#im 90% sure its a coincidence the majority of the time
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shaaaaaaar ¡ 2 years ago
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hi it is 1 am and i am here to complain
i’m really fucking tired of people treating me like i’m soft or fragile or innocent/naive, that kinda stuff. it’s been a thing for most of my life no matter how much i try to prove its not really true, and its so frustrating. because i’m easily startled and i have anxiety, i’m some fragile boy meant to be protected and whose too soft for stuff.
most people don’t actually mean any harm with it. the concern is good willed and comes from a place of kindness, but ends up feeling condescending. i’ll be shielded from anything mildly scary and i won’t be told specifically why but it’s pretty easy to deduce that it’s because the tone is horror or it’s mildly violent or whatever. the sensitivity is appreciated, but it often is either over exaggerating things i’ve said i don’t like (for example i don’t particularly like gore but that’ll be overblown to like. someone avoiding telling me about shit like yandere sim. because people die. exclusively me.) or shit i’m fine with but there’s a darker tone so “he wouldn’t like it”. a lot of the time it doesn’t feel like there’s consideration for me specifically and instead an assumption of me not liking darker-toned stuff.
a lot of the time people treating me softly comes off as patronizing. something that really sticks out to me is i was asked recently to hold onto something while a person left for a moment and got told that the thing i was told to hold was there to protect ME. the legal adult. an inanimate object. another one is i’ll be told for HYPOTHETICALS i’m not allowed to have sharp objects because “i don’t trust you to not accidentally cut yourself”. i’ll be told i can have blunt objects, but nothing sharp. i’m always characterized by being weak-willed or the anxious one and… it gets very tiring. especially when none of this treatment is given to anyone else, only me. it gets noticeable.
another part of it is i tend to be less harsh on people. i try not to be too judgemental and harsh on people, maybe to a fault (i’ve got more shit to work on than that). so when i run into assholes, i’m treated like the innocent “too sweet for this world” guy because im… not a dickwad to people? i had a friend group once who all became friends bc they made a groupchat to complain about basically an entire community of people. i had nothing to add with complaints (even if i did wanna rant to the extent they did, i barely knew the people they talked about), i was just willing to listen and found it morbidly interesting. hindsight 20/20 i should’ve figured these guys were assholes (and christ they were assholes) but that isn’t the important part. in that friend group i was ALWAYS treated like the little innocent bean and if i knew something mildly fucked up it was a shocker. which got exhausting.
at the end of the day its because i have anxiety problems. that’s the smoking gun. anxiety has always been a part of my life and mine is considerably worse than a lot of people’s nervousness. with my friends i’m the guy who has “more anxiety problems” and i don’t like being boiled down to that sure but i agree that i have a lot. but frankly, being treated like i’m weak actually makes me feel more anxious. because it leaves me feeling pathetic and humiliated. being treated like i need to be protected only serves to make me feel either defenseless or disrespected. i’m well aware that i’m not a weak person. i’ve been aware of this for a long time.
yes, i am a more sensitive person. sometimes i’m pretty fragile. i get nervous very easily and treating me more gently isn’t exactly bad because the gentility is mindfulness of my sensitivity. there’s a line, though. because at some point it stops being sensitive and becomes being patronizing. it stops being mindful of my anxiety and becomes making me all about my anxiety. cradling someone with anxiety, or at least cradling me, isn’t the solution to anything. it makes things worse and only serves to solidify the notion that i’m weak. to be blunt, being sensitive, being anxious, hell, being fragile, doesn’t mean being weak. it doesn’t mean i need to be protected and my world needs to be baby-proofed. i mean hell, i spend a lot of my time trying to push myself outside of my comfort zone because what’s the point of baby-proofing? nothing will change.
ironically i have no clue how to go about actually telling people this (despite the fact i’ve had the intention to find some opportunity for months now) and somehow i’ve ended up on tumblr at 1 am rambling about it. which isn’t solving anything. i really do need to go about that because it’s important
ok it’s 2 am now so i’m leaving bye
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snkpolls ¡ 4 years ago
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SnK Episode 65 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)
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The poll closed with 98 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!
Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.
Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.
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RATE THE EPISODE 94 Responses
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Although a bit muted compared to last week, the response to this episode was still overwhelmingly positive, with 96.8% of people giving it a rating of 3 and higher. MAPPA’s on a roll!
Amazing!!!!
i just wanna see more!! 20 minutes is not enough. its too good
Awesome episode! Great pacing and the cgi was not too noticeable.
WAAAAYYYYY TOO HYPE
WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 93 Responses
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Mikasa and Levi took the spotlight this week! 30.1% of viewers felt most hyped up by Mikasa’s “explosive” reintroduction to the anime, while 22.6% were stoked to see Levi take on Porco to save Eren. 18.3% were most hyped by the Survey Corps taking on the Jaw Titan and the subsequent cliffhanger.
THE CGI CONTINUES TO BE A POINT OF CONTENTION. BE HONEST, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE EXECUTION OF CGI SO FAR THIS SEASON? 93 Responses
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Just under 50% of responses seemed to indicate that they thought MAPPA was doing very well with the CGI utilized. A little over 15% stated that although it was not their favorite, they understood that it could be a lot worse. Other responses (in order) were being neutral about the CGI, not liking it, but understanding the need for its usage and folks who adamantly rejected 3D animation. 
I actually prefer CGI titans because of the way their movements looks, it looks almost slower, to me it fits very well with how the big titans are. Im not an anime guy at all so ive never seen cgi in other anime but i really like the way Mappa's CGI looks, it blends in very well. I dont like CGI people though, the shot with Jean throwing the marly soldier off the rooftop i didn't like very much.
I feel horrible saying this believe me... but I really vibed with the CGI up until this episode. I think maybe because it's the first time its been used on humans (OPM) rather then titans. I'm not massively put off though, I really apreciate the efforts this episode must have taken. TY Mappa
The episode is great no doubt, my only concern is the CG personally, as a 3D artist myself, I think I would prefer an all 2D medium like the battle at Stohess. Using 3D is fine as long as it blends seamlessly to the background, like kengan ashura, it's not perfect but bearable.
I honestly think that 2D will always 100% be better than cgi but I can understand why mappa is using cgi
It was fine in the other episodes, but in this episode, it looked overused and bit bad
HOW WAS EREN’S ROOFTOP SWAN DIVE? 94 Responses
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When it came down to Eren’s swan rooftop dive (“Like a fallennn angel…”), the majority seemed to be impressed, with 68% giving it a score of 4 or higher. It was not a monolithic opinion however and many seemed also rated it poorly. Do better, Eren!
WHICH RETURNING CHARACTER’S ENTRANCE WAS YOUR FAVORITE IN THIS EPISODE? 94 Responses
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The Survey Corps has returned! Of these reappearances, viewers most enjoyed Mikasa’s (48.9%), Levi’s (31.9%) and Sasha’s (14.9%) the most. Jean and Connie got a little less love, though we’re sure people were still happy to see them!
WHICH RETURNING CHARACTERS HAS THE BEST GLOW UP? 93 Responses
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It would appear that the slight plurality sees Mikasa as having the best glow up out of the cast, followed by (in order) Eren, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Floch and Levi. The Old Captain doesn’t like to change up his style, we suppose. 
Eren didn't have a glow up- he had a glow down.
Mikasa can stomp on me please god
OF ALL THE ORIGINAL CAST, WE STILL HAVE NOT SEEM ARMIN, HANGE OR HISTORIA YET. WHICH OF THE THREE ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING NEXT? 93 Responses
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In relation to the previous question, we still haven’t seen 3 major members of the cast. Armin, Hange and Historia. When we asked which of the three you were most looking forward to seeing next, the slight majority (52.7%) expressed their excitement for seeing Armin again, followed by 11.8% wanting to see Hange most. Some others have also expressed their desire to see Historia again. 17.2% simply could not choose and 10.8% stated that they simply didn’t care about the 3 characters.
WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE WARHAMMER TITAN? 90 Responses
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The Warhammer received an overwhelmingly positive response, with the majority expressing much excitement over both its design and powers. 15.6% noted that the design was a bit too creepy for their liking, but the powers were awesome. And on the flip side, 10% noted the Titan’s design was rather cool, in contrast to its rather OP ability. A select few did not enjoy either aspect. 
Would probably enjoy it more if it belonged to someone that likely is not going to be just cannon fodder
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE NEW UNIFORMS? 92 Responses
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The Survey Corps returned sporting new uniforms to much fanfare. 30.4% of respondents really enjoy the upgrade, finding the suits to be badass. 23.9% couldn’t find the words and just settled for pure hype. 20.7% enjoy the new uniforms just as much as they enjoy the classic uniforms. 12% felt it was a much needed upgrade, though 10.9% don’t care at all about the uniform change.
I like both but I prefer the old design
EREN SAYS TO MIKASA, “YOU GUYS ACTUALLY CAME.” THIS IS FOLLOWED UP BY MIKASA ASKING EREN TO COME HOME. DOES THIS INSINUATE THAT EREN WENT TO THE MAINLAND ON HIS OWN? 90 Responses
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The circumstances of the Survey Corps’ presence on the mainland continues to be a mystery. When we asked about whether Eren was there alone or not a few episodes ago, the majority believed that he was either there alongside the Survey Corps or was sent there by them. Overall, the feelings seem to be the same (that Eren came alongside the Survey Corps). 45.6% think that Mikasa’s words may have some other meaning and that things are way too planned out to be coincidence. 18.9% believe that Eren did go rogue, while 15.6% think that Eren didn’t necessarily go rogue, but wasn’t working with them for a while either. The remaining 20% have already been spoiled on this particular plot point.
THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO SEEMS TO PARALLEL THE BREACH OF SHIGANSHINA. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS EVENT IN COMPARISON? 92 Responses
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Now that both sides of the conflict have had their rude awakening, we asked how you guys felt about the two events comparatively. 33.7% feel that both attacks were tragic, but still feel more empathy toward the Eldians on Paradis than they do toward those who were raised on Marley. At a tie, 22.8% of respondents felt that the victims of the Liberio attack got what was coming with them, while another 22.8% felt about the same amount of sympathy for the victims on both sides. 10.9% feel this is way worse than what happened in Shiganshina and feel more sympathy for the victims in Liberio. 
I am yet to know the goals behind this attack.
Marley did this countless times so I don’t feel bad for them. I kind of feel for eldians tho bc they are brainwashed from a young age to give up their lives for a country who doesn’t give a shit about them. 
Honestly they deserve what Eren is doing to them. Excluding Falco, no one outside of Paradis has earned my sympathy, even with the additional context.
SADLY, UDO AND ZOFIA DID NOT SURVIVE THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THEIR DEATHS? 91 Responses
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Udo and Zofia have joined the ranks of characters who tagged along with the main cast for a while only to be killed off for character development. 25.3% anticipated at least one of them to die, but not both. Another tie on this poll, 24.2% stated that they were disappointed and was hoping to see more of them, while another 24.2% didn’t care about them at all. 14.3% are happy to ditch the focus on them in favor of more familiar characters, and 8.8% feel pure and utter devastation. 
Good riddance Warrior scum
Sad but allows for Gabi’s development 
sad but okay. death is common in this anime.
EREN AND FLOCH’S LAST INTERACTION IN S3 WAS A VERY TENSE ARGUMENT. NOW IT SEEMS FLOCH IS DEDICATED TO EREN’S CALL TO ACTION, SHIFTING THE “NECESSARY DEVIL” STATUS FROM ERWIN ONTO HIM. WHAT DO YOU THINK THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE NOW? 91 Responses
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Eren and Floch were anything but BFF’s at the closing of season 3. Now Floch seems to be wholly devoted to Eren’s cause… What changed? 28.6% believe that nothing has actually changed in terms of their relationship, but that Floch simply just latched onto Eren’s fight in need of a new devil. 23.1% feel that they still aren’t friends, but are in more comfortable “ally” territory. 15.4% aren’t sure what to make of it. Smaller handfuls feel that they either grew to become friends and/or co-conspired to attack Liberio together. 22% are already spoiled on the details. 
Floch is easily persuaded...and annoying 🤷‍♀️
WE SEE GABI GRAB THE GUARD’S FUN AFTER WITNESSING SASHA KILL HIM. WHAT DO YOU THINK MIGHT HAPPEN? 90 Responses
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Gabi moves headstrong into the fight, wanting to play her part in defending her hometown. A large chunk of anime only viewers have been spoiled on future developments for her character. But for those still in the dark - 24.4% feel that she will successfully kill a member of the Survey Corps. 21.1% aren’t sure what to expect, while 10% think she will only manage to injure someone in the Survey Corps. Smaller amounts feel she won’t be successful in any capacity or may even die herself.
ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?
Epic episode, survey corps come back, OH YEAH, but I wished they didn’t use CGI on humans and bettered the CGI on Titans.
It really makes me sad how Eren is continuing the cycle of revenge by killing innocent Marleyan civilians, but it makes sense for his character. 
Real cool ep but w h e r e a r m i n
It sucks that I like the warriors and the Corp bc both of them are victims in different way so seeing them have to go head to head sucks. They all deserve better
SO great I loved it! However, I missed Reiner, Falco, and Zeke. I hope they're okay :-) RIP Udo and Zofia :-(
I think I need more dialogue between the old crew to really settle back in with them. I kinda believe that Mappa's still trying to 'click', they obviously can't just get it right immediately. Other then that I loved the titan scenes, more than ODM scenes 😔
This was a great episode and I was literally vibrating in my seat from excitement! I think MAPPA is doing a great job with the animation and the music works really well with the action. Can’t wait for the rest of the season!
I miss wit studio
Willy seems to have his first daughter really early, he looks like 30 !
I’d say the episode as a whole is a solid 8-9/10, the cgi in some parts really ruins the moment for me
WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 88 Responses
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Thanks again to everyone who participated!
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hyperbolog ¡ 6 years ago
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2019 Oscar Predictions Pt. 3: Screenplays, Supporting Actress & Actor, Best Actress & Actor, Director and Picture
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Best Original Screenplay
This is a difficult category to predict, as four of the five films are contenders in several key categories and three of those films are potential Best Picture winners. Green Book has won several key precursor awards, but it also is the recipient of extreme award-season backlash. Another knock against Green Book is that the script is as generic as a script can be, often telegraphing it’s major plot points and character arcs pages before they occur. The Favourite is a very funny and acerbic script, however the strangeness of the film may alienate the type of voters that gravitate towards backwards Boomer nostalgia like Green Book. My personal favourite script of the year is Schrader’s First Reformed, and I would love to see it rewarded, but that would be a true upset in a category that rarely provides surprises. The WGA provided no clues this year, as The Favourite did not meet their draconian nomination requirements and the winner, Eighth Grade, was not nominated for an Oscar. I’m taking The Favourite, but would not be shocked if Green Book ended up winning.
Will Win: The Favourite Should Win: First Reformed Could Win: Green Book Should Have Been Nominated: Sorry To Bother You
Adapted Screenplay
The Adapted Screenplay category can sometimes be a real shitshow. This year has avoided awarding middling fare by nominating five legitimately good to great films. This means there will be no Argo or Imitation Game travesties. BlacKkKlansman is the Academy’s best chance to award Spike Lee directly, as the film is unlikely to upset Roma for Best Director or Picture. The Academy loves it when the Coens go country, with previous nods for their adaptations of No Country and True Grit and while Buster Scruggs features many of the Brothers virtuoso monologues, it’s hard to imagine it being a serious contender. A Star is Born is the weakest of the bunch, and probably should have been overlooked in favour of Granik’s Leave No Trace. Can You Ever Forgive Me? is a potential spoiler due to its WGA win, however that is a notoriously fickle guild. Lee’s other competition is Jenkin’s Beale Street which, as good as it is, features some real clumsy translations of Baldwin’s prose. I’m hoping Lee is finally awarded here after three decades of iconoclastic, incendiary and often brilliant filmmaking.
Will Win: BlacKkKlansman Should Win: BlacKkKlansman Could Win: Can You Ever Forgive Me? Should Have Been Nominated: Leave No Trace
Best Supporting Actor
This has been in Ali’s award to win all award season. In a fraught campaign for Green Book, Ali has been able to absorb and deflect all criticism. I’m not sure that even detractors of the film will vote against him, though he won this award just two years prior. Some are predicting that Sam Elliott will join the ranks of Palance and Coburn, who were both industry stalwarts that won Supporting Actor Oscars in their 70s. However, those septuagenarians faced a crowded field with no clear frontrunners. If the night goes Green Book’s way, this could be the second time in three years that Ali wins Best Supporting Actor for a film that wins Best Picture, which is a truly meaningless coincidence.
Will Win: Mahershala Ali, Green Book Should Win: Richard E. Grant, Can You Ever Forgive Me? Could Win: Sam Elliott, A Star is Born Should Have Been Nominated: Michael B. Jordan, Black Panther
Best Supporting Actress
Both supporting categories seem locked up, with King being the runaway favourite. The only time she lost was at the SAGs to Emily Blunt. However that is essentially meaningless as King wasn’t even nominated for a SAG and Blunt is not nominated for an Oscar. If long-time also-ran Amy Adams couldn’t pull out a win at SAGs with King absent, it’s unlikely that she will pull off an upset at the Oscars. Rachel Weisz should technically be up for Best Actress, swapping places with Colman in this category. Weisz’s performance in The Favourite is electric, but King is the beating heart of Jenkin’s Beale Street.
Will Win: Regina King, If Beale Street Could Talk Should Win: Rachel Weisz, The Favourite Could Win: Rachel Weisz, The Favourite Should Have Been Nominated: Margot Robbie, Mary Queen of Scots
Best Actor
What is happening? How is it possible that Malek’s karaoke performance is the frontrunner for Best Actor? Wait, that’s not fair. Karaoke singers actually perform the songs themselves. Malik is essentially doing the equivalent of a Lifetime Movie performance in the longest episode of Celebrity Lip Sync Battle. The only upside to Malek‘s Mercury winning Best Actor, is that it will end all arguments regarding “Worst Performance to Ever Win an Oscar.” You’re off the hook John Wayne and Sandra Bullock. Best Actor has gotten into a real rut this decade, only awarding two performances that were not based on real life historical figures. No other decade awarded less than five performances of original characters. It has become a category for the year’s Best Imitation, which would still place Malek far behind Bale’s Dick Cheney and Dafoe’s Van Gogh. As Ethan Hawke was inexplicably left off the ballot, my vote would be for Bradley Cooper, who gives a surprisingly sensitive and nuanced performance in A Star is Born. But honestly, I’d take Viggo’s caricature from Green Book over Malik.
Will Win: Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody Should Win: Bradley Cooper, A Star is Born Could Win: Christian Bale, Vice Should Have Been Nominated: Ethan Hawke, First Reformed
Best Actress
What was once the lone exciting race in the performance categories has now become a foregone conclusion, as Glenn Close is running away with Best Actress. Close, as always, gives a great performance, but make no mistake, this is a legacy win. The Wife is not a good film, in fact it is a patently ridiculous trifle. This year’s Oscar run-up closely resembles 2014, when Julianne Moore won for the mediocre Still Alice. The only major difference is that Moore had no real competition, while Close should be pacing fifth of five. Olivia Colman’s Queen Anne is a wonderful performance which manages to be both extremely funny and moving, as she infuses empathy into a character that could have easily been a punchline. Lady Gaga is terrific in A Star is Born as is McCarthy and Aparicio in their respective roles. However, it is Close’s year, as the Academy looks to honour a beloved seven-time nominee. When Close wins, it means that Amy Adams will now have more Oscar nominations without a win than any other living actor, placing her just two behind Peter O’Toole for most all time.
Will Win: Glenn Close, The Wife Should Win: Olivia Coleman, The Favourite Could Win: Olivia Coleman, The Favourite Should Have Been Nominated: Toni Colette, Hereditary & Joanna Klug, Cold War
Best Director
The days of Director and Picture lining up are becoming few and far between. It could be that voters are seeing these categories as intrinsically separate, with Director representing the vision and creativity of a film, while Picture being an award for Best Production, or it could be simply the result of the preferential ballot. There have been four splits this decade between Director and Picture, which is one off the mark for the most in a 10 year span with two ceremonies left to go. This year has a real “2015” vibe to it. That year, Inarritu’s The Revenant performed as the perfunctory favourite for Picture based on the strength of various Guild, Critics and Golden Globe wins, only to lose the Oscar to Spotlight. Inarritu’s Birdman had just won the year before, which may have played into that loss, but the feeling is that voters admired The Revenant, but didn’t particularly like it. Roma has that same admiration and that same cold response. Do audiences love Roma? Everybody seems to agree that the film is a gorgeous love-letter from Cuaron, and a personal achievement. However, much like The Revenant’s gorgeous natural light and impressive camerawork, Roma’s pristine artifice may distance viewers from actually engaging emotionally with the film. I expect voters to award Cuaron’s craft, but not his product. There have been some rumblings of a Spike Lee upset, which seems outrageous, but would be very welcome. Cuaron is already expected to take home Cinematography and Foreign Language, so it is possible that voters could choose to honour Lee’s BlacKkKlansman, which definitely carries an emotional immediacy that is lacking from Roma.
P.S How much better would this year’s Oscars be with only five Best Picture nominees that aligned with the films up for Best Director. Think about a year where the five films vying for Best Picture are Roma, BlacKkKlansman, Cold War, Vice and The Favourite. Nary a Green Book or Rhapsody in sight. We can dream, can’t we.
Will Win: Alfonso Cuaron, Roma Should Win: Spike Lee, BlacKkKlansman Could Win: Spike Lee, BlacKkKlansman Should Have Been Nominated: Paul Schrader, First Reformed
Best Picture
The expansion of Best Picture from 5 to a potential of 10, has definitely had an impact on the Oscars. This decade, Best Pictures have averaged a total of 3.5 total Oscar wins. That’s two less that last decade’s 5.5 average and far less than the 90s, where Best Pictures averaged 6.1 total Academy Awards. The last time a decade averaged so few total awards per Best Picture was the 1930s, which also nominated as many as 10 films a year. In the 2000s, the film to win Best Picture was the evening’s most awarded film nine times. That’s only happened four out of the last eight years. In fact, in two of those years, the film to win Best Picture tied with another film for most total Oscars. That means that the year’s Best Picture has been the lone most celebrated film only twice this decade. Whether this is a result of the expanded lineup, or a side-effect of our shifting cultural landscape, where streaming platforms, VOD and the general surfeit of films have fragmented consensus, the films that win Best Picture are changing. There’s nothing to suggest that trend will abate this year. All eight films nominated for Best Picture are predicted to win at least one Oscar. Roma is the favourite to take home top honours but is projected for just four total wins. However, it’s Best Picture frontrunner status is debatable. Many see Green Book as this year’s Spotlight, though not in terms of quality. It’s the kind of low stakes, ahistorical Boomer garbage that does very well at the Oscars. Black Panther is another potential spoiler, having both the cultural and box-office capital rarely seen in this category. Also, Panther won the SAG, which is a strong Guild win. BlacKkKlansman appears to be this year’s Get Out, as it’s the film that best captures the time in which we live and is certainly too good to win Best Picture. Further hampering BlacKkKlansman, is that it did not win a single Guild. Only Out of Africa has won Best Picture with no Guild support. The Favourite appears to be on no-one’s top pick, but preferential balloting may reward a film so generally well regarded. A Star is Born could also find itself on the top half of a lot of ballots. It seems that the only film that is totally out of the running is Vice. Then there’s Bohemian Rhapsody, which would surely be the worst film to ever win Best Picture. Not only is it essentially directorless, it’s a nearly unwatchable mess, operating more as a collection of montages than a proper film. It’s an abysmal, objectively terrible film that bares closer resemblance to a Hallmark Channel “Movie-of-the-Week” than an Oscar winner. How did this happen? I know that we all like Queen, but we still have eyes and ears, right? I’m taking Green Book, as I do not think that voters are ready to give top honours to a Netflix film, especially producers and directors who may view giving Best Picture to a streaming service as a case of “Too-Much Too-Soon.” Green Book has the air of competent mediocrity which so often goes hand-in-hand with Best Picture winners. That Moonlight win is looking to be more and more of an anomaly.
Will Win: Green Book Should Win: BlacKkKlansman Could Win: Roma Should Have Been Nominated: First Reformed
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weneverfreeze ¡ 8 years ago
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Sydney. My dear. I will love you forever if you write samnat for one of those au prompts you just reblogged (im feeling 1, 6, or 7 for them, but really any prompt is fine 😄😄)
Okay sorry this is late Mercedes! This didn’t get a reread, just so you know, and I started writing the ending at around 1 AM and it’s 4:30 (lolol it’s 4:47 now) in the morning right now, so yeah:
1.  I’m sleeping over at my friend’s flat from university after study group and just got woken up in the middle of the night by their roommate, who is sitting in the kitchen, listening very loudly to the dirty dancing soundtrack and crying. Like wtf, I didn’t even know they had a roommate and normally I would yell at you but damn you are cute. You really need to stop tho dude, its 4am, some people in this house want to sleep AU
6. We work out at the same gym and you are my declared rival because we have the same workout routine and you are always better than me and on my way to the locker room I passed you in the shower where you were singing the opening of hannah montana and I can still hear you and you switched to the lion king now and even though I hate you I think I am kind of in love with you AU
7. I’m hiding in the bathroom of a restaurant from a spectacularly awful tinder date and you are in a similar situation because a guy at the bar just won’t stop hitting on you and now we are planning an epic escape together even though we only met ten minutes ago AU
WC: 5747
There are two gyms on campus. Two gyms for nearly 40,000 people, so it stands to reason that you’d run into people very rarely. Two gyms, 40,000 people, seven days in a week, fourteen hours give or take each day when they’re open, four floors of exercise equipment and courts and weights and two pools per gym. This isn’t even factoring in her work schedule or classes, but somehow Natasha’s managed to run into this asshole every single time she goes to the gym. Out of both gyms and all the rooms and all the possible exercise routines. Every single time.
The first time she thought maybe it was just coincidence. It happens now and then of course, that someone comes in and has a similar routine to the one she’s perfected over the last six years. Last time it was Clint though, and that was first semester sophomore year, and that was only because Nat asked him. He’d complained the entire time about how hockey’s enough exercise for the both of them, and Nat I’m going to mess up my legs or my arms or my nose, okay, you remember how I got a concussion swimming. Clint came with maybe four times before deciding to do yoga by himself.
Since then Natasha had been alone in her workout routine. Thirty minutes on the bike, thirty doing weights, and thirty on the thigh machine downstairs on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Saturday’s for lazy laps in the pool when she isn’t making burritos at Chipotle. Her routine is simple and easy. In and out within 90 minutes.
But this asshole. Showing up all cocky and self-important. He’s been mirroring her pretty consistently the last month or so. At first it wasn’t that noticeable—he’s cute, maybe, in that sweaty sort of athletic way that she won’t pretend not to like, but she’s dated girls and guys like that before, so—just another body on the bikes a little down the row, or another person curling dumbbells, or another guy waiting for a weight machine.
Then it started being a thing. Nat had glanced over week 1.5 of this whatever-it-is at the same time he had, and they shared a nod and went back to biking. He seemed like an asshole even then. It was something, she figured, to do with how he wore cologne even when working out.
Then, week 2, it had been a very full Wednesday, and the only bikes were right next to each other. He was definitely looking at the display on her machine and she’d never tell Clint or Maria that that was the reason she was walking a little stiffly for three days afterward, because she definitely hadn’t been going a little faster than she should have been and checking his display as well.
Weeks 3 and 4 had been more of the same, except at week 3.5 she’d realized what exactly is so asshole-y about him: he doesn’t sweat, and he bikes further and can lift more than she can. (She’s better overall on the thigh machine, thank you, hockey.) Natasha would be over here straining to go up one last hill while he’d be pedalling easy as anything, scrolling through some article on his phone.
Natasha had been hoping when she walked in today that he wouldn’t be here, but no such luck, and he’d taken the machine she favors. She glances to her left; he catches her look, and raises his water bottle in an obnoxious salute. Inwardly she flips him off.
Only five minutes in. She readjusts her headphones. Five minutes in. She can do this.
The men’s and women’s locker rooms share a wall. Through numerous, painful post-workout showers, Natasha’s determined that unfortunately the wall must be dividing the shower sections of both locker rooms; someone’s been having a field day singing show tunes and pop music and rapping while she’s in the shower.
The variety, she thinks as hangs up her towel, is pretty impressive. Today the singer’s belting out Best of Both Worlds from Hannah Montana.
It’s not unpleasant today, which is surprising. The singer’s voice goes oddly well with the theme song.
The singer switches to Circle of Life. She joins in and they sing together until the water goes cold.
(It goes cold after six minutes.)
New Text Message
Clintyyy: Takeout?
Me: You’re buying
Clintyyy: Hey now, no
Clintyyy: It’s your turn
Me: Don’t make me bring up Budapest again
Me: You owe me
Clintyyy: ….fine
Me: Good
Clintyyy: Preference?
Me: Anything but tacos
Me: Chipotle has me sick of tacos
Me: You’ve never known true taco hatred until even just the smell makes you want to throw ingredients everywhere
Clintyyy: Please tell me you did not do that
Me: (read at 7:39)
Clintyyy: Tasha?
Me: (read at 7:43)
Clintyyy: We gotta pay rent still you’ve got a job right
Me: Of course I do
Clintyyy: Don’t do that to me
Clint’s got fried rice, lo mein, and crab rangoon waiting on TV trays in the living room when she shoulders through the doorway. Or, limps through; she’d done too much on the thigh machine again today, which she’s pretty sure Asshole Guy had noticed. Light from NCIS flickers over his face as he raises an eyebrow. A noodle is hanging out of his mouth.
“Don’t tell Steve,” she says. She plunks down next to him on the couch, pokes his thigh until he gives her more room.
He says, “That’d be embarrassing for you,” and she glares until he raises his hands in surrender. “I won’t, fine; just don’t kill me, okay?”
“Who am I gonna get to rent with me next year if I didn’t have you?” She opens the fried rice and quirks a smile and he bumps his shoulder against hers.
They’ve rented together for two years now after Natasha’s freshman year roommate gave her a photo album of her sleeping at the end of the first semester. She’d spent the majority of spring semester staying over at Clint’s room, which worked out nicely because Clint’s roommate Steve’s just about the nicest most stubborn guy she’s ever met, and he’d only asked them once if they were dating (they weren’t). Most other people have a look that says I don’t believe you when they say they’ve been friends as long as they’ve known each other, but Steve had just nodded and gone back to sketching his calculator.
“We should live with Steve next year,” she says, thinking; it’s October now, if they get a move on they should be able to get a nice place. She steals a bite of noodle from Clint’s container.
Clint pulls a face, but he holds the container closer to her. Nat offers the fried rice in return. “Nah, I’m good.”
She smiles. “To the rice or to Steve?”
He pretends to think about it, stroking an imaginary beard, and she leans into his side and waits. Onscreen Gibbs slaps Tony upside the head again.
“Both,” Clint says. She makes a face. “Kidding. Steve’s rooming with someone next year, they’ve really hit it off, so.” He tilts his head to the side like he’s deliberating and adds, “Or not kidding really, because that kid wheezes so much when he tries to sleep. Snores like you wouldn’t believe.”
“I was there, remember?” she says with a smile, checking the crab rangoon. “Do you want the last one or shall I?”
Clint waves it toward her and says, “What song today?”
She’s been keeping him updated on the gym since he refuses to go. He knows all about The Asshole and The Song Guy. He’s convinced that there’s a love story in the making between the three of them, but since she threatened him (half-jokingly) with a spatula, he’s been keeping that to himself.
“Circle of Life.”
Clint nods and shrugs appreciatively. “Good choice.”
She says, yawning, “Better than the week of Thrift Shop.”
“You love Thrift Shop.”
He starts playing with her hair and it’s so soothing she almost drifts off.
“I do,” she murmurs, yawning again—it feels really very nice—and curling closer. Clint unfolds the blanket along the top of the couch and pulls it over them. “That’s why it was so bad. He didn’t know all the words.”
Clint says something like “Neither do you” but she’s just about asleep now and doesn’t really hear him. Or at least, that’s what she’ll say if he mentions it in the morning.
New Text Message
1-347-867-5309: Hey Nat! Do you wanna study together Saturday?
Me: Who is this
1-347-867-5309: Steve
Me: Ohh right right
1-347-867-5309: You didn’t know it was me did you
Me: Of course I did
Me: I know everything
Steve: Sure
Steve: You’d think that
Steve: Since, y’know, we’re friends and all
Steve: You’d save my phone number
Me: Don’t be offended
Me: I’ve been friends with Clint for fifteen years and I only saved his number since coming to college
Steve: I guess that helps
Steve: Maybe
Steve: Not really. Anyway: study with me?
Me: Worried for the test?
Steve: A little
Me: Me too
Me: Where/what time?
Steve: My apartment? I’m off work at three, so four?
Me: Sounds good
Steve: See ya then
Asshole Guy isn’t there today. Today she’s got her machine again and the world is at peace once more.
To be fair, it’s Tuesday. She never knew for sure, but she strongly suspects Asshole Guy only works out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, like her. But this week Fury has her working the night shift on the line, so Friday’s workout’s cancelled.
She probably shouldn’t be in today. Her inner thigh is still sore. Steve would kill her if he knew she was straining it—he’s a history and art double major, but, since his dad’s a trainer, he knows a fair amount of things. Including the fact that pushing a hurt muscle is a terrible idea.
Natasha knows that too, though, and it’s starting to hurt more than it had, so she sighs and lets the weights down gently.
“You alright?”
She whips around, ready with a snappy retort for another dude bro trying to tell her how to do her workout. It dies in her throat. Two gyms, 40,000 people, seven days in a week, fourteen hours, an entirely different day, no less, and yet.
It doesn’t help that The Asshole has nice eyes this close. He clears his throat, and that’s when she realizes he’s wearing the khaki pants, blue shirt, and red backpack of a student trainer. He says, “It’s Tuesday. You don’t usually—I mean, this isn’t your max weight, and you usually lift longer than this.”
He’s been watching. Nat raises an eyebrow. “Observant.”
“Part of the job,” he says. His cologne is sharply out of place with all the sweat in the air.
“You work here.” She regrets it the moment she says it; his eyebrows shoot straight up, then settle again. Of course he works here. No one wears khakis to a gym.
Instead of answering he plucks at the hem of his shirt and moves on. “Are you okay? I have to ask when someone lets the weights down like that.”
“Didn’t realize they were that loud,” she says, to have something to say. “I’m fine. Little sore from yesterday.”
The Asshole sets his backpack down and kneels to sort through it, all the while asking about her hydration and whether or not she’s eaten and you know, you’ve gotta rest between these kinds of things, you can’t do the same exercises back to back and expect to be totally fine.
This rubs her wrong. “My work schedule’s different this week,” she snaps. “I’m not an idiot.”
“Sorry,” he says mildly. He hops back to his feet holding a blue crinkly something. Natasha glares up at him and he holds his hands up before saying, “I know you’re not an idiot, just needed to say that. Job description and all that.”
She’s got her arms folded, so when he tosses the crinkly something at her she’s completely unprepared. It bounces off her elbow before she catches it, somehow, on the rebound. It’s a Nutrigrain bar. She stares at him.
The Asshole rubs the back of his neck and says, “It’s blueberry, not too bad if you—I dunno, if you eat that sort of thing.”
“Thanks…?”
“Sam,” he says, starting to walk away.
She says “Natasha” and Sam smiles and walks out of the weight room.
There is a profound silence from the men’s locker room. Today the water stays warm for exactly eight minutes before threatening to crystalize on her skin.
When she’s dry, she squeezes her hair with the towel and dresses. The Nutrigrain wrapper’s in her pocket when Nat pulls on her jeans. She’s not sure, really, why she’s still holding onto it.
New Text Message
Steve: Hey were you working out today? At the Heli?
Me: Yeah, why?
Steve: No reason
Steve: (Steve sent an emoji)
Me: The halo’s not reassuring Rogers
Steve:
Early Wednesday morning she wakes up in Clint’s arms while Tangled plays for the third or fiftieth time. Squinting, she looks up to see that Clint’s awake and bedheaded as ever; she’s still not sure if he styles his hair like that intentionally or if, thanks to the innumerable naps he takes, that’s just the way his hair grows.
She pulls the blanket over her more and Clint starts. “Sorry,” he whispers, grabbing for the remote. He mutes the TV (Rapunzel and Flynn are just about to be trapped in the mine) and Nat closes her eyes again.
“S’okay,” she says sleepily. “How long’ve you been awake?”
“Somewhere around Flynn finding the tower.” He stretches carefully, rests his arm around her again. “You were saying something about Sam? In your sleep.”
“Mmm. No.”
“I think so. Fell asleep with my hearing aids in, so.”
“Your hair’s stupid” is all she says. He lightly pulls on one of her curls, and they drift off again.
Steve has to poke her six times to stay awake in lecture around noon. She’s lucky to have him there; Clint would’ve let her sleep and drawn mustaches on her with Sharpie. It’s especially important to be awake today because they’re reviewing for the exam, and she’s got a 93% right now and this test could solidify or jeopardize that A.
That doesn’t mean she’s not leaning on Steve right now. She’s lucky she’s on her left because she’s right handed, and even though he is as well he’s not the type to complain when he’s helping someone. Plus his right arm is ever-so-slightly more muscular than his left, so it’s somewhat more comfortable to lean against.
He’s really bulked up in the last two years; freshman year Nat used to be able to fit his wrist between her forefinger and thumb. Not so much now. He has a Russian pen pal according to Clint—kept in touch since they were five apparently—and they’ve been FaceTiming and working out together. She and Clint aren’t really sure what exercises they’ve been doing—or how you can work out with someone over FaceTime—but it’s working for Steve at least; they’ve doubled their efforts to get him on their hockey team.
Steve pokes her again as Professor Stark rambles on about medical experimentation during World War II.
“I’m awake,” she says. Their redheaded neighbor, Pepper, hushes them, and Nat sticks her tongue out at her. Quieter: “I’m awake.”
“I know,” Steve says, “you snore.”
“Hey!”
“Shh!”
Steve holds up a hand to stop either of them from saying anything. He whispers, “Did you meet Sam? At the Heli?”
Natasha stares at him. “How’d you know that?” Their prof changes the slide and she hurriedly copies down the information.
“He told me,” Steve says. “Ran into a redhead on the weights, said it wasn’t abnormal but for the fact that you don’t work out Tuesdays.”
“I don’t, it’s be—”
“Because of work, yeah.”
Nat worries her bottom lip. “You know him.”
“From high school,” Steve says. He nudges her and winks when she glances up. “He’s a good guy.”
She elbows him back, but she’s blushing a little. “You can’t be too sure. He wears cologne to the gym.”
Steve throws his head back and laughs so loudly that Stark stumbles over his lecture and stares, aghast.
“Excuse me, in the back; do you find this subject funny?”
Steve’s really doing an admirable job of biting back his laugh, she can almost see it straining to chime out. He hangs his head in the model of a subdued and solemn student. “Of course not, Professor.”
Stark narrows his eyes and resumes his lecture, casting dark looks at them from time to time. Steve whispers, “Cologne? Really?” and Natasha barely stops herself from laughing too.
Clint leans in her doorway while she ties her sneakers. “C’mon, Tasha.”
“I go to the gym on Wednesdays,” she says, sighing a little when she stands; her inner thigh muscles still hurt from yesterday.
What Natasha means is, Sam goes to the gym on Wednesday. She’s been thinking about him almost all day. She got on the wrong bus this morning because she was trying to remember the shade of his eyes. She’s even—it hurts to admit this, even to herself—she’s even bought him a blueberry Nutrigrain bar.
Clint knows her well enough and is, in general, smart enough to hear what she isn’t saying. “I get that, believe me I do, but. You’ve gotta rest up. You can go back to kicking butt and showing off next week if you want, or Saturday, but you’ve gotta rest.”
If she had enough momentum, she’d be ducking under his arm and in the hallway and on her way. Clint catches her stare and shifts into a more solid stance, the one that makes him look intimidating in his hockey gear but right now makes him look bedheaded and earnest and like her best friend.
Nat says, “I don’t really wanna go, but I do,” and Clint smiles with half of his mouth.
He looks up and runs a hand along the doorframe like it’s the most fascinating thing, still smiling like it’s just for her. “Wanna get out?”
“Where?”
“Dunno,” he says, and shrugs.
Their university does movies for free at the Union, so that’s where they go. Every Wednesday through Saturday at 9 PM whoever’s in charge of the videos cycles through blockbusters that came out earlier in the year, usually on a few month’s delay. It’s always very energetic; the room seats 150 people, give or take, and that many college kids in a room tend to laugh and talk to the screen now and then in very audible whispers.
It’s Moana tonight. Natasha buys the popcorn and Clint does the butter and salt in an easy routine that they’ve established over the last decade and a half, one born from Natasha having a job and but sense of what to do with butter and Clint not having a job but the amazing ability, somehow, to properly flavor even the vaguely cardboard-y popcorn served outside the theatre.
She’s checking his work—flawless, as always; he can’t seem to miss the mark—when he says, “Oh, hey Steve.”
Clint takes the popcorn back, which is good because she almost drops it. Steve smirks at her but she barely sees him; Sam’s leather jacket is filling up her field of view.
“Hey Clint, Nat,” Steve says. “Nat, I think you know Sam?” Nat glares at him and he shrugs in an I’m sorry kind of way, which would’ve been fine if his eyes weren’t plainly amused.
Sam says, “We’ve met. How’re your thighs?”
Clint makes a noise that sounds like he’s got popcorn stuck in his throat at that. “Her thighs?” Steve doubles over, laughing a little breathlessly.
“Fine,” Nat says, ignoring Clint and Steve, but it’s okay because she and Sam have both gone red now. “Just. Taking a day off. Rest day.”
“Good, good,” Sam says. He’s wearing what Natasha thinks is his my best friend is an idiot expression; she recognizes it because she makes the same face about Clint.
She looks at them—they’re not paying attention anymore, Clint’s showing Steve something on his phone—and then back at Sam and says, halfway between annoyed and flustered, “Wanna find a seat?”
And he says, “Absolutely,” and they sit next to each other and, in the dark, she imagines that this is, maybe, a date. A daydream ruined when Clint and Steve stumble over them to get to their own seats and spill Steve’s drink all over the floor, flooding over the tops of their shoes and making the floor obnoxiously sticky when they shift their feet.
New Text Message
Steve: yknow tht Sam liks you
Me: Are you drunk?
Steve: cant get drunk rmmber
Steve: scince
Me: That’s not how science works
Me: Are you okay? Do we need to come get you?
Steve: nahhhhh
Steve: mfine. got Sam
(Steve added Clintyyy to the chat.)
Steve: CLINT tell her
Clintyyy: What’s with the caps man?
Steve: phone bein weird
Steve: does that
Me: Are you sure you’re fine?
Steve: i am not Sam he’s in lov
Steve: *live
Steve: *lpbe
Clintyyy: We got you
Steve: you knoe what I mean
Me: He’s drunk
Steve: mnot
Me: Like Budapest all over again
Clintyyy: Ah the memories
Natasha has twelve missed calls from Steve when she wakes up. She checks through them, straining to separate the synth in the background from Steve’s slurred speech, and makes a mental note to make Steve the DD from now on. Boy can’t handle his alcohol very well.
She also has a series of quick texts from a number she doesn’t recognize, and she smiles when she sees them: Got him home safe, don’t worry. Got your number from his phone. Don’t forget to hydrate.
Clint walks with her to the bus stop, very blatantly reading over her shoulder. She lets him. “‘Don’t forget to hydrate’?” he says, one eyebrow raised.
Nat just shrugs and shows her ID to the busdriver. Clint follows behind her. He wants to ask something, she can tell, so she waits and leans the back of her head against the window. He pokes a hole in the knee of her jeans.
The bus slows to a stop by the main lawn five minutes later and they get up, sling backpacks over tired shoulders. Nat’s class is a little bit of a walk from the stop but Clint’s is in one of the old buildings ringing the lawn, so they hug and go on their way.
But he’s running after her a beat later, and he asks, winded (he should, she thinks, probably come with her to the gym), “You like him?”
“Maybe,” she tells him.
Clint studies her with the certainty and ease that comes from knowing someone for awhile. “You do,” he says, like he’s found something worth finding.
She says, “Yeah,” and they smile at each other.
New Text Message
Clintyyy: Still up for it?
Steve: Yessss
Me: Why not
Loud, overly flirtatious and forward drunk frat guys. That’s why not.
Thirsty Thursday is always a little over-the-top, but somehow, today, it’s one hundred percent worse; they’ve walked the entirety of College Ave. looking for a bar that wasn’t overflowing but still quality. There are approximately seven different bars within feasible walking distance—that is, within the distance that a still somewhat hungover Steve, an exercise-loath Clint, and a Natasha in relatively high heels would be willing to walk to. Seven bars for 40,000 students, maybe only half of whom can (legally) drink, maybe only half of that half who don’t have classes Fridays and would be out around this time. And, apparently, all of those students are tipsy frat guys.
They don’t say anything to her, per se, never do, but they’d said things to each other about her when she and Steve and Clint walk by, and once was enough for her to dislike them on principle.
The three of them had planned for eight. Eight was a dumb idea, evidently, because the bars they would have no trouble getting into Monday through Wednesday at eight o’clock are filled with lines a block long.
“Should we just call it?” Clint asks in frustration. They’re at the sixth bar on the list.
Nat shakes her head. “Let’s try the next one. We’re out, we’re cute, we may as well. And I really have to pee.”
“Well said,” Steve says.
The seventh bar is called The Triskelion for reasons Natasha hadn’t cared to ask about. The logo is the same curving lines as her boss’ tattoo, and Fury never struck her as the type of person to welcome questions about it, so she’d shelved her curiosity.
It’s a little, low lit dingy place with graffitied walls and peeling paint. But the bar is clean and so are the tables, and there aren’t as many frat guys here—there’s a few other people at the bar and one or two couples who seem to be on dates, but no Greek letters—, so Nat thinks it’s perfect.
“What can I get you all?” the bartender asks.
Natasha looks and Clint and says, “Surprise me,” and heads off to find the bathroom.
“I got you,” Clint calls. She raises a hand to say she heard.
It’s surprisingly clean, the bathroom. It’s unisex, so there are urinals and stalls, but there isn’t as much pee everywhere as she’d expected for Thirsty Thursday. She’s washing her hands when the door slams open.
“—right back,” someone says, talking to someone outside, and then: “Shit fuck.”
Nat glances to the door and immediately wishes she was back at the bar. “Hey, Sam.”
He smiles weakly, rubbing the back of his neck. “How you doing?”
“Fine. You alright?”
“You, uh. Heard that, then?” Sam says flatly. She nods, waits. He sighs. “It’s my date.”
Now she really wishes she was back at the bar. The sentence bounces around her head a moment before settling uncomfortably on her stomach.
She says, “Sorry,” and pinches off bits of her paper towel.
“Yeah. Don’t know what I was expecting, it’s just,” he says, and now he throws up his hands, “everything’s gone wrong, she told me that I was ‘just the sweetest thing’ and ‘so soft’ and that I remind her of her dead chocolate lab, and she didn’t answer if I asked if it was because I’m black. I mean, I was kidding, but not now, clearly.”
“She sounds interesting,” Nat says carefully. “I’m sorry.”
“‘Interesting’ is a little milder than I’m thinking,” he says. “It’s my fault really, it’s Tinder and I was gonna call it off, but she sounded so sad in the messages.”
“What’re you gonna do?”
Sam looks around the bathroom and says sheepishly, “I was going to pop open the window, actually. But there isn’t one. So.”
“I’m sorry,” Nat says. On an impulse she takes his hand and squeezes it. “You can do this. It only has to be a one-time thing.”
He squeezes her hand back. “I’ll try.”
New Text Message
Me: Abort
Nutrigrain Bar: What happened? Are you okay?
Me: Frat guy at the bar hitting on me
Me: buying me a drink npw
Me: Steve and Clint in bathroom
Nutrigrain Bar: One sec
“Hold on, I gotta tell Clint and Steve, they worry,” Nat says a little breathlessly, leaning against the brick wall of the library. Sam starts to back away but she catches his jacket sleeve as a sort of tether. She sends her text one-handed and pulls him closer, and the second kiss is as nice as the first, and the third is better.
New Text Message
Nutrigrain Bar: I had a very, very nice time last night
Me: Me too
Me: It’d be a shame if
Me: You know
Nutrigrain Bar: If it happened again?
Me: Exactly
Nutrigrain Bar: Well
Nutrigrain Bar: We’ve always got out standing date at the gym
Me: That’s a good start
Nutrigrain Bar: Well hopefully we’ll have a good middle too
New Text Message
Stevie: Told ya
Me: I know
Stevie: For the record
Me: I knowwww
Stevie: ;)
Me: Shut up
“Details,” Clint says, his arm a dead weight around her shoulder; they’re both still feeling last night.
The NCIS opening credits play, but they’ve got the sound off. This is one of Clint’s favorite things to do, sit around and read the lips of the actors on TV shows. Nat’s favorite part is when he gets bored of it and starts making up his own lines.
She tucks her knees close to her chest and leans closer to Clint. He mumbles Gibbs’ line, “Grab your gear,” and she says, “Doesn’t count.”
“Does so.”
“He says it,” and here she yawns, “every episode.”
Clint tugs on her sleeve. “It counts. It’s like the free space in Bingo.”
“Gonna pretend you didn’t say that, Barton.”
“Gonna pretend you aren’t dodging the question, Romanova.”
“You didn’t,” she says, yawning again, “ask me anything.”
“Don’t be a McGoofus, McGee” is what Clint says next. Then: “Fine. Details?”
Remembering it gives her goosebumps. She smiles. “About?”
Clint groans and buries his face in a cushion while she laughs harder than she would normally. His voice is muffled as he says, “The kiss, Tasha, the kissing, the Frenching, snogging, whatever.”
“You mean like, how was it?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
“Tongue?”
“Maybe.”
New Text Message
Steviesteviestevie: Okay I’m presentable now
Steviesteviestevie: Are you almost here?
Me: Just got off the bus
Me: Be there in 5
Steve flings the door open wide and drapes himself against it, saying, “Welcome to my humble abode.”
He’s ridiculous. “You’re always so dramatic,” Nat says, laughing in spite of herself. She crosses the threshold and Steve closes the door behind her.
She’s never been in Steve’s apartment before. It’s about what she would’ve expected for a student on a college budget: small living room with a small TV and bookcase, small kitchen, small bathroom with a corner of the mirror missing. A hallway leads off the living room and has three doors, one being the bathroom, one Steve’s room, and then a closet, maybe.
He spread out cool ranch Doritos and Oreos and lemonade on the counter. After handing her a (paper) plate, Steve piles huge handfuls of the Doritos onto his own plate and sits.
The Doritos are now half empty. “You should’ve just taken the bag,” Nat comments. She deliberates for a second and then just takes the Oreo tray to the table.
“There’s time,” Steve says. “We’ve got a lot of studying to do.”
Nat plunks her notes and books onto the table. “That we do.”
Two hours later, Natasha hits the wall.
Thirty minutes after that, Clint texts her about an NHL game, so she commandeers Steve’s TV and watches that. Steve abandons his homework and joins her on the couch and they yell at a few missed calls, and she finally gets him to agree to join her and Clint’s team (thereby allowing her to win a twenty dollar bet).
Around nine, a Mythbusters marathon starts. Natasha and Steve have a competition to see who can stack and eat the most Oreo filling. Steve wins, but only because his mouth his bigger.
At ten Steve’s Russian pen pal FaceTimes him, and, after exchanging hellos in Russian, Steve introduces him to Nat. Steve’s pen pal has long hair and the unlikely name of ‘Bucky’ and is surprised when Natasha takes to him exclusively in Russian.
Sometime after that Natasha’s alone on the couch, and while the Mythbusters team blows stuff up onscreen, she falls asleep.
She hears it and holds a pillow over her head in sheer stubborn refusal to be awake. When she moves, her arm threatens to fall off; sleeping on the couch never really works out for her unless she sleeps on someone.
The lights are off in the apartment. Careful to keep her ears covered, she peeks at the TV and sees that someone turned it off. The singing’s coming from the kitchen, then. If she focuses extremely hard she can just make out the pitch on the voice, and from what she knows from several painful karaoke nights, Steve’s voice isn’t this nice to listen to. Even if it’s waking her up at—she checks the clock on the bookcase—four in the morning. She blearily considers the possibility that Steve’s being robbed.
Whoever’s singing (a musical burglar?) is getting into it. Their words filter through the pillow now: “Just remember, you’re the one thing I can’t get enough of”.
That’s it. She throws the pillow across the room and storms into the kitchen.
“What the hell are you—” That’s when she sees Sam.
He stops midword in surprise. “Nat?” he says, uncertain. “Why’re you here?”
She crosses her arms. “Why’re you here?”
“I asked first,” he says, yawning.
“Studying.”
He says, “Sleeping.”
This more than anything annoys her. “Trying to,” she says pointedly. “Was sleeping.”
It seems to take him a moment to put together what she’s saying. “Oh. Sorry.”
“Your turn.”
“I live here?” He raps his knuckles on the back of a chair.
She’s not awake enough for this. “Here?”
“Steve and I are roommates,” Sam says.
“I thought—” she yawns “—thought he lived alone.”
Sam says, in a tone too bright for this time of morning, “Nope.”
“Why Dirty Dancing in the kitchen? Can’t you practice in, I don’t know, the car? The shower?”
Sam looks at her oddly. “Yeah,” he says. “I do,” and this time it’s Nat who takes a moment to understand what he’s saying.
And then she puts it together. “The gym.”
He nods, smiling slightly. “Thought you knew.”
“No,” she says, rubbing her eyes. It’s too early for this.
“Shame.” He looks very determinedly at the ceiling. “I was trying to woo you.”
She laughs. “Through the shower.”
“Wasn’t sure what else to do,” Sam says, shrugging. But he’s smiling, and she thinks that maybe she’s found something worth finding.
“You’re an idiot,” Nat says.
He says, hopeful, “That mean it worked?”
“Maybe,” she says.
New Text Message
Me: Made it back fine, thanks for asking
Nutrigrain Bar: Good :)
Me: And it worked
Me: How’s Wednesday?
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alanajacksontx ¡ 7 years ago
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Who were the “winners” and “losers” of organic search in 2017?
Earlier this week, Searchmetrics published its fourth annual Winners and Losers Report, which reveals how certain sites fared in organic search visibility on Google.com during 2017.
Searchmetrics bases its analysis on a unique indicator known as ‘SEO visibility’, which it uses to measure a webpage’s performance in organic search.
This is not the same as organic search ranking, but aims to give an overview of how often a website shows up in search results, based on “search volume and the position of ranking keywords” (as explained in the Searchmetrics FAQ).
Using this metric, Searchmetrics calculates the change in websites’ SEO visibility over the course of the year, and sorts the top 100 winners and losers by absolute change in visibility.
Last year, we examined the winners and losers in organic search during 2016, and concluded that social media and shopping were the overall “winners”, while online encyclopedias, reference websites and lyrics websites all lost out.
How do the results from this year stack up against last year, and what can we learn from the trends highlighted?
Encyclopedias and dictionaries are back on top
In a surprising reversal of 2016’s fortunes, online encyclopedias and dictionaries were among some of the biggest “winners” in 2017.
Encyclopedias made up 9% of the overall winners by industry, with websites like britannica.com, thesaurus.com and collinsdictionary.com enjoying triple-digit percentage gains in SEO visibility. Of the top five domains ranked by gain in absolute SEO visibility, four were dictionary or encyclopedia websites: Merriam Webster, Wikia, Dictionary.com and Wiktionary.
This is a huge change from last year, when social networking websites dominated the top five; out of last year’s top five “winners”, only YouTube is still on top, rising up the ranks from fourth to first place.
Searchmetrics attributes this miraculous change in fortune to an algorithm update in June 2017 dubbed the “dictionary update”. Dictionary websites had been slowly gaining in visibility since the beginning of the year, but over the three-week period between 25th June and 16th July, they saw an even more notable uptick:
Dictionary websites saw a boost from Google’s “Dictionary update” in June and July 2017
Searchmetrics noted that dictionary URLs particularly improved their ranking for short-tail keywords with ambiguous user intent – suggesting that Google might be examining whether the users searching these terms could be looking for definitions.
I would speculate that Google could also be promoting fact-based reference websites as part of its ongoing efforts to battle fake news and dubious search results – but this is purely speculation on my part.
The trend is also not borne out by Wikipedia, which continues to see its SEO visibility drop as more Knowledge Graph integrations appear for its top keywords, allowing users to see key information from Wikipedia without bothering to click through to the site – and possibly preventing those pages in Wikipedia from ranking.
The losers lost out more on mobile
One very interesting trend highlighted in Searchmetrics’ findings is the fact that domains which lost out in 2017 saw even bigger drops on mobile than on desktop.
Domains which started out the year with roughly equal desktop and mobile visibility closed out the year with their mobile visibility far below that of desktop. For example, TV.com’s mobile visibility was 41% below its desktop visibility by the end of 2017, while perezhilton.com’s mobile visibility was 42% lower than desktop, and allmusic.com was 43% lower.
Without going behind the scenes at Google’s search index, it’s hard to know exactly what the cause could be. TV.com decidedly fails Google’s Mobile-Friendly Test, but perezhilton.com and allmusic.com both pass. Because Searchmetrics is measuring organic search visibility, these drops may not be due to a lower SERP ranking, but could be due to the websites not appearing for as many search queries on mobile.
What isn’t surprising is that in 2017, we began to see much bigger differences between the way search behaves on mobile and the way it behaves on desktop. Back in August, we looked at the results of a BrightEdge study which found that 79% of all keywords ranked differently in mobile search compared to desktop.
At the time, we speculated that this was due to tests on Google’s part to prepare for the upcoming mobile-first index. Just two months later, Google’s Gary Illyes announced at SMX East that the mobile-first index had in fact already begun rolling out, albeit very slowly.
2017 was the year that we truly started to see mobile search on Google diverge from desktop, and in 2018 we’ve already had confirmation of a major upcoming change to Google’s mobile algorithm in July, after which point page speed will officially be a ranking factor on mobile. So to say that mobile and desktop search results will continue to diverge further in 2018 seems like a very safe prediction to make.
So long, social media?
Possibly the most curious change in fortune between 2016 and 2017 was seen with social media websites, which were among some of the biggest winners in 2016 and some of the biggest losers in 2017.
Visual social network Pinterest went from being the second-biggest ‘winner’ in terms of absolute search visibility in 2016 to suffering a 23% visibility loss in 2017. Similarly, discussion forum Reddit saw a 54% drop in visibility in 2017 after having been the 8th biggest ‘winner’ in 2016.
Tumblr and Myspace also experienced significant losses, and while Facebook and Twitter (#3 and #6 in 2016, respectively) weren’t among the “losers” highlighted by Searchmetrics in 2017, they also appeared nowhere in the list of “winners”.
It’s hard to say exactly why this would be. In last year’s study, Searchmetrics attributed Pinterest’s huge gains in visibility to its “application of deep-learning techniques” to understand user intent, “thereby generating more loyalty and stickiness online”. Whether Pinterest has slowed its progress on this front, or whether other shifts in Google’s index have caused its visibility to suffer, is unknown.
Reddit, meanwhile, appears to have suffered at the hands of Google’s “Phantom V” update, with visibility dropping off sharply at the beginning of 2017. Its mobile visibility was particularly low going in to 2017, which Searchmetrics tentatively attributes to technical issues with the mobile version of its website.
Reddit’s visibility drops off as Phantom V hits in February 2017
It could be that the losses in visibility suffered by social media websites in 2017 are due to differing circumstances and not part of a wider trend, but it’s an interesting coincidence nonetheless.
What can we learn from the “winners” and “losers” of 2017?
Many of the changes of fortune experienced by websites in 2017 were the result of a specific Google update. Phantom V was spotted in the SERPs in mid-February, sending a number of brands’ domains yo-yoing up and down. Google Fred hit not long afterwards, affecting ad-heavy websites with low-quality content and poor link profiles.
Another key change of note is the User Localization Update of October 2017, in which Google started showing search results based on users’ physical location regardless of the Top-Level Domain (.com, .co.uk, .fr) they might be using to search – a big development for local SEO.
Individual updates aside, however, there are a few key points that we can take away from 2017’s Winners and Losers Report:
High-quality content continues to be king, along with content that perfectly serves the user intent.
Brands continue to do well targeting a specific content niche – as exemplified by About.com, the old content network from the late 90s. It recently relaunched as “Dotdash”, an umbrella brand spanning six different niche verticals – several of which are already making great headway in search.
About.com is reborn as five (now six) different niche websites, which quickly begin to climb in search
If you’re targeting short-tail keywords with ambiguous user intent (like “beauty”), be aware that your consumers might now be seeing reference websites appear much higher up in the search results than before – so you may have better chances of ranking for longer-tail, more specific keywords.
Mobile, mobile, mobile – 2018 will be the year that mobile and desktop search truly diverge, so make sure you’re on top of your optimization for both.
from IM Tips And Tricks https://searchenginewatch.com/2018/01/25/who-were-the-winners-and-losers-of-organic-search-in-2017/ from Rising Phoenix SEO https://risingphxseo.tumblr.com/post/170113870165
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