#im a fuckin hypocrite tho bc same
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ziekkfreak2-0 · 4 days ago
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Does bro even hear himself.
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boywonderasnf · 1 year ago
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OKOK HEREA WE GO
before i begin Insane TED-Talk of The Day, im gonna preface that i love this take so much, but my brain does things more than one way. but both is v good!!!
anyways mb bout the rant and dont come for me if anything is incorrect or wtv. erm also i mostly focus on the main 4 batboys so pls dont be upset i didn't mention the other kids💀
ANYWAYS as the post said:
"Bruce Wayne is a dad in many different ways and for many different reasons, but chief among them is his ability to know that one of his kids is sick just by looking at them or hearing them breathe.
He can diagnose a fever with just the back of his (gloved!) hand on their forehead. He knows when they’re about to be dizzy before it even happens. He is A Dad."
OKAY NOW BUT WAIT WHAT IF HE ISNT THO LIKE MAYBE WHEN THEYRE YOUNGER BUT AROUND THEIR TEEN YEARS? ESPECIALLY DICK, WHO TURNED THIS INTO LITERALLY HIDING ILLNESS JUST SO HE COULD STILL WORK FOR BRUCE AND "NOT DISAPPOINT HIM" ??
DICK, WHO WORKS HIS ASS OFF 24/7 AND IS ALWAYS ON EVERYONE ELSES ASS SO THEY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES ??
CONSISTENTLY DICK HAS TRIED TO GET AWAY FROM BRUCE'S TEACHINGS AND (even though Bruce probably didnt mean for it to be unknown,) ALWAYS MAKE IT KNOWN THAT ITS OKAY TO TAKE BREAKS AND CARE FOR YOURSELF
RAUGHHH AND ON TOP OF THAT, HIS EFFORTS ARE JUST SLIGHTLY LESS THAN USELESS (slowly getting better, but still) BECAUSE HIS SIBLINGS WERE ALL STILL WITH BRUCE AND SO IT GOT INSTILLED INTO THEM TO HIDE ILLNESS AS WELL IM GOING INSANE
JASON NEVER GOES TO BRUCE FOR ANYTHING AND ALMOST NEVER GOES TO ANYBODY ELSE OR ASKS FOR HELP (for many reasons, but still)
SAME WITH FUCKIN TIMBO! KID DOESNT HAVE A SHRED OF KNOWLEDGE FOR SELF CARE IN HIS BODY
Damian was already just like that, but hes also Dick's chance to help Dami unlearn all of those behaviors the others (including himself still bc hes a giant hypocrite) couldnt unlearn. Damian is still young enough to unlearn them quicker than the others can
and listen, this may all be stemming from me wanting the ultimate hurt/comfort with this shit, Bruce not noticing one of the (18+) kids is sick and all the other siblings jump to help care for and defend that one ill person.
cause its nice. you get the hurt from Bruce being oblivious and get to use the line "worlds greatest detective my ass".
and then you get the comfort of family caring for each other/significant other caring for sad and sick batkid whos upset that Bruce didn't notice.
yeah shut up ive read a fic like this before, and yeah it was fucking fantastic actually, but still this is true regardless!!!
anywasy, again please do not come for me if this all sounds dumb as fuck and is completely incorrect for some reason, im superstoned and autistic and this is what my brain decided to fuck around with tonight.
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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 4 years ago
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bakugou thoughts pt 2001847471 :)))
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- if u go to the park, and somebody is like, walking their dog n the animal barks at y’all??? bakugou is barking back. mans full on squares up, n barks at the dog until it backs off
- he rarely gets into shows/series, but when he finds one he likes, he’ll only watch the first few episodes and then make u watch the rest with him. he’ll always say sum “if i dont watch with you, then i gotta make extra time for your needy ass. ‘m prioritizing my fuckin’ time. it doesn’t mean anything, shut up.” ...... he’s lying. it does mean something. it means he wants to share the things he likes with u
- pls he’s so smart, and generally pretty aware, but sometimes he’ll just do something so duMb. like, u kno that thing that happens sometimes with hair?? like, when it sticks to ur fingers and no matter what u do, u can’t get it off?? bakugou is literally breaking his wrist a foot away from u, shaking his hand back and forth and cursing soooo loudly. u just gotta go up to him and gently remove the hair from him like “oh honey- no.”
- peanut gallery comments. lots of them. mans will sit fully dead silent, not talking for the whOle day, but the second u do something embarrassing?? like trip??? suddenly he has a LOT to say ..... smh men
- animals just always like him. its absolutely unexplainable bc he’s so loud n moves super suddenly,,, but the amount of street animals that follow him home is ridiculous. srsly. sometkmes he even has other people’s pets trying to follow him home
- respects absolutely no one n that somehow strangely makes him the most respectful u’ve ever seen??? like- he hates everyone the exact same so u won’t ever catch bakugou in an act of discrimmination
- he can’t draw at all but if u asked him to draw something, it’ll be the same skull every single time. it’s a good skull, but it’s soooo obvious he learned how to draw it from a tutorial in the midst of his emo phase
- will fully make fun of others for baby-talking around their s/o, n then just fully go home n look at you like “tired.” “hungry.” “kiss.”...... like okay baby man, maybe try putting a full sentence together before u start trying to run your mouth. hypocrite.
- probably sleeps like the dead. contrary to popular belief, i absolutely do not believe he’s up at every single noise. man’s could sleep thru an explosion, im sure of it. that being said tho, it’s probably actually hard for him to turn his brain off n fall asleep. he prob goes to bed so “early” bc he has to wind down for a good hr or two until he’s ready to actually sleep
- he’s got a vendetta against salespeople. like, if his phone rings with some bullshit about a product? if somebody, god forbid, tries to walk up to your door? fully frothing at the mouth annoyed. will chew out any employee who’s too underpaid not to listen to him
- eats like an absolute animal. no rlly, its bad. holds his spoon with a fist and digs at his meal like its the gold rush. the worst table manners you’ve ever seen rlly
- he gets sorts antsy if he sits for too long, so he’s always off doing random shit. like, u’ll look out the window n he’s just like, raking the .3 leaves from ur driveway, probably trying to guess where the wind will be so they wont blow back
- ik this with my heart and soul okay,,, bakugou has never had a conversation with u that wasnt from exactly .2 meters away. like,, if he’s comfortable, then he’s just close all the time. like he’s waving his hands around and yelling and you just have to take his face in ur hands and go “im literally right here. ily but pls tone it down for the sake of my hearing.”
- very much guard dog behavior when y’all go out. absolutely will not leave ur side for even a second, like, at a bar or during a concert. even if u go to the bathroom he’s like, leaning against the wall and waiting right outside the door
- gets absolutely bitchy about your phone blowing up while you’re hanging out. its not that he’s suspicious that ur, like, cheating on him, it’s just that he doesnt understand why u’d even leave ur phone on in the first place since he always has his turned off when ur around. if he gets annoyed enough he’ll fully take the phone out of ur hands, say sum “yeah, you don’t fuckin’ need this anymore. you’re done with this.” n toss it across the room while he kisses u senseless
- tbh his ultimate love language is 100% playfighting. v much would go heart eyes if u even seemed like u might try n wrestle him. obvi u dont win, but his favorite is how u laugh while he pins ur hands above ur head
- he sneers at other angry people. will fully, fully sit there like “jesus christ, they need to calm the hell down. annoying as shit- fuckin’ loud too.” ....... -i. who’s gonna tell him
- silent conversations with ur eyes. no rlly. if y’all are with friends and somebody says something questionable, bakugou is immeadiately turning to u, eyes hardly even shifting but u just know he’s hurling insults in his head
- he doesnt realize his own strength sometimes. like- he knows he’s strong, but if u ever open a door n ur like “woah, careful, this is heavier than it looks” bakugou is .2 steps behind u practically ripping the damn thing off it’s hinges. he’ll look at it, huffing like he doesn’f even understand the issue
- he rlly likes when u call him by his name. pet names are fine, but he srsly is super soft for the simple stuff. like when u look over at him, all excited, smile wide like “hey katsuki, u gotta see this! c’mere!”
- his road rage is severe. no rlly. bakugou drives like every day is a race n he’s one win away from going formula one. you’re pretty sure that the only reason he passed his license test is bc the instuctor was too terrified to tell him no
- bakugou probably does that thing where if you’re sitting on the counter top, watching him cook, he’ll stand between ur legs. hands on ur thighs or resting on ur hips while you tell him about your day
- can’t explain this one, but he doesnt kill spiders. he takes them outside. says sum “they eat ticks, idiot. what- you actually want a fuckin’ blood disease? Hah? ‘m not gonna kill it. motherfucker’s gotta earn his keep before dyin’ just like the rest of us.” while he v gently picks the spider up into his hand and walks it outside
- ik that his one cheat food is sugary cereal. like, he’s a health freak, but the one thing he can’t help but make a concession for is sugary cereal on the weekends
- he’ll sometimes get in this over-stimulated mood where everything pisses him off, n the only thing u can do is leave him alone. u learn this quick bc his anger doesn’t discrimminate and if u push him even after he tells u what’s up?? pls bakugou will lash tf out. at u. like, ik y’all like to write it but that whole “it’s okay- it’s just me. just look at me.” thing does not work with him,,, u literally gonna get merc’d if u try
- he’s probably a guy who’s gonna be super big on passing touches. like he drops his hand on ur head when he passes, or bumps his shoulder into urs when he laughs. no footsies tho. too sappy even for him- pls if u tried to initate that he’d crush ur toes under the table aHAHAHA
- feeds every street cat he comes across. is probably super fond of the ones with a bunch of scratches/scars on them. he’d die if u knew, but one time u caught him feeding a scratched up calico n going “bet u beat his stupid ass, right? that’s my girl. we always win, huh?”
—/—
surprise suprise,, my brain rlly never shuts the hell up about this man
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bisaster-energy · 4 years ago
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I just rewatched Avengers and I'm fucking LOSING it
I forgot bro...
I forgot how annoying Steve was alsmalmdns
And dont come at me saying that I don't like him simply because I love Tony Stark (as i should!!) Because i remember being so fucking irked when I first watched this movie!! And I just remembered how mad I was when I watched it again cos I forgot like 60% of what was said and what happened tbh
And Steve. Oh my god. Listening to what he said just pissed me off a majority of the film!! Like bruh! What are you doing hon!!
I get it tho like he just woke up, the future is crazy, all his friends are dead it's insane and fucked up!! But jfc his instant dislike for Tony is weird as hell 💀
He doesn't treat anyone else with the same disdain? Like i get it bc Tony has a loud personality and not everyone has to like him ofc
But he's just so...ugh
Like Tony is on the ship next to Steve and they just bagged loki and thor is gonna show up soon. And Tony is doing his normal rambling shit and basically tries to get to know Steve?? At least that's how i saw it? But ig it pissed steve off cos he just ignored what tony said and said "fury didn't tell me he was calling you in" and he just seemed upset that tony was there? Idk if it was because he came late or cos Loki surrendered like moments after tony showed up or cos he made a joke about steve doing pilates to stay spry (lmao) but he didn't seem happy that Tony was there :/
And later Tony's labbing it up with his shiny new science bro Bruce and poking him (cos that's what he does) and obv bruce would tell Tony to cut that shit out if he really was upset by it but all he can say is "ow!!" Before steve busts into the lab like "ARE YOU CRAZY YOUTRYNAKILLUSALL?!?!? no offence doc :)" and bruce is like "ok I'm not gonna hulk out chill" and basically steve is just in there to tell tony off (I seriously wonder if he was camping outside the lab waiting for Tony to do something he didn't like because he came in RIGHT after tony poked Bruce so)
And i get why he would do that but bruh im pretty sure bruce is fine lmao plus he and tony seem to be getting along so far so idk why he thought "dear god the genius is gonna get us all killed with his reckless behavior!!" And went in to save the day lmao. Maybe I'm just being a bitch but if i were steve I'd see if there was a real problem first. And hulk is a scary concept I get it but steve literally said to Bruce that the only thing he cares about is the fact that he can find the tesseract ans yet every chance he gets he's like "careful guys we don't wanna set banner off now do we?" Like bruh if you were concerned about how much of a handle he has on hulk why didn't you just god damn say so instead of lying to this man's face 😔
What I got from the scenes between tony and bruce vs the scenes between steve in bruce is that Tony trusts that bruce could handle being on this mission while steve just...doesnt :/
So naturally Tony thinks something hinky is going on with shield and bruce fuckin agrees cos hell yeah Science Bros plus SHIELD is sus
And steve is like "don't go snooping this is why shield doesn't like you stark >:( now get back to finding that cube" and then he fucked off to literally do exactly what Tony was doing but without hacking.
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Are you kidding me?? We always talk about how much of a hypocrite steve was in Ultron when he was mad at tony for keeping secrets and then keeping the Stark murder a secret but this man showed us who he was from the get go lmao
But then they find out *gasp* Tony was right! Big shocker there huh. And SHIELD is super sus and loki is like bruh y'all cant defeat me like this smh
And one of the most MIND BLOWING scenes in this film is where they're all arguing around the scepter, who's being a chaotic little bitch
Now keep in mind, the scepter was definitely influencing everyone but it didn't tell them WHAT to think or say lmao so i have to assume that to some extent they mean that shit
So I'm just supposed to be focusing on steve so sorry for going off topic but Fury turning the topic of the conversation to tony saying how he built his fortune off of weapons?? That shit was uncalled for like bruh...there was a whole movie about his character development and how he shut down his weapons bc he found out they were hurting innocents...
But anyways
Steve takes this opportunity to call tony out for being narcissistic. His evidence? I'll have to get back to you on that cos i have no fucking clue.
Here's the big argument where we get most of our good old anti-steve content tbh:
Steve says tony is nothing without the suit
Again: where is this man's evidence?? Why is he saying these mean things?? AND I KNOW IT'S COS OF THE SCEPTER BUT NO ONE ELSE WAS TALKING FOR THIS LONG OR ZEROING IN ON ONE PERSON SO STFU
He seems upset that tony actually answers his question like...you asked what i was without the suit? (The best part is that natasha did a little head nod, agreeing with tony calling himself "genius billionaire plybiy philanthropist")
says he knows guys worth ten of Tony without any of the stuff he listed
He just met Tony. They haven't even known each other a week and he's ready picking at his insecurities?? Crazy. Plus when steve says "I've seen the footage. The only person you fight for is yourself." Like ok there wasn't exactly a war for him to go and fight in but go off rogers. When was he supposed to fight for other ppl and what makes you say he didn't?? I'm so confused about the thought process here. And the footage he saw? What was it? Him saving people at the Expo? Him fighting terrorists? A sex tape of him that got leaked??
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Says Tony wouldn't sacrifice for someone, wouldn't let some guy crawl over him while laying on a wire
Again how does he know that Tony WOULDN'T?? He's just saying random shit at this point and I just cant
And Tony again gives a smart remark because that's what he does plus it's funny
He said he would cut the wire, which is such a tony thing to say tbh. Like,,in Afghanistan they were like "build us weapons or die" basically and he said "I pick the third option" and got the hell outta dodge
And steve is upset by this answer as well! Another shocker. He says "always a way out" like lol why not? Why are you so pissed? What is the issue darling??
And Tony FINALLY stoops to Steve's level of throwing out insults and says "lmao like you?? Bruh your talents came from a science experiment. Your "heroism" came from a bottle you clown" (obv he didn't say it like that what I said was actually meaner tbh i just hate steve)
And the worst thing i think steve said in the entire film: "you may not be a threat but you better stop pretending to be a hero"
I was just VIBRATING with anger at this I was LIVID. Tony has so many damn insecurities and this is not helping!! Like bruh wtf is Steve doing rn!! Everyone else stopped arguing at this point and is just LOOKING at steve basically tell Tony he's nothing special for no reason besides him not liking tony for reasons unexplained
And wanna know what Tony doesnt do? Listen to him. Im actually pretty sure he told him to fight him twice and tony doesn't get the suit either time lol
And steve has NO comeback for that so he just tells tony to straight up fight him lmao
Idk why I keep forgetting that Steve likes to resolve disagreements by fighting in alleys. So he's ready to post up as if tony is some jock who just wont leave this poor dame be and tiny asthmatic Stevie is the only one willing to stop him. Steve you are HUGE now and tony is just existing next to you and you're yelling at him for it. This scene makes steve look a lot less like a hero and a lot more like the bullies he so fervently advocates against ngl
And then steve grabs tony when shit starts to hit the fan bc "you cant go alone!!" Like bruh just follow him lmao why are you stopping him (just a personal pet peeve tbh not really a big deal i just didn't like it)
And I'll say this again: IK THE SCEPTER WAS MAKING EVERYONE ANGRY AND SHIT! I GET IT! But out of that whole mass argument Steve was the only person focusing on one individual and for such a long ass time too! Tony said one thing that was on the offence instead in defence of himself that whole time and I'm crying cos how tf does the impulsive asshole have more self control than the golden boy Captain America?? I'm at a loss here folks
The way i see it, Tony and Steve don't like each other. They rub each other the wrong way. But the reason i don't like Steve is that he has contempt for Tony right off the bat with no explanation? And meanwhile Tony's whole childhood was probably riddled with Captain America. He probably saw Steve every damn day, or heard his dad talk about him in a higher regard than his own son. So he probably had this ingrained jealousy of Steve from the start and he STILL managed to be as civil as he usually is. But Steve?? I can only fucking guess.
So yeah there's my rant sorry I've been doing so many of these recently I just had a lot of time on my hands and decided to watch some Marvel and get pissed about it lol
TL;DR: after watching Avengers again I realized that Steve has always been pretty shitty so his character development wasn't exactly a drop, more like a stagnant line that no one noticed because he was pretty okay in the Captain America movies
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dragxnfall · 7 years ago
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y’fukin know wot m8 im just gonna come out and say it and address the big ass elephant in the room, u know that feeling of being replaced/inadequate when you’re having a blast with someone and then someone with the same muse comes by and that person’s attention is diverted off of you and u just kinda,,,,quietly fuck off? 
as a multi i get this so fckin much and i just drop myself bc i cant compete. but i know it prob sounds hypocritical of me to write this when i know a lot of ppl would say i do the same thing but i want to be better and not do that? if ur muses are feeling lonely fuckin launch them @ me bc im always down to give any and everyone this mclovin. i dont always see the lonely posts on dash but when i do i always comment even tho dead ass we’ve never spoken before but u mine im ur daddy now 
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flawfreed · 7 years ago
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hello everyone !!!! it’s ya demon here, the man the mitts the legend !!! my name’s bee, i live in the est tz , i’m 19, & i go by she/her pronouns (( ~ : i hnstly havent been this excited for a rp in awhile so let’s keep it short n i’ll get right to it  ! besides tht … im rlly dependin on yall 2 make this intro work so dnt let my intro flop n just hit tht lil ♡  ! or just ask for my d*ckcord n we gon be able to make sum spici connects !!
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- ̗̀ ❛ PARK CHANYEOL, HIM/HIS . ❜  ̖́- is that paxton park getting out of their car blasting perfect places by lorde? i heard they’re twenty five and they’ve been living in scarsdale for three years. i mean, i’m not surprised –– i hear their family’s networth is 650k. everyone’s always said they’re pretty adroit and dauntless, but rumor has it they can be brazen and fickle, too
ok so im ngl but pax is lowkey based off ao3 yoongi ksdjf
tho if ur not into bts n tht just sounds like nonsense ... pls ignore me (( ~ :
anyWAYS ... so for all that the media & news outlets like to paint paxton ‘ pax ‘ park as the wild child fckboy who has a new piece of candy on his arm each week, who’s constantly dripping w luxuries & fuckin it up w the big bucks ... his beginnings rlly aren’t so grand !!
brought up w next to nothing & considered dirt poor, his family consisted of a deadbeat dad who turned to the bottle after losing his job when pax was ten & a housewife momther who turned to the arms of other men for comfort until she eventually ran away when pax was thirteen
case in case ! pax had a pretty litty shitty childhood & therefore doesn’t enjoy talkin about it .. ever ... at all
w only the scars left behind to remind him of those awful times, he ... rlly likes to keep the past where it belongs ( ~ : in the fckn past 
but after escaping his father’s terrors at 16 by becoming a high school dropout & runaway, pax made it on the streets by busking where he could & working odd jobs where he couldnt
being something of a musical genius, he eventually got scouted by a record label during one of his street performances & went on to working w them as a producer by the time he was nineteen
after that ... it was rlly only a matter of time before his first few collabs were dropped ; becoming instant hits & chart toppers as his popularity only continued to rise !
by twenty one,  he’d already made a name for himself in the music industry, & after dropping a few collabs with some big name artists, he’d been rolling in the big bucks ever since !
ofc, w that came the sudden interest from those around him who would’ve looked twice before but y oinks ... welcum 2 the life of the riche n famheaus pax
but personality wise uhhhh my boy doesn't rlly give a fck abt much ?? growing up w such an awful fam  gave him a p cynical view of the world n after realizing just how much ... easier n kinder the world was to u just bc u hav some money rlly ... fcked him up a bit ?? like even more than he already was dkjf
but he’s also kind of a gigantic hypocrite bc now tht he’s rolling in money he’s terrified of going back to a life without so he’s kind of a huge workaholic  too y iKES
but at the SAME time he’s a huge partyer money lover n vainglorious bastard bc wtf is money except meant to be spent ?? 
so he like ... spits on the idea of the rich bc theyre biased n have it easy in life n they set up the poor for familiar but he also skjf can’t live without money n he’s just ... conflicted n messy n awful to ppl 99% of the time !  ( except 4 waitstaff n those who work in customer service bc he gets it !! like he’s a notoriously big tipper my buoy ! )
but yeah so even tho at heart he’s rlly just a music maker recluse that has too much money n not enough friends ... the media have taken to depicting him in this lowkey justin bieber-ish way of being this bad boy who makes bad decisions n fcks up w every breath he take ksjf ( which idk ... justin biebs kinda does so ... ( ~ :
but yeah so for plot ideas i had a couple so hmu if any of them catch ur eye !!
an ex who dated pax before he got rich ! they were super in love at the time n pax rlly thought they were the one ?? but when they were given an ultimatum between pax n their trustfund ... well ( ~ : pax learned tht love hurts n he wrote many a good love song for this person.
i’d also love a kinda mentor figure to pax who took him in under his wing after pax suddenly shot up in net worth cause damn my boy def moved to scarsdale looking like real big tryhard !! 
besides that uhhh u know the usual ! best friends, fwb, ride or dies, maybe a past employer before pax made it big n he was still working odd jobs to support himself ??, or even an enemy who treated pax like shit once n he has ... nvr forgotten cause my boy will drop ded before dropping grudges, uhhh can u say party buddies too ?? or drinking buddies if ur muse is more of a bar scene type... besides tht .. rlly just hmu w whatever im sure we could brainstorm if nothing else !!
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pekkt · 7 years ago
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so this will be ... rambly, because i am tired and have worked a twelve hour day full of bullshit but!!!
bullshit is the topic!!!!
also: the prose edda.
but mostly bullshit.
so i’ve been reading a version by penguin books and it’s not TOO bad but i’ll be real... first, i haven’t gotten into the whole “well who translated and what does THAT mean?” because trust me, it makes a difference.
secondly, i haven’t dissected this further beyond what i already am aware of but it will be important to say upfront: DISSECTION IS NECESSARY.
why?
because it’s bullshit. lmao, like YALL.... not only is the actual like, “author” this guy who was a political force in iceland but also like, christian as FUCK  and the whole beginning of this thing is just hime being like “listen here is the ACTUAL real story all about how this guy’s life got twisted turned upside down” re: odin and his origins from fuckin TROY and a genealogy that basically is like
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“dont worry, im gonna talk about odin THE GOD but can u see WHY people thought he was a god?”
ANYWAY so then we move on to snorfest being like “anyway so here’s how this dude found out allll about these -snort- GODS...”
and there is just so much bullshit in there it’s wild. i mean some stuff is painfully written in this version like the dudes telling this bro whats up are like “you seriously just asked that, uhm okay, well, i’m glad u asked but like... MOST men would know this already but.. like.. lol...”
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and tbh one of my faves is when they are like “oh u dont know why summer is hot and winter is cold? well uhm, okay most people do but like... just so YOU know, this guy NAMED summer was pretty relaxed... and rad. this guy that basically had a name LIKE winter or wind chill or some shit was cruel and bitey and stuff.. like... duh.”
LEGIT yall..
Then Gangleri asked, ‘Why is there such a difference between the heat of summer and the cold of winter?’
High answered, ‘A wise man would not have asked, because everyone can answer this. But if you are a man of such little learning that you have not heard this before, then I would rather that you, in your ignorance, ask than continue to be unaware of what one ought to know. Svasud is the name of the father of Summer. He is a man so content that from his name comes the expression “it is svasligt”, referring to what is pleasant. The father of Winter is alternately called Vindloni or Vindsval [Wind Chill]. He is the son of Vasad [Damp Cold]. These are cruel and cold-hearted kinsmen, and Winter takes its nature from them.’
smdh.
anyway so my whole point is like... this is cool to read and all bc it gives u all those basic stories and shit but don’t forget context is everything and what can seem like bullshit and dumb shit at first MIGHT have allusions to a bigger historical cultural concept?? but also.... MAYBE NOT???
and that’s ok??
i’m a big fan of writing my sigyn as someone who is like ... chill with liars. i mean but at the same time she calls out some of them. she is a hypocrite and says dumb shit even tho she is divine and all that crap. like it’s OK if your gods are kind of assholes and come off that way?? because?? sometimes they are??? and to accept them as they are is sort of part of the adventure in heathenry tbh. as coming from a heathen..ish.. person.
i mean you ask any true odin’s man or woman how they feel about the old man and i guarantee a load will be like “lmao.... fuk....”
and i’m like SAME t b q h.
if ur gonna read these stories, which totally start off with somethin as ridiculous as the prose edda for simple consumption (well i say simple, comparatively to other shit, trust me it’s pretty simple.) but keep things handy like... john lindow’s shit abt norse myth and the like?? so when u get to a point where ur like “lmao what the fuck???” u can maybe explore a concept or keyword to see the shit behind it? or see there is nothin much behind it, just bullshit and that’s aight.
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gardenstateofmind · 8 years ago
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tw self harm i don't eat and don't sleep as a way to self harm basically. it's like a control thing, it's the same reason i self injure (cutting, burning, hitting things until i bruise) like i have so much anger and frustration bc i feel so fucking useless and helpless and i hate myself and i cant seem to do anything about it. so doing that stuff gives me a physical outlet for all those emotions. it's one thing i Can affect. and seeing myself broken is satisfying, like my outside matches my inside. idk i just like it a lot? makes me feel good, like there's at least something i can do right it started in eighth grade and continued steadily through sophomore year, but freshman year was definitely the worst of it. i got really unhealthy, i was always dizzy and my hair was falling out a lot, i looked half dead most of the time. it's kinda weird having an eating disorder that's not weight related though, cause it's a minority, so a lot of information abt eds has never applied to me. for years i legit didn't think i counted as having an ed cause i actually have a good relationship with food, i love it, and it's also a big part of my mexican heritage. it's like just the physical act of eating and sensation of being full and yeah like it's not at all a calorie thing. until i put together that an eating disorder means literally just that, the reasons behind it can be anything i mean i definitely still do all this stuff, but ive gotten a lot better at using healthier coping skills over the years, im on medication, and my mom keeps a closer eye on me, so i have less reason to do it. i have a not so negative relationship with self harm. while i ofc never recommend doing it, and i strongly advocate for recovery, when it comes to myself, i dont really see it as such a bad thing. like it's really just a coping mechanism, the problem is just that it hurts you in the process. but it's fuckin socially acceptable to drink ur problems away, and to a lesser extent do drugs. so as long as im not addicted i dont see why i should abstain from the things that make me happy during bad times just bc they're not socially accepted. so i dont actually ever plan on stopping these behaviors, rather i want to stop the reasons that cause them. i want to have a happy healthy life, but if shit goes down, i wouldnt stop myself from self harming (if i have kids tho i would def think twice bc i never want them to think it's okay to hurt urself. yes im a hypocrite) it's funny though bc even though my mental illness has definitely gotten more severe over the years and even more symptoms have showed up, it felt so much worse when i was in like middle school. i guess bc i was a lot younger and i didnt have the experience i do now. i mean ive pretty much always been mentally ill and neurodivergent, but little kids' lives are usually pretty easy in our culture, and my thoughts weren't that complex, so overall it was a decently good childhood. but then when i was nine it got So Much Worse, i guess cause i hit puberty and ur brain gets super unstable at that time, and yeah it was like nothing id ever dealt with before and it was really debilitating. i had breakdowns constantly, i went through a couple huge personality shifts (and they say u can be borderline as a child lmao) and even though i made it super obvious, my mom didn't realize it was like a legit disorder and just thought i was an angsty kid, so it went by mostly ignored. my friends thought i was just emo. which like i am lol but yeah it just wasn't a Serious thing. if id had the opportunity i wouldve totally tried to kill myself multiple times between ages 9-14. by the time i technically had a suicide attempt (i say technically bc i started to overdose but stopped taking pills before it got Official Overdose levels, which i explicitly told the doctors but they still labeled it as an attempt smh) i was 15 and tbh i wasn't as suicidal as when i was 13 at that point, it was just the first time i felt i really had the opportunity. (like i mean there's always some way to off urself, if i was really dedicated i couldve just drank antifreeze or smth but i was not so suicidal that i wanted to go painfully lol) so yeah even though the severity of my symptoms has increased, im way better at dealing with it, and id say im a pretty happy and positive person overall, and im really lucky that im able to handle my symptoms so well. it's why i can pass for almost neurotypical in public lol. also why i dont have some of the major "signs" of mental illness, cause they have to do with how ur disorder affects ur relationships and socialization, but im very good at keeping that stuff away from others. except for my mom. my poor mom deals with so much of my shit
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