#im actually really enjoying writing her

[aroaceleovaldez]

i would like to say my ideal PJO adaptation (if i was being physically forced against my will to have to pick a live action adaptation over an animated one for some reason) would be a combo like writing of the musical + casting of the show + visuals of the movies

BUT the show actually does have the playwright for the musical as one of the major writers for like three episodes and that did nothing for it. so...

[volfoss]

it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.

[expatesque]

Well ladies (gn), it might have been unexpected but funemployment isn't starting off too bad.

[qoldenskies]

FIRST DRAFT DEFEATED!!! its 54k words currently

[tumblingclockwork]

BESTIE can you tell me more about your lovely lady Jo I like her a lot....

IM SOOOOOO FUCKING GLAD YOU ASKED so she’s like technically an SCP OC tho we’re not suuuper connected to that universe it’s more of a vessel to tell our story but she’s this middle aged lesbian who is PAST her prime. She never had a prime. This is a cringe woman. She’s like on the millennial gen x cusp and it’s like painfully obvious. She is not a cool woman. She hasn’t even really talked to a girl other than her sister since high school. She’s got no friends. She works a minimum wage job and then goes home to her little house she took from her elderly mom after her mom got moved to 24/7 care (Jo doesn’t visit her btw)

And then one day she wakes up with a ton of weird symptoms. They persist for weeks. She goes to a doctor. They have her take a pregnancy test even though she tries to explain to them she can’t Possibly be pregnant. It comes back positive. She takes several more. She is super pregnant. She panics. She assumes the worst. She cannot fathom how this could have happened. More tests are done. She gets an ultrasound done. There’s no baby. Every pregnancy test comes back positive. She experiences every symptom of pregnancy. Her body is reacting as if there is a baby. But there’s just no baby. Her womb is empty.

For a really long time she tries to find an answer. Doctors don’t take her seriously. They assume she has an extreme case of Pseudocyesis. They blame it on her parental problems. She sees therapists. Nothing helps, and she continues to appear more and more pregnant until her body stops at around the 7th month mark.

Eventually she gives up and for Four Years she exists in a body that is 7 months pregnant until eventually her case gets brought to a doctor who has ties to the SCP foundation and they immediately clock her as something anomalous. The foundation gets involved.

The SCP foundation sends in Agent Ainsley ( @ericka-the-worm ‘s character, If you were wondering) to pick her up. He’s a high level agent in the foundation. He’s well trusted to do an easy job like this. Except Ainsely has just come back from forced leave after his spouse, another agent at the foundation, was killed by an SCP. He’s freshly traumatized and his grief has made him angry. The sound of a lamp crashing on the ground when he breaks into her home sends him into a full on PTSD induced panic attack which he believes was not just a sign that he wasn’t ready to come back to work, but instead a mental attack from Jo, who he believes is a far more dangerous SCP than she’s letting on and able to manipulate his mind.

The foundation believes Ainsley and puts Jo in maximum containment. She’s left unattended for days. The isolation drives her crazy. She has been abducted from her home with no explanation and now sits in a silent white room every second of the day. She tries her best to stay sane but it’s near impossible. She deals with constant hallucinations and delusions. That’s when a scientist is assigned to her case. Doctor Zephyr Salem ( @kennydennys )

Dr Salem is driven by only one thing: knowledge. They learn very quickly that Ainsley’s report of Jo wasn’t accurate. And they are very easily attached to Jo for how interesting she is, both as an SCP, and as a human woman who has been driven out of her mind.

Jo IMMEDIATELY attaches to Salem as the only person who she’s in contact with. Finally being able to talk to another person and have a connection to the outside world, she relies on them, and believes them completely when they say they want to help her with her condition and eventually free her from containment.

Jo feels that she’s already been saved by Salem, because she finally has someone to talk to after being in isolation for so long. But the SCP foundation is Salem’s place of work, and Salem has to clock out eventually. They can’t stay with her all the time, and she still spends most of her time completely alone. She continues to get worse. Salem tells Jo that things won’t be like this forever, and she’ll get to leave some day. But in reality Salem has no real intention of ever letting their most interesting case yet leave them.

[steelycunt]

an um. snippet. from me. for the first time since. july :-)

[youngpettyqueen]

42 “clumsy kiss” with WHATEVER ship strikes your fancy

omg letting me pick the pairing?? Ally youre too kind to me <333

a clumsy kiss, love a clumsy kiss... ive got Jadzia on the brain after reading Revenant, so here's a cute lil scene with her and Worf! I know you havent seen DS9 but I hope you enjoy anyways <3

Jadzia wants two things.

First, she wants another bloodwine. They've been going down so nicely tonight, and she lost count a while back of how many she's had, exactly, but she wants another one.

Second, she wants her husband.

She goes to find Worf first, because she'll need Worf in order to get the bloodwine. Quark, being entirely unfair, had cut her off, so she needs Worf to go get it for her.

She wants him for more than just getting her another drink, of course. It's been a couple hours since she last saw him, and she misses him. Which is entirely ridiculous, it's only been a couple hours, but this is a party- a Klingon party- and she'd like to be spending it with her husband.

Unfortunately, he's a bit difficult to find in this crowd.

QI'lop is one of her favourite Klingon holidays. It's always a good party, with plenty of good food, and lots and lots of good drink. Dax has had an iron gut for liquor through most of its lives, and Jadzia is no exception. She was right there alongside General Martok when he went to convince Sisko to allow a celebration to take place on the station, and she suspects her asking for it was what tipped Sisko's opinion in their favour.

The general invited a whole lot of people, who in turn invited others, and now the entire Promenade is swarming with Klingons. She's sure Odo and Starfleet Security are just having a blast trying to keep eyes everywhere. She'll make it up to them another time. For now, she's a bit busy swaying and stumbling through the Klingon crowd, which is great for a party, but not so good for trying to find her husband.

When she does find him, it's because she walks into him. Literally. She's looking around, high and low, anywhere but right in front of her, and she walks right smack into him.

Jadzia yelps, nearly falling back on her ass. Quick as a whip, Worf catches her by the waist, steadying her. She finds herself looking up into his eyes, and maybe it's that her blood is 60% alcohol at this point, but she could swear she falls in love with him all over again.

"Hi, handsome." She greets, grinning broadly.

"Jadzia," Worf acknowledges, a whole lot more composed than she is. He eases her up to her feet, though his hands don't leave her waist, "You are drunk." He observes.

Jadzia gasps in mock indignation, her hand flying to her chest. "Me? No," Worf just raises a brow at her, and she goes right back to grinning, "Ok, maybe a little. Just a little. And I'd like to be a little more drunk, so I need you," She puts a hand on his arm, "To go get me a bloodwine."

Worf doesn't move. "Is there a reason you can't get your own?" He asks, and he looks like he already knows the answer.

Damn him and his very thorough, and also kind of sexy observational skills. "Cause Quark is being mean and he won't let me have anymore." She tells him, oh-so-sad about it.

"I find it difficult to believe that the Ferengi would turn down a profit without sufficient reason," Worf continues, and Jadzia curses internally, "Did he cut you off?" He asks plainly.

Jadzia can still win here. She nods, and puts on her best pout as she does. "Can you believe his audacity?" She asks in turn, "Telling me when I've had enough? You have to talk to him, Worf. You can't let him get away with this, with... with cutting your wife off from bloodwine," She leans against him, looking up at him with her best puppy dog eyes, "My honour would never recover." She laments.

Worf looks thoroughly unmoved by her performance. "For once, the Ferengi and I are in agreement," He says, and Jadzia's mouth falls open, "I believe you have had enough, and that it is time for us to retire." He doesn't give her any warning for what he does next. He moves with, frankly, unfair speed, and suddenly Jadzia finds herself being swept off her feet and into his arms.

She yelps, throwing her arms around his neck in surprise. "Worf!" She squeaks, too drunk to be dignified. She clings tight to him as he starts to walk, and he cradles her against him like she weighs nothing at all.

"In your state, this is more efficient." Worf tells her, stepping over a Klingon who seems to be passed out drunk on the floor.

"But it's QI'lop," Jadzia pouts, "I love QI'lop."

"You will thank me in the morning." Worf replies, unsympathetically.

Jadzia harrumphs, but she doesn't put up a fight. There's a part of her, a teeny tiny, absolutely minuscule part of her that isn't drunk beyond reason, and that teeny tiny, absolutely minuscule part of her knows that he's right. She's very drunk, and Quark was probably right to cut her off, because she has the morning shift, and if she has anything more she's going to be both hungover and useless. She's been drunk enough times to know that if she stops now, she's only going to be hungover.

The thought makes her sulk. That's going to suck. Julian's going to have a field day with her.

Well, maybe not. He did vanish early from the party with Martok and Sirella, so he might be suffering from his own agonies tomorrow. She can only hope.

The rumble of Worf's baritone draws Jadzia out of that mental image, and she realizes that they're away from the party and on the turbolift. He must've asked for their level of the Habitat Ring. She didn't even realize they'd left the Promenade.

Now that the music isn't pounding and rattling her bones, she realizes that she can't actually feel her body all that much. She can feel Dax, protesting being taken out of the fun with Curzon's voice, but she can't feel her limbs. And, now that she's really thinking about it, her head feels like it's full of cotton. She can't think very clearly. Have the lights in this turbolift always been this bright? She squints, barely resisting the urge to curl up and hide her face in Worf's neck.

Ok. Maybe she did overdo it a bit.

The lift stops, and Worf steps out into the corridor, which is mercifully darker. Jadzia isn't the biggest fan of Cardassian architecture, but right now, she appreciates their lighting schemes. She relaxes as Worf carries her down the hall, all the way to their door, where he sets her down with the utmost care so that he can punch in the code to let them in.

Jadzia leans heavily against him, letting him lead her inside. His arm is strong and secure around her, keeping her held against his side. He's like a walking, talking pillar. She feels all warm and fuzzy, held against him like this, and it has nothing to do with the alcohol burning a hole in her gut.

She turns to him and stops him. Rests a hand on his chest, looks up at him to meet his eyes. He looks at her with a bit of curiosity, a bit of exasperation, and a whole lot of love. She smiles at that, her heart doing a little dance.

She really does love him.

"You're wonderful." Jadzia tells him.

Worf cocks a brow at her. "Is this your way of thanking me?" He asks.

"I'm too drunk to thank you how I want to thank you," She replies, and she chuckles when that comment makes his cheeks darken. He's still such a prude sometimes, it's very endearing, "But yes. Thank you. Thank you, for carrying me all the way home, and keeping me from making a bigger mess of myself," She raises her hands to his cheeks, holds his face, her world, in her palms, "I love you." She murmurs, achingly sincere.

Worf's expression softens. He reaches up, catches her wrists, holds her hands in place. "And I, you." He says, with that soft voice he only ever uses with her.

Jadzia beams, and draws him in for a kiss. Except her coordination isn't great, because she's still very drunk, so her kiss ends up at the corner of his mouth. She giggles, she can't help herself, and she tries again, and she sort of gets his top lip with the second attempt.

"Sorry," She snickers, holding him close, her nose against his, "I'm better at this when I'm sober."

Worf smiles at her, equal parts amused and fond. "I don't mind." He replies.

Jadzia kisses him again, and this time, it lands. And then, just to make up for the clumsy misses, she kisses him again. And again. And again, and again, and then he scoops her up into his arms again, and she keeps on kissing him as he carries her to their bed.

[fagoutboy]

the more ive sat and thought about it the more dissatisfied i am with that doctor who finale

[good-beanswrites]

Hello, I've been thinking about your actors au. Are you doing anything about Rei and Mikio being the only side characters with faces in the first trial? Because I do have a theory about that which I haven't posted but I always thought that was really interesting. Even Yamanaka pointed it out in the first anniversary stream.

Ah, I definitely want to!! Mikio is the man in Harrow, right? (There's also maybe-Rumerie in Bring it On who drives me crazy to this day asdfsd) I'm hoping once the project ends and we get the bigger picture, I can really highlight their relationships more. I'll touch on some of my ideas real quick, but I'd love to hear your theory if you ever end up posting it 👀

My problem is, I originally thought the faces show the prisoners' love towards them, and not necessarily mutual relationship -- which causes some hiccups with including them as characters in the au... (Including t2 faces), Haruka hungers for his mother's love, but given her abuse, they couldn't in good conscience have her on set with him. Rumerie may have been some sort of friend, but he didn't seem so close that he'd be okay seeing Fuuta again and being implicated in his crime. Muu cares very deeply for Rei, but even if the murders never occurred, I can't picture a young girl would feel safe filming her own death at the hands of her bully... I ran into a similar issue with Mahiru and Kazui's partners, but as adults I felt like it was easier and safer for them to consent to the situation.

However! The fact that Kotoko's victim has a clear face really interests me, because that's the only one that (seemingly) has no established relationship or love between them. What could Muu's realtionship with her classmate have in common with Kotoko's and the victim she hunted down from a distance? So I'd love to compare with your thoughts and reevaluate my theory as the new mvs come out...

[lottieurl]

that fatm collab is really weird to listen to cause it doesn't sound like a coherent song to my ears and i'm also like taylor quiet i wanna hear florence again lmao

[whiskeyswifty]

.

[mejomonster]

I finished final fantasy vii rebirth and. Some mixed opinions.

The main good points: as a Sequel to original FF7? Its good. The women are all written well (which was a concern considering Kairi and Lunafreya in past games), and everyone was in character just fleshed out more (with 2 slight exceptions). What the game did best was accomplish an open world game, world spanning adventure, stick fairly well to some main highlights from original ff7 (which is what people wanted for ages) and with new stuff thats fun if you like the world, very little wasting of player time (so much better than ff7 remake). It did open world well, pacing well, side quests and mini games well, characters well, combat well, and overall gave the feel of what square enix was maybe Hoping and Wishing to successfully accomplish in a mainline game for years but either hasnt been able to achieve on a technical level or fumbled in the past. (So no time wasting dungeons like ff7 remake, fleshed out open world with stuff you enjoy doing so more than ff15, open world so more than ff13, and combat that feels like things theyve learned and improved on well). How it feels to play? Great, fast paced, no dead time, all enjoyable game you came to play. (With the exception maybe of Cait Siths box mandatory mini game and the aerith in ancient temple magic platforms thing but they both werent too difficult to push through if you dont enjoy them).

The bad? Mostly... if you treat Rebirth as a SEQUEL to original ff7, these arent major issues. They just annoy me as a player of the original ff7 game. Because i know plenty of people will ONLY play ff7 Remake and Rebirth etc, and never know the original characterizations. So 2 characters were slightly unlike their original ff7 selves, and instead more like their Advent Children (and general non ff7 appearances) selves: aerith and sephiroth. Sephiroth's character being NOT like ff7 originals is more irritating personally. Because yeah... i get it. As a sequel to original ff7, this Remake/Rebirth Sephiroth might be from the future (so he is Advent Children esque version of himself), hes had time post losing his way to really get all mysterious and hyperfocus on cloud and be a looming vague pest. But the thing is... in the original ff7 the reason we learn hes used to be a SOLDIER war hero, is so the cast and you are confused why he kills Shinra people. Then you and the casy figure: well cloud remembers sephiroth finding out hes a monster cause of shinra, justifiable for sephiroth to hate shinra. Unflrtunately Sephiroth also decided to hate ALL HUMANS. Then you later find out maybe Jenovas controlling Sephiroth/one with him etc. But the key here is you find out at some point in original ff7 that sephiroths goal is mainly Destroy World because Hes not Human. Rebirth... does not clarify this very important and very BASIC point ever. Maybe it assumes its so basic that as a ff7 fan you should know.. but plenty of new players wont. Rebirth clarifies yes sephiroth may be Jenovas kid... but the whole MOM, im an ancient like Jenova! Oh Jenova isnt an ancient oh well fuck humans anyway! Either way fuck humans ill kill them all! None of those Very basic sephiroth motives are clarified much. I felt Rebirth did good explaining the Gi and the black materia. But to make Sephiroths motives so vague, why he wants to end the world SO VAGUE, why hes in clouds head (the black robes are everywhere but the game HINTS theure sephiroth clones but never actually spells it out eevn though its a BASIC KEY DETAIL). Now... because Rebirth is a sequel, it makes sense... if hes Advent Children Sephiroth he already knows he isnt an ancient, knows hes Jenovas kid, knows he wants to fuck with Cloud specifically now and the world generally but not necessarily so singlemindedly desperate to just kill all humans. So yes, Sephiroth is in character for his future self... but i feel like even with him less SINGLE MINDED and freshly with Jenova, clarifying some basics of his Original old timeline motives... would be helpful to new fans. So it annoyed me. I think the biggest Not Good writing decision in Rebirth was to never fucking clarify Sephiroths original basic goal: im not human like mom, hate humans, kill world. I suspect the writers either thought players KNEW so hinted instead of being on the nose (but to new players theyll just be CONFUSED), or they plan to explain those basic things in game 3. Which seems stupid to me and shouldve been explained earlier.

And Aerith. As a sequel? She remembered the other timeline which explained some moments she was calmer than original ff7. She forgot, then toward the end of Rebirth she seems to have remembered the other timeline again and that she needs to die and X happens etc. So her being calmer based on the plot they wrote for Rebirth? Makes sense. However... i deeply miss her Original FF7 personality where as an Ancient she freaks out a bit LIKE sephiroth, paralleling him, that shes not human, a freak, that it all rests on her as only one ancient left. Their overwhelm parallels each other. Aerith is more scared in original ff7 of being the only ancient, of what it means, of finding out more. That fear is slightly there in Rebirth but WAY LESS. its only a little in cosmo canyon and almost gone in the Ancient Temple. In ff7 expanded universe theyve changed her character over time to a calmer wiser goddess type like in Advent Children, and so yes in Rebirth when she remembers the alrernate timeline it makes sense she'd be calmer like her future self. However... i miss original ff7 aerith. I miss her initial shock, loneliness, fear of the weight on her shoulders, not being sure what to do. Her and Sephiroth, because of Rebirth writing them to know more, act more like their future selves and so. While it is in character and logical to the Rebirth plot. Its also sad to me that anyone who only plays Remake and Rebirth simply wont see what they were like WHEN these revelations were brand new shocks to them, forcing them to react and grow and fear. I dont think Aerith is written bad, i just think because this game is in reality is a Sequel im just personally mourning that it didnt have that as much of the original Aerith's personality who was afraid and discovering. Mostly her Rebirth personality is similar to original ff7s. But in some high tension moments shes way calmer and wiser than in the original. I miss getting to see some of that before to after character growth.

Oh and. The aerith dies scene. Does it make sense in context of Rebirth written as a sequel? Sure. Is it impactful? Not as much as the original. In Rebirth, theres a scene where Cloud is losing control and listening to Sephiroth and attacks Tifa, causing Tifa to fall into mako. That scene is high stakes and emotional and lands WELL. Later in Rebirth, when Aerith actually dies, Cloud has not lost control and isnt the one who killed her. Its fine, as a sequel to ff7 i get the choice to make him able to stop himself from hurting her. But it does make the scene less impactful: now cloud will NOT be blaming himself for her death, will not be struggling with the guilt and fear, and will not be as terrified of losing control again. Since he wasnt the one who attacked her. And since he saw her ghost/something post death, hes not even sad or grieving her. He thinks shes fine. These 2 things will result in a WILDLY DIFFERENT cloud moving forward than the original ff7 one who very much was distraught and horrified he did that. So like... as a sequel its fine these changes were made. But death wise... i wouldve prefered like, cloud drops her from up high qhile struggling with whispers, or doesnt get to her in time and sephiroth stabs her when shes too far away. The way Rebirth did it, cloud was near her, she gets stabbed anyway. It seemed to me almost like the writing was trying to vaguely or softly kill her, like somehow making it vague would make it hurt less. Yeah it did hurt less... but id rather if a character i love dies that its a Worthy Scene for them to die in. A strong meaningful scene that makes me cry, that felt like the loss it is. The Rebirth scene... couldve done its plot as intended and just make Cloud farther away or something and it wouldve been better to me. Maybe the writing point was Cloud thinks its fine, and its still not, and he cant even feel distaught because he cant tell if she died or if things are fine? Thats the only angle i can see where maybe the death scene did what the writers wanted? Anyway. Aeriths moms death made me sob, Aeriths death did not. It is what it is. I feel like Tifa, crying in my heart off screen, the game acting like Cloud like its fine and it looks fine to him but im confused like Tifa aa to why hes (the game) treating it that way. Lol.

Overall? Um 4/5. 8/10? Really solid square enix game, Amazing as far as final fantasy 7 SEQUELS go. It has one main weak spot in treating Sephiroth fully mysterious when a few clarifying details could help the game stand on its own Better (and make Sephiroth a stronger enemy character instead of a vaguer one). The other weak spots are more my personal preference and mourning the parts of ff7 original i miss and had wished were in this, but as this is a Sequel in a parallel timeline i dont feel the parts effect Rebirth on its own merit. It IS the best Square Enix game ive played in ages, at least since Final Fantasy X or XII. I thought it was better than FF13, FF15, definitely better than ff7 remake (i hate time wasting dungeons and bad pacing its a dealbreaker), and than kh3 (although kh3 was quite good for a kh sequel). I get to play FF16 next, which will hopefully be as good as Rebirth or better! Since its also on the PS5 and clearly from Rebirth, the square enix main team can do excellent combat, open world, level design, mini games, side quests, and good pacing now. So i'll just have to see if ff16's story is better. And i am guessing it hopefully will be, since Rebirth as an ff7 sequel has some weirdness to its plot quite typical of ff7 extended universe stories like Crisis Core and Dirge of Cerberus. Whereas ff16 is a brand new plot, so they have nothing preventing them from a tight excellent written story except themselves. I am curious how BIG ff16s world will be though. Because ff7 Rebirths world was MASSIVE and very full of stuff, tons of mini games, cool stuff to find or do or little character side quests. If ff16 also takes me 60 hours to beat the main story its gonna be thw longest final fantasy main title ive ever played.

Rebirth is very replayable if you enjoyed it. I will probably replay ff7 original soon.

[kylo-skywalkerr]

Confession time im not really into Anidala. Yes, I like the angst! The love that made vader the cruel and broken man that he became! That's cool and all.

But idk I didn't really like the characterization of Padme in the prequels. She could hold her own a bit, but the writing was so. ??? She didn't give that much of a shit about Anakin slaughtering an entire race, including their women and children who didn't do anything wrong and was like. "Anakin wtf :( How are you evil? Why would you kill those younglings?? This isn't like you!" Girl, he did that a few years ago to the sand people! You just didn't view them as "human" enough to see it as a red flag! At that point, you deserve to die from something as stupid as being very sad! Bitch it wasnt even just the flag that was red, the whole house was, and that red was the blood of the innocents that Anakin had previously spilled pre-vader 😭 You knew about most of this!

And yes. You can die from a broken heart, but it isn't... like that. She could have died from intense stress instead and had a heart attack or something, but they gave her the weakest reason to die. A broken heart. Tbh, it would have been cooler if it actually was the injuries from Anakin that killed her. It would at least be less... victorian era woman cliché where women can't handle intense emotions without fainting or dying. Obi wan didn't die from sadness. Ahsoka didn't either. They all loved him far more than they should have, and platonic love absolutely does measure up with romantic love. They painted padme as strong and then threw it all away to give Vader a reason to be Vader.

Disclaimer, I think Padme's an okay character, just a bit bland and inconsistently written. I'm also biased since I'm not huge on the prequels, but I dont mind them either. It's more of an "eh" compared to my love of the OT and spiteful love of the ST. They tried to make Anidala a romeo and juliet tragedy, but it reads more like Musk and Grime's whole "This isn't your heart." stuff.

[kurthorton-moving]

remember when i tried to say the attempted call out on billie was stupid and so anons started trying to call me out for things but all they could come up with was. that i enjoyed 13rw

[cetoddle-archive]

therapy was interesting she kinda just out of nowhere asks if i like writing and i was hesitantly like….yes……and she got all excited she was like you should really pursue that. i think that’d be great for you. and i was like thank you but why are you saying this. i don’t remember exactly what she said cause i think i blacked out a little but basically said im very well spoken and deliberate with my word choice and she said she’d have been very surprised if i said i don’t write at all

[etoilebinaire]

I've been meaning to ask for your thoughts about Rasha and Alistair but I somehow wrote it down as "Rasha and Zevran" and now I'm curious your thoughts about both variants. at first glance, Rasha/Zevran are a clear nOTP since Rasha is so paranoid and Zevran could very well be an assassin sent after her a la DA:O scenario... but would they be so incompatible? if Rasha knew that Zevran is an assassin from the start, wouldn't there be something... comforting in that knowledge?

You mean the Rasha that ended up with the Iron “nice to meet you im a qunari spy btw” Bull?

(this is the perfect ask thank you so much, a lot of rambling under the cut!)

Just kidding Rasha and Bull were outright hostile towards each other until they were convinced the other wouldn’t kill them on sight anymore and even then they wouldn’t be friendly until months later and they wouldn’t even start to trust the other a little bit until after a big yelling match after the entire demands of the qun nightmare. They got themselves caught in an enemies to colleagues to friends to lovers pipeline, even if the start was a bit one-sided. And I think it would be very similar for Zevran and Rasha. How to put these thoughts on paper. Zevran and Bull are essentially the same person. Listen. They are. The only real differences is different spy training (crows vs. ben hassrath) and that Zevran is younger. I’ll try to describe Rasha’s thought processes a bit because it’s important to get an understanding, but please know that I don’t think they’re healthy etc it’s just that Rasha is not dealing with things well </3. Ok so, three points about Rasha that need to be mentioned: First of all. Saying you’re an assassin/spy/whatever does NOT help. It only means that if you’re upfront about that you’re hiding something much worse. Rasha will find out if you’re an assassin/spy/whatever either way, you don’t have to tell her, you don’t get brownie points for telling her, she will not trust you more, she would have found out either way. She sees through that attempt at gaining her trust immediately. Second of all. Rasha is probably too morally and dutifully bound to kill or send away help if it offers itself. Would she kill Zevran if he was unconscious at her feet after a failed assassination attempt? Only if she didn’t allow herself a chance to think about it. Would she recruit someone from an order trained to assassinate people in her position if she knew that person would be an asset for the inquisition? Yes, if she was confident she could keep an eye on them, even if she would sleep worse for it. If anything, Rasha hates bad resource allocation and management and the inquisition needs all the help it can get. (also.. divine intervention because I as a player would never send a character away) Third of all. Rasha has incurable “I can fix them” disease. She’s an ass and it will take her forever to get over herself and not be mean to someone she doesn’t trust, but once she does.. She applies all the therapy that she doesn’t get to other people god bles. It’s all Shokrakars fault anyway. SHE was the one who got the ragtag group of tal-vashoth together (the Valo-Kas, Rasha’s old mercenary group from before she got dragged along in the inquisition, Rasha didn’t exactly join that group voluntarily but she somehow got stuck there) and THEY all needed therapy and Rasha was somehow the one person most equipped to deliver said therapy. Something about deflecting and being an outsider but still having somewhat of an understanding because of her parents also being tal-vashoth. You don’t need to trust people to still want to help them.

So all of that combined. With Zevran. Spoilers: I do think they make a great match but how it would happen truly depends on how and when and in what context they meet. - If they just happen to be near each other but not interact, Rasha would probably sniff him out as someone who’s a bit too keen on their surroundings, assume he’s an assassin sent to kill her and destroy the inquisition, and leave. This is her thought process with most strangers.   - Do they meet à la DAO after a failed assassination attempt and Rasha was a target? Zevran is dead, she would cut his throat, end of that. UNLESS her brain caught up with her instincts and she thought about it for a second. Then she would interrogate him, find that he’s very willing to give up whoever hired him, be annoyed at his flirtation attempts, and then accept his request to let him live and join their group. She’d absolutely 24/7 keep an eye on him and not eat food that was in his vicinity and have a constant guard on him and generally be awful. It wouldn’t be fun for any of them, but at least Rasha would have a focus for her paranoia, Zev would live, and their group would have another person to fight alongside them. Resource allocation. Zevran is pretty honest about most of his experience as a crow, and one would think there’s some comfort in that for Rasha. However, him being honest could also be a lie and then it’d just be a manipulation technique to get closer to her and let her get her guard down and she will not fall for that!!!! So her paranoia would get in the way there. The real comforting thing about Zev is that his go-to technique does not work on Rasha. She isn’t moved by flirtation and it’s pretty clear that that’s Zevs usual manipulation/deflection/distraction. I don’t think Rasha would lower her guard around him for a second.

Eventually, I do think they’d exchange assassin techniques and Rasha would be intrigued (and disgusted) by how the crows work. They would bond over being dual wielding bisexual assassins who deeply regret some of their kills. Remember, nr. 3, Rasha does have incurable “I can fix them” disease and she’s all for leaving oppressive regimes so she would absolutely encourage Zevran to leave the crows. It wouldn’t be until she can smell Taliesens blood that she actually entertains the thought of trusting Zevran, but you know, small steps. (I’m assuming, btw, that Zev wouldn’t try to assassinate Rasha unless he was still with the crows no matter the timeline here. This isn’t necessarily DAO with Rasha as warden but what a thought that is. Sten would still be in that cage. Rasha and Shale would be unstoppable together. Rasha would be like “we don’t have time for this there’s a blight to stop” every other mission while still trying to help everyone.) All Rasha’s friends are people who left the qun and are dealing with trauma from that so Zevran would fit right in. Again, they would bond over regretting past kills and I think in convincing Zev that he will have to live with that, Rasha would convince herself that she can live with it as well. Rasha’s true personality really shines through when she tries to help people, and it becomes apparent that she’s actually a kind person. I think that if you look at the bigger picture and her decisions, it already is apparent she’s quite compassionate but she surely doesn’t see it that way and on a small scale she’s usually not very nice, which is what people typically see. Anyway, I think Zevran is a good judge of character and would probably see through that all pretty quickly. Rasha wouldn’t trust him until after him leaving the crows, and even then it’d take some time, but I think they would get along very well after that. As I said, bisexual dual wielding assassins with a past they’re trying to not be traumatized from. Rasha still wouldn’t respond to flirtation because that’s just not her thing. But it very much is Zevrans thing and once Rasha realizes he’s maybe serious and he maybe IS offering she’d be like aight . And then she’d fall like a fucking avalanche. Listen. It takes her a LONG time to warm up to people, like a LONG time, but then it’s down in the deep and there’s no return. It’s like a switch in her brain and it is melted to the metal frame once it flips over. And then eventually Zevran would realize he caught feelings and freak out about it, around the same time Rasha would realize she caught feelings and freak out about it, and maker help the people around them. Zevran’s coping mechanism with being scared is becoming distant but Rasha straight up gets angry when she’s scared. Eventually she would see that Zevran’s scared, realize that she’s scared, and then be like “wait if YOURE scared and IM scared then who’s driving the bus”. She’d sit them both down and be like “there’s no use in us being scared of each other like this we should either be scared together or not be scared at all” and she’d be SO pragmatic about it that it would probably break any potential objection Zevran could think of and then they’d get together.

And they would be amazing together. They would be so annoying. They would call their weapons sexy all the time and do lockpick challenges that Rasha always wins and be SO loud and then deny all plausibility in the morning with a straight face. Rasha would suffer through Antivan poetry if Zevran suffers through Rasha’s spells where she overanalyses the seating arrangements in bars and accuses 5 seemingly random patrons of being shady (she’s right about 4 of them). They have at least 10 knives between the both of them at all times. They would be absolute menaces to their friends with PDA cause Zevran thinks that’s hilarious and Rasha would go along with it to see him smile. Also, Rasha would absolutely love destroying the crows from inside out and she’d excel at it too. No way she’s leaving that all to Zev. Rasha would do well in Antiva. Zevran would not do well in the Frostbacks. Rasha would obviously still get bouts of paranoia about everything including herself and Zevran and their relationship and I don’t think Zevran would know how to handle that and he’d just laugh it off, but if Rasha has any semblance of a support network she’d be fine eventually. Otherwise, they would work extremely well together.

- Do they meet during DAI where Zevran is an ex-crow and wants to help the inquisition? Then he’d be like any other companion and Rasha would be on his ass all the time and distrust him and take a long time to warm up to him (see point 1, Zev saying he’s an (ex) assassin doesn’t help). I think she’d test him a lot, see if he actually does just want to help without any agenda, see if she could sneak up on him without him noticing, see just how observant he is, see how much she could poke before she gets met with the sharp end of a knife. Again, flirting doesn’t work on Rasha so there go 80% of Zevs manipulation/deflection techniques. And again, they’ll eventually bond over being dual wielding bisexual assassins who are trying very hard to not let their past define them. Considering everything, Zevran is pretty well-adjusted so he would “pass” most of Rasha’s inane tests, then they’d hesitantly become friends and eventually they could grow close just like in the scenario above. TLDR: Rasha and Zevran are an OTP disguised as a NOTP just like Rasha and Bull. Rasha would be extremely standoffish to Zevran until he ‘proves’ himself in her eyes and she feels she can trust him somewhat, and then she’d immediately fall in love. Rasha is actually very compatible with the very people she mistrusts the most. -----

That was most of it I promise. Rasha and Alistair is a lot shorter. They definitely wouldn’t match as well as Rasha and Zev. - In a DAI scenario, where Alistair is either king or warden, I don’t think they’d really talk a lot. Rasha would be impressed with his achievements during the blight/his reign as king, but that’s about it. In most scenarios I don’t think they’d catch each others eye either. - In a DAO-ish scenario, where they’re forced to work together and Alistair is around that point in his life.. Rasha would be somewhat empathetic to Alistair struggling with his family, and him missing Duncan, and him not wanting to be king etc. I don’t think Alistair would trigger her paranoia in any significant way. I mean, look at him. He’s kind and overly genuine and even if he does turn out to be dangerous, Rasha could easily kill him before he would even realize what is going on. I don’t think Rasha would be drawn to him aside from her “I can fix them” disease where she’ll try to make him deal with his family/Duncan situation better. They don’t really share a sense of humor and she’d think he was a coward rather than endearing (I am so sorry Alistair I hate to say it). I also genuinely don’t know if Alistair would like Rasha. If they had to work together Rasha would try to be nice. But Rasha can be a little scary with how easily she kills and how violent she is. Plus if he ever stops to think, he’d realize she never shares anything about her own family or past, which is kinda weird? And then he’d ask and then she’d make sure he never asks again by subtly but firmly threatening him. HOWEVER. Alistair has that great thing where he does fall for anyone being kinda nice to him. At least in case of the warden (it’s always a surprise for me when I accidentally trigger his romance please send help). So potentially he could develop a crush on Rasha? Now that wouldn’t go over well. She wouldn’t reciprocate, mostly cause Alistair is just not her type, but also because she wouldn’t believe his affection to be genuine. This is where her paranoia would play up again. Rasha would absolutely think she manipulated him into liking her (she didn’t) and overcompensate by showing him how much of a bad person she is (she isn’t). Like the rose scene in DAO. If he would’ve given a rose to Rasha with a spiel about beauty in darkness and how nobody is grateful enough for all her work she’d question his sanity. THEN she’d be like ‘oh no I manipulated this poor chantry boy into thinking I’m a love interest’, then she’d show him why she isn’t a love interest. Thing #4 about Rasha I realized while typing this: she genuinely believes she’s a bad person (even though all her actions tell differently, it’s her paranoia) and knows that she’s capable of manipulating people, and I think she’d be really scared of manipulating her friends and allies? Which is why she generally prefers to be friends with headstrong people who aren’t that susceptible to manipulation. Which is also why while her paranoia gets triggered around spies, she actually gets along with them very well because they have inside knowledge of manipulation so they have a one-up on her. Like, she might not trust them but she might trust herself more around them, if that makes sense. It probably doesn’t, Rasha’s way of thinking isn’t sensible anyway and I’m bad at explaining it. Anyway, I’m not saying Alistair has a malleable mind, but Rasha sure would think he does, and that would be enough to make her kind of steer clear of him.