#illuminati but screw it

[saturna625]

You work at the Mystery Shack in Gravity Falls.

It's no big deal, really. I mean, every once in a while, you realize that it's gotta be a front for something. A cult, the illuminati, or the mafia, you weren't really sure.

You weren't paid enough to care, honestly.

But the job was fun enough, and the customers were cool to screw with, and it paid the bills, plus your coworkers were pretty cool.

Your boss was.... an odd man, sure. A good con, a great sense of humor, and a mouth that could make a sailor blush, but you wouldn't say he's evil.

He's got a great nephew and niece, who come up every summer. They're chill, too. Mabel sends you home with at least two new stickers every day. Your binder is getting too full. But you didn't mind, the kid was sweet. You'd find a use for these stickers, later.

Gravity Falls was an odd town, but you didn't really seem to mind that either. A little town, barely even a dot on the state map, hidden behind back roads upon back roads in the great state of Oregon. It had its moments, and it's stories.

You were decently sure the lawn gnome in your garden moved on its own, and your attic was definitely haunted (you regret mentioning that to the kids– you've found that Dipper kid trying to look up where you lived), but it was cheap and homey, and a great place to live after scraping past college.

Then your boss– who was really your boss's brother? Who had taken up his name, when he disappeared, the ultimate con, you actually admired him for that– Stanley, and his twin, the original owner of the Shack, Stanford emerged from behind the vending machine, you knew that you were maybe in a little too deep. Mafia ties, for sure.

Then quite some events happen: ie, the sky splits open, you become a statue for a hot minute, and then... aren't, anymore (dude, the squirrel that you treat as your therapist is gonna go wild when he hears this) and you're back at the Shack.

The building is warmer now. Pointdexter– or Ford, the actual one, is a pretty good man. A little blunt, with not much common sense for the amount of books smarts he has, but good.

If you find anything weird, or out of place, it's his.

If you see him fighting an interdimensional squid, and then you're told there's seviche in the kitchen, you don't question it.

And you take some seviche to go.

The shack is a little louder since Ford's arrival. Stan seems happy. Dipper too. And Mabel, well, she still gives you stickers as you leave your shift.

You're on a walk, something you read that could help with coping, through the woods. The weather is nice today, and for once, it's not raining, and even better, the air is crisp and cool.

You decide to take a new trail. It leads into a bit of a clearing, you can see a rock piling, some flowers, and a creek. It's pretty.

You take your journal out, a small, leatherbound thing (the inside cover is coated with stickers. Mabel, please) and begin to sketch it, a hobby you've picked up in the last months.

You're not the best, but you're not the worst, either. As you're finishing up, you spot a weird shift in the rocks.

Weird is normal here.

So you get up to go investigate, holding your journal at the ready, like a defensive position.

The statue does not move.

It looks like the illuminati symbol. Like the top of the pyramid on the back of a dollar bill. It's overgrown with moss, but you do not recognize it. It's hand is held out, like it's ready to shake yours.

Heh. That would be pretty funny.

If you shook the statue's hand.

It's what it wants. Shake it's hand. Shake the hand.

You draw the statue. It's a shoddy deal, but you actually enjoyed how it turned out. It looks cool.

The hand is outstretched.

You leave one of Mabel's stickers on the statue. It looks a little less intimidating that way.

Your shift starts in twenty minutes, so you tuck your journal in your jacket, and you're off to it.

Maybe you'll come back later. There's a bit more you want to do with the drawing.

Shake the hand.

You've gotta fix the angle on it. You wonder how the sculptor got it to be that way.

You clock in, and pull your journal out again, as Dipper walks through the doors, followed by Ford.

The younger twin asks what your journal is about. He's got a few of his own.

"Kind of random." You tell him. "I draw things I see on my walks, or write down recipes, or stuff like that. Dude, wait until I show you this statue I found in the woods. It'll fit right in with those notebooks you keep..."

[fallenrocket]

Okay, I’m still thinking about Andy’s face, but this time around it’s less about the acting and more about the story. I feel like society makes it easy to be unsympathetic toward people who get a lot of cosmetic work done, particularly if it’s obvious. But La Máquina allows us to see how complex Andy’s situation is and how deeply these issues go for him.

Yes, Andy has his vanity, he’s scared of getting older, and he’s trying to hold back the clock--a major theme of the story, after all, is feeling like time is an enemy. And yes, his appearance is kind of absurd. But the show itself doesn’t treat it as a joke. 

It’s clear that Andy’s learned a lot of his self-image issues from his mom. If anything, her cosmetic treatments look smoother and less blatant than his--she’s got that uncanny valley look, but the seams aren’t so evident--which has to be an added head trip on top of everything else in their toxic relationship. And we see how his first instinct when he’s stressed is to check his face for imperfections. For Andy, Botox is about more than just his fear of getting older. It’s driven so much by his anxieties and insecurities, and reaching for the needle is his misguided attempt to cope with everything going on that he can’t control. Just as Esteban struggles with alcohol and drugs, Andy has his own addiction to deal with.

Everything really comes to a head at Saul’s funeral, after Andy screws up with a couple of emergency Botox vials from his glove box. When he realizes that he’s accidentally pinched a nerve in his forehead and over-injected his lip, his panic is palpable. There’s anguish in his eyes as he physically tries to hide his face from the other funeral-goers, and he crashes into people in his frenzied attempt to get out of the room. Pleading with his doctor on the phone--“I’m at a funeral, doc. I can’t go right now…I can’t wait till tomorrow. I have to go downstairs!” Tearing apart the bathroom, looking for anything he can use for damage control. Hiding out alone when he can’t fix his face.

It’s later spelled out that Andy hasn’t told anyone but Carlota and his mom about the Botox. He’s desperate for other people to think he looks good, he doesn’t think anyone else realizes what he’s been doing to his face, and the thought of them finding out seizes him with shame and dread. 

Keep in mind, when all this is going on, Andy is attending the funeral of the brother-in-law who was murdered by the shadowy Boxing Illuminati to force his best friend to tank his legacy in his final fight. On the list of his and Esteban’s problems, “bad injection” ranks far below all the other drama they’ve got going on. But Andy’s reaction in this moment is more intense, more frightened than anything else that happens to him in the show. It’s clear that this is his worst nightmare come to life, and he’s utterly horrified. Props to La Máquina, and Diego Luna’s incredible performance, for really giving us a window into Andy’s point-of-view here and making this part of his story so complex, human, and sympathetic.

[lets-try-some-writing]

I don't know if you still want writing ideas And I pretty much just started following you so I'm not sure what you would want? But I just read your precious "starscream knitts like a madman" post. And the other night I had a dream of Starscream selling plushies(to humans). So my sugestion/2am thought, How would starscream go about "selling" plushies, or whatever stuff he knitted to humans? There is after all, only so many mittens the vehicons can take before they become more mittens then bot.

Yes yes yes and more yes. Such a fun little idea, I will happily write a little headcannon on it for you dear anon!

Starscream's Knitting Business

Starscream is a notorious knitter. Every single bot on the Nemesis has something from him. The Vehicons have coats, mittens, hats, scarves, and every other conceivable form of clothing in abundance. Despite the fact that they don't need them and the cloth only ever gets stuck in their plating, the Vehicons love the clothing. As for high command, they have an equally full wardrobe as well. That is all except Megatron, he can go frag himself in Starscream's opinion.

But as knitting is Starscream's way of working out his anger (and boy does he have a lot of anger) he has quickly run out of things to give to those on the nemesis. And so to find a way to get rid of his completed works and make the event profitable in some way, Starscream has turned to business.

In order to keep a low profile Starscream set himself up a website to sell his knitted masterpieces. It is the most egotistical thing on the internet and he is not at all shy about proclaiming his superiority to his potential customers. Surprisingly, despite his god complex and very obvious aggression, humans flock to his website and before he even realized it he had orders pouring in.

Not one to disappoint, Starscream discreetly began shipping out his finished items in a signature black and red box with no return address. His knitted works quickly rose in popularity due to the mysterious factor involved and Starscream immediately took hold of his new fame to make himself an even bigger icon. Mean little notes and poems were added to his boxes when he sent them out. He also started putting little Cybertronain glyphs on his knitted items, usually somewhere obscure just to increase the mystery factor. And after receiving a ton of positive feedback from humans who found his unique business fun and interesting, Starscream only continued to amp up his personal touch.

Before he knew it, Starscream not only had a profitable business, but a loyal fanbase who were eager to see what other angry notes and knitted things he would make. Some of his most fanatical followers buy things in bulk just because they want to see what little thing he added to his box to make it interesting. Starscream occasionally makes special little boxes with whole poems in Cybertronian or artworks of Cybertron alongside the kitted stuff just for those followers. Because of this, whole conspiracy boards have also popped up surrounding his business, each theorizing who or what he is, where he is from, and what his aim is. Starscream thinks it is hilarious and loves to screw with each and every one of the theorizers by added something ominous to one of his boxes or hinting at his alien nature only to go completely silent on the subject.

His fanbase loves it. By the time his business really gains popularity, no one really buys his boxes because they want some homemade knitted knit knacks. No, they buy his boxes because they want to unravel the mystery that is himself. But unfortunately for the humans, they will never know the truth and Starscream will continue to mess with them for the kick of it.

The biggest running theories created by his fanbase are that Starscream is part of the Illuminati and is trying to run an experiment on manipulating the population. Another is that he is some form of time traveler warning them about what is to come in the future some obscure code and pictures. Some think that he is some sort of secret agent trying to recruit those able to unravel the mystery of his boxes. A few even believe that he is some form of alien trying to integrate into human culture (this one mostly stemmed from his early days on the internet trying to figure out how to act normal).

Starscream thinks they are all hilarious and will do his best to feed the biggest theories every now and then to keep the hype up. He also likes having cash because it means he can buy luxury items from earth and add them to his stash. He is the type of mech to keep nice things and only ever use them to show off. Knockout may be a little jealous of the nice things Starscream accumulates with his wealth but he doesn't voice it.

Extra

Theorist: Guys! I think I have done it! I have unraveled who the person running 'Superior Knitting' is!

Starscream: *snickering* Oh have you now

Theorist: After hours of research and countless hundreds of dollars used to buy Superior Knitting products for analysis, I can proudly say that the mastermind behind it is a Russian spy!

Starscream: *Cackling* Oh Primus that is good!

Starscream: *Furiously typing a new post for his website to partially confirm and contradict the theory* I can't wait to see the chaos!

[vlad-theimplier]

WIP Wednesday: Custos Custodium

In which Jensen tries to juggle investigating the bombing he just survived, his own team's possible suborning by the Illuminati, and the mysterious augs someone jammed into him. Read the whole SNAFU here.

Sedlak was with a customer when he entered Praha Dovoz: she brushed him off with convincing impatience. He asked after the bathroom, and she gave him the cover he needed, jerking an aggravated thumb at the back of the small building. He shut the door to the storefront behind him, then the door to the janitor’s closet, and scanned his card. The closet floor dropped slowly on its mechanism.

“Vega,” he radioed her, “I’m back in business. This whisper chip you gave me: it’s an easy plant?”

“Yeah, easy as it gets. There’ll be a data port on the NSN motherboard. Access it, and then just plug and play. Or plug and record, in this case.”

“Got it. Let you know when it’s done.”

He passed through the scanner and laser grid, recognized and welcomed by the artificial voice. It was nice to be the one with the secret lair for a change. The elevator hit bottom and he stepped out into the bustle of the Task Force in full swing.

To an extent, it resonated familiarly with his years in police bullpens—phones ringing, keyboards hammering, quiet voices speaking intently in cubicles. And it had the same round-the-clock, caffeine-fueled sense of temporal dislocation. Whatever time it was upstairs in the world, down here it was always go time. He felt harmonics from the SWAT ready room, as well: a couple of their Peacekeepers strolled around in fatigues, two in battle rattle followed a similarly-equipped agent back from some smaller op, and muffled gunfire coughed from the shooting range next to their outsized armory.

But even more than that, the place felt like spook country. Jensen had visited FBI field offices before, and the ones with a facilities budget had felt a little like this, all glass and steel and touchscreen displays mixed with the occasional holotable. Analyst chatter had a subtly different cadence from field agent chatter, a little less belligerent, a little more neurotic. He stood in the elevator’s mouth, soaking up the tenor of the place, and decided it was up a notch or two from baseline: the bombing had kicked the hornet’s nest.

Jensen mounted the stairs to the second-floor mezzanine, where Miller’s office overlooked the bullpen. Argento stopped him at the head of the stairs.

“Jensen! You’re here—you made it in. It’s good to see you’re okay.” She put a hand on his shoulder and peered up at his face as if to check.

“Yeah, it was a close call. I got lucky; a lot of people didn’t. Thought you’d be back in the States by now?”

“News of the bombing came in while I was in line to board—I bailed. My family… they understood. I’ll visit when things calm down a little more.” And of course she had to be seen giving a hundred and ten percent, if she wanted a field assignment. “It’s been chaos—phones ringing off the hook, you know how it is. But I’m sure it was worse right after. And to be at ground zero… when Miller told me you were there, I thought—”

“I’m all right.”

Whatever she saw in his face satisfied her. She rapped him on the shoulder and smiled. “Only the metaphorical screws loose, huh? Good. But if you’re looking for him, he’s tied up right now. A meeting with Lyon, I think.”

“Really? He’s using the NSN right now?”

“Yeah, I just saw him go in. Oh, hey! That reminds me—new card for the shooting range. Chang changed all the codes this morning.”

“Again?” He handed over the old one. It was the second time this week.

“The bombing really freaked him out. Third one in six months, can you believe it? I just— I’m really glad you’re okay.”

She looked up at him soberly, and he tried to project a reassuring aura despite the knot in his gut over the mystery augs and the Collective’s whisper chip burning a hole in his pocket. While she’d never opened up to him, he knew she’d lost people back in the Corps, and some of them probably to explosives. “Thanks,” he said. “Me too. Guess I gotta wait on Miller.”

“Yeah, and I should get back downstairs, hand out the rest of these cards. See ya.”

He watched her go. Full armor again, and a glove over her augmented right hand—she wore twenty-five kilos of ceramic plate as easily as running gear. Ready to strap on a gun or five and hit the VTOL whenever Miller and MacReady signed off. And bolstered against anyone who disapproved of an Aug with a Nu-poz issue as an agent. No wonder she’d been awkward, dressed for dinner.

[keepsmagnetoaway]

X-Men 130 (February 1980)

Chris Claremont/John Byrne

And now, we have to talk about...

I absolutely do not intend to go into depth on Dazzler's origin, otherwise this post would be 3,000 words long. The shortest possible version is that she was conceived by various people at Marvel (who initially rushed to claim credit, and then later tried to disavow her) who wanted a pop-music-themed hero that they could sell to new audiences alongside various tie-ins: she was then introduced in this very issue of X-Men, unexpectedly debuting in the middle of the Dark Phoenix Saga while never really having anything to do with it, and in no way being Chris Claremont's idea. This debut, and her whole ...thing... caused her to be widely despised by "real" comics fans and to be pretty poorly treated by Marvel in general for a long time, although she did indeed eventually find an audience with the kind of readers - women, queer people - that Marvel had been trying to reach with her before they decided that, in fact, women and queer people were icky.

There. And now, let us never speak of it again.

No, obviously, we have to continue talking about Dazzler, because this issue is all about her, and also because Dazzler is interesting: frequently absurd, but interesting. But at the same time she seems like such a weird element here - contrasted with the brilliant introduction of Kitty last issue, you can totally see why readers were put off by her arrival and it all smacks of strange editorial mandates, which was indeed what was going on.

Most famously, the Dazzler plan had been in the making for so long - with various screw-ups and failures, including the idea of launching a live-action movie and a real-life singing career for the "character" alongside the comics, both of which never happened - that by the time she debuted disco was dead as a doornail, and embarrassing to be seen enjoying, which is why she is instead present in this scuzzy New Wave club , with Claremont and Byrne desperately trying to square the circle of "disco-themed supermutant that we have to wedge into our timeslip conspiracy romance/drama/soap opera about the Sex Illuminati trying to take over the world, and also we have this other new girl who's thirteen". Hey, speaking of those guys!

Meanwhile, Jean is having sex-visions of becoming...this, in colonial-era America.

And just as we're being teased with an explanation for all this it's interrupted with, yes, Dazzler, herself, at last.

There's no way not to find this all incredibly funny, of course. Cyclops, The Squarest Man In The World, awkwardly hanging out at the super-disco while his girlfriend mindfucks the devil, is an impossibly funny set-up. This stuff is bananas, but it's also absolutely beautiful. Witness, in full, the last page.

Like, this doesn't exactly all work...but it comes surprisingly close. That final page is sublimely dark and strange and over-the-top, and coming after the disco insanity of Dazzler's light-based powers the page of shadows and gloom is beautiful. Where does it go from here? Somehow, it only gets madder.

[tobiasdrake]

One unfortunate limitation for a Multiversal arc like this is the reality of actor availability. Like. Tony Stark's dead in the 616, but that doesn't matter, right? Because there are parallel Tony Starks that we can get involved in things!

...well... No. No, there are not. Tony Stark's dead because RDJ felt like he'd put enough of his life into this character and wanted to move on. He's not coming back to play Tony-838 or Spider-Tony or Tony-Kang or any other cool Tonies you might come up with. For all intents and purposes, Tony is dead (or permanently just offscreen) in all possible universes. And that sort of thing is limiting for the sort of fun you can have with a multiverse.

What If? gets away with having Tonies because the nature of an animated medium makes Marvel more willing to recast. But even though No Way Home gave them a free license to cast new actors as variant characters, they seem reluctant to actually go through with it for their live-action products.

I use Tony as an example because he's relevant to this film, but the same limitation exists for any character whose actor doesn't want to return and for whom Marvel won't recast. We probably won't be seeing Steve Rogers or T'Challa any time soon. Natasha Romanov maybe, but I'd be surprised if there isn't bad blood between ScarJo and Marvel after she literally sued them for trying to screw her out of her Black Widow movie pay.

Though, plus side for Peggy Carter, Steve's unavailability means Captain Carter's getting a publicity push!

We see that here, with the Illuminati. Tony Stark is iconically meant to be one of the Illuminati. But without RDJ, they can't make that happen. And so we get Ultron soldiers evocative of Tony's presence, but without being able to actually bring him here and involve him in this organization that he's iconically so connected to.

It's a very effective workaround to the problem of No Multiversal Tonies. A clever way of keeping him involved when he cannot exist onscreen. But it's a solution to a problem that other mediums, such as comics and animation, simply don't have with their wacky multiversal jaunts. And the longer the MCU runs, the more they're going to run into this sort of thing.

They should really consider taking NWH up on that "Variants played by different actors is fine" thing.

[arkytiorwrites]

How the Avengers Would React…

To You Hiding an Injury, No Matter How Small

838 Stephen Strange x Reader

Sorry if he’s a bit awkward. I’m trying to get into the swing of writing the different Stranges.

. . .

"Please Christine. Just. think of it as a sorta IOU!” A familiar voice pleaded as Stephen walked past the entrance to the medical wing of the Illuminati HQ.

"Does Stephen know about this?" the older redhead asked tiredly.

"My good Doctor Palmer. If Stephen Strange knew about this do you think I'd be here?" the other voice demanded.

"What don't I know about?" he finally asked, walking in on a somewhat comical scene.

His partner of three years had dived behind a gurney when he entered in an attempt to hide their blackened, singed self.

"Y/N, what are you doing?"

". . . Sharpening my reflexes?” the young sorcerer offered lamely.

Arching an eyebrow, the Sorcerer Supreme patiently waited for the younger, spunky wild card to crack.

It probably took about five seconds of awkward shuffling and Christine heaving an exasperated sigh.

"Just. Just promise you won't get mad,” they demanded.

"That depends,” the former neurosurgeon snorted.

Sighing, Y/N hesitantly stepped out to reveal the extent of the damage. Red clouded the Sorcerer Supreme’s vision as he took in the angry burns on their hands, bright pink nose and cheeks, singed fringe and the quiet pain in the normally cheeky and carefree eyes.

"Where is Reed?" he hissed, knowing full well that the egotistical bastard was fully to blame for the damage Y/N had stustained.

"Labs."

"Christine!" Y/N squawked.

"Like not telling him would stop him," she justified.

Not waiting for the two to hash things out, Stephen turned to march out from the Medical Wing, hunt down Reed, and tell him exactly what he thought of the elastic man dragging his partner into his deranged experiments.

"Stephen, wait!" Y/N yelped, giving chase as the taller man stormed out and down the hall.

It took them a second to catch up with him, but once they did, they ran in front of him, causing him to stop in his tracks to make sure he didn't run them over.

“Just. Wait," they pleaded. " Reed protected we from the major part of the explosion . It could've been a lot worse.”

" Which is exactly why I'm going to give him a piece of my mind," Stephen snarled. " You shouldn't have been in that situation in the first place!”

“I was the one screwing around with shit I shouldout have!” Y/N argued.

“Reed should know better than to let you into the labs!” he fired back, clearly hellbent on crucifying Reed for being in the same room that Y/N had been hurt in.

So, Y/N played their trump card. Letting the tears of pain they’d been holding back finally come out, and giving him their most pained expression as they whispered, "Stephen please. Just drop it. It was my fault, will you please just. Just cuddle me back home? After Christine treats me? Please babe? I've really, really missed you.”

Sighing as he relented to his lover’s pleas, he did his best to let go of the image he’d had the entire time of Reed eternally falling for several hours in a pocket dimension until he felt the man had suffered enough.

Dragging a hand down his face he stated, "You are banned from the labs until the multiverse burns out."

"Noted." Y/N chuckled wryly. “Walk me back to the Medical Wing?”

“Since you are the wounded victim of your own stupidity, just this once, I will portal us there and then home.”

“Have I mentioned that I love you?” they asked as they slumped with relief.

“Not for the last twenty minutes, no,” Stephen teased as he pulled out his sling ring.

“Well, I do.”

[therese-lokidottir]

Yeah, sorry, Marvel, I didn't shed a single tear for any of these villains when Wanda killed them in an act of heroism.

I mean, they were there only so that their deaths could be played for shock value. (And of course, given Michael Waldron's the one who wrote them, it's no surprise that they're hero-coded villains much like the TVA are.)

Honestly, I don't understand Waldron thought process here. Not only in the comics are The Illuminati are just meant plain wrong but for the writers who keeps going "Your variants all the same" he chose a bunch of characters that have been some of the biggest douchebags. Stephen isn't perfect but I'm pretty sure he hasn't screwed up a fraction as much as Mister Fantastic or Professor X have.

There is a difference between villain and antagonist and they are much more the antagonists than Wanda is. With that most would think it's the point that's the point. That they are hypocrites that brutal end came because they put the blame on the wrong person and refuse to listen. But, no. Doctor Strange the only person trying to do something is arrogant and showing compassion to Wanda was dumb because she's evil.

And why, why is the film so determined to tear down Doctor Strange down and call him wrong? Why does the film have to waste time on that? The first film did in a sincere and interesting way.

[wordsandrobots]

OK, I have two overall things to say about Gundam SEED: Destiny (I’ve been sick, binging this nominally staved off extreme boredom; spoilers to follow).

Number 1: Arthur Trine is doing his best, damnit, and I hope he got a cup of tea and a sit down once everything was over.

Number 2: what an incredibly frustrating show.

In many ways it is leaps and bounds ahead of its predecessor, freed from literally repeating the same set-pieces of the original Gundam to tell a story that, honestly, has something approaching a meaningful point. Chairman Durandal is a compelling antagonist and the way he and Teen!Le Cookset gradually break the series’ pseudo-protagonist to their perspective is narratively interesting. The underlying message in what he does -- about how those in power pick out enemies that will best serve their ends and present themselves as the reasonable ones -- is definitely worth exploring. And the show even manages to address the Gundam-overload issues from SEED, by more clearly delineating the point of each machine and staggering them a bit more competently.

However. It inherits the problem of its length exceeding its content, leading to more stock-footage abuse and, far less forgivably, *three* clips shows, only one of which (the last, focused on Meer) has any actual merit. It also continues SEED’s determination to screw over every single female character who isn’t Lacus. For the record, I *like* Lacus: she’s a nice execution of someone having a ‘typical’ presentation wrapped around a core of stainless steel conviction, which is something I always enjoy in fiction. However, Cagalli in particular is an utter waste of potential, not being allowed to mature, gain focus, or make a single bloody decision without Kira or Athrun’s input, to the point where it’s actively aggravating to watch.

This is where we hit the limits of the genre and demographic, of course, and once again makes me appreciate literally every female character in IBO because Gundam generally is so very *not good* at this. (Obviously G-Witch is ahead again on the score, thankfully, but IBO is probably the best-case scenario within the ‘fiction aimed at boys’ problems that plague its predecessors.)

Shinn is similarly annoying. It’s not a bad thing he’s abrasive and the endpoint was always going to be him winding up a broken, weeping wreck because he’s too stupid to recognise anything beyond his own feelings. But his trauma flashbacks hit parodic very early and he’s far too irritating to be worth sitting through his screen-time. Like Kira, only the problem is the presence of personality rather than its total fucking absence.

My biggest complaint, however, is reserved for the variety of ways SEED:Destiny buggers up its good ideas. I’d have liked it a lot more if ‘Logos’ hadn’t actually been a thing. ‘Shadowy conspiracy doing [bad thing] from the shadows in the name of profit’ is the kind of message that gets slung around a lot in real life with no justification whatsoever and it really doesn’t help counter the people who do that if you hinge your plot on ‘no the Illuminati actually do have a giant laser on the moon.’ The cleverer and more cutting twist would have been to reveal there was no actual group called Logos and while the people Durandal named might have had interests in common, he was really just lumping them together for his own convenience.

You know. As scapegoats. Like the way this goes in reality, with the matters that this show is sticking its oar in and trying to Say Something about.

But no, because once more, this is a story interested in emotional reactions and personal epiphanies over any sort of systemic question because, well . . . that’s typical, isn’t it? Frustrating but not unexpected. Eureka Seven does nearly everything SEED/SEED:Destiny attempts better and that is hardly the first case of that happening with a Gundam show. Possibly this is just galling me more than usual because there are so many [swerves around the obvious pun] traces of a more interesting story here.

Oh well. Mu steadily getting his memories back was fun and I shall be taking the final epilogue to mean he, Murrue and Andrew settled down to a life of coffee-fueled polyamory. Yzak yeeting himself on to the right side of the final battle through sheer indignation was actually kind of funny. And I will give it credit, this did feel like one of the more meaningful ‘final battles to destroy a giant super-weapon’ out of the many, many times Gundam has done that (including in SEED, for gods’ sake). If nothing else, I appreciate the chutzpah of having Durandal rock up in an off-brand Death Star, right down to a recoloured Emperor’s chair.

Whatdyouknow. I actually did have something to say about this one. I think that just leaves Victory for main series I haven’t watched (I finished G Fighter; it was joyfully ridiculous). That probably won’t be changing any time soon. Ranking wise . . . SEED:Destiny probably sits around equal with 00 for me.

[444namesplus]

1* 2.6.2. 3 3B2 5.0i 5.1 5.53 7 15kg 17 20 22nd 26 50BMG 51 69 97 312 411 414 707 737 747 757 767 777 868 888 1071 1080H 1911 1984 1997 2600 3848 8182 $ & ^ ^? a ABC ACC Active ADIU advise advisors afsatcom AFSPC AHPCRC AIEWS AIMSX Aladdin Alica Alouette AMEMB Amherst AMW anarchy ANC Anonymous AOL ARC Archives Area51 argus Armani ARPA Artichoke ASIO ASIS ASLET assasinate Asset AT AT&T Atlas Audiotel Austin AVN b b9 B.D.M. Badger bank basement BATF BBE BECCA Becker beef Bess bet Beyond BfV BITNET black-bag Black-Ops Blackbird Blacklisted Blackmednet Blacknet Bletchley Blowfish Blowpipe BMDO BND Bob BOP BOSS botux BRLO Broadside Bubba bullion BVD BZ c Cable CANSLO Cap-Stun Capricorn card Case CATO CBM CBNRC CBOT CCC CCS CDA CDC CdC cdi Cell CESID CFC chaining chameleon Chan Chelsea Chicago Chobetsu chosen CIA CID CIDA CIM CIO CIS CISE Clandestine Class clone cocaine COCOT Coderpunks codes Cohiba Colonel Comirex Competitor Compsec Computer Connections Consul Consulting CONUS Cornflower Corporate Corporation COS COSMOS Counter counterintelligence Counterterrorism Covert Cowboy CQB CRA credit cryptanalysis crypto-anarchy CSE csystems CTP CTU CUD cybercash Cypherpunks d D-11 Daisy Data data data-haven DATTA DCJFTF Dead DEADBEEF debugging DefCon Defcon Defense Defensive Delta DERA DES DEVGRP DF DIA Dictionary Digicash disruption

DITSA DJC DOE Dolch domestic Domination DRA DREC DREO DSD DSS Duress DynCorp E911 e-cash E.O.D. E.T. EADA eavesdropping Echelon EDI EG&G Egret Electronic ELF Elvis Embassy Encryption encryption enigma EO EOD ESN Espionage espionage ETA eternity EUB Evaluation Event executive Exon explicit Face fangs Fax FBI FBIS FCIC FDM Fetish FINCEN finks Firewalls FIS fish fissionable FKS FLAME Flame Flashbangs FLETC Flintlock FLiR Flu FMS Force force Fort Forte fraud freedom Freeh froglegs FSB Ft. FX FXR Gamma Gap garbage Gates Gatt GCHQ GEO GEODSS GEOS Geraldton GGL GIGN Gist Global Glock GOE Goodwin Gorelick gorilla Gorizont government GPMG Gray grom Grove GRU GSA GSG-9 GSS gun Guppy H&K H.N.P. Hackers HAHO Halcon Halibut HALO Harvard hate havens HIC High Hillal HoHoCon Hollyhock Hope House HPCC HRT HTCIA humint Hutsul IACIS IB ICE ID IDEA IDF IDP illuminati imagery IMF Indigo industrial Information INFOSEC InfoSec Infowar Infrastructure Ingram INR INS Intelligence intelligence interception Internet Intiso Investigation Ionosphere IRIDF Iris IRS IS ISA ISACA ISI ISN ISS IW jack JANET Jasmine JAVA JICC jihad JITEM Juile Juiliett Keyhole keywords Kh-11 Kilderkin Kilo Kiwi KLM l0ck LABLINK Lacrosse Lebed LEETAC Leitrim Lexis-Nexis LF LLC loch lock Locks Loin Love LRTS LUK Lynch M5 M72750 M-14 M.P.R.I. Mac-10 Mace Macintosh Magazine mailbomb man Mantis market Masuda Mavricks Mayfly MCI MD2 MD4 MD5 MDA Meade Medco mega Menwith Merlin Meta-hackers MF MI5 MI6 MI-17 Middleman Military Minox MIT MITM MOD MOIS mol Mole Morwenstow Mossberg MP5k MP5K-SD MSCJ MSEE MSNBC MSW MYK NACSI NATIA National NATOA NAVWAN NAVWCWPNS NB NCCS NCSA Nerd News niche NIJ Nike NIMA ninja nitrate nkvd NOCS noise NORAD NRC NRL NRO NSA NSCT NSG NSP NSWC NTIS NTT Nuclear nuclear NVD OAU Offensive Oratory Ortega orthodox Oscor OSS OTP package Panama Park passwd Passwords Patel PBX PCS Peering PEM penrep Perl-RSA PFS PGP Phon-e phones PI picking

Pine pink Pixar PLA Planet-1 Platform Playboy plutonium POCSAG Police Porno Pornstars Posse PPP PPS president press-release Pretoria Priavacy primacord PRIME Propaganda Protection PSAC Pseudonyms Psyops PTT quiche r00t racal RAID rail Rand Rapid RCMP Reaction rebels Recce Red redheads Reflection remailers ReMOB Reno replay Retinal RFI rhost rhosts RIT RL rogue Rolm Ronco Roswell RSA RSP RUOP RX-7 S.A.I.C. S.E.T. S/Key SABC SACLANT SADF SADMS Salsa SAP SAR Sardine sardine SAS SASP SASR Satellite SBI SBIRS SBS SCIF screws Scully SDI SEAL Sears Secert secret Secure secure Security SEL SEMTEX SERT server Service SETA Sex SGC SGDN SGI SHA SHAPE Shayet-13 Shell shell SHF SIG SIGDASYS SIGDEV sigvoice siliconpimp SIN SIRC SISDE SISMI Skytel SL-1 SLI SLIP smuggle sneakers sniper snuffle SONANGOL SORO Soros SORT Speakeasy speedbump Spetznaz Sphinx spies Spoke Sponge spook Spyderco squib SRI ssa SSCI SSL stakeout Standford STARLAN Stego STEP Stephanie Steve Submarine subversives Sugar SUKLO SUN Sundevil supercomputer Surveillance SURVIAC SUSLO SVR SWAT sweep sweeping SWS Talent TDM. TDR TDYC Team Telex TELINT Templeton TEMPSET Terrorism Texas TEXTA. THAAD the Ti TIE Tie-fighter Time toad Tools top TOS Tower transfer TRD Trump TRW TSCI TSCM TUSA TWA UDT UHF UKUSA unclassified UNCPCJ Undercover Underground Unix unix UOP USACIL USAFA USCG USCODE USCOI USDOJ USP USSS UT/RUS utopia UTU UXO Uzi V veggie Verisign VHF Video Vinnell VIP Virii virtual virus VLSI VNET W3 Wackendude Wackenhutt Waihopai WANK Warfare Weekly White white Whitewater William WINGS wire Wireless words World WORM X XS4ALL Yakima Yobie York Yukon Zen zip zone ~

[sweetcloverheart]

Clover Rants Miraculously: Twice is a pattern... (Put under Readmore for spoilers)

I feel like the thing that bothers me about the whole “Lila and Kagami become friends so the former can turn the latter against Marinette because evil” isn’t that it isn’t a good storyline (Honestly, I’m kind of super interested in seeing what sort of dynamic they might develop through their new “friendship”) - it’s that they’ve done this with Lila like, two times already with “Chameleon” and “Ladybug”. I wanna see some new schemes from her - Where’s “Lila befriends Kagami to get an in with the rich people Illuminati/have a backup in case Gabemoth screws her over.”, or “Lila befriends Kagami because she thinks she’s friends with Ladybug and wants to learn her weaknesses” or “Lila befriends Kagami because she learns she was Adrien’s ex and wants to use her to get info on him so she can better mess with the Adrienette relationship/steal him from Marinette/get closer to him.” or even “Lila pretends to befriend Kagami because evil but then starts seeing they actually have a lot of similarities/share interests and accidentally becomes gay real friends with her”? (or maybe even “Kagami knows Lila’s trying to trick/use her to hurt Marinette and is pretending to go along with it so she can use her back because she knows she has a connection to Monarch/Hawkmoth and then also accidentally becomes gay real friends with her over unexpected similarities”)

I also, like a lot of people, feel like it’s...kind of a huge step back for Kagami’s character after all she’s been through in series and the development of her friendship with Marinette - especially when you consider how her whole breakdown in “Perfection” was related to her fearing she isn’t considered a good friend to her. Plus Kagami is established as someone who values truth (to the point she broke up with Adrien specifically because he wouldn’t be honest with her). Honestly, after what happened when she became Ryukomuri, she should have ended her friendship with Lila right then and there and would not have given her the second chance she did in “Protection” (Though considering her response to her in “Emotion”, she’s at least putting some distance in). Purposely putting the two together just so Kagami can get tricked/strung along by someone trying to take advantage of her (again) frankly seems just sort of...meanspirited to her whole character.

There’s also the whole thing about how she’s apparently now in love with Adrien again and is then going to be paired with his identical twin cousin yeah no problems there. I mean, similar to the Lila-friendship thing, I am sort of interested in seeing where they go with rekindling Adrigami (even onesidedly) - but it is kind of annoying that instead of either simply creating a new love rival (which frankly I can’t really recommend when the cast is already kind of bloated as is) or making use of the ones they still have like Chloe (Unless the crush ends after he ends their friendship - actually wait, is she still supposed to be in love with him after “Derrision”?), the show instead opted to shove Kagami back into her intro-phase role because apparently we simply can’t have her just move on from her old relationship and continue her friendship with Marinette, especially since Adrienette’s already canon anyway now that they’re dating - nah, let’s just make her a love rival again so she can act as a potential future Adrienette obstacle to give some semblance of romantic conflict. It’s like the writers ran out of idea of what to do with Kagami outside the Lila-friend plot, so they’re brought back the season 3 crush in the hopes of padding things out. And yeah, I know sometimes people fall back in love with old partners and feelings can’t be helped, but the fact that they did this so the story could (once again) have Kagami go full yandere and attack a girl over her possessiveness of Adrien, seems to be setting up some kind of pattern (or precedent) that I’m not really liking...

[thanksforthedinosaur]

august 2023

1. annie dirusso - hybrid 2. olivia barton - i don't do anything 3. shy martin - late night thoughts 4. tiny habits - hemenway 5. savana santos - messy 6. wallice - prepaid wireless 7. alix page - automatic 8. livia o - please don't hope for somebody better 9. leanna firestone - special 10. abby holliday - better by now 11. annika bennett - scared of getting what i want 12. lauren spencer smith - hey 13. grace gardner - acrobatics 14. julie byrne - portrait of a clear day 15. matilda mann - in plain sight 16. holly humberstone - room service 17. leith ross - too much time in my house alone 18. tessa violet - kitchen song 19. tommy lefroy - worst case kid 20. illuminati hotties - truck 21. emily vaughn - god complex 22. oston - hot 23. chloe george - runaway blue 24. tiffi - hoodie 25. madisenxoxo - mothership 26. sody - frozen lake 27. lyn lapid - poster boy 28. flowerovlove - coffee shop 29. forrest nolan - miss misery 30. sara kays - fireflies 31. ggwendolyn - my year of rest & relaxation 32. fizz - close one 33. deb never - say 34. palehound - eye on the bat 35. pynkie - plz 36. girlhouse - you don't think about me 37. dee holt - sober 38. king mala - sunny side up 39. syd b - focus 40. lauren sanderson - amen 41. hailey knox - charismatic 42. marian carmel - fabric of reality 43. moon tang - water comes out of my eyes 44. cassie marin - cup! 45. flo - 3 of us 46. alayna - who am i now 47. niko rubio - un millón de besos 48. cloudy june - you problem 49. maude latour - no rush 50. claud - a good thing 51. salem ilese - strongly worded letter 52. sorry - screaming in the rain again 53. jades goudreault - you're a star kid 54. maisie peters - you’re just a boy (and i’m kinda the man) 55. lølø - hot girls in hell 56. peach prc - favourite person 57. superfan - for you 58. tilly louise - baggy t-shirt 59. hannah cole - big bite 60. claire rosinkranz - screw time 61. spill tab - fetišh 62. suzie true - dumb 63. sundial - liar 64. meet me @ the altar - give it up 65. carr - dirty shoes 66. liza anne - rainbow sweater 67. sophia bel - 2am (and i did it again) 68. mimi webb - house on fire 69. helvetia - sideways 70. sedona - domino 71. jeromes dream - reminders to parallel 72. glass bones - pine overcoat 73. tsosis - snake eat tail 74. ivri - infinitesimal 75. 大���ゆい子 - ムスビメ 76. oohyo - teddy bear returns (summer edition) 77. minsu - buddy 78. youra - (throat) 79. hanbee - cushion 80. 김수영 kim suyoung - stumble 81. choi jungyoon - instant lover! 82. yebit - avec 83. hathaw9y - eclipse 84. shinee - gravity 85. layzi - idk 86. qveen herby - marie antoinette 87. almondmilkhunni - anxiety 88. jamila woods - tiny garden 89. madge - buttonss 90. poppy - knockoff 91. lizzo - pink 92. khalid - silver platter 93. tiffany day - should i be ok? 94. gabby's world - just for you to hear 95. patchymate - care 96. juliet ivy - lug 97. carol ades - free 98. tinashe - talk to me nice 99. reddish blu - humble me 100. vagabon - do your worst 101. kito - sticky 102. pinkpantheress - turn your phone off 103. charli xcx - speed drive 104. billie eilish - what was i made for? https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1f3MH87NHIo6qJU4zdztU4?si=77919b43299a4a62

[creepy-crowleys]

01 What is your muse’s sense of humour like? What’s their favourite joke? How do they react to humour from people around them? Can they laugh at themselves?

July Headcanons

((Crowley is a silly goose; she is easily won over by puns and wordplay, especially if she can goad someone into playing with her. She likes bad jokes and dad jokes in equal measure. :p

She also has a taste for darker, more deadpan jokes that mostly comes out in relation to her job, her employers, and the general horrors of her world - usually more as an avenue to relieve stress or to try to blunt any concerns others might have over the fact that things can get kind of really bad on her end! Because if you can laugh it off, it must not have gotten to you that much, right…?

I don’t know that she has a favorite joke in particular!

Crowley is delighted when people joke with her and she'll gladly return the favor or play along as needed.

Her usual laugh is pretty quiet and breathy - kind of a huff - but she'll bark if something tickles her just right or catches her off-guard (or sometimes when it's a little bitter), and she proper cackles when she's relaxed and comfortable enough.

She doesn't tend to like meaner-spirited jokes so much. As much as she likes to tease and as used as she is to Illuminati corporate culture, she doesn't particularly like 'jokes' that come off as cruel or kicking someone while they're down - even self-deprecative ones. She tries to check in frequently to make sure her own teasing isn't actually connecting with any sore spots and backs off quickly if she suspects that they are.

And she can laugh at herself to a degree! She knows that she is a silly person. But she might be more inclined to get flustered or frustrated with herself over (perceived) mistakes or screw-ups.))

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

I don't agree with everything this poster says, but I have to agree that whoever writes next for Wanda would have an easier time redeeming her if some of her villainous acts in DSMOM were toned down.

(Obviously, I wouldn't tone down the Illuminati attack. In fact, I'd just have 616 Wanda be there in person rather than be dreamwalking in her 838 counterpart's body. But Wanda mass knocking out the sorcerers at Kamar-Taj instead of killing them is something that'd be a lot easier for Wanda to come back from.)

Okay, first things first, the OP says Stephen was too quick to label her a villain? Ha! No, he wasn't. It's like some people watch the movie they want to see, not what's right there in front of them in the screen.

I do like the idea of knocking them out too but here's the thing: do we want the story to be about the Darkhold messing with Wanda's mind or not? Because I don't think we can have it both ways. You can fix this by showing her actively fighting against its power so that the book wants her to kill them but she doesn't... and for added angst let's have her lose control and murder them as she stands horrified at her own power.

That of course requires a redemption of sorts towards the end where it is made clear she found herself unable to fight the power of the Darkhold but she still chooses to hold herself accountable, or at the very least she apologizes for the pain and tries to help the sorcerers rebuild Kamar-Taj to atone for her crimes. Also another thing this solves is that Wanda doesn't need to die, she makes it out alive (I'm really not a fan of villains finding redemption through death, screw that).

What's for sure is that we can't have a story where the villain is corrupted off-screen, spends the entire movie (supposedly) acting out of her free will only to reach the end of the film and be told that no, it's the book that corrupted her - except the only thing that made her stop was seeing her kids terrified of her, we never see her break free of the Darkhold at any point, not even in the 3rd act. I swear this movie is so bad at times.... ugh.

[glapplebloom]

What’s so Civil about War anyway?

There are a lot of terrible comic book storylines. One of them happens to be the Civil War. You got Linkara’s video about 15 things wrong about Civil War and he brought up an interesting trivia about it: the creator believes that Iron Man’s side was the right side. So... Let’s ignore hindsight, the comic itself and presume that this is just a debate. Is the Superhuman Registration Act a good thing? Let’s see...

1 - What is the Superhuman Registration Act

So what does this thing even do? This information summary is based off the Marvel Wiki, so if anything is wrong please let me know. First, it requires all super-powered individuals to surrender their real names to the government. So if you got powers, the government, not the public, will know who you are. That way, they can monitor you via getting a license or even a job using said super powers. And said powered beings had to pass some criteria before they could use said powers for crime fighting. And while working for the government isn’t mandatory, it is an option.

2 - The Positives

Well, the biggest for me is that if you got powers useful for stopping crime, you got a job. All you gotta do is go to a training facility, pass some tests, and boom: you got an easy ticket to a paying job with the government. But what if you want to be a hero on your own terms? Well, by doing this licensing deal, you would have a legal license to do hero-ing. No more cops stopping you because they think you’re a menace. You can probably go on trial as the hero without worrying about having an identity revealed. You can get paid as the hero since you got a government licensed identity card so they could sign a check to Spider-man and he can cash it in as Spider-man. 

Another positive, training. No more “I got powers, I’m gonna be a hero! Whoops, blew up the bank” ala Carnage as a hero. They can know what to do, how to do it, maybe get a better understanding of their powers under proper controlled environments instead of on the field. And we know this idea could work out, My Hero Academia is the Superhuman Registration Act realized. Granted, better since you have to be of age to be part of it but still this should be what they had planned when coming up with it.

3 - The Negatives

The Government would have all the information. Said government that could be taken over by aliens, or mind controlled by an interdimensional tyrant, or found in the future by some conqueror going to the past, or maybe Norrin Osborn becomes president like Luthor did and gets access to it. Let’s face it, the government having all this information is a terrible idea. And while hindsight prevents me from showing examples of how bad it went, luckily for me there’s a What If Comic about the Civil War where without Ironman to lead the Pro-Reg side, the Government uses sentinels to kill all the heroes. 

Speaking of Sentinels, they screwed this up already since this is an evolution of the Mutant Registration Act. And we’ve seen how messed up the X-Men Storylines are. Right now they’re on their own continent, becoming their own nation and sniffing their own farts and I still don’t get how they represent minorities when other people get powers and they get treated like Celebrities. So it’s less hindsight and more “people who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

And as Linkara said, this act is only punishing those with powers who are doing good. Villains would still not register, would hide or escape, and even if they get put on a list they’re more likely to use any chance they got to escape prison, escape whatever de-powering device is on them and just get back to being a villain. 

4 - So who was right?

Ironically, Tony Stark. Prior to this Civil War, Iron man made a proposal for a variation of the Superhero Registration Act among the other members of the Illuminati. He saw what was going to happen to the letter: the big act that makes the government rush to release it, the split among those who support it and those who don’t. But if they support it before that moment, they could defuse it and possibly make changes. Iron man even proposed it years prior as having delegates among the Super Heroes to know what’s up and make a united front, a Registration Act controlled by the heroes for the heroes.

But since it didn’t happen, which side is on the right. Well, for me it’s the Anti-Registration Act. The Pro-Side has a lot of benefits, but the fact that the Government has access to everyone’s identity, when we had history of them taken over by evil beings in the past, and spoilers in the future too, is not the most trustworthy place. Heck, I don’t even trust the real world government to not change a lightbulb without spending more money on a military front. 

And that What if shows Tony’s idea prior to Civil War working: the Government won’t be the ones with access to such information: the Avengers would with Capt. America being the only one with access to everyone’s identity. They’ll have the most sophisticated security measure to protect him from mind manipulation or such things and he can handpick the person to carry the information if he dies. And positive, this is before Hydra Cap took over so win/win.

So in my book, it’s a good idea poorly executed. Training young heroes is a good idea. Having easy access to all the heroes to help a problem is a good idea. Having a Registration System so you can be a hero without getting the cops on your case because “you’re not part of the law” is a good idea. But letting the Government know your identity so when, not if, WHEN some evil person takes over and finds out all that juicy information you’re all in danger. But Captain America, that’s a guy I would trust. Be it Steve or Sam. 

[thisisnotapostlessblog-blog]

I mean, seriously, who would want that? You definitely never would've harvested all The Water from that river and put it into 2-day-dose vials and made people work an 18-hour shift in your mysterious factory just to be paid in a single dose of the stuff. You'd never dream of trying to take over the entire Illuminati base in your spare time, all the while taking another dose of magic water every few hours whenever you start to get a bit tired or something. As for the horse, well, everyone needs a freeloader friend, don't they? People are too fickle. That woman you used to think you loved left you when she found out you were "abusing" your workers (her words, not yours.) You cut off her supply of magic water right away and she died 49 hours later when it wore off. Good riddance, you figured. Not everyone deserves to be immortal anyways. It'd been a good 97 years before she grew a conscience.

You'll never admit it to yourself, but you didn't start out taking advantage of people. You used to be kind, back in the first 26 years before you found the fount of life and death. But something about that insane craving on the second day just changed you. You rationalize it, saying it made you "ambitious." You write books on how to manipulate people into believing you're their friend, but you call it "winning" friends. You write LinkedIn posts on how to turn a daughter's wedding into a business opportunity. You randomly text strangers to see if they'll buy some useless cryptocurrencies off of you just to add a little bit more to your trillion-dollar "nest egg."

You don't remember why you call it a nest egg. It never occurs to you that a 15-digit bank account's worth of money can be used, not just earned. You could give it away and let yourself die and give every American free healthcare for 200 years, but that would take away from the allure of your drug. After all, no one gets sick when they drink the magic water you hoarded. Well, not unless they stop drinking The Water but that would mean they stopped working for you, and why would they want to do that? After all, your workers are a family! Why couldn't that woman you used to call your wife see that? But you don't dwell on that, at least not for more than 15 minutes every hour. It's not even worth thinking about. She's dead anyways, and good riddance to her. You stop and say hi to Jed. He's been working for you for 228 years now and he still looks like he's 31. He's living the dream! You slip him an extra vial of The Water and tell him to take the weekend off. Enjoy himself. You don't take advantage of anyone! You keep them healthy, even approve a whole week of vacation for some of them when they deserve it. Advantage. Ha. You swing by and sit for a while with Tommy in the back room, where the boy is sorting screws. He got his first sip of The Water at age 7 when your wife's back was turned, but he's big enough to run the screw machine and sort whatever comes out of it by size. You tell yourself he's not mentally 7, just physically. You tell yourself that you're 100% certain that mentally he has 100% matured into an adult over the last 147 years. Just because he still calls you Daddy and occasionally (though less often over the last 50ish years) still wonders where Mommy is, doesn't mean that you're using child labor. No sir, he is 100% a consenting adult to whatever manual labor you make him do. You do show something of a soft spot though -- you've never withheld water from him for missing quota like you did to Sandra that one time 77 years ago. He's not a child, you tell yourself, but you know he's not an adult either. You add a vial of water to his fruit punch before you leave.

You're a perfectly loving father.

If you would’ve known that that stupid river was the fountain of youth, you never would’ve drank from it. That was 300 years ago. You’re permanently stuck at age 26. The only one you really have left in your life is your horse, who also made the mistake of drinking from it.