did you do wrong, anyway?”
“Hyung.” Jackson cocked his eyebrow. “I think everyone noticed by now. And I won’t be the one to ignore it. You’re too blatant, you know? Take the chance.”
Jaebum watched Jackson walk away and let out an annoyed sigh. 
You returned from the house with a brand new deck of cards and placed yourself in the middle of the human circle everyone formed. The night enveloped the nature imperceptibly, the tenderness of the late spring leaving an unusually warm air in its wake. Sparkling dots in the sky made for a splendid tableau and the timid sound of crickets harmoniously completing the acoustic tunes of the playlist. 
“Ladies and gentlemen,” you began in a stern voice, “I present you a little game me and my girls came up with. It’s called the next card.”
“Suggestive.” Mark chuckled and lunged for one of the cookies on the tray.
You rolled your eyes at him. “You pick a type of card you want to play with, either the king, or number four, any of the existing types of cards in the deck, and you put all four of them in a separate deck with what everyone else chooses. Not by clubs or diamonds, but by number. We shuffle them and announce a dare.”
“Oh, so the card that is pulled out has to do said dare?” Jinyoung questioned, sharing the remaining fries with your best friend.
“Correct. The fun thing is we don’t know who’s next. It could be me four times in a row for all we know.”
“Question!” Jackson raised his hand. “Can we make something like ‘the next two cards’ do this or that?”
You nodded your head. “Makes it even more interesting.”
“But we can also ask things, like in truth or dare?” Jaebum looked up at you and you nodded once again.
“However, we are a bit tipsy.” You stated and everyone else agreed through a laugh. “Will anyone have a guilty conscience if we do…certain things?”
Bambam folded his legs. “Does this get dirty real quick?”
Yugyeom smacked him. “It’s you who’s the perverted one here.”
“When we used to play with our friends in college, we used to put something like ‘the next two cards kiss’ or ‘the next card fakes an orgasm’. That’s why we ask beforehand.” Bree completed and nudged Youngjae for another bottle. “We could play it without this kind of things if you feel uncomfortable.”
Jinyoung extended his arm to take the deck from your hands, looking for his desired card. Jackson gave him a subtle look before leaning over to whisper something indistinctive in his ear. 
“I think we’re all okay with that, are we not, guys?” said Mark and was met by no protest. Jinyoung divided half of the deck with Jackson to help choose everyone’s cards and then boasted his ability to shuffle the cards. He proved to be proficient. You seated yourself in between Mark and Bree just as Jinyoung put the cards in your previous spot.
“Wait, wait, wait.” Bambam interrupted hurriedly, a disgusted look on his face. “So if it’s the next two cards kiss and it’s me and Jaebum hyung, does this mean I kiss him?”
“Hey.” Jaebum scoffed at him. “What’s wrong with kissing me?”
Jackson challenged the first card. “You in, or you out, Bam-ah.”
Bambam muttered a silent prayer in his native language and got cackles out of both Jinyoung and Yugyeom. “He shudders at the thought of kissing Beom.”
You looked at Jaebum who was seated opposite to you and he seemed personally attacked by Bambam’s little antic. You chuckled under your breath. His unhappy expression was adorable.
“Let’s take it slow then. Next card dives into the pool.”
“Let’s take it slow, says Jackson hyung.” Youngjae started laughing when the flipped card belonged to the owner of the dare. 
“Well, fuck.” Jackson snickered and threw himself in the water with no second thoughts. All of his members applauded his efforts diligently. Jinyoung was waiting for him with a towel. “Express your wish, Seun-ah.”
Jackson ran his fingers through his wet hair and Bree let out a gasp. All eyes were fast to turn to her before the public cracked up. “It’s not my fault he’s so disrespectful!”
The game continued cheerfully, with dares stretching in a vast domain, growing from eating grass to Bambam licking Yugyeom’s neck and the main vocal watching his soul leave his body as he faked out the sultriest moan he could muster. Anxiety grew as the game took a sharp turn, hands hovering indecisively over the cards. There was a general air of expectancy in the crowd.
“Now to the main attraction of the night,” Bree cleared her throat, trying to compose herself after giving a twerking class, “The next two cards share a beautiful French kiss.”
You clenched your fists. Your card failed to show up during the last few turns and it was a high possibility it could appear at that moment. There were also more boys so it was almost inevitable you would be paired with one of them. Jinyoung extended his body to tend to the cards, wiggling his fingers above them.
“Now, now, now, who should we call out?”
“Stop the bewitching, Jinyoung!” Mark threw a cookie at him and turned his body to Jaebum’s direction. “You might summon Bambam and Jaebum from the abyss of romance.”
Bambam refrained from making any comment. Notwithstanding some member’s objections, the first card flipped was, indeed, Jaebum’s. The leader covered his face with his hands, all the other boys going in a frenzy. They couldn’t miss a chance to explore their leader’s suffering.
“It can’t be. I swear to God, if Jaebum hyung and Bambam kiss, I will sign up for mental counseling.”
“Sign me up for that too, Youngjae hyung. I can picture Bambam drinking bleach.”
“These brats.” Jaebum growled from behind his hands before straightening his body to accept his fate. “Come on, flip the next.”
Jackson hissed and reached out for a dignified pat on the shoulder. “That’s a true man for you.”
Jinyoung poked out the tip of his tongue and slid his finger over the back of the card in anticipation. The look in his eyes was that of a man who knew what was coming next. Jackson folded his arms over his chest, the same twinkle in his chocolate orbs. Jinyoung put the card next to Jaebum’s and you widened your eyes in a stupor. It was yours.
Looks were quickly darted back and forth between the two of you, a bizarre silence absorbing the curiosity of all the people present. Jaebum looked at his card, then at you. Mark shoved your side lightly.
“I mean, we don’t have to kiss if you don’t want to, Jaebum.”
No other team in the world could synchronize as well as Got7 did when they turned to their leader.
“Huh? But I want to.”
You unconsciously pointed to yourself, forsaking any attempt to form coherent words. Jaebum smirked at you as he stood up to walk over to you, offering his hand to help you stand up.
“Look at him, being all sleek.” Bambam clicked his tongue, shaking his head in the process. Jinyoung retreated victoriously to his previous spot, Jackson taking a hold of his shoulders to cling to him. Mark sent Jaebum a wink when you took his hand.
“Go ahead, we won’t watch.” Youngjae stated but failing to disguise the keen interest in his voice. 
A laugh escaped your lungs and you leaned your forehead into the crook of Jaebum’s neck. He circled an arm around your waist, a grin of his own expanding on his lips. When push comes to shove, his members were but supportive so they started chanting the magic word, deepening the bashfulness in your chest. 
“We have to give the public what the public wants, Y/n.” Jaebum whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You pulled back and locked your arms around his neck, a velvety smile directed to him only. 
“Let us obey, then.”
Jaebum leaned in and bound his lips to yours. You closed your eyes at once, melting into the softness of his touch and the addicting sweetness of his lips. Jaebum lost no time to part your lips with his tongue, deepening the kiss with masterful movements. You dissolved into him, detaching yourself from the hoots and cheers echoing in your ears, and indulge yourself in the sinful ecstasy. You were not sure of it but it felt as if Jaebum longed for you.
You pulled away from the kiss and Jaebum leaned in to steal another peck from you. You lowered one hand to his chest and glared gleefully at him. He chuckled and sent you a cunning wink.
“Get a room!” Jackson yelled. “The tension is so thick I need a halberd to cut through.”
“Fuck off.” You laughed at him and reluctantly released yourself from Jaebum’s arms. He didn’t even bother to conceal the satisfaction. All the more to let you know.
“It’s my turn now, huh?” you plopped down next to Mark who poked your lower back to gain a secret handshake. You adopted a smug look as your eyes fell on the cards. 
“Next card lists his three favorite kinks.”
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beerecordings · 5 years ago
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I was thinking about that Therapy AU (ish. thing. question mark?) that you brainstormed a few months back, and I find myself wondering—which of the boys realized “oh hey, I should probably see a therapist” first? And what was the impetus? (Jackie. I’m asking about Jackie. I want to know the story behind how Jackie found his Alderian/Adlerian duder and why he sprung for it. Also the thing about who came first, but Jackie. My boy. Im lov him)
lol yeah you’re right it’s not so much an au as something that i’d like to be canon in just about every universe i come up with lollll. but yeah hm…
I think Henrik goes to see a therapist first because he’s been through literal hell and there’s no way he can handle any of this without professional help. and everybody knows that, you know, like… it’s easier to justify some reasons to go than others. so even though everybody probably needs it they’re all here like “oh GEEZ someone else has had it SO MUCH WORSE than me so HE’S going to therapy” and they all end up ganging up on Henrik with their love and support like “yeah bud you need to see somebody please we’re worried about you!!” and it’s hard to argue when he’s both physically and mentally exhausted so he just ends up letting them take him. he doesn’t have his existentialist therapist at first, that’s too intensive for his mental energy at the time, but he just sees a nice calm therapist who really helps him deal with some of the outstanding issues and find ways to hold on when he’s really bad off. and the others are all so excited and supportive but for some reason when he recommends they try it too, they seem to think he’s joking?
then Chase gets court-ordered to therapy and he’s like “FUCK fine!!” and it makes him sob his heart out every week and he feels so dumb and weak and stupid for like two months before he starts to come around to it. and it’s Henrik who really convinces him that it’s okay, and then eventually it actually starts to help?? and he gets to see the kids again!!! ahh!!! it’s a good time! he and Henrik start scheduling their appointments at the same time so they can get lunch together first and then walk home together too.
JJ gets pressured by the family to join them after he starts getting into some really bad habits like getting into fights and tearing his fists open beating up his punching bag and staring at his razor for long enough that Henrik gets scared and practically drags him there himself (he would not go but he hates to see Henrik so nervous and upset). Marvin has a complete breakdown after years of being the family tough guy without crying once in front of the others and they all get freaked out and ask him to go see somebody for their sake if nothing else (he would not go but when his little brothers look at him like that) and then Jackie is there like “good job guys! I’ll just be over here! love you! :)”
cause the thing is Marvin had convinced himself that he has to be tough enough to deal with everything he goes through in silence, but Jackie is WORSE because he’s just convinced himself he doesn’t have anything to deal with. He’s the big brother, first of all, so he just doesn’t have time for that, and he’s a hero, so nothing’s going to get to him anyway, of course. and then he just hasn’t been through as much as the others, right? Henrik and JJ with Anti, and Chase with his family, and his poor Marv must have been dealing with so much so quietly for so long, and if Jackie had just been a better brother to him he wouldn’t have HAD to do that, he wouldn’t have had to hide anything from anyone, he’d come to Jackie instead of hiding his problems but he doesn’t because he doesn’t trust him enough and that’s because of Jackie’s failures and ALL OF THIS IS JACKIE’S FAULT -
yeah, no, no problems! he’s good! he’s cruising! He doesn’t have it that bad he’s fine! he only struggles sometimes cause he’s a baby, right? he should toughen up, after all he heard Henrik sobbing last night and he has it so much worse, he’s been through so much, Jackie needs to look like everything’s okay so Henrik feels safe and calm. and then everything will be better and everything will be fine. once his brothers are fine, he’ll be fine.
and then his brothers are fine.
he stops, pauses, looks around.
Chase is out with the kids, sober for a year straight. JJ’s just got a new job and he seems happy and well-adjusted. Henrik’s showing his scars without freaking out and has been dealing with his panic attacks well. Marvin admits he had a bad day but says he’s going to make tomorrow a better one! Jackie’s never heard him say anything like that in his life and he seems to mean it, what the hell is happening?
all his brothers are fine and he’s still not… what is happening…. if everyone’s okay why does he still feel so bad about himself?
The others want to go to family therapy now. Apparently JJ’s therapist keeps recommending it because so many of his issues come back to worrying about upsetting the others, and then Marvin’s therapist agrees, and they’re all pretty comfy with therapy by now, and they want to go, they want to try it. and of course he’s not going to turn them down!! yeah, they need him to be the calm big brother in the room, keeping everything together, making sure they’re all safe? of course! he’ll come and support them all!! he’s a little bit terrified at the very prospect but they need this so he’ll do it, he can do it! for their sake. if it’s for their sake it’s okay, it’s permissible, and it’s not weak because it’s not for him, it’s for them.
and then they get in there and it’s so much messier than he expected. first of all the therapist right away goes “so everyone is seeing a therapist personally but you, Jackie” and he goes hot red and feels all his brothers looking at him and makes up something about not needing that and he sees Henrik turn away from him when he says it. and then she keeps trying to draw him into it and he hates that, this wasn’t what he planned, he just wanted to sit here and tell everyone they were doing great!! and then, oh, hell, everything is coming out. everything is coming bleeding out of his brothers and it’s messy and it’s ugly and he’s not a bystander, he’s a part of it, they even say his name sometimes, they even seem to accuse him sometimes. it’s not what he expected, it’s not at all what he expected, it’s not Chase going “I’m sad sometimes when you’re sad Marvin” and Marvin going “oh no I’m sad when you’re sad let’s work on this :’((” it’s like Jameson saying “I can’t tell any of you ANYTHING because half the time you treat me like an infant and the other half of the time you get so upset that even though I want to confide in you I can’t because I know it’ll send you all spiraling, I feel like I’m not allowed to be fucking suicidal but I am and I can’t trust any of you to deal with me - ” and then before he knows it Jackie is fucking sobbing in the therapy room so hard they all have to be done for the day and JJ is sitting there staring at him like he’s just proven his point and the guilt comes crashing down and he feels like he’s dying and he REFUSES to go back next week.
they’re all upset and JJ won’t talk to him. he WON’T go back to that, that was so horrible and humiliating, he’s not doing that again, he’s NEVER trying therapy again.
his brothers go to family therapy without him. that’s fine. that’s good. they’re allowed to. he waits for things to go back to normal.
they don’t.
JJ never talks to him anymore, not about the things that matter. He says there’s no bad blood between them and most likely that’s true, but the fact is he just doesn’t trust him. can’t confide in him. Jackie starts to feel sick every time they’re together, wondering if his baby brother is suicidal right now and just hiding it from him, sitting there doing his embroidery with a movie playing on the couch, thinking about killing himself. Jackie’s starting to get upset more often. Jackie’s starting to crumble. everyone is fine, for the most part. he doesn’t want to upset that. doesn’t want to put the burden of himself on their shoulders. he’s being such a fucking baby. why is he crying himself to sleep again every night? why did he have to go hide in the bathroom for five minutes at the restaurant yesterday because someone said the word antifreeze? why does Chase teasing him about taking the last piece of cake make him want to die so badly? why isn’t he ever happy anymore? Marvin asks him if he wants to go to the arcade and he doesn’t, he isn’t up for it. energy’s gone. hasn’t had much for a long time but he could bury the exhaustion from their sight and that was all that matters. Jamie accidentally cuts his thumb one day in the kitchen and Jackie wants in and sees the blood dripping onto his wrist and he loses it, he loses it, he’s screaming, he’s shouting at JJ, and Jameson just stands there and takes it, Jameson stands there staring at him when everybody else is shouting at Jackie to cut it out, stop it, what the hell Jackie? Jamie is still standing there in silence when Jackie has a full meltdown on the kitchen floor, followed promptly by a miserable, silent, exhausted shutdown that lasts for two days afterwards.
he goes back to family therapy. it isn’t really working. he’s really tired and sad and every time someone tries to confront him about an issue in their family he might be involved in he immediately starts crying and apologizing again and again, taking all the blame on his shoulders, promising them they didn’t do anything wrong even if they did, not accepting comfort or apologies from any of them, everything’s his fault, he promises he’ll fix it, he’ll never go out on patrol again if that’s what they want. and it’s so uncomfortable for everyone and soon family therapy starts turning into “tip-toeing around Jackie while Jackie feels miserable and gets worse” and their therapist tells them this isn’t working anymore.
You need to go to a therapist, they start telling him.
I’ve been going with you all the time, he says.
No, they say, you need to go to a therapist.
Oh.
Well, he can’t do that.
Well, why not? Huh?
Because he just can’t.
Because that’s not who he is.
Why isn’t it who he is?
Jackie, why?
Jackie, say something, say anything.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Because he’s not allowed to be that. He’s not allowed to need help. He’s got to keep them safe - you don’t - I do!
fuck’s sake, Jackie. You can’t keep doing this anymore. You just can’t.
I know, he says. I know.
but he won’t go even when it’s all sitting out in the open and everyone’s staring at him like they’re waiting for him to shatter into glass because the family therapist was not what he needed and he’s scared of the questions and the feeling of being torn apart and the conflict and the sadness and he thinks all therapy’s like that and it’s not for him and he won’t go. and then one day sweet little brother number three comes and lays down with him and hugs him real tight and puts himself right there in Jackie’s arms so his big brother gets to hold him and push their heads together and hear his heartbeat and feel him rubbing at his shoulder. and Chase has probably waited for a soft calm night to tell him this but there’s this really cool thing his therapist recommended for Jackie’s sake where you don’t have to talk at all in therapy if you don’t want to. they just give you this great sand and you can run your hands all over it and then they get all these like toys and models and things out and they ask you questions like “tell me about a time when you were happy” and you just have to build, man, and work from there. and he knows he’s been so sad and tired lately and he wants him to try it because he loves him and didn’t Jackie used to try and convince him to go too?
and you wouldn’t see me as a failure if i went? and you wouldn’t think you had to take care of me? and it wouldn’t be weird for you? and you wouldn’t make fun of me for it? and nobody would ask me too many questions? and i could just build?
and Chase gives him a lot of no’s and one good solid yes, yeah, bud, you can just build, and Jackie goes two weeks later and sits down with the sand and the toys in front of him and just lets it all go and, in plastic houses and little figurines that remind him of his family and the cool soothing weight of the sand in his hands, he tells the truth at last, without ever speaking once.
plus his therapist is really funny and sweet and positive and warm with him. and she keeps going “just between you and me” and he grins and knows he can tell her anything and it doesn’t have to come back and hurt his brothers at all if he doesn’t want it to, he can even say Forbidden Horrible things like “it makes me angry when he does this” or “I wanted to kill that man that night and it scared me how strong I was” and “sometimes I think I’m just as much a mistake as Anti was” and slowly, slowly, they start to work on it. and he learns to apologize respectfully and fairly, without being accidentally manipulative, and he learns to take care of them in a way that he couldn’t before, and he learns that he’s important too, and needed and loved, even if he isn’t strong or positive or perfect every day of every year.
they start going back to family therapy once he’s ready. they keep getting more and more tools to help them put themselves and each other back together again. it’s a good fit after all.
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