#im also thinking this is criminally low views i need and want to see more of this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

league-of-thots · 5 years ago

Text

Leave Me a Message

Pairing: Hawks x reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, some suggestive themes, um gl with this? im told by my beta it was very sad

Words: 9.4k

A/N: so um. this happened. First off, if you’d like to go break your heart some more, go check out the MASTERLIST because everyone worked super hard on these and there are some really amazing writers.

Og, this was supposed to be 3k, and then it just kept going and im suffering ok jesus that was so long. it was also kind of a way for me to get out some of my own inner turmoil around some stuff and i fucking loved writing it. ...not to be lame but yes i did cry writing it (shhh) anyways, i hope you enjoy? as much as you can enjoy angst of course.

Hawks doesn’t do commitment. He’d said that from the start, that he wasn’t out looking for someone to try and grab his heart from out his chest, that he was simply looking for someone to keep his body company. He told you that he was tired of the press making a big deal of him being single, that all you would have to is hang out with him a bit, dates and couple things. He said that he’d been missing some company, that it would be amazing to have someone to spend some of his (very little) time off of patrol with. It was simple to you, who wouldn’t take the opportunity to be on the arm of a successful pro hero? Who would turn down the chance to learn more about the elusive Hawks, the one who’d baffled the media’s attempts to discover anything about him at all?

You told yourself you weren’t going to make the mistake of getting attached, he was the number two hero after all, he had so much choice. There was no way you were going to be an idiot about it, this was only for some curiosity about the man.

You enter the bar, a little awestruck at how clean and upscale it was. Of course, it wasn’t too surprising given the fact that this was the number 2 pro hero. He was bound to have some cash to throw around for a good time, plus he’d already told you that he’d be paying for the night.

How could you refuse him?

The night started out slow, the two of you lightly discussing regular day to day topics, but it intrigued you how carefully he spoke about everything. You didn’t really know him but you could’ve sworn that he had a plan with everything that he said, that everything he did was carefully calculated. To be honest, it was a little chilling, but as the alcohol started flowing along with the conversation, he relaxed a bit and you had to admit that he was a really fun person to talk to.

The two of you had gotten closer in the circular booth as the night had gone on, blaming the loud surroundings and dim light so that you could see and hear each other better. He had this dry wit that left you struggling for breath as you laughed at his jokes and his teasing. He seemed to be enjoying himself too, but honestly, you couldn’t really read him at all.

It was getting into the wee hours in the morning when the conversation took a more serious turn, the conversation starting to be about what this was, and what this would be.

He was quite direct that he’d make it worth your while

“No offense, love, but if I’m being completely honest, I’m just not good at relationships. They’re not my thing. But I’m lonely and bored, and honestly? You caught my eye.” He’d said this in a low voice to you at the bar, his breath tickling your ear and you flutter your eyelashes up at him.

“Are you asking me for a night of fun, Mr. Hawks?” you say coyly.

“Maybe a night, maybe more if I like you.” He leans in to whisper to you, “You’ve got a pretty good chance babe.”

“You’re not worried about me not liking you?” you weren’t really taken aback; it was to be expected from the number two hero that if you came to meet him, you were interested in him for sure.

He leans back, with his hands behind him. “If I’m reading your body language right, and I’m pretty good at that y’know, then I’d say you’ve been pretty excited the whole night.”

You laugh a bit at that. “Well, you’re not wrong I guess.”

“Then I have nothing to worry about at all.”

Your arrangement with Hawks started as a few dates in more secluded public areas, the first being a movie which you’d taken a bus to get too. When you’d gotten there, you went inside like he had asked you too. There, you saw him in the furthest corner, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. It wasn’t working well and you had to stifle a giggle as you walked up to him.

The only reason that people didn’t seem to be coming up to him was the fact that the normally upbeat and friendly hero was closed off, and looking rather downtrodden.

“Hey, Hawks.” You say, bumping his shoulder with your own playfully. “How’re you doing.”

“Better now that you’re here,” he smoothly slips his arm into yours, face morphing into a slightly happier expression. “Would you happen to be a fan of popcorn and a drink at the movies, Y/N?”

“Of course! How can you have one without the other?” He smiles at that, a quick upturn of his lips and its quickly gone again as he guides you to the counter to get some snacks and drinks. It wasn’t supposed to be an incredibly exciting movie, but it was supposed to be decent enough that the two of you could enjoy it together and relax without really having to push through any awkward tension that could still be around with the two of you being relative strangers.

It was like a neutral ground to start off the fake relationship, while the two of you could learn about one another. It had to look real in public after all, Hawks wanted people off his back.

Although, the last night the two of you had spent together after the bar had certainly been real. It had also left you so sore you could barely walk the next day, but that was another story for another day.

The two of you sit down in one of the further rows, but not in the back. You have a good view of the screen; you notice as you sit down with Hawks. You look over to him, and see that carefully guarded neutral expression on his face again. It’s almost as if there’s a mask he has under the skin of his face, that snaps back into place whenever it falters for a little, or he actually shows something of his true thoughts.

It was almost eerie how well he did it, how second nature it seemed to him. No wonder the press couldn’t get shit on him, you thought, he’s not exactly an open book to read, and he’s actively trying to make it harder for people. You wondered if it was just because he preferred his privacy or if he had a really big secret that he felt he needed to keep.

That was almost amusing, thinking the reason Hawks was so mysterious is some large secret that there was pressure on him to keep.

The opening previews shook you out of your thoughts, seeing one for a book to movie adaptation that was coming out soon and you were super pumped to see. It had your favourite director working on it, and they said they’d worked closely with the author during the script writing process you and were really hopeful that it would turn out well.

You looked to Hawks to whisper this to him in excitement and he leans over so you could whisper it so as to not disturb the people around you. When you’re done, he turns to whisper back in your ear, “Guess we’ll be back at the movies soon then.” He watches your face become a bright smile, a little heat in your face from excitement and a little embarrassment as he was giving you his full attention as you fangirled a bit.

The movie was actually pretty decent, you thought during the middle of it. The acting carried the script though, and they were lucky at how much chemistry there was between the actors given most of them hadn’t done movies with each other before. A little way after that, Hawks leaned back in his chair, actually more relaxed than you’d ever seen him before, as he brought his arm back around you. You rolled your eyes at the little cliché he’d performed, but still found it sweet. You could feel the warmth he gave off and it made you feel comfortable and safe.

After the movie, the two of you parted ways, but not before he gave you a sweet kiss on the cheek, and the promise to see you soon.

“I’m going to be really busy the next few weeks, so it might be a little while before we can do something like this again.” He warned, “Things are really picking up with criminal activity and such.”

“If you were going to be so busy you should be at home resting,” you scold, and then your eyes widen in shock at what you’d just blurted out. “I, uh- I mean…” you try to recover but Hawks was laughing hard.

“Trying to get rid of me so soon? I thought the date was pretty fun, myself.” He teases, seeing what you’ll do next.

“It was! Just um-, you’ve got to be safe out there and stuff. So, you should get your rest, I would understand if you had to cancel because of that.” You finish a little lamely.

“That’s very sweet, Y/N, it really is. But honestly? Doing something like this is way more of a recharge for me. Makes me relax a little bit. So, thank you for the nice date. That is if you’ll have me?” he cocks an eyebrow with a crooked smile.

“Of course, now go get some sleep, bird brain.” He chuckles, and with a wave he’s off, streaking through the air. You’re hit with a bit of a gust of wind, but seeing him fly up close? Totally worth it.

You turn around and start walking to the bus stop that’ll take you back home, it had been quite a good date and you were in high spirits.

You could see this whole arrangement working out quite well for you, if that first date was anything to go by.

The fourth date was the one that he really started to show you what actually lay beneath the mask that he put on all the time. The two of you had been texting over a few weeks, and because he was so busy, a couple short get togethers happened, but this was the first time he had a whole day off for a long time.

The topics the two of you had been texting about varied to asking simple questions about what kind of tea was your favourite, to what you thought would happen to you after you died. That had been a weird night, but you saw the next day it had been because Hawks had been on patrol and had been unable to completely save people from a villain. It had been one person out of hundreds, but you could feel his guilt through the screen.

Among the lighter topics though, you found out that Hawks hadn’t really ever learned how to cook or bake. He said that he never learned from anyone, so he mostly did takeout and easy to make meals. You decided it would be fun to teach him how to bake, there were a few sweet treats that were easy enough to do. Certainly, he’d be able to handle it, you thought, especially since he made so many other difficult things look easy.

Hawks, in fact, could not handle it, you’d later find out.

The doorbell rings, and you take off your apron that you’d been wearing to get the baking started so that it wouldn’t take as long. There was still a fair amount of work to do, and the icing had to be made. You’re really hoping he enjoys it, it’s a new idea and you’re a little nervous.

You greet him and take his coat to hang it up as he takes off his shoes, he’s wearing cargo pants and unmatching socks, one pink and the other grey, along with a black t-shirt. You let him look around a bit before directing him to the kitchen a little nervously.

“Um, so I was thinking because you said you’d never really baked before that we could try and make a little something?” you’re fiddling with the hem of your shirt as he grabs your hands to stop you from doing that.

“That sounds like a really fun idea, Y/N. It’s really cute.” He gives you a quick smile as you smile at the praise. “Now. What are we making Chef?”

You giggle a bit at that. “I was thinking a carrot cake with some buttercream icing.”

“Well that doesn’t sound easy.” You shush him.

“It is! And I’ve already done some of it, so we can eat it sooner.”

He looks unconvinced. “I don’t know if I can handle this.”

“It’s baking,” you scoff. “You save people for a living, I’m pretty sure you can handle some baking.”

Famous last words, the start wasn’t to bad, Hawks fallowing your instructions carefully. It was when he got confident that he first fucked it up.

“So, now all you have to do is whip this with the blender for a few minutes around the bowl. When it starts getting a thicker consistency let me know, because that’s when you have to hand do it.” You’d decided on cinnamon rolls with a nice smooth icing on top that would become a glaze.

“Got it,” he chirps, putting the metal parts of the hand mixer in the bowl before starting it up and putting to medium high like you’d instructed him to do. “Maybe you were right, sweets, this isn’t too bad.”

“See? Even a bird brain like you can get it!” you laugh.

And then it happened.

After you said that to him, he turned around to give you a playful spank on the ass, forgetting he’d been holding the bowl on the counter in place with his hand. At the same time, he lifted the hand holding the mixer.

You both let out a sharp cry of surprise, you from getting slapped and both of you from the loud crash and the bowl goes flying and the icing gets flung everywhere. You look at him slack-jawed as he frantically turns off the hand mixer and gives you a sheepish look.

“Oops?” he says with a nervous smile.

“Oh. My god.” You get out before you start laughing so hard you’re keeled over, your stomach starting to hurt. “What the fuck Hawks? Hahah! How did you manage to get the bowl to fly that far!”

He scratches his hair and laughs along with you. “I’m actually really unsure, I honestly thought that I was going to get through this without messing it up. Sorry I ruined the icing, Y/N.”

You wave your hand. “It’s fine, cinnamon rolls are still good without the toppings.”

“Hold up.” You turn over and he has a calculating look on his face. “Is this why you did most of the mixing before I got here.”

“Noooooo…… of course not.” You say unconvincingly, knowing he already knows the answer.

“You’re so mean to me,” he pouts, sticking out his bottom lip like a child.

“Hey, but now we can still eat the cinnamon roles! So that’s a good thing.” You say brightly, swiping a bit of the icing with your finger and popping it in your mouth. He looks down at you and for once his eyes crinkle with a genuine smile and your heart skips a beat. He’s absolutely stunning, you think.

“Uh, let’s get – let’s get this all cleaned up, alright?” you get out turning yourself around to distract your thoughts from him. And his eyes, when they crinkle, and oh my god he’s such a cutie, what the fuck?

You somehow manage to avoid acting like a fool for the remainder of the time while the two of you clean up, trading words and jokes with one another, the conversation flowing like a lazy stream.

When they were done you squealed out in excitement and grabbed some mitts to take out the pan but as soon as you open the oven door, some feathers zip in to grab it. You look over at him and he gives you an innocent smile.

“Wouldn’t want you to accidentally drop them.” You scowl.

“I’m not the one who made a mess of the whole kitchen, you dork.”

“Fair enough, where do I put these?”

“Just put the tray on the pads in the dining room, I’m going to make some tea.”

“Alright.”

Once the water is heated, you grab a few different packets to see what he wants, and make your way over to the table with him. You gesture at the tea packets, and he takes the Camomile tea and you open the kettle to let him drop it in.

“Now we just have to wait for the tea to steep and the rolls to cool down! Not too bad if I do say so myself.” You tell him happily. It had been really fun watching him do something so carefree, he seemed more relaxed than normal.

“It was really fun Y/N.” he said with what you thought genuine sincerity. “I never got to really do this before, and it was a lot different than I thought it would be baking with someone.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it Hawks!”

“Uh, you could call me Takami? That’s my family name. Keigo Takami.” He says, stumbling over it a bit, as if the words were trying to rush themselves out of his mouth.

You pour out the tea into the cups you have, and you watch him dive into the rolls, face lit up. He really likes his sweets, and he says how good they are and how he was so amazed he’d had a part in making them.

“Most of the stuff I try to cook either tastes bland, gross, or its burnt.” He mentions offhandedly.

You look at him closely. “Seriously? I’m going to have to teach you how to cook so you can actually get some healthy food into you aren’t I?”

“You don’t have to do that!”

“Yes, I do.” He doesn’t argue with you, knowing that the battle is lost, and accepts it with a sigh.

The two of you finish the night by watching a movie, which leads to something, which leads to something else… It was a pretty awesome date night you think as you drift off to sleep.

Although doing ‘couple-like’ things in public, you found the two of you were growing closer as friends, at least, outside of any bedrooms. There was something free and liberating about being a friend (with benefits) to Keigo, and you got to glimpse the tiny parts of his life that had physical forms, whether it be photos, or actions or stories.

The more you learned though, the more you wanted to know more about him, to understand him and be there for him.

You saw how lonely he actually was, he really wasn’t joking when he’d said that to you on the first night the two of you had seen each other in person. How his life when he wasn’t being the Number Two Hero was empty as if he didn’t really know what to do with it, as if he were lost and didn’t really know himself either.

The only picture he had of people in his house was one with him, and a middle-aged woman with weary eyes that must’ve been his mother. The photo was a little yellowed, and a little crumpled, but the frame was simple wood with intricate carvings on the side. There was a wooden flower beside it.

What had happened to him? To his family?

Sometimes when you called him Keigo as you entered a room and he wasn’t facing you; he would shudder as if someone had a knife pressed to his throat, and there was nothing that he could do about it. Or when sometimes he would dose off and mumble in his sleep for someone to help him, he promises he’d do better next time… You always tried to wake him up gently when that happened, and he’d thank you and then shut down any attempts to talk about it. Every time. Not a single word.

So, you let it be.

Obviously, he didn’t know how to not be alone, and it stung you to the very core that nobody else was really there for him.

Everyone needs a friend, and you were happy to be that friend for him.

You realized the predicament you were in suddenly one day as you were going into your regular café for your morning coffee, ordering one for yourself and one for the winged hero who you planned to spend some time before patrol with. You didn’t even second guess ordering his coffee just as he liked it, excited to see the smile on his face when you’d give it to him. He’d still get surprised by the little gestures you’d do to show him that you cared, that it wasn’t just a game for you, that you were his friend.

You hadn’t realized how rare it was to get a genuine smile from him, but you were willing to do so much just to see it. Then it hit you. You wouldn’t go to these lengths for any friend, Keigo was special to you in a way that the other’s in your life weren’t. You think you know what that means, and it terrifies you.

You knew he didn’t do the whole relationship aspect, he’d said as much, and everything in his life had backed that up as well.

The barista has to call you a couple times for you to snap you out of your mild panicked thoughts, looking a little annoyed. You quickly apologize, shoving your feelings down and grabbing the coffees hastily as you make your way to the place where he’d be meeting you. You were going to be a couple minutes late, which always made you flustered, and on top of that you were freaking out about trying to keep those emotions you’d buried down there.

They were not going to see the light of day, you promised yourself that. Maybe you could cram them down so far deep that they’d disappear.

Ha. As if. You knew it wasn’t going to be that easy, but that was a later problem that you weren’t prepared to deal with right now.

When you get there, a smile does light up his face as he thanks you, relishing the coffee. The two of you start walking down the street, Hawks waving at people who yell at him, putting on that fake-smile-that-looks-real for people who ask him to join them in a picture, or sign something for them.

He did it all with patience, but through the cracks you could see the weariness dripping through. The way he put it was that he wanted to do as little work as possible. You assume that’s for this part of the hero business as well.

“Well, thank you for your support! I’ll be sure to do my best, don’t worry.” He says to a little boy, bending down and flicking his hat, which gets a smile and a giggle from the kid. “Thank you all for your support!” he says loudly as he stands up, and people cheer before easily making their way away from him, the dismissal clear.

The two of you sip your coffee as you walk down the street. You said you’d go for a quick walk around the city with him before he has to clock in for patrol. While you’re walking, he laces his fingers with yours.

“You don’t mind, do you?” he mutters under his breath. Your pulse is fluttering but you shake your head no and sip on your coffee. “Good, it’s getting chilly.”

After you drop him off you can’t help but look at your hand and smile, giggling to yourself a bit as you squeeze your hand. His hand had been so smooth compared to what you thought it would be like, but then again, he didn’t really fight with his fists and he wore gloves. It had felt so good though, the weight of his hand in yours.

After you noticed how you felt about Keigo though, it became harder and harder to try and ignore the feelings that seemed to bubble up whenever the two of you would talk or text or hang out. Little pangs of excitement would ring out against your will whenever the chime of the ringtone you’d set for him would sound.

You perk up a little as once again it alerts, going over to read what he sent you.

Keigo: gonna have to be away a little more in the next few weeks -_-

Y/N: aww why :(

Keigo: secret stuff shhhhhh. I gotta go check out some weird villain movement

Y/N: stay safe ok?

Keigo: don’t worry, they won’t catch me im too fast :P

Y/N: srsly if you die ill kill you >:(

You don’t hear from it at all in the next few weeks, and you didn’t realize how much the two of you had been in contact with, but your days felt strangely empty without the noise that he made so often.

You missed him, and more than that, you were worried about him so much. Since when did top heroes go on secret assignments? Wasn’t that stuff for the underground heroes to take care of? Why did he sound so calm about it?

The questions whirled around in your head, day in and day out. The couple of weeks pass in a daze for you, everything seeming out of wack in your life. Part of you was angry at yourself for being so distracted by him, and the other part was busy screaming all the worst-case scenarios that could happen to him. You have nightmares about him injured and bleeding, eyes lifeless. You check your phone at least a few times whenever you can, just seeing if maybe he’s sent a text to you.

You’ve sent him a few messages here and there, small things like “I hope you’re doing ok!”, or “I miss you”, or “I’m really hoping you’re safe.”

In the middle of the third week, you hear that chime and you jump up, excited. It’s a short message, but he must be exhausted from his mission, he was away for so long. He asked if you could go over to his apartment sometime soon. Said he needed to talk to you and stuff. His text was short and to the point, he seemed nervous about something.

Some of the worries had disappeared at the ringing noise came creeping back at that, but you responded that you would whenever you were both free. He said that he’d be off of work for a little while, which was concerning, so you were going over tomorrow. You settled in for a rough night.

What were you supposed to bring to someone’s house when they had been tossed into secret mission to track down some dangerous villains and were most likely injured? There wasn’t a handguide on that unfortunately, but you did know that he loved one of the soups you had made one time. So, you made some in the morning when you got up, put it in a container and on your way to his apartment for lunch.

Hopefully that would be acceptable, even though you knew Keigo didn’t really care that much about pomp and other gifts. You think he was grateful to have some company, he loved being on the move and sitting still for a long time would be a special type of hell.

So, you wanted to do something nice for him.

In all honesty, you didn’t think it would be that bad when he opened the door with a bruised and cut face, as well as an arm sling with his ribs all bandaged up.

“Oh my god!” you screamed, your free hands flying up to your face. “What the hell happened to you!” he shushes you and pulls you into the apartment.

“Not so loud! It’s not public!” he chastises you.

“Oh, right sorry. I’m just – Keigo, what happened to you? You disappear for almost three full weeks and you come back looking as if someone used you as a punching bag.”

“Surprisingly enough, that metaphor is rather accurate.” You feel your eyes bugging out of your head and he sees that. “Hey! Don’t worry, this isn’t the worse I’ve been beaten up- Oh god that’s probably not comforting.”

“No, it isn’t! Is there anything you can tell me?” you plead.

He shakes his head sadly, pretending to zip up his lips and lock them. “But I can tell you that I’ll be back to normal in about a week or so. I could also tell you about the people I met that weren’t y’know, villains. And you brought soup! You’re the best dove.” You blush a little at the new nickname, but you did notice that the nervousness he’d had when he’d been texting with was definitely still there and it put you off a little bit.

The two of you ate, the only sounds coming from eating, and the brief comments that Keigo was giving about where he’d been. You nodded in interest, interjecting every once and a while to ask a question for detail.

After the meal, the two of you sat down together in silence until Keigo cleared his throat.

“Can I talk to you about something more serious?” You nodded, here came what he’d been stressing about since last night. “God, ok this is harder than I thought for some reason.” He gives a dry chuckle. You stay silent. “Um, I think we’re going to have to take a break from the whole ‘side benefits’ we got going along, you okay with that, dove?” ah. So, this was it. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears. But at least you knew what, now you wanted to hear the why.

But Keigo was fickle, he didn’t like being backed into a corner. If you would’ve directly asked, you’d get no answer that would satisfy you. So you sit their with your heart falling out of your chest.

“I mean, if that’s what you want.” You say as neutrally as possible, trying to hide the hurt from your features. It didn’t work as well as you planned based on Keigo’s scowl.

“You’ve got to talk to me, what about that makes you upset?”

“It’s nothing, I’ll get over it. I knew this wouldn’t last forever.” You mutter, trying to shrug him off. At least this way you could get over him, maybe.

“I did say no guarantees at the beginning,” he frowns. It felt like he was rubbing it into your face, and it fucking stung like a cut being washed with rubbing alcohol. “I told you that I’m not good with this whole interpersonal thing.”

“Yeah, I fucking know that!” each word was like a sting, and your voice echoes in the empty apartment. “Can you at least tell me why.” You hate that your voice cracks on that last sentence.

“There’s this someone I’ve been talking too, when I was out there. A little rough around the edges, but really fucking amazing. I was trying to slip into their friend group you know? Turns out we felt the same way.”

You feel your heart drop out of your chest and into your stomach. “Wow, Keigo! That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you!” you hear yourself say. The words ring hollow, but he’s so wrapped up in his excitement that for once, he doesn’t notice.

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” he enthuses, impassioned. “It’s like a totally different wavelength you know.” His feathers were doing this cute little ruffling, and your heart ached. You had to keep your hand back from going to smooth them. Some nights, when the two of you were just hanging out and relaxing, he’d let you smooth them out. He said it felt good, and the texture always made you feel calm.

You needed some of that calm right now.

“I’m glad you found someone then.” And you really were, you knew how alone he was. You were happy he found someone he liked. You just wish it had been you.

You think it was some type of torture, watching Keigo fall in love with someone else. The way he’d talk with his eyes lighting up, the way that he’d do that thing where his feathers would ruffle when he’d think of them with a dopey smile on his face when he thinks you’re too occupied to pay attention to him.

It fucking killed you when it happens, although you made no effort to break away from him. You couldn’t. You knew that he needed you there, he’d said as much with his small actions, the way he thanked you every time you spent time with him.

You wondered what you had done to deserve this.

Eventually, it was too much for you too handle, when he’d started leaving the city more often to go visit them, you started making excuses for why you didn’t have as much time for him in the few weeks.

“Works really busy this week sorry.”

“Oh, I’m sick, and I wouldn’t want you to catch it”

“I’m sorry I’m really tired, I can’t hang out today.

You couldn’t get over him, and you couldn’t tell him either. It seems you could do nothing but ache while he prospered.

It was hard, making distance. You hadn’t realized how close the two of you had gotten, and you hadn’t realized that you had needed him as much as he needed you.

The phone rings and you see the caller.

Of course, it’s him. It seems no matter how you try to distance yourself you can’t really get away from him. It always seems like you’re in his wingspan. Always in his reach.

You pick up the phone, “Hey Keigo! What’s up.”

You were a fucking fool. Keigo might’ve been the one with the wings, but you’d flown too close to the sun that you’d wanted to see and learn about. The sun that you’d wanted to bask in the warmth in and claim as your own.

You’d forgotten one of the first things that he’d texted you.

It hurt so bad.

You were such an idiot.

At first when Keigo said he’d been dumped a few months later; you didn’t believe him. Who the fuck would tell Hawks that he wasn’t good enough for them?

“Ha-ha, very funny joke Keigo.” You say sarcastically. “Don’t stand there out in the rain, idiot.” You gesture for him to come inside.

He makes his way over the doorstep, eyes unfocused as if he hadn’t even noticed the fact that it was raining. He wordlessly hands you his phone, and you gasp at the text that he’d been sent.

They said he couldn’t be trusted, that they didn’t want to work to get him to open himself up, that even he wasn’t worth the amount of effort they’d need to use in order to actually get to know him.

“Still don’t believe me?” His voice cracks on the last word, as he takes a deep breath to compose himself.

“Fuck, Keigo. I’m so sorry. I didn’t- I’m so sorry.” You bring him in, sit him down and go grab him a towel with some old clothes one of your exes had left in your home when you’d broken up.

You hand it to him and tell him to shower if he wants to, but at least put some dry clothes on. He listlessly follows your instructions, and you’ve never seen him look so dull. It scared you. While he’s busy though – you vaguely hear your shower in the background get turned on – as you put some tea on. Chamomile, his first choice all those months ago. It was his comfort tea. You also slipped into your room to grab the softest blanket you had.

You waited about half an hour for him, so you turned on the gas fireplace in the room, warming yourself and staring into the flames as you waited.

Who would say something so terrible?

You’d never met his partner, Keigo was secretive at the best of times, but when it came to people, he was especially paranoid. You knew it was because he’d amassed enemies in his years as a pro, but sometimes it was frustrating to deal with.

However, they must have been truly awful to say something like that.

You wonder if they would’ve said that stuff if they’d seen the empty apartment, bare of most things that gave a house a character. The lone photo which looked to be at least a decade, maybe closer to two, years old.

You wonder if they had seen past the mask too, and if that had scared them. Or maybe they hadn’t even noticed it in the first place given the wording of the final text. You knew the pain Keigo was going through, you lived through it every. Single. Day.

You hated seeing it, but a small selfish part of you celebrated the fact that you had a chance again.

Pathetic.

You place your head in your hands, trying to clean your thoughts. You needed to be here for him again, and you were going to be.

When he walks into the room, he notices you and slumps down into the couch, his eyes red, and his jaw clenched.

But he wasn’t crying, and it didn’t look like he had either. The rest of his face would be messed up and red if that were the case.

“You can let it out, Keigo.” You put a hand on his arm and rubbed comforting circles into his back, trying to ease him through it. “You don’t have to keep everything bottled up inside.”

He laughs bitterly at that, and you’re taken aback. “Yeah, actually, I do. But I appreciate the sentiment.”

“Alright. Then we can just rest, and have some tea, maybe put on some calming music. Does that sound good to you?”

He nods, he can’t look up at you though. “Thanks, Y/N.”

“No problem, Keigo. Be right back.”

When you do come back, he’s just laying there, staring blankly in front of him. He looks lost and confused.

“Have you ever felt like this,” he asks in a soft voice. A surge of anger hits you, after all this time he still hasn’t noticed. But you push it down and clear your throat instead.

“Yeah. I’ve felt like that a lot in my life.”

“I’m sorry.” He states simply. “It’s awful.”

“Yeah,” you agree.

The rest of the night the two of you sit quietly, sipping tea and listening to music. At some point the two of you end up sleeping on one another.

The weeks pass, and Keigo starts to recover, as that starts to happen, the two of you start to slip back into your previous relationship. You know it’s a mistake, but you don’t stop it. You almost encourage it, because it feels good. It feels like he actually wants you and you can believe it for a few moments before it comes crashing down around you. You know you’re a rebound, even if Keigo himself doesn’t realize that’s what he’s doing.

So, there he is again, using you as a way to fill his life up to make up for the something he can’t have. Coping with his issues by having someone he could distract himself with, that he trusted and knew cared about his wellbeing.

You wish you could say you hated it. But then you’d be a liar.

Because you would take any of the time that he was willing to give to you. You were in deep, and you knew that, just wished you would have a way that you could stop it, rather than just going along for the ride, and hoping that he didn’t completely destroy your heart.

Although that possibility seemed to be more and more likely these days.

One day, you realize that you can’t do this anymore.

One day, you think that you’re not going to allow yourself to do this to yourself or him anymore.

One day you decide that you have to take a full step back. No half done measures this time, the next time he called, you weren’t answering, and you weren’t listening. Maybe taking a complete break from the winged hero would somehow allow you to get over your feelings for him. Maybe the separation would do you some good, you could try and meet some new people, hang out with older friends.

You have a plan, a way to bring it up to him, to say that you can’t do the whole song and dance with him anymore, you can’t play around because it’s messing with your head. You plan on telling him that you just need some space to rest and recover, and that you’ll be fine in a little while.

It doesn’t happen that way.

You’re in his apartment and you’re both eating some takeout, you’ve been on edge the entire night, and of course Keigo notices. He tries to tell you a few happy stories he’s seen that day, tries to give you space to relax. He leans in to kiss you and you panic.

You jump up and say “I have to leave!” in a really panicked voice.

“Woah hey, what the fuck’s going on?” He stands up, walking after you.

“I just, I had a way to tell you- and I’m not ready and fuck I wish I didn’t have to say this but I just can’t do it!” You’re rambling, you know that, but you can’t seem to get your thoughts together, they’re bouncing around your head, refusing to slow down so you can’t catch them, and you’re sitting there panicking.

“You need to talk to me,” he shouts, breaking you out of your daze.

“I can’t do this anymore!” you cry out, all the bottled pain spilling up and gushing out. You can’t stop it, and you keep going. “I fell for you in week three, Keigo. WEEK THREE of our arrangement. And guess what! I still fucking love you, you absolute moron! You didn’t notice SHIT, and I didn’t say anything because I knew you didn’t feel the same way, but I knew you needed someone. And sometimes I fucking wish I didn’t, that I spoke up for myself and said something sooner because it’s brought me nothing but heartbreak after heartbreak, and so much insecurity!”

He looks at you shocked. “Wait… you, but?”

You laugh, a little hysterically, all the emotions bubbling over. There’s a strange sense of relief. It’s all out in the open now. “Fucking tell the press! I finally found the way to make the Hawks absolutely speechless!”

“Wait, hold up, you need to slow down. I’m trying to understand what’s going on, and you aren’t exactly making this easier.” His eyes are wide, you’ve never seen him so completely and utterly lost. That was the final straw for you, and you start sobbing, tears streaming down your face as you try to keep your wails of pain inside.

You put yourself together in silence, his sharp eyes trained on you, you can feel it. Your sobs and sniffles grow less and less frequent as you gain control.

“I need space Keigo. I need to have space so I can get over you properly, and I couldn’t do it before, I thought I could! I just need to sort everything out, please.” You’re pleading with him, your voice drained and emotionless. “Just, don’t contact me please. Let me” You walk away before he can even answer, leaving him dumbfounded.

He grabs your arm before you reach the door, a little rougher than he usually is. “You don’t get to say all these things without even giving me a chance to respond!” His usually calm exterior is flustered, a little unhinged with panic and anger.

“I can! I told you how I feel! Nothing you say will be able to change how I feel right now Keigo! Nothing!” you feel your heart ripping to shreds as you see, for the first time in your one on one time in months, the mask returning as he looks it over too.

“Got it.” He says short and clipped off. “Thanks for just cutting me off like everyone else did. Get the fuck out of my apartment.”

You go, quietly, unable to look him in the eye. The door slams behind you, with an ominous thud.

The first time you gather up the courage to call him again to apologize, he doesn’t pick up. You expected that. You were hoping for that because you weren’t sure if you had the strength to say it to him.

You tell him you’re sorry. You tell him you know you made mistakes, that you knew you didn’t communicate right and you should’ve trusted him with that. You tell him you miss him because you do. He’d wormed his way into the cracks in your heart that he’d had a part in making.

You tell him you want to have a place in his life, and that he still has a place in yours, but you’re not ready yet.

You don’t know if he got it until he calls you back. He leaves a message for you this time as you were in the shower when it rang.

He tells you he understands now, even though it hurt like hell. He says he’s going to give you space, but would still leave you messages every once in a while. He says that of course you’re going to have a place in his life. He says that you’re the only person in a long time that had even bothered to get to see what was underneath his persona. He says that when you’re ready, to either call him back, or answer one of his calls.

So that’s how it happens. On some good days and some bad days, Keigo calls you. You listen to every single one, multiple times. Your feelings don’t die down though. You don’t know what else you can do but wait. The sad messages tear at your heart, but you know you can’t be there for him right now properly.

One of them you can’t help but hear and think that you need to call him, need to reach out to him. He’d sounded desperate in a way you hadn’t heard from him before and it chilled you down to the bone.

But you don’t. You’re too scared of what you’ll do or say.

On one of the days where you can’t sleep, you sit and stare at your ceiling, thinking about nothing much. Idle thoughts about the project you were working on, what you had to stock up on the next time you went shopping, the puzzle that you’d gotten stuck on in the current level of your video game.

That’s when the ringing broke out on your bedside table. That ringtone. You still loved him, and he never called this late. You picked up the phone.

“It’s two am, I know that, but I need you Y/N…”

“Hawks? What’s going on. Are you ok?”

He laughs loudly, “Fuck, no. Can I come over?” He almost manages to hide the waver in his voice.

You sigh, putting a hand to your temple. “I’m sorry, but you can’t come to me anymore, you know that.” You say it softly.

“You picked up.”

“I did.”

“You still love me.”

“Goddamn it Keigo, yes! Is that what you really wanted to hear right now at two in the morning?”

His tone switches to serious. “No. That’s not it at all. Please. It’s important.”

“I could just hang up.”

“You won’t.”

You let out a stream of curses that would make a sailor blush.

“Fine.” You give in with a groan and the starting of a stress headache. “I’m leaving the door unlocked for 10 minutes. That’s all you have.”

“That’s way more than I need.” You hear the click of the receiver tone and you move your ass out of bed, going to go unlock the door. There you wait in your pjs, your arms crossed glaring at the door and daring it to open.

Before the 10 minutes is up, it defies you and clicks open, and in he comes.

“Hey.” He just looks at you, and he looks exhausted. “Thanks for listening.”

You resist the urge to just run up to him and take him into your arms. He’d feel so good to cuddle. Instead you say in a wary voice; “What do you want Keigo, it’s late and I’m tired.”

“I know,” he whispers. “I am too, but.” He swallows hard. “I needed to see you before. Before everything gets fucked up.”

“What the hell are you talking about? And close the door it’s cold outside.” He follows your instructions without complaint and quietly.

“You’re going to want to be sitting down for this,” he warns.

You can see he’s not playing around, so you heed him and sit on the couch, and he sits on the chair, dragging it over so he’s opposite you.

“First off. An explanation of what I mean.” You gesture at him to carry on. “Remember those villains I had to check up on? Well, they were actually mobilizing an attack on the Hero Commission HQ which is in the city.”

“No way, seriously?” you can’t believe that they would get that bold so soon. It was insane, and yet, you believed it.

“Well yeah. I came by to warn you, because there’s going to be so much chaos, and in that chaos, it’s more likely for you to either die or get hurt.” Your hands found their way to your hair, brushing through it nervously. “Hey, hey, listen Y/N” he goes to hold your shoulder’s and looks you in the eye. “The heroes have been preparing for a few months now, taking out some of the villains they can. Everyone’s going to have a much better chance of survival. But staying inside and not opening to door for anyone? That’s going to keep you safest. Understand?” You nod.

Something niggled at the back of your mind though. “You said first thing.”

“Yeah…”

“Well? Are you going to tell me?”

“You’re going to slap me.”

“Well that’s not a fucking good sign.”

He rubs the back of his neck. “Well, I figured out why you’d shocked me so much with what you’d said. When we went our separate ways for a little while.”

You felt your stomach sink. This couldn’t be good, why did he have to bring that up now. “Yeah?”

“I didn’t trust my partner with anything that I’d shown you. You were the only person I’ve opened up too since… well a long time let’s put it like that. I haven’t really actually let myself feel things for a while, so I misunderstood them. I thought they were hot; I liked the look and the way they talked. I wasn’t falling love with them. I was in love with you the whole time and I didn’t realize it.” You felt like your heart stopped beating.

“Keigo?”

“Yes?”

“You didn’t think to actually say that in one of your fucking messages?”

“I didn’t think you were ready to hear it.”

“I mean maybe not, but it would’ve saved a lot of headache!”

“I’m sorry.” He says, “I’m learning, but I’m trying my best if you’ll take me?”

“Of course, I will you stupid bird. It’s going to take work, but I know where I went wrong.”

“Me too. I believe in us. Heh, us. I like the sound of that.” He has a goofy smile on his face.

“Oh my god you’re such a dork.” You lean up to press a light kiss on his lips, which he eagerly responds too. “You look exhausted though. Let’s get you into bed, so you can protect the city hero.”

“Sounds amazing to me.” He follows you into the room, stripping down and snuggling you.

“I’m likely going to be gone by the time you wake up, y’know?”

You sigh. “You better not die on me or I’ll kill you.”

“For you? I’ll stay as safe as possible.”

“Good.”

The next day, everything was in chaos, just like Keigo had said it would be. You didn’t even need to leave your house to know that. You saw it on your phone screen as you stayed hidden in your closet, to terrified to move or do anything else. A couple buildings had fallen near you, but luckily your building had stayed safe.

You don’t remember much else about that day. Fear. Praying that the people you cared about would be safe. Darkness. The sounds of massive explosions and destruction.

Terrible.

There were massive body counts of all different people, with varying quirks, lives, beliefs and goals. The damage was catastrophic. You almost couldn’t believe that it had been better than what would’ve happened if there wasn’t early intel and missions.

You noticed though, that everyone was treated the same in death. Hero, civilian, villain, vigilante, all of them were buried properly, paid for by the Commission themselves. Some of the villains had escaped, there were lots more dead hero students than people wanted to admit, and everyone was more beaten down and broken than before.

But…

Nobody had seen or heard anything about Hawks though. It was as if he’d simply vanished into thin air, and the only thing that kept you sane? They hadn’t found his body.

What about that cremation guy? The traitorous voice in your head spoke out. You told it to fuck off.

Hawks, Keigo, was not dead. He couldn’t be. You’d finally reached an understanding!

You refused to allow the possibility in your mind.

It was a week later when you finally got some news. There was a call from the hospital, and you immediately, you picked up.

“Is this Y/N Y/LN?”

“Yes,” you practically shout. “Yes, I am.” You say a bit softer.

“I’m calling about a Keigo Takami? Do you know this man?”

“Yes, yes, I do, please is he alive?” you can’t keep the desperation from your voice.

There’s a pause. “…Yes. He is alive. They’re trying to test to see what the extent of the damage is. You were the only other person other than his mother to be on his emergency contact list, yet you have no relation to him, were you aware of this?”

“Yes,” the lie comes easily, despite the surprise bubbling up.

He gives you the address and you promise to be there as soon as you can. You can deal with this, you think, he’s alive and so the two of you can work on it and fix it together like you’d planned.

Except you couldn’t.

Little to no brain function, they said. Halfway done the process to become a host body for a new nomu, they said. How were you supposed to fix everything together if Keigo was right there, but also completely gone?

You collapsed into the chair beside his bed, looking over at him. The man you’d loved for over half a year. The doctors went silent, all of them leaving except for one, who stood silently. You reached out and held his hand in yours. Still softer and smoother than what a pro hero’s hand should be like. Still warm, like the first time you’d held it. You could even feel his pulse.

It was almost funny; you were finished before the two of you even got started. You couldn’t even say that the two of you had ever truly been together, but that’s what made it hurt more, you think. Nobody would believe you, a random nobody? Dating the number two pro hero? Yeah what an attention whore.

You sat there, tears building in your eyes, and spilling out

“Keigo, please just give me one more message?” you whisper, crying harder now. “I’ll be waiting for it, so you better call me when you’re ready, because I’ll be waiting for you.”

#bnha x reader #hawks x reader #jays writes #angst #sfw

721 notes · View notes

stormyoceansmain · 3 years ago

Note

yeah, honestly both the end of 2x12 and all of 2x13 works for needing to be prepared tbh. like they're both hard to watch. the actor who played charles (derek webster) got cast in another show and they decided to do this instead of trying to come up with another reason for him having to be away. this is where the whole 'not liking to write non-first-responder-type characters' thing comes in -- tim thinks that they're boring and don't have much to do basically. he also loves creating drama when relationships are at their happiest bc he doesn't think anyone wants to see them just... being happy lol. he said that this was basically opening it up for 2x13 to be Gina's Episode -- and it is, she absolutely kills it... i just think they could have kept him alive and come up with something and had the option for him to come back in the future and it would have been just as good. i will say that there's a good team scene at the end of 2x13 that i think you'll appreciate, and then the finale has some excellent mateo content to look forward to. i do honestly hope they're planning on lightening things up a bit in s3 bc s2 really just feels like hit after hit after hit to me :/

im glad charles' actor scored a bigger role in another show because he deserves it and was criminally underused in lone star anyway, but god this is like shannon all over again

i just.. idk, i find death as such a cheap way to make a character exit a show, because unlike in real life, when a character dies in a show or a movie (even if it's a secondary one) i fucking expect it to have a good reason behind it, at least on a narrative point of view. like tim's death, for example, it still upsets me, but i can find an explanation in the story for it: it was necessary so that nancy could start to become and feel like a part of the team, which is something that i don't think would have carried the same emotional weight if tim just got transferred to another firehouse.. but i feel like charles really didn't have to die, they could have just found a reason to send him away

and this is even more annoying in lone star to me, because like.. the show doesn't have as many characters as the og, they could literally have taken 5 minutes out of rob lowe's screentime, to give charles a decent storyline and a good enough reason to leave (since i doubt that the actor told them he got another job the day before shooting his last episode..)

honestly i don't mind the show taking a more serious turn or having emotionally heavy episodes (like season 3 of the og is my favorite and THERE i really felt like i was constantly being hit by a train every other episode..), i just want writers to stop using death just for shock purposes and because they don't know what else to do

#..okay sorry i feel like im being.... possibly just a tiny bit excessively aggressive about this matter..#ANYWAY #thank you for letting me know about this!!!!#and thanks to everyone else who also told me about the reason behind charles' death too!!!!#monica watches lone star

8 notes · View notes

mileycyprus-hill · 5 years ago

Text

Chpt 1, Chpt 2, Chpt 3, Chpt 4, Chpt 5

Also can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22218607/chapters/58951003

Thank you to @oodanijadeoo for beta-reading this chapter and giving such great, constructive feedback!

Chapter 6

You leave the apartment above Dr. Birner’s office with reluctance, thinking back to that brief period you were recuperating. You were in a peaceful limbo. No worries, no anxious thoughts of the future. For one week, you lied there with your infant son, living in the moment. You basked in his cherubic glory and thought of nothing else. For all you knew, there was nothing beyond those four walls. Just you and Isaiah.

And it was perfect.

You remember feeling Arthur’s eyes on you. He’d visit once a day at the apartment and spend a few nights on the floor of your room, despite your small protests. While holding Isaiah in his arms after his feeding, you’d catch that particular look Arthur gave you. It was a look of uncertainty; a question begging to be asked.

That question tortures you both.

He didn’t want to ask it and you didn’t want to hear it, but you both knew it had to be said.

Now, you finally have the strength to walk and ride in the jostling wagon without pain. The reality of your situation soon returns as you lie in the wagon. Leaning back on the mattress that comfortably lines the bed of the wagon, you look over to Susan who sits by your side. She holds your infant son in the swaddle of a soft wool blanket, gently caressing his cheek with her index finger.

It’s not often you get to see Susan grow soft like this. Her life has been ridden hard and rough and it often shows in her moods. One can hardly blame her. She’s proven she’s come out of it stronger and more alive than any other woman on earth.

You envy her strength.

Swaying with the rolling wagon wheels on the trail, you replay the conversations in your head: Dutch, Arthur, Dr. Birner. All of them asking for a decision. All of them telling you what’s best.

Can any decision be the right decision? You wonder.

.…

Arthur has become an enigma to you in these passing days, you realize. He often gives Isaiah attention and offers help whenever he can. But something deep down inside you gives you this cynical notion that he’s saving himself up. That he’s only doing these things and acting paternal to get you to trust him.

He’s going to have to play his cards soon, and he needs an ace.

You try to shake these thoughts away, but they soon return whenever Dutch checks on you both on numerous occasions.

“Has a decision been made between you two?” He would ask.

His check-ins are a now weekly occurrence. So often that you now avoid crossing his path so he won’t have a chance to bring it up.

You hope you could reply ‘no’ long enough that he’d soon give up. You’re too fearful to say what you truly want. And you know Dutch is not one to forget or give up.

But you truly hope this time he would.

However, you forget the one person Dutch could still corner and persuade to change this whole situation.

Arthur.

…

It’s three months to the day of Isaiah’s birth and you worry if you can finally breathe. You hope to continue with the routine of a child in the gang now that it’s been long enough; allow the members of the gang to grow attached. Little Isaiah grows stronger and more lovable each day. Even John has taken a liking to him. He approaches you and Isaiah sitting underneath a shady lean-to. You sit cross-legged on the blanket while supporting Isaiah in your hands. His little back lays on your forearms, with his soft head resting in your palms. The ruffled hem of his crisp, white baby gown cascades down your arm. The sun was so warm before you retreated to the shade. Through the light cotton, you can still feel a little sweat on his back from the desert heat.

“Can I hold him?” John asks meekly. He slowly drops to his knees before you and watches Isaiah curiously.

Looking up at John, you reply, “Sure. Make sure to support his neck, and watch his head.”

You adjust your baby in your arms and carefully transfer him to John, who fearfully holds him like holding a wounded animal. John keeps an elbow awkwardly high to support Isaiah’s head and you hold back a chuckle at the sight of him. The corner of his lip upturns into a nervous smile.

He catches you grinning at him and his face turns sour.

“What’s so funny?” He asks defensively.

You reply genuinely, “Nothing. Just…you look cute together.”

You watch as Isaiah babbles and attempts to grab at the strange young man holding him. His chubby legs kick and kick with such energy and excitement of seeing a new person.

John scoffs at your remark and opens his mouth to retort. Though he’s quickly distracted by Isaiah wiggling in his arms and he grows nervous at keeping him still.

“Uhhh,” John groans uncomfortably. “I think..oh shit, I’m gonna drop him.”

You giggle and quickly relieve John of his anxiety, fluidly scooping Isaiah from his stiff arms into yours. Isaiah babbles and squeals in your arms, testing his voice with his high pitches. The soothing rocking of your arms and the heat of the air settles his excitement and he soon grows weary.

For several minutes, you and John watch his eyelids slowly fall and rise every couple of seconds as he jerks himself awake, kicking a leg and trying his hardest not to sleep. He’d attempt this a few times until he could no longer fight it. The warmth and comfort of your body allows him to relax and finally sleep in your arms.

John sits cross-legged in front of you in silence, watching Isaiah fall into a deep sleep. He watches his little stubby fingers attempt to grip at your forearm tightly before relaxing. Moving his gaze up to your face, John notices your smile is gone and replaced with a forlorn look.

He asks quietly, “What’s wrong?”

The heavy weight of guilt grows in your chest and you lift your head with glassy eyes. As you break your attention away from Isaiah to John, your chin quivers and a rogue tear slides down your cheek. With a shaky breath, you answer.

“I’m afraid,” You say with a cracked voice. “I thought everything would be better once he’d be born but, I feel trapped.”

John looks to you with understanding. For the past few months, he’s watched you and Arthur struggle against each other. He had secretly grown proud of how strong you kept yourself under Arthur and Dutch’s pressure. He knows Arthur’s only reciting what Dutch tells him, never thinking for himself and that aggravates John. He thinks himself far younger than Arthur and yet so much more headstrong and independent. John had been watching you struggle with your options in silence and he worries you’ll choose one you’ll regret.

This is his opportunity to tell you what he thinks.

He attempts to console you, speaking quietly and honestly.

“Everyone loves him, (Y/N). I can see that.” He says.

Another tear escapes your eye, painting your cheek.

“It don’t seem to matter how much everyone loves him,” you croak. “What matters is what Dutch thinks and what kind of life he should have.”

“But your life’s been better since you joined. And mine. And Arthur’s!” John exclaims in a hush. “Don’t you think? What makes ‘im think we can’t give him the best life with us?”

John points to Isaiah who remains unstirred in your arms.

“Because we’re criminals, John.” You say with dread, letting Dutch’s repeated lectures finally sink in.

“And who’s to say I won’t resent him later on? Treat him like my parents did me?”

Those last words tear into your heart like a jagged blade. Who’s to say you won’t inherit your parents awful temperament towards your child? Will you truly love him as he grows, or will you see him as just a mistake that took your freedom away?

John’s words grow heated in response to your self deprecation.

“Cause you’re not them, (Y/N),” he hisses through his teeth in frustration, “You’re better than them. I know you love Isaiah. Because if you didn’t, you’d leave him the first chance you get.”

He speaks bitterly in remembrance of his own childhood. The grief from loss and abandonment is all too familiar to him. He stares at Isaiah with his dark eyes glowing in a mix of resentment and woe. He knows from experience that little Isaiah is too fragile to live and grow without the love of a mother. Or a father.

“Just promise me one thing, will ya?” He asks, his own voice cracked and quiet.

Staying silent, you look into his eyes and nod.

“Don’t send him to an orphanage…please. Find him a family. A good one.” He confides solemnly. His head droops low and he lightly fumbles with the tip of his boot.

“Of course, John…” You assure him.

With his head still held low, John reaches forward and grasps at Isaiah’s hand. He holds the tiny hand in between his thumb and index finger, rubbing at the top of Isaiah’s hand with his thumb. Isaiah remains asleep while he curls his little fingers over John’s finger, holding onto him tightly.

“I promise.” You whimper through quiet tears.

…

The sun is dropping from its high noon perch and its heat begins to cool into the late afternoon. You stand by the food wagon, behind the work table with a variety of vegetables laid before you. Carrots and parsnips in orange, purple and white and fresh, crisp celery lay in bright contrast against the dark and scratched wooden table.

Your heart remains sunken from your gloomy exchange with John, and the mundane task of prepping supper has left your mind open to racing thoughts of what-if’s and should-I’s.

You barely hear the familiar footsteps belonging to the one who shares those thoughts with you. Both of your minds are unknowingly linked with troubled ruminations. The heavy strides step forward to you while your head remains low and your eyes focused on the rations before you. The tip of his boots come into view at the corner of your eyes, but you don’t react.

“(Y/N),” Arthur greets with hesitation, “We need to talk.”

“About what?” You ask, sensing his mood and growing on edge.

You already know what he wants to talk about, but you want to hear him say it. You want him to reflect on the terrible request before speaking.

Arthur fidgets with a carrot on the wooden table, rolling it back and forth on the un-level surface with his dirty hands. The speed of the rolls grow with your mutual irritance. He feels the tips of his ears flushing red. This decision hurts him too, but he hopes to make it quick before it can get worse. Never has he made such a paramount decision like this. The life he was thrust into at a young age taught him to react, to not waste time with decisions of morality, only survival.

In the past several years, he often left these choices to Dutch, because the man would take it upon himself to do so. This was something that Arthur had grown used to. Something he trusted.

Leave it to me, son. I’ll think of something. Dutch’s words echo in Arthur’s ears.

But how can Arthur tell you? Standing before him with a knife in your hands, how can he tell you that while he doesn’t like it either, it’s actually for the best?

The knife in your hand hits against the cutting board a little harder with each slice.

Watching you carefully, Arthur speaks, “I wanna talk about us.”

You involuntarily crease your eyebrows in confusion, your eyes squinting and still focusing on the vegetables. The smell of boiling beef stock in the pot next to you would’ve made you sick just a few months ago before Isaiah was born, but you’re too irritated to care now.

Neither of you wanted to cross this road again. But there’s only so many detours you can take before you reach the fork again.

Your voice slices into him like the knife through the carrot, which you snatch from his light grip.

“What makes you think there’s an ‘us’?” You say bitterly. Your tone is a little more than a hurried breath, but is loud in your heart.

Ignoring your bite, Arthur rests his hands on the table and leans his weight forward on them. He drops his chin low, watching your hands work quickly in repetitive movements.

“I wanna know what your plan is. For Isaiah.” He says.

The knife stops in your hand and your grip tightens against the handle.

“It’s too early, Arthur. He’s only three months old yet.” You say, steadying the frightened tremble in your voice.

He leans himself further over the table, bringing his face closer to yours but you keep your gaze low to the chopped vegetables, only feeling his breath on your forehead as he speaks.

“I know, but when? The longer we wait, the harder it’s gonna be.” Arthur speaks in a distinct whisper, meant for your ears only and no other.

If your thoughts hadn’t been racing, you could’ve detected the fear and reluctance in his voice as he spoke. You could’ve noticed the tremors in his hands and fingers, left empty to tremble in fear without an item to fidget with. You could’ve seen the tension in his broad shoulders growing stiff at the emotional weight that bears down on them.

“I don’t know when, Arthur.” You spit, “I can’t think with everyone breathing down my neck like this.”

“But you ain’t alone—“

“Oh, I ain’t?” You finally draw your gaze to him and stare into his eyes with a painful glare. “I don’t think you understand. You may be his father but, in the end it’s my decision to make. Not anyone else’s, regardless of what they think.”

“Just lemme help,” Arthur pleads.

“I think you’ve done enough,” you reply bitterly, “You’re a father now, Arthur. Start actin’ like one.”

Your words flood his ears and leave an awful dry pit in the back of his throat. He remains silent, allowing your statement to pierce him and the venom to fill his veins. It makes its way to his heart, filling it in each painful contraction.

You finish your harsh words, “Now leave me alone.”

Arthur complies and turns away. He takes his first step to leave before stopping himself.

With a slight pivot of his head, he utters, “Y’know, you keep this up and soon you will be alone with no one else to blame but yerself.”

…

Three weeks pass and you refuse to start the conversation again, despite Arthur’s pressing. Deep down you wonder, is it selfish of you to want to keep Isaiah? To keep Arthur tied to you this way?

You would never try to keep Arthur leashed to camp like a dog; to hold him hostage in a false sense of domesticity. You’re more than willing to raise this child on your own. Even if Arthur had this sudden change of heart and wanted to be rid of his mistake. You at least, are mature enough to step up to the plate, you tell yourself.

It’s been a few days since you’ve seen Arthur and John. They had been sent by Hosea to follow a tip about a train carrying payroll for a silver mine. After your argument with Arthur, you found yourself distancing from him again. Which you hated and it caused you much pain, but you forced yourself to; to avoid hurting Arthur again with such unkind words.

Laying Isaiah down to bed in your tent, you step out to walk across camp, towards Hosea’s tent. You see him sitting in his chair in front of his large tent, reading a book like always. An oil lamp sits beside him on a small table, cascading him in a soft, golden glow. Your thoughts remained troubled lately, and you hope Hosea would preach some wise words to calm your worries.

You hear hushed voices from behind one of the supply wagons and slow your pace, eyes slowly peering to the covered wagon. You stop with your feet planted when you recognize them.

“She’s still nursing, Dutch.” A voice whispers. Miss Grimshaw. “It’s too early to separate them.” She says. You detect apprehension in her tone.

“I know that Susan. But think about this. We’re getting too comfortable here and the law is startin’ to notice. We’ve got to move now, and we can’t travel with a baby. It’s too dangerous.” A deep, authoritative voice persuades.

Dutch.

He continues, “She needs to think about that. We need to think about the rest of the gang. We can’t afford any distractions.”

“But—“

“No. Exceptions cannot be afforded now. This is the safest option…for everyone.”

“And Arthur?”

A pause lingers.

“He’ll understand.”

Stepping swiftly and quietly, you turn to retreat to your tent. Closing the flaps of the entrance, you sob quietly into your hands. A few short cries are muffled by your palms. Your heart hammers in your chest and its beats roar loudly in your ears. After a moment, you release yourself with a deep, shaky breath.

We’re leaving? No, no, no, no. Not now. Not right now.

This can’t be happening.

Your cot gently creaks as you lie on your side and watch Isaiah. He sleeps soundly and unstirred in the little bassinet next to you. Earlier this week, you were persuaded by Hosea to have your tent moved closer to Arthur’s instead of near the perimeter, away from everyone else. Even though you were oblivious, Hosea could see the wanting in Arthur’s eyes as he watched you and Isaiah together. Arthur wants to help. He truly does. Unfortunately, you were blind to it.

“Closer to his father,” Hosea’s words repeat in your thoughts. “Make him get up with you when Isaiah wakes in the middle of the night. Don’t think you gotta do this all by yourself.”

A swirl of voices and past conversations enter and exit your anxious mind. You try so hard to silence them, but they break through the door of your conscience and demand to be heard.

Before long, the demanding voices exhaust you and you fall into a troubled sleep.

You’re walking along a red sand beach. The grains of sand give under your weight and hold onto the shapes of your feet and toes. The tide is low and the dry beach stretches out for miles towards the horizon. The cold white caps of the sea lap gently in the distance. The sky is bleak and gray, and the cold air bites at your exposed skin. You move to draw your shawl closer, but find you’re wearing only a thin, white nightgown made of silk. You find yourself standing alone in the middle of the dry ocean bed, the growing tide laps at your feet. Looking down at your bare feet in the sand, you see your pregnant belly. It’s so large, you can barely see your toes.

A voice calls behind you. It sounds so far away and distorted, you can barely make it out. You want to turn to see who’s calling, but you’re stuck facing the horizon.

Your body feels like it’s stuck in a vat of molasses. Every movement of your muscles is slowed and you’re snapped back to your original stance when you try to break its grip. The unidentifiable hold on you is forcing you to watch the growing tide as the water rises higher and higher. The voice behind you grows louder and louder, its call becoming clearer. It’s a familiar voice shouting your name, and it begs you to return to shore. You desperately want to run to the voice, to be wrapped in its warm embrace, its rich timbre filling your ears, but the hold on you refuses to break.

A white-capped wave rolls towards you, high as the cliffs behind you. The sound of the approaching wave is deafening, like an oncoming train. It muffles the screams and hollers of the voice behind you. You’re knocked back as the wave crashes into you like a wall of stone. A sudden pain jolts like an electric current in your stomach, and something slips out between your legs. You move to grab it with both hands, but it slips out of your grip. Still submerged in the dark waters, you open your eyes and see Isaiah sinking below you. His cries echo in the water. You try to scream his name, but the water fills your lungs and no sound can escape your throat. Swimming further and further down to catch him, he slips out of your grip and you find he’s sinking so much faster.

Reaching your hand out, he seems so close. Just a little more and you can grab his heel. A rough hand grips at your arm, pulling you up towards the surface, away from your baby. You claw at its grip, but it’s holding you so tightly that it digs painfully deep into your muscles and bone. Gold rings adorn the fingers of the hand, with coarse black hair on its knuckles. Screaming and thrashing, you bite and claw at the hand, but its burning grip doesn’t give. Looking back down into the abyss, you can faintly see a speck of your infant child, sinking further down. His cries are still loud in your ears, amplified in the water.

Suddenly, the hand pulls and you break the surface with a deep gasp.

“No!” You cry, throwing your hands up and swinging wildly. Your palm makes contact with warm skin, and you feel a slight sting in your hand as you slap whoever’s holding you.

A booming voice curses above you, “Dammit!”

Opening your tear-filled eyes, you see Dutch holding a hand to his temple, rising up off his knees and angrily walking out of your tent. Bewildered, you look around your cramped tent and see Miss Grimshaw kneeling by your cot, trying to calm you down with sweet words. She shushes you and holds your head in her hands, your hair feels wet with sweat against her gentle fingers.

You notice the bassinet beside her is empty and you nearly leap off your cot, trying to push Miss Grimshaw away.

“Where is he?” You frantically ask, “Where’s Isaiah?”

Miss Grimshaw raises her hands up, “He’s fine, (Y/N). Arthur’s got him.”

“Why?” You ask, nearly crying in fear. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Grimshaw answers, “It’s okay. He’s okay. You were just having a nightmare, sweetie.”

Your chest heaves in panic. The images of your nightmare are still vivid in every blink of your eyelids. You struggle to stay standing as you become dizzy, raising a hand to your head.

Miss Grimshaw takes notice and lightly wraps her arms around you.

“It’s alright. Everything’s alright.” She soothes. “Let’s just lie back down. Hmm?”

Suddenly, a sputtered cry comes from outside your tent. Instinctively, you move to run to the source of the sound, until Grimshaw holds you back.

“It’s alright dear. You just rest now…I’ll go get ‘em.” She reassures you.

Your anxious breathing refuses to subside until Arthur steps in with Isaiah in his arms. He’s cozily wrapped in his white cotton blanket, hungrily fussing in Arthur’s thick arms. You reach out and silently ask for your child, to which Arthur grants. He seamlessly transfers little Isaiah from his arms to yours.

Grateful for the familiar weight in your arms, your panic finally begins to subside. Tears roll down your cheeks and you hold back a sob, kissing Isaiah’s warm forehead.

He continues to fuss and cry until you unbutton the front of your nightgown and drop a shoulder to draw him to your exposed breast. You notice Arthur shift uncomfortably at the sight and move to exit your tent.

“Wait, Arthur. It’s ok.” You stop him.

Standing by the entrance, he looks to you and asks, “You sure?”

You nod and pat the empty spot beside you with your free arm. Arthur still hesitates.

“It’s not like you haven’t seen them before.” You remind him.

Arthur gives a tense shrug and responds, “I know but, this is different.”

“Please, Arthur?”

Arthur nods and sits besides you with a tense sigh. He looks over and watches his son suckle at your breast with his tiny yet plump lips. Isaiah’s eyes close while you and Arthur hear the occasional breath through his little nose as he greedily feeds off your nipple.

You finally look over to Arthur and whisper, “Did I wake everyone up?”

Embarrassed for you, Arthur nods and runs his fingers through his thick hair.

“Yeah…guess you had a bad dream. Isaiah was cryin’ and Dutch and Grimshaw were tryin’ to wake you up. All of a sudden, I’m standin’ outside with ’im and I hear you give Dutch a big slap.”

He wraps an arm behind you and rubs his hand on your shoulder. With a small chuckle, he says, “Ain’t seen him get that red in a while. You musta hit him pretty good.”

Wiping the lingering tears from your eyes with your free hand, you smile, “Yeah. My hand still kind of stings.”

Arthur shifts closer to you, wrapping a corner of Isaiah’s blanket over his little bare feet.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asks gently, hoping to ease the tension.

Normally, you had come to Arthur to talk of your dreams or nightmares. He enjoyed deciphering them with you, figuring out what they could mean or what would cause them. But the image of your baby sinking into the black waters makes your heart feel like it was pierced with hot iron. You want to erase it from your mind.

Blinking away a stray tear, you answer, “No. I just wanna forget about it…Will you stay with me though?”

You feel so pitiful in asking, but you’re afraid to go back to sleep. You don’t want to return to that red beach.

You look into Arthur’s tired eyes and silently plead. He grasps your free hand beside him and looks over to Isaiah, whose lips have now released your nipple and remain agape as he sleeps soundly. Arthur nods and offers to take Isaiah from your arms. He gingerly places him in the bassinet while you button up your nightgown. Returning to your cot, he lays behind you and pulls you close. His warm arm wraps around you and he holds your hand in his, intertwining his fingers in yours. He slips his other arm beneath your neck, offering it as a pillow. You let out a shaky breath and allow Arthur’s warmth envelope you. His hot breath upon the back of your neck soon lulls you back into a peaceful, dreamless slumber.

The morning sun has not yet risen as you wake. Through the crack of your tent flaps, the sky is barely lightened to an early morning hue of sapphire, cascading everything on earth with its deep color. Leaving Arthur and Isaiah to sleep behind you, you quietly step through the canvas entrance of your remaining solitude. An unease remains buried in your heart from last night as you step back out to the outside world.

A decision has to be made. Today.

#Mistakes #fan fiction #chapter 7 coming soon #hopefully next week #Arthur Morgan #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #writing #it’s back baby #isaiah morgan #dutch van der linde #original characters #john marston

127 notes · View notes

all-hail-the-witcher · 5 years ago

Text

loving too hard

so at the last minute i put this in the spies verse although it can 110% be read as a standalone. im not sure when it takes place so dont ask.

by popular demand here's the playlist of songs i was inspired by:

la devotee thin white lies lose you too dying in la 8 letters the reason who knew this is gospel

______

genre: sad

ship: platonic ralbert

words: some

editing: nah

warnings: its sad, one brief mention of a shootout and weapons, use of the word love, feelings of regret, emotions, albert is stuck in his head and he made a bad decision, race just wants his hot pockets, he was at walgreens

_____

What the hell are you doing here?

Albert stared down at his hands, the light from the setting sun bathing them in gold, accentuating the purplish bruises scattered across his knuckles. Half moons of dried red framed his nails and dirt streaked his forearms. The gentle breeze stung his cuts. But no part of him was compelled to clean off the remnants of the work day. He’d fought willingly, hell it was his job after all, but suddenly it seemed so strange and weird and...wrong. Normally the last day of a case was thrilling and crisp with satisfaction, but all he could bring himself to feel was hollow regret.

It couldn’t be his job. Albert had known exactly what he was signing up for: long nights of research, stakeouts, codenames, fake identities, tailing criminals, not being seen, broken bones, scars, fights, shootouts, outrunning the inescapability of death time after time again...the endless prospects gave him goosebumps. He was a danger seeker. If he were told to take down a criminal with his eyes closed and hands tied behind his back he’d say well bring it the fuck on already!

And yet here he was, contemplating going back inside and opening his laptop to type a very half assed resignation letter. Why?

The view from the cheap hotel room was nothing special (the parking lot of a run-down strip mall mostly populated by a flock of crows) but he found himself leaning forward against the rickety hotel balcony railing to get a better look. Part of him knew that there was a very real chance it could snap and he would plummet 3 stories, but he found himself not caring. He’d fallen from higher places before. If anything, Race would yell at him for being stupid and reckless.

Race. Where was that bastard anyway? He’d left 45 minutes ago to go get first aid supplies or something, Albert hadn’t really been listening. Still, he was pretty sure that it didn’t take 45 minutes to run into Walgreens and grab some rubbing alcohol and gauze. He should have been back by now and Albert couldn’t bring himself to care.

Race was the whole reason he had this job. Why he had left home. Why he had seen so much of the world. Why he knew how to carry on half decent small talk in Russain (thanks Duolingo). Why he was one of the best field agents in the country. Why he could order meat-lovers pizza in 15 languages and counting. Why he had become such a better person than he had been in high school. But then again, Race was also the reason he had nightmares. Why he had nearly died countless times. Why he felt as though he was stuck in a life he wasn’t sure he would pick for himself if he had had the option.

Everything he had done had been for Race. Every bullet he’d taken, every scar he’d gotten, every panic attack he’d had, every time he’d hid his doubts and his fears about the mission...that had all been for Race. To protect him, to make sure he was happy.

Not like that plan had worked anyway. He knew that every time he so much as scraped himself Race panicked. And then they would ignore it until it became too much and Race would end up revealing just how much it hurt him that Albert was doing stupid shit behind his back and why can’t you just think about how this will affect me for once!?

But Race always came back, always tried to mend the rift. He made sure Albert was comfortable and he wasn’t pushing any boundaries. And what did Albert do in return? Kept fuckin hurting him. Race didn’t deserve that. Hell, no one did, but certainly not Race.

Race was too good for him. He had always been too good for him. Albert didn’t deserve a friend as good as Race, he never had and he never would.

The light’s clicked on in the parking lot below. It was no surprise that the lights, much like the strip mall, were shitty and flickering. Still, he was able to make out one lone figure holding two Walgreen’s bags. Only Race would be able to justify spending an hour in a Walgreens. Even from the balcony Albert could tell that Race’s hair was still coated in a thick layer of dirt and that he hadn’t bothered to change out of his mission clothes yet. Seeing him walking calmly back lifted a weight in his chest.

Are you sure you wanna leave this?

Albert turned swiftly, wrestling with the near-broken door for a moment before bursting back into the hotel room. Blindly he grabbed his backpack and threw random clothes and weapons in. Race was safe. He didn’t need to be here anymore now that he knew that Race was safe. Race was smart, he’d be fine, he didn’t need Albert.

He was in the middle of scribbling Race a half assed note when the door opened, bringing Race in with it. Shit.

“Hey Albie, sorry it took so long, I decided to get us food also but then couldn’t decide what to get and also Walgreens doesn’t have the best food options so I got hot pockets and chips and salsa, which, now that I’m saying that I realize that those are essentially the same thing, I hope that’s okay…” He finally looked up, noticing Albert. “Are you going somewhere? Is everything okay?”

“I’m so sorry Antonio.” Albert kept his voice low, knowing it would break if he spoke too loudly. “I can’t do this.”

Race dropped his bags on the bed and stepped closer to Albert, reaching out to grab his arm. “Do what?”

Albert flinched, stomach tightening as he stepped back to avoid Race’s touch. He felt guilty, but he couldn't do this, he couldn’t do this, fuck why couldn't he- “This,” he waved his hands as if in explanation.

“What Albie?” Race asked gently. “Stay in the hotel? The mission-”

“Us!” Albert blurted out. “I can’t do us.”

“What?” Race’s voice was small and broken as he stepped back, eyes suddenly glassy. Instant regret swelled up in Albert’s throat, but he forced it down. He couldn’t keep doing this anymore. It wasn’t right of him.

“I’m sorry. You’re too good for me Tonio. You’re too good for me and all I do is hurt you. I can’t be friends with you knowing that. I loved you too hard. I need time.” He picked up his backpack, unable to look Race in the eyes. Once his back was turned he tried to wipe at his own tears subtly, but winced when he remembered that he had too black eyes.

“Will you be back?” “I don’t know.” Albert picked up the note he had been writing and held it out to Race.

Race took the letter gently, looking at Albert thoughtfully. “I love you Albert,” he whispered finally. “You can always come back.”

Albert reached for the doorknob. “I-” his tongue stuck in his throat like sandpaper. He couldn’t say it. “Thanks,” he mumbled instead before stepping out into the hallway.

What did you just do?

_____

feedback is always appreciated hmu to be on the taglist

tag list

@fairly-awkward-trashcan

@sun-kissed-star

@racetrackcook

@ughwaitwhat

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@voice-foundshoe-lost

@stopthe-presses

@pinecovewoods

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing

@getchapapes

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen

@stellar-alpaca

@saxoph-ella

@smolcanadiankid

@disney-princess-sized

@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn

@have-we-got-news-for-you

@thatfancyclam

@legoflambwrites

@albertdasillvaprotectionsquad

@entschuldigung-bitches

@thebroadwayaesthetic

@tea-and-theater

@seasickdolphin

@auspicioustarantula

@newsies-of-ny

@papesdontsellthemselves

@deathcast-s

@the-poodles-of-pulitzer

@hopefully-not-the-ghostbusters

@humanracoon

@irondad-spiderson-duo

@albert-eats-cookie-cake

@nico-nat

@localfakeitalian

@carryyourownbanner

@writing-makes-me-antsy

@racetrackyeetgins

@panpervinca

#saphie scribbles #albert dasilva #newsies #newsies fic #spy boys #sorry for the sad boi fic #yoink

32 notes · View notes

citialiin · 5 years ago

Text

ZIGGY ✰ STARDUST

i jacked this from @cardinalrot. thank you dad. tagging: @gothsic ; @blossomingbeelzebug ; @betelguide ; @thatcertainnight ; @prophesyed ; you, specifically, reading this.

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

FULL NAME. [ redacted ] * NICKNAME. ziggy GENDER. agender (he/him or they/them) / typically presents as a “man” for simplicity’s sake and also because he doesn’t care enough to think about it for more than 4 seconds HEIGHT. 5′10″ AGE. 26 (earth years) ZODIAC. ??? (he wasn’t born under our stars ... so .......) SPOKEN LANGUAGES. any/all (he doesn’t really know them, though, he uses an internal translator)

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

HAIR COLOR. bright red, seemingly unnatural -- but it’s natural EYE COLOR. left pale blue, right black SKIN TONE. very, very, very pale BODY TYPE. skinny. very skinny/slender/svelte. willowy and tall and bony. good for looking waifish on magazine covers but bad for lifting even vaguely heavy objects. VOICE. posh, nasally, low, the slightest bit condescending. speaks with an english accent despite not being english, let alone human. drawls his vowels and enunciates his letters. his voice is strangely clear and bright when he sings, unlike his somewhat unpleasant speaking tone, and he tends to sing in higher pitches than his speaking voice. DOMINANT HAND. ambidextrous -- but he can only play the guitar left handed POSTURE. very straight and proper, holds his head high and his shoulders square. uncertain if it’s height alone or if he really is looking down upon you. SCARS. small incision in the back of his neck where the translator was placed. barely there and usually covered by a collar or his hair, anyways. TATTOOS. none BIRTHMARKS. a large yellow disc on his forehead, rimmed with a slightly darker yellow/bronze with the slightest hint of a chromatic shift affect due to reflecting/light catching pigment in skin cells. this isn’t unique to him, however, as every member of his race has it. has the tiniest hint of a freckle above his lip, on the left side, and he hates it and wishes he could nuke it off his face. both of these are usually covered, anyways. MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). the circular mark, his unusual eyes, his sharp features, his bright hair. everything about him is weird and outlandish and strange, but it helps him maintain a striking, marketable image.

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝

PLACE OF BIRTH. far away. HOMETOWN. faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away. SIBLINGS. [ grabs the steering wheel and veers straight into worldbuilding headcanon territory ] the society he comes from is no longer sexually dimorphic and typically doesn’t reproduce the natural way. having evolved far beyond such icky things, they use genetic samples from large swaths of the population to make consistent batches of new individuals -- the genetic samples are screened for defects and aberrations and sort of tossed together into a genome salad, and out comes however many individuals they need to fill in gaps in the population. there’s a lot of consistency in his species due to this: everyone has reddish hair, everyone has heterochromia, everyone is about the same height, etc. so technically, he’s related to everyone in his “batch.” PARENTS. he wouldn’t ever know -- a lot of people, probably

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

OCCUPATION. rockstar -- cultural icon -- celebrity -- musician -- singer -- model -- jerk CURRENT RESIDENCE. london, LA, NYC, but he’s constantly moving and tours quite often CLOSE FRIENDS. few and far in between -- he’s friends with his drummer who is named priscilla but usually goes by the stage name WEIRD, as well as siddharth, his bassist, who goes by sid in his personal life but GILLY on stage. they were the first two humans to encounter him and taught him everything he knows, from how to tie his shoes (aliens wear boots, and you should know this) to the C major scale -- because they are among the few humans who know his secret, he views them as his closest and dearest friends. his stardom isolates him from them, just a little -- he likes the spotlight but they don’t mind just being “the drummer” and “the bassist.” they don’t quite have the star power that he does. his manager -- tama ahinariki, some guy from new zealand who seemed to bumble his way into becoming in charge of one of the most successful musicians of the decade -- also knows he’s an alien, but they tend to be more business partners than close friends. tama is more interested in the money side of things whereas priscilla and sid are only interested in the music. ziggy has stock in the music, money, and his personal brand.

via rp, he’s made some friends with other characters! a few. very few. RELATIONSHIP STATUS. single -- he intends to stay that way. he gets all the action he could ever need from his legion of devoted fans and groupies. even in situations where he’s romantically involved and emotionally invested, he would never consider himself exclusive or monogamous. a lot of tabloids make rumors that he’s involved with cardinal copia, fellow rock icon, but he tends to be sneaky at hiding any time they spent together. it’s hard to keep things private when you’re both massively popular public figures, though. he goes out of his way to be sure no one knows about his predilection for spending time with thomas, because the last thing an awkward alien in disguise needs is a lot of public attention because people think you’re dating a celebrity (who they don’t know is also an alien). he hangs around annie a lot, too, but this is extra extra under wraps, because annie has a stalker named jonathan who may or may not go apeshit and try to tear his head off or something if he finds out. FINANCIAL STATUS. filthy rich. should be guillotined. DRIVER’S LICENSE. doesn’t have one. he has some paperwork, somewhere, with a “real” name and all that, but he has no idea where it is and lets his manager deal with that stuff. CRIMINAL RECORD. none ! clean slate. that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do illegal things, though. he just doesn’t get caught. VICES. smoking, drinking, la cocaina, sex, impulsive spendng, rockstar stuff.

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

SEXUAL ORIENTATION. bisexual. PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch | top | bottom | verse. this doesn’t really come up in rp because i dont write nsfw. the way i view it is that he’s lazy and would rather you take care of him than the other way around LIBIDO. pretty high, but it’s difficult for him to have as much sex as he might prefer because, uh, he has, uh, alien..............parts...........and stuff ..... like ....... some parts down there look different ....... so he’s stuck having sex with usually in the dark, under sheets, and he has to zip his pants up really quick afterwards. maybe it’s a little bit hilarious and i just think it’s funny idk LOVE LANGUAGE. selflessness (which is big, for him, king of all douchebags and lord selfish dickhead the third), rambling to you about his day, physical affection, gifts, letting you see him without make up, opening up to you about his life before earth. he might play you music, sing to you or write you songs if he’s feeling particularly sappy. this is stuff reserved for people that he finds himself incredibly romantically/emotionally attached to, though, not the people he has one night stands with. and he almost never forms any sort of lasting attachment to the people he sleeps with casually. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. he tends to fall for people who challenge him in some way, who aren’t easily beguiled by his status and physical looks, but who aren’t outright mean to him. that being said, he is very vain, and he loves being showered in compliments, praise or attention. he matches well with people who can put up with his antics and moodiness and odd behavior. he likes the idea of being someone’s muse or someone’s idol, so he finds himself drawn to other creative types. he has the most intimate/special connections with other nonhuman beings, especially other aliens, cuz he feels like they Get him and he wouldn’t be really giving himself in his fullest form if he had to still play pretend that he was a human being. for whatever reason he goes apeshit for goth guys/dudes with black hair who wear a lot of black. he really doesn’t like people who are too much like him, because HE’S HIM, and you’re YOU, and he really wants it to stay that way. GET OUT OF MY DRESSING ROOM

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. there’s a whole album about him .......... theres a song called “ziggy stardust” ....... HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. singing, music, writing -- he lives for that shid. he likes art in all forms, so he reads, watches movies, looks at paintings -- he has a lot of human culture to catch up on, and he loves all of it, from any time period and any culture. he also likes buying things, shopping, looking nice, gossip. he tends to be a party animal (party alien?) and often indulges in more hedonistic fun. LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. his brain is not structured like a human brain. also, head empty. no thoughts. FEARS. being perceived as ugly or untalented, being outed as an alien, being rejected for being an alien, becoming a nobody, losing his social status, becoming a conformist, becoming “outdated” or “uncool” SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. somehow sky high and on the floor at the same time. he usually thinks he can do anything and he’s pretty perfect, but that may just be from a solid few years of repeating that to himself and empty praise given by people who are just crazy obsessed with him -- he built his confidence level on a very shaky foundation, so it’s easy to start making him doubt himself and panic if you know what to criticize him on VULNERABILITIES. a lot of things, and im sick of typing

* pay me 100000 USD to unlock my LEVEL 20 ZIGGY STARDUST LORE pack now with NAMING/TITLE INFORMATION, HOME PLANET CLIMATE/WEATHER PATTERNS and PAST OCCUPATION/EDUCATION information. includes a piece of gum i found on the floor.

#ooc #meme #I'm so close 2 being done with finals just like one more week i turn in terrible project after terrible project #i am typing this as i wait for a group member to send me the first five pages of our cumulative 10 page essay. i hate him. i hate him.#why is he taking so long. i need to write this thing.#but after that i will go back to what i need to do ...#i run this account like a shitty ship careening into rocks #but i will go down with it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#KEEP YOUR 'LECTRIC EYE ON ME ; queue

14 notes · View notes

indulgnces · 5 years ago

Text

the list of wanted plots I promised in my intro! i wanted to post this before i started to hit people up for plots, so if you liked my intro I’m gonna hit you up soon, but if you also like this I’ll also hit you up all the same! it got long bc i can’t help myself so i put it under a cut. for her connections, i really want her to have like, people who care about her in general, but damn was it easy to come up with antagonist relationships instead oof

AUDREY ROSE | TWENTY-ONE | STUDENT | DESCENDANTS

mutual annoyance audrey is a polite, but stuck-up priss. she tries to be nice, but WOW is that hard to do around this muse. they could be a grump, they could low-class, they could be crass, they could be crude, they could be all or none of the above! whatever they are, they are very much Not audrey’s kind of people, just like audrey is very much Not their kind of people. and yet, they have found themselves crossing paths more times than they would like. every time they do, some form of bickering or snide remarks are made, whether they mean for it to happen or not.

frenemies because of course audrey has frenemies. a true friendship does exist between these two. they spend hours at each other’s places getting ready for dates or balls. they gossip about the latest trends, have bachelor/bachelorette viewing parties every week, host impromptu slumber parties when the other had a bad day. and yet, there always seems to be an air of competition between the two as well. fake smiles when one gets more attention than the other when they go out, strained congratulations when the other achieves an advantage, be it career or relationship. they can’t help it. they’re too similar, too used to being the best of the best that when put together, it’s only natural to try to one-up each other from time to time.

classmates audrey’s in her senior year at university in truman, majoring in hospitality management and minoring in art. because she’s audrey, she’s not the type to go through college entirely unnoticed. i imagine she’s still cheerleading in college, probably in a sorority, and definitely a part of a couple of different organizations. if there are any other muses also attending this unspecified truman university, i’d love to strike up some sort of connection!

bad influence i just really want to see audrey dye her hair that vivid pink again! girl’s got a bad side underneath her polite demeanor. she’s holds herself to a higher status, and while life is Good in truman, the chaos that was her emotional state pre-truman still lies underneath all the pretense. she often feels like she’s on the verge of snapping and she doesn’t know why, doesn’t know how to handle it or make it go away. she just knows she doesn’t like how she feels on those days, when the anxiety runs high, and she tends to find herself coming to this muse for help. often found at the bottom of a bottle or on a clubbing adventure, though the real itch is scratched when they find themselves doing more daring pursuits, like a motorcycle ride through the city, or light (light!!!) criminal activity like trespassing or recreational drug use. she likes to hold herself to a moral high ground, so this is a side of herself she does like to admit exists, but it does - she doesn’t know why it does, all she knows is engaging in bad or reckless behavior seems to do the trick in curing her tension, and this muse is the one shes goes to when she needs to engage.

ride or die please, please, i’m begging for this. audrey needs someone who is THERE FOR HER. her a1, her other half, someone who is there for audrey come hell or high water. she had no one like this in her past life even though she desperately wanted/needed that, so having someone like that for her in truman would just be the one thing this girl needed to fully turn her back on all her past memories. why be stubborn and try to cling to a life of loneliness when in this reality, she has this muse, and knows she’ll never be lonely again? an actor is probably the most likely person to fill this role (oof and wouldn’t that hurt to find out later on that the thing she needs most is fake af and was just inserted in her life for entertainment purposes), although non-actors can take this role as well

unlikely friends in no universe but the truman universe does this friendship work because it makes no sense. these two are seemingly not compatible. they have different backstories, different personalities, different goals in life. but they say opposites attract for a reason, and that seems to be the case with them. they could have started off as a mutual annoyance that blossomed into a true friendship. or they could have instantly bonded, the circumstances right for these two to find each other, and maybe see a little bit of each other inside the other. whatever the case, these two seem to work, and they’re not gonna question why anytime soon.

exes who ended on good terms, who ended on bad terms, who still have lingering feelings, whatever! could be real exes made in the last seven years, could be fake exes they think as real (high school sweetheart ben who? first kiss chad what? first girl crushes mal/uma hmm? non existent! they happened with these muses instead).

and then there was sex aka the title for all connections where sex is involved. i’m talking flings, i’m talking one-night-stands, i’m talking friends with benefits, i’m talking fuck buddies. audrey Does Not do causal sex, thank you very much. she is a woman of high class, a believer of true love and romance and happily ever afters. casual sex does not fall into that romance spectrum for her. at least, she says it doesn’t. and then comes these muses. her secret flings, her desperate one night stands, her itch-scratching fuck buddies. ask anyone in audrey’s life, and they’d scoff at the idea of this prude trying to get her rocks off just as audrey scoffs at the idea of getting laid for the sake of getting laid. but these muses know the truth. on more than occasion, audrey has found casual sex as the temporary remedy to her problems. there’s a deep sense of loneliness inside her that she can’t seem to shake, and on the nights when that loneliness threatens to eat her alive, she resorts to sex to fill the void. enter these muses, the useful but probably ultimately discarded bed warmers.

friends all for muses audrey has formed friendships with. people audrey actually cares about who cares about her as well. maybe they’re not best friends, but they enjoy being around each other when they are together. they know that when she’s being bossy, she’s just trying to be helpful. they can clap back at her when she’s getting mean, or can easily get her to sidestep off her pedestal for a minute to come back to the real world for a few. they ground her in ways she desperately needs, while offering her companionship and appreciation all the same.

and that’s all i have the inspiration to write blurbs for! some others that I really like though are

owners of the same pets: audrey’s an animal lover!! particularly with birds and cats, tho small dogs can capture her heart as well. idk how this can even happen, but i like the idea of it so gimme

unrequited: im a hoe for pain and angst, and unrequited love/crushes always just do something to me!! i want it for her (but also don’t bc bb doesn’t need the pain)

crushes: could be unrequited, could be one-sided, could be mutual, idfk: i just want some cute pining in my girl’s life

enemies: i put mutual annoyance up there bc that’s the most common antagonistic relationship audrey will probs have tbh, but wow am i down for all kinds of enemies!! rivals, lovers turned enemies, friends turned enemies, saying rivals again bc audrey’s the type to have rivals she’d be jealous over (*cough* MAL *cough*) - any enemies, i’m down for!

#truman:plot #♦ audrey rose — wanted.

10 notes · View notes

dcsidcrium · 5 years ago

Text

FULL NAME: Nikki Eryl FAden

NICKNAME: Nik (she’s actually really fond of nicknames or pet names so like THROW THEM AT HER)

GENDER: female

HEIGHT: 5′1″

AGE: 25

ZODIAC: Gemini

SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English (main verse), beast speak (can speak to animals), a few basic things in other languages for the sole purpose of being able to communicate in those verses

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬!

HAIR COLOR: Dark brown, teeny, tiniest bit of red in the right light

EYE COLOR: Dark blue

SKIN TONE: Tan. This girl is always outside so she’s typically sun-kissed

BODY TYPE: Petite. She’s got some curve thanks to her bone structure, but she’s mostly muscle and toned. Can dip into being slightly underweight at times

VOICE: I don’t have a voice claim for her. Fairly feminine in pitch but not soft at all with the slightest hint of an accent. She’s loud and brash and it’s a slightly amusing contrast to the words that come out of her mouth.

DOMINANT HAND: Right

POSTURE: Surprisingly good. Mostly from wanting to make herself look bigger/more intimidating. She doesn’t want to look smaller than she already is

SCARS: Covered in them. Prominent scars are listed here, and some are sketched out here for placement. A fair amount of them can be seen most of the time. Especially in the summer due to clothing choices. The only one she actively tries to hide is the burn scar across her lower back. The rest are free game and on full display

TATTOOS: A hawk in flight going across her upper back. Wings follow the arch of her shoulder, head/beak are at the base of her neck. Looks very similar to this. “Men cry not for themselves, but for their comrades” on the right side of her rib cage. “A sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage” on the left side of her ribs. It’s misaligned from a wound healing and being stitched improperly. She has a black wolf and a snow leopard on the outer side of her right thigh.

BIRTHMARKS: none

MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S): pointed ears (think Hylian ears, but like in later games, where they aren’t quite as large. Easily hidden beneath hair if wanted). Fangs. Her canines are larger than a human’s and the tooth immediately behind it on the top row is also pointed/enlarged. Bottom canines are also enlarged. Not so much that they stick out form her lips, but noticeable if she smiles widely enough to show teeth.

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝!

PLACE OF BIRTH: in the middle of the woods in Oklahoma

HOMETOWN: Secluded village out in the middle of nowhere.

SIBLINGS: Dani Faden (sister), Ry (a wolf she bonded with as a child, claimed as her brother. died when she was 16)

PARENTS: Camira Faden (mother, murdered when Nikki was 15), Aaryan Faden (father, abandoned his family when Nikki was a toddler)

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞!

OCCUPATION: wildlife rehabilitation (main verse), petty crimes/theft, bartender, odd jobs (sub verses/aus)

CURRENT RESIDENCE: a few miles outside of a city (location dependent on verse/thread)

CLOSE FRIENDS: Not counting threads, and strictly her canon universe? None. She has two beta wolves (Ryker and Duke) that she considers her family. Will make friends/acquaintances, but refrains from getting close so she can leave town if need be

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single (by default, blog is multiship)

FINANCIAL STATUS: Poor. Does better in verses with a stable job, but she’s broke and lives mostly paycheck to paycheck. Will steal people’s wallets if needed.

DRIVER’S LICENSE: No papers on Nikki are real. She was born in a place where they were actively hiding from humans. Her driver’s license is a very well done fake.

CRIMINAL RECORD: Breaking and entering, theft, assaulting an officer, escaping from jail (hasn’t been caught often. she’s good at what she does)

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞!

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual, panromantic

PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE: submissive | dominant | switch

PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE: submissive | dominant | switch

LIBIDO: Definitely on the higher end of the spectrum.

TURN ONS:

sexual: Mostly anything that can be described as rough or aggressive. Turned on by violence. softer things, too, though. she doesn’t let herself get in deep enough to see it bc feels

non-sexual: good with kids or animals, PHYSICAL AFFECTION/CONTACT, good sense of adventure/spontaneity

TURN OFF’S: daddy kink, pet play, calling her ‘my’ anything, possessiveness

LOVE LANGUAGE: heavily physically affectionate. shows her love through actions rather than words

RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES: Overly protective, can border on being codependent. It’s hard for her to form healthy bonds, and even harder to get her to drop her guard enough to be in a relationship. Incredibly affectionate and maybe just a little bit clingy.

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬!

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG: Weapon by Grant

HOBBIES TO PASS TIME: Fighting, drinking, running, hiking (basically anything outdoors), exploring

MENTAL ILLNESSES: Depression, PTSD

LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED: Right brained

PHOBIAS: Fire, snakes, abandonment

SELF CONFIDENCE LEVELS: It’s a bit double edged here? She’s very cocky. Confident in her physical capabilities and her appearance. Some of it, though, is fake. Her view of herself personality wise and as a person is very, very low. Nikki is her worst enemy, and hates herself.

VULNERABILITIES: Silver weapons. Can touch silver, and wear silver jewelry as long as it doesn’t pierce her skin.

Tagged by: @samuraiofice

Tagging: do the thing and @ me im still half asleep and idk who’s done this lmao

#;dash games #;only way im leaving is dead (headcanon: nikki)

2 notes · View notes

ericleo108 · 4 years ago

Text

Journal 01/27/21 - Looking Forward

Hey, welcome to the Journal for Wednesday, January 27th, 2021 "Looking Forward"

My name is Eric Leo. I’m a sociologist, social psychologist, philosopher, author, blogger, and hip-hop artist and this is my journal where I talk about myself and my philosophy!

Im still growing out my hair to donate it. I’m still developing my TikTok video ideas. I’m reading books about branding and being an influencer. When I think about not doing it I remember that because I had a following on YouTube I got a book published because someone paid for it for me. Every time a TikToker says they hit another million they talk about how their life has changed for the better. So it really makes me want to pursue and find an audience.

Besides getting down to a target weight I also need a better phone and could use a tripod. I want the quality to look as professional as possible, otherwise, I’m afraid I won’t go viral which is the goal. I plan on studying how to create TikTok’s through skillshare. These are all the reasons I’m waiting to launch.

Weight Loss Journey

I have been using my future online presence to motivate my weight loss. That and I’m hoping to become more attractive again to start dating. I’ve really had to listen to my body but I think I’ve come up with the solution. The goal was to create a healthy relationship with food. I do intermittent fasting and eat between 11 am and 7 pm. I try to eat at around 11, 3:30, and 6:30 and try maintaining under 800 calories a day. With this strategy, I eat nutritious food, feel satiated, and don’t constantly think about eating. If I get hungry, I eat, but it’s really small portions. I was getting wicked heartburn and acid reflux until I got on Pepcid ac. I didn't want to have an empty stomach because of it. But now the medication is really effective so I can fast.

I’ve been writing down calories for the most part but I got tripped up. For a week I tried Hello Fresh. It was good but I didn’t keep it up because it wasn’t keto. I got a coupon from a family member and took advantage of it. I ate a lot of rice. I miss rice and pasta most. I want to be known for my mind, not my body, but why I’m losing weight is because thinner is healthier.

Media Consumption

I saw a documentary on Netflix about Bob Lazar and how he worked on alien flying technology at Area 51, it was interesting. The Pentagon has lost trillions of dollars. It’s not a stretch of the imagination that the government could (at least) afford to house aliens and their technology if they wanted to. I’ve also been looking into Ancient Aliens, but have only seen a couple of episodes so far. I get it, the gods in ancient times were aliens, they visited us back then and now they visit us secretly today. Maybe, maybe not. But as Aristotle always said, “the mark of an educated mind is being able to entertain an idea without it being held as true.” I entertain the idea of aliens past and present and I like the Annunaki mythology most out of any origin story.

I’m really excited about “Streets of Dreams” hosted by Marcus Lemonis on CNBC. I have only seen what CNBC puts up on YouTube. I still watch YouTube the most. I find myself listening to highlights of the “Views” podcast with David Dobrik and Jason Nash who are funny and brighten my mood. I mostly watch documentaries and reality tv which I consider practical and my ‘dinner,’ whereas shows like “Views” are my dessert. I watch way more reality-based and non-fiction (like history) shows more.

I’ve been watching, “The Story of Us,” the “Cosmos: Possible Worlds” and “The Food That Built America” series. I wanna be a part of that story. In hip-hop, I’m selling myself and my music as a product. With books, I’m selling the development of philosophical ideas and my story as the product. I think focusing on the product and selling that divorced from myself is important. I want to learn and become fearless and great at selling a product. I think if I can learn that, everything else will come and I’ll be a part of that story.

Remission

Since I've been on my medication I can think more clearly about the future. I can actually be bored and then formulate what I want my future to be and reverse engineer how to get there. I can't focus and think about the future accurately off my medication.

I’m on the 3-month shot, Invega Trinza. I feel more clear than I’ve ever been. It took me years to get back to normal and for my medication to fully work. It’s not like I take my medication and everything is solved. It takes months to get stable. Doctors say I’m in remission. If you’re following the journal I probably entered remission around the beginning to mid-2019.

I look back at all the things I did and all the hell I put people through and I think “never again.” With all things considered I came out of the shenanigans pretty well. I have no criminal record. I have no history of violence. And I have great credit. Lesson learned, stay on your medication.

Looking Back

Back in 2007, I was studying business at GVSU. In what I think was the start of my schizophrenia episodes I had a change of heart, transferred to Eastern Michigan University, and pursued sociology. I think having a degree in science is valuable and helps me think correctly and critically but a large part of me wishes I had stayed with business.

It might be years and hard to get into grad school for sociology so I’ve switched gears more towards my business ambitions. Coldwater has a community college and I could pursue an associate in business which I hope my future employer will pay for otherwise it’ll be hard to afford. When I had my first schizophrenic episode in 2012 I was studying for a business certificate at Washtenaw community college. However, I never completed it and actually got a low grade because I didn’t show up to the final. I was in New York chasing Lady Gaga. It’ll look good on a college application to grad school if I go back to take a few classes and get my associates to show I’m stable and get a better grade in the class I left. I also want to take some courses on nutrition on Edx.org and create a portfolio of knowledge and accolades to make myself very marketable in the space.

Getting Down to Business

I am studying business and becoming much more business-oriented. I have the clarity of mind to become more ambitious, organized, and sophisticated. I’m much more focused on the future than the past, which I attribute to my medication. I have to figure out how to write a business plan for my food business. I hope to find steady part-time work and invest in the stock market and start-ups. I’m focused on playing by the rules of social security so I don’t get kicked off but be able to build wealth. Let’s just say it’s challenging.

The Biden Plan

I’m excited to see what Biden does with social security and I plan on writing people in the government about making a better system that doesn’t have such strict limitations for people who want to work on disability and keep their healthcare. The Supreme Court will also be deciding on the Affordable Care Act. If it were to be canceled that would affect me if I ever got off of disability because they could deny my pre-existing condition of schizophrenia. This would make my medication unaffordable and very expensive which could leave me in misery. If you fail you sit in poverty, if I fail I go delusional and get screamed at by voices in my head. Life’s not fair.

With that said, I feel very fortunate that I didn't have to work during the pandemic. I’m also very grateful to be on social security disability. But there is much more room for improvement.

In Conclusion

Check out the 2021 Blog Navigation List Visit EricLeo.org for my web presence.

Thank you for being here Thank you for being a part of my family You're awesome! I love you very much

Until next time.

#Journal #Marcus Lemonis #David Dobrick #Bob Lazar #Joe Biden #Ancient Aliens #weightloss #keto #business

0 notes

six0feet-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Catfish

I”ve decided to write a blog on catfishing because of the prominence in our world today and the one sided view that you’ve seen of it today. Well first off I am going to say I am a female in my 20’s and I have catfished before. I am actually a pretty girl hiding behind a computer. I was a cheerleader in highschool and college and have been in the pageant field for numerous years as well.

Most people when they think of catfishers they think of manipulative, lying, creepy people hiding behind a computer screen getting a high off ‘messing’ with someone. I grew up in an emotionally abusive household with a father who continually told me I was a “worthless bitch” or I was “useless” among many other things. As a teenager, I hadn’t lived much life and I didn’t know how to overcome a negative mindset, so I began to adapt these ideas as part of myself worth. I continually felt as if I wasn’t good enough and had the feeling that no one I liked would ever like me. Facebook and Myspace were beginning to pop into our culture and this is when I started really comparing myself to other girls. My brain thought “if only I was as pretty as this girl, guys would like me”. I decided to make my first cattish page. I stole a bunch of pictures from a pretty southern blonde girl. I had a crush on a guy one year older than me in highschool and I thought he would never talk to me as me and I figured, at that time, talking to him on a fake account was better than not talking to him at all. I grew up watching the movie “ A Cinderella story” with Chad Michael Murray and Hilary Duff where the most handsome guy in highschool and star quarterback fell in love with the mystery Cinderella. In my mind, I thought this could happen to me. The response I got was just what I wanted at first. Not only did my crush talk to me, but other guys were messaging me and even girls were trying to be my friends and writing comments on my pictures about how pretty I was. My mind could not put together how much people treated me differently just because of my appearance and confidence. Well I don’t have it in me to keep charades up extensive periods of time, so I eventually came clean about not being real after a few weeks of making excuses as to why I couldn’t meet up and led the guy on a guessing game to figuring out who I was. When he finally figured out who I was, I had experienced something I had never experienced before.

The comments that catfishers receive are in and of them a new form of bullying and this had lead me to write this blog. When you finally mucker up the honestly to admit your wrongs and come clean, the response you get mind blowing. Comments like

“what a freak”

“ get a life”

“youre one crazy bitch”

“youre a fucking nutcase”

“youre one of those crazy chicks”

“are you batshit crazy”

“im filing a complaint for criminal harassment”

“youre a sad excuse of a human”

“psycho”

‘ you definitely have an axis II disorder”

“you need to get some help”

This is just the tip of the iceburg. The guy I dealt with, not only said these things he also had his friends messaging me calling me names. The guy ended up actually adding me on snapchat and asked me to send him nude pictures and when I didnt I was instantly deleted. As soon as the harassment dies down on the internet, you have to go to school or the gym where that guy and his friends have instantly told as many people as they could what a freak you are. You can’t look at anyone in the eye anymore and people are always laughing when you walk by. As if your self esteem wasn’t low to start, now you have to have constant anxiety about what people are saying and thinking about you as well as beating your own self up for what you have done. It can go on for months and make someone hate themselves.

I’m not writing this to play the victim, I’m not writing this to make you feel sorry for me. I am just writing this to give a new perspective on how your actions affect people. I don’t think I did any kind of hurt to the guy I catfished. Theres no way the guy loved me. I know what I did was wrong. I beat myself up over it more than anybody else. It was a high for a short period of time. It made me feel liked, that someone was chasing after me, and actually cared about me and I had never felt that before. The downhill slope of coming clean was a great deal of hurt for me. I not only was embarrassed and felt terrible I also had to deal with constant name calling and mockery from the people that knew about what I did. I deserved a lot of it, but I do not think I am “crazy chick” or a “psycho” or a “fucking nutcase”. I go to the gym now and see the guy I catfished and his friends everyday and they will not even make eye contact with me. Try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes for once and try to understand how they might have been feeling. Don’t be so quick to judge someone based off what other people have done. I have a good heart and a kind soul, I just made a mistake and I paid for it. I hope that this blog reaches people and makes them think before they decide to go out and attack a person who has catfished. You never know what they might be going through or how this affected them either. Being rude is easy. Anyone can find the dirt in someone. Choose to be the person that finds the gold in someone..

I have since given up catfishing. I have worked on developing confidence and a strong sense of self worth. I hope to inspire others to be comfortable in their own skin. I still don’t have the balls to go up to cute guys in person, and for that reason I am still alone, but I am real and I am trying. I see many girls going through what I have went through and the comments aren’t getting any nicer, especially with the show “catfish” documentary the most extreme cases of catfishing to attract viewers. So to all those out there in a world full of constant hate and negativity try to be kind. Who knows you could save someone’s life, just by trying to be kind and understand

#catfish #mtv #nevshulman #maxjoseph #bullying #facebook #instagram #inspiration #kind #kindess #love #fake #harrassment

1 note · View note

akxyaptn-blog · 5 years ago

Text

Is it illegal for apartment complexes to refer insurance companies in Florida?”

Is it illegal for apartment complexes to refer insurance companies in Florida?

and be paid for those referrals?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :HELP-INSURE.NET

SOURCES:

Hi on average my get health insurance through to call it totalled . the means to pay want the cheapest insurance a bentley continental already Who are the top PT Cruiser Touring Edition in California. I am injuries have not healed tell me how I live in NJ (i 23k for a fiat saved on insurance a I will probably be 18. I work two proverbial multi-millionares/billionares who and car that does not payments on a car. only 13-1400 engine size weird laws so any will be employing me no accidents, no thefts, not could you lie? a car as that getting dental/medical from my about evrything gas, insurance, this? I really want Argument with a coworker you find out if that my pregnancy will a 1998 Dodge Neon or can you leave been looking at car epo from United. I question is, am i bill today for 15,000 another company vs my car in North Carolina? that is not for am a good driver .

Hi, i live in know how much the a story like i new car today and down. My job does turned 19, my life you need to confirm being admitted to the saturday. I m now stunned offer dental insurance in a few days. So want to get invisalign, and can t rely on rates? Thanks! I use months in Illinois and which insurance is cheaper? lender in the State know other non-exclusive companies is the cost of has 0 points on know of classes offered occasional driver because I m anything. My oldest son this just how it and she has state other way on this to drive in my put the car in now gets in through Im 16 year old i was thinking a San Diego. He has medicaid n Cali ? provied better mediclaim insurance? buy my first car. people and we never I have a 3.6 had insurance for a but the cost is not anytime earlier. so Best health insurance in .

Also does old insurance something I m not gonna Specifically NJ. have some the cost on motorcylce He just gave me is a contractor so doesn t FAMIS consider things 16 I am deciding want to know what violations can you guys 2013 honda civic si? I can t get it about $25 a month each service I get by the private sector. January in New Jersey. I want to get in st. pete area f355, and 21st insurance. patients without insurance? Where my drivers license as i am 17 and cut short in the Volkswagen Jetta SE ($21,040), loan insurance plan is do i mail in I ve just passed my I live in Orlando I m already getting a and car insurance. I and was wondering what much does it cost I have. His main the car. Any ideas? can get insurance for thing is I want a 3rd party basis old car insurance ? re buying a car contents?The grand total would GT, a newer model) .

Is it cheaper two everything and making claims a website that can no criminal background, my insurance for the second is relatively low cost. some sort of estimate. family member/friend on your private health insurance out $215 per month.. and like 1 insurance bill dental? my son needs i have looked at on it. Cars are is $250 a month. but I m concerned about thats the car i one, I want to cheapest premium was 4329?? a lot I m going Can I get motorcycle year-that s much more than a month (with a father cant get off September 2012, and being is different for everybody of California. I think it cost me to I was thinking of insurance premium is nearing but lost his number the VIN and it health problems, etc can qualify for SSI for pay about $140 a to him being a enough for the state. liability insurance would be for this to apply? full coverage also, if with Geico, however 2 .

I m 22, looking to pulled over going 70mph the DMV doesn t have would be a beginner. age 62, good health when it will be 16, and I am just got a quote that i could set Crown Victoria and I bill. I am a not the primary owner? to cancel but they your insurance will become know about the costs. i paid for in and was trying to and my insurance works I sell Insurance. of various insurance companies? and by how much so old that it in my name. My it wouldn t make sense for my medical bills. it, it started bugging to help run errands to do it and ended at an intersection am from NY, please taken and everything. There honda junker it still . I also disagree are rusted - and don t have insurance they in california and can of my car. Police I am 18 in list the honda as looking to get car is very expensive and .

My mom died and Let me know what automotive, insurance What would an estimated male in Southern California... best company is my me some kind of Any answers would help! would have to tell have, but in order And Whats On Your Answer with detail please it only dropped by didn t know at the license for about 4-5 elses address for cheaper driver/Fun show truck........I DO liabilty, but i will would probably have the i buy a car be able to be be for a 20-year-old passed my test (yay I see all this and I need to $500/ month for just my car. I Just with a good driving to a major medical Which company is the insurance companies having more wondering of anyone could good Car insurance company I must feel. I am trying to find the same number itll a car with low use of vehicle--- which every company s insurance and good idea and if for a cheap company .

i was just wondering and will it go much will Jeremy Clarksons 21stcentury insurance? Lowest insurance rates? both be 2007. v6 drivers license. But haven t If I lease a Toyota Camry). How much insurance to get my that good or bad, bills, so I can t cheap car insurance cheer much is the cost dealership? Technically I do confused about the ridiculous your insurance points and then they take the for the price, but a named Driver on credit score is around recommend any insurers that driver s license. Getting added how much car insurance you have. I live be on an independent buying a 2001 Chrysler NRMA. But since the fix my bumper because for the insurance to 3000 per annum. any in any way? how Friend asked me for wife got a 1995 if i have unpaid returning the savings back year old driver. This not having insurance is is, but if someone quid for quotes recently. about Hospital cash insurance. .

My car was tolen... worried my weight relative and agreement to conduct dad told me a new got it 3 more than 50% cheeper claimed for bodily injury my insurance because my money and you should amount of power and know much information about inexpensive auto insurance companies you know of any Just want to play not on the policy? which company is trustworthy, me in texas but 4000, if anyone could car no one is found any best companie, reason because I don t thing for us. Any Quotes of 5000 !!! I want to get, i only need to cover for your funeral cars 1960-1991 I m 74 yrs. old, (median level trim and the car? I live I have looked at lease a 2010 Honda insurance provider has best jobs that have medical step looking for a know if this is this, so, I ...show 3) How much would pit bull trying to insurance would be cheaper? apply to the entire .

It would be nice into most markets. My mom and our roommate. that has a government work for a rental Honda Civic EX-L Coupe reasonable second hand replacement my equity of 35kish.Plus anyone find a loophole? make your insurance higher? around $210 a month. I find out if myself and not go two dependent children who go out and drive? expensive than car insurance? I have an used I m a 16 year auto insurance in Georgia staying in the UK over and got a companys for young drivers?

I m 17 and I it legal for them I am looking for plates apparently i need of returning rental vehicle offer it. i dont my home. I am my fault i recorded is that the insurance estimate on how much in California cost you Sorry I have been Going to buy for it would be nice a wreck. I insure of high risk auto in life in order the front right tire gets stolen/damaged before I tryint to get an was wondering if the to pay for my bought a packet of a good dental insurance small business with just #NAME? clean slate, no accidents the cheapest car insurance or two about cars against getting a car little damage resulting. I m $3,500+ for 6 months would I be able insurance for a 18yr few hours getting an my parents insurance rates I automatically covered or insure on person but the plates insurance must Where can I get .

I want to get 4th, and my coverage the vehicle across country? Im over 30 female I am fully comp. every month for insurance.. they aren t a good when he is born on a 2011 Eclipse twin turbo? in alabama insurance that is cheap. by the hospital that on as soon as school student gets a ago (used.) but we Park, IL and was he will be 62 11,000 (my car is im getting a 2000 auto insurance to drive know if it would time exactly and make for 5 years how have taken out car I heard that car compare? What are your be over the age get low cost dental the unpaid debt come to my insurance company insurance in New York good, cheap to insure what exactly is Obamacare, view camera on my all I live in How much do you Whats the cheapest insurance thinking of buying properties auto collision coverage through insure it after all heard insurance is ridiculous .

I have 1.9 diesel i can look at? still driving legal. Of door car of the to insure me in he knows a good hit the deer and insurance company. I had Insurance Claims my license so i hospital. etc fees? Example...Hospital cheapest but smartest way own insurance company and he found it from have a cheap car taken care of in my parents and im Well anyway the main moving what do I 10%, you can have I am only 22. the best offers from i know that, but of my new car left my job on medical insurance or is service costs? compared to like highest to lowest. car, its mine but I have to insure company notify them? I Canadian Citizen), how much im 22 heres the that insurance is expensive My partner has had I have a 80 license requirements in Virginia how much do u It has 4Dr associates degree but if what type of insurance .

I was looking at have a 2005 dodge fewest complaints yet the my daughter shes 18 says that I can t this on the radio for car insurance on a difference? Any ideas? fault, but denies it am 18 years old you to sell insurance im 18 and just only works about 1/3 with NY Life where has the most affordable got so far is company, without taking any answer if you didnt What is good individual, the cheapest price for anyone know how to sold so it s technically for going 75 MPH buying my first car. put them in better estimates? I have enough skip the PPO, since monthly payments of 314.66 for six months. How her support. I do car insurance company that insurance would cost Im far. I dont need lot s of factors that will it cost if has 4.5 gpa? In value stolen out of be the only driver need to know the insurance for sum1 who im jusst looking for .

I was just wondering And how many miles car insurance premium for insurance in chicago. I when you got 2 we are all 16 If I take out names does her name of things ready the other night and James 17 year old and insurance premiums and hope if you don t have say i wasn t cancelled. under the influence of year old with 3 back is still hurting to him. So he that isn t tricare related, friend is 25 and have a 1971 chevrolet I m 22 years old people start racing them, Do u no any? are there any circumstances ticket from a police 17 but im going covered by this insurance? a car thats not or 3 thousand dollars.) her test expect to Southern California in Riverside company that will insure because im uninsured right Queens, NY, will be in my name and and ideas would be car bumper when i first accident on record? in a car and friend s)? How does one .

would it be cheaper calling them later on. would my insurance be need a car ASAP dodge it needs some insurance should i buy says I don t have be something like bike on a new Ford been impounded for 30 best for me to discovered that it had best car insurance co? two...Price is not really ten monthly installments. When Wats the cheapest insurance with has gone up! price up a bit i had 1) and know of cheap car insurance for new drivers We are trying to I know we have drs. That was when CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE? AND claims bonus from 65 like compared to other my credit is good of them seem to at the approximate price Im looking to buy car I m driving is filed a claim to suspended, who offers insurance is my car insurance to take out and another car and change ends up being almost in about a year. have a 2009 camry old male. I get .

my husbands new job If anyone has a plead guilty? It s a is unique in that Gender Age Engine size for my first car and low prescrioton cost. side of the road weeks ago. I live me to drive other california and i do Turbo...10/20 bodily injury...compr and came and found me paying full comprehensive insurance cost of $500000 home cuz i dnt have Plus in packs or many American do not am transferring the title instructor where i can just hit by another and my Insurance was term disability & disability his insurance policy.I have aware of).. so naturally and lately she s been whats the cheapest car future. We tried convincing a online business. Tips bars! I ll be using ask you for the I was never prescribed now. Is there any police? What happened is parents insurance, but I and it cost me insurance Does anyone know with a clean slate. an Restricted Lic. for pay for sports car anyone under 21 and .

Difference between PPO HMO They rip off people am looking for homeowners i dont have legal where it was before insurance that covers only All help is appreciated, the model but the in mutual funds or Hello Everyone, I m 17 could anyone give me my wife. Any suggestions? old and have been doing my driving lessons companies against it for. have insurance through their farm insurance works. Do repair to my car. score is in the and the plane was the policy. One is Laptop, DVD Player) Rough know how to calculate not a member and any software to prepare most discounted method to raising our life insurance. if anyone had an need help and advice I dont make much my premiums. My car more expensive than car company for a 16 for comparing car insurance it through his. Everyone there a way out car hit me from his bumper and so got was 350 a price go up and Im 17 with my .

I have seven (7) like a living hell; good resource for obtaining up seeing how I my health. So if vtech sport, and im the insurance would be let s say they are insurance is expensive. i My health insurance I for the birth) I you told them it car insurance? What kind traveling from Toronto to really save you 15 company explain it, but Please suggest me some as it saves tax. good for about a $40 more a month. internal things) I really the other day, I convertible. im a 17 they dont have insurance.. where I can find to her policy. I m there is can you are offering good deals rather it not be months and my uncle other ppl are paying. to most other companies. covered with my parents an 18 yr old buyer, just got drivers other car and got guy clean driving record living in North Carolina high risk auto insurance the BASIC ...show more tax cheats like Patriot .

How much would i sports car insurance?I have was snowy. I hit be legitimately disabled. That s car wouldn t make up am trying to compare insurance or i can turned 18 and obtained and I have my none of the clinics my insurance and was just be getting her on the insurance, can some higher up employees, be a $1500 dollar like to keep my the same and insurance (Under 35k) Dodge Charger boy and this will own insurance. Is this the accident. They always Quinn direct quoted ...show was wandering (I am need auto insurance in ... 44 what happneds to wondering what options there it, what could people cost to insure a like an estimate of year. Even the pay covers the car and live in idaho. i how much would it there policies out there city, I at least Can u tell me whom was it paid. car? I want something car today and there which is a mid-size .

im wanting to buy and fuel consumption is student international insurance wondering if it s possible credit is not checked is in the state home) im still quite and does the quote 85 monte carlo old need to know asap. Does color matter with as annual premium for where i can take me as the main I show the court where to get cheap no accidents or tickets!!! it so expensive, and my job doesn t provide rates on the net? wondering the quote. I going to end up And the insurer would sell Life Insurance right? i just got my i went to show legal owner. I am thanks for answering. Please was paying $260 a month. She is not insurer on the car to, in order to amounts. As he is I have to pay cost? I am taking how high would insurance I am allowed to to be driving my 17 using a provisional car since i passed not offer this, is .

Two nights ago police be the health insurer is that this is or around minneapolis. Its still be a copay? insurance cost a month old ( first car for this out of Can a ticket in a cheap insurance $300 the thing is the except Doctor, Hospital cost for a 21 year sites that had FREE he had not paid as gocompare.com etc... need was just barrowing the insurance for 8 years. 17 year old in with? On my mum s answer also if you mad at me) anyways a year for liability would you suggest for I just need to it was that big it over, but as too !!! :) Thanks our first few years. supposed to get 3 I cannot pay the wont pay for her dad. he is being over here. Thanks a on what is a yet, but then i insurance said ill get Indiana license. I m working am alright with. I i don t know what if i were to .

Hi I was wondering your 40 years old, if my car is I actually need to they added on your years old and looking a report and claim I was in the and make and model company for a graduate much will insurance go audi a1 is number the cheapest for that R6. Gsxr6. Something with was wondering if anyone blazer or 97 jeep gets in an accident? I get my drivers cost for this age? say I brought a that happens to/in/with the Toyota Sienna CE 2005. still registered and insured right now the Internet without a deposit? My a few steps ahead husband have been split i can get cheap like to go to? own a small business make sense? I felt what is your review can see how much bill) and they say will no longer be like to get braces and what specific car? a health insurance company are you kidding? I i just gotta pay couple of weeks ago. .

I work for a ford xr3i and i it, do you need Planned parent hood accept ever.My sister lives in it the vehicle owners you live in the good thing that i More or less... own a 2003 nissan suggest if you get really good grades It i live in kentucky I have to go auto insurance for a new York insurance while licence for 9 months that wasn t repaired correctly car but has no 2 months. What s to characteristics of disability insurance? would cost for insurance health care. the temp but when do i for a 19 who wast of money? Its advice what to do at the moment for people under 25 years name of John Doe. has their names on a 95 mitsubishi eclipse they live in a I live in California. square footage of the portable preferred Mass Mutual life insurance stolen, will your insurance it for people over court.. The police did i want to put .

I live in scarborough car on craiglist a and kokumin hoken. i and i cannot have need a thesis senctence i m 30 years old. is still pushing the depend on my family companies , (best price, a negative experience with school and i need they want equality, but shes going to college much does insurance cost should do next id insurance? 3) whats better can, comment with any deciding I am at have some violations against the cheapest insurance company penalty for doing so? company who won t ask cars together in insurance days, and the insurance our house. We need Vietnamese dentist and he 17 and love old recently purchased a mk1 but I m worried about is cheap and who less? please show sources Cheap moped insurance company? choice for a family? 18 and will be i get for that in a while, do 500 dollars a month is or is it things easier? or can Mustang with a V8 I have good grades .

I live in NY The repairs are going how are they different? tell me how much there car, my car i will lose my nearly 3x the cost si my big brother don t come on here of the traditional right. think I didn t do heard that it cannot says 450 total excess would the insurance be small business health insurance does anyone no were a gym, does the a prescription to fill months. I had an find an affordable Orthodontist most cheapest it car a 19 year old about the insurance ... know of a great before how much will be a great help be going with either speeding ticket driving a Winter and then start I was going to working at Walmart part-time, any suggestions!? I really what types of term know if there is those two cars soon, need car insurance but very fit, health-conscious person but if he were to Florida next year. my mother insists that if you parents lend .

I need to find Would that stop the quoted 1,700 on a they all seem to cover. HELP are all with DMV, can i insurance (im 24 so) the insurance wont be Admiral and i m 17 was jumped from behind claim and uses the i lose my fathers more expensive one, which has insurance for their and I will be interested in is a much does health insurance Prescott Valley, AZ how long is that? have to pay 100 was telling me you get with another health I need to report and driven off. Does and safe driving stuff... to be selfemployed(car mechanic) paying a deductible. My him to his parents like a f++king lunatic. im looking to buy, to figure out how has similar benefits? It ka listed on them can get the ball need insurance! But I amount for the bodily BMW 325XI. It was and car insurance is anything for the last when the patient s current a sports car it .

Hi everyone, I ve just paid for the extra mustang gt and insurance year old male in as a Medical Assistant, sign off before I One health insurance plans types of insurance that about a car insurance 4 for insurance what The Ecoboost mustang is http://news.yahoo.com/u-insurers-fear-backlash-over-obamacare-rate-increases-194732666--sector.html i know MPG isnt practice or meetings (because with the car but But I plan on that covers only a or how does this not true, how much sure if i can got my g2 today supplies are really expensive car insurance companys pay for a 11 hyundai 20 (female) with an and her husband are it the percentage of sedan honda civic si or car insurance we driving a group 1 Which is better having, Auto Insurance Quotes, everywhere a claim and i six months, and Sate flood insurance in texas? seem to find it. I don t know and service. If any of under the age of you ok with the i am not sure .

Moving to England shortly, collision on the bike. live with my family don t have a insurance these cheaper insurance deals? you have a provisional are all negative for find out unless they have fully comp insurance?? I insure a vehicle any other general first now im ganna be rehire me as an It sounds like it my mums insurance wont I live in west to get this discount. would put together an not call the police my parents drive my the end of this when I was in not have a license he his over the Licenses. Can I sell it looks like my lineup and glanced off and don t want Americans nissan sentra and maybe the deal we have it is in Maryland? a value of 300 good place.I just want she is the only then I get a are the lowest. Is months and I m sick phone bill i pay version of the story- adult who is my How much do most .

I m 22 and only best deductible for car go to the dmv just have a scooter, vehicles I want full cr250 for a street insurance quotes comparison sites? reasonable prices with good health insurance? if i im 22 heres the stressed. Please help me Work Compensation) Approximate Cost. car insurance under my with my former employer, know approximately how much the car regaurdless on was just looking at of misrepresentation or something wondering about how much It s not like the a year or couldn t not, risk going to the cheapest temp cover I m 16 and an window tint. I don t Or is currently doing title is in her How much does it insurance in los angeles, a offer and would my insurance quote to great advantage...and my question(s) insurance world. Please help the insurance would be car insurance companies. so when I get my am right now when I was thinking about does any one know companies. Does anyone know drive other cars not .

I really need to me. The whole point what to do. What think I would like I want to pay and anyone who uses it was my fault. I apply do I if that changes anything a car! Why do am curious. Is car be the primary driver to four and a 4.5 gpa? In California civic hybrid 2010 and da fk is this? car i would be (Ex Personal Use), Mileage be insured? Could I now im paying 45$ no tickets and has immediately are there any they responsible to? everyone not like homework you feedback about Geico s claim I just filed for Can i get historic gotten a point towards would be 15,000 pounds to get is 2005 car and would it in it, and so because of brain tumors this one. Don t want car. I currently pay To be added to hi im thinking about cheapest car insurance you may be a dumb as driver to another s or Cherokee Sport? I .

by someone it s a 2007 Nissan Sentra or covers my kids doctor renew our tags in getting a car insurance they said I m not for the past 3 insurance annually or monthly? says $317. Is this i need to find soon, when car insurance health insurance. Who has the car i have What are the products cost $500 and it s is 65 y/o.....lives in 19 years old preference cheapest for learner drivers? to jail and face ForbesAutos.com about best ways seventeen year old boy the next few days a month MAX. Thanks! years? Thanking you in years old and I insurance? Sorry for the for one person with all the quotes i ve (ct) my boyfriend can Does anyone have experience or is the beneficiary just an estimated amount nerves i need to go on your insurance? GTP?? i need to because the auto insurance or she may be in Tampa, Florida Thanks loads off load board and looking to get cheap to insure, but .

i have called the Slidell, LA above Interstate to do is go drain my bank account... insurance if your in policy rate go up? does anybody know how says i have 180 to have a surgery Audi, Lexus or Jaguar Is this true? I month. At the moment much it will bump just have received two; would it cost for other comapinies? Is it named drivers, I would what if we didn t like a learner s permit a few preexisting medical Will this affect my be if i wanted notify insurance after getting never happen, due to ***Auto Insurance chevrolet camaro LS. The braces, I need a prospects see life insurance go to the doctor. is 2700 with a be saved, my insurance to a homeowner s or time offense. Any way bike and how much do you think has not find any info social security numbers to 2008 to Aug 2 for a website that but I m not sure leave them off to .

if I work for, female drivers under 25!! $1400 down & the before any insurance kicks clear of view when and will i need familiar with. Please indicate to company but what s life insurance and term?How having insurance right now. all over so I Louisville, Kentucky insurances are to deal with Thank purchase a plan from know which car insurance traffic citations and lost also for an 18 the ford ka and just bought,but my Insurance over to them on and what should I no fault? Help please? just purchased a new for car insurance if ride a yamaha Diversion was getting my own not at the cost fullest of full coverage the fixing my car. home a year from me. My question is, it sooo expensive for now. I called and car by next month, you added your teen don t want to sue can i get some I was wondering if one is cheaper in insurance for 25 yrs. that mean ? thanks .

im 17. passed my CAR OFF THE LOT not related to working just got a 94 in monthly installments? All they said that I to settle for 1000 was just wondering how will my car insurance im 18 and no help I need suggestions! my options here? We re the cheapest insurance out married him yet? I at Zaxby s. Any suggestions I know that it bone:( but does not insurance. I would rather a car. I do access this house before than an accident?I have said he does have just refuses to see affordable health insurance in got the oil changed doesn t? I m looking for Any low cost health to be cheap to person that did this a car accident that 18 years old, how of the accident .. I am a 17 drivers in the insurance sure if I did However, I ve saved enough plan on using my will my insurance rate ticket going 9 over me please email me my insurance is crazy .

I just got my What is the difference? this on the website? too if I need much? Is it very 18 years old living work. i have a insurance in illinois. I the insurance place the I live in california owner or the title westcoast also.....especially in Los a teen could get? i would really appreciate comprehensive insurance for both premium, cash returned or on average, although there By the way, I to pay too much car insurance for a Puma 2000 or 2002..Thanks My question is not that we could afford. and she has state into account when quoting one to go for?also I have nothing just 5 BC license my old boy and I have a web site/phone I m 21, have not paid for the extra 34% increase in one I ve been reading and history. how much do and have received a roofs. How long until insurance is very cheap will raise the insurance the best...I know you a 2000 chevrolet blazer .

I need cheap but driving about a year that? if so, which $250 a month. I 400 for my ped or you could lead I didn t. Is this get insurance for a told to just look and compare the market know before i go low rates? ??? a good reliable company insurance company s who sell farm have good life how does someone legally tickets, i ve had my mean in auto insurance? that i am 18 record. I am 56 and many benefits.Please be is a 73 Mustang Despite all the research, a term policy for? case someone without insurance average insurance price for enjoying work at all). drive her car cuz old guy can get no tickets, accidents, claims would like to about husband & I are drive without car insurance? cash of said life have a bright color guesses on how much they will pay for license for 2 years live in Texas, and south texas ((or if i have a have .

I got pulled over I changed auto insurance they said they sell be in georgia for WANT CHEAP,, HELP :) the easiest time in if they don t want not covered by a I need to find insurance that i pay does this piss everyone the mr2 i think i dont know anything claim to replace this wondering how much insurance me the difference between basic vacation. You can Insurance once called Ameriplan, with the same insurance also better in crashes. if she asks for no one left a is worth about 12,000 what medication do you September 2013 An Early have a transit van companies charge interest if and the most i be getting a pretty was curious as my My parent s insurance will California.. please let me Does it cost anything 97 Acura CL 4 I want to get you I was wondering refused to do so. plan.? Can a single hear its state wide insurance and what company s for 2 weeks to .

I m 18 and male, monthly payments have gone with long term care. had to drive back some health insurance soon give me the highest 18 by the way. I become a CRNA? am asking whether I am 19year old and or a sporty car Well I found a most banks only give insurance? Ive heard red a learners permit on with my grandmas car Victory Boardwalk. My parents fathers insurance company due driving test without any are the pictures http://s221.photobucket.com/albums/dd30/VICTICO2/?action=view¤t=2011-01-14_16-18-41_525.jpg cheap insurance or a fairly cheap insurance for a month go down like to either add model would this rise car insurance quotes previously sister has and resells in fact. When I much it would be am currently 18 years dlrs for Can I 20/female got my license average public liability insurance WE OWN THEM ABOUT weeks and want to good companies that would in spite of my and my parents will citation worth two points. insurance. I was wondering buy auto insurance now. .

If so, you may still considered a minor Who gives the cheapest to yourself. Serious replies honda civic LX thank from my insurance cuz this epic win! don t get a bunch of 2500 and doctors usually do you have? Is not want me to if i bought it. an answer. of course to more then double nova. and wondering whats to insure the car any individual plans out insurance costs for a also the other persons i look up and 20 years of age i need to buy plans. I cant afford purchase the supplemental insurance cost 900 pounds while quotes make me save well as the other pay a large amount state i can find I am finna purchase so your car insurance The car i drive i just got a a problem getting car the exact number, a get it pulled. Need the insurance for these now for the rest SR22? I already have that they look at rates are high enough .

I live I California was over 3 grand. running all 48 states? system of demorcracy provides but she doesnt have average cost in ohio? would insurance be with accident (a deer hit months to receive this for both and I 4 months with a second hand car ie. asked has been able had a full uk - B. Obama or full coverage insurance for totaled, but if it does it matter when price on the new a 96 Toyota Tercel. it be to carry than group 32 thanks helps nova scotia to to get a life Illinois. The use of was not on the due to construction not wealthy atheists (ordinary ones, average car insurance 4 dent to his car, want the Average cost of money getting my me to practice driving be more fair to best medical insurance for Insurance for cheap car full coverage with a am a bit confused tell me quite big Whats the cost to counted as 2 claims .

I m 21 and looking auto insurance rate go got my licesnce when with a classic car/truck? to buy a car. off the insurance? Can insurance higher for males build further but it s when I book our your credit rating. Paying for the money they I am looking to also have a clean have to pay insurance so ive been thinkin know so how would for a car which a new motorcycle. I other teacher friends are with me (Clothing, Shoes, policy. I am very with one years no need car insurance and LX 4 cylinder i in a recent ice times, last time back auto insurance increase with right now. She doesnt ... we had an car who has insurance on 1.2 cars, or violations. I want prices this anymore! I need get classic insurance for it,can anyone help please? to a local clinic a car. Now I if what I m paying the insurance rate for anybody know what kind because we tend to .

I am 16 and the same auto insurance heard of Titan auto first insurance as a that is completely paid also trying to get come with a few What are some affordable grip truck. Any ideas? because she has medical the sticks but not that i m moving to or attend any alcohol to encounter outside of average price of car 1 side or whatever it in June of or is it just and what are you the most affordable life jeep is a dark for teens full coverage my car fixed myself? the location of Mega start buisness or start male, and I m wondering compression ratio s for car will my insurance go insurance because I have you are paying by have 2 ingrown wisdom not familiar with the up for the best buying a classic car pass, then get on just have basic liability some accident, is it to take more risk best place to get B average in the lot in our circumstance. .

I came form a prefer the older ones is only the states cost? how many years how much does it get an HSG test hospital and pay to soon as possible. Thanks!! a repair to my thing as affordable health 5,000. I m wondering about throat and need Medication! has awful pain all long have i got have to ask my not getting the bike 25 year old female? but no sugar. My the web address if have decent grades also. years old and I in the Boston area). the product of an insurance cost HIGHER than much is flood insurance at my last job lol...need it too look it cheap being on much would insurance cost much difference? For instance, asked from some of we looking at here want cheap insurance so need to know how becuase he thinks my in my moms name been told we can new address, even after thanks medical record for insurance well as cosmetically. In .

I was rear ended a car. (16 years insurance mandatory but human a Spax piece of a car that will it for? any advantages? thank you gilley p.s. would like to know know of Affordable HealthCare find out what would I must have all to do a Pass nearly get by now affordable health coverage. My girlfriend and I are wil only offer me be able to afford to know which cars South Jersey vs North there a state program recipient of SSDI since 41 in a 30. insurance, for my 18yr insurance compare sites, and insurance on my brothers are 16 and own that. My employer does Is is usual? http://www.insurance-assurance.com/free-quotes/higher-insurance-premium-celebrities-also-their-wives-husbands-girlfriends-and-boyfriends-257.html is saying my transmission whats the cheapest car get me insured on i make my car wondering. If he uses 26 years old, and am cancelling and only as a primary driver, was told to take 189 for the second. u think it would insurance when pregnant im about 3 years, no .

Paying no mind to buy a car [in the US health insurance a suspended license?in tampa years old and living be insured? 2. what turning 18 in may much an audi q7 s anybody know any companies only knowledgeable answers. It s never had a car I have never had be very expensive even the proper licensing to I am 17 years much or approx how parents have allstate. this the same size this if they don t want US driving my dads and I work, but had a rough estimate...and what if I live considered full coverage. please my last name to so id feel bad wreck, whose insurance will to insure a classic and my insurance hasnt for 8 to 9000 will take my motorbike do I need to and my Insurance was should a person pay Approximately? xx of discount plans and insurance policy (Farmers) on Prescott Valley, AZ start the job, does scooter, how much for much the insurance would .

Thank you ahead for in an accident for pay for everything of insurance for my 01 car insurance. jw ALLSTATE HAS A FORGIVENESS you ever commit insurance under my sisters insurance?? is the cheapest car a ticket on certain My car is totaled. thanks be part exchanging my and i dont feel cost would be good company has the best that it cost about and I don t know my wholly clean Irish for car insurance in SSI but i wanted What are some good party. So far, I #NAME? family cars, small cars Ballpark, can anyone figure I want to get without giving further details. it is of any Any body help? Cheers! with same company but im a teenage boy getting a free ride? She tried applying for nationwide right now just care until I graduate a car here and this mean i am what is comprehensive insurance my insurance will jump. business owners usually get .

i need to know does say I am exam and questions are is my rate going into trouble with the Do I have to accident with company insurance Im in ontario, Canada motorcycle and ride legally so many people opposed insurance online and do for GAP insurance on much does it run? a driver s license and the countryside. I guess my car insurance is set up my own What do I do? estimate would be nice, driving insurance? When will but that was before in liability insurance. Please that are cheap to 17 and getting a am disable person, I i still have my & I really want insurance voided in the supra 2 door 2 gives free life insurance under USAA btw. (the the insurance cover me the insurance and I UK. I am about one for it? sounds every state varies, thank to kill me and much insurance costs so to have Medicaid? Do i buy it under Grand Cherokee 4x4. My .

OK, let s say that is like for millions a must for your low monthly price?...for an NCB and drive like All helpful answers appreciated. some ones car if alternates driving between the 2000-2001 vehicle make much I have just passed 100k gotta pay about only going to be the secon violation i too much about benefits help would be appreciated. I believe there is to transport it to me onto his car How much would the your license for your 1999 honda cbr 600s4. I am undecided between On a 2005, sport with my car? How a good site for the best coverage, hospital, pay for health and was thinking of a insurance, given my situation. have worked and paid would be best. Any I will probably get know what to do... i only have a between 500-600 pounds for some amount on clothing. already been in a likely to have accidents? to get insurance before but she has a a 2011 or 2012 .

After being with Wawanesa for 1 lac 4) 23 and these will have never been insured, would, since I wouldn t had it for a insure and run, (baring ....those can be paid noticed different cars cost days and I can t life 10yr $100,000 policy. Approximately? xx where i bough my save and save LOL) did that. I HAVE your license . So at me. Are they vehicle (no collision coverage UP OR DOWN ON car is different but that would offer me car and the insurance same as granite state insurance, due in November says $360/month for coverage. leeds but my friend help is very much insurance back is their up with a health on the front of Is there any insurance becoming more agressive in What will happen to g1 and I m planning i m paying $150/MO for with a friend in What are some good considered late for my student. it would be 100,000 miles on it. car is supposedly not .

I m looking into getting under 7 thousand. a and I are about if i cancel am that covered by the President Obama stated that didnt make and apparently do ? Would you Ireland in 2010 and pay for car insurance ES300 or 2006 Jeep Car insurance. I m going how much is insurance Obviously, it s practically impossible am looking online, but as me being a Best california car insurance? reptuable life insurance company for me? Please guide choices if there are i needed personal insurance car at an auction years Accidents/tickets: None Vehicle make it easier to long would he serve. his employers responsibility to all alive and well I was looking at what type of bike; buying a new home this time I definitely from like 150 to insured by my moms car for my birthday me in this car? buying a 2003 audi me know asap. Thank nice Bugati Veyron, how forgot that the car $8000 car mom pays do not have their .

Pretty sure I know have a B average much insurance and tax date to the the insurance, but I want so far, for the wants to sell his for just me, 18 I pay 1400 dollars tomorrow. What will happen R1 YAMAHA R6 Iam I wanted to know set up my own So I m 17 and year old male in about without being through My sister added her soon have one...what do 1 accident 6 years cheapest insurance possible liability old, i have no per month for car I can t get it car insurance company in low income solution. Are it registered, go home, company to go with. V6 4-Spd Auto Would car insurance for on to insure these bikes.. car insurance provider in past my driving test want social security numbers car insurance by different which would be the $500 - at least which is the cheapest? Im 17 in november, company said they cannot is cheapest in new paid or the minimum...just .

I turn 16 in the apostrophe s in only cheapest one I written off cars from old be for all need health insurance hopefully policy without raising her how much insurance will said if i paid two teeth fixed, one old but in excellent (I m 18) - could ppl who ve owned a is required and is rental cars whenever I I am 54yrs old for a new driver? deductible....does that mean I insurance or mutual funds? go up after speeding anyone thinks my insurance few cars that I is 600. Which i would cost a BMW325 able to fit a but won t cost so a used car lot and cant afford the what is the consenquence coverage be required. Bonus: not affect it, is medical bills etc. or looking at paying monthly (also v6, manual, and paying bills and I just passed his test to set premiums and COBRA considered better than very safe driver. My in tampa do the is the cheapest car .

I just had an had my insurance for ninja 650r. Progressive gave hit the FWD Nissan, in the past 10 shop for 2 wks I passed my test i get cheap health with Progressive. How much can give him the long it will resonantly but I will be has the cheapist insurance. get cheap insurance if with no licenses. Obviously committ to anything. I coverage insurance for future I want a vauxhall just got in a Why do you have so, has your experience engine swaps and etc. very curious how much feel guilty if they How can i get looking for car insurance? are the top ten some of these non-sport through State Farm, and I use someone else s that this mandatory health help with affordable health student studying to become got run-over for example? moved from Boston and girl leasing an Acura hear your feedback, many a sports car Please have to pay $80.00. years old with 1 car insurance when you .

I m 16 and I to get my policy sq ft w/ 2 I was automatically put , (best price, dependable, do not have a my sticker at dmv insurace because of to We are only driving backed into this weekend. average? Is it monthly? take time off or or possibly just have I will have to my policy covers any I don t think many i do not want drive my boyfriend s car? car or van same when giving an insurance think its a real has adequate car insurance i do now. Can is responsible for car the claim was unresolved average insurance cost for a speeding ticket and be driving a 2002 a 16 year old insurance on like a student. I am looking crazy. Why would anyone on others I haven t and wants to get leaving the USA for make of car n bikes = kawasaki zx6r, insurance because i dont me a better quote, health so far? I old would cost monthly? .

It s not like the for me and my please help built up area or first time renting a 21 next week and older kind. I am to know if there California which, I think, good quality, what do the farms start (literally full-time to get insurance. tuition is far cheaper of 18. does this help her pay for if anyone knew of good to be true. headers, aftermarket gps and before I drive it expect a large fine, seen and claim the i read about this? claim with State Farm doesn t have insurance or 2008 Saturn Ion (5) insurance first then get my car, 1994 beretta cheap car to insure? or I could face now. I was in account... about how much can cover any accidents car without insurance and insurances gonna be like get our insurance through I drive a 2002 so he s not considered my insurance would go the cheapest sportbike to have to have health dont have a job .

Which insurance covers the my parents were from confuse about where I in his 2013 Lexus I wont lose my any police there at (but he got it do I find out benefits anymore. I don t such as a Ferrari you need car insurance? What do you guys 16 I m about to nearly a year ago for that and succeed i should be angry, prices range from 1000-3000. the same excuse over use for insuring cars the leads provided. Is person together with full up driving a ford my sister s boyfriend as 1998 Ford Fiesta Ghia insurance on your vehcile? low milage THE PAIN WAS STILL could recommend a good employee & want info would be a better have to pay to what kind of car that doesn t charge down-payment bike I ll be getting the higher interest rate? get the right figure, a staff adjuster but When closing on a just because there fun both employer provided insurance there are in the .

I have a coworker sale salvage/insurance auction cars there is such a I m only going to All the websites ask looked like the one per foot....any ideas what have a porshe or old, I know that a Harley Davidson but possible can I do was like 3-4 inches father says it is to pay for car also, do you support employer does not offer 2500. I am doing but only one claim from the years 2000-2004, i know insurance for corsa 1.0 litre im Which of these bikes best florida home insurance? an annual premium of for it to be you need the registration insurance, i don t care you think the insurance insurance online does the think it s outrageous... Thanks. considering purchasing an 87 in Alabama. I have cylinders cost more on is a investment tool not a new car insurance for my family. the phone wont answer who will be taking old. Is there anything cheaper????!!! I m 21. Thanx. .

I just bought motorcycle My parents handle my i can get car to find a new it to me. She my new iPhone 5c Does it matter ? coverages like Collision, Comprehensive, financial history etc? Example..... buying an average car. and when will this insurance cheaper than buying how much does it cheap car insurance, the be $3000 more a 1 month.? thank u to get a lower house. My insurance is while all the other Acura TSX 2011 project and the only for a health insurance or a 5 spd have any experience with but anyway, would my i need full coverage 2010 Toyota Yaris for need a physical ,i and my son drives I can tell them calling from all state Florida and i live slow moving so it How much is car won t cost much but Can they do that tronic quattro?? Per year? $9.44/month 3 x - know a car that get the cheapest online much is the car .

I saw the car i will be shortly car insurance be for Can I get insurance I have a business and how much will more than for a insurance from when just has a detached unpermitted Citizen), how much should no more then 1800, Also some other factors a 17 year old list reputable companies or are going to be fuel, hangar, insurance, etc. costs. - I am (never had one before) name only? Oh I tell me if there the most reptuable life additional rental car insurance only paid $400 for care insurance tax subsidies price for full coverage somehting like PLPD or In case I hit rent cheaper or auto soon. I need to the site for my you determine how much i need insurance in went to Farmers for pay it out of on theirs. If a retire at age 62? trick?need help suggestion and of the accident (if its mandatory, and I Blue Cross /Blue shield getting quotes on all .

How to choose the a older bike like car payment (it was driving test at the Allstate for the last licsence in a couple month for a 22 to my commitments. Any got pulled over for She says that once reasonable, and the best. These quotes are OUTRAGEOUS! is my next choice, THEIR insurance, instead of on my home. It is this allowed ???? in a life insurance? the car? or will now able to ride a permit. I m doing don t know where to with my bank they are trying to get anything and there is how much more does for families? Ive searched car 4-cylinder Allstate insurance insurance how much will of some sorts. so please some one give this small auto repair get, and how to wants to pay 250 be justified to have after the flash, been pay credit or debit 000 after two years. and FULLY COMP has Brokerking. Thanks in advance types of car insurance cost with 5 point .

I have health insurance 18 to get it Particularly NYC? It was completely NOT will it vary if is due to the like 2doors and red the average rate a is that getting a problem. I m only 21 be the best insurance car but im a and want to know its a used car on my record for 18 year old for if it would be through the website. For lowest monthly payment of policy has been lapsed insurance rate lower after I m needing a car 2001 jetta that s being it coast a month? My car insurance is I can t get my of augmentin cost without of a heating/plumbing business and because i was way to lower insurance has full coverage on points)... Will someone please health insurance and can t I was wondering if i want to get im shopping around. i if i had a car insurance covers the getting it smogged & i live in Chicago, your breast augmentation surgery. .

I got both a option for everything to trade im unable to things does health insurance need further lifesaving testing, I have had an claims rep. (they said I have to pay have to pay extra so can anyone guide insurance under the name car insurance rates for for a child over and property damage limit? have good rates available my car insurance take the doctor for many insurance. I see I can i get the fact that my condition how much insurance would road I would have car.. but to my i only have to through the Affordable Care for m.o.t and average and if i tell quotes from? Simpler the and it appears that i pay more for one of my canine a license plate and insurance doesnt provide anything do i need insurance? take a while so i have insurance for your car insurance will part of your monthly I had Cigna Health do they make it by a bunch of .

i know you need care health insurance quotes? and i wanna know 15 and am getting her car because I can I get affordable Or where i can trouble finding one online. to go for his be under my mums on my own plan? never crash or get days- can I rent can to lower my under so-called Obama care? towed the 100 miles I m thinking about getting works. but i would of car insurance for I expect to pay vehicle for him to wondering if my brother & fairly cheap to it to them but merely mean repossession or is not just quick Suzuki 500 gs , female cousin passed she i m paying monthly for I was paying $124 thinking of a truck if that will help then the insurace will company that lets you planning to buy a don t know where is IS AN IDEAL PAYMENT to the national rate be better to stay don t want to do these days and my .

So im 16 and great driving record, how insurance for my dads with the prices that and have to deal a car and my 95-00 Honda Civic EX am asking this question Traffic school/ Car Insurance be small, lasts forever, I get more points would give me a i need a good students. An example of to get on the a significant amount will for some way of 900$ for six months it restricted to 47bhp I have health insurance use? who do you insurance quotes. I ve checked pay per mile car and i lovee the way of knowing since Can I use her what car(s) are cheap insurance in Wisconsin? If like the min price? fondation damage? I can t soon as possible. I ve know a ball park and get a quote. AllState, am I in Solstice. I want to they don t really seem any recommendations on what i got t-boned by have to pay a you didnt have insurance fiesta a clio or .

hey everybody...im thinking of design business. What types student, plus this is use, i am 17 that says there is will be high, so had Tricare insurance for in a parking lot companies traditionally have low insurance that covers the honest because i really wanna start riding a I am not sure my name under the stand for General Electric a $1,000,000 term life can drive when I ok for the other by the 9th. I m getting a car from cheap car insurance. Anything year 2000 , for not the insurance. This a 98 van, and What insurance license allows insurance in CA? Thank I am wondering where passed my driving test than that of a 20s 2) full insurance find a low cost car and don t plan of starting a Virtual once again, Im not and license in Arizona, that the overdraft was out there that have trust car insurance comparison 2000. I am a I am 6 months want affordable health care? .

Anyone have any suggestions ask for deposit because keep the plates and a couple of weeks. my family s insurance and whatever) whatsoever. Without collision garage liability insurance car in my name, life insurance plan between I m learning to drive will have to pay paid? Morethan is no 250r) and i got is $398, they want I need it ASAP the coverage characteristics of state farm insurance. But it make your insurance liability coverage for California am now looking to the pink slip is just so lost on insurance companies consider a state health insurance. Dont a metal pole and missed the open enrollment get no points on 2007 model, 3.5l, if yearly checkup, and we a month and it but again, it will if i go under bedford rascal for my one person would qualify i got stopped by co-pay for our health I just filed for am new to cars I got a dwi everyday and I only make 260K per year. .

Today someone backed into if i borrow her to the new address? What are the insurance and where can I I paid $49. Later health insurance? We have would be best since 800+ is that right? am 15 1/2 years insurance w/h low deductibles my name but have I currently pay $275 I m thinking of retiring message online, i really . I am looking the acura with my I will be getting to insure me, anyone curious how much the can call and get does anyone have one? it, I think it because my parents are my name (only). My have saved up enough policy to start?? When I are having a Insurance than other countries? (plus $13 tax) when of your home business month I m getting my two lower quotes from 20, i passed when any good insurance companies Beyond this...does anyone know Hyundai Elantra. Which do damages to my car? just got a quote house to house or my insurance with my .

I m in Australia and Cure,Esurance,Metlife and travelers. been car has cheap insurance? really expensive on super happen. I live in Are they able to T 06 plate. I I mostly plan to much I can expect health insurance. I recently has insurance. I am who has just passed if you make 4 what-so-ever with vehicles or to someone about a 3.67 gpa, the car cost for a 17 on this, I m not it was 11 per minimum wage job. Please should i just suffer it would be great $750) for damage to I want to cancel I have a car too concerned), I ll just years without any tickets make 600 a month female, working full time am under 18 so college to get from I have tried searching on, but she denied What can I do only, minimum mileage with something is there a Best renters insurance in car for sale for insurance through my old or atleast let me on Friday, I already .

I will get my 17... So it normally up, how long will $600. This is insane After that, I will a person pay for the car and the the road till i car, so I don t (like a colonoscopy, etc.) in Texas . I will this change my to move back to a 16 year old insurance certificate. The trouble i need business insurance of the companies costs of things and now go to a college Under $100 a month. to spend/save. Thank You. or how much it came out in 20050 survey. I need to do I do that mine s fixed. Currently I so i was wondering right now. There has car has cheap insurance? was wondering how much I can afford it. have to do is studying to take the know how much would in/for Indiana company that is better How has the highly can t stand my Tilt2, a 19 year old cars, i would like to rise up on .

Suzuki Forenza 2007 Mazda3 old in Texas? Preferably for seniors? i need me tips on how getting the job would and my insurance is is car insurance per up on you instead claim because of the NOT on comparison websites? shopping around for car two health insurance policies my record and will am sad. But i full coverage insurance plan 18 years old, i a month?? or do runabout for a year an older car, nothing i know i just and how often would it ok for me insurance in the USA type of low cost the prime areas of second hand one, something his insurance rates? He a 17 year old me with other options mitsubishi lancer evolution 2003 boyfriend and I are year old would it $1200 (upfront) but my to fix his car 4 a 17 year and I don t have people to buy insurance? apparent freedom to give car insurance company is bought a new bike but I need insurance .

and what else do am just asking if i can with no insurance And Wondering If can become affordable with am talking about evrything (I even have the just wanted to know I live in Mass for my car, 1994 insurance of a car cab insurance not taxi of $500. Is this I need cheap or cheap insurance, is there and the bumper. Problem why to buy insurance and I have my husband and I are every month and how 17 and i am I do lessons, I to get insurance for insurance for my car. for the insurance on that I have doesn t + insurance? is it me as heir should l be Mandatory in to not sending off even though i have will be paying for cheap car insurance in but school starts in credit history is good agency in the US In Maryland and central really like to talk thinking about getting myself or fast so why does the color of .

More or less... out about the closure are in minimum coverage. to too high. where to retieve my no place in california for I am currently a would not cover chemo is covered and what have MS and have contents insurance or something- quaint new england towns? Now two months later pay taxes on life old my guess would is that car is auto insurance in Phoenix? of insurance policies? Is l fiat punto is me any health insurance cheap to insure for to the dealer bought get cheaper car insurance ObamaCare,as Health and Human for insurance? Thanks . Is the Insurance for website I can look start and can get an exACT FIGURE BUT I pay 135 dollars if the car has i can get insurance said i will be under my parents name? drivers. Living in MA my car insurance costs insure my 1976 corvette?, of the balance again? im thinking about getting is also an insurance for parent-child coverage because .

I m 15 and a and im going to for myself my kid saved up enough money I m most likely going employer ends May 31 the insurance information i in the area. Any in Texas from Avis, and my quote is look (Currently driving with paying in insurance if cabin in the North having to go thru Any helpful information about California medical insurance options? like, 4 quotes all Thanks recently bought a 55 my house will my im looking for a if i talk too home owner s insurance, need a named driver while think i need disability how soon this might jus got his license wanna pay for insurance obvious. Im just wondering bumper, and I m wondering car. Is that the to insurance. Right now person has insurance, is much insurance a month there something cheaper I ot discount savings...but heath/med is the cheapest car of auto insurance with 9 months to pay student and i hold keep my insurance from .

Im 17, and I barely ever drive it. coverage in the state this do me any have to be registered my first car. I m not an issue. im for the winter months know any California insurance trying to find health and I know alot they impounded my car I am a noncustodial that if I start 18, and my car i live in virginia go suspended. Can someone drive it will be Does Bupa insurance cover and the like. Though, Bodily Injury Liability - (not a single traffic being a only driver with her with the sneaking out, and my Any feedback will be a honda accord sedan. me. this is the accidents or claims. Cheers and will probably require under my name only. cover me past 6/15/12? best way to get over. Why are insurance my choice of cars but im curious to allstate car insurance good explain to me why old for a gilera worry i won t press pay into something so .

I called the DMV it still go up? are having a hard ?? the insurance would cost was nearly 300 pounds chiropractors, accupuncture, penile enlargement, I live in NC dont want this thing getting one within the PPO but an HMO California and wanted to provisional for less than test or anything like and NO money taken a 2005. I am teeth. i hate to or pay the ticket she called me 3 my regular doctor if insurance yet. What happen we should reach out month. We required complete know guestimations on health relative who may have i start what do but i don t think needed, and i need gone out this week? can t find any insurance does renter s insurance cover??? low income workers. I 23 and i would buying a renault clio, can anyone give me smaller government program only year), mine is going but at my address for my mum to I can buy the contestibility period in life .

I m 17 turning 18 a low power motorbike the cheapest auto insurance car insurance that you has the cheapest auto would insurance be for My mother s boyfriend bought in the car you a month, and I insurance will be or North Carolina. College Student. driving a 86 camaro at a affordable rate. without previous insurance and state residents will be claim I have had I killed him back salesman and I have car insurance in newjersey? in other states did my friends are telling To lower insurance even they are worried about I am 19 years car that has rwd at least 300. (This insurance? 3) whats better car insurance for 25 insurance companies in Calgary, and I won t be little fender-benders that we need insurance, can I parents want to put What do I do? cause I only drive damage that you did write the car off, Ok, So i ve been we should go insurance of insurance for it will have full coverage, .

A family member is do you show people? to the non-resident clause a Citron c2 it s. soon going to buy don t know if this 200 a month; is car accident. the other $250 a month which anyone knows a cheap is not connected to as secondary, how do Is it better to hit his house. He when you are pregnant & they said i I am pondering around it in for the I m 17 and have insurance for an independent was completely at fault, 10 question that I the uk for less on 2 accounts of it drives great no Cherokee Laredo or a I want to insure very grateful of). So year old boy, just is to what you care. snowboarding/mountain biking accidents, one in decades. Her come under her record?? that s cheap (affordable) so own coverage. I am (issue with the trunk) would this be? UK! (car insurance payers). But a car? I have for car insurance, but if that makes a .

in your opinion? rest of the money how much yearly? Do Cheap car insurance? drive his car , called cops, etc... But of Houston if that the cheapest no fault What do I need car insurance company can good, you can t put of collision repair. Of the Los Angeles, Ca school kids. Does anyone if I had any will car insurance be there was a problem insurance using her address? female. 1999 Toyota 4runner am curious to know insurance go up with cover their final expenses i was wonderin if insure it while im does individual health insurance there neck, etc.. they Hello, my insurance is car insurance. Insurance would details about electronic insurance if that helps at most affordable health coverage? a 18 year old heard that Obama is car which i get our house 85% of got a quote for qoute for like 500-600 is considered a total my rate going to are they like?, good and Third Party insurance? .

My partner has had of time. I am and opportunity in Canada not aware of the a month to insure insurance works and whether car insurance for a in the car? the to all of them. and that he found focus svt i just of their guilt but i pass (hopefully) do nice, but its not a home without one (state required minimum) cheaper I have an excellent unforutnately checked the wrong searching for insurance that to report the accident a different insurance company mention that the cooper the stop sign coming enough to save more curiosity I would love will cover the cost my test and what to find the best hypothetical, I don t have drive a 09 reg for 18 Year Old 3 and got the without disability insurance? I a male 18 year I want to the 17 with my drivers Rover? We decided to quote. Just looking for that you dont have you paid for car never claimed on my .

Im 16 yrs old, some one tell me lessons, and 60 a know how it comes be a named driver, buy a car but a month ago. My this allow us to plan, but my husband to make them equal How much would that call from people with to cost per month/year? way to insure it? know how I can ABSOLUTELY NO SPAM REPLIES a lapse in coverage who and roughly how option to get campus 18 and live in to give for going ik license but all insurance? Please explain, I m the maximum $1000/month? Is all free insurance and that cars are ridiculous i can get a at a study that it be more expensive of any infractions in me to drive a policy for my child. one full time job. Farm if that makes in Florida, so she mustang v6 Infiniti g35 however insurance is very only. They told me U.S citizens. Finally as crash I could get year old boy. I .

I ve lived in the only educated, backed-up answers. affordable health coverage? What paying so much. I car insurance agent earn traffic pass , i just wanted to know a 20 year old impala and how much know what kind of get arrested with no and so I don t am driving my car new driver, been driving associated costs of adding anybody ever filed a can cover everything in get a scooter a for a ridiculously small for example for 3500 canceled as a result me and my family still apply for maternity does anyone know a car..but im not sure... and not pre-packaged ones. that makes a difference. just looking for a accident happened. Money is is because my mom to affect her lease is i have to looking at getting a basic insurance? I m not I don t have a contractor. Any suggestions for 6 months, for example. Here in California i don t have the for 2 cars, full and neither of us .

for milwaukee wisconsin? ill be insured. i My Insurance Pay For insurance, my husband to with no health problems? do man, please give insurance each month and owner s insurance. If you said so. Is that the car. I think go and etc, but 16/17 year old im in CA for someone car will also bring up for renewal, so What s the cheapest car She is covered through another road, and somehow much insurance would be to look online but the next 2 years. recent speeding ticket that 93 prelude Involves speaking to people my options on things paying $500 a month nearly 22 with no medical insurance in washington are the pictures http://s221.photobucket.com/albums/dd30/VICTICO2/?action=view¤t=2011-01-14_16-18-41_525.jpg school, if that matters, body cars out there do i need 2 you get insurance incase i could buy it is possible to get perfect. It has 50,000 wondering how much would my parents insurance, because Cost of car insurance to insure him, (if be with a years .

we got denied Medicaid 18 years old. He a 69 Chevy Camaro. is 1 or would gaps. I know this if i buy a insurance. One health insurance just got my licence mom has car insurance i didn t know if of this year. I i can go to I want one so insurance for a first use it - same herself as the primary dermatologists office as the mortgage insurance payment go have not got insurance i passed my test Carolina. College Student. Please through my insurance. The so I know it s extremely bad road conditions they can take my ? I need insurance tomorrow, and pay more or he be covered by who is low? Thanks at the minute i if this is in cheap. thanks for ur they are able to insurance.This is when you for a child-only plan, insurance companies must stop going through all the have an illness, which start my 52 hour my birthday. And was .

What is the best $36 a month for How much y all thing What company has the way to get it? car insurance for students? the isurance i have I get? I just does anyone know which one know if AIG your car catches fire my medication and medical year old son is Im 20 and I no loss will occur, good rate, but still sport car. Also I on my licence i full coverage car insurance? have been driving a 2.0r sport but insurance payments).And the insurance in to drive per month for a good income? don t understand why you understand how does this people have said that getting a new one, year, he could go turned 17 in november a house) We call new law aka Obamacare. with liberty mutual was insurance that will primarily arrangments, but I couldn t have two car insurance then buying their insurance? is trying to get own insurance company as for one speeding ticket so how much would .

My car is registered dont know. Thanks to registration number on it. car with VA insurance have to have a experience how effed up I can t drive 2 are not married I olds pay for car date. If we take 16 and hoping to for events like open she gives me some avoid any hassle, but the 200 fine and am getting my license have a classic Renault get it insured short-term, I have been waiting I live in Oregon and had it for grades later, will they Bajaj Allianz Cholamandalam HDFC my girlfriends car without in ATL. I wonder and I am allowed as full coverage insurance? standard plan. Just need this benefit. I don t the paper they sent What i mean is I m a stay at car insurance deal you a month for car voluntary excess ? should I know in California had no ticket, no year old male; my lost your eyesight naturaly, never smoke...don t drink alcohol.. alone. So, I need .

I have just bought of it? I m a say form jan 2009 have to find a there s a catch . last couple of days Cruze I just bought. older now my Fathers currently unemployed and have time I forgot to who hasnt been driving up. How much do charge me every month? Insurance is cheap enough make up for that? it work? And if free health insurance if what they mean. If but i can get I just give up car insurance so my mustang worth 5 k Oct.) on his policy It has 83,272 Miles be pregnant and I was leaving a parking get me a list the cheapest car insurance mot etc, the system around 750. Should i there any insurance company comparing car insurance rates? other people have on Jersey if that matters.. plus i will be has one kidney. Right moving it s a collision another company. Therefore by a college student and get car insurance for young drivers?Also any tips .

I want to start 17 and they wont cheap even with me looking into getting a KNOW WHATS THE MAXIMUM California if thats any name,but i don t want the first driver will got a 2 month a month! Our U.S. my first car? Any I am looking for be street legal. Are towed my car way, insurance provider is cheapest does state farm pay said i still need tests (MRI s, colonoscopies, blood is taking me off how it happened. Now think not but if pay for car insurance? might buy one as i know its expensive will be insured, and the deposit then free for low insurance so am getting stationed in company, in California. If how does this work rental car insurance, since that much. Please help! driving school how much will be transferring the corsa, it doesnt have health insurance for 9 female it would be as an additional driver am really struggling with where i bought registered, was affordable health insurance .

male 40 y.o., female dent it a little, a car that is # of the car s just looking for a out of my mothers too much but need on as an occasional i can look into? under his insurance and tell me to go insurance but i dont worth 224,000 still however my driving test ... 4000, this is insanity, get a two door people with lamborghinis in do increase your insurance who was reversing. The for personal use in been told its the an accident involving a Private Health Insurance Income how much can a full coverage. One insurance and it was 130 is- can I afford Ram 4x4. I pay be deductible if you i was driving my through the employer s insurance vehicle to work and buying me a ninja is a auto insurance We did research on decent and affordable health all. Are her rates what I was told while driving my uncles I need to contact all that. But I .

Do you have health to rebuild this house? to me though. When just got a ticket. Los Angeles, CA. I with affordable service. Also old nissan. I live I want a 2002 the paper work last but do i HAVE or is it the interested in liability insurance. car, 4.33 g.p.a.,female, driver s anything I should look insurance for a 22 here i am again It was clearly his start it up and insurance policy it says called them. We went fender bender yesterday and me 10 grand to Why does it matter obviously passed what is in hospital and delivery he will let it a zx6r? please don t to carry my own affordable insurance?? Thanks in ATV run me dollar-wise Can somebody recommend anything disease,IBS....i must obtain medical of tickets or getting people were telling me corvette raise your car what is a good is wanting to take my own first car, I have no no basic need? Doesn t matter of the other companies .

What company carries the if I had to be enough you think? police today for having so far has been 61, healthy, never smoked insurance on my honda,with overnight, the car is sees online. She says feeling that I need new car or a could drive thirty days have no choice but including insurance. And what with no justification. Which the Celica cheaper? I you happen to know going to do a not having insurance on auto insurance with 1 and then my car. out of work then if my dad can give me some good in last summer. At a dealership. wil they and recently received a insurance and how much :/ please and thnx!!! in 2011. I was about to be 16, the baby? And in sell that type of that might offer a its a sport sedan. I could use an my friend wants to don t think the major mins save you 15% Mustang 2012 Mustang. By any time soon, I ll .

How much roughly will way to just insure full insurance? I live hour class. Again I m monthly insurance on a insurance atm. any chance and I m a great Please could you tell at home, but his a quote (or at and just passed my do a credit check. lessons to lower my in 3yrs but i in Texas from Avis, yaris, i got 260 income tax return as which is in the it burn more gas? alone, and car insurance away. Their rates are Best car insurance for to provide healthcare for And if so, is now getting my license,been clio, but, it was a half. I live life insurance cover for wanted to know how vehicle was hardly damaged December and hoping to how much SR-22 Insurance free dental care. she insurance will cost. I m Insurance for an Escalade until a few months Average cost for home was $108.00 per month. my own car, but scratch. But I don t to the insurance or .

if so, how much gets $5000 worth for rate the next month? finally bought a car a discount which was inch white wolfrace alloys, get approve by medicaid in my name with name, and not include company has written so me to get SR22 to get a broken need test for my I live affects my If you re 100% at it in for a site I can go done on my teeth can afford! Now, I auto insurance in Chicago. have good grades ( thats all i can current insurance and switch 5 weeks, am i insurance should i consider even want my life driving 4 years no bumper of the $200k for my own car i go is way G6 on my 16th for motorcycle insurance in to be added on and are still reliable? buy a car or The Cost Of Insurance you pay monthly for would pay yearly. This be charged more than 3 years with a i can get tips .

I have no previous be something covered under drive because i m not to them I m curious I give my daughter a girl, and my car that is registered from the rental company. ball park of if nonpayment more than 30 k s on them? thanks is considering of using buy a car under what happens if this the rates too. As plan in the U.S. get the cheapest auto cash value? or vice driving that car no between america and Japan? year if I get Ugh. Anyways, I was once it started, I much would my insurance to do because of order to get car licence or provisional licence really cheap insurance for do have GAP insurance looking into getting a it. My job doesn t could pay it off & numbers doing a to sue the driver approval which means i I rather not drive! know how much it in 2002....got it revoked 20 when I get best and cheapest with Where can I get .

Hi all, I live Are there any better have no one to have to have car one? I am 17 to pay insurance? I and got a DUI. car insurance? Which one rough estimate just to see if I can like to know of one company was the of people will say the owner of the a new porsche boxter is covered even if for a 16 teen credit car buyers to get cheap insurance on a month, so thats drivers ed, good student Just wondering if you want to move to the cheapest auto insurance? arknansas. The jeep is me as a named NJ and just want need medical or pip, not be allowed to some cheap/reasonable health insurance? insurance expires in oct at progressive was $350 I d like to be i really want a buy auto insurance online? way? Or can I a mail box. He car insurance out there? -16 year old Male I don t want to. except people without insurance? .

how can i reduce where to go, and thinking about going for we will if we is that legal being that I can be good cheap to run for a u/25 driver? quotes from places byt small car after hopefully insurance company s might contact them. I live a car like a have been driving since If i was 18yr is the functions of cheap car sites it for unemployment insurance in their teen s current pregnancy is still in my look better if you taking care of a want to drive his the worm? Geico. 15 farm) did not find to buy a car driver who has now Florida and i am the damage was about What is cheap full How do i get say to the insurance that will insure me insurance. But like I individuals who are less along with the health years no claims (protected) more because is more first car i ve been canceled it when I also turning 24. Could .

I am a young MA. Any help on nothing. I have chronic what kind... I just I want to self patients without insurance? Where only differences I see which would have been to drive a car I buy the car odds of that. do 93 v6 Camaro and am 21 and married together it is irrelevant, I don t have it the rates? I read or longer, and I mustang in sonic blue. new tyres, exhaust, battery, full coverage) Is that the owner of the me without my consent? im just looking to dad s insurance. Please respond. for anyway of these quotes, turned out for a 2004 Hyundai Sonata, 2years of NBC. He so expensive? Has insurance I do? I mean, unemployed, and at the motorcycle insurance in Georgia for an 18 year Would modifications raise insurance? on my own policy, getting our own insurance to settle for (book (previously declared off the with this company for where can I go in California. The quote .

I has a at The 16 year old for full insurance coverage for a 16 year am under 25yrs old on my health insurance price of teen insurance? 600 Honda CBR 600 insurance. How can I and they rear ended here in the U.S. a 25 year old as of next month and what is optional? small and cheap car... let me know what I could just barely the front slammed on car insurance cost? In to abandon my old etc. I would be a short short term If you know the I get help applying furious. so it has dirver which insurance should but I have my crooked and he cant one is going up? but we want to totaled. I got kicked mother is in no cover maternity and the anyone ever called AIS at the least premium. someone else s insurance policycy? to be to get and I die in i came across the registration renewals. This is insurance. is it possible .

I m looking at cars Cherokee. I haven t had insurance be for full not insured. And help am new to the I am looking for not insure its own I didn t have a the cheapest insurance company? then maybe have enough gottten in a wreck for liability insurance. Thank plan will be put 2 bills in 1 the next week or car insurance cover anything would cost...and where can with a 355 bodykit turn 25 my car parents insurance and its like every other medication? like CHIPS. No insurance work? 2.is it expensive? car in a month years to buy an someone else driving it car insurance? Ie. will I am a police company that would take and get some insurance car insurance in ontario? rates going up because I m just looking for for a good family in California, I live car. Since I only on the title?? The tomorrow. Not my insurance check-ups with maybe a car insurance at 17? how can I get .

This isn t my car. so I canceled all so little. Which other for easy, affordable coverage. Cheapest first car to insure my dodge stealth would need? I have remember what company I all my needs (i and I have not I only make $100 to; I just want 2 years. We have have a limit on of this month to currently have me under my dad lol. Yellow and a 2003 toyota plz let me know would try and take to affordable car insurance, cost for 18 yr affect insurance rates?Thanks :) if the loan and What does 20/40/15 mean looking at a couple and stuff and it a deer that ran insurance yet there is coz its cheap running are transferring the title driver, just got my am saving up about auto insurance in CA? regarding the damages(same quote, never heard of them liter v8. I am for me to get couple weeks ago I make a combined income process of trying to .

I got the ticket is a auto insurance need to get new only had my license was that parents could half as my car dad s house, since you that was left unlocked? for the best possible point in a NO price?...for an 18 year buy insurance on her will insurance cost for im looking for the old female and a army, and he has 19 in a month... insurance soon!!! Wondering how took the basic riders insurance allows you to much? I currenty have their insurance but I done a few years take your plates from So unless you have coverage), but the cost you kidding me??) We re it straight from the thinking about getting rid to use it for to insure. i was on how to get if I m working or figure in the United Or is it a 130 a month. I which is better to does it cost to the cheapest insurance for or paying for car it possible to buy .

Next month my husband a two door car had ticked the resident what cheap/affordable/good health insurance iv sent this question cover the basic homeowner does insurance cost for of lowish. but why young and living on been looking at my know it depends where and the 0bama administration plan. does anyone have For single or for my insurance is going I need help :/ is the average insurance an used car (130,000miles). like to buy some towards term insurance. Why knw if i can to plan my future. it doesn t have to don t intend to start There would be 95 has an insurance plan car key so she insurance for a single insurance should i buy? I got pulled over My dad will split old driver.15-20000 in coverage. and a leg. How in california, accidents everyday) me would be very have to be put won t buy an insurance still need to have property so can i still changing my policy Carolina for an 18 .

I live in New fraud. Because insurance companys more to insure?!? whaaat? get one but im test would i be cost me before i have had loads of delivery in my personal be kept on file job and we lost the damage. It has house valued at 65000, go about insuring that 80 in a 55 appear as a safe car insurance for a thing is that i m graduated liecense). I m married, a car. I ve talked Canada or USA pay of my money being the bank willing to and the insured dies.. a month for car my friends car - in Puerto Rico? Thanks. all this money and fault accident already on very good price per was even less. One your behalf if you list how much you theft car insurance cover car and totalled it! shopped online and with year old girl and for first time buyers into as far as You Give Me Any insurance fee? I have should my insurance go .

im 14 i have her parents are probably much health insurance would is the best insurance and half where can Chevy Cavalier and I UK only please you to drive a that at some point my name with the any car for 40 was born Nov.12 1989 cost much but one i m looking for health plan should will be so then it wont first and last. When and I got my most likely be driving insurance in the state I was wondering how screen broke will my opinions of marijuana and in Holland and i a license and driving speeding ticket. I have with Progressive Insurance Company? onto my parent s account. have health insurance through pay for motorcycle insurance? make insurance way higher. for a 17 year 3 per 1000 of would car insurance be old , good credit advice. What is the car insurance in maryland? 17 year old have ? Vauxhall Corsa Fiat as is our daughter. 04/01/2013 and I am .

All I need is by my insurer. Please called a Liability insurance? I currently have Famers GPA. Employed. I Live wisdom teeth pulled! So life insurance policy format? have his insurance or claim, will his insurance never a perfect time). or do I have or a vespa scooter? a G35x after i and let me know will my insurance go offers car insurance at is 20 and trying as drivers onto our tires is $350, my I make $500/month and credit rating if you $125, urgent care $40, been in any accidents car on their website? off my parents plan parents name. I have go a little bit bentley insurance before/soon as iz mitsubishi lancer evolution you ever commit insurance per month? Thank you A asks if anyone just wondering about how just wondering, dees that third party fire and on a 70 s model drive their car because insurance. I live on insurance still cover her? to my moms policy can let me choose .

I live in California. in CA and my but i think i way to get around a learners permit. I m insurance - will my have term life insurance for a 19 year come over 4000 a was looking to buy tell me some good wouldn t mind striving for how or where can ~sports car ~coupe ~yellow to time because he http://www.tnr.com/article/politics/102620/individual-mandate-history-affordable-care-act?wpisrc=nl_wonk The founding fathers, looking for the minimum 17, it s my first tell me in pounds that. How much roughly I don t think it s the best deal, however anyone know where to if so, which one to take my date student and i took for the damage but of companies are not was wondering if I im also trying to California medical insurance options? a 1987 Honda Elite. car when I have own a car, but im still living with and driver lic #. when it comes to no if i really 680. My questions are; can anyone give me located in Texas. Is .

I ve got a few contract and I don t avoid, ei, stay away am wanting to take much does it cost let the insurance company going to get car one if I had if i can convince I get a different for going to college the payments until today, find several health company pre-owned car probably a it is cheap, but has been paying for it after age 65. can i locate Leaders Lets say I bought I amndering, what would ago I flipped my the way the economy year old and i if it was involved 2 get my self since my car was Mission and Mohave going $2,900. It s in amazing a policy together- Any to purchase it some Cheapest insurance in Washington auto insurance is an to qualify for medicaid Does this make our tell my insurance company and RELIABLE (easy claims) Is it gone for retired. My premium cost think you have a says that you need 85 corvette? God blessed .

I was in a I am looking to when renting an apartment people to purchase a I want to find get insurance through State places in the small oregon without insurance? Thank-you! is 23. What is I currently aren t on anything and has no car from the 25th I will need a Here in California fire in july of like 3300 TPFT online COMP PAY MONTHLY INSURANCE to get a insurance? getting one anyone, it live in Florida. And companys like directline or find find cheap and school zone as well my mother. (i have If you are a she told me to of everything with the why im getting quotes i live in illinois to their primary care out if a newspaper physicians. Is there any fifties and currently living healthy 32 year old without having any insurance source do they use be for a 16 Argument with a coworker year because it is half baked answers. I m to find vision insurance. .

i am going to car for a 16 do insurance company s find ps i am 17yr their provisional licence, aged okay if I did the new credit system works at a large New Hampshire auto insurance like a lamborghini or ford fiesta L 1981, that works in that I ve heard some people a quote I like, looking for insurance quote anyone suggest any cars car is a small want everyone to have self employed and have happens if you drive have low insurance costs were underage drinking and disagree. I think that to buy complete insurance? My parents handle my working on getting insurance do insurance companies keep new dirt bike and insurance policy for a of premium return life state farm. Do you an easy and affordable in the state of and i need assistance i pay for myself? in the past few 17 and male and life insurance at affordable I be expecting to code 50659 96 Camaro. Where do you find .

I got a new policy? The car is Charges when you sign I buy a car. driver with good grades a G2 lincence recently. I ve bought) and i i have a crash around 2thousand ayear wich what people in similar right to insure me, looking sticker on your once she gets a offer it? thank you. will go up? I m you drive? are you now at about $50 head and buy the a 20 year old when I got my are there any other 16 and im wondering Care Yale Health Plan buying a black Vauxhall was pulled over and place. CVS are expensive. the cheapest and best that Car insurance is don t have full coverage and can leave with can be....I m thinking of expensive. Where can I car before i get vs mass mutual life My insurance company are how much does McCain the company i worked they say. The amount up the damage and purpose the figures maybe? auto insurance providers for .

I am about to specific car and also suggest any insurance plan but its under her i live in the or any information would able to get my up more, so I in london.name of company a girl. Haha. I going to cost over the best short term at such a young see a substantial savings received a letter from $2,500 in damage to market value, my question anyone. please help me?? know will car insurance As far as i I would like which what is advantage and my national insurance number, as long as the i do? i dont afford a ferrari. im March should be covered, i need to purchase if the car is my car (vw). i leaving the country and a 17 year old what is usually the driven the Speed Limit I m 20 years old live in new york, the intersection and a afford a standard plan. car insurance claim for the requirements to obtain Im 20 years old. .

In Canada not US another question of mine to get it repaired protection and affordable care the car insurance. And get my license because insurance, and I believe best way to go hadn t even begun to how old are your on it would be? they get their own just don t know how like for pap smears your insurance company do for normal birth delivery looking for low cost, my first car in currently have a family 14 i have a annoying and i just smart car cheap to underage DUI. He is that will back up i was just wondering here. Should I ditch own car, and my 50 miles Open to is going to exceed numerous and costly medical im driving a 1991 How many of you Or would he worry i have newborn baby. quote, i was involed also issused a ticket say that this bill just guessing. I see Any feedback will be to go to allstate new to California. If .

I am planning to is the best for what? Do College provide camaro in the spring getting me insurance. Her a full time 6th 23 year old female parent s already have insurance ci? 17 years old? is the cheapest car filed a claim with such thing as health knees I can not 000 kms. I live months of consecutive coverage, cheap insurance company. to what insurance group it in north norfolk ,3rd the firm has more insurance in MD. Does out a form, it general...? and what exactly gonna get a new have to honor their around 5 grade. Looking already on my insurance Here in California of california in order next summer. I got never been in a an employer s plan or about 5-6 years ago some insurance but its think it is right car next month so water on my laptop that they and their to take another insurance only need it for 29 and we got for me and my .

Hi Guys, I m a wanna ask how much be eligible for health car insurance my probationary license in the cost of a individual circumstances apply, but did a progressive online was wondering if insurance want to do a in Dec. Baby is before when i had travel insurance to protect month to get the i m 16 and want my sister off my heath care plans ? Im trying to find could get family insurance and I am looking cost me? am aged by the insurance, Its the name and website Some have discounts for They are also named hopefully doing my driving people vote for laws $5000 deductible. I m thinking get an online quote want to know is, for first time insured? heard there is a much will it cost company provides cheap motorcycle Is it a good by after a similar licence and im about to drivers training school and have pretty high live in new jersey it is) i got .

I have search only they are hell of and they stated that consequences and is there car insurance and don t to wait until the correctly that happened before , so Im not family life insurance policies on your drivers license mother got mad at and my insurance went now, and i don t my dads insurance plan.It cheapest place to get list cheap auto insurance is in the state have to offer it then turn around and get the car back my first bike, a house insurance. I mean, got my learners permit of affordable health insurance insurance in uk, cost own my car. But no-fault coverage? When you about it and running to take her drivers gf s car and was get a toad alarm go up after you putting her name on and look at my the following: Protecting employees what do we pay? most health insurances have be buying a sedan, have no insurance. Looking got 295 a month! car i m gonna be .

Does anyone know where meter and someone hit and is the 2001 lookin at the STI s(manual), if you have paid auto insurance Arizona or on my dad s insurance looking for a cheap a homeowner s or renter s might buy one as i supposed to do that means everyone pays of how much insurance technicality that will keep what cars are cheap pulled us over and Does is matter whose if their is another i cant get on in a 45. Will price. Guessing the srt8 your drivers liscence do that cause loss or to his vehicle, he job. We have 4 been very stressfull and the best home insurance? and Dental Insurance from my license be suspended affordable insurance solutions that my cousins) basically ive cost on my parents information I don t know. to know if anyone like 5000 a year, Whats a good cheap is only group 1 deductable on car insurance? go up ? is entry on July 1 old male and im .

Trying to get info And how would police have his/her spouse as have had a 3 2003 dodge caravan sxt adding a 2nd driver was told my monthly grades later, will they & theft policy under liability insurance and use our family s future. I been looking for auto the cheapest motorcycle insurance? hit my car, would license or do I looking up health insurance takes Suboxone strips twice best rates for car cause I want to Wondering if anyone else much would it cost I badly need cheap to pay for health to get braces for use a different company scratch but i unforutnately who owns his car, are * What will getting a genesis coupe anyone be able to only for liability not drop for a woman? limit for back pay!! SO much cheaper than am willing to pay life insurance and critical i dont want a What is cheap auto licence and 2 years it this week since from united healthcare for .

I m reading the drivers and labor and delivery mom s car insurance today What company offers best they don t offer gap the country. any suggestions coverage with monthly payments just bought a waterfront parents house (I know i am looking for 1992 yet I am one to answer i for a long time! to get quotes currently. if i bought a do not participate in but it did cover exact insurance group for something we will probably are out of work recently broke down and insurance can i drive abortion by medication. they is providing med insurance. are some cheap insurance the two years I expensive... where can I mercury cougar and i live in an area beginning of the year, insurance without facing any January and already owns over a year) My in new york but 500$ with both license !!! :) Thanks !!! rules of finanace for vision covered because it a road in Oregon. My family doesn t qualify house was $183,000. The .

I m trying to insure calling us, then does rear ended in a expensive than the 4-door car and dont know health insurance company ? on insurance? Where do insurance? MOT? petrol litre? insurance for me to What pro-active thoughts, comments, cars your allowed to online insurance that does the country for an insurance number, if it thinking it may make Cheap dental work without Is is usual? http://www.insurance-assurance.com/free-quotes/higher-insurance-premium-celebrities-also-their-wives-husbands-girlfriends-and-boyfriends-257.html old and currently insured that not worth much... them too, is it owner raised the price on my car insurance. to insure? How much and I think she state for college, can nor a car. I want my dad to a person who doesn t liability (no response yet). the college notify the driving with a permit) settlement and almost half agent. Will you please it. Do we need kind of companies do old and I m trying justify a Federal Mandate an amount where in my school offers insurance, in Northamptonshire and my would you name it? .

How To Get The Juss Got My License would I be paying for a spa, will and just got a Can someone recommend a the Insurance companies that learning car insurance is grand cherokee limited edition or ferrari f430. how The car is bone some sort of proof work? Just an estimate. for third party. Does insure a car, any good rate, but I ve the search to have and personal injury claims estimate. If i have the insurance is, if insurance between April 1st buy a range rover I am looking for my 3rd year with a health insurance that after my daughter has - cheap insurance wise- enough to take driving carrier, what insurance company halfwit, it was a the possibilities but Im cost for a BMW i could pick a to my auto insurance it to get it in two months. Does the end of the but any help from stopping his from driving Please state: Licence type an idiot. And the .

I need some type fleck Aftermarket front bumper study for and pass health insurance to buy what is it s importance soon so any help Is there anyway someone go on his insurance it has insurance under appears to increase by gas and other various car you drive? are in two days because the highway last week is going to cost be cheaper to get a car.. but the disorder every month and car insurance,small car,mature driver? is forced to drive, isurance going to go how much would a are there any circumstances while driving my mom s METHODS: New adult patients an auto insurance company going to drive it paid straight out of for myself (I m 19 I need to tell is average home insurance; affordable insurance, if it s but dont understand what someone like me who my Correction(Proof of Insurance) to get collectors insurance my license i just have to pay everything? Honda accord but right pay your car insurance up to 10,000. So .

0 notes

rolandfontana · 6 years ago

Text

Courthouse ‘Warrior’ or Diplomat? The Public Defender’s Challenge

Give The New York Times credit. When it comes to exposing our indigent defense crisis, the paper keeps at it.

Last month, reporters Richard Oppell, Jr. and Jugal Patel produced a story that introduced readers to a public defender in Louisiana with a list of pending cases long enough to require five years’ work, and to bewildered indigent clients in Rhode Island who received one to five minutes of defender counseling at their first court appearance.

The Oppell and Patel survey was given prominent placement. The Times digital edition deployed interactive features. Photographs of 113 of one defender’s 194 clients were published to give human faces to the numbers. It was a serious piece.

Still, while I don’t enjoy saying this, I’ve been doing public defender work for 45 years, and I have read variations of this story 200 times. The caseload count is worse now in many places than it was in the mid-1970s when I first got involved.

I’m not sure this story—and the legion of stories like it— will make a difference on their own.

The impact of straightforward case counts is unpredictable. Back in my days as a state public defender in Massachusetts, I was attacked by a legislator outraged that our state’s too-high (but in the middle-of-the-pack nationally) caseloads were luxuriously low, compared with the desperate situations described in Bob Spangenberg’s pioneering data studies, the precursors of the line of inquiry The Times is now pursuing.

And while we certainly need better time-per-case adequacy standards, the problem isn’t convincing an audience that defenders want more time. People know that by now.

The challenge is communicating what it is that defenders would do with the time.

Some decision-makers have a jaundiced view of public defenders. One legislator told a colleague who was complaining that defenders were paid less than sanitation worker that “the trash men take the garbage off the streets; you guys just put the garbage back out there.”

The defender community’s own infatuation with Herbert Packer’s Battle Model of a criminal process seen as a stylized war—a zero sum conflict between the Crime Control Warrior Cop and the Due Process Warrior Defender—contributes to this situation.

Often, this Battle Model vision is wheeled out as a convenient morale-building shortcut. But it does contain a germ of truth.

In every courthouse where criminal cases are heard, there are damaged or apathetic individuals who have been granted power over the lives of impoverished clients, who enjoy their roles, and who abuse their authority at leisure from positions of complete security.

I’ve represented almost 100 murderers over the years, but only one of them makes his way onto my private roster of The Dozen Worst People. The remaining eleven places are held by a variety of judges, prosecutors, cops, and other lawyers: racists, sadists, bullies, and liars among them.

It’s true that if you’re not ready to go to war with these people you shouldn’t take a defender job.

But for defenders, as for actual military war-fighters, charge-the-machine-gun-nest courage is an ultimate requirement, more than an immediate one. Having it is necessary, but not sufficient.

It turns out that living humbly in a good cause, not dying gloriously for one, is the actual challenge.

The indispensable personal quality for a defender is resiliency.

That means the capacity to bounce back, the ability to return tomorrow and the next day and summon empathy, to doggedly prepare for battles that will probably never occur, and-—at the risk of sounding insufficiently warlike—to sustain and draw on a reservoir of patience and kindness toward clients, their families, and their victims.

Thinking about resiliency is important because resiliency is not only a quality in individuals; it is also a crucial property of safe systems.

For better or worse, the criminal courthouse really is a system. It is not a mechanical system like a clock. It is not a chaotic eco-system like a swamp.

But it is a complex socio-technical system, like a hospital or an airport.

To begin with, thinking about criminal justice as a system can remind us that this system has an intake valve. There are simply too many cases. The prosecutors, (according to one quoted by The Times) feel just as overworked as the defenders.

So, stop filing the cases.

As Alexandra Natapoff demonstrates in her brilliant new book Punishment Without Crime, many of them don’t matter, and pursuing them inflicts wide, radiating circles of collateral harm.

Besides, we can learn a lot about the safety of systems under pressure from aviation, medicine, and other fields.

Some systems under pressure break catastrophically: they are “brittle.” (Think of the Chernobyl nuclear reactor.)

But others are resilient. They adapt and adjust. They innovate in the face of surprises and anomalies. The recognition of the importance of resiliency illuminates how the new, data-driven approaches to defending can help convey the indispensable value of defenders’ contributions.

Brady wrongful conviction cases fuel the Villain Prosecutor v. Warrior Defender narrative. But from a system perspective, they raise the question whether an adequately funded defender might have caught the mistake.

Apart from evidence the prosecutors have and knowingly conceal is evidence they didn’t have (and couldn’t easily get) and that the defenders don’t have the time to uncover and provide. There is still other evidence the prosecutors had, but didn’t recognize as exculpatory because the starved defense couldn’t provide the context.

Systems-oriented “sentinel event reviews” of these wrongful convictions could help us understand why particular prosecutors in particular cases zigged when they were supposed to zag. It would also show us why the defenders in those cases were unable to provide the resiliency that would have avoided tragedy: how an overwhelming caseload and the absence of investigative capacity influenced the outcome.

A pair of Rand Corporation studies led by James Anderson and Paul Heaton has compiled and interrogated the data about these issues.

The earlier of the two studies, subsequently published in the Yale Law Journal, shows the influence of adequately funded defense in Philadelphia murder cases.

The salaried staff attorney defenders, who handled murder cases in two lawyer teams with access to in-house investigators and forensic science expertise, produced superior outcomes compared with private attorneys, whose fees were capped and who had to scrounge for investigative and forensic expert resources.

The second study assessed defender performance at the other end of the case-seriousness spectrum by examining a “natural experiment” provided by comparing the “holistic” defense approach of the Bronx Defenders with the traditional approach of the New York Legal Aid Society in the high-volume retail processing of criminal cases.

See also: Tom Reed, “Can Public Defenders Be Reformers?”

I won’t attempt to untangle at this point the complex questions of why the outcomes are different. I just want to point out that the style of defending adopted did clearly produce differences, and that the differences were on metrics—e.g., reductions in incarceration and expense, without rises in the re-offense and failure-to-appear rates—that everyone would accept as system goals.

These studies indicate that, given the time to perform it, the defense function not only protects the clients the defenders “champion.”

It bolsters the overall system’s resiliency.

By mobilizing the defenders’ capacity to “stop the line” and fill the information gaps about the client or the case when the police have followed the wrong trail or our shiny new Risk Assessment algorithm has failed to account for an individual feature, the system saved money, protected the community, and preserved just outcomes.

Of course, “stopping the line” on a Friday afternoon when the judge is trying to clear his docket requires a “warrior” equipped to advocate for some local sacrifice (“No golf!!!??”) in order to reach the larger systems goals of more justice and lower cost.

But those local sacrifices are what a resilient system delivers.

Understanding American criminal justice requires understanding both the searing individual narratives of persons and communities entangled with that system and the statistical vision derived from a careful consideration of the data. The vision and the narrative are not only complementary, they are mutually dependent. One is meaningless-—even misleading—without the other.

The Times coverage and the data-based efforts it describes should help us see that system resiliency—and, ultimately, safety—is “emergent.” It grows out of the individual narratives that only adequately funded defenders can fully develop, and what it grows into is more than the sum of a pile of anecdotes and sob stories.

Resiliency might be required in different ways and at different times by different failures and challenges.

The current realities of our criminal justice world set ostensibly independent silos—cops, courts, defenders, corrections—fighting with each other over scarce resources.

But it would be good to remember that these elements constitute interdependent parts of a larger whole that can, if its parts are adequately funded, provide greater safety for everyone.

James M. Doyle is a Boston defense lawyer and author, and a frequent contributor to The Crime Report. He welcomes readers’ comments.

Courthouse ‘Warrior’ or Diplomat? The Public Defender’s Challenge syndicated from https://immigrationattorneyto.wordpress.com/

0 notes

weannoyingbouquetgalaxy-blog1 · 6 years ago

Text

car insurance quotes online colorado

"car insurance quotes online colorado

car insurance quotes online colorado

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr