#im easily emotional about character relationships so these two might own my heart (maybe even mind) for a while

[aldebarangel]

just started season 3! i really enjoyed jon and martin's early dynamic, i do wonder how things between them will go from now on considering yk.. everything that just happened in the s2 finale and after

[opalescient]

haikyuu fic recs — the most beautiful, lovely, breathtaking masterlist (vol. I)

so i’ve been binging fics to cure my sadness, and i thought that these select masterpieces were too magnificent to not be plastered on every billboard ever. some tore my soul into shreds, while others melted said shreds back whole, but all of them made me feel some form of sheer, unadulterated love, so. please enjoy! 🥰⛅️✨

note: all of these fics are exquisite and you should read all of them, but if you’re short of time, those with ☆ are my all-time favourites!

daisuga

butterfly in the subway by bigspoonnoya ☆ | T

Sugawara Koushi has no idea he's already in love with the man he's supposed to hate.

i lovelovelove how all the concepts tied in together like a perfectly wrapped gift

also very wholesome, made me feel so inexplicably warm. like, love can exist everywhere!!! despite everything!!! that’s just so inspiring

i revisited this many times, i think it was (one of) my first haikyuu fics and honestly. it set the bar so high and i have no regrets

you’d fit my lonely arms so perfectly by boxofwonder ☆ | G

“Oh. You're. Not Asahi.”

Calmed down enough that he can speak again, Daichi takes a deep breath, his smile settling on his face easily and wide.

“Not as far as I know, no.”

-

Suga accidentally calls a stranger instead of his best friend, tells him all about his burned batch of cookies before realising, and that particular mistake might turn out the best one he ever made.

major, major fluff

the buildup!!!

god this made my yearning for love so much worse

the perfect stranger by downmoon | T

There’s a man standing outside Suga's door.

Scratch that. Start over.

There’s a man he doesn’t know standing outside his door, holding his sleeping nephew in one arm, with another kid clinging tightly to his free hand.

so domestic please read the entire series from start to finish it has my whole heart

shoyou and tobio as their actual kids 🥺

these two parents are so in love it makes me wanna cry

asanoya

silica sand by lilien passe ☆ | G

Overworked, over-stressed programmer Azumane Asahi works on the top floor of a Shinjuku skyscraper. Nervous around his coworkers and terrified of the long drop on the other side of the window, Asahi falls into a miserable routine, only to have it broken one day by a simple message on the outside of the glass.

PLEASE. so well-written it makes my heart glow and ache simultaneously

made me ascend into asanoya heaven

such a brilliantly unique concept i love it A+

qué syrah syrah by loudlucy | M

Asahi wants to be a Master Sommelier. It's the highest honor in wine service, and the certification would allow him to live the life he's always envisioned for himself. Too bad the certification test is notorious for being the world's most difficult.

Most people fail their first time taking the exam, and Asahi is no exception, but he has more difficulty than most dusting himself off and getting back on his feet. Enter Nishinoya, a young man who shares his same dream, and who believes in their goals so fiercely it forces Asahi to embark on a delicious and sensuous journey of viticulture and validation.

AKA The Wine Tasting AU that literally no one even knew to ask for.

NOTE: You Do Not Need to Know About Wine to Understand This Fic!

another super unique concept!!! (´∀｀=)

my god their chemistry is amazing

the writing made me feel things ngl

stop my bones from wondering by cerasi ☆ | T

After graduation, Asahi hides from the world and needs help from a few sources to find his way back.

i want to write sonnets and sing ballads for this fic, it’s that beautiful

as always, Top Notch Writing *chef’s kiss*

no but i seriously... can i kiss the author? asking for a friend 😳👉🏼👈🏼

iwaoi

star-crossed by starlitcities | T

“I never thought I’d see the day that I’d envy a human,” Oikawa admits, showering himself in tiny suns, because he can actually feels those, like a fusillade of warm kisses on luminous skin that leave marks. To humans, they’d be freckles. Skin stars, Oikawa calls them. He didn’t make that up, a human did.

“Who created the rule that we can’t touch, I wonder,” Iwaizumi ponders, floating heedlessly through space.

“Maybe it’s because we can fly. Humans dream of flying, right?”

“I don’t think so.”

gsjsgsjshsjshsjsj star!iwaoi

they’re LITERALLY STARS

beautifulbeautifulbeautiful i love how the author conveyed the beauty of touch and humanity 🥺🥺

please bless yourself further with the sequel sun-kissed

conquering the great king by suggestivescribe ☆| E

Iwaizumi blinked his gaze over to Oikawa, "Last time was supposed to be a one time thing," he said, voice low, lacking some conviction.

Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"

yes.

in fact, this entire series (breaking the rules) features daisuga, kuroken, asanoya and it’s SO GOOD. every single one.

but anyway, character development!!!!! plot!!!!!!!!! writing!!!!!!!! i’m here for it all

tsukkiyama

campfire in your chest by deanpendragon ☆ | M

Kei realizes in their second year of high school that he’s probably been in love with Yamaguchi since they were ten. However hopeless he might be in handling that situation, Kei prays he’s at least not as hopeless as Hinata and Kageyama. But he just might be.

SO BEAUTIFUL

i am also a sucker for anything with stars, moons and all the love in between

no words to describe this work of art please just go read it and be blessed

under the lilac tree by raewrites | G

there’s a lilac tree in Kei’s backyard.

gorgeous in its simplicity

softtsukkisofttsukkisofttsukki

not as grandiose as the rest but the love written into every word, action and character is absolutely show-stopping

kagehina

saffron and cayenne pepper by dontsaycrazy ☆ | T

Cooking is hard. Even if you have your very attractive, very grumpy neighbor there to help you.

-

In which Hinata's lack of cooking skills are a danger to him and others. Luckily (or not), Kageyama is willing to teach him, if only for the sake of avoiding any burned down apartments.

the essence of their characters were captured so well and yet it’s like they’re completely new characters too? author, whoever you are, you totally owned this

this made me ship kagehina so hard

fluff! cuteness! lots and lots of cooing!

kuroken

the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) by cosmogony ☆ | T

soulmate

/ˈsəʊlmeɪt/ • noun

A person who was made from the same star as you.

-

// Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives.

ahhh here it is. beautiful, heartbreaking, soul-emptying agony. you want angst? choke on this, and your tears later on.

no but seriously please read this if you haven’t you won’t regret it at all i promise

written from kenma’s perspective so you experience every depth and multitude of emotion he does and it’s so raw and- brb imma go cry for a sec

knot in my heart by hearthope | T

There’s a picture. Kenma blinks, looking at the little calico cat, being held up next to the face of a guy with stupidly messy hair and a crooked grin.

Cute.

The— the cat. The cat is cute.

Just the cat.

-

Kuroo starts spending a lot of time at the flower shop Kenma works at. Kenma definitely isn't into him.

okay so i like it when authors unravel a normally stoic character’s full scope of emotion and give them depth, sue me.

anyway, back on the fluff train!

i absolutely f*ck with flower symbolisms, cats and bitchy best friends who have dirt on each other. the layers of romance, friendship and everything in between is so prettily developed 10/10

bokuaka

the jacket you never returned by daisuga ☆☆ | G

He leaned over, kissed Bokuto on the cheek, and smiled bitterly, eyes watery.

He will never remember. Not now, not ever.

What they were will now forever be forgotten.

-

"You used to call me Keiji, Koutarou."

YOU USED TO CALL ME KEIJI, KOUTAROU!!!!!!!!!!

i beg you to listen to Spiegel im Spiegel when it’s first mentioned in the story please

i read this and screamed through my tears for a solid 1.5 hours. i rarely cry.

no f*ckin regrets though i read this thrice already and it hurts so good every time

rules by conesofdunshire ☆☆ | E

In which Akaashi Keiji is an overworked accountant who stumbles upon Bokuto one night playing the piano in the lobby of his work. Bokuto is different, that much is obvious. But with such supreme musical talent and a smile so dazzling it rivals the sun, there's just something about him that brings Akaashi back every night.

this fic. this fic has my whole, broken, sobbing heart and laughing soul

gorgeous. breathtaking. magnificent.

bokuto is so WARM and akaashi is so STRONG and they both find the solace they need in each other and it’s all i want for me 😭😭😭

in another life by littleluxray | T

Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.

The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.

this is a famous fic that i doubt any seasoned haikyuu reader wouldn’t know, and RIGHTLY SO BECAUSE, the PAIN. the pain. the pain.

i could feel my lungs shrivel up and my chest cave in on itself. fatigue and rest are things i struggle with too so this whole story resonated with me from start to finish, and it broke me. in like, the best, most revitalising way

i would read this again but it still haunts me at night. i need to heal from the first time before i have the guts to try one more time HAHAHA 😆💔😭

tea-stained polaroids by dalyeau | G

“I'm gonna date that,” Bokuto declares solemnly, and Kuroo throws a plastic spoon at his head.

mmmmmmm pretty photographer + personalised coffee cups + cute baristas = diabetic fluff fic

i smiled so much throughout this you have no idea. cheeks achey but so good

i may have squealed a little at the ending

kurotsukki

moonfall by batman | T

There is no unlearning Tetsurou, after all. There is only leaving him.

-

(Five things of Tetsurou's that ended up in Kei's home, and one that never left.)

the writing!!!!!! is pure beauty!!!! sheer grace!!!!!!! the construction of the AU and the romanticism and hsjsgsjshsj

didn’t cry but. heart ache and bittersweet smiles are another level of misery that is just as fulfilling

yea just pleasepleasepleaseplease go read it thank you and have a good day

hidden gem by realmSpinner | E

Things get complicated when everything you thought you knew about a guy changes, and they get even more complicated when you actually start liking those changes.

That guy working with you AND becoming your neighbor? That's just a cherry on top of the cake of confusion.

this AU was refreshingly different, and amazingly so

top!tsukki??? sign me the f*ck up

the whole plot, man. perfection.

pings by barfs ☆☆ | T

[5/02/16, 3:50:17 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Please wake up.

[5/02/16, 3:50:23 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I hate begging. You know I hate it.

[5/02/16, 3:50:34 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I bet you’re snickering at that, wherever you are.

[5/02/16, 3:50:53 AM] Tsukishima Kei: But, it keeps hurting and I don’t know why and it feels like shit and I know you could tell me why, but you’re not here and I would really appreciate it if you’d just wake up.

[5/02/16, 3:51:02 AM] Tsukishima Kei: You’re laughing at that too, aren’t you.

[5/02/16, 3:51:10 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Dying is probably up there in the list of top ten shitty things you’ve ever done, and you’ve done a lot of shitty things.

god.

you already know what’s coming, and yet. when it comes.

how the f*ck did the author make grief beautiful????????? (at the expense of me dying along with kei and everyone else i guess)

this fic will ruin you and bury you under all your pain (i hope you’re ready)

but also put you back together with the “sequel”

kyouhaba

close to the chest by darkmagicalgirl | T

It takes Yahaba thirteen years to realize he's different from the other kids, one to figure out how to hide it, and two more to learn to be happy just the way he is. Yahaba's journey ft. an extremely annoyed Kyoutani, best friend in the world Watari, and loads and loads of good senpai Oikawa.

cause i’m (not) alright with the slow, burn~

no fr, take slow and burn very seriously

overthinking yahaba? i understand. i do.

again, such an amazing fic; 10/10 recommend

safe here by crossbelladonna ☆ | M

“Raids are routine work,” Kyoutani tells to Yahaba before he can air the question. “Sometimes there is no sleep done until we accomplish something, say kill a certain ghoul. I guess they’re still going through the possibility that people in the accident are still alive huh?”

Yahaba quirks a smile, pushing his mask up his head.

“You’re alive.”

Kyoutani looks at him intently and all of the things that they’ve gone through for the past month seems to flash in his mind.

“Yes I am.”

i haven’t watched tokyo ghoul but i understood everything perfectly. such is the power of f*cking kickass writing

*cue ugly crying and a lot of unresolved angst*

like the grief??????? ruin me please thank you 🙏 (i think i’m a little masochistic)

rare pairs

mannequin men by surveycorpsjean ☆ | M

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tuskishima]

The modelling world is full of hungry wolves, constantly clambering over the other, snarling and desperate. They fight, and they kill, trampling over anything in their path.

In this case, Akaashi fell in love with the wolves.

i did not expect this to be good, and it wasn’t. it was SPLENDID.

akaashi is so enamoured with them from the get go i love it

a tiny bit of angst that stabbed me in the heart, but the happy ending soothed it (thankfully, because if there wasn’t one i will sue)

characterisation, writing, plot development; everything is great. can you tell i’m running out of synonyms for ‘beautiful’

feel like gold by heronfem ☆☆ | T

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/kenma]

In which Kenma is unapologetic and comfortable with who he is, Akaashi learns a lot about himself in a short period of time, Kuroo is wildly in love and an eternal survivor, and Bokuto remembers that love doesn't cure mental illness, but having a support system sure helps a lot.

Or, the one where 4 young men get together, and are helplessly, hopelessly, utterly in love despite everything.

e.e. cummings?? poetry??? f*ck yes

so beautiful. i’m so star-struck by this fic it’s simply stunning

there are no words to fully capture how worth your time and heart and mind reading this fic is so please. do yourself a favour, and fall in love with this fic with me

the sky and guilt are the only feelings i have left by oopsthisisqueertoo ☆☆ | not rated

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo]

Akaashi is at his wits end. He feels nothing. He's quickly crumbling as a human being. He wants nothing but sweet release of death. In his fourth year of college he drafts a plan for his suicide. He is to graduate, publish writing for others to be inspired by, and slip quietly away. Shortly after, he meets a dog walker named Bokuto who asks him out and Akaashi reluctantly agrees. Nothing matters anymore and he treats Bokuto like an obligation. Until he's not anymore.

TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPTS & DEPRESSION

this was... this gutted me entirely and filled my body with too many shades of agony

arguably one of the best haikyuu fics i’ve ever read

so beautiful in the most painful way fathomable; strongly recommend

april to may by surveycorpsjean | T

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tsukishima]

They're an odd family.

The four of them? Parents?

But still, they're a family.

So they'll support each other until the end.

aaahhhhh third gym as parents 🥺

so much fluff. i also love april and may

they’re still so in love there’s love in every millimetre of this fic :”)

that’s it for now! i’ll add more if i come across anymore good fics. i hope you enjoyed this list! if you have any requests/fic recs, or if u just wanna chat, feel free to just ask! hehe 🥰 k aight bye~

[hello-yue-here]

About your atla ship songs, I have a couple of questions (sorry if my phrasing comes out wrong, english isn't my first language and I worry it might across as accidentally defensive): how did you end up with the choices for zukka, jetko and yuekka (note: I haven't seen the great comet, so feel free to obsess over it, I'm intrigued now and the hype is appreciated!)? Sidenote: I think the mailee choice is HILARIOUS and the tokka one just make me sad, I didn't expect to be attacked like this😭

kdjfha;s i love you im gonna obsess SO HARD over great comet now. you may regret this

this is gonna be so long so the rest is under the cut whoops

yuekka: no one else from great comet

where do i even begin. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN

okay so background information on this show: it's based off of a 76 oages excerpt from war and peace and its centered around a woman named natasha (and this guy pierre but he's irrelevant to this song so we wont worry about him) and natasha's bethrothed is off fighting in the war right now. she hasn't seen him in a while but she is in love with him.

every single lyrics of this song SCREAMS yuekka to me. the innocence and purity of their love. the love at first sight. and even the melancholy ending just- i go apeshit for this song. i love this song so much. and denee benton's voice??? kljsdhflwksugf please listen to this song if you haven't already. listen to the whole show. your life will be changed forever.

onto the lyrics (i stg this is ab to be the whole song whoops)

"the moon"

THOSE ARE THE FIRST WORDS ON THE SONG. natasha and andre (her bethrothed) met underneath the moonlight. Sokka and Yue first spoke to eachother at night and always met each other for their most intimate moments under the moonlight. also yue is LITERALLY the moon so like: right of the bat with those two words it's yuekka.

"and i saw your eyes / and i saw your smile / and the world opened wide"

sokka fell in love with yue the moment he saw her in the canal. she literally enchanted this motherfucker. everything about her made his heart go crazy. and 'the world opened wide' to me is from yue's perspective. Yue had never left the north pole and sokka had seen a good chuck of the world at the point. He took her on appa, he told her about his adventures. he saw the world yue wished to see and you know damn well that Sokka would have done anything to give it to her.

"oh the moon /oh the snow in the moonlight / and your childlike eyes and your distant smile / ill never be this happy again / you and i and no one else"

natasha sings fondly about the moon and the snow, seeing as it was where she fell in love with andre. yue and sokka LITERALLY fell in love in the same place: in the snowy nothern water tribe under the light of the moon. childlike eyes: THEYRE CHILDREN!!! distant smile: this is where it gets a little sad. theyre both children with way too many duties during a world that has known nothing but war for the past century. they want to be happy but yeah, theyre smiles are distant and far away because happiness seems out of reach for them most of the time. i'll never be this happy again: the moments yue and sokka shared together were probably the happiest either of them ever were. they were able to ignore the war and the world in the moments they shared together. and with no one else. no one else would be able to give each other this sense of peace and happiness and love.

"joy and life inside our souls / and no body knows just you and me / it's our secret"

Yue and Sokka had to sneak out in secret at night to go and see each other. Yue and Sokka couldn't be together for real because Yue was already engaged, but they were literally in love so she decided to see him anyways in secret. kasdjfhklasjd im losing my mind over them at this point.

"this winer sky / how can anyone sleep / there was never such a night before / i feel like putting my arms around my knees / and squeezing tight as possible / and flying away"

these are my FAVORITE lines in the entire song. yue and sokka had never felt this strongly about anyone before and that's why they are so drawn to each other. they had never experienced love before and they wanted to hold onto it for as long as they could even though they knew they couldnt. Sokka takes yue up on appa and she is wistful and wishes she could live like he does every day: ie flying away. oh my god these two deserved so much better. so much fucking better.

now for the saddes part. the saddest fucking part.

"maybe he'll come today / maybe he came already / and he's sitting in the drawing room / and i simply forgot"

natasha misses andre so intensely at this point. when i first listened to this show and heard this song i was like "wait a min... is andre like... dead?" and im sure i wasnt the only person who assumed that this was why natasha felt so sad by the end of such a beautiful song. (spoiler alert andre is fine)

but this line really exemplifies how sad natasha is, and hints at the fact that andre may never come back. it implies that their relationship is doomed (at least in my opinion) and that's all yuekka. Sokka misses yue intensely when shes gone. Yue accepted her fate almost immediately but sokka was in denial. he thought there had to be another way. but in the end it wasn't meant to be. and sokka will go on, loving yue, wishing for her back, even though it's not possible.

fuck im gonna cry.

zukka: all i've ever known- hadestown

"i was alone so long / i didn't even know that i was lonely / out in the cold so long / i didnt even know that i was cold"

sokka is from the swt so theres where the cold comes in. also in the gaang (initially) it was just him katara and aang. and katara and aang were much closer to each other than sokka was with aang and the two of them were benders so sokka was kind of an outsider with the two of them. He also represses a lot of his emotions and feels the need to do everything himself so i do see a lot of loneliness in sokka. and the fact that so many people in his life have left him (his mom, yue, his dad, suki briefly, etc...) he is known to keep people at an arms length. i see a lot of loneliness in sokka.

zuko's loneliness is a lot more obvious: he has literally been cast out and abandoned by everyone except iroh. and even then he still feels the need to be alone (remember zuko alone? thought so) these boys look after themselves and push others away and revel in their loneliness in order to keep themselves from getting hurt. at least in my opinion on canon and also some fanon because id be a liar if i said fanon didnt influence how i view ALL my ships (not just zukka)

"all ive ever known is how to hold my own / but now I wanna hold you too"

COME ONE MANNNN, they just wanna hold each other. theyre both very big protectors as well and kljhflkasdhg they wanna protect eachother like kljdhfl im gonna lose it rn.

"You take me in your arms / And suddenly there's sunlight all around me / Everything bright and warm / And shining like it never did before / And for a moment I forget / Just how dark and cold it gets"

SUNLIGHT SYMBOLISM. zuko is literally powered by the sun. i don't think i even NEED to elaborate on this one anymore lol. They find comfort in each other away from all of their trauma. when they're together nothing else matters and i personally love that for them. they both deserve love.

"I knew you before we met / And I don't even know you yet / All I know is your someone I have always known"

these two are extremely similar in canon. many parallels. older brothers overshadowed by their prodigy little sisters. longing to make their fathers proud (granted one dad is good and one is fuckin evil), both are pretty bad with emotions. both are seen protecting others before themselves (sokka protecting suki during the serpant's pass, sokka protecting toph on like multiple occassions, zuko protecting katara in the final agni kai), the list goes on. they know who the other is because they see themselves in the other person. they already know each other because they are each other (in a way, not entirely, but the similarities are strong in my opinion)

"I'm gonna hold you forever / The wind will never change on us / Long as we stay with each other / Then it will always be like this"

i just think this line is so cute and sweet (ignoring all the symbolism and foreshadowing that comes with the last line in the musical itself. im gonna pretend this is nothing but happy) and i think these boys deserve happiness so yeah. this song is zukka to me lol.

jetko: thrill of first love- falsettoes

if you've never listened to this song go an do it now. you will know INSTANTLY that it is jetko because of the dynamics alone. marvin and whizzer are pure jetko and i take no crticisms.

marvin and whizzer are both extremely stubborn, and they don't always get along, and they fight a lot, and they get mad at each other a lot, and they are both passionate as hell, and they will bring this passion into everything. they love each other that is without a doubt, but they arent perfect and they are once again stubborn and determined as fuck.

sound familiar? it's literally jetko.

the lyrics aren't what remind me of jetko, but the dynamic itself. the lyrics are too on the nose for a gay couple in 1970's america so that rlly cant apply to jetko all that much. but the way these two characters bounce off of each other and get annoyed with each other and argue with eachother reminds me of jetko. because let's be honest: these two are the most stubborn characters in the whole show. they will fight for what they believe and it will take literally everything to change their minds.

i love jetko but i think they would have petty arguments all the time and get aggravated by one another so easily. and this is even seen in canon: they work so fucking well together but they did not even HESITATE to fight one another after neither of them would give in and let the fight about whether jet was right or wrong about zuko being a firebender. like i cannot say it enough they are stubborn as fuck.

but underneath all that stubborn pettiness and bickering: marvin and whizzer still love each other. and jet and zuko would still love each other. because even though they are stubborn when it comes to arguments, they are even more stubborn and determined when it comes to each other. these two passionate motherfuckers are in love.

(now when i chose this song i decided to ignore the fact that this song literally spells out the fact that marvin and whizzer's relatinoship is doomed because they literally say passion dies. thats the difference between jetko and whizzer and marvin because i dont think passion dies. i chose this song strictly for the bickering lmao)

and i know you didnt ask about tokka but,,,,

i rlly wanna talk about the tokka one

so im going to

tokka: on my own- les mis

look. i KNOW this song is about unrequited love and i love tokka as a couple but,,, the unrequited love in this song just SCREAMS unrequited tokka to me so thats what i went with.

eponine is a girl who has neglectful parents who lives life by her own rules: toph. eponine is shown to be tough and confident and spunky to others but behind all of that she has emotions, she feels love, she hides her vulnerability so much: toph. she is in love with a guy she cant be with because he loves someone else: TOPH

eponine is toph to a t and toph is eponine to a t. this is not up for debate lmao

"without him i feel his arms around me"

toph is always seen grabbing onto someone (and its almost ALWAYS sokka) when she's somewhere where she can't use her feet to see. FEEL and ARMS cmon. look at it.

"and i know / i know that he is blind"

COME ON. IMAGINE TOPH SINGING THIS LINE. this line is already powerful enough in les mis but having toph, a blind character, sing it just makes the symbolism even deeper. toph sees the potential relationship they could have together. toph sees that sokka is oblivious to this. toph is not blind to the truth or the potention, but sokka is blind to her feelings. im about to lose my mind over this line.

"I love him / But every day I'm learning / All my life / I've only been pretending / Without me / His world will go on turning / A world that's full of happiness / That I have never known"

i need to sit down for a moment. toph grew up in a household where her parents did not understand her. she has learned to hide her true emotions and vulnerabilities from everyone. and its the fact that toph knows that she and sokka will never be together and the fact that she still loves him in spite of that is what makes this even more heartbreaking.

"but only on my own"

TOPH AND EPONINE SWEETIES I LOVE YOU

thank you for indulging my theatre kid nonsense. you are very sweet and kind and lovely and awesome and i hope you have a lovely day bestie :) <3

ask me why i think these songs go with these ships

[cosmic-affinities]

Deku Vs Kacchan Part Two- Bakudeku

HOLY SHIT I just got done rewatching Deku Vs. Kacchan Part Two and now when in watching it I totally shipped the two from the start and so heres my word vomit of why I can’t understand how some people don’t see their shipping potential. 

Alright so the first time I watched this episode, and their fight at Ground Beta, is where I really started to ship them hardcore, I always liked their dynamic but this really locked it in for me. So I was idly going through and rewatching some of my favorite episodes/arcs and I watched Deku Vs Kacchan Part Two, this time with them already being my favorite ship from the show so obviously I have thoughts. 

I just want to go through and show why I do not understand when people absolutely refuse to think these two have any chemistry. Also this focuses on Katsuki quite a bit just because there’s usually a bunch of this type of thing about Izuku.

1) First of all back to the very begining of the series Izuku very nearly told Katsuki about OFA, he felt so guilty for betraying Katsuki that he needed a way to explain himself, with full confidence that Katsuki wouldn’t tell anyone. This was after he had spend literal months keeping all of this a secret from everyone, an everyone that included his mom and would eventually include his closest friends.

2) Back to the episode in particular, this is one of the only times we ever see Katsuki cry and get emotional (with an emotion other than anger) and it is all for Izuku. He specifically made sure Izuku and him were together and he broke down all of the walls he had put up (these same walls had kept all of his emotions from affecting him during the provisional liscence exam) Izuku is seriously the only one who can truly get how he is feeling like he says during the episode. They have such an understanding of each other’s emotions that Katsuki is actually angry that he can’t read Izuku the same way after All Might. 

3) The entire episode really highlights their childhood together and Katsuki’s conflicting outward superiority complex partnered with his deep seeded inferiority complex (IMO the superiority complex he outwardly projects is the direct result of his true inferior feelings that he refuses to submit to so instead he is ‘faking it until he makes it’ so he doesn’t crumble) anyways the point of this is it really shows where all of his aggression towards Izuku comes from. He doesn’t hate Izuku necessarily he hates the fact that he is sure that Izuku looks down on him, I think if the two had met at UA or maybe even only slightly later than they did there would be much less animosity (although where’s the fun in that dynamic [im slightly kidding]) another anyways is the fact that Katsuki so willingly tells Izuku all of this and doesn’t even try to take any of it back.

4) The actual factual fight scene is also very well done and leaves a lot to my shipping imagination. The way that they know each other just well enough to know the best ways to fight but both of them have to really put everything in to even get hits out on each other shows how closely they examine the other, for Izuku we know is is out of habit/ in his nature but for Katsuki this is eye opening, showing how much he truly pays attention to, even though his demeanor is very much ‘im the best and I don’t need to learn anything about anyone’ (this is not to say that he is not very very intelligent and can very easily evaluate fighting styles on the go during battle but to say he took time outside of battle to think about Izuku says something when it comes to Katsuki) also can we all take a second to appreciate when Katsuki has Izuku pinned to the floor and they are both panting *chefs kiss*

5) When Katsuki is talking to Izuku after he has him pinned he says ‘You have All Might’s power but even using his strength even after making it your own some how you still managed to lose to me.” and normally he would stress that he lost and that he specifally lost to him but when he says it he sounds resigned and slightly dissapointed, as if he expected to lose, which is something he never expects because he does have faith in his own abilities which shows that he, no matter how subconciously, thought Izuku would win, or maybe put up more of a fight. That coming from Katsuki is high praise.

6) When Katsuki starts his rant about how he finshed All Might and breaks down he talks about how it all keeps playing on loop and that everyone has to know about it, but who does he go to? Izuku. He goes to the one person who has always been in his life and has seen him at some of his lowest moments (sludge monster) and as I mentioned before the only one who truly knows what he is feeling. Izuku even says that Katsuki was more affected than he himself was and he is All Might’s succesor.

7) Moving a bit into Izuku, this is the first time we see him stand up for himself, before this most of their interactions are negative and Izuku allows Katsuki to walk all over him, but here he tells him that he won’t be a punching bag anymore, which puts them into the playing field as equals.

8) Izuku also narrates their relationship, hitting on how awful it was up until that point, how they knew each other for a long time, how they never talked about they ‘really felt’ which can be taken with some extra shipping context since it is directly from Izuku’s point of view.

9) More about everything Izuku says, this is the first time he hears what Katsuki thinks about him, how he thinks he is constantly beeing looked down on even though Izuku treated him like he was golden. This makes everything so much clearer for the two of them, the giant mess of misunderstanding that they needed to work through, this is their opening.

10) The magnificence of the line “All Might was my hero, but you were the one actually in my life!” this is one of the lines that plenty of people say solidified the ship for them, you get to physically see how much Izuku loves All Might, mere episodes before you see his room(s) (dorm+house) covered in All Might memorbilia but he flat out says that Katsuki had/has a bigger impact on him.

11) Izuku narrates something he would never admit, he even says that he would never admit it. He says that when he gets emotional and his desire to win takes over he subconciously starts to talk like Katsuki, think about that for a second, when Izuku is aware and not swept up in a fight, he is fully trying to emulate All Might, everytime he is fighting or doing resuce mission practice he thinks about what All Might would do or say. So much so that when he gets told off for saying the wrong thing during the Provisional liscence exam he beats himself up for not doing what All Might would at the begining of the rescue mission. Even with all of that he says that when he gets rilled up he starts to talk like Katsuki, this shows how much he looks at Katsuki and sees a hero, the ideal (thats a bit of a strong word but you get the point) when he wants to win so badly he does not try to copy the actual number one hero he tries to act like Katsuki, his hero, his image of victory. Also he calls him his image of victory, come on he is basically shipping himself at that point.

12) Katsuki thinks he isn’t good enough and says so to All Might and Izuku, the one who would never willingly accept anyones help he allowed himself to tell the two of them.

13) When All Might says that Izuku admires Katsuki for his strength and Kastuki fears Izukus heart and spirit, how is that not total shipping material?!

14) This all ends with Katsuki accepting his role in Izuku’s training, he didn’t even think about it for more than a second before he ‘threatened’ Izuku basically telling him that if he doesn’t get stronger on his own Katsuki will force him to get stronger

15) Then they have their little banter about surpassing each other (mad bants ;) ) then All Might mentions that they are now ‘Proper Rivals’ in a way they werent before. Their relationship grows and expands, with that a mutual resepct and understanding.

16) When Aizawa asks who threw the first punch Katsuki does not hesitate to admit that he did, even after thier one fight he is showing growth, he doesn’t try to play it off as if it was mutual, Izuku quickly jumps in and says he was at fault as well, not letting Katsuki take all of the balme. All Might has spoken to them once and yet they’re already working better together.

17) When the two are on house arrest and Izuku asks Katsuki what he thinks about the shoot style Katsuki gives him an actual answer, and even (back handedly) compliments him on it when previously he would have shaken it off and maybe even yelled at him for asking, major improvement in their relationship.

18) This last one is something that happens in every episode but really stands out as they fight. Katsuki still lets Izuku call him Kacchan, his childhood nickname. It would be so easy and probably more ‘in character’ for him to tell Izuku off for calling him something that would be considered so childish, but I think it is his own way of holding onto that part of himself, when they were young and quirks didn’t matter. Most of the conjecture about why he lets Izuku call him that is mostly fanon but it is definetly something that helps the ship.

OK so i rambled on for a lot longer than i originally intended but here you go to the one person who might read this far, this is for you thank you.

Also mind you this is a single 24 minute episode and there are 18 (EIGHTTEEN) points, although it is an episode deicted to the two of them, either way I ship bakudeku and this episode really did it for me.

[creative-cha0s]

Jess’ Masterlist of Prodigal Son (Mostly Brightwell) Inspo with Songs & Lyrics

HI tend to think of almost everything in connection to songs and lyrics and recently Ive got a bunch of lyrics rolling around in my head that are perfect for inspiration for Prodigal Son fics, fan art, gif sets, ect - but mostly fics (and mosty Brightwell).

Ill do my best to categorize by relationship/ character and possibly plot - and hopefully to keep this updated.

Like my music? want to listen to it too? All of these songs are in my playlist that I leave on repeat: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3pvktqRQXSUivcXpOWZGCX

Brightwell

Piece of Your Heart - Mayday Parade

This song is perfect for the both of them no matter who it’s coming from, but I always see the 1st verse (1st bullet) coming from Dani

Give me your misery All of it give it to me I can hold onto it for you It's not a problem I just want your energy A piece of that fractured mountain I'll take whatever comes with it as long as it's yours

All I know is that I want it more than yesterday If I was waiting, I was waiting for just one little spark You are the brightest I've seen You are the best side of me And just for when we're apart I've got a piece of your heart

But I want the whole damn thing 

Where You Are - Mayday Parade

The song as a whole is not fitting, its about someone dying. But there are a few lines that can be used.

You to me, are encased in nothing But beauty and gracious love You'll always be my one good reason To keep on moving 'til I'm in your arms

My favorite place is wherever you are 

Sleeping In - All Time Low

This song is PERFECT for well establish Brightwell - fluffy, lazy days, just ignoring the world and staying in together. Just go listen to the whole song.

Never wanna leave this bed Tell me that you got nowhere to be Can we stay all day? (All day) Lay low in our lazy luxury Sex in a rosé daze (daze) All day, it's a real good thing

Just like that There you go, making it hard to stay on track Got shit to do, you got work But we fall right back Into bed, like it's all just a game And we can't help that, no we can't help that 

Favorite Place - All Time Low

Another one that’s perfect for Brightwell, mostly coming from Bright (bolded parts), this song is currently always stuck in my head. Go listen to it!

So can we close the space between us now It's the distance we don't need (hey) Yeah, you're everything I love about The things I hate in me (hey) So come on, come on, come over now and Fix me with your grace 'Cause I'm not too far and you're my favorite place

And I know you don't belong (know you don't belong) Know you don't belong to anyone No you can't be tamed love Maybe I was wrong (maybe I was wrong) Maybe I was wrong for this But you feel like the perfect escape now 

Kids Again - Artist Vs Poet

Can be any phase of Brightwell I think - mostly focusing on the verses, ignoring the ‘just like we were kids’ reference in the chorus, because they didn’t grow up together. Another one to go listen to the whole song.

I know a girl who likes to drink her coffee black Cause sugar, no, she don't got time for that Leaves her desires at the welcome mat when she walks in

Yeah, I know a boy who likes to keep his burner on He's always running with no one to keep warm It's like he's flirting with the smoke alarm, his fire's fading

But still we laugh, we cry, we fall, we get high

And when I, I'm feeling small you get me through it all

I know a girl who's never tried to settle down She wears her loneliness like a crown But when she smiles all the kings will bow down, down, down

And I know a boy who's broken every vow he's made Who's spoken every capped phrase But he can listen like a rainy day and drown it out 

Clumsy - All Time Low

Perfect for when Bright acts like Bright, especially in reference to him backing away from Dani and ending up with Eve. And anything else he does that breaks Danis trust and makes her say things like ‘you promised to do better’ and ‘you told me i was the one you liked talking to’ LISTEN TO THIS ONE ITS SO GOOD

I was bound to make a mess of things Mixin' fireworks and gasoline Never meant to make you fall with me

I let you down I've been clumsy with your heart again I guess you figured me out Now here's a taste of my own medicine

And for all this pain, that I can't explain There's a black flag wavin' tonight You know I let you down (let you down) I've been clumsy with your heart again 

Satellite - Mayday Parade

Cant really explain how this fits other than angsty Bright who thinks hes going to mess up everything (I swear everything I touch it breaks). Most of the lines could easily come from either of them to the other. Gets at the emotion of following each other and doing life together (will you follow?)

What if I told you, everything we built will slowly fade away? And if I hold you, I swear everything I touch it breaks But it you close your eyes and take my hand We could learn from our mistakes

If you jump, I'll follow If you jump, I'll follow

What if I told you, everything that's gold is sure to fade If I hold you, what if I hold you 'til we're old and grey? But if you close your eyes and take my hand We could learn from our mistakes

If you jump, I'll follow If I jump, will you follow? 

Never Let Me Go - We Came As Romans 

See below under Malcolm & Gil - really good for canon friendship/ partnership with Dani & Bright

Hush Hush - The Band CAMINO

This one is absolutely perfect for building tension between the two of them either for pre-brightwell or established Brightwell – Especially if they’re hiding it from the rest of the team. It’s perfect for something hot yet playful, or just completely angsty. It’s… well, you’ll see. Give it a listen!

I caught your eye across the room No one can feel the tension between me and you There's no need to mention all the things I wanna do You wanna do 'em too We both know we'd be over if they knew Yeah, we both know we'd be over if they knew

Hush, hush Don't give it away We'll both be better off if no one knows Hush, hush Got nothin' to say Just keep it to yourself 'til we get home Don't touch they're looking your way If anybody asks, we left alone Hush, hush Don't give it away Hush, hush Don't give it away

Honest - The Band CAMINO

This one right here – the ENTIRE song is 100% for those storylines that has the two of them attempting ‘no strings attached’ and casual without all the emotions that we KNOW are there. Perfect for leading into a change from casual to serious :) Here’s just a portion

Are we something to each other Or are we just blowing smoke? Are we caught between the covers Or is there something more going on in between us, or not? Is it just on the surface, or what?

We should be honest 'Cause sometimes I can't tell Do we really want this Or are we lying to ourselves? Is it the burning hearts alone in the dark That make the midnight call? Now we're caught between the real thing And nothing at all So we should be honest

Do you feel it when you kiss me? 'Cause I know you do somehow I don't know when we go where we got But we're both here somehow And I thought it was nothing until now

What I Want - The Band CAMINO

Some feels for break up/ fight Brightwell and perfect for Dani’s POV when he moves onto Eve shortly after saying he’d try to do better at them and that she’s the one he likes talking to.

You told me to love, but I won't It doesn't seem right, no and I'll never get what I want if I can't on my own I took a chance on a feeling But here I am feeling alone

If Im James Dean, Then You’re Audrey Hepburn - Sleeping With Sirens 

For when Malcolm is serious about them and really needs Dani to stay – most important line in this is ‘Cant promise that things wont be broken’ For serious, and fluff:)

They say that love is forever Your forever is all that I need Please stay as long as you need Can't promise that things won't be broken But I swear that I will never leave Please stay forever with me

The way that we are It's the reason I stay As long as you're here with me I know we'll be okay The way that we are Is the reason I stay As long as you're here with me I know I'll be okay

Another Nightmare - Sleeping With Sirens

It’s not hard for Bright to be a MESS - whether you're sticking with canon storylines or adding your own, he probably thinks he's an absolute nightmare to everyone around him, especially Dani.

Nobody's perfect, there's no excuse I've been such a fucking nightmare to you But I promise if you let me in (let me in, let me in) I will never ever hurt you again

Malcolm & Martin (as portrayed on the show - not going near that NOTP)

Monsters - All Time Low (Explicit language)

This song perfectly - 99% - describes the relationship between Malcolm and Martin  (aside from the ‘in the sheets’ reference STAY THE FRICK AWAY NOTP). What I like the most about this matching their relationship is the fact that it acknowledges that Malcolm keep letting himself go back to Martin and let him hurt him (although I know a good deal of that is Martins manipulation controlling Malcolm). Go listen to the whole thing - its new music and its beautiful.

Another day, 'nother headache in this hangover hotel Gettin' used to the rhythm, yeah, I know this beat too well Tunnel visions got me feeling, like you're the only one I see But I know what's missing, where I'm swimmin' In my lonely luxury

Why am I a sucker for all your lies? Strung out like laundry on every line Why do I come back to you, like I don't mind if you fuck up my life?

I'm addicted to the way you hurt, the way you contradict me I swear everything look worse at night, I think I'm overthinking I don't care who I might hurt along the way, I'm fuckin' sinking Into every word, I don't care if you lyin' when I'm drinking So, tell me pretty lies, look me in my face Tell me that you love me, even if it's fake 

A Trophy Father’s Trophy Son - Sleeping With Sirens

The actual context of the song doesn’t fit to this situation, since Martin was taken away rather than leaving his family on his own but the emotion behind the words as if they were coming from Malcolm is exactly the same: losing a father. Perfect for young Malcolm as well as current day.

Father, father, tell me where have you been? Its been hell not having you here I've been missing you so bad And you don't seem to care When I go to sleep at night, you're not there When I go to sleep at night, do you care?

I need to know, I need to know Why are you walking away? Was it something I did? Did I make a mistake cause I'm trying to deal with the pain I don't understand this, is this how it ends? I will try to understand

Blood Lines - Sleeping with Sirens

Doesn’t need any more explanation than the statement Martin made that haunts him ‘We are the same’

No matter what I do, you will never ever be like me And I will never be like you (like you)

Malcolm

Who Will Pray? - We Came As Romans

Not in a religious context at all. Definitely a song on the more glum/ angsty side to describe Malcolm and how he feels about himself in relation to everyone around him.

We share our days Together now the sun is gone am I Another left here on my own alone And I'm slowly sinking

Scared to say What I'm feeling is the truth I need to face reality I choose to use to trick myself again into thinking

Short of breath and pulse erratic The weight of my chest, I'm slightly panicked

If I start to fade, gone without a trace Who will pray for me tomorrow? If I fall too far, disappear in the dark Who will pray for me tomorrow? 

Blood Lines - Sleeping With Sirens

Just some lyrics I found that accurately describe Malcolm – ‘Why do I try to save everyone I meet?’ evidenced by his talking down of their killer in every episode, and his ‘someone breaks us’ in the pilot as he tried to talk that killer down.

Why do I try to save everyone I meet? Is it because they are just like me? (Just like me) Same tracks, wrong side of the street Not typical in the way that we speak When you always expect to lose You don't give a fuck what they think of you It's written in our DNA Are we just born this way?

Malcolm & Gil (AS THEYRE PORTRAYED ON THE SHOW, PEOPLE, still not going near that NOTP)

Never Let Me Go - We Came As Romans

This one actually fits any caring relationship with Bright, especially with Gil, and his canon friendship/ partnership with Dani. 

The POV in the chorus changes halfway through, as an answer to the person saying ‘dont let me go’ so I see that as being them telling Malcolm they wont let him go.

My body shivers at the thought of getting up My heart is starting to accept that I am giving up No strength left Is it over yet? Am I thinking with my heart or with my head? Through distance, you remind me that

Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me go

So hold me close and never let me, never let me go At my lowest of lows, when I need you the most So let's reverse, could you look for me, could you look for me first? I will hold you close, I will never let you go I will never let you go I will never let you go

My hands welcome yours as you begin to see me My heart is starting to accept your rescue completely This new life that you placed in my heart I hope that I will make it through to you And in my steps you will follow behind, Oh Don't let me go! 

Malcolm & JT (Once again - as they’re portrayed on the show)

Agree to Disagree - Sleeping With Sirens

Doesn't entirely fit them where they are at now, but it’s perfect for how JT viewed him pretty early on

You think you're better than me? You don't like what you see? I think it's best we agree to disagree I'm doing fine by myself I never asked for your help I think it's best we agree to disagree

Songs that I’m getting paring/ character vibes from but I have no explanation why: 

For a While - The Band CAMINO (Brightwell)

See Through - The Band CAMINO (Brightwell)

[doyouevenshipbr0]

OK i just finished darling in the franxx so im listing all my thoughts. i dont expect anyone to actually read this i just need to get my random thoights out there. if anyone is gonna read this, spoilers alert!!! ok<3

-zero two is simply best girl. i adore her.

-bro the piloting situation in the franxx is SO fucking weird i hate it so much holy shit.

-^that being said, this show did NOT get nearly as sexual (in that sense) as i thought it would

-this isnt a surprise to anyone, but everythinf after ep 15 and ESPECIALLY after ep 19 is just. not great (compared to everything the show was before this point)

-however, i did enjoy domestic soft hiro x zero two. all of that was *chef’s kiss*.

-by the end it was trying SO HARD to be woke and have plot twists and it just didnt make sense and honestly none of the “plot twists” carried much weight imo

-like them finding out they were fighting in klaxosaurs. i didnt rly give much of a fuck lmao.

-this show handles relationships and adolescence SO WELL

-honestly i love action romances but i think i wouldve really preferred if like all the episodes were slices of life lol. and thats coming from someone who can get bored EASILY by slice of life.

-ichigo is just. THE WORST JSHSHWKWHA! i understand WHY she did everything she did ok i get it but i still couldnt help but hate her for it! sorry!

-^especially since goro is best boy and i wanted her to stop breaking his heart!

-the episode where we see the backstory of hiro and zero two was by far my favorite episode. it was SO beautiful and emotional and the storytelling was top notch. amazing ep.

-alright here’s where things might get controversial idk...... i thought mitsuru and kokoro were handled really oddly as individual characters and ALSO as a couple!

-like? mitsuru had potential?? i thought his reasoning for hating hiro so much for all those years was a little weird but like whatever. it was his thing. but then they just COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT! and then all of a sudden he was like “oh! im not bitter ab hiro breaking his promise anymore! i love kokoro and want to be a dad and get married!:)” like. it just happened SO FAST. idk it was weird.

-and kokoro. ok. im realizing a lot of this is just my personal view of things, but i found it SO WEIRD that they made her character all ab baby fever. and hey, maybe thats just bc i have little to no desire to have kids of my own, but idk man. it just seemed so odd. they gave a young girl a book about babies and a baby doll and said “ok now shes mommy.”. like to me it seemed like she was just a little kid who wanted to play house and didnt have a clear understanding of what it really meant to be a parent! especially since shes so young! and they made her whole character ab that and i just hate the scene where she feels mitsuru up. they took her and mitsuru’s characters and relationships in a very odd direction imo ok.

-^despite all that, i wouldnt have minded their relationship or even if kokoro had gotten pregnant if they had just dont it differently. bc towards the end, seeing kokora pregnant and mitsuru trying to help her was really sweet! it was all really rushed and seemed so out of place and just in ur face about it.

-the world building had a lot of potential until they completely shat on it.

-from the first few episodes i REALLY thought i was gonna hate zorome but i actually liked him a lot by the end.

-miku grew on me a lot too.

-i will never forgive seeing zero two as that big fucking franxx, dog shdhwhwowhwh it was SO weird and out of place.

-i wanted more exploration with ikuno:/

-futoshi ended up just being kind of annoying cus he was just the stereotypical lovable fat character who loves food. that trope is so tired.

-despite the ending being overall bad, it was still REALLY nice and satisfying to see all the kids grown up and i really enjoyed seeing the bits of the show where they had to learn to take care of themselves and essentially recreate civilization.

-ok i just hate sad endings overall so seeing hiro and zero two “die” sucked but then seeing them being reincarnated was actually really sweet.

-alright. so like. am i the ONLY PERSON wondering why zero two has pink hair, red horns, and red skin if she’s supposedly a clone of a person that is ENTIRELY BLUE! also why is her skin only red when shes a little kid? did i miss something??

-overall, the show had an excellent exploration of relationships and adolescence, getting you to care about the characters in some way or another, but then falls flat with the last 10 or so episodes, specifically in the world building that they try to expand on and just the overall ending (at least on hiro and zero twos part. as i said before, i really liked seeing the rest of squad 13 and how they were living their lives).

so thats my take!

[itsakpopalypse]

Kim Sehyoon : Astrology ask- How he would be romantically

“hii 😊 can you do an astrology reaction like chan’s but with Sehyoon? thank you so much in advance!”- @naomik1999

Of course ! glad to do so !! Here you are ! I hope you like it !

A/N there will be 18+ included below the cut !!

Okay !! Starting with pure fluff and explanation of his overall chart

 this baby

oh my god he is so precious

okay so we know he is a Taurus sun

but did you know he has a LEO rising? 

lowkey means he has this strong confident presence that intimidates people yet draws them in

he is so lively and interesting to watch that you are like👀👀 

and he seems like he would be outgoing on first glance

but his sun and moon balance out that strong firey energy SO beautifully

with a Taurus sun he is somewhat more calm and will have a very steady aura

like you get near him and feel more grounded just for it

beautiful fixed earth energy in action let me tell you 

as you know fixed tends to mean unmovable and it is lucky for him he has a more mutable moon or that would eventually cause conflict

his instinct is still probably to dig his heels in but he will come around quickly

let’s talk what a Taurus sun means for his relationships

ever met one? they are . so . Cuddly by nature, 

Maybe not first meeting someone but when they he becomes comfortably used to a person  he will go at the hugs and physical affection with his whole chest 

expect

forehead kisses  (oh my god im sofft)

hand holding

picking you up for absolutely no reason except that he wants you c l o s e r

tend to be very physical, artistic and sexual by nature.

so expect lots of touch 

please take care of his heart he is not going to want to express it in words but Taurus’s are soooooo easily hurt. 

they are slow to anger so don’t expect any fights really

he will be logical and intelligent

but if you do fight he may take a while to cool down after

Pisces moon.

i have said it before I will say it again

SO MANY FEELINGS

okay so with Pisces especially in moon this means a few things

sensitive 

they give people SO many chances to break their hearts

you will have to be so supportive 

he will need to be held sometimes

you might be the lil spoon

its cute

but we know he thicc thicc

so you know it’ll probably translate to him laying his head on your thighs and staring up at you with stars in his eyes

because he is so s o f t for you

Pisces moon is so romantic 

he will be constantly trying to make you smile because it will be his whole world

god the PAINTINGS he will do of and for you

Sehyoon is so deeply artistic and he expresses himself through his art

so especially with the Taurus sun being a hindrance on putting his feelings into words he will find a way to do it through his art

expect lyrics and paintings

he might do your nails when they are chipped

try to learn how to do your make up and hair

he is so affectionate i am getting so soft

i don’t normally mention it but his Mercury is notable 

since his mercury is Taurus it means he will be practical, and very

very

dexterous

that will come back in the 18+ section i just needed to put it out there cause BIG OOF

his venus is Aries, venus controls how one reacts to love relationships of all kinds 

Aries is a dominant sign so yes, Sehyoon is a soft man full of emotions who is a bit shy, but expect that once he knows what he wants he will go for it

he will probably be cautious though, as a true Taurus always is, so he will probably try to figure it out through your friends before he directly asks you out

drops hints for a short while before just being like 

hi

then blush like mad and giggle and hide his larger frame behind Byeongkwan who totally is there for emotional support don’t @ me

He will peak out and say something complimentary or just random and then when you begin to answer he will decide to rip the bandaid off

“I like you a lot can I take you out please?”

Cause he is a gentleman okay

will then find so much time for you

naps

he will cuddle 

big spoon sometimes but I see him as more of a lay you down full bodied on top of him so he can feel your lips pressed to his neck and you can have soft whispery conversations like that

will kiss the top of your head between words

ask questions that seem strange’

but he just wants to know everything about you

because he wants to understand how to make you happy always and that’s the best way for him to do it

analyze analyze analyze

dates will be pretty quiet and chill

he will do whatever you want because he doesn’t need to be in charge of those things 

he would be the sweetest most boyfriendy boyfriend the world has ever seen and you will honestly constantly be amazed (hes not even my a.c.e bias im just in my feels from his chart it’s so beautiful and cohesive)

His N Node is Sagittarius and this is notable because it will mean he is pretty adventurous with his love

that’s coming up again later too jot that down

okay and im gonna ramble cause he is so so s w e e t please

will not stop talking about you to the members

guys did you know that my S/O is ….

the most WONDERFUL person in the world???

they are like yes you told us that 10 mins ago and will likely tell us again in 10 more minutes

S P I C Y time

istg it was so hard to pick a gif there are so many sexy gifs of this man LAWD

WOOOP let’s get to it 👀👀👀

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW

everyone calls him a SERIOUS KINKY DOM

and I won’t say that ISN’T there…..

what I will say is it isn’t likely his GO TO 

okay I will explain

his Aries rising and venus means he will have some FIREY dom-y moments

but his Pisces and Taurus placements will tone it down a bit

now if you are INTO that he is happy to please

but just expect that on occasion he wants you to make him weak

have you seen any dance ever that he is in the man goes from powerhouse to trembling in the grasp of another

black and blue fancams do yourself a favor if you haven’t

okay star stuff again

this man

is so affectionate. his hands are EVERYWHERE always 

he will time things incredibly well

remember when i talked about the importance of his mercury being Taurus too??

yeahhhh

so this means he is amazing with his hands

expect thorough teasing from him

this is not a drill

he is going to make you cum at least 2 times before his cock comes near you 

i don’t make the rules

have you seen his tongue??? hands vs tongue  I am thinking he is going to do both but there might be times where he does one or the other

he loves loves loves

to hear moans

not so much a praise kink but damn it does stroke his ego

he wants you so incredibly blissed out that you don’t even think about what noises are coming out of your face 

h i p control

the dancer hips on this man honestly I cannot continue because im going to burst into flame lawd

we’ve all seen the package so while he is not lacking in size by my estimation, he is also SO precise

O V E R S T I M 

okay so just cause he isn’t a ‘dom’ always doesn’t mean he isn’t always kinky

he is kinky

i do think he is a BIT more into pain play than some of the other members would be but I don’t think he’d go for anything that is TOO rough

spanking with a leather paddle is a yes, anything too much harder is a no

he just wants you at peak pleasure the whole time and he LIVES to know he is the one doing it 

What can I say Aries are low key ego driven and he will use your pleasure to make him feel like a god or demon in the sheets

and that’s fair cause he likely is one

remember that Sagg north node? yeah that’s back

adventurous 

so expect some bondage both ways

he would love for you to put a blindfold on him and make him experience everything through touch

will let out the prettiest whines but also will be so in to it

loves to be teased but will never ask you to reciprocate oral unless you’re doing character play

if he HAPPENS to be domming well watch out cause he is damn good at it. 

biting

yeah that’s a thing 

honestly as a rapper i see him having a huge oral fixation

there will be times he will leave a box on the bed with lingerie and you will see a note telling you to put it on and come to the bedroom

and when you come out he is going to LAVISH you in attention

unwrap you like the best gift he has ever recieved

that thing his eyes do where they darken and he looks like he could get you on your knees with a single word

yea that too

but instead he just strips you and doesn’t miss a single inch as he explores you with his tongue and teeth

WHEW

not a lay down the rules type of dom

maybe one or two but mostly he just wants to control and move your body for your own pleasure

on the flip side when he wants you in control its like

he has had a hard busy week and he is stressed

so he will give you a hint he wants to be babied

will get your attention and make it clear but probably be too embarrassed to ask outright

but when you do lord he will be so pleased

ride his face or his cock he’s good with either he just wants you to touch him and body worship him the way he does you

that is when praising him will work in your favor

but not just by telling him how hot he is

he wants you to talk about how you love him

where you love him

what he does to your soul and bare it for him

those deep conversations which could be had over coffee but if you are kissing your way down his body he will not be able to stand it

he is so in love and it shows

hey bouncing out of that think of this

artist Sehyoon puts down a tarp one day and stips you naked. he begs you to let him paint you and he does, but not on a canvass

no he has body paint and his hands are the brush and he literally covers you in him so viscerally and emotionally

it starts beautiful 

a color here and there outlining things he thinks make you so unique

you’ve got stretchmarks? scars? moles?

he amplifies these and makes you see your “flaws” as as beautiful as he sees them

full length mirror in front of you once you are enhanced he grips the base of your neck gently in his hand from behind and meets your eyes in the mirror 

his hot wet whisper in your ear that this

this was the peak of his creativity

that he would never be able to replicate on any other format the beauty he sees in you

and somehow even though it’s this beautiful sweet moment his eyes do the thing and you know you are in for it

expect the flutters to turn to fire as he puts a bit of pressure into that hand, just enough to get your attention. you know what comes after

expect to be much messier by the end and hes throwing out whatever clothes he bought tbh

aftercare isn’t gonna be a thing much 

he works hard on you and he is tired

will cuddle forever after you will be gross and he will not care showers and cleanup are for after he has had his NAP 

*I hope you enjoyed it!! feel free to send more requests anytime! I love peaking at these charts and delving in !

[fckeverything-v]

 1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Lick

 2. What is home to you? Alabama:/

 3. What was the last lie you told? I couldnt tell you

 4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Maybe not?

 6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Walk away, move states..

 7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Being alone & fuck irdk

 8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Mhm 4 years ago.

 9. How many all nighters have you pulled? A lotttt haha

 10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Woah people express that? no but humans would probably bone all the time.

 11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Only 2 (technically 3) serious relationships. Many flings.

 12. What is your paradise? I dont have one :(

 13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Music

 14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Only 1... maybe 2 soon. (not you hehe.)

 15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? Finding friendships through social media or other platforms. And mhm probably that im a lonely pos

 16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they're pretty. Not really.

 17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Chew loud.

 18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Eh, yeah. And I cant think of any pros.

 19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Piano, saxophone

 20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. I stare at it until i hate it.

 21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

 22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? To not give up. As simple as that sounds.

 23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? No. Dont you need to be mentally stable- i would hope so..

 24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Play games for hours.

 25. When was the last time you felt awkward? Ha. Literally 5 minutes ago.

 26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introverted x100000

 27. What constitutes a good friend? Someone who doesnt give up on you amd atleast tries to understand.

 28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? One best friend.

 29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? 'Hey hows your day going'

 30. What is your dream job? Fuck, is this still a question.. to be a homicide detective in the biggest city i can think of.

 31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? Lazy and smart DUH

 32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

 33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? What it feels like to GET OFF. DUH.

 34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Um my own dreams i guess.

 35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. Im not wasting my time describing that.

 36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? Live it up. I think id feel happy honestly.

 37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Mh. Sell it, their problem now and im rich.

 38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Current events.

 39. Name the last book you read. Dammed- chuck palahniuk

 40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? No change

 41. When was the last time you made the first move? Um never..

 42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? Trash

 43. What was the last tv show youve watched? Rick and Morty.

 44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I appreciate what i am trying to do.

 45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

 46. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

 47. What are you scared of? Heights.

 48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? Um live my life everyday probably.

 49. What are some of your hobbies? .... literally WORSE question. I smoke cigs. Is that a hobby?

 50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

 51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I feel like i am both. I try to be there for them. But also, im so hard to get so i feel like i might come off the wrong way a lot.

 52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly; nope.

 53. What have you learned the hard way? Not to care what people think. After wasting my whole life. Im starting to realize it doesnt matter.

 54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Follow your heart

 56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both but probably logical.

 57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

 58. What is your ideal meal? Fuckk probably so good ass chicken with some gooooood asssssss mac and cheese. As lame as that sounds hahaha.

 59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? 1. Go on date with me

 60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? Yeah and dogs are cute but i love elephants.

 61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Christmas.

 62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Of courseeeee (;

 63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Video games.

 64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Woah you read my mind of sum? Shooter games.

 65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? Bullshit

 66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? No not really and like 5pm nowadays.

 67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? No

 68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City but i love the countryside

 69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains

 70. What are the best things about winter? Cold. Even though i hate it. Snow. Even if i dont see it. Trees dying.

 71. What scares you most about the future? Literally everything.

 72. What makes you feel old? Doing nothing.

 73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Idk like 5.

 74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? Be a better me.

 75. What is your life story in 6 words?

 76. Describe yourself in one word. Awkward.

 77. What bad habits do you do? Smoking

 78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything

 79. Most prominent childhood memory? I would say, but its embarrassing that that's the memory.

 80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? My life would be so different. Maybe i would have someone to talk to.

 81. Spirit animal?

 82. Do you believe in horoscopes? Yes

 83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given?

 84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. 1. Fox 2. Fox 3. Fox

 85. Favorite memory of your family. :/

 86. What do you look for in a relationship? Happiness

 87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No. I dont need it. But now that i think about it i have one role model.

 88. What is your opinion on social media? Dumb

 89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimest

 90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Food

 91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? ..

 92. What superpower would ruin the world? Any of them

 93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Exactly what im doing now. Nothing. Giving up. Dropping out

 94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? Dont trust yourself when you know you arent okay. Fight club

 95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Europe

 96. How do you approach people? I dont but i guess a smile.

 97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I think theyre okay. Only if you dont judge.

 98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? Lol play with imaginary friends

 99. What languages can you speak? English

 100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? Lol hopefully ill be dead bc that shit sounds terrible

 101. What do you do on your lazy days? Play games.

 102. What ended your last relationship? I had enough.

 103. Favorite food? Soul food

 104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? Fuck im not saying.

 105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Last night

 106. What was the last friendship you broke? My friend Ashley:(

 107. Do you have any pet peeves? Close minded people

 108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Zack

 109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last night

 110. What part of your personality do you want to change? I dont have one.

 111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My sister Grace.

 112. What is your biggest motivation? My siblings. Faith & Grace.

 113. What did you want to be when you were little? Honestly i never knew.

 114. What are some things that you are good at? Smokin weed

 115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Social skills

 116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? My mind

 117. How important is privacy to you? Eh pretty significant i guess.

 118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Be friends with everybody.

 119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Um.. i told my 2nd grade teacher my family died in a car crash.

 120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I dont go to parties haaha

 121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? have friends and socialize too much like woah calm down you know youre still alone.. right. Like its only you. Hahah jk. But irdk.

 122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? a guy invited me over and ive never done anything sexual before so i pretended like i knew and i hurt his dick like bad. (We didnt have sex)

 123. What is your morning routine? Wake up, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, and then boom feel sad

 124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

 125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help

 126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" Being sort of isolated like not opening up. Which is okay bc if they want you they'll wait.

 127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Cons, you may hurt feelings. Pro, you know yourself and what you want to say congratulations

 128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Being fake happy.

 129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? Friendzoner

 130. What do you admire most about your friends? How beautiful he is. Inside & out.

 131. What do you admire most about your family? They're still here.

 132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" You may forget where you are trying to go. Or who you are.

 133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? Listening.

 134. When is it time to end a friendship? Idk

 135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? Lol too many.

 136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? Doesnt matter.

 137. What are your favorite baby names? Ive always liked Riley for a girl name and idk havent thought Bout a boys name.

 138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Maybe a week or so ago. Or a few days ago.

 139. What instantly ruins a conversation? Lack of excitement

 140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. Affection. And idk

 143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? God every day.

 147. What do you like about the 21st century? ???

 141. Biggest disappointment. Myself

 142. Do you have any self-restraint? A little.

 144. Prized possession(s)? little things

 145. What is your opinion on second chances? They might seem okay but idk.... depends i guess

 146. Text or call? Both, depends on whom im texting or callin

 148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Life is hard and stupid but choices you make will stay with you forever so what are you gonna do, follow your heart or head? (head is better hope)

 149. How organized are you? Eh not really anymore.

 150. Favorite mode of transportation. My car

[kohakhearts]

ten things you love about mahiru hiiragi go (I'm bored and I want to talk to someone about how much I love her rofl)

ok im finally home so lets see how long i can make this before i get too sleepy and can’t continue gsdhjf it’s all under the cut! let’s go !!

1. i love how all she wants is to be normal. she doesn’t like her status. she doesn’t like her intelligence. her family. her name. she just wants to be a “normal girl” and asgdhj i really Cannot Relate but it’s such a like , shocking alternative to edgy “i’m not like other girls” girls that predominant western young adult fiction lol. i really like that ! it gives her character an incredibly fascinating depth because she can’t be normal and the things she doesn’t like about her life are what wind up killing her :’)

2. but!!!! i love more that she doesn’t really care about that. mahiru is ridiculously selfless, to a fault i think. taking shinoa’s demon ? her rescue of sayuri (who she didn’t even know) against her own family ,, and then when all she, mahiru, wants is to be near guren, she fights against that desire, what might even be called a need, as she loses her own humanity just to keep him away from the demon she’s becoming. i think that’s so crazy strong and really admirable. i don’t think many people could do that in their weakest moments, knowing they’re fighting an impossible battle—and are about to lose it.

3. i really like that u literally have to read in between the lines to get a grasp on what she’s really like. it makes my writer heart soar lol she’s so flexible and there are so many different ways you can interpret her. the perspective we’re given on her, through guren and even a bit through shinya is that of like this untouchable goddess figure. everyone describes her as kind and beautiful and smart, but we see her as a really cold kid when she speaks to shinya, for example, and there’s this real air to her that just screams “hopeless” to me. she’s just a kid, but she already knows that she’s not going to get what she wants. 

4. i really like her first interactions with guren when they’re little. it’s really sad to me, honestly, like...she’s so young, but so aware of who she is and what that means and she desperately does not want to be that. her relationship with guren imo isn’t really founded on love (lol this coming from me...) or even a sexual desire, but rather the representation of that little kid she was with him, and of all the things she was when she wasn’t mahiru hiragi, but was just mahiru, guren’s friend from “nowhere.” she so desperately wanted to be a normal girl that she projected her desire to be this onto guren, and called that feeling love. i’ve no doubt she cared for guren as a person, but their relationship, at its roots, was more representative of their own respective desires to “get away” from something imo.

5. mahiru has this really interesting internal conflict of wanting to be “saved” but believing she needs to do it all herself. maybe nothing could’ve actually saved her, but i think even if there was a way, she wouldn’t have taken it. her primary motivation was not herself, but her sister and the boy she thought she loved. allowing them or anybody who could get close to them near enough to her to help didn’t seem safe to her. so, maybe rather than be selfless, she’s a little self-sacrificial. which is really interesting in contrast to guren, who sacrificed to entire world to save his friends... they’re very much two sides of the same coin i think :3

6. mahiru is emotional. i love that so much. she cries and she gets hurts easily and even though she acts cold with shinya, for example, or she pretends things don’t bother her that much (like when she sees guren after his fight). and she’s really fucking good at it. i really enjoy writing mahiru as someone who is literally conditioned to lie, to that point that she’s so good at it sometimes she can’t even tell if she’s telling the truth or not. because i really think that’s sort of how she is in canon. she’s all about masks, like shinya is, but she’s naturally emotional and she tries really, really hard to hide it behind a guise of logic. she knows that she shouldn’t let guren or shinoa be near her, but that’s what she wants more than anything. that’s why her human and demon sides clash so violently and directly oppose each other. her desires aren’t really sexual or violent or anything really dark... she just wants to be in-touch with guren and shinoa, and while her emotions rule both her human side and her demon side, she still puts logic first in her own mind. idk if this makes sense asghdjk i just think it is so cool especially because this specific internal conflict is one a lot of people struggle with irl.

7. she is so, so smart. there’s so much canon evidence for it and it’s spoken many times. she’s smart with books in numbers and she understands people and their reactions really well. but like she’s not ??? really conceited about it (or there’s not really anything to say that she is). there’s the part with shinya when they’re kids, but i think all that really does is prove that she’s aware she’s very powerful—more so than most others, even. really, from the little glimpses we get of her as a human, people seem to see her as kind and humble. she doesn’t appear to be very boastful of her achievements and skills. i think this comes back to her desire to be a “normal girl,” of course, but i just think it’s such an interesting facet of her character.

8. mahiru basically brought the world to its end and saved it. ofc she didn’t actually do it herself, exactly, but she was the major catalyst. so, really, no matter how you look at her, she’s neither evil nor good—but she’s not really a grey character, either, if that makes sense. she has a good sense of morals, i think, and humble ambitions, but the hiragi clan uses her as an experiment until that experiment gains sentience, basically, and then the part of her that is still mahiru is forced to take measures to both work alongside those parts of her that she has no control over and fight against them.

9. god she is so, so ambitious. it’s incredible. i think a lot of people miss this because her ambitions don’t seem that “big,” but she does so much just to give her sister a shot a life, for example. and i don’t think that demons really have much for ambitions on their own, but if their vessel does, it seems like they can do some pretty remarkable things in the name of ambition. mahiru gets the things she wants, or that her demon wants, even if it’s a damn-near impossible task. that’s so impressive. what a legend.

10. and of course id’ be a Fool if i skipped out on the fact that i love her so much just because she is so fucking! fun! to write. my mahiru and the mahiru in canon are really not the same person at all. my mahiru is witty and sassy, like her sister, but she’s kind and self-sacrificial like the mahiru i’ve been describing this whole time. mahiru is such a malleable character; as soon as you remove her from her canon setting, she changes to fit into the new role in an entirely different way. like i said, she’s so, so up to interpretation that it’s hard to find a reasonable interpretation of her that anybody could actually call wrong. i think it’s why a lot of people hate her, and i think it’s why a lot of us love her. she can really be what we want her to be, if we read her the right way. i think that’s so crazy cool. there aren’t a lot of characters like that in fiction. at least, not ones who aren’t obscure side characters aha.

[therewas-a-girl]

so - i got this amazing ask some days ago, and then like an idiot, accidentally deleted it. thankfully for me, outlook saved the copy from the notifications, so here it is

How do you see the Laurel/Oliver relationship? Otp? Notp? Brotp? More than friends, less than lovers? I always thought that their relationship was somehow complicated. Did you think that 5x08 showed that Laurel was really the love of Oliver's life, not Felicity? I love both ladies, but I kinda see Olicity as Otp and Lauriver as, actually I'm not sure what I see them as. They love each other, not romantically, but they're not exactly friends?

anon im so sorry for my carelessness, and for the late reply - free time is scarce for me these days. 

i wouldn’t say complicated - though they sure are! - it’s just that that is not the very first word i would pick for them. laurel and oliver’s story is just really long lol. it spans something around two decades, it has changed so much - just as they have, as people naturally do - so of course, it’s going to be complicated. it’s a really layered relationship - that’s the word i like for them. maybe it should be analysed by ‘historical period’ the way i study political systems in different countries lmao.

they’re not otp for me (though they’re not a notp either), because the way canon built their relationship, the dynamics of it and the dynamics between them, has some really ‘nope’ moments. i dont ship characters where one treats the other like shit. (i dont ship ships where the story treats one character like shit for the sake of another, either)

I do think that through the course of 4 years they finally made it to ‘friends’ status, yeah. in season 4 i really thought their friendship was cemented, because in season 2-3 they felt more like... acquaintances with a dangerous history. they had too much conflict between them to really earn a friend status to each other. (not to mention the way oliver failed time and time again to be what a friend should have been to laurel. and vice versa, ofc. tho i dont think in laurel’s case it’s as flagrant as oliver, but at this point im basing my opinion on general impressions cause i haven’t seen s3 in a while.) but, despite that, many times they protected each other, and supported each other throughout the show, even when they didn't seem to like each other much. 

in season 1, their relationship felt kind of muddy, to me because there is so much going on there. i mean these two used to be childhood friends at some point. then they got together and i think... i kid of think they weren’t friends anymore. i think oliver didn’t see it that way anyway. laurel was in the girlfriend category. and laurel was really young and, i believe, really idealistic, trying to fit into all these ideas that she believes a girl is, and a girlfriend is, and what love means. it’s everywhere in film and our culture that ‘complicated love’ is great and romantic when in most cases it just bad for your health. but we’re not trained to think of it that way. and that may be easy to see when you’re 26 y.o. but it wasn't when i was 17, and i imagine it wasn't for laurel either. i imagine she thought that hear-breaking and intense and painful is the way love is supposed to fee. all movies say so. 

[in parenthesis here, i don’t think oliver cheated on her as much as fandom likes to think he did. there are other ways to make sense of their relationship than to pretend laurel was an idiot or spineless or a ‘stupid girl’. 

he either got with other people when they were in their ‘off’ periods, which we know they had, because everyone says they were the kind of couple that was on-again off-again. or he cheated and she did not know about it. i tend to think it’s the first, from the interaction in the flashbacks between sara and laurel - when sara says ‘we both know at leas 10 girls he’s slept with.’ *slept with* , not *cheated on you with*. and i think this is the case also because it fits with my idea of the rest of laurel’s characterization: an idealistic girl who is so enamored with the idea of love, as well as her boyfriend, that she can’t really see the cracks. someone like that wouldn’t forgive cheating so easily, BUT it is entirely within this laurel’s character to believe she can help people change, and take oliver on also as a sort of project. 

(and when i see people sneering at this, and at laurel for having this idea, i remember, absolutely drowning in irony, about how many fanfics there are out there where ‘felicity changes oliver’ and ‘is oliver’s light’ or just the general romanticising of this idea that love is ‘a woman changing a man’ and being responsible for his ‘goodness’. like, it’s everywhere, so criticizing a girl for having this idea, any girl, feels a little hypocritical, because we all have to work to drain this kind of shit from out psyche.)]

and then the gambit happens and their relationship in s1 is just really heavy with the history of 5 years of accumulated emotion on both sides. not all good kind of emotion. laurel was all about “life, interrupted” and ‘what could have been’ and the possibilities of sth that never was. oliver was all about guilt and pursuit of laurel, the person, in order to find in her what had been keeping him alive - laurel, the idea, aka home, aka the end of all the violent fuckery, a time when things were simpler - throughout the five years he was away. s1 is such a mess of regrets, and broken hopes, of ‘you were mine once how dare you see/try to be happy with- other people’ kind of jealousy, on both oliver and laurel’s parts, and fear of attachment on laurel’s part - being afraid of getting with tommy after how she was betrayed the last time she let herself love someone. being left by tommy too, falling back in oliver. 

there is this poem by warsan shire that always makes me think of s1 laurel and her decision to sleep with oliver right after tommy refuses her again at Merlyn Global, after she tells him she loves him: 

when the one i wanted, did not want me.

I was almost rabid for love. Would’ve lunged at anything thrown my way carcass, shadow, memory, promise shell of a man. I thought it was better to be loved by a dead thing than to be left alone. Then I loved a dead thing and was completely alone

at some point in s1, i do think they were tentatively trying to be friends again, but there was a lot of shit that remained unresolved between them and that stuff doesnt just, go away if you ignore it because its awkward af. 

i dont even know if i take that s4 episode and the whole ‘love of my life’ seriously, to be honest with you. it’s not that it contradicts my idea of laurel’s development as a character. i can very well imagine that after seeing who oliver had become , how much he had changed, laurel might very well fallen back in love with him. laurel loves and admires strength and goodness. she falls in love with potential, as much as with the actual people. so no, it’s not impossible to me that she might have, during the course of season 4, fallen in love with oliver. again. if it were not for one detail. 

oliver didn’t tell her about the pit. laurel believes that for all that happened , he STILL does not see her as an equal. and i cannot believe that someone who has gone through the things laurel has gone through, can love someone who sees her as beneath himself. it’s just not realistic to me. her character would require a deep respect of her person, to allow herself even the smallest possibility of opening her heart again. 

5x08... i honestly only have my own idea of what that episode was. i rationalized it like this: oliver has a serious difficulty letting go of guilt. when laurel told him that she’d loved him all the while, that really cemented oliver’s regret after her death. canon hasn’t given us any hints on the fact that oliver might still be in love with her, romantically. but he does love her, she is a friend. she is someone important in his life. and knowing that she is dead , that kind of pain is deepened by the knowledge of how unhappy she must have been. specifically, how unhappy he made her. this combines with the trait oliver has that, whenever he regrets something, whenever he feels he has wronged someone he loves, that guilt pulls really heavily on his judgement. and he has this compulsion to give people what they want, what they might need from him. 

and that’s how i saw oliver’s dream world. a sort of tiny little prison he and the others were trapped in, where to get out they had to face their enemies and fears. and my idea was that, after defeating deathstroke and merlyn, the real test of strength was saying goodbye to an alive and happy laurel, for both sara and oliver. because in that moment of their lives, laurel - alive and happy and getting everything she had ever wanted, according to what oliver and sara thought she’d wanted - was their deepest wish, their latest and freshest regret. (this totally fails to account for  William in oliver’s life, and how that is also a big regret for him. but that’s details) 

so, yeah that’s how i think about it. basically, they’re friends with a fucked up childhood lmao 

[shakespearerants]

Why Modern Y/A Literature Is Shit - Five Lists, A Rant, And A Conclusion

Let’s start with the lists, shall we? First, we have the typical overused y/a protagonists. There are:

1) the incompetent-but-pretty female protagonist. I’m talking about that “oh I’m not like other girls I hate makeup and I’m sooooo clumsy and also a nerd because I don’t like to party” girl, the one that always says she’s ugly but is described as stereotypically attractive. Usually white. Always gets the insanely attractive guy in the end. Relatable ™.

2) the mysterious bad boy that every girl wants a slice of. Usually either rich, a supernatural being, or involved in some sketchy shit. Has a Tragic Backstory™ that is unlocked by the female protagonist after little-to-none probing, maybe some bambi eyes, when the story is at the point where he would look like a real douche if his shitty behavior was left unexplained.

3) the female Leader of the Revolution. Usually white. Fights for Freedom and What Is Good, would actually be pretty ok in my books, if there weren’t…

4) the male love interest of the female Leader of the Revolution. Usually very flat character. We know exactly two thing about him: a) He’s Sexy b) He’s In Love. Sometimes there’s a small bonus and we also know that he has a Tragic Backstory™, usually involving something that is supposed to show that he and the female Leader of the Revolution are Soulmates or at least that they have History Together. And then there’s…

5) the Love Triangle. Im counting this as “one” main character because, lets be honest, most (read: all that I know) love triangles don’t have enough depth to justify analyzing all three parts separately. It goes like this: girl was Normal and had Best Male Friend who was In Love With Her since Forever, but Never Said Anything. Then Something Happens and Guy Two (the mysterious bad boy) shows up, usually quite out of the blue. He is Mysterious and Experienced and Interested In The Girl, who is suddenly Very Important for a Higher Cause. Then Best Male Friend Gets Jealous and Confesses His Feelings when confronted by the Girl. Then all there of them go on an Epic Quest together. A common variation of this is Girl meets two boys. One is Nice™ and one is Sexy™. HOW WILL SHE DECIDE???!11?? (also epic quest in the backround)

And then we have the supporting characters. Who are usually either…

1) the gay OR the racially diverse Best Friend of the Protagonist. Especially if it’s a male protagonist. BUT CAREFUL!!!!!111! He has to be a) male b) EITHER gay OR racially diverse, and c) ok with casually used homophobic/racist stereotypes

2) the Nerd Friend of the (usually male) protagonist. Wears glasses. Doesn’t know anything about sports. Easily hurt. Thankful™ for their Cool Protagonist Friend. Usually bullied. Knows stuff about: a) Star Wars b) Comics c) Lord of the Rings. If the author is really adventurous he also cosplays, usually as a LOTR character

3) the Best Girl Friend of the incompetent-but-pretty female protagonist. Usually very flat character. Comes out of nowhere to Give Advice and disappears back into the void. 

But the most annoying thing is that literally almost every y/a novel or series that you pick up in literally any bookstore/library can be assigned one of these general storylines:

1) the Your Are Different storyline. Girl is Normal™. Maybe has a Tragic Backstory™, but nothing too bad. Then Something Happens and she learns that she is Not Normal, by which I mean that she either has some sort of supernatural powers or that she is The Long Lost Princess or at very least The Chosen One. Then some love triangle comes to spiel, she has to Leave Her Old Life Behind and Save The World. Book ends with some sort of sappy love confession or her deciding which part of the love triangle she chooses. Sometimes seen with a male protagonist, but without the love triangle. 

2) the Love Triangle storyline. Well. I think it’s self-explanatory.

3) the Supernatural Shit Going On storyline. Someone (usually a guy) is the Chosen One. Chosen One has to fight in order to save some recently discovered world/their own world. Meets some friends who are usually two or more dudes and one super badass girl who is only there because Equality™ and is either the one who gets Possessed By The Evil or is the only one who has to be saved at one point in the story. If we have a female protagonist then she and the girl Hate Each Other For Literally No Reason until the protagonist Saves The Girl in some very dramatic way and they realize that the other is Actually Not That Bad. Female protagonist usually teaches girl about Feelings and maybe sets her up with That One Guy In The Group that she’s had a crush on for Literal Years but never made a move because Feelings Are For Babys or she was Scared And Didn’t Know What To Say To Him. 

4) the This Book Isn’t Like Other Books storyline. Some shit that doesn’t have anything to do with interpersonal relationships or at the most bullying is going on. Usually features a Controversial Protagonist™ (read: the one who started the deeply illegal or at least sketchy shit that’s going on and is also the muggle version of Voldemort, character wise). The (usually male) protagonist, who is also a social outcast, now has to work to Stop The Sketchy Shit that he started, but he Can’t Do It Alone. A group of three people (two boys, one pretty girl), who are also a part of the Popular Group At School, are somehow pulled into the shit and help the Controversial Protagonist™ Fix His Mistakes and Become A Better Person. Sometimes they become friends in the end. 

AND, because I can, have some shitty shitty plot devices.

1) the Love Triangle. It’s shitty and unnecessary in every way because it always features at least 3 of these things: bad writing. Heteronormativity. Exclusively white people. Disregard of the feelings of the female lead by at least one of the guys. Use of past traumatic experiences of one of the male leads to justify predatory and/or dangerous/possessive behavior. Related to that: use of mental illness/trauma solely to gain sympathy of the audience. Characters’ (specially the guys’) lives and decisions revolve around romantic/sexual relationships. Related to that: romanticization of unhealthy relationships. Enforcement of gender stereotypes. Objectification of the characters (especially the male characters). 

2) Miscommunication. I don’t even have to say anything, do I.

3) The One Friend In The Group That Betrays Them All And The Subsequent Fallout. WHY. WHY do authors feel the need to have one person in a close-knit group of friends betray everyone. I mean, it would even be THAT bad if most authors didn’t use it as a cheep method to create suspense for the final showdown, or kill off a character, or to distract from the fact that most villains in modern y/a literature are really flat characters with no real motives for their plans for world takeover or whatever it is they’re trying to accomplish by giving them a radicalized follower. 

4) the Love Confession When The Guy Either Thinks She’s Chosen Someone Else Or Is Being Separated From The Girl. Like. NO. Just no. Thats like THE cheapest way to create emotional conflict. Or to subtly manipulate your readers. Because that is essentially what the author is doing: guilt-tripping you into supporting a relationship, because unless that guy was a real douchbag, and if he WAS, 99% of the people who read that stuff will be like “OH MY POOR BBY JUST GOT HIS HEART BROKEN” and BAM, no one’s gonna argue that his feelings aren’t genuine, or say that he doesn’t deserve her, bc bitch did you read this he confessed to her when he thought he was never gonna see her again  

5) the Love Confession From Her Jealous Best Friend. Again, a cheep way to create emotional tension and gain sympathy from the reader. 

6) the Vaguely Sexual Encounter. Usually something comparatively innocent, like a heated kiss or make-out session, usually used to intensify emotional dilemma, either because of a love triangle (I really can’t stand love triangles) or because she shouldn’t be kissing the guy or something. And the thing is, it wouldn’t even be a bad thing if it weren’t completely misplaced (like, a day away from the final battle misplaced) in most cases, or worse: slutshaming. Or, worse still: the cringey sex discussion that ends in either slutshaming or kinda just fizzles out.   

7) the We’re Gonna Die But It’s Okay Because I Love You talk, usually delivered by the male lead to the female lead before all goes to shit. And honestly I have never read a book where this shit happened where they knew each other for more than four weeks. And lemme tell you there is nothing more unrealistic than a teenage dude giving a two-page talk about why he loves a girl that he’s known for a maximum of four weeks. I once read a book where this happened and they knew each other for three days and made out once and he literally gave that speech twice (no, I’m not taking about Romeo and Juliet). Like, do you authors understand the people you are writing books for? Do you have any idea how teenage relationships work? 

8) Bulling That’s Used As A Plot Device But Ultimately Stays Unresolved or, even worse, The People Who Bully Me Are (A Part Of) The Group I Have to Join To Save The World And Suddenly We’re Best Friends. THIS. THIS is almost worse than the fucking love triangle shit. Because lemme tell you something: If bullying isn’t stopped, if the bullies don’t face consequences for their actions, then guess what? IT’S NOT GONNA FUCKING STOP, THATS WHAT. It’ll continue on and on and on until someone won’t take that shit anymore. Yeah, sure, it might seem like it stopped, especially if you’re seeing everything from the view of a character who was suddenly not bullied anymore, but let me tell you: that is an illusion. They just shift to the next victim. And it’s so so toxic to write it like everything is suddenly ok, oh my gosh. Because it’s not, it doesn’t stop, it just shifts to somewhere else, and thousands of bullied kids that read these books are gonna think that it does. And they’re gonna go and look at their bullies and start feeling sympathy for them because they read a hundred and one books where the bullies are actually good guys, so their bullies can’t be that bad, can they? And voila, thats the first step to excusing toxic behavior. The first step to make sure that these kids never speak up against oppressors. 

Some things that I am really sick of in general but even more when seen in y/a literature: 

1) bad and/or lazy writing, especially when it comes to character development

2) casual sexism

3) underrepresentation and/or stereotypization of LGBTQIA characters

4) underrepresentation and/or stereotypization of non-white characters

5) lack of female supporting characters

6) little to no character development seen in male characters, especially love interests/supporting characters

7) reinforcement of stereotypically masculine/feminine character traits

8) little to no explanation offered concerning culture and other specifics of fantasy worlds (also known as WHY WRITE FANTASY IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA INCLUDE SOME ACTUAL FANTASY)

9) romanticization of toxic relationships

10) hypersexualization of teenagers, because no matter how good looking he is, you shouldn’t describe a sixteen year old boy the same way you would a twenty five year old porn star

And the thing is that this isn’t some kind of one time thing. I didn’t just finish a series that i really disliked or read a few bad books in a row. This rant is the product of literal year-long frustration because I literally cannot find anything in the y/a section of bookstores and libraries and publishing companies websites that doesn’t feature at least one of the above mentioned main characters, one of the above mentioned supporting characters, and some variation of the above mentioned storylines. And I am honestly so sick of it, and so are many many more young adults, because in the beginning you just read that shit, you know. And then it comes to the point where you get so sick of seeing the same stories repeated over and over and the same characters used over and over that you start really searching for books that are different. But these books are so rare, and so hard to find! And after some time you start feeling like you’re being bullshitted by authors and publishing companies. Because most of y/a literature is not only cliche and stereotypical and just plain boring after some time, its also often very badly written. And I’m not just talking language here, though that is a part of it. I’m talking major plot holes, complete lack of character development, period novels or novels that feature time travel being so cringe-worthily historically inaccurate that you actually start wonder if the author did it on purpose, a suspense arc that would, drawn, look like a squiggly line or, even worse but sadly even more common, just a downward sloping curve that maybe, if you’re really lucky, curves slightly upwards again in the last five chapters. There are so many y/a novels out there that I seriously can’t imagine ever having been edited or beta read. And lately it seem like most publishing companies out there just don’t care what they publish any more, you know? Its just one love triangle after the other. And honestly society is moving forward at an increasingly fast pace, the current generation of teenagers and young adults is becoming more tolerant and open minded by the second, and the literature that is written for us, marketed towards us is still dominated by heteronormativity, all-white characters, a lack of male protagonists in the romance and of female protagonists in the action/adventure genre, and sexism. Like, okay, if you think a love triangle is necessary for your story, why not write in a bit of representation for the LGBTQIA community and make it a polyamory in the end instead of having your heroine decide between two hot guys? Or just feature a bi protagonist instead of the cliche straight girl? If you wanna write that stereotypical high school romance why not feature a protagonist who is not white for a change? Also there is a huge difference between books written for boys and books written for girls that is honestly, in my opinion, incomprehensible. Especially if you factor that most boys between the ages of 12 and 20 just don’t read novels because they think reading in general is stupid or they can’t relate to the characters that are portrayed. And this is honestly so concerning because most boys are behind their female classmates when it comes to reading and language skills, which scientists say is a result of boys reading less for enjoyment in their free time, especially less fiction. (sources: (x) (x) (x)) And honestly I can see where thats coming from, there is a) very little literature written for boys, and lets be real, how many boys do you know that would voluntarily read something thats explicitly being marketed for girls and b) the literature actually written for boys is tremendously boring and even more stereotypical and redundant than literature written for girls, plus, you sometimes get the very paradox impression that sex is a kind of tabu theme in boys literature. Like in girls literature its ridiculed and treated in some sort of prepubescent giggly way even though most of literature written for girls revolves around sexual and romantic relationships, but it is addressed, even if its done in an immature way. But boys literature is all about action and danger and bros before hoes. Most books written for a male audience don’t even feature a love interest. And again, this is paradox and kind of weird or even ridiculous because boys are expected to be sexually active from a very young age and the teenage years are the years of (sexual) self-discovery, so in almost all media boys are portrayed as very experienced and sure in their sexuality, except for literature aimed towards them, where they are treated the same way little children are treated: you just don’t talk about sex. How can you expect boys to be sure of themselves when you just leave them in the dark about what they are supposed to be sure about? And don’t even get me started on hyper masculinity portrayed in almost every male character I’ve ever seen in a book (honestly, I won’t start on it because I think that a) my point is clear and b) no one would actually have the patience to read this till the end if I did).

So what’s my conclusion? Well, mainly that y/a literature is currently a lot of shit, and it needs to change to fit the needs and interests of the group that it’s trying to reach. The current development in literature aimed towards young women that features a growing hyper-sexualization of teenage boys and a shift to almost exclusively straight romance literature combined with a gradual decrease of writing quality is very concerning, as is the lack of development in literature aimed towards young men, which seems to be stuck in three genres: mystery/thriller, sports, and action/adventure.

[deeeknows]

While I might hurt a feeling or two God is still working with me and as a huge disclaimer I suck and everything I try to do on my own sucks so if there are any parts of what I will go into saying that you disagree with give it about 3 honest minutes of chewing before you have my permission to never read my blog again. Unless you enjoy spitting up all over yourself XD. All good parts of this Blog will be God inspired so the credit goes to him.

I don't wanna leave anything out so skip to the good parts if you ever get bored. I promise I wont tell anyone.

June 14

Came and went but what I do remember the most is the drive up. not because i missed my mommy which i might have but because it would be setting the tone for everything that this next 6 weeks was going to be. I rode with my neighbor up and it was a cool little trip until we got off exit 51. The usual city stuff I was used to and could deal with easily especially sitting in the back seat lol. but as we trecked closer and closer to 318 S Gilmore St ya boy started to get a little more and more worried about where I was going and what I was going to be doing because of who I was riding with. then came the dreaded question, "uhhh do you know where you are, you sure you're gonna be ok?" important part. I was so comfortable with being a christian when the relationship was just me and God. But, as soon as I was expected to communicate my decision I made with God with anyone I didn't wanna do it anymore because just saying i want to do anything solely in Gods name turned me I became the crazy which no one could relate. but thats just telling you the mindset i came into this program with. hopefully i didn't lose too many of you people yet.

June 15

today was my first full day in baltimore city and i have many emotions it started with daily prayer and that was chill but early. we started with downloading about the passage on bonding as missionary and what stood out to us. Important part serving a place is about serving the people there. and there is no way i can serve people I haven't created a bond with. I'm not here to be bonding with the people i came with. thats gonna happen regardless. I'm here to make sure that the south west baltimore can see God and how he is working in the city.

We began to talk about what were some of the community questions some other people might have about the new city we were coming into and seeing what we could learn from the people who were engaged. that was fun we were talking to folks who worked around here in the shops that weren't abandoned as well as 2 police officers. Important part the people were so quick to distance themselves from the violence that was "over there". I want to find out more about this and see what others think about why this community struggles so much to grow together in unity. then was dinner at primos which was chill the best thing there was the pineapple soda which was a change in pace from the tap water. I also went to the prayer which was cool to see these strange white people out here on FIRE for God. It was refreshing. I was told there I have eyes of fire and im going to heal and peace will travel with me so im writing it down for memory sake. my favorite thing was the NA meeting today. Lee spoke and it was scary how well he knew himself and Important part the steps he took to get better all remind me of how in my walk the only way I get to take any steps on the road to recovery is with someone walking along side of me, well second day down.

June 16

Here we go. The 3rd day was just as good as the last couple. Nah that was a lie but thats besides the point. It started with bible study on what “is” from our ought is little thingy. We studied the fall of man this morning and how it was centered around our idea for self sufficiency. Important part we wanted to be able to provide for ourselves and live without God but that was just impossible. And I fell in love again with what God did instead of doing what he promised the man and the women. Important part God loved the men and women more than animals he sacrificed to make them skins and stay in community with them. Afterwards we went on a walk around the block and I saw bruce street. what a sight. I wanted to take a picture of the streets. boarded homes and the almost Prison yard of a block and the people who were protecting it. I see the people there and they are on my heart daily. the one way street does it justice. then we played ball with Ty and Justin and Juwan. Afterwards I rewatched 13. the documentary was hard to watch and be a spokesperson for all black men in america but that happens. i didnt like it at all actually, but thats alright its not about me 🙄 I am helping people see the the black experience. thankful for doing that hard things that i still dont wanna do but have to.

June 17

Today started with the same old I even ate breakfast today which I guess changes things up a little bit. I guess I was feeling freeky. But we studied with Uesin today the book of Ruth. not Ester, Ruth. and it was a story about the redeeming of both and how boaz was THE MAN. Important part But what I couldn't think more about was how Ruth would not let go of Naomi and how I want to develop relationships like that with people who are are not even “my people” but yeah that was the highlight of my day. Then we went to buy food and then from there went to the refugee dinner. Never mind I change what I was going to say. This was the highlight of my day dont know why im keeping this in here but comic relief is good for the soul.

Regardless of how amazing the food was and how sorry the situation of the process to become a refugee in america was we had two muslim families here who cooked US dinner. This blows my mind. This whole time I was thinking we were going to be just Talking to them but when we got there I was greeted with a new reality. These people weren’t eating and some described their time in the US as worse than the camps in Jordan. Important part So my prayer for these folk will be for the “language” barrier we have here in the US. Not to make it easier because english sucks but to make the people in these communities see the need and start to work with the folk. the communication is frustrating and can be a roadblock to people trying to get an education and even lead to them dropping out of school because of the culture shock and all that nice stuff. yeah in the end baltimore school not going easy on the Syrian families and they need our help to come along side and meet them halfway.

June 18

and then it was sunday. My day started with Megan and the farmers market. what I remember from watching the people was how the blacks lined up outside of the market and were all there just in a huge crowd. It was hard to see. the city making its attempt to grow. As i got to walk through I was most struck by how not black the market was. and i knew that because of who was selling and what people were buying. almost every stand was a white family and that wasn’t bad it just is another example of people coming into the city to address the needs here and the city losing its money to “outsiders” the folks who were living there dont get pay taxes on the food they were buying and everything is cash there. but i saw some characters XD and spent much of my time praying for and observing the people who were out and about on the sunday morning. ill be there next week again because of my love for people watching and fresh food tho lol.

my next stretch point came when praying over the sermon and doing it the way i do it at home. with the holy spirit guiding me and im glad my fake shell deteriorating. but the sermon was about for me seeing the city the way God does and if i do how will my actions change accordingly. Important part I want to see a redeemed baltimore and pastor Hopkins made it me see that there is no way it happens without the church people living and building communities in the gutter. we are here now, lets set up camp and use the rest of Jeremiah 29. my trip to baltimore inner harbor was cool the east side is completely different than the west and i definitely  wanna see more of what thats about. lastly my highlight of the day was at the latino service. not only did it make me miss home T-T but i learned about phillip and how to address people in the community by the direction of the holy spirit and that his timing will do all the hard work. Important part man that Spanish service also helped me to see that the communities here all want the same thing and are using the similar methods so maybe we try something new or try something together. the churches are here to address the needs of the community i like how city minded these communities are here in the inner city. yeah the murder rate through the roof but the children here are so intelligent and valuable to me that i cant let it go. this was my first time practicing the sabbath i like this way of thinking.

June 19

Juneteenth. Today I learned what 10:12 sports is and got to see into the heart of Brother Jeff Thompson. He is a man with the zeal for God and wants to do so much for these kids in his neighborhoods near and far across the baltimore city. He has almost adopted these two kids picking them up for a bite to eat and just spending time goal setting with them. lil Wayne and Teon were there names since I was looking for who to pray for. but i learned much from the youth just their little goal setting session showed me the heart of many of the children I believe are in this area. of course its not the same when other people are around so these 1 on1 sessions are going to go really well. Important part they have goals. pull them out of the kids because they know where they wanna go and if they dont start them dreaming and ask how you can help them get there. after we went to silver spring and back and then i cooked dinner and popped my hand real bad on the oil. but thats regular. the evenings we started VBS and i know my love for the kids is starting to seep out but they just want some attention and all at once is impossible but Im not sure how to do that and educate them all yet. partner grouping might be too soon for these young ones but maybe personalized lessons with 2-3 would prove beneficial. time will tell

June 20

today was another good day started off like they all do. prayer and community. we went and picked up all the kids and went to see pastor Andrew? i be forgetting names. but what was so striking about this encounter was how passionate brother Jeff was pursuing these kids. Like he wouldn't not take no for an answer. And it looked like he wanted them to go more than they wanted to go. And not that it was bad but they just wanted to do what they were used to and what they were comfortable with. Beach trips to ocean city which arent bad but they arent going to change your life every week. What i see in addition is how to guide the child to what you know will be good for them. Plus teaching them about life through weeds and pouring into them with the resources with what you have. expect much and give more was what I learned from today. driving all around the city picking and waiting on kids brother Jeff is officially brother Jeff to me as well after today. The respect is there. What else I did was the VBS and I love those kids man they gotta keep growing to meet my expectations Important part the trick is keeping them high and moving them higher steadily even if they dont meet them not to forget that they are still worth my time and i GLADLY give it when I have it. much love.

yeah so based on how I feel about this later on after its posted and time to proofread XD i might do something like this next week. hope you got lost somewhere in there and you needed to think twice about something because other wise ill make this more complicated. jkjk but sorry about the capitalization stuff and grammar thats more effort than im willing to give. I hope it doesnt ruin it for you. Important part my last impression would be to find a good book and drink more tea. My challenge for you this week would be to leave your phone on your bed when you leave in the morning. My question for you would be how can i get these children outta there homes before 3pm ?