#im a big procrastinator but I can post them eventually
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whosthere54 · 4 months ago
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Hey hey hey chat what if I told you I have the stuff sitting in my cart for the Icarus cosplay hey what if I told you that I’m starting on some of the prop pieces hey hey he-
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tinykonig · 2 years ago
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Ghost x reader headcannons
im so glad you guys are enjoying these??? i love making them and its helping me procrastinate finals :) as always these are written for afab, and sometimes include references feminine terms. if you like how i write for ghost, send me a lil request and i might turn it into something :)
NSFW indicated in post 🤍
Genuinely it takes fucking forever for Ghost to admit having feelings for you. He is in denial for soooo long
What finally makes him crack is getting critically injured on a mission and all he can think about is how he should have told you
He resolves to tell you once he comes to in the hospital. He figures it would be stupid to waste any more time
You come to see him and you think he doesn’t want you there because he can’t make eye contact with you and that’s rare for him
You just kind of awkwardly apologize for coming and turn to leave and he just barks out “Wait.”
When Ghost is getting something off his chest he gets it all out. So he’s just very bluntly telling you that you were all he could think about when he thought he was going to die and he doesn’t see the point in hiding how he feels any longer
At the end of his speech he looks at you and you are getting a little emotional and this motherfucker has the audacity to be like, “… why are you crying?”
Like you just spilled your heart out to me give me a break!!!
His entire body relaxes when you tell him you feel the same way. He didn’t even realize how tense he had been
You don’t leave his side until he’s recovered and able to fully function back to normal
He doesn’t say thank you with his words but rather his actions. His eyes tell you everything anyways
Sometimes he will glance around him to make sure no one else is watching and then just lift you into the most earth shatteringly wonderful hug
Puts you down after a few seconds and returns to whatever he was doing without a word. You grew used to this eventually
So protective. Like wont even let you walk on the side of the sidewalk thats closer to the road. Puts himself between you and any dangers
You will be his passenger princess. There is no way he lets you drive sorry thats his job, he looks damn good doing it so you dont mind
(holds your hand over the center console)
Big on acts of service. Does little domestic things for you like folds your laundry while you take a nap and offers to cook dinner every other day
Stares at you when you sleep. He thinks you look so angelic and peaceful and it makes him feel all warm inside but he’s definitely scared the shit out of you a few times
Not a fan of going out a lot. He’s a homebody when he’s not in the field
The best listener!!! He will offer advice when you ask for it or will just lend you sympathy when you don’t want advice
He does have his moments where he needs his space, and if you try to push him he can get mean
After he’s recharged and feeling back to normal he is touch. starved.
Likes to spoon, likes to watch movies with you in between his legs and laying on his chest, likes standing behind you while you are doing anything and just holding your hips
He always buries his face in your neck and just breathes deep. Could drown in your scent and be happy
It takes him awhile to remove his mask freely around you because its a feeling of vulnerability that just gnaws at him
He warms up to it over time and you see his face more and more often. Loves that you act the same either way
He has dimples (fist fight me if you disagree)
He can grow a killer beard, but trims it based on your preference because he doesn’t care either way
Very thoughtful with gifts and always remembers your birthday (sometimes forgets his own)
Knows your order for every restaurant and will make sure its correct and if its not he IS letting them know. How dare they
Literally mocks whatever accent you have constantly. Playfully but he’s brutal
If you are being stubborn he is not against just picking you up and slinging you across his shoulder
Sleeps like a rock this one
Likes to watch sports on tv and catches himself cheering his team on and then gets embarrassed (its so fucking cute)
If his mask is off and he sees any exposed part of your skin- he’s biting
And then going about his business like he didn’t just bite you???? So weird
NSFW BELOW THIS POINT
The biting happens in the bedroom too, specifically when he cums. Your neck will have teeth marks
Switch, switch, switch
His bedroom eyes are soo severe , he just gives you a single half lidded stare and your clothes are coming off
He loves to degrade you, he doesn’t talk a lot but when he does he is telling you how pathetic you look crying on his cock
Loves to be degraded too :) Whines if you call him pussy drunk (because he is)
A little rough but king of aftercare
Loves watching you come undone on his fingers. Has a thing for wearing his gloves when he fingers you
OVERSTIMULATION thats all
Against the wall is a specialty of Simons
Grunts a lot, growls sometimes when he is close
You go down on him and he sometimes lets go and moans
Always returns the favor
Doesn’t do quickies or risky places
Will do about anything else
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six-of-ravens · 2 months ago
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im procrastinating dishes so time to make a cheeseballs self improvement post:
in September I made progress on unfucking my sleeping schedule, started doing hobbies more regularly including writing, and developed a basic skincare routine that's actually working. excellent progress!
goals for October/the rest of winter are to continue with those and also add some new things (not sure if I'll stick with all of them, but I want to see how much I can do and some of them are as simple as "don't buy that thing" so):
start waking up at 7:15 instead of 7:30 on office days (goal is eventually to wake up at 7, which will give me plenty of extra time during the winter when traffic is shitty) and 8 instead of as close to 9 as I can get on WFH days. don't need to get out of bed at 8, just be awake, bc stumbling to the computer bleary-eyed is a horrible way to start the day, shockingly. also start going to bed by 12 on WFH/weekend nights.
go on an Unnecessary/Impulse Spending Ban, with a few caveats: i can spend money on ✨ experiences✨ like tickets to a show or park or whatever, i can buy ✨fancy✨ food from the farmers market or cocktail supplies as long as I have a recipe planned for it, I can treat myself to lunch/coffee on Fridays (that's my motivation to go for a walk lol) and my Thursday Final Office Day PSL Treat, I can buy gifts/make donations, annnnd I can buy up to 3 "hobby items" per month, ie. a book, DVD, puzzle/miniature kit, wool, etc. but ONLY 3 items, not 3 trips to the store *glares at my inner child*. If I REALLY REALLY want an Unnecessary Item I need to come up with a good, real reason why I need it, and none of them can be "because I want it" or "I'm sad and need a pick-me-up." or "I need to kill time so I'll go into the bookstore whoops now I have an armful of new releases!"
start meal planning for once in my life. I've never really done it, aside from that time a couple years ago when I was making 1 recipe a week to replace my takeout habit lol. I need to reduce my grocery bill and food waste though so if I have a list of staples I always keep in stock and then plan what recipes I want to make on what days it'll be easier to only buy what I need. currently I just like, write "veg x3" on my grocery list and then buy 5 random vegetables bc I have no plan and think I need more, and eat maybe half of them.....
in addition to that: make a list of recipes I want to make this fall/winter (both old favourites and new ones) and plan to make one special cooking and one baking thing per week, in addition to a simpler recipe Tuesday night so I can eat leftovers Weds/Thurs and something I can freeze for lunches. currently trying to map out a schedule for this since sadly I think I am a Schedule Girlie and if I don't have one I simply Won't do the thing. Also while my freezer is not very big, I think I can make/freeze 2-3 weeks of lunches (about 9 tupperwares) so I might start doing what my aunt does and batch-cooking those instead of scrambling to make lunch every week
annnnd also to reduce my grocery bill, stop buying random vitamin water/iced tea/sparkling water/whatever. the silly little drink culture in this household is getting out of control and the cost is adding up even if I do buy sale stuff. Instead I'm gonna try and make more coffee/hot chocolate/tea....and drink more water. I am badly dehydrated. The one caveat is alcohol, since I don't buy a whole lot of it and it's a weekend treat rather than a daily indulgence. Also my Princess Bride cookbook has a bunch of cocktail recipes I want to try so I'm going to make some of those for fun.
another food based one, but I want to also stop buying so much junk food, particularly chips, and try making my own snacks/desserts more often. Basically my Silly Little Treats recently have been junk food-based and it's starting to just become a habit and not a treat I'm actually excited about, so it's time to try something new (and healthier bc hooo boy between the all the butter pasta, sweet drinks, and chips, I'm going to die of heart disease at 35)
on that note: try and develop an exercise habit. much like my writing one, my goal is 5 days a week, and I can take up to 2 days off but not in a row. any exercise is good (walk, exercise bike, yoga, whatever) right now, but I'm hoping to refine my goals in the future when I find what makes me feel the best. I would like to start forcing myself to go for a walk on at least one office day as long as the weather is good. maybe I'll do that Thursday at lunch and then I can buy my Reward PSL.....
actually *finish* a craft before starting a new one, especially when it comes to knitting. visiting my grandma reminded me that knitting and crochet can be super basic and still rewarding! she's knitted a whole garbage bag of baby hats/blankets/swaddlers, toques, and scarves to donate to charity (baby stuff to the hospital and the rest to a shelter) and like. yeah it's all basic with no fancy patterns or colorwork or whatever but it's *done*. i need to step back with that hobby and just focus on finishing things while learning the basics instead of lusting after everyone's gorgeous sweaters lol.
not really a goal but a change: going to try alternating 1 new book/series with 1 reread going forward, so I stop feeling FOMO for whatever I'm not reading at the moment lol
Lock the amount of time I'm allowed to use my social apps/news app at 3 hours (which I think I can do with the StayFree app). that should be plenty of time to keep up with things and prevent me from doing what I'm doing now which is spending almost a full hour blathering.
Anyway, yeah. Trying to use the delicious fall season as a springboard into better eating habits, spend less specifically on impulse buys I'm making bc I'm bored/depressed/anxious, and continue to do more hobbies and Self Care better.
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florence-is-gay · 11 months ago
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hiii!!! im a fan of your work and was wondering of you could write some hcs of the mercs with an autistic s/o?? i struggle with autism and reading these things kinda helps. thx sm!!! :ooo
Absolutely!! I'm so glad you enjoy my headcanons, i haven't written any for quite a while lmao
--EDIT FROM YEARS LATER OML-- I had this sitting in my drafts completed with all mercs except for the last 3 listed, between procrastination and life and falling out of the fandom I guess I just eventually forgot... Once in a blue moon I'd come back to this post and think... "I'm sorry tomatosoopp... I will finish this for you one day. Maybe not now, or later, maybe not even soon... but... eventually. I promise." I hope things are going well for you, you've probably long forgotten your ask but I genuinely hope seeing this finally answered will bring you joy and make your day <3
I know it's late to say it, but Merry Christmas and Happy New year! Perhaps you can consider this as a long overdue gift, from me to you! I hope this year will bring you lots of wonderful and amazing things &lt;3 Love, Flo (P.S., I also added a bit to the shorter blurbs at the beginning... To make up for all that time! Now enjoy your long awaited post, my friend! <3)
SCOUT
Scout is pretty ADHD, and we all know how that's the peanut butter to his S/O's jelly. He gets excited with you about the things you love! And stims? Oh yeah. Leg bouncing, pen chewing, and the likes. So he won't judge you when you excitedly flap your hands or smack your thighs/any available surface. In fact, he'll share his fidgets with you when he notices you're feeling nervous or stressed. Sometimes he forgets you are extremely empathetic and sensitive to high energy or strong moods, so if he gets too excited or angry or anything of the sort he will do his best to calm himself as to not overwhelm or overstimulate you!
SNIPER
Sniper's not much of a talker, but he loves to listen to you ramble! Sometimes just the sound of your voice makes him smile! Also since he knows how tactile you are, he doesn't mind letting you feel his scars, tracing your fingers along and across them. He also lets you scritch his stubble, and he finds your reaction both amusing and adorable! Also, if you love nature, Sniper is your perfect guy! He'll take you for long walks in the woods or along hiking trails, not minding if you are slow or simply taking your time to stop and observe every little detail <3
ENGINEER
Engie loves all your little quirks!! He thinks you're the cutest darn thing on the planet! He'll definitely build you some fun fidgets and stimmy things! He also has earmuffs for when he's working with machinery, if you're feeling overstimulated he'll let you borrow them! Additionally, he enjoys relaxing with you by a fire just to chill out and play his instruments! He knows you have a fondness for music, so he tries to learn your favorite songs! He is also the type to always check on you to make sure you eat and drink <3
HEAVY
Like Sniper, Heavy isn't much for words. He doesn't mind silence, so he's perfectly okay with you zoning out, staring into space, or just lost in your thoughts. He also understands when you have a hard time wording things. He still struggles with English. And if you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed, he'll scoop you up in his big arms and hold you like a lil baby, and gently whisper words of praise and comfort. He'll also let you take naps in his arms <3 Like Engineer, he likes to make sure you don't skip meals. He doesn't always understand that some food textures are unpleasant, but he tries his best to find something you like!
DEMOMAN
Demo LOVES cuddles. He won't admit it to the other guys, but he finds it soothing. He knows you love to lay your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. He also gives great hugs! You told him once that you enjoy physical pressure on your body, so he'll give you extra-firm hugs, and sometimes he'll lay right on top of you to take a nap! He definitely will gift you some weighted blankets, along with some fun beanbags just to mess with. He also makes sure any touch on you is firm and grounding. Additionally, if you have a habit of sleeping a lot, it's no worry for this man! He's perfectly happy to pass out with you for 12+ hours and STILL have room for naps! As long as they are with you, he is happy <3
PYRO
Pyro themselves are nonverbal autistic, so honestly to them, you are the most normal person out there! They have hyperactive tendencies and struggle to pay attention to anything too long, but when it comes to you, you have their full attention! (To the best of their ability, anyway!) They will happily share their love for fire and cute things with you, though they also love when you share your hyperfixations with them! Not only that, but they will often bring you gifts relating to the things they know you love! Should you ever feel sad, touch-starved, or understimulated, just know Pyro will always be by your side to give you the best cuddles and hugs you could ask for!
MEDIC
If you are someone who is always psyched to learn new things, Medic is your perfect guy! He knows a lot about physical and psychological health, including autism! He will take time out of his day to educate you on your brain and why it works the way it does! He will do his absolute best to keep you informed so you can better understand yourself! (Even if at times you get tired of his lecturing) He also knows that you are very hands-on when it comes to many projects, so he will allow you to assist with simple tasks in his lab! He also knows you struggle with your health habits, aka hygiene, sleeping, eating, drinking, etc., so expect this man to be on your back! He wants to make sure you take good care of yourself <3
SPY
Spy is a bit of a tricky one. He seems completely unbothered by all of your quirks, almost to the point where you wonder if he even notices them. Rest assured, he certainly does! But he does his best not to bring attention to it unless you are the first to bring it up. He wants you to feel as though your autism doesn't define you, after all, you are more than your disability! At times he may challenge you to break from any bad or unhelpful habits, such as nail biting and pulling hair, or more serious matters like harmful stims when you get upset. Unrelated, he knows you are a person of the senses. So any gift to you is always a high-quality item: scented soaps and lovely colognes/perfumes, clothing that is soft and pleasant to touch, weighted blankets, and any type of small heavy object that may be grounding. Not to mention foods he knows you'll eat, since taste and texture can sometimes be an issue. Of course there is more, and if you don't like scented things and find soft textures on your body displeasing like some, he will accommodate for that as well! And lastly: Don't let him catch ANYONE making fun of you! They may not live to see the sun tomorrow.
SOLDIER
Honestly... He might also be autistic. No one knows for sure, but even if he was, he would loudly and proudly deny it. Loudly seems to be something the two of you do well-- you may find yourself struggling to control your volume in your excitement, but that's okay! He does too! Though he may also partly be hard of hearing from all of those rocket blasts... Regardless, the two of you seem to match each other's energy to near perfection- Yelling and screaming about nonsense, singing loud and off-key, even just making animal sounds or random noises incomparable to anything on this planet... Still he enjoys your company, neither of you really seem to be able to get a handle on social cues, but to heck with those! They're all confusing anyway! At least you understand each other! Additionally, the two of you may also struggle to remember things, especially short-term. But you're a good dynamic, always reminding each other what was forgotten! (...Just don't act surprised when he wants to recite to you the Declaration of Independence by heart for the 5th time that day.) And lastly, if you ever tell him you're autistic, surely he will tell you that you are American. And should you attempt to explain what autism is, more than likely he will assure you that you aren't (even if you clearly are-) and that you're perfect! He sees a lot of himself in you and he thinks you are the best thing since the birth of America <3
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pop-roxs · 2 years ago
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hoo okay I can already tell this is gonna be long but manga thoughts!! i only read up to roughly 150 I think (Also hi hi I’m off anon! anxiety has been overcome >D<)
quick lil context of me even getting into this also! so my roomie and I have a tradition of watching really bad animes during finals weeks and this time my rookie suggested we watched black butler 2 (still so funny it’s just 2 not season two not book of ___ no. just two. Peak comedy) first half of that was laughably bad and then like ep 7 onward it was frustratingly good. Some bizarre pacing some bizzare writing choices but I liked it overall. anyways over winter break out of nowhere I got manga spoilers on my tiktok for Agni’s death and. It emotionally devastated me bc I loved him sm bc of the like one ep in 2 where he appeared. i told my roomie that and we decided to like actually watch the good parts of the anime so I could get a taste of the actual plot (and eventually we watched s1 lmao)
so yeah that bit didn’t impact me as much when I actually read it but 😭 Agni I miss you dearly you’re like one of the only people I’d trust to hold my drink in this series I KNOW you would take care of it and not spill anything. Also, I read the entire (post campania) manga while procrastinating studying for my organic chemistry exam bc chemistry is a pain in the ass and I didn’t want to look at it
right um. Other arcs. so the school arc has some BIZARRE pacing- (and i never got used to the just casually dropping the F word even if it was used iba like historical context) I was half skimming some of the pages bc I thought it was gonna be basically a fluff filler arc so that end caught me off guard- deffo enjoyed the soma content though! i sure hope he stays happy and nothing awful happens to make him stop smiling! hahah fuck.
Emerald witch arc is kinda funny to me. like yeah, okay queen of England, send this 13 (14?? I forgor) year old child to a different country to deal with werewolves. this isn’t even ur country girly what. Wolf and miss sullivan (can’t spell her first name) r fun characters I like their addition a lot. Could’ve done without the uh. weird scenes with sullivan but. whatever. (The scenes with finny taking care of ciel also were so sweet Omg I will cry- finny is probably one of my top 5 charas I love himmmmm he scares me tho )
that being said I fuckcking RECOGNIZED that shit was chemicals as soon as I saw that circle thing oh my FuckKING GOD. I literally put down my phone and stopped reading for a good while. I’m reading this manga to procrastinate my ochem I did not need it to insert itself like that >:’(((( it was good though I liked the arc a a lot (my roommate fucking burst out laughing when she saw me being angy and asked why.)
Sascha and Walmart will (sorry sir you are just not memorable) were cute! Hope we get more content of them in the future, or just more reaper lore. Please. I’m going insane all I want is lore (Also my roomie had already told me abt the reaper backstory so that didn’t rlly surprise me). Will and grell showing up for like one chapter was funny as hell, you know will was pissed bc that whole convo could’ve totally been an email or a pigeon or whatever. i missed them though so im not complaining
Idk what to call the next arc. the return of the school guys was… funny ig?? i have to be honest I kinda disconnect whenever they appear I just don’t really care for them 😭 the whole band group off was so funny though and the tonal whiplash was something I was NOT prepared for. It wasn’t as jarring as the paving of the school arc but like hWUH THATS A LOT OF PLOT AND BIG REVEALS HAPPENING REALLY FAST NOW-
love othello though. I’m a forensics chemistry major and I love the forensics part of it significantly more than chemistry so seeing a funny guy doing that is so very !!! ya :D also love the dynamic with Grelle. they’re both trans and besties you can’t change my mind- ALSO OTHELLO JUST . THROWING HIS SCYTGE AND THEN BIDING BEHIND GRELLE. Love him. ronnies still my fav dont get me wrong I am endeared with his talk-shit-while-getting-his-ass-beat mentality but othello is very close behind
wish we had more reaper lore . I would kill to know these guys backstories- Ronald and sascha seem so much you her compared to their coworkers it eats at my brain. sascha especially like aaaaaa kid what happened for you to end up here :(? MAN (also I could fight abt the reaper lore for so long. they don’t deserve this. this shits unfair. AGH…
i had more stuff that I wanted to say but forgot. sorry if this isn’t very understandable i just wrote as I thought of things- basically. reapers my beloved . I’m begging for lore please . soma my king I hope you’re okay. when will Ronald come back PLEASE he’s been gone since like campania 😭
BRO ROOMMATE ANON REVEAL!! i hope you dont mind me still using the roommate anon tag,,
agnis death def threw me off. i wasnt expecting yana to kill him off, especially after having him around for so long. that whole scene was very surprising. and yes i agree with you!! hes probably the most wholesome character in black butler next to some others like the phantomhive servants and soma.
i actually quite liked the school arc(and a lot of people in the fandom would agree w me)! but i get how you wouldnt. i personally was only mostly focusing since i just wanted to get back to grelle T^T.
i didnt really like emerald witch at first. i was mad when it had the honor of being the 100th chapter. but its grown on me since(n yeah those scenes were weird..).
i LOOOOVEEE SASCHA!!!!!! THEYRE SO CUTEEEEE X33333 they remind me of my best friend since they both have that same cheery vibe. like little guy is just making the best out of their afterlie and havin some genuine fun. i fw it. grelles outfit was also sooo hot in that chapter gaw dayum. i want a piece of that reaper PLEASE
you can call the return of the school guys the boy band arc. it was weird but i really enjoyed it.
i find it funny how everyone automatically says that othello is trans. one look at the silly science man provokes the Feeling.
trust me man, everyone wants more reaper lore. i am clawing at yanas feet and begging her to tell me what in the ever living fuck happened to grelle in her time as a human. WHAT THE FUCK KINDA LIVES DID THEY LIVE. WHAT DROVE THEM TO SUICIDE.
i understood everything you wrote, dw!! :3 im hoping soma is ok as well </3
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ratmannn · 1 year ago
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Ratman's OC Masterlist
I'll be real, this isn't gonna be finished by a longshot when i post it, I just have too many god damn ocs so I'm probably just gonna update this in the future. I'm just gonna start with ocs that are on my mind recently and I've been drawing
Click the readmore to see em (not super intense but im gonna put a bodyhorror warning here just in case since Necronomicom is at the top and I'm adding pictures where I can)
Current Fandoms Listed
Necronomi.com (Original Universe)
Dungeons and Dragons (Incomplete)
Wizard101
Whats up its time for cringe, these are gonna be organized by fandom/setting
Necronomi.com
This is a setting I made with few characters so far but they're basically just monsters existing in a modern setting (heavy inspo from Trevor Henderson I'll admit)
Tadpole (she/it)
Formerly a human, Tadpole is a "demon" that feeds on nightmares. She's just very very big and honestly turned out kind of motherly, since it replaces nightmares with good dreams by nature and will sing to people having nightmares if it can't reach them.
Here is she
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Bandage (any, i usually default to it/its)
Bandage is another "demon" but instead of coming from a human, Bandage was originally a fern. It doesn't have a single true form, but the one constant between its forms are bandages wrapped around its face, only revealing one eye if any
Its resting form is closest to a true form and its a potted fern and it also has a humanoid "commimunication" form it plays with sometimes (both pictured)
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DnD
Maybe eventually there'll be more than DnD in here, this is more just TTRPG characters
Nowhere (he/him)
My sweet Teifling Warlock (very original i know) Nowhere. He's half elven, hence his ears, and completely swagless. He is dying more than half of the time because his pact makes him violently ill. He originally wanted to be a wizard like his adoptive lesbian moms but that didn't work out and he got a little desperate.
In specific circumstances he's Asmodeus himself's accident son and also stole Strahd von Zarovich's husband with his loser rizz
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Wizard101
I love this game it sucks ass. I have a fucking LAUNDRYLIST of various worldbuilding headcanons if anyone gets curious
Anyway, onto the wizards
Zachary Wyrmtail (he/him)
My Thaumaturge. He's a prior main who has taken the sidelines for now while I procrastinate Zafaria. Level 71.
Hes a resident of the Spiral since he was young, but was originally taken from Earth. Taken to none other than Marleybone unfortunately. He grew up there with barely restrained talent in ice magic but he got an Elsa complex about it because Marleybone is dumb and hates magic. He's better now. Still British but he's cool and very sunshiney
Depicted at 21 years old, still in school and simultaneously the only competent detective to ever join (and leave) the Marleybone Police Force
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Joshua Inkweaver (he/him)
My Conjurer. Current main at level 36. No idea what I'm gonna do when I hit Zafaria on him.
He's a resident of Wizard City, born and raised, and grew up on Cyclops Lane. He has three younger sisters, Kestrel, Holly and Angela. He loves writing fiction and dreams of one day hopes to write a story so legendary that there come to be Myth spells based around it. As you can imagine, he is rather pretentious about it, but he LOOOVES to help his juniors when they're too afraid to ask Professor Drake. Complete motherhen. He works part time at the Wizard City Library, which really expedites his tutoring process since he knows exactly where everything is. Every bossfight with him consists of him cussing the boss out and calling them a jackass and moron in various ways until he finds the right words to make them cry. His favorite evokation.
For my artistic purposes, Joshua is the same age as Zachary and in the same grade. In game though, I have him at about 17 and in Mooshu.
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Groups to add
Ensemble Stars
Diablo 3
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holtzyrans · 3 years ago
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EXCUSE ME LETTERKENNY AU?????
HELL YEAH BABEY
so back in novemberish i got a call that i was fired from my job while i was on my way to end things with the guy i’d been seeing, and i ended up with like. nothing but free time for a month and watched all of letterkenny. the fic idea’s been in my head for ages and i dont think i’ll ever actually write it? so here’s a basic bulleted outline also this post 100% helped inspire it
Jack is Wayne, obviously. He’s fresh off a breakup with Camilla, and he’s doing Bad. (Camilla is fine in this au because i have a weird soft spot for Pretty Blonde Girl who literally only appeared once in comic. She just broke up w him because she wasn’t feeling it anymore)
Shitty is Squirrely Dan. He’s a few months into a women’s studies course and he wants to tell everyone he can about it.
Ransom and Holster and Jonesy and Riley. I don’t feel like I need to explain this one at all. I didn’t know which of them was which until like season 3 that’s all im saying
Lardo is Katy. She’s dating Ransom and Holster, who aren’t dating each other (or are they? no one’s quite sure, least of all them. Threesomes have been had but we don’t need to talk about it, rans, it’s fine. Our dicks never touched, okay?)
This is where things diverge from canon. It’s not gonna be a retelling of letterkenny, more just adopting some of their tropes/character archetypes. Also this is gonna get long so i’m putting the rest of it under a cut
Chowder and Farmer are Mr and Mrs McMurray. Less of the general obnoxiousness though and more just every time we see them they can’t keep their hands off each other. Lardo and Farmer have also hooked up at some point you can’t take this away from me. Chowder and Jack have no idea how to interact with each other but are also very close friends. They don’t understand it either
Dex is the town bartender/handyman. He has also hooked up with both Chowder and Farmer because I deserve this.
Nursey is the Bonnie McMurray character. He works part time with Dex at the bar, where they fight/flirt constantly. Every time he’s mentioned there is a sigh and a “Derek Nurse....” Everyone in the town would like very much to kiss him. He’s not related to Chowder and Farmer at all, and has also hooked up with them because i deserve this 
Whiskey and Tango are Stewart and Roald. I have nothing to expand on here specifically I just think it’s funny.
I have nothing for Dary or Tanis or Ford but none of their characters really mesh. I don’t know. Someone else can figure this out.
ANYWAYS
Regular town life gets turned upside down when American baker Eric Bittle comes into town
He’s on a tour across Canada and the US finding recipes for his upcoming cookbook, which is all based on small town cuisine across north america, and he ends up in Samwell, Ontario
This is not a town that is known for anything except for their pretty good community hockey team. they got second place at the Province finals. It was a big deal. They definitely don’t have any recipes their town is known for, but Bitty ends up at the local bar, where he meets Nursey and Dex, who introduce him to and Chowder and Farmer, who introduce him to Jack and the crew, and then he just sort of. doesnt leave?
He’s supposed to be working on his book but we all know how Bitty is with procrastination, and also there is this very handsome gruff farmer who’s always holding a german shepherd puppy and bitty may or may not ignore calls from his agent for like a month, until she ends up driving into middle of nowhere Ontario to make sure he hasn’t been murdered or kidnapped
So Bitty leaves, and finishes his book, and there’s a whole chapter on Samwell that gets scrapped because there’s not actually any recipes in it but it’s so charming that somehow it gets turned into its own whole half memoir of his time there half picture of life in small town canada and him and Jack keep in very close touch (you know, for research)
and then eventually he has to go back to town to finish the book and him and jack kiss and he stays forever and they throw super soft birthday parties and jack beats up assholes and homophobes and lardo eventually dumps ransom and holster for shitty and ransom and holster realize they may or may not have been using her as an excuse to kiss each other and everyone is happy
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seaoflove · 4 years ago
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I am in a never ending cycle of procrastinating and even though I always try to tell myself to do stuff, I can't concentrate or even start something.. do u have any sorts of advice or something it would be wonderful!! I really do appreciate all ur posts <3 they helped me a lot
as someone who’s struggled with crippling procrastination i get you <3 the only thing that’s really worked for me is developing healthy habits & tweaking them to my liking:
a go to tool is the five minute rule: “i will go and do x task for five minutes and then i can stop” (the thing is that it’s very easy to tell yourself to do a task for five minutes, but once you sit down and do it & get some momentum, you want to keep going, which is great. a fun way to trick yourself to get stuff done)
it’s also helped me to break up a big task into smaller ones (and write them down!! the dopamine from checking off something on your to do list is real!!) for example, maybe just “write essay” becomes ten smaller tasks, like: 1. find sources for research, 2. read a chapter for arguments, 3. plan out pharagraphs, 4. write pharagraps one, etc etc. (ruby granger on yt has some great resources for this!)
those “study with me” videos are really great too. it gives you some structure and can help you focus when working. and it’s much easier to choose to study when you know that after 30 mins of focused work you get a break. (the pomodoro method saved me a lot of nervous breakdowns over my workload in the beginning of lockdown <3)
getting a planner has also helped me a lot. it feels a lot more doable when you have all the things you need to do on a a piece of paper rather than just having them in your head. im not saying buying a planner will cure procrastination... but it sure can help. (i love notion too <3 great for organization)
treat yourself!!! i love reading so i always tend to bargain with myself like “when im finished with my essay i can read for an hour”. so try give yourself something to look forwards to after completing a task :-)
this tip is kind of weird, but at the time i tried it i was really desperate: light a specific scented candle for when you’re working. continue do this and only use it for focused work!! eventually your brain will associate the scent with work, and it will be easier to get into that “flow state” (it’s technically pavlovian conditioning lol.... i blame my psych teacher for this idea)
lastly i think procrastination is a complex issue, and it can’t hurt to try and resolve it with some introspection abt your thought-patterns & habits, but if i can give u one concrete rec it’s the book atomic habits (there’s a free audiobook on spotify!)
if u want more tips send me another ask <3 i hope you will find something that helps!!!
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hyukiee · 4 years ago
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Chapter 6: Withdrawal
warnings: cussing, drug mention, withdrawals
so im just the worst procrastinator ever.. i have a hard time keeping with stories but i absolutely love this one so i’ll do better for yall ❤️
“What? What is it? Take a picture creep it will last longer,” you rolled your guys at Taehyung who had been staring at you with his cute box smile for what felt like forever. It was making you blush. “Can I?” He exclaimed like a little child about to open up a christmas gift. You sighed playing rolling your eyes again. “So what now? I mean like once we land, what am I supposed to do?” It was stupid on your part to not fully think this through but for once you let your heart make a decision for you. It felt nice but it made you so anxious. A xanax would of been nice right now. “You can stay with us for as long as you want, we’ll help you look into schools and we’ll start from there,” he grabbed your hand and held it like he was afraid you would jump out the plane before it even took off. This is really making you anxious. You were too consumed with your feelings to even think about making the smart decision of packing some xanax for, well, this. You would have to get it medically prescribed to you in South Korea, you don’t take that place for a druggie world. You’ve never had to go through a withdrawal but something tells you the guys won’t let any of your shit slide.”So how about that picture baby?”
“So y/n is going with the manager to the other exit, the fans are all outside you know how it is,” Namjoon spoke to the group before they walked out of the plane. “Is this my life now?” You only half jokingly whispered to Taehyung. “Not for long babygirl, i’ll post that picture of us eventually,” he whispered back winking at you before kissing your cheek. “See you at the dorm!” He waved at you frantically like a little boy going to his first day at school. Cute.
“Korea really is so different,” you spoke to yourself looking around at the neighborhood you and the manager parked in. Definitely different from California. Seoul was beautiful though, the city lights at night must be a sight. You walked up to the dorm and realized it was a lot different on the inside. The outside made it seem like some average middle class place, which was probably the point but the inside was beautiful. BTS is rich, most definitely but you would of guessed that when you got a mimosa on the private plane. “Mm, I can get used to having you here,” Taehyung wrapped his arms around your waist kissing your neck. You tried to make a response but started realizing something was off. You felt cold but it almost seemed like you were sweating. “What’s wrong?” When you tried to speak you felt something come up from your throat. You pushed Taehyung away and ran to the sink in the kitchen and threw up. “Fuck,” you gagged continuously before you threw up again. “Did the plane make you sick?” Taehyung asked rubbing your back with one hand and grabbing your hair in the other. “I don’t know, maybe, i’m fine I just need to go to a doctor and get some xanax or something,” throwing up made your anxiety sky rocket and it almost seemed like you were starting your first ever withdrawal. “What the fuck y/n, I thought you realized you can’t do that shit here, what are you thinking?” It sounded like Taehyung was scolding you like some child. You had no energy in you to argue with him right now. Your whole body was screaming at you to get something, anything in your system. “Jesus fucking christ,” you rubbed your forehead before turning around walking out the dorm, maybe accidentally slamming the door.
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but is everything okay” Yoongi walked out right when you left bring Tae’s attention to him. “This is gonna be hard, that’s for sure,” Taehyung laughed sarcastically. “If she’s going to the doctor for it that means she wouldn’t be doing anything illegal. She might actually need it. I’ll tell you now though, being someone with anxiety, they won’t give her or anyone Xanax,” Yoongi tried to calm Taehyung’s nerves, he was very obviously frustrated but he didn’t really need to be. He started to feel bad as he thought about it more. He knows you have pretty bad anxiety and his hyung was right, you said you would go to the doctor, not the streets. “Is y/n okay?” Jimin asked walking into the dorm. At least your still out there. “She’s fine, just a little plane sick, Taehyung resolved Jimin’s concern right before you walked in with the rest of the members. “We were just talking about having some drinks to welcome y/n, what do you all think?” Namjoon asked the three guys enthusiastically knowing no one would say no but Taehyung desperately wanted to. The last thing he needs right now is you being drunk and pissy. 
“Guyssss, thank you so much for beinging me here, this is great,” you spoke hugging as many members as you could after taking another big swig of your drink. You were really drunk and absolutely loving it. You noticed Taehyungs glares a long time ago but you didn’t care. You did but you were mad at him for trying to change you. Just because you came here doesn’t mean your just going to stop these habits you’ve had for literally years. He’s being delusional. You made eye contact with him from across the room and quickly turned around to walk the other way, almost completely losing your balance in the process. “Y/n are you okay?” Taehyung ran to you trying to keep you from falling. “I’m fucking fine,” you pushed him away feeling less than fine but your stubbornness kept you from accepting his help. The second you said that though you felt yourself about to throw up and ran to the bathroom only barely making it. “Y/n... i’ll take you to the doctor tomorrow, i’m sorry,” Taehyung got on his knees and rubbed your shoulders as weakly nodded before throwing up again.
“Hyung, i’m gonna miss practice today, I told y/n i’d take her to the doctor,” Tae rubbed the back of his neck as he whispered to Namjoon in the kitchen. “Is she okay?” “She will be, hopefully,” Taehyung sighed walking back to his room before his hyung could respond.
This would be far from how you’ve imagined withdrawals to be like. Your body felt paralyzed, every bone in you ached beyond belief. You had been throwing up all night and sleepless Taehyung stayed by your side the whole time. He felt bad walking back into his room to see you finally sound asleep knowing he had to wake you up if you wanted to get to the doctor on time. “Y/n.. you need to get up so we can take you to the doctor,” His heart melted seeing your nose scrunched up as you attempted to stretch, the pain you were in was very visably noticeable. Tae started to feel a sense of guilt, he didn’t think about how this would happen by having you come to Korea with them. “Do you need the bathroom before we go?” “If I throw up one more time I might actually throw up my insides,” your voice was raspy, hair was tangled beyond belief and your face looked lifeless but Taehyung still blushed and his stomach fluttered as he helped you up. “Well, don’t throw up in my car,” He gave you his box smile making you laugh partially rolling your eyes.
“So we found cocaine, xanax, ecstasy-“ “The list will go on, I know i’m withdrawaling from drugs,” you instantly felt bad for being snappy with the doctor but he probably understood. “Is there anything she can take to get through this?” Tae asked licking his lips and folding his arms, he was so attractive caring for you, it made you blush. “Unfortunately, if she wants to get clean, she can’t take anything. Frankly, with everything in her system i’d recommend rehab,” You scoffed. “Yah, i’m not 12, you can talk to me, the patient,” the doctor gave Taehyung a look before looking at you. His look screamed ‘fucking foreigners’ but fuck him. “Miss, I won’t perscribe you any anxiety medication until you come in again and you’re clean from all the drugs in your system,” “He can’t do that can he?” you turned toward Taehyung but he didn’t give you a response. “I have reason to believe there could be potential abuse if I prescribe you this drug so I have a right to deny you, for the time being.” The doctor gave his final words before bowing and leaving the room. Taehyung sighed before grabbing both your hands, “It’s okay… we’ll all be here for you for the time being and we’ll come back when your better.” You hated his optimism.
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serialreblogger · 4 years ago
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some of your post/reblogs were so relatable to me that more and more I think I may have ADHD (I'm like, at least 70% sure of this and the 30% is me searching for a psychiatrist/therapist that I can trust/afford, anyway) so, since your how to essay post Im talking myself to ask if you have some study tips or tips to focus, anything to help, really. I'm in college and I can't focus to read 2 paragraphs which makes me anxious and makes me procrastinate because I can't study and I HAVE to study so I avoid everything but then I think NOW I have even less time to study and I got stuck in this circle. And because I can't read anything I also cant bullshit my way writing papers that I have to so I don't do this too, so I'm just spiraling more and more with this which also doesn't help with the depression. And I'm so, so SORRY to dump my problems on you (this isn't my intention here) but if you have some tips or don't mind talking about what you do to study I really appreciate it with all my heart.
oh friend, i’m so sorry to hear you’re goin through that, it’s EXTREMELY relatable tho. everything you just wrote basically sums up my entire first year of university (just add in a couple dozen spiralling panic attacks on the basement floor and you’ll be me), and while i wish i had advice i could promise would solve the issue, i don’t... know? that i would recommend doing exactly what i did? because while i made it through university with ridiculously good grades, i also exacerbated a pre-existing anxiety disorder to the point where i literally could not bear being alive for a while there.
but for whatever it’s worth, and bearing in mind that you need to prioritize your own well-being WAY above whatever grades you get on a stupid piece of paper, here’s some tips on how to get through course readings, based on what i’ve learned through blood, tears, trial and error:
don’t read the full two paragraphs, to start. ADHD makes reading academic articles hell, but (and i genuinely don’t know if this is possible for anyone else, the chemical cocktail of debilitating anxiety that was my brain at the time made me do things i otherwise couldn’t and definitely shouldn’t) i did manage to finagle a way to make it work for me.
See, the thing about academic papers is that they’re very nicely organized. every paragraph is dedicated to making an individual point, which is introduced at the beginning and summarized, more or less, towards the end. this means you can get a very handy-dandy trick, because here’s the thing about ADHD brains: we’re VERY GOOD at making connections.
so here’s the trick: you don’t actually have to read the paragraphs. Not the full ones, anyway.
Let’s break it down:
First, what is the overall reading meant to address? What’s the title of the book or article? Is there a heading or subtitle to provide you with extra information?
Second, what is the thesis statement in your paragraph? Yes, every essay has a thesis statement, but every paragraph also has a specific point to make, which is stated in a sort of mini-thesis, typically right at the beginning.
Once you know this thesis statement, the rest of the paragraph is just fleshing out and providing evidence for that statement. You can keep reading if you need more information to understand what the author’s getting at, but once you’ve got that thesis statement, the rest is just there to get in your way.
For neurotypicals, I think, it’s maybe necessary to read this stuff all the way through? I don’t know. What I do know is that, for ADHDers, we tend to be very, very good at making extrapolations from very minimal information, based on all the surrounding context.
You don’t need to do the full readings. You just need to read the first sentence, process what it’s saying, and skip over the rest.
(if the first sentence of the paragraph is nonsense to you, don’t panic. often the first sentence or even the whole introductory paragraph is intentionally confusing, so if there’s something you don’t understand, disregard it and move on to the second sentence, or the next paragraph.
this happens often, because a lot of academic writing is just a power play on the part of the writer. “Look How Smart I Am Compared To You, You Have To Work So Hard To Figure Out What I’m Saying,” etc. Don’t buy it, tho--the true measure of intelligence isn’t how thoroughly you can confuse someone else, it’s how effectively you can share the knowledge you have. Intelligence is useless if you can’t share it.
Do whatever you can to make it through essential readings, but don’t be intimidated by them. If you can’t understand them, it’s not because you aren’t “smart enough,” it’s because they’re badly written.)
Final notes: this process is meant to walk you through reading papers, but it also lowkey applies to a lot of insurmountable tasks in academia.
You look at a 5-page paper, look at your attention span, and immediately despair because yeah, that’s impossible. The solution is not to expand your attention span, because that’s also impossible. So, instead, don’t look at the 5 pages.
Look at an impossible task, and break it down into its smallest pieces.
Don’t look at the 5 pages, don’t even look at the first two paragraphs. Make a plan for how reading a single paragraph might be possible for you (in this case, break the paragraph down into its own components, and skim over most of them in favour of reading only the most necessary portions). Then focus on finding those one or two sentences you need in the very first paragraph. That’s doable.
You do that, and then you move onto the next.
It’s extremely difficult, especially for ADHDers, to limit your mental vision to the most immediate task and stop looking at the big picture, but it’s also necessary. If you can find a way to make the smallest tasks possible for you, you can break the big, impossible ones down until they’re made of tiny chores. You can do tiny chores. You can read one sentence, take five minutes to process it, but you can read it. That’s all you need to be able to do.
Read one sentence. Skip the rest. Move on to the next paragraph. Repeat.
That’s the real secret, the one that got me through university. It’s impossible to complete a biology lab, it’s impossible to read this entire interminable textbook, so don’t think about the impossible tasks. Think about the single step directly in front of you, focus entirely on that, and eventually, the impossible tasks will be done.
(The other thing I recommend is not taking a full courseload. Please, please, please make sure that in addition to getting your schoolwork done, you also have enough time left over for you to truly relax, and not feel guilty for doing so. If you’re getting intrusive thoughts halfway through an essay, but instead of terrible things you’re thinking about your latest favourite TV show and feel like your brain is thirsty to watch it? You’re working too hard. Take it from someone who ignored their own mental needs until it wrecked them past the point of continuing--burnout is not fun, and you deserve to protect yourself from it. Take it slow. Your wants are just as important as your needs, and both are way more important than your schoolwork.)
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musicdork · 4 years ago
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hello am SO TIRED, painting took so much outta me. i painted my room all by myself and it took about half the day wowie. but it is DONE and now i just need to decorate����🏼💪🏼 i saw ur post about only sleeping four hours and EXCUSE ME, U BEST BE HAVING MORE SLEEP THAN THAT U NEED IT FOR NUTRIENTS(that makes sense) also where r my manners i just relized i have YET to send in anything about ur mans josuke??? heres a tik tok that i think u will like. i’m a silly billy 100% so—https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJbM9NGV/ i hope u have seen clone high (or at least the memes u kno)
oh i wanna read stone ocean SO BAD, but also i want to try and attempt to be a good noodle and read all the parts beforehand yknow😖 but when stone ocean anime comes out...u best be knowin..i will Look and Simp all the way.. also v nice about the rewatches!!! diu is genuinely such a feel good part, the most out of all the other parts imo. its upbeat, its colorful, its silly, gah. so good. not 2 mention those bombass ops. UNF the songs r so good. i like how ur rewatching part five :) i think vento aureo is my personal comfort part(despite the tragic events AAAAAA) the visuals and the location and the characters..so beautiful. its physically satisfying for my eyeballs to look at u know?
ohhh man not me listening to the kakyoin playlist before i went to bed last night...not me catching feelings and being IN my feelings while listening to the playlist and desperately wanting to cuddle with him as i fall asleep....n most of the songs in the playlist i knew already i felt so cool dude😎
thats awesome abt college!! and VERY NICE WITH UR DOUBLE MAJOR LIKE UHHHMMMM thats so intense??? crazy. what a smart person. u got it in the bag bro. also its my second yr in college rn, and i aspire to be a professional musician :) but the motivation IS lacking, i dont blame u. esp with covid restrictions making everyone work online and cut off different real life interactions, its fucked and screwing everyone up. no cap. but ANTWAY how was ur day?? i hope it was nice ??!?!! :) did u do anything interesting? even if it was watching tv rolled up in a blanket? (im doing that rn)
(guess who saw ur kakyoin reblogs?? and LOVED THEM??? thank u for the food..,.i am a bad noodle i need to find some fire josuke to reblog. just for u)
-from the tiredest secretive mostnt strnskslymyn andjfoeorngswo ANSON 😗😗😗🤙🏼 🥰
i got sleep dont u worry!! but hell yea, you got the big job out of the way >:D painting a room sounds tiring i,,, you poor soul hhh
I SAW THE TIKTOK
AND MY BROTHER GAVE ME A WEIRD LOOK LIKE “wtf u laughin at” he wanted to see, and he did, but he didn’t get it slkfemsnekj i didn’t get it too much either?? i’ve only seen,,, 3 or 4 episodes of clone high but i know who that Bastard is and i laughed my ass off. i’m also listening to a playlist i made for josuke atm uwu i am really glad you liked the kak playlist!! you are a Legend for knowing most of the songs. i only know some bc of the memes :’)
it’s very valid that you’re trying to read jojo chronologically. i’m just,, impatient LMAO. i plan on actually reading all of it but it’ll probably end up like how i read haikyuu,,, i’ll be fixated for a week or so, put it down for like 3 months, then remember that i wanna read it, read One (1) chapter, then put it down for another 2 months, then bLAZE THROUGH IT LMAO. reading digital manga has been kinda odd for me,, i tend to procrastinate a lot,, but yes!! part 5 has some amazing visuals and i am jealous like?? i wanna go to itally??? i’ve kinda always wanted to go i shove down my hetalia phase and i even tried to learn italian!! but,, didn’t last,, haha,, i still appreciate the culture and all that tho <3
sm...smart? homie i am failing two classes im, im no way smart i just like torturing myself i think. i can be over ambitious too sefklslek bUT YO?? YOU WANNA BE A MUSCIAN?? :0 THAT’S HELLA POG TF!!! you better invite me to your concerts in the future or i am suing you Somehow. wait do you play an instrument or do you sing?? :0 either way, you my friend are So Cool what the hell. i get to be moots with u?? im gonna cry-- i’m kinda glad covid happened only for the reason that it gave me extra scholarship money, very pog. other than that it needs to go away lmao.
but skdelk my day was Okay at most. i was sleeping for a good bit of it,, it kinda fucked up my plans for today honestly. i’ll try to get my day together eventually,, i hope your day was good dude!! am glad i can keep u well fed hehe
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maundering-marauder · 4 years ago
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Ok friends. So I’ve been lurking and posting about adhd for... a bit. More in recent months. Probably about a year ago I read a post of someone describing how adhd affects girls/women and I thought... huh, that sounds like me. And then moved right along not thinking about it again.
Because my life Is pretty together. At least it is if viewed from the outside. I have a good job, friends, and generally have my life together. But it’s a facade. I’m constantly struggling to stay on task at work. It’s like pulling teeth to sit down and focus on a big project (because we don’t really do deadline at my new job) and split the project into smaller bits and actually do it. Instead I’ll get hyper focused on TikTok or tumblr and just slack off the day. This has become exarcebated with the pandemic and working from home. I think my work life seemed out together and kinda was because I had to actively put on a front for others. But at home... I can just lay in my bed all day and do nothing. Even my personal life, it took my two years to change my registration for my car. I should have done it three months after moving but I just couldn’t t focus on doing it. It felt like a huge task and I didn’t have the energy. But, I just thought I was lazy. I was, playfully, the butt of my family’s jokes. Because I have this high-powered job, but would constantly forget important dates and buy cards to send out but never do them. I just thought I was lazy.
So, I never really thought more on adhd, because I figured I was just a lazy person and was unmotivated. And then, my youngest sister started looking into adhd for herself. She read more about it and called me one day to talk about saying, hey I think I have it, I think mom has it, and I think you have it.
I thought cool... but didn’t do much of it. Again, my work eventually got done but I was constantly behind, procrastinating, and then hating myself for it. Like that wasn’t adhd. Regardless what I read online and my sister was telling me. I grew up with people who had adhd and was told it was people who struggled in school, who couldn’t sit still, who wouldn’t stop talking. People who couldn’t do any work unless medicated. I was just lazy.
And as I started thinking on what my sister said about adhd I started really beginning to document any symptoms that I thought I was showcasing.
I forget words when talking, lose my train of thought, or just mime out what I mean because my brain can’t possibly put what I want to say into words.
I realized that driving... I need to have the music up loud and singing to it or I can’t focus on driving. I focus on the flowers on the side of the road, how beautiful the sunset is, the plane taking off. Like driving is exhausting because it’s a constant stream of: driving, driving, oooh plane, flowers, wow the sky is beautiful, ah focus on driving, watch the car in front of you, huh what does that bumper sticker say, let’s get closer, ah driving, focus on distance while driving.
I began to realize it wasn’t just work. And it wasn’t just me being lazy. There was a connecting thread that was showcasing difficulty in concentrating, starting tasks, finishing tasks, and hyper focusing.
The kicker was when I mentioned it offhand to a friend that I thought my mom had adhd because of A, B, and C. My friend literally laughed and said I do all those things. Which I realized but never realized. And being so sure when talking about someone else... and then it being pointed out that I do the same things. That was the AHA moment for me. That was about two/three weeks ago.
To sum this long post up. I got over my fear of discussing this with my doctor (I had internalized feeling like a failure if I thought I had adhd <— now we don’t have time to unpack all that in this post but woof) and talked to her last week. Let me say, I love this doctor. She’s my family practitioner and gyno which is just amazing. She’s so supportive and really listens. Which is just another ridiculous reason why I didn’t bring this up sooner. So, we talked and she agreed that I may have adhd. up. She prescribed a low dosage of adderall. I started taking it today. Which, not a lot of time for a huge amount of change and I was really working on managing my expectations.
But... just... wow. The difference in just the past day and ability to focus and not feeling exhausted for just living. And not just defaulting to scrolling through TikTok or tumblr for a whole day because I’m tired. Is just amazing. I think about a task and I get it done. Im not overthinking. It doesn’t feel like my brain is going a million miles a minute. I’m not drained after doing one thing. I’ve organized my room and my desk. My thoughts feel less jumbled. I feel more coherent when I talk. I’m not super jittery. I just don’t feel exhausted for living.
It’s only been a day but... I think this might be helping.
I know this is a long post. But I’m 32. I work for a big tech company. Like I thought I had my life together and was just lazy. I had such negative thinking. This might not be a miracle drug or fix. But... just don’t deny yourself possible treatment or options. Look into it and talk with your doctor.
I’m excited for this upcoming week and excited to see how this goes.
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flamingo-writes · 5 years ago
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Are there any specific rules?
Now that you mention it...I've been procrastinating doing my Rules Post, so, might as well use this chance to make it 🤣
• Rule #1 an the most importan: please be patient with me. I'm a very inconsistent writer, I don't usually write request in rhe order I get them. I usually write whatever my head feels more like writing. I really am, sorry for this inconvenience.
Writing
• I'm pretty chill when it comes about writing most nsfw stuff, so it'll be easier to point what I'm not comfortable with. (Same with triggering topics, and please let me know if I should tag a specific topic)
• No kinks. Most kinks make me uncomfortable 🤣 I'm sorry.
• No incest. Just....gross. No.
• No polyamory. As it is a complicated topic I do not inderstand, and I don't want to offend anyone
• No explicit smut that include characters under 18 years old. Unless it's an AU in which they're already +18. It makes me uncomfortable 🤣
• On the contrary, implied smut with characters under 18 is acceptable. As long as I don't have to write it, I'm okay with implying they did it.
Fandoms
(I write for: ♡; never written about but I'm open to it: ♤; never under any circumstance: ◇. Characters not listed assume ♤ unless I specify later)
One Piece, Up to date with the manga.
(not listing everyone, since they're a lot, just the ones that come to mind atm).
♡: Strawhats (except Chopper and Brook), Law, Corazon, Ace, Sabo
♤: Shanks, Kid, Killer, Doffy,
◇: Brook, Chopper* (romantically at least, I'm down for something platonic involving Chopper), Any of the color-beards, Big Mom, Kaido
My Hero Academia: Up to date with the manga.
♡: Bakugo, Hawks, Deku, Todoroki, Kirishima, Aizawa, Mirio, Overhaul, Dabi, Twice
◇: Mineta, Shigaraki (he gives menthe heebie jeebies)
Full Metal Alchemist, finished watching it.
♡: Ed, Al, Winry, Roy, Hawkeye, Havoc, Scar, Huges, Olivia Armstrong.
◇: Father. Alex Armstrong (same as Chopper* from One Piece)
Attack on Titan, currently at manga chapter: 117
♡: Levi, Hange, Erwin, Armin, Annie, Sasha
◇: Eren (I dont like him), Zeke (don't like him either).
Haikyuu!!, I just started watching this, currently at Episode 27
♡: Nishinoya, Tanaka, and pretty much everyone in the Karasuno team. Kenma, Yamamoto.
◇: Lev (he gives me the heebie jeebies)
Miscellaneous. (This also apply for other writing blogs/writers)
• Common courtesy. Please ask for requesy in a polite way.
• Im not saying to address me as if I were your mother or your boss or whatever. Just be nice about it. You can address me as if we're childhood friends, thats cool, just ask for things nicely.
• Don't be insistent. It bothers me and I don't like to feel like I'm under pressure. I do this as a hobby, don't make my hobby feel like another chore.
• Like I said, this is a hobby, and I do this for free. Don't feel entitled to get something just because you requested it. I'm a slow writer, and chose the request depending on what character and what themes I feel like writing. I very rarely delete request, I always leave them in my askbox because I'll eventually feel inspired to write them.
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lnarizakis · 4 years ago
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— sam’s match-ups masterlist
hi! if you sent in a match-up ask, you can find ‘em all here! if you sent off anon, i have just tagged you and added the link to the post. if you sent as anon/anon with identifying emoji, i included your description along with the link. this post will be constantly updated as i continue to post my match-ups! thank you and i hope you all enjoy your match-ups!!
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— @hqprotectionsquad . . .
— anon . . . ❝ could i get a matchup🥺 with 2 boys~ i'm 4'9, i'm really tiny and i've been told i have really nice hair hehe personality wise i've been told i'm really gentle and calming, i had a teacher that said my voice is "serene" and "soothing" >__< i'm the mom friend of the group🥰 i'm quite the introvert, i enjoy just staying home with some takeout, studying quietly or playing acnh underneath all my blankets.. i'm quite fond of hugs and cuddling and forehead kisses too though😚😚💞💞💞 ❞
— anon . . . ❝ could i request for a matchup?🥺 i'm about 5'3, my friends always say i'm the perfect height to hug 🤗 i have long hair till my waist that i dyed a rose-gold colour, i like wearing green or grey contacts because i like the way they make my eyes look. i have a resting b!tch face though...i'm not very approachable because of it😭 i've been playing netball for about 6 years now and i'm quiet irl i guess, but off the court and when i'm comfy, i'm quite the goodball🤙🏻🤙🏻 ❞
— anon . . . ❝ grats for 500! I'd like to request a matchup w 3 ppl pls! Im female, 5'2, i LOVE volleyball! i play wing spiker but i used to play setter, i loved setting for my besties in hs after training. I like to work out, read books & study. i clean my room every morning cos i like neat things, my closet's organized. i have dark brown eyes and thick thighs, proud of em! i also dance, im flexible, and im taking journalism. i wanna play pro vb in the future but tbh 158.5cm's too short, but im not giving up! ❞
— ⭐️ 🌸 anon . . . ❝ Hey hey! If ur still doing the matchup event i would love one!! Im a short gal with wavy dark hair and green eyes. I wear makeup p often esp red eyeshadow and black winged eyeliner (bc im an egirl until i DIE). Speaking of egirl i dress in black and with a chain most of the time but i also randomly flip into floral soft girl hours?? As for personality im really energetic once im comfortable and i love people who can match that energy, esp bc i get anxious rlly easily so i need someone . . . who will help keep me calm and happy when my drive for success gets a lil out if hand lmao. I’m also v combative towards ppl who i think are disrespectful! I love classic novels and watching foreign movies, but I also LOVE sports and get rlly hype abt them. I also LOVE music esp metal but i can and WILL vibe to literally anything esp if its during a workout (bc i live at the gym and someone spotting my squats is so romantic 2 me 🥺). A match w/ 2 boys would be sick, tysm in advance! ❞
— anon . . . ❝ Im medium height with long brown hair and sharp features. I like drawing, reading, cooking. I’m rather chill and level-headed, i’m usually the one to fix objects and solve problems, I avoid drama. I’m compassionate and caring but sometimes indifferent. I like mountains, art galleries, concerts, cello and graphic design. I’m adaptable and open to learning new things but I don’t like changing my routine too much. + 1 male character. ty for this and congrats on 500 followers!!! you deserve it ❞
—anon . . . ❝ hihi!!!! congrats on 500!! i lov ur content sm.. akfjag im asking for a two chara match up!!! im 5'3 and i have pink hair,, i switch between so many hobbies LOL i play volleyball and softball,, and i love singing and painting!! i have a really cottagecore aesthetic and i love baking things for people!!!!! im really energetic and v bratty over text but i get flustered so easily in person,, i hope youre having a good day//night !!!!!! ty for ur fics ❞
— 🐧 anon . . . ❝ match up please!!🥺 2 characters n no gender preference!! im a tall (around 184cm) kinda chubby girl w/ shoulder length brown hair, hazel eyes, pale skin w/ a lot of moles n i wear glasses! im p shy n it takes me a while to open up. but when i do i am a completely dif person,, making friends is hard but the ones i do have i love more than anything! when im w/ them im cheerful, talk a lot n goof around. otherwise i look p intimidating n serious cause i have a rbf n barely talk,, . . . im the mom friend, an optimist, a dreamer n a procrastinator. im p hard to piss off but when im angry i can get scary 😳 im sensitive n cry a lot, currently im working on being more confident! i love animals n flowers!! cause im not the best with words i use lil gifts n touches to express my love! my hobby is drawing! ive been doing it my whole life n im rlly proud of it!! congrats on 500 followers love❤ ❞
— @raevaioli . . .
— 🦆 anon . . . ❝ Happy 500 bubs! You def deserve it :)! I was wondering if I could get a #1 male matchup? Looks: 5’1 petite fem w/ small chest/tiny waist. Thick/medium brown hair and eyes. I’m a cancer with ENTP type! I’m a very affectionate person to my loved ones. I’m very stubborn, sensitive (but I try to hide it), ambitious, witty and very talkative! I like to tease my friends, watch Netflix and try new baking things! Although I show my love through actions, I’m fine with getting love back in any way . . . Also I like baths! (It’s random but why not 😌) I wish you a good day! ❞
— anon . . . ❝ Hey! Can I get a matchup? (#1)I’m a Leo and a ISFJ chick! I have medium brown hair and big eyes w/ glasses. I have a petite body with a small waist and chest. I’m really nice to people but very awkward (I’ll laugh at the floor) and when annoyed. I’m much more open to others like my best friend,I feel at home with her :,) .My hobbies include watching greys anatomy, shopping for clothes, and calling my friends. I would want my partner to be a lil more extroverted than me. Happy 500 😊 ❞
— anon . . . ❝ hi! Can I get a matchup? I’m 5’2 straight girl w/ long brown wavy hair and big brown eyes. I’m thick in all the right places🥴 plus I have a curvy body. My star sign is Pisces and I’m a ISFP. I’m more introverted than extroverted. I dress like Hobo type of way, but i always wear AF1s and I NEVER crease them. In my spare time I draw,listen to raps (mostly by Tupac) and oldies, learn raps, and hang out wit friends. I also have a bunch of piercings on my ears and one on my nose. ty CONGRATS ON 500+ ❞
— anon . . . ❝ CONGRATULATIONS ON 500 WHOOP WHOOP❣️🥺, can i please have a matchup doe! so happy to celebrate this with you❤️ i’m a female, straight, 5’4 and a half, dark skin with medium black curly hair, chubby cheeks and always smiling, i love being outside just experiencing life or trying new drinks at restaurants!! i also enjoy staying home to watch tons of anime & movies or dates to the museum or theme park, spring is my favorite season and orange is my favorite color, i’m so hyper and loving, thank you! ❞
— 🐾 anon . . . ❝ Twice the charm I suppose :) I’m a 5’1 girl with long wavy brown hair. I have a lot of piercings and I tend to wear a lot of jewelry. I wear two knee braces due to a connective tissue disorder. I’m bisexual, so either way works for me owo. I’m an INFJ and a type 4. I’m told that I’m pretty easygoing but I get angry real quick when someone I love is threatened. I’m very empathetic and I’m the mom friend of the group 🐾 . . . Fun fact, don’t leave me alone in public for more than two seconds or else random strangers come up to me asking for advice. This has happened way too many times now don’t ask me why lmaooo. I’ve been playing soccer for eleven years now. I was the captain of a coed college-age division team for two years. I play left defense and goalkeeper. 🐾 . . . I go hiking a lot, I love cliff diving, and I’m an archer. I am also a painter and a writer. My dream job is to become a book editor, but I want to eventually live off my books. I tend to be pretty clingy when it comes to people. I randomly need a lot of attention and force my friends to cuddle. They like rejecting me 😔. Sorry that this was so long aha. Ily and have a good day 💕🐾 ❞
thanks for sending in an ask ! didn’t see yours? please let me know !
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jclie · 4 years ago
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— && guests may mistake me as ( elizabeth olsen ), but really i am ( jolie madison + cis female + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 7/29/1992 ). i am a ( musician ) and would like to stay in suite ( 314 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( driven, audacious, & charismatic ), but i can also be ( perfectionistic, reticent & self-sabotaging ) at times. personally, i like to ( paint, hike, try new recipes & sing karaoke ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( chai sugar cookies ) to have in my suite.
hi everyone! i’m red, and the only excuse i have for this dropping so late is that Work Sucks and has held me up, but i am here and ready to love u all! rlly, what better to do with the remaining bits of summer ( and being awake, tbh ) than join this super cute group and put my intro post together? so yes, here is the 411 on jolie, with a more *~cohesive~* bio and stats page on their way — i am so excited to get to know all of your muses and begin interacting! i promise i do not bite so if you’re feeling brave, pop over in the ims, or, just wait me out, because i’m sure i’ll be appearing in them soon enough :~)
general info
full name: jolie drew madison
nicknames: j, jo, jojo (calling her this is a bit of a death sentence unless you have explicit permission), mads
date of birth: july twenty-ninth, 1992 (27)
zodiac: leo
sexual orientation: bisexual
birthplace: chicago, illinois
occupation: musician
hogwarts house: slytherin
mbti: enfj
suite #: 314
tw: drug use
past
born on a wednesday in chicago, illinois to a set of parents who had a very “informal” relationship to say the least — to make a complicated situation as cut and dry as possible, jolie’s parents were best friends with benefits. her mom wound up pregnant and decided to keep the baby. instead of jumping to some rash decision like getting married solely for the sake of their child, they decided to simply remain friends and split custody in the best way they knew how that didn’t require a mediator in the form of a family court judge. her parents remained close friends (and still are) once jolie was born; custody was weirdly split with jolie spending the majority of her time with her mom. they were an unconventional sort of family but a family nonetheless. dad does something with numbers (yes, think chandler bing), and mom is a local business owner.
as a kid, jolie never knew a stranger, and therefore had no trouble making friends once she hit school age. she was the kid who never found her niche group or “clique” because her feet were wet in several of them. school was not a miserable time for her. she had her friends, was a solid a/b student. jolie was a big perfectionist though, it not uncommon for her to beat herself up over something incredibly minute and self-sabotaging herself as punishment or because she didn’t know how to adequately process her feelings of anxiousness — she’d procrastinate, cut people off or drive them away, things of that nature.
music was always in her life, but it was a very casual thing in her world, situated on a backburner. it was something that she was able to bond over with her dad more so than her mom; her dad was a massive music junkie, loved sharing his favorite songs with her, bought her her first vinyl player when she was twelve and supplied her with every album under the sun, whether it was one she wanted or one of his favorites or just one he thought she might enjoy. she was in dance classes as a preschooler (this was an epic fail, because not even her rhythm could save her from the generally awkward disaster she is whenever she dances) and took piano lessons in elementary school, but she didn’t love either? she felt very restricted when it came to formal lessons, and almost needed the freedom to explore and learn it on her own terms — she ended up teaching herself guitar on her dad’s guitar on the weekends she spent at his place. there was also the 6 month stint her junior year of high school when she and some friends started a garage band (which jolie represses to a certain degree because the embarrassment it invokes is on another level) but it was mostly just an idea formulated from boredom and was something to pass the time, nothing really serious. 
jolie found herself at a bit of a crossroads after her graduation. most of her friends were off to college but college did not seem like the kind of environment for her. she didn’t know what she wanted to do with herself or her life, but she knew she had to do something. so she pretty much copied and pasted what one of her close friends was doing at the time, decided to go to northwestern and share an apartment with her and pray that something would speak to her along the way. spoiler alert: nothing did. her first year quickly fizzled and faded for her and most of her time was spent going to parties, embracing the social scene, the like. nothing of real educational value.  
she was still fucking around when it came to music; she’d met some people in one of her creative writing classes (the only class that she legitimately finished and enjoyed) and would go to open mic nights or other gigs around town. never meeting a stranger meant jolie was good at networking, making friends with other musicians — the more she spent time immersed in the world, the more she felt compelled towards music. she began writing songs that weren’t just the product of teenage angst (see: that awful high school band), even took a few music classes at northwestern. 
by the time she hit her junior year, she was over classes and was pretty much only taking filler classes still, wasting her money while she bar tended at one of the bars close by. but she’d never felt more creatively charged; she was putting her nose to the grindstone in writing songs, recording songs in her bedroom so she wouldn’t wake up her roommates, playing gigs on her nights off work literally anywhere that would take her, and using those new-er friendships to her advantage. she had gained some local traction but things really didn’t explode until she started posting original songs online and got contacted by a few record labels. jolie was hesitant to sign with anyone but she got one of her friends in pre-law to help her look over contracts and pretend to be her manager and eventually signed. subsequently, she dropped out of college and went to work on the music thing full time.
from 21-23, jolie was pretty much doing nothing but playing festivals and clocking in hours at studios. most of her time was spent on the road and she absolutely loved it  — she loved the music festival atmosphere, loved the crowds, loved meeting other bands and fans. she was pretty much touring on the few songs she had released, covers, and unreleased tracks from a wip, but it worked for her and it worked for the fans. she released her first album, ultraviolet on her 23rd birthday, and hit the road again. 
jolie missed her “college” life with the parties and socialization at her fingertips, so she started elbowing her way into that scene while she was on tour — at first, it wasn’t anything to bat an eye at, but jolie’s limits were very fluid. being on tour was draining and the perfectionist in her would always find something to berate herself about, and getting out of her head was the only way that she felt she could truly enjoy the whirlwind success that was happening to her. the drugs started as a one-time thing, just to try it, and then she was using regularly, and then it got to a point where she couldn’t go more than an hour without a line of coke. the drugs stripped away a lot of what made her jolie and left her with a more miserable, grouchier version of herself where her highs were almost normal and likable and the lows were hell to be around. 
she came off of ultraviolet’s tour and essentially jumped right back into the studio (she was beginning to break through in mainstream music, with her last promotional single off ultraviolet hitting mainstream radio and doing fairly well) for album #2. it was finished and ready to go, but by that point, the drug use had gotten to an all-time high and the constant turning a blind eye to it from her team was no longer possible. she ended up od’ing and that was it  — there was an intervention in the hospital room, and it was off to rehab for jolie. album got postponed and she basically fell off the radar.
she didn’t really make a “comeback” until she was knocking on 26′s doorstep, and by that point she’d been in rehab, getting sober, and then laying low for nearly two years. by the time she was releasing her first single for the new album cycle, she’d all but scrapped the record she’d made before rehab and had something else put together entirely. she released wonderland, which did very, very well. she toured for it and it was wildly different than anything she’d done prior — venues were bigger, more fans, just a whole different circus all around. 
probably the one thing she was more proud of than the music was her sobriety, and going on two years of being sober, not much else was important to her. she knew had a pretty black and white view of was good for her and what wasn’t, so after the tour wrapped, she decided to come home. she never pegged herself for the type to get “homesick” because her spirit was very much the wandering type, but she knew she needed to get out of la and nyc. back to chicago it was — which is how we get to the malnati. 
present
she’s in what she’d aptly describe as “professional limbo” — she’s not actively working on any one project, she’s just kind of floating until she can find something to tether herself to, whether it’s a single song or an album or something else that appears on her radar. she’s just taking things easy for the time being.
career wise, think marina, l*na —  more of a cult favorite than a mainstream artist. not going to get mobbed when she goes out and about, able to fly under the radar for the most part. as far as her music goes, i don’t necessarily know if i’ll claim any one artist’s discography and adopt as her own; in my head, jolie’s alt pop. think somewhere along the lines of hayley williams, st. vincent, tove lo, splash of the 1975.
personality wise at this point in her life: will charm the pants off of just about anyone she comes into contact with. flirty. a little goofy, hella sarcastic. there’s method to her madness even if no one else gets it. is still a little guarded when it comes to talking about herself. doesn’t mind talking about what’s happened to her but when it comes to the feelings and emotions as to why those things happened, she shuts down. it’s why she’s a musician: why talk about your feelings when you could just write them into a song and pretend they don’t exist beyond that, lmao. is the passive aggressive type, bottles things up and simmers. 
being in the kitchen and cooking has been a tactile sort of therapy for her, especially in her hiatus years. she loves trying new recipes, baking at random (all) hours, sometimes likes to pretend she’s on an episode of master chef. she’s a dork, your honor.
has a thing for polaroids. she has a blank moleskine notebook that she has put through a total ringer, gluing polaroids and other little mementos onto pages as a journal of sorts.
has a stick and poke tattoo (among other professional ones) on her ribcage that she gave herself when she was sixteen. it’s a tiny smiley face. 
her middle name came from her dad’s middle name (andrew).
if you want someone to go out with you at night (or during the day, she’s not picky) and just aimlessly wander around the city, letting things find you, she’s your girl. she loves a good adventure.
i headcanon jolie as predominantly dirty blonde/brunette lizzie? but she is also the type who has ruined her hair over the years over all the impromptu dying so... welcome to close your eyes and pretend hour.
plot ideas
this is by no means a comprehensive list of plots, just stuff off the top of my head that i’d like to see? again, i promise i don’t bite, so pls hmu if one of these appeals to you or if you just wanna brainstorm, i live for that shit!!
jolie’s a chicago native, went to college here, so 👀
meredith to her cristina — basically her best friend (not gender specific, either) who tells it to jolie like it is, doesn’t mind if she laments about how the world sucks every now and again, the person she’s calling if she needs help with a body
physically and/or emotionally, somebody who checks in on jolie and that she checks in on as well. we love a solid support system
exes — jolie’s a little bit (a lot of bit) of a player?? so i’d love to see exes that maybe didn’t end too hot, ex fwb or ex flings that never made it official, people she ghosted, exes that don’t want to get back together but don’t like seeing each other with anyone else, anything under that sun
jolie also is a Lowkey (read: highkey) commitment-phobe, but i’d rlly love for her to maybe have an ex that she was so In Love with that she was willing to push through it bc she saw herself with them forever..... and then, for reasons tbd, it ended, and it absolutely crushed jolie
someone who, on the occasion of needing to scratch an itch, is very good about getting the job done. it’s casual sex. there are zero romantic feelings involved, there is no getting jealous when the other person finds a relationship, the two are just good friends who have seen (and will probably continue to see) each other naked #yeehaw
maybe someone who was at one of jolie’s gigs when she was still playing bars that she bought a drink and kept in touch with or smth? or someone she met when she was still predominately playing small sets at festivals? idk i’m rambling someone stop me
a “muse”??? like, someone jolie is fascinated with / inspired by and she finds herself writing songs about / for
gimme someone who’s like an acquaintance at best, they’ve maybe got mutual friends and therefore they hang out a bit but they’re always arguing with one another for whatever reason (they both probably annoy each other) but they’ve got mad sexual tension going on? maybe they act on it, maybe they don’t, but either way, they lowkey enjoy the bantering and being at one another’s throats even if they act otherwise
jolie is a night owl, so... gimme someone who she can turn up at their room at some unholy hour (or that turns up at her room at said unholy hour) and watch a movie with or make a mess of the kitchen from fixing a premature breakfast
maybe someone who knew jolie when she was not in a good place?? and things are still v much tense / unresolved between them for whatever reason
and stuff for the event omg PLS *makes grabby hands*
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sunsetsinhoenn · 6 years ago
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hiii I was wondering how Sal’s S/O would react to seeing his face under his mask for the first time?
thank you for sending something in for sally face *_* im nervous that his might not be that good, but I hope everyone likes it. 
if you are reading this on mobile, I am SO sorry… I usually edit any bunching of words on my phone so it’s easier to read, but the app won’t even let me do that anymore. if anyone knows how to stop tumblr from screwing with my posts… please tell me…. or i’ll… cry
Sal Fisher _ “expressions”
Ever since the two of you had begun dating, you realized that Sal was trying his best to make sure you both had enough time spent alone together. You both loved the rest of your friends, but you also loved each other a lot and the exclusivity of your relationship required time for the both of you to catch up together. Since you and Sal were just high school students barely going into your senior year, this time together usually took its place in the form of homework sessions or dates, but every so often there would come a time when no one else but you and Sal had any free time.
You loved these times.
“I get that your ghost friend is up here and all, but what enticed you to check the fifth floor out in the first place?” You said, slowly walking around and scoping out apartment 504. “It feels like if I accidentally get poked by whatever’s in here, I’ll get… rabies… or something.”
You heard your boyfriend chuckle where he stood by the bathroom patiently, watching you check things out.
“Well, I don’t touch anything I shouldn’t, that’s for sure. Although,” You turned your head quickly towards him, giving him a disbelieving look before he could even finish his sentence. “If I do find something interesting, I’ll take it. Random stuff pops up often up, here.”
You began walking towards him, content with your brief look-around, still eyeing him somewhat incredulously.
“That’s weird. Please tell me you carry around a little bottle of sanitizer in your pocket?”
You saw the bottoms of his eyes raise up behind his prosthetic, giving you the impression that he was smiling, but other than that he seemed rather straight-faced.
“I don’t! Are you ready to meet Megan?”
You shrugged, sighing a little.
“I suppose. You said she’s shy, though. What if she doesn’t want to meet me?” Still facing you, his hand went behind his back to land on the doorknob and turn it open.
“I’m hoping that she’ll sense how sweet you are and come out anyways. You’re cute too, so she won’t feel scared, either.” You blushed and he laughed again, walking backwards into the bathroom. With your mouth twisted into an embarrassed, tiny frown, you felt the tips of your ears turn red as well. Your boyfriend was sweet, but he really liked to lay the compliments on thick.
Following him inside, he closed the door behind the two of you and started speaking out. With the dim light of the bathroom and the fact that Sal was trying to summon a ghost, which you were pretty sure didn’t exist, you felt your nerves working up. It was just… so creepy and dirty in the bathroom and the only thing that kept your mind from running rampant was the sight of Sal right in front of you. If it weren’t for the calming image of his familiar prosthetic and blue hair, you would have bounced out already.
“Megan… are you sure you don’t want to come out? Y/N is really nice, they won’t hurt you or anything.” He turned towards you. “Do you want to say hi, to see if she might come out?”
“Um…” You fiddled with your hands, a little nervous. “H-hey, Megan. I’m Y/N… I won’t bite or anything. I-in fact, I don’t think I can, haha…”
…You were met with nothing but silence. Sal tried calling out once more as a last try to get her to come out, but received no response again. Part of you felt a little hurt for not being okay enough for Megan to come out for, but the other part was relieved, just a bit. Maybe Megan was able to sense that part of you that wasn’t ready to see her… Or maybe she didn’t. You didn’t really know.
You looked at Sal, who had been staring at you.
“She might be tired. Maybe you can meet her some other day.” You nodded, taking his hand and leading him out, rushing him a bit.
“As long as you’re with me. This place is creepy without the ghosts.” You took a few steps out of the bathroom and down the apartment to the exit.
“I don’t really like the idea of you coming up here without me, anyways. There hasn’t been any demons for a while, but this place can be dangero-“
With a shriek, you halted your steps and squished yourself against sal, frightened by the man sitting in the room. He looked like your average homeless man, but with darkness surrounding his eyes. You could tell that he wasn’t okay nor was he normal due to his subtle transparency and his crazed rocking back and forth.
“You need to leave.”
“W-what?!”
“There will be-“ It sounded as if his voice was echoed and distant, like from another world. You tried to take a step back, but ended up tripping over Sal and you both ended up falling backwards from the imbalance. Frantically, you panicked and got up, ignoring the man that had appeared suddenly in the apartments.
“Sal?! I’m sorry, are you okay?” He grunted a bit and said he was fine, but you could see that his eyes were closed and that he was trying to wipe something off. You noticed that there were dirt particles and other miscellaneous… unsanitary stuff on the ground, so you both got yourself back on your feet quickly and you pushed him out of the apartment as fast as you could.
“Come on, Sal! Let’s get to your apartment to take care of that.” Nodding, he followed you into the elevator and down to the floor below. The trip was quick, but you also noted the fact that his prosthetic had been moved on his face a little bit, revealing more of his left side and less of his right. You could see a scar popping out.
Once inside of his apartment, you guided him to his bathroom and made him sit on the toilet, so you could grab a rag and wet it.
“No, Y/N, I’m fine. You don’t have to help me. Really, I can take care of it.”
“But if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be having issues right now. I’m the clumsy idiot, please let me help you. Close your eyes.” He did as he was told and closed them hesitantly. As you kneeled in front of him, he leaned towards you, so you could clean it better. “I am… having a hard time cleaning this, though. Do you still feel dirt and stuff in your eyes?”
He nodded.
“I- yeah… I think some dirt might’ve gotten underneath too, though I’m not sure how that happened.” You continued dabbing at his eyes,trying to make sure that he wouldn’t get an eye infection because of your dumb actions.
“Well, your prosthetic did get turned a little.”
“It did?”
“Yeah.”
“…”
Sitting in silence for a few moments, he listened to you breathe as you worked. He had been thinking about this moment for a long time, shortly after the two of you had started dating. But no matter what scenario he had imagined in his head, it would always turn out bad. You would see his face, give a look of horror or disgust… and then run away.
No matter how kind he knew you were, no matter how sweet or open-minded you were, he could not foresee a good outcome to him removing his prosthetic, so showing you was something he had always procrastinated on. He knew that in order to be with you in the future, as more than just a high school couple, you would have to see him eventually, but it… scared him. A lot.
With a shaky hand, he gripped your wrist, silently telling you to stop. Slowly, you watched as he began removing the straps on the back of his head, and as your heart began speeding up for the second time that day, you watched with wide eyes as you saw his face for the first time.
His face was littered in scars, both small and big. You could see that the worst area was on the right side of his face, which was practically mauled. There was dirt on his face from the tumble you both took in apartment 504, but what drew your attention was his… expression. Part of his eyebrow was missing on the right side, but you could tell that he looked incredibly worried and scared and… that he was watching with bated breath on what you would do next. He was staring right in your eyes, wondering and waiting.
For some reason, you felt tears well up, and carefully you began cleaning his face again, having a much easier time without the prosthetic.
With a wide smile and a soft laugh, you spoke, a couple tears spilling down.
“Wow… you have dirt everywhere.” You quickly dabbed it away. “And… y’know, I’m really happy because now I finally get to say this with absolute confidence. I mean, I was able to say it before, but now that I’ve seen your face you are legally obligated to believe me when I say it.”
“Huh?” He looked at you, a little skeptical, but still worried. This was not a scenario that he foresaw. What are you saying? After setting the rag aside, you looked straight back into his face, your smile somehow growing wider.
“You are, without a doubt, the cutest boy I’ve ever met.” Your hands went up to cup his face. “I never really thought about it before because… the Sal I had always known was the Sal with the ‘mask’, but I can’t even begin to explain why I’m so happy to see you like this.”
He rolled his eyes, turning away from you.
“You don’t have to sugarcoat this, Y/N. I’m not cute. Don’t lie to me.” You frowned, turning his face back towards you. You would not accept him talking himself down like that.
“Sal, I am not a liar. I’m one hundred percent telling you the truth.” You raised an eyebrow, your demeanor becoming somewhat playful. “You’re my boyfriend and you are just. That. Handsome. I feel like giving you… a thousand kisses right now. Maybe even… a million.”
You laughed mischievously when you saw his cheeks turn a light shade of pink. You were glad he was pale, because it was easy to see. It was difficult to notice on the side that was heavily scarred, but you could from looking at the left side.
“Are you blushing, Sal? Is what I’m saying embarrassing?” You reached up and gave him a loud kiss on the forehead. “I’m sorry! I can’t help it!”
You heard him laugh and you glanced at him to see him smile at you. You could practically feel the arrow pierce your heart. You laughed as well, deliriously happy.
“I never really realized how much I wanted to see you smile. Thank you for showing me, Sal.” He gave you a deep kiss, tears falling down his cheeks.
“No, thank you.”
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