#im a sorry cop to my core

[algrenion]

not to be a downer or anything but it's really hard to perform basic tasks when you live moment to moment riddled with guilt and shame without really knowing why it's there

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

the inevitable. i mean look at larry.

[wyrmswears]

young teen thena?? i wanted to draw her in a varsity jacket

[queenboimler]

WHY WON'T THE GRANT NASHS LEAVE AMIR ALONE

[saenora]

Imagine meeting your neighbor Yuuta in the apartment next yours. You were coming back home from another shitty date night. Cursing about how the guy just wanted to fuck you and didn’t even pay for the food. You were tired and tipsy and mostly angry, as your keys seem to be working against you, you tried twisting and turning the key multiple times in the keyhole to get inside your apartment. But it just wasn’t working, you let out a scream and bang your head against the door. Tears pricking at your eyes as you choked out sobs. You then hear the door turning and around the corner peeked a timid looking young man? Teen? He looked old enough not to be called a kid but his babyface made him seem really young. You blink at him thru unshed tears and jumped away from the door. “O-oh shit! This was your apartment! I am so fucking sorry, I thought this was my apartment, you see I’m not a crazy person, I swear! I just-I-fuck-I” You start babbling about your terrible date night to your confused and possibly scared neighbor you just met.

You couldn’t stop yourself though, like the tears, your words just kept on spilling out. Until your were a crying mess, your neighbor didn’t end up calling the cops on you though, he held you in his arms and soothes your cries until you were just whimpering. He listen to your words and said sweets words to you that made your heart melt and heat pool in your core. He invited you inside his apartment after you calmed down, saying “I hate to leave a pretty girl like you stained with tears all alone tonight…” He was so sweet and nice, and alluring.. your mind was a daze as you knew you shouldn’t trust a stranger but the way he held your hand and wiped away your tears… You joined him inside.

“Ah-Ah-mmm-hahh!” Now here you were, legs locked into a mating press by the boy that was just sweet talking you earlier. You were crying once again, but not from sadness this time, you were crying from the overstimulation, Yuuta was giving you on your spent pussy. “Yuuta! Yuu-ahhh, Yuuta, Yuuta!” You chanted his name like it was the only thing you knew how to say even though you barely learned it tonight. His hips slammed in yours with such force that the bed shake beneath you everytime, his thumb was rubbing circles on your puffy clit, the cum and juices leftover from the orgasms before made it quite easy for him to rub at you. “It’s your fault, you know.. hahh.. fuck.. banging on my door like that.. wearing this slutty dress..mmf.. like you were begging me to just fuck you then and there..”

You whined as you start to feel another orgasm building, however this time, Yuuta pulled out his thick cock and slapped it against your twitching clit. His arms still pressing your legs against your chest. "You want to come again...?"

"Hmm... tell me that won't go see those other men anymore and that this pussy.." He slaps his wrist this time against your pussy, causing you to try to buck your hips up, to no avail. "Belongs to me and only me... and then I'll give you what you been begging for.."

RAHHH YUUTA IM TIRED STOP INVADING MY BRAIN PLS

SOFTIEEEE I AHVE BEEN REREADING THIS OVWR AND OVER AGAINSHE TRYING TO FIND TEH RITE WORDS TO TYPE IN THE RESPONSE 😭😭😭 BUT I CANTSHDDJ FRFRFRFR… THIS YUUTA ISSS SUCHA. DREAM… NEED HIM TO RUTT AGAINST ME 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 HE IS SUCHA. NEEED AND I CAN BE SO NEEDY FOR H— BYE

#: @mrskenmakozume @kenruu @daikiiss

[weebsinstash]

(bnha/mha spoilers) i've still got attachments to the characters and still think of certain concepts and stuff for them and all that but like, are any of you feeling like BNHA is just going the exact same route as Naruto did where they spent the entire series talking about how cool heroes/ninjas are, then started discussing "but wait, not everything is as it seems! There's evil afoot, and not just any evil, SOCIALLY SYSTEMIC evil!" and then just completely shelved those discussions so the Hero could punch the Bad Guy in the face and then the series ends with everything being fundamentally exactly the same if not in some ways objectively worse

Like im sorry but looking at things thematically, if you told me Endeavor got off completely scott-free and his family still talks to him and he never even went to prison and still gets to keep his job as hero, but Shigaraki who was failed by society and literally poached and groomed as a child to become a villain while still forming bonds with his found family of other abused people and minorities is just KILLED AND DIES SMILING, I would say something like "oh is Horikoshi trying to make satirical commentary on how the broken corrupt system will fight like hell to uphold itself and this is actually metaphorical?" but nah it's just legitimately presented as a good thing and a good outcome

Genuinely? The way the series is ending is making me agree with Overhaul. If you think of Heroes and Quirks as a service or product, then tools can be invented to serve those same purposes. The way that Quirks developed in the universe of MHA is that they became used almost exclusively for combat based purposes, and to even use your quirk, which is also a part of your body or identity, you need special permissions and a license which I bet you costs money to apply for, so now you have the government regulating integral parts of people's identities, and also Quirks that change people's appearances are discriminated against and there aren't really any laws protecting against that

In a way, Overhaul was and still is entirely justified for thinking Quirks should be disposed of because the series is literally ending showing that Quirks are just being used to uphold government and corporate interests rather than actually do what's right? Quirks are literally increasing the severity with which humans can harm each other to the point it completely overshadows the good? Oh yeah I'm really glad we have a hero with super speed to help stop robberies, meanwhile the government has like a secret agent who is creating like nuke strikes on foreign countries, like... the good that Heroes can do? Can be easily done by humanity with tools

Like the way BNHA is ending is in my opinion, extremely dark? Deku was kind of just a clueless foot soldier upholding the dark government of his country and now All Might has no powers, Deku is gonna be Quirkless again, and everything is exactly the same? You could argue the only "win" that's coming out of the ending is that AFO is dead, but like.... someone with AFOs exact same powers could just be born again? Except maybe this time he can be, like, a government employee or a cop or something to really fit in with the core themes of the series :)

[mirrorballhughes]

I MISS YOU IM SORRY

luke hughes x adelaide hunter

starting us off with a good old instagram edit, some text messages and a lil in real life !! so enjoy :)

adelaidehunter

liked by stormallen, jackhughes, _quinnhughes and 115,130 others

adelaidehunter AHHH. words can not express how excited i am to say MY DEBUT ALBUM “good riddance” is out june 21st!!! ALSO “where do we go now?” is out TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT!!

its difficult to imagine these songs living anywhere other than my most secret places, but rutger is my biggest supporter and reminded me that holding space for brutal honesty in songwriting is kind of the whole point.

i feel an unbelievable amount of gratitude for the opportunity to have made this album. writing this record allowed me to grow up in ways i needed to. it forced me to reflect and be accountable. it allowed me to walk away from versions of myself that i no longer recognize. it allowed me to let go.

also a big shoutout to my sister thats not blood, storm. shes one of the few people in this world capable of making others feel safe to their core when they are exploring the parts of themselves that are most raw. storm is rare and generous. im so glad you are my roommate, but fuck the canes btw!! ;)

thank you all for the support!!! im so nervous. im so relieved. i hope with my whole heart that theres something in here that makes you feel less alone. ill be thanking you all for the rest of my life for taking this record and making it yours!!! JUNE TWENTY FIRST!! AHHH see you at midnight!! <3

tagged: stormallen, rutgermcgroarty

COMMENTS

_quinnhughes Della!! I’m so proud of you! Cant waif to celebrate with you :)

adelaidehunter QUNNIIE!! thank you. see u soon

jackhughes Adds so proud of you.

adelaidehunter thx jacks. see u soon :)

user2 this album is gonna be so good.

user5 anyone think its gonna be about luke…

user6 u might be on to something..

user10 but his brothers commented??

user13 they are family friends, grew up together.

User30 Oh ik that tension in their summer lake house is gonna go CRAZY.

rutgermcgroarty STAR IS SHINNING !!

adelaidehunter thx!

stormallen MY GIRL!! I CANF WAIT TO LISTEN ( already have)

rutgermcgroarty yeah me too u arent special!

edwards.73 HEY I HEARD IT ASWELL!!

umichhockey i think we all heard it🙄

adelaidehunter I LOVE U STORMY!!

mackie.samo are we ignoring the fact that adel went out of her way to reply using the umich account?

luca.fantilli its lemonade she can do what she wants!

adamfantilli mackie dont be a hater now, ur just mad that u missed the listening party!!

umichhockey thx you fantilli twins!! :)

luca.fantilli we arent twins lemonade

adamfantilli last time i stick up for you.

adelaidehunter NOOO IM SORRY🙁💔

dylanduke25 good riddance: said to express relief at being free of a troublesome or unwanted person or thing.

user5 DYLAN???

adelaidehunter LMAOOO. duker thats crazy

seamuscasey26 DUDE THATS FOUL.

markestapa addieeeee LETS GO?? Im screaming at u

adelaidehunter IM NOT even WITH U??

markestapa okay.. u might be

user1303 WHAT.

lhughes_06 cant wait to listen. proud of you adelaide.

user3343 THE “ADELAIDE” HURT ME.

user559 shes definitely not replying to this!

caleb.hunter um im ur biggest supporter???

adelaidehunter thats true! i love u

user34 IM GGIGLING AHE TOTALLY SKIPPED OVER LUJES COMMENT.

user32 UR SO RIGHT OH MY GOD SHE DEFINITELY SAW IT

view more…

hughes hunter moment !!

quinn: caleb just got here. now where are u della??

jack: YEAAAH. where are u missy???

quinn: jack. we arent playing bad cop good cop.

jack: i know that??

quinn: god ur annoying

adelaide: im pulling in right now.

enough fighting please.

IN REAL LIFE!!

adelaide just parked her car, grabbing her bags from her car. she took in her surroundings, taking a deep breath in and out. the hughes hunter lake house was always her favorite place to be. something about this time seems different. the blonde let go of the negative energy before walking to the door. she opened the door, backing up feeling the door handle opening up from the inside.

“oh. hey adelaide. thought u were the pizza guy.” the youngest hughes brother was standing at the door, causing adelaide to go mute. “QUINN MOVE! IM TRYING TO GET TO THE DOOR. CALEB STOP HIM!” she heard the middle hughes brother say. “here do you want me to help you-“ the curly haired boy asked, “no its fine thanks.” the blonde spoke quietly walking into the house carrying her stuff in. “ADDS!! move LUKE!” jack said causing luke to move out of his way, the youngest brother was stood there admiring the girl.

luke checked up on adelaide a lot. always watching her stories, seeing her posts just never reached out. luke noticed how her hair still had little bits of brown in it from when she dyed her hair right after the two broke up. luke watched the two interact hugging each other and smiling. luke wished that was him. “shes my sister, why didnt i get the first hug?” caleb spoke as him and quinn finally moved over to where the group was. “she likes me more thats why cal.” jack said causing adelaide to roll her eyes, giving her brother a hug then hugged quinn. her and luke locked eyes, the three guys standing there noticed the love spark that were still there between the two.

the blonde girl broke the eye contact, “ill be back down. i gotta get unpacked.” she said shooting a small smile to the group of guys who nodded. there was a knock at the door, “great timing! the pizza here as well!” quinn smiled pushing luke to get the door as he was impatiently waiting for it. addie made her way upstairs smiling trying to make this lake house vacation will as best as she could.

caleb was at her door, seeing as though she finished packing. “you okay?” that caught adelaides attention, “im fine why wouldnt i be?” she said sitting down on her bed caleb following after her. “um i dont know, maybe its because of some certain boy downstairs? who you have been friends with since forever and then ended up to-“ “okay enough!” she said causing her older brother to laugh. “okay fine sorry! but if you ever wanna talk just let me know. im here for you, a.” the glasses wearing boy said, as the two hugged each other.

the hunter siblings went downstairs sitting at the bar with the hughes brothers already digging into the pizza. “so della how excited are you for your album and song release?” the oldest hughes brother asked, causing luke to feel smaller and tense. he was there when adelaide was writing the music, she told him about some of the songs. but once they brought up, luke knew she had to have some gut wrenching song written about him. sure he was nervous, but he would always be proud of her for any and all of her accomplishments.

“oh! im so excited, but nervous. it does feel good to have it released out to the world instead of being stuck inside with just me.” she said looking over at luke whos head was low, then brought her attention to grabbing some pizza. “so “where do we go now?”whats that gonna be about?” jack asked knowing most of her songs had meaning, jack always adored adds music he has to be her biggest supporter. “its basically me reflecting back on all the little white lies in a one-sided love that beamed as bright red flags, finally leading to ending things. and the question of where they should go, start afresh or not, looms over this delicate ballad, though remains unanswered.” she said causing luke to look up and then quickly brought his head down. “oh well i cant wait to hear it! any songs about our good man luke here?” jack asked causing luke to look up and glare at the older boy. adelaids face flushed, “you dont need to answer that a. jack is just picking.” caleb said sending the boy a wtf look.

[lorelaiislatte]

Do you think there's a chance a streaming service will pick ncis:h? I've signed the petition but do we dare to hope? I'm tired of this happening all the time. I just dont understand. It was doing fine in ratings and it's a part of a franchise that keeps getting more spin offs? How that makes sense? Do you know the ratings compared with the others ncis shows? Sorry im asking you but im not from usa and i have no idea how american netwoks work. So sad rn.

okay SO i am also not from the us but have done this dance before sooooo:

1) from what i’ve heard, they were planning to move either another ncis show (i think sydney?) or another cbs show to paramount plus - which they now are no longer doing. in theory yes, this opens up the possibility for ncishi to move over there; in practice, i’m not holding my breath, as typically that negotiation would happen before a cancellation announcement

2) how does it make sense? the honest answer is that it doesn’t. like, it really doesn’t. it’s been holding steady at sixth of 14 cbs shows in the ratings (which is a brilliant number, ensures it’s profitable, and is also impressive for a procedural that’s still relatively new). it’s been beating a LOT of other crime procedurals in viewership and viewer retention, and reviewers have been singing its praises. i think this is why it feels so much as if it’s because they just view this show as less valuable (socially and economically) than their usual white guy cop shows; it’s very difficult to argue that your profitable, successful show is too expensive when you’re flying cast and crews across - or, potentially, internationally to - australia, to continue a less-highly-rated show with no issue.

3) as far as ratings go - ncis hawai’i episodes were pulling in as many as 10 million viewers last year (s2 e10 came in with 10.5 mil, as per variety telecast viewership reports) which has it going toe to toe with the core ncis (seems to pull approx. 8-10mil per episode, via hollywood reporter). for the 18-49 demographic across us series, ncis hawaii is ranking at #13 of #21 as per tvseriesfinale.com - this is significantly above ncis sydney (renewed, #15), and elsbeth (#19, renewed), two other cbs shows, one of which in particular is incredibly expensive. crucially, ncishi has actually increased its viewership, which is VERY difficult to do on a year to year basis. its up by 4.18% among 18 to 49 year olds - for comparison the core NCIS is down 0.83% and fbi international - a competing show - is down by 3.73%. bear in mind that even a single percentage point represents hundreds of thousands of viewers.

i also want to point out that ranking at #13 isn’t strictly representative of viewer numbers, it’s about percentage of viewers that are within that core age bracket. the neighbourhood is ranking at #6, but only pulling in 4.8 million viewers - ncishi is at #13, and pulling in 5.2 million. ncishi pulls in over half a million more viewers than four shows ranked above it in that chart.

so essentially - it doesn’t make sense. from any perspective. it doesn’t make sense from a business perspective (ncis sydney is more expensive to produce and brings in approx. 200k less viewers than ncishi, and ncishi crew had already agreed to a shortened, budget-restrained final season), it doesn’t make sense for a ratings perspective (it continues to outperform many of cbs’ own shows, including ones that have been renewed), it doesn’t make sense from a social perspective (people are loving it, even outside of our fandom spaces).

objectively, it’s a really, really bad move by cbs. i also thought being part of a franchise would be a kind of safety net - fool me once, i guess. all the evidence suggests that they just don’t care enough about ncishi, especially when they’ve got their bullshit white guy ncis origins show, a young sheldon spinoff (?? who asked?) and a plethora of other cookie-cutter shows they can just keep going with. and we can make a pretty educated guess as to why, when the main things that set ncishi apart from the other ncis shows are its diversity and character dynamics

(edit: it was pointed out that people aren’t being flown to sydney from the us, which is true, and bad phrasing on my part - but many are flown across australia at seemingly similar costs to mainland us/hawai’i flights, and i believe not all of the leads are based in australia either, so i’ve updated that bit for clarity. apologies!)

[moonpaw]

Hey, it’s been a long time since I’ve read any MHA, I stopped at volume 25 after coming to the conclusion that the series’s core messages are “if you’re having trouble following your dreams due to your disability, just stop being disabled” and “it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you’re a cop you’re a good person”, which made it just feel like superhero Harry Potter to me and made me lose interest, but. I really respect you and your opinions on One Piece, and you still seem to both like and make (some) content for MHA, that and considering the series has continued to run since I stopped reading, well. I was wondering if I should try and get back to it sometime. I wanna know if there something I just missed or misinterpreted some stuff, if it’s worth reading regardless, or better yet if the series subverted either of those messages.

are you wanting me to convince you about bnha? i'm sorry to say but i haven't um. been caught up to it at all since before the my villain academia arc

i've really lost interest in the series since it diverted most of its attention away from izuku in favor of the todorokis and bakugou pretty much taking up some dadmight time

and then with the whole war thing still going on im just *waves hand in air* well. whatever

i do want to get back into it? yes of course, i have a fic that i'd seriously wish to continue and finish, but hrmmm, i don't know! i'm not the best person to ask about this, i hardly know what's even going on in bnha anymore

‎

[raccoonfallsharder]

FYI, there's actually a transcript for the Guardians game! It's only up to Chapter 9 at the moment, but there's still a lot of optional stuff in there you probably didn't get to see!

https://marvels-guardians-of-the-galaxy.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Scripts

Not sure if I missed it, but what were your opinions on the game overall? Did you think the game did some things better than the MCU or vice versa?

hello you darling lil lightning bug. i am sorry for my delayed response — i totally forgot about my inbox for a hot minute. sincerest apologies. i am going to consume this transcript as soon as i can. thank you so much for sharing!!!!

i don’t know that i have a lot of opinions about things the game or the movie did “better.” i think they were both really amazing new interpretations of the source material. i think the game pulled more directly from the comics but i don’t think that’s good or bad — just interesting. i will say that the game had the more likable peter quill imo (mcu quill infuriates me. imagine saying “wow i know im an ass but it really distresses me when you call me X, which i interpret as deeply negative” and your friend is like “fuck you im gonna call you it anyway, especially weaponizing it when im mad” — ditch that friend bby)

anyway, i really enjoyed the story in both. i appreciated that they both had detailed backstories for all their characters and seemed to understand their characters really well, and that those stories were unique to their respective incarnations but stayed true to the core spirit of the characters, if that makes sense.

i hope that doesn’t feel like a cop-out answer but genuinely i’m just grateful for having multiple injections of quality content about my fave characters. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe i’ll have more thoughts when i read the transcript! in the meantime i would love to hear your thoughts too ♡♡♡

[goitale]

ARCANE S2 THEORIES???? PLEASE I BEG I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT

i shall happily share my own theories (more accurately my dad's because he knows more about league than i ever will) if prompted but WHAT ARE YOURS 👀👀👀

IDRK MUCH ABT ARCANE AND LEAGUE AS A WHOLE but im gonna COOK just u wait :3

also sorry for inconsistent Þ use im tired and þe auto þing is funky tonite

okay ima be forreal idk where the plot is going. i did NOT focus on the plot at all when watching it. cause some blue haired girl with two names and insane ideas is WAY MORE the center of focus , with how she views the world and her dynamics with people she used to trust ultimately being one of the core gears of how the series plays itself.

but first. i want to mention how the kind of vibe/aesthetic of the characters mean þings. þe way vi, ekko and jinx have a more spraycan-esque styles cause þey all grew up togeþer, but eventually ekko lives in a stray (the game)-like world of wonder and vi only holds herself as þat more neon criminal ish (IDFK WHAT ANYTHJNG IS BTW. could say punk and id not understand, empathing is hard :(((() rlly makes her stand out from jinx's ABSOLUTE MESS of a brain. like it takes form literally, visually, how she's messed up.

but why do i point out, þeir lives and styles? WELL!!!! someþing i learnt is þat styles of characters in þis world often predict and keep characters intertwined... so vi and jinx OF COURSE have to get along someday, ekko OF COURSE has to find reason wiþin himself to trust jinx (for better or for worse) and OF COURSE cait doesnt get along wiþ anyone cause like shes a literal cop who probably spent many years wiping graffiti spraypaint off concrete. WHICH IS WHY CAITVI IS SO HARD TO DEVELOP, BUT SO SOSOSOSOSO GOOD!!! cait learning to understand þe underneath or wtvs' pov is SO MAJOR plotwise but also style-wise. when she meets her family again shes a mess physically. she's all dirty n stuff and kind of adopts how vi dresses, just assuming þe way of life cause she GETS IT!!!! which is also why jinx does NOT assume mr emo..ok i forgot his name . þe guy þat made þe purple stuff. she doesnt assume his style CAUSE JINX IS NEVER GONNA BE HIM!!! and nor was she like her oþer faþer! ngl all þe kids, and ekko like a cousin- þey all had þis kinda like, cool criminal, dystopian idk im throwing words out here. but rhey were all similar., but ngl i forgot his name but vi and the otbers' adoptive father, was more similar to emo purple eye man with vibes. and tbejr similarities, growinf up where they did- thats essentially what made rhem siblings. and THAT. NEVER. LEAVES!!!!! its what defines people in þeir spaces, þeir culture- and its what makes arcane sososososos scrumptious and diverse!!!!

tl;dr idk how aesthetics work and im a yapper...

and þats why, caitvi is so oddly similar to jesstra, and why vi and jinx will never not be sisters. :3

ty for þe ask!

[cyberdragoninfinity]

Is it okay to ask how the rest of the 5ds cast is doing ij not-kansas? I love seeing your takes on how characters would work on it!

YESS totally cool to ask! AND, WELL. TECHNICALLY. THERE ARE SOMETIMES, MULTIPLE VERSIONS OF THE 5DS CAST ON THE TABLE depending on the day/the context/etc :,) see when i started the college AU it was just for gx, as we know, and I thought it'd be funny to slip other ygo characters in for fun, and at the time i was like "it'd be funny to have the 5ds characters there but theyre just like. in their 30s just in the background, chilling," because i wasnt especially invested in them yet/straight up thought i was gonna think 5ds was 'just ok' <---CLUELESS. 😐

Anyway so the 'main' version of the 5ds cast really are just some cool thirtysomethingish year old biker friends. Yusei and Crow both work at a local car repair shop (same auto shop where Syrus and Anna both work as receptionists lol); they and Jack and Kalin are from Satellite, Kansas (real shithole of town)! Crow does a bunch of volunteer work working with LGBT kids and teens, and also is a frequent participant in the Not-Lawrence Queer Birding Group's meetups. Yusei goes to protests and keeps a bunch of shitty project cars on his front lawn and it rules. Akiza works at the Home Depot Garden Center. Jack and Carly live together and Carly runs a blog that is moderately ("moderately") successful :^) Jack works here

with this guy

i go back and forth with leo and luna... with this iteration of the team i picture them late teens-early 20sish, leo also works at Home Depot and Luna is a vet tech ❤

but also SOMETIMES if im thinking about my pizza AU just as its own standalone thing, then there's slightly different version of team 5ds on the field, a little younger, mid-late 20s-ish--I think in that version of the setting I was playing around with making Jack a food critic?? Which is still VERY funny imo. And the twins are kids that live in the rich neighborhood Aporia used to live in (and where he accidentally hit Leo with his car.) (LEO WAS FINE. FOR THE RECORD.) But then sometimes also I'll just have Bruno go deliver pizzas to the auto shop and hit it off with 33 year old Yusei or whatever. IT'S VERY LOOSEY GOOSEY SORRY DHFGFG. MEOW WOLF TYPE RULES pizza AU is simultaniously it's own dimension and also a core component of the not-lawrence not-kansas dimension (really absolutely obsessed with Not-Kansas too btw)

regardless of which versions i happen to be thinking about kalin nonetheless has fucked off to Dodge City, Kansas to repent for probably almost killing a cop. Dodge City is probably the most soul sucking cowboy themed town i have ever been too it's a pretty good Crashtown equivalent 🏜

[minalblood]

I'm back and I'm so sorry! I won't make any promises for the last 2 ep of the Winchesters, but I will be reviewing/rewatching them anyways just ... who knows when, I dont!

But let's get started on You've got a Friend 1x11.

I hopefully will be a bit less rambly since O have a draft of my thoughts already written for this and its less... as Im watching (i can post that too if yall wanna but dunno if ull understand my handwriting)

We begin where we left off and I love that we have this scene of them needing to clean up, adds realism, adds dimension to the world. Love also that we begin with Lata being the Lata we all love - dejected in this case about her chimera paw was ruined. Queue Carlos with the teasing. The 2 of em banter a bit before Mary redirects us all to the matter at hand.

And Mary has come a long way in these episodes, because she may not join the banter (still closed off somewhat as opposed to Carlos and Lata's easy repartee) but she is going off of it and adding them into her area of interest.

But all stops when John come in blood soaked and in shock - Mary instantly worried he might be hurt, but nope, not this time.

I am so happy to see them portray the actual shock and numbness John is feeling, then the guilt and sadness, just all the reaction to Kyle's death really. And considering the survivor's guilt John is lugging around, it makes it even more heartbreaking. I also love seeing that Mary is the level headed one here - she,.imo, is clearly pushing down the grief to focus on John's issues here, hell we see very little of her grieving in this episode and everytime we do, she's quick to redirect that feeling into action - sometimes into violence point blank. She does it here, asking what the Akrida could want, she does it even moreso with Millie, where she does open up a bit since Millie is offering comfort, but then it turns into Millie coming with a plan which directly leads to Mary wanting to storm the police station guns blazing and the ep ends with Mary and John discussing Kyle (also god Mary looks absolutely exhausted here, fuck) but Mary derails it by saying they need to find Dean instead. She's def not allowing herself the moment to deal with Kyle's death which may prove relevant when discussing next episode.

I'd forgotten this ep was the Lata episode. Like ep 8 was Carlos', this one is Lata's. And god does it hurt.

1st, move the feather boa, Carlos!

2nd, I do genuinely believe Lata and Maggie were together. Everything in this episode points that way to me (but especialy the sweetpea nickname) We'll round back to this though.

The other thing we note in the sequence in Maggie's room is how close Carlos and Lata are to each other. Which we knew, but I always love seeing it again in action.

Before we continue with the emotional core of this ep, we have to get back to plot with Betty! I love Betty..I also can't blame her for being ....hesitant to say the least. Like imagine what she's seen so far: the guy who, before leaving to the marines illegally, proposed to her, is suddently interacting with, apparently, imfamous Mary Campbell, who is seen at several murder/investigation scenes suddenly appears ro have killed someone? And she already knows John had anger issues before hand. Like i get her here. And still shes trying to be nice while doing her job.

Which leads me to the next part, her job. So the detective... he's wording (even with him being really Akrida) echoes a lot of corrupt cop rethoric which only gets further emphasized when he later threatens to have John... killed 'accidently'. And, on top of them, speaking pf policw corruption even a 'good cop' like Betty becomes complicit simply because of the power the Akrida gained via the detective role cuz she was unwittingly helping them throughout.

But god, was John a bit too cocky here. (My notes have this marked as "this is why you let villains monologue, John!"). Especially since he actually doesn't have any info on Dean. (Love that we see the pic of Dean, missed him) l.

Meanwhile Lata and Carlos have found the bracelet and it's fucked them over. Also, I fucking hate the shadows thing, very creepy. Also also it reminds me of the daeva that Meg uses in s1 of SPN. I'm also reminded of SPN with the story the detective tells John about how they'll get rid of him - SPN's own crooked cop ep featured exactly this sorta plan too, but in killing Dean.

Really though, the main thing I found interesting upon rewatch is just how much Lata is our Dean mirror in this one. Specifically, in getting targeted by the bracelet she's forced to relive a trauma (Sania's death) via Carlos acting as substitute, only this time she succeeds where prior she thought she failed (which lemme make clear, no, Lata was at no point and in no way at fault, but she did internalize that guilt - much like Dean tends to internalize guilt) . Which Dean, much like Lata ends up doing when getting involved with this universe, ends up reliving a trauma (his parents death - Mary especially) of something he failed, in his mind, to prevent/save via rescuing this universe's Mary. And much like Lata, who can't undo what happened to Sania, but can "begin to make it better" (the Hey Jude line just hit me so I had to use it), so too can Dean. It won't change what happened in his life, wont save his mom, but it will help him heal nonetheless.

Adding to this Maggie? Who opperates as a Cas parallel here - she was Lata's person, who shared everything with Lata but Lata couldn't in turn for fear of judgement/shame, who notably is dead and thus Lata can't ever reveal her secret to. Well, it hurts is what it does.

But watching this I noticed another interesting thing though, for all that the bracelet seems to work like Osiris (pulling on the guilt the person feels is most agregious), the bracelet actually seems to want the wearer to get out. Carlos is taken just as Lata begins wondering which secret it's trying to make her face and is sent to Sania's room - direct answer. Then later,.even more blatant, using Maggie's face, tries to get Lata to disclose the secret, but Lata talks around it instead til the creature takes her too.

It seems like Erebus had a test for his warriors, one he wanted them to win.

Throughout all of Lata's story, I was seething. I truly hate her family and Carlos was 100% saying exactly what I was thinking.

Another thing I appreciated though, about Carlos, is the emotional maturity. Yes they were dying and yes it was urgent that Lata disclose her secret but Carlos made certain to reassure her throughout. Tried to give her as much space as possible.

In other thoughts, Lata's mom making that "vs family" distinction, uuuh it rattled sth in me only to them have Lata say "my parents would never look at m the same way"? In the Dean Winchester show? God, the echoes of John's shitty parenting were deafening. Bur yes to eveything Carlos said. It truly wasnt Lata's fault.

And I adore also the ending conversation between Lata and Carlos (both wearing blue and god I want Carlos' coat) because yes, this kind of stuff shouldn't be forced out on anither persons whim. Lata doesn't have to tell John and Mary anything, it is her story to tell, but also yes, Carlos is right to reassure her that if she wants to share it with them, they'll likely react well like he did. And yes the reason this particular scene hit so hard is partially personal, but because of that it drove me insane in SPN where there was a tendency for people to push other to open up at their own whim (and yes, Sam did it often to mutiple people, hounding them until they cracked and spilled whatever trauma they were trying to deal with but then have nothing to give in return, no comfort or even really reaction, and yes he most of all did it to Dean a lot and it did puss me off) So yea, love this episode for the Lata and Carlos of it all!

Also I have a few questions, when Millie was trying to convince Betty about the supernatural, at one point she said "it's not like-" and cut off. She was trying to defend against the accusation of 'playing make believe). Also, Betty says sth like "Mary, I expected.this from" with relation once more to her not believing in monsters soooo.... has Mary ever been taken in under suspicion of being delusional? Was Millie? Or John?! I've questions ok i need y'alls opinions on this one.

Also, I would've soo cracked if the Akrida asked about Dean, cuz I def miss him a lot and id fucking gush about him at that point.

Anyways, that's it for this one. See you guys next time where we'll be clowning (have I mentioned I hate clowns?)

@noybusiness thanks for push earlier this month, i needed that a lot and thanks for the support for this rewatch ❤

@shallowseeker thanks the new posts, been inspiring me to get back to writing this ❤

[bentosandbox]

I think that majority of players don’t even know that chen is one of the main character in game that it’s sad. I see a lot of people complaining about her appearing in stories after reunion arc even though her screen time is already a lot less than amiya and kaltsit… I think yj already forgot about the main characters concept lmao but her getting new outfit at different region is cool i guess but why are those outfits so weird- (sorry this is just my personally ranting…

true! before I go on my own ramble everyone else can scroll down to the bottom for (unconfirmed??) ten thousand mountains lore/trivia

i have a feeling this image is somehow related to your ask LMFAO...

actually... have they mentioned the whole 'kaltsit = past, chen = present, and amiya = future' thing outside of CN or did i dream this i feel like they said it somewhere...i can kind of see how people would think amiya is the only protag seeing as there are people who unironically think the doc is the (sole/main) protag and chen/kal acting so antagonistic early on probably didnt help lol

2. yea its sad but as always if chen has 1 morbillion fans i am one of them if she has one im that 1 fan etc drinking their salty tears 🫡🫡🫡

3. uhhh went on a little costume design ramble sorry. my outfits copium is basically telling myself she's really getting the 'dad who does not really understand fashion buying(designing) clothes for child' treatment anime-style (like what can i say other than point to the night and day difference of dossoles chummer e2 fit vs the ice cream collab fit)

i have my personal nitpicks for every outfit but (looks at gavial2 summer skin) a 8.8 is so much better than a...nvm i'll refrain from grading. but for all the nits i pick i think they still pass the baseline of costume design because of the storytelling they do

base chen: cop who likes to yolo a bit too much, leave that one button undone so roll up her sleeves, give her gloves, give her a walkie talkie/earpiece etc, e2 makes that jacket even bigger and has that yummy rhodes teal

CNY skin: still of the opinion/hc that its the dress fumizuki mentioned which is why she looks like shes wearing it grudgingly, it has shorts though at least !!

chummer: shes (trying to be) on a holungday so bring back her epic tourist c cap and make her existing recognizable jacket more summer-y, also the duck heart emoji

victorian arc: cop sideclass(?) to sheriff detective or something, embracing her cringe but free era by leaving her collars up now has the sense to tuck in her shirt and wear actual pants, better coverage against the elements etc etc thank terra nevermind the fact theyre so tight fitting this is just like khr also she looks flatter in the animated PV smile i'm reminded of a wb comment that went sth like 'why are you dressing like this when youre already 30' on this fit and shes not explicitly 30 etc etc but i really like the 'chuuni(cringe but free) at 30' vibe

yumen: passing-by traveler with the cape!!! 👍👍👍👍👍👍 i really like how it looks in the cg lol with the thinner/darker stripes on the outside, ngl no fucking idea what that green box is but i appreciate chen still having a little green and yellow on her outfit, the shortness of the dress? bothered me at first but ive come to the terms that chen is a shorts enjoyer so

10k mountains: youxia-core with the hat and cape👍👍👍👍👍👍 and keeps the plastic part from chummer jacket as well as the checkers (i think they were zips but you know, the black and white alternating…lol remember how her current thing is supposedly dealing with the reality of being grey or whatever as little sense as that makes. we are in full hc territory here but its so much better than adding another 20 belts) the heels dont exist to me though

like idk it's not even a high bar honestly just nail down the role/silhouettes first before adding your morbillion belts/fanservice 😭 looking at a certain bunch of characters anyway this is why swire has the best track record for outfits 1/? ill stop here before i start tambling about her summer drip

anyway everyone should look at this Canon(as in camera brand not the other meaning) ad ft. real cormorant im convinced they got the designs from HG early because they dropped a photoshoot ~bout a week after the 4anni livestream and they got the 2hu-style sleeves right that you can never see unless you look at the sprite sheet, uh

wait what's this on the back

oh its from a poem wait whys that so famili

just going to link some translations/explainers of the poem i think but you can also look up '涼州詞 王之渙 + english translation' or something for more there's quite a few

[cyberrgirlsblog]

candle ligth part 3

sorry for the LONG ASS wait like fr, idk how many ppl read this but yea . the hole thing ive written is dead ass like 29,000 words or some shit like that, i got carried away.

Part 3

(TW) cussing, mentions how a dead body looks

Not beta read!!!!!!!

1929, 3 weeks before the planned assassination. And 7 weeks since (y/n) and duke last saw eachother

“What the fuck” I said looking down at the front steps of my house, my hand covering my mouth in shock and horror. I look down to find the body of a dead boy in front of my door.

“First day living in small heith and this is the shit that happens I mean like the fuck. I don't know who sent that and who that person was but that's fucked up man.” I said my voice breaking while paseing around my room, my hands shaking. Ash was sitting on my bed listening to me tentatively. Fez would've been here if it wasn't for him going to visit his girlfriend Lexi in the USA for the week. Even though I was talking about this like it was an everyday occurrence it still shook me to my core. It was unnerving.

“You think it's got something with us working more closely with the peaky,” Ash said, looking at me. I called him as soon as it happened along with Tommy but his maid picked up saying he was out but she would let him know when he came back. I looked at Ash and nodded.

“Maybe, I mean it's the most probable option. But we still got a body to deal with. I mean if we call the cops what the hell do we do about this shit." I said while I paced around my room. As the old boards creaked under my feet.

“If we call the fucking cops Fez will kill us Don't be a dumb ass. Look, we take the body and put it in an incinerator. Pay the workers to keep their mouths shut and we'll see what happens.” Ash said before lighting a cigarette. He offered me one but I declined.

“Yea but should we figure out who the dude is? I mean I'm already in enough shit with fez. Dude barely even lets me leave the house without someone he knows coming with me.” I said sitting down next to Ash, letting my head fall back into the wall, and sighing. 

—-----------3rd person pov

Since you went to the carnival fez has been more on edge about trusting you. Thinking back on it you should have asked Ada to be an alibi for you if Fez ever called her about your where abouts. She told him she was at her house and didn't even know about a carnival happening. Fez was pissed when he found out that you had lied to him. But you also hated how there was a double standard when it came to you and Ash. He could go out for hours and not even come home for days and Fez is rarely ever worried but if you leave and don't come home before night time all of a sudden you have Fez and his friends looking for you. You hated how he acted but a small part of you understood why.

—-----

When you were 11 you and Ash went to the bank to withdraw the money your grandma had not yet withdrawn. You and Ash got separated, Ash came home crying telling Fez how someone had grabbed you and taken you away. The man was someone who worked with Mouse and your older brother hadn't paid the fair amount that he was supposed to for some of the product that was bought from Mouse.

Mouse took you and locked you up in a room in some house that looked like it was a personal haven for rats to stay in. It wasn't till a couple of hours later that a bag was put over your head and you were retired back to Fez, Ash, and your grandma.

Ever since then, Fez has been paranoid about you, and it would be a lie to say those events haven't affected you in any way. 

That is one of the reasons you asked Ash to teach you how to fight and started to carry a gun at all times.

—--- 

(y/n) looks over at ash ‘’ you think that it could be-’’

“No, if it is im gonna kill him the second I see him or his friend and anyways we stopped doing business with him for almost a year,” Ash said while looking at the wall in front of him. 

“Ash, this is something he would do. It's fucked up but it's true you and I both know that,’’ she said looking over at Ash. 

His eyebrows creased and he clenched his fits. Memories going back to the day he saw you, his sister snatched up by some guy and he couldn't do anything to stop it from happening. He knew he wouldn't let anything like that happen again to you.

“Ash you know it's not gonna happen again right? I won't let it happen, you won't let it happen, shit fez will make sure it doesn't happen,” she said turning her head to face the door of the room.

“And anyways it could just have something to do with Tommy or some shit. And maybe I'm just being delusional by saying that other shit. But hey I got this if it ever comes down to it” (y/n) said before lifting her coat jacket revealing the holster that held her gun.

Ash looked down at her gun before looking up and slowly nodding his head. They had an understanding of each other that only siblings could have. Suddenly there was a knock on the door downstairs.

Ash and (Y/n)  look at each other before getting up from the bed and going downstairs.

(y/n) heart started beating faster than normal, her hands felt clammy and she could feel a cold sweat. Ash was the same, once they got downstairs they got to the door. Ash reach for his gun while (y/n) opened the door.

The knocking happened again this time harder and louder. (Y/n) and Ash held their breath before (y/n) slowly twisted the doorknob

“Fuck Pol you scared the shit out of us,” she said before letting out a breath of relief and opening the door just enough for her to get in. 

“I got a call about what happened from Tommy's maid,” she said while looking at us her eyes glazing around.

—------------------1st person

“Weres your brother,” she said, I and Ash looked at each other. We were looking into each other's eyes for a quick second before answering.

“He's in the U.S.’’ I said looking at Pol. 

“Anyway come we put the body in the kitchen. It's i really brutal sight.” I said before I and Ash started walking towards the kitchen with Pol right behind us. Once we got there I heard Pol breathe in a quick breath. 

The man's body was anything but pretty half of his face was disfigured and his arm was bent in an unnatural position. His clothes were ragged and slightly burnt. Blood had dried on his head from where his head wound was.

“I-i think I may know who that is,” Pol said before taking a shaky step back. 

“Pol who is it, we need to know please,” I said looking at her while scratching the skin on my arm almost to the point of drawing blood until ash stopped me from going any further.

“He was a boy who worked for the peaky blinders about the same age as Finn. We need to call the family. Do you guys have a phone.’’ she asked while looking back at the boy's body. I pointed at the phone on the table stand and she went to make a call.

—------------------- 3 hrs later, 2nd person

I sat on the couch in the living room staring at the radio as it played static. Pure static is all I could listen to, it helped clear my mind and fuzz it out better than the other channels did. All you could think about was the boy who was just at the kitchen table. His name was Jimmy walsh he was 16 years old and his family had moved from Ireland to the Uk. he was working with the Peakys to help his family earn money. His body wasn't supposed to be at your doorstep, it was supposed to be at the betting shop's doorstep.

I wondered if he had any friends and if he wanted to go to school once his family had made enough money. If he had a lover, if he had any siblings, and how many he had. When thinking about him though you couldn't help but have your mind go to Duke. it had been a while since you had seen him.

Was he alive, was he well? Did he still work at the fairground or did he get a new job? As these questions plagued your mind. My leg started to shake and the tapping from my foot started to get louder and louder. 

A hand was laid on my shoulder causing me to jump my heart stopping for a second before looking at the person who had done that. When I looked I expected to see ash but instead, I saw Polly.

“Jesus Pol you scared me,” you said while covering your face with your hands. 

“I'm sorry (Y/n) wasn't my intention but I just want to check on you. I tried to find your brother but I think he went to the pub.” she while removing my hand from my face and wiping away the tears from my face which I had failed to notice.

I looked at her in the eyes while trying to form words but all that came out were sobs painful sobs of everything that had built up in for the past years. Pol lay my head on her shoulder and hugged me with one hand on my head and the other on my upper back.

“N-no I not” I let out in shaky breaths that were uneven and tears streaming down my face.

“Ssh try to catch your breath.” pol said while rubbing my back.

“He was j-just a kid. A bit older than me a-and ash. He had a family that loved him and he's gone. It's all so fucked up Pol.” I said while burying my face in her shoulder even more.

“It is, it is, he was an innocent boy who was killed. You shouldn't have seen that and he shouldn't have died.” Polly said while running her hand up and down my hair.

We just sat there for what felt like forever. I wanted to ask who she thought had done it. I wanted to ask if I could do anything to help but in the end, I knew it would all be futile. From what Fez told me, peaky business was peaky business and not to ask questions. Don't get our family deeper than we already are. 

After a while, Polly withdrew from the hug. She looked me in the eyes and wiped the remaining tears from my face and gave me a smile I could only imagine a mother could give her daughter.

“How about this? You stay at my house for tonight and your brother can as well. I dont want you or your brother to stay here alone for now,” she said

“Pol it's fine we can handle ourselves. You already have a lot on your plate. I don't want to burden you anymore,” I said with an unsure voice. 

“Nonsense your welcome at my home anytime you like.” she said looking in my eyes before heading toward the front door.

“Well come on we're going to find your brother,” she said again, she opened the door and stepped outside, holding the door for me while I followed.

“He is probably at the garrison getting shit-faced or something,” i said walking next her while looking around slightly chuckling.

“Well we will see, how about this tomorrow you and me and maybe ash will go out for the day.” she says trying to lighten the mood, i look at her a laugh slightly.

“Sure why not but are you sure I mean me and ash were sorting things out at the house since we just got it we don't really have money to by-,” I say but am quickly cut off by pol

“Nonsense I will pay for anything you or your brother need okay,” she says while looking at me kindly. We walk through the street towards the garrison. It is musty and complex to breathe but it is what I have become slightly used to when it comes to Birmingham. The buildings are coated by years of smoke and children play in coal piles. If you look close enough you might mistake the falling ash for snow on Christmas day.

As (Y/n) and Polly continued walking towards the garrison, they passed by familiar faces in the neighborhood. Some nodded in acknowledgment while others gave them suspicious glances.it seemed Living in Small Heath, one could never be too sure who was a friend and who was an enemy. They finally reached the garrison, a place where many of the Shelby family members and their associates gathered. Inside, the atmosphere was thick with smoke and the smell of whiskey.

 Polly's eyes scanned the room, searching for Ash, but he wasn't among the crowd. “Guess he's not here,” (Y/n) said, feeling slightly disappointed. Polly nodded, “Well, let's give him some more time. In the meantime, why don't we sit down and have a drink?” 

she suggested, gesturing towards an empty table in the corner. They sat down, and Polly signaled for a drink. The bartender quickly poured them a couple of glasses of whiskey. (Y/n) took a sip, feeling the warmth of the liquid spread through her body. It was a welcome distraction from the chaos of the day. As they chatted and waited for Tommy, (Y/n) couldn't help but admire Polly's strength. Despite the loss of her own children and all the hardships she'd faced, Polly remained resilient and fiercely protective of those she cared about.

 Soon, Tommy arrived at the garrison, looking troubled. His eyes met (Y/n)'s, and he gave her a small smile, a rare thing to see from him unless you were his childre, family or lover. He then turned to Polly and greeted her with a hug. “I heard about what happened at your place,” Tommy said in a low voice. Polly nodded, “Yes, it's a terrible situation. We're going to need to be cautious and keep an eye on things. (Y/n) and Ash needs protection.” “I'll make sure they have it,” Tommy replied, his expression stern.

“It's fine we can protect ourselves besides I think it was targeted at you guys more than it was at me, Ash or Fez,” i say while looking down slightly to scared to look them in the eyes as i could feel the gazes on me

 “But we need to find out who did this and why. This was clearly about sending a message that and we won't be pushed around.” As they discussed their next steps, (Y/n) felt a mix of fear and determination. She knew she had to protect herself and her brother, but she also wanted justice for Jimmy's death. She couldn't bear the thought of another innocent life being lost because of the dangerous world they were caught up in. 

Later Ash walked into the garrison looking around (y/n) caught her brother's eyes and waved him over to where she, Pol and Tommy were sitting, she ordered some drinks for everyone and continued to listen to Pol and Tommy talk. 

The night wore on, and they continued to strategize, knowing that they had to be cautious in their every move. By the time they left the garrison, it was already late, and the streets of Small Heath were dimly lit. “Come with me,” Polly said to (Y/n) and Ash as they walked towards her house. “You'll stay with me for the night, and we'll figure out a plan together.”

 (Y/n) nodded, feeling grateful for the support she was receiving from Polly and Tommy. Even though they were just business associates; they were treating her and Ash with more kindes than she thought they were owed but she felt happy at the same time, she was happy to have her brother with her as well and in the dangerous world they lived in, family meant everything. As they reached Polly's house, (Y/n) felt a mix of emotions. The events of the day had been overwhelming, and in her mind, the weight of the world seemed to rest on her shoulders. 

By the time they got to pols house (y/n) felt exhausted and was slightly using ash as a walking support. Pol lead them up to the room they would sleep in it was spacious, there were two twin-sized beds with a desk put in between the 2 beds. A window looking outside that let the moonlight shine through and 2 closets on either sides of the beds

1st person 

“Well I hope this is alright with you 2 i'll see you in the morning,” she said before leaving the room and closing the door. Me and ash having taken off our shoes once we originally got in the house walked to the different closets silently and got in them to change our clothes for the night, we brush our teeth and did whatever either of us usually did for our night routine 

A moment passed by with neither of them saying anything until Ash decided to speak.

“You think this is a sign,” Ash said looking up at the ceiling, I looked over at him 

“What do you mean,” I ask confused, Ash turns his head to look at me

“Maybe we should've stayed in the US and never left, maybe things would be better.” Ash said before looking back up at the ceiling.

“I don't think anywhere would be better for us ash, I mean the shit our family is involved with, no matter how far we run I don't think we'll ever be able to run away from what's coming,” I said while looking at Ash. he looked over at me with a gaze I knew all to well a gaze I had given him many times before when I felt helpless or confused. 

“Whatever it is i'll make sure it doesn't hurt you Fez or grandma, ok ash, family above everything,” I said smiling at him.

“Oh also (y/n) when you went to that carnival who were you really with.” Ash said, his eyes filled with curiosity and mischive. 

“Uhh… don't snitch to fez but it was a guy named Duke he worked at the circus but I haven't talked to him or seen him for a while and I have no way of contacting him, he was a cool dude thought i'd like to get to know him more,” I said, I could feel myself start to feel slightly happy at the thought of seeing him again 

“Yeah, I bet you would like to get to know him better hmm,” Ash said jokingly, I shook my head with disgust

“Ew Ash what the fuck I barely know him, don't say shit like that.” I said covering my face in emmbarsesment and rolling over in my bed. I could hear Ash laugh, so I took one of the pillows and threw it at him, I could hear a tiny ow before he shut up. 

“Night ash,” I said to him before closing my eyes. “Night,” he said back to me 

As I closed my eyes my mind drifted back to Duke. I wondered where he was, he hadn't ever left my mind ever since the day I first met him, there seemed to be a lot about him. I wanted to know he was very quiet about his life. Which could only make me wonder about him. I missed him oddly enough, I missed him like I missed Rue or Maddie. They were like family to me, I only hoped they were ok. 

Same night Dukes pov

 Duke let out a sneeze as he sat in the dimly lit circus tent filled with the scent of sawdust and anticipation as the performers prepared for their acts. Among them, Duke Shelby couldn't help but feel a weird peculiar tingling in his chest, and it wasn't because of the show. It had been quite some time since he last saw (y/n), the girl he had met outside the circus grounds months ago.  As he brushed down the sleek black coat of a circus horse, Duke's thoughts kept wandering back to that fateful encounter.

 He remembered how he had stumbled upon (y/n) while she was walking to small heath. She asked if he could help her get there on his horse-drawn carriage to her intended destination, with the promise of payment. he was curios by her demeanor, how she would space out, how she would ramble without thought but stop before she revealed too much, she interested him even in his usually reserved demeanor. 

He had invited her to come to the circus while it was in town, hoping to talk to her more. It was an impulsive decision, driven by a desire to know her better and, perhaps, to impress her.  But things didn't go as he had hoped. (y/n) seemed to enjoy the circus initially, her eyes shining with wonder at the daring acrobatics and mesmerizing performances. Yet, after a little while, she excused herself and left, offering only vague reasons for her sudden departure.

  He went about his duties that night, trying to focus on the work he had to do. Yet, behind the straight seemingly bored face, his mind kept wandering back to (y/n). He wondered where she was, what she was doing, and if she ever thought about him.

  Duke thought it was dumb of him to think of someone he barely knew, someone who probably didn't remember him. Perhaps she already had forgotten about him, just like he should forget about her. Duke felt a sense of longing mixed with apprehension and anger. He couldn't shake off the thought that he wanted to see (y/n) again, to talk to her, to understand more about her, if anything. But for now, he could only hope that fate would bring them together again and that maybe, just maybe, the thoughts he had would not remain unknown forever.

The horse neighed slightly as he brushed its black coat of hair. He had always liked horses so he had no problem taking care of one for the fairground. He hadn't seen Esme in a while and still thought back to her reaction at your name almost like she new who you were or knew of you.

“Duke how's the horse coming along?” yelled Dukes boss, he turned away from the horse to spare a glance at his boss

“She's almost done.” Duke mumbled out before looking back at the horse and continued to brush her. He felt a tap on the shoulder and turned around as his boss placed his payment for the week in his hand,  2 pounds.

“Next fair will be by small heath in a week after this one, you'll get your full payment tomorrow.” said the boss before turning around and leaving the makeshift stable/tent. 

“Mhm, good to know.” Duke said lazily while he continued to brush the horse, by this point he hoped his boss was leaving. The whole reason he chose to take care of the horses was because he got to be away from people. They pissed him off. He likes horses better than most people anyways.

He felt intrigued by the idea of returning to small heath, mainly because it might give him the opportunity to see you again and have more conversations with you. The memory of your address crossed his mind, making him contemplate the possibility of visiting to check if you were around. Despite acknowledging that it might come across as creepy, he couldn't help but entertain the thought.

He finished brushing the horse and put everything away, he started walking to his caravan as he did he heard the sound of cars leaving and people talking. It was loud and annoying, underwhelming almost, soon he heard footsteps behind 

“Did you hear about that boy found dead” said a boy behind duke seemingly talking to his friends, duke started walking slower to hear the conversation going on behind him

“Oh yea it was dead kid found on somebody's doorstep right?’’ said the other boy

“Yea and apparently the peaky's got something to do with it, I heard polly gray went to the house he found there were two people there, a boy and a girl maybe 14 or 15. I think they work for the peakys or maybe they killed the boy.” said the other boy, by the time they started talking more about what had happened they had walked past Duke.

He watched them as they walked past him the last thing he could hear was that apparently the body was found in small heath birmingham. He shrugged and continued to walk to his caravan.

He got in and laid on his bedspread. He stared at the ceiling unmoving, he stared at the cracks in the wood and listened to the wind blow through the tents and nearby trees. He wondered if he would ever have more to life than being a fairground worker.

He wanted to travel the mountains, all of them, here in Britain and maybe the rest of the world. As he closed his eyes his mind went to you and wondered how you were doing. Soon he let the embrace of sleep take him to a quiet darkness as the candle light danced on the walls.

[heartsbreaking-migrated]

okay weewoo show season finale thoughts spoilers obviously please use your eyes because im not spoiler tagging this because i dont want it to breach containment if you haven't seen the finale simply do not click the read more

i missed ravi and may more than life itself it wasn't a great tv finale but it wasn't anywhere near got s8 (i know its not the end of the show but this is my point of comparison okay)

first of all the daddy kink debate going on in the tags is so funny to me as if this show ISNT MADE BY THE SAME PEOPLE THAT MADE FUCKING GLEE! GET A GRIP! there was NEVER going to be a time when this show is dead serious tm. there is always going to be a level of camp garbage to it, but y'all aren't ready for that discussion. actually this point doesn't just apply to the daddy kink thing, but the whole show. this isn't prestige tv. we're not watching succession here, we're watching a prime time soap opera set at a fire house.

acab. i love athena as a person but i'm honestly not a fan of her character arc in this show.

loved being right all along about amir. i knew in my heart that man could not hurt a fly.

idc how unrealistic maddie and chimney being approved as emergency foster placements that quick probably is they're everything to me and i really want more of the hen/karen & maddie/chimney joint family next season! more of that and less cop athena plots pls. (i know i'm harping on it but i really can't stand cop shows and as much as i love angela bassett i want less of athena)

i actually think eddie letting chris go with his grand parents was mature as hell. like i'm sorry dude, you fucked around and found out. i feel bad for him for not having processed his grief but i think allowing knockoff shanon (i forgot her name okay) into his house and into his life at all was a dick move on ALL fronts. i'm glad he and chris have a support system sure wished he used it more instead of putting all his grief on a fucking stranger (i also really hated this plot it was dumb and stupid and really ryan murphy core)

anywho favorite moments of the episode were may showing up, maddie calling herself 'maddie han' and jee walking in holding mara's hand.

i'm not going to rant about how much i hate 90% of the people in the fandom who aren't in the rpc. you can unlock that rant by adding me on disco cause jesus christ the people in the tags deserve jail time.

hottest take i just came up with, i think this show should be moved to a streaming exclusive and make the episodes longer. i honestly think the biggest handicap of this show is the amount of time they have. the seasons are SHORT which is the trend now for prestige tv but like i said this ain't it. an hour of 9/1/1 without commercials would really give the show room to breath cause truly when you watch it with commercials you realize how little run time it actually has. there was one point mid episode where there was ONE SCENE and then it cut to commercial again. like thats nasty.