#im a big believer in scaling things up slowly

[svampira]

i think im going to try and make longer comics about my ocs' contained stories next

[uglycryinglawyer]

heyyy tumblr,

class of 2024 law student here. no offense but you know things are bad when i take it to tumblr. law school really does something to your psyche and i hate to say it but despite this whole movement on social media to be more transparent, i don't believe anyone will be completely honest about their experience when their words can be traced back to them. being believable as 100% genuine & honest while being anything less than to followers that cling to every syllable of yours does more damage than good imo.

ill start this page with some honesty that i would label as a 6/10 on the "how embarrassed would i be if someone from my post-grad job were to see this" scale i just made up.

my first semester i felt like the smartest version of myself i had ever been because i got 1 online award from a fake company (seriously what business does this "computer-assisted legal education" company have hosting awards for schools around the country & why are they receiving our grades to begin with) for having the highest grade in my class. mind you, this company/award is not at ALL affiliated with my school, its literally made up. but its something that is made PUBLIC (as in if you knew my name you could google me and this stupid award shows up), and so many schools still acknowledge it to, idk, create further divisions between students that i guess the whole system of making everyones grades 100% based on their finals and curved (not in a good way) doesn't do enough for?

now here i am, having finished my 6th semester & walked the commencement stage a few days ago ugly crying over a grade because i might have just lost my honors status. when in actuality .... ~ kim, there are people that are dying ~ why does any of this matter?? this is what 6 semesters of slowly having your confidence in your own intelligence chipped away at does to a person.

its not over yet though - bar prep starts last week :). actually it starts on may 20th officially, but no ones being honest about the fact that they really started studying the day after their finals ended, if not earlier.

so i've decided to document my experience for you all here. with bar prep & my foray into big law (you know this field was meant for babies because that's what we unsarcastically call a career at a top law firm) on the horizon, & 6 semesters of pure chaos behind me, i have a lot to say!

im not sure who this is going to reach because, again no offense tumblr, but i doubt this site has the reach it once did. maybe this will just end up being a time capsule for myself, which i would love. or maybe this will help 1 person cope, which i would love even more.

regardless, if you read this far, thank you & tttys. going to throw some random hashtags in now don't mind me.

[philtstone]

WIP Tag Game

Rules: Share a snippet from whatever you’re currently working on, and then tag 5 people.

tagged by @firstelevens

no pressure tagging @sesamestreep @sayheykid @flyinghome-againstthewind @tllgrrl @walkinginland and also @carrotsofthepirabbean because i wanna see more of the worlds greatest Star Trek au xoxoxo

so im working on like 3 things at the same time because that always ends well? and theyre all currently in completely disjointed half-written snippets state, lol. here are 2 short bits from the most unserious one, aka the princess bride-inspired au i once told zainab about and then almost forgot completely until a week ago.

“Gus, I think I just communicated with a dead girl!”

I’m not dead!

“Aaah!” Shawn’s responding exclamation occurs at a much higher pitch than is objectively dignified. “What? No! What? Who – you!”

“Who?” asks Gus, wide-eyed.

“Jules?!” Shawn says, unsure to whom the question is directed. He looks wildly around, then up at the sky, then finally back down to the peaceful, round cheeked face smushed into the grass between them. Gingerly, he leans over and nudges her head to face the tree canopy instead.

Took you long enough to notice, says Juliet’s grumpy, disembodied voice. That was not a comfortable position, you two. So much for your druid lineage.

Shawn, staring googly-eyed at her motionless body, feels the bottom half of his jaw slowly drop open and hang on its hinge like a squeaky see-saw. 

“What are we staring at?” Gus whispers, from right behind his ear. Shawn is too catatonic with shock to startle.

“Gus … she’s talking to me.”

“Juliet?!”

Yes! says Juliet’s bright voice emphatically in Shawn’s head.

“Yes!” squeaks Shawn in a very manly fashion. “Oh my God. Oh my God. Ooooh my God. Gus! I’m not – I’m not actually a psychic. I don’t talk to spirits! I barely believe in spirits. Until five seconds ago the top job on my resume was a court jester position I never actually held!” He takes a big long deep breath and feels slightly dizzy. “Why can I hear her?”

“I don’t know!” say Gus and Juliet at the same time, in markedly different tones and registers. For one thing, Shawn can hear Gus using his eardrums. Juliet’s voice just echoes in his skull like a little wind chime. Shawn swoons, very mildly. Gus catches him.

“Where would I be without you, Gus,” Shawn mumbles, into his best friend’s tunic lapel.

**

and excerpt two ...

“Well,” announces Woody the Miracle Man. “Lucky for you two, the little lady is not, in fact, deceased.”

“You mean we haven’t just been carting a dead body around for two days like idiots?” Gus asks desperately.

“Huh. That’d explain why she still smells like peaches.” Shawn looks down at Juliet’s serene, not-dead face. Her long eyelashes fan out against her cheeks and her golden hair flutters and twirls around her face in the faint breeze from the open window. He absolutely does not sigh in an involuntary and relieved and heart-fluttery fashion.

It’s the oil I use for my scalp, Juliet chimes in helpfully.

“Shawn, focus,” says Gus. “If she’s not dead, what’s wrong with her?”

“Well,” says Woody. “That’s the thing. She’s not completely dead. She is a little bit mostly as much as one can be without dying dead. Isn’t that so fun? I love medicine.”

“Mostly dead?” Shawn asks incredulously. 

“On a percentage scale,” Gus starts, “whereabouts would you put her, exactly?”

Shawn hits him. 

“Oh, a hefty seventy-four. And a half, I’d say.”

Huh. Huh.

[bluxb3rry]

❝𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞!❞↳෴੭˚ ༘♡·˚₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 💙

Han Jisung x male reader!

he/him pronouns!

english is not my frist language! kinda wanna make a part two of this one...idk

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

Han Jisung heard the rumours in his town, that there was a monster in the lake, the one deep in the forest where light cannot reach, anytime that someone tries to see the place...they never comeback.

-where the fuck are you going?-

of course he didn't believe that, he has to see so he can believe, he knows nobody really tried to go, so, he should give a little try.

-just gonna look to the forest for a bit, you know, connect with nature and things like that-he said while packing up everything is his bag.

-bullshit, you going to that lake-minho replied-you know, you could die

-i won't die because theres nothing there-Han said with an "obvious" tone

-but, if something is there you could die-minho shows his own bag-so im going with you

-really?-

-only to the entrace of the deep forest-

So, the two friends decided to start walking together to said forest, one more nervouse than the other, they were just talking to ignore the fact that Jisung would be walking alone one big part of the forest.

When both went in the forest and finally saw the fence that separated the nice forest to the bad forest, Jisung finally sighed and looked at minho.

-see ya in a hour-

-you better-

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

-well, still nothing-

Jisung walked for about thirty minutes now, but only really saw some flowers and nothing else, he was getting pretty bored and the time was getting closer to an end, he really wanted to see something, anything!

And then, he heard it.

It was a melody, a beautiful melody, it was very loud and you could hear maybe even some echo but it was still so subtle and so sweet, it didn't hurt at all.

Jisung walked and walked till he got to an lake, a very big one.

So he realized something, the rumours where lying, the light was there in perfect position, only really in some places of the lake and still very little light because of the amount of trees that hide it, but it was enough to show how transparent and pretty the water was, some fireflies and flowers, the butterflies flying around something in specific, and there it was.

A man or something close to one, seemed to shine under the light and had small blue spots in his back that he could see but also blue scales decorating it, his hair wet and a few drops of water in his skin.

And then his voice, ooooh his voice, Jisung could hear it for ages and still never get tired of it, so he walked and tried to be silent.

Key word, tried.

The moment he made a little noise, the man looked at him and he was able to see the most beautiful eyes in his life, it looked like gems, but then, the man quickly hide to the lake, the sound of splashing water being the last thing he heard.

-wait!-he went more close to the lake but not so much-i-im not gonna hurt you! i promise! im sorry if i scared you!

Theres was still silence, so, Jisung tried by being more close and looked to the lake, then he felt water in his face.

-go away! o-or i could kill you!-he heard the voice more deep in the water

-um, are you sure about that?-Jisung question him and then saw a head slowly appearing under the water, and only the same eyes looking at him

-i could try....if you hurt me-the timid voice just made Jisung smile a little but also feel sad because of that.

-hurt you? why would i?-

The eyes looked at him kinda surprised but then hide again under the water, but this time, a tail appeard, a fish tail.

-mermaid...-

-merman!-the man appeard again looking at him-im not a women!

-mermaid sound more pretty to-

-still-he sighed and then showed more his face-aren't you going to hurt me?

-no, why?-

-they tried!-

Then jisung understood, this wasn't a monster that scare's, this was a creature scared.

-i won't! i promise!-

-thank god, i don't want to do things i don't like to do-

Jisung just sat there, in front of him, ignoring how he only had twenty minutes to return.

-what's your name?-

-...y/n-

-hi y/n! im Han Jisung-

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

[coldflasher]

why do you hate destiel?

with all the love and respect to my destiel-loving moots, peace and love and no hate and im genuinely glad ur all having a good time, this is by no means intended a personal attack. we are all friends here!! however, u may wish to avert your eyes because i'm afraid i am about to slander your man with extreme prejudice

basically it all boils down to the fact that i cannot stand castiel and i feel that his appearance in the show was the initial catalyst in its departure from the themes and plotlines that i personally find compelling as a viewer

i LOVE early supernatural. for me, supernatural was at its best when it focused on the smaller-scale monster of the week and when the aim was saving one or two people, when the threats were contained and it was focused on the two brothers and the road trip and what are we gonna hunt down and kill this week? when things became more grandiose and theological and there's a holy war and angels and the end of the world is nigh... that stuff just doesn't interest me anywhere near as much as just the everyday minutiae of saving people, hunting things... the family business... all that stuff. and i know there were always hints of Something Bigger, a Grand Purpose for Sam in particular, but it was still relatively contained and not the main focus.

i feel that cas showing up signifies this huge tonal shift and the show becoming something that i do not enjoy anywhere near as much as i enjoyed the early seasons. the angels, and god, and the apocalypse, and every single season we're facing the end of the world... and bear in mind that i have never made it past season 8 and by that point i was passively staring at the screen rather than watching, and that i have never consciously paid attention past s6, so im sure im missing out on many years of character development for castiel, but from the parts of the show i've seen, the guy has all the personality of a plank of wood. i don't find him funny. his deadpan delivery and lack of emotion, while obviously intentional and reflective of his character, do nothing for me. every time he's on screen, he pisses me off. on the rare occasions i watch past season 3, every time he's on the screen (assuming i am alone lmao) i am shouting "FUCK OFF!!" i can't even expressly put my finger on what it is i loathe about this character, but to me, he's about as fun and compelling as a piece of wet bread.

and yet people LOVE HIM?? everyone bigs up destiel, so on my first watch i RACED through the first 3 seasons to get to his first appearance and then realized with slowly dawning horror that i have been hoodwinked! bamboozled! maligned! i was led to believe that this man was the highlight of the show. everyone---THIS IS YOUR MAN?? I HATE HIM!! AND THE FACT THAT PEOPLE GO SO HARD FOR HIM MAKES ME HATE HIM EVEN MORE!!

so what, you may ask, has this to do with destiel? honestly just the fact that he's there. it's not about the dynamics of the ship or whatever, like i can see the writing on the wall, it's obvious why people ship it. no doubt i would concur, if my immense and honestly somewhat irrational loathing for this character did not consume me whenever i am reminded he exists. i am a HUGE dean winchester enjoyer. but i cannot in good conscience see him paired with a character i hate so much without being instantly enraged.

you don't choose the blorbo---the blorbo chooses you. and sometimes you are also chosen by... the anti-blorbo. and the only way to know peace is by doing everything in your power to forget that he exists.

[cynopoe]

Hi there! I’ve just seen your post about your fear of dropping out, and i have almost zero context, but i can still assure you that it is absolutely fine! I know I am just a random Tumblr user who knows nothing about you or your situation, but trust me that it is okay! i’ve been through probably something similar as I dropped out of a university after 7 years basically right before the finish line, i was 26 then! It was scary and i felt immerse shame over it for a while, and that sucked, im not gonna lie… but then i slowly started to feel SO MUCH BETTER as the constant stress and all that shit that i experienced while i still was there started to fade away! Also it really is just a cognitive bias (look them up if you want, they can be quite eye opening), a sneaky trick your mind is playing with you, really. I mean if you have already spent 5 years with this, your brain tries to convince you that it really is worth all the pain, because otherwise it would mean that it was all for nothing and you were wrong in investing this much effort in this… but it’s not true! It’s just a f*cked up “defense” mechanism your mind came up with unconsciously! Believe me, dropping out really is not that big deal, but it unfortunately takes some time to actually internalize this thought properly! But you will get there, i am sure! And you are still very young! You can start something new, get back later to whatever you will stop now, really, endless opportunities! I am 33 now, and i regret nothing, my dropout had to happen, i could become a healthier and happier person because of it! I dont plan to ever finish my stuff, but knowing that i dont have to might have eased my anxiety back then too… So heads up, you will be fine, you got this, you can do it but it is absolutely 100% okay if you dont either! 😊

Oh 🥹 thank you. For writing this. For me, I’m simply being a whining asshole because I become a rabid monster when under stress. I like the field I choose. I like learning. I like the social leverage it will eventually give me. It’s simply that it can get a bit *too much* sometimes.

I don’t plan to give up anytime soon, but seeing such positive thoughts makes me feel a lot better actually. When I think of it on a smaller scale, it really is not a live or die thing. Life goes on. It’s not just dependent on one exam result or a particularly stressful school season.

I’m sure there are other people who could also take something from this. Thank you for being so kind with me

[griffin-wood]

what is grief, if not love persevering?

premise: lya visiting rook's grave after a while. flashbacks and grief became evident in one. (the wayhaven chronicles).

a/n: well, I caved and wrote this to explore more about rook and lya (especially after that b3 ending) , the memories.. and the grief surrounding it, and ghad, it's a good thing that I didn't cry writing it. But, whoever you are; if you're dealing with it also; I hope you're taking care of yourself and you're doing okay. enjoy. ❤️‍🩹

cw: death mentions.

The weather today was on the scale of perfect in wayhaven, the sun shines above her yet, it isn't too hot for the day. She believes everything happens for a reason, either good or bad. But, for Lya; she tends to believe the former.

Her steps quicken at the sight of the cemetery, before she halts to a stop. The tulips in hand, as she takes out her phone. He told her to inform of her arrival, as he'll join her soon enough.

Everything is prepared, as she starts her walk through the city. Spring feels nice, as she makes her way to the local florist in wayhaven. The sight of blooming flowers of the season bring a smile to her face, but the pollen does pull out a sneeze out of her.

She walks slowly, somehow taking her time here. Something about today tells her to slow down, enjoy the sights and she did. The way the sight of the leaves caught her attention as she pass them by, the towns people with their families enjoying the spring day. It's a familiar sight of her, this has become her home for far too long, and the normalcy has been a pleasant sight as of today.

'im here.'

The text bubble immediately appear, as her lips raise into a smile.

'i'll join you soon. stay safe.'

-

She steps into the quiet, as her eyes laid upon the number of tombstones being side by side of one another. Her gaze falls upon an elderly man, placing flowers on top of another grave. The man looks up and meets her eyes, tipping his hat down, as she sends a smile his way.

Her steps were filled with dried leaves, and branches that interrupt her steps. Her tracks stopped at a familiar tombstone, as she kneels down below. Placing the tulips there, and dusting off the leaves over it.

"hey dad." She greeted him, as she always does. The last time she visited was two months ago, she hasn't had time for her usual monthly visits due to work, but thankfully her schedule today has cleared up.

The quiet around her, fills her lungs as flashes of memories was played in the back of her mind. The ones that she could, and try her best to remember of him. Rook. Dad, father, papa. Anything works as she smiles at the fond memories.

"I'm going to big city soon with adam, and honestly - I forgot how it is out there. I don't think I ever left wayhaven, because partly, it's home. And..." She pauses, biting her tears a little before she continues.

"it's closer to you, I never got to see you as much lately. And I'm sorry." She breaths in, and smiles.

"but, I promise we'll be back. It's only for a month, we're going to be saving people - just, like what you've always do too." She says excitedly, that's always a trait she knows she'll share with him.

Her gaze falls upon the area, it's so peaceful. So quiet for her liking, as the old man from before has maybe left for home. Her gazes fall onto the other tombstones, and her heart ache at the loss. This is the reality, nobody lives forever; even forever is just another metaphor as death is the one thing that separates it. The thought bring a sad feeling in her heart, one day she'll be under too. She'll be here too, maybe her kids will visit her if she ever decide to have them.

"and, it's also my birthday today. I treated myself to a cupcake, which I apparently baked myself. Yeah, funny thing I can finally bake now without making a mess everywhere." She chuckles at the statement too, remembering an old memory.

"Mom always doesn't let me play with the kitchen appliances, but I remember we used to do that. She wouldn't always approve, but she smiled when the flour begins to cover our faces instead of the bowls." She recalls a lil bit, and smiles.

The silence that follows feels dreadful, for someone who adores solitude. She remembers old times, maybe something about 5 years ago. The same person, yet her life was different than today. A life she never expected, and today it still changes with everything she discover. Yet, the quiet never gets easier.

She gazes around her, the empty graveyard; a familiar silence yet it breaks her heart to think about it. And as she looks back at her late father's tombstone, she felt her composure falter. The similar feeling she felt when her grandparents passed away, the hollow feeling to know they'll never come back. And the feeling she's feeling with him, with her father; an unresolved grief. All the love she did not know where to place, but she did anyway. She placed all the unresolved love, into her work, into her hobbies, into herself, even into her cupcakes, yet there's still a lot more to give.

She didn't realize, as the tears fell down; staining her vision, as she sobs quietly.

Her phone beeped once again, earning her attention once again.

'Napkins are in the left pocket.' The text from Adam brings a small smile over her face, as she takes it out. He always does pack a spare one for her, it's perfect for an emotional human like herself.

"I think; no matter how long it has been. I don't think I'll ever not cry when I step my foot here. I'll always be your emotional little Lya." She says with a weak smile on her face, and she remembers it too.

-

Lil Lya was wild, she's a firecracker and sweets combined in one. But, when she cries; everyone would stare wondering where did the racket came from? And Rook would come forward, pulling lil Lya in his arms; leaving the premise as he cheers her up either with more candy (shhh, we don't tell mom that!), toys, or maybe music. Whenever she cried, she always try to find him - especially when rook's at work. Rebecca's lullaby's of rook's favorite songs calm her down, as it always did.

"Don't you think she cries too much, son?" Grandma said, to Rook who's holding an crying Lya in his arms.

"Lya is allowed to cry mom, she's my little Lya. And honestly, I don't care because this is the moment where she'll come to me when she cries. I know for sure, when she's grown and wiser; she would tell cry to her friends instead. I think I'll enjoy what I can have right now mom, the sadness, the happiness, the down and ups before she enter the big girl alley where I don't think I'm no longer needed." He explains with a wistful smile, not knowing that his life, was cut short - and he never got to witness his little girl growing up into this wonderful woman.

He holds lil Lya, who's eyes are rimmed with red. The doughnut toy in her hand was held tightly, as he says, "you'll always be my little girl. I'll always here to wipe your tears away okay?" Rook wipes her tears and held her close, as Lya founds herself into a tight embrace, immediately falling asleep in her father's arms and it feels just right.

-

She wipes the remaining tears away, before placing the tulips down. Courtesy of the warehouse gardens, her home away from home. Nate and Farah helped her in compiling and matching the colors, which she appreciates it very much.

"Here's some flowers, from the family in the agency dad. Farah and I picked the colors, but I hope you like them." She says, her fingers tracing the tombstone. Smiling weakly, before standing up again.

The footsteps were heard pulled her attention, away; as Adam stands by the entrance. In his jacket, as he waited for her. She nods his way, and this is her cue to leave.

She takes a deep breath, before saying.

"Its time we say goodbye again, dad. I'll have to leave for the city soon, but we'll be back okay? I love you, and I miss you." Lya says, before saying her farewell to him. There's a hint of sadness fills her lungs, but it's good to come back here. And, the heaviness on her shoulder has been released, the stricken grief within her heart was cured through the little things, however; it can't be cure forever.

But, with all the love that originate from grief, becomes a motivator to move forward. To love, to live, to open up, and she's trying her best to do all of that. For the sake of herself, and her father too. She knows he would want her to continue to live; continue living despite everything.

And as she stop to meet his eyes, gentle green eyes met with her brown ones. She knows she had lived, one for the greatest adventures and she wishes, her dad was here to see her alive, and well.

Deep down, she knows; he's watching after her. Every step of the way, and that belief keeps her going every day for the rest of her life, as the man in front of her hold his arm out to her.

"ready to go?" Adam says gently, as Lya turns to face rook's gravestone once again. She smiles, before nodding taking his hand.

"as ready as I'll ever be." And then she left to the unknown, with her heart more full than ever.

THE END.

[todayisafridaynight]

so actually when you said about aokis further career it like got into my mind and i was like hmm yeah what would it be! cause he's a smart dude actually becase no dumbass could do what he did (even if he WAS a dumbass actually) so he def has skill experience and education and taken into account that he's on his way to Redemption (oooh you wouldn't believe how much thoughts i had about him being slowly accepted by ichigang party and most important getting back to being good friends with ichiban himself-) we just look the other way from bleach japan and 3k plan and what not (and i hope he's also not gettin back to THAT jeez) it WAS a phase

(first thing first imagine if he'd suddenly decided to fight BJ back with ichigang like imagine some of their pool employee face when The Aoki Himself tries to sabotage their work like a little bitch he is and you were 100% he died or something)

but actually i don't think he would stray too far from what he did as aoki - maybe not on the Great Scale Of Big Politics buuut maybe a politican of a local scale? maybe he STILL would be against gray zones™ but this time he would actually help? like trying to fit these poor people into society get em citizenships and jobs? (oh everyones gonna be so damn proud you know maybe hamako can open a real restaurant wow!)

like what's the thought behind it all: i may be foolish to think this man would still want to do the good thing (while being a bit of an edgy bitch as a treat cause cmon he deserves it) but i think he does want to do good. it's just like rn he hangs out with people he tried to erase earlier and not with bj assholes and it's impossible for him to not be influenced by that. and at this point i think he could do anything like yeah boy go learn how to mix cocktails or whatever but honestly? i think he would do what he can do good and that's all this political stuff - even if it's a small scale thing at least it keeps him entertained enough to not went down another spiral about his uselessness. he's useful and he's helping that's all!

thank you for coming to my tedtalk i hope i didn't make you regret allowin aoki essays in your inbox cause maybe its gonna be like that for some time . and oh oh damn it's AN ASK UH OH WHAT DO I DO UHH what do you think about that btw cause im interested in any thought and reply essays cause its going to give me zoomies when i wake up

tbh one of the infuriating things bout aoki's actions for me was the fact he was in a position to totally grant people in the grey zones a more 'honest living' if that's what he really wanted- like as governor of tokyo he undoubtedly had enough influence to give people citizenship and etc

if he were allowed to come back and if he were to continue a political career- first off Good Luck Coming Back Champ LMAO but also yeah it'd be neat to see him use whatever power he had left for the better while not doing a pure 180 since like. aint no one changing their worldview THAT fast but at least he's trying

[eponatheestallion]

adding on this bc trauma twins my beloved 🤸🏾‍♀️also this is a LONG one this rant kinda got away from me teehee

the thing about wild and lost is that yes they are the same person but in terms of life experiences they are completely different bc of the whole memory situation.

both of them share that feeling of "im a failure and everyone i love is gone" but while wild remembers the champions, king rhoam, etc, lost remembers everyone. the soldiers, the villagers in pre-calamity hateno, etc. while he may not be able to put a name to every face, he still remembers the faces.

so while both them are dealing with the fact they lost a Lot of their lives pre-calamity only lost is able Full-Scale of everything that's well. lost. that wild just can't due to his amnesia (not to say he doesnt understand at all. its just Different.)

theres also the fact lost is able to remember trauma that has nothing/very little to do with the calamity and the events of that. miphas diary literally tells us its botw canon that wild/lost was an exceptional swordsman at the age of four. then creating a champion tells us he was either twevle or thirteen when he picked up the master sword. and those two facts have been something kholby and i have been discussing a Lot with this au bc of the trauma that would result in having that responsibility and training pushed on a person so young.

so addition to calamity-induced trauma, lost is also dealing with the trauma from basically being a child soldier. kholby talked about this in a previous ask i believe, but lost's lack of identity is a HUGE part of his character and is what makes him most separate from wild besides the lack of amnesia.

wild was able to wake up after a 100 years and slowly remember his past while also figuring out his identity in this new era and lost just. didn't. he's still the hero from 100 years ago, he didn't change. all that changed about him was that he has a new set of trauma sitting on top of his already existing trauma.

like lost's lack of identity is a topic that needs like. multiple posts from me and kholby. its SUCH a big part of who he is and i cant sum it up in a few paragraphs bc theres just. So Much to cover (but i can sum it up pretty alright in a fanfic hahahaha shameless plug link here)

and thats not even getting into the totk swap aspect of this au bc uh. thats ANOTHER part where lost and wild diverge and it has Consequences for lost is the best way i can put it. like. 90% of lost's Positive character development happens post-totk for a reason. its just that pre-totk lost also has a lot of shit to work through that can also be explored.

anyways theres. so much more to talk abt with lost and wild and the differences and similarities between them but tldr: wild and lost are a "the grass is greener from the other side" situation but from lost's pov the grass is Indeed greener but from wild's pov the grass is on fire. trauma twins my beloved.

What head-canons do you have for wild that apply to lost?

im gonna be so fr the trauma twins (lost and wild) are complete opposites even though they stem from the same thing so the number of things that apply to both is surprisingly low!! 1. neither are particularly gender conforming (just wild is a lot more aware of it than lost. lost'll figure it out eventually though) 2. mommas boys through and through. malon, sonia, their actual mother, all of the above 3. they are like a soup of various magic (though the intensity n shit varies between them) even though theyre technically the same person they couldnt be more different

[radioves]

i saw a bunch of other people doing trafficsonas and since its come to my attention that cringe culture can burn ive decided to make my own lol

still on the fence about the skull and bone charm thing. idk someone give me feedback and i might change it out or remove it

this is ermine. his name isnt permanent i might change it considering its literally just polilla’s dads name. also if it isnt obvious hes based off polilla bc my current skin doesnt have much to work off of

lives in a cave in the middle of the tundra because its ‘easier to defend’, which is codeword for ‘who the hell would put effort into building a house when you got a house built by mother nature herself right here’

literal menace. finds joy in blowing up peoples houses despite the current life hes on. also disappeared for the entire first session just to breed an entire army of dogs for the sole reason of He Could

depending on his life, his pupil color and sword gem changes color, while the badges on his sash crack and stop glowing. theres also moths on the back of his shawl that change color, and starting from green life as he loses lives he also loses moths, until hes only left with a big red moth on his last life [queue laugh track]

the beads are random colors but the ones on his dogs do correlate to the life theyre on- btw if your wondering why the heart colors are weird its bc i just color picked from his outfit and just turn the saturation and brightness up, hence why green is yellow and yellow is orange

i am planning* [*see : rotating it in my mind] on making a traffic hc post about how the players make their clothes, but the basics is they spawn in with their clothes from other servers, but as their clothes get torn up from classic scuffles such as Dying, they have to make new clothes with what they have to work with, for example: wool, leather, string, cotton / hemp / other plant-based materials, furs, etc.

as for ermine, he spawns in with his base clothes [sweater, pants, and boots] and has to make the rest of his clothes with various leathers and fur. and for the select few of you asking where he got the polar bear parts: um uh uhm,,, i personally believe that the map he plays in is alot bigger and encompasses more biomes, including cold biomes such as his tundra and also frozen oceans.

its kinda like a uhc game in a way if you think about it, with a bigger but still enclosed map, and the border slowly closes in each session until all the players are forced into the middle and ok i need to just make a proper post for this stuff Moving on

the dog breeding deal kinda backfires on him when he dies to a skeleton while farming bones [he just like me fr [bc he is]]

after that he kinda begins to realize ‘damn. im gonna die’ and starts wearing the mask more, kinda as a threat, bc we all know characters with masks are more mysterious and therefor dangerous. except for him bc he runs at the sight of any conflict as he is absolute ASS at fighting. hence the blowing everything up part

when he dies again his were-aspect starts to show itself in places like him growing wolf and dragon parts and scales and fur showing up on his face and limbs. its kinda annoying but he supposes its useful considering it also comes with heightened senses + partial night vision

and now red life. This is when it all goes downhill for everyone including him

like all stereotypical weres, he loses the majority of his sense of humanity and just starts going literally, as the cool kids say, off the shits- he doesnt hesitate to attack everyone and anyone, even if it risks him getting killed in the process. there is no stops for this man, someone is going to die and it doesnt matter who

yes he still has his dogs, at least the ones that remain, though at this point hes less a commander and more one of them, attacking in one big pack of fluffy piranhas

dubbed ‘the bloodhound’, he attacks mainly under the cover of dark, be it at night or in dark places like caves. just like his namesake, once he gets a scent on his next victim, he will track them down to the ends of time until they finally turn and fight back

the name ‘bloodhound’ comes from the concept of werewolves shifting during the full moon, the inherent violence of red lifes, the fact that hes literally a dog, bloodmoons, his red circle markings, etc. etc. tl;dr its cool

[the-phantom-ender]

Hybrid SMP Headcanons

bc i said so.

Phantbur 

(as someone whos persona is half phantom, i feel obligated to include some stuff about phantasme here)

- The more well rested people around him are, the more tired he gets - Enjoys causing havoc and will actively run around, appearing and disappearing to shock people - He has a membrane that really really hurts if you tug on it. Do not tug on it. You will just hear him whimper and it will make you sad.  - Wings!! They don’t do much, he can’t actively fly, but they’re cool!! - Hides out with Niki during the day because he burns in the sun! They bond.  - He brings Niki trinkets, which she collects- Little Mermaid style.

Ranboo

(enderboy gets no word play because hes always enderboy)

- This man is TALL. Like he looms over literally everyone else.  - Hides his face when in large groups of people. Does it as casually as possible. - Impulsively teleports a random direction when he panics.  - Has maybe a little too much wood from standing under trees when it rains - On top of being hurt by water, he’s very hydrophobic!  - Despite that: he will be able to interact with Niki if he has to fight the laws of nature themselves.  - Enderman noises are constant. He makes them when shocked, when excited, when happy, when content. Slips into Ender very easily. 

Mer Niki

(i couldnt think of anything clever)

- See Little Mermaid trinket collecting in Wilburs section  - Swims around and collects whatever people discard in the water  - Very determined to figure out how to get to the Nether (she wants to visit Jack’s home!!!) - Really is just a mermaid.  - Easier to understand underwater than above water as her voice is built for underwater speech  - Bubble kisses!!!! Go look up mermaid bubble kiss and watch. She bubble kiss to show gratitude.  - Sharp teeth. Why? Catch underwater prey. 

Tubbox

(wow i cant believe they made tubbox a real thing) 

- Has a shell. It’s like a turtle shell, you cannot take it off without seriously injuring him - His skin is covered in hard scales! Wouldn’t recommend punching him, it hurts.  - Wears a scarf when walking around so he can hide his face without just... going full box mode.  - Sinks like a rock in water. Just. Straight down. It scared Niki half to death the first time.  - Can speak Ender! Talks to Ranboo about missing home a lot,  - Barges headfirst into danger with little regard for his own safety.  - Items kinda hover around him, he doesn’t need to hold them with his hands.

Philytra 

(this one is a stretch im so sorry.)

- feeble old man /hj - genuinely does have to use a cane when the roof is low because of how much it weakens him  - dad. assigned dad. forever, always.  - Rustles his wings when overwhelmed - Sometimes just outright refuses to go places with low roofs out of spite  - His armor is intricate and pretty and much more comfortable looking than heavy armor.  - Wings are genuinely massive, he himself is small but his wingspan is disproportionately big.  - Wacks people with his wings when they’re being stupid. 

Tommy Chick-it

(i tried. i failed. i tried.)

- He’s a chicken. - Tiny baby wings, sooooo bitter that he can’t fly properly - Part of him hates being vegetarian, part of him has gotten so used to it that the idea of eating meat grosses him out.  - Bird lungs. He’s got really controlled breathing that adjusts really well to the high altitudes he sleeps in. - Makes a big show of defending slowly from great heights- he says it’s his dramatic entrance every time. - Doesn’t get cold very easy, this is because of air getting colder the higher you are.  - Hooked toes/talons give more traction while running and let him run faster than just about anyone in a normal footrace! 

Jack Manifire 

(i think this one is good, actually)

- Complains about everywhere being cold. It’s not cold. He’s just used to the Nether.  - Determined to visit Niki properly.  - Much like Ranboo, has probably too much wood.  - Gets more hot the more emotion he’s feeling. like. any emotion.  - Fire hair, Hades style, if he gets angry enough - Goes out of his way to drink poison and stuff to see people’s reactions.  - Incredibly hot to the touch, fire and smoke radiate off of him a good most of the time  - Can auto turn wood into charcoal. This is a blessing and a curse.  - If a part of him gets wet, it gets waterlogged and cant heat up as easily for a bit. Like a scab or something.

[yenafmd]

introducing: nam yena (again).

surprise bitches, i bet y’all thought you’d seen the last of me. but no, i have no shame or self restraint and have returned after barely one month after my dramatic leave, believe me, i’m tired of my own bullshit too. for everyone that is new and has not met met yet (good for y’all ngl) i’m jamie! i hail from gmt+2, go by she/her pronouns and am 22 years old and i’m your resident overly emotional pisces, as understated by... all of this. i had told myself i’d be out of famed a little while longer, aiming for like, early next year after my exams etc etc but then i said,,, sike,,, and came back now. so here we are. below the cut, i’ll leave a rundown of yena. not much has changed in a months time, she’s back in her wild party girl era but other than that, she’s the same old girl we all.... tolerate? as for now, you can find here BIOGRAPHY,  CONNECTIONS and PROFILE all up and running. if you wanna plot, do like this post, slide into my ims or hmu on d*sc*rd: winter gf goeun#5703 ! 

  triggers: emotionally abusive parenting, allusions to hypersexualisation, implied alcoholism

so basics first, nam yena, yenny, 26 year old, cis female, she/her

she’s the... everything of calypso

ok no she’s their maknae, lead vocal, lead dancer, lead rapper, i know it’s a lot bear w/ me

she grew up in incheon as the middle one out of 5 daughters (...and oh boy... can you tell... the middle child syndrome is REAL) in a very strict traditional household, dad was never home and always working, mom was micro-managing every aspect of their lives

yena kinda was always the odd one out, wasn’t particularly gifted academically, didn’t really pull off the soft nd prim nd proper thing her mother demanded of her

there was a lot of rivalry between the sisters, to be the best, to get whatever little attention their parents held over them as a price to be won, needless to say there wasn’t much support to be found there either

yena hit her teenage years and realized that obviously she wasn’t gonna find the attention and love she was looking for at home and that’s when she discovered External Validation and oh boy has she not been the same ever since

got street-scouted for dimensions for having a pretty face and then skipped school to attend the auditions she somehow bullshitted herself thru on absolutelty 0 training

parents were Big Mad when they found out lol but they were also kind of frustrated of dealing with their Bad Child so they just shipped her off to seoul so 1) it would be someone elses problem and 2) in the hopes that if it blew up in her face she’d finally realize they were like Right or whtvr

as a trainee yena was kind of shoved into everything, like dimensions’ silly lil guinea pig, she came in as a blank slate and while she didn’t turn out to be outstanding in Any field, she picked all of them up quite well so dimensions was like ok bet bestie 

didn’t debut w/ calypso initially cuz she was like too young and hadn’t trained enough yet

only sike she debuted half a year later anyway cuz calypso was kinda messy w all these members leaving and suddenly she was trained well enough ig???

(spoiler alert: she wasn’t, dimensions was just fumbling but whtvr)

kinda sucked in their early years ngl but made up for it w/ sheer enthusiasm cuz wow this was her dream even if their music kinda sucked or whtvr and she could hardly sing live without embarassing herself

but like stuff got better as she got more experience and she slowly grew into the bad bitch we all know and??? love ig???

calypso got sexier and yena shed the last of all the doctrination she had received at home only to tip to the entirely wrong end of the scale, suddenly she was a sexi party queen with a big mouth and a mild drinking problem

nam yena only works in extremes ok its either shy wallflower or absolutely insane i don’t make the rules

calypso hit like, their little relevancy peak in 2014 and after that she slowly got pushed into more solo work as well

if she alrdy did a fuckton of different things in calypso get ready for her solo work cuz dimensions was like, youre gonna do all the things, brand deals, acting, magazine shoots, variety

pretty privilege ig 

no but yena’s biggest skills as an idol mainly lay in how likeable she can appear on camera and how hot she is and dimensions heavily leaned into that

yena rlly loved all her lil side projects and esp rlly rlly fell in love with acting

still enjoyed being an idol too but after their like 5 seconds of fame w/ expectation and female president, calypso kinda fell off again and now, like, 7 years later, not much has looked up for them since

doesn’t like, actively want to disband but she is just, burned out ig? so she wouldn’t really mind it either? like switching to some acting label and going all in on that rather than just, having to tend to a pretty much dead music career

definitely favors her personal activities and ends up cutting corners on her efforts as a calypso member when she doesn’t have the headspace/energy to give all her responsibilities 100%

(dw, this whole dramatic arc will only last for three months on, when calypso has their chart reversal.... i will not be held responsible for the person yena will be... gosh she will be INSUFFERABLE)

uh tidbits on her personality:

yena is definitely like the problematic drunk aunt, offering her juniors cigarettes behind the dimensions building and teaching them how to avoid their managers and all that

very loud and very outspoken, the kind of big mouth that could get her in trouble if she wasn’t so good at hiding all of that on camera, in her personal life tho, she Will go off and she will throw hands bitch

definitely tips into like, jaded and wary territory at times when it comes to trusting ppl and their intentions but thats just a lot of family trauma and generally shitty experiences with mainly men as a highly sexualised idol

big everybody wants to date me nobody wants to love me energy, being highly desirable and praised for being pretty has kinda fucked w/ her head and her self-esteem, definitely leans into like vain and super-ficial territory at times because of it

notorious party girl, knows all the good places idols sneak off to to get fucked up, has shown up to work morbidly hungover multiple times but haha nothing problematic about any of that :))

bi queen but also seeking external validation queen and attachement issues queen, good luck to anyone who like l*ves her or whatever

again, kind of cuts corners as an idol from time to time, has had some subpar vocal moments, lazy dancing, obvious lipsyncing but nothing rlly big ever came from it cuz... ngl who cares rlly anyway?

fiercly protective friend though, will not stand for any bs on behalf of the people she cares ab, also enabling friend, if u tell her u killed someone she’ll be like 

material gworl, not all that ridiculously rich (tho her personal schedules definitely help in that aspect) but loves pretty shiny glittery things. very heavily into traditionally ‘femine’ things like make-up and fashion, again, tends to get a bit super-ficial but god damn it let her enjoy the things she likes and that make her feel good, they’re probably the least harmful of her hobbies

tends to jealous and competitive behaviors, very much rooted in her childhood

dang this all got v sad and shit but like haha at least she’s hot and she knows it!!! 

basically yena is a trainwreck but like a fun one with glittery eyeshadow and a nice ass so pls be her friend!!!

[wolfcrunch]

i feel like the retconning is just really poorly worded or making ahnohter take seem worse then it is. Like, that it currently seems like shoto was nothing but a plot advices for Deku to meet enji cause enji now completly took his place. Its somethign I personally feel conflicted abotu too? I support Enjis growth, but at the same time it came to the cost of shotos character, the war redcuing shoto from beign part of the main trio to enjis son and touys brother. So its eh, not retonned but I can't blame people be upset about this writting decision eihter? Like it isnt really bad but it alos is depending from which point of view you look at it. Not that shoto is the first that happen. its one of bnha biggest writtigns flaws, how some characters are jssut thrown out eventually, to me anyway. Still hope shoto is allowed to be mad, understanding but still mad whenever he is back. give him being his own person again. I know you will probaly disagree cause you dont like him, but anyway.

the thing is though, when i see people speak about how horikoshi has retconned the tdrk storyline, its usually not in concerns to shouto and his role - although that possibly plays a part, the biggest issue usually tends to come down to endeavor and his involvement in the story altogether. the fact that when we were introduced to him, we were to think he was nothing but an awful person and an even worse father, despite doing good at his job. some people hated him more than most, proceeded to create headcanons and then... didn’t want to admit those were wrong, when horikoshi began to give more insight to endeavor’s character itself and actually show him trying to change and trying to atone, rather than keeping his character stagnant and one-dimensional. rather than just keeping him as the trope-filled, shitty father that a lot of media tend to have.

and because it was endeavor’s character type of all things getting attention, and nuance, and being fleshed out and shown to be more complex than originally thought, and in turn fleshing out the other members of the family and making everyone more complex than we gave credit for. people didn’t like that. 

as a matter of fact i personally havent seen as many people be too upset about shouto in comparison, although thats maybe because it either doesnt go into the tag or i dont check the tag often enough. i dont think the issue is that his character is thrown out - although his character has less of a presence compared to izuku and even bkg - but rather the subplot of the tdrk family isnt just from his viewpoint anymore, and he sort of has to share spotlight with everyone else as a whole, at least for now. i think thats why i dont like him as much in comparison to izuku or bkg or even endeavor himself, because shouto doesn’t essentially stand out on his own. he’s had his moments during the tdrk-important arcs (pro hero, endeavor agency, even a bit during plw) but its always been very... i suppose its more subtle than what we see from endeavor, or even dabi, who both have different views and different reactions to the same situation.

its essentially how i see deku’s character progression up to this point - its subtle to a point where its hard to really see it among other things that are more apparent and out there (for example, the character arcs for both bkg and endeavor). shouto’s involvement and growing into himself is progressing more slowly compared to bkg or endeavor, since given the rather brash and harsh first impressions, its a lot easier to tell when they’re truly more reflective when it comes to their previous actions.

but i do hope that he’ll get something whenever we cut back to ua - which tbh i dont think will be for another month or two at least. with deku out of the picture (for now) and endeavor at the very least out there taking villains down, without his son in tow, it’ll give shouto a chance away from two very big characters (deku + endv) involved in his own arc. kind of like how izuku is now outside of ua and away from some important people part of his arc, i could see a very similar character growth to come from shouto if he becomes more reflective on everything once we next see him. and ofc, on a bit of a lesser scale seeing as not being mc means he’s bound to have a little less screentime in comparison.

shouto being mad despite being understanding of the situation is something im kinda 50/50 on tbh, i could see it genuinely going either way for his character. although my first thought is to think he wont be as mad as people are beginning to believe, it really depends on how he is when we next see him at ua - we haven’t seen him yet to build up tension and suspense, much like how we haven’t seen bkg, so i’ll hold any final judgments or guesses until we actually get a look and a feel for how he’s feeling himself.

[snaill-dragon]

Say Hello to Tomorrow

aha! I rewrote this piece like I talked about! thats two writings in one day(here's the other if you haven't seen it)! for those who don't remember Bleedingheart, she's a silk/hive hybrid I made some pride art for during pride month, here's the link if you wanna check it out. Im actually super proud of this new one, and the old one, but still! also im posting this to Tumblr from my computer, so the formatting may not go funky this time!! Content warning for: Foul language from Hearts bad mouth, and uh, its not too obvious here, but general implications for Heart not having a great life(Dont worry this is generally a sweet piece, and things get better for her.). Also not a content warning really, but keep in mind Heart can be a little grouchy/mean at times.

It was late evening, when Bleedingheart found herself sitting alone on one of her hive’s balconies, staring out at the ocean quietly. She always came out to watch the sunset when she could, but she came a little early today, after all this would be her last one here. Behind her she could hear the hive busy away, but out here it was almost bearable, even if it was always annoying. Was a bit of quiet too much for her to ask for? She sighed and focused her gaze out to the horizon.

The ocean was usually dark and cloudy, shades of indigo otherwise seen in the night sky, but when it got closer to sunset it had a softer glow, as the sun's reflection shone. It glowed light blues and white, as the water pulled and crashed. It was nice, peaceful…

Eventually her thoughts drifted back to the dragons she had met today, her chance to escape. She wasn’t used to seeing dragons from the pyrrhian tribes, these ones were skywings, with odd reds and oranges that she wasn’t used to seeing on anything but silkwings, and the more occasional hivewing. They hadn’t been sure about her at first, but Heart had convinced the odd dragons she could be useful, and they had been willing to help her.

She was jared from her thoughts by the sound of approaching footsteps, she looked over, a hivewing was walking towards her. He was almost entirely black, with a few gold scales on his face and wings.

“Hey Honeycomb, do you need something?” she asked, and the taller hivewing sat next to her, wrapping his tail around his feet.

“I wanted to say goodbye.” He smiled at her, a bit nervously, Heart narrowed her eyes at him.

“Who told you I was leaving?” she asked,

“I’m… not going to tell you that, you still have enough time here to swear someone out, and you would definitely find a way to fit it into your schedule.” He provided, and she gave him a flat glare, though with a more playful feeling behind it.

“You're too nice for your own good, Comb. It's gonna get you fucked over one day.”

“Well, until that day comes, I’ll just hope everyone is nice back.”

“I find it annoying,” Heart dismissed, turning her tail around to lightly flick at his legs, as if to prove her point.

“Well, I know you wouldn’t do that to me, and you're a bit… different from the other dragons I know here.” He chuckled lightly, pushing her tail away a bit.

“Because I want to leave?” Heart asked, playing innocent.

“Because you can be a bit…” he paused, seeming a bit unsure of his wording, “uh, childish at times.”

“Oh, no need to mince words. I’m a self proclaimed immature bitch,” Heart jokingly sprawled her talons across her chest in mock pride, laughing loudly.

“H-heart, don’t be so loud, one of the dragonets could hear you.” He stuttered, Heart frowned.

“It's not like they’ll be seeing me again.” she says simply, and for a second there's silence, before Honeycomb asks

“Why are you leaving?”

“It's not obvious? I’m unhappy here. More than just unhappy I hate it here” Heart’s voice raised at the end, perhaps a bit too much, and she glanced around, they were still alone on the balcony.

“You always said that,” Honeycomb admitted, “but… I guess it never occurred to me that you'd want to leave.”

“Yeah, well, this is just something I’ve always known, if that makes any sense?” Heart looked back to the ocean, away from Honeycomb.

“Well-”

“Hey look,” she interrupts without care, “it’s finally sunset… it’s really beautiful.” Honeycomb followed her gaze, and found himself smiling a bit.

“Your last one, from here at least.” He whisper, Heart laughs a little again,

“I had the same thought earlier.”

“Hah” He lets out a small chuckle, before being a bit more serious again, “I can’t believe I may never see you again.”

“After tomorrow? Yeah, it's pretty unlikely we’ll see each other again.” Heart was looking out at the ocean still, but she could feel the tone shifting.

“I think it's brave of you, to go somewhere you want to be, to leave something you know behind.”

“You always see the best in things, its actually kind of annoying, especially when it isn’t true… but for real, thank you.”

“I think it’s less of me being an optimist, and you being a pessimist” Honeycomb tried to lighten things up again, and Heart made an amused scoff.

“Oh please, don’t act all knowing, we know its both” she joked, smiling.

“Always the kidder, Heart.” He tried to laugh too, but Honeycomb didn’t sound as happy. Heart finally turned to look at him, he was staring at his feet.

“...don’t worry, I’ll stop being a cause for such conflicting emotions tomorrow.” She muttered, a bit more aggressive than she wanted it to come out. He looked surprised,

“What? Oh, no you’re not a bad thing.”

“Honeycomb you are literally the only person in this hive who doesn't hate me, and that's only because you're an idiot.” Heart nudged him a little, and he looked at her again.

“Is that why you want to leave?” he asked, and her face fell even further.

“Not really. I just… I feel if I stay here I wont get anywhere… as fucking stupid and cheesy at it is, tomorrow brings me hope. The first bit of hope to go somewhere I want in life in a long long time.” Heart looked away from him again, she didn’t like feeling this open. But it was the last time she’d see Honeycomb, she owed him a little honesty.

“I don’t think it’s that stupid, it makes sense, you want a happy life. Thats a good thing Heart.” The hybrid scoffed, no amusement in it this time, Honeycomb reached out a talon to comfort her, but Heart stood up and moved away.

“Right… I’m gonna go get some sleep, tomorrows a big day.” She starts to walk away, slowly in case he had anything else to say.

“Sleep well Heart… I wish you luck in finding what you're looking for one day.”

“Hah, I can only hope...” She walked back into the hive, Honeycomb a few steps behind her, for the very last time.

[a-libra-writes]

A Dragon’s Fire - Daenerys x Red Priestess!Reader

heyo! this was requested by an anon who originally wanted an assassin w fire magic, and i compromised w a red priestess who was an assassin but decided not to hurt dany (bc that seems neat!) but ive been in the shit this week so ... i wrote something fluffy instead. I know, im a big fail, lol. I hope yall enjoy it anyway

Summary: Dany has a big gay crush. That’s it, that’s the fic

“Is she everything you hoped for?”

Y/N did not answer the man behind her. She focused on the flames in front of her, dancing in the brazier into familiar shapes. She had seen them for many years. It’s why she was chosen by the priests, and since the red comet fell from the sky, they whispered if she listened close. Here, in the dragon queen’s palace, she could hear the fire inside the dragons. 

The bear knight’s metal armor and annoyed tone was not enough to distract her. Y/N reached her hand into the fire, it shaped into a dragon that sat in her palm. She didn’t feel the fire, but her red silk sleeve was burning. 

Jorah disliked her silence, but he disliked many things about Y/N. When he first saw her fire tricks, he thought they were illusions, but the heat of them said otherwise. Then there was the first time she set upon Drogon…

He suppressed his shiver and set that memory aside. “The khaleesi wants to see you.”

Y/N closed her palm, and the dragon slivered out, flying back into the brazier. The flames glowed blue for just a fraction of a second. She waved her hand over them, and the fire smothered itself. Smoke rose out of the hot coals, but those too began to rapidly cool. 

She wondered if the knight was still unsettled by her magic. Even the khaleesi had moments of awe and uneasiness, although she was fond of watching. Y/N stood, her silk robes gently scraping the marble floor. Jorah was already walking away, and she made no effort to run to catch up to him. She knew where Daenerys was.

The chambers Daenerys set aside for her council was well-lit and had an impressive, engraved table at the center of it. Its legs used to be harpies made of carved marble and ivory, but she had them removed for dragons made of onyx and rubies. Y/N liked the change, and how they glittered in the light. Perhaps she was biased - her own ruby hung around her neck, although it was far larger and smoother than any gemstone Daenerys had seen before.

The girl’s purple eyes lit up as Y/N entered the room. Y/N couldn’t help but return the sentiment, giving her khaleesi a smile. She was pleased there was no one else in the council room. “You wished to see me, khaleesi?”

“Yes. Jorah, you may leave us.”

Jorah didn’t protest, but he did shoot Y/N a look before he left the room and closed the doors. Y/N noticed there were no Unsullied in the chambers, either.

“I talked to him about what he said the other day,” Daenerys said after a moment of silence. “Ser Barristan, as well. They don’t … In the Seven Kingdoms, your sort of magic is seen as a dream. Unreal.”

“As unreal as dragons?” Y/N tilted her head, and Daenerys tried not to focus on how her hair slid across her bare shoulders. When Y/N first entered her service, she wore modest robes that covered nearly every inch of her. Since then she had adopted a more elegant, free style, at Daenerys’ subtle suggestion. She was pleased with the result. 

Daenerys set her thoughts straight. “True. The reason I called you here was to locate Rhaegal. I haven’t seen him flying overhead in some time.”

“Nor have I.” Y/N touched the ruby that dangled by her collarbone. It was held with a simple gold chain, and anyone could have missed the way it seemed to flicker. It could have been a trick of the light, but Dany knew otherwise. “Would you like me to find him?”

Of course Y/N knew how to do that. She knew how to start and stop fire, how to dream about it, how to see into it. It was only logic that she could find it. She once told Daenerys that the dragons were beings of fire, swirling and living heat. She looked at them like …

… Well, not how others looked at them. It was hard to puzzle out Y/N’s expressions and thoughts. You could ask her something directly, and she’d have some sort of strange answer, or she’d just stay quiet. Daenerys could tell when Y/N was thinking something over, at least. Her pretty eyes would lower, and she’d touch that ruby - was it hot to the touch? It seemed like it - and she would be gone. Sometimes she stayed very still for hours, staring into fire, or staring into nothing.

But she’d always have an answer eventually.

Daenerys’ knights warned against Y/N’s counsel, telling her not to listen too closely to the words of a strange woman of a strange religion. Even Missandei had commented on the followers of Rhllor’s intent to convert King Robert and other places, and the strange magics they could possess. They warned her as if she did not know how to think for herself.

It upset her, but Y/N took such words in stride. She often seemed to know what others thought and said about her, and she did little to stop it. Missandei had warmed to her, Ser Barristan did not think she was any real threat, but Ser Jorah remained unconvinced and wary. Grey Worm did not like talk of magic or priests, but he had no real ill thought of Y/N, and Daario liked to ask her all sorts of ridiculous questions for his own amusement. 

“I have found him, khaleesi.”

Daenerys couldn’t believe her thoughts had drifted again. Y/N often had that effect on her. “Where? Can we ride to him?”

“We could. He is in no danger, he is simply occupied with…” A soft smile came to Y/N’s red lips. “Something he has not seen before. That’s why he’s been away.”

“What could possibly interest him for that long? He’s been gone for days.”

“Shall we find out, your grace?”

Ser Barristan and Ser Jorah would warm her against this, ask her to take one of them or the Unsullied on the trip. Grey Worm would ask to escort them, Missandei would worry and send guards after them anyway. Daario would want to come along. Daenerys looked to the open, blue sky. There was still plenty of sun left.

“Let’s be quick,” She said, already giddy even if they hadn’t stepped a foot outside of the palace yet. “Missandei will keep them busy. Do you want to share my horse?”

Y/N was not an adept rider, but she still said, “That is alright, khaleesi. I can ride my own.”

Daenerys tried not to feel disappointed.

The danger outside the protective walls of Meereen was real, but Daenerys comforted herself with the fact that Drogon and Viserion often flew about these hills, and no one had seen them leave. Y/N said it would not take long, that they’d return toward the end of sunset.

Why do I keep believing her? Daenerys asked herself. She glanced aside, watching the woman reposition her reins. Her normally serene facade was broken everytime she rode a horse. She was not afraid of the creatures, but she had only recently learned to ride, and the beasts weren’t always fond of her.

“If you keep moving like that, you’ll make him nervous,” Daenerys said. “There’s no need to clutch the reins so tightly, either.”

Y/N nodded, and tried to relax her posture. Luckily, she picked an agreeable horse. Daenerys recalled the saddle sores and aches she received when she learned to ride. Her handmaidens gave her a balm to ease the pain. Maybe she could find that for Y/N.

I’ll ask someone to deliver it to her. I couldn’t give it to her myself - no, who says I can’t? But what would she think…

It was hard to tell exactly what Y/N was thinking, but sometimes she slipped, like now. Her brows were slightly furrowed as she righted her posture, and once she was satisfied with it, she kept glancing down at the ground, or at the horse’s ears. Y/N pet his soft neck, then slowly reached up to scratch between his ears. She jerked her hand back as her horse shook his head and made an annoyed sound.

“He didn’t like that,” Daenerys laughed, and it was adorable how Y/N gently laughed, too. She was usually so subdued, so quiet, so … what Daenerys used to be. 

“But his ears are so cute,” Y/N went back to petting his neck, which he much preferred. “Doesn’t it make you think of a cat.”

“No, not at all.” 

“Not even a little? There were some strays I’d feed at the temple. Their ears would twitch when I came by. They could smell the food in my pockets.”

Sometimes Y/N would speak of the temple she grew up in, or the other Free Cities she had travelled to, the friends she had known. Perhaps if she showed this side to the others, they would trust her more, but Daenerys was happy to have it to herself. 

The grass thinned and made way for rocky hills and in the distance, orange and yellow canyons. The sun was beginning its descent, and soon the sky would match those oranges and yellows. Y/N stopped her horse. 

“We can walk from here. Do you hear him?”

Daenerys stopped her own horse and listened. There was the slightest breeze, some distant bird calling, the sound of her horse’s nicker and … 

She shook her head. “If he’s close, we would have heard him by now.”

Y/N dismounted with some inelegance, but she fixed her clothes and just smiled. “Maybe you will when we get closer.”

They tied the horses to one of the few trees in the dry area, and Daenerys followed Y/N’s lead. 

It could be a trap. She could have men waiting there, or there could have been someone following us …

The thought was fleeting, and Daenerys fell in beside her. They both changed to more practical clothing, but Y/N still had a shimmering red cloak tied around her shoulders. As they walked, Daenerys began to hear something strange. It was faint, but as they came closer…

“Water?” She looked at Y/N.

Y/N’s sweet lips curled upward. She often smelled of smoke and spice, and Daenerys wondered if she tasted that way, too. 

They came to the edge of a small canyon, which could be better described as a deep ravine. Water glistened at the bottom of it, and more importantly, the deep green scales of her dear Rhaegal. He lifted his wings high and water spilled on his back.

“What is he doing?” Daenerys asked, but she was answered just a moment later. Water spewed up from the ground in a huge geyser, all at once, and Rhaegal happily opened his mouth and snapped at it. The water fell in thick droplets all around the dragon, the ravine and the two of them.

Y/N pulled her red hood over her head. Daenerys wiped her brow. “You didn’t tell me to pack a hood.”

“Apologies, khaleesi.” Y/N giggled. She peered downward. “If we’re steady, we can walk down to him.”

Rhaegal’s long tail lazily swung back and forth in the water. He was resting, and it only submerged his arms and legs, but he was content. Daenerys noticed all the charred bones scattered around the ravine. She wondered how much was in the water. Her feet found stability, and she carefully followed a natural, steadying path downward. Y/N was just ahead, although she wasn’t as confident in her descent.

They came to a small landing and had to stop there. The rest of the way was simply too steep. Rhaegal seemed to just notice them then, and Daenerys’ heart swelled as her child lifted his head and gazed at her with his sharp eyes. They weren’t merely brown, but bronze, with all the steadiness and strength that metal held. She touched his nose and muzzle, marvelling at how much he had grown. 

His eyes quickly flashed toward Y/N, and Daenerys felt his growl vibrate underneath her hand. She frowned and quickly said, “No.”

She remembered Y/N’s first encounter with Drogon. That was also the day she had taken the strange, beautiful priestess into her court.

Just like with Drogon, Y/N showed no fear. She stepped forward, but she didn’t make an attempt to touch the dragon. She lowered her hood, and Rhaegal’s long, black pupil tightened.

Daenerys felt the heat of his breath as he snorted through his nose. She tensed, forcing herself to stay calm as she repeated her order. “No.”

The geyser blew again, and Daenerys didn’t flinch. Rhaegal watched it rise in the air, then pulled away from his mother to open his jaws at the water again. His black teeth glittered in the setting sun.

Daenerys looked to Y/N. The priestess was so calm and steady, so unaffected … except Dany caught how her shoulders sagged in relief.

“He isn’t like Drogon,” Daenerys said, remembering that day. “He wouldn’t have hurt you.”

Y/N replied simply. “Drogon did not hurt me.” 

Had you been any other woman, he would have killed you. Except ... 

It took days for the servants to remove the char marks on the marble, and some of the melted pillars were still being repaired. Daenerys was half tempted to leave them like that, as a warning to any potential enemies, but it was unsettling to think it may have been Y/N that was burned away.

Except, she didn’t. Her red robes and long hair did, but her necklace and body remained unharmed. Daenerys and her court watched as the fire arced around her, singing away everything but skin and metal, and that ruby she never removed. Y/N looked Drogon straight in the eyes, even as they were obscured by his fire. 

His temper always was the worst. She had done nothing but approach Daenerys too quickly. Jorah was the one who pulled her back behind one of the pillars, and Daenerys remembered how the heat licked her arms as it tried to reach around the marble. Daario had pulled Missandei to cover behind the other pillar. 

Drogon almost never came to the palace, he always wanted to be in the sky, yet he came down on that day. And when the fire cleared and the floor was charred black except for a small circle … He stood back, and Y/N still looked at him. She only trembled slightly. 

She isn’t any other woman.

The geyser blew again, and rained down upon them. The water’s heat didn’t bother her, but all the dust from the ride was stuck to her skin, and the water didn’t clean it off. She had dust in her hair, too, and probably some stray pieces of grass. 

She smiled. It had been some time since she was properly dirty after a ride, and she looked forward to a perfumed bath and brushing her hair when she got back. Daenerys glanced to Y/N, who was occupied with watching Rhaegal. She also had dirt on her cheeks and neck, and some in her hair, and maybe if she wanted a bath afterward, too…

Daenerys reached forward and tried to rub some of the dirt off her cheeks. It didn’t work, but Y/N’s pretty eyes went wide. She didn’t pull away. “Khaleesi?”

Daenerys stepped forward, gently moving her palm so she had Y/N’s whole cheek. Just as she thought - as she dreamed? - the priestess’ skin was flushed and warmer than anyone she’d touched before. 

“You can say my name,” Daenerys said. She tried to tease, but her beating heart and their closeness made her breath catch. She thought Y/N was wearing color on her lips, but perhaps they just always looked like that? 

“Daenerys.” Y/N tried it out, and the dragon queen felt like a girl again, feeling her heart soar at hearing her name on those lips. She leaned in, bringing Y/N closer to her. Their foreheads brushed, and the warmth between them turned to heat.

A piercing roar broke through the sky, and cut straight between them. Daenerys recognized the sound at once, and it distracted her as Y/N jumped away. The woman’s cheeks were as red as her cloak.

Above them, Viserion broke through the clouds and bellowed down at his brother. The first cry was for Daenerys, and the second was probably a command for Rhaegal to move aside. The green dragon made room for his brother, and the water reached the top of the ravine as Viserion splashed straight into it. Y/N pulled Daenerys back before the muddy water could splash all over them.

Daenerys was far too overheated and flustered, and the sight of her children amusing themselves only gave her a little relief. At least Rhaegal was alright. 

Y/N had pulled her hood back down, and it was a shame. At least her lips were still visible through the shadow, although looking wasn’t as good as tasting.

“We’ve been gone for a long time. Let’s ride back.” Daenerys led the way out of the ravine. Y/N said nothing until they were back to the horses, who were understandably spooked from the dragon that flew overhead not fifteen minutes ago. Y/N held her horse’s reins and tried to soothe it, and Daenerys helped, touching the priestess’ hands perhaps more than was needed. 

Y/N didn’t pull away, and that gave Daenerys the courage to kiss her cheek. The soft dyed linen brushed her own cheek, and she caught a whiff of perfume.

The priestess giggled, and it was a better relief than the breeze that was slowly blowing across the hills. “Please, Daenerys. I’m covered in dust.”

“I am, too. Let’s wash up when we ride back - together?”

She caught Y/N’s bright eyes under the hood, and they sparkled as she blushed and tugged the hood further down. “Yes, that would be lovely.”

So it was decided. By the time they reached the gates of Meereen and entered the Great Pyramid, Y/N had dropped her hood and her easy, serene face had returned. She disregarded the suspicious looks, she gave an easy nod to Missandei, who returned a tentative smile. As far as anyone knew, Y/N’s mind was wrapped in her usual visions and prayers.

Until Daenerys brushed her dirty hair aside and smiled at her, then Y/N’s cheeks blushed and her eyes widened in that adorable way. She let the khaleesi take her hand, entwine their fingers, and guide her to the great baths. Y/N’s red cloak fluttered behind her, drawing attention to them. Some Unsullied guards probably saw, and surely others, but Daenerys didn’t care. 

She’s like fire, and I am a dragon - how could she bring any harm to me?

[fortheloveoflizards]

ive actually been a fan of wof for years now, im just not super active in the fandom and i guess id like to be? so here i am, sending u an awkward ask lol. anyways, the more i think about animus magic, the more i hate the way tui executed the concept? like theres barely any consequences or limitations. dragons can do whatever they want with it, which is bad for the plot. idk what are ur thoughts?

Hah, this isn’t awkward at all, I actually do have a lot of thoughts on animus magic, particularly how it differs in each tribe. I think giving each tribe different types of magic, as well as individual drawbacks on top of the general “you go crazy if you abuse your power”. Though I think the latter could have worked as more of a “if you use your power selfishly, it’ll turn on you” sort of situation? In my headcanons, each tribe has a type of magic they work best with, and a type of magic that puts strain on their physical form.

As the tribe closest in appearance to traditional European dragons, I like to headcanon Skywing animus magic as Weather and Element based. Stuff like creating storms and controlling wind currents is easy to imagine, but also magic pertaining to emotions, often fueled by the feelings of the animus themselves. A Skywing animus might find it easiest to use an object to better conduct magic, like a branch or, most commonly, crystals of different types. Skywing magic is what you would call “cast spells”, meaning they have no need to write or say what they wish to do, just think or “feel” it. As for drawbacks, emotional instability is kind of obvious, huh? There’s also bad weather being attracted to the animus, and parts of their body slowly turning into whatever object they used to channel their spells. As an example, using crystals in his spells might result in an animus’ scales turning into crystals themselves, whereas an animus that used a branch to direct air currents would notice her tail growing small twigs and leaves out from between her scales. The magic Skywings have most difficulty with is Herbal and Brewed magic. I feel since Skywing magic is very much based on action and emotion, it would be difficult for a Skywing animus to properly channel it in such a passive way.

Mudwing animus magic is perhaps my favourite to think about, it being what I call Herbal or Brewed magic. Mudwing animi specialize in potions and medicine, though this is more of an inherent tribe skill, their magic works best when imbued into food or drink. To continue with this technique, “power-ups” would be cool to see. Potions to give a dragon super strength or speed, or to keep their scales permanently warm so they can always breath fire. I think Mudwings would be most likely to use so called “magical ingredients” for their spells, as in the act of the animus using an ingredient makes it magic, rather than a normal dragon including it in their stew. I don’t feel there would be much room for drawbacks when it comes to Mudwing magic, so I’m gonna say there isn’t one. However, I will say Brewed magic is one of the hardest to perfect, as if a quantity of ingredient is even slightly off, disaster is imminent. Transformation magic is likely to be the hardest for a Mudwing animus to use. While Brewed magic is hard, it’s precise and a recipe can be done a hundred times for a hundred different dragons, and the effects never alter. Transformation magic is the opposite, in that the spell must be altered for every dragon, as every dragon is slightly different.

Next up is Sandwings! They lean most towards Written and Solar based magic. As you can guess, this means their magic is linked at least partially to the sun. Though they can’t control them, Sandwing animi often have very keen senses when it comes to the weather and seasonal changes. Change itself is a big thing for Sandwings, so seasonal magic is common. Sandwings also find writing spells easiest, as the spell is then precise and exactly as they need it. Sandwing riddles, told at parties or in passing as a fun conversation topic, have their roots in animus magic. Sandwing animi also enjoy the company of animal companions, usually camels or vultures; animals that can carry scrolls and items for the animus in question. The downside for Sandwing animi can be either mental or physical. They can start forgetting things, losing track of time, generally being scatterbrained, which eventually leads to them losing their entire memory. Or, their scales begin to darken, although I’m undecided on what kind of colour they would turn. Should they just turn golden or maybe more of a sunburnt orange or red. Perhaps even black. I dunno, maybe all three. Spoken and Lunar magic are the clear opposites of Written and Solar, so it’s pretty obvious why a Sandwing animus would have trouble in this area. Sandwing magic can be very picky, kind of like a sadistic genie that goes by what a wisher says, rather than what they mean. A dragon has to be very careful how they phrase a spell, which is hard for most Sandwing animi, hence their avoidance of Spoken spells.

I think my Seawing animus headcanon is the closest to being confirmed in canon, since the Seawing animi we see using their magic are usually using what I’ve called Spoken and Lunar magic. This includes regeneration(like healing of themselves and others), curses, transfiguration of objects and generally verbal commands. And for the record, “verbal commands” is usually, like the animus test the Seawings take, telling an inanimate object to do something. Lunar magic is connected to the moon and the tides, opposite to Solar magic. This can mean it gets stronger under a full moon, and gives a Seawing animus a kind of bond to the ocean the more they use Lunar magic. As with Sandwing animi, the magic that comes most natural to Seawings involves change. Changing tides, moon rotations, drifting currents and rips, all those factor into their magic’s strength, in and out of water. Seawing animi can also suffer a lowering of inhibitions, and can suffer what I call “going feral”. Theirs is the most noticeable, though this final drawback can affect all tribes. I like to think the more a Seawing animus uses their magic, the more they start to look like a deep sea creature. Brighter glowing scales, thinner scales overall(sometimes so thin you can almost see their insides, bleurgh!), elongated, thinner teeth, and increased speed of growth to their whole body. As you can probably guess, Written and Solar magic are the areas that cause the most trouble for Seawing animi. I’m not sure what else to comment here, since I feel it’s pretty straightforward, so there you go.

Rainwings! The tribe I’m most like! I feel that since the average Rainwing can change the colour of their scales regardless of magical ability, Transformation magic would be a perfect match for any animi that might exist in the tribe. Transformation magic includes form shifting of themselves and others, body hrror/torture(which differs from simple form shifting because it’s specifically supposed to cause pain) and transfiguration of objects. Transformation magic requires knowledge of how the specific dragon’s body works, moves and how their mind reacts to things. You might think the average Rainwing is too self-centered to be capable of that kind of perceptiveness, but I believe they’re more perceptive than they’re portrayed in-canon. I think the most noticeable consequence of a Rainwing animus using their magic is their scale colours “glitching”. If the Rainwing is naturally purple and green and they try to turn red and blue, areas of their scales might change slower than the rest, or not change altogether. A camouflaged Rainwing might suddenly find themselves bright pink and orange. Stuff like that. Weather magic is most difficult for a Rainwing animus, since it requires a lot of, I guess passionate emotions? Weather magic is loud and aggressive and takes a lot of power to control. It also relies heavily on being strongly connected to every emotion, and can backfire terribly on a dragon that doesn’t know how to wrangle that kind of power.

Mind and Time magic is what I’ve assigned for Nightwings! I felt it fits with their whole Mystical Infinite Powers aesthetic. Obviously, Mind magic includes mindreading and and Time magic future vision - which were most likely a gift from a Nightwing animus a long time ago. Other abilities include fate writing(a spell that can change an otherwise unchangeable future), enchanting, illusions, and changing minds/the perceptions of a dragon. This magic is actually relatively simple to perform, and one of the most used types by all animus dragons. That doesn’t make it any less powerful or dangerous, in fact it’s probably more dangerous that it’s so easy to use. Nightwings certainly haven’t been using it for the best purposes. This is the magic I think is the root cause of dragons losing their minds, since “Mind” is like one whole half of the magic. The unfortunate thing is that Nightwings are excellent bullshitters, so they at least last a while before anyone figures out something’s wrong. The side effect of using other types of magic is most notably scale discolouration, to the point that there are records of completely white, full-blood Nightwings. Since Icewings and Nightwings are Enemies For Life I figure their magics would clash just as much, out of principal. Reflective magic in particular requires the user to be self aware, to know their faults and, if only momentarily, be at peace with them. Nightwings are pretty in denial about a lot of stuff, it’s part of the culture they’ve built up.

Finally, Reflective and Defensive magic is the natural inclination of Icewings. That means shielding and barrier magic - which can be physical or psychological, insightful magic, illusions and star spells. No insightful magic is Not future vision, if you make that comparison in front of even a regular Icewing you will be murdered. The Icewing mind is typically pretty guarded already, as we see when Moon tries to read them. I like to believe that an animus a long time ago used their Gift to make it so Nightwings can’t read the tribe’s minds, or at least not easily. This would be an example of a psychological barrier spell. Star spells are tied to the stars(no duh) like Solar and Lunar magic are tied to their respective namesakes. However, as opposed to change, star spells are constant. Once one is cast, it stays forever. Almost all Icewing magic is a star spell of some kind, making other dragons very wary of an animus born from the tribe. Thankfully, the fact that Icewing magic includes that of Defense, it’s rarely used for aggressive purposes. I believe Icewing magic would backfire by crystalising within the user’s bones, making their joints stiff and their mind fuzzy. They may dissociate from the world and eventually be lost, as with Sandwings. As I said, Icewings and Nightwings are opposites in magic, though there are overlaps which serve to infuriate both tribes. Considering Nightwing animus magic supposedly came from Icewings, the former retained some of the abilities of the latter.

There you are, my thoughts on dragon magic. This turned into much more of a headcanons post than an answer, so I hope you don’t mind. Thanks so much for the ask, and I hope you find content creators that make you feel safe being active in the fandom!