#im 7 years sober from self harm and i 100% don’t wanna self harm there’s nothing to worry about with me

[flying-bi-son]

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[trippz2ill2ace8itout]

🔥🔥🖤I'm Here For You, My Angels🖤🔥🔥

TRIGGER WARNING!!! No pity sympathy or attention I’m not glorifying anything, this is all written by me , and my experiences, yes I’ve always been a girl lol I just dress how I want to !!! 🌙🔥🌟Hey its izzy, My goal is to save help fix care and support and be there for all living and non living things, the universe, the worlds. And the galaxys ans everything. I wanna make my own hotline. Since i already help everyone and everything obsessivly. Ill do anything i can to makw a difference. Stay alice uall im always here.🥀🖤🦋 It’s Izzy again , Hello, don’t be afraid , insanity’s coming to take u away , I’d stay up all night if it meant saving someone’s life , I’d be the super hero in every movie , with a hint of insanity , or maybe all hints lol. I’ve been to 215 mental hospitals, 3 foster homes (2 were abusive) group homes , homeless 13 times, many unlocked/locked , short and long term treatment centers, a level 14 residential treatment center in Utah (Copper Hills Youth Center) , no home from 2011-2018, crisis centers , boarding cares , rehabs and I’m part of the LBGTQ COMMUNITY!!! I’m Izzy (I’ve always been a girl) I’m a biromantic asexual, I hate sex. Don’t date at all,I’m 21 , I have an unbiological son , Anthony Castillo-Martinez, who got taken away from me cuz of false accusations, stay strong yo It’s Izzy here once again Hey if u wanna die tonight , let me convince you otherwise, ur worth it and people are to blind to see that You shine so bright that the sun covers its eyes , trust me I know what it’s like , over 10+ mental illnesses, and trauma occurring 24/7 from 2001-2018, Bipolar isn’t just mood swings , it’s dangerous mania and physcotic breaks Schizoaffective isn’t just voices and visions , it’s possessing and physcotic episodes, ur so out of reality , ur demons come inside u , they become alive , getting paranoid man , there after me , I made a whole world in my head x not knowing reality Anorexia isn’t just an eating disorder, it’s calories and starving yourself and obsessively hating your body , no matter how skinny you get u still feel fat, feeding tubes and passing out and hospitals OCD isn’t just obsessing , it’s fearing something bad will happen if u don’t do what it tells u ODD isn’t just defiance , it’s massive explosions that come out of nowhere BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER isn’t just anger , it’s everything intensified and it’s out of reality spells ADHD isn’t just not concentrating, it’s not knowing who u are at times ,it’s jumping off walls and uncontrollable hyper ness and uncontrollable behavior PTSD isn’t just trauma ,it’s reminders of the trauma , it’s nightmares and flashbacks and it effects ur daily life, trust me I have had trauma occurring 24/7 from 2001-2018 , no pity sympathy or attention , from torture abuse rape , drugged up , anything man I’m non functional INSOMNIA I can’t sleep for days , no matter how many meds I take , I still lie awake , I hate sleep but it is also an escape from reality, I stay up for days , but I’m not intoxicated , I can’t sleep at all. DEPRESSION oh man , I wanna die every day , I’m drowning In an ocean and I can’t swim ,I feel worthless hopeless alone , like I have no reason , it comes at random times , I can’t escape this state of mind , I’m trapped in my mind . ANXIETY is something that u feel like ur crawling out of your skin , panic attacks so bad I got rushed to the hospital , I’m scared 24/7 , anxiety also catches u In ur sleep , u have restless dreams , you feel like u can’t breathe , like everything’s either slowing down or speeding up. ADDICTION AND ALCOHOLISM I’m over 1 year sober from drugs and alcohol , I was getting tortured for drugs , I used 24/7 to numb my pain , the drug was just as addicted to me than I was to it , it was my only friend , I’m on step 2 and I have an amazing sponsor DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY FUED , I can’t process reality , I dissociate to many alternate universes, I’m out of reality I’m in a dream I feel like I’m in a movie , physically I’m here but mentally I’m not , I’m so far gone .where am I , who am I , what why when am I ?? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER , am I you or am I , I . I have many alters that switch , the demons possess me , I don’t know who I am, over 50+ alters/demons I become them , we become clueless AUTISM I got diagnosed when I was a kid , I get marked “retarded” but I have high functioning autism (aspbergers) or however the fuck u spell it . I was always in special ed SUICIDE I’ve attempted suicide over 100+ times, and I wanted to never wake up or even be born or exsist , I feel like I’m poison to this earth , and nobody wants me , I wouldn’t care if I didn’t wake up , I’ve been there before, I tried every method of suicide there is , but I learned that suicide ends ur pain but passes it to someone else ,I wanna be painless .if any of are suicidal, plz message me , I’ll stay up all night so I can save your life SELF HARM until u see it bleed and take away all our pain , we continue to make scars and we can’t stop,I’ve been self harming ever since age 9, and I’ve self harmed in every method possible , and I’m not proud of it, I’m not glorifying at all, if any of u feel like hurting yourself plz talk to someone, talk to me .please I know it’s addicting..... I’m here for you all NARCOLEPSY I fall asleep out of nowhere , even In the day, it’s hard man ,I never got put on medication for it cuz my doctor said my medication CAUSED IT !! CRITICALLY/clinically INSANIE Multiple doctors diagnosed me “Critically/Clinically Insane” I’m the most high maintenance case in the system. Now that we’re done here, please don’t go , I’m here to lift u up,I’m here for all u like I said in the beginning of this post . Thank u all for breathing for being alive for being here , I’m tearing up as I write this , i wish I could fix and save all the living and non living c, read the first part of this post again . If u need me I’m here , I’ve always been a girl lol I just dress how I want to .

[i-smile-so-i-must-be-fine]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? my phone

2. Are you outgoing or shy? shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? my girl tomorrow 

4. Are you easy to get along with? sometimes

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? yea

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? funny, smart. couragous people 

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? hope so 

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? my son

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? depends who its with

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? my girl 

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? emojis 

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? sober - demi lovato tell me you love me - demi lovato home - gabriella aplin sorry not sorry - demi lovato warrior - demi lovato 

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? yea

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? sometimes

15. What good thing happened this summer? not a right lot so far 

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? always

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? yea

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? no

19. Do you like bubble baths? no

20. Do you like your neighbors? not really

21. What are you bad habits? i have a few

22. Where would you like to travel? the world 

23. Do you have trust issues? yea

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? seeing my little boy and talking to my girl 

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? stomach 

26. What do you do when you wake up? check my phone and have a smoke

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? darker

28. Who are you most comfortable around? my girl 

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? yea

30. Do you ever want to get married? 1 day 

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? yea

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? demi lovato margot robbie

33. Spell your name with your chin. dvdb

34. Do you play sports? What sports? not anymore 

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yea

37. What do you say during awkward silences? depends who im with 

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? my girl is my dream girl 

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? depends what im buying 

40. What do you want to do after high school? i went to college

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? depends what they did 

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? nothing to say, thinking to much, or i don’t feel like talking 

43. Do you smile at strangers? sometimes

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? ocean

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? the fact i have a 3 year old 

46. What are you paranoid about? a lot of things 

47. Have you ever been high? yea

48. Have you ever been drunk? yea

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? self harmed 

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? blue

51. Ever wished you were someone else? yea 

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? my stomach 

53. Favourite makeup brand? dont wear it 

54. Favourite store? depends what im buying 

55. Favourite blog? dont have one 

56. Favourite colour? red, blue, black

57. Favourite food? lasagne 

58. Last thing you ate? apple pie and custard

59. First thing you ate this morning? nothing 

60. Ever won a competition? For what? i won sport competions in school 

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? no 

62. Been arrested? For what? kinda and got accused of strangling someone 

63. Ever been in love? yea

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? awkwaes

65. Are you hungry right now? no

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i only have 2 of them and don’t talk all that much anymore 

67. Facebook or Twitter? facebook

68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? no 

70. Names of your bestfriends? shauna

71. Craving something? What? cuddles with my girl 

72. What colour are your towels? i have varies of colours 

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no 

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? a few 

75. Favourite animal? tiger

76. What colour is your underwear? red

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? strawberry or cookie dough 

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? white and black 

80. What colour pants? non

81. Favourite tv show? currently wentworth 

82. Favourite movie? don’t have 1 

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? mean girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? mean girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? janice 

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? dory

87. First person you talked to today? in person my little boy

88. Last person you talked to today? my mum 

89. Name a person you hate? my girls ex and my ex 

90. Name a person you love? my girl and little boy 

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? a few people 

92. In a fight with someone? no 

93. How many sweatpants do you have? don’t count them

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? quite a few 

95. Last movie you watched? the greatest showman

96. Favourite actress? margot robbie 

97. Favourite actor? channing tatum

98. Do you tan a lot? not anymore

99. Have any pets? yea

100. How are you feeling? fine 

101. Do you type fast? sometimes

102. Do you regret anything from your past? yea

103. Can you spell well? sometimes

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yea 

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yea

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? yea

107. Have you ever been on a horse? no 

108. What should you be doing? nothing 

109. Is something irritating you right now? yea

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? yea

111. Do you have trust issues? already answered 

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? haven’t cried for a while 

113. What was your childhood nickname? jess 

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? dont live in the states 

115. Do you play the Wii? not anymore

116. Are you listening to music right now? yea

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? no 

118. Do you like Chinese food? yea

119. Favourite book? her

120. Are you afraid of the dark? no 

121. Are you mean? no 

122. Is cheating ever okay? no 

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? yea

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? yea

125. Do you believe in true love? yea

126. Are you currently bored? very

127. What makes you happy? my girl and little boy

128. Would you change your name? not anymore

129. What your zodiac sign? virgo 

130. Do you like subway? yea

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? ew

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? shauna 

133. Favourite lyrics right now? im caving in and i don’t wanna fight anymore

134. Can you count to one million? yea but effort 

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? dunno 

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed

137. How tall are you? 5″2

138. Curly or Straight hair? straight 

139. Brunette or Blonde? brunetter

140. Summer or Winter? autumn

141. Night or Day? day

142. Favourite month? don’t have one 

143. Are you a vegetarian? no 

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk and white 

145. Tea or Coffee? tea

146. Was today a good day? it was okay 

147. Mars or Snickers? neither

148. What’s your favourite quote? love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

149. Do you believe in ghosts? no 

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via