#im alive and fine etc etc. this is like. long as hell

[f4iry-bell]

Stained Shirt and Two Seats for One

a very long title, im so sorry about the setting of first chapter not being clear and switch of what is going on eacothers heads?? though its written in third person pov. first chapter is very terrible pls bare with me. its just for funies.

this is a regular x f!reader. anyone can read it.

NOTE: after TBH but AU where there is no tgg or anything that involves tgg(no avery's game, or alice being alive, etc etc). reader is 23-24. grayson is 26-27 y/o. im sorry for making gray kinda old ITS FOR PLOT REASONS.

warning: unclear setting 🧍‍♀️.

Y/n blinked rapidly as she was trying hard not to scream out of pain and anger. The hot liquid poured all over her burnt like hell. And the colour choice of her top was definitely not helping. At least she doesn't have to immediately meet her client as soon as she lands in London. Some of the people who passed by looked at her stained shirt and the man in front of her who looked so perfect. No, literally, he might just be perfect.

“My sincere apologies.” He apologised and his tone stated neutral, he sounded apologetic but yet not.

“It's okay.” She says giving him a poor smile while she looks at her top.

“It's not okay, your shirt is ruined.” He states.

“No, I was on my phone while I was walking, it's also my fault.” She said and watched him take his white handkerchief out handing it to her.

“I was not looking as well.”

“Thank you, but I don't think it's going to help.” She chuckled but his face remained neutral.

“I’m sorry again” He kept apologising and she kept saying ‘it's fine’

Finally they both parted ways. Grayson was thinking about the incident and the girl, he ruined a perfectly styled outfit. It was simple and probably comfortable for flying. He remembered that his flight is about to take off in 30 minutes. He can't let that event bother his whole plane ride.

As Grayson walked inside the flight through the economy, he recognised one person sitting in the middle, the girl whom he poured his black coffee on. She was wearing a cardigan over her stained shirt. Her wired earphones disappeared in her wavy hair. She sat in between a weird old man and a woman with her baby on her lap. She looked so done. He can't imagine how bad her day must be. First, he pours coffee on her and now she has to sit next to probably two worst types of people you would find on a plane. He couldn't help himself. He walked to her seat, fortunately he didn't have to tap on her to make her notice his presence. She looked at him once he was near her seat and unplugged her earphones from her ears with a confused look. Probably wondering why he is here.

“Hi.” She said and gave him an awkward smile as if this man did not just pour hot coffee on her.

“I have an offer,” He said. “For you.”

“Oh. um, oh” He can tell that she was super confused by her response.

“You have a seat in first class” He informed her.

“Huh?” She was still confused.

“You heard me. I have a seat for you in the first class” He was trying to be clear.

She can tell that this man was about to board in first class when he poured coffee on her just by his looks. But why is he offering his seat? Because he poured coffee on her? And where will he sit? In her seat? He looks like he never travelled out of first class.

“Oh you don't have to give up your seat. It's fine.” She smiles.

“Ma’am, I'm not giving up my seat. Take the offer” He ordered, getting kind of impatient.

“You’re not? But you said that you have a seat for me”

“True”

“So, your seat”

“Yes. My other seat” He added “You'll be sitting next to me”

“You have booked two seats?” She asked. Was he supposed to travel with someone? His outfit might say that he was supposed to travel with a business partner or assistant.

“I always do. Now if you're done with your questions, we must leave before the airhostess asks us” He said.

She blinked a couple times not believing what just happened. She stood up and noticed the lady with her baby was giving her a jealous look. I mean she can't blame the lady, who wouldn't want to travel in first class. She took her small backpack with her.

She spoke as they walked “So um why'd you book two seats?” She didn't want to pry but she was going to sit next to this man for hours, she didn't want it to be awkward throughout.

“As I've mentioned already. I always do”. He replied. Showing no interest in a conversation. He is giving her a seat in first class that should be enough of an apology for the coffee, right?

“But why?”

“Because I do not like sitting next to strangers. You'll be surprised to find out even people who travel first class want to engage in unnecessary conversations” He told her. She gave a nod. She made a mental note to not engage in a conversation with him.

Grayson noticed it, he also thought that she is quite polite and beautiful too.

She tried hard not to think that he is an arrogant asshole, well he is giving his seat to her so he must be fine. She made sure not to make silly conversation with him or not talk at all. This man booked two tickets just so he doesn't have to engage with others. He must hate people. Y/n was not a fan of people or small talk with strangers either so it's not hard for her to keep her to herself. But if the awkward silence is too loud she won't be able to help herself, she will just say something random.

The plane ride was quiet as Grayson wanted. He liked the fact that the girl did not try to have any small talk with him. All though he tried his best to mind his own business he kept noticing what she was doing, for the first half an hour of the flight the girl was writing something on her notebook. He wanted to peek but it would be too obvious. After some writing she took out a beige eye mask and then rested throughout the flight. Watching her like a creep he decided to do the same as well.

It was like an unwritten rule to walk out of London's airport together for them. Like the plane ride the walk was also quiet. Grayson had a car waiting for him outside already, the girl on the other hand was waiting for a taxi. He wanted to offer her a ride but he thought it was probably too much.

“I’m once again sorry about your clothes. Have a good life” He started and ended the conversation without even giving her time to speak. He didn't care if she thought he was rude, he will never see this girl ever again.

next part →

[aziraphales-library]

ok so im not sure if this will make any sense, but i was wondering if you had any recs for like,,,big fics

an example would be "the time before" or "a memory of eden"

fics that are multi chapter, have a long over arching plot, preferably ones that involve the whole season 1 gang (anathema, newton, the them etc.)

sorry if that made no sense!!

(oh also any sort of relationship between aziraphale and crowley is fine. i dont mind. maybe preferably fics with no smut but it doesn't matter really)

thanks!!

You’ll want to check our #long fic and #apocalypse buddies tags for more fics like this. You didn’t specify if you wanted to avoid AUs or not (because there are loads of those), so I’ve stuck to canon-compliant. Here you go...

Earthbound Creatures by IneffableToreshi (T)

In burning Agnes Nutter's second book of prophecies, Anathema and Newt discover a mysterious page that refuses to go up in flame. Atop it is written a poem which neither, at that time, can hope to understand.

Something is happening, wheels are turning, and neither Heaven nor Hell are wont to forgive and forget. An Angel and a Demon are very much in danger of losing one another.

Keep Yourself Alive by Jlocked & The_Lady_of_Purpletown (T)

The Apocalypse didn’t happen, and Aziraphale and Crowley's respective Offices have been dealt with. For now. This should be a time for celebration and enjoying their life on Earth. But it seems Heaven has a different Plan for Aziraphale, and Crowley might not be able to solve this.

Meditations on Domestic Bliss by wordsphoenix (NR)

Everyone is alive. Time for an angel and a demon to start doing some living. Preferably in close proximity and with deeper significance than the friendship previously mentioned, since feelings are very much allowed now that Aziraphale and Crowley are aligned with emotionally-driven creatures, and, more importantly, each other.

Good Endings by WyvernQuill (T)

A Narrative of Certain Events following the Ending of the World (Except Not Quite), as vaguely hinted at in The Slapdash and Not Very Helpful Prophetic Tidbit of Agnes Nutter, Witch (And Matchmaker.)

"Their lives are in horrible, terrible danger that only we can save them from!" Anathema held up the Prophetic Tidbit. "It says so. Right here." Madame Tracy peered at the page. Raised a meaningful eyebrow. "Dearie, as a woman of, well, considerable experience, I really don't think that's what 'the lyttle Deathe' means in this context..."

"Huh." Anathema squinted. Flipped the page. Read another bit. "....huh."

(Or, alternatively: Eight - give or take - matchmakers trying really, really hard, honest; two clueless ethereal/occult beings mutually pining their endless days away; and one witch, who can't leave well enough alone when it comes to matters of the heart, no matter how many centuries ago she died.)

Time is the Longest Distance by Beckers522 (M)

Six months had passed since the world hadn't ended and life was good. Life was more than good. It was more than nice. Life on Earth, here in his little corner of London, here with Crowley by his side was absolutely wonderful. Until the day that it wasn't. Until Aziraphale walked into Crowley's flat to find his best friend mysteriously discorporated with both Heaven and Hell staying silent on the matter. With Crowley trapped in Hell and Aziraphale unable to reach him, the pair set off to find their way back to each other. They will have to fight against Heaven, Hell, and Time itself to make their way back into each others arms once more.

This is a full-length story based off the comic by the wonderfully talented Lei_sam. If you have not seen it yet, you need to go check it out. Link in the notes section.

Love is a Temporary Madness by Beckers522 (T)

"They'll leave us alone, for a bit. If you ask me, both sides are going to use this as breathing space, before the big one." "I thought that was the big one." "No. For my money, the really big one is going to be all of us against all of them." "What? Heaven and Hell against...humanity?"

The Apocalypse has come and gone, but Heaven and Hell aren't satisfied. They'd tried and failed to enact their revenge once. Perhaps it is time to try a different strategy.

And the two you mentioned (I assume--please include authors and/or links as well as titles!)...

A Memory of Eden by ImprobableDreams900 (M)

When Crowley gets captured by angels and dragged up to Heaven, Aziraphale knows he has to rescue him—no matter the consequences.

The Time Before by M4R4N14MH (G)

The Apocalypse is not long over and Aziraphale is looking forward to a life free of Heaven and Hell and, most importantly, full of a certain Anthony J. Crowley. That is, until reality attempts to set in again. Now Angels and Demons are being murdered, Heaven and Hell are in disarray, and Aziraphale reunites with a friend older than God Herself. Alpha Centauri has never looked so welcoming, in Crowley’s opinion.

- Mod D

[ddejavvu]

ohh i have SUCH a controversial jennifer jareau opinion. and this is probably gonna be more like an essay. i wish i could say i was sorry.

everyone always says theyre anti jj slander, which is fine ofc, but just weird bc i NEVER see anyone slandering her. in my 3 years in the fandom, ive seen it happen maybe 5 times total, which sucks because she deserves so. much. more. hate.

(spoilers for *that* jeid plotline, as well as some other things)

in season 7, spencer tells her that she has mean girl vibes and she replies "i was a nice girl, especially to guys like you" which ALWAYS pissed me off because she literally just confirmed what he said? and everyone acts like it was a funny joke. she said that shit with her whole chest and meant it, and it wouldnt be *that* big of a deal if it was the only time. but shes consistently mean to him throughout the show, ignoring him, walking away, etc. spencer isnt even the only one shes like this to. and she just has a sense of superiority, idk how to describe it. just by the way she talks and interacts with those around her, you can tell. (while we're on that note, she also ignores her privileged a LOT. maybe not all the time, but theres been multiple times where she acts like she went through hell to get where she is. other than her sister passing, she had it completely easy. in terms of resources, opportunities, etc., she was basically born with a golden spoon in her mouth.)

in s14 when she confesses to spencer that shes always been in love with him, it just makes my blood boil. obviously he had been over her a long time (imo), but that was something she should've kept to herself bc it just brought alllll those feelings back to the surface. not to mention that hes the godfather of her children, and shes married, and will probably (definitely) doesnt know how she feels. thats literally emotional cheating on her part, even though reid didnt reciprocate it, it was still wrong of her to be that close to him without will knowing how she really felt.

there are other things i dont like abt her too, but those are the main things and im trying to keep this as short as possible. but i literally cant stand her, shes by far my least favorite character, and everyone acts like shes an angel sent from heaven, when really shes just a privileged bitch.

i like JJ a lot (i want her to be my mom </3) but i do agree with several of your points - she's definitely not the worst character, each and every character has a list of flaws that we could make, so this by no means makes her the worst, but it does make me angry <3

i just rewatched that 'mean girl' episode!! she doesn't even hesitate before saying 'guys like you', which, you're totally right, means he was right, and she was definitely a mean girl in high school. or even if she didn't say any of it out loud, she was still silently judging 'guys like him' and in high school you can always tells who's silently judging you. they're teenagers. they're not silent about it. the nasty looks they give you?? oh man. but i do think that the blame for ignoring spencer needs to be placed on all of the team members, because they do it all the time too, it's not just her. she has some pretty bad moments with him, but it's definitely something they all do and she shouldn't take the full blame

lmao don't talk about jeid. the writers actually deserve the death penalty for that, god it was so nasty and weird. i know that it was something she confessed in the heat of the moment, like she wasn't sure she was gonna make it out alive and didn't wanna die without saying it but ??? WHY WOULD YOU PUT IT ON HIM TO DIE THREE SECONDS AFTER FINDING OUT ??? like great it's off your chest but now he's gonna spend the (very short) rest of his life thinking about it?? AND THEN THEY DIDN'T EVEN DIE LMFAO SO HE WAS JUST STUCK WITH THAT !! and yeah!! will!! what about will!! or her kids!! it was so... writers i'm watching you...

one scene of hers that really pissed me off was in reid's kidnapping two-parter in s2 (the hankel incident) where she was almost attacked by those rabid (?) dogs and she shot them and she's obviously shaken up and she tries finding reid and realizes what happened and she feels so much guilt for splitting up with him - which was not her fault, she didn't know and should not be held responsible for what happened to him - that she started trying to make other people mad at her?? she cornered derek who was grieving and stressed at the loss of his best friend and they're both sleep deprived and she says something like 'admit it, you hate me, you think it's my fault' AND I???? GIRL. he is being so nice to you?? he was literally like oh honey if you need time off i know you're really shaken up and we can take care of this and and and AND SHE WAS LIKE oH yeah suRe just admit it i'm the worSt everybody hATEs mE- I WAS... this is not about you. go get therapy for the dog attack that you just almost suffered?? do not stand around a crime scene and pester the victim's best friend and delay the investigation because you're feeling guilty. go talk to someone about it. take a few days off. again, i totally get that she was shaken up and hopped up on adrenaline, but everyone told her to go get some rest and she was like no i think i will make myself the problem instead <3

all of that being said i still love her </3 i was not kidding when i say that i wish she was my mom holy shit i would have loved to grow up as her kid but she definitely has her flaws just like the rest of the BAU, and logical, critical breakdowns of a characters flaws aren't slandering, they're analysis, so i think everybody needs to stop shitting on people who criticize or analyze their faves lmao

send me your unpopular fandom opinions

[survnet]

🎙️ and 🥪 for the ask game!

sorry for the absolute yapfest incoming and also that this is a week late. It took a bit to write all this out. and also irl stuff happened but ykkkk off topic

🥪 (Tell us any random headcanon/s you have!) : okay im doing this one first because. uh. well.

prism is really into model building. she originally only did it for planning and prototypes and such but she realized she enjoyed it so she started to do it in her free time for fun

hivemind vehemently despises every other bug apart from bees. whenever theres an ant/etc infestation he devises the most cruel painful saw trap ass ways to exterminate them and giggles manically when they die.

charlie throws motolov cocktails at birds for fun

solaris likes classical and orchestral music. esp after leaving zoraxis. it reminds her of fabby

zor secretly really likes disney movies. everyone who learns this about them gets executed instantly

anna and solaris used to stargaze together. fabby joined when she wasnt busy (not often.)

🎙️ (What’s your favourite (used or unused) voice line in the games?) : time for the reason this ask took so long to answer! I did NOT listen to the fact that it says voice line singular! god i hope this readmore works

literally all of handlers jokes. theyre so bad but they come from handler so they make me happy

"What was it that turns screws again? A... screw-turner?" and every other time he says smthn snarky... hes so funny he does NOT have time for the agents bs ❗️❗️❗️

all of zors voice messages in friendly skies. esp the birthday one. its your birthday its your birthday dr zorrrrrrr :3. OH and the one from their evil conscious. zor going to a support group is rlly funny i think

"That's a fine airplane, Agent. But don't forget to save the world?" no time for joyous whimsy smh...

"Invalid code! Goodbye!" and honestly literally everything the escape pod says. shes so happy about your imminent death! (also shoutout to her in-game voice actor tiffany. i hope you are still alive 🙏🙏🙏)

"I hate to say I told you so- ...No, wait. I love to say that! I told you so, Agent!" rude as hell...

"It appears Zor's minions have unionized... Good for them!" "Hm... Transmitting it has apparently alerted Zors assassins to your position. Good for them!" good for them<3

"It's fine. I won't reprimand you for destroying a decanter of 16-year-old single malt scotch. It... doesn't bother me." he is so bothered <3

handlers phone message at the beginning of first class. solve my riddle agent☝️☝️☝️

"Ah, the old gun-through-the-mail-slot trick. I used to do that at the office when I was an agent! ...I was asked to stop." "Ah, the old spear-through-the-ceiling trick. Never got a chance to do that one at the office." looney toons ass shit

"Just so you know... I am allergic to bees-" "Just drill that hole!" hivemind needs to be rude more... rude hivemind is my favorite hivemind

"ONE AGENT, EXTRA CRISPY!" this line repeats in my head 24/7 its actually crazy. i dont even particularly like the line its just Stuck in my brain

"The Hivemind is gonna be here! Ha, bees. He's gonna be here in like five minutes!" ha. bees.

all of hiveminds puns. especially "I spy with my little eye something that is, mm... BEES! MWAHAHAHAHA!" he didnt even try with that one its abit funny. i love him

also every other charlie and hivemind line (fork found in kitchen) i just would feel bad abt putting all of them.

all of solaris' lines when the death engine fires. shes objectum idgaf its canon. to me

"You should really enjoy the view instead of staring at that screen so much!" its because youre always on that damn computer

"'You're glowing!' Is normally a compliment. But... not in your case. Get it? Because radiation poisoning? Ha... That's a good one." not funny at all but for some reason i still giggle . i think its bc i love her

solaris' lines where she reads the agents files... teehee..

solaris' calls with zor... 'fineee🙄'

all the lines where handler nerds out abt jj

handlers voice line when hes in the crowd and gets shushed during stage fright.

"Don't raise that curtain before we're ready! I will resort to violence." violence! my favorite! the delivery here is real funny

"Ugh. No, no, that's not a good look for you, love. It's completely wrong for the shape of your face. Maybe if you- Nope, not the time. Back to work!" me when beautiful woman calls me love

"The TOLL! The great CLOCK! DOWN THE HALL!" from jj when you mess up the cue in stage fright... and the other messed up cue lines but that one is the funniest methinks

the voicemails from the interviewer in jet set. something wrong with juniper i think.

"Only the best chefs in the world can prepare that dish safely. Lucky for you, I employ the best chefs! Hehehehehe..." ONLY for the laugh at the end. why is he giggling deviously. hes probably rubbing his hands together evilly too cartoon villain ass

fabbys lines when she leaves her workshop at the beginning of eaves drop

also all of fabbys voice tapes.. esp the 5th and 6th ones

the guards in party crasher. just in general. theyr underrated. esp fred hes silly.

all of junipers lines in party crasher when u send up the wrong stuff. esp "Wine, Gibson. Not plate! Wiiiiine." why is he talking to gibson like a baby gibson is probably twice his age "Sherry, Gibson? Are you joking? Sherry? Really?" u can hear the smile in his voice near the end its kinda cute

of course, the classic "ARE YOU WEARING ONE OF MY MASKS?!" my first ieytd fanart was based on this line so for me its more nostalgic than anything. its still a good line though

"It's me! It's me, I promise! Uh, lets see, your favourite color is, uh... Y'know, you'll just have to trust me on this." he dont know shit abt phoenix...but he still care s for them... killing myself?

every juniper-as-handler line in safe and sound. only time i get the appeal of juniper in an attraction way. Especially "Don't do that, Agent. You might hurt yourself!" hoooly moly. can handler turn evil just so we can have more of him like that

also junipers monologue near the end of safe n sound. esp when you interrupt him...

handler b4 rising phoenix when he calls them by agent phoenix for the first time KILL ME NOW

all of handlers lines during th tutorial in ieytd3. esp the beginning. starts sobbing.

"Let's see... Ah, my to do list today is just... Y'know? I have to... Dust, or something. Always busy!" "Relateable! I dust 3 times a day myself." 1. robutlers delivery is sooooo funny 2. what is wrong with handler

robutlers jokes and handlers reactions to them.. "Hm. I didn't like that one."

"Heh, if I were a mean robot I'd be pretty mad right about now. But I'm nice! I'm nice..." so trustworthy

"Supervisor, remember when you said you couldn't tell us apart because our voices were so darn similar?" "Darn wasn't the word... It was-" the word was FUCKING ❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️or maybe just damn idk

"That... was in someone elses mouth. I need you to know that." "That gum is beyond disgusting. I don't like that, and I'm beginning to not like you." phoenix is insane

"Whenever I fix pipes I usually use a wrench. Sometimes I use my bare hands. ...I prefer the wrench." ...im normal

"Sooner or later we all get lasered. Or something else kills us. One of those two things will happen sooner or later, just you wait and see!" this is factual.

Every interaction prism has with her robots...esp the ones with right robot in blind spot... they make me sob

"I'm in the van in front of you. Don't worry, I only crashed 3 vans when I was a field agent." he cant drive

"Try not to go into the fire, Agent. It's not good for the car." "Fire is deadly when it's all over you." and basically every other time he says obvious shit all matter of factly. like no way... fr...?

"You know what they say! Give a robot a hot dog, feed him for a day. Teach a robot to hot dog... Wait, I messed that up." I think about teach a robot to hot dog every day

Every line from handler during the squid battle in hot water. esp "Hm, probably just... the wind. Underwater wind. Haha. Yes, anyway, grab the- No, there it is again!" he is abit stupid "EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE! The giant squid knows how power generators work!" smart squid:)

ollie. in general. love you ollie

"Fireworks are the pinnacle of undercover operations. Any passerby will simply think we're celebrating." this is true

"This is... not even remotely a wrench." Im trying my best roxana :(

every zor line. all of them. their voices (both from 2 and 3) are so cool it makes every line of theirs a favorite. especially the monologue at the end of kboom hoooly shiiit i got fucking chills when i first heard it...

"Look at those driving gloves! I bet you could drive anything with those, and look good doing it! Even one of those little... cars clowns like to drive. Ha... Even that." u can just tell hes imagining phoenix driving it

"Do you trust that sandwich? Not its quality, more like... Would you tell it a secret?" what the fuck is he talking about

"You look ready to be the life of the party! Now we just need to get you invited to a party... Not my strong suit." hes so me

"I can't say I approve of you wearing any kind of Zoraxis branding on your clothing, but I do approve of you not catching a cold. Care comes first!" eeuueeueueuue he cares abt them. kills myself.

"You're a sight for sore eyes, Agent. My eyes aren't sore, mind you. It's just an expression. Perhaps I should say that you're a sight for perfectly healthy eyes! Just to clear the air of any confusion." my handler autism hc grows more canon every day

"Ah, you're here, Agent! I have a question for you. Here it goes: Which hand is your favorite? That one? Really? No, no, you can't take it back, I feel like I know more about you now." again what the fuck is he talking about

[20cm]

long letter (varying degrees of vulnerability and embarrassment) to someone(s), but probably mostly to myself, because ive felt absent and like a ghost for so long im not even sure where i should start

the concept of writing this feels incredibly silly for many reasons, including but not limited to the fact that ive already started it twice and felt dumb about how im wording everything. its not a unique experience and i find comfort in knowing that theres connection in how people feel emotions. but im also aware that if i never actually talk about it frankly without deflection or downplaying it that no ones going to know. and maybe some of you dont need to know, or dont want to.

you can stop reading this if you want then, genuinely this is selfishly for me needing to feel understood, because right now im not even sure i understand. this is just my little blog with people who follow me who dont know me, and those who do know me.

this letter is for the latter because im not sure how to say it to individuals and make it sound real, and sincere, and like im not just making up excuses for things maybe no one is looking for explanations for in the first place. but i feel each gap of time without saying Something to someone like a deep personal failure. like its my failure that a gap cannot be bridged because someone reached out and the shell of the person theyre talking to doesnt reach back. i struggle with feeling real, i dont blame anyone for leaving the ball in my court, im just sorry that its still sitting there. its not your fault

im sorry for being gone. both physically (digitally?) and mentally...im probably going to continue to be gone a lot. these periods of mental absence come and go but fact of the matter is that theyre becoming more frequent, or maybe just lasting longer

theyre hard to. work around. get over. which sounds like an excuse but im incapable of giving them at this point. its laughable how much im aware that maybe i dont owe the internet my time, but all my friends are online now, and its become increasingly hard to come to terms with how to balance where this intersects

i dont know how to feel healthily removed when the life i live outside my silly little phone+computer is painfully limited by a hundred factors, most of which i do not control, and the loneliness is suffocating

im also unsure how to not feel like im a whining child about all this. or how to not downplay my own feelings when i wouldn't dream of downplaying anothers, because im aware theres worse issues and also that its ok to struggle.

the feeling like ive failed every friend ive ever made haunts me like nothing else and its something im reminded of daily

knowing that one of the base responsibilities in a relationship with any human being is being present, but i have long periods of time where i cannot do that feels like a base failure at the most deep level. i cant and don't expect people to wait around forever. i will go months without being able to hold any real conversation with someone. i just dont want anyone to ever feel less cared for because of it, i think of everyone fondly

i think its also funny that logically i know friendships and acquaintances dont always last forever and that's okay. people are in each others lives for the times they need them and can keep each other. and you can always come back together if its wanted, but sometimes theres a lifespan and its fleeting, and you need to be okay with leaving people behind, and being left behind yourself

i think im just always used to my friendships having timers on them. when friendships last longer than a year those people become like extensions of my heart. i want everyone im friends with even for short times to feel warm and loved, because i know that life finds ways to bring people together and apart when it whims

i think im used to living like im on a timer in general. i dont expect things to last. im never under any assumption something will stay static. life is change. change is guaranteed. change isn't something to be afraid of

but it does scare me. intensely. i know that sometimes i let things go because the fight feels pointless. i know thats not always conducive to keeping relationships itself. i try anyway. im not sure it matters, but i want people to know that i Try. i feel that tug to Keep and Try so intensely

the problem is when i dont feel real, its hard to try. its hard to feel permanent. its hard to feel like anything matters. i get so used to floating as a defense mechanism that ive somewhat lost the ability to hold onto anything. everything feels like its running through my fingers. i tell myself itll all work out eventually

and it sometimes does. i have many lovely people in my life that are patient with me, and care in their own ways, and it makes me feel incredibly grateful and incredibly unworthy. everyone whos ever been patient with me when i disappear on and off for a few months deserves far better than i can give. im aware its not always about giving, but i feel like that by failing one of the core tenets of Being There most of the time im already asking for too much. i just hope that being there when i can is enough.

its harder to feel like any of these fears and issues are worth talking about when theyve plagued me for years. when ive tried to work on and patch the shortcomings and be Better for those i care about when it feels like i keep getting damaged in ways that set me back and make it harder to get back up

its hard to constantly explain myself as just going "through it" again. another week, month, couple months. especially when i know i could blame a lot of it on the last 2 years but that doesnt feel fair anymore. i know it's also my fault

so im sorry. genuinely and wholeheartedly. i know that i hurt people when im not present, when i stop answering and im barely there. i know its potentially uncomfortable for others. or who just worry. im also aware that theres people who probably havent given this a second thought, because theres also a possibility im making Up people who are mad at me out of my own self-loathing. i have no idea, because i know its also incredibly selfish to think im more than a passing thought when someone sees my name in a contacts list or online, but thats very unfortunately not how the brain works huh. im covering my bases at least

i want people to know im trying, that i care deeply, that im sorry, deeper. its hard to give proof of this. its also time i feel silly for having typed 38 paragraphs to post online like im doing a one on one therapy session with my little keyboard. its cathartic to say it out loud though. i spend too much time trying to be quiet. it feels like a waste if everyones time to put words to an experience that is not new to me over and over.

i am not always a perfect friend despite wanting to be desperately. i cant be there sometimes, and its funny (how many times will i say this) that once again im aware that theres no such thing. and trying is all anyone asks, and people will have plenty of friends who serve different social needs they have

absolutely mental to me that it Somehow feels life or death though. it feels ... dramatic to be so worked up about it, for years and years. or why Right Now is the breaking point in which i voice my very dramatic little fears

i dont know anymore, frankly. im trying to be real. im trying to be present. trying to remember what it feels like to feel looser and happier, instead of tightly wound and stuffed with cotton

i have post traumatic stress disorder, the months of september through february are already incredibly difficult for me. the month of march felt like i got my hopes up for nothing and the month of april feels like trying to come up for air

i feel guilty, lonely, and incredibly pathetic. its sad in hindsight and looking inward im aware its not all my fault, and its also not permanent

change is, as always, the only guarantee in life

but it means for the last half a year ive felt incredibly.....inhuman. a shell of someone. i don't know how to explain this to others without it feeling like an excuse. i dont want others to feel burdened by knowing they might have to sacrifice any comfort by being friends with me. its their choice to, its not like there's a single person on earth that doesnt come with baggage, but i feel guilty nonetheless. its hard to get over that sometimes. it used to be easier. it'll get easier again

i don't know what the point of this was. in genuinely do not expect anyone to have read any of this, im posting it and putting it into the wind.

but it felt like i needed to out it somewhere, remind myself that i always try. late last month i felt like giving up for the first time in a long while. needed to remind myself that i try. thats who i am. i keep moving. change is guaranteed. nothing is static, for better or worse

i am more than my illnesses and disabilities and i am worth patience and care, etcetera. if anyone needs me ill be trying to deal with my manic episode and little hallucinations

sorry if i disappear again. thank you for reading if you did. maybe writing this means ill feel better soon

[simpforboys]

enough for you (3)

she/her pronouns

summary: y/n and jj finally come around

warnings: smut, praise kink, breeding kink, choking, dirty talk, oral (fem) unprotected sex. fluff, swearing, etc.

a/n: last part! hopefully u guys enjoyed! (im also not used to writing smut so i hope it’s okay)

part one and two

“i love you…” jj felt the words escape his mouth before he could stop them.

-

that was a week ago. jj had been hopelessly slugging around. the pogues felt horrible for him, not knowing what to do.

it was like stepping on egg shells around him. one minute he’s drunk or stoned out of his mind, the next he’s like a ticking bomb just waiting to snap at any little thing.

jj wasn’t jj anymore. and the pogues hated it.

john b walked out to see jj passed out on the pull out couch, empty beer bottles scattered around him.

john b rolled his eyes. he walked over, lightly slapping the blond until he woke up.

“what the fuck, man?” jj asked.

“i’m tired of seeing you like this, dude. now, you’re gonna get your shit together, grow up, and talk to y/n like a big boy or are you gonna mope around all the time?”

jj rolled his eyes. “i’m not moping-“

“you’re moping,” pope said as he entered the chateau.

“are you finally giving him the talk?” sarah and kie asked as they came out of nowhere.

jj furrowed his brows.

“guys- i’m fine.”

“no you’re not. you’re acting like a six year old who lost a baby toy. just go talk to her,” kie said.

jj bit the inside of his cheek.

“fine.”

-

so here jj was, standing outside her house at nine pm. it took him all day to muster up the courage, and just when he thought it was silly of him to be there, y/n opened the door.

“what the hell are you doing, creeper?” she asked.

jj scratched the back of his neck. “i wanted to talk but… i realize that sounds kinda pathetic.”

y/n looked at him in confusion. “come on, jj.”

she opened the door so he could walk in. the poorly lit living room and kitchen illuminated the hallway until they reached her room.

sitting down awkwardly on her bed, jj stared at her.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered. y/n looked over at him.

“jj, it’s fine-“

“it’s not fine, y/n. i treated you like shit, and now i think i get how you felt. i’ve felt horrible the last month and… and i miss you, y/n. i’m in love with you, i just never realized it until you were gone.”

“jj… i’ve moved on,” she whispered.

jj felt his heart break.

jj watched as her lips curved into a smirk. “i’m kidding, come here…” she grabbed his jaw.

hungrily, jj’s hand came up to y/n’s neck as they kissed. jj was craving this moment. he needed this moment.

“asshole,” he joked. she laughed.

y/n was feeling like putty in his hands and he knew it. she practically felt like she was melting into him as he pushed her backwards on the bed.

his hands slowly pushed the fabric up as she felt him roam her body. “is this okay?” he whispered into the kiss.

“more than okay,” she whispered back as he grinned into the kiss.

“i’ve wanted to do this for so long,” she admitted as he kissed down her neck.

“i don’t want you to feel like i’m using you,” he said.

y/n rolled her eyes. “i know you’re not, j.”

jj made the effort as he kissed every part of her skin. she sighed happily, relaxing into the bed.

“let me take care of you, love,” he said, pulling down her pajama shorts. he looked up at her one more time as she gave him approval.

“touch me, please, j,” she begged.

jj smirked, taking his middle finger and running it up and down her slit. “so wet,” he cooed.

she bucked her hips up; craving more. “is your mom here?” he asked, taking off his shirt.

“no. she’s probably out getting cracked out,” y/n replied, feeling her clit throb.

“jj-“

“shhh, don’t rush me, love,” he teased, gently rubbing her clit.

“fuck,” she quietly moaned.

he flicked her bud as she rolled her hips. he grabbed his arm, holding her down as he began to lap at her pussy.

“taste so sweet, love,” he told her.

y/n whimpered as jj took his finger and entered her.

“such pretty sounds coming from your mouth. be louder,” he said, quickening his fingers pace as his tongue swirled around her clit.

“jj- fuck.”

he hummed against her, sucking on her bud.

“i’m so close,” she moaned.

“close? baby, i just started,” he smirked. y/n was a whimpering mess under him, and he took pride knowing only he was making her feel this way.

“j-“

“cum, y/n.”

he felt her clench around him, her back arching as her eyes snapped shut. “such a pretty girl,” he cooed, licking his fingers.

y/n cupped his jaw, kissing him tenderly. “i love you, j.”

“i love you too, baby.”

“now please fuck me,” she said.

jj grinned, pulling his shorts off followed by his boxers. his tip was oozing pre cum and it was bright pink.

“ready?” he asked, taking her hand in his; interlacing their fingers.

y/n nodded, kissing him again as he slowly slid into her. she moaned softly as his head fell into her neck.

“fuck,” he groaned.

y/n felt her face grow warm. “faster,” she pleaded.

so wrapped up in the moment, jj took his hand and placed it on her neck. she gasped as he immediately took it off.

“choke me, jj,” she whispered. he smirked, pounding into her faster. his hand gripped at her neck, squeezing as she grabbed his hips.

“such a good girl. look so pretty with my cock going in and out of you,” he praised.

“takin’ me so well,” he continued on. y/n was in pure bliss as she felt her stomach grow tight.

“i’m gonna cum, j.”

“cum for me, pretty girl.”

jj took his thumb and rubbed fast circles on her clit. letting out a loud moan, she clenched around him.

“yeah, that’s it. i’m gonna cum, y/n. i’m gonna fuck some kids into this pretty pussy.”

“please, jj,” she scratched his back, driving him further to the edge.

jj whimpered as warm spurts of cum shot out of him. he stopped his movements, sucking hickeys onto her neck.

flopping down next to y/n, he felt her lay onto his bare chest. a thin layer of sweat coated their skin as they breathed heavily.

“i love you, jj.”

“i love you too, y/n.”

jj peppered her scalp with kisses as she laughed against him. y/n heard her phone buzzing as she unlocked it.

kie: hello??!! y/n??? jj????

jb: i hope jj wore protection

pope: is jj dead yet???

sarah: can yall chill you probably just ruined the moment

y/n: we’re alive assholes

kie: FINALLY OMG

jb: how was it??? i hope you guys were practicing safe kissing ;)

sarah: you’re gross

y/n and jj laughed reading their friend’s texts.

“i’ll steal you some plan b in the morning,” he told her, putting her phone back on the nightstand.

“romantic,” she laughed, feeling his lips on her face.

-

the next morning when y/n woke up, she went to the bathroom. looking into the mirror, she noticed the letter j was bruised onto her neck.

walking into the kitchen, jj was trying to make some eggs. “you sly bastard,” she joked, motioning to her neck as she saw his almost black eggs.

jj smirked. “i uh, tried to cook for you. clearly it didn’t go as planned,” he motioned to the burnt food.

“we can pick something up on the way to john b’s,” y/n grinned, kissing her new boyfriend.

[written-beyond-the-grave]

Elija Mikaelsaon Dating a Black S/O Headcanons

Did anyone ask? No, did I deliver? Yes.

- Alright, so Elijah and the Mikaelson’s have been alive for a while. Never got a specific date, but we have vikings. And as Elijah has been alive for a minute, he’s had flings, situationships, lovers, and at some point out knight in shinning armor was probably a fuck boy… don’t @ me.

- What I’m trying to say is man probably did it all, Asian, Latinx, Caucasian and African American and maybe even African and Caribbean… Maybe even fucked around with his sexuality for a second because he got it like that and the writers were too pussy to put this shit on

- Tbh probably the originals tried all the genders and non-genders, change my mind. But elijah strikes me as a free for all who loves something refreshing that’ll take him out of Klaus’s bullshit for a minute

- But here’s were this shit gets spicey… Elijah… with a black s/o….. Just hear me out poc who been waiting for someone to give them good fucking food on poc x tvd/ the originals, I got y’all… unless college comes back.

- OK so, I feel like if you’re rocking with Elijah he’d dress you up and ice you out because he can. Nothing under $5,000 for his s/o… We talking furs, diamond, real leather, snake skin, hell even a whole ass snake if you wanna be on your Bruce Wayne shit一 better yet, your T’challa shit with a whole ass panther (black panther ain’t real soooo y’all can get a black puma and call that bitch a panther lmfaoooooo)

- He’s asking you to a dinner date and then you say you’re ready…. Wearing pretty little things…. Missguided… honey. (Nah ain’t shit wrong wit those brands, they be having bangers tbh and sales like a bitch) Let him upgrade youuuuuuu. You only wear Givenchy, Yves Saint Laurent, Burberry, Balmain, etc. Try walking out there looking a damn mess and distasteful… just try it sis 

- Speaking of which… my mans got you with hair too! Fuck you mean ?1?! 

- He had a black s/o in the past, even though her hair had loose curls… we won’t discredit her. He has some knowledge on how curl hair works, and if he’s lacking, he as a whole library and might fuck around and ask Bonnie in exchange for some witchy ingrdients (im cdfuuuuuu)

- Name, braids, twists, locs, finger waves. Wanna shave bald??? He’s for it, let him get you his barber. Fuck it, he’ll get you Marcel’s barber. Lined up and all that shit, throw in a fade too

- And coming in for wash day, he’s sitting behind you days in advance helping you take down your hair after a month or two. Grey sweatpants, scissors in hand, spray bottle to the side with Netflix as background music…. Fuck with it. You’re all tired after doing like 8 and he tells you to take it easy, with vamp speed and the deterixty of those fingers…. *chefs kiss*

- He sets up a lil wash day station for you, or if he’s on the clock just books a whole salon for you alone already paid for. But if he’s doing the work, best believe he spent the coinssss COINS for the organic shampoo shit you have the refrigerator and the deep conditioner, AND THE FUCKING LEAVE IN. He’s keeping your shit moisturized in the winter. His big hands and gentle fingers helping detangle your hair, you in a fluffy robe, enjoying being loved on….

- Y’all didn't even get me started on him doing twists… or plaits, or the bantu knots, the concentration on his face

- IDK why I gotta say this… nails done too, he loves the feel of your nails gliding on his scalp and down on his back when he’s giving you those slow strokes. 

- This doesn’t have to do with anything, but the fact that the originals were set in New Orleans which is mostly BLACK BLACK BLACK BLAAACCCKKKKK and I saw like 3 black people in that bitch, ong….. Julie Pleck, you basic bitch

- Anyways, I feel like Elijah in a trench coat coming to pick you up from work would be such a vibe and a mood. Like, he knows when you get off and you might just take public transportation or something to have some sort of independence. But he shows up after work when you’re leaving with some friends from work…. Nigga shows up in a dark blue cadillac, trenchcoat with the collar up, leather gloves… and a fresh cut

- Who tf let him out the house??

- And ik you’re friends trifling too asking who is he, a damn fine tall glass of milké

- And he’s just leaning against the door waiting for you and once he sees you, he waits for you expectedly and kisses your forehead in greeting and gets the door for you

- Speaking of driving, Elijah be too damn serious, and that’s were you come in. 

- I need him and the Miakelson’s at a cookout doing line dancing, the electric slide, cupid shuffle (and give Rebekak some goddamn friends shit, she everyone stay chasing love and shit but have 0 friends and boundaries, they drag family though the mud) 

- Like I need him out his suit and in some dark jeans, a solid white v-neck, rolex on his wrist, and white air forces

- Sitting there, kinda out of place until he settles in. Like I deadass see him asking where the tables are at the cookout and like… you break it to him he’s gonna have to do the table legs for that shit

- And the plastic cutlery! LMFAOOOOO his soul is slightly quaking

- And its finna be a whole ass test when an uncle comes up and grabs him by the shoulder in a greeting and tries to fill in the seat for spades or even worse…. Dominoes…. That’s it. It’s over. Elijah been alive for too long and knows every play in the book and can bluff his ass off

- But if we talking dominoes… we gon have the boondocks animation version of a nigga moments cuz y’all fights will be started, money will be lost…. To Elijah. In the end he gives it back bc he’s a good sport and bc humiliation is a greater victory 

- Lmfaoooo and the quiet drive back, you’re exhausted but the music station is playing throwbacks and Usher’s climax comes on and bitch… the high notes, the lamp posts that give you both a glimpse of each other’s side profiles. And for once Elijah is relaxed and coming down from his amusement. No one is trying to kill him or his siblings, and good food albeit greasy in his stomach.

- Dare he say he felt human for a moment

- You staring out the window and softly singing along enjoying what the day was, Elijah loving the ambiance created. Mmmmmm such a mood

- THAT BEING SAID imagine you and Elijah on a long drive and “I Mean It” by G- Eazy comes on and you start singing along bc data is expensive over long ass drives and being stuck in traffic. And Elijah is giving you a bemused look, you in all your glorious wonder and you just make the lyrics more dramatic ashit trying to be a heartbreaker and all that. But, the true heart breaker is Elijah

- He comes in on the verse and gives you all eye contact, lips completely sync but your can kinda hear his voice keep the tempo…. Bitch this makes me feel some type of way… and as he’s going on he grabs your face and tilts your chin up OOOOUUUU gets up all close and personal and finishes the lyrics which is perfectly timed with when the light turns green and turns back like nothing just happened. There yo are aping like a fish bc tbh if anyone could rap it’d probably be Kol, he’s like the emnemin mixed with busta rhymes type, but tone it down….

- Bitch imma go fantasize rapping Elijah, y’all been slept

- And for those asking yes, I do write for black readers, mor specifically female but I can try male

[bostonkreme]

I need 2 collect myself, they are all such genuine fine lambskin sluts. tuck me in bed & read me pierre lapin wtf. let’s do this

karl urban gets this unhinged murderous look on his face and I want him to direct it at me

frenchie mon coeur my good trainspotting bitch, are you even alive? I love you. I hate myself. If anything happened 2 u I’d bomb the national archives. c’mere i wanna shave something funny in ur hair. I know u took my fishnets but im not mad they obviously look great. alexa play nuxx by underworld before I START. SCREAMING. just kidding play that song by toulouse. I will risk it all & end up dead or incarcerated.

kimiko could make me do whatever she wanted, queen of cooking & dancing & murder. I wanna be her so bad. I will settle 4 adoring her

would also commit such serious crimes for mothers milk, he makes the slightest facial movement & I am on the edge of my seat. the tension when he pauses. he makes me wanna be a better person fr this is all so grey I’m fine

so so confusingly attracted to jack quaid, he’s exactly age appropriate & I love a well meaning comedic disaster, but…lineage. I know it’s you parent trap, I’ve got mail ok, I can’t look at you knowing I wanted to fuck your parents before I even knew what that meant. you look exactly like both of them get away from me

I’m upset about starlight going full instagram face. but I get it. everyone has filler, that’s not what I’m talking about. I understand that nose jobs are basically a welcome mat for an entertainment career, but when ppl in their 20s get buccal fat removal??? etc

it makes me sad, she was SO cute in jessica jones & is obviously gorgeous now, I just hope she’s okay later in life. I worry about people who seriously alter their faces super young!! fucking look at what they already did to dove cameron, for gods sake someone explain. I thought the point of cosmetic procedures & plastic surgery was to touch up what you already have AS you age or change something that makes you really insecure, but we are spitting out carbon copied barbies FULLY FACIALLY TRANSPLANTED BEFORE AGE 30 at a rate I cannot handle!!

discover the joy of playing with every weird kind of barbie why don’t u. how…what’s the long term testing on that much surgery in your 20s for purely cosmetic purposes? how does it hold up & affect your nerves? who was patient zero. do you realize what it looks like after a decade when a surgeon didn’t do your eyelids EXACTLY right? who wants to worry about that??

help I actually don’t know, I’m just frustrated in a way that is hard to articulate. obv I have my own image hang ups like we all do & I’m not saying erin moriarty specifically got a full head transplant & none of this is on her at all. she should do whatever & not have to explain it & when she shows up somewhere looking like this I’m like………

carry on madam, as u were, I would never even dream of challenging you??? I can handle that our eyes no longer both squint unevenly when we lopsidedly smile. and the outrageous editing, do ppl really always do that outside of photoshoots? yes. they do. wtf. none of these pictures match & you’re already so good looking. why must everyone have the exact same face without even the slightest defining characteristics. and almost everyone doing this was pretty much already industry standard gorgeous to begin with???

decided I’m going grey AND getting so much filler. I would like the sexy old witch package, just age me right up I’m tired. where in the hell was I going w this. oh jesus christ that’s right yeah I’d die 4 starlight like I do not have any notes for her I don’t think. god, so much happened I really don’t know

maeve. maeve?? QUEEN MAEVE. I will rip out every single inch of every single metro line with my bare hands & become the movie volcano. I will sink the entire eastern seaboard into the atlantic if you ever scare me like that again. love you.

the a-train storyline was like watching the writers meticulously craft two perfect beautiful puffy little cannolis & then when I’m about 2 cry at the sheer wonder of these pastries in front of me they shove them both in my ears at mach speed

antony starr is so gifted at making me hate him, I can’t even tell if he’d be attractive with brown hair bc the picture when I pause is too small and I’m already so afraid

I can’t look at chace crawford without thinking abt that girl who publicly shit herself in front of him, what a fucking queen, I know I have the screenshot somewhere bc I would never delete it. shelly miscavige is still missing btw

they gave black noir some dialogue & that was rly where they went with it. an episode that dealt so much additional trauma to my already fragile psyche that it straight up canceled out what I was already carrying around in real life. what if we all died with him in first person lmfao. my fucking synapses quit firing. I am no longer a girl, I’m a fucking iPod touch with a cracked screen playing map of tasmania by amanda palmer & I will remain this way probably at least thru the end of the week. do not plug me in or take me off repeat 1 okay just let me vibe, thank u

jensen. another very specific kind of ‘it’s 2005 and channel 3 the WB is blaring on my fatback tv with a huge antenna & we can’t acknowledge gavin degraw or he gets louder’ type of brain damage. wait now it’s 2009, do u guys wanna see my bloody valentine 3d? yeah it’s only been 5 mins but this guy is definitely the deranged killer. his friends like. abandoned him in a mine shaft.

I actually feel bad 4 him if he’s completely straight bc he definitely got offered so much dick in late 90s LA

this bitch is lifted shifted higher than the ceiling. did god take away his dog or did I hallucinate that. idk that was the best/worst month ever and I didn’t make it to the last season but I also don’t wanna say how far I did make it

what the god damn fuck do u want me 2 say

how’s it hangin coward why’d you put a sock on it

oh right the character. he’s the worst. what if we made stucky happen except he’s one person & he’s fucking himself. what if we rolled those two enormous old fruits into a stale swisher & let charlie sheen smoke it behind a gander mountain

red headed crazy girl from jessica jones is holding this show together. the affection I feel for her is tangible. she can rip out my hair instead, I’ve got extra fr

HOT SENATOR. I CANT EVEN REMEMBER HER NAME I AM SO FUCKING SORRY, GOD. MY BRAIN TURNED OFF EVERY TIME. IT’S VICTORIA. ALSO QUEEN OF MURDER

cherie 💕🥰💖 we will have a winter wedding. im thinking bordighera but whatever she wants

resurrect the milf. I can’t stand the udders and this psychotic prick needs his fucking mommy milkies bc no one ever fucking loved him and actually I shouldn’t even have to factor that in for that choice to be on the table. im kidding that would be dumb but what happened to her fkn baby lmfao was it super. don’t talk to me about the other kid I CANT

laser baby’s day out is still the best part of this universe. I believe that firmly

the real life political echoes are feeling a little too on the nose. kripke, I’m FINALLY ready to fight u and win. ugh, good job I think 😂

im good. im fine

[jksofficialwifey]

Royal Spies and Everything Nice

Summary: It's hard being a princess who's also an undercover spy, but with the help of your rival and sort of boyfrienemy Prince Jeon, maybe you'll make it through alive.

Tags & warnings: fluff, angst, some violence, just beware- jk. Rivals2luvers, some shrek characters make an appearance cos i smoke cracK das wut i smoke. Smut in the end, a lil cussing etc.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Commissioned for @nochusyn 💋 tysm for being so patient ilyyy and im so happy i didn't d13 so i could finish this! Shsh xx (if y'all wanna commission me just message me here on tumblr!)

Wc: 10k+++

A/N: I almost di3d writing this so pls read it n check it out char- begging? Lol jk. But fr, I was so sick with 39.5 fevers and I didn't even know when i would finish it but I'm so happy I finally did today! This is also like a late jk bday present. Ily all and JK always! 💜

Once upon a time in the futuristic land of Royalea, a secret spy academy was made for royals to train and become professional spies. After years of suffering from invaders and having their kin kidnapped and slain by the same invader rebels, the royals wanted to put a stop to it all, they wanted to protect their children, their future heirs.

They had learned from their past mistakes and devised a plan to become stronger. They strictly trained their children at a young age to help in preparing them to face all kinds of enemies. So that when the time comes, they will be able to protect themselves. They won't be the ones cowering in fear, feeling helpless and begging for mercy at the hands of their enemies.

They will be the ones invading other lands and eradicating anyone who threatens to come in their way. That is how they innovated their land. With their newfound courage and mindset. Within just a few years of establishing the academy, they had the latest gadgets and technology the neighboring countries would envy. Their princes and princesses trained brilliant in combat. To them, it didn't make their heirs any less poised and graceful just because they knew how to fight. Those times are done, and they knew what was most important having witnessed the chaotic events that happened before.

Although most of them thought that- not everyone did. A few royals still wanted to live the traditional way, they preferred to raise their royal children by the book and with grace, as they say. They reasoned that their heirs' responsibilities were to lead a land, not play as guards. They were curious about the superb technology their land had now, but they limited their use of it. Your parents were one of those traditional royals.

The queen was about to enjoy the morning's prepared feast, when she caught you in the corner of her eye wearing a cloak heading for the door. You were probably planning to sneak out before breakfast again. "Y/N, come back here dear. You were trying to sneak out again right? Where have you been running off to these days? I hope it's not where I think it is, because I've told you not to go there-" The queen had ranted but you cut her off. "It's not where you think it is okay? But even if it was, why won't you let me go anyway? How will I be safe If I don't know how to defend myself?"

"You know why we forbid you to go to that place. You're safer here. You don't need to become a brute to be safe. That's why there are guards to protect you, you have your own knight Hoseok to protect you-" The queen rambled and explained only to be interrupted by you again. "Well I don't want to just rely on the guards and my knight, your majesty. I wanna be able to protect myself whenever and wherever. You say I'm safer here, but you can't always assure that. I don't know why you won't just let me be a-" It was the queen's turn to interrupt you, "And I don't know why you keep on insisting to disrespect and disobey me. Don't finish that sentence or you'll regret it princess. Actually, If you won't listen to me then maybe you'd be better off inside your room the whole day. Guards, please escort Princess Y/N to her room and make sure she doesn't leave the palace."

"This is so unfair! Why are you doing this to me?" You exclaimed. "You know why, my child. It's because I only want to keep you safe. I'm doing this for you so don't dare to disobey me again, or you might have to stay in your tower for a year again." The queen warned. You didn't bother to retort anymore, it was futile.

You were bored, your breakfast was sent to your room but you didn't have the appetite to eat. You were supposed to be assigned to a new mission today, it just sucks that your mother had seen you on the way out. All of it sucked. This castle you're in, your mother, (though you loved her deeply, she can sometimes be so difficult and strict.) everyone on this planet, Prince Jeon, wait… Jeon Jungkook. That's it! Maybe if his panties aren't in a twist today- maybe he can help you get out. It won't hurt to try though, so that's what you decided to do. You took your phone and messaged him.

To Agent 🐰: 9:18 am

Hey bunny I need your help.

To Agent ��� princess: 9:19 am

And why should I help you? 🤔

To Agent 🐰: 9:20 am

Because I'm stuck here and I can't fight you if I can't get out. So come here and get me 😜

To Agent 🦊 princess: 9:21 am

Touché. But what's the magic word princess? 😉 you need to say it.

To Agent 🐰: 9:22 am

Ughh. Fr? Fine. Pls help me my furry prince and hurryyyy.

To Agent 🦊 princess: 9:23 am

I'm otw my princess. And for the Nth time I told you I'm not a furry!

Jungkook arrived to the palace after a while, the queen was always delighted to see his presence. "Prince Jungkook, It's a pleasure to see you. If you don't mind me asking, what brings you here today?" the queen inquired. "It's a pleasure to see you too your majesty. I actually came here to see Princess Y/N, is she busy?" Jungkook said albeit knowing you were stuck in your room.

"Oh not really. Let me ask the maids to get her for you."

"Um, if you don't mind your majesty, I can just go into her room myself. If that's okay?" Jungkook asked. "Of course that's okay dear. You know where her room is right?" Jungkook nodded.

Jungkook was taking a little too long, you thought. If only you had another choice, you wouldn't conspire with that annoying prince. After a few seconds, you heard someone knocking on your door. Could it be him? "Jungkook is that you?" you inquired. "No, I'm not Jungkook miss. I'm just your friendly neighborhood spiderman." you opened the door and there stood the handsome ebony haired prince. "Spiderman your ass, what took you so long? I've been waiting here for ages!" You whined. "Sorry princess, I did try to hurry a little for you. Anyway, what's the plan?" The prince said as he sat and made himself comfortable in your bed.

"Hmm. I was thinking maybe you could convince my mother to let me go out with you today," You looked at him directly, trying to convey what your plan is with your eyes. "Even though I'm supposed to be grounded. Maybe you could tell her that we're gonna practice archery, or we're gonna conquer other lands, whatever just do your thing. As gross as it is and I don't know why but, she's quite fond of you so- help me get out of here." Jungkook stares at you and notices how your long brown wavy hair falls over your face. He always thought your hairstyle matched perfectly to your face. You were actually kind of perfect to him. But he'll never tell you that of course, even if you or someone threatened to kill him.

"And what do I get by helping you princess?" He smirked. He loved teasing you and making you irritated, he thought it was kind of cute how your face would turn red from anger after he irritated the shit out of you and when you get flustered. Everytime he teased you he couldn't help but think you were sort of cute. "You can get the satisfaction of me letting you get more points on the top spies leaderboard." You replied smartly.

"As if you'd let me do that without chewing my ear off. Please give me something that's actually factual."

"Fine. Hmm, how about me promising not to insult you for a week even if you annoy the hell out of me?" You suggested smiling a little manipulatively at him. "Eh, that's lame. How about you do me a dare and maybe I'll agree to your planposal." He retorted and smirked arrogantly. You hated when he smiled like that, he's always so cocky and just because he looked handsome as hell- not that you'll admit it out loud ever, doesn't mean you'll fall for his insufferable cute ass. Wait did you just say handsome and cute? Ew. You meant evil. Yes that's what you meant… Anyway.

"Please don't say planposal ever again," You rolled your eyes at him. "Regardless, it depends on what the dare is. If you want me to run around naked and flash the whole kingdom then that's not gonna happen baby." You told him strictly.

"Don't worry princess, as satisfying that concept is for me, I don't wanna be the cause of blindness and curse the whole land." What the heck did he mean? Did he just insult me? "Whatever, Jeon. Just tell me what you want." You demanded.

"I want you." What? Did his last tiny brain cell die and now he's talking nonsense?

"What?" you replied flustered by his weird statement.

"I want you to do this mission for me. That's my dare. Why are you flustered though? Did you think about something else?" He taunted and smirked again, It's like he never stops being cocky when he's around you.

"Of course not. I'm not delusional like you. And what mission is it that you can't seem to do it yourself? Is Prince Jeon a little scared?"

"I'm not scared. It's just no fun to do it myself when I can have my princess to do it for me. That's my condition though if you want me to help you get out of here. I'll help you escape, and you'll help me when you're out. Is it a deal?"

"Hmm, tell me what mission is it and maybe I'll agree." You proposed. "You'll know when you do it, so I'm not telling you right now. Also, I want you to do another little thing for me." He grinned evilly. You have a feeling you're gonna hate him even more for what he's about to make you do. Nevertheless you agreed, if that meant he'd help you get away from your mother today. [INSERT PIC]

You were finally able to get out of the palace thanks to Jeon Jungkook's annoying face. You don't know how he charmed your mother, but at least she bought the act that the two of you were practicing your archery skills. You got what you wanted, but at the cost of your ego. You couldn't believe you actually praised Jeon Jungkook in public and embarrassed yourself on social media. Anyhow, the two of you were now on the way to the academy riding your respective monocycles. (the ones the guys in Men in Black used to ride, if you've seen the movie.)

It didn't take long for you to arrive, and before the other royal spies could see that you two came together, you already told Jungkook to maintain some distance beforehand, and act as if you didn't just hangout awhile ago.

You parked your monocycle and just as you were about to go inside the academy, you noticed how Jeon Jungkook gathered the attention of some girls and even boys too. Maybe it was the way his hair still looked perfect and fluffy in the wind, or the way he walked so gracefully just how a prince should. Either way, you couldn't deny how popular he was. He was every prince/princess' dream guy. No one could resist him, and maybe you couldn't too, maybe that's why you loathe him a lot.

In Prince Jungkook's defense, it wasn't his fault he was born so damn beautiful. He didn't pretend that he didn't notice the stares and the attention people gave him. But he also wasn't so cocky about it. He was still quite humble if he might say, and he was a shy guy too. He didn't actually care about everyone's attention, well maybe except one. It was still confusing to him how you always thought he was cocky because he was popular, as if you weren't cocky and popular too? He wondered if you noticed the other princes gawking at you when you walk by, or the insecure princesses rolling their eyes because they can't be you. You weren't even just a princess, you were one of the best spies in the academy too.

You were practicing your knife throwing skills when you noticed a presence beside you.

"Go on continue, don't mind my gorgeous presence here." He said.

"What are you doing here Jeon? And what do you want? I'm busy," you retorted. "I just wanted to remind you about our deal princess. The mission I want you to do, it's at 1800. Just wanted you to be ready."

"I'm always ready Jeon."

"I know but you might need a good luck from me personally for this one, that's why I came to see you before you go. Good luck my princess, be safe." He said and left you wondering if the mission was truly as dangerous as he hinted.

♡

It turned out that the mission was quite harder than you expected. You had to overthrow a mad king, but not just any mad king- he was a retired superspy too. It didn't help that his army were giant killer robots, and although you've trained at a young age, it was still a little difficult to defeat them alone. You understand now why Jungkook made you do this mission, it was a trap.

That insufferable prince- he'll see when you get out of this hell hole, if you get out of here alive he'll really get his ass kicked. "Ballsacks!" you cursed as you barely dodged the laser beam the giant robot just shot at you. You were debating now if you should call reinforcements but you didn't wanna lower your pride for him even more. You didn’t wanna give him the satisfaction of knowing you're failing this mission.

Just as you thought you were gonna get crushed by one of the ginormous robots- to your surprise, the nasty thing got blown into bits.

"I knew these bubblegum bombs would come in handy someday," the voice spoke. "It's really unprofessional of you to leave your gadgets behind princess. You should be thankful I decided to bring them here to you." Of course it was the insufferable agent rabbit.

"What are you doing here Jeon?" you inquired rudely.

"What does it look like I'm doing Y/N? I'm saving your ass from getting killed." he retorted, and you were taken aback when he called you by your first name. It was a rule that agents should call each other by their codenames, you wondered if he forgot about that. "How dare you call me by my name! You know that isn't allowed. Call me by my codename you idiot, and I don't need you to save me, I can save myself thank you very much." You retorted.

"You called me by my name first! Whatever, and sure you can, you were obviously not about to get crushed just five minutes ago. I didn't even get a sincere thanks from you 'cause in case you forgot, just like how you forgot your gadgets, I saved you princess." he said snarkily. "Well, I didn't ask you to, but fine thanks a lot! I'm so grateful you saved me. Happy now?" So what if he saved your ass this time, it's not like he saved the world? And you were only in this predicament because of him anyway. This was his mission and he made you do it, maybe it was your fault for underestimating the mission hence, you only brought a few gadgets- but that's not even such a big deal. So why is he blaming you and making such a fuss about this? You really despised his ass.

"That still sounds so insincere princess, but sure I'll accept that, we have bigger robots to fry right now anyway-"

"Don't stop attacking them annihilate them fast!" The mad king exclaimed as he instructed his gigantic robots to attack the two of you even harder. You heard his minions reply and called him Agust, maybe that was his name. Jungkook and you were hiding at this point, their attacks were getting stronger and you really needed to finish this mission fast but that's still a problem for now. Luckily Jungkook thought of a plan, and he decided you should use the remaining bubblegum bombs to destroy all the massive robots, but you had to chew the gums first before blowing it on them.

You blew the last one on the king and successfully eradicated his existence for good. It was satisfying to defeat him albeit it wasn't that easy.

"Ugh, finally we can go home now." Jungkook whined. "Yeah, mayhaps I can't believe we could work as a team." You added. "A team? I did all the work though? Without me you'd probably be-" you cut him off, "Yeah sure, whatever but I still helped blow the gum bombs! Anyway, we better leave now my mother's probably worried."

"I would be too, if I had a daughter like you." he remarked. "What's that supposed to mean Jeon?" You glared at him. "Oh nothing, nothing my princess." there he goes again smirking like a cocky idiot. Gross. He didn't even stop grinning when you rode your monocycles all the way home.

~♡~

"Prince Jeon, Princess Y/N, It's late. What took you so long?" The King inquired. You were surprised to say the least that it wasn't your mother, the queen who was waiting for you when you arrived. "Sorry if I took her out so long your majesty, we decided to visit my kingdom after practicing archery and got distracted. We didn't realize the sun had already set when we were done, my apologies." Jungkook smoothly reasoned.

"It's fine, next time just don't stay out too late. Though Y/N dear, what happened to your dress? It's as dirty as a peasant! Is that how a princess should behave and carry herself? You're lucky your mother isn't here and on an emergency meeting right now, or you'll be grounded for life!" Your father added. "Dad I-" you were about to defend yourself and explain when Jungkook cut you off.

"It's actually my fault, your majesty. Please don't blame Princess Y/N. We were playing at the castle, and mayhaps we had too much fun. I apologize again, your majesty." Jungkook looked at you in a conspiring way, as if to tell you to ride along with his story. "Very well. You should stop apologizing son, accidents can happen." Wow. Your father didn't get mad at the obnoxious rabbit prince, but he got mad at you, how fracking fair. It's totally fine. You truly felt great. "Although you both should always be mindful of how you look and your actions, you are royalty after all." The king added.

"Of course dad, even though I didn't ask to be born like this…" You quipped, voice lowering a little as you finished saying it. "What did you say Y/N?" "Nothing dad, can I go eat dinner now? I'm hungry as heck. Bye Jeon, have a safe trip on the way home." You told Jungkook and were already heading to the dining area when your father decided to say something that stopped you from going there completely, "Mind your language dear, also it's truly quite late, aren't you starving Prince Jungkook?" The king inquired, staring at Jungkook to check his reaction. "Um, It's late your majesty I should be heading home, and I don't know if Princess Y/N wants me to eat with her…" You glared at him and mouthed 'What the fck Jeon? You frackin pig!' well obnoxiously he looked like a rabbit with his big bunny teeth, but the way he was acting now- he was like a starving pig. The king ignored what Jungkook said and told him, "Nonsense boy! I'm sure Princess Y/N will be delighted to have you join us for dinner. I already ate actually, but I'd love to join you both for dinner again I could get some snack- you can't always have enough snacks!" The king exclaimed enthusiastically.

"But dad-" you try to dissuade him to no avail, "No buts my lovely daughter, Prince Jungkook will be joining us for dinner. You should probably change your clothes before you eat dinner, Jungkook and I will head to the dining room first. Come along now Jungkook," The king beckoned as Jungkook followed him to the dining room. You were planning to have a peaceful dinner tonight, but of course Jeon Jungkook would ruin that as fracking always. When will he ever stop annoying you?

You went to your room begrudgingly, and changed into some casual clothes that were still appropriate for dinner but also for having an annoying guest eating with you. After a short while, you finally joined them to eat. You sat beside Jungkook and your father was at the center of the table. It wouldn't have been awkward if your father didn't start to ask obnoxious questions.

"So Prince Jeon, what have you been up to these days? Searching for potential wife candidates?" The king inquired. You glared at your father. Jungkook almost choked on a piece of steak he was eating, but he managed to answer after drinking some water. "Uh, I've been busy with my duties your majesty. Ensuring the safety of my people and thinking of ways to stop the remaining rebels. I haven't really had the time to look for potential wife candidates."

"Oh. It's good to hear that you prioritize the safety of your people Prince Jeon. But you're not getting any younger. Soon enough, you'll need a good wife to be your future queen and help you lead the kingdom. Do you have anyone in mind right now?" The king probed. "Dad- stop being so nosy." You said, annoyed and a little embarrassed. "I'm not, I'm just asking the boy if he has an idea or a person in mind to be his future queen. So do you, Prince Jeon?"

"Um- as I've said your majesty, I'm too busy to think about marriage right now. I'm still young though, so I'm not that in a hurry to get married." Jungkook replied a little uncomfortable but still respectful. "That's comprehensible. I think Y/N here," Your father said while looking at you, "is the same too."

"Although, I have someone in mind for her already." The king announced, making Jungkook feel something weird inside him. Jungkook wondered what the king meant- or who he meant? For some crazy reason, he can't imagine you marrying someone. Or someone else… Of course not that he wants to marry you! But- maybe it wouldn't be so bad at all too. "Okay, this conversation is over dad," You told the king. "We're done eating and Jungkook has to go home, so goodbye everyone I'm going to my room now." You stood up and went to your room in a hurry.

"But Y/N I'm not done talking you brat! I still haven't finished this delicious croissant-" The king quipped disappointedly. "She's quite a disrespectful brat sometimes, I wonder who she got it from- forgive my daughter Jeon."

"It's okay your majesty, I was about to leave too. I'll be going now if you don't mind-"

"Wait-" Jungkook stood up and sat again because of what the king said. "I hope you're not mad at her, she really is a little hard to handle." The king looked at him pitifully, "Oh, I'm not your majesty. Though I won't disagree with you on that statement- about her being hard to handle I mean…" he joked.

"Yes, she is quite stubborn. But I'm sure you can handle her quite well." Jungkook was confused again, what did your father mean? "I'm sorry your majesty, I don't really get what you're trying to say?" The king looked him in the eye gleefully and said, "I'm saying, I like you- for her. I think the both of you would make a perfect match." Jungkook blushed, oh. So that's what he meant.

"Don't you agree Prince Jeon?" The king teased him further. "I-... Yes I suppose so, your majesty." He shyly replied. It would be rude to disagree, or say awful stuff. "That is- if you're not secretly a couple yet, are you not?"

"No!" Jungkook replied a little too loud. "I meant- no we aren't yet your majesty. We're not secretly seeing each other…" he backtracked, calmer now. "Oh, you aren't yet. That's alright, the two of you are still young- there's still a lot of time. We're just excited for your wedding and to see our grandchildren! But all in God's perfect timing- anyway sorry for keeping you here, have a safe trip home Prince Jeon! Hopefully you'll be calling me dad soon." The king whispered the last bit as Jungkook was finally on his way out of the palace, but he still heard it to his dismay, and it didn't help in making the forming blush on his cheeks go away. The thought of getting married with you isn't so appalling to him- but having kids right away… it was weird to think about. The whole conversation was weird to think about and yet it was the most constant thing on his mind the whole night.

~💜~

You were lucky the queen was still on an important meeting as you made your way out of the palace, or so you thought- when your father, the king shouted your name in your lawn. Of course he made you go back to your room, and unless you had important things to do outside you won't be able to go out. And because of that, you resorted to call the bunny prince for help again. So now, you're waiting for him to be your knight in shining armor and take you away from the palace again. After an hour of agony, he finally arrived and managed to convince your father with a shitty excuse to let you go with him. If you weren't seeing things, you might've thought they were whispering some secret information to each other. Your parents always looked like they were so elated to see that prince in the palace. Your dad was being weird now too. Men are such eerie creatures, you thought.

"Hey Jeon. What were you whispering about to my dad a while ago?" You called to him as you rode your speedy monocycles. "What?" Mayhaps he didn't hear you, as the wind gushed too loud. "I said- nevermind." You didn't bother to ask him what they talked about anymore, maybe it didn't matter anyway. You were nearing the academy, and you parked your monocycle right away when you arrived. Not bothering to look at him and see his fangirls flocking over him again.

You were practicing with throwing your dart knives when you overheard a girl and a familiar someone talking. "Baby! You're always so hot and perfect! you're on the top spies leaderboard again, marry me please!" Her rat-like voice annoyed you, so you decided to stare at her in hopes that she'll feel a little embarrassed at least. But to no avail, she only continued her mouth breathing sentiments."I don't mean to be rude Princess Fiona, but I'm not ready to get married right now." or ever with you, Jungkook wanted to add- but he only did in his mind.

And of course, the cause of this headache inducing fiasco is no other than Prince Jungkook, why are you even surprised? Why can't they be annoying somewhere else? Probably a million miles away from you? "Oh, I don't mean right away silly. Maybe in a few weeks or months? I just know we're meant to be my prince." Gawd, you're actually praying for her future husband. Hopefully he can stand her annoying rat-ogre voice. "I'm sorry Fiona, I really think I'm not the right guy for you. Although I heard Lord Farquaad seemed to have feelings for you." Jungkook suggested. "What? Lord Farquaad? Ew, he's a midget gross. Is that why you won't marry me? Are you jealous baby? You don't have to be!" she squealed and giggled, you had to stop yourself for aiming at her face, it wasn't the knife's fault and you were against animal cruelty anyway.

"No," Jungkook sighed, she wasn't getting it. "I'm not jealous. I just think you're better off with Lord Farquaad, and I'm better with…"

"Better with who? Oh please tell me Prince Jeon who's better with you rather than I?" She seemed to look around at other girls, hoping to find the answer to her question when Jungkook still couldn't reply. She only stopped when she noticed you looking at her too, so you looked away from her and turned your attention on a laser gun that was displayed instead. You were planning to tune them out fully, when she spoke something that triggered something in you. Something you didn't quite like.

"When you said you were better off with someone else, did you mean to say you were better off with someone like Princess Y/N? Are you serious Prince Jeon? She's not even that pretty, or that great of a spy." Hearing her utter those ill-founded words made your blood boil, how dare she point out your flaws and insecurity? You were already one of the best spies, yet you still trained to be a better spy everyday, even if you being a spy was against your parents' wishes- maybe that's why you couldn't control your next actions- you threw one of the dart knives at her direction.

Lucky for her, it missed her face by a centimeter. Actually, if you wanted to hit her you could've, but you just wanted to shut her up. And shut her up you did. She was too shocked to speak at first, too in awe at what happened. Until she regained her senses and confronted the perpetrator. "You! Y/N how dare you try to impale my face with that dirty knife! My father will hear about this!" she pointed at you looking mad and ogre-like at the same time.

"Oh stop being too dramatic Fiona, maybe it was an accident, I'm sure Y/N didn't mean to throw it at you." Jungkook said glancing your way, though it looked more like he was trying to save your ass rather than comfort the ogre like princess. "But I did though Jungkook. I meant to aim it at her to shut her up," You replied looking Fiona directly in the eyes. "See Jungkook? She didn't even deny it!" she exclaimed.

"Which I only did because of what you spoke about me. You had the audacity to insult and slander me, yet you got scared of almost getting what you deserved. Please Princess Fiona save it for someone who cares, it's not me or Jungkook but mayhaps another ogre does." You kept your knives and walked away from them. "Come back here you bitch! You still have to pay for almost murdering me!" she screamed wanting to follow you, but Jungkook held her back from doing so.

"Fiona stop harassing Y/N. You won't follow her nor will you continue to insult her, if you as much touch her hair or be near her- you'll be hearing from me. And I also won't hesitate to tell your father about what you're doing." Jungkook reprimanded her and left the fuming princess to follow after you.

Jungkook found you at another training station trying some new gadget that was actually quite useful to distract and even escape rebels, if you were in a hurry. You didn’t seem to notice him yet or you pretended not to, so he made his presence known by speaking first.

"That seems really handy, you could totally make use of that a lot when needing an escape for extremely hard missions." You were still ignoring him so he spoke again. "Not saying you always escape hard missions-" You interrupted him. "Then what are you saying Jeon? Just because I needed a little help from you on that difficult mission, doesn't mean I'll always need someone or something to save me. For the record, I don't always rely on gadgets to defeat enemies, I've successfully completed a lot of missions without them."

"I know that Y/N, I'm just trying to give you some advice." he retorted. "More like you're trying to prove to me that you're always right."

"But aren't I babe? I'm indeed always right,"

"Don't call me that, hearing you call me it just gave me a disease." You chided. "Oh really? I bet you secretly like it though, just like you like me." He boasted. "Wait what? Where did that come from? Are you on crack or did your last brain cell finally decided to leave you?" How dare he assume and say such horrendous things? He's probably hallucinating or something.

"Excuse me I don't do crack, but you don't have to deny it. I get it you're shy, and you were jealous of Fiona that's why you acted up a while ago-" he's truly insufferable. "Me Jealous? Please don't delude yourself, wake up from that dream it isn't healthy." You wanted to leave his delusional ass once more, but he prevented you from doing that when he cornered you to a wall and got too close for comfort. "I can prove it you know, that you're jealous," He was breathing hotly on your face, staring deeply into your eyes and slowly, he seemed to inch his face closer to yours- as if planning to steal a taste of your lips, you were so flustered that you decided to close your eyes. Waiting and kind of hoping to feel his soft lips on yours, but it never came.

Because just before Jungkook could kiss you, you heard someone cough, and the both of you decided to break apart from each other. "Ehem. Agent Y/N and Agent JK, I'm going to assign mission partners, you should both probably be at the assembly hall so you don't miss it." Your instructor said looking at the two of you weirdly. You both awkwardly looked at him back and nodded.

💜

"Agent Fiona and Agent Farquaad, you'll be partners for this mission and probably the succeeding ones too." Your instructor announced, Fiona grimaced seemingly disappointed with who her partner was but not bothering to say anything. Meanwhile, Farquaad had a smile on his face as he was partnered with the gal he liked. When your turn came, you couldn't believe the luck you just had to be partnered with the guy you wanted to avoid the most.

"Agent Y/N and Agent JK, you’ll be partners for this mission and the succeeding ones, as you both are the best spies in this academy." Your instructor said with gleam in his eyes. Did he plan this? Did he think you and Jungkook got along well because of what he almost saw a while ago? What the hell? What is he doing? You were having an internal monologue, as you were still having a hard time processing the fact that you'll have to spend more time with annoying Prince Jungkook again. You couldn't believe it, you wouldn't. Your mental breakdown was interrupted by someone's disgustingly familiar voice speaking to you,

"So, partners huh? I'd say I'm glad to be partnered by a top spy in our academy, but I'm not really sure I am. Maybe 'cause I loathe it as much as you do?" You glared at him. "As if I'll be partners with you," you retorted and stormed off to find your instructor to plead with him.

"Um. Excuse me sir, can I please switch partners?" you pleaded to your instructor when you found him. "Agent Y/N… I'm sorry, but I chose your partners for a reason. Also, Agent JK is one of the best spy princes. I don't understand why you don't wanna be partners with him?" He replied.

"I know sir, but- we just don't get along that well, and actually, I think I can handle a mission on my own just fine." you explained. "I'm one of the best spies as you've said, and we all know that's true so… Please?"

"I'm really sorry Agent Y/N, but my decision is final. Your partner is Agent JK, and if you have problems with each other right now, then hopefully this mission will help you guys resolve it, and make you feel closer." Your instructor paused for a bit, you didn't know why but he was seemingly and suddenly in deep thought. "If you don't mind me asking and I don't mean to be nosy, but are you guys having a lovers quarrel or something?" he inquired.

"W-what? Of course not sir! Me and him lovers? Not in this lifetime. Why did you even think of that if I may ask?" you were flustered but curious. Did your instructor think of that because of what he saw a while ago? You didn't even know what truly transpired between you and Jungkook in that moment, you just knew that it felt right and wrong at the same time. "I think you realize that I saw you both a while ago, you two were pretty close to each other. I just thought you might be dating. It's a little disappointing that you aren't but that's okay." you fought another blush that threatened to show in your cheeks because of what your instructor said.

"But sir- why would it be disappointing?" you asked dumbly. "It's a little disappointing because you two look great together. You're both compatible in my opinion," he said looking at you seriously. "You're both top spies, both popular within the academy and even outside of it, you're both competitive, but you complement each other. Should I tell you more?" you didn't know if he was asking rhetorically or if he really wanted you to answer that question, so you just looked at the walls of the academy instead. But you also thought about what he said, did you and Jungkook really complement each other?

"If you don't have anymore questions Agent YN, I'll be going now. I still have some tasks to do, but remember that I'm rooting for both of you." he smiled at you knowingly, and your instructor went back to his room. Whether he meant that in regards to you both being spies, or the concept of you and Jungkook dating, mayhaps it was both- you didn’t know. But you were more scared than curious to ponder about it and find out.

You still went home together with Jungkook despite of the awkward air around the two of you, even if you didn't wanna be partners with him mayhaps you didn't have any choice, so why bother complaining about it anymore. You both chose to stay silent during the ride on the way home, not really talking until you arrived at the palace.

👑

"You got home late again. What have you both been doing that's taking up your whole time and day?" The king inquired immediately when you both arrived. "Dad- we were just…" You replied until Jungkook cut you off again, he seemed to be doing that frequently these days.

"We were just hanging out as usual your majesty. Actually- we're hanging out too much because…" Jungkook hesitantly took a peek in your direction, "Because- we're dating." what in the name of crippled hairy ballsacks is he on now? Mayhaps he's really lost it and now cursing you.

"What the hell are you talking about Jeon?" you yelled and glared at him. He looked like he was trying to talk to you telepathically with his eyes, because he obviously can't do it with his mind. "Y/N- can you just play along-" he whispered to you. Your father wasn't all too happy with the way you screamed and cursed though, so he reprimanded you again. "Princess Y/N! Your language!" he also yelled brows furrowed in disappointment. "Have you forgotten your manners? A princess doesn't act like a tasteless fool!" he chided, you ignored him and pretended that you didn’t hear him. You just wanted to go to your room and disappear forever.

"And you Prince Jeon, is what you're saying the truth?" The king said as he looked at Jungkook pointedly. "Are you and Y/N truly dating? Why haven't you told us this? When did you both even start seeing each other?"

"Your majesty I can explain. Please don't be furious at us- or at least at Y/N that much-" Jungkook reasoned. "We wanted to keep it a secret for a while, as we were afraid of your reaction."

"Well aren't you afraid now? You just confessed your relationship in front of me." The king said. "We still are. Though I thought maybe you needed to know now, because secrets aren't meant to be kept forever." Jungkook explained.

"And is that truly the reason why you keep visiting Princess Y/N here and having all your rendezvous?" The king inquired again. "Well obviously dad, didn't you hear what he said?" You retorted smartly. You decided you were going to go with whatever this ballsack show Jungkook wants to play, if that meant your real secret won't be found out. (that is if they don't know of it already and are just letting you go for now.) Anyway, If this fake relationship is your escape pass then so be it. You were still planning to confront Jungkook about this shit show later though.

"Stop being sassy you brat, I wasn't talking to you, I was clearly asking our prince here." your dad scolded you. "Did you even court her properly Prince Jeon? I hope you did everything you can to truly deserve her heart."

"I- I did…Your majesty. I can tell you all about how I wooed her during dinner. That is if you'll allow me to stay for dinner?" Jungkook somewhat smoothly replied. You gave him a grim warning look- because he was really pushing it. Though mayhaps, you supposed him staying for dinner wouldn't be so insufferable- since you could talk to him after, and discuss what's going on in his heinous mind.

"Alright, Prince Jeon. You can stay for dinner, and maybe you can convince me if you're truly fitting for my dear Princess Y/N." The king replied.

👸🤴👑

Your father and Jungkook chatted amicably, though the king interrogated Jungkook a lot about your relationship. The king asked about how you both realized you were in love with each other, which was awkward because you weren't really in love. You let Jungkook do all the talking since he's a better liar in your opinion. Your father even had the audacity to ask when was your first kiss together? To which Jungkook almost choked on his water, while his cheeks burned red. It didn't seem like he'd stop interrogating Jungkook soon, so before he could ask Jungkook more personal questions like, if you'd slept together already- (It was common for the new generation of royals in your land to sleep around even before being wed.) You decided to interrupt and end their conversation.

You excused yourself from the table, telling your father you were full, and took Jungkook with you. The king surprisingly allowed you to go without a lot of fuss, but he did shoot you both suggestive looks. When you got to your room, Jungkook seemed to be relieved that you stopped the king from torturing him even further. Maybe using the word 'torturing' was a bit harsh- but that was kinda what Jungkook felt when your father asked him all those personal questions. Not that he was truly in pain, but more like he felt weird thinking about all the little white lies he told the king. He wondered if in the future it might come true? Would he still feel awkward or would he enjoy it? He was interrupted from his pondering when he heard your adorable voice, he realized you were talking to him.

"Hello?? Earth to rabbit prince? I was asking you a question but you seemed to be on planet mars or something," You commented while sitting on your bed. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about some stuff and things…" He was thinking about the possibilities of you and him- was what he wanted to say, but he'll probably never say it even if he was blackmailed by an enemy. "Stuff and things huh? Are you the main lead of Walking Dead now? Anyway- I was just asking you why you suddenly decided that we should fake date?"

"I-" Jungkook sighed while sitting on the chair near your bed, "I thought you had the idea why already," he simply replied. "Well, maybe I do have an idea." you told him. "But is my idea correct? Did you do it so I could go on missions without having a hard time sneaking out on my parents?"

"I guess. Mayhaps, I wanted to help you in a way." he shyly admitted, avoiding looking at your direction. "For real though? Why? What's in it for you?" you inquired, curious as to why he did such things to help you. "I don't know, maybe just because," was his curt reply. "Just because? What kind of answer is that? It doesn't make sense. I still want to know Jungkook," you probed.

"Maybe it's just because I can okay?" you looked at him still unconvinced. "Fine- maybe because I feel a little bad for you. You have boomer parents who still think you should stick to being a prim and proper princess, when we both know how much you want to be an amazing superspy too. And you already are," He told you, looking at you proudly. "But, I know how much you want to protect yourself and the people you love. I know that you love being a spy and going on missions. So maybe, that's why I made the whole fake dating show." He proclaimed.

"Okay...that seems comprehensible. You didn't have to do it, but you still did anyway. So I wanna thank you for that." you told Jungkook honestly. "Actually I was mad at first, I was confused about what your plan was. I didn't realize you were doing it for me. But when I did, I guessed it didn't seem so bad after all." you confessed looking at him shyly. "It's okay, I didn't tell you about it beforehand too. So I can understand why you were mad." he replied.

"Uh… yeah. Though, I'm still sorry for being rude. I guess we'll have to get along because we're partners now anyway." you suggested. "Okay, I guess we should try to be friends since we're partners now." Jungkook replied. Maybe being friends with Jungkook wouldn't be so bad.

👑

Your first official mission with Jungkook was at a nearby kingdom. It was reigned by the Kim family, and now ruled by their obnoxious tyrant son, Kim Seokjin. His beloved parents have been deceased for a few years now, that is why he's became king, and is doing whatever he wants with the land. Your mission is to teach him a lesson; and that is to learn how to share his wealth to his people. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. He's using up all the land's wealth for his selfish needs, and leaving his people to die of hunger and starvation.

Meeting King Seokjin was quite amusing. He didn't even spare you a glance as he sat on his throne, and looked at his face in his handheld mirror. He seemed to focus on his face only, quite a narcissistic trait. He also didn't seem to take you both seriously when you told him that he should change his ways- before it's too late. That is why you had no choice but to make him listen to you even if you had to exert a little force.

You had shot the wall near where he was sitting with your laser gun, (you also finally decided to bring a few gadgets just in case.) therefore catching his attention, finally. "What the hell? Are you deranged? Why did you do that you imbecile! You could've hit my beautiful face! I could have you killed for trying to scratch my gorgeous face you know!" King Seokjin exclaimed. "Well we had to get your attention you narcissistic king. You won't listen to us." Jungkook answered him for you.

"Stop acting like a spoiled child, and help your people. They need you." You retorted. "Who are you peasants to even tell me what to do?!! Actually, how did you both even get inside here? Guards!" the tyrant king screamed. "We're just people who were sent to teach you a lesson. Your guards are asleep if you must know. We kind of knocked them out, sorry about that your majesty." Jungkook quipped.

"Who are you heathens? I don't have time for your tomfoolery, so if it's money you want then just tell me how much and maybe I'll give you some." King Seokjin proclaimed. "We don't want any of your dirty money. What we want is that you learn how to share them with your people." You chided. "Share my money with commoners? What kind of ridiculous thing are you talking about? I'll never share my wealth with useless peasants! Never!"

"The useless peasants you called are the ones feeding you, and are the source of the food you eat. You don't even pay them for their rice and crops, you only know how to take but never give back." "I don't care what you say! I'm not sharing my money with slaves or anyone else even til I die!" he screamed. It seemed like he truly wasn't gonna cooperate or change his ways, so you had to resort to doing things by force yet again.

"Fine, you're really not gonna change? Then we'll just have to make you then." You announced to him. "Oh. please make me!" King Seokjin mocked. "Oh we really are, until you learn your lesson you selfish king." Jungkook retorted. And before he could reply or notice, you were both tying him up on his chair that he loves sitting on. And when he realized what you had done, it was too late and he couldn't move anymore. "What are you doing? Let me go! You'll pay for this you crazies!"

"I think we won't be paying for anything unlike you, your majesty. Now if you don't want us to carry you and leave you outside for the townspeople to beat up- you'll give us the money to pay your people." Jungkook demanded. "How dare you threaten me?! I'm not scared of you buffoons! And I'm not giving you any of my money! If you don't untie me this instant, you'll truly regret it! I promise you both!" He exclaimed. "I see you still won't cooperate with us, Okay. Let's go agent Fox."

Jungkook motioned for you to untie King Seokjin on the chair, only to tie him up again as Jungkook carried him down his throne. You were about to go out and leave him on the streets for the townspeople to beat up, when he suddenly screamed and begged you both not to. "Wait! Are you really gonna leave me out there to get beaten up?! Please don't! They'll ruin my beautiful face! Ok- Okay! I'll tell you where my money is and share them to my people! Just put me down please!"

"Are you seriously gonna help your people now? Do you promise?" Jungkook inquired. "Yes! Yes I promise! Now please put me down." King Seokjin replied. Jungkook put him back on his throne and you both waited for him to do what he promised. After getting some money from his secret vault, he then fulfilled his promise of paying the people he's been indebted with for so long. You both went with him to visit the townspeople he neglected and left to starve. Surprisingly, he paid them without so much fuss and no complaints from him. Even the townspeople were shocked at his sudden actions.

After giving the people the money they deserved, You were both surprised to be invited by the King for dinner. He explained that he wanted to thank you for making him realize his selfish ways, and he wanted to show you how grateful he was by letting you enjoy a good meal. Not wanting to be rude and mayhaps you were both kinda hungry too, you accepted his offer of dinner.

The dinner with the king went well. Mayhaps too well that is. You were just finishing your dessert when you felt a little light headed. You didn’t wanna think about it too much and ignored it, but then you felt dizzy. You decided to ask Jungkook if he felt the same weird feeling you felt but when you looked at him sitting beside you he was already knocked out on the table. Something seems amiss. "Excuse me King Seokjin, there's something wrong with your food. Did you put something in it?" you asked struggling to stay conscious. You knew you were right, when you looked at the treacherous king. He was grinning. "Oh. Did I? It's such a shame you caught on too late my dear. Have a nice slumber!" You were really gonna kick his ass when you regain your strength. But for now you had no choice but to succumb to the darkness inviting you so enticingly. Your last memory being King Seokjin's taunting and laughing face.

You woke up confused and unsure of where you were, til you remembered the events of yesterday. The narcissistic king. The dinner. Jungkook. You guys blacked out. It was morning you guessed, but you couldn't really see anything since you had been blindfolded. Your other senses were more alert since you couldn't see, but you just wanted to feel if Jungkook was there with you. If he was near you. "Agent Bunny…? Are you here? Are you near me?" you called, you were glad the crazy king didn't tape your mouth to shut you up so you could call out for your partner. You were starting to get nervous because you didn't hear Jungkook respond right away. What if King Seokjin did something to him? Where did he take him?

You wanted to escape at that moment and find Jungkook, but you realized your hands were tied up. You couldn't do so much but try to thrash around and be free. Your gadgets were probably confiscated too, so you couldn't use them. You were still trying to escape when you heard a muffled sound that made you stop. Was it Jungkook? "Agent Bunny! Was that you? Are you okay? I'll get us out of here, don't worry!" Jungkook tried to reply, but of course all you heard was his muffled voice. You thrashed again as if it'll help you, when the traitor king made his presence obvious. "Oh you should worry. If you don't stop moving around, the rope that's holding you might snap. And you wouldn't want to know where you'll be falling into." he chided.

The rope that's holding you? What did he mean? Weren't you sitting down on a chair? Wait- is that why it feels weird and unstable? Are you… hanging in the air? Ballsacks. "Fine, since I'm feeling a little merciful today, I'll let your partner or is he your boyfriend? give you a little warning." the king said as he removed the cover on Jungkook's mouth, "Y/N- I meant- agent Fox! stop moving! The rope that's holding your chair is weak, If it snaps you'll fall into a piranha tank!" In Jungkook's haste to warn you, he forgot and called you by your real name again.

You didn't really mind his mistake that much right now, until the obnoxious king taunted you. "Wait- did I hear that right? Did your boyfriend just call you Y/N? Is that your name princess? It is isn't it? A dreadful name for a dreadful girl!" You weren't actually tasked to kill him but you just might. How dare he slander your name? Just he wait til you get out of here alive, you'll absolutely kick his ass! "Shut up you're the dreadful one Kim Seokjin! How dare you call her that, and insult her name!" Jungkook defended you.

"Yada yada. You're the one who should shut up. Do you want to be muffled again?" the king threatened your partner. "Let us go you foolish king! What do you gain from doing all of this anyway?" You inquired. "And what if I don't huh? What are you gonna do about it? Nothing! You can't do anything you tied up fools! You asked me what do I gain from this? A satisfying revenge! And now your boyfriend is gonna see you get eaten by piranhas, but he won't be able to do anything but watch." He retorted.

Of course it makes sense how Jungkook was able to see where you were right now, the king didn't blindfold Jungkook like he did with you. But he covered his mouth instead. "You're wrong, King Seokjin. I'm gonna save her and you can't stop me!" Jungkook screamed furious at the king. "And how are you planning to do that? You can't even get up from your seat. I'd tell you I'd like to see you try, but I've already wasted too much of my precious time for this nonsense." King Seokjin yawned seemingly to show his boredom and annoyance. "Guards! Pull the rope and bring her down." He ordered to them, but before they could pull the rope and feed you to the piranhas- a commotion happened.

And there stood, two people you didn't expect to see. "Our instructor was wondering where you two were ya know? Tsk. For supposedly being the best spies you two are getting rusty." Fiona the ogre looking princess said. "Anyway, sir told us to find you guys and save your asses, that's why we're here. I don't like you but sir asked us to save you both- so it's whatever." Fiona said as she got rid of the guards who were still trying to pull you down. Of course Agent Farquaad came with her too, and he was the one who helped untie Jungkook. Seokjin was still shookt at how his plans crumbled ever so quickly, that he just stood there mouth agape.

For the first time in your life, you were kinda relieved to see her. You finally got out of your restraints and you wanted to face King Seokjin right away, but Fiona's next words stopped you. "Now that we've saved you both, our job here is done. Though next time, try to do your job better idiots so we don't have to do it for you." she told you as they were about to go, you didn't have the time to get mad at her so you just ignored her, but before they actually did she told you one last thing. "Oh I almost forgot, there are rumors about rebels planning to attack this dumb king who hostaged you. They might be on the way here now. We'd love to help ya guys, but we have other rebels from another city to take care of. So ttyl!" and then she scurried off with her partner.

Well it's not like you can't fight the rebels yourselves, but an earlier warning would've been nice. You moved closer to Jungkook who was keeping an eye on the now submissive king. "So bunny, what's the plan now?" you inquired. "I guess we wait for them to arrive and defeat them all." was his reply. You nodded in agreement, of course that's what you're going to do.

The rebels arrived not long after, and it was quite a taxing battle, but nothing you weren't used to. They carried high tech weapons too, but you managed to steal some from them and use it on them. Just as one rebel almost shot King Seokjin, you managed to pull him to the side just in time and save his plumpous ass. To say he was shocked that you saved him, was an understatement. He was literally in awe that you still saved his life, even if he had tied you up and almost fed you to the piranhas.

The act was actually enough that he started to mayhaps have a change of heart. After a hundred butts kicked and a few exhausting hours later, you finally defeated the rebels. Police reinforcements came to collect most of them (because a few rebels always manage to escape) and took them to jail, meanwhile you've never wanted more but to get back home already and just lie on your bed for a month. Your partner looked exhausted too, but still undeniably handsome. Not that you'll ever admit that to him. You were actually missing home, even though it's only been a day. Your parents would probably- oh glob, your parents! They're probably worried sick now. You hope you'll still be allowed to go out after this.

You were so busy worrying if you'll get grounded, that you didn’t notice the narcissistic King coming up to you. "Hey." He called out, breaking you out of your thoughts and surprising you. What did he want now? "I just wanted to say, thanks for saving me. You shouldn't have, but you still did anyway. And I'm sorry for everything. Promise, I'm being sincere this time." He seemed sincere with his apology, even though he couldn't really look you in the eye that well. You could say he was embarrassed? Or guilty? Maybe both. Still, you wanted to tease him and so you probed. "Are you really being honest now? Or is it another act of yours to deceive me again?"

"I'm being sincere this time I swear, I really felt awful about what I did to you. What I did to you both." he corrected. "I realized how selfish and crazy I've been, and I'm honestly sorry for that." "Well it's great that you realized your mistakes. I forgive you I guess, I don't wanna hold grudges for too long anyway." you replied. "Really? Thank you so much! I swear I'll prove to you that I'll change for real this time." he exclaimed getting your partner's attention, making him check up on you both in case something's wrong.

"Is everything alright with you two?" Jungkook asked. "Yeah bunny. He was just apologizing that's all." you replied. "Oh ok. Wait- he apologized? For real? How unbelievable." he then sent an accusing look at King Seokjin. "Yes he did. He seemed genuine so let's just let bygones be bygones." "Yeah. You sure he won't drug us to sleep again?" "Jungkook-"

"I won't. I should've never, it was truly wrong of me. I'm sorry for taunting you and for every wrong thing I've done. Believe me, I really do feel shitty for hurting you guys who saved me." King Seokjin heard your conversation and decided to apologize to Jungkook too. "If there's anything I could do to make it up to you guys, just please tell me. I'll do it in a heartbeat." "Hmm. Maybe there is something you could do." Jungkook suddenly had an idea.

👑

"Princess Y/N! Where have you been? we've been worried sick about you! Your mother couldn't sleep waiting for you!" Your father said when you finally arrived home. "Dad it was just a day, we were invited by our friend King Seokjin to stay for the night because it was getting late." you reasoned.

"King Seokjin? Is he the gorgeous man standing next to Jungkook right now?" your father inquired. "Yes dad," "Who is he? Why didn't you both tell us about him?" "He's our new friend, we helped him and he felt grateful so he made us stay for the night."

"It's amazing how you can plan quite a perfect lie my dear, you may have fooled your father- but we both know you can't fool me." the queen finally appeared. "So tell me Y/N, where were you really?" "Mom… I can explain-" "Were you at that spy academy of yours? Or going on those nonsense missions weren't you? I'm very disappointed in you Y/N. I thought you had quit being a useless spy. But of course, you had lied to me." she scolded you. You didn’t know what hurt more, the fact that she was disappointed in you, or the fact that she thought and probably still thinks- you're a useless spy.

"She isn't a useless spy, she saved me for crying out loud!" you were surprised to see King Seokjin was actually defending you. Maybe he truly had changed. "It's true your majesty. She isn't a useless spy, in fact she's one of the best spies in our academy. She's one of the best spies I know." Jungkook added. "Spectacular, but I don't recall asking you both for your opinion. So I suggest you both stay out of this. King Seokjin it's nice to meet you but you can go home now. As for you Prince Jungkook, you should probably leave too. I had a feeling you influenced her, and I was right." the queen reprimanded.

"Jungkook didn't influence me! I wanted to be a spy on my own. I just don't understand why you won't let me. Do you not love me mom?" you exclaimed. "Enough Y/N! Not another word from you, or you'll be spending your whole life in your tower. You're grounded for a year, and that's final. Guards, escort Princess Y/N to her tower and make sure she stays there for a year." you can't believe your mother right now, she had done this before when she first discovered what you were doing in the academy, and now she's doing it again. "Darling, don't you think you're being a little too harsh on our daughter? Locked for a year in her tower? Isn't that quite too much-" the king interrupted but the queen silenced him. "No I'm not being too harsh on her, you're too lenient on her that's why she keeps being a brat. She needs to learn how to listen to me, I'm her mother and the queen after all.

You lashed out on some of the guards on the way to your tower, you were just so upset you couldn't believe it had come to this. You could've escaped them easily, but you didn't want to be disowned by your family. So you decided to take your punishment.

You scrolled through your phone for the nth time today, and you were bored. Luckily, she at least let you had your phone. You wanted to see if you had new missions to do, but you felt conflicted too, because you can't disobey your mother this time. You were just planning to take a nap again when a strawberry hit you on the face. You looked at your window to find out where the strawberry came from, and you were in awe to see it was your bunny prince on a drone airplane. "Jungkook? How did you- why are you here?"

"To get you out, of course. Who else would help you other than me?" he cockily said. "You didn't even tell me you were coming. Anyway, thanks for wanting to take me out of here, but I can't. Even if I really want to escape, I can't anymore Jungkook." you refused. "You can't or you shouldn't? I know you're afraid of disappointing your mother again baby, but I think she'll understand. Besides, I think she was just angry at that moment. She probably wants to let you go back to your room now."

Your heart warmed at his pet name for you, but you still can't agree to go with him. "Exactly, Kook. Maybe she'll want to end my punishment sooner, but what if she finds out I disobeyed her again? She'll be furious, and I don't want my punishment to be extended." "Well what if she doesn't find out? I'm sure she can't see me when I'm this high on the ground. And I promise I'll bring you back home before they check on you. Come on princess, do you really wanna stay here alone in your tower, for a year?" he persuaded. "I don't… but ugh, I hate you Jeon Jungkook. Fine, just let me get my stuff." you caved in. How were you supposed to say no when a guy as annoyingly handsome as prince Jeon asked you?

You hopped on the airplane drone and went away with your handsome prince. You and Jungkook just flew around the land, it was awe inspiring to look at the villages and people from above. When he finally brought you home you felt a little glum that the day had to end. You were relieved that you weren't caught by the queen though. You were relieved to have Prince Jeon with you. You texted your instructor about your current situation and why you can't go on missions for a while. He told you he understood, he truly is the best instructor.

Jungkook came to see you again the next day. He didn't take you away this time, he just stayed with you and you two talked all day. Jungkook visited your tower everyday, and you couldn't help but fall for him each passing day too. One night, the two of you finally shared your first kiss and it felt amazing. He didn't come back the next day though, which made you feel worried that he didn't feel the same way. Unbeknownst to you, he was actually planning how to get you out of your current situation- while he couldn't stop thinking about your kiss too.

"Y/N, it's been 3 months since you've been locked here in your tower. I don't mind visiting you but, don't you miss going on missions with me? Don't lie, I know you do. We need to get you out of here." Jungkook declared. "Jungkook is that why you didn't come yesterday? 'Cause you were planning my escape from here?" you inquired still a little upset, he didn't come to see you yesterday. "Yes actually. Why? Did you think about something else?"

"No… I just thought- nevermind it doesn't matter." "Of course it matters princess, tell me what's on your mind." he asked you moving closer to touch your cheek fondly. "I thought you didn't like our kiss… And that you thought it was a mistake. Am i right?" you asked honestly.

"No you aren't baby. I loved our kiss, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'm sorry I made you think that way, I really was just busy pondering how to get you out of here. But I have a plan now, and that's why I'm here to ask you if you'll agree with it."

"You do? You have a plan? Why do I have a feeling it's gonna be chaotic… But fine- I wanna hear it anyway,"

"Run away with me."

Ballsacks, he's kidding right? Your Jungkook is kidding right?

💜

You made a decision that day that changed your life. You ran away with Jungkook and lived at his palace. You were finally free to go on missions without worrying about what your mother would say. Jungkook kept your existence at the palace a secret at first, putting you in a secret room no one else knows but him. But of course as all secrets do, all secrets will be revealed. His parents found out that you were now living with them, and they were shookt but thankfully they let you stay.

They advised you to tell your parents though, so your parents would stop worrying about you. You did tell your parents about your whereabouts, you missed them after all. But you also told them you couldn't live with them, if they can't accept you for being a spy. You only talked to your father, the king. As your mother didn't seem interested to talk to you. You hoped she'll accept you for who you are someday.

3 years passed and you've decided to return to the palace, your home. You're full of nerves as you're worried about how they'll react to you coming back, but also because you have an important thing to talk about to them. You had returned to inform and personally invite them to your wedding. Your relationship with Jungkook grew stronger over the years, and one lovely night he proposed to you, which you accepted of course. That's why you're now getting married and elated to be one with him.

You're with Jungkook as you faced your parents. They looked quite surprised to see your presence again after a few years. Your father smiled at you and he seemed happy to finally see you again. Your mother on the other hand, still looked indifferent as before. "My dearest princess, I'm so glad you came back." your father told you. "I'm happy to see you too, dad." you smiled at him. "Actually, I'm here- I mean we're here, because we wanted to tell you something very important. Jungkook and I are getting married."

They didn't seem surprised to hear that actually. You guessed they figured out why you came today. "We want to personally invite you to our wedding. It'd be great if you both were there." you added. "Of course we'll be there. It's a good thing we didn't have to push through with the arranged marriage we planned for you guys before. It's spectacular that you fell for each other naturally." the queen surprised you all when she replied. She didn't seem to mean it with malice but with all honesty.

"Wait- you were planning to make us have an arranged marriage?" you inquired, you weren't mad anymore just shocked that your parents had planned to wed you with Jungkook after all. "Yes. Well it was because Jungkook's parents are our friends, and your marriage would be great to strengthen our kingdom. We're sorry if the knowledge infuriates you now."

"It doesn't. I'm just surprised that's all. Anyway, mayhaps we're truly meant to be as I'm still marrying him now." you said quite fondly. "The preparations have started as the wedding is in 3 days, the stylists will come soon so please tell them if you need something. I already picked yours and dad's clothes, I hope you don't mind. Can I stay in my room for tonight? Jungkook can take the guest room." you asked. "Wait Y/N. I wanted to apologize for being a cruel mother to you." the queen's words stopped you. "I'm sorry for locking you in the tower which made you runaway from us."

"I'm sorry for not believing in you, I always knew you were a great spy- I just didn't wanna acknowledge it because I was scared of losing you. And I did anyway. I guess I'm just sorry for being a bad mom and for everything my dear. I hope someday you'll be able to forgive me." you could feel the queen's remorse through her words and facial expressions, and you realized there wasn't really anger anymore. You were just sad for the lost time. "Thanks mom, that's all I've ever wanted to hear. I just wanted you to be proud of me. And you aren't a bad mother, I understand now why you did those things. Though they're quite questionable, but I forgive you. I already did a long time ago." You hugged each other and were finally glad to be on good terms again.

👰

Your wedding day came, and everything went perfect. You wore the loveliest wedding dress, and Jungkook wore the fittest suit. You only invited your close friends and family, you actually just wanted a simple wedding. The selfish but now kind King Seokjin, came too. Along with your fellow agents, Fiona and Farquaad. They all watched as you two sealed your newly formed union with a short but sweet passionate kiss.

After the glorious event, you were now inside Jungkook's room fidgeting and anticipating- what to do for the remainder of the night. You had just finished taking a relaxing bath, and were now dressed in your nightgown. Were you finally gonna do it with him after abstaining for years? Thoughts ran through your mind while waiting for Jungkook. He had to go somewhere for a bit because of some emergency prince duties. He was even busier now, that they want him to take over as the new king. But surely he'll make time for you on your wedding night right?

You were getting sleepy waiting for him when after a while, the knob to his door slowly turned. And then came your prince- and husband, the person you've been waiting for. "I'm sorry I took so long baby, the council and the advisors were just so-" "It's okay Kook, just come here and lie with me," you called. You didn’t even realize the implications of your words until you said them, and you couldn't take them back. You blushed furiously at seeming so desperate.

"I will my love, I'm just gonna take a shower first, then I'll come join you in bed" he chirped. After Jungkook's long agonizing shower- (or it just seemed long to you, when he really didn't take that long) he finally joined you in bed. Though, you couldn't face him because you were so embarrassed of your daring words awhile ago, that you may or may not have meant. You pretended to be asleep, but of course Jungkook knows you too much to know you were just pretending. "I know you're awake baby, don't pretend to fall asleep on me now. Not when we haven't made love yet."

Jungkook's words made you a little wet, okay maybe a lot. How can he be so irresistible? You tried to take a peek at his face but failed miserably, as your attention went to his beautifully sculptured body. He was lying so close to you without any clothes on! You almost saw his dick if not for the sheets covering it. "Like what you see my love? I didn't put any clothes on yet, 'cause It would be stupid if I'm just gonna take them off in a bit. I've really been waiting for this night Y/N," he said, touching your back through your nightgown tracing your curves.

"I'm finally gonna claim you and make you mine, can I make love to you now my love?" Jungkook sincerely inquired, and you gave him your permission because you wanted him to. You wanted him to make you his and you wanted to make love with him too. And you showed how much you loved each other all through the night. You loved it when he treated you so delicately, and he wasn't in a rush. You loved it when he sucked your perky nipples until they were so sensitive and swollen. You loved it when he thrusted inside you while kissing you at the same time and holding your hand. You loved your partner in crime Jeon Jungkook, the most loyal agent and bunny in the world. Your prince and your husband. And you're pretty sure he loved you too.

And they loved happily ever after. Fin. 🧚🏻‍♀️

A/N: tysm for reading! If you enjoyed please reblog and leave a nice comment! 🥺💜

Btw! This is the pic dat's should've been on the insert pic but tumblr luvs to f- me raw in the ass, so it re-arranged it. I'm only on mobile so i can't do sht so im very sorry!

[peachpitmp3]

001 for spn <3

Favorite character:

dean. my love my gender my everything. literally the best character ever created i can and will fight ppl who disagree with me on that /j but seriously most ever. i just have so many thoughts and feelings etc etc

Least Favorite character:

john winchester id say he can rot in hell but he already is so that feels like improper grammar or something idk

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

FIVE ?? i barely know five characters,,, jesus christ okay well. destiel lmao. also im not entirely sure if there was an age difference that would make this yikes but. jo and bela... i could see it....... and yeah thats all i got sorry

Character I find most attractive:

come ON is this even a question dean winchester hello . im. literally just. sdklfhvxjklvhldj

Character I would marry:

nope

Character I would be best friends with:

god literally none of them lmao. not a single one of them stay around or alive long enough for me to do that.

a random thought:

cas would be really good at yodeling

An unpopular opinion:

i dont even know if ive watched enough to have one of these but uh. i guess. hmmm.. yeah i have no idea

My Canon OTP:

literally have yet to meet one but dreamweaver because ship by proxy!!! :D

My Non-canon OTP:

destiel lmfao

Most Badass Character:

bela bela bela bela bela [character butchery notwithstanding]

Most Epic Villain:

whoops i have yet to meet one. theyre all just annoying and like. mean and not in a fun way its like theyre trying too hard yk. red flag along w all the killing and stuff

Pairing I am not a fan of:

most ships in this fandom idk dude . oh. i really dont like the idea of sam and cas i just dont see it. bye

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

hello ?? everyone ????? at some point????? rn im particularly mad about bela tho

Favourite Friendship:

i dont know im tired uhhh. rn whats coming to mind is sam and cas but thats because ive been reading rly funny fics where theyre friends so yeah

Character I most identify with:

please. dean or cas who the hell knows. oh wait i do. dean.

Character I wish I could be:

none LMAO theyre disasters and im fine with having a boring life

[shattered-catalyst]

Intro to OCD for the RPC part 1/?

This is a balmy 6 page document on the VERY BASICS of OCD by a person who has had OCD for over 15 years and knows their shit.

If you want to write a character who has OCD this series is going to be a good starting point. If you dont know much about OCD I encourage you to read it so you can be an ally to those of us who have the disorder.

OCD is made into a cultural joke and when there isnt the ‘Obsessive Cat disorder’ bullshit its an angst off with other people and their non-ocd intrusive thoughts. Its different. Do your research and be an ally.

This will cover the very very basics. The next post will look into subtypes of OCD and how those are experienced.

 Whomst can write it? 

Literally anyone as long as you 

● Do so respectfully and not make a mockery of the disorder and the harm it causes in peoples lives 

● Dont make OCD the characters single thing or boil them down to it entirely ● Do respect the experiences and opinions of muns who have the disorder if they have concerns about your portrayal.

● Dont milk it for angst - unless you have OCD in which case release some of your angst.

● Dont try and say you know what intrusive thoughts are because they have *insert any other neuro a-typical thing here* 

● Dont police how Muns who have OCD choose to portray it. Its our experience not yours. I like to write out my characters OCD as I experience OCD so my experiences are different from other muns. OCD is very diverse in its effects but always ask if you arent sure.

. What isnt OCD? 

● Cleanliness or organization- OCD is NEVER an adjective. 

● Planning/ Hypervigilance/Organized/Methodical 

● Turning light switches on and off, unplugging things (find out more on later time)

 ● “I have to organize my pencils otherwise it bothers me” “ I have to make sure my mattress is straight” “ my nails have to be the same length” are all typical responses from people WHO DO NOT have OCD. 

● Making sure objects are lined up neatly 

● Having things go in a particular order like the letters CDO as the joke goes

● Really loving Cats, Corgis, or Christmas; if you own any of these items i urge you to reflect and also send me 10$ (jk but do reflect)

The Barest minimum 

Google OCD this will be an advanced version of OCD. This will be long but if you want to be aware of others or want to write the character you will read it. 

OCD is made of Obsessions. Triggers. Anxiety, Compulsions/Rituals.

1. Obsessions are the thoughts 

2. Triggers are the object/person/image/situation/smell ETC 

3. The Anxiety occurs is at uncomfortable levels to the point of panic or anxiety attacks

 4. Compulsions or Rituals are performed 

*There is a variant of OCD called Pure O. In this individuals have the obsessions triggers and anxiety but there is NO compulsion or ritual. This is still valid OCD. 

Obsessions are the precursors to the flawed unwanted and harmful intrusive thoughts: 

Im going to use you so you really understand this because its important.If you misunderstand this you are basically encouraging a mental health condition and dont get a sticker for reading this far. 

First check out this link as it has ALL the subtypes and examples. 

Obsessions can be hidden by the intrusive thought and teasing them out can be difficult to do if you have the disorder because well its a disorder okay thats why. It boils down to ‘i could harm someone’ ‘i could cause harm’ ‘ i may have accidentally harmed ___’ ‘ i may accidentally harm’ etc 

This is the flawed powerful belief that predate the Intrusive Thought. 

Intrusive thoughts appear in every brain on earth. They are not special or unusual however intrusive thoughts with OCD get stuck in the brain- meaning they stay there no matter what you do. So yes , they are different from intrusive thoughts in other conditions. 

The thing about OCD is that it latches on to what you hold dear; it may be you are a caring person and love children and animals- your OCD would give you intrusive violent or sexual thoughts or images. These are horrible to experience. They are not welcome nor appreciated and there is no benefit or positive side to having them. 

If say social justice is something you hold dear your ocd may take the form of intrusive thoughts of slurs, jokes, visuals etc. These are horrible to experience and lead to high levels of anxiety and are not positive nor beneficial to have in any way shape or form. 

Maybe you would not harm someone or you value others; your OCD may present as graphic intrusive images or thoughts around poisoning, stabbing,accidental..ly murdering (yeah you read that right), hitting, insulting etc someone else 

I must emphasize this because it is critical that people understand POCD: for the sake of those of us who have OCD read this until its burned into your brain. 

This is the fucked up awful Obsessive thought that you are/were/ or could be sexually attracted to children. This is NOT pedophilia. People kill themselves over this because they are afraid that these intrusive thoughts are true. People isolate themselves and dont have families out of fear of harming a child. People take work in different fields or avoid areas with children out of the absolute terror their obsessive thoughts could be true. This is NOT pedophilia. There is NO attraction present.

Most people who experience POCD intrusive thoughts would rather punch a sharknado than even THINK of hurting a kid in any way shape or form. That is why the OCD does its thing it is like having an abusive brain. 

Again for clarity's sake 

If you value social justice -> the intrusive thoughts violate social justice stuff 

If you value animals -> intrusive thoughts come up with harming animals 

If you care about the protection and safety of children -> POCD 

Triggers would be the situation, scenario, object, person,creature, context etc that is related to the Obsession. It can be literally anything. 

What follows is a hell of a lot of anxiety that can range anywhere from discomfort to full on panic attacks. 

Everyone has different intrusive thoughts and everyone experiences different amounts of distress upon being triggered. 

● As a side bar. Do not ever try and expose someone to their triggers or write about a character being exposed to their triggers as a way to help ‘cure them’ or ‘expose them’ to ANYTHING. What you are doing is literally taking someone with a mental illness and shoving them into a breakdown and thats a piece of shit move. Exposure therapy does exist and is done by professionals TRAINED in ERP. My parents did this a lot and I am positive I am not alone in that experience. 

Compulsions or Rituals: Now you may be saying ‘hey i know what those are’ yeah dude me too and I have had ocd for over 15 years and trained in mental health for 7 and guess what. They teach ya wrong. 

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. 

This can be as passive as ‘i am leaving the room’ ‘ i am checking my body sensations’ ‘ i am trying SO HARD TO HEAR MY HEARTBEAT’ .

 It can also be repeating the same thing over and over. To illustrate this I once mentally chanted the same song lyric line on a 3 hour plane ride because otherwise we were all going to die. I took one for the whole team.

It can be somatic things like counting your heart beats, focusing on your breathing, swallowing, staring and not blinking for so many seconds. 

It can be readjusting clothing until the seams fit. It can be checking god yes checking IK its a common trope but it IS a compulsion that has ruined my life and can be as passive as checking my reality or texting for proof my cat is still alive. It can also be checking yourself for assurance you wouldnt do the intrusive thought or that the intrusive thought isnt going to happen.

Compulsions are mentally painful and sometimes physically painful; 

● Washing your hands with scalding water for 5+ minutes can lead to horribly dry and cracking skin to down right BURNS.

● If you do the same movement you can mess up joints and ligaments. So if you pray constantly you may have knee issues from standing and kneeling.

● If your compulsion has you doing movement against an object ie say gripping and regripping something you get callouses. 

● If you compulsively exercise you may get trapped doing something above a healthy amount or say going from not working out to running a five minute mile and wiping out on a treadmill because your brain demanded it. Totally didnt do that... 

● If your compulsions make you rub against any object you can get friction burns and scars. 

To put this in perspective 15 years of compulsions have left my hands and finger joints a complete mess, damaged my arm tendons, friction scars on my arms that only now faded, and scars on my legs from doing too much of an activity. 

Its not lmao I gotta fix these pencils its real agony and real torture. 

In short compulsions and rituals are not fun they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 

OCD disrupts relationships with social components such as ; 

Obsessively checking in with partner/friend if things are ‘okay’ (this feels horrible to do too fyi like you KNOW things are fine but you cant NOT because the anxiety is SO BAD), 

Relationship OCD is a WHOLE category itself! this ties into sexuality OCD where your obsessive thoughts prey on your sexuality (regardless of your orientation), your relationship, cheating or being disloyal etc.

OCD causes significant withdrawal from others, fears of being a monster, intense guilt over intrusive thoughts, disgust with yourself over the intrusive thoughts sometimes leading to self punishment. 

OCD leads to strange behavior which more often than not leads to bullying and ostracization. To exemplify this I have an intrusive thought that I have stolen something when I am inside stores, my check-check-check-check-check-recheck! of my pockets gets me store security called so often its criminal.

OCD limits activities that may expose them to triggers or influenced by intrusive thoughts ie: not being able to take the train to work or only getting off at bus stops with even numbers.

OCD impacts where they spend time, who they associate with, what jobs they take or even if they have a family or not

OCD leads to overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and fear over having intrusive thoughts or images that they experience which causes them to socially isolate or have difficulty in social situations. 

OCD leads to Hyperfixation: like a lot of other things but thankfully it is just hyperfixation and not different from other diagnoses. 

OCD leads to rigidity or structured routines: I have listened to the same CD in my car for 5 years now. Every single day. 5 Years.And Im not okay with that. 

OCD impacts standards we hold ourselves to and others: its like regular perfectionism but like add on 5 extra layers of anxiety! 

OCD according to NIMH statistics 

1.2% Occurrence among US adults 

2.3% Lifetime Prevalence among US adults 

34.8% Of Adults who have OCD suffer moderate impairment to daily functioning 50.6% of Adults who have OCD suffer serious impairment to daily functioning

OCD has strong co-morbidity with the following:

Tourettes Syndrome- is a genetic friend of OCD and if you have tourettes or OCD your chances of having someone else in the family is high

ADHD

Autism 

GAD

Eating Disorders

Depression - this is a big one along with low self esteem because of the intrusive thoughts

Writers like to make jokes about characters “being OCD” well now they have clinical OCD and you should consider fleshing out your character with this information just as you would any other disorder.

Batman (DC)

Riddler (?)(DC)

Domino (Marvel)

 Cyclops (Marvel)

[miistymemorii]

How compatible are Pedro Pascal character’s and I?

No one, and I mean NO ONE asked for this. But here we are :) 

warning: literal proof of how lonely i am ahead

Javier Pena

- I think he would find me very annoying

I can’t, like, sit still??? so I do the “jiggling of leg thing” 24/7 and I feel like he would hate that

- but i feel like all we’d do is have *seggs* so i guess points for that

- also i am very clingy and I don’t see him as the type to want to cuddle 

- i am literally so annoying in public because i don’t know how to act and i’m sure i’d annoying him like if we ever went in public

- i love criminology and jobs that deal with crime so i’d be a nosy bitch and ask him wayyyy to many questions about his job

- rating: 4/10

Maxwell Lord

- istg

- not to be a simp on main, but i would be Max’s biggest suporter, like full hype girl

- ^^ i mean, not during the events of 1984, because that was some bs, but like before, when he’s a struggling man who just wants to be a good father

- i hate wearing dresses with a burning passion, but i’d wear a dress like everyday if it made him happy

- yes i do the cooking, yes i do the cleaning

- i feel lie Max needs a woman in his life, or at least someone to give him guidance. I’m the gal for the job.

- i feel like he would cry sometimes like in the middle of the night and i’d be there to comfort him

- but also he’d comfort me when i have panic attacks or depressive episodes

- like i know this man is soft when he’s not doing his “life is good but it could be better” persona

- my dad would hate him tho 0-0 so a loss of points there

- rating: 7/10

Ezra

- cheese and sprinkles okay

- this man

- i feel like we’d be good together

- in most fics Ezra is headcanonned as being very interested in the arts, so i can see us like going to museums and reading to each other

- idk why i just wanna hold his hand

- i feel like he’d let me be the big spoon which makes my heart go boom boom

- he is so fine istg imma cry

- also i feel like my dad would like him and that’s kinda important to me bwahwajdsd

- rating: 8/10

Mando

- okay, to me there are basically 2 tiers of Mando: before Grogu, after Grogu

- if i met him before Grogu, he would hate me. 

- i would ask him loads of questions about the ship and eventually he’d be like “this isn’t gonna work” and drop me off on a planet then leave bwahwahah

- it’d be very “it’s not me, it’s you” :,)

- but if i met him during/ after Grogu

- *sighs*

- i feel like he’d be more willing to a relationship because he kinda learns that not every person is a threat

- i think he’d let me touch his face in the dark, even if he has shows his face to other people, because he’s still wary

- but when he finally lets me see his face in the light, i swear to god i would just spend hours staring at his face

- he’s baby there’s not alot more i can say

-my dad would adore him because irl he LOVES the Mandalorian and my dad loves cowboys and Mando is the best space cowboy in the galaxy

- 7/10

Frankie “catfish” Morales

- okay ya’ll

- i’ve only ever dated, like, assholes so It’d be so nice to date someone who is a nice person

- i KNOW he’s treat me right

- I feel like I would be super intimidated by him, because I get super intimidated by nice people (trust issues gang gang), so I wouldn’t be like my annoying self

- like he’d bring out the shy in me

- but also this man would never judge me and that makes me :)

- i’m not the most outdoorsy person, but i feel like i’d love going camping or hiking with him

- hell i’d let this man take me fishing (though he’d have to teach me because idk how to fish)

- also i feel like we’d do domestic things like go grocery shopping together, dance together in our livingroom, and cook diner together

- rating: 9/10

Pero Tovar

- this mf

- sorry, that was aggressive

- this man

- he would hate me

- like he would HATE me

- i can’t quite place it, it’s more of an instinct that i have? first of all, i would die at like, age 8 if i was alive during the time the movie takes place

- but like i think he’d be like “this bitch” everytime i walked into a room

- i am an annoying mf and he seems like he has 0 patience for idiocracy.

- i have literally nothing else to say bwahaha... it just wouldn’t happen

- rating: 0/10

Agent Whiskey

- okay, im from texas, but the city im from is small and all the boys here have  southern accents, but they’re all so fucking annoying so for a long time i’ve been turned off by those accents

- but dear god when i watched this film for the first time i was like AOOGA

- if i dated him, i would literally ask him questions or make him like read to me just to hear his voice

- is voice kink a thing 0-0 

- i wouldn’t ask him super personal questions about his job, but i’ve always wondered the kind of missions the Statesmen (and Kingsmen) go on, so i’d ask him about that

- i feel like my family would be charmed by him, so points for that

- i am a shitty dancer and i feel like he’d want to teach me to properly slow dance or do that southern dance? (dosie do? my family rejects southern culture because we hate living here lmao)

- he looks like he can cook which makes me :)))))) because i’m not a good cook

- i feel like he’s super adventurous in bed and tbh i am... inexperienced so i think that would be 0-0 awkward at first

- rating: 8/10

Oberyn Martell

- as much as i love this man, i have been in a poly relationship before and it was a living hell, so his lil orgies would make me 0-0 uncomfy 0-0

- i feel like he’s super poetic sometimes, like he likes art and literature

- tbh i skipped through the entirety of GoT and only watched Pedro’s episodes, so i know nothing about that world or time period lmao

- i’m a jealous bitch sometimes so i KNOW i’d be jealous of Ellaria

- omfg the way he LOOKS at people, I’d be a meek bitch

- my dad would hate this mf istg i cannot really describe it he just would i know it

- my dad just kinda hates all politicians/royalty/rich people teehee

- he’s definitely a good kisser tho 0-0 

- i feel like behind closed doors he’s surprisingly soft? like he would just ant to cuddle sometimes and talk about anything and everything

- he’s also a charmer so i feel like he’d try to convince me that i’m beautiful and just be overall kind to me when i’m feeling insecure

-rating: 6/10

Marcus Moreno

- bye ya’ll im deceased

- he was literally in the film for like 5 mins total and yet i have *fallen in love*

- pedro in glasses makes me positively feral grr bark bark

- dashklfhsdlfj PLEASE don’t come for me but like... i feel like he’d be super into making out like for prolonged periods of time

- ANWAYS he seems like the closest in personality to Pedro? So like goofy, soft, BIG hands (jk they all have big hands and they all make me :))))))))))))

- he’d be really good at dates and want to do kinda silly stuff? like carnivals, movies, ice cream shop, the park, etc :)

- i think he would find out that i have a big phat crush on Lavagirl and would let me meet her I would simple cease to exist

- i would be so nervous to meet Missy because even though i love kids, i’m so awkward around them

- he seems like the type to give kisses in places other than my lips. Like he’d love to kiss my hands, my forehead and my cheek

- my stepmom would ADORE him

- also i feel like Marcus’ taste in music is very close to Pedro’s, and Pedro has *immaculate* taste, so my Dad would get on with Marcus because my dad lves music

9/10

[lesbiten]

🤪🔬🏳️‍🌈🎉🌹

VERY sorry i didnt answer this til now but now im in the warrior catted rant mood so. here goes!

i honestly think the authors have Seen that people are fine with them being lazy, and they've gotten WAY too used to it.

i think the greatest and most recent example of this was that throughout the Entirety of the book 'darkness within', thunderclan was spelled as Thunderclan for the ENTIRE BOOK. (its supposed to be ThunderClan)

like, one time is "oh the editors missed it, no big deal, it happens". but...the entire book? every single time it's mentioned? and it's not like it's only mentioned like, 2 or 3 times. i would absolutely put it up in the 20+ range. 20+ times they mistyped thunderclan and not a single person pointed it out. how does that even happen?

there's always been shit wrong with the books editing wise, like dead characters being listed as alive still, characters' descriptions being wrong (yes, including main characters, somehow), someone's name being messed up, a character being incorrectly called someone else's parent/sibling/kid/etc, the list goes on. minor mistakes that all come from the erins evidently not having a series bible.

and like, at first it's not annoying. but after reading over 100 of these books, each and every single one of them containing multiple mistakes, it REALLY feels like they aren't trying anymore, if they were ever trying at all :]

there is a character who has died, like, 3 times. there is a character who has powers for an entire book! and then proceeds to not have them in any other book, nor are they mentioned again. there is an entire field guide about how the clans came to be, which is then not followed at all by the ARC about how the clans came to be, rendering that entire book completely useless and misinformation.

the continuity errors in this series are. just. so frustrating to read when you've been a long time fan and you know this series better than the authors do. and i hate to sound, like, pretentious by saying that? but come ON. some of this shit is like, basic stuff. how hard is it to remember that mistystar and stonefur's dad is oakheart, not graystripe, when that's a HUGE plot point in your series? how hard is it to remember the way redtail and oakheart were killed, when that is a HUGE PLOT POINT IN YOUR SERIES!!!!!

it's like they just write shit, give it a once over to make sure its not that bad, and then publish it!!!! please try!! like at all!!!!!

i haven't read leopardstar's honor yet, which just came out a week or so ago, but i've heard that book is agregious when it comes to mistakes. apparently there's an entire set of chapters that were published out of order. there's a chapter where leopardstar makes featherpaw and stormpaw apprentices, which is then followed by a chapter where she talks to another character about their apprentice ceremony, which apparently Hasn't Happened Yet, But Will Soon! HOW THE HELL DOES THAT HAPPEN !!!!

not to mention in that same book, the allegiances were so fucked up when they first came out. (idk if it was fixed in the final copy) one character was listed twice. a second character was also listed twice, but once as a kit, once as a warrior. his mother was still in the nursery with him, but his father was also still an apprentice. ???? also a whole group of characters that weren't born during that time period were warriors. somehow. like. who edited this book I JUST WANT TO TALK!!!

anyways. i have like 5 more examples still in my head but this post is already Very Long and i dont think yall need more <3 i fucking hate it here please let me leave

[summoner-kentauris]

What does your interpretation of Zacharias think about Líf and Thrasir? (You can either just answer or write a lil story if you feel like it)

OOOO now i have thought in my free time a fair amount about what líf thinks of zasha but, and i cannot believe this, i have not thought about what zacharias thinks about líf and thrasir. full disclosure, book III happened to be going on when i formally stopped playing feh. i kept up with the story after that but, theres my obligatory knowledge base disclaimer.

also minor cws through this whole thing because i talk here and there about zacharias and his... mm, canonical relationship to death/selfharm

-

so, i spent a lot of time thinking about this one, and i keep coming back to my gut reaction, which is that i don't think zacharias would like them very much. i dont know why i think that, though.

PART ONE

i think a lot of it would depend on how they approach him, which is maybe why i've spent more time thinking about the reverse of this ask, come to think of it. see, i think zacharias could go any which way in terms of what he thinks of them. i think he could hate them, as two people who killed versions of everyone he ever loved, including metaphorically killing off the two people closest to him.

i think he could love him, having seen the hell (ha ha literally) that they went through. understanding what that feels like. given the way he talks about his suicide attempts, and honestly that he spent most of book I trying to get people to kill him, really his whole relationship to death. i mean the man talks a lot about death and killing. he might not be the feh OC who best understands how manipulative and... whats a good word. alluring? what im trying to say is that besides eir, he might be the one most likely to understand why Hel and hel's offer appealed to líf and thrasir. i feel like this bit has a place here: "With his dying breath...he begged for his life. He called out your names! "I'll do anything you ask! Just let me live!" excepting of course that i still am not sure if i think he said/thought that or not. ive never been sure who really is in control of speaking right then and there. Anyway. Probably he could come to understand Líf and Thrasir's stance, enough that he could care about them the same ways he cares about his versions of Alfonse ann Veronica

on the other hand, i can see him being fully horrified by the choices those two made in response. this bit: Not anyone... This dark god...seeks death. And it cries for the destruction of Askr. Like. Líf and Thrasir are intentionally enacting the same thing as the dark god's desires, in order to correct a mistake they made that, uh, also enacted the same thing as dark god's desires. talk about awkward. and i think Zasha, who has lived with this nightmare in his head for so long, might recoil from people who are so directly aligned with it. who wants to be around someone who has become, who has chosen to become, everything you ever feared you'd be? especially when you're nearly drowning from the effort of fighting to stop yourself.

i could also see him meeting them and it being incredibly, incredibly bad for him. i feel like, he puts a whole lot of... mm. what am i trying to say.here:

Yet it is you that says this, dear friend, and so I must consider it. I see the faith reflected in your eyes. Perhaps it is possible...

SPEAKING OF BUNNY ZACHARIAS I ALSO THINK YOU COULD TAKE THE FOLLOWING:

You never change. All you see is a lofty goal, even if you lack the means to achieve it... The idea that gods would fall by the hand of man is a fantasy... and a preposterous one. This is a goal that even our ancestors Líf and Thrasir could not achieve.

setting aside the obligatory wtf zash i know you know your lore (fuck, maybe there is no killing the gods, maybe all Fire Emblem victories are temporary at best and Zenith is the only one who knows it. but i think, probably not), i think you could spin a very believable scenario where zacharias takes one look at these two ambitious, arrogant posers and absolutely refuses to speak to them any further.

so, part one, i think that zacharias could think any number of things about líf and thrasir. which i suppose means that i think he's fairly neutral on the subject of líf and thrasir. makes sense to me, i suppose. i feel like zacharias | bruno has practice (regardless of whether he's any good at it or not, or whether its any good for him) at holding and maintaining separate personas, so I don't think the fact that líf and thrasir were alfonse and veronica would necessarily be all that important to him.

which brings me to part ii

what happened to dead zenith zacharias

if zacharias is neutral on the subject, I think a lot of their relationship is going to pushed in one direction or another by líf and thrasir themselves.

and, complicating matters (when do I make things simple?), i think their approach to zacharias would of course depend on what happened to their zacharias. correct me if im wrong, but i dont think we have even a hint what happened to him.

there are three ish options I'm seeing. one: as dead world zenith is further along in its timeline and as zacharias claims he's almost out of time with his curse, other zacharias died due to that before the war with hel. i feel like scenario one is the most likely to lead to a good relationship between main zacharias and líf and thrasir.

two: mr. professional "knows plot relevant things out of knowhere" was the one who found out about angrboða's heart in the first place. especially given "As destruction took hold, we joined with Embla to seek the forbidden heart...", which to me sounds a lot like, "hel was kicking our ass then zacharias showed up and said we should go get this mystical plot object from embla". thrasir even says she and líf weren't allies before the world went to shit. anyway. hear me out here:

Yes. The heart is sealed within an Emblian blood temple. If that seal is broken, someone will die each time the heart beats... Those who perform the rite are the first to die.

Now. Líf claims he was the one who broke it open, but he also was present for the war that followed and only after was he killed and inducted into hel's army. so. both of those things can't be true. i propose that the magic mcguffin located in a sealed emblian blood temple was unlocked by our dear zacharias and thats what killed him in other zenith. i think its possible that other veronica was the one who did it, but you know. its all imagination at this point. also, and i forgot this, but thrasir does go off about how she can't lose until she saves her brother, so. something especially tragic happened at least. and oh boy is scenario two a nice fresh tasty tragedy. so that's scenario two. other zacharias directly died as a result of attempts to fight hel

number three thing that could have happened to zach is boring. he's always off doing things, he could have just died off screen. i mean. everyone did, eventually.

frankly he could still be alive for all i know. the heart appears to take the lives of people in the world, not of the world, or else the summoner would have been fine. so, if zacharias was on one of his off world jaunts, he could conceivably be a-okay. well. as okay as someone who's whole world died. i don't think that's what happened, because thrasir is pretty clear about feeling that she failed him, but yknow.

líf and thrasir's reactions to the above

thrasir is i think the most straightforward. i can't really see her approaching main zacharias with anything but positive intent. even if she's only a little bit open, i think thrasir and zacharias will probably have a decently tolerable relationship. if zacharias can come back to a country that exiled him as a kid and let his mother die in a dungeon and then go on to not just befriend but protect and care for a half sister he didnt know before then, then i think he'll find a way to care about thrasir. you know, intsys could have had fun making another perpetual older brother character. as i understand it, xander gets brother'd a lot, he and zach could have talked. could have been fun. a whole, zacharias, a historically traumatized child: *arrives in a world* every currently traumatized kid in a five mile radius: oh shit this one's ours now. you know what im saying? found family except zacharias would very much like it to stop finding him. he's got important brooding to do. but anway, they didn't go that route and its a tragedy.

líf is... more complicated. i think scenario one creates the most positive outlook. i can see him still having guilt over zacharias' loss, but i think any of it would be overshadowed by everything else that happened. in this scenario, líf finally gets back a piece of the world he'd lost. yeah, it's not his zacharias, but still. it is a zacharias, who is living and breathing and frowning and asking why you are staring at me, knight. i think the two of them could get along rather well, although i see them having significant issues with pessimism. inch-restingly enough... the dark curse bades its hosts to kill askrans. and líf is, well. dead. so... perhaps... perhaps líf wouldn't trigger the curse like alfonse does. in that case, not only does líf get someone back he thought he'd never see again, but so does zacharias.

scenario two is just a nightmare. frankly, i initially thought this scenario would lead to líf just ignoring zacharias (out of guilt, pain, etc), but i was rereading the scripts looking for the spelling of angrboða and this came up:

Tell Hel. She'll erase those memories. She'll erase them all...

so, honestly? i think that in scenario two líf just straight up gets hel to remove his memories of zacharias (as an aside maybe this is also why he never ever ever talks about other anna >:{ )

in that case, líf wouldn't really have any reason to talk to this man, who causes this empty deeply sad feeling to well up in him for now discernible reason. and zacharias has no reason (or time) to talk to this standoffish general of the dead. so. that's a real ships in the night moment.

number three i think líf would still hold the same guilt as in number two, but i don't think it would be as horrifically tragic, so i think it's more likely he'd be willing to approach zacharias. he does appear to have even worse of a thing than alfonse about not opening oneself up to people, but i think that even if he's líf, he once was an alfonse, and being that this is me answering this, i don't think any alfonse can really keep away from a zacharias for very long. its a version of the person who once knew him as well as any other person in the world. like líf can't really seem to stop himself from associating with main sharena, i don't think he could stop himself from reaching out in his own way to main zacharias. and god does that man need some more friends. i think zacharias would probably be a little frightened of líf, and of what an alfonse could become. but i think probably... i feel like a lot of book i issues stem from the fact that, justified or not, zacharias thinks alfonse would risk anything, any harm to save him. i don't know that confronting an alfonse who literally risked everything and did all harm to save his world would be a comfort, but i do think zacharias would get a lot out of having someone who's already done the worst they can do. been there, done that, got the tshirt. i think zacharias would be a little afraid of what an alfonse could become, but i think he would no longer have to be afraid of... no, anxious about it. i think there's a kind of calm in having something confirmed that zacharias could appreciate. healthy? unhealthy? fuck if i know. i also think that in líf, zacharias has a friend who he can't physically hurt anymore. lífs already dead. been there done there got the.... glowing gel torso. i think, curse nonewithstanding, zacharias will always have some degree of tension and fear about hurting people he's in a relationship with, be that because of his issues with abandonment, of abandoning, of harm, etc. but you know. líf's kind of a rock. and he's already hit his rock bottom, now that i'm thinking about rocks. i think that kind of steady, placid deathness could really help zacharias. and i think he would find it soothing, whether or not he knew why.

plus he will be able to know that if the curse gets him, if he dies... he'll still have a friend in the realm of the dead. he doesnt have to be so afraid of leaving and getting left

so there we go! lots of musings. i have been thinkin about why my headcanons are less that and more elaborate branching theories, and i think it is because i would change my opinion depending on which story i wanted to tell or hear or see.so yeah. dunno which one of these answers belongs to the question, what does your interpretation of Zacharias think about Líf and Thrasir?, but hopefully at least one of them is interesting to read about!

OH also. i think he would be petty-ly annoyed about them cribing líf and thrasir's name. like full on scholar petty. probably showed up to the order in a nerdy huff excited to meet the actual factual líf and thrasir and turns out its just those two, sitting around glowing and reciting death metal lyrics like they're spoken word ballads. dont think he'd get over that ever.

[blookmallow]

and now, the thrilling conclusion, where EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT

never did find all these tapes or understand what they were about, either. gdi 

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK NO NO NO!! NO!!!

god this scene was so well done, though. almost too well. something about the old phone and the. “my friend is suddenly Not Okay what the fuck do i do” really, really struck a nerve with some shit i went through in high school 

i dont... understand what happened to his body, though. i think he did this because he knew they needed someone on the Other Side to be able to stop the cult. maybe he also just couldn’t take the pressure anymore as well. i think he realized someone had to and he decided it would be him. maybe he even knew something about what sal was going to have to do and maybe he didn’t want to be there when it happens. maybe he knew he wasn’t getting out of this alive anyway, so he decided he’d rather just do it himself and let his death mean something. i dont know. i dont know. this hit so fucking hard im honestly still a lil shaken up about it 

so i guess... whatever the cult was doing, whatever demonic influence is still ravaging this place, everyone was already doomed from the start. everyone was already infected with the curse or The Dark or whatever it is. everyone who died here couldn’t pass on because something went Wrong and was keeping them there 

and at this point i think everyone was essentially already dead before sal got to them. they would have been consumed either way 

i dont think i like the fact that sara is being taken by the dark, too. i dont know what that means. maybe it just means david believed she was a person enough for the dark to latch onto her and try to take her too. maybe it means something else 

i dont understand what happened to these two, either. they’re the only ones who were faded out like this instead of being consumed by the ooze. it didn’t seem to make any difference, though. i dont know why only maple knew to run or why she didn’t try to take them with her 

GOD FUCK

WAS HE LIKE THIS THE WHOLE TIME??? GOD 

FEAR 

WHAT??????? NO????? WHAT 

this is so bad this is so bad this is so bad you’re gonna make me do this aren’t you. you’re gonna make me do all of this 

im sorry man you were weird but as far as i can tell you didn’t deserve this

sara isn’t acknowledged. i still want to know why the dark was trying to take her too 

im sorry im sorry im so fucking sorry 

well. i guess that. explains the trial, then. boy this sure is a fucking lot to take in

anyway, im. ashley now and ive found maple. i guess this is how we’re dealing with this. fuck

i dont understand why the. they’re not kids anymore now but you know, the main group, isn’t being taken over, i dont think ash lived at the apartments so she could have escaped it but everyone else grew up there. you can’t say it’s not long enough to get infected because maple didn’t live there initially, she moved in with chug later and it still got her. im not sure that it got chug and his daughter. they weren’t in the shadow ooze. but they were faded out and they. were also. among the body count, so. clearly sal believed they were already too far gone

i think this is the first actually clean and well-kept bathroom we ever see in this game, id be happy for them, but, well. you know 

NEITHER WAS I 

b............beedle juice................

nice

i dont really understand why this style shifting thing is happening, different realities converging or something, i guess, but im into it 

“character shifts into other parallel versions of themselves in different styles/travels across different universes” sequences are always my favorite i dont know what you call that or if it counts as a trope but i love it 

GOD

DAMN IT 

none of us are surviving this, huh. like actually none of us.

I DIDNT KILL HER SHE KILLED HERSELF FOR SOME REASON THAT ONE WASNT MY FAULT 

but then she. wasn’t dead and had a new ghost arm that i think was also me. im her haunted arm now its fine we’re fine everything’s fine 

FUCKING SHIT HELL WHY 

i cant tell if im supposed to know these people or not i think that might be neil though........ probably maple. god. god 

for some reason i keep wanting to call maple “willow” where is that coming from

big fan of being able to just smack cultists into bloody puddles with our new ghost arm though that’s very nice 

YES THANK YOU I AM AWARE i had a bad time with the controls on half these little final boss mini game things fsjdg

anyway, uh. that sure was a lot of things and i still have no idea what happened at all. i am confused and terrified thats all i can say

i mean. like. this is an incredibly good game its very well written the characters are so real and engaging, the story hits you over and over again right in the fuckin guts, the passage of time and gradual development and change through different points of these peoples’ lives is done so well and its so interesting and unique but at the same time i do not understand a goddamn thing that just happened here 

also according to my very depressing episode stats i seem to have missed a shit ton of things, so maybe that’s why. genuinely think im probably just going to immediately start a new game and play it again now that i Know and. well, suffer again, mostly, but also just. try to understand try to figure out what i missed 

i think part of the problem is it took me way too long to realize there were occasionally things i could interact with that didn’t specifically. say i could interact with them, i got used to looking for like. the little marker subtitle things that pop up over important objects/etc like “radio” “sal’s room” but sometimes there’s like. a little thing on the ground you can pick up that doesn’t say anything when you stand over it or something and i guess? i must have? missed a lot of those 

[sn0tcl0wn]

"all you have to do is hold on until you're a legal adult" lmao dude im almost 25 and im still stuck with my parents. stop acting like everyone can just leave at 18 and that isn't a form of privilege. like what about those of us with no friends and no one outside of our families? we get left to the wayside by the ones who assume we can just leave whenever we want because no one ever bothers to help us. we're the ones that get lumped in with the immature parasites who want to stay home because we have no skills or abilities we can utilize and get out. please stop telling kids they can just leave at 18 as a blanket statement. many actually can't. most kids in abusive homes cannot just leave, specifically survivors of religious abuse. there is an entire population of people who got pulled out of school (if they ever went to begin with) and had their heads filled with lies, were indoctrinated, and raised to fit in specific boxes (in my case; traditional housewife) thus making it very difficult for us to do anything with ourselves when we do inevitably leave. we always end up back with our families and in the same or similar toxic situations even if it's not the cult like ones. and of course i say religious but literally any form of childhood abuse that results in complete isolation will make it much harder to leave than just heading off to college or moving out at 18.

do not hold on to the idea that you can just leave at 18. if you end up where im at you'll be drowning in self loathing and regrets because you couldn't do it. instead just stick to more vague affirmations like "i'll be out some day", "nothing is permanent", "a long time isn't forever", etc. giving yourself set dates and times to get out of a situation and putting numbers to shit does nothing but put unnecessary pressure on you. i ended up having all my hard work pushed back because the people i tried to escape sabotaged my entire life and left me for dead causing me to first go to my dad who just genuinely had no idea what to do with me and now my mother who's toxic as all hell and has no idea how badly i was abused causing her to respond to my symptoms and stuntedness with hostility or bitter annoyance. rushing to get out at 18 made me the family disappointment because i wasn't ready and my abusers still had too much control. but i was always told 18 was that golden age when you can just Leave. it isn't. especially not for anyone in the younger millennial/gen z range because the economy is trash. stop letting people in their late 30s and older tell you you can just leave at 18. they're from a different world and honestly? everyone who gets away from abuse and toxicity at 18/19 probably weren't isolated and had somewhere or someone to lean on to some degree.

if you're someone who has no one and you're in the 16 age range, do not bet on just two more years. hope and work for it but do not look at people who can do it and automatically think you're gonna be ready if you haven't even been allowed to go to school. the isolation is enough to make you unready for most situations and many times people like us go back because we need to. do not put yourself in a position where you need to go back. work so that you never need to go back at all ever again but be patient because 18 is in no way ready if you're an isolated person like me. and there are a lot more of us who slip thru the cracks every day than anyone knows or wants to admit.

stop making these blanket statements about just leaving at 18 if you weren't 13 or under in 2008 and especially in a discussion about toxic and abusive families because most of us can't afford it to begin with and many people in emotionally abusive situations are victims of some form of brainwashing or extreme, forced isolation that results in mental problems, stunted development and social skills, and will often have to go back by age 20 because they left too soon thanks to that advice.

and if you want a better solution then how about we as a fuckin society start cracking down on these families and stop putting the responsibility to not be hurt anymore on literal kids who just recently have legal rights as adults, eh? how about we don't just fuckin ignore it when a kid gets pulled outta school and falls off the face of the planet like so many oft do? take people in without making them feel like burdens. just don't let kids fuckin slip through the cracks man. my life never needed to be this way but no one gave a shit about me outside of my fucked up family until college where people still would not help me get out of that house officially and for good. no one would help me with anything period because i should have known that. it's the apathy and willful ignorance of others that truly causes us to be harmed to such extreme degrees. stop telling kids they can get out at 18 unless you personally intend on bringing them in if and when shit hits the fan or are willing to sit and explain basic adulting shit to someone in their 20s without being annoyed. if you can't or won't do those things then you can't go around telling 16 year olds they only have two more years because you're creating another generation of disenchanted and virtually homeless twenty-somethings. especially now. this isolation shit is gonna last like a year or two if the influenza comparisons are right. these kids wont be able to move out at 18 unless they're taken care of. period. use your fucking head and think about current reality instead of looking back 18 years and saying "well it worked for me". like honestly fuck you.

and to those who are stuck like me, i love you and we will be okay. this sucks so fucking much but we're still alive so we can make it to where we all wanna be in the end. it's never too late to do anything for yourself and it's never shameful to take your time or go back to your abusers when you have nowhere else to go. they made it like that on purpose and no matter how it feels it's not your fault. if you're like me and went back to less bad but still toxic family, you didn't make a mistake, you just tried taking a responsible route when being faced with homelessness and got screwed. this is not your fault and you will overcome and get out just like you got out of the last one. it's so easy to hate oneself like this especially seeing people so flippantly act like 18 is the golden age of stability and maturity where we can leave home and live as an adult. this isn't the 1950s, we don't live in that world anymore. if you're alive right now and you still have the urge to leave, then you're doing just fine and it won't ever be too late for you until you die or, worse, choose complacence. just work towards a better future and don't beat yourself up when that future isn't tomorrow or go putting time limits on milestones and escape plans. it helps no one but those who want to use it as ammo when you come back in need. and many of us often do. ain't no shame in it but the shame society and its constructs put on us. you're still a kid and you're gonna be okay even if you're not ready yet. it'll happen, trust me.

i just really felt the need to get this off my chest because i never want anyone else to cry every birthday past their 18th because they "should be on (their) own by now" and i am so sick of everyone putting that age on this weird pedestal. i also don't want anyone who was in a cult like situation to feel ashamed or helpless when that happens or when they have no choice but to go back. but mostly i want people to be more fucking mindful of what they say regarding things like moving out at 18, especially if they're over 30. we need to undo the harm the "leave at 18" mindset has done as well as make an active effort to actually stop or at least help people get away from abuse and make sure no one ends up like me. i have no reason to hate myself and yet, because everyone loves shoving it in my face how supposedly easy it is, i do. let's not do this to gen z kids, guys. like please do not do this to them. i want everyone right the fuck now to realize that they're all isolated very much like i was and the ones in bad situations will come out a lot like me.