#im done forgiving ppl when they have done anything to deserve that forgiveness

[ghouldtime]

i usually don’t message anyone or anything but i just wanted to say i love your characterizations of konig, ghost, and soap very much. the love and appreciation you have for these characters really come through in your writing.

the cod fandom is full of talented writers but the majority of them write smut. it gets tiring scrolling through the tag and just seeing porn when i actually just wanna see… ppl who enjoy the characters outside of sex appeal, yk? so your blog, truly and genuinely, is a breath of fresh air.

that’s not even mentioning the ppl who write them as abusive or use them to fulfill certain fantasies. i mean i don’t kink shame ofc, but idk sometimes ppl write them in extremely degrading ways that do a disservice to their character and it bugs me a little. plus all the “innocent bimbo reader” rhetoric, idk it gets tiring.

anyway, sorry for the yap session, but i did mean everything i said genuinely !!

💚💚💚💚 Salutations anon! You really don't know how much I appreciate hearing this. Seriously, messages like this give me motivation to keep writing and to stay active on here. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU from the very depths of my heart. You've all been so so incredibly kind, sweet, and encouraging 😭 I don't know what I've done to deserve this but it's appreciated and you all are absolutely awesome. This has made my YEAR, thank you for taking time out of your day to send my silly self a message 💚💚💚💚💚

I'm so so happy my characterizations have hit the mark for some people and that I'm (hopefully) doing them some justice! I'm always worried about that because characterization matters heavily to me and I want to respect their characters and how much they mean to me and other people through it EVEN IF THE WRITERS OF THE LAST MODERN WARFARE DON'T KNOW WHAT A PROPER STORY LINE IS AND KILLED SOAP WHICH I'M NOT FORGETTING, IM NOT FORGIVING, AND IM CERTAIN NOT LIVE LAUGH LOVING WITH IT. I'm refusing to accept he's dead, no matter what they say

I love the boys all so much. They all have such interesting things about them and have a lot more dynamic to them than people think and I just want to represent them right, especially lesser appreciated characters (haven't actually really written for them yet but Keegan, Logan, Hesh, Sandman, Roach, Nikto, Krueger - legit I love them, anyone feel free to send asks or scenarios you'd like I WILL write them. Legit, y'all, you can send me asks about certain characters even if there isn't much on them. I WILL do my research and I WILL write to the best of my ability)

Oh there's many talented writers in the COD Fandom, there really are. I can't say I really know any personally seeing as I never really interact with other blogs but I've seen some reallly really nice fics with so much thought put in them. But equally, there's a lot of just... smut. Not even well written smut, I'm sorry, but a lot of it is just really, really poorly written. I'm all for do what you want, write whatever makes you happy. Freedom of speech! If it makes you happy, cool! But I'm also going to cringe cause a lot of it is... yeah, yikes

Not trying to be the smut police and say every detail must be accounted for and everyone should follow it in a certain way but plz basic anatomy 101, basic prep 101, no guy gal or enby pal will appreciate it if you just shove it in to anywhere dry and I've seen a loooot of that and other things that just hurt?????

I get it, people learn by reading/writing, but this is literally just a single search away. And common sense. There's also a lot of practices being unsafely represented (like fifty shades of gray level) and uh it's not on purpose, it's not meant to be dubious, but it just is written as that. PLEEEEASE please please do some research, the internet is right there

But I felt the same way. Like bless whatever y'all want to write, no shame and NO shade to writing smut. I'll probably eventually do it myself again in the future (undecided on that but it'd likely be a side blog if I do and would never be a main focus, I prefer story over smut action. Once again, no shade and no shame to those who don't, to each their own!). Never ever going to full on NSFW mode or only writing that, I'm always always always going to prioritize writing the characters first and trying to get more stories out there about them :D

But I got tired of opening it and all I see is just... smut, smut, more smut, extremely dubious content x 50. And maybe a sprinkle of normal things or fluff here and there. I just don't look in the tags honestly anymore, because so many people just don't properly tag it or give 0 warning at all, not even under a read more, just BAM, unavoidable unless you flat out don't look at the tags at all

There's more to the characters than just being attractive 😭and I love exploring those aspects of them and trying to figure out why they are the way they are

Also I'm ALWAYS going to have an issue with people who fetishize horrible things. When you're actively fantasizing and writing about someone abusing someone else, like flat out abuse, and being incredibly toxic and terrible to someone - just, please talk to a therapist. That's not social commentary, that's not a proper portrayal of real, HORRIBLE things that affect many people and have very real repercussions - that's perpetuating the negative narrative around a lot of struggles and setting it back by instead turning it into something that's treated as attractive. I really fully can elaborate on this and have a whole rant - but it's not cute and it's NEVER cool to fetishize actual, awful awful things that happen to people. Dead dove doesn't excuse you from judgement - especially when it's not even acknowledged. You're just saying you know what you write is probably morally reprehensible. Hey, I'm going to reprehend and won't respect you at all when you write awful things just cause and get off on it. Think people forget that. Dead dove is a descriptor and doesn't excuse you or make you instantly free from judgement or mean you're not doing something problematic/disgusting. It's just saying you know it is, that's about it.

I don't get why people do that when it's clear they have no idea what they're talking about. I've seen that a lot with the bully! Things. Like... wow, clearly some of you WEREN'T bullied and you're writing about it and it shows because if you were, hey, you know how fucking awful that shit is and how it leaves life long effects. Not saying this applies to all but there's a lot I see like that where it's just ".... wow, okay, so you don't have any idea what you're talking about, cool."

AND YEAH the mischaracterization really does do a great disservice where it's clear they're just after the characters for their physique. They just warp them so bad it's like "Are we talking about the same character?" . In AUs you get to explore that and can shape them to your wants, that's your choice! Highly recommend AU's, it allows so much freedom.

But when it's like.... regular? And it's just no where close and they're doing a 180 in how they actually are (like having Ghost flirt with strangers and be big scary daddy dom im sorry he's not at allllll) I don't get it and it's clear you really aren't writing about or for the character - at that point, plz, make your own characters. Just make your own OCs, it's great! And you can make them HOWEVER you want instead of just ignoring a character's characterization to make them fit what you want. And guess what? It's your character so you can TRULY do what you want and have them the way that you want instead of bending characters to fit a box that they weren't made for

I'm not saying you HAVE to write a character the same as me or in a specific way, but when it's a character with an established personality/backstory, the least you can do is follow that outside of AU's if you're writing for them. That's... the whole point of writing that character - I don't get why you'd write for them specifically if you're literally going to ignore everything about them

SPEAKING OF THE INNOCENT BIMBO THING, I'm also really not a fan. Once again, if that makes you happy to write or read, cool! I just am NOOOOT a fan. Why does the reader always have to be so small and so delicate and so pure/innocent? Why does the reader have to be just so UWU coded? Why are they always like "oh you're so little and small :( and just don't know any better" . It's either that or they're John fucking Wick with little in between. Pleeeease it hurts my soul

Its why I try to genuinely write a neutral geared reader with reactions that will likely fit a lot of people! I'm always taken out of a story's immersiveness when it mentions something like like your hair length or how uwu small you are in comparison. Give me just... average sensible reader. Give me reader who has realistic human reactions. Give me reader who isn't perfect, give me a reader who isn't magically special or different. Give me a reader who is just doing their best, who is THEMSELVES, with no intent otherwise. I love those fanfics so so much instead of trying to feel like I have to be something I'm not to get myself in the mindset to read some pieces NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YAPPING. IM ALWAYS WANTING TO TALK IM ALWAYS AROUND 💚💚💚💚THANK YOU FOR THE MESSAGE IT MAKES MY HEART WARM AND MAKES ME SO SO HAPPY

[p-oisn]

let's get positive ! (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）

(the content below the cut contains mentions of sensitive topics such as implied su*cide & sh so pls scroll if you're uncomfortable w those !)

this is a long rant about life basically .. 💩💩

i was going to make a post like this sometime later anyways bc i felt .. like a nice person ... but i made it a bit earlier than i expected bc i saw a post from oomf that really made me think .. so here u go

this comes from my own PERSONAL experiences and this is js my point of view yk !!! im no expert on any topic HSHSJ this is js the way i cope plz dont come for me in my asks ... i am aware that it isn't the same for everyone but , i hope this message can be helpful to some extent </3

if you feel like like life is leading nowhere n you feel like giving up I PROMISE it will get better bc i felt the same for two whole years n i will say that i have improved a LOT since . yes , it took me longer than i expected but i didn't give up and you shouldn't either ! it was hard n there were times i felt like i wasn't making any progress / improvement but in the end , it still got better

be kinder (to yourself, first) ☆

i think the first step to loving yourself is to forgive yourself .. its okay to try over n over again , you're still human n i think ppl tend to forget that often bc they're so tough on theirselves . let's not forget that your body is actively trying it's best to keep u alive , your WBCs for example ! (let's appreciate these little guys for trying their best 🎉🎉) your body too , deserves to be loved back , for fighting so hard just for YOU! so pls don't hurt yourself in any way </3

appreciate yourself for achieving even the smallest of tasks because even if it wasn't something big , YOU DID IT ANYWAYS ! every small achievement of yours deserves to be appreciated . even if it's momentary happiness , appreciate yourself while it lasts . i understand that sometimes even small things could be such a hassle but you can always reward yourself later ! i personally like to buy donuts everytime i finish something (this could come in handy when you're really craving something if you get what im saying ..)

It's okay if you're going at a slower pace than other people , what matters in the end is that you get it done ! everyone is not the same so it's unfair to put yourself down for such things .. also applies to comparing yourself to someone because in the end you'll still be you .. even if you don't like it .. that makes you unique ofcourse , there's only one of you in this world so embrace yourself for that !! you're one of a kind (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

oh, but, life's the same, it's boring ... ☆

yes , a lot of days could end up being the exact same because like , there are 365 days in a year so you can except most of them to be similar .. but as a new year starts , ofc many things change without you even noticing it , you grow older ofcourse , and you could be starting a new year in school , you meet new people and so on ! if you compare your life from a year ago or even a few months ago to now , you'll surely notice a few differences atleast so .. life is not reaaaaally the same right .... everyday is a new experience ! literally anything and i mean anything could happen the next day , you could even win the lottery who knows 🤫

when i felt like everyday was the same , i tried changing my patterns .. (my current favourite thing to do is go on a walk ! sometimes i take my dog w me , it's super fun) i would do small things that i dont usually do like sketch ! or i attempt cooking something new .. but obviously there were a LOT of days where i did nothing , sometimes even weeks , and that's okay ! we all deserve days where we do nothing ESPECIALLY if you're someone who is working or js in school / college everyday .. you deserve that break

i think a big factor is being unproductive ? don't get me wrong , i still am my same unproductive self at times unfortunately , n sometimes they do get so bad that they lead to a terrible burnout .. n i went through a rly bad burnout not long ago n trust me you do not want to get this far :( how do i deal with this ? (let's take studying as an example here) well i always start off with small portions , even if it's just a page or two . n then i slowly keep increasing the amount of pages i read .. n yes ofc , i understand how brutal burnouts can get sometimes n that's why it's important to not overwhelm yourself by attempting to finish a big portion of your studies in one go .. just take it easy , let the information marinate in your head for a bit before you move on to the next topic .. so basically what im trying to say here is don't overwhelm yourself with big tasks especially when you're already burntout

friends .. they're great ☆

the thing that honestly improved my life by a mile is getting good friends .. I've had my fair share of bad friend groups so trust me when I say this , it's better to be alone than with people who drain you mentally because . you deserve someone who treats you the way you actually want to be treated .

"but it's hard to make friends" i completely get this because i am a very shy person myself </3 but i think you could start by trying to make friends online ! its easy to find someone with similar interests on the internet .. so when you feel down atleast you know that there's someone on the other side of the world who cares for you ..

but this doesn't change the fact that solitude is AMAZING too (tbh i could go on for a really long time on how i love being by myself but this is already getting super lengthy ...) you can be your own friend too ! (okay see now this seems insane but if it makes you happy WHO CARES AMIRITE) i personally enjoy my own company like omg .. she can get a good laugh out of me sometimes ... you can do whatever you want when you're alone ! you can dance to your favourite playlist or experiment with a bunch of stuff ! if you get bored you can watch your favourite movie or consume your favourite piece of media that no one gets like you 🤫 so , as much as making friends sounds great , let's appreciate solitude too !!

ah, life can be beautiful sometimes? ☆

one of the biggest reasons i go on walks almost regularly is to remind myself how beautiful the world can be sometimes .. (atp half of this is me convincing you all to go on walks) i live in a beautiful neighbourhood n there are a lot of different flowers and fruits that grow here and that makes me really happy . going on early morning walks especially is soo fun , the world is so quiet then and you can even watch the sunrise 🥹

another thing is buying myself things i like ... especially clothes ... if you think you would look good in something then js go ahead and buy it ! don't mind what other people think because like ... YOU are wearing it and if people around you have a problem with that then i think they should close their damn eyes and not look at you if it bothers them that much 🤦 you deserve to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin , you deserve to dress the way you want to ! so if you feel like dressing a particular way would make you feel better .. GO FOR IT !!! this applies to other things you like, maybe accessories, merch or stationary that look cute .. it's okay even if people judge you for your style because in the end they're the ones who are boring and miserable because they spend soo much time hating on others 😒

life is soo much more fun when you take care of yourself trust me ... you deserve to be taken care of !! so spoil yourself once in a while i promise it's okay as long as it makes you happy <3

to sum it all up .. yes , good times don't last forever but so don't bad times , and you and i both can get through a bad day because life is still going on (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ bad times too , will pass . so please believe in yourself and hold on !! i love you

again, this is all how*I* like to cheer myself up so pls don't take anything here in a bad way 😖 all of this was made with good intentions and im so sorry if i still ended up hurting anyone in any way ..

[urbestestwindgod]

epic the musical sagas 1-7 song rating tw i have bad taste

1. keep your friends close—this shouldnt be a shocker this was the song that after knowing abt epic but noy having tiktok at the time to be able to see its progress n stuff i didnt know much abt it n listening to the songs out of order was confusing but the moment i hesrd this enchanting melody i was a fan fan downloading tiktok just for the updates from jorge this has been my unbeatable favorite for a while im rlly annoying abt it as we know

2. open arms—the first released song i heard that introduced me to epic and again not knowing much abt it or how to listen to it in order in the early days (fun fact my intelligence peaked in algebra and ive never been that smart abt anything else ever) seeing ppl talk abt polities not knowing he died was kinda scary like wdym this cutie goes to “the wrong club”?? :(

3. suffering—its fun n ody gets to talk to his wife what do u want from me

4. scylla—AHHHHHHHHHH i fold over and seize every time those strings start after the “hello”

5. ruthlessness—like the idea of poseidon man handling him what can i say WHAT DO YOU W A N T from meee

6. wouldnt you like—i would i would

7. remember them—hes so dumb i lovw him

8. lucky runs out—if iii wasnt overstimulated rn i could gather my thoughts and explain this but unfortunately i am a student

9. storm—this and luck runs out are twins in my head and heart

10. polyphemus—THATS MY CYCLOPS!!! HELL YEA!!!

11. legendary—very good, love how telemachus sings like an adolescent love his dreams and love him unfortunately it IS in the same saga as….her

12. little wolf—I THOUGHT WE WOULD ALL AHIP HIM AND ANTINOUS AFTER THIS AONG BC THERES TENSION GUYS I SWEAR WDYM ITS CONTROVERSIAL :(

13. no longer you—if i could dance i would dance to this, with air probably but still

14. full speed ahead—need this song spoonfed to me while i bang on the table like a toddler in a highchair

15. the horse and the infant—NEOPTOLEMUS MENTIONED??? AHHH!!!!

16. different beast—lovely lovely lovely his voice is so

17. survive—oooo uhhhh

18. mutiny—it shocks me every time somehow

19. monster—should be higher but i forgor abt it srry—yeayea great song kick my feet to it wvery tim

20. warrior of the mind—greek son and thought daughter (was funnier in my head)

21. my goodbye—she leaved :(

22. puppeteer—if circe (odyssey) didnt plague my view of circe (epic) i would like her songs more sorry guys

23. done for—is it baaaaadddd that i dont have many thoughts on this :(

24.there are other ways—IM SURE THERE ARE CIRCE IM SURE THERE ARE

25. thunder bringer—again this was meant to be higher but i was gonna put it somewhere special and forgor :(

26. the underworld—oh ouch ouch ouch ouchie ouch

27. god games—THE SNIPPET OF THIS WAS THE FIRST EPIC SONG I EVER HEARD AND KICKSTARTED A GREEK MYTHOLOGY PHASE THAT MY FAMILY WILL NEVER FORGIVE JORGE FOR. apollos part was so short tho 😔 sigh…

28. just a man—I LIKE IT I JUST NEVER REMEMBER IT AGHHHHH I LOVE IT THO I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR

29. we’ll be fine—OMFGOMFGOMFG unfortunately it is right before….yeaaaa

30. love in paradise—OH EWEWEWEWEWEW i would like this a lot more if people didnt act like calypso deserved to feel happiness or joy or pleasure or even life? idn where this unbridled hatred for her comes from i dont feel this way about way worse characters BUT I WANT EVERY DEATH IN THE ILIAD DONE TO CALYPSO FIVE TIMES EACH CALYPSO WHEN I CATCH UR ASS—its not even about odysseus anymore ody get in the car mama has business to attend to WHEN IM NOT SORRY FOR LOVING U COMES OUT I WILL SHAKE MY HEAD IN DISAPPOINTMENT AND and gently and discreetly remove it from my epic playlist :3 i block everyone i see who talks positively about her genuinely she ruins my day. i know shes not real but still the concept of her makes me physically shake in anger sometimes in the middle of my perfectly normal day SHE SUCKS I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER SO FUCKING MUCH dont ask me why i dont know why but just just put me in a room with her and every weapon ever ever made that would be wish fulfillment for me

saga rating is ocean, thunder, cyclops, troy, underworld, circe, wisdom (and depending on how im not sorry for loving u goes justr know vengeance is going in eighth)

anyways uhm im a little manic this week but i hope i didnt make u hate me TOO much with this i am aware that my taste in everything is bad my favorite food is plain butterless angel hair noodles ans my favorite drink is water, my favorite color is green, my favorite animal is probably frogs bc most animals give me the heebie jeebies, and my favorite book is frankenstein thanks for being here i love u :3

[regryrth]

#drdtdevappreciation

Im so proud of how you all as a fandom handled this so well 💙 I know things are still pretty shaky in places and no one can rlly say this problem is “solved” or “forgiven” unless DRDT Dev specifically says so (which I dont mean to say they should or have to comment on anything, I know they mentioned theyre nervous and now uncomfortable interacting which I understand and accept responsibility for) But it really makes me happy to see how for the most part We’re turning something bad into appreciation. So for the fandom here. I appreciate all of you.

Even the ones who mightve gone too far. Just like me u had good or at least non malicious intent. Which turned out bad but there are still ppl who respectfully understand where youre coming from. Maybe its not wanted- But I appreciate and care for you too. I dont know how youre handling this all, But if its anything like how I did, I hope you understand nothing is ur fault just like how people have said it’s not entirely mine and not DRDT Devs. Even if it wasnt the best thing u couldve said in the moment. I understand u didnt want to harass anyone. It was a mistake made cause it’s human to act emotionaly have opinions and want to be understood with that. That can make ppl say and post things online that get deserved back-lash like I did. And the things u say can seriously hurt people like I did. I cant say how anyone else feels with everything thats happened But if Im right about everything so far. Its okay. To me at least which I guess isnt much. Even If u dont feel real remorse- You feel u were justified- But just dont want to be lectured in paregraphs over and over. Thats ok to me too. No one has to be completely justified in how they feel and it would be hyppocritical of me to say u do. And you shouldnt have to be looked at as any worse then the rest of us for stating your mind. Ur a great DRDT fan and person too and no one should claim any different for anyone. So while no one can throw around the word “forgive” for an incident that isnt ours to forgive- I “understand” u.

On a lighter note- The people who defended DRDT Dev without harassing anyone. U all acted so maturely in response to everything I honestly envy u a little. Does maturity and not making mistakes like these come one by one for you? When I make mistakes like this I feel like something with no real sense of right or wrong- Then I mess up and ppl come out to tell me where I went wrong and the “right” thing to do- And I piece together all the life lessons and “right” responses little by little until I feel safe with myself. Like a kintsugi piece. And like the cake in chapter 1! Did u have to do the same? I wonder if everyone experiences this. But thats not so relevant to appreciating you- So thank you for seeing every side. Even mine. Thank you for taking this whole situation and turning it into something good for everyone. We should talk about stuff like this more- While I still wish I hadnt posted that confession Im happy with whats been made of it- Even if the damage was still done. Because disrespecting and dehumanizing creators like DRDT Dev who put themselfs through so much to make wonderful content for us is never ok and to sweep it under the rug Like nothing ever happened is even worse. I know I requested the original post be deleted But Im ok with it being up on other blogs and posts because its important to hold stuff like this accountable and talk about it. And u guys did just that which is why Im so proud and thankful for u. This isnt a Thanksgiving dinner But u all deserve to be appreciated for doing good things too and supporting DRDT Dev.

And that brings me to who I appreciate the most- DRDT Dev. Everyone has said it so perfectly already I cant think of how to say it myself. But theyre so strong for going through all this. With their health. And going through and finding things like what I said. And other things none of us know about because they work to prioritize us over themself. And yet they still dont give up. They still keep going even with everything. They dont have to do this. But they do anyways and we should all appreciate them so much for that. Because sometimes we forget they and there team are human- I forgot that too. Doing things like my confession and taking their work for granted and other things is never ok. Im so happy we can do something to share our appreciation for DRDT, DRDT Dev and their team. Bad things and arguments and DRDT Dev being hurt by me had to happen first. I wish it didnt and that fandoms would give this much love and support to their creators without some incident happening first. But Im happy what happened let us appreciate the dev for there work now. And even if the DRDT Dev doesnt create side content anymore because of this- Its alright. They shouldnt have to push themselves past their boundaries or limits for us cause they already do so much. Even if we dont know much about them- We know enough to say theyre a wonderful person and we all love their content and them so much.

I know a lot of ppl apologized on my behalf and I suppose I wrote a longer apology to DRDT Dev and the fandom. But Ill say again as the anon themself- I am deeply sorry DRDT Dev for what I and others have said and done. I hope that you are well. And that youre able to see our appreciation through these posts.

I love you all 💙

[zarovich]

i think it's funny how someone will leave my life and i'll be like "oh god oh fuck how am i gonna live without them i want to die" but then like a week later i'm just chilling like "huh actually i'm happier now, glad they're gone lol"

[zai-doodles]

Ok ok last question then I’ll stop bothering you lol (but I eagerly look forward to anything you will say in the future about fairytail!)

I think I got your thoughts on Nalu, but what about other ships? You said Gajeel and Levy are your fav ship, could you tell us more why? What about Gray x Juvia? Do you have a least favorite ship?

(And don’t be sorry for rambling a lot/your posts being long! I really enjoy reading your thoughts!)

bestie i literally love u i never have the chance to post my ft hc stuff im THRIVING

aight so im going to make enemies with this post i can feel it in my bones gjkfdhgsfdkj

however i just want to say if u like these ships thats completely fine and if you read them diffrently than i do thats also dope

so lets start positive!! i LOVE gajevy sm its so perfect i just ljdghfkjd

no listen like the thing that gets me abt gajevy is how it elevates gajeel as a character SO MUCH and gives levy so much agency at the same time, like u cant tell me ft would have embraced gajeel the way they did if levy didnt CHOOSE to forgive gajeel in some capacity and like fuck imagine ur GAJEEL in this situation like bro wakes up everyday and this is just his life

gajeel lost metalica at a young age, and (i dont remember too much of canon but im pretty sure its implied he just kinda fucked around until phantom tropue picked him up which yikes) like this CHILD was on his own most of his formative years and then got picked up by a super shitty abusive group of ppl and he just LEARNED to blend in, like yea metalica made him kind of a punk but he was a KID so during those years he was alone he probably just closed himself off to survive and learned to prioritize himself over everybody else and to do that it takes a level of desensitizing urself to others pain

and like ok again im playing hard and fast with canon but i THINK its implied he like, had done a lot of bad shit with them or whatever right? like what he did to levy and fairy tail wasn't NEW, so when the events in canon happen and he ends up at fairy tail, in my mind that's the FIRST TIME he has to face how HIS ACTIONS DIRECTLY HURT SOMEONE

and not only thats but someone who OBJECTIVELY DIDN'T DESERVE IT

like ugh gajeel just,, having to learn to let himself care but also it fucking sucks bc it just makes it set in more and more what a bad person he is (he isnt but he thinks he is) THEN FUCKING LEVY PULLS UP AND JUST?? IS THE BEST???

she literally blows thro all his expectations of her bc at this point i think hes use to dealing with ppl being afraid of him bc that ssomething he understands and control, what he DOESNT understand is her being NICE to him and it makes him RESPECT her and its so out of no where that by the time the GMG roles around and gajeel has fully accepted the fact that he indeed has emotions like everyone else, ONLY TO HAVE TO FACE LEVY BEING SCARED OF HIM AGAIN

learning to put others needs above his own and being empathetic in his own fucked up way

ok enough positivity time to make ppl mad

gonna link my juvia is a lesbian post here bc it sums up a LOT of my feelings on gruvia but the tldr is that my personal hc is that juvia is a lesbian with a serious case of comp het from trying to fit in with other kids growing up and it literally was just never corrected until she got to fairy tail and actively started to form friendships

the main reason i dislike gruvia is that it paints gray as the one who needs to change in order to accept juvias feelings and not just cuz he needs to grow as a person and learn to allow himself to be vunrable.

like grays arc doesnt ONLY center around juvia but its a big part of it and juvias growth CENTERS around gray and we can talk about the the borderline misogynist idea of having a female character whos damn near whole identity is her feelings for a man where she never grows or learns meaningfully but instead just very slowly chills out more so from being sidelined than growth but i digress i just dont like them

last is jerza,, i just dont like em,, jellal is really boring in my opinion and he had a lot of potential but meh? his redemption is neat and his history with erza has potential but i feel like the point of erzas arc is about growth and moving on and while i think her and jellal can still be friends and have each others back she still has so much healing to do after tower of heaven

idk i dont see a lot wrong with jerza i just feel like its a lil bland and not my cup of tea

and yes queer platonic nalu is my life id die for them actually and i have more stuff about natsus abandonment issues and how they carry into his relationships with ppl but imma stop bc this post is long jgkfhgdjhfdjk

tldr: i love gajevy, actively dislike gruvia, very meh about jerza, love qpp nalu

[dreaminginvelaris]

I really don't understand how people can say Nesta didn't have to apologise

Like seriously????

And especially the thing about ic being shitty to Nesta like wtf?

Amren was good until she licked her ass and the moment she finally got tired of it she is hated

Mor tried and got slut shamed in return. How can anyone sympathize with people who show them the worst things they have suffered and finally overcame them

Azriel was always neutral never said anything to her

Rhys since the beginning, even though he didn't like her, never showed her any inclination of his dislike. In acomf, cassian says but Rhys kept his mouth shut, when nasty said she would slit his mate's throat he kept quite, when nasty slut shamed mor, he didn't call her out, when nesta changed her mind to attend the meeting he easily let her come and even gave her a nice proposal, when he said his pre war speech, he included both Elain and Nesta even though they didn't know them well, the entire acofas he had never showed any ill will for her except after she was brought to river house.

And especially the hate on feyre... goddddd!!!

Feyre should be patient, dude she left her alone for an entire year. The entire acowar she is trying to mend her relationship with Nesta and yet all she does is spit cruel words back at her. And the first time Feyre finally stood up for herself, not tolerating nesta's bull shit she is the bad characters. Like seriously???? In acofas she said "to say that to me: alright, but to say that to elain" like this line always hurts me. She has done everything to keep Nesta as luxuriously as possible and yet she is the bad person.

It was not the ic's duty to help Nesta even though feyre tried, elain tried, Cassian always pinned after her and u really can't expect mor to be all lovey dovey after she has seen how badly she treats her family.

Honestly, when they love Nesta for not taking anyone's bullshit, every other character would deserve the same. They really couldn't expect that ic would break their 5 centuries of friendship just because of her rude behaviour, even though in the end I think the only person who is completely loyal to Feyre is Mor.

first of all IM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO ANSWER FORGIVE ME 😭😭😭

okay so i agree, claiming nesta didn't owe them an apology was absolute bullshit. claiming they all owed nesta an apology is even more pathetic.

nesta was absolutely horrible to them all when she first met them and the "they're fae thats why she doesnt like them" excuse is bullcrap. i understand being apprehensive, especially when you’re mortal and they're powerful as fuck, some wariness is literally expected. but when those same ppl prove over and over again that they will protect you and your beloved sister, whats with the attitude then? they never laid a finger on her, never spit cruel words to her the way she did with them. they fed and clothed and sheltered her; and her sister. at this point, nesta darling was just being a grade-A bitch bc she likes being cruel.

literally so many act like it was the IC who started the cruelness with nesta when thats so fucking false? legit rhysand cassian and azriel were all pretty fucking neutral in the beginning with nesta, even after knowing what nesta did to feyre. rhysand legit thanked them for their "hospitality", when nesta made feyre feel bad bc of fucking food, rhysand calmly explains why feyre cringed at the food (a reasonable fucking explanation btw) when nesta insults feyre, rhysand stays quiet, letting feyre be the one to stand up for herself.

even with cassian, like that mf didnt open his mouth until nesta was insulting feyre for no reason, which is the reason why he called her out on her sadistic bullshit. sorry but if i was cassian i would have done the same. maybe add in some colorful words and a bitch slap to the face.

the inner circle had no obligation to help nesta, and they only tried bc of feyre. but why would they want to be around someone who constantly makes her dislike of them obvious? idcthat nesta fought in the war, like okay so did a thousand others. and they all got reasonable compensations. they weren’t afforded the same luxury of being given money so they can drink and fuck themselves to death. why should nesta be given that privilege? oh right bc of feyre, bc everything she has is thanks to feyre.

i agree with mor, i mean shes legit watching this pos insult and hurt cassian who she loves and protects, and feyre, her newfound sister, friend, ofc shes gonna start being more protective and a bitch back. like yes queen !! honestly the ppl who cant realize why mor was being a bitch to nesta have me concerned bc like would you not protect your friends if someone like nesta was around? if not i feel sorry for their friends but not totally surprised.

[bonetrousled]

mayhem undertale au opinion zone

anyway IGNORING all of the aus that are like. this is just sans under 5 layers of au and he’s god and thin and sexy and everyone loves him and his slender fragile frame . bc there’s no aus of those where it’s papyrus being cool and getting all of the attention (w/out either a. sans being present and being cooler and getting more fan attention than him or b. him just being turned into Longer Sans). NONE . anyway

when there’s an au that makes papyrus cool and scary and or powerful and people (the creator or the audience) woobifies him it makes me SO fucking angry. like horrortale 4 example VERY COOL. very frightening papyrus very threatening papyrus etc. guys in a very scary and stressful situation. if he recovers from it it will NOT be peaceful and quiet . YET all of the post ht designs i see for him give him like. frilly little sweaters and big glasses and braces and heslike ^-^ waheehee im gentle now LIKE.... u can have a character recover from trauma without turning him into a Softboy . idk if this is just my Came Out Of Trauma Angrier talking but it just . INFURIATES ME

AND ANOTHER THING. CLENCHING MY FISTS ok. does canon papyrus think everyone can be a good person? yes! however. hes not a dumbass and like. isnt gonna be like “ohhh well i forgive u teehee ^-^ bc you just aren’t a good person yet but we can get there!” papyrus can get ANGRY . like is that a thing ppl forgot abt? like yes hes very welcoming and wants to help others but like. he can still DO THAT while being pissed. i cant stand disbelief type aus where hes like “why..... would you do this to me... but i still have a shred of hope etc etc” HE WOULD KICK YOUR ASS. he would beat the FUCK out of you.

ESPECIALLY considering like. papyrus views himself as very very important to sans’s wellbeing. he doesnt think his brother is Pathetic by any means but he knows that he’s pretty much harmless. he doesn’t do anything to make anyone genuinely upset, everyone loves him, he gets his shit done (eventually) . and genuinely i think if u killed his brother he wouldn’t even have a cool speech or anything he would just start rending u to smithereens. bc harming someone who has ONE attack and ONE health w the INTENT to hurt is just so. UNFATHOMABLE

AND!!!! DEAR GOD AND. i already am not the biggest fan of classic underswap it makes me angry. but i cant STAND the fanbase sexyman “sans but conventionally attractive” swap papyrus i am SORRY. ok i cant stand him. and i am well aware i am throwing bricks through a glass house but like. when someone makes an au papyrus (or fuckin. anyone really) that’s so far removed from any semblance of vision to the original character. JUST MAKE YOUR OWN GUY!!! it’s ok to have a skeleton!!!! u don’t have to call him papyrus! bc i see all these animeheaded malnourished utau characters like “oh this is my sans” THATS NOT SANS. the man is 26 years old and smells like tomato paste thats NOT sans

this went on for a lot longer than i thought anyway. i need to revamp godpyrus bc i deserve to have an AU That’s Just Papyrus And He’s Cool and All Powerful bc everything is right when i do it god bless. if u read all of this i love you

[ringmyheart]

Can I request Vin Jin boyfriend headcanons and some fluff? (You don't have to force yourself)

(This and the other vin jin rq were merged!)

Honestly the way I see it, it doesn’t matter if you’re a very calm person or outgoing person. No matter what this relationship is gonna end up being considerably chaotic

He ropes you into everything he does. Doesn’t matter if u r a design student or an architecture student or if ur on the opposite side of the school from him, u r practically in his class. Dating him is like signing a contract sealing away ur own life bc he makes it a point to be ALWAYS w u

In class he doesn’t gaf if the teacher has ur seat on the other end of class, he is somehow finding a way to sit next to u against ur will or not. And when the teacher moves u two away from eachother INTENTIONALLY bc of this, he is threatening whoever happened to sit next to u to trade seats w him. He will go as far as to dress up as them to make it look like they’re them to be next to u and he’s so dramatic ab it.... being away from u felt like u were star crossed lovers whom the world was fiercely against

And if UR against this cuz ur tired of getting in trouble in class, or if you reject any of his advances, he’s gonna be really, really, really offended. He will at first sputter and be kinda shy and embarrassed about it, before he goes “fine! Have fun on your own without me, the greatest thing in your fucking life!”

He move seats back and will glare at you periodically every five minutes to pavlov dog you so that every five minutes every day, even when he’s not there, you feel the burning stare of vin jin

If you’re his s/o, he’ll buy you a matching pair of sunglasses so ur the freshest looking couple around Seoul (they’re hideous and thick but he thinks u look fly)

The glasses don’t have nearly as many layers as his does for himself so u can see, and u wonder how he managed to make them just as bulky and if he did it on purpose to sabotage u. Like “did u make my glasses purposefully ugly so no one else will want me?”

U have to dodge a punch after saying anything like that ab his fashion decisions LMAOAO

He’s rlly proud of u two matching. With the glasses and anything in general. He’ll make you wear a jacket matching his, or the same shoes and he will stop people in the hall and be like “wait. Notice anything cool ab us today?? Cooler than normal??”

And when they don’t respond he boasts “that’s right!! Me and my other half r matching. Look at us and weep, losers.” He thinks u two look so good....... if ur enthusiastic ab wearing matching things too he is elated u have to pray that tomorrow he won’t show up w another “if lost return to Vin Jin” “I’m Vin Jin” pair of jackets or anything of the like bc it happens SO OFTEN

And on the topic of sharing when it’s cold he likes to share jackets and blankets w u. Ur desks r moved by eachother by vin jin himself and u two share one blanket over u and shiver bc he just likes it, sharing w u plus he’s slightly warmer. And yes if you guys had indivizual blankets you would be warmer, but u guys have to struggle together he doesn’t care what anyone says (yes even ur protests ur sharing that one blanket wether he has to wrap it around u himself and tear up the one u brought on ur own or what”

He is so blind in love that he cannot tell when u guys suck at stuff. Like if ur in the wrong he doesnt care ur RIGHT and he’s taking that to the grave. He can belittle u and call u out but if someone else says ur in the wrong it’s on sight

Will die protecting ur name even when ur the one who was genuinely wrong

He forces u to make a beat for him to rap to. He loves rapping and wants to enjoy it w u, so ur forcefed YouTube videos of how to beatbox so u can be his bgm and eventually u probably just start to enjoy it to

And u always start a beat and he starts busting out rhymes and it’s SO BAD. It doesn’t matter if ur good at beatboxing if vin Jin is on the track w u it’s gonna sound terrible he brings the quality down immensely but u two just cannot tell

Like after a two session ur like “omg... that was so good. We should go pro?” “Fuck yea we should we’re better than those posers” “we could rlly make it in the industry fr” no u absolutely could not

During the school festival, u sang with him and it was SO bad. Half the crowd is gonna have 2 be hospitalized but u two had FUN up on the stage

Like I said, he has absolute faith in u. All u do is right. If ur driving a car for the first time, he is going to be ur little hype man doesn’t matter if u suck. U hit a curb and he went “YES babe!! Ur killing it cant wait till u hit the road bby” Ur not allowed to touch a car for the next two years now bc he kept cheering u on when u we’re doing CLEARLY wrong things

On a plane u r looking for the bathroom like pensively and u see a handle and look back and r like “is this it???” And vin jin thinking u r all righteous will go “yea babe go for it” and u open it and u depressurizate the cabin immediately

Now both on like 5 no fly lists

He loves to do things with u, like I mentioned earlier, and things he wouldn’t do alone he’ll do w u. Like drawing alone?? Boring. Drawing w Y/N??!!! Who knows what could happen..... so much fun could ensue. Maybe he will draw u cutely. Maybe he will draw u so ugly u will be forced to engage in a fight.

He likes to play just dance w u and compete for the “greats/all star!” Little titles above, and it becomes like a Friday night ritual for u two to turn just dance on and just go at it. But sometimes he’ll get too intense and suddenly he’s actually fighting for the chance to beat u. Will trip u so u lose on purpose

He makes u listen to him sing and rap to u. And u try to leave and he hugs tightly and is like LISTEN IFS FOR U, DONT BE UNGRATEFUL and now u have to listen

He makes u a mixtape of songs he made himself and they are all considerably worse than “remember the times we had”. It’s uploaded on SoundCloud and all the comments r hate and u listen to it a lot bc u know he loves u sm he made u a mixtape ya ur gonna play that but everyone else hates it w a passion

Like the comments r like:

Daniel: well.... it’s definitely a song 😅 I’m glad you love (y/n) so much!

Duke: he’s not making it out the hood 😐

Zach: never let this man in a studio AGAIN

Mary: this should’ve stayed in the CD

(Y/N): love it! 😍

Zoe: kill your producer 💀

Mira: ...

He’s overprotective too

If someone looks at u for more than a second he’ll go “what?? U think she is hot, huh? I’ll kick ur ass fucking perv.... cmon babe let’s go”

Will throw his arm around u and streer u the opposite way of any potentially good looking ppl to keep ur eyes on him

Oh Daniel is coming?? What a coincidence u and vin Jin suddenly have to turn the corner to the other way of ur classroom for some reason

Eli is near?!!! Oh no u just got milk spilt in ur eye!! Oh no now he has to wipe ur eyes and u two have to leave the cafeteria whatever will he do

It’s not that he doesn’t have faith in u, he doesn’t have faith in other men. Like he thinks they r all competition, and doesn’t doubt ur loyalty rather doubts how good he can b for u

WILL beat someone up for u. If someone smokes while ur around suddenly his fists r swinging at them cuz even if u smoke or vape urself no one else can get that stuff in ur lungs but YOU or HIM!!

If ur crossing the street and a car almost hits u, it’s the cars fault and he’s kicking the license plate and cursing it out for almost touching u “stupid fucking piece of metal”

Is the type of boyfriend to call u when he knows ur in an Uber and be like “babe u got ur gun w u right?? Oh don’t forget ur BOMB and ur MACHETE!! Yeah just left the house I killed some ppl nbd haha anyways HRU what’s ur Uber driver like” so the driver of ur car won’t even think ab kidnapping u. He has got ur back even when u do not want it

He doesn’t want u to see his eyes, so he’ll tell you to look away so he can take his glasses off and look at u in full color in all ur glory but he never tells u WHY he’s telling u to look away u think it’s a weird thing of his, or he’s insecure ab his face which is partially true but really he’s taking his glasses off and just looking at u. Adoringly.....

He hates PDA. He loves PDA. Do u see his dilemma

Like he loves PDA but doesn’t want anyone seeing him vulnerable even u.... so he’ll hold ur hand and be like “EWWW WHAT R U DOING GET YR HAND OFF MINE”

If u take the lead THATS best bc he can blame it on u and it’s ur fault he HAS to lock fingers w u cuz u did it to him first and he has an excuse to touch u and v like u started this im just sending u ur own energy back 😤

The type to be just like blind, overwhelmed in love. Always thinks ab u, always wants to be w u, worries ab u a lot and frets over u without showing it.... he hates it and loves it to death. Despises it but wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world

Eats lunch w u in the cafeteria and if u sit w someone else u r the ultimate traitor and he will trash talk u to hide his hurt to Mary the entire lunchtime. Kinda possessive.... wants u to also only think about him

WOULDNT EVER fight u for real. Play fights occur VERY often, like pillow fights, tripping ur foot when u say a joke insulting him, grabbing ur collar but he would sooner die than lay a finger on u

Verbal fights happen a lot and if he ever like LOSES it he may lash out and almost hit u and follow thru. I don’t think he’d be able to catch himself that quickly, and if he ever did he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Literally until the day dies he will take it to his grave

He may not sputter out apologieswill just look at u incredulously and then at his hands because what had he done? What did he just do? To you???????? (Y/n))))?????? His (y/n)??? Light of his life?

Will apologize probably over text or through a note or call, and if u don’t respond he is consumed by regret and tries to find u instantly like runs back to ur place

If u forgive him he feels bad still, because does he deserve it? And he might just isolate himself for a bit bc he can’t face u and if it left a scar he is dead inside. It kills him, literally

I could go on w this but I’ll probably save it for another separate pair of hcs later 😭

If u guys ever break up he will fight for u again and won’t stop till ur back together like flowers in ur locker every day, chocolate give during lunch, etc. He wont ever give up hope that he can win u over again and be w u again. He would keep trying, when he wakes up his first thought is ur name in a cold panic bc he can’t rest easy till ur his again and he will try and show off and poorly serenade u and trash his price and be corny and cheesy to get u back

Will set up a performance w the school to let him rap w a mic during lunch for u and he’s saying bars like “(read in bad rapping voice w inconsistent beat) (y/n), love of my life, uh, without you I’d die, uh. Please won’t you take me back? Yuh, without you ima have a heart attack. (Wha!). (Y/n), love of my life, yeah, without you I’m in strife, yup! Please be mine again, (babe), I can never rest till then.”

If the embarrassment doesn’t make u take him back so he’ll pls stop, and when he stands up on the lunch tables to do a little performance doesn’t do it either, then the odd sincerity of his voice and pain in his look (even tho while rapping he sticks out his lower lip in a weird pout) definitely, hopefully will

U make everything worth it !! Truly the light of his life

I hope these were what u wanted, I just had fun w them and wrote stuff that came off the top of my head when I thought of VJ!! ❤️

[depression-culture-is]

How can I overcome the guilt of being a bad communicator when im angry? I’ve been told I come off passive aggressive. im just in my head a lot and thinking of a respectful way to react. Other people view it as childish for not communicating my feelings instantly. Its hard for me to know what im feeling and why and i just feel like thats for me to figure out BEFORE I bring an issue to someone. For context i met this guy and I feel like we both moved too fast out of lust. He was going through alot (idk why i always attract ppl at this stage in their life) He lost a family member, and just got out of a relationship. He said the relationship was dead long before it was over but he was still working through things within himself because of it. He said he still felt emotionally available, but i’m realizing now when he still had a lot to work on he was removing the romance aspect of that.. which i didnt understand at the time and asked twice because I felt confused. So I let him know I dont want anything casual/FWB, and he said he didnt either. We’d hang out and he’d be like “we’re on a date” and it felt manipulative once I really started to think about it. Why use that language if we arent actually building on something? After we were intimate with eachother he said “i wouldnt fall in love with me right now. I just dont have the capacity to receive/give love romantically how i normally would” i didnt say anything then because he was being honest and vulnerable but it hurt. I felt manipulated. Probably manipulated myself into thinking something good could come from this. I dont have many experiences with good/honest men. Even though that is the bare minimum.. I wanted to hold on because i felt like i deserved to be loved, but also recognized he cant.. and i just feel like he had just as much responsibility to leave me alone knowing that. I’m also holding myself accountable because so did I. I left something at his house and went to go get it. I was so passive aggressive, told him nothing was wrong, tried to walk away from him after getting my stuff. I thought it would be best to just ghost him. I already caught feelings and it’d hurt too much if he chose to gaslight me to my face. I didnt want to break down in front of him. He called me once i got to my car and cursed at me.. i was so triggered i brought everything i was feeling to his attention in an accusatory way and i feel so much guilt because i feel like maybe if i wasnt so emotional about the situation he would’ve heard me out. I just felt like he could’ve been more sensitive and understanding to how i reacted especially because I previously explained i’ve been through emotionally/sexual abuse. He called me selfish, told me we’re done and its all my fault, and didn’t even acknowledge my explanation for reacting that way. I apologized a few days later once I cooled off but he ignored it, told me if i had more grace he’d have more empathy..and blocked me. Then he went on twitter ranting about “weird women” and it hurt. He knew i would see it. I dont think i’d ever rekindle anything with him. Im not sure if i dodged a bullet or let my anxiety get the best of me. I’m dealing with a lot of guilt for how it ended even though i tried to rectify things, and I think we both could’ve handled eachother better or maybe i am selfish..? Regardless how can I move on from the guilt of how it ended and him in general? Should I block him back?

Hi, dear. I can definitely see why you'd be upset! I honestly think you handled the situation well - you communicated your feelings with him and you apologised for your behaviour when you realised you were in the wrong, and from what I've heard, he had a lot to apologise for that he chose not to as well. It isn't your fault, so don't beat yourself up over it.

If blocking him helps you to move on, you do that. He's chosen not to forgive you, and that is completely fine as well, but it means that the chances of you having a decent relationship with him at this point are slim. There's nothing more you can do.

Sounds like he wouldn't have been the best of partners for you anyways, if I'm being honest. Regardless of your behaviour, calling you selfish for speaking up about the abuse you went through is never okay. Take your time and find someone who's going to treat you with respect at all times, even when things are hard (though that goes both ways).

That's not to say you aren't allowed to show that you're angry. It's more that you shouldn't take jabs at personal things (things they can't control) when you're upset.

When you feel yourself getting angry, particularly if you say hurtful things during those moments, take a time out, grab a drink of water and then address the issue when you're level headed again. I know this can be hard, but it truly is easier than making things worse because you've said something in the heat of the moment that you don't mean.

I don't have much advice other than that, sorry. I hope things get easier!

-Milo

[tapsoda]

stocean says something great about both jotaro and jolynes characters. jotaro being the type that takes all the weight onto his own shoulders. even if it means his kid will hate him he wants to make that sacrifice for her safety. when it doesn’t work and she gets used as bait to trap him he goes there anyway. it’s plain (and painful) to see in his actions that he fundamentally believes he is responsible for everything.

jolyne has every right to hate the man that abandoned her. he’s barely a father. but what gets me about her is that the moment jotaro (standless) tells her he’s always cared about her something inside her snaps. she is fundamentally loving and forgiving and there lies her strength. i’m not implying that he is Immediately Totally Forgiven, more talking about the fact that it would have been so easy to abandon him and just go but at that moment jolyne decides she will fight with everything she has to get him back. i think that trait of hers deserves so much more praise. also something something about jotaro jolyne being similar here that i can’t put into words

do i wish the story had been written better? did jotaro and jolyne deserve better writing + could they have benefitted from more continuity? absolutely. but jojo being the action battle manga or whatever that it is i kind of get why jolyne wasn’t put into the story earlier … but these aspects of jotaro’s character have always been here!!! they are only expanded upon! and they both are so interesting. this is more of a ramble than it is a cohesive ask but i could talk at length about them forever … what i mean to say here is i rly appreciate seeing those thoughts from u

OH MY GOD EXACTLY. no literally stocean is so impactful for its reliance on the past of the characters from parts ago, its interesting to see how the relationships play out through actions more than words. because thats just so fitting for two characters who are stubborn and closed off from each other, but coming from a place of this same mutual feeling of love and confliction. its not just "oh she loves her dad" or "oh he loves his daughter" they both have "BUT-" at the end of those statements

like you said, sooooooo true!!! i think jolyne hating the man who abandoned her is so justified and important to her character, it shaped her as a person, its inseparable to her strength while still being a weakness to her. LIKE GOD IDK HOW TO SAY THIS BUT YEAH WHEN HE TELLS HER HE ALWAYS CARED? the way she snaps up and you just SEE how her relationship changes with him after that. not immediate or completely forgiven or anything like that but you see that drive she had to get him to notice her (years of small crime yadda yadda) come back up and go "oh." like she cares, she cares a LOT about him and what he thinks!! she could have left him like he asked her to (OW) and gotten on the submarine but she stuck to saving him. ive seen ppl say b4 “ugh why he wasnt even in her life, why be there for him” and im like.... stunned by how bad the mischaracterizations people will have for jjba? because it only makes sense for jolyne to risk everything to get him back. i really do think her ability to love and keep going for others out of hope and forgiveness deserves SO much more praise and recognition too!!! its a character strength u dont see done very often especially done well... and its still a gradual thing too which is rlly neat to see her constantly have moments where ppl will bring up shes doing all this for jotaro and shell be shocked at herself for a second IDK I JUST FIND THAT SO REFRESHING... 

with continuity i get why she wasnt brought up sooner too because retconning and pt4 already had a lot going on i guess they didnt wanna have a subplot of conflicted jotaro with his child back in america, but i still wish it was talked about more pre-stoncean BUT THESE APSECTS ABOUT JOTARO HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE !!! i think thats why hes one of my favorites just because of the amount of time the series gave him to develop. like looking at sdc jotaro and stocean jotaro isnt as shocking of a change solely because he was given time in sdc and diu to be expanded upon for his new solemness and distance. i think its heart wrenching how he probably wants to be a dad, or just present in general in relationships but he knows hes just not meant to be. he doesnt doubt the fact that everything is his fault. “its always me.” LIKE!  i will never understand the arguement ppl use that hes selfish for real cuz his whole thing is just..... disappearing so no one has to deal with his “curse”, which doesnt sound selfish at all in context of the plot/mindset. hell in diu he literally almost dies every episode hes in and hes so willing to if itll help those around him. him and jolyne both have this sort of unspoken devotion to being dependable and reliable when it comes down to it!! UM TYSM FOR SENDING THIS YOURE SO GOOD AT PUTTING IT INTO WORDS IDK WHAT TO SAY OTHER THAN I AGREE W U SOOO MUCH. and that i appreciate you caring for what i had to say about it !!! its soooo important to me so this made me smile kjfkvj 

[fridgeful-o-help]

thank you if you can answer my questions, hopefully all 5 parts went through, and sorry that it ended up being kind of long and rambly. i really appreciate the way you answer people and thought you'd be able to provide some good insight which is why i wanted to hear your opinions if that's okay. thanks so much again, i really do appreciate any advice, and i hope you're doing well and having a good day or night. take care for now!

HI NONNIE! I GOT ALL YOUR ASKS AND ILL DO MY BEST TO AWNSER EVERYTHING I CAN. I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE HELPFUL, AND IM GLAD YOU THINK IM GOOD AT IT.

I HOPE THIS HELPS BUT IM VERY LONG-WINDED TODAY APPERENTLY

NOW, TO BEGIN. TYPICALLY WHEN ARGUING FOR NEOPRONOUNS AGAINST THE ARGUMENT YOU HAVE BEEN PRESENTED YOU HAVE TO GO FOR MORE... WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS BETWEEN ASKING PEOPLE TO CALL YOU A SLUR OR WITH "BLMSELF" IS THAT THOSE THINGS CAUSE ACTUAL HARM TO OTHER PEOPLE. THERES ALSO THAT THERE ISNT ANYTHING WRONG WITH PIZZASELF, IT JUST SORT OF? SOUNDS SILLY? ITS NOT HURTING ANYONE, AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A LITTLE SILLY IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE. A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HATE NOUNSELF ARE GOING OFF THE BASE REACTION THAT ITS SILLY/DUMB SO ID KEEP THAT IN MIND. (FYI IF YOU GO BY PIZZASELF YOURE AWESOME. YOU DONT DESERVE ANY FLACK YOU GET FOR DOING SO AND KEEP BEING YOU BECAUSE YOURE COOL! 8}) BUT YES I AGREE, MOST IF NOT ALL PEOPLE WITH THAT ARGUMENT DO NOT USE NEOPRONOUNS THEMSELVES.

PLEASE REMEMBER THOUGH THAT IF IT WAS UNINETIONAL WHEN YOU INVALIDATE SOMEONE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND MISTAKE, AND YOU WILL MOST LIKELY BE FORGIVEN. WE ALL DO AT SOME POINT OR ANOTHER AND I PROMISE IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON.

COMING FROM THAT, THERE IS A VERY SIZABLE CHUNK OF NOUNSELF USERS WHO ARE LEGITAMATE AT LEAST THE LEAST, FROM MY PERSONAL OBSERVATION. A PATTERN I THINK IVE NOTICED IN (A PORTION OF) THE PEOPLE WHO I KNOW 100% ARE SINCERE IS USUALLY PEOPLE WILL SELECT NOUN PRONOUNS BASED ON HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT THEMSELVES? FOR THEM ITS DONE AS PART OF GENDER PERFORMANCE TO INVOKE A CERTAIN FEELING, LIKE SOMEONE WHO FEELS VERY CUTESY MIGHT GO FOR BUN/BUNS FOR EXAMPLE. ITS NOT ALWAYS THAT WAY THOUGH.

SORRY I GOT OFF TRACK. ANYWAYS, NOUNSELF TROLLS ARE SOMEWHAT DIFFICULT TO SPOT DUE TO IT BEING WELL. HARD TO MAKE A "PARODY" OF, REALLY. WITH NON-NOUNSELF ID JUST CHECK PRONOUNCIATIONS AND SUCH BEFORE PROCEEDING. FOR THE MOST PART THOUGH I WOULD TRY TO HANDLE YOUR FEARS AS BEST AS POSSIBLE? INSTANCES OF TROLLING LIKE THAT BLOW UP BECAUSE THEY ARE SCARY AND GENERATE CLICKS, THAT DOESNT MEAN THAT THEYRE COMMON NOR UNIVERSAL. IF IT CONTINUES TO BOTHER YOU ID SUGGEST DOING SOMETHING I LEARNED IN THERAPY CALLED A BELIEF EXPERIMENT (DOING A SMALLER, ACHIVABLE ACTION TO ATTEMPT TO PROVE OR DISPROVE WORRIED/ANXIOUS THOUGHTS. ID USUALLY DO THIS WITH A SUPPORTIVE FRIEND TO HAVE YOUR BACK OR SOMETHING OF THAT SORT)

GENERALLY IF YOU THINK YOUR FRIENDS WOULD FIND IT ODD BUT WOULD STILL BE RELITIVELY ACCEPTING ID TREAT IT LIKE A NORMAL COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET WITH A FEW EXTRA STEPS. ID USUALLY SUGGEST TELLING YOUR FRIENDS PERSONALLY BEFORE UPDATING YOUR SOCIALS, BUT THATS UP TO YOU. ID ALSO GO WITH ANY TRANS FRIENDS YOU HAVE FIRST IF THATS AN OPTION, BECAUSE USUALLY ITS EASIER TO EXPLAIN HOW YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH NEOS IN THAT SITUATION. IT MIGHT SUCK BUT ID SUGGEST THAT WHEN/IF THEY ARE MILDLY INSENSITIVE JUST EXPLAIN THAT IT BOTHERED YOU AND WHY, HOPEFULLY THEYLL GET IT.

TYPICALLY MY RESPONSE TO SOMEONE BEING RUDE TO ME IS NOT... IDEAL SO I DONT KNOW HOW TO ADVISE YOU ON THAT, BUT GENERALLY YOU DONT HAVE TO DEFEND THE FACT YOU EXIST IF YOURE NOT UP FOR IT. USE THE BLOCK BUTTON AS LIBERALLY AS YOU LIKE, ITS A DEFENCE IN ITS OWN RIGHT.

THATS ALL, I THINK. YOUR MESSAGES COPY-PASTED WILL BE UNDER THE CUT, FORGIVE ME IF I MISSED SOMETHING, I DO HAVE A DISORDER THAT MAKES IT SLIGHTLY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO READ. FEEL FREE TO SUBMIT ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS, COMMENTS ETC AND DO TELL ME IF I DID MISS SOMETHING YOU STILL NEED HELP WITH .

MESSAGES AS FOLLOWS, WITH SEPERATIONS REMOVED:

so i've been using neopronouns for less than a week and every day since i started, i've been getting negative reactions. the negativity comes from strangers, so it doesn't hurt me as personally as if friends were doing this (i actually haven't said anything to my friends about my neopronouns yet). anyhow, when people try to argue with me, i tell them that i don't see why they can't be respectful and call someone whatever makes them feel happy and comfortable. one reaction i got was "just because something makes someone happy doesn't make it valid" and compared it to letting someone drink poison if drinking poison is what makes them happy. then i get a lot of people who bring up stuff like "but what if the pronouns that make me feel valid contain a slur? / what if i use pizzaself? / what if i only go by BLMself pronouns? you'd be invalidating me!!!" and they try to use my own words against me since i've previously said "even if you don't understand it you should call people by what makes them feel valid." i know these people don't even use neopronouns to begin with but tbh it still does start to make me feel guilty? i'm nd and i can't always pick up social cues or sarcasm so i would feel horrible if i did unwillingly invalidate someone. but i'm also kind of paranoid because so much trolling has been going around recently like one video where someone tricked another person into using neopronouns that sounded like a slur when said out loud, recorded it, and put it online. i don't always know who is being sincere and who wants to trick people, particularly with nounself pronouns, like the pizzaself thing. finally, i wanted to go back to the topic of not telling my friends about my neopronouns yet. i feel like if i just start to put my neopronouns on profiles that my friends can view, it'll seem odd to them that i never said anything before, but i also don't know how to bring up in a personal conversation "i found out about some neopronouns i like and i've started using them" without it being awkward. i don't think my friends would make fun of me but i do think they'd find neopronouns 'weird' in general and maybe act kind of insensitive without meaning to, like not getting it. how would you react to the rude ppl? i know i could ignore them but i feel like they take that as them 'winning' or me running out of ways to defend my point of view. and how would you have your friends find out about about you wanting to use neopronouns?

[tsukidrama]

i’m glad you could have your weekend off! i hope you had some rest :)

i’m really happy we agree so much on yelena! but also thank you for making me discover her more it’s been really interesting to talk about her!

same for zeke, season 4 managed to make me forget about what he did to erwin but it still happened and i never thought i’d cry for a man until he died. i was very sad but also kinda mad for feeling so devastated about a man lmao.

i’ve seen more lara tybur works lately, even a nsfw alphabet and honestly she DESERVES, if you ever write for her again i’ll gladly read it!!

i (re)read some of your annie fics today and she really is one of the best aot characters, i can’t believe i didn’t care about her at first. i thought she was so cold (partly because of the dub version of my country) and before knowing more about her and how marley works i really was mad at her for killing all these people but context is very important in her story. anyways i read your post rumbling headcanons and it’s so SOFT, annie really deserves it after everything she had to go through, especially since she thought she was gonna die at a really young age, she can fully enjoy her life now. i am also a big supporter of lesbian annie, i don’t like her with men and annie x armin makes me uncomfortable for some reason, people ship it because armin kept visiting her when she was in her crystal but it was him being obsessed while she couldn’t do anything and i don’t really see how it’s supposed to be romantic? so yeah i really don’t like that ship but if i have to be honest i don’t really like either of armin, eren or mikasa. all the side characters are so great and so interesting that the main ones can seem boring at times.

i’ve also read the great hair massacre of 857 and please it was so sweet and funny!! the whole conversation was already funny but then “There you go saying that gay shit again…” actually made me laugh out loud askljldfijdf. the dialogue in this fic was really great, it seemed so natural!! i really love seeing that side of annie, thank you for blessing us with that content! she was so in character too, the reference to her relationship with her dad was subtle but very welcomed, her tearing up after saying “i left” made my heart clench, her relationship with her father is very complex and you wrote it well!

after reading i got curious and wanted to see annie with actual bangs (apart from that flashback we got in season 4) and i couldn’t find anything, i really wish i could draw rn. oh and both the headcanons and the fic being in canon made me so happy too!! i know i’ve already said it but it’s so rare reading aot stuff in canon i really cherish canon fics when i find them! (that being said, I absolutely love your AUs, i guess i’m just a big fan of your writing!!)

annie kinda feels underrated sometimes which is weird because she seems present in a lot of fics and fanart but she doesn’t seem to have that many fans? especially compared to some others. she 100% deserves more love.

-j

you're so sweet 🥺 thank you. i've been a bit sick lately (chronic illness so nothing out of the ordinary unfortunately) so i'm definitely getting lots of rest!

of course! like i said it is ALWAYS my pleasure to spread the love for yelena. i told you i could make you like her 👀 i didn't even mean to get into her as much as i have but she's so interesting and hot. i'm glad you leaded up liking her!

I WILL NEVER FORGET AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE! i cry about Erwin on a regular basis. i've always felt really strongly about his character and i feel his loss all the time in the final arcs of the story, every time hanji and levi are without him 💔 if there's any man worth making an exception for it's Erwin, that man chugs his respect women juice.

oh fuck yeah! good, it definitely is what she deserves. now i'm gonna go scour the lara tybur tag...

pppffft i was in the opposite situation - i loved her before i knew shit about her character and then felt like a traitor when i pieced together who she was and what she had done.... not sure when you got into snk but i watched season 1 the year it came out and kept up with it so i've really felt every cliffhanger in my bones. i started reading the manga after season 2 aired. my point is that i loved her through Annie all along with her flaws from the beginning, and i've never thought she was "good" per se but it's also obvious that she's affected by what she's done. i always figured there was more to her story than we knew; her reactions, the way she cries over the dead, and the fact that she gives up on her mission that's literally her purpose in life all indicate remorse beyond just regretting being caught. even way back in the day i was like: SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE DOING THIS!! IM TELLING YOU! my brother would constantly be telling me to shut up slksajdfkj but in the end i was right! i just didn't realize that pretty much ALL of the warriors didn't want to be doing what they did, or how complex it all was. she really does deserve a peaceful life being able to do what she wants. i used to cry about her having to die at age 24 a lot, so the ending taking away the titan curse is just about the only part of the ending i vibe with.

yep, same. i absolutely despise that ship-that-must-not-be-named, in my opinion it's a disgrace for both of their characters, but especially hers. it's really creepy, i agree. i don't blame Annie, being in a crystal with only annoying ass people talking to you for 4 years just left her a little confused. armin is gay anyway, i literally just block ppl who post about the ship. i love Mikasa but the other two i agree are pretty crap characters overall.

heheh well there are the manga caps from 139 but it'll be a while before we have her bangs animated. i'm actually so proud of how the great hair massacre turned out, it was such a sweet and goofy story that shows the lighter part of Annie's personality. eee thank you as always and i'm especially happy you mentioned the dialogue! and how it felt natural, that's such a reassuring compliment ❤ and for the bit about her dad. i feel like i'm the only person who likes him alkjdfalksjd i know he's an asshole and he messed up bad but he does really care about Annie and he's important to her therefore her is important to me. can u tell that i have parents-in-law?

i agree! a lot of people seem to either have the attitude of "o yea she's pretty cool i guess" or the full on EVIL MALICIOUS BITCH!! SHE KILLED LEVI SQUAD REMEMBER THE YOYO! i will eternally point out the hypocrisy - Reiner and Zeke do just as bad and worse as she does but the fandom doesn't hate on them. whatever, i'm happy in my bubble over here!

[rizahawkais]

I LOVED season 1 and 2 of the crown but found season 3 quite dull and difficult to get through. I'm enjoying season 4 (still havent finished bc I watch with my family and we're rarely all together) but I think that the earlier seasons were a lot better in my opinion

hi! i completely agree w you!

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY! I replied to this the day you sent it but my laptop crashed and I lost everything I wrote so I put off till now!

All in all, the writing for the first two seasons were WAY better. My ranking is s2 > s1 > s4 >>>>> s3. In my opinion, season three was kind of terrible.

hahaha this is so so long.

In the first two seasons each episode’s mini story for the day was actually INTERESTING. Like, I loved where one episode was about the Mountbatten name and then the next was about the Great Smog! But, there was always an overarching plot and it always added up in the end. S1, S2 and S4 all had an overarching plot that worked! S1 was balancing family and the crown. S2 was balancing prime ministers and her husband. S4 was the downfall of Margaret Thatcher and Charles/Diana. S3 LITERALLY HAD NO PLOT! It was just a bunch of stories put together. The finale for season 3 was about the end of Margaret’s marriage! And although, it is an important event in the family’s history the fact that it was the finale episode????

Anyways, Season 3 genuinely just sucks. Season 4 is REALLY good. Yet, it still doesn’t leave as much of an affect on me like the earlier seasons. AND LIKE I KNOW BECAUSE I’VE REWATCHED THE FIRST THREE SEASONS SO MANY TIMES. I’ve only seen the fourth once because I’m too busy and it’s also too early for me to rewatch it. So, maybe my opinion of season 4 will change!

Now, because I am extra 😈😈 and crazy I will talk about every single episode IN ORDER. hehehehehehe. feel free to hate me

SEASON ONE

101 Wolferton Splash - 10/10 this episodes just sets everything up! we see how happy the marriage is and how loving king george is and we also see the FORSHADOWING!! we see lilibet and phillip making their life thinking they had time when we know they don’t and it’s just :( AN AMAZING PILOT EPISODE WITH AMAZING QUOTES!

102 Hyde Park Corner - 1000/10 this episode needs no explanation. the suspense and DRAMA right before lilibet finds out about her dad ALWAYS gets me!!

103 Windsor - 10/10 I hated this episode the first time I watched it! I didn’t understand the importance of her uncle and I didn’t understand the complexity behind the episode. I was 14 when I saw this episode for the first time! So, mind you I was quite ignorant. but, david basically represents the audience in the show for those who hate the monarchy and call them out on their hypocrisy. BUT DAVID IS A TERRIBLE PERSON! FUCK DAVID! i understand hating the monarchy and for him i know it was personal but the way he talks about his family in the letters UGHUGHGUHGUHGUHGUH this man is evil! there’s also the other story in the episode about the mountbatten name which is so brilliant!

104 Act of God - 15/10 this episode was boring on first watch but I WAS FOURTEEN! this episode took a break from the monarchy and concentrated on a british national horrific event THAT WAS IMPORTANT and i liked how it connected throughout the episode and all that and the CINEMATOGRAPHY OMGGGGG! anyways, something that pisses me off about this episode is that the crown kind of has the same kind of audience as euphoria! they only care about a hot actor or iconic character or the aesthetics AND THAT MAKES ME ANGRY! bc those are the ppl who call this episode the boring fog episode and the latest episode of euphoria a waste of time! they don’t understand the importance of what their watching. an event that killed hundreds by something that could have been avoided bc of science and for euphoria an ongoing pandemic of an ugly world and its affect on ppl not wanting to go on! IM SORRY THIS TURNED INTO A RANT but this episode is important in reminding audiences that disasters can be avoided but also once they happen anything can happen THIS WAS A SAD EPISODE OKAY AND I LOVED VENETIA SCOTT!

105 Smoke and Mirrors - 100/10 THE CORONATION EPISODE! Phillip tries to bring it to the common public and all the fighting between them just makes the coronation even more impactful when we watch it!

106 Gelignite - 8/10 I DESPISED MARGARET IN THE FIRST SEASON i saw her as a spoiled brat who wanted to marry her dad’s assistant! AND ALSO HOW DID SHE NOT REALIZE THERE WAS DEFINITE GROOMING INVOLVED! this episode is generally very good but margaret just pisses me off a lot! however, her not being able to marry peter boresend shouldn’t have been because of his divorcee status but bc he simply was a predator in anyone’s clear eyes IM SORRY IF YOU DISAGREE BUT SHE MET HIM SO YOUNG NO WAY THERE WAS NO GROOMING good episode but pissed off at margaret’s lack of critical thinking besides but I WANT HIMMMMM LIKE I WANT EVERYTHING

107 Scientia Potentia Est - 11/10 hated this when i first watched it! but now one of my favorites! lilibet feels dumb and needs a tutor! prime minister and wannabe prime minister have health problems and keep it from her! lilibet finds out by accident and they all get yelled at! I LOVE WHEN SHE YELLS AT MEN!

108 Pride & Joy - 10/10 this episode is just adds on to the overarching plot of the season: balancing the crown and family. margaret says disrespectful things to ppl who don’t deserve it in place of lilibet while she’s on the commonwealth tour fighting with her husband! then lilibet scorns margaret and we see an ugly papa loved me more argument! absolutely brilliant!

109 Assassins - 1000/10 hated it the first time but now I LOVE THIS EPISODE! it’s the painting and porchey episode and churchill leaving episode. It’s so so so good! i honestly have no words to describe the brilliance of this episode besides the acting done by almost the entire main cast CLAIRE WOW! MATT WOW! STEPHEN (THE PAINTER) WOW! JOHN WOW! HARRIET WOW! when we see the painting getting burned coincided w the downing st dinner GETS ME EVERYTIME I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH!

110 Gloriana - 100/10 the climactic fight between the crown and family! which will lilibet choose?? and the foreshadowing to suez MWAH!

SEASON TWO

201 Misadventure - 100/10 LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS EPISODE the cutesy lilibet and phillip until it all goes down WOW! and the suez stuff i love it all

202 A Company of Men - 100/10 this is where i think mike’s wife starts snooping or it’s the next episode BUT THIS IS WHERE SOMETHING BEGINS FOR SURE first of all it foreshadows the episode later in the season about philip’s childhood AND MATT’S ACTING!! it’s too good for words!

203 Lisbon - 100/10 i like it when they fight lol that’s the only way i know how to describe why i love it LILIBET WAS EXCITED TO SEE HIM AND SO WAS HE but then mike ruined it by being a disgraceful and dishonest man RUINING EVERYTHING

204 Beryl - 10/10 i start to like margaret bc i feel bad for her! she’s suffering she’s sad that her lil predator boyfriend is no longer w her but look who it is MATTHEW GOODE! he not suspicious at all but the writers are like here take 20 minutes of perfect chemistry between the actors!

205 Marionettes - 100/10 I LOVE THIS EPISODE basically someone who loves the monarchy insults the monarchy and lilibet actually goes to listen to them! w resistance of course but she still took everything he said to fix the monarchy !

206 Vergangenheit - 1000/10 one of my favorites! i didn’t know about david’s nazi past so when i watched this episode for the first time i was completely baffled! another episode where she yells at a man!!!! i’m always annoyed in this episode tho by all the talk from the priest about forgiveness bc im like why would u want to forgive david for being a nazi?? but i think it was intentional by the writers to show the importance of understanding forgiveness and the grounds for it! THIS EPISODE IS JUST PERFECT IM ANNOYED BC I DON’T WANT TO FORGIVE HIM

207 Matrimonium - 9/10 this episode is amazing BEFORE you’ve seen season three bc you root for margaret and tony! but, also throughout the episode there’s all that tony and family and his gf and bf stuff that you think is going to lead somewhere but doesn’t??? like what was the point of introducing his mother and his relationships if it was going nowhere and not even mentioned in season 3??? LIKE WHAT WAS THE POINT WHAT WAS THE REASON? but, also there’s lilibet and phillip fluff in this episode I LOVE

208 Dear Mrs. Kennedy - 10/10 this episode is fun as an american bc i think jackie kennedy and jfk are so idolized here in america it was so interesting to see this other pov! BUT I ALSO REALLY LOVED LILIBET DANCING W NKRUMAH! I THOUGHT IT WAS SO CUTE AND THE MARTIN CHARTERIS STUFF LEADING UP TO IT WAS SO FUNNY!

209 Paterfamilias - 100000/10 no words. IT WAS SO SMART TO PARALLEL PHILIP AND CHARLES this has a lower rating than the previous episode which makes no sense but only goes to prove the idolization of jackie and jfk

210 Mystery Man - 100/10 EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST EPISODE IS ADDRESSED IN THIS EPISODE THE SEASON COMES FULL CIRCLE JUST LIKE SEASON ONE DID AND SEASON THREE DID NOT DO THAT AND SEASON FOUR DID IT TOO BUT NO WHERE AS GREATLY

every single episode of seasons two has a 9+ rating from me!

SEASON THREE (worst season)

301 Olding - 5/10 weak starter but good for introducing olivia as lilibet and harold wilson and departing churchill BUT THAT’S IT! like the whole spy thing just went bleh LIKE IT HAD POTENTIAL but it needed early seasons writing not third season writing techniques TOBIAS DID A GREAT JOB THO IN THIS EPISODE HE WAS A GREAT RECAST FOR PHILIP

302 Margaretology - 6/10 okay. just okay. margaret kind of bratty but you actually feel bad for her then she gets bratty again and then you feel bad for her again and the scenarios in the episode just didn’t feel real like the whole lyndon b johnson was so jealous of jfk that he was rude to the queen so they sent margaret JUST DIDN’T MAKE SENSE like i know this show is fictional but the fiction tends to be believable until i research the episode afterwards BUT FOR THIS it just didn’t make sense

303 Aberfan - 1000/10 ONE OF THE GOOD EPISODES OF THE SEASON! those first fifteenish minutes??? TEARS! i never knew about aberfan until this episode and seeing this episode made me cry!

304 Bubbikins - 10000/10 THIS EPISODE IS TECHNICALLY NOT AS GOOD AS THE ABERFAN EPISODE BUT THIS IS A PERSONAL PREFERENCE we meet anne and alice in this episode AND I LOVE BOTH OF THEM (erinsdoherty is my current url!) this episode is so sad and sweet at the same time and loving bc i’m a sucker for philip’s back story!

305 Coup - 8/10 this had potential I FEEL LIKE IF THEY WROTE THIS EPISODE DIFFERENTLY LIKE HOW THEY WROTE ONE OF THE SUEZ EPISODE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER the fact that it all went to nothing and nothing basically happened WHAT WAS THE POINT

306 Tywysog Cymru - 1000/10 this episode made me like charles! what a horrendous statement! but, like i thought his relationship w his tutor was so heartwarming and he actually seemed to care and all that and it just all in all MADE ME HAPPY like this episode isn’t sad it’s a happy episode until the last scene w lilibet BUT YEA they gave us this one good episode until we hate him which i appreciate makes the story telling better

307 Moondust - -100/10 hate this episode LIKE GENUINELY HATE IT HATE HATE HATE and tbh im generally very very nice w my opinions ANYWAYS I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE BUT IT WAS SO STUPID LIKE THE ASTRONAUTS BEING ASSHOLES WAS STUPID PHILIP BEING AN ASSHOLE TO THE PRIESTS WAS STUPID LIKE PHILIP IS AN ASSHOLE BUT IT’S BEHIND PEOPLE’S BACKS AND THEN THEY KILLED ALICE OFF SCREEN I HATE THIS EPISODE

308 Dangling Man - -1000/10 HATE THIS ONE TOO this episode convinced me that the writers for the first two seasons to this season has changed all of a sudden we forget that david was basically a nazi and the charles we met two episodes ago sees him as exactly like this uncle who he swore he would be nothing like to the people of wales??? LIKE WHO WROTE THIS THEY WERE DOING CRACK WHILE WRITING THIS EPISODE and i felt NOTHING during the lilibet and david goodbye WHACK EPISODE TERRIBLE JUST BAD TERRIBLE

309 Imbroglio - 5/10 episode started off good but then just went a lil too crazy by making it seem like a whole secret spy mission going behind lilibet’s back

310 Cri de Cour - 4/10 bad just bad HBC GOOD ACTRESS AMAZING ACTRESS given bad material like NONE OF THIS FEELS CONNECTED THIS STORY IS ALL RANDOM AND WE HAD A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT MARGARET AND TONY AND WE DON’T EVEN MENTION ANY OF THE CRAZY STUFF FROM THE LAST SEASON BUT WE CONCENTRATE ON MARGARET BEING A SUGAR MAMA MAKES SENSE YALL

once again i hate season three

SEASON FOUR

401 Gold Stick- 8/10 written weirdly but had GOOD SCENES such as meeting thatcher and diana! BUT THE SCENE STEALER WAS OBVIOUSLY MOUNTBATTEN’S DEATH AND PHILIP TELLING CHARLES THAT HE BECAME DICKIE’S SON INSTEAD OF HIM SAD STUFF so like the death was sad and dramatic and I FELT BAD but like i shouldn’t bc im south asian and mountbatten did bad stuff to us BUT IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE RIPPLE WE FELT

402 The Balmoral Test - 9/10 funny episode but needed early seasons’ writing

403 Fairytale - 9/10 good episode but needed early seasons’ writing BUT ALSO THAT SCENE BETWEEN CAMILA AND DIANA MWAH CHEF’S KISS THEY BOTH DESERVE ALL THE AWARDS but needed early seasons’ writing

404 Favourites - 7/10 this episode is good but frustrating bc u finally realize how terrible of a mother lilibet is BUT THE ANDREW STUFF WAS GOOD I AM GLAD THEY PUT THAT IN! i liked seeing thatcher’s non-existent relationship w her daughter NEEDED EARLY SEASONS’ WRITING

405 Fagan - 10/10 GOOD EPISODE I LIKE HOW WE WERE EMERSED IN FAGAN’S LIFE AND I LOVE THE ACTOR FOR FAGAN TOO AND I LIKE HOW IT WAS CONNECTED TO THATCHER AND FUELED THE OVERARCHING PLOT OF THE STORY!

406 Terra Nullius - 100/10 GOOD EPISODE CLOSEST TO EARLY SEASONS WRITING THAT’S WHAT MADE IT GOOD seeing them not get along and then get along and then not get along again through a series of montages made the episode brilliant!

407 The Hereditary Principle - 6/10 this episode. how do i explain? the material for this episode was absolutely perfect for the writers of the early seasons! POOR EXECUTION

408 48:1 - 100/10 i like the political episodes more than the family episodes SO THIS EPISODE IS SO BRILLIANT BC OF THE BACK AND FORTH AND I GOT TO SEE CLAIRE!!

409 Avalanche - 7/10 early season writers would have shown the arguing before the avalanche and diana’s reaction JUST SAYING

410 War - 9/10 THIS EPISODE HAD THE YELLING AT EACH OTHER SCENE THAT WAS SO GOOD BUT ANYWAYS THE PROBLEM W THIS EPISODE WAS THAT IT DRAGGED I FEEL LIKE THIS EPISODE AND THE ONE BEFORE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ONE EPISODE TOGETHER

ALAS, what i would like to say is that i feel that season 4 shouldn’t have been so diana centric! it was diana from the beginning of the season to the end! not, that i don’t love the whole diana story but it was dragged and i think she should have been introduced around the third/fourth episode of this season the same way tony was in season two! camilla should have arrived at the beginning of season 4 so that the intensity between camilla, charles and diana was more believable! if we season three wasn’t so spread out they could have had more brilliant episode.

OK HAHA I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS VERY LONG RANT ABOUT THE CROWN PLZ FORGIVE ME! AND IF U READ ALL THIS WOW! IDK WHAT TO SAY I THINK I TALK TOO MUCH HONESTLY :( anyways thank you for talking to me :)

[chasethesun18]

this is just a long ass meta about why i love clarke griffin that no one probably cares to read. but it’s hiatus and we’re literally all stuck at home soooooo.....

when i first started watching the 100 i didn’t truly fall in love with any character. i was too busy crying through literally every episode and trying to deal with my own emotions because holy shit this show is dark. especially s1-2. s3-6 seem less dark and depressing in my opinion; but that could be because i was in a dark and depressing space when i watched s1 and 2 last year and in a better space watching 3-6 this year. but anyway. i went into the show expecting (from tumblr) to be a bellamy blake stan and to like clarke, but not like her a lot of the time. this wouldn’t surprise me because its actually how i am with most ships. i almost always love the guy more than the girl and i’ve never really found a female character that i felt super bonded to. 

boy was i wrong.

i went into s3 really apathetic about characters themselves (but rooting for bellarke) and i came out of s3 the biggest clarke stan ever. i was prepared to be annoyed with her due to things id seen on tumblr but in my mind she never did anything wrong (side note: bellamy, on the other hand reallyyyyy tested my patience. and has periodically continued to do so. clarke can still do no wrong). 

but even coming out of s3 i couldn’t really pinpoint why i started to love her so much. and why i felt so deeply connected to her all of a sudden. it still wasnt until 4x08 (when she injects herself with night blood) that i realized what it was while i was messaging amalia with all my thoughts as i watched. ( i scrolled way back to find this @amazalina ) i said:

“abbys just gonna let her daughter bear it okAY 

abby why

clarke is the mom in this relationship 

my strong baby can someone be STRONG FOR HER PLEASE”

and then it hit me. the reason i connected with clarke so strongly, over any character in any show i’ve ever watched (which is a lot) is because the most real and frustrating part of my life is the same as clarke’s. she has to be strong for everyone else, and no one is strong for her. she needs a clarke in her life. someone to be for her who she is for everyone else. she gives and gives and gives and no one ever gives back. it took me a long time to realize in my own life that i did this exact same thing. the person who actually comes the closest for me is my mom but a lot of times im the mom in the relationship. and she needs me so much that i very rarely fully let her be strong for me. 

i need someone in my life to love and care for me the way i love and care for others, but no one ever has. i am always the strong one, the rational one, the shoulder to cry on, the fall back, the voice of reason, the steady hand, the constant friend. and no one ever realizes i need the same. they think i have my life so together but i dont. not even close. 

its true that im not living in a post apocalyptic world with 99 kids to take care of. i didnt have to make decisions about who lived or died. but when clarke took the needle away from abby, a grown ass adult and her mother, who wasnt strong enough to deal with the consequences of ending someones life, and did it herself? i felt that. when abby tortured clarke under the chips influence and woke up and broke down and clarke comforted her? i felt that. when no one apologized for any of the horrible shit they’d done to clarke but clarke continued to not only forgive them anyway but to apologize herself to mend the relationship? gosh i felt that. every time clarke had to be the strong one, and the brave one, and comfort everyone else around her who was hurting even when she was dying on the inside and no one noticed, i felt it to my core. and it made me love her more than any fictional character ive ever come across. it made me get so unbelievably mad at other characters (cough raven ) and ppl on tumblr who were hating on her. it made me have a slight shipper meltdown after bellamy chipped madi and didnt apologize but she apologized for reacting, because did i really want that kind of relationship for clarke? (the jurys still out on that one tbh im still pissed about it. she had every right to leave him there and i dont think he deserved the apology oops)

so yeah, i love bellarke i really do. and most shows i watch i pretty much watch just for my ship (i cant help it im sorry) and i do think that bellamy is the best person for her and he has had his moments of being that person for clarke. he has helped her carry the burdens (or tried, when she wouldn’t let him) and has loved her well. so i want them to be together. but the main reason i love bellamy blake is because clarke griffin does. and that is not the feelings i expected to have from this show.

i want bellarke to be canon. but more than anything i want clarke griffin to be happy. i want her to get some apologies. i want her to find a nice home with madi and live in peace. i want her to find that dog again. maybe dye her hair a new color. take a nap. find some color pencils for her drawings. i want her to find love. but more than that i want her to learn to love herself. to know that even if she never finds someone (romantically or platonically) that gives as much as she does, that its ok. if no one ever looks out for her the way she looks out for others, its ok. because she can be that person for herself. it’d be nice for clarke to have a clarke in her life, but she already has one- herself. i want her to learn to have the same love and care and devotion and softness and kindness and gentleness and respect that she has for others for herself. and i want all of these things for her, because i want them for myself.

and that is why i love clarke griffin.

[orriculum]

i dont mean to keep on rambling about my feelings and my cats man but i can’t do it on facebook and its not something i can bother people with. 

i really miss darcy. i should have done better by him. i cant think of him without thinking of those last few moments when the vet fucked up the order of the syringes when we finally put him so sleep and he lunged off the table, seeming suddenly so alive and crying and then crumpling and telling him how sorry i was and wishing i had put it off even a couple more days. he deserved so much better. i wish i hadnt been so stupid to think that getting it over with after months of watching him wither away would make it any easier. 

when darcy was gone, he took all the love in the world with him. i didnt feel like i could ever love anything else after him.

when we got kitten lydia she was just so small and it didnt feel like i could hold her without worrying she’d fall through the hole darcy left in my chest. but she didn’t, she made things feel better for a while, until a couple months in her legs gave out and she couldnt climb or walk anywhere, and she was just so tired all the time. and when that same awful vet misdiagnosed her and it seemed like there was just nothing we could do.

and she does so much of what darcy used to do. especially when she tucks herself under my chin to sleep almost every night the way he did. somehow its not forgiveness and its not haunting. 

it really felt like it was going to be everything we had with darcy all over again. the way we had to sneak medication into his food, or pair it with something tasty to get him to take it. but she likes cream cheese over butter it seems. even after the correct diagnosis, the surgery, she was so small and skinny and fragile it seemed so much like how darcy was from the cancer, how carefully he had to be touched. i can’t stop fussing over her and checking for any broken bones or ripped stitches. if i try to ignore even one meow from her the guilt from avoiding darcy his last week here makes me fuss over her even more.

but im really glad she’s starting to be healthy. i didnt know if i could deal with her being suddenly sick the rest of her life after how things were with darcy, but i certainly couldnt have dealt with another death. it was just so unthinkable when the vet said most ppl put cats with her condition down instead of opting for surgery.

anyway facebook is fucking awful for that stupid “memories” function posting old videos of darcy for me to see when i havent even been able to look at the pictures i have of him in my phone since it happened without crying