#im REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS !!! can you tell
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okay so very long thinkpiece about meljay and jayce' treatment of mel / the writers treatment of mel and how i think that all things considered she hasnt really won as much as we think she did
the thing about this that makes me so mad or rather sad (both, actually) is that we learn in season 1 how mel was brought up, that she didn't get to be soft and kind, that her surroundings were hard and rough just like her mother was, that love isn't a thing she knows like that especially not in relation to vulnerability. now if you think about media in general there is a pattern we know. the black woman is always the strong woman, the independent woman, the woman who doesnt get to be vulnerable bc of the first two points. so here comes this man she's trying to use not just for her own endeavors but for the good of piltover, clearly having a different mindset than her mother, and he cracks her open just like that. he's vulnerable with her and he lets her be vulnerable with him and it allows this woman this kind of vulnerability that she was never allowed to feel. she feels and she loves and there is someone who holds her and looks out for her when things go bad. he is his first thought after the bombing and hes so loving and endearing unlike her mother who is concerned, of course, but straight back to business too. and oh what a lovely thing that was to watch as a black woman who to this day still doesn't get to see this as often as we really should
so mel gets to experience something she hasnt before and you can tell it means something to her because when she gets back in act 3 the first reaction to him is an excited, hopeful one.
this is the man she cares deeply for and it is also the man who shes comforted before many times. something she needs in those very confusing times too. something she might be looking out for. something she might hope to get herself. some comforting after what shes been through for months. someone to share what is going on with her and how confusing it is to find out all those lies and secrets about herself.
until she notices how changed he is, how different he looks, so instantly she is worried. of course! who wouldnt be! she very likely didnt even know he was missing since its the first time we see her back in the city so she must've assumed he has been here and well for the whole time being (does she even know how long its been?) but it isnt fine as we know. she puts herself second! immediately! (and rewatching that scene now it actually makes me mad how she does that. and how anyone can question any of her feelings for him when shes immediately all jayce. or how in general people think shes only interested in her own goals) she asks this man who has shown her to be vulnerable around him and it BEING FINE, what happened, shes opening herself up to him, again, over and over, and he not only tells her it doesnt matter (what happened to him) but TURNS HIS BACK ON HER. he is literally shutting her off. he is saying with his body she does not get to do that. and for someone who has grown up like this, with a mother cutting off any kind of displays of weakness, this must be a familiar feeling, something that goes off like a bell
but she still tries! she still tries! she sees something is wrong but she tries to get comfort anyway, because this is jayce, right, this is the man she cares for deeply, the man who has opened this door for her and the door she's let herself through, the man who has always had compassion for her. of course she tries again. why wouldn't she? so she starts that something has happened to her but he doesn't even let her tell him what happened (actually it makes me so mad seeing this again and how crazy hostile he is towards her, its like im looking at the mel hating part of arcanetwt and him repeating beat for beat what theyve been saying for years) he doesnt give her room to speak, just takes it for himself, prioritizing himself and his own feelings. and, yes, figuring out the bombing thing and wanting to talk about it is valid and i think in general this could've been a great angsty way to deal with this topic IF they would've had the opportunity to talk this out properly but what happens instead is that the man that makes mel feel safe starts INTERROGATING her like she is a criminal that should be held for trial FOR SAVING HIM something she doesnt even undestand herself. and suddenly she is in a whole different position and i think by now she knows that this kind of compassion and understanding and room for vulnerability isn't part of their conversation anymore
she loses her composure and that of course isnt a first because she has started to be less put together around him, allowing her more room to "sway" but this kind of destruction is a different one because she feels at trial, feels cornered, feels like she has to explain herself but - and thats what is important - isnt heard. and i think that is something she knows very well, something shes grown up with, trying to explain herself and not being heard.
all of that happens while he is, mind you, still holding onto that hammer. something she surely notices too. the man who's usually quick to let down his defences around her, who isnt councilor talis or mister talis but just jayce around her, is holding onto that hammer like shes a threat. so he tells her he thinks shes lying and she asks him why he would think she'd do that, obviously, because her understanding of their relationship and their trust is a different one than his or at least this jayce that has come back from the arcane, because clearly this kind of understanding comes from somewhere and it comes from the times they've spent together alone throughout season 1 and a little in the beginning of season 2.
he throws at her that shes been using him, something that surprises her, because clearly she doesnt know what has happened, but she tries to explain anyway, because she doesnt know what has happened at least not in full (as you can tell by her reaction to viktor appearing, sensing the hostile mood between both, but also the way she reacts when viktor mentions the noxians intentions), and you can see that these thoughts of his are a result of months in the arcane alone with them and imagining conversations over conversations (although for me its still hard to understand how he grew that hostile towards her this quickly as if she were responsible for everything that happened but those are thoughts for a different post). he crashes out during that conversation, his face is warped with hatred and that is. all. for. her. to. see. and then BOOM goes the hammer off. mid conversation. a conversation that should feel safe with a man she should feel safe with but none of that is there. there is no space for her. (and yes i know hes aiming at viktors puppet but that isnt somethng mel is aware in that moment)
it all leads up to a fight and eventually they walk together and he apologizes, although very distantly and without much explanation, and despite it all, despite having good reasons to shut off and not share what she's feeling, she does. she talks to him about what is on her mind and they have a short, bittersweet exchange but it's just nowhere to what they've established in the first season. as a shipper of course that is super frustrating, but as a mel fan it's just sad to see that the person she felt safe enough to seek comfort in is just so closed off. but not only that, it's obvious they're parting ways and it's very obvious this is coming from his side and i think that is also why she so wilingly accepts it. she doesn't fight much back throughout their whole fight earlier either, she tries to explain herself, but doesnt demand that room for herself even though in this relationship she should be able to take just as much room for herself and her feelings as he does, but she doesn't. she just lets it happen and i understand it bc you have this man you trust and probably love and his first reaction to you is hostile when hostile has never been a response to her. he made a complete u-turn and of course that's off putting, maybe even scary, of course it shuts her down, makes someone who's so good with words and fighting just try to cause as little damage as possible because that is how she's grown up, isn't it?
and that is why i am sad about this. she learned that love doesnt have to look like her mothers and that being vulnerable isnt a weakness and its his doing but here she is met by this kind of hostility she only knows from noxus and it hurts even more that it COMES FROM HIM and over something as SAVING HIS LIFE when its clearly was an act out of love and not investment bc if i'd would've been just that than she would've saved viktor as well? but it wasnt about that. it was her subconscious making a decision and it was something her mother would describe as an act of weakness (theres a reason she gets renni to attack him bc she sees how fond mel of him is maybe even because shes been fond of a man herself once and she knows what itll do) and i think the worst part about it is that she doesnt ever get to truly articulate this or anything else and now that jayce is gone (dead? in a stone? who knows?) she won't get to ever probably. she won't get to say what she thinks and explain herself truly and she won't have anyone to confide in, to be comforted by or comfort. elora is dead, kino wasn't real and the real one is actually dead too, jayce is well whatever he is, and her mother died in her arms. yes, mel is a mage and that is fucking awesome and i was so happy to see her go off and get so many spotlights in battle, but shes also so fucking tragic actually. because here she is with a fuck ton of weight on her shoulders, the noxian army looking up to her, the whole name, not knowing who her father is or what any of her powers mean, the whole black rose thing, everything unresolved between her and jayce, the death of the people she loves, and shes all alone with it. shes all alone with it and she gets no one. man im just fucking sad that this woman got a glimpse of what it could be like to be loved and have someone to "come home to" just for her to have literally no one left like why do you hate black women so much why cant they get a fucking good ending and why cant they be fucking loved even when things get hard
also im lowkey mad that jayce got to find comfort in her lap so many times and not once did she get that in return, not even a squeeze of her shoulder, but dont let me get started on that....
#mel medarda#jayce talis#meljay#onlymeljay#goldenforge#arcane#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#kds.txt#im sorry this is a lot but i have so many thoughts#a lot of them hurt me#but i think this one just kills me the most#i wanted her to have something she didnt have before#it was so nice to see her being treated this well#only for it to end like that#and so cold too
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baby fever // alexia putellas
a/n : maybe it’s because i’m ovulating, but i feel like im having withdrawals from my child (i don’t have a child)
warnings : none!!
“Alexia,” you said, flopping onto the couch dramatically, your phone clutched in one hand. “Look at this baby. Look. Isn’t this proof we should have one?”
She glanced up from her iPad, one brow raised. “That’s the fifth baby you’ve shown me today.”
“Because they’re soooo cute! And we could have one!” You shoved the phone under her nose, showing her a TikTok of a giggling infant in a tiny onesie. “Imagine our baby. They’d have your eyes, my—”
Alexia cut you off with an amused smirk. “We’ve talked about this, cariño.”
“No, you’ve talked about logistics,” you shot back, sitting cross-legged beside her. “I’ve talked about how I want a baby, like, yesterday.”
She sighed, setting the iPad down. “I’m not saying no. I’m saying it’s a big decision. And with everything we have going on—your work, my schedule—it’s not the right time.”
“Then I’ll carry!” you declared, your voice rising with excitement. “You can keep playing, and I’ll do all the hard parts. It’s perfect!”
Alexia blinked at you, her eyes narrowing slightly. “You’ve… really thought about this, haven’t you?”
“For months,” you said earnestly, grabbing her hand. “I don’t care about logistics or timing. I just know I want to do this with you.”
Her gaze softened, but there was still hesitation. “I’m not against it, amor. I just want to make sure we’re ready. Both of us.”
You groaned, flopping backward into her lap. “If you won’t listen to me, I’ll get backup.”
Alexia frowned. “What does that mean?”

————————
It meant enlisting Mapi and Ingrid.
“Finally!” Mapi said when you brought up your idea at training. She threw her hands in the air dramatically. “I’ve been telling Alexia for years she needs to let loose a little. Having a baby is perfect.”
“Right?” you said, clutching Mapi’s arm. “Imagine her as a mamá. So nurturing, so responsible—”
“And terrifying,” Mapi added, smirking. “Disciplining kids with that captain energy? Iconic.”
Ingrid chimed in from beside her. “Honestly, we’re on board. Do it, and we’ll be the godparents.”
“You’d have to fight Mariona for it,” you teased.
Mapi scoffed, draping an arm over Ingrid’s shoulder. “Please. I’m already the cool tía. It’s a done deal.”
Ingrid smiled softly, giving you a nudge. “Besides, we think you’re for perfect carrying the baby. You’re already glowing just talking about it.”
“You get it,” you said dramatically, pointing at Ingrid like she’d solved world hunger. “Why can’t Alexia see it?”
“Oh, she does,” Mapi said knowingly. “She’s just pretending to be logical about it. She’ll come around. Trust me.”
—————————
The breakthrough came at a team barbecue, thanks to Ingrid and Mapi’s nephew, little Liam, who’d stolen your heart the moment you met him.
“You’re so perfect,” you cooed, holding him close as he gurgled in your arms. “The cutest baby ever.”
Across the yard, Alexia watched you from a distance. Mapi elbowed her lightly, smirking. “You’re staring, capi. You look like you’re about to cry.”
“I’m not crying,” Alexia muttered, though her gaze softened as she watched you bounce Liam gently.
“You’re thinking about it, though,” Ingrid said, stepping up beside them.
Alexia sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I just—”
“You’re overthinking,” Mapi interrupted. “Classic Alexia. Look, you’re already a leader. A protector. It’s who you are. Being a mom? You’d be incredible. And (Y/N)? She’s ready. You can see it in her face.”
Alexia didn’t answer, but her thoughtful expression spoke volumes.
Later, as you cradled Liam, Alexia finally approached.
“Look at him,” you said, smiling as Liam giggled and reached for her. “He’s perfect. And soon, he’ll have a little friend. Isn’t that right, Ale?”
Alexia raised a brow. “What?”
“Our baby!” you explained, beaming. “He’s gonna have a friend, and they’ll grow up together, and it’ll be so cute.”
Alexia reached out hesitantly, letting Liam grab her finger. She froze, visibly melting at the tiny hand gripping hers. Mapi and Ingrid exchanged smug looks from across the yard.
Alexia sighed, her voice quiet. “You’re really not letting this go, are you?”
“Not a chance,” you said, grinning. “Come on, Ale. Let’s do it. I’ll carry, you’ll be the hot football mum, and Mapi and Ingrid are already fighting to be the godparents.”
“We’re winning,” Mapi called from nearby, raising a beer.
Alexia laughed softly, shaking her head. “Fine.”
Your eyes widened. “Wait. Fine?”
“Yes,” she said, smiling at your stunned expression. “But we’re doing this properly. No rushing.”
“Whatever you say, mamá,” you teased, setting Liam in his stroller before throwing your arms around her. “Let’s go make a baby!”
“That’s… not how it works,” she said, pulling back slightly.
“Oh, right,” you said, blushing. “I knew that.”
Her laughter was warm as she leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “I can’t wait to see you glowing, amor. And for the record… Mapi and Ingrid are not automatically the godparents.”
“We’ll see about that!” Mapi shouted, earning another laugh from both of you.
As Alexia’s hand rested gently on your stomach, you knew everything was about to change. But for the first time, it felt like a change you were both ready for.
#alexia x reader#alexia putellas one shot#alexia putellas fanfic#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#alexia putellas#alexia putellas fic#i want a baby so bad you don’t understand
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am I the only person waiting until I actually have my hard copies in hand before reading the short stories? I've been avoiding social media all day because I'm scared of getting spoiled...
#i just want the excitement of having the books in hand before I read them!! is that so much to ask!!#I refuse to even log on to twitter rn because I know for a fact there are untagged spoilers flying around like crazy on there#idk maybe im weird for this but i just really want the pleasure of reading the physical copies first. to go in completely fresh#so i can enjoy them more fully#i caught a tiny glimpse of a spoiler yesterday (I scrolled before I could see too much) but I was so upset about it regardless#like!! idk man maybe this makes me old as fuck but i miss the days where you didn't have to worry about spoilers so much!!#i've felt so paranoid about it all weekend lmao can you tell#aftg#crow rambles
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feelin kinda mesmerized
#pixell.art#mesmerizer#hatsune miku#miku#vocaloid#mesmerizer vocaloid#art#fanart#vocaloid fanart#miku fanart#illustration#i really like how this turned out :3#i think the colors look exactly how i wanted them to and im very excited about it :D#anyway ive been listening to mesmerizer a lot can u tell#also sorry for not including you queen teto but i had to draw insanegirl miku
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did something
#zero escape#zero time dilemma#ztd#discovered i can now do this with any flag now. too much power#carlos number 1 transgender fan#he reminds me a lot of that one post about like. cis guy who is really excited to tell you his pronouns are he/him#not saying he 100 is cis im just saying. hes like that#trevor.txt
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Monster Carnival promotional art
#im REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS !!! can you tell#tamagotchi#tamagotchi uni#devilgotchi#monster carnival
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my moot comes into my askbox talking about transformers and i stare at it in awe. how did you know i like transformers . . . /silly
#burnt out matches - 🔥#i have a good passive interest in transformers#i wouldnt say im part of the fandom or anything im not That big into it but i do enjoy it!#i do love beast wars;; and the dinobots#and i love the figures#i do love me robots i just dont care about cars usually LOL#but bumblebee. i love that guy#my moms fav is wheeljack#if were counting beast wars i also like cheetor dinobot and rattrap#granted its been a long time my favs may have changed#but thats who i remember distinctly#OH WAIIT WHO WAS THE GUY FROM ONE WHO TURNED INTO THAT COOL CAT AGAN WAIT BRB#alpha trion is also cool as shit#(he turns into a cat and i was so excited)#(can you tell i really really like animals LOL)#wait is that last part spoilers. uh?#transformers one spoilers#???
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in the language worldbuilding notes. writing "dialect continuum" "mutually intelligible" and things of such nature
#can you tell im a little too excited about my linguistics classes#you either die a leigh bardugo or you watch yourself become a j.r.r. tolkien#no shade to leigh bardugos languages its clearly not the most important part of her worldbuilding#and i also never really just took an existing language and shifted it slightly to the left. i just borrow some phonology (badly)#but yk what i mean. hopefully#*sheds a tear* i came so far since just trying to mimic latin#writing#linguistics
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When you backread through a fun conversation you had with someone for hours an angel gets its wings
#I was talking to my brother about Norman doors and I had fun in my UX class and he was telling me about demon cores and the trolley problem#in his class. AND I remembered to take my meds today so I can feel every cell in my body. i can feel the neurons rubbing together#and yesterday I infodumped about the specialists bullseye chart to crow and how it ties with witch hat atelier#WHICH I MANAGED TOGET THEM TK READ IM SO HAPPY. I MAKE SQUEALING GUINEA PIG NOISES EVERY TIME THEY TELL ME WHAT THEYVE READ SO FAR. AHH#i might not even be scratching the surface with witch hat there are so many themes i could not possibly fathom or go over my heasd#and thats what makes it so exciting there are so many spaces in between that you can fill with your thoughts and i. i#waves my hands around manically#for anyone interested in my insane ramblings. the bullseye chart is from are we all scientific experts now by harry collins#in my own words its basically saying everything we know about anything is a game of broken telephone#and it discusses how information gets lost in translation between experts and laymen including things that arent in control#one of the main points was how things that happen between experts are complicated including debates and findings#that you can only really understand thru research and experience in that field and cant be smoothly shared without it being reworded#and risking some of those key points. or even concepts that are hard to understand that cant be shared at all#like if you tried to tell me about how DNA works using words scientists are familiar with but i am NOT- i risk missing concepts that i need#to understand to know how it works on the level you understand. or i risk having it reworded and understanding it but not on that level#AND IT DOES TIE TO WITCH HAT THE WITCH AND NORMAL FOLK COMMUNITIES I PROMISE. ITS SO INTERESTING#anyway i spent hours reading back thru that conversation and i might as well admit it goes for almost every fun conversation i have#and it might be the 20mg of adderall in my body but i am in such a state of peace and love i have to verbalize it. ahh#yapping
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as someone who isnt super excited for sotm for certain reasons I am really glad that like. it's clear that since ruin theyve been setting up for carnival and sotm IS carnival. so now that carnival is finally coming out, afterwards theyll be moving on to other plotlines since the main villain stuff is sorted out
I'm just rlly happy to finally see a clear direction for how the story is gonna be playing out with like "okay these games were leading up to this so after this will be open possibilites" instead of like. absolutely no info about each upcoming game and being left guessing before it releases and just having to wait and see what's in it and if anything you're looking forward to will be in it
it feels like they have a plan and a solid direction for what they're trying to do and after carnival releases thatll be all that buildup coming to fruition. & we already know from the Scott interview that theres another release 'beyond sotm' that's 'super exciting' so maybe thatll be focusing on another big currently untouched (which is basically all of them) plotline, or even the big campaign game that dawko has been calling security breach 2
#even if i dislike how theyve been handling this whole mimic cassies dad factory mapbot bonnie bully stuff#the past like 2 releases 3 after sotm#after watching johns theory video it really does feel like stuff was more purposeful with thought put into it when u plug in cassies dad#even if the plot of him being behind mxes and trapping mimic is pushing other more important characters aside#its probably what happened and accepting that makes the story at least seem more thought out#it did make me feel better about it bc like. it at least feels like theyre cooking#like what theyre working on DOES have a direction and a plan and it isnt just random stuff like how it felt when hw2 came out#i might still think that the stuff theyve been doing the past few releases is boring af and uninteresting#compared to earlier concepts like focusing on vanny and the possession aspects and sentient glamrocks#(we could see more of it with freddy if theyd let him come back ever)#but like. at least it has thought put into it and feels like theyre actually trying to set shit up for something#like sotm is an ORIGIN#the tagline was 'sometimes you have to understand the past to see the future'#at the end of the day sotm is a setup for a campaign thatll take place in present day anf#even if its taking ten thousand years to get there im excited for it#aka its taken a long time to tell this story setup of cassies dad and mimic and shit and it might be boring for some people#(me)#but at the end of the day its meant to be setup explaining the past of why mimic exists (even if that's already in tbe books)#so after we 'understand' it we can get back to present day#and focus on its current victims vanessa gregory cassie etc#cassies dad is 100% dead if hw2s protag is him so he woukdnt be relevant anymore. just another character thing to serve cassie#im just saying like after sotm its wide open for getting back to the plot#and i think its actually right to say that bc like all of this has been setup. if hw2 protag is cassies dad its a prequel to ruin#so rn ruin is the most recent game in the timeline. meaning the next game that takes place in current tjme will focus on the current mains#Gregory cassie vanessa#sorry for fnaf plot posting again ive been thinking about it a lot the past few days#thought id balance some negative ive posted with a positive since im feeling better about it myself :)#one day we're gonna be so back and its gonna be great#its just gonna be a long annoying wait lmao#thoughts
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i hope you guys don't mind that my blog has basically become a full time til countdowns end machine 'w'
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bad and useless forever. incurable
#forget everything as soon as im meant to do it forget that i have assignments#“vee make a list at the beginning of the week” i DO and it doesnt WORK#im doing all the time management things but i open up my laptop and wow now ive been on tumblr dot com for three hours#AND I DONT KNOW HOW I GOT THERE#oh but yeah of course i have perfect recall of everything about the interest but cant remember the most basic school assignment#dont know when i need to leave my house to get to school on time and roll up to friends houses thirty minutes late#but i can tell you exactly what happens in hit indie game in stars and time!! and then not shut up for three hours!!#been trying to do this assignment for three hours and i havent even started yet this is great. fantastic#does everyone have this or am i just Like That#someone mentioned isat twenty minutes ago and i havent calmed down yet because i get too excited whenever someone talks about my thing#hate it here so bad#and i WANT to learn things i want to KNOW but also i cannot pay attention at all ever to them because ????#what happened in my lecture yesterday?? who knows!! i was focusing really hard on not forgetting to print my lab on the way out!!
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It's a little hard having friends who don't understand this kind of thing
#friday night funkin#random thoughts#pico newgrounds#doodle#pico fnf#pico is my whole brain rn#honestly he always is#not a day goes by that i dont think about him /srs#but my friends are too normal and sane so i cant just tell them that#sometimes ill get way too excited to talk about fnf or Pico's school/gang so ill go off on insane little rambles#just be warned that if you ask me things about a topic that im REALLY interested in#i will gush about it as long as i can#i am sorry but only slightly#honestly this also goes for darnell#hes always in my head#up there hanging out with pico all day every day
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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble
I will not be brief, all under the cut
To clear some things right off the bat:
No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.
Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality
The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.
This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.
Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:
Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.
All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.
Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).
And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.
At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.
I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.
Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.
This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.
It shifts something between them.
From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.
As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.
Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.
Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.
I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.
I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.
I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.
As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.
I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.
Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great
#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one#i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking#and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped#i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format#anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head#idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope#im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT#ieytd#john juniper#reginald crane#junicrane#starstruck#i expect you to die#<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that#the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH#also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two#make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL#GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga#thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry
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so interestingly enough, some ppl have been pointing out that maybe miles42 is slightly older than 1610 miles? and i was like "yeah maybe" but looking at miles42's face more and more lately i'm... i'm starting to see it? :o
like if you just compare the jawlines and cheeks, it actually looks like 42 lost some more of the baby fat 1610 still has
and even without the Dramatic Ink Lines, 42 still looks like he's older than 1610 by at least a little! he has slightly more defined cheekbones imo
its kinda hard to tell with limited camera angles and weird lighting tho. there's also the possibility that bc 42 lives in a household that's clearly struggling financially, one could argue he just happens to be not as well fed as 1610
not only that but the different murals they have of aaron in 1610 and jeff in 42 are also completely different. i've heard ppl pointing out that jeff's mural looked more worn out but actually.... the one thing that strikes me is how simplistic jeff's mural is.
almost as if someone younger than 1610 made it.... someone who lost their father at a younger age and started growing out their hair to braid it around that same time. someone who developed an effective routine with their uncle also around that time, and who's had it down pat by the time 1610 appeared in their universe...
but what do yall think?
#miles g morales#spiderverse#miles morales#its kinda hard to tell but i can see it!#plus 42's hair is def longer than 1610's and you could argue that he started his hair growth earlier than 1610#but idk... braids like that dont happen overnight#and i also subscribe to the theory that 42's dad died when he was much younger as well#bc he and aaron have a much more defined routine and dynamic#than 1 year would ever allow#42 being older than 1610 just might really be a possibility!!!!! 👁#and them not even sharing the same voice actor too?#42's VA sounds slightly older than 1610's too#i just went back and replayed the ending in atsv and really listened to their voices this time#and 42's voice sounds slightly deeper than 1610 even when he was out of the mask and being conversational#you can def hear it in his “why would i do that?” line#omfg idk why im so excited about this possibility LOL#42 big brother to 1610 maybe???? 🥺🥺🥺#@ spiderverse writers PLEASE 🙏🏼
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watched the ml movie
that sure was smth that happened on my screen for real uhuh
#i feel like i'm in a catatonic state rn#more thoughts below‚ no spoilers tho! just thoughts on the movie as a whole#uh#it was not great SJHDHFJG but what where we really expecting huh#overall maybe like 4/10 pushing a 3.5 i'm def gonna have to watch it with better subs visual and audio quality later#excited for the eng dub LMAO#overall there were like 2 or 3 scenes i really liked but MAN that ending was not it#gonna be thinking about it for a while tho#NOT AS BAD AS THE SHANGHAI SPECIAL? CAN I SAY THAT? IDK... IM NOT AS. ENRAGED. MAYBE CAUSE IT'S AN AU#def things going on and happening that i just ???? who did this#extremely incoherent rn if you can't tell#insane . thing. yeah wow ie#tizzy talks#miraculous ladybug#miraculous ladybug awakening#ladybug and cat noir the movie#christ why did they rename this film like 200 times#ml awakening#mlb awakening#i don't even remember which fucking tag i use for it
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