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andromerot · 1 year ago

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my pedro almodóvar marathon. thoughts, feelings, tier list

or, i spent like 50 hours on this so i better get to post about it

well, i'd be lying if i said i set out to do this with any clear goals in mind. i sort of just wanted to watch movies. this year i set out to watch through a couple of directors entire works, but ran into complications or got bored. so anyway when i finished my term i decided id try a third time with my best friend pedro. i had watched five of his films already but was mostly unaware of other things he had made. on the 22nd of november i started with matador, then went on and in exactly a month i had watched all of his feature films yayyy

so this is how i ranked them on letterboxd and this is a tier list. this doesnt really sum up my thoughts though so im leaving a little review for each below the cut, in the order i watched them in this month hope someone cares :) thank you

matador (1986): ohhhhhh my god. absolutely unexpected how insane this movie made me. many people say its not very good, i dont think that's true. transgressive, erotic, camp, necrosexual, implicit faggot tension, beautiful costuming, insanely talented cast of so many characters sick in the head. watching this one first really hyped me up to keep at it and to close out the month i rewatched it the other day and though it was less surprising than the first time i watched it its maybe my favorite now :) it has structural flaws i suppose. but i love it

¿que he hecho yo para merecer esto? (1984): pretty funny! not bad at all, i remember enjoying it as i watched it, it just wasnt very memorable. i enjoy every performance by carmen maura, chus was stellar as always and forqué was really sweet in this one too, i liked it. i literally forgot half of the plot though. did anyone remember the telepathic child or the faked hitler diaries? i didnt until i looked it up.

la ley del deseo (1987) (rewatched): showed this one to my friend, god its iconic. some of my favorite chiques almodovar. so fun to watch and so silly even though its not quite a comedy. the fact that antonio is just called antonio in this one makes me unwarrantedly happy. MAURA THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE!! very hot all around. i think i liked it better this time than the other two i had watched it.

pepi, luci, bom y otras chicas del montón (1980): everyone talks about how sexually transgressive 80s almodovar is and i was like yeah whatever until i watched this one. straight up trilogy of trash shit. so beautiful. i wish every movie was like this. no one likes it but i adored it. erecciones generales will stay in my mind forever and i loved the musical numbers. and the piss, of course.

entre tinieblas (1983): also somewhat forgettable, though i watched it while pretty worried about something else so maybe i didnt give it the attention it deserved. its not a bad time but i wouldn't rewatch it. based on the premise you think it'd be better.

la flor de mi secreto (1995) (rewatched): OH GOD. until last month my favorite almodóvar, its been outdone but it still destroys me. its terribly underrated. i dont even know what i can say about it... marisa paredes is stunning at doing desperation. the boots, the scene at the protest, the initial meeting with ángel, the poem in the car, that moment in the hall. it's beautiful and breathtaking. lesbian film history, i promise.

todo sobre mi madre (1999): like, its good, but i dont get what people see in it that makes it so acclaimed. again paredes is great in this, but penélope is somewhat tame compared to what she does later, and this is the point in the list where i have to admit cecilia roth is not very good to me and all my compatriots start throwing rocks at me. listen i just wish she'd stop doing that stupid accent its so fucking bad cecilia sincerate seguro sos de villa crespo. anyway its fine if a bit weird about trans women, but hes always a hit or miss w that

átame (1989): took a big break between the last one and this one for some reason. anyway, pretty funny, except it really drags in the middle. shouldnt have been that long, but victoria abril always slays and the last scene is wonderful.

tacones lejanos (1991): WOAHHHHH! really cool i liked it. i love a mother daughter thing especially this mother and this daughter. really fun doppelganger story and i love how it was told, i found it both melodramatic and subtle? miguel bosé makes a really pretty girl, this will inform my every subsequent rewatch of suspiria. big fan of his gender. dance number fucked obvs

kika (1993) (rewatch): ok, i know why people don't like this one, but its so silly... cmon. it sillay. once again incredible abril performance, the costuming my god.... her character makes the whole movie i wish i was her. lesbian rossy de palma was wonderful and every forqué performance is a delight. pedro getting hitchcockian with it to slightly trick the audience is a staple of his 90s filmography, fucks.

carne trémula (1997): the title made me think it would be better! there was barely any carne. i didn't really see the point of most of it tbh, though based on how the movie starts and ends there might be some spanish historical context that im missing that makes it more interesting. strangely reminiscing of the buenos aires affair to me, but puig is better. yeah it was just pretty boring.

laberinto de pasiones (1982): YAYYYYYY i had some trouble torrenting so i watched it really out of order this but its SO FUN. obviously in the same vein as pepi luci bom but i liked it slightly more just for how unnecessarily elaborate it was. the one major role i dont mind roth being in and im a big fan of antonios gay terrorist with an ultradeveloped sense of smell character and arias is really into his very silly character too – he works well in secreto as well, i wish hed been on more almodovares, i should finally watch camila. liné was hilarious too. the problematic incest storyline was really funny to me sorryyyyy and i got a lot of gender out of the musical performances. hey can you believe that beautiful fag covered in blood is a franquista now. i can

hable con ella (2002): ehhhhhhh. some people really hate this one for the couple scenes i found most interesting, others love it for reasons i cant parse. its got parts that caught my attention a lot, but mostly it was eerie in an unenjoyable and uninteresting way and the backstories dragged on too long, especially grandinetti's. like i just don't care sorry. THE scene is quite disturbing though. i appreciated he decided to show rape in a more subtle light for once, it made it a lot more cruel and a lot more interesting.

la mala educación (2004) (rewatch): sighhhh. i really wish i liked this one. its got so many elements i am into – the colours are obviously spectacular, the unreliable multiple narrations and the disassembled timelines are always enjoyable to me, the attempt at social commentary is appreciated, some scenes are stunning (fictional ignacios head split in half is unforgettable) but quite honestly the characterization is so bad it bores me. i liked it more the first time i watched it just because of how confused i was, once i wasnt it lost its magic. maybe the worst in what is considered the "somewhat autobiographical movies about directors" trilogy (i think there's four of them but we'll discuss that later) probably because the character of enrique is so bland. i know its more but it feels that you only spend like five minutes with him. ángel/juan's motivations for anything are so puzzling, ignacio is just a caricature at this point and probably the character with the most depth is berenguer, which is ironic, i guess

volver (2006): WAHHH. its hard to talk about it honestly. it was so unexpectedly beautiful. the acting is so on point – penélope cruz and that beautiful carmen maura comeback are self evident, but blanca portillo is also stellar. it was fascinating from minute one and i couldnt keep my eyes off it. its written with such care and love. i suppose the plot itself is nothing out of this world, but the way it is handled is explosive. i really adored it.

los abrazos rotos (2009): the fourth bastard on the self insert series! cmon, its way more about himself than la mala educación. anyway, its good at some points, not very in others. the strong point is obviously the relationship between mateo, judit and diego, their refusal to be tied as a family and their desire to be tied by love is reaaaally interesting. the scene at the sea... but penélope and her millionaire and her millionaires son do nothing interesting at any point, im afraid to say. sad! surprisingly not very memorable, even though i didnt dislike it as i watched it. like i remember i liked some things but if a couple weeks later i dont remember what they were its probably the movies fault

la piel que habito (2011): AUGHHH OK. fuck. THIS ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD. it wasnt it was really mid. when it started i was like oh is pedro trying out his hand at cronenberg and i was really excited because im SURE he can do cronenberg better than cronenberg but he didnt. it was worse. how are you giving your women less agency than that guy??? honestly probably the first ever film of his where this is a noticeable problem, though penélope in the last one should give us a hint. ughh it should have been good. im mad about that. no desire to question gender or power and the unchronological storytelling does nothing for me. BAD! if anything i recognized its sexual power for if banderas character was a woman i would be throwing up and convulsing on the floor. i hope vicente and his lesbian coworker had a beautiful romance i guess. i cant believe some people call this one one of the most controversial of his work....

los amantes pasajeros (2013): hm well everyone was like THIS is the bad one and i was like i bet you guys are just being mean but no yeah this is the bad one. its not funny and it drags on so long...i can usually defend the rape scenes in his movies, even in kika or hable con ella, but this one just sucks so bad. i was prepared to defend this movie but i cant. as soon as the movie started i was trying to guess where all the threads would connect, how all the characters would be linked and they mostly... weren't? also the reference to the gazpacho scene in mujeres made me groan out loud.

julieta (2016): well i dont really know what this was supposed to be....it feels on the surface it could have been really good but something about it felt so emotionless. it was an odd experience, watching it, because i expected to be moved by so many scenes and i never was. i dont know what the point of it was.

dolor y gloria (2019): ok yeah this one was sweet! didn't blow my mind or anything but it was very cleverly made...a really more beautiful way to do the childhood-as-movie thing than in mala educación, i really enjoyed it. nostalgia bores me sometimes but i feel hes not being annoying about it. long live old man yaoi (and finally an argentinian actor i DONT hate...) and that beautiful beautiful cave and that mind gripping apartment bringing in the characteristic insane set design but in a new way...i had a good time

madres paralelas (2021): oh this could have been so good! it wasnt but honestly i dont remember exactly why i disliked it. i suppose i didnt connect to the characters and that it is a story that requires that to engage you – their motivations were really out of place and unlike other movies that bothered me. really interesting premise, didnt work out. im sad about it. could have been cool.

yeah so that's it i only realized while writing this that i forgot to rewatch mujeres but obvs that ones very good, proper classic, quote it every time i eat gazpacho and such. also extraña forma de vida is a snore i refuse to watch it again. i hope this works as a rec list for someone. and i am ready to be stoned by my wrong opinions by the rest of you

#lol ive had this on my drafts for like a week. i forgor

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pollstuck · 2 years ago

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TT: I'm working on the bathroom. TT: But we are running low on Build Grist. EB: oh man who cares about the bathroom, now there's a meteor heading for my house!!! TT: I see. TT: Do you suppose it has anything to do with the game? EB: i don't know, maybe! what do i do! TT: I think it's very likely. TT: The walkthroughs vaguely suggest an impending threat before they end. TT: The already poorly constructed sentences become even more curt and ambiguous. TT: As if written hastily and with a sense of alarm. TT: Actually, their dedication to updating the walkthrough under such circumstances is admirable. EB: wow, FASCINATING. EB: ?????? TT: If the meteor is a game construct, I think the only thing to do is to proceed, and try to solve the dilemma on the game's terms. TT: Try using the lathe. TT: It says you can use the card on it, but isn't more specific than that. EB: ok i'll do that. TT: Really, it is a labor to read this drivel. TT: If I read any more my brain will need to be spoon-fed from a jar. TT: While it blows spit bubbles in a highchair. TT: I think I will write my own walkthrough. TT: That is, after we make sure you don't die.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:34 --

TG: i heard you got the box TG: i hope you appreciate my heroic fatherly perseverance in getting it to you TG: in my rough and tumble dirty wifebeaterly sort of way TG: also i hope you appreciate how many no-talent douches had their mitts on that bunny before you TG: its like a grubby baton in some huge douchebag marathon TG: hey where are you EB: oh man, the bunny was awesome, but i don't have time to talk, i think i'm playing sburb and it's kind of a nightmare. EB: flighty is breaking everything in my house. TG: dude i told you to steer clear of that game TG: and for that matter you should probably wash your hands of flighty broads and their snarky horseshit altogether EB: you and I both know we love her snarky horseshit EB: but that doesn't matter right now! EB: there's a meteor coming, and i'm not even joking about that!!! EB: it's like a big asteroid or comet or something. EB: in the sky. EB: heading right for my house!!!!!!!! TG: oh man TG: how big is it EB: i dunno. EB: big, i guess. EB: i gotta go! EB: we'll talk later if i am still alive and the earth isn't blown up. TG: like the size of texas TG: or just rhode island TG: theyre always throwing around these geographical comparisons to give us a sense of scale like it really means anything to us TG: but its like it doesnt matter its always just like: WOW THATS PRETTY FUCKING BIG TG: like mr president theres a meteor coming sir. oh yeah, how big is it? its the size of texas sir TG: OH SHIT TG: or, how big is it? its the size of new york city sir TG: OH SHIT TG: sir im afraid the comet is the size of your moms dick TG: OH SNAP TG: sir are you familiar with jupiter TG: you mean like the planet? TG: yeah TG: well its that big sir TG: hmm that sounds pretty big TG: i have a question TG: is it jupiter? TG: yes sir, earth is literally under seige by planet fucking jupiter TG: OH SHIT TG: anyway later

#homestuck #pollstuck #john egbert #rose lalonde #dave strider #poll

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star-girl69 · 11 months ago

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AHHHH YOURE SO ADORABLE.

Damnnn fake gagging??? 😭😭I didn't know I was that baddddd. What can a girl do when she's soooo down bad.

How is your maths working out sooooo neat. I have the worst handwriting ever and then my thought process is wack so like everything always ends up in different areas yk.

Chemistry calculations are the worst and it doesn't help that I also despise chem with a passion but bio calculations make me actually wanna drop school and pursue other career options(🤭).

Mrs.B sounds like a B fr fr like why sooo mean. Don't stress about your writing too much. As always I believe in youuuu❤️

- ❤️

(Nooooo don't beee sadddd I'm sorry honey. I think our time difference is hugee. I am also training and working a lot so I sleep a lot and my schedule is haywire but trust, you always on my mind❤️❤️)

🤭🤭🤭🤭

(also sorry AGAIN i read this in the middle of my 2 hour class and then spent a lot of time smiling at the floor instead of paying attention but now i’m home and can sit down and properly reply it’s like we’re exchanging letters LMAO)

NO LIKE i mean i’m having fun! i like it if you couldn’t tell LMAOO i’m giggling and kicking my feet! i think you are doing exactly what a girl should do when she is down bad 🤭🤭 she just hates to see a real bitch (me) win (be happy) (im mostly kidding we love each other fr)

omg i thank god everyday that i have at least somewhat decent handwriting but real on the thought process being wack… especially w math like i go all over the place that’s probs why it’s my worst subject

boooooooo you just don’t understand the magic of chemistry it’s amazing!!!!! like omg nomenclature??? i loved that unit sm!!!! the first test of the year i literally got a 100/100 likkkeeee also i LOVE nuclear chem but anyways.

wait hold on i already took bio but i don’t remember CALCULATIONS??? but i think it might be diff considering my bio course is called living environment where i live

OK NO. NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!! MRS B IS THE SWEETEST MOST NICEST PROFOUND AMAZING PERSON IN THE WORLD LIKE I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE CHANGES MY LIFE ON THE DAILY BUT SOMETIMES SHES A LITTLE BLUNT

today she gave me and my bff honey chocolate hearts and once she gave us bread (there’s a picture somewhere of me and my friend walking through the hall with slices of bread in our mouths) and also she brought in a crockpot of spaghetti and force fed me I DONT LIKE MARINARA SAUCE i was like “no thank you!” and she said “ADDIE WHAT!! NO NO YOU EAT THE PASTA”

haha… i’ll try not to stress but i think we all know how that will work out…

(i headcanon england for you btw or like some sort of european country around there bc like…. “mathS” and “apologiSe” and also the whole cm thing. wait what are you training for like a marathon or is that just supposed to mean like you just go to the gym? anyways i hope you don’t overwork yourself ☹️ ☹️also i think YOU should tell ME about YOUR day 😍)

(well ig i feel a little bit better if i’m always on your mind 🤭🤭🤭) (you’re always on mine tho 💋)

#addie answers stuff!!!#❤️ anon

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in-my-feels-probably · 2 years ago

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can i get option one with stranger things, please? i really like steve harrington (romantically). i like him so much because he seems like a comforting and patient person, who would accept you for who you are.

physical description:

i'm 5'5 with medium brown skin and dark brown eyes. i wear a lot of simple clothes- sweatpants and sweatshirts.

fav things: reading, writing, sports, rainy days, and watching movies and tv.

tysm, congrats on 600 followers!

hi! thank you for participating :)

steve doesn’t have that many close friends. he did in high school, but they really only knew him on a surface level. assuming you met him after his whole “king steve” phase, he’d be a different person compared to how he was a few years before. he really is an accepting person. i think he’d value anyone who gave him that same respect, and he’d appreciate that someone cared enough to not only get to know him, but to stick around long enough to actually get close. until robin, he didn’t really have anyone his own age to hang out with. and now they’re best friends, and they talk to each other about everything. so when you came around, he’d be really excited to have another person like that in his life. robin would probably never hear the end of how much he loves his girl and how great she is. i think robin would like you too, but she’d get a little sick of steve bringing you up so often. it’s cute, but annoying. she’d tell him that, and he would keep talking about you anyways.

i think one of his biggest love languages is quality time. it didn’t matter what the two of you would do together, he just wanted to be with you. he’d sit with you while you read, or help you with anything you were doing. he’s got that big house all to himself. his parents are gone so often, he’d pretty much be living on his own. sure, he’s had people over before, and im sure some of the kids show up every once in a while. he does have a pool, he’s probably gotta deal with a bunch of teenagers coming over to use it. but they’d leave by night time, and he’d be alone again.

that’s where you’d come in. you’d roll up to his house in sweats, letting yourself in. he’d be used to you showing up unannounced by now. he’d probably even have given you a key. you’d plop down on his couch and hear him come running from his room to see you.

he’d have a stack of movies in his arms, shoving them into yours while he went and changed. it was as if he’d been waiting for you to show up, knowing you were coming.

you’d look at him confused, calling into the hallway. “how’d you know i was coming?”

“its supposed to rain today!” he’d call back, shuffling around in his room a bit before coming back.

he’d wait for you to sort through the stack of movies, letting you take your time picking what to watch. you’d offer to let him pick this time, but he’d just shake his head. he was content to watch your favorite movie for the millionth time, or sit on the couch for half an hour softly smiling at you as you narrowed your choices down to just a few films. he’d probably even marathon a series with you, regardless of if he cared about it or not.

once you finally put a movie on and got comfortable, he’d settle into your side, barely even looking at the screen. he’d let out a content sigh, fiddling with a loose thread on the blanket.

“are you even watching?” you’d ask, glancing down at him.

he’d just hum, nodding. “of course. can’t you tell?”

“uh huh,” you’d say, wrapping an arm around him. “whatever you say.”

#600 followers celebration #600 followers #followers celebration #ships #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x you

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randomthingsicameupwith · 2 years ago

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yandere c!ConnorEatsPants

(i just dont see enough yandere fanfics of him soo... and i dont watch dsmp anymore so its probably gonna be ooc im so sorry and english isnt my first language!)

DISCLAIMER: YANDERES AND STALKERS ARE BAD AND I DO NOT CONDONE THEM!! AND HEAVILY INSPIRED BY @/love-like-thorns THEIR REALLY GOOD

TW: KIDNAPPING, HEAD SLAMMING, YANDERE STUFF, SUPERIORITY COMPLEX

Honestly, Connor just seemed like a guy who’s insecure and jokes around by putting himself above others, well, even you don't know if he's joking or not and that's nothing compared to some people. So you decided to befriend him! Which was the worst mistake of your entire life.. You talked almost regularly with him, exploring places and just going on fun adventures with each other. Yes, it can get a little dull at times. You kept hanging out with the same person over and over, but you didn't mind.

Connor just thought that he and you were destined to be partners. I mean, can you blame him? Your looks and personality, and the way you acted towards him, were perfect; you're meant for him. He's the main character, and you're the love interest! It was all perfect! I mean, he already has feelings for you, and now he just needs to be patient and you just need to realize your love interest and get those feelings back.

However, he did notice something between you and the others. You talked to them like you talked to him! Defending them, hanging out with them, complimenting them—that's everything you're supposed to do for only him, not them. He winced at the thought of you just doing whatever you did with him with other people. Can't people just see that you are his? And can't you just see that you are his? I mean, he had every single aspect you liked about them, but a thousand times better! Humor? Looks? Personality? He has all of that; he was the only good choice. Not like you’d even have choices other than him by what he would do to them.

He would purposely steal and break things and blame it all on you. something valuable they just talked to you about? Stolen. a gift they gave you? Broken. And if that wasn’t enough, he would be mean to everyone, publicly making fun of their insecurities and vulnerable spots, justifying it by saying it was a joke, and forcing you to agree. even if you don't.

And everything would fall into place; everyone would avoid you, except Connor, of course. leaving your focus only on him. And as expected, you confess your feelings to him.

You two would go on dates almost every day and talk to each other 24/7, to the point where Connor even asked you to move in with him, which you politely declined.

Until one day, that is. You wanted to break up with him. He was just being too pushy in general; he basically has no concept of privacy; one time while you were changing your clothes, he just went in without knocking; you even found a box filled with stuff you thought you had lost and polaroids of you that you didn't even know he had taken; and he was just being too possessive with you. You were done with him. So for your last date, you decided to go flower picking with him.

You went in early to the place to better prepare yourself, and he eventually showed up. You two sat in the grass, just sitting and picking the flowers; he occasionally made jokes, and you did too. You noticed he only picked your favorite, which was sweet of him, but that wasn’t going to make you stay. You finally decided to tell him. "Um, Connor?" There was no going back, you thought. You felt like you just ran a marathon with how fast your heart was beating and how much you sweated. "Yeah?"

"I wanna break up," you said. You stood up, holding the flowers as tightly as possible, using them as some sort of stress ball. The silence in the air was deafening. All the birds that were chirping just suddenly stopped; it's like they knew how awkward and sad it was and just stopped.

For what seemed like an eternity, he stood up too. "No," he said. You never heard his words so firm before; they scared you. "I-Connor, you can't just say n-," he cut you off. Grabbing your wrists tightly, hurting you. "We're not breaking up. You should know that. We're never going to break up," he said, his gaze fixed on you. This was the most scared you've ever been in your whole life. His glare and voice stabbed you, not to mention how much his grip hurt you. "C-Connor, it hurts," you said softly. I was hoping he’d let go. which he didn't.

You tried running away, but you couldn't; his grip was making you stay. He yanked on your wrists, causing you to trip. You fell on all fours on the grass, and your hand hit a rock hard. It hurt, but it didn't matter; you needed to run. Your eyes were pricking with tears. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice not as firm as before, reaching his hand out. Your wrist and hand hurt as if someone dropped a brick on them. "Fuck you!" you shouted at him.

You looked behind you and quickly ran with all of your energy. running and running through the once peaceful place, until you tripped again. Hitting a stupid rock Your eyes finally gave up, and tears started streaming down your face. Your knees hurt badly, but you knew you needed to run.

He looked down at you, panting with that glare again. You tried to run again, your body tingling with desperation. sobbing like nothing before. You tried to prop yourself up, saying, "Stay still, bitch," as he head-slammed you into the grass as hard as he could. Knocking you out.

Panic and hysteria were flowing through his body the second he slammed his head into you. What did he just do? His body was basically on autopilot until this point; what was he supposed to do with you knocked out? You already wanted to break up with him; doing this would probably make you hate him. He looked at your body, wondering what he should do. Until an amazing thought occurred to him. Well, it wasn’t really amazing, but it was something. It could work. He could just make you unwillingly live with him, and then Stockholm syndrome kicks in and does its thing. He offered you to live with him; he’s somewhat prepared.

He carries you all the way back to his house. hoping no one noticed him. Once he finally went back inside and plopped you down on his bed, he felt so many emotions at once. Mostly denial. Because, fuck, he did it. He followed through on it. He takes a minute to mentally scold and prepare himself. He takes off all your clothes except your shirt and underwear. He quickly grabbed whatever duct tape he could find to tie you up to his bed. I'm hoping you don’t wake up soon. He's a little disappointed in you. If you just hadn't broken up with him, this wouldn’t have happened. But look at you now.

#yandere connoreatspants #yandere connoreatspants x reader

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hom3stuck-d41ly · 3 months ago

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John: Answer chums.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:34 --

TG: i heard you got the box TG: i hope you appreciate my heroic fatherly perseverance in getting it to you TG: in my rough and tumble dirty wifebeaterly sort of way TG: also i hope you appreciate how many no-talent douches had their mitts on that bunny before you TG: its like a grubby baton in some huge douchebag marathon TG: hey where are you EB: oh man, the bunny was awesome, but i don't have time to talk, i'm playing sburb and it's kind of a nightmare. EB: TT is breaking everything in my house. TG: dude i told you to steer clear of that game TG: and for that matter you should probably wash your hands of flighty broads and their snarky horseshit altogether EB: and now there's a meteor coming, and i'm not even joking about that!!! EB: it's like a big asteroid or comet or something. EB: in the sky. EB: heading right for my house!!!!!!!! TG: oh man TG: how big is it EB: i dunno. EB: big, i guess. EB: i gotta go! EB: we'll talk later if i am still alive and the earth isn't blown up. TG: like the size of texas TG: or just rhode island TG: theyre always throwing around these geographical comparisons to give us a sense of scale like it really means anything to us TG: but its like it doesnt matter its always just like: WOW THATS PRETTY FUCKING BIG TG: like mr president theres a meteor coming sir. oh yeah, how big is it? its the size of texas sir TG: OH SHIT TG: or, how big is it? its the size of new york city sir TG: OH SHIT TG: sir im afraid the comet is the size of your moms dick TG: OH SNAP TG: sir are you familiar with jupiter TG: you mean like the planet? TG: yeah TG: well its that big sir TG: hmm that sounds pretty big TG: i have a question TG: is it jupiter? TG: yes sir, earth is literally under seige by planet fucking jupiter TG: OH SHIT TG: anyway later

> John: Use pre-punched card on totem lathe.

#homestuck #homestuck daily #0204

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oswednesday · 4 months ago

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the first dream was like, i was at a pool party Already pretty scary! and having a good time despite all that when the Cops show up and the whole thing is my middle brother had killed someone in a really extreme sort of way and i got to yell at my mom about all the times i begged for anyone to intervene and get him help with anything and now we're here instead i woke up like wugh, fed the cats sipped some water went to the bathroom then fell back asleep

the second one was i was like in a queerplatonic thing with one of the artists i watch vlogs of, i dont Think i feel anything for them in the Real but maybe i do? it might have been just someone selected to make this dream like Work? or maybe i think theyre cute but wasnt really thinking about it?? ah! handwave to be back on topic, i got a headkisses and Stuff and i was holding tight to the gift and they were all like youre only with me for the Stuff arnt you like teasing and i was like no of course not heres the reasons why <-but that kind of thing my one once really close ex-friend would do like oh youre a parasite (despite defending me publically when other people would say that!) then we got back to eat at their place and it was pizza which i have a complicated relationship so i was like okay got to eat fast but i could sense that despite the date thing being set up the way it was that i was overstaying my welcome their partner came in and started to talk to me and that was nice in the dream but the dream!artist was getting aggro about it in the way this ex-friend always wanted me over when her boyfriend was around but we were NEVER allowed to interact, like she was always like on me about what i wore and how i was sitting and things like that like ??? so i recognize that this dream i was processing those feelings in like a much cooler environment and maybe some Im Jealous Of This Person I Dont Know shaking out of my system

the third dream i was participating in like a cross country event (something i did in my tiny youth because i thought it meant we would travel and had no adult in my life to say otherwise or give a shit about what i was signing up for like i was in 1-3 grade age range is how much of not a shit was given about me level of neglect here) but i got lost and it was miserable hot and buggy and i built up the courage to ask a bunch of kids playing on the side walk if they could go get their parents for me who came out and i asked if they had any deet and they were like oohh youre doing the marathon and they got stuff out and a drink and the commotion brought both neighbors out and i got snacks too and everyone was like congratulations! you can do it! and so galvanized i was back at it and there were a lot of people i was avoiding in like a Gut Check sort of way who wanted to walk with me like thisll turn into a gorn if you do that! kind of warning

then the route cut through a school building that was like an amalgamation of all the schools i ever been to and i was hanging out with two girls who i think we could have been friends if i was the way i am now back when i was younger we were always like adjacent friends but like how much i was neglected along with my behaviors and desire to scrap barrels prevented us from being closer and we talked about that in the dream like ghost of christmas past but ghost of high school past sort of style i suppose gfgdfg

then i was at a setting i dream of sometimes its a little like a fusion space stage, theatre that was large and accommodating desire in my head, the nightmare tends to be not that i dont know my lines but there simply isnt enough time to, i cant find my booklet and i dont know when i go on and i know no one will assist me, but in this one that one ex-friend i mentioned was uncharacteristically helpful with that and we were hanging out with a girl i knew from a different school reading like horoscope stuff and being like #homestuck about it and when we went on we did like improv basically to the circumstances and that faded into like i was a detective but sometime the detective's partner when i was the partner it was like oh god what are my lines situation when i was the detective i was like exploring the area making like Decisions like do i jump in the water to grab these documents do i wander these back alley markets alone? they were lovely pumpkin falls stuff but my phone was full and i had no money and one of the table clerks looked like one of the old men in my child life who were weird perverts to me that my dad and his then girlfriend allowed (like it was her dad) so i just let him talk at me and ignored my discomfort but it wasnt inappropriate talk it was about his wife and his like gourd garden

while this was all going on it was Also interjected with me sitting in like a townhall sort of meeting of like politicians and people who are like Go Team about politics and they were talking and i finally interjected in this big speech that i didnt flub up once and then after i was done i just left into the hall where the theater was, like this great wide hall with white tile the whole thing glowed like from the ceiling lights like the interior of a mid00s scifi shoot

then the final dream was this really involved like magical system where i was attending school and i had like two friends we got sent to like an Untamed Reality and made friends with the Monsters after foiling some scheme and when we got back to our reality like the school we tried to enroll into someone like rich kid rival had been spreading rumors about us, but we had to attend a different school cause despite saving the world or whatever we got exiled/expelled/outlaws from all the damage we did but we had to like get back in to get training so we would be able to stand a chance against the Big Bad but the headmaster of this school was fine with me he wasnt fine with my friends in like a Ew What Are Those bigotry sort of way (one was a snail operating like a humanoid mech suit) and another was like a wood elf but wood elves were more animaloid like shifting beast parts on the body depending on the local fauna and i was like a Wizard from a Respectable Family fallen from Gracecore and i was like well fuck you whatever lets go see if the bloodmages let us in their school, and these ones were like the war/battlemages and he was like one second wait at leeeeast try out our entrance exam as a way to trap us cause he realized the last second he could at least get some money out of us as ransom to different parties or like kill us and get a reward

but when the monsters came out it was like the wood elf knew how to deal with like a savage war hound and had it like on its back tail wagging ready for pets and then a troll came out and we were like hey is he even paying you? yeah man you should be getting paid, and we broke like the magic dome up and out of the area and thats where That dream ended

my final dream was like being stuck in like a hoarder room but i was doing something lewd in front of a mirror despite that, well! then i woke up and was like! okay ! <-starts my day

#dream journal #i was like wah thank you bill / u \ <-lunatic

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savethepinecones · 1 year ago

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ive got asthma. i run across a crosswalk and i end up wheezing for a good ten minutes. i dont have much stamina or speed and my asthma limits my ability to even improve these. i have an inhaler that im supposed to use multiple times per day and another one that i use whenever my breathing gets bad.

ive had the asthma since i was a baby, but because i wasnt very active (i was more of a music kid than a sports kid), for a long time it didnt have much of an impact on my life. for a solid chunk of my childhood i more or less forgot i had it at all. sure i would get winded easily but thats normal when youre out of shape right? i never excercised so it must just be that.

in the past several years, though, its gotten worse. wildfires affected air quality in my area and i started to occasionally have trouble breathing just from being outside for too long. i finally went to a doctor and got an inhaler (i hadnt bothered to get one in years since i used it so rarely and even if i didnt my breathing would sort itself out. eventually). currently ive got one that im supposed to use multiple times a day and another that i carry with me to use if i get winded while im out and about. even with these, i still cant run much without it affecting my breathing. i dont especially enjoy running so im not too upset by the lack of it in my life but its frustrating that i cant do it on the occasion that i want or need to do so.

ive had a similar journey with my mental health. i ignored it as a kid, convinced myself everything was fine and normal, until i eventually had to admit to myself that that wasnt the case. what most people considered a brisk walk or light jog was more like running a marathon for me. i only worked parttime for years until i was able to get on antidepressants because i knew fulltime would be too much for me without them. when i did start taking meds, it was still difficult but technically possible.

i managed to keep my pace up for two years before i hit a limit i couldnt force myself to push through. whether id finished the marathon or not, i couldnt keep running. so i took a break. i sat down on a bench, drank some water, and waited for my breathing to slow as i watched others run past, going at a similar speed to what id been keeping, but barely looking winded. i knew i wouldnt be able to return to my previous pace. even once my breathing evened out, i was still exhausted. and i couldnt just will that exhaustion away. i tried anyway. once my lungs had stopped hurting, i stood up and started running again. my legs still ached and my breathing quickly worsened but i had to keep moving so i ignored as much as i could and endured the rest. i stopped several times to take a break but i didnt allow myself to sit again. this went on for maybe two weeks before my legs gave out and i had to find another bench.

since then ive been catching my breath. letting my burning limbs rest. i decided that once i was well and truly ready to start running again, i would go slow enough that i could keep a steady pace without wearing myself out. i probably wont work fulltime ever again.

ive more or less caught my breath but my legs are killing me so even though i want to keep moving, im going to go slow. im walking slowly, gradually picking up the pace while being careful not to push myself too hard. its difficult. im not used to acknowledging my limits. i spent two decades thinking that as long as i didnt collapse i was fine. i hadnt allowed myself to slow whenever my breathing became labored. my lungs would ache but i would continue on my sprint regardless. sometimes i still push myself too hard. other times i think im not running fast enough. i catch myself thinking that even if i cant run like everyone else is, i should do as much as i can. i should determine what my limit is and stay just a hair below that speed. its not comfortable, but this has never been comfortable, so what does that matter?

no, i tell myself. your comfort matters. go at whatever speed works for you. i repeat this to myself as i continue to walk. sometimes i jog a little. im surprised to find it enjoyable. ive always been too exhausted to enjoy the run. still, everyone else maintains the same speed theyve had from the start. they look at me walking and criticize me for not running seriously. some say ive had enough time to catch my breath, so i should get back to sprinting now. i tell them i dont think i should. they say im not trying hard enough.

sometimes i look at the people running past and feel guilty for not keeping pace. like ive let myself down somehow. i remind myself that this isnt a race, its more of a jogging path. im allowed to walk if i need to. people run past, scoffing at me for giving up. i havent given up, i want to tell them. im still walking. still making progress.

someone grabs my arm, pulling me forward. forcing me to match their speed. i know theyre trying to help me, but im tripping over my feet in my struggle to keep up. theyre struggling too, i can tell, but they wont allow themselves to stop or slow. you need to do better, they tell me. tiredness is no excuse. i dont know how to explain to them that i passed tired long ago. i pull my arm away. i cant keep up with you. and thats okay. no its not, they tell me. you must run like the rest of us. walking isnt even close to good enough. they run ahead. i jog for a few minutes, enjoying the run, then stop at a bench for a water break. i begin walking again. i remind myself that thats enough.

#idk what this is its late and ive had a shit day #also its 3 am which certainly doesnt help #ive been thinking about the difference between neurotypical standards of functionality and my own #like if neurotypical 100% is working fulltime eating properly socializing maintaining relationships staying on top of chores etc #then reminding myself to eat three times a day and attempting to fix my sleep schedule is a pretty low percentage #even at my best ill never approach that 100%#my ideal would be something like 75% on that scale #and even that is probably out of my reach realistically #at least for the foreseeable future #idk i just feel like people see that im not working #and assume im not trying at all #when the truth is im genuinely doing my best #anyway feel free to reblog #im not sure if this even makes sense but im just tired enough to think that ive just written something brilliant lol #this was more or less just stream of consciousness so sorry if its inconsistent #im too tired to try to edit it so im just sending this massive block of text into the universe as is

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pesterloglog · 1 year ago

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Rose Lalonde, John Egbert, Dave Strider

Act 1, page 204

TT: I'm working on the bathroom.

TT: But we are running low on Build Grist.

EB: oh man who cares about the bathroom, now there's a meteor heading for my house!!!

TT: I see.

TT: Do you suppose it has anything to do with the game?

EB: i don't know, maybe! what do i do!

TT: I think it's very likely.

TT: The walkthroughs vaguely suggest an impending threat before they end.

TT: The already poorly constructed sentences become even more curt and ambiguous.

TT: As if written hastily and with a sense of alarm.

TT: Actually, their dedication to updating the walkthrough under such circumstances is admirable.

EB: wow, FASCINATING.

EB: ??????

TT: If the meteor is a game construct, I think the only thing to do is to proceed, and try to solve the dilemma on the game's terms.

TT: Try using the lathe.

TT: It says you can use the card on it, but isn't more specific than that.

EB: ok i'll do that.

TT: Really, it is a labor to read this drivel.

TT: If I read any more my brain will need to be spoon-fed from a jar.

TT: While it blows spit bubbles in a highchair.

TT: I think I will write my own walkthrough.

TT: That is, after we make sure you don't die.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:34 --

TG: i heard you got the box

TG: i hope you appreciate my heroic fatherly perseverance in getting it to you

TG: in my rough and tumble dirty wifebeaterly sort of way

TG: also i hope you appreciate how many no-talent douches had their mitts on that bunny before you

TG: its like a grubby baton in some huge douchebag marathon

TG: hey where are you

EB: oh man, the bunny was awesome, but i don't have time to talk, i'm playing sburb and it's kind of a nightmare.

EB: TT is breaking everything in my house.

TG: dude i told you to steer clear of that game

TG: and for that matter you should probably wash your hands of flighty broads and their snarky horseshit altogether

EB: and now there's a meteor coming, and i'm not even joking about that!!!

EB: it's like a big asteroid or comet or something.

EB: in the sky.

EB: heading right for my house!!!!!!!!

TG: oh man

TG: how big is it

EB: i dunno.

EB: big, i guess.

EB: i gotta go!

EB: we'll talk later if i am still alive and the earth isn't blown up.

TG: like the size of texas

TG: or just rhode island

TG: theyre always throwing around these geographical comparisons to give us a sense of scale like it really means anything to us

TG: but its like it doesnt matter its always just like: WOW THATS PRETTY FUCKING BIG

TG: like mr president theres a meteor coming sir. oh yeah, how big is it? its the size of texas sir

TG: OH SHIT

TG: or, how big is it? its the size of new york city sir

TG: OH SHIT

TG: sir im afraid the comet is the size of your moms dick

TG: OH SNAP

TG: sir are you familiar with jupiter

TG: you mean like the planet?

TG: yeah

TG: well its that big sir

TG: hmm that sounds pretty big

TG: i have a question

TG: is it jupiter?

TG: yes sir, earth is literally under seige by planet fucking jupiter

TG: OH SHIT

TG: anyway later

#homestuck #rose lalonde #john egbert #dave strider #homestuck act 1 #page 204

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quirklessidiot · 4 years ago

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Title: ghosted [coward series au] Pairing: F!Reader x Miya Atsumu Genre: fluff, mild angst, expecting parents au

Synopsis: an alternate timeline where instead of breaking up over the phone, you break down and tell him you’re pregnant instead.

Warnings: mentions of abortion and early pregnancy

notes; probably would recommend to read the series but yall can read it as it is. also can i say this is also my favorite side story haha...and that is it, thank you for tuning in to coward, it has been one heck of a ride and yall have been so supportive ily all fr. If yall are interested send some drabbles, im accepting until eight uwu :3

read the series here! [ ss;; one, two, three, four ]

Ghosted.

Atsumu has been ghosted by his own girlfriend.

He doesn’t want to believe it, it was just so odd coming from you. He wants to ask around but you were never exactly close with anyone, he didn’t even know the name of the best friend that you’d mention from time to time or your family.

In that moment, he had the frightening realization.

He never knew you at all.

The blonde feels sick to the bone, he’s reduced to a hot mess these days. People telling him to move on, telling him that there are other better ones out there but Atsumu never wanted anyone else. It’s always been about you ever since that day he saw you.

Just you.

He feels light headed at the fact that he just lost one of the best things he had in life. That he’ll never find someone like you again, someone as patient or as loving as you.

The lump on his throat grows and he wants to yell out his frustrations in the walls of his quiet apartment but something stops him.

A phone call.

From an unknown number.

He gulps down his frustrations and shakily answers the call, ready to tell the other person to fuck off but when he hears your soft voice, all inhibitions are lost.

“Atsumu.” your usual calm voice filled his ears and he suddenly feels the weight of the world is removed from his shoulders, thank god you were okay.

“Y/N? sweetheart? Where are you?”

“Out.”

“Where outside exactly?” Miya Atsumu dryly asks, “It’s cold, you shouldn’t be out now and wandering about. Would you like me to pick you up-”

“I can’t do this anymore.” you suddenly cut him off and the line goes quiet. The blonde feels the world around him quiet down when he hears those words that he wished he heard wrong.

“What’s-what’s wrong? Y/N, are you alright?”

“I don’t know,” You mutter, “I’m just tired.”

“Tired of what exactly?”

“Of you, of us…”

“Y/N, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Yes.” Your voice remained dead calm as if you just hadn’t broken his heart in a million pieces that moment, “Let’s stop this here now, Atsumu. Let’s break-up.”

“That’s…” He tries to keep the mood light, praying that this is one of your dark jokes, “That’s not funny, Y/N.”

“It’s not supposed to be since it’s not a joke.”

Your response was curt as usual and he doesn’t know whats worse, the fact that you’re breaking up over the phone or the fact that your tone remains composed.

“Y/N, don’t do this...Sweetheart don’t do this over the phone.” His tone seemed desperate at this point, he knows he sounds pathetic but he can’t help it. If begging was the only way to get you back next to him, he’d gladly do it. He’s desperate for you, he’s always been since the beginning, “I’m not stopping this until you tell me what's wrong between us, you have to give me something to work with Y/N. Is it something I did?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean ya don’t know?” Atsumu started to raise his tone when he notices how unaffected you seem at the other line.Frustration slowly started to bubble up in him, the accent turning thicker as he got angrier, “Y/N ya can’t just disappear out of the blue and call me one day and tell me you want to break up! Do you think I’m some sort of fling? Some one-night stand or fuck buddies? We’ve been together for two years, Y/N. Two whole fucking years, What’s wrong? Do you not love me anymore?”

Silence filled the line that you could hear a pin drop.

Hesitance.

“Y/N?” he repeats your name, this time softer, he notices the ragged breathing on the other side of the line, something was wrong, “Y/N? What’s wrong? Please talk to me...”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Y/N?”

This was out of character, even for you.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Y/N? Sweetheart, What do you mean?” He feels weak when he hears those words, his anger slowly dissipating. You truly did sound tired on the other line, maybe it was really over. Maybe he should let you go.

Maybe he should stop being a selfish and desperate bastard, he'd only hurt you more if he continued this on.

“I…” he hears a very soft cry on the other line, “I’m pregnant.”

All he hears now is your cries and the fast beating of his heart, pregnant? You were pregnant?

“A-and its alright...It’s alright if you want to have nothing to do with the kid...I-I’ll find a way…” He hears you try to say on the other line as he grips his phone tight, was that why you ran away last week? For this? Atsumu lets out a shaky sigh as he hears the usual calm voice panicking and completely out of breath as if you’d just run a marathon, “...I-I-”

“Breath.” He cuts you off, his voice turning deadly calm.

You’re not sure if you should be scared or relieved by it.

“W-what?”

“Breathe for a moment and tell me where you are.” Atsumu grabs his coat and wallet, “I can’t let my pregnant girlfriend stay under the cold for too long. Let’s grab something to eat, yeah? Don’t pregnant women have cravings or some shit? You really like those red buns we got when we first hung out, right? Or that karaage chicken? There's a twenty four hour one nearby my place then you can have a hot bath and sleep here after, you still have your clothes with me.”

The blonde’s tone is nonchalant as if you just hadn’t dropped life-changing news moments ago.He finally hears the sniffles die down, “Aren’t you going to leave me?”

“Now why the fuck would I do that? I’ve been chasing after you since I first saw you. A kid ain’t going to scare me.” He grumbled, he wasn’t a wimp. Kids? Pft, bring it on, “Now where are ya, Y/N? I miss you and you have to bring me to your next doctor's appointment, I swear to god-”

“I’m at the park…” You breathe out, cutting him off as relief slowly spreads on your system, “Where we went on our first date.”

Atsumu feels his heart thump, well, what do you know. You had some theatrics up your sleeve too.

“Hey.” He softly calls out, as he exits his apartment and walks towards his destination, the cold not even bothering him the slightest because he was going to see you, “Wait for me there.”

“I-I will.”

“And I love you, you know that right?” Atsumu paused, the thought of having kids now was scary but if you chose to keep it, he wouldn’t mind. He’d be the best otosan and husband if you changed your mind he could be towards you and that unborn brat, “I love you too damn much, Sweetheart. So don’t ever forget me when you’re making these decisions.”

“I won’t.” He hears a loud sigh on the other line, as if a huge burden was released, “I...I love you too damn much too…”

Atsumu feels his brain short circuit as he hears those words from you out loud, a grin started to slowly make its way to his features as he started to sprint towards the park, “Look behind ya, sweetheart.” He exclaims through the phone when he finally sees your familiar figure facing him.

You turn around to face him and he sees the red nose and wet cheeks.

It was evident that you had been crying hard.

Ending the call and shoving the phone back in his pocket, he runs towards you instead and carefully tackles you into a hug.

“Please don’t scare me like that again.” He pleads, burying his face on your shoulders and seeping in your warmth, “Shit, I wouldn’t know what I’d do if you left me.”

You slowly and hesitantly hug him back with the same tightness, finally succumbing to his warmth.

This was nice.

You could get used to this.

Home, this was definitely what home felt like.

taglist [officially closed, ily all, this series would never be possible without all you people + other readers]

@fortheloveofiwaizumi ; @svtbitch ; @kiyoomile ; @lovedanii ; @juno-multifandom ; @gyubit17 ; @saeranoppa ; @nixxona ; @kyomihann @shorttstackk ; @intoomuchfandoms ; @yammmers ; @mx-minxx @itsmattsunshinehere ; @missingmystogan ; @volleybloop ; @imcravingyou ; @yams-wants-that-booty ; @liathachcapricious ; @pinknugget @seikamuzu ; @marigoldthoughts ; @sillykittt ; @baejinoffcl ; @alluring-akaashi ; @bnhasstuff ; @intheawks ; @bokuakadaily ; @agaassi ; @yams046 ; @dope-squish ; @chrisrue15 ; @vermillionwaves ; @demursv1ogs ; @just-snog-already ; @angmarwitch ; @simpingonothers ; @woo-youngs ; @cowward ; @chaelysian ; @sempiternal-amour ; @jungshookmeup ; @jovialnoise ; @karlitabi-rrito ; @iwaizluv ; @sugarandsoft ; @tspice283 ; @ohshirabu ; @syzygymai ; @volleybloop ; @oikaw-ugh ; @pockytokyo ; @differentballooncollection ; @keniloveshaikyuu ; @turquoiselace ; @playboygeniusphilanthropist ; @keijislut ; @notyourbitchboy

@misosamu @Etherynaw @ryaaaax @allysasteaparty @mikaashi @brownie0food @ph10xy @Chocolaterumble [hi, i can’t seem to tag u guys, i think you need to open your tags uwu]

#haikyuu imagines #haikyu!! fanfics #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu imagine #miya atsumu scenarios #miya atsumu fanfiction #miya atsumu #haikyuu fluff #atsumu x reader #atsumu imagines #atsumu fluff #atsumu scenarios

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quolant · 4 years ago

Note

11, 19, or 28 for cj/toby or any ship if you don’t feel comfortable with writing them!!!

also i JUST REALIZED YOURE ALSO DESI AND IM FREAKING OUT i have no idea why tww attracts so many desi girls but i love it so much... also you’re one of my favorite writers in the fandom!!! atwixt was fucking amazing and i love the press sec au to pieces- especially rewind- so i just wanted to thank you and tell you!!!

aw omg thank you!!!!! ur incredibly sweet!!! and yea desi ppl unite! here's no 11! i hope u don't mind but i made it a sports night/sports reporting au, bc i feel like cj and toby totally have an energy similar to that show, and im sort of on a SN kick. hope u like it :)

The first time Toby showed up, CJ was annoyed and hot off the presses with the fact that the Olympic coverage was being cut, which was awful and stupid for an infinite amount if reasons especially since — wait for it! — Sports Night had crept from number 3 to number fucking 2 in the ratings. They were the second best national sports show and it was CJ's show. The network was trying to cut their budget again, which incidentally included letting go of people — she wasn't letting that happening. These were her people and she wae their field captain, leading them to the goal. So — game, set, match.

Leo told her he was sending over a sports statistician and a research analyst which — fine. Whatever. But when nothing happened the week of that meeting with Leo and Robert Ritchie from CSC she waited. And waited.

It was during a rundown meeting. She was ignoring how Josh and Sam were not-flirting through banter again, which she'd tolerated since Sam was a fresh journalism grad from Princeton and she and Josh were at their first jobs at DC Sports. CJ told herself that maybe, one day they'd realize some sense and do something about it (or Donna would figure something out. Probably), but it was really only to make herself feel better. Charlie made a comment that made her rethink their report on the Giants and also made her infinitely thankful for Charlie Young.

His interview for the junior associate producer job had been interrupted by Sam, who Josh had dragged away with a apologetic, boyish grin, with CJ staring daggers at them both.

Anyway, they'd wrapped talking about the Olympics and a feature about the Mets which predictably, Josh and no one else was excited about, and then —

"Toby Ziegler's coming," Donna said at the end, writing something on her paper pad.

CJ felt her eyebrows crunch together. "Toby Ziegler. Am I supposed to know who that is? Because —"

And then Toby Ziegler showed up with his goddamn messenger bag and derailed everything.

"Who the hell —" CJ said, coming after him. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

He stared at her with a flat look. "I'm a research analyst. I specialize in ratings."

"I'm aware, since you thoroughly eviscerated our show. You made Sam mope. Sam Seaborn doesn't mope."

"Is Sam the one that runs his mouth like a marathon? Or the one that likes to use a lot of ten dollar words and looks like he belongs in a high rise somewhere?"

"The —" She resisted the urge to say something about how accurate the descriptions were. "The second one."

"I'm also a sports statistician," he added, still flat and then, like an afterthought: "Sam seems young."

"He's thirty-one. And you're just full of surprises aren't you? I got a two for one deal here."

"Your point?"

"My point is that if you're rocking the boat, I'm rocking back. I've ran this show for three years — we're number 2 — and I'm not losing that."

Toby pinched his nose. "Look, before this, I was happily educating young minds at Columbia. Then Leo, who, incidentally, is someone that I consider a friend, called me up to take a look at things here — "

"Oh, so we're what — a detour? Your local pit stop —"

"I — no. Look —"

CJ made them go to the Editing room. She set her hands on her hips. "You're going to tell me your deal and we're working out a plan.'

"A plan?"

She studied him. "A plan."

"If it helps, I also detest Robert Ritchie," he said, with that same flat, near-sarcastic tone, but the crow's feet around his eyebrows deepened. CJ blinked, and then took a moment to breathe.

"That... helps."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

It wasn't great at first. Toby stole Sam and Donna's script at some point on a show the next week to make corrections without warning, leaving Josh squawking next to CJ while Charlie pressed his palms to his eyes and quietly groaned. Then there was the fact that Toby and Josh got along as well as a house that was literally on goddamn fire (i.e. not well), which didn't help since Josh was senior associate producer and generally CJ'S right hand man — but then Toby had turned around on the network after they'd offered him Leo's job with the equivalent of a fuck you.

And Toby was smart — irritatingly so — he had predictions on the Knicks and the Dodgers and the Wizards (...soccer? soccer??) that he could back up with data and dry wit — and then they turned out to be right. He picked up things even though it looked like he was bored out of his mind.

At a rundown meeting, they were wrapping up when CJ peered at Toby, who'd been scribbling something the whole time. On a newspaper. She set her hands on the table, as everyone started clearing out, before she mentioned: "Toby?"

"Yeah?"

"I heard that 9 down in the Times today is botanical."

"I'm actually doing a sudoku puzzle, CJ."

"Hey," Sam started. "I'm a fan of — hey!" He looked at Josh, who was crossing his arms and had probably kicked him under the table.

"Toby?" CJ asked.

"Yeah?"

"You want to say something? You know we're sitting here, we're talking, it's one of those things called a meeting —"

"The Ravens need a better defense, Charlie needs to find that tape from UMichigan, you're still gunning to get more people and coverage in Sydney, and if Josh keeps going on LemonLyman.com, you're shoving a motherboard up his ass. Which — completely justified. How does he even have fans anyway? He's never on camera."

"Toby, actually —" Josh began, but then jolted a little like he was in pain, like he'd been kicked under the table. He glared at Donna, who shrugged, but as soon as he turned away, a small smile curled on her face.

Toby peered at her. "Did I get the gist?"

CJ didn't say anything for a moment. Toby wasn't really smiling, he didn't do that, but his mouth was twitching and it was —

She sighed. "Everyone, leave, we — we've got to lock things down."

Toby was the last to go. She stood up, and it waa just them in the meeting room. "So. You do listen over sudoku."

"It's my job."

"Right." CJ looked for something to say but couldn't find it. There was something here that was new, and strange, but — but not unwelcome. She hadn't thought about anyone in months, not with Sports Night becoming bigger and bigger, but now —

Toby cleared his throat. "CJ?"

"Yeah," CJ said, taking off her glasses and pushing a hand through her hair. "Yeah, ok. Let's go do the show."

The — whatever it was between them stayed. A few months passed. Josh amd Sam were still in their strange limbo. Donna mentioned how she was picking up running and was getting pretty good at it. Charlie was promoted from junior associate to associate producer. Toby and CJ still circled — not warily, not quite. It was something else. Something new. One day, they were talking about ratings and how to raise them, and the conversations flowed like water, a push and pull that felt — good.

After, CJ set down her glasses. "You want to get a drink?"

Toby looked at her. "A... drink."

"Alcohol. I like cosmopolitans, Sam likes —"

"No, I — Sure."

It was the first time she'd brougt him to the Hawk 'n' Dove after the show wrapped up. Josh was still grumpy, (but warming up after Toby mentioned something about the Mets and spring training) but everyone else greeted them with grins and raised glasses.

It was — good. Seeing the almost-almost-surprise on Toby's face was worth it. CJ grinned at him. "Guess you're here, with us now."

Instead of quipping back, Toby just looked at her with something that she couldn't figure out but at it, something shifted in her chest. Tipped over. Her face went hot and —

Then Ainsley from Legal was starting a story about her last job, and everyone went to listen. Toby blinked and went too. CJ looked after him, before sipping at her drink.

And then — it happened.

CJ blinked. "You're kidding. You're absolutely, unequivocally kidding. Leo."

"CJ, if I say it again, it's not less true." Leo looked at her, flipping through a file folder. "You're going to Sydney for the Olympics. With a team."

"Can I take Sam and Donna?"

"One of them," Leo said. "The network's not that lenient. The day that happens, the damn sky's falling down."

CJ did a little dance, right there in Leo's office. She expected him to raise an eyebrow, but he gave her a near imperceptible smile.

"How?" she asked. I mean, two months ago, they were yanking us and cutting corners left and right."

"You can ask Toby," Leo said, scanning some paperwork. "He went in with them, and then he came out, and now you and I are here." He took off his glasses. "He's good at what he does, CJ."

And then — it hit her.

"He is," she said, a little faint and left.

Toby'a office was cloistered away from Josh and Charlie's shared workplace, a notch in the hallway. When CJ came in, he was on his computer, scratching at his beard.

"You," she started.

He raised an eyebrow. "...me? Should we bring in other nouns? I can add a modifer, maybe."

"You —" and then it fell out of her mouth. "You owe me a kiss."

His eyes went wide. "CJ—"

His voice was — gruff, but held a quiet sweetness that wrapped around her ribs like ivy. She crossed her arms, stared at him head on. "You owe me a kiss, frankly, because of how you got me coverage. And your — your whole deal. All your not-smiles that're actually smiles. The way you just — stormed in that one day and burrowed your way in. Like a gopher."

He seemed at a loss for words, but got up anyway. Then, Toby said, voice a little hoarse, a little low: "A... gopher."

"A —" CJ moved closer, closer. "You're a lot of things."

"I — yes. I guess so." He moved closer.

"Statistician and ratings analyst? That makes quite a pair." They were breathing the same air, this time, this moment. CJ felt her heart pulse, like it was right under her skin.

"I double majored in when I was in undergrad. It had a lot of options. Maybe too many."

"I'll guess statistics and communications."

He leaned in — and for a moment, CJ thought he'd kiss her. But all Toby said was, unbearably tender, eyes dark and warm: "You're good at guessing."

"It's an educated guess. I'm good at a lot of things," CJ murmured, and then leaned forward to close the distance between them.

#the west wing #prompts #thanks for the prompt!#cjtoby #claudiajeanscregg #cj/toby

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wavesmp3 · 4 years ago

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directors cut: oasis

[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]

okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:

its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)

but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi

and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol

now for the timeline of me writing:

so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding.

and then i started writing

and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that)

but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing...

i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did

and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)

but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol

also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically

anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.

okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]

so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol

also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city

i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who

also rashi is my favorite character xD

i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute

this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long

and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO

DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?

yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....

i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter

fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out

if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops

it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket

the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up

this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.

okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized

oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me

also the five friends part.....CUTE

when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why

okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally

i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be

also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth.

I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick

oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities

so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy

saskila scares me omg

again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha

yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah

this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet

but this next scene makes me so sad

like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown

yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did

and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.

okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing

oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that

yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.

I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me

but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about

so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has

and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew

the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !

omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” / “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute

“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi

“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*

okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg

okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL

i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad

but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line

also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too

when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears

this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh

yeah that whole part i love so much

the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!

so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol

okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft

news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad

gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.” it hurts so bad im sorry

the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol

but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!” I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol

honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.

but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe

these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright

i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.”

“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b

this whole part... chills bro

“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....

okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works

it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling

them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward

red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah

also kyunyu bestiessss

tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets

oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind

okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “

lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this

the running !!!

yeah also every part after that... tears okay

yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much

i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna

okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao

#oasis #mine #not sure what else to tag this lol #oh #directors commentary #this got so long for no reason

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soobiniebaby · 4 years ago

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Angels & Devils Part XI : I’m Yours, You’re Mine

A n g e l s & D e v i l s || Tomorrow x Together Fanfiction

~ p a r t s : main post || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || part 6 || part 7 || part 8 || part 9 || part 10 || part 11 || part 12 || part 13 || part 14 || part 15 || part 16 || part 17 ~ p a i r i n g : love triangle involving choi soobin and choi yeonjun ~ g e n r e : high school au | some social media au | some fluff & angst | childhood friends | love triangle ~ l a n g u a g e : English ~ w a r n i n g : contains swearing, alcohol, kissing (?) and may contain mature themes (angst, etc.) ~ a / n : This will be my first fanfic (go easy on me pls) and i’m just writing this as I go along, so bear with me juseyo The setting (place/country) of the story is up to the reader’s interpretation ~ s u m m a r y : What should she choose? Han Baby: the new girl with a troubled past MO Academy: her new high school Choi Soobin: student council president, member of the Ecosave club, volunteer at the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of the Honor Society, a vocalist in the Jazzed club, the school’s all around golden boy Choi Yeonjun: leader of the Dance club, star of the Jazzed club, the school’s it boy with a bad rep 5 best friends, 1 new girl, 1 childhood friendship, 1 epic love triangle? What will this school year bring?

Over the weekend, B and Kai had spent most of their time lounging around the living room, finishing the entire season of It’s Okay to Not Be Okay on Netflix on Saturday and having a movie marathon on Sunday. They ordered all their meals and had all the food they wanted delivered to the apartment, their food cravings ranging from donuts and milk tea to egg tarts and mint chocolate ice cream. It felt like one of the many sleepovers they used to have when they were kids, only now it was just the 2 of them in a place of their own, without nosy siblings or strict parents to bother them or tell them what they could or couldn’t do.

Other than stuffing their faces with food and drowning their emotions in Netflix, they finally had all the time in the world to do all the catching up that they hadn’t been able to, asking questions and telling stories about what they had missed out on each other’s lives through the years.

“First kiss?” B asks.

“Oh, I think I was in the 7th grade, and it was with Im Yeojin. You?”

“Lucas Wong. A couple of years ago.” B responds.

Kai shakes his head. “That guy was your first kiss ever? Lucas? Your ex?”

B nods. “The one and only. Next question please?”

“Alright, worst ex?” Kai asks intentionally.

“Ningning, you know I’ve only had 1 boyfriend.”

“Yes, and he was the worst! He had the audacity to cheat on you! And all because you wouldn’t ‘put out?’ He's lucky I lived 3 hours away or else I would’ve kicked his ass.” Kai says, huffing.

B laughs, trying to swallow down the lump in her throat that formed whenever she talked about her horrible ex boyfriend. There was so much more to their relationship than him cheating on her cause she wouldn’t put out, but she wasn’t ready to let her best friend know all about it just yet. “Thanks, but judging by the size of his biceps, I don’t think that could’ve ever happened anyway.”

Kai pouts. “Are you saying I should start going to the gym?”

B laughs at him dismissively before changing the subject.

Also, sharing a living space with another person was also a bit of an adjustment for B since she had already gotten used to living alone. Her apartment only had one bathroom which she now shared with Kai, and now she had to keep all her personal toiletries set aside and her feminine hygiene products kept away, not wanting a repeat of the horrifying moment when her best friend walked out of the bathroom with his face all red.

“What happened to you?” she had asked, noticing how flushed he looked after being in the bathroom for 20 minutes.

“You know that when I’m, um, taking a shit I like to read the back of labels of whatever I see in the bathroom, right?” Kai starts slowly.

“Okay, weird, but go on.”

He takes a big gulp before continuing. “Well, let’s just say I now know how to properly put on a tampon. And let me just say, I’m glad I wasn’t born a woman.”

After that incident, B made sure to keep all feminine hygiene products hidden away in the bathroom cabinets. She ensured to leave a stack of random books and magazines on the bathroom counters so Kai would have something to read when doing his business. Other than that, B also had to remind herself that it was no longer socially acceptable to walk around her apartment in nothing but a tshirt and underwear on, since she had gotten used to roaming the space without worrying about other people seeing what she looked like. She usually went to bed in just a shirt and underwear and roll out of bed and straight into the kitchen for breakfast without a care in the world. Now, she had to double check and make sure that she was wearing bottoms and a bra before stepping out of her bedroom.

Even though there were many things she hadn’t considered before inviting a guy to stay in her apartment, she had to admit that it was nice to have company around. She hadn’t realized how lonely it was to live alone until Kai had come along, and now she was already sort of dreading the day when he’d get better and move out. She was starting to consider finding a room mate before then, knowing that she’d feel lonely once her company had to leave.

Come Monday morning, B woke up feeling excited. She rolled out of bed, put on a pair of shorts, and made her way to the kitchen, only to be surprised by the sight of breakfast already prepared on the table. A plate full of bacon and sunny side up eggs, a bowl full of fresh fruit and cereal, and a glass of blue lemonade were all neatly laid out on the table, and Kai was sitting there with an apron still tied around his waist. When he saw B step out from her room, he immediately greeted her “Wakey wakey Baba, time to go back to school!”

B rubs the sleep from her eyes, making sure she wasn’t just dreaming that Kai had prepared breakfast for her. Once the smell of freshly cooked bacon filled wafted in the air, she immediately brightens up and walks on over to give her best friend a hug.

“Ningning, you did all this for me? Thank you so much!” she says in awe.

“Yup, I wanted to make it special since it’ll be your first day back at MOA today.” Kai says. “Now hurry up before it gets cold. You have to be ready in 40 minutes.”

B all but gobbles up all the food that Kai had prepared for her before jumping into the shower, drying her hair, putting on some make up and changing into her school uniform, making sure she had everything she needed before letting Kai walk her to the front door.

“Have fun, Baba!” Kai says.

“Sure thing. Make sure to keep the door locked and call me if you need anything.” she says, waving goodbye before making her way downstairs to meet Taehyun.

As soon as Taehyun sees her, his eyes visibly light up.

“B! Finally, I’ve missed you so much.” he says, waving hello before stretching his arms out towards her. “Come here!”

B excitedly runs up, preparing to hug Taehyun, until at the last minute he folds his hands across his chest and takes a step back, which stops her in her tracks.

“On second thought, don’t touch me. You may be medically cleared already, but since Hyuka’s staying with you, you might still be carrying the pox.” he says. It’s only then when she notices that he was wearing a face mask and had a small spray bottle of alcohol hanging from his school ID lace.

She smiles at him sheepishly. “I missed you too, you know.” she says, opting to wrap her arms around her own torso instead.

He laughs at her silly antics before following suit, wrapping his arms around himself. “Let’s just pretend that we’re hugging right now.”

B nods. “Alrighty. Thanks, Tyun.”

“Don’t mention it. Now come on, put on your face mask and make sure you have hand sanitizer before we go.” he says, adjusting the mask on his face.

She puts on a mask and puts a small bottle of hand sanitizer in her pocket before they start making their way to school.

“I’ve missed these walks of ours.” B says happily, breathing in the morning air.

“I’ve missed them too. And I’ve missed you. School was a bit boring without you, and walking to school alone just didn’t feel the same.”

“How have things at MOA been, apart from the health protocols? And how are the guys?” B asks.

“Apart from the implementation of health protocols, school has pretty much been the same. The guys miss you. I think they’re excited to see you.” Taehyun responds.

“I miss them too.” B says, sighing. She and Yeonjun had FaceTimed every night through the weekend, but she missed him, and she felt a bit sad that they had to cancel their supposed last date. She had to admit that she missed the other guys too. “What makes you think they’re excited to see me, though?”

“They told me to ask you if you could meet them by the front gate of MOA before classes start this morning.” Taehyun says.

“Oh? They did? Weird, but okay. I wonder why.” B says, trying to think of why they might want to meet up. “How have you been? Has anything in your life changed in the past week?” she asks.

Taehyun shrugs. “Not really, same old same old. Just the usual studying at school and working at the café.” he says. “What about you? How have you been doing?”

B shrugs too, mimicking his response. “I’ve been good, nothing much going on.” she says casually, which was a lie. She wanted to tell him about Yeonjun and about how he asked her out and all the dates he put together, but a part of her was scared about how he’d react, so she thought it would be better to tell him when the time was right.

As she and Taehyun approach the campus, her eyes catch sight of 3 familiar figures standing right outside of the gates, particularly to the head of blue hair.

B feels her heart jump out of her chest, speeding up her walking, and Taehyun runs to catch up to her as she starts waving her arms in the air the closer they got until the 3 boys look up in her direction and they all wave back.

“Seriously, you 3, why aren’t you wearing face masks?” Taehyun says as they meet the 3 boys outside the gate.

“Well good morning to you too, Tyun.” Beomgyu says playfully. “Relax, we’re not within campus grounds so we don’t have to wear masks yet.”

B laughs at their banter. “I think Tyun’s just worried that you’ll catch Kai’s chicken pox germs if you stand too close to me without a mask on.” she jokes. “So, why are we meeting up here outside the gates instead of at the front steps like we usually do?”

“Hey, B! Good to see you again.” Beomgyu says.

“Well, you see, there are new health protocols set in place on campus right now, and as members of the student council, we can never be caught violating any rules set within the school.” Yeonjun begins, smiling at her brightly, like there was a secret that only the 2 of them shared.

“Alright, and…?” B asks, not sure where they were going with this.

“And before we go in and start off another week of school, there’s just this 1 health protocol we’d like to violate.” Beomgyu continues.

“Okay, which one? Is it the face mask thing? Why are we standing outside the school gates?” B asks, still confused.

“So we can do this.” Soobin says, before taking a step towards B with arms outstretched and pulling her into him, his whole body engulfing her in a hug.

He feels time stop the moment his arms wrap themselves around her body, her face buried in his chest, the top of her head inches away from his chin, the smell of her lavender-scented shampoo tickling his nose, his hands resting on the curves in her waist.

When Soobin woke up feeling excited that day, he told himself it was just because he was excited to start a new week of school, but deep down he knew that wasn’t the case.

When the guys suggested that they wait for B outside the school gates so that they could greet her a proper ‘welcome back,’ he felt a flutter in his chest, and he told himself that it was just because he was happy that their group would be complete again (minus Kai), but deep down, he knew he was only fooling himself.

When he and the guys stood outside the school gates waiting for B and Taehyun to arrive, he could feel his heart start to beat even faster in anticipation, and he told himself it was just because he was looking forward to see their friend again after a whole week, but he knew there was more to it than that.

When he saw her waving her arms in the air and walking towards them, he felt his breath catch in his throat, and he told himself it was just because he was surprised to see her looking so radiant and healthy knowing how badly sick she was, but he knew it was because of how he was just now realizing how beautiful she really was.

When he took a step towards her and engulfed her delicate figure in his arms, feeling the warmth of her body against his, a feeling washed over him unlike anything he’s experienced before, as if by having her in his arms everything in the world was finally falling into place and the pounding in his chest and the flutter of butterfly wings in his stomach finally made sense, and it was at that moment he knew with absolute certainty just what it was.

It was her. It was B.

He didn’t know how it came to be, or why exactly it happened, but all he knew was that it was her.

It was him realizing that he was falling in love with her.

And the feeling hit him so suddenly with such clarity that for a moment, it felt like the whole world stood still, as his breath seemed to catch in his throat and time seemed to stop as he held her in his arms, savoring the moment and all the emotions that were hitting him all at once.

She lets out a surprised squeal as Soobin pulls her in, only to be muffled by her face being buried in his chest as they embrace.

“Soobinie!” she says, laughing in surprise. “I missed you too.”

Soobin smiles to himself, tempted to rest his chin on her head, but he was aware of the presence of their friends, so he slowly lets her go, his eyes meeting Taehyun’s as he does, and Taehyun’s expression quickly changes as he realizes what was happening.

Taehyun raises his brows in question, and Soobin gives him a quick and discreet nod in response, to which Taehyun shakes his head.

Soobin keeps his head down to conceal the blush creeping into his face as B steps away and Beomgyu tackles her into a hug.

“We missed you so much! I wish I could’ve gotten an excuse to skip school for a week too, though.” Beomgyu says slyly.

“Hey, I did not skip school! I called you everyday to listen in on lectures, remember?” B says defensively, hitting Beomgyu’s chest. “If you wanna stay at home so bad, maybe you should come over to my place. I’m sure Hyuka would gladly give you a big hug, along with the chicken pox of course.”

Beomgyu steps away and holds his hands up in the air in front of him. “No way, I don’t want chicken pox. I’d rather endure school than have hideous spots all over my body.”

B looks at him offended. “You think I have hideous spots all over my body?” she says through gritted teeth.

“Oh, now you’ve done it, Gyu.” Taehyun says, watching as Beomgyu runs away from B to hide behind him. “Don’t worry B, I’ll help you kidnap him after school. I think Hyuka would like to have an extra playmate.”

“I never said that!” Beomgyu cries, running from Taehyun to Yeonjun now, hiding behind the blue haired boy. “B, you look beautiful as always. If anything, the spots just accentuate your beauty.” he says desperately.

B scoffs. “Oh shut up. You’re lucky I like you, or else I would’ve slapped you so hard that the spots would transfer from my skin to yours.”

Yeonjun laughs, shielding Beomgyu behind him. “Wow, I never pegged you to be violent.” he says.

B shrugs. “I’m not. I’m just saying, I could slap someone if I wanted to.”

Yeonjun shakes his head, pulling her into his arms. “Welcome back, Baby.” he whispers in her ear, giving her a quick peck on the cheek and slowly stroking the small of her back, making sure that the other boys don’t see, before letting her go.

Once she pulls away, her face is noticeably red, and Yeonjun can’t help but laugh. God, she looked adorable. He gives her a quick wink before saying “And now that that’s settled, shall we head to class?”

The 3 boys put on their facemasks and let B lead the way into the school gates, each of them having their body temperatures checked and their hands disinfected before walking through the gates.

As B walks ahead of the boys, the 4 boys pair off.

Beomgyu slings an arm around Yeonjun’s shoulders, keeping his voice low as he says “So now that’s she’s back, will you guys have the talk now?”

“What talk?” Yeonjun asks.

“The talk? The relationship talk. You know, the talk about your feelings and where you guys stand and what your label is and stuff like that.” Beomgyu says knowingly. “If the 2 of you don’t want to put a label on whatever it is you 2 are, then you should at least let the other guys know that you’re dating.”

Yeonjun shrugs. “Don’t worry, Gyu. I’ve got it all planned out, you’ll see. I’ve been planning this for days now, but considering that we’re at school, I’ll have to make do. At the end of the day, we might even let you guys know about us.” he responds, his eyes glued to the girl in front of them, which automatically puts a smile on his face. “I’m gonna make that girl mine.”

Meanwhile, Taehyun attempts to sling his arm around Soobin’s shoulders, but with the other boy being much taller and walking a bit faster, he settled for interlocking his arm around Soobin’s instead.

“Oh, hey Tyun.” Soobin says, surprised by the sudden lock on his arm. “What’s up?”

“’What’s up?’” Taehyun says, mimicking him. “You tell me. All your questions about falling in love and stuff…were they about B? Is it her? Are you in love with—”

Soobin cuts him off. “Shhh, the other guys might hear you!” he says, hurriedly looking around and seeing that no one was within ear shot. “Yes, it’s about her. Let’s talk about this later, okay? Alone.”

Taehyun sighs. “Fine, but wow, I should’ve known. I had a feeling it was her. You 2 would make a great couple.” he says teasingly.

“Oh shut up, you know-it-all.” Soobin says, flustered. “I’m sure you would’ve figured it out sooner or later anyway, you’re too damn smart, you know?”

Taehyun laughs. “It doesn’t take a genius to see that you’ve got it bad, Binnie.” he says. “Let’s talk about it soon, okay? Just hang in there.”

Soobin sighs, his eyes focus on the girl walking in front of them. “Trust me, I’m trying.”

•°•

B had to admit that Yeonjun’s sudden request had her heart fluttering, but more than anything it got her head buzzing with curiosity. Within 5 minutes she had excused herself from class, 3rd period biology which she didn’t share with any of the guys, and she was on her way to the student council room, which she had only been to once before with Soobin and Yeonjun. Technically, she was cutting class, but a few minutes probably wouldn’t hurt.

B takes a deep breath, not knowing what quite to expect, before turning the knob on the double doors to the student council room, taking a step inside.

The room was dark, the blackout curtains doing their job, and was only illuminated by the light spilling in from the door and a set of candles in the middle of the conference table, which also highlighted the fact that the conference table seemed to be overflowing with blue rose petals.

And there was Yeonjun, leaning against the table, a single blue rose in his hand. It’s only then when B looks down and notices that the carpeted floor all the way from the entrance of the room to the spot where Yeonjun was standing by the conference table was littered with blue rose petals.

“Yeonjun? What is this?” B asks, stepping inside and closing the door behind her, the only source of light in the room now coming from the candles. She removes her face mask, noticing that he wasn’t currently wearing one, and pockets it in her blazer.

“Baby. Come here.” he says, patting the spot on the table beside him. B walks over to the table, stepping on countless blue petals as she did so, and once she reaches him, Yeonjun takes her by surprise and carries her, lifting her up and setting her down on the table.

“Yeonjun!” she squeals in surprise, clinging on to him for dear life. As her bottom hits the table, she lets go and whacks his arm. “You surprised me!” she huffs, surprised by his sudden maneuver. “And you’re breaking the health protocols! What’s all this for anyway?”

He stands in front of her, simply staring at her, admiring how she looked in the candlelight. A few blue petals had fallen over the edge when he set her down on the table, but that didn’t bother him. He had skipped the entirety of 3rd period to prepare for this moment, so he wouldn’t let anything distract him now.

“All this?” he simply says. Upon seeing the confused look on her face, he takes a step towards her, situating himself in between her dangling legs, and he rests his hands on either side of her, his palms laid flat on the table just centimeters away from her thighs. The whole mood in the room shifted from playful to something different with just that simple action. “All this is for you.”

B could feel her heart start to pound in her chest again. She tried to keep a level head but Yeonjun was standing so close that she could smell him, the scent of his cologne now very familiar to her, and she could feel parts of his uniform lightly tickling at her inner thighs where he stood, sending shivers down her spine. “For me? Why?”

“Because, Baby, you deserve it. You deserve all of it.” he begins carefully, slowly, his gaze locking her in place. “I told you I want to give you all the good things you deserve, and during the past week I tried. Those dates meant a lot to me and I can only hope that you enjoyed them half as much as I did. My plans were cut short because of your unexpected temporary roommate,” he says, fondly referring to Kai, “and maybe I should’ve waited a little bit longer to do this, but I don’t think I can keep this to myself any longer.”

B looks down then, her cheeks starting to heat up. She sees how close his hands are to her thighs and her mouth goes dry. He was standing so close. “What are you talking about?” she says, her eyes transfixed on his hands.

Her eyes follow as he raises one hand to cup her face, lifting it up slightly to meet his gaze. “I want you, Baby.” he says, looking right into her eyes. “I want you to be mine.”

B takes a deep breath, finding herself unable to look away, before she says “I want you, too.”

And with those words, Yeonjun couldn’t resist any longer. He leaned forward, closing what little distance was left between them, and pulled her face up to his, their lips crashing together.

~ w a r n i n g : makeout scene ~

Praying that he couldn’t hear her pounding heartbeat, B returns the kiss with equal fervor, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him even closer. Her fingers entwine themselves in the hair at the nape of his neck, effectively disheveling his blue hair.

Yeonjun’s hands inch away from the table and come in direct contact with her thighs, the sudden warmth of his palms on her bare skin causing B’s mouth to open a little to let out a breath of surprise. She feels him smile against her lips, amused by her reaction, before taking the opportunity to trace her lower lip with his tongue, seeking entrance, which she allows.

His hands start to move slowly up her body then, he slides them up from her thighs to her waist, her skirt hiking up a few inches higher in the process. He breaks the kiss, allowing a moment for them to catch their breaths, before bowing his head down, his lips coming in contact with the sensitive skin on her neck.

“Oh god.” B breathes out, surprised by the contact, and again she feels his lips form a smile against her skin. She tilts her head backwards, his lips trailing kisses along her exposed skin, her heavy breaths starting to make her feel lightheaded.

Just as he’s about to pull away, his lips brush against the dip in her collarbone, causing her to wrap her legs around his waist and her fingers in his hair to dig in deeper, her body reacting to him before her mind could grasp what was happening.

“Fuck.” he breathes against her skin, feeling himself start to lose control.

B’s grip loosens then, her hands dropping from his hair to rest on his shoulders, her breathing heavy as she lets her head fall forward to rest on the top of his head, his face still buried in her neck. “Sorry.” she whispers, trying to control the rise and fall of her chest.

His grip on her waist remains tight, her blouse bunched up in his fists, his head buried in her neck as he tries to calm himself down, his breath coming out through clenched teeth. For a moment, they stay like that, until Yeonjun’s grip gradually starts to loosen, letting go of the fabric of her blouse as his hands go from clenching her waist to gently tracing circles on the now exposed skin on her hips.

~ end of makeout scene ~

“You…” he begins slowly, lifting his head and letting it rest against her forehead, their breaths mingling. “You drive me crazy, you know?”

She lets out a small laugh, shaking her head lightly against his. “Not really, no.”

He laughs too, reaching a hand up to caress her hair, his eyes on hers once again. “Baby.” he simply says.

“Yes?” she responds, unable to stop a smile from creeping on her face. He smiles too, his heart fluttering, and he takes a deep breath before saying the next few words.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

She nods her head eagerly, their foreheads rubbing together. “Choi Yeonjun, I’m all yours.” she says, laughing upon seeing his bright smile. She kisses his nose, then his forehead and each of his cheeks. He starts laughing as she showers his face with light kisses. “I’m yours, you’re mine, Baby.” he says, the feeling washing over him.

“You think it’s safe to let everyone know now?” Yeonjun asks her, remembering how he promised Beomgyu they’d tell the rest of the boys about it soon.

B nods, biting her lip as she thinks of how people would react to the news. Yeonjun was her boyfriend. “Yes.”

He uses his thumb to free her lower lip from her teeth, gently tracing it before kissing her softly again. “Let’s tell the guys later. At lunch.” he says, referring to their daily lunchbreaks spent at the gazebo.

“Sure.” she says. Then she pulls away and pushes herself off the table, straightening out her uniform as she does so. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a Biology class to get back to.”

Yeonjun smirks, watching her pull her skirt down and tuck the hem of her blouse back in, straightening her blazer and running her fingers through her hair. It gave him some sort of satisfaction, knowing that he had gotten her so disheveled. He leans back against the table, running a hand through his hair and straightening out his necktie as well, keeping his hands in the front pockets of his trousers.

“Aren’t you coming back to class?” B asks, pulling the face mask out of her blazer pocket and putting securing it over her nose and mouth. “There’s only a few more minutes, and then it’ll be our lunch break.”

Yeonjun shakes his head. “I never went to third period.” he admits. “You better get back to class and surrender your hall pass though. I’ll meet you at the gazebo for lunch.” he says.

B’s mouth drops open. “You skipped third period?” she exclaims. “Please promise me you won’t skip classes again, please?” she pouts.

He laughs, taking her hand and pulling her closer. “I promise. Except for when my father requests it, though. But this is the last non-business related time I skip class.” he says, kissing the back of her hand. “You better hurry back, the bell rings in about 10 minutes.”

“Oh my god, I am so dead!” she squeals, her eyes widen as starts to pull away, but Yeonjun’s grip on her wrist keeps her in place.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” he says pointedly, his brow raised.

“Oh.” she simply says, before standing on her tiptoes and using a finger to pull her mask down, giving him a quick peck on the lips before pulling the mask back up. “That?”

He laughs, shaking his head. “You are adorable. I meant this,” he says, planting the single blue rose in her free hand. “but thanks, Baby.”

She blushes beet red then, straightening out her blazer one last time and quickly saying “See you at lunch, Yeonjun!” before dashing out the door.

He uses the remaining 10 minutes of 3rd period to distract himself from his thoughts by cleaning up all the rose petals he had set up. He wasn’t expecting things to get so heated, he only wanted to ask her to be his girlfriend, but he had to admit that he was pleasantly surprised by the turn of events. Just thinking about how she had reacted to his touches and how adorably flustered she got made him smile to himself, but the memory of her wrapping her legs around his waist and tilting her head back sent his mind wandering into the very place he was trying to distract himself from in the first place.

He sighs, shaking his head as he forced his thoughts to go focus into another mindset instead. He checks his watch, the petals all put away in a garbage bag. As the lunch bell rings, he grabs his things and locks the student council room behind him, putting on a face mask before making his way to the gazebo where he would meet his friends and his girlfriend for lunch.

Now he just had to tell his friends about his girlfriend.

•°•

When B got back to her Biology class, the teacher fortunately didn’t seem to notice that she was gone for well over 5 minutes, but her friends definitely did. When she sat back down beside Ryujin and Yuna, they definitely noticed how long her absence was, and they took note of how flushed she looked, and of the blue rose that he had haphazardly tucked under her blazer.

“Spill it. Now.” the 2 girls eagerly say, eyeing her like a hawk.

“Yeonjun asked me to meet up with him at the student council room.” B whispers to them, making sure that they were the only ones within earshot.

“Ooh, a steamy secret rendezvous in the middle of class?” Ryujin says teasingly.

“No, it wasn’t like that.” B aggressively whispers back, well-aware of how her cheeks were heating up as she tries to push away thoughts of Yeonjun’s lips on her neck.

“So what was it like then?” Yuna asks innocently.

Unable to contain her smile, B says “He asked me to be his girlfriend. And I said yes.”

The 2 girls quietly squeal at the good news. “Wow! Congrats!” Ryujin says.

Yuna nods. “Wow, and just like that for the first time in 2 years, Choi Yeonjun has a girlfriend.”

“2 years? He hasn’t had a girlfriend in 2 years?” B asks, surprised. Since everyone kept mentioning Yeonjun having a record for being one of the biggest flirts on campus, she was expecting him to have a long list of complicated past relationships.

“Well, real serious girlfriends, yeah. He’s been on a few dates with some girls since then, but it never really went beyond that so I wouldn’t call them girlfriends. And if I’m not mistaken, she was his first girlfriend. His first love, actually.” Yuna says thoughtfully. “I don’t really know her since she was never a student here.”

“I did, sort of.” Ryujin pipes up. “Gyu told me all about the guys’ past relationships. He mentioned Yeonjun and Rose’s relationship a lot. He said she was…” she starts, trying to choose her words carefully. “well, a complete bitch.”

“Rose?” B says, the name completely foreign to her. “His first girlfriend? So he’s only had 1 other girlfriend before me? And she was a complete bitch?” she asks, her head spinning with information.

Ryuji nods. “Yeah, despite his track record and dating history, he’s only ever had 1 serious relationship, and that was with Rose.” she says. “Gyu said they were intense. It was one of those relationships that were just so, um, loud I guess?”

“Loud? What do you mean?” B asks, genuinely curious yet a bit afraid to find out the answer.

“Gyu said they were one of those couples who were always so in-your-face about their relationship. Yeonjun wasn’t active on social media back then, but she was, and she was flaunting her relationship all over, showing off all the stuff he’d spoil her with and everything. Not only that, but they were one of those couples that, when going through a fight, the whole world would know about. According to Gyu, their relationship was dramatic and fiery and intense and so damn toxic, but Yeonjun was head over heels for her, which annoyed the guys to no end.”

“That sounds kind of awful.” B says, unable to imagine Yeonjun in such a relationship. “Kind of weird that the guys didn’t seem so supportive, either?”

Ryujin shakes her head. “That’s not even the worst of it. Apparently, she cheated on him with another rich kid she met while she was on vacation or something. Gyu says he hasn’t hated anyone as much as he hated Rose.”

“Now that sounds really awful.” B said, the information overload swirling around in her head. She couldn’t even imagine how awful this girl must’ve been for even Beomgyu and his friends to hate her so much. Why had Yeonjun fallen in love with such an awful person? And how could he have stayed in such a toxic relationship? And how could anyone cheat on him?

“I can’t say for sure since I personally don’t know her, Gyu just showed me a few of her pictures before, but he made her sound like the devil incarnate.” Ryujin says.

“Well, devil incarnate or not, Yeonjun’s definitely taken his standards to a different level with you.” Yuna says a bit comfortingly, squeezing B’s arm, trying to move away from the unpleasant topic. “And the best part is, I’m pretty sure all his friends love you already, so you won’t have to worry about that either. You and Yeonjun are solid.”

“Thanks, Yuna.” B says, smiling in relief. Then, remembering what Kai had told her about wanting to ask Yuna out, B giggles to herself.

“What was that for?” Yuna asks, noticing the sudden giggle.

Just then, the lunch bell rings, and B stands up instantly, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Nothing. Just excited about my new relationship, I guess.” And about your soon-to-be relationship with my best friend. she thinks to herself, before greeting the girls goodbye and leaving the room.

Due to Kai’s absence, she had to walk to the gazebo alone, growing accustomed to having him pick her up outside her classroom so they could walk to the gazebo together. Now that she was left alone with her thoughts, she was starting to feel overwhelmed about everything that had happened that morning, from being back in school to her meet up with Yeonjun to officially being his girlfriend to learning about his ex. Even though she had learned a lot from Ryujin, she had to admit that her curiosity was still taking over her thoughts, which she knew would probably do no good for her new relationship.

Still, she couldn’t help but wonder about Yeonjun’s past relationship, and worry about how similar it had sounded to her relationship with her one and only ex boyfriend.

As she approaches the gazebo, she sees that Yeonjun and the rest of the guys were already there, sitting at their usual places. Without Kai, she wasn’t sure where she should sit. She usually sat beside Soobin cause that’s where Kai would usually sit before welcoming her into the group, but now she wasn’t sure.

Before she started to worry too much about where to sit, the boys spotted her approaching the gazebo and started waving at her. She smiles and waves back, stepping into the gazebo.

“There you are! Ah, it feels good to see your face around here again.” Beomgyu says, welcoming her in. “And just in time, too. Yeonjun says he has an important announcement that he’d like to make.”

“That we’d like to make, actually.” Yeonjun says, offering B a hand as she steps in, and she takes his hand shyly, letting him guide her into the small space.

“Oh?” Taehyun says, eyeing the 2 with a bad feeling in his gut. “What announcement?”

B takes a deep breath suddenly feeling shy and nervous, her eyes on the ground. She was starting to feel worried about how their friends might react, and guilty about not telling them about the whole thing in the first place. She had grown very fond of the boys and felt very comfortable around them, their closeness making her feel safe, as if she belonged. She was afraid that being Yeonjun’s girlfriend would change the way they see her or the way they treat her.

Sensing her nerves, Yeonjun squeezes her hand, urging her to look at him instead. He offers her a small smile, which she nervously returns. He nods at her before turning his attention to the 3 boys seated. “First thing’s first, I just wanna say that I’m sorry we didn’t tell you guys about this sooner. We just agreed that it would be best to keep it between us until we were sure about how things would go.”

“Whatever it is, we understand.” Soobin says with a smile on his face yet with a sinking feeling in his stomach, his mind buzzing at Yeonjun’s choice of words.

We.

Taehyun looks at his president with worry, a part of him dreading whatever Yeonjun would say next yet already sensing what was coming.

Yeonjun smiles brightly, his heart fluttering as he looks at the girl by his side before slinging an arm over her shoulders and pulling her to his side. “Baby and I are together.”

As the words leave Yeonjun’s mouth, Soobin’s gaze instantly falls on B, wanting to see if it was true or if it was some sort of weird prank that Yeonjun was pulling. When he sees her smile shyly, attempting to bury her face in the blue haired boy’s chest, his heart sinks.

“We’re officially a couple.” she confirms, her face getting redder by the second as she looks up at Yeonjun, who he could tell was grinning behind his face mask.

Soobin didn’t know what felt worse, the fact that his best friend and the girl he just realized he was falling for were now a couple, or the fact that now he was falling in love with his best friend’s girlfriend. Seeing them together now—her with her flushed cheeks and her tight grip on Yeonjun’s necktie and him with his arm dropping down from her shoulders to her waist, securing her by his side—made Soobin feel a bit sick. But what made him feel even sicker was the fact that seeing them together was making him feel sick in the first place. His best friend had finally found an amazing girl 2 years after his horrendous break up and was now dating said amazing girl. He wanted nothing more than to feel happy, but the fact that he didn’t made him feel terrible.

Before Soobin’s guilt starts to consume him, Beomgyu suddenly claps, sending a jolt through everyone in the gazebo. “Wow, congratulations B and YJ!” he says, approaching the couple and happily slapping the older boy on his back. “You 2 look great together.”

“Thanks, Gyu.” B says shyly, her blush visible even through her face mask, one hand fisting Yeonjun’s necktie as he kept her close to him.

“Don’t mention it, I’m happy that this guy has finally moved on.” Beomgyu says teasingly. “And that he was able to score someone way out of his league.” he says, wiggling his brows at the pair.

“Shut up, BG.” Yeonjun says, playfully shoving Beomgyu away before they share a quick high five “You’re right though, I don’t know how I got so lucky.” he says, using his free hand to caress her hair.

“Shut up, both of you.” she says, flustered. She looks at Taehyun and Soobin anxiously, holding her breath as she waited for their reactions. So far, the two boys had either been staring at her and Yeonjun or at each other.

Finally, Taehyun stands up, approaching the couple. “B.” he simply says, which causes her heart to sink a little.

“Tyunie?” she asks, nervously waiting to know his verdict. She and Taehyun had formed a sort of special bond over their walks together, and his opinion was the one that she worried about the most. She wanted to apologize on the spot for not telling him about it sooner, and explain everything about the past couple of weeks to him to make him understand why she had chosen to keep her relationship with Yeonjun a secret. She didn’t know why, but she wanted Taehyun’s approval.

He smiles at her then, and she feels the weight lifted off her chest. “Congratulations.” he finally says, stepping towards her and hugging her, which she wholeheartedly returned. She lets out a sigh as he rubs her back, her chin tucked into his shoulder, before he pulls away. “I just broke a health protocol for you.” he suddenly says, horrified. He instantly steps away then and starts to vigorously spray his hands, arms and neck with alcohol, which causes B to burst out laughing.

“You did it cause you looove me.” she says teasingly. “And thanks, Tyun.” she says, glad that he approved, though she made a mental note to tell him about all the details later on. She felt like she owed him that much.

It’s quiet for a moment as Yeonjun’s gaze lands on Soobin, the only one in the group who hadn’t shown any reaction towards the news as he had just been staring back and forth between him and B the whole time.

For Yeonjun, it was Soobin’s opinion he valued the most. Soobin was one of the few people in the world that Yeonjun would trust with his life. He was the only one among his friends who supported his relationship with Rose, valuing Yeonjun’s happiness above his own when he was clearly unhappy about the whole incident.

He was the one who was there for Yeonjun when everything came crashing down, the one who helped Yeonjun pick himself back up after being cheated on by his first love, the one who helped save Yeonjun from the nights when he would drown himself in alcohol in the hopes of numbing the heartache, the one who would sneak into Yeonjun’s house in the middle of the night to make sure he was asleep safe and sound in his bed rather than hooking up with random girls and picking fights with random guys at the bar, the one who would talk Yeonjun into giving his father a chance and reason with him that his father only wanted what was best for his son, the one who encouraged Yeonjun to join the dance club and the jazzed club and the student council, the one who begged the faculty and advisers to give Yeonjun a second chance at finishing school at MOA promising that he would keep his friend in check, the one who would do anything to make Yeonjun smile, and the one who would always tell Yeonjun the truth.

He stares at Soobin until Soobin’s eyes finally meet his and he stands up, making his way towards the blue haired boy. Once they stood face to face, there’s a moment of silence before Soobin’s face melts into a warm smile, his dimples peeking out from under his mask, his eyes crinkling at the corners, which instantly puts a smile on Yeonjun’s face as well.

Yeonjun pulls him into a hug, relieved. “Congratulations, Yeonjun.” the taller boy says, patting his back a couple of times before pulling away. “I’m so happy for you.” he says.

“Thanks, Binnie.” Yeonjun says, patting him on the back as well. “This means a lot to me.”

Soobin nods at him before turning to B, and before he can say or do anything, she throws her arms out to him and pulls him in for a hug, her tiny body feeling especially fragile as her arms squeezed around his waist.

He looks down at B then, finding her in his arms for the second time that day, in almost the exact same way. Again, he feels time stop the moment his arms wrap themselves around her body, only this time she had her arms around his waist as well. Her face was buried in his chest, the top of her head inches away from his chin, the smell of her lavender-scented shampoo taking over his senses, his hands resting on the curves of her waist.

Only now it felt completely different.

When he hugged her this morning, it felt like everything in the world was falling into place, the feeling hitting him so suddenly with such clarity, as if time seemed to stop as he was hit with the realization that he was falling in love.

As he hugged her now, it felt like everything in the world was falling apart, the horrible feeling hitting him as he felt his heart sink deeper and deeper, as if time seemed to stop as he was hit with the reality that she was Yeonjun’s, that what he felt for her was wrong, that he could never let his feelings for her go past what they were now, that he probably shouldn’t even be hugging her anymore.

“Thanks, Soobinie.” she says in response to how he had congratulated Yeonjun.

“No problem, B.” he says, lifting a hand up to gently stroke her hair, taking a deep breath and taking in her lavender scent, savoring the warmth of her body against his one last time, telling himself he’d never hug her like this for as long as he could handle it. As he lays his chin gently at the top of her head, his eyes meet Taehyun’s, who was standing behind her, staring at him with a sad look in his eyes.

Soobin squeezes his eyes shut, prolonging the hug for a moment longer, before finally pulling away, looking directly at her eyes. She was glowing, her face flushed yet radiant, her smile so big that it was visible under her mask, she looked so so happy that it made his heart ache, knowing that the next few words he’d speak out loud would kill him yet knowing that he meant every bit of it.

“I’m happy for you.”

•°•

Author’s note:

Hello, thank you for reading! I’m trying to get more familiar with Tumblr, so if you have any suggestions or comments don’t be afraid to drop them! (PS I’m not even sure how to reply to comments, that’s how bad I am at using Tumblr lol but I promise that all replies are highly appreciated!!) PS: Happy 1 year anniversary/birthday, MOA! <3 Also: STREAM DRAMA MV!

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phobiadeficient · 5 years ago

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Holy fuck i just read that ask by "hiatus13", the one with sniper pinning snipes to a wall, and holy fucken shit im in need of a second part, if u wanna of course. Jfc when i learn how to draw better, imma try and draw on of these shortfics cuz holy damn (of course if you'll let me and with full credit, totally okay if u dont want me to) ❤️❤️❤️❤️🐑

dude fuckin Bet. dude do it like Bet

(no warnings)

They ended up in Sniper’s camper since they were halfway there, and Scout found himself kneeling on a hard, thinly-carpeted floor, watching maybe too intently as Sniper muddled with his belt.

As an afterthought, Sniper reached over and grabbed a pillow and tossed it to the ground, and Scout situated it beneath his knees after a moment’s thought. Then Sniper’s pants were open and being shuffled down his legs, and the front of his shirt rucked up a bit, and Scout was finding out that apparently Sniper didn’t wear underwear even with his uniform which he found ridiculously attractive for reasons he couldn’t even totally articulate.

Sniper had himself in hand, working in idle pumps as Scout got a look at him. And, y’know, locker rooms and all, he’d caught glimpses of pretty much all of the guys by then, but it was way different looking at him straight on and when he was hard and looking right back at Scout.

“Never sucked a bloke off, then?” he asked, as if for clarification.

“Nah, no,” Scout replied, still eyeing him.

Sniper exhaled, halfway to a sigh. “Right. Just...” He thought for a second. “Just keep your teeth out of the way, use your tongue, and try not to choke yourself, awright?”

“Y-yeah, okay,” Scout said, and licked his lips, and leaned in.

Sniper moved his hand away and let Scout take over, taking it by the base and angling up towards his mouth.

And it wasn’t, like, rocket science, he’d gotten sucked off a few times before and knew what he liked and what worked, but he still hesitated for another second or two before he carefully, cautiously, leaned in to lick the head.

Sniper shifted as if relaxing, and Scout considered some stuff. First of all, the nightmare scenario was off the table, the taste wasn’t bad. And of course it wasn’t, Sniper was one of his cleaner teammates, but he was still relieved. Second of all, he wasn’t going to look like a total idiot, because up close like this he knew he’d actually be able to get this a pretty good way into his mouth.

But he pulled out a move he’d had done to him a few times before and warmed up into it, starting with licking and kinda-sloppy kissing, just kinda getting a feel for what he was doing. And he was apparently doing a pretty good job, because Sniper was relaxing further, and at one point made this gravelly kind of humming noise that made Scout feel real damn pleased with himself, a real ego boost that most people would probably argue he didn’t need.

But at the very least, it was enough to convince Scout to lean in that much further and take him into his mouth. And that got another hum, and Scout had to concentrate hard on keeping his teeth out of the way.

And he didn’t know what it was, maybe it was just like, the idea of what he was doing, but there was something about this that made him feel superheated, antsy, maybe even desperate, and he just kinda did what he was pretty sure was the thing he was supposed to do, slowly starting to bob his head, and when that almost immediately got monotonous he started to suck in counterpoint.

And he was like, 90% sure that every time he’d ever had this done to him, they were much less messy about it. He hoped the little noises weren’t too distracting. But it was either make sure he kept his teeth out of the way or not make a bunch of noise, he couldn’t focus on both. He was pretty sure he was doing at least an okay job, though, because Sniper was starting to make more of those raspy growly hums, maybe more like groans, and in his periphery he could see that Sniper was grabbing onto the sheets on either side of his hips pretty hard.

At some point Scout remembered some other stuff people would do to him—he cupped Sniper’s balls and rolled them in his hand, and that got a whole moan, and he tried to take him deeper into his mouth until he felt his gag reflex starting to argue about it, and then he felt Sniper’s hand on the back of his head down near his neck and—

And he realized, okay, maybe he could get into this. Or maybe he already was. Because he was starting to get pretty hard, actually. Like, distractingly hard.

And he dipped too far at one point and gagged outright, and pulled up to cough, his eyes watering, and fuck, okay, that was that lesson learned. And Sniper exhaled hard, his grip going a little tight, but rather than complaining he managed a throaty sort of “You awright?”

Scout waved him off, still coughing a little, and god his face had to be red, he felt like he was burning up. “I’m fine, just... fuck.” He cleared his throat hard, blinking a few times. “Sorry.”

“Getting off on this, then?” Sniper asked, and Scout glanced back up, and Sniper was looking down at Scout’s lap, and, okay, so he was caught. He flushed further. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, you know. It happens.”

“Yeah? What, happens when you’re blowin’ dudes too?” Scout asked, trying to look a little less flustered.

“Sometimes,” Sniper shrugged, and Scout started coughing again. “Don’t tell me you’re going to try and act like a prude when you’re currently on your bloody knees.”

“Just—just shut up,” Scout mumbled, and leaned in to set back to work with a vengeance. Sniper did indeed shut up.

Scout didn’t want to choke again, so he gripped around what all he couldn’t get in his mouth, trying to remember to pump and squeeze between bobbing his head and sucking. And Sniper’s hand migrated a little ways up his head to card into his hair, and it was all the easier to work Sniper up into where he was making actual noise.

“Close,” Sniper warned, voice a little breathless in a way that made Scout absolutely throb. “If you’re—gonna pull off—“

Scout didn’t, mostly because he was curious. And a few moments later Sniper swore hard, and then he had a mouthful of—

Okay, so every porn he’d ever seen was made by liars. The taste wasn’t good. He wasn’t gonna like, throw up, but definitely gross. He fumbled off to one side for the trash can and spat into it as quick as he could, twice for good measure.

“Not bad,” Sniper said, well out of breath. When Scout looked back over, he was settling his pants back into place. “Bit sloppy, but being new and all, I’ll give it a pass.”

“Hell yeah,” Scout said, unreasonably proud of himself, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand.

Sniper moved to pull him up to sit on his lap, and Scout went along with it with little hesitation. Then Sniper was popping his pants open and Scout was leaning in with greater enthusiasm.

“Sure seems like you enjoyed yourself,” Sniper teased, and Scout flushed. “See that being something you’d, er... want to learn more of?”

“Yeah!” Scout chirped, and then Sniper’s hand was in his pants, and he jolted a little. “F-fuck, uh, I mean y-you don’t have to do that you already kinda—got me off once—“

“What if I want to?” Sniper asked, raising an eyebrow at him, and Scout stuttered about that for a little longer until Sniper apparently got impatient and turned them to lay Scout down on the bed, pulling his pants out of the way enough to—

“Holyfuckingshit!” Scout yipped as Sniper bent down and swallowed down like half of him in one go, settling into a damn near expert rhythm within a few seconds, and fuck, okay, he already got Sniper off so it really shouldn’t matter but he was pretty sure if he came within a minute and a half of Sniper starting to suck him off he would literally have to go into witness protection he would be so embarrassed but on the other hand Sniper was sucking his dick and that was an idea so hot he could never even jack off about it.

So he curled his hands into fists on either side of his own head where he was gripping at the sheets and he squeezed his eyes shut hard and he choked down noises and he held out for as long as he could. And it felt like a marathon, like pushing a few extra miles at a dead sprint, the effort making him jittery and half-convinced he was going to pull a muscle somewhere, but he held out as long as he could force himself to before he finished, swearing a blue streak the whole way down.

His head was fuzzy and fizzy when he came back down to earth again, and his tongue felt heavy, and Sniper was lying beside him, smoking and blowing out the window on the exhale. And he was feeling so goddamn pleased with himself that he found himself vocalizing the first coherent sentence he could get his head around.

“Hey,” he said. “Maybe next time you walk me through what like, actual fucking is like.”

Sniper raised an eyebrow at him. “...It’d be you on bottom for the first time of that,” he said slowly.

“Think I’ll be a natural at that too?” Scout teased.

“...Maybe,” Sniper said, looking slightly more amused at his antics than before, and Scout relaxed, sank back down to try and get his brain together, and maybe eventually to get his pants back up.

#//sniperscout #//teasing

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