#(and this is coming from someone who is really fucking tired of red flag male leads in otome/isekai stories)

[shidoukanae]

I also have so many thoughts on Paris/Helene in the light novel based on this newest chapter ngl

on one hand im nervously laughing because holy shit Paris is NOT okay

but also on the other hand im giddy as fuck because the light novel is redeeming itself with this one chapter alone and now all my fears of this ship being handled badly got thrown out the window HELL YEAH

[teearrs]

USED FOR ANOTHER ONES LOVE

HELLOOO?! UHM...this is my first ever post on Tumblr. So yeah—I've never posted on Tumblr LIKE EVER!!! I do only post on wattpad but that's abt it :/. ANYWAYS this is draken angst lol ..ANYWAYS PLS REBLOG OR INTERACT WITH MY FIRST POST IN ANYWAY

WARNINGS: ANGST TO FLUFF??, DRAKEN BEING A DUMBO AND CHEATING ON Y/N, FEM PROUNOUNS, NOT PROOFREAD

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You and Draken had been dating for only 1 year and you had saw some weird red flags from him in the last months.

He hadn't been hanging out with you the last two months, he was always with Mikey, Mitsuya, Takemichi, or Pah-chin.

The only time you really saw him was when he came home after work. You would always stay up late at night just to welcome him home and cling on him, but he would just say 'not right now Y/n, I'm to tired. Sorry' but was he really sorry?

If he was sorry, he would at least sleep in the same bed at you....right? Well no, he would tell you to go sleep in the bed and he'd be right up—but he always ended up sleeping on the couch.

This happened for weeks— until one day you were walking in Shibuya, and saw it. You saw Draken kissing Emma. He was so happy looking. Hugging her from the side as she smiled at him, holding his hand as they walked through the people who crowded the streets of Shibuya.

Oh, so this is why he wasn't loving, caring, and sweet to you anymore. All the emotions he once shared with you, he was now sharing with her.

You had ran as fast as you could through crowds of people, you ran home. When you got home, you grabbed your bag and shoved your clothes, stuffed animals, braclets, rings, everything except the gifts Draken had gave to you.

You left those, no reason to have gifts from someone who never even loved you probably.

You had left now, Drakens house, and called a taxi.

When the taxi arrived you told them to drive you to your friends house that was sorta far away. Only on the other side of Shibuya, not far, but still far away from Draken.Arriving at your friends house, you had gotten out of the car and handed the taxi driver money before walking up to the door of the house and knocking.

The door opened very shortly after you knocked, your friend looked straight at your figure. "Y/n? Y/N!?" They said in shock of you showing up, since you two barley talk anymore. "Baji— I hate him—oh gosh—no I don't. I love him so much but he doesn't share the same feelings." You said to your bestfriend since birth.

Tears were falling so fast from you eyes, Baji was shocked that someone could cry so hard.

"What-? Come inside Y/n, tell me everything."Baji said and moved out of the way so you could come in.

You stepped inside, Baji shutted the door then put his hand on your back and leaded you to the couch. You sat down and started to burst into tears.

"What happened Y/n, why is a pretty girl like you crying so much?" Baji said making you smile a bit. You looked straight at him in the eyes and wiped your tears from you cheeks.

"He cheated on me" Those 4 words made Bajis face go in disgust, knowing damn well you were talking about Draken.

"With who?" He said. "A girl, a friend, a male, a coworker?"

"Emma"

"Just as I thought, I knew he was using you. He's a bastard he's so fucking lucky Mikey likes him or I'd have his head on a stick by now. I won't kill him but I sure will beat his ass" baji said making you shake your head.

"No—no!"you pleaded "don't hurt him. I wasn't good enough for him! I'm not as pretty as Emma—"

"Shut up Y/n" Baji said making you look at him shocked. "Please you think Emma's pretty? Hell she's just a face full of make-up, she's hella bossy, petty and she's a damn ass pick me. But your so fucking pretty! Your naturally beautiful Y/n! Don't tell yourself you aren't, any man would be lucky to have you as their girlfriend. Drakens just a pain in the ass."Baji had now hated Draken, they use to be bestfriend but now since Baji knew Draken cheated on you, he hates his living guts.

"Fuck him. You deserve better then him." Baji said. "Girl you are PERFECT. AMAZING. OUTSTANDING. BEAUTIFUL. DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!""You think?" You said to Baji and he just smirked."I DONT THINK I KNOW Y/N!"You hugged him and laughed.

You love baji so much, he's the best. He looks really mean but deep down he's a huge damn sweetheart.

"Thank you so much Baji"

— a/n

I should make apart two

[miscellaneous-bnha]

Yan! Aizawa x Fem! Reader

@lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten

CW: choking, dubious consent, drugging, kidnapping, alcohol use, aphrodisiac use, general yandere themes, unprotected sex, overstimulation, Aizawa has reader call him daddy

——————————

You probably should have listened when they said you should take a friend to the club, but you were having far too much fun at the moment to care.

Besides, as you quickly learned, you couldn’t even trust them.

Years of wasted time and dedication and more than enough spite for all of them spurred you into putting on your favorite dress, make up done and the best heels you could stand to wear more than a couple of hours.

You looked sexy and you knew it.

So when the handsome gentleman with enough stubble to make you bite your lip just imagining what it would feel like between your legs offered to buy you a drink, you couldn’t find it in yourself to say no.

Then he bought you another, and charmed his way into your interest, deep voice coaxing your thighs together to create some sort of friction. Sweet promises of a good time, big warm hand caressing down your back, sliding over your thigh and making you shiver in anticipation when he gave it a good squeeze.

By the end of the night, you had your legs wrapped around his hips and fingers creating jagged lines of red down his back as he fucked you into his plush mattress, deep growls and moans dragging you closer and closer to your own end.

It didn’t feel right to just leave without leaving some sort of thank you note. Especially since he’d given you an evening far more than what you’d expected, it only felt right to let him know it was appreciated.

You certainly didn’t expect him to send you a text less than 48 hours later asking if you wanted to go for drinks on your next day off. It was certainly flattering to know that such a prime specimen of a man wanted your company.

Maybe if you’d been more aware of your own surroundings, you would have noticed the red flags sooner.

—————

Your weekends were often occupied by the man himself, taking you out to high end clubs you could only dream of entering, yet here you were, sitting at the bar counter of an establishment where any single mixed drink could easily cost you half your groceries.

But if such a gorgeous man wanted to treat you, who were you to say no?

You didn’t really know all that much about him, other than his name was Shouta Aizawa and his dick game was unlike anything you’ve had before. By the time your head was spinning and you were begging for more, he was only just starting.

“Come on, kitten. Tell me how much you want it.” purred so low you could almost hear the bass in it, back arching in hopes of pushing yourself closer to him.

“Please, Shouta! I need you so bad....!” you whine, mouth falling open into a soft gasp when his hand wraps gently around your throat, his teeth tugging at your ear lobe.

“That’s not what I told you to call me, kitty. Try again.”

“Fuck... Daddy please...! Need your cock inside...” your own words trail off as he slowly squeezes his fingers around the sides of your neck, eyes rolling back as your head starts to grow clouded.

“Good girl, kitten...” you keen under his praise, eager to earn more, his free hand massaging and tugging at your nipple, “now just lay back for daddy and let me take care of you.”

You really wish you’d seen the signs.

—————

Your head throbs, light blinding you some. You scrunch your nose when you realize the sheets covering you aren’t your own. You don’t think you’ve ever fully slept through the night at Aizawa’s before.

You expect to see the dark haired male still sleeping next to you, yet the bed was empty. Cold, even, save for your own warmth. Your head throbs as you try to sit up, prompting a sharp hiss at the unnatural exhaustion in your own limbs.

You start to worry when you realize you don’t recall much from the night before, usually very diligent about knowing your limits.

The door opens with a soft click. Everything feels like it’s moving in slow motion when Aizawa approaches you, glass of water in hand and a bottle of painkillers in the other.

“Hey... how are you feeling?” he hands you the glass first, letting you sip at it as you struggle to remember what happened.

“Tired... head hurts. What happened?” you croak, taking the pills he pressed into your hand with a silent nod of thanks.

“Maybe that last drink was stronger than both of us thought.”

You squint for a moment, momentarily remembering that he did— in fact— recommend a drink you’d never had before, wincing when your head throbs.

“Yeah, maybe... thanks for taking care of me.” he shrugs off your thanks,

“Of course. It was partly my fault you ended up like that.”

“Even so. Thank you.”

It’s completely silent for a moment as you finish off your water, then you open your mouth to continue. “Give me about an hour and I’ll get out of your hair.”

He shakes his head, taking your empty glass. “Don’t worry about it. Stay until you feel 100% again. I’d hate for you to fall sick because of me.”

So you stay. Two hours turns into half a day. Half a day turning into one. One day turning into two. You’d started feeling better only a couple of hours ago, yet Aizawa still insisted you stay.

“Alright... but only until tomorrow morning. I wouldn’t want to be a bother.” he doesn’t respond, only bidding you a quiet ‘good night’ before he shuts the door.

—————

When you wake up the next morning, you certainly feel more refreshed. Arms stretching up above your head, you let out a soft groan and sigh just as Aizawa comes in holding another glass of water and the bottle of painkillers.

“Here, just in case.” you don’t think twice when you take them with a soft ‘thank you’. You finish off the glass fairly quickly, eyes flicking up to his when he suddenly caresses your cheek. “Shouta?”

He’s silent for a beat, maybe two. “Do you even realize how gorgeous you are, kitten?” you flush from the sudden compliment,

“Oh, um... th-thank you.” you smile shyly, “you aren’t too bad yourself, you know.”

He doesn’t respond, fingers sliding under your chin to tilt your head up. You feel yourself growing more bashful the more he observes you, fingers tapping on the empty glass in your hands. He whispers something under his breath.

“I’m sorry?” you tilt your head, and his eyes snap to meet yours. He smiles stiffly.

“No, it’s nothing. Breakfast is ready, if you want to head down and eat before you go.” you shiver when he trails his fingers away from your chin and brushes against your neck, suddenly feeling very warm.

“Uhm... yeah! Sounds great.” he leaves you to your own devices again, and you feel your entire body flush with heat and... arousal?

You feel a little embarrassed, getting turned on by some praise like a school girl desperate for her lover’s approval. Your legs are surprisingly weak, and you feel even more embarrassed by the slick gathering in your panties.

You’re still trying to figure out how you’re going to stand up without falling over when Aizawa walks in again. “Everything alright?”

“Ah, yeah, um.. just having a little trouble standing.” you laugh nervously, as he starts to approach you, concern lacing his features. You’re startled by the wanton moan that leaves your mouth when he strokes your back, slapping a palm over your mouth.

On the other hand, he doesn’t seem very worried anymore.

“Kitten?” you shiver, taking in a shaky breath through your nose, “is there something you want to tell me?”

“I-I-aaah...” you find it harder to focus as his free hand touches your thigh, giving it a good squeeze. You moan into your hands again, hunching over yourself in shame.

“I— sorry, I don’t—!” you try desperately to connect the pieces in your mind, but his constant touching and groping makes your head stray farther and farther away. You don’t even realize you’re lying on your back until his hand presses down on the mattress beside your head, fingers teasing the skin just at the edge of the shirt he loaned you.

“You’re so cute when you’re needy like this, baby.” his low, low voice in your ear makes you shudder so violently that you have to grip his shoulder to ground yourself.

You feel like someone clipped a live wire to you, electricity thrumming and vibrating under your skin, heat building up higher the more wet you became until you were certain you’d just soaked your the crotch of your panties entirely.

“W-what— why—?” you pant and moan, hands simultaneously pushing him away while also pulling him closer. You don’t know if his touch is too much or too little, yet you still can’t get enough either way.

“Shhh... you’re okay kitten.” your mouth drops open into a silent scream when his knee meets your quivering cunt, hips moving to grind against it jerkily. “I know it’s uncomfortable right now, but I’ll help you.”

“Wha... what did you do...?” you wheeze, vision blurry as you try to look at him. Even you could see the self-satisfied grin on his face.

Much like the cat who caught the canary.

“I’ll admit, the pills worked a lot faster than I thought. I would have preferred to let you eat before, though this works just fine too.”

“Sh—Shouta?” you whimper, broken moans leaving your lips as he tugs on your nipples through your— his— shirt.

“I had to buy some time to keep you here, kitten.” he murmurs lowly, sucking a bruise onto your neck. You whine at the sensation, squirming and creating more friction between your legs. “I couldn’t stand letting you leave one more night.”

“I don’t.... underst-AND!” your voice hitches when he rips your panties off, thumb pressing against your clit to rub messy circles on it. You don’t even have time to brace yourself for the unexpected orgasm that crashes over you, his groans drowned out by your much louder moans and sobs, barely having been touched but still overstimulated.

Yet, even so, it still felt like you wanted more, needed more.

“I’m sorry I tricked you, baby, but those weren’t painkillers.” your eyebrows furrow, breathy little gasps keeping you from saying anything, “I needed you to want me as much as I want you.”

“... why...?” you whisper.

“Because, kitty...” he presses a soft kiss to your lips, and suddenly the delusional film over his eyes becomes crystal clear, “you’re just the perfect girl for me.”

You moan and twitch when he grinds his cock against your needy pussy, the fabric of his sweatpants making you keen high in your throat with need, hips desperately grinding back down against him.

“If you want me to make you feel better, you best start begging for it. I’ll wait all day if that’s what it takes for you to admit you need me, kitten.”

[male-reader-requests]

City Lights

Requested by: funk-lil-death-omen

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x M!Reader

Word count:1,847

Warnings: uhhh, trigger warning I guess. I don't really know how those go but this does kinda talk about panic attack/ptsd stuff. I don't know much about it, did a smidge of research but still, I apologize if this is kinda ass.

-

This situation was... well shit to say the least.

The entire compound was on lockdown, every single protective measure Tony had put in place was active and it was all because a cybernetically enhanced kid had gotten freaked out. 

Well, kid wasn't the right term. (M/N) was old enough to take care of himself, and he did well. (M/N) was sort of a lone wolf of sorts, going off on long missions that normally took months to years, he was an enigma, no one knew much about him. 

Well, no one knew much about him besides Bucky. Bucky had brought (M/N) with him when he'd moved to the compound, brought him to do everything pretty much. (M/N) hated other people and was very paranoid about everything.

That should have been a red flag to the rest of the team, but they'd written it off. Paranoia when in an area they knew was safe was not a sign of a healthy mind, the nightmares and the defensiveness weren't either but that had also been written off. Everyone in the compound had their issues and they'd thought that was the extent of (M/N)'s.

Unfortunately their writing off had lead to the situation at hand.

It had started out pretty normal, a normal afternoon where the majority of the compound was actually there instead of out on missions. Someone, Bucky can't really remember who, had been cooking lunch with (M/N) hovering behind them. Whoever it had been hadn't minded, asking him to grab things from the fridge and cupboards, showing him how to do certain things.

Bucky had seen this a couple of times, where he'd get very into whatever he was learning and basically forget about the real world so he hadn't seen the Spider kid come in with some game console. Bucky knew the kid hadn't meant to do it, knew that this would literally eat the kid from the inside out for the rest of his life but when he loaded up some game and the gunfire started to play through the speakers (M/N) blanked out and whatever soldier he had once been came into existence.

He knew what would happen, he'd seen this a few times before also, but it was never a pleasant experience. Bucky watched in horror as he pushed someone into the stove and pulled the gun from his belt up. The entire common area was falling into chaos.

Bucky dropped down, he knew that whatever the soldier in (M/N) was would recognize him, either as Bucky or as Winter neither would be good.

A shot fired out, landing where Bucky's head had once been, and then he was running. (M/N) would find somewhere high up, somewhere with a vantage point that he couldn't escape from, somewhere that if he felt it was necessary he could throw himself from.

Bucky was running after him the best that he could, but (M/N) was fast and he knew to lag behind a bit. It never took (M/N) long to come down, but it was a drop, he'd breakdown and he wouldn't be a hazard to others but he would be a hazard to himself. He had to stay behind him to make sure that he hit that drop instead of fighting against it.

He was safe here, but no matter how much that was proved to him he couldn't seem to accept it.

In all honesty, Bucky felt that he should have seen this coming. He'd known (M/N) the longest, knew him the best out of everyone there and he loved the other male. He should have noticed the sign of this creeping up, he knew the signs, he knew the tells and now all he could do was hope to be enough.

(M/N) hadn't slept in 3 days and his emotions seemed to dull a bit, which was unfortunately normal, but he'd been asking about the weather. He only asked about the weather to see if it would rain and storm and that meant he was stressed, that he was falling, and felt that he didn't have anything to hold onto. 

It meant that he felt he was alone, that Bucky hadn't been there for him. 

It was storming now, an odd sort of irony that he hated. It was the sort of irony to fit those stupid love novels that Stevie would read or to match his emotion but no matter how fitting he hated it.

(M/N) loved it though. He loved the rain and the thunder and the lightning, he loved it out an inborn issue with life itself. 

(M/N) grew up in some tiny ass place where the motto was quite literally "Kill or be Killed". The town was dark and fucked and in all technical terms cannibalistic thanks to Hydra fucking with them. (M/N) loved the rain because it muffled everything, made hunting down others easier when you let yourself become a creature of the night.

And he looked every bit the part.

Standing on the roof with his face to the sky (M/N) stood, soaked to the bone but still beside his breathing. His (H/C) hair was plastered to his face, his shirt and pants the same but his eyes were horribly bright against the dark sky, a shining shade of (E/C) brought on by mutated genes.

He was dressed in only black, shirt stolen from Bucky's side of the closet and cargo pants, boots from when he was active in more than Avengers issues, and he still had the gun in his hand.

Lightning fell somewhere behind him and God he was beautiful, but as they stood there in silence (M/N)'s began to shake, his shoulders moving a sadly familiar fashion that tore at Bucky's heart.

He was whispering something, something he said to himself daily and Bucky knew it by heart and it broke him each morning as he listened to (M/N) utter the words to himself just to stay afloat, just to make it through the day.

"An unfair way to be taught is still a way to learn, and it is over," his voice shook, words slurred together as he struggled. "Whether they change or not is irrelevant. If you change is what you keep hold of."

Bucky watched as he took a deep breath, the gun clattering lightly as (M/N) began to shake in earnest. "You keep fighting," he cried, "Get mad if you must. Focus one what is ahead and step forward, for a life left in the same steps you have always been in is a life wasted." 

"(M/N)", Bucky whispered, those bright eyes landing on him. The both of them were crying, Bucky quiet and trying his best to keep calm as (M/N) dropped, tears falling with the rain as he fell to his knees, the gun skidding across the roof.

This was the point in which Bucky would take over, the point in which he became the rock for (M/N) to lean on as the river started to rise around them. 

Neither of them would make it out of the night with a good conscience, but that was fine. Bucky's job was to make sure that (M/N) was comfortable, to make are he would be taken care of, to make sure he would make it through the next 24 hours.

(M/N) never remembered these episodes, probably for the best with how much he cried during these, but he was always a mess. When Bucky got to him he fought at first. He fought against Bucky's hands as they tried to removed soaked hair from his eyes, fought against the jacket being pushed over his shoulders, against the arms wrapping around him to help him inside but he was tired. Soon he gave up, going limp and letting Bucky bring him to their room.

He let Bucky undress him, he let Bucky gently guide him into a bath and let Bucky get in with him. This was always the worst for the taller male, having to watch (M/N) practically be a doll to the world as his brain tried its best to forget things that only seemed to come up at the worst times. 

The bath was hot and smelled faintly of some flower Bucky couldn't remember the name of, thanks to the bath bomb things Tony had been showing him. It was calm, and Bucky was slowly forcing himself to calm down, to relax. The more relaxed he himself was the easier it would be to get (M/N) to do the same.

He leaned back, metal arm across the edge with the flesh one curling (M/N) tight to his chest. He wanted to hold the (H/C) male, to cradle him much like one would to a child but he had to get (M/N) used to this, used to the touching again. It was slow progress, always was and always will be but Bucky'd do it over and over again just to see (M/N) happy and healthy.

Soon enough, which was actually quite a large stretch of time, Bucky had (M/N) curled against him, one arm over his shoulders with the other on his back. (M/N) had crawled into his lap, face shoved into his neck, and if this hadn't such a bad time Bucky probably would have laughed and joked about how (M/N) was more beast than man.

Unfortunately, this is how their night would go. They would sit in the bathtub well past the point of the water going cold, both of them shivering but refusing to get up or change the water. They would sit there until (M/N) was comfortable enough in his own skin for Bucky to get a towel for both of them and move them to the bed.

The room was also cold, so Bucky went about bundling (M/N) in blankets and turning the heater on, before joining the other male on the bed. His arm produced some heat, as any sort of mechanical thing will, but not much. 

The shorter male protested lightly when Bucky started to unbundle him but calmed down soon enough when he situated the two of them together. 

Bucky had his back to the headboard, (M/N) curled up on his side with his face shoved in his neck again, but there was strength coming back to his hands, his nails lightly digging in where he was gripping at Bucky's arms. It meant he was coming down, and that's all the Bucky ask for in all honesty. 

He loved him, and that's all he needed.

[imaginationofacrazyfangirl]

{Metanoia}

Pairing: Jungkook x female reader, Older brother! Jimin x Reader, Hoseok x reader

*8k- ongoing

Genre: Enemies to lovers, childhood friends, major misunderstandings

Warnings: Thigh riding, Fingering, Oral (male receiving) 

Summary: The first time you meet Jungkook, he pushes you off the slide. Second time he calls you ugly. After that things continue spiraling downwards: he cuts your dolls’ heads off, tells everyone you’re a freak at school, spreads malicious rumors; Jungkook’s sole purpose in life is tormenting you. So why five years later is he insisting you two belong together?

Based on a prompt request  by @bangtaened-army​ turned fic. Sorry bangtaened-army for the wait, and the fact that I still haven’t touched the original requested prompt..

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  "I can't believe you would do this to me, Jiminie. After everything I have ever done for you. " you hiss into the phone. Your low voice does little not to garner the nosy looks of other people awaiting their luggage. Despite it being two am at an airport people never tired of drama, and you plotting the murder of your older brother could feed a whole TV show. See Jimin was supposed to pick you at the baggage claim. Keywords supposed to. However, instead of being greeted by your annoying yet lovable sibling you were greeted by someone just plain annoying. 

    "You're being dramatic, (Y/N). I sent Jungkook to pick you up, not Ted Bundy." Jimin replies dryly. Even through the phone you can tell he is rolling his eyes at you. He never understood your hatred towards Jungkook. To him, the dark haired boy is a sweet innocent boy who could do no wrong but you know better. The devil lives inside Jungkook. 

   "I would've preferred the serial killer. At least he'd be less of an ass-" Jungkook grabs the phone from your hand purposely shifting away so you can't take it back. Not that it makes much difference. Even if he was facing you, you would have to jump to reach him.  "Hey man, it's me. Yeah, I know she's a pain but I'll bring her home. No don't worry about it I'm used to it by now. "

    You roll your eyes at this. "Used to it by now," once again everyone sees you as the problem, not Jungkook. Forget the fact he tortured you all throughout childhood. Or that he's the reason everyone bullied you throughout high school.  "Here, you going to behave now or throw another tantrum?" Jungkook asks, hanging back your phone. 

    Immediately you snatch it from his hands clutching it close to your chest. "Never take my phone out of my hand again. You hear me, Jeon?!"

   "Then stop acting like a child and we won't have a problem." Jungkook snarks, arms folded over his chest as he looked down upon you as a parent would. 

    "Fuck you, Jeon! I'll find my own way home." You snap spinning around on your heels. 

     However before you can even take a step, caveman Jungkook throws you over his shoulders. He smacks your ass undoubtedly grinning as he does so. "Alright princess, enough playing. I promised your family to drive you home safely and I'm going to do just that. "

     "You heathen! Let me down!" You pound against his back to no avail. He merely hits your butt again continuing to walk through the airport without a care. Seriously where did airport security go? Aren't they supposed to be on alert for kidnappers or something?

    Apparently not because Jungkook strolls straight past a guard twiddling his thumbs. "Seriously?! Way to keep Korea safe man. I'm being kidnapped before your eyes here, dumbass."

    The guard shoots Jungkook and you a questioning look, clearly unamused by you calling him ‘dumbass.’ Jungkook lets out a nervous laugh, bowing apologetically towards the guard. His grip on you not slipping for even a second. "Sorry she's drunk. Please ignore her." 

    The guard nods. "Best get her out of here or  I'll have to detain her for drunken disorder."

     "Will do. Thanks." 

    "I am not drunk-" you start only Jungkook to hit you yet again hard. You yelp face turning red as the guard laughs. "I swear to God I will murder you. "

    "Do you want security to detain you? Because I'm pretty sure you'll be flagged as a flight hazard and stuck in Korea forever. " 

  Just the mere thought sends shivers down your spine. "No, thank you. "

"Didn't think so. " Jungkook replies. He carries you all the way to his car parked in the visitors' center. Not even letting you go as he climbed the three flights of stairs to get there. Undoubtedly he guessed-and correctly so- you'd run the second he let his guard down. Even when he sets you down to open his car door one hand remains firmly wrapped around your wrist.

     You sigh loudly. "Isn't this a little overkill? We're at your car now."

  "Sit." He merely says, pointing at the seat.

Tossing him a glare you do as told. Despite your previous bravado you know full well Jungkook is right, he is your only way home. Taxis are too expensive, and the rideshare apps went nowhere near your home. As much as you don’t want to admit it, Jungkook’s won this round. Still that doesn’t warrant the victorious grin on Jungkook’s face or the added salt of him reaching over to buckle your belt. "Overkill. Utter overkill. "

   "Got to keep the princess safe don't I?" he says sweetly.

    You cringe. "Enough with the princess stuff. You know I hate that. "

“You didn’t hate it when you were riding my dick last time you came home.” Jungkook mentions, sliding into the driver’s seat beside you. Heat rises to your cheeks at the memory of your last visit: Jungkook’s large hands gripping your waist as you fucked him in the backseat of his car.  His hot breath against your ear whispering dirty things that would make a porn star blush. That feeling of your toes curling as he hits the right spot-

    You shake the memory away. Fucking Jungkook was a mistake. It should’ve never happened. “That was a one time thing, Jeon. I was vulnerable last time. I just got out of a three year relationship-”

   “And you just happened to fall on my dick several times.” Jungkook snorts. His tone stays calm but you can see how his knuckles whitened gripping the steering wheel. “Look you can make all the excuses you want, but it doesn’t change what happened between us. We had sex. Good sex if I might add.”

   “Great sex.” You admit. “But that’s all.”

     As great as Jungkook and you were together, you couldn’t let yourself fall into his trap again. The dark haired boy bullied you for years. He made you cry countless times. Great sex didn’t change anything. Not when you know Jungkook would hurt you in the end.  Neither of you speak as Jungkook pulls out of the parking lot. Whatever conversation you have ends like it always does in harsh words. So for the next hour and a half you stare out the window contemplating your life until your eyes close shut.

   It’s not until a door slams that you open them again. Half awake you can barely make out the familiar street lights of your neighborhood hanging above, or the equally memorable 

houses of it surrounding you. Your car door opens to reveal a haggard Jungkook. He leans over unbuckling you without a word. His soft lush hair tickles your skin as he struggles to get you free.  You reach out to comb your fingers through it. 

   “Are we here?” you mumble, entranced by the silky feel of his hair. “Do we need to get out?”

      Jungkook nods. “Yeah, we’re here. Go back to sleep princess. I got it.”

     You yawn barely comprehending as an arm slides underneath your knees. “Okay, but only if you’re sure.”

     Closing your eyes again you miss Jungkook’s soft whisper of, ‘I’m sure.’

-----

Sunlight hits your face chasing away your dreamless sleep. Your eyes open slowly, greeted by the harshness of lavender colored walls filled with high school photos and cringey boy band posters from way back in the day. Nothing about your bedroom has changed moving out all those years ago.  Everything stayed exactly the same from when you were a teenager. Dreadfully so unfortunately. 

    Groaning you stretch trying to remember how you got into bed. Last thing you remember is asking Jungkook if you were home as he unclipped your seatbelt, so you had to have gotten up.  You must’ve been so tired nothing really processed. A thirteen hour flight would do that to you after all.  “Look what the cat dragged in. I see you survived the car ride with Jungkook alright.” Jimin grins, standing in the doorway of your room. 

   You toss a pillow at him only to miss. “Barely. Seriously what were you thinking having him pick me up? You know how I feel about him.”

     Jimin rolls his eyes. “I was thinking I have work the next day, and that Jungkook is the only guy I trust to pick up my little sister. Because not only would he keep her safe, but he’s the type of guy to carry her inside when she’s passed out.”

    Your mouth dried. “What?”

“I said Jungkook carried your ungrateful ass inside.” 

    Suddenly the memory of Jungkook carrying you in comes to mind. His strong arms wrapped around you as your fingers buried themselves into his shirt. You were only half awake, but you remember everything from the way his cologne smelt to the soft beat of his heart lulling you back to sleep. ‘Sweet dreams princess.’

    “No way. He hates me-besides I’m wearing pajamas!” You protest.

Jimin sighs. “Yeah. That I may have punched him for doing, but (Y/N), Kook doesn’t hate you. Trust me, that boy couldn’t hate you if he tried.”

    “I don’t believe you.” How could you? The first day you ever met Jungkook he kicked you off the slide causing you to scrape your knees. Second time you two met he called you ugly before running off to play with Jimin. After that things got worse, from destroying your barbies, putting kick me signs on you, spreading rumors about you in high school, to telling your crush you were a slut. If those weren’t the actions of a boy who hates you, then you don’t know what is.

    Jimin murmurs something about  ‘misunderstandings’ under his breath, but doesn’t clarify. Instead he simply says. “Look, think what you want, but Jungkook spent the night yesterday since he was too tired to drive home. So be nice okay?”

   “Whatever.” you reply, not mentioning the fact he lives down the road. Just this once you’d behave. After all, he did carry you home.

   Jimin smiles, tossing the pillow back. Naturally it hits you right square in the face.  "Good girl. Now get dressed. The last thing I need to see is my best friend eyeing up my little sister. "

  You let out a silent curse, but do as told. Honestly it really didn't matter. When you lived at home you walked around in yoga pants while braless all the time, Jungkook be damned. This was your house and you refused to give up comfort because your brother's friend came over. It drove Jimin insane. To the point he'd throw random items until you either changed or returned to your room. However that was ages ago before Jungkook ever saw you naked or bent you over the counter of his kitchen.

   “Stop it.” You slap yourself. “Thinking about it will do you no good.”

    Unfortunately the pep talk does little to stop the wanting ache between your legs. Jungkook is the last person you slept with since breaking up with your ex. After you returned to America the last time you simply threw yourself into work, barely sparing a glance at the opposite gender. “Fuck. You need to get laid, (Y/N). Preferably not by Jeon this time.” you whispers.

----- 

   Breakfast is an interesting affair. Like always your parents and brother treat Jungkook as if he's part of the family, your mother piles food onto his plate while your father and Jimin discuss the latest sports and news trends with him. Occasionally one of your parents will praise Jungkook on something he did, mentioning how proud they are of him to which Jungkook eats up like a starving man at a feast. 

     Meanwhile you play around with your rice ignoring the sour feeling of getting ignored by your own family. After all, it's not like you lived out of the country and only came home once in a blue moon. So what did it matter if your childhood enemy ate up all your attention? "Thank you again, Jungkook, for bringing (Y/N) home. I know how much of a pain she can be to you. " your mother says. 

   Jungkook grins, the sun practically illuminating him from behind as he tactfully shrugs off the gratitude with a, 'It's no problem, Mom.' His butter wouldn't melt in my mouth routine sickens you to the point you want to vomit. 

     "I would've been perfectly fine finding my own ride home. " You mumble indignantly. 

   The comment earns you a sharp whack on the head by your mother's slipper. "The words are, 'thank you, Jungkook. ' I swear I don't know how I raised such an ungrateful daughter. "

     You roll your eyes, swallowing the comment about her shitty parenting skills. "I mean how are you ever going to find a husband with that bad attitude of yours?" She laments, projecting into her usual rant of marriage and grandchildren. 

    Like always you ignore it taking the few blows to the head she gave whenever ranting about your marital future. Besides you, Jimin snickers enjoying your torment, having been born a boy he's safe from your mother's wrath since 'no girl is good enough for my precious Jimmie.' Thankfully your father has an ounce of sympathy left for you. "She's doing fine, hunny. (Y/N) has a good home and a steady job-"

    "You're too soft on her! That's why she's like this. " your mother dismisses. "I mean what man would fall for a woman with such an ugly personality?"

   Your heart gives a painful squeeze at her words, while such speech is common with your mother that doesn't make it hurt any less.  "Actually I know someone who'd be interested in going out with (Y/N)." Jungkook pipes up, a big grin stretching across his face. 

   You shoot him a warning glare to which he shrugs off. A surprise gasp- that is way too exaggerated in your opinion- escapes your mom, she looks at Jungkook as if he hung the moon. "Oh Jungkook, that would be wonderful. But we ask you to risk your friendship like that."

    "I promise you're not. This guy has loved- liked (Y/N) for a long time. He knows what she's like. " Jungkook waves off. 

   "Really? Who?" your dad asks, causing you to frown. Why does everyone think you are so unlovable? Seriously you are starting to get insulted, although you also question Jungkook and his 'friend. '

  Jimin snorts, giving Jungkook a weird look. "Yes Jungkook, who is this mysterious guy madly in love with my sister?"

   The tips of Jungkook's ears turn red and he ducks his head sheepishly, probably not expecting Jimin to call him out on his bluff.  "What does it matter? A man is interested in our (Y/N)! All my prayers are answered!" Your mom cries, saving Jungkook from whatever bullshit he is about to spout. "Oh Jungkook, you're so wonderful. Any mother would be lucky to have you."

    "Hey!" Jimin protests, earning a string of reassurances and praises from your mother. For a man who prided himself on his cool nature,  Jimin was a mama's boy.

   "I'm going to get started on the dishes. " you sigh, collecting the empty plates. As much as you love your family there's only so much one can take of them, hence moving to America. 

  "I'll help." Jungkook says, quickly gathering the dishes from your hand. Without another word he disappears into the kitchen like a little boy eager to impress his mom or in this case your mom; it  adds to your rising irritation. You don't know what his game is, but if Jungkook thinks he can pull a fast one on you, he'll be sorely surprised.

    You enter the kitchen to find Jungkook already washing the dishes, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up displaying his smooth muscular arms. Your eyes roam over them taking in the tattoos littered on his tan skin; he had gotten more since you last saw him, practically a full sleeve now. They look good on him not that you would ever admit it. "Hey, I wash, you dry?" Jungkook offers, throwing a towel your way. 

    You frown. "I got it. Go back to the table."

    Jungkook scoffs. "Seriously? You would rather do dishes- which you hate doing- then spend five minutes with me?"

   "Oh don't try to guilt trip me,  Jeon. That whole 'I know someone who likes (Y/N),' what utter bullshit. " you snap. "Tell me, were you going to laugh when I arrived at some restaurant only and no one comes?"

    Jungkook rolls his eyes. “You really need to see someone about this paranoia issue of yours, because this is beginning to get ridiculous.”

    “Excuse me? Paranoid? You bullied me all my life-"

  "I pushed down the slide when we were four. Get over it."

   "You cut off my barbies' head! Repeatedly called me ugly. Spread rumors about me in high school, and to top the cherry off you told Hoseok,  I was a slut. So no I won't get over it." You stomp your foot. 

   Jungkook clenches his jaw, the cup in his hand practically cracking under his grip. He says nothing, dropping the cup and sponge into the sink, before storming out like a madman.From the living room your parents call out Jungkook's name only for him to ignore them. The front door slams shut shaking the house so hard that the dishes tremble in their drying rack.

 "What happened to being nice to Jungkook?" Jimin's voice surprises you from behind. Disappointment is written all over his face, and the way his body positions itself (arms crossed, legs parted) tells you, you're in for a lecture. 

   You turn away not in the mood to be parented by someone two years your senior. Especially not when he allots Jungkook to bully you without a single reprimand. "He started it. Telling mom he'd set me up with some imaginary guy only to laugh when I get 'stood up."

     Jimin groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.  "You two are killing me. Look I can't spell it out for you, that is Jungkook's business, so I am just going to say this...I destroyed your barbies not Jungkook. "

   You froze. "What?"

 "I cut off Minnie's, Hana's and Lany's heads. You pissed me off by eating my snack. I wanted revenge." Jimin shrugged. 

   "B-but I caught Jungkook red handed! I saw him with Minnie's head!" 

   A sheepish look grew on his face. He tucks a piece of hair behind his ear, a habit he did whenever nervous. "Yeah, he was trying to fix her. "

   The dish in your hands drops shattering against the kitchen floor. Your mouth opens but no words come out; funny seeing how thousands of thoughts run through your head. "You asshole!" 

     Jimin winces. "Sorry. It was a dick move- but my point is you thought Jungkook did it and he didn't. So isn't it possible you are wrong about everything else?”

------

       You spend the next few days wandering around town bored. While you feel grateful to be home and see everyone you love, the list of things to do in your town is actually quite small compared to home ( perks of living in a small town). Outside of grocery shopping with your mom, reading on the veranda with your father, and bugging Jimin whenever possible, there’s not much to do. Things are especially boring since Jungkook disappeared after that morning. The bunny looking boy normally makes it his personal mission to bother you as much as possible. Disregarding the few hours he has to work, Jungkook always was there first thing in the morning to laugh at your ridiculous bed head. Yet for the last few days he’s been nowhere in sight.  When asked about it Jimin merely shrugged saying he was busy, before smirking and stating unnecessarily, “If you miss him that much, why don’t you call him yourself?” 

       It isn’t that you miss Jungkook, despite what Jimin said about your Barbie dolls, you still believe deep down he hates you. After all just because you were wrong about one thing didn’t mean you were wrong about everything else.  No, you asked Jimin, because it’s unusual given that the boy practically lived at your home. It’s not like you actually miss his stupid face over something. Perhaps if you had more friends this boredom wouldn’t be an issue. Sadly you weren’t much of a social butterfly back in high school; unlike Jimin who was part of the “popular” crowd, you were an outcast. As much as you tried, the only people who would hangout with you were Jimin’s friends.

     At first you thought it was something you did, but later you found out Jungkook told everyone you were a ‘freak of nature,’ and it was only because he and the others felt bad that they hung around you. Hearing what he said devastated you. It was the first time you realized how much Jungkook hated you. Moreover his words stopped you from ever really trusting anyone who wanted to be friends.

 “Isn’t it possible you are wrong about everything else?”  

Pushing the thought back you try to ignore the nagging feeling growing inside birthed by your brother’s words.  You fucking doubt it. How could something like that be so easily explained away? “I think this is your fifth lap around town.” a familiar voice calls out, snapping you back to reality. “People are beginning to think you’re a weirdo.”

       You don’t even have to look up to tell who it is. On this planet only one person owns a voice so annoying it instantaneously grates on your nerves. “Get lost, Jeon. I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

He snorts, continuing to follow you in his car. “You know it’s supposed to storm today right? You should head home before it pours.”

“Like I said: No One Asked You, Jeon.” you reply, promptly turning on your heels to head in the opposite direction.  He’s the last person you want to see given your current thoughts. Whatever longing you might’ve previously had for him disappeared the moment you remembered why Jungkook was your enemy. Thankfully he doesn’t follow most likely finding something more interesting to waste his time on.

You continue walking onwards too infuriated by the past to notice the dark clouds starting to form above. It’s not until something wet hits your skin that you take notice of the sudden drop in temperature and gathering winds. “Fuck.” you hiss feeling another raindrop.

Of course Jungkook would be right. The universe just fucking loved him like everyone else did. You get stuck with the short end though: running in the rain searching for shelter, only for you to naturally find yourself in the part of town  empty of all businesses. “Perhaps I can stand under a tree until it calms down.” 

 Lightning flashes across the sky followed by a loud BOOM of thunder making you jump. A small sob escapes your lips as you subconsciously curl yourself into a ball. Thunder always scares you no matter how old you get. “I’m not here. I’m not here.” you whisper, rocking on balls of your feet.

 However the deafening sounds of thunder destroys any hopes of pretending to be elsewhere. So you curl tighter into a ball praying for it all to stop. Overwhelmed with fear you don’t process the feel of someone’s jacket draping over you or the angry voice of Jungkook saying, “I told you to go home.”

It’s not until he yet again scoops you into his arms that you snap from your trance. You watch shocked as he carries you to the car. Through the rain and lightning he looks nothing like the boy you remember. Instead...he looks like a man you could very well fall in love with. 

  “Jung...Jungkook” You mumble, gripping his shirt as he sets you down into the passenger seat. He looks up at you in a mixture of curiosity and surprise. Neither of you can remember the last time you called him by his first name. It’s always been Jeon never Jungkook. “Thank you....”

“Don’t worry about it.” Jungkook replies, shutting the car door. He walks over to the driver’s side sliding easily into it.

 Now clear from the rain you can make out how drench he really is: hair soaked, clothes sticking to his skin, it makes you all too aware of the jacket covering you. Reluctantly you shrug it from your shoulders missing the comforting weight of it almost immediately. “Here. This is yours. You should wear it.”

Jungkook glares. “Keep it.

“No. It’s yours. You must be freezing without it-” 

   “I said keep it! God damn it, (Y/N). Why can’t you listen for once?” he snaps, hitting the steering wheel. You recoil taken back by his outburst. Never have you seen Jungkook so angry. At most Jungkook stormed off or glared whenever mad at you, never did he raise his voice at you. "I told you to go home. I told you it was going to storm but you didn’t listen."

    "I'm sorry…" 

     "You don't get it. You could've gotten sick if I didn't find you in time. Or worse you could have gotten hurt…"

   "Oh."  You reply, unsure what to say. Worrying about you wasn't something you expected from Jungkook, but it strikes a painful chord within you. Your heart should be warmed by the thought instead a painful sinking feeling fills it. Suddenly you want nothing more than to burst into tears. “You were worried?”

   Jungkook lets out a long tired sigh. "Of course I was worried. You’ve been terrified of thunder storms since we were five, why wouldn’t I worry about you being out in one?”

       ‘Trust me, that boy couldn’t hate you if he tried.’ Jimin’s words ring in your ears. ‘My point is you thought Jungkook did it and he didn't. So isn't it possible you are wrong about everything else?’

   Could Jimin be right? Is everything you thought  one big misunderstanding? You were so sure of Jungkook’s guilt previously, but now...you couldn’t picture him as the sinister bully you’ve known all your life.  “I’m sorry. I should’ve listened and turned around.” you admit, “I’m so used to chalkin everything you say off as meaningless teasing, I didn’t consider you actually meant well.”

    “You never do.” Jungkook huffs. For a second you swear you can see pain fill his dark bambi eyes as he looks at you. It is an expression you’ve never seen on his face before, a look of hurt and dejection. Again your heart twists painfully in your chest. “You always assume I’m out to get you, when really I’m just trying to be nice. I mean sure I tease and joke around with you, but (Y/N), I would never purposefully hurt you. I know you don’t believe me-”

   “Okay. I believe you.” 

Jungkook’s foot slips hitting the break. The car lurches forward causing you both to nearly hit your heads on the dashboard. His head snaps in your direction so fast it practically gives you whiplash. “What? What did you say?”

 Around you, cars honk aggravated by the standstill in the middle of traffic; you don’t care though. All you care about right now is the look of disbelief, shock, and hope marring Jungkook’s beautiful face. In that moment you realize how little you care about the truth. It’s unexplainable the sudden urge to move on from your prior hate, but you want to...you want to believe Jungkook is a good guy. “I believe you, Jungkook.” you swallow hard. “And I’m sorry for being such a bitch to you. So please forgive me.”

   You don’t know what you expected Jungkook’s reaction to be, however it certainly wasn’t this. “I’ll think about it.”

  If not for the sudden smirk pulling at his lips, you would’ve felt horrible. Instead you feel infuriated. “You asshole. I take it back. I’m not sorry. You hear me?! Not sorry!”

  Jungkook merely laughs, shaking his head. “No backsies remember, (Y/N)? You can’t take it back.”

  You glower remembering the childish rule Jimin, Jungkook and you made up in elementary school. It was to keep each other from ducking out of any dares or promises made, and apparently apologies now. “I hate you.”

         Jungkook laughs harder. “I’m sure you do. Let’s go home, huh? I’ll make you hot chocolate if you behave.”

“I always behave.” You mutter, rolling your eyes. A second passes. “There better be whipped cream and marshmallows with that.”

     “Anything you want princess. Anything you want.” 

----------------------------------------------

You wonder if it’s creepy to find Jungkook so attractive while wearing your brother’s clothings. On Jimin, this grey sweatpants and hoodie combo makes him look like a homeless man, but on Jungkook, it has your mouth practically watering. The normally baggy material conforms perfectly to his body hiding nothing to the imagination. You see every curve, groove, muscle and bone (especially a certain large one in the middle of his sweats) in this boy’s body, and then to make things even worse you catch a sliver of tan skin anytime Jungkook raises his arms. Beautiful tan skin whose tantalizing taste and feel plagues your mind. 

    Suddenly you regret not putting up a fight about Jungkook coming over. Sure he was soaking wet from giving you his jacket, however Jungkook also lived down the street from you-he didn’t have to change into Jimin’s clothes. “Do you know if the dryer’s free?” Jungkook asks, lifting up said bundle of drenched clothes.

    “Ummm, yeah I believe so. You want me to put them up for you?” you offer, trying not to stare. Although things are technically supposed to be cool between you guys now, they’re not. Years of mistrust and hatred don’t simply vanish after an apology or sudden decision to forgive, instead the emotions built between you two need to be sorted through and really only time could do that. Which is why you try super hard not to let lust takeover and destroy the fragile truce recently made.

  Jungkook shakes his head. “Thanks, but I can manage."

You nod not knowing what else to say. Again his lips twist in that disgusting smirk you so despise, this time paired with a wink. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon enough for your ogling pleasure.”

 Quickly you look away, “Who’s ogling who, Jeon? Cause it’s certainly not me.”

   “Oh really?” Jungkook says, cocking an eyebrow. He steps forward caging you against the wall. Something dangerous gleams within those large eyes of his as Jungkook stares down at you with a ravenous look.  Shivers run down your spine sending a delicious shock through your body. “That’s too bad, because I was definitely ogling you, princess. Seeing you wear this oversized shirt gives me sooo many ideas.”

    You swallow hard, licking your suddenly dry lips. “Stop joking around. You and I know there’s nothing sexy about this shirt.”

    “I disagree. Believe it or not, I find girls sexiest when they’re comfortable with themselves. All that lace and lingerie is nice, but nothing is hotter than a girl wearing my shirt and nothing else.” Jungkook admits. “It brings out the territorial side in me.”

  Your brows crease. “That makes sense I guess, but this isn’t your shirt. It’s Jimin’s-”

     “Mine. I left it here one night after sleeping over Junior year. “ he explains. “You stole it from Jimin’s drawer thinking it was his.”

    “Oh….sorry. I’ll give it back.” Despair fills you at the thought. This is your favorite shirt regardless of it being a plain white t-shirt, it always makes you feel safe and comfy when wearing it as odd as it sounds. However you can’t afford to disrupt the newfound civialty between Jungkook and you.

      Jungkook snorts. “Keep it. Not like it will fit me anymore. Besides like I said, nothing turns me on more than a woman in my shirt. Why do you think I never asked for it back, princess?”

 He reaches out to toy with the hem of the shirt, his fingers drawing soft circles against your hip bone.   "Although I think I'd prefer you without it on, or rather anything on at all."

    "Jungkook…" you barely managed to get out as he lifts the material upwards. Cold air hits instantly pebbling your nipples despite the rush of warmth growing below. Instinctively you move to cover yourself only for Jungkook to grab your wrist. 

  "Please (Y/N). I've been dying to touch you since day one of your return." He begs, bringing your hand down. 

     "Okay." You whisper. 

"Okay. " he smiles, pressing his lips to yours. Those large hands clutch your shoulders as he presses further against you. All those curves and muscles you admired previously push up against your bare skin. Through the sweatpants you can feel how hard he is.

     A gasp escapes you as Jungkook's hands move towards your breasts caressing the underbelly of them. His fingers circle the outer edges of your nipples tracing them,  before finally moving to touch them.  He treats you like glass, a vast difference from your previous encounters and it's starting to annoy you . "I'm not made of glass you know?" You remind, stopping his hands. "You can be rough with me. "

      "Trust me, I know.  If memory serves correct you prefer it when I do something like this-" Jungkook snorts, grinding into you. The friction of his length against your clothed heat is exactly what you need. Moaning loudly you grip onto his arms trying to steady yourself. 

"That's it. Such a slut for friction. You honestly thought I'd forget how you made yourself cum on my thigh that night?" Jungkook smirks, fingers grazing along the edges of exposed skin. Goosebumps rise along wherever he touches and you squirm like underneath him. His smirk widens as he plays along the hem of your booty shorts. "I had to wash my jeans afterwards, they were so drenched from you. "

    "I didn't hear you complaining." You shoot back, pressing your hips against him in efforts to regain that delicious friction. "If I remember correctly you had fun flexing your leg underneath me."

     "Never said I didn't.  In fact I would very much like a repeat of that night." Jungkook grins, shifting so his thigh is between your legs.  The muscle in his leg flexes teasing your core; in a commanding tone he whispers, "Go crazy, princess. Ride me. Right here, right now, I promise I'll take care of ya. "

    That's all you need to hear to descend into madness. Almost instinctively you latch onto Jungkook digging your nails into his firm shoulders as you wantonly thrust against his leg. Moans escape your lips in wild abandon as his muscles rub against your clit at the perfect angle. Jungkook is right you are a whore for thigh riding. 

    Just when you think it can't get any better Jungkook's hand slips under your panties, fingers immediately finding that hard pearl between your legs. He brushes it softly causing you to hiss as your knees close in unwillingly to give up such feeling. Now this is more like it. 

    "You like that?"  He teases, forefinger circling your clit slowly.

    "Mmhmm…" you nodd, grinding harder in an attempt to pick up his pace. 

   "Words princess. Tell me exactly what you want. "

       "More. " you cry out. "Kook. More please. I need you. "

   Oddly the nickname spurs him on if the harsh whisper of, 'fuck' says anything. If not then certainly the desperate opened mouth pressed to your lips does. Silently you make a mental note to use the nickname again but it's momentarily lost as his fingers pick up speed.  This time it's you uttering curses as Jungkook brings you right to the edge of cumming.

    "Please, please, I'm so close."  You want him so badly it's ridiculous. The smirk widens on his face, Junkook decides to reward you by slipping two of his fingers into your core. "Fuck Kook!"

   "That's it, princess. Come for me. Show me how good you feel." Jungkook pumps his fingers into you. All words leave you as a haze of ecstacy falls over you, all you can is moan rocking deliberately against his hand.  With every thrust his fingers somehow hit that special spot inside you. 

     Jungkook's an expert at knowing all your spots and kinks, almost as if he memorized everything about you, last time he and you were together. Either way impressed doesn't even begin to describe how you feel about his abilities. You moan his name, holding onto to him tightly as you orgasm onto his thigh. It lasts longer than expected small waves of pleasure still coming despite the relaxed posture of your body resting on his. 

        Gently Jungkook strokes your hair in a  manner similar to what lovers do after such an event. Alarm bells ring out at the action, but you make no move to stop him. "Was that a good enough reenactment for you?" You mention, half teasing. 

    Jungkook grins. "Better than good. You got me so hard, princess, I don't know how I can last."

   This time it's you who smirks. Sliding off of his thigh, you get on your knees anxious for the next act. "Well then, I better make what little time you do have as great as possible. "

    Before Jungkook can say a word you reach under the waistband of his sweats gripping his length tenderly in your hand. The groan uttered from Jungkook's lips at the slightest touch of your hand ignites another fire within you. Smirk widening you pull out your prize, taking a second to admire the gorgeous cock. Despite having seen it before you can never quite get its length or the beautiful curve of it. 

     Running a finger along the thick veins you see a bit of pre-cum at its tip. "You weren't joking when you said that last act turned you on." You tease, swiping over his head with your thumb.

     Staring into his eyes, you put your thumb into your mouth sucking off the cum.  The salty taste makes your mouth water, with an exaggerated pop take your thumb out. "Fuck, (Y/N). Don't tease, I'll go insane if you do." Jungkook pleads.

    "So needy." You say, taking him into your mouth. Thankfully your last boyfriend was somewhat of a blow job junkie, and while Jungkook is twice as large as he was, you have no problem taking his length into your mouth. The tip touches the back of your throat, instinctively you hollow your cheeks sucking in a slow teasing manner. 

   You  swirl your tongue about his base enjoying the beautiful noises Jungkook made under your tongue. Soon a hand buries itself into your hair, gripping tightly in an attempt to control the pace. Normally you wouldn't allow such behavior preferring your lover to suffer under you, however there's something about Jungkook's desperation to get off using your mouth that sends heat pooling to your core. It doesn't take long until he's spilling into your mouth, hands pulling on your hair he thrusts his hips forward pushing himself further into your mouth.  

  “Shit, princess. That was great. Almost as good as cumming inside you." Jungkook sighs running a hand through his messy hair. 

    You smile wiping the corners of your mouth clean. "Unfortunately you're going to have to miss out. Jimin will be home soon."

  Again his hands make their way to your hips, already you can tell he's angling for another kiss. "We'll have to be quick then. "

       Jungkook leans forward, but this time you pull away. "The last thing Jimin needs is to walk in on us….besides we need to wash these sweats before he gets home. "

     His lips curl into a smile practically relishing in your embarrassment, "Fair enough princess, but don't think we are done yet. I plan on making your toes curl as much as possible until the plane ride home. "

  You cock an eyebrow. “Those are big words coming from a man who just begged me to cum. What makes you think I’m going to let you?”

      “Easy, because you like it as much as I do.” Jungkook replies, grinding himself once more against you. A sharp hiss escapes you; almost uncontrollably you push back desperate for that sweet friction, however Jungkook moves away denying any sensation. “ Nuh uh, Jimin’s going to be home soon. Wouldn’t want him catching us, now would we (Y/N)? You’ll  have to wait until next.”

    “You, son of a bitch!” You snap, glaring daggers at his retreating form. As much as you hate to admit it, something tells you this newfound friendship with Jungkook is going to be more than you bargained for.

    --------

Despite what your parents may think, your summer vacation home isn’t an excuse to be lazy. While it is true that Korea’s summer vacations are shorter than American's, as a teacher you still have plenty of work left to do during the student’s time off. One such thing happens to be reading over the posts written by your honor’s literature course throughout the break. Normally you graded them at night when everyone was asleep, but as your class delves deeper into the context of Frankenstein, you find yourself unable to keep your nightly routine with the density of the topic. Hence why you now sit in a cafe  hunched over your laptop rereading Joni’s obviously copyrighted post. 

    “You look lost in thought.” A cheery voice teases.

   For a second your brain tricks into thinking it’s Jungkook talking, after all he’s been bothering you extra since the two of you made the transition from enemies to fuck buddies. So it wouldn’t be unusual if the dark haired boy stalked you to the cafe to annoy you. However when you look up it’s not tattooed arms or a dopey bunny looking face you see, instead a pair of smiling almond shaped eyes stare down at you, their owner a very familiar reddish brunette. 

    “Hoseok!” you cry, leaping up only to hit your knee on the table. It throbs causing a sharp expletive to escape your lips. Embarrass you try to shake it off as if it never happened. Last thing you need is to make a fool of yourself in front of him. “Hi, I didn’t see you there.”

   “I can tell.” he laughs gesturing towards your knee. “I didn’t mean to startle you, (Y/N). It’s just been ages since I last saw you.”

   Your heart skips a beat. Nervously you tuck a strand of hair behind your ears in attempts to play cool. Logically you know you have no reason to get nervous, especially not when Hoseok ditched you at a restaurant after getting told you were a slut by Jungkook. Yet, for whatever reason that small high school girl who idolized him still remains inside you.

    “Almost six years. “ You smile. “Time has sure flown by hasn’t it?”

“Maybe but you haven’t changed much.” Hoseok winks, causing your brows to furrow. Haven’t changed much? What was he talking about? Did he not see your clear evolution from loner geek into potential adult? “You’re still as pretty as you were back in high school.”

   This time you are pretty sure your heart stops. It takes everything in your power not to gap like a wide-mouth fish out of water. Time seems to slow down in the small coffee shop as you work to come up with a response. Suddenly all the previous noises of chatter, whistling kettles and clanking plates become overwhelming rather than peaceful. Unfortunately even after being in a committed relationship for two years, your flirtation skills are still rusty. “You obviously need glasses then, because I looked like a hobo back then.”

      You can slap yourself. Literally-actually slap yourself for that stupid ass comment. Thankfully Hoseok doesn’t seem to mind only laughing even harder than before. “Nah, you were the prettiest girl on campus. Everyone was just afraid of you, because Jimin and Jungkook always hung around you-speaking of which, I want to apologize for how I acted back then. I shouldn’t have ditched you over such a stupid thing like that.”

    “Oh, it’s fine. Water under the bridge trust me.” you lie, ignoring the pang in your chest. Just remembering that day brings a new fire of hostility towards Jungkook. No matter how many years pass you still remember the day clearly. You were waiting for Hoseok at a local dinner, anxiously checking your phone for any messages or calls. A full hour passed with you insisting multiple times to the kind waitress that your date was arriving soon, however Hoseok never showed up. 

     You tried contacting him, worried that something terrible happened only to never get a response. Once home, you even bug Jimin who was friends with Hoseok then about the cheery boy, only to be brushed off. It’s not until you went to school the next day and confronted Hoseok in the hallway that you found out the truth. Jungkook let it loose that you were a slut and Hoseok being the knight in shining armor he was, fought him. They were equally matched with both of them garnering bruises and bumps because of it, but ultimately they were tied. 

“Look (Y/N), you seem like a nice girl, ” Hoseok said, brushing you off. “And what Jungkook said about you being a slut probably isn’t true, but I really can’t handle all this drama between you two.”

  That day your heart broke in two as dramatic as it sounds. Moreover from that moment you vowed to hate Jeon Jungkook for the rest of your life. “No, it’s really not and I might be overstepping my boundaries, but I would like another chance to get to know you.” Hoseok asks, rubbing the back of his neck.

   "Okay. " the word slips through your lips before you even have a chance to think it over. 

     His face lights up and any doubt you once had shatters completely. People change, Jungkook did so maybe Hoseok matured too. Either way it wouldn't hurt to try again. "Great. It'll be fun, I promise. "

     "I'm going to hold you to that Hoseok. " you tease. Inside you the giddiness grows, it feels as if you walked into some sort of dream or something. Didn't every girl dream of her high school crush finally realizing what a catch she is?

   "You won't regret it."  Hoseok swears. "Anyway I should let you get back to work, but first can I get your number?"

   You rattle it off to him, doing your best to appear stoic, unfortunately the aching in your smiling cheeks suggests utter failure.  Afterwards your students' work feels like less frustrating or maybe you're feeling a little generous seeing how Trisha totally bullshited her review yet you still gave a ⅘ on it. Whatever the reason you finish up faster than expected, leaving the cafe with an extra hour of free time.  "Well if it isn't a princess set free from her tower!" Someone whistles. 

  Unlike earlier you have no issue distinguishing the playful voice of Jungkook. Turning towards the noise, you unsurprisingly find him propped up against his car in a cool uncaring fashion. His work clothes only help amplify the appearance; the black suit jacket paired perfectly with his white dress shirt and pants ensemble make him look like a Chaebol rather than plain Jungkook. All in all he looks absolutely mouth watering, but you'd die before ever admitting it. "If it isn't the ogre coming out of his swamp to play. " you tease, pinching his arm. 

  He chuckles, opening the passenger's door of his black Lexus. "I think you forget the ogre got his princess in the end. "

   You wrinkle your nose in faux disgust. "Good luck, finding one. I don't know how many people can put up with your ugly mug. "

  "Don't need to. I already captured you. " Jungkook replies, closing the car door. 

    You blink registering what he said.  "That's the cheesiest line I've ever heard."

 He shrugs slipping on a pair of faux Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses. Paired with the rest of his outfit, the glasses shattered the image of the rich Chaebol man. Their paint chipped arms and scratched off logo scream 'fake' and you wonder why Jungkook kept such hideous knock offs. "You should get rid of those. They make you look cheap. "

    Jungkook scrunches his nose. "No way, they were a gift. "

   "A gift purposefully bought from some shady street vendor, because my mother insisted I buy you a college graduation gift." You say, reaching out to grab them.

     Naturally Jungkook only needs to lean away to thwart your efforts. "So? I like them. "

    "You look like one of those wannabe entrepreneurs on Instagram. "

   "How dare you! I have over five hundred followers, I'm legendary!"

     "Did Jimin make five hundred accounts? Because he's the only who would follow your ass!"  You say, attempting one more shot at retrieving those vile glasses. 

     Once more Jungkook merely tilts his head blocking your stubby little arms from reaching. "Whatever you say princess, we both know you're the one following my ass around here. "

  "I'm following you? How laughable. I didn't know you were a comedian, Jungkook…" the two of you continue bantering the rest of the car ride home.

--------------

Author’s note: Special thanks to @dreamsfromthesandman​ for editing and putting up with my craziness even if she’s not army.

[honeydewmuses-a]

@not-bcring said: ❝ Oh— Heh... Sorry. Am I staring too much? ❞ Nagito says with a light laugh, rubbing the back of his head as pale cheeks tinge pink. Honestly? That's probably it. He had been looking at Hajime for a while. But that's only because, well... he doesn't really know how the other feels about him anymore. After that first class trial and him coming clean with his intentions, his beliefs, his DESIRES (of a hope-centered sort) it wouldn't be strange for the other male to despise him now. Everyone else does. Everyone else always does. Unfortunately, he can't tell just from a look. Not when looking at Hajime, anyway... He's more difficult to read than most people Nagito has come in contact with. It's both admirable and frustrating all at once. Kinda like Hajime. Smiling as if he hadn't just set in motion the death of two people, Nagito's expression is empathetic as it ever was, reminiscent of that moment he first greeted Hajime on the beach. ❝ You look troubled.... Wanna talk about it? ❞ - ( *shoves a boi @ Hajime with No regrets or apologies fdjkgndfgdfg - for after the first trial because What The Fuck Nagito lol )

Nagito's right about one thing. Hajime is troubled. Troubled by Nagito's sudden revelation of character, and troubled by the deaths he's just witnessed, and troubled by how much he still likes the guy who openly confessed that he was ready to kill and is still ready to die.

That can't be healthy. Not for Nagito, who's clearly fucked in the head, or for Hajime, who has been shown the biggest red flag he can imagine and is still allowing himself to take in the curve of Nagito's jawline and the way his eyes gleam in the low light of evening.

This is how serial killers get you, Hajime thinks. They're smart, and interesting, and attractive enough that you want to trust them even once you know you shouldn't.

He hasn't actually read anything about serial killers, but it would make sense to him. Because, looking at Nagito, Hajime knows that the decision between saving his own life and getting a kiss from Nagito Komaeda would somehow not be an easy one to make.

"Yeah," he says, finally opting to speak. "Yeah, what we just saw... how were you not more upset? I mean, your whole thing back there was about hope, right? How are you gonna say you're on the side of hope and also enable murder like that? It's fucked up. It makes me feel like I shouldn't even be talking to you right now."

Hajime's words come from a place of confusion, not accusation, and it shows in his tone. Is he bad for wanting to know? Murder is murder, right? So he shouldn't be curious about Nagito's motive, even if the murder didn't entirely pan out.

He should be spending time with someone he can count on to not kill him. Maybe Chiaki. Yeah, Chiaki's just as beautiful as Nagito, and she's way more sane. But, then again, Chiaki's not the one who offered him attention and comfort, and he already started with this conversation, so there's no harm in sticking it out. Besides, if the killing game keeps going like Monokuma wants it to, Nagito probably hasn't got much time left. His whole spiel back there practically put a target on his chest.

It's a nice chest, too. Hajime can just imagine himself curling into it when he's tired, Nagito's hair falling over both of them when he leans down to kiss-- nope. Nope. Not doing this. Especially not when Nagito's just said and done all that.

"Just... I thought we were friends. But friends don't kill each other, y'know? If you can make it make sense..."

Hajime doesn't know what then. Maybe he'll feel less guilty for his fascination with and attraction to Nagito. Maybe he'll feel okay about not being afraid of him. Or maybe he'll never be able to understand it without going a little crazy himself. But he wants to give Nagito a chance to at least try and explain.

[bangtan-madi]

pictionary — jeon jungkook

Pairing — Jungkook x Reader

Genre — fluff, slight angst, non-idol au

Word Count — 2.4k

Summary — When an adorable stranger becomes lost in a city not his own, surrounded by citizens who don’t speak his native tongue, there’s one person who goes out of her way to help him find his way home. And what better way to cross a language barrier than through the blank page of a sketchpad?

Warnings — Basically none, mild language

A/N — Italicized words in this scenario are words spoken in a foreign language.

On an ordinary day home from work, you wouldn't stop and pay much attention to your exact surroundings. You've done this process so many times. Down the stairs, slide the card, hop onto the train, get off and make your way to your apartment: it's muscle memory at this point. And after a long day at work, the last thing you want to do is focus on the commute.

Today isn't an ordinary day. Today, your boss had been in a horrid mood, one that penetrated the rest of the office workers. None of you really knew what had set her off, but honestly? Who knows. She tends to be like that when home life isn't great. It was all you could do to get your projects done in a timely manner and get the hell out of there while you still had a shred of kindness inside you.

Thrusting your backpack over your shoulder, you slide your subway card against the slot and push through the bars. The station is crowded, just as it is every Friday. All the crowds of your city are rushing to get home, or to grab dinner, or just wanting to get to the next place as quickly as possible.

On another day, you might've kept your head down, popped your headphones on, and tuned the world out. Today, however, you come across someone who's clearly having an even worse day than you.

A boy around your age struggles to get onto the train, barely clearing the entrance before the doors woosh shut. His eyes are wide and panicky, and he doesn't appear to be a native by the foreign language he speaks and the confusion written all over his face. From the very little you remember from a single college course, you can pick out a few words in Korean here and there. Dark hair askew across brown skin, the foreigner is dressed in all black. His leather boots and silver jewelry stick out to you the most, catching even your tired attention.

The young man tries to ask questions of several passengers on the bus, but most people brush him aside with snide looks. Obviously in distress, the boy continues to try for another few seconds before sighing shakily. He finds a seat away from the others, eyes watery and nose red. When he glances up in your direction, he offers the tiniest semblance of a smile. Even in the midst of his distress, he's kind and sweet, and you can't help but smile back. You don't know his name, he doesn't know yours, but you can't help but be drawn to him on that simple gut-feeling alone.

You leave the comfort of your current seat and walk over to the foreigner, giving a small wave as you approach. His brown eyes flicker up to your face, a little confused. 

"I'm [Y/n]," you tell him, first in English then in your best attempt at Korean. At least you remembered simple things, like an introduction. "Do you understand English? Or Korean?"

The stranger's eyes brighten at the familiarity of your words. He attempts to say something in response, but fumbles the English and shifts back to speedy Korean. You catch about every other word, hardly able to put them together into a coherent thought. 

Seeing your lack of understanding, the boy lets his words trail off in a sigh of desperation. Determined to find out what's wrong, you muster up a few words you can remember. "Can I sit here?" You gesture to the seat beside him.

The man shrugs, not giving you a verbal response. You can't blame him; the language barrier is more of wall than a fence in this situation. 

The subway car begins to move as you take your seat. You turn to your companion, keeping your voice soft and clear as you ask, "What's...Ah crap. What's—your name?"

The brunet shakes his head softly, not responding. He bites his lip, and you can see his mind running at a million miles an hour.

You give him an easy smile. "Don't worry." You pull a notebook and pencil from your bag, holding it up as a solution. "Pictionary?" 

The young man seems to understand that English word and nods eagerly, sitting up straight as you offer him one of your pens. 

A laugh slips out at his eagerness and cute bunny smile that appears. "Can you read English?"

He holds holds up his thumb and forefinger, keeping them an inch or so apart. 

"A little, okay! I can work with that." Shifting back to Korean, you add, "I'll go first." Using your clearest penmanship, you write your name in legible characters and hand the notepad to the mysterious man. "Your turn."

He grips the notebook and scribbles, "Jeon Jungkook." Sure, the characters are a bit strangely tilted, but it's clear he at least knows how to write his own name. Knowing what you recall from your Korean course, you mentally switch the names and see that his first name is Jungkook.

A smile widens across your face as you take the notebook back. Jungkook gives you a small, shy smile. "It's very nice to meet you, Jungkook."

Jungkook's brown eyes meet yours. He draws a little smiley face near his name. You don't need words to figure out what he was saying: he's glad to meet you, too.

You write another sentence in the free space. "What's wrong?"

He stares at the sentence for a moment, then moves his pen to the page. He sketches a stick figure and, turning to you, points to the imagine. "Jungkook," he states.

You nod in return, letting him know you're following. Jungkook's attention shifts back to his drawing. He draws several other stick figures in front of the other. Together, they total seven.

"Hyungs. Nae hyungs."

Your eyes light up, recalling another word in his native tongue. "Brothers! Your brothers." You wave him onward. "Go on!"

He puts a thick, black line of ink between them, then draws a frowny face beside his stick figure. 

"Separated?" you murmur to yourself in English, then again in your best attempt at the foreign language.

Jungkook nods again, his smile growing. He says another sentence in Korean, hoping you'll understand, but you shake your head with disappointment.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand." The boy's shoulders begin to slouch, but you place your hand on his forearm and squeeze gently. "You're lost. I understand. You've lost your brothers." You lift your free hand to make a pretend phone with your thumb and pinky finger, placing it near your ear. "Phone? Call?"

He shakes his head, mumbling something along the lines of, "Lost."

You resist the urge to give yourself a face-palm at your dumb question. Of course, he doesn't have a phone. If he did, he wouldn't be in this situation. "Where are they?"

Jungkook scratches the back of his head with the top of the pen, giving the page an intense stare. Upon an epiphany, he quickly draws the outline of a familiar silhouette of a nearby hotel, one that's known for it's elaborate neon sign out front and for its popularity among foreign exchange students. You pass it every morning on your way from your stop to your office.

It dawns on you, and you leap from your seat with excitement. Jungkook jumps in surprise, eyes growing even bigger at the odd combination of expression and gesture.

"You're a student!" you cheer, forgetting to translate. "You're an exchange student! How did I not see if before? I'm a fucking idiot."

The older man sitting in the booth behind you and Jungkook clears his throat, clearly not amused by either the volume or the content of your shouting. If you hadn't recognized him as someone that shoves Jungkook away not five minutes before, you might've ignored him. Instead, you return his sneer and stare him down until he looks away.

Jungkook attempts to hide his amusement as you turn back towards him. Reaching for his hand, you translate the one word you know from your epiphany: "Student!"

Your new friend's bunny-ish grin reappears as he nods eagerly. "Yes!"

"Hotel?"

"Yes! Hotel!"

The train begins its sudden slow as it approaches the next station. If you're right, you can take a cab back to the hotel and be there within ten minutes if you exit here.

Tugging on his hand, you point towards the doors as they open. "Follow me! I can take your to your brothers."

Jungkook's fingers tighten around yours, and he lets you drag him from the subway car and into the hectic station. Knowing how terrified he is about being lost in a huge city, in a foreign country where he doesn't speak the language, you make sure to keep your fingers tightly laced. Every thirty seconds or so, you glance over your shoulder to check up on him. Every time, he shifts his gaze from the world around him to you, giving you a smile that lets you know he's okay.

After flagging a cab and giving the driver the location of the hotel, you turn to your brunet companion. "Are you okay?"

The Korean male shakes his head affirmatively, glancing down to your clasped hands. 

"Is this okay? I can let go—"

Jungkook cuts you off and squeezes your hand tighter. Though he struggles to give a response due to the language barrier, you can tell how grateful and relieved he is to have found someone that's willing to take the time to help him. You can't even imagine how terrified he must've been, unable to talk to anyone and unable to find his way back to his brothers.

The cab stops in front of the large, downtown building. You pay the driver, thank him for the ride, and pull Jungkook back onto the sidewalk. The massive, neon sign overhead gives a pastel pink and purple glow against the darkening horizon. You hope and pray that this is the place he was talking about.

You don't even have to ask the question before Jungkook is pulling you into a tight hug, his arms holding you tightly against him. Though surprised, you return the embrace, laughter seeping out from both of you.

"Jungkook!"

Pulling away, you see an unfamiliar man exiting the hotel in a hurry. He's taller than Jungkook and appears a bit older. His lilac hair is striking against his honey skin, and his worried expression does nothing to subdue his attractive appearance.

The man nearly tackles Jungkook in a hug before he can say anything else. Jungkook seems relaxed in this situation, so you can only assume this is one of his brothers.

Once the man pulls away, he begins speaking to Jungkook at a million miles an hour. Though you understand little, you'd know the tone of a lecturing older sibling anywhere.

Jungkook pouts a bit, then gestures to you as if offering defense. His brother glances at you with relief, then ruffles Jungkook's hair in an affectionate manner.

"Thank you for bringing him back here," the man says, catching you off-guard with his near perfect accent and flawless English. "I honestly thought we'd lost Jungkook when we got separated at the station earlier this afternoon. He'd wandered off," the man gabs the younger in the ribs, "idiot."

You chuckle at the brotherly bickering and shake your head. "No, I'm just glad I was able to help! He looked so freaked out on the subway, tried talking to a ton of people but they wouldn't give him the time of day. I know just a tiny bit of Korean from college, so I'm relieved it was enough to get him back here."

The lilac-haired man extends his hand with smile that shows off his dimples. "Kim Namjoon. I'm Jungkook's classmate, but we're part of a group of best friends."

You shake his hand. "[Y/n] [Y/l/n]. I work a few blocks from here. Are you all exchange students?"

As Namjoon retracts his hand, he replies, "Yep! From Seoul. We're here to study for a semester and learn the language. I'm pretty fluent already, so I'm here to help the others at various levels. Jungkook is the youngest, and he's also the one that knows the least. Which is part of the reason we were all so worried."

"I bet. I've been lost in my own city before, where I knew the language and could ask for help and get it. I can't—I can't even imagine being lost in a foreign country." 

"We played pictionary," Jungkook grins, pleased that he’s said a full sentence in perfect English.

Namjoon’s brows pull together.  "Pict—what?"

You wave your hand dismissively.  "A game, don’t worry about it."

Jungkook asks a question in Korean. "The others are still out looking for you," Namjoon replies, first in Korean, then in English. "He left his phone in our room, so we weren't sure where he was. I need to text them to tell them he's back safe."

Namjoon pulls out his phone, and Jungkook turns to you. "Thank you," he murmurs in English, taking your hand once again.

Attempting to hide the heat in your cheeks, you brush off his gratitude with a simple, "I'm glad you're home."

"He really likes you," Namjoon says, getting strange looks from his younger friend. The older one turns to Jungkook and asks a swift question. After receiving an ecstatic reply, and Namjoon smiles even wider. "No pressure, but if you want, we were all going to grab some food from a restaurant down the street. I know it's Friday, and you might already have plans, but we'd love to have you if you want." He jerks his thumb towards Jungkook. "Especially him, he's just too nervous to ask."

Suppressing a giggle at Jungkook's realization as some of Namjoon's words begin to translate inside his head, you give an eager nod. "I don't have plans, so I'd love to!"

Namjoon translates your response to the brunet, and he reaches for your hand again and begins to tug you in the direction of the restaurant. Namjoon shakes his head and begins to text the others to meet the three of you at the ramen hole-in-the-wall.

You move your legs faster and catch up to Jungkook's side, keeping your hands firmly clasped together. This isn't how you thought an ordinary Friday commute would go, but you're far from complaining. You'd take a group of new friends any day.

Jungkook flashes his infamous bunny smile and tosses a wink in your direction. "Your turn to follow me." 

[ltleflrt]

So I was having a conversation on Discord about omegaverse tonight, and my brain won’t shut up about it, because as usual I come up with my arguments after the discussion is over.  I should have been asleep 3 hours ago, but it’s hot and I can’t unwind, so I’m going to stay up EVEN LATER while the a/c brings things down a few degrees, and I try to get these thoughts out of my head.

I was pro-omegaverse, and trying to explain why *I personally* like the genre, and why I think even with it’s problematic origins and frequently used elements, it’s still a cool genre.  I was essentially having 2 discussions, but they were both using my answers to their questions, even though I was usually addressing them 1 at a time.  That happens when you’re in a Discord chat, and I wasn’t @ing my answers to them, since we were all in the room together.  And I think that cunfuddled the discussion and my thoughts.  So here’s a breakdown.

Issue 1. Biological Essentialism is gross and rapey.

Answer:  Yes, it is.  But so what?  Some people like pure rape-fantasy.  Is it healthy?  That can be argued either way, and it definitely depends on the person writing, or the person reading.  People like gross and rapey stories to get their rocks off.  Whether we like non-con or not, rape fics should be allowed to exist because some people like it.  It doesn’t matter if I think their reasons are valid.  As long as they’re not actively trying to harm someone, let people get down and dirty with their rapey fantasies.

Also, the whole biological imperative to mate isn’t that far off from Soulmate AUs.  Truemates = Soulmates.  Whether we like Soulmate AUs or not, are we also arguing that they shouldn’t exist because they’re problematic?  No, we’re not.  Soulmate AUs are romantic for a lot of people.  Let people have their uncomplicated, fluffy, 1 Destined Love stories.

Something to keep in mind though, is that not all omegaverse fics use the true mate trope.  And quite a lot of fics have characters with a lot more self control during their mating cycles than what you’d find in the short smutty one shots.  It’s common for them to avoid each other during heats, and only share their mating cycle as an act of love, trust, and devotion.  After they’ve been dating for a while.  (I love it when the alpha brings over snacks and water for the omega, and immediately hightails it out of there once they get a whiff of their sexy love interest.  “Take care of yourself, text me when you feel better, loveyoubye! *nyoooom*”)

Issue 2. It’s transphobic.

Answer:  This one is harder to argue, because yeah.  It can be.  But so can non-omegaverse.  Transphobia is, unfortunately, everywhere.  Exploring human gender through non-human gendered beings isn’t a bad thing though.  Cis people should be allowed to explore those things too.  This is step 1 to fighting the Patriarchy.  Questioning it.  Someone may come out of the experience still cis, but they’re going to be more open minded to trans people.  Not to mention, all the trans and enby folks who probably figured themselves out through the gender exploration to be found in omegaverse.

Now, if someone’s into omegaverse and they tell you they won’t read a story about a trans character?  Red flag.

Personally, I like the gender exploration in omegaverse.  Not just in the hormonal stuff, although I do kinda love the idea of seeing cis male characters suffer cramps once a month lol... but I like the stuff about social inequality that women have to go through mapped onto a male character.

I brought this up in the chat, and my use of the term “women’s issues” raised a terfy flag I think, which upset me and made it harder to make my point.  Cuz if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s terfy.  But I do see women’s issues as also trans issues.  Trans Men are treated differently after they start to present as male.  There’s a marked difference between their treatment as a woman pre-transition, and as a man afterwards.  And they still have to be really careful about accidental pregnancy.  I cannot fathom how awful the dysphoria would be for them if they get pregnant.  Trans Women are treated horribly pre-transition if they give any hint of feminine interests.  There’s a reason “girly” is an insult, and it’s because Toxic Masculinity Is The Worst.  And then when they transition?  Hooooboy, gods bless those ladies because Trans Women are treated worse than Cis Women on the social pyramid.  And Enbies?  Oh you sweet things, how the hell do you deal with the rest of us bastards? 

When I say that I am interested in seeing the characters I like deal with women’s issues, I am talking about social inequality, not just periods and cramps (although that a little bit too, because I wish a cis man could just fucking UNDERSTAND why I need a goddamn nap okay? lol), but also sexual health rights, including birth control, including the right to choose whether or not to take hormones, the right to equal pay, the right to equal education.  Feminism, for me, includes trans and enby folks at the table. 

But anyway, the characters I like right now just happen to be men.  I see Dean as a man.  That could mean he’s a trans man too, because trans men are men, yo.  Castiel I see either as a man or non-binary.  So if I want to put them through “women’s issues”, I have to plunk them in a special universe for that.  No one is writing Matriarchy AUs, so Omegaverse it is!

(Side note: If my OTP were f/f, I’d still like omegaverse.  And I could see lots of interesting ways to use all those same tropes for 2 female presenting characters.  So it has nothing to do with genitalia.  Unless it’s smut.  But I swing all the ways, so still not an issue for me lol)

(Side note part deux: I like to read trans stories too.  They have unique things about them that cannot be found in stories about cis characters, even in omegaverse.  And when I see Dean and Cas as men or enby, I’m not putting down people who like them gender flipped.  I just see myself enjoying Trans Woman Claire dating Enby Kaia, more than I’d like to see Dean or Cas written as cis/trans-women.)

Issue 3.  Internalized misogyny!

Answer: This is an argument used against women shipping m/m in general, and has nothing to do with omegaverse.  It just so happens that omegaverse was created for m/m pairings.  But there are TONS of reasons we ship more m/m than any other pairings, ranging from those are the most interesting characters presented to us, to--yes--internalized misogyny.  But I’m tired of that one.  Internalized misogyny is rampant, and telling women that their fantasies are problematic isn’t going to cure them.  There’s better ways to go about it. 

Omegaverse now covers m/f and f/f pairings as well, sooooo... yeah, this one just doesn’t hold water like it used to.  We just need to yoink the media out of the hands of the cis-men who are mostly in charge, and make them give us more compelling women to ship.

Issue 4: That’s not how human bodies work.

Answer: They’re not human lol!  Okay but real talk here.  This issue actually sounds transphobic to me, because it strikes very close to the XX vs XY chromosomes argument.  Omegaverse characters have intersex variations.  Alpha females and Omega males can have both a penis and a vagina in some fics.  It depends on how the author wants to write it, of course.  I usually go with the (horrifying) cloaca for omega males, and the (hyena inspired) psueudo-penis for alpha females instead, but to each writer their own lol

But again... not human.  Let wet buttholes be a thing, lube is expensive and sometimes the bottle gets tangled in the sheets, and you have to stop what you’re doing to find it and... anyway, convenience in fantasy sex is nice lol

In Conclusion: 

Personally, I only like non-traditional omegaverse.  The stuff that subverts the “problematic” tropes.  I was asked what I liked about the genre, and when I explained, it devolved into discussion of the topics above.  But I think what was forgotten in that discussion, was that I kept saying I don’t like the “problematic” things.  I like flipping the tropes.  Which I like in general, when I’m looking for things to read.  I mean, how many Castiel Thinks He’s Straight fics are there?  Not many!  So I wrote one!  Because flipping tropes is my jam! 

I don’t like Soulmate AUs, but with the proper twist I can still enjoy it.  I don’t like Highschool AUs, but I’ve read some that touched me so deeply I still think of them years later.  There’s always someone subverting the tropes I don’t like and turning them into something I do like.

And yet even though I kept saying I liked the subversion of the genre, the discussion kept coming back around to the parts of omegaverse that I *don’t* like.  I will still defend anyone’s right to like the parts of it that aren’t for me though, so I argued away XD

And? Sometimes I like the dark problematic stuff when I’m in the mood to get my rocks off.  Don’t judge, you’re all a little weird in some way or another ;D

Anywho, now that I got this stuff off my chest, hopefully I can sleep.  It has also cooled down by like 4 degrees, and I no longer feel like I’m going to melt in my sleep.  Tomorrow is going to suck, because I have to get up in 5 hours.  Yay!

[tired0artist]

sing to me (part four)

<<part one>> <<part two>> <<part three>>

paring: female!V x Johnny Silverhand

summary: a street kid V falls in love with SAMURAI music and idolises Johnny Silverhand. years later she finally understands the saying “never meet your idols”

warnings: angst and fluff, Johnny being a dick as always, arguments, V plays the guitar, MORE JOHNNY AND V ACTION IN THIS ONE!!!, references to death, badass V, more/different warnings in the future parts

note: I’m describing my V, but you can imagine her however you want tho

•SAMURAI fan V (street kid)•

V was mad. No. She was fucking furious.

She drove back to her apartment, her whole body in pain. There was dry blood on her temple and her left arm was seriously bruised.

But well. That would happen when someone is fingering some drunk whore, while she’s driving and then has an accident.

V walked inside her apartment and wished that she had that old door that she could slam. She immediately took off her clothes and went to take a shower.

Her body was covered in bruises not only from the car crash but the fight in the male bathroom. She wanted to scream at something. Or rather someone.

She left the bathroom after patching her temple wound. It needed only two stitches so she could handle it.

Then she dressed herself in some comfy and soft clothes, drank some well needed water and laid down on her bed.

V slept for at least two hours. She ordered some food and sat down on her couch, still feeling worse than shit and still full of anger.

“Why’d you order Mexican? Pizza or Chinese would be way better”

She opened her eyes to see Johnny sitting on her couch, both legs on her coffee table.

“You don’t have a say in this. Not after the shit you pulled last night” she said, gritting her teeth in anger.

He rolled his eyes “Come on, kid. What’s the big deal? I just had some fun while getting info”

That made her stand up from where she was sitting on her bed. V pointed at him nearly screaming “Some fun?! Johnny that was way more than some fun! Drinking? I can handle, cool, fine in my book. But taking drugs, in my body. Without my consent. While I’m on fuck knows what pills to let you take the control?! That was fucked up. And then you finger some chick, while she’s driving and have a car accident! Think a bit Johnny, I beg you to think. Because you weren’t putting only yourself in danger. But me too”

Johnny was silent as he stared at the angry woman. He doesn’t remember the last person who screamed at him with such anger. Even Alt or Rogue never were angry at him so much that they were basically vibrating with it. With them it was mostly some yelling and then a lot of sex, after that they were cool. But with V, it won’t work that way.

He really fucked that up didn’t he?

“V I—“

“Shut up. I don’t want to hear from you now. I will keep my promise. I’ll kill Smasher for you and work with Rogue. But that was the last time, that I willingly let you use my body. So go ahead and ghost off, Johnny”

And he did just that. He went back to sitting around in her subconsciousness.

V took and deep breath and went to take some painkillers, to maybe stop the banging in her head. Or the ache around her heart. That she didn’t know if was because of the feeling of betrayal, the relic or all the drugs, alcohol and Misty’s pills Johnny mixed yesterday.

The food arrived soon and V managed to at least eat half of it. Which was a win in her eyes, seeing how she started loosing weight ever since the relic stopped her from keeping anything down.

She cleaned up and put the rest of her take out in her small fridge, for later. After eating a bit, V started feeling better, so with a new found strength she took her guitar.

Sitting down on her bed she started strumming softly, eyes closed. Finally feeling relaxed.

But not for long it would seem.

“V”

“I told you to go away. I don’t want to even look at you for now”

“Come on, V. I—“

V opened her eyes to stare at him coldly as he was leaning against the wall, where he first appeared.

Instead of replying, V started playing her guitar loudly and aggressively. The sound bouncing off the walls, as the electric guitar was finally used to it’s full potential. V’s fingers were skilfully moving, her eyes closed as she smirked.

Johnny was impressed. He knew the kid could play but, he didn’t know just how well. Still he rolled his eyes saying.

“You know that this won’t drown me out. I’m in your head”

V didn’t answer, pretending that she didn’t hear him over the sound of her guitar.

“Come on, V. Stop acting like a angsty teenager and let me talk”

This caused V to snort as she picked up the pace, playing even louder.

Johnny was irritated. He didn’t like to feel ignored. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry”

That made her stop and let out a tired breath “Sorry won’t cut it for the shit you pulled, Johnny. You didn’t break my favourite vase, you used my body and lied to me”

Johnny shuffled his feet, apologising was new for him. He didn’t exactly know what to say next, so he said the true truth.

“I planned to go partying from the start. I thought that you wouldn’t let me, so I just did it behind your back. I figured that you’d be mad but I didn’t care. I didn’t think”

V stared at him, bitting her lip. She still was mad but the whole situation now made her more tired.

“You rarely do, Johnny. You’re a selfish dick. I keep on giving and giving. I’m trying to be nice to you, cause I know that it’s not easy for you. Sure I yell at you sometimes, but you drive me crazy. Either way I can feel that it’s not easy for you” she said quietly and out loud.

She looked down and continued “But fuck Johnny. It’s not easy for me either. Everyday I wake up and my first thought is that how long do I have, before I die. Then I go to the shower and all my brain can think about is that I’m not alone in there, that you can see and feel everything. Sometimes I look into my mirror and all I can see is you. I eat things that I never liked. I drink things that I would rather die than taste and I like them. Fuck. Even the way I play my guitar is starting to become more like you than me. Everyday I feel like I’m loosing myself, Johnny... And still I’m giving you a hundred. I’m giving you my body even if it scares the living hell out of me. And you fuck me over”

Johnny looked away from the woman who said that would take a bullet for him. Who really, is giving him a hundred.

Guilt was eating him alive. He regretted the whole thing. He failed her. He fucked her over, because that’s what he was used to doing. He didn’t even think what kind of a trust she gave him that night.

“I really regret it... I’m sorry V. I really am, no bullshit here” he said honestly, his voice softer than ever.

V only smiled sadly “I know you are. But what’s done is done, Johnny. Words won’t help you with this time. You need to show me that you would take a bullet for me”

Johnny looked at her and pulled away from where he was against the wall. He kneeled in front of her and touched her right arm.

“Well I can start with a bit more honesty...”

She nodded “Okay”

Johnny grinned sheepishly and tucked her sleeve up “I might have made you a tattoo”

V immediately looked down and brought up her arm up to see a heart with words inside of it.

JOHNNY

+

V

“I am. Going to kill you” she said, glaring at the rockerboy.

He smiled at her saying “I thought that you’d be happy. It’s my own hand writing by the way, along with the heart. Since you were such a SAMURAI fan, I wanted to give you an autograph”

V blushed red. She did every time he mentioned her love of his band and the tiny crush she had on him as a teenager.

“You have a second to disappear before I strangle you” she said with a deadly smile.

Johnny smirked and disappeared, his laugh echoing inside her head.

V sighed and touched the tattoo “The fuck am I supposed to do with this?”

Two days later, V and Rogue met up to find Smasher. Unfortunately, they only found Grayson.

“I’ve got something that belonged to Silverhand! I can give it to you!”

That made V stop and don’t shoot the man. She glanced at Johnny who was pacing around, she knew that he wanted his things back. She glared at the man asking “What is it? What. Do. You. Have?”

“I—I the... em... the—“

“Speak up! Before I shoot your head off!” she yelled with a glare, Johnny’s gun in her hands feeling like it belonged there.

Grayson jumped and said “In the container on that goliath over there. Take the access card and you’ll see”

V took it and nodded at the man “I appreciate that. Now. Goodnight” with that she shot the surprised fucker right between the eyes.

Both Rogue and Johnny seemed surprised as V without a second look put Johnny’s gun in her holster and looked at Rogue to listen to what she got to say.

After Rogue left, V went to find the container.

“Oh fuck. Think I know what it is” Johnny said just as V was opening the container.

It turned out to be Johnny’s old car.

“Hop in. I’ll even let you drive” he said, materialising inside the car.

V laughed at bit saying “Not like you got much choice there”

The ride to the oil fields was mostly silent and V was trying her best not to hit anything, while driving Johnny’s car.

Once there, V’s heart sank a bit as Johnny said “Worse than I thought”

V bit her lip and got out of the car, walking to the place where Johnny’s body was supposed to be.

There was nothing there. A cement plank and some garbage.

“So that’s how it is. Nothing here at all” Johnny said, sitting down and staring at the place of his burial.

V also sat down with a heavy heart, saying “What did you expect Johnny? Headstone? A flag and flowers?” hearing how harsh it came out, she sighed adding softly “It’s Arasaka we’re talking about, Johnny...”

Johnny didn’t look at her as he said “Nah... just... I—I don’t know. A marker?” he paused, his voice low and sad “Something. Anything”

V smiled softly at him as his gaze flickered to her. She looked down a took a piece of metal saying “We’ll figure something out”

With that said she scratched his initials and year of death on the stone.

J. S 2023

“How’s that?” she asked, hoping that at least this small thing will make his heart lighter. Or rather. Their heart lighter.

He smiled at her sadly saying “A bit. But let’s say it was my real grave. What would you write? Here lies Johnny Silverhand...”

Without a hesitation, V said “The guy who saved my life and brought music into it”

Johnny smiled at her and took off his glasses. He then got up and said “V... you don’t know how much I want that to be true. Listen. I realise that I fucked up a lot of things. Either let down or used every last person who gave me their trust. Blind, selfish dick that I was. But I’ve managed one thing for now. Not to fuck this up, what we have”

V sighed and looked away “No Johnny. You fucked that up too. You used me, lied to me... I can’t trust you at all”

“Ahem... is it too late to ask for a second chance?” the rockerboy awkwardly but honestly asked.

“What do you want from me?”

He sat down next to her, looking ahead “Most people I thought were my friends, they couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as me” he turned to look at her, continuing “You’re fucking closest to me by a long shot. There twenty-four seven. And yet... you don’t seem to hate my living guts. At least... so it seemed. Till now...”

V took a deep breath, and looked at the man “Okay... but as second chances go, this is your last. I refuse to be that naive”

Johnny grinned at her “I’ll try dammed hard” he then got up in front of her, the same grin in place as he said “Johnny Silverhand. Relentless Rockerboy Who Never Gives Up”

V also got up and shook hand with him, saying “V. A Wanna Be Musician And A Part Time Merc”

Johnny smirked adding “Forgot to add ‘SAMURAI Fangirl’ in there”

She rolled her eyes instead saying “You were a real dick at the beginning”

“I know, and you were a whiny cunt” he said, shrugging.

V snorted and shook her head, when she remembered something.

“Do you still feel like you’re suffocating? Like I’m holding you down?”

Johnny observed her for a second before replying “No. Now it’s more... normal to me. Not great, though. Sometimes when I wake up... it feels like I’m back for a while”

“Back?”

“Like this body is mine. Like I’m free. Seconds later I feel like I’m missing something. Something really important. Then I realise that you’re there, always were. And this stupid wave of relief washes over me” Johnny admits, looking away from V.

She watches him and softly replies “I have the same thing. I wake up and go through my routine and then I’m starting to panic a bit. Because you’re not there and somehow... the thought of you disappearing is so fucking scary...”

“I know, V. I can feel it, that’s why—“

“That’s why always after or in the middle of it you appear” she finished never really connecting the dots that were clearly there.

He nodded “Yeah... I guess we both, got pretty close to each other. Never thought that we’d make this far”

“Me neither. I seriously thought that you would murder me in my apartment, with everyone thinking that it was cyber psychosis...”

Johnny took her hand and looked into her eyes “I would never. I swear that I’ll keep you safe and sound okay?”

Slowly she nodded “Okay... okay. I believe you”

He smiled and squeezed her hand, before letting go and saying “Let’s delta out of here. Nothing here to see”

V watched him walk to the car and smiled, slowly following after him. Her heart feeling lighter and butterflies dancing in her stomach.

•english isn’t my first language so sorry for any errors.

•you wanna be tagged in the next parts? leave a comment!

•thanks for reading! hope you like it. I will be going through some parts of the main story and beyond. I’m planning it to be a bit longer so if you want something longer than 5/6 parts, this is for you

•tag list: @signwriting @missweatherwax @axshadows

[barnesbabee]

Edge Of Glory || C.J

Pairing: Choi Jongho x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Words: Idk but from the top of my head I’d bet on 3126 words

Pieces of lyrics from the song are written in bold

⚠ drug abuse, mentions of physical/psychological abuse (not from the idol), mentions of death and suicide, dystopian!au ⚠

Warning: There are disturbing/ scenes described. Read at your own risk.

ᴀᴛᴇᴇᴢ x ʟᴀᴅʏ ɢᴀɢᴀ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴘᴛ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ || ᴘ4

ʙᴀꜱᴇᴅ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴇᴅɢᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢʟᴏʀʏ ᴍᴠ

 A worldwide pandemic took all nations by surprise, one worse than any century had ever experienced, one that all safety precautions, medicine and technology couldn’t fight. It came down onto the whole world like a train and the population decreased greatly, along with all of the resources. 

   Hazmats became the trending fashion and hospitals became the new hotels. Everything was at max capacity, and the bodies of deceased people piled up on the streets. Pale corpses that looked like they had been drained of all of their blood laid against the walls, on top of each other, or sprawled on the road. It was every man for themselves, and chaos dominated.

    You were a little relieved, however. Your parents wouldn’t allow you to leave the house for safety, but every time you looked out of the window every deceased person seemed to be of age, more specifically, a mature adult. Mostly people from their thirties on. 

    Maybe it didn’t affect younger people? Maybe their immune system was good enough to fight the disease? 

   You had many doubts, but not enough answers. No one had answers, and suddenly everyone had a God. When nurses and doctors fled, when the news disappeared and it all stopped being transmitted, everyone started praying, ironically.

    Your parents were jittery and nervous all the time, but that was a normal reaction, they had seen and experienced the outside world. You felt safe in their presence, although seeing them come in the house in the yellow suits kind of scared you.

    Months were spent in this routine, and all seemed normal (within the limits). One day, however, you were woken up by loud banging on the front door. You immediately stood up from bed, a little dizzy from the sudden movement, and wobbled over to your door. You pressed your ear against the wooden door to hear whatever went on downstairs. You had never gotten visitors…

    You heard the downstairs door creak open and a male, harsh, demanding voice spoke.

    “Any kids in?” He simply asked.

   “N-no, Sir. We’ve never been able to have kids.”

    You frowned at the shaky voice. They did have a kid though... 

    The nervousness in your mom’s voice, the violent man’s tone, and the lie immediately raised a red flag for you. You became uncertain and shaky. Who was he!?

     You prepared for the worst. You shoved a couple things in a backpack, the absolute necessary, and opened your bedroom’s window as quietly as possible. You looked down at the previously green grass outside. It was far. If you had to jump you were gonna hurt yourself, so you just prayed that they’d leave.

     “Surely you wouldn’t mind us looking around then?” 

    Your eyes widened, and you immediately took this as your cue. You put on the black gas mask your parents had given you in case of emergency and sat by the window pane.

    “What? B-but I told you we don’t have-”

    “Ma’am please step off or you’ll be taken.” He rudely interrupted your mother.

    You heard heavy footsteps echo throughout the house, and without a second thought jumped off. You pursed your lips together to prevent the scream from escaping past your lips as you landed on your side, on top of a couple of rocks. 

   You got up as quickly as you fell down and ran. You ran as fast as you could, always holding your aching side. 

    You had no idea where you were wandering, you had no idea what was safe or not, and you had no idea what was happening, but you ran anyways.

  It had been four days. You had seen some people running around and looting stores, you had seen some people in suits patrolling, and you had seen huge tanks taking over the city. You always felt the floor shake when one of them approached, so it was easy to hide. You wondered what they were for, but then again your imagination had run short.

  You hadn’t found a place you deemed safe yet. You’d sleep in hidden street corners and stolen from beaten-up shops to survive, but you were becoming tired and desperate. Hope died very quickly in a place like that, and every morning it was hard not to give up.

  After the longest days of your life, you decided to risk it. You went into the only part in town you hadn’t scavaged. It was previously known for illegal activity and for being generally very shady. Strangely, it was the most familiar part of town. It was dark, cold and scary, just like before.  

  You walked warily, looking the torn-apart buildings 'from head to toe’. Most of them were locked up, or too damaged to even enter, but a particular building caught your attention. The windows were sealed, but the door had a chain that had been broken. You approached it and carefully removed the chain. The metal door creaked against the floor and made an ugly noise. You closed it just as slowly and carefully inspected the bottom floor with the poor flashlight you had found in a hardware store. 

   It was clean.

  You moved upwards, and all of the floors were clear of corpses. A sense happiness and relief washed over you, as you might had just found a place to stick around in. 

  As you reached the floor just below the rooftop, your eyes glistened and your face lit up. 

  A mattress with a couple of blankets laid against the wall. There were unopened cans of food organized near the window, that gave you a perfect view of the safe and unsafe areas. As you were about to inspect the food and the expire date on them, someone spoke behind you.

  “Hello?”

 You jumped at the voice. You spun around quickly and held the turned-off flashlight close to your chest. Your eyes were widened and you were frozen in place. The male in front of you, on the other hand, was relaxed yet confused.

  He had a long dark fringe covering his eyes, and his skin was very pale. 

  “W-who are you?” You asked, trying your best not to stutter out the whole sentence.

   The man looked at you as if you were stupid.

   “I’m the person living here?... The owner of this five-star suite, actually.”

   Your face fell a little at his statement and he chuckled. 

  “What? Did you think you had hit the jackpot and just found a perfect place waiting for you?”

   You averted your gaze and blushed slightly in embarrassment at how stupid your thoughts sounded when said out loud. Neither of you said anything. You could immediately tell that there was a big contrast between your personalities: while you stood there, stiff and nervous, he was relaxed and staring at you with a mocking glare. You were a little confused as to why the male wasn’t freaking out over a random person walking in where he lived and trying to claim it. It was suspicious…

    The man looked at the mattress on the floor, then at the cans.

    “Wanna share?”

    You were taken aback by the question. Why would he willingly share what he had? Why would he willingly spare half of the very scarce resources he possessed? 

    “Why?” You quietly asked.

    The man understood your confusion, most people would shoo others away and refuse to even let them come close to whatever they had gathered. 

    He walked over to the mattress and sat down with a groan. The stranger took a very poorly joint up to his mouth and took a hit, then puffing out the smoke and creating a small cloud between the two of you. He opened his mouth to say something but was immediately cut off.

   “We’re in the middle of an apocalypse and you’re getting high!?”

   It wasn’t like you to stress over something so little, but the near-death experiences, the fear and all the running away had transformed you into a shell of your former self.

   “It’s… It’s not an apocalypse.”

   You furrowed your brows and cocked your head. How would he know what all this was anyway?

    “Well it’s kinda- Can you fucking sit down or something you’re stressing me out, standing there holding that flashlight like I’m gonna try to murder you.”

    The statement stole a chuckle out of you and you sat down on the floor in front of him.

    “To put it shortly, this pandemic is a war gone wrong.”

    There was a long silence, as he let you process the tiny bit of the puzzle he had just told you. It was understandable that you didn’t know what was going on, no one really did know but the ones that had been exposed to the government’s horrors.

    “This… virus. It wasn’t someone’s carelessness or a lab security breach, it was a biological war that went to shit. A country unbeknownst to everyone apparently sent out a virus to wipe out Japan and Korea, it was speculated inside the borders that it was because of the lucrative rise and some countries were losing their economic powers over a lot of major cities. But it spiraled out of control and everyone is slowly dying. It’s much worse than anything anyone had ever seen, and in a panic, the government started doing what they call ‘recruitment of the younger generation’. Don’t let the name fool you, we were taken against our will…”

    “We? You were there?”

    Jongho sighed, his voice dropped considerably and suddenly the weed tasted odd. He threw away the joint and rested his head against the wall. Guilt and shame filled his body, and he wasn’t able to look you in the eye as he explained what went on in the place he had been confined in.

    “I was… taken. From the house I was in. They take only young people who are healthy and capable. No disabilities inside those walls, only the ones they deem good enough to procreate and rebuild our country. We… We are forced to work, they do tests on us, they treat us like lab rats and the boys… The boys are forced to impregnate girls.” His voice cracked at that, clearly hitting a deep scar. His chest began to rise and fall quickly.

    You became suddenly sad and worried for the stranger. Your face contorted in a pitiful look and you approached him, patting his thigh for him to know he had your support.

    “It’s okay, you don’t need to tell any more…”

    The male glanced at the joint he had thrown away and regretted doing so. He really wished he had something that made the conversation easier.

     “No, the more people know, the easier it will be to destroy this whole shit. Letting the world die is better than what they’re doing to us. I was… forced to make girls pregnant. I- I don’t even know their names. I don’t even know who they are, they push you into a room and they watch you, to make sure you do things right. When people refuse to do so, there’s a punishment. But I was always too scared of it so I just followed the rules. In a couple of months I’ll have… I’ll have a children in there. A son, who knows maybe a daughter… And they’ll be forced to do exactly what I ran away from. Fuck I’m a monster!” 

   The male hit his head against the wall, hard. His eyes were tightly shut (certainly not hurt from the bang against the wall, but from something much deeper) and tears threatened to fall.

    The psychological side clearly was much worse than any physical work they were forced to do.

    “Hey, hey it’s okay. You didn’t do that because you wanted to, right? You did it because you were forced. If those kids are as smart as you surely they’ll get out too.”

   He scoffed and turned his head to look at you.

   “I got out because I was lucky. I was done with life, I didn’t want to be there anymore. But because the suicide rate was crazy high inside those walls everyone was always watching. I knew a guy though, he managed to pass around drugs and my plan was to overdose… But when the time came I always pussied out. As time went by and I kept consuming I became thinner, paler, weaker… I looked like I was about to die and they didn’t understand why, but at some point they stopped wanting me there, they deemed I was unfit. They cut off my food and water, they left me to die in a room. I was lucky because I passed out. They thought I was dead and threw me over the border. I woke up in a pile of dead bodies, bathing in blood, dirt, puke, and God knows what else. I could barely move, but I dragged myself out of the corpses and tried to survive the best I could.”

    You couldn’t believe your ears. You wanted to say something, but what was there to be said? ‘It’s going to be okay’? You both knew it was a lie… There was nothing to be said and all you could do was greet his lengthy life-story of the past couple months with silence.

    “That’s why I smoke weed. Y’know… kinda takes me out and makes me forget everything’s gone to shit, drowns out the worst in my head.”

    You nodded, a little uncomfortable yet understanding his position.

    Luckily, Jongho who had been through Hell and come back, was great at shooing away the awkwardness.

   “Now that you know about my kids, I’m Jongho by the way.”

   “I-I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself, a little shocked at the way he was fine with joking about it.

    “Well Y/N, buckle up. We’re in a warzone now, it’s the end of the world. There ain’t a reason you and me should be alone.”

  You and Jongho sat at the top of the building. The sun was going down and you sat on his lap. His arms were around your body, holding your hands as he tried to teach you how to properly roll the thin paper. 

    “Y/N! We don’t have infinite weed! Stop messing this up!”

    “I- Are you joking, Jongho!? You pushed this mess onto my hands because you wanted to have a reason to have me on your lap!”

    You stood up (faking anger toward him) and walked up to the edge of the building, dancing and prancing around. 

    Jongho laughed at your cuteness and threw away the very much ruined romantic joint he tried to do with you. He walked over to you and placed his hands on your hips.

     “I won’t get high tonight but at least I was happy.” 

    You looked at him, surprised at the sweet comment. The sunlight gave his skin a golden tone and the slight wind blew his hair back. He smiled at the big eyes you were giving him, and chuckled upon realizing how little it had taken to make you speechless.

     “What?” He asked, as you wouldn’t stop staring.

    You giggled and placed your hands on his biceps, subconsciously playing with them.

    “Nothing it’s just… I didn’t know you could be cute.”

    Jongho faked a shocked expression, never breaking eye contact.

     “Excuse me! I can be adorable!”

     You scoffed and slapped his chest.

    “You’ve been cute to me like, two times.”

     “Two?” He asked, not remembering what the first had been.

     Your eyes drifted away and you blushed slightly. 

     “Well, you let me stay with you… That was really sweet, thank you.”

     Jongho lifted your chin with his index finger, making you look at him.

     “And I’m glad I did.”

     There was a small, comfortable silence before you spoke.

      “Why is that?”

      You were eager for the answer. Jongho was unpredictable, you never knew what to expect of him, so you looked deep into his eyes as you awaited a response. 

     Jongho looked away, before looking back at you and pressing his lips against yours, for a kiss that lasted no longer than a second.

     “Because I like you.”

    It was incredulous. You expected him to say that, but it was so… unexpected. You opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off as per usual.

     “And I know, I know it’s been like two weeks, but it’s hard not to fall for someone like you once you spend every second of every day with them.”

     You blushed slightly and hit his chest.

     “Plus, you’re one of the most beautiful women out there.” He said as he caressed your cheek lovingly.

     “Jongho, who knew you could be so sweet…”

     “I know, right? But then again, everyone is dying and there’s like, a dozen women out there so you don’t have much competition.”

     You two laughed, and before you could hit him, Jongho ran away and ran downstairs. Once you found him, you tackled him onto the mattress, but of course he won over you, and began tickling you all over. He’d only stop when you begged and were almost crying. 

   You looked into each other’s eyes. The dim light coming from the windows setting a lewd mood. Once you had regained your breath, you grabbed the back of his head and kissed him. The kiss lasted a little longer than the previous one, slightly losing its innocence. 

  You had never gone beyond kissing with anybody, so you were surprised at yourself when you deepened the kiss and rolled your hips against his, you didn’t hate it however. You wanted to continue. The world was ending and you were making out with the hottest man you’d ever been with on a mattress, so if there was a perfect timing, that was it.

   You moaned onto the kiss, signaling that you wanted more, but Jongho pulled away rapidly and looked away, a little embarrassed.

    “Jongho? Did I do something wrong I-I’m sorry I had never done that before and I-”

    “You were fine Y/N, don’t worry… It’s just that. Those things I did… Those girls, it wasn’t that long ago. I don’t think I’m comfortable, I’m sorry, love.”

     You felt bad for making him feel like he had to apologize for his feelings. You started to panic, but you had to calm yourself down in order to make Jongho feel comfortable. 

     You placed a hand on his cheek and kissed his forehead.

     “It’s okay Jongho, I don’t mind waiting. I’ll wait for you a million years, even when we’re both old and looking like raisins, I promise I’ll still want you.”

      The male giggled, showing the gummy smile you loved oh so much, and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

     “I got so lucky… You’re all I need.”

   You woke up with Jongho shaking you and calling for your name. You immediately shot awake and sat on the mattress you called a bed. 

     Your boyfriend threw his heavy mask onto a corner, grabbed both of your cheeks and kissed you passionately. His eyes were teary and puffy. His whole face was red and his coal-coloured hair was stuck to his forehead. You furrowed at the way his hands were shaking as he held you.

     “Jongho?” You asked, a little nervous.

     “Yes, darling?” He questioned. 

     His voice was as shaky as his hands, and anxiety started building up in the pit of his stomach.

     “What’s wrong?”

    His jittery eyes took in all of your features before smiling nervously.

    “Nothing baby!”

    He kissed your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, and finished up with a long kiss on your lips.

    Suddenly, the ground shook. Once, twice… Jongho tried to block the window with his broad back, but you could still see the shiny, shooting star-like object coming down from the sky and colliding with the ground. A loud sound echoed in the air and the ground shook once more before you saw a mushroom-like explosion in the distance.

    You couldn’t hold back the tears as panic immediately enveloped you.

    “J-Jongho what- what’s going on!?” You asked, your voice rising for the first time in months.

    Your boyfriend looked at you with teary eyes and held your face in a way that you couldn’t look at the window.

     “Nothing, doll. Everything is fine, we’re gonna be okay.”

    Jongho hugged you tightly. You quickly wrapped your arms around him and held him as close as possible, as your brain put two and two together.

    The two of you pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes.

   “I love you.” He whispered.

    And, before you could reply, he pressed his lips to yours, in what you both knew to be your last kiss. So you didn’t pull away. And when the sky fell down, and when the blasting got closer to you, you still didn’t pull away.

    And so when everything went black, neither of you noticed, because your eyes were still closed, and you were still holding each other as if the world wasn’t ending, and you were the only thins that mattered to each other.

    Your forever wasn’t long, but as you held each other and tears streamed down your faces, you knew that it had been a good forever.

[blueaura]

Don’t Get Caught

A/N: Hey everyone, hope y’all are doing well. I wrote this little fic one-shot thingy for @crashdevlin​‘s 3k review challenge. I got prompt #13. Big congratulations to Cassie for hitting 3k followers! Hope Dean somewhat likes this fic.

Summary: Sam and Dean are hunters, but what if Y/N doesn’t want to be one?

Word count : 2.9k

“What’s for dinner tonight? If you say burgers again, I will tell Sam and then you’ll have to little with the ‘eat healthy’ lecture again.” You walked into the kitchen, peering over Dean’s shoulder to look at what he was making. “As much as I love your burgers, we’ve had them four days in a row and if I see another one today, I’m gonna actually throw up.”

“I liked it better when you didn’t snark back. Now it’s like living with teenage Sam all over again. Teenagers are the fucking worst,” Dean lightly quipped back giving you a look that confirmed he was just teasing. “And it’s chicken pasta tonight, you little monster. I can switch things up every once in a while.”

“You liked me better when I was too scared to offend you in case you threw me out?” you deadpanned, quirking an eyebrow at Dean. He gave you a look. He clearly didn’t appreciate your humour regarding your rough start with them.

You met Sam and Dean on a hunt. They were appalled that a 15-year-old was hunting alone and basically forced their way into your life. Dean, specially, refused to leave you alone, no matter how many times you pushed him away. Your parents had been hunters and not the most affectionate people, so when pushing the Winchesters away had failed and they had successfully wormed their way into your heart, you were so scared that the first real family you had was going to abandon you if you weren’t enough, you didn’t dare place a toe out of the imaginary line you had created for yourself. It took a long time for them to get you to open up to them and come out of your shell. You never knew why they chose you. From what you knew, they had met other hunter kids before but for some reason, instead of pawning you off to the first responsible adult who could keep you safe, they welcomed you into their life and their home. Your home, you reminded yourself.

“Pasta sounds great. You’re gonna make me fat with all your cooking you know. I’ll have to start running with Sam. I hate running with Sam,” you whined, changing the subject before Dean could start reprimanding you.

“Everybody hates running with Sam,” Dean said, letting go of your previous comment. “And you’re healthy, which is all that matters. I don’t want you thinking about getting fat, you do enough exercise to balance out your eating habits.”

You rolled your eyes. For a guy who claimed to hate ‘chick-flick’ moments, Dean Winchester sure initiated a whole lot of them. Dean lightly clipped you in the back of your head when he saw you shrugging of his words of wisdom. You could see he was gearing up for another lecture. He was such a dad.

“Where’s Sam anyway?”

Dean clearly knew what you were doing but he let you have your moment of victory anyway. If he had learned anything in the past 2 years with you, it was to pick his battles. So, he let it go. For now.

Sam came back in time for dinner. It was one of Dean’s new rules. If you were not on a case, dinner was family time and everyone had to eat at the table. Sam agreed. While Dean acted more like a dad than Sam, the younger Winchester was just as bad. You remembered when Sam accidentally found the pack of condoms in your room. You winced at the memory. There had been a lot of yelling, followed by an awkward conversation about being safe. It was traumatic for all parties involved and you both mutually decided not to tell Dean. If Sam overreacted, you definitely never wanted to see Dean’s reaction.

Being scared of Dean’s reaction was one of the main reasons why you didn’t tell him about the play you were taking part in for school. Yes, you had to go to school. Apparently, high school was important. While you hated school and people in general, you fell in love with theatre. Signing up for drama club had been a blessing for you. Pretending to be someone else and telling stories and being on stage was the only thing that got you through worrying about the brothers when they were out on hunts. But you knew you had to be a hunter. It was the family business after all. So, you never told Sam or Dean what you were doing.

You knew they were getting suspicious. The practices for the play were getting more intense and you could only use the excuse of having detention or staying back to study in the library so many times. For one, they knew that after five consecutive detentions, the school called the parents or guardians, and B – they knew how much you hated school. Just the fact that you were staying a minute more than you had to was a big red flag, specially when you had a perfectly good library at the bunker.

You still had to think of an excuse about going out at night on the final day. While the dress rehearsal was in the afternoon, the actual production was late in the evening and you knew there was no way you could sneak out of the bunker.

While you were pacing in your room trying to think of ideas, the brothers were contemplating your recent behaviour in the kitchen while they did the dishes.

“I don’t know man; she’s been shifty all week. I’m starting to get the feeling she wants us out of the bunker. She keeps bringing up every possible lead for a case. When was the last time Y/N purposely looked for a potential hunt? She hates being left alone. Something’s going on.”

Sam knew Dean was right. This was unusual behaviour for you. Even when you were mad at them, you never hid things. Coupled with all your lame-ass excuses for staying back at school, Sam had a feeling Dean was onto something.

“You don’t think something’s off at school, do you?”

Sam knew all about peer pressure. He also knew Y/N was extremely strong willed but so was he and he still got roped into smoking weed in college. Not that he thought Y/N would ever get into drugs, specially the heavy kind but there was always the niggling sensation at the back of his head going ‘what if?’.

“She would have told us if there was something bothering her,” Sam tried to sound confident but he could hear the uncertainty in her own voice.

Dean paused where he was drying the dishes, looked over at his brother and decided enough is enough.

“Here’s the thing – there’s trusting someone and just being plain stupid. Y/N is definitely hiding something and I’d rather she be mad at us for invading her privacy than regret not stepping in sooner. So, seeing how she desperately wants us out of the bunker next week, we’re going to go out of the bunker. Find a fake case Sammy, we’re going fake hunting.” Dean managed a nonchalant grin as he went back to his dishes. Sam contemplated for a moment and reluctantly agreed.

It was 2 days before the play and you still hadn’t figured out how to sneak out. You contemplated telling them you had a sleepover or a party to get to but they knew you well enough to know you didn’t get along with your classmates. If only you could dumb yourself down enough to socialise with them. You sighed and mindlessly browsed through the men of letters library.

“Hey kiddo, we found a hunt a couple of towns over. Looks like a simple salt n’ burn. You gonna be okay on your own for a couple of days?” Sam’s voice jerked you back to reality and when you registered what he was saying, you barely managed to keep yourself from squealing out loud.

Your giddiness must have been obvious as Sam and Dean shared one of those looks – the ones you hated – and asked you if you were alright.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. And yes, I’ll be good by myself. When are you guys leaving?”

If they had any second thoughts about their plan before, your answer just got rid of them. You were never this excited about a hunt and you always, always asked about every little detail.

“We’re probably gonna leave tonight, drive overnight to avoid the traffic. So, I for one am gonna catch some zee’s while I can. Unlike Disney princess hair over here, I won’t be getting sleep on the road.”

“You know that wouldn’t be a problem if you’d let me drive for a change!”

“Hell no, I ain’t listening to your classical crap.”

You shook your head at their antics as they walked away. Finally, things were going your way.

Things were not going your way. The brothers had left the previous evening (although they didn’t go far, but you didn’t have to know that). The day of the play had arrived and you were already nervous when you heard that the male lead was sick and his understudy had to step in. You hated him. He was one of those cocky high school boys who thought they were the shit. You had to reluctantly admit that at least the guy wasn’t the worst actor in the world. Although, if he kept hitting you with his cheesy pickup lines, you were going to stab him. Hard.

Dean and Sam spent the night at a motel before making their way back to the bunker after you’d left for school. After taking a quick shower and grabbing fresh clothes, the brothers took one of the more inconspicuous cars in the bunker basement and parked outside the school. They knew you would recognise the Impala immediately but you’d never really been interested in the other cars, much to Dean’s dismay.

“Never thought we’d be staking out Y/N,” Dean said wryly.

“Well, at least everything is normal for now. Maybe we were wrong and she’s just being a teenager you know.”

Dean doubted it but didn’t say anything. They waited for Y/N to come out when school finally ended but she never did. Sam even scoped out where the stoner kids were and she wasn’t there, much to his relief. Finally, Y/N came out 3 hours after school ended, looking extra tired but otherwise alright. The brothers shared a confused glance but sighed in relief. At least she wasn’t doing anything illegal.

You went straight home and fell asleep to recharge before your performance tonight. You got up in the evening, one hour before you had to be at school to calm your nerves.

Sam and Dean were confused. Y/N had done what she would normally do on any other day. Maybe she stayed in school for a longer time than usual but other than that, she didn’t do anything out of the ordinary.

Dean suddenly had a horrifying thought.

“Dude, if this whole thing is about a boy, I’m gonna actually kill her.”

Before Sam could reply, they saw Y/N leaving the bunker.

“It’s late. Where the hell is she going? And what the hell is she wearing?” Dean’s voice grew more incredulous with each question. “If she’s sneaking out to a party, I’m grounding her. I don’t care how old she is.”

They followed her without being seen. To the school? What the hell?

There was a lot of buzz at the school despite the late hour. Confused, the brothers got out of their car and followed Y/N inside, making sure to stay a few feet behind her.

“Is it just me or are there a lot of adults here?” Dean asked.

Then they saw the poster outside the hall Y/N had just entered. Rock Hills presents ‘West Side Story: the musical’. Sam stood there gaping at the poster and Dean had never been more confused in his life.

“What the hell?”

“I don’t know”

“Seriously. What the hell?”

“I don’t know!”

“Come on. Let’s go in,” Sam nudged his brother in the direction that the other parents were going.

The host said something about the show starting in 5 minutes but they ignored him and made their way backstage. They located Y/N quite easily. She was standing in a corner, mentally psyching herself. They made their way towards her and gently tapped her on the shoulder.

You were just minding your own business in the corner of the room before the show, going through the whole spiel of ‘why did I do this’ and ‘holy shit I’m gonna throw up’ when you felt a hand tap your shoulder. Startled, you jumped and turned around to glare at whoever disturbed you, when you froze. Sam and Dean were staring at you incredulously and had your legs been working you would probably have hightailed out of there.

“Fuck,” you softly exclaimed under your breath.

“Something you wanna share with the class kiddo?”

You couldn’t make out the exact emotion in Dean’s voice but it didn’t sound like anger. You held onto that and realised you had to be on stage in less than sixty seconds.

“Uhm, hold that thought,” was what you said instead. You went to peek through the curtain. Yep, 45 seconds.

“I love you! No time to explain – gotta go!”

With that you rushed on stage, more terrified than ever. That melted away once you started performing though. You forgot all about your worries for the duration of the play. You acted, sang and danced your heart out and when the thundering applause reached your ears and you saw the brothers in the audience cheering you on along with everyone else, you had a feeling it would be okay.

You were backstage again, taking off your stage make-up and gearing up to go face the music as it were. You were scared of the brother’s reaction and even you could tell you were procrastinating. Most of the other cast had left and it was time for you to leave too.

They were standing outside, leaning against a car. The first thing that stupidly came out of your mouth was – “Where’s baby?”

Dean laughed. A full belly laugh. You felt some of your anxiety leave your body.

The three of you looked at each other. Sam was the first one to make a move. He pulled you in for a tight hug, almost lifting your feet off the ground, kissing the top of your head.

“You were incredible, kiddo.”

You buried yourself into his chest as your eyes filled with tears of relief. Of acceptance.

“Thanks moose,” Your reply was muffled against his chest which moved with silent laughter at the nickname.

You finally pulled away from Sam when Dean cleared his throat. He looked at you blankly for a moment and dread filled your entire being.

“You ever pull something like this again, I will kick your ass.”

For a second you thought he was talking about the play and your heart dropped.

But then he pulled you into a hug too. You tensed, confused.

“Dammit kid, I don’t like being worried about you. Stop doing shit like this. Why the hell didn’t you just tell us you were taking part in this thing? You’re not nearly as good at the hiding thing as you think you are. I was terrified something shady was going on with you.”

Although he was almost yelling in your ear, you sagged against him as the tension seeped out of your body. This time you actually did start crying. Dean just hugged you tighter and Sam gently rubbed your back.

After a few minutes Dean pulled back a little and put both hands on either side of your head.

“You never have to hide anything from us. By now I like to think I know how your mind works and I can guarantee that I will never be mad at you if you want to pursue anything other than hunting. You’re not our kid because you’re a hunter Y/N/N. You’re family, regardless of your job. Clearly I’m not doing a very good job at this parenting thing if you don’t know that already.”

You furiously shook your head, hiding your face in his shirt again.

“You’re the best dad anyone could ask for. You both are.”

Your words were barely audible and your face was extremely red but the brothers still heard you and grinned at each other over your head.

“We love you too, kiddo.” Dean kissed your forehead and started walking towards the car, pulling you along.

“What do you say we get some ice cream and celebrate at the bunker? We could watch some movies, make some popcorn? You know what I’m in the mood for Sammy? West Side Story,” Dean grinned as you groaned into his shoulder.

The brothers continued to tease you as you walked to the car. You finally felt happy.

“But seriously guys, where is baby?”

[pinkhairedlily]

goodbye to the clearest eyes

pair: kim namjoon/park jimin | minjoon, rating: G

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33675553

dropping a minjoon fic here as well (because why not)! :>

Namjoon glances at his phone for the seventeenth time that night, the digital clock blinking back 23:14 at him, and his screen flashing low battery warning since the 20 percent mark. He waits again for ten more minutes, closing his eyes and losing himself in the muted sound of the club on the street across and the passing honks of ubers. A ping stirs him up.

Disappointed but not surprised. He knows he set himself up for this.

“Joon hi. Hope you thought better - like before. I actually got a ride. Lucky huh. So anyway, please don’t mind my earlier texts. See you later.” Ironically, his phone thinks it’s the most opportune time to shut down, zero percent, no more warning. He softly thumps his head on the steering wheel, but his fingers are tightly gripping around it.

“I should stop this.” This is the same sentence he repeats for every conquest Jin conjures up every Friday of the week. He sighs, enraged but tired, and he starts the ignition.

Then his passenger side opens and comes in an angel.

“Excuse me?”

It’s Namjoon’s first expression. Blonde hair, lopsided smile that reaches his eyes, plump and pouty lips, flushed cheeks, and fair skin. He waves to his friends goodbye and reaches for the seatbelt.

He misses it and he chuckles. He tries again and almost gets it. Again, another hearty chuckle.

“You’re hammered,” Namjoon says. “But this is not an uber.”

The blonde man fits the seatbelt in successfully in his third try. He looks up at Namjoon, and he is disarmed by bright hazelnut irises which disappear in a wide smile. “Look I managed to wear my seatbelt.” His fingers, dainty fingers, meet each other to give himself a small, silent clap.

Namjoon’s heart is thumping. What is this is a new modus of a local gang? Using an angel-faced to lure innocents into their deaths? He clears his throat and tries to capture the blonde’s attention. “I would appreciate it if you get out of my car right now.”

Yeah, especially since I just got my license at 30 years old. Because Jin had his car towed.

The blonde is heaving and Namjoon knows what comes next. He opens the windows and gets ready to give him a paper bag stashed in his glove compartment. It’s actually reserved for Jin, waiting for its purpose for several weeks now, but at least a single piece gets to see the light for tonight.

The passenger waves away his offer of a vomit bag. He just lets his head loll on the side, eyes shut, smile still plastered on his cherubic face. Namjoon rakes his raven locks with his hand, and he decides then to fuck it. He’s in the neighborhood, he has an available car. He will do one kind deed today and bring this angel safely to his home.

But yeah fuck me too because my phone’s basically on coma and I’m geographically challenged. No choice then. “Hey you, I’m sorry but I don’t have the maps on. I can’t drive you.”

The blonde tries to sit up straight with his eyes still closed. “Can you first drive around? I don’t want to go home yet.”

This is a red flag, Namjoon knows. Far too many dreadful things have been happening nowadays and everyone is hardly to be trusted even when they have the most beautiful countenance he has ever seen. But he had too many losses this year, too many times he held out chances for someone who won’t return them back, too many hopes for beginnings but he got indefinite endings instead. Yeah, fuck it.

“Can you move away from the window so I can close it?” Namjoon asks.

“Can you leave my side open? I want to feel the cold air against my face,” the man replies. Now that Namjoon’s looking at him intently, he notices he must be in his early 20s, not more than 25 probably.

He stuffs the paper bag on his passenger’s dainty fingers (which thankfully he holds onto because dry cleaning would be a bitch) and drives towards the road he frequents when he gets stood up.

“It’s kinda cold.” His blonde locks are swaying with the wind.

Namjoon chuckles and checks his monitor. “Well it’s the transition between fall and winter. Do you want me to close it now?”

“No, not really. I love the cold. It makes my cheeks redder. It makes me aware of the blood in my body.”

“I like this season too although I’m not a fan of snowing. I’d rather walk than drive a car when it’s winter.” Namjoon steals a glance. “Looks like you really enjoyed tonight. Flushed and rosy cheeks are also good signs of life. Would you believe it’s a criteria males would look for in females they want for marriage and reproduction? Of course, this was back when patriarchy was still 100 percent practiced.”

Namjoon takes a right turn amid the dense canopy of hickory trees and into the tunnel. Now would be the most advantageous time for his passenger to kill him.

“Yes, I enjoyed tonight,” the blonde remarks. His hazelnut eyes are now open and trained on the road. “My friends and colleagues organized a farewell party.”

“Changing jobs?” Namjoon breathes slowly, waiting for the blonde to pull out a gun or knife.

“Nope, not really. I’m going away.”

Nothing comes for Namjoon’s life, and he feels the bubble of laughter in his throat. “Another city or abroad?”

His hazelnut eyes roll to the ceiling, and he ponders for a whole minute. “Yeah, abroad. That’s what I told them.”

The tunnel is empty, but Namjoon keeps a safe driving speed on the rightmost lane. Occasionally, a sports car would speed past them, the tires screeching with the echoes. He wonders if he should keep up the conversation, but gauging the other person’s responses, it seems like they don’t mind. “Oh that must be fun. I also went abroad after university, straight to Belgium. It felt freeing that time, but I realized just recently that I was probably running away.”

There he goes again, spilling his guts to a stranger at midnight in the middle of a tunnel. Namjoon’s mind now wonders if this blonde isn’t afraid of him. He’s bigger than this passenger, more muscular, and definitely taller. He can easily subdue him and drop him in the ocean.

“It’s somewhere I have to go to,” he replies. “I’ve never been to Belgium. Chocolates must be good there.”

“The roads are very bike friendly, if you’re curious.” Namjoon remembers the awe when he first set foot in Brussels. No annoying car honks, no bulky vehicles on the streets. Just people biking, in tune with nature, giving way to each other, the tiny bells ringing.

“Ah I also never learned how to bike. How disappointing.”

“It’s a nice skill to have, keeps you active, and obviously it decreases your carbon footprint.”

His passenger laughs like it’s a trill of a nightingale. “You have such a weird thought process!”

Namjoon’s voice wavers, part embarrassed, part socially anxious. He’s never good in dealing with extroverts. “Is it bad?”

The blonde shakes his head. “I’m saying it’s unique. Anyway, I won’t worry much about my carbon footprint.”

Namjoon clucks his tongue against his mouth. “You must be a mindful consumer.”

“Hmm, I’m not really sure. I guess I am?” His little pinky finger rests on the side of his lip. “But it gives me comfort that I’m alleviating Mother Earth’s illness somehow.”

They leave the tunnel and the smell of salt air arrests both of their senses. Namjoon opens the window on his side as well and breathes in the ocean. He normally frequents this area during sunsets, a few minutes when twilight sets in before it finally transitions to the night sky. His existence hovers in between those changes, all beautiful and all passing. It dawns on him that he took a plunge when he decided to drive here at this time. “Do you mind some music?”

“No, go ahead!”

Namjoon opens his radio, and the first notes of 400 Lux drifts from the speakers. The blonde lets an arm out on touches the air on the skin of his fingers. Namjoon notices this and mirrors him. The ocean greets them after a few seconds, quiet in its vastness despite the rhythmic buoy of the waves and the sound they make when they crash against the sandy shore.

“I’d like to visit many more places,” his companion continues. “Like Jeju Island. My grandmother plants the sweetest tangerines, and my ex-boyfriend would often come help out during harvest season. But I broke up with him just recently and cut off all ties.”

“Sorry about the ex-boyfriend,” Namjoon interjects. “He must be missing the tangerines a lot.”

“Let’s hope that’s the only thing he’ll be missing. By the time he’d miss me, he must have moved on already.”

The road comes a bit closer to the waters, and the wind drifts over some of the sea spray to them as the waves break against the side of the cliffs. “And here you are, sounding like you already miss him.”

“I won’t deny it.” He pauses and takes a deep breath. “I found that it’s healthy to acknowledge your feelings than keep them all repressed so I’m honoring our bond by honoring the grief.”

“Sounds like good advice.” The guilt creeps up on Namjoon, but he ignores this for a moment. Maybe he can take this bit, store it, and use it in the future. It’s good advice anyway.

“I also want to visit Disneyland. I’ve never been to one. Couldn’t afford it. But I hate roller coasters and pirate ships, anything that has to do with heights. Although, if given the chance, I would try all of them at once even if I vomit after.”

“The lines are freakishly long.”

“How much do you think would it cost if I rent the whole place for a day?”

Namjoon laughs. “Pretty sure it would have at least six zeroes.”

“Oh I thought it would have seven.” They both break into guffaws. After a few seconds, the blonde continues his musing. “I would also love to visit my parents and see them again every day.”

“Can’t you do it now?”

The man stretched his arms in front of him and wiggles in his chair. “I’ll actually drop by tomorrow, spend some time before I truly go.”

Namjoon slowly turns on a blind curve, weighing the last sentence in his mind. “I moved out when I was 18 into the university dorms, and then I got my own apartment after graduation. Most of us go through that linear phase, don’t you think – growing out of our childhood homes and leaving the ‘youth’ behind.”

“You don’t even look like 30 yet.”

“I’m flattered. And you don’t look like you’re over 20s.”

“I get that a lot.” The blonde chuckles, not bothering to hide another set of blush on his cheeks. Under the dim light of the moon, Namjoon briefly notices the redness in his ears.

“But wouldn’t it be nice to come back to it, to that safe bubble when life becomes too overwhelming?” Somehow, Namjoon also feels a hot flush on his skin despite the icy air that has set in their atmosphere.

“We both know there’s no bubble anymore when we go back.”

“I guess it will take you a long time to come back.”

The passenger nods, his hazelnut eyes leaving the road to focus on the ocean. “A very, very, very long time. I may not see them again after I go.”

He must be moving for good, Namjoon thinks. Or he’s cutting off ties. Like I did so many years ago.

“Hey, can we stop over for water? I’m thirsty.”

Namjoon spots the 24/7 convenience store on the side of the road. He remembers this is a junction close to a fishing port hence the all-around operations. He parks on the empty lot and waits for the blonde to finish buying his needs. He comes back with four bottles of water and two bowls of already cooked instant ramen. “Would you like to eat by the shore?”

Sure why not in the middle of almost-winter? Namjoon follows him nonetheless, even sitting on the damp sand cross legged with ramen in between his hands. They slurp the noodles in silence punctuated by the crashing waves and occasional noise of the seagulls and the horn of incoming fishing fleets. They do not talk, too engrossed with the hot food and spicy broth.

Finally finished, they combine their garbage in what was supposed to be the passenger’s vomit bag. Namjoon initially walks to the direction of his car, but the passenger decides to walk along the shore for the minute, barefoot, his black leather mules secured in his other hand.

“Would you look at that? It’s finally used,” Namjoon jokingly remarks about the vomit bag.

The blonde chuckles at his lame attempt to lighten the mood. Namjoon finally notices the muted loss in his startlingly beautiful hazelnut eyes, and the layers of sadness covered up by his songbird laughter, but he knows it’s not his place to ask.

“Have you ever thought about death?” The way he asked it was so blunt, so deadpan, so out of the blue, and so far removed from his lively persona that Namjoon interacted with in the vehicle.

It catches him off guard, of course. He never really delved into it, not when he was too busy running away from his feelings for his college best friend, not when he came back and tried to rekindle that friendship and connection again, not when he was too busy wondering if it was already too late.

He was too busy facing the consequences of his life. “In passing, maybe.”

The blonde walks further into the water, the waves reaching to his knees. “What do you think happens after?”

“I personally don’t believe in afterlife or in God or in heaven.” Namjoon scratches the back of his neck, aware that his being agnostic would sometimes earn an agitated reaction from people. “It just ends. You become food for the detritus, a fertilizer for the plants.”

“Lessening the carbon footprint?” the blonde brings it up again, and this earns a hearty chuckle from Namjoon.

“We could put it like that. You contribute to nutrient cycling.”

“That’s a nice way of describing rotten flesh being eaten by worms.” He turns towards the expanse of the ocean with his eyes closed and that constant smile that seems to hold him together throughout this night. “I….visualize dying as a new birth, a chance of being someone again, a reincarnation. Even if I live as a butterfly with gray wings, a disowned black cat because of superstition, a whale with an alien frequency, a deer hunted in the open season, I’ll welcome it because it gives me another day, another life. It gives me another chance to feel the cold air on my face, the hot flush on my nose and ears, the water between my toes. Another chance to meet people, another chance to fall in love and break and fall all over again, another chance to live.”

The whole monologue untethers Namjoon. It is as if the sand underneath him started shifting.

The blonde turns his attention on the sky, stars invisible behind the fluffy clouds which signal incoming rain. As he silently watches them move across the space, Namjoon follows the change in his expression, the surrender of the smile, and the explosion of dullness in his irises.

“I have a tumor in my brain. Cancer has progressed too far and too deep to consider chemotherapy. Doctor gave me three months at most.”

Namjoon feels like he needs the vomit bag more. He’s tongue tied and numb all over. He feels cold all over, but he doesn’t know if he should blame the season. All the sounds are drowned by a ringing in his head, and he barely hears the blonde come up to him and tap his shoulder with his smile back again.

“I want to go home now. Thank you for driving me tonight.”

---

Now in the safe enclave of his apartment with a fully charged phone, Namjoon composes a long message intended for Jin, his apologies running all the way back since college. An apology for not responding to his confession, an apology for running away, an apology for coming back and expecting everything is the same.

And an ultimatum of a definite conclusion – whether he can let him in or cut him off from his life – because he has spent a long time living in between.

The breakdown comes after he hits send, choking sobs hitched in his throat. A mourning for a blonde stranger.

---

“Have a taste of this.” A grandmother in her 90s offers a peeled tangerine to Namjoon.

He bites through the piece of fruit and the sweetness hits him in full. He relishes the burst of flavor in his mouth with his eyes closed albeit it’s actually a ruse to keep the flood of tears at bay. You were right, they’re the sweetest tangerines. “I think I’ll order a hundred kilos.”

“That’s too much, my son.” The old woman laughs and playfully slaps him on the arm. “So how did you find your orchard tour a while ago?”

“I can’t help but hear a songbird in the area. Must be coming from the nearby forest.”

“Ah, it started singing last year. Since then, we’ve always had a year-round harvest. He must be my lucky charm.”

[tinyanimelover]

Red Flags

Part Nine

(Other Chapters here)

"Thank you for coming in to see me on such short notice, Suzo" the doctor said as he sat behind the desk "I have good news". "Really?" Suzo's eyes widened "Did she move up on the donor list?!". "Even better" the doctor grinned "Someone has offered to give her their lung! Its a perfect match and we've accepted the donation. They've asked for it to be anonymous so I cant tell you who it is but once we get the preparations ready, we can do the surgery right away". "Someone..offered..." his eyes widened even more and they grew teary "T-that's good news doc...really good fucking news.." he wiped his eyes as he tried to stop from crying "D-does Y/n know yet?". "I figured you'd want to be the one to tell her" he explained "Unless you're busy, then I can tell her when I go in to see her later on". "I'll tell her" he chuckled, "I'll tell her. She's going to be so happy! Man...".

"You look like you're thinking about something serious" Y/n asked as she laid in the bed, eyes half lidded due to the medication she was under. "Nah. It's nothing" Grimmjow leaned back on his chair "...does anything hurt? I can get a nurse in here". "I'm fine" she managed to muster up a smile "Nothings gonna help me now anyways...". "..can I ask you something?" He asked after a few minutes had passed. She hummed in response, too weak to speak for too long. "What would you do if you had a second chance at life?" Grimmjow asked "Or third? Since this is your third time being in here for your lungs...". "....a third chance....I'd live more..I was too scared that my body would reject my father's lung that...I lived carefully...and I regret that now..". She explained "If I had a third chance. I'd do more with my life". "Like what? Hike or some shit?" He asked, wondering what it was that she wanted to do with her life if she wasn't ill. A soft laugh slipped past her lips, "No...I'd make more friends..go see movies more often, eat out...window shop......". He noted how she trailed off, eyes finding that a red tinge had graced her face "..what?". Why was he blushing? "I'd...date...ya know..find the right guy.." she let out, a bit embarrassed. His eyes widened as he found himself blushing as well, clearing his throat as he looked away "D-...dating's good...gotta experience that a few times in your life". "..no use wishing about all of that now..." she brought up "..I'm tired Grimmjow..I think I'll sleep for a bit..". His gaze softened, "Go ahead..I'll be here when you wake up". "..thank you". About twenty minutes later, Suzo came into the room a huge grin on his face "Ah, Grimmjow! Good to see you". "You too..you look happier than usual" Grimmjow said with a raised eyebrow "Did ya get laid or something?". Suzo deadpanned lightly, "No..I didnt...". "You should go out and get laid, you look like you need it" the male said calmly. "Im doing just fine in my live life, Grimmjow...anyways! I came to tell Y/n some good news!" He grinned, before he noticed she was alseep "Oh...how long has she been asleep?". "Almost half an hour before you came in" Grimmjow explained "She seemed really tired when I showed up". "Yeah..probably the meds and stuff..." Suzo said softly. "Whats the big news?" He pressed. "Someone has offered to donate a lung for Y/n!" The male let out with a huge grim, tears growing watery "So as soon as they get eveything in order they'll do the operation!". Grimmjow chuckled, eyes wide "Wow, thats fucking good news man! Even better than getting laid!". "I know!" Suzo laughed softly "I'll come by later then to tell her about it. I've got to get to work. Are you going to be here later on?". "Yup" he let out with a sigh "Kinda got suspended from my job earlier this week so I don't have anything else to do". "Now I know why you've been here all day this week..what'd you do?". "A bunch of complaints from the asshole customers" he laughed "Whatever, I hated that job anyways". "Actually, before I go...I wanna ask ya something". "Whats up?" Grimmjow raised an eyebrow. "...when she gets better and things start to look up for her..are you still going to be there?" Suzo asked as he knit his eyebrows. Grimmjow smirked, "Of course. I said I'd be here for the long run. Even if she gets better, I still want to be at her side. Sorry, Suzo. You're never getting rid of me". Suzo laughed, "That sounds like a good and bad thing...but I'm glad. Thanks Grimmjow, I'll stop by after work. I'd like to be the one to tell her so keep it between us, okay?". "Sure" Grimmjow yawned "Ill probably be asleep by the time she wakes up anyways". "Alright. Thanks again" Suzo let out before he left. The blue haired male sighed as he laid back in the chair, eyes glued to the ceiling thinking about how the girl would react at being given a third chance at life. He smirked faintly, "...tch..as if I'd fucking leave..not willingly at least..".

[theweirdo69]

Willy Wonka x Charlie Bucket

Charlies pov

I know Willy has a hard time celebrating Halloween but it's so much fun. I like to dress up and run around and get treats. Even if some will say I'm too old. I'm only 18. But I was invited to a Halloween party tonight and I couldn't wait. I finish up my costume and put my phone in my jacket pocket and grab my sack and walk out of my room. I was going as a sexy vampire and it's a girly costume which I loved. I go down to my parents cabin and smile coming in, "Hi Charlie.. umm... going again this year?" My dad asked. "Yes, and I got invited to a party, isn't that cool?" I smile sitting down and I take out a little box from my pocket and my mom served the food, "Thank you." I eat and Willy shows up and he grumbled, "I don't understand why you want to go, you literally have a whole candy land!" He said. "Because it's fun! And this year I get to go to a party!" I smile. "What?! No no no! No party! Those are filled my drugs and alcohol and ew! I can't even say it's it's so disgusting and vile and gross!" He said. "Sex?" I ask and he nods his head. "Disgusting! Gross! Ew! Who would do that with others there?" He said. "Well, I'm going because my friends invited me. To trade candy. Make more friends. Not for sex." I said. "But your outfit-" he started and I cut him off, "Is the girl version and I like it. Gives mix signals. Am I non-binary? A transboy who's feminine? A trans girl with no long hair or bust? Or just a cis feminine boy." I giggle and Willy groans, "You're really pushing labels tonight." My mother said and I nod eating and then I brush my teeth and get my fangs in. "And I'm all set~" I giggle and Willy sighs, "Please don't go." He said. "Why?" I ask. "I hate Halloween." He said. "I know but I love dressing up. I know your father made you hate it when you were young but maybe I can make you love it again." I smile and grab my sack, "I'll be back by midnight." I said and my mom nods, "1 at the latest." She said. "And if you're not we have the address and we'll be there." My dad said. "I'll text you if things get weird or cops are called." I said and left along with the factory. I go trick or treat with my friends and then we go to the party. At first I was just candy trading and making friends but someone offered me a drink. But that's a red flag. I go and get my own and drink it and the guy looked a little angry when I did but I didn't care, I knew there'd be drugs in the other drink. I drink the alcohol as if I had no problem but it really burned my throat. I grab my sack of candy and rub my throat and try to find my friends so I can just leave. "Taylor! Brandin! Sky! Bloom! Tecna! Stella! Brandon! Where are you guys?!" I shout and I couldn't find them. I sigh and I whimper getting pinned against the wall and kick back against the guys leg and run off with my candy out of the house and call my dad and pant walking to the factory already.

"Someone tried to offer me a drink, I almost got forced twice and I can't find my friends!" I said and he meets me at the nearest McDonald's and got me some and I smile at him and he takes me to the face and I eat. "Did you have any alcohol?" He asked. "Only a drink. I got it myself after that offer. I was t taking it from a stranger." I said eating my the McDonald's and he nods. "I'm glad nothing else happened." He said and I nod. We get back and I had finishing eating and he helps me inside and I smile holding my sack. Willy hugs me tightly and he smiles, "I'm so happy you're alright! Oh thank lord! What happened?" He asked. "I'm alright." I smile hugging him. "I almost got forced twice and someone tried to offer me a drink but I'm alright." I said and he nods hugging me. "Let's get you changed. Come on." He said and pulls me to the elevator and I giggle. We head up to my room and I leave my sack on the dresser. I fall onto my bed and groan, "So tired. I hate heels!" I said. "Please, let's just get you changed." He said. "Then you change me." I said. "What?!" He said. "You change me." I said. "Ummm... alright.." he said and I hear his gloves making that weird sound whenever he squeezed his hand. I hear him getting me clothes and he starts undressing me and he stops when I'm in my fishnet and panties and he sighs, "Do I have to?" He asked. "Yes, I'm tired." I said. He groans and he slowly continues to undress me and he grabs a pillow and pulls my panties down slowly and covers me up with a pillow and I giggle, "Really?" I ask. "Yes. Ugh." He said and I sit up and grab the boxers he picked out and I put them on and move the pillow and lay back down, "You're overreacting." I said. "No im not." He said. I sit back up and pin him down, "You are~ have you even had sex~?" I ask. "No it's gross." He said. "You're missing out." I sakd and undo his pants. "What are you doing?" He asked. "Giving you sex." I sakd. "But you're a male." He said and I facepalm. "For a genius you lack in some aspects." I said and pulls down his pants and boxers and licks his dïck and he groans, "Hey, cut that out!" He said and I keep licking his cock and I pull my boxers off and smirk, "I'm a little tight because I haven't used my dildo in a while but that just makes it better for you~" I said and mover over him and move down on his cock and he groans and i moan. "Tight~ heat~ around me~ it's like it's surrounding me~ oh~" he groans and squirms and I giggle bouncing on his cock and he moans and I moan with him holding onto him. "Oh~ Willy~ you have a nice big cock for my ass~ if only you weren't so shy and everything~ maybe you could've fucked em sooner hm~?" I giggle. He groans and moans, "You hardly just turned 18~ why me~?" He asked. "Oh Willy~ I've always liked you~" I smile and blush moaning and he smiles at me a little. We cum together and cuddle up. After that we showered together and got dressed and cuddled in bed and watched Halloween movies. I think Willy forgot how much he hated Halloween now. All thanks to me. Hehe~

(IIM TIRED OF NOT SEEING WILLY X CHARLIE FANFICS AND FANART ITS THE SHIPS THAT MAKES THE MOST SENSE IN THERE BESIDES MIKE X CHARLIE!! SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE FANART AND STUFF!!)

[notquitechaotic]

so I’m back online, never thought I would be blogging again but here I am after having to deal with man children and their audacity. and y’know, what better way to deal with yet another misadventure with the male species other than bitching about them?

given that this happened like a day ago, I feel like I’ve cooled down enough to try and talk about it. 

screenshots will be included but I would have to blur out the guy’s face (sadly) because of POHA

for some context, I matched with this guy named William (”Will”) on Bumble. I want to say that things kind of went well at first and we exchanged telegram usernames and started talking there instead.

(edit: he has “changed” his alias and is now “Wilford”)

first red flag was the reason he gave after he unmatched with me.

and if anything, I’ve learnt that most of the time when guys like him say that a girl is crazy or “batshit crazy” without elaborating, it’s mostly the guy who is the problematic one and because the girl isn’t reacting the way they want the girl to, the girl would then be “crazy” to fit their “I’m a nice guy” narrative.

I let the matter slide, and I moved on with my day because it was none of my business too. and everything was kind of fine until he accepted my follow request on Instagram.

I’m not that great when it comes to remembering faces but it’s not that bad to the point where I would forget a person’s face completely. So when I realised that he looked different, I asked him.

“my hair diff only” were the exact words he sent so I asked him to sent the photos that were posted on the app. 

this was the part where he fucked up lol

I asked him who the person was because when I tapped into the photo of the guy who is in a sauna, it was a screenshot of someone else’s Instagram account.

he said that it was his good friend and they “agreed to exchange photos” (honestly I don’t believe that for a second, the photo he sent is of his friend, blurred it all out in case someone recognises it)

all the while being pushy to meet irl.

if anything, I absolutely hate it when a person lies to me (because I find things out eventually) and I hate it when they are pushy (in this scenario, this guy just flat out reeks of desperation)

at this very point of time, my impression of him hasn’t been all that great, I was starting to feel really uncomfortable, I just didn’t think it would get worse (but I was wrong)

screenshots from here on out have the top cut off because it shows his phone number and again for privacy issues *cough* POHA *cough*, it has to be cropped out.

on hindsight I should have just set the record straight and say that I wasn’t comfortable meeting him instead of trying to imply it because I wasn’t explaining myself right and it just flew right past him.

“don’t you realise texting can be deceiving” and “some is my friend some is mine, I told you honestly already” are two very contradicting sentences. and again, he was being pushy about meeting.

I probably shouldn’t have used “weird” should have outright say that it was sus, but I would say that I was okay/ somewhat comfortable with the idea of meeting him until I realised that he wasn’t being honest. if he can’t even be honest about his own identity, then whose to say that he wouldn’t have ill intentions? so yeah I would say that me being uncomfortable meeting him is justified.

but this is the part where shit hit the fan because he started showing his true colours when he was being met with rejection:

“there’s nothing to be scared about” again, he wasn’t being truthful of his own identity, I think it is fair for me to overthink and be afraid that he has ill intentions and I’m just trying to protect myself. I don’t think I’m wrong for that lol

you can say “go google and stop ignoring the facts” but he can’t even try to link his sources. errr, when Dr Inna Kanevsky roasts people who use psychology to back to talk about things, she includes sources to support what she says.

again, made the mistake of not telling him outright that I wasn’t comfortable but if you scroll up a little bit to the screenshot where he made the contradictory sentence, I did try to imply that I was no longer comfortable meeting him.

he is trying to act all smart and shit but he can’t imply or at the very least, try to infer

“because it’s wrong (referring to him invalidating how I feel)”“how you feel is plain false” hello? I’m not a robot. and I’m pretty sure that there are paid and experienced psychologists and therapists, not just in Singapore but around the world, who would beg to differ with your statement. no one is wrong to feel the way they feel.

yes I did say that I would be more comfortable texting, but I did make it clear that I’m not comfortable meeting him.

“doesn’t change how you were wrong” “you are completely wrong” ok so feeling uncomfortable meeting a guy who was displaying signs that he may potentially be dangerous is wrong. noted with thanks.

(don’t ask me about the copy cat thing though cause I deadass have no clue why that was being sent to me also lol)

I rejected his call, and by then I’ve blocked him because I was too tired to deal with his shit. And I thought it would be the last I heard of him until I swiped down on my notifications  and saw that this crazy (he deserves this label by now) called me 5 times 

and iMessaged me instead because he couldn’t reach me on Telegram anymore

(what was in the screenshot he sent to me)

“no wonder take so long to graduate”

“lowlife vermin”

“pathetic”

“retard”

“bitch”

“pathetic piece of shit”

(this guy was an NUS student btw)

but I just want to rebut the thing where he said that “it’s a fact you can’t get to know someone by text”

because just based on his outburst and the way he acted and reacted to things, I can kind of tell what kind of a person he is and what his attitude and personality is like:

- he is egoistical (obviously)  “I’m a nice guy” type person, can’t handle rejection

- most likely toxic (based on how verbally abusive he was, I wouldn’t be surprised if he verbally abuses a person to bring down their self-esteem before making it seem like the person can not live without him, and thereby trapping the person in a toxic relationship)

- disrespectful (especially towards women)

- and based on everything, he is most likely insecure 

update: found out who he is, and this isn’t the first time he’s done this shit and it pains me that I can’t expose his identity

[404-potato]

I’m going to share something because I really need to get this off my chest. Please feel free to ignore this - 

... I never really talked about it with anyone because I don’t think I really had it in me to fully acknowledge it even. “Embarrassed” is the best way to describe why quite honestly... as much as I hate to admit it

This... is how I ended up hating a series I loved. And the ship/fandom still makes me cringe because of a weirdly “traumatizing” (? maybe? not sure - i hate using that word/throwing it around;;;) incidents that wasn’t really even about the fandom directly at all?  

tw: relationship mess? 

So before IronStrange, how I used to deal with liking series was through cosplaying. There was a good base for it where I lived and good chunk of my friends cosplay too or at least familiar with the community.

I got into this particular series (that I won’t name here) because a friend (who I eventually got involved in a relationship with) was REALLY into it. It was great at first. I loved the series, it was fun, we cosplayed a pair she shipped hard at the time and at some point I liked it too (I think she’s still a bit obsessed with that pairing actually). 

Basically... she got obsessive. 

It started with the little things like... very...uh... predictable... she didn’t want me to cosplay with other people. She didn’t want me to cosplay with anyone else for this particular pairing. Wanted me to prioritize her during cons... sort of made it impossible for me to be flexible to make plans with any other people. When confronted eventually (the “hey so you know I only have so much time I can give to this hobby- if I make all these plans with you I don’t have time for other friends. We can still do things together but I want to spend time with other people too”)... she made it seem like she would give me space but when time came it was always “I’m not saying you can’t go hang out with your friends but you promised this.” “I asked you first.” ... which by promise btw was her mentioning it some months ago by passing. There were other little things here and there in the con/cos world like if any other friend wanted to put together a cosplay group and asked me she got upset I didn’t ask her to join? Her reasoning was that “well I always ask you so why don’t you.” which seemed like demanding I feel the same way about her as she did for me. ... I know... sounds terrible of me & maybe I should be more sympathetic but... you can’t... demand someone to return how you feel about them or get upset when they don’t? (by the way this was way before we dated even - she also repeated denied she had any sort of feelings for me)

And I honestly didn’t recognize it at first or thought it wasn’t a big deal. I had lot of incident in the past where friends, people I dated, etc. made some... perhaps unjustified demands and I did my best to accommodate if I was willing or situation allowed it. I truly, maybe arrogantly, believed I could fully take care of myself because i always had been that one person who could take care of themselves. ... and there was no possible way anyone could ever “take advantage of me” so to say? in any way. 

Then eventually we started dating. It was casual, lets see where it goes at first. ...then at some point we were in a relationship? ... quite frankly I don’t even remember how fully that came about. (I was not exactly in the best mental state that year due multiple disasters that was going on in my personal life - terrible timing because i let a lot of “red flags” go since I was so tired to fight). 

She wanted me to stop talking to certain friends. One was a friend who we went on couple dates (and it didn’t work out, & by then this friend was dating someone else). But she still didn’t want me be friends with this person. 

...And for those who think you shouldn’t be friends with your exes or not talk to them at all for some reason? F u. Yes it is fully possible to be friends with your ex if you both are at a good place etc. Esp if these people were not even exes per se it was like people you went on a date or two with that you both realized after “hey yea we’re friends not anything more”. 

Little by little I was talking to less and less people, interacted with less and less friends. I stopped cosplaying completely just so I didn’t have to deal with her getting upset at me. I didn’t have the energy. It felt like if I go anywhere I had to invite her. If I made any plans I should invite her. After a while I was so miserable to the point we had huge fights. I literally left the apartment to get away because she wasn’t listening to anything I was saying and all her rebuttal to everything was along the lines of “It’s because i like you so much” etc. 

Yea this whole “being loved” thing to the point they want to spend so much time with you at all times may sound sweet in theory ...but for someone who is an only child (with no distant relatives in the same country), who is used to be left alone to live my life with very minimal supervision since 5 years old, needs a lot of time to myself naturally... it’s a nightmare. But if I said I wanted to be alone or need time to myself suggest I’ll go to my parent’s (not my first choice but ya know... at this point i figured she’ll flip if I said any friend’s)... she’ll try to angrily (very recklessly) drive off saying she’ll sleep at her work parking lot?? or I came back after one of these fights and she had all these scratches because apparently she tried to take a bath with wine and she fell?? ... I feel like I couldn’t even leave. ...typing this now, it’s kinda occurring to me I felt very stuck. She says I can go, I can do things, but... i mean... I can’t?? because then she’ll go off and do something like this. That time she was physically hurt, I know I should feel bad but I honestly couldn’t feel bad. I felt suffocated. I was angry. I felt like she was doing this as some sort of attention seeking... thing. 

Oh and lets not forget comments here and there about how I should let her know what i’m doing all the time, all the change of plans. Example: barely one month after I started at a new job, it was the holiday party. I did let her know I’ll be trying to come home early but please eat without me/don’t wait up. Well as I was trying to leave, I got caught in conversation by my VP and then my CEO... i couldn’t just up and leave at that point?? And I couldn’t answer the 30+ calls I got from her. ...She was pissed. Saying how they waited for me to eat, how I said I’ll be home early, etc. I tried to explain what happened. It’s a holiday party, its loud. I can’t keep looking at my phone when i’m talking to my CEO. I did say i’ll try but shit happens and I can’t update her all the time 24/7...She said she got it but next day would still throw these passive aggressive remarks. Couple of her friends came to visit from out of town, we were supposed to spend the day together with them. I was obviously tired because of the holiday party still and I muttered like “damn i’m tired” by passing... her automatic reaction was “well you shouldn’t have stayed out then.” because in her words, during the argument that followed, we made plans to spend time with her friends so I should have prioritized it at all cost even over the job that I need. Nothing said I couldn’t just leave and come home early, I didn’t have to go in the first place. ...oh idk there is something called work politics??? esp when you are a minority girl working at 80~90%+ white male company. 

Then it all boiled up to a particular bad fight where I said I need her to compromise because I’m ready to lose it... I explained so many things from above that was genuinely becoming so unhealthy for me...  How she said she’ll be better in the past but she continued on, etc. 

...lol... and the first thing she says to that is how she still doesn’t want me to cosplay with other people. I literally had a moment of that’s what’s so important to you??? SERIOUSLY? fuck this i’m not cosplaying ever again. period. Because at that point... because of the whole incident... or many incidents, I had such negative feeling towards the hobby I didn’t want to do it anyways... let alone this pairing she really liked... or the series etc.  god there was... so many more... like the time we went to a bar to have fun, she over drank even when I told her multiple times hey maybe you should slow down... She basically did the whole “drinking excess as an excuse to say what she wants after” “i’m drunk so I’m saying this” thing. So in a very public place, the bar was crowded, there were people all around us, she yelled VERY loudly about how I didn’t seem to want to have sex with her anymore. When I asked her to keep quiet, please can we talk about this elsewhere... she KEPT GOING- LOUDLY YELLING. Hysterically crying. Honestly... considering everything going on... yea I didn’t want to. At some point it did occur to me I didn’t want to have sex at all (and that was whole another level of problem considering I’ve always been very sexual person...) I mean I would have been totally willing to have a serious conversation about this but NOT AT A PUBLIC PLACE WITH STRANGERS ALL AROUND??? I was mortified. (this is also why I stopped going to nice bars... i used to enjoy them. After my early 20s, I didn’t drink to get drunk but I loved visiting creative bars and having a nice drink or two... well... not anymore lol)  Again, these are not even 50% of all that happened with this person. .... honestly this relationship caused me so much issues personally I haven’t even begin to solve. It’s actually to the point I’m considering therapy. 

But yea... sure it may not be the biggest of things but sometimes I’m very resentful I can’t enjoy the series I used to enjoy because I just automatically have VERY negative emotions about it. Same thing with cosplay, a hobby I used to be very happily involved in to relieve stress. I now have this almost... fight or flight feeling when they are mentioned, i freeze... it sometimes feels like something is pressing down on your lungs making it impossible to breath.  

...And this is also why... I started tumblr and ended up seeking company of online people who doesn’t really know me because... yea now I’m avoiding my friends at this point or mutuals with this person since... well, everyone thinks she’s a very nice person, very good for me... because on surface level, yea she does really seem like she likes me, gets me all these nice gifts etc. They still comment from time to time about how I should be doing better. Treat her better. Because if someone screws up in a relationship, given my history and personality, its probably my doing. ...Okay. any normal situation, yea I would say that’s probably true but this? this was not... yea.