#ill try to get this baby out before new years but who fucking knows

[1980ssunflower]

kissing my husbands currently

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Rabid Logan is my new favorite logan

"Butterbean, please?" Wade begged.

"Fuck off," you groan, curling on the sofa and holding a pillow closer to your head. "It's just a migraine. I'm fine-"

"Totally fine, yeah." Wade frowned and mimed strangling you for a second. It had been 2 days. Yesterday you were having trouble with your vision and puking. Today you were hiding from the sun like a fucking vampire. And he had to go. He had work to do.

But in his head all he could see was your tiny 7-year-old self crying from the pain that no one else was taking seriously. But at least- at least Trigger was taking it seriously. Laying curled behind your legs with his head on your hip, he looked up at Wade like he wanted to know what to do.

"Fine," Wade said, "You won't go to the hospital? I'm gonna get you a baby sitter."

"I don't need-" But when you try to sit up and the movement makes your vision blur, you can't protest. All you can do is groan.

"Sure, shut up," Wade said pulling out his phone and taking a deep breath as he went through his contacts.

Vanessa- working Peter- pushover and working Al- just no. No. Love her but no Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. And Colossus would just fall through your fucking floor IF he could fit through the door way.

"Damn it," he hissed, dialing the last number he had. The last person he'd willingly hand you over to.

"What?" Logan growled.

"Hey, Peanut," Wade said, kicking a wastebasket closer to you as you lean over the couch to puke again. "Need a favor."

"No."

"Listen," Wade said, "I gotta go. Now. And my sweet angel baby sister has a migraine from hell and refuses to go to the hospital to get checked out. So I need somebody who can babysit and force her to go if the meds don't do what they're supposed to in... oh, 12 hours?"

Over the phone he can hear boots hit the floor and he exhales slowly. "Fine," Logan said.

"Thanks, Peanut. Hands to yourself. I gotta go. Duty calls." He hung up the phone and stroked your hair, moving the pillow just enough to kiss your cheek. "I gotta go, sweetie. Logan will be here pretty quick."

"I'm fine-"

"Totally fine," he agreed. "You just look like you're dying and threw up water for dramatic effect." He tutted and tucked the blanket around you before stopping to pet Trigger and slip out the door.

_________________

Logan slipped into the apartment and regarded the dog, who was watching him. The growls were low warning growls. His mistress was ill, but he wasn't. And he could smell vomit that was mostly bile and water. Old clothes and sweat. He shook his head.

This didn't look or feel like your apartment. Too dark and quiet. No warmth. And seeing you so still and clutching a pillow to your head made him wince. "Hey, kid," he said softly, walking slowly towards you. "You alseep?"

"No," you answer, your voice muffled. "Beer's in the fridge if-"

"Thanks," he answered. "You thirsty? Need food?"

"My head's not really happy with moving."

Logan moved the trash can and knelt next to the sofa, "Cold water on an empty stomach is a bad idea," he said. "Got anything else?"

"Lo, you don't have to do this," you murmur. "I'll be okay. It happens. Just not this long."

"What else have I got to do?" Logan said shrugging. "I'm 200 years old and I know a few things. Pretty sure we can get you through it."

"There's some electrolyte drink mixes in the cupboard above the coffee pot," you answer, breaking off with a groan when your head throbs.

Logan nods and squeezes your shoulder gently, "I'll figure it out, as long as you don't mind me going through your kitchen."

"Help yourself," you answer. "If you find jerky in the fridge don't eat it. It's Trigger's and he holds grudges."

[robbinghisdick]

"Good afternoon, baby boy!" Wade cheerily greets, swinging himself over the back of the couch and dropping himself hard into Logan's lap. The older man grunts slightly, but doesn't push Wade off as the man pulls up his mask just enough to plant an exaggerated kiss on his cheek. "Where have you been all day?"

Now that he had gotten a good look at Logan's face... something was off.

Logan was quiet for a moment, considering. "Well, you know how I've been feeling sick lately?" He asked. Pain was nothing new for him. The weight of his bones and poison from the adamantium made sure to keep his body in some level of pain. One thing his healing factor prevented was illness. If he managed to get sick, he didn't stay sick for very long.

"Yeah and I said, "you should get that checked out" and you grumbled and whined like a dog being taken to the vet?"

Logan rolled his eyes and continued, "Well, turns out I'm pregnant."

It was one of those rare times Wade was rendered silent. The mask also made it annoyingly impossible to get a good read on his face.

Wade, meanwhile, was trying to gauge whether or not this was a good thing. Logan didn't seem particularly happy.

"How the fuck did we manage that?" Wade asked. "I mean, it's not like my cancer ridden body makes healthy little swimmers and you said the adamantium poisoning rendered you infertile."

"According to the doc, unless I literally don't have a uterus, there's always a freak chance," Logan sighed, leaning heavily back into the couch and running his hands over his face. "It doesn't matter either way. We can't have a baby."

Logan waited to see if Wade would agree or disagree with him. He found himself half tempted to rip the mask off so he could get a better read on him.

Who's to say the baby would even make it to term, and what then if it did? Have two dads who's lives were marked by death and tragedy? Two guys with a list of enemies a mile long and would target a kid without thinking twice? Their lives were messy and dangerous, they couldn't bring a kid into that.

There were a million reasons why they shouldn't bring a baby into the world, but that was all too much weight for Wade. "I mean, you're right, but like, what if it develops the wolverine claws in the womb and bursts out of your stomach alien-style? That'd be kinda cool."

Logan's nose crinkled in disgust, nearly shuddering at that mental image. "That's horrific, thanks."

Wade just grinned, cupping Logan's face with both hands and kissing him.

"But seriously, whatever you think is best."

...

Later that night, Logan stared up at the ceiling fan, the blade whirling at full blast because Wade insisted on snuggling despite how hot both of them ran. He was splayed out like the world's most clingy starfish, head on Logan's chest. It was clear he was still awake too as one of his fingers idly tracing over Logan's arm. This quiet, domestic routine had become the norm.

When Logan thought about it, they were truly in a better place than they had ever been before. Logan had a home and family. The mansion was a home, but this one was his. One he chose to share with Wade. He had friends who loved him, a partner that stuck with him no matter how grumpy he got. Hell, he wasn't even drinking or smoking as much as he used to.

There were still battles and hardships, but never before had there been such a strong sense of support and community.

Logan was... happy.

"Wade?"

"Hm?"

"I..." he trailed off, unsure. "I think I actually want to have the baby." He couldn't particularly explain it. For years he fought against being put in a fatherly role when it came to all the young mutants he had met and looked after. Somehow, though, the thought of going on that journey of parenthood with Wade actually seemed kind of exciting. He loved that man more than he'd ever be able to put into words.

Wade sat up so fast it made Logan flinch.

"Oh thank FUCK!" He exclaimed, reaching over and turning on the bedside lamp while he straddled Logan's lap. His eyes pratically sparkled as he looked down at Logan. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," Logan stared back up, surprised. "Wait, you wanted to keep the baby?"

"Of COURSE I want to have a little baby wolverine with you!" Wade waved his hands as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Like, yeah I think we're probably not the best parent material in the world and Jesus the CHRIST is it terrifying, but I wanna be dad."

"Why the fuck did you not say anything earlier?!"

"I'm not the one carrying it!" Wade shot back. "Besides, I never thought I'd have kids anyways, so not exactly a deal breaker, sweetheart." He patted Logan on the cheek. "Also, you know how many orphaned and abandoned mutants we run into? We always had a chance. If only Laura were younger, coulda started there."

Laura was an adult by the time Wade came into Logan's as a romantic partner. She was still young, but not a kid that needed parents to look after her.

"So... we're gonna have a baby?" Wade asked, a grin on his face.

"We're gonna have a baby."

Wade surged forward to kiss Logan, enthusiasm rubbing off on him as he smiled against Wade's lips. His face was peppered with more kisses and whispered "God I love you so much."

When Wade calmed down a fraction, Logan had to bring him down a bit more. "I'm only a few months along, we don't know if the baby will even make it," he reminded him. So many things could go wrong it was terrifying.

"Nope! This little guy--gender neutral--is a little fighter!" Wade insisted, hand splaying over Logan's stomach. They're gonna make it and be beautiful, and then we get to name them something cool!"

Logan scoffed but couldn't keep the smile off his face. "We're not naming the baby after any of your cartoons."

"You are absolutely no fun," Wade pouted. "I'll sneak something by ya."

Logan just pulled Wade down into another kiss to shut him up.

...

((They name her Allura, from Voltron lmao.

Writing this has made me incredibly sad for reasons I'll say if asked, but decided not to say so y'all don't just get randomly sucker punched.

This is NOT movieverse, exactly, but just a vague timeline. Movieverse poolverine end up with the kid tho. Which you can read here.

ALSO YES I KNOW THIS IS THE 3RD BABY AU ON THIS ACCOUNT. I have problem. I don't even want kids 😭))

[localwhoore]

can you stupid ass pick me lando fans STOP trying to “noooo his names not acccctually lando norris its ackshually bob!!1!!1!1!! we have to gaaatekeep guyysssuhhh the 😡NEWGENS😡 are gonna take overrruhhhhh he wont be ours anymoooorreeeeee” KILL YOURSELF DUDE HES A CELEBRITY ITS NOT THAT FUCKING DEEP DONT ACT AS IF YOU DIDNT GET INTO F1 BY WATCHING A LANDO EDIT THAT GUESS WHAT THE PEOPLE DIDNT GATEKEEP SO FUCK OFF

“here as proof i was a lando girly before chicken shop date!” YOU GUYS WANTED HIM ON THE SHOW AND NOW YOURE COMPLAINING THAT HE IS AND WHINING AND CRYING AND FUCKING SNOBBLING ALL OVER YOUR SCREEN BECAUSE HE WAS IN AN INTERVIEW THAT YOU VOTED FOR HIM TO BE IN BECAUSE SOME OTHER FANS ARE GONNA SEE HIM MORE THAN YOU?? WAAAH WAAAAH CRY ABOUT IT NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FLICKERING FLOATING FUCK ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU SCREAM AND COMPLAIN IN COMMENT SECTIONS IT AINT GONNA DO JACK SHIT YOU FUCKING PICK ME WANNABE WAG BITCH

“oh my god is already happeneing…. theyre finding out abt him!!! gatekeep gatekeep” YOURE BUILT LIKE A GATE YOU FUCKING NOLIFER ACTUALLY TOUCH SOME GRASS YOU CRAZY ASS INCEL 💀💀 OFC PEOPLE ARE BOUND TO FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE HES FUCKING FAMOUS DUDE AND OBVIOUSLY YOU FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE IF YOURE TRYNA GATEKEEP HIM RIGHT? RIGHT??

no joke i saw a comment reply to someone saying hes cute but doesnt know who he is scream and cry and whine and BITCH AND MOAN that “noooo hes ours for the f1 community only xx 💖💖🥰🥰” Hes not going to date you. You’re probably ugly as dogshit that someone stepped on irl.

AND THEN WHEN SOMEONE TOLD THEM TO DROP IT BECAUSE THEY AINT GONNA DATE HIM THEY SAID SOME STUPID ASS SHIT LIKE “well you dont know how i feel so strongly abt him he needs to be protected from the new fans!! xx 🙄” what the fuck ?? are u mentally ill? are u fucking crazy? did you get dropped on your head as a baby down a flight of stairs?

And before ANY of u come after me saying “oh my gawd u probably got into f1 through a lando edit too don’t even 🙄🤪ur js like us” NO i did not ive known abt ts since i was THREE YEARS OF AGE ANDDD DOOOONT PULL UP W SOME “yeah ur probably a charles fan instead then average female fan” im an oscar and yuki and zhou defender go fuck yourself with your lando themed dildo cz he aint want u and thats the closest ur shit ass is gonna get

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Just saw your post about demon trio GAAAHH they are my Roman Empire. The moment when Mouse approached Bad when he was brain resetting in a little patch of flowers he placed down, how close they shifted to each other, it felt so ALIEN and and and cool and I’m so NORMALLL. And when Tina splashed herself with perfume and when she had that role play moment when (idk if it was canon or a character) she was SO OBSESSED with going to heaven, I think she was born a demon, and SOMEHOW acquired religious trauma along the line probably as a child. Born a demon left at an orphanage door idk and they made all the kids go to church or something and Tina was OBSESSED because it gave order and meaning to her life but she was a demon and-

Ok right questions. Sorry, gah I love demon trio. I need an arc where Mouse and Bad get together and try to help Tina. Love how Bad hides the fact he’s a demon not because he hates himself for it (maybe a little) but because he’s a recognizable wanted fucking criminal. Where was I going with this again?

Do you have any thoughts on them? ;v; (sorry for rambling in the ask D: )

AAAA I LOVE LONG ASKS LIKE THIS

okay i TOTALLY agree with you have so many thoughts, i was literally just thinking the same thing last night!!! The absolute difference in upbringing as far as the demons really shows in how they act and i have sooooo so many thoughts about it!!!

So first off, i dont really know how old mouse is in terms of her lore but as far as BBH is concerned hes fucking weird and is constantly alluding to his existence extended FAR before the universe even existed, hell even time and space, we dont actually know what the fuck his deal in full is actually!!! What we do know is he was summoned to Earth roughly eleven to fourteen thousand years ago!

Mouse gives us not as much age-wise from what ive heard but she has expressed that she considers two thousand year olds to be "baby" not quite baby but like VERY young! (I have a personal HC that bad's summoning let loose a new age of demons, maybe not all at once but very quickly so mouse would probably be over ten thousand years old)

Tina gives us absolutely NOTHING she doesnt like talking about her demon ancestry aside from hiding it (when bagi said mouse taught her how to smell demons tina quickly panicked and doused herself in perfume, etc etc. nothing super explicit from what ive seen but im relatively new to her lore). But i personally have a hc that shes roughly three thousand years old, coming into existence around the Middle Ages in 1000 CE. That might seem extremely young but honestly thats what im going for for her!!! super extremely young!!! and born around the time when Catholicism was popular!

In my mind, they all have very much different reasons for acting the way they do and im soooooo ill about it

As a BBH main i have the most information on him so ill be talking about the lore i know from him first before getting into the other two lovely ladies!! So what we've heard from BBH is that he prefers to "hide" his demonic features and "blend in" with humans as much as possible if he can, obviously he doesnt do very good at this but hes old as shit and very powerful so like who's gonna tell him??? From what we've heard of his lore, Bad is the cause of a LOT of minor and major disasters in history; Mt Vesuvius (who he named after a dead lover) exploding, the plague taking out most of europe (which he was a plague doctor for), and alongside other major things theres some minor events as well! Small wars he's been present in such as the HG war he was in with cellbit very recently, various other wars he eluded to that he recalled "blended together" because there were so many, that time he went to medical school for 15 minutes just to do brain surgery on that president on a boat.... he also knows a lot of major historical figures and hes been EVERYWHERE, we actually have a rough timeline of where he's been and when just based on who he knows. He knew not only the fucking guy who created the study of viruses, HIS ASS KNOWS ISAAC NEWTON..... and i think once he alluded to knowing goddamn adam and eve, maybe even being the snake in the goddamn garden. Considering its cannon to his lore that he was the angel locked beneath the euphrates river i wouldnt be surprised at that point.

All this to say: Bad has been present for and had an active hand in a LOT of major and minor disastrous historical events, and hes repeatedly talked about how people would chase him with torches and pitchforks - even referring to that activity as "therapy" and said thats the reason he doesnt believe in therapy, because it hurts and doesnt do anything for him except get him running.

Bad does not personally feel shame about his demonic features, he's used to hiding them (or at least intending to.... hes doing a bad job at it) for his own personal safety, because his role as >>>>A) a demon and B) the fucking ferryman of death<<<< brings him a LOT of negative attention. Negative attention that he's had to deal with ALONE for a majority of his existence, up until about fourteen thousand years ago.** (**A major event i feel caused a new era of Demons, we will talk about it more through the post)

Moving on to Mouse; i mention bad's role as a demon having an affect on negative things around him because i honestly think that applies to all or most demons. I don't know much about mouse's lore, but i do know shes proud of her heritage to some degree, is unashamed to tell people shes a demon, and will even actively teach people things about her species (Bringing back Bagi again - We know in cannon Demons smell like Sulfur, its been stated pomme and dapper and bad and mouse and tina all smell like it, and we can assume empanada also does or is starting to).

I, to some degree, think the beginning of her existence was much more accepting and inviting, while bad dealt with his negative experiences alone, and tina had her own upbringing we'll get into, Mouse came into existence during a "Dark" age, when bad was summoned to earth there was a wave of the newest generation of demons being spawned into this world(not in a "father of all demons" way but more in a "large expressions of magic often lead to a ripple affect of more magic" way). A lot of shit probably happened, im not insane like badboyhalo im not gonna research what happened but theres probably some kinda major event that happened. Demons born around that era probably had some kind of support system or way of existing that was underground enough for them to not be wiped out, but they had enough freedoms that mouse and others probably felt comfortable enough to express demonic traits.

I like to think this was the era of her life that had the most influence over her existence, that she was created with pride and will ALWAYS have that pride in her species, it may be dampened but it will never go away fully!*

*I like to think shes experienced maybe some shame over her species when it comes to minor historical events that shes contributed to by just being present, but it very rarely lasts longer than the event itself.

Tina, as far as im concerned, is the youngest of the demon trio aside from their kids. I kinda write her akin to Amethyst from SU, her existence was very recent and she was alone with very little or no initial support system, she was brought up thinking she was "wrong" in some way, her teeth and nails were too sharp, and she has horns and sometimes her skin has a purpleish hue to it that make other people think theres something wrong with her. She has a VERY obviously christian/catholic upbringing which was brought to light recently in one of her conversations with foolish. She's always felt shame about her species and she probably would have continued if it wasnt for mouse and bad, but ESPECIALLY if it wasnt for Empanada.

I have my own thoughts on the demon babies that we'll get into later, but after gaining her daughter who is very much going to be a demon (two demon parents, obvious demon child lol) i cant help but wonder how tina's planning on pushing aside her feelings of shame to make Empanada feel welcomed and loved regardless of her species?

Tina's very young, of course shes seen some major events in history but shes never been raised in community, she probably didnt even know thats just something that comes with the horns until very recently! I can imagine bad and mouse joking and giggling about that town that they stayed the night in that caught fire the next day that they got chased out of a couple hundred years ago, and i can imagine tina being confused as to why they found that amusing, is that normal? Tina's always had minor disasters follow her, her home town very likely burned down or got sick following or preceding a major milestone in her life, and thats probably continued to happen over the thousands of years shes been alive! Being a demon brought up in a very anti-demon environment, whos to say she even knew there were other demons out there really? She was a curse from god, she brought nothing but poor luck and sickness to her household (which i agree with you she was probably residing in an orphanage), she brought it everywhere she went. I cant help but ask myself "did she feel relief that it wasnt just her, or even more shame finding out this is a common occurrence for demons?"

Now thats most of what i have regarding the parents but i have a few notes on the demon kids. I think all the eggs have some sort of demonic features, obviously bads a huge influence on all of them and they care about him as their tia so i draw most of the babies with horns and tails of some kind, but i am particularly focusing on Dapper, Pomme and Empanada, the three demon babies whos actual official parents are the demons.

I dont have anything too specific for them, but i do believe they will grow up to have an attitude towards their species akin to how Mouse acts.

Unlike other demons or even their parents growing up, they have a support system and parents to explain to them things that will happen to them as they get older! They'll have someone to come back to, who will explain "Yes, that village got the plague because you walked through it and the sulfur you spread supernaturally brought illness and bad luck. No, its not your fault in particular. No, you shouldn't stop going into towns and villages, its the 21st century and if they cant stop the plague by now then they were gonna die anyway"

When they inevitably get shunned by humans for their species, they have someone to come back to to let them know that that wasnt right, but its a part of what happens to people like us. Maybe some day we wont have to experience that anymore, but right now the most important thing is to not get caught, and come home to your Mama so we can give you bandaids for your knees and treat your wounds.

I'm so very invested in how the demon babies will be brought up by their parents, i hope we get more demon lore in the future </3

This turned into an essay, hope thats alright njkbhjvgchfg i have so many thoughts on them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[idontplaytrack]

Janis ‘Imi’ike x burnt out troubled kid reader where readers parents kick them out again and reader doesn’t want to come to their friends with their troubles so they try to stay away from everyone.

Be Alright

Janis ‘Imi’ike x gn! reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, some coarse language, underage drinking + driving, implied depression, mentions of death due to illness

In which, reader is way too independent and doesn’t like asking for help. Even when they really need it

“y/n, talk to me.”

“No. I’m fine. I’m just tired, I slept at 3a.m. last night.”

You hung up on Janis, tossing your phone aside and just closed your eyes.

~~~~~

“Hey, I haven’t seen you at school today. What’s going on?”

“Uh, I— I have the flu so I’m at home.” You admitted painfully.

“Oh, I’ll be by soon with some soup.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I’ll be there very soon.”

~~~~~

“Hey.” Janis nudged you from the back and you got startled awake.

“What time did you get to sleep last night?” She asks, you rested your head on folded arms.

“I don’t know.” You answered incoherently, “4?”

“What?”

“I don’t know the exact time okay? I drank last night.”

~~~~~

Your Mom has just picked you up from the police station after you arrested for drinking and driving. It was just after 3a.m.— you were tired, so was she. She was angry and so were you. The tension was high and even in your state, you could see that she’s had it with you.

“y/n, this is the third time this has happened.” She sighs while pulling up in the driveway of your house, “I’m sick of bailing you out of these things all the time. What is it with you? Why do you always get yourself in such situations?”

You didn’t say anything but just got out of the car. “I’m afraid I’m gonna have to kick you out. Until you show that you’re actually going to change for the better instead of harming yourself all the time. Your grades are slipping, you barely sleep, you skip school so often. Why?”

“Fuck it.”

Your Mom takes a deep breath, biting the inside of her cheek. She was about to ask you to talk about everything that was bothering you but then she just…“Yeah, okay. Fuck it!” Your Mom yelled back, “Pack up and leave, right now.”

Holding back tears, you ran into the house to pack a bag. Your stepfather stops you when he saw you running up the stairs to asked you what happened but you just ignored him, swallowing the tears. After hastily putting as much as you could into your backpack, you left the house without saying a word to either of your parents.

You made your way to Janis’, angry, terrified and heartbroken. Stepping onto her porch, you rang the doorbell. You saw a shadow in the window of Janis’ room— she was awake. Then, it disappeared before the front door swung open and you came face to face with her. “y/n.” She was shocked to see you like this— red-faced, unkempt, teary-eyed. “Come in, baby.”

You followed her lead up to her bedroom quietly. You sat down on her bed and she shuts the door behind herself. “What happened?” She asked gently, pulling her desk chair up to sit before you.

“My Mom kicked me out. Said she was done with me getting into trouble.” You told her curtly.

“Did you drink again?” She asks you hesitantly. You look at her and tried not to roll your eyes but eventually admitted that you had indeed been drinking— and driving. That was your final strike.

“I just miss my Dad, Jan.” You revealed, you couldn’t help it but sniffle.

Your Dad— not your stepfather. The guy who was your biggest role model and cheerleader — the guy who promised that he’d always be there for you. He had passed away nearly a year ago to an aggressive form of cancer.

“How could he just—” You choked on a sob, head buried in your hands. Janis grabs your hands, her thumbs stroking your knuckles. You shook your head, as if to get rid of the thoughts. “I just— I miss him so much, and my Mom— it’s like she doesn’t even care anymore. All she cares about is her new guy.”

Janis knew. Deep down, she just knew you wouldn’t just act out for the heck of it. You did it because you wanted your Mom’s attention- her love and care. Which she has failed to give you ever since she started dating three months after your Dad passed. You flat out started refusing to talk to her about anything other than stupid stuff like the weather and the time. She’d ask how you were doing, and you just dismissively said you were okay— even on days that you weren’t. Janis knew it. But she didn’t want to push you. She was scared to push you too hard and break you even more. Janis has been trying to help you in any way she could, without you even asking. You appreciated her for it, but lately, you haven’t been showing it really well.

She got into bed with you, holding you in her arms. “You’ll be alright.” She whispers, rubbing your back, “This, I promise you. I will help you with anything you need in order to get better again. Right now, ignore your Mom and the new guy. What you need to do is focus on yourself. Finding healthy ways to cope. I know you’re feeling frustrated and angry because your Dad left so suddenly. But you know that he would never leave you if he could choose. He loves you. That’ll never change. But right now, your own life is in your hands. How you choose to live every day…are you just gonna desperately try to get your Mom to notice you all while harming your own health or are you going to live your best life, the life you’re supposed to live and continue making your Dad proud? I know for a fact that he is so proud of you— I could see it. Okay? There is no doubt in that.”

You listened to her while you laid your head in her chest, one arm around her and your other hand naturally rested on her chest near her torso. “It’s so hard.”

“I know, bubba.” Janis presses a kiss to the top of your head, “But I know I’ll go through all of it with you, just as I have been, alright? You can always come to me— for anything. I mean it, y/n. Anything.”

You nod wordlessly.

“I want you to promise me.” She added on, stroking your hair.

You locked eyes with her, taking in a deep breath, “I promise.”

“Right now, what I want you to do…is get some sleep. Think you can do that? I’ll be right here cuddling you.”

You hummed, “Yeah.”

“Good.” Janis continues stroking your hair, then went smoothly down your back, “Close your eyes. Sleep tight, y/n.”

[cloveroctobers]

black mascara — EZ REYES

A|N: in honor of the season 5 trailer, I had to write a little something. This one will actually be small since I don’t have too much to go off of in writing this but I can’t lie and say I’m not a little fired up! So get comfy.

GIF BELONGS to: @dailymayans

·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆·

“See that crave for power…that’s seeping through your pores is exactly what’s gonna get you killed, Ezekiel.”

“…if that happens to be the case, I hope they know their prayers well because I’ll still be here from beyond the grave.”

She did not know this person that she sat face to face with. She didn’t even know what that statement means. Majority of the time Hadiza kept out of The Mayans business, despite the fact that her older brother Franky interacted with them from time to time. She knew Ezekiel way before he decided to join the club and although she’s seen the Mayans around town, she didn’t have much of a opinion when the man first brought the idea to the table a week before his release.

Now she wished she would have.

Back then she trusted that Ez knew what he was doing.

This Ezekiel was not the man she used to know.

Hadiza had a feeling this would happen, that as soon as Ezekiel got into the president’s chair, a whole new level of danger would be unleashed. She saw the shift in Ezekiel throughout his time in the charter happen gradually, that her worries started to keep her up at night. The lack of sleep even proposed her to talk to Felipe about it, who simply listened and still had faith in his baby boy until Gabby came around.

Which was kinda foul the longer she thought about it. Was her word really not good enough when she’s been around? She’ll have to take that up with Felipe at a later time, respectfully.

She’s known Ezekiel since high school…it’s been years since they stepped into their adulthood. However a good portion of Ezekiel’s youth was ripped away from him the night his mother died.

Yes people change…but not like this.

Hadiza was beginning to think that a piece of Ezekiel died with his mother that day but what could she say about him now? So much has happened since then and He wasn’t the same—sure it was foolish to think that he would be completely healed from that tragedy but the light in his pretty honey eyes, did not reflect what was beyond them or what was on the outside.

“So that’s it then,” she raised her shoulders, “you’re gonna waste your life away for reckless shit? You’re better than this Ezekiel.”

“What do you exactly expect me to do? This is the duty that I’ve strived for. And you’re looking at me as if we didn’t know it would always end up being this way. I know you didn’t think this shit was rainbows and daisies, you’re much smarter than gabby in that sense.” Ezekiel bit, yanking a cigarette from his pocket.

Hadiza shook her head, “speaking ill of the dead…somebody that you killed and claimed to love like she was just nothing to you. I’m not feeling this. Or you.”

“There’s the door, fucking use it,” Ezekiel flared his nostrils as he pointed at the exit, “you’re the one who came here trying to preach to me what I’ve already heard. And what I’ve told myself before back when I was weak. What? you thought shit was gonna change because it’s coming from you? I’ve got to be smarter than that, especially when it comes to the club and nothing you can say to me right now…matters.”

“Then what does, motherfucker?!” She was on her feet now, “greed? Selfishness? No wait. I got it, your ego.”

The man lifted his shoulders, not needing to say anything more or seemed to be the least bit phased by the irritation that was showing in his long-time friend’s frame.

“Going after the sons—

“I don’t want to hear it.” Ez glared, “I’ve seen enough wars to not fear a damn thing. Don’t you ever question: Where does fear get you, diza? Look in the mirror. Everybody pays a price with the cards they’ve been dealt.”

The woman chewed down on her bottom lip in annoyance, “and just how much are you willing to lose?”

“That’s something I’ve got to reflect on in my own time…but you’re here.” Ezekiel kept his eyes trained on the woman, puffing on his cigarette.

Before Hadiza could lose the courage she said, “Fuck your subliminal and fuck you.”

“We’ve already done that, remember? With Sofia watching in the background. I think the message then was very clear and something you should thank me for.”

That was so low and disrespectful, considering that Hadiza had a moment and went to someone who she thought cared about her well-being. At that time she just received the news that her fiancé wanted to break off the engagement after cheating on her with a co-worker and the first person she went to was Ezekiel. He was the first person she thought about and felt complete with—a mistake on her end, sure but she wasn’t expecting him to have company other than Sally.

The smirk that was on his lips was smacked right off by her hand. However that did not stop Ez from yanking on her wrist and getting into her face.

Anyone was fair game at this point.

This she knew deep down.

He could end it all, right here in this trailer.

What made her any different?

Did he even love her anymore? Or was she just another ploy in the way Ezekiel floated around life now? Hadiza was not part of the club so why was she becoming collateral damage?

“You don’t get to come here and think our friendship and reminiscing about the old times, or guilt trip me about Gabby, would stop me or save me from myself. That’s not your job, never was amor. Sorry I couldn’t live in your fantasy of being a good ol’ friend to you anymore. But that’s life, so either continue standing by and keep your mouth shut or take a walk and don’t look back.” Ezekiel gritted into her face and that hurt more than him squeezing her wrist.

The black ink dripped down her brown cheeks as she hissed, “you’re done to me.”

And this she hoped she meant. She couldn’t stick around and she knew Ezekiel was pushing her to do so but ultimately it was her choice. Her eyes stung from the makeup as she clenched them closed, fighting away the memories of their teenage years: watching Ezekiel love Emily, having intense debates over literature in class and outside of, him being there for her first heartbreak and attempting to get angel to drive him to the asshole who broke her heart house to egg it and piss on their front doorstep, to Marisol Reyes encouraging her to keep loving her son the best way that she knew how…

“Good,” Ezekiel breathed into her face, shoving her fist back down her by her sides.

He broke eye contact after awhile since she no longer had any words for him. He placed the cigarette back to his lips as he slouched back on the couch. Hadiza swiped the mascara from the bags underneath her eyes, deeply inhaling and battled with herself on what to do or say.

The words fell empty just like the relationship she once had with the man she called her best friend.

She sniffed as she snatched up her bag, making sure she had her keys before she took her exit. The door to the trailer opened on her way, revealing Sofia who easily picked up on the tension in the home. Her dark eyes shifted between the pair but Hadiza patiently waited for the wavy haired woman to get out of her way.

Ez pressed his elbows into his knees as he grunted, “What is it, Sofia?”

If Hadiza continued to be foolish she would have tried to believe that the tone of his voice was telling her something, besides him being an asshole. That perhaps he didn’t truly want their friendship to end but that’s the difference between the two, she didn’t have to be selfish.

“Um, you’ve some company. Bishop and Tranq are outside.” Sofia informed as she stepped into the trailer with Sally.

Ez quickly got to his feet, putting his cigarette out in a nearby ashtray and brushed his shoulder by Hadiza as he left the trailer. Sofia easily picked up on the woman taking a sharp breath at his actions but didn’t speak on it.

It didn’t take the most intelligent person to understand that something transpired between the two. Their relationship didn’t threaten what she had with EZ and in a way, Sofia actually thought it was beautiful. How their relationship didn’t appear to be transactional or circumstantial. How simply being next to each other was enough for them. Or it used to be. Yet Sofia wasn’t naïve to think that it would last with the new propositions EZ took on.

Sometimes that’s just the way life worked out and the sooner Hadiza figured that out…maybe she could protect her heart a bit better.

It was a little awkward as Hadiza had to collect herself, hand on the trailer’s door before she went outside. Sofia wasn’t one for words and she wasn’t sure anything she could say would provide comfort for Hadiza either. After what happened right here in this trailer, weeks ago, it’s not like the two had the chance to really talk about it.

They didn’t have to but it seemed like Hadiza always had a lot on her mind.

Thankfully for Sofia, Hadiza pushed the door open, not sparing her a glance, either placing herself on autopilot or trying her best to ignore her presence—it didn’t bother Sofia one way or another as Hadiza left the home.

“See you around then,” Sofia muttered, taking a seat on the couch, after the door clicked shut behind Hadiza.

Her long legs kicked up the dirt as she passed by the group of men on the side. She couldn’t get away from the place fast enough, feeling her heart being squeezed with each step she took.

“Hey,” Tranq started to call out to the woman but it was almost as if she heard nothing while she shoved herself into her car.

Bishop’s eyes were back on EZ as his eyes briefly burned into Hadiza’s retreating form. He just knew the Reyes brother fucked that up and it’s a shame because he was fond of the girl, despite her having a connection to a pig. Of course he never fully trusted her (by no fault of her own) but she was kind enough whenever she rarely showed up to club.

He kept it silent but he knew his body language did enough talking for him as EZ focused back on him.

“Tonight is the night, round everybody up.” Ez ordered, stalking off and daring a glance at Hadiza’s car and over his shoulder as he stood on the steps of his trailer, while she backed off the lot and sped away, eyes solely on what was in front of her and not what was left behind in the rear view.

Ez swallows down the small lump that wants to form in his throat but that wasn’t important right now. He had other things to tend to and Hadiza was no longer one of them.

Instead of running back, she ran to her mother’s arms who was less than thrilled to see her baby this upset over a man who she trusted to be good to her child.

Later Hadiza found herself in her mother’s hands again when she received the devastating but expected news from Angel Reyes on her door step. She broke down in the doorway right in front of him and she knew the eldest brother couldn’t handle that amount of heartache that he also shared, despite him placing a kiss to the top of her head and leaving her with one of EZ’s dog tags, he left her with the woman who gave her life to deal with the weight of the lost on his own.

Hadiza then sent a letter to Felipe a couple of days before she decided to take her life elsewhere, away from all that Santo Padre showed her. She wasn’t sure if there would even be a funeral or memorial but she had to get out while she can still stand.

Antigua was always a place Hadiza wanted to visit and now she can say that she lives here comfortably.

She left her mother on the front deck to get them a refill of her famous rum punch that was leftover from her mother’s house party yesterday night. Hadiza was humming to herself in solitude until she heard her mother screaming out to her from outside.

The woman did not hesitate to race around the house with a bat, ready to fight off any Osprey’s that decided to invade their property again. Hadiza held her breath as she yanked open the door, eyes wild as she searched for her mother on the deck.

“What is it, ma?” Hadiza exhaled, seeing her mother sitting up on one of the wicker chairs.

Her mother nudged her chin towards the front and Hadiza cautiously took a step towards the railing. A few of her fingertips rested on the banister as she leaned over a bit, looking over at the new found community they both settled into. It was quiet as usual, air warm, seaweed scented, and fresh.

She wasn’t sure what had spooked her mother until her eyes settled down by the cars parked along the curb. Her eyes moved to the left a bit and she had to rub at one of them to make sure her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her. It tended to do that the first couple of weeks she settled in the country. Lately she’s been okay. A figure stood by a identical golf cart (that they had in their driveway) that was parked right behind Hadiza’s car, fitted cap on their head as their hands held onto a mobile device.

Her throat went dry before she could even muster up and ask if she could help the person locate who they were searching for…because she knew it was him before those honey eyes looked up at her.

“Ezekiel.” She shuddered, feeling her mother get to her feet behind her, like the DJ Khalid meme, almost like she wasn’t still healing from the last Osprey attack two weeks ago.

Her mother also gripped onto the banister, “Oh hell no. I rebuke this demonic spirit, get away from here!”

And tossed the freshly watered plant at Ezekiel who side-stepped the assault.

“Hey, Mrs—it’s just me!”

“I know! Aren’t you supposed to be dead, you bastard?!” She yelled back.

Hadiza whispered at the woman, “Ma, please.”

The woman humphed, folding her arms as she waddled back to the chair, already aware how this would go.

Hadiza pointed the bat at Ezekiel, “wait right there.”

“Not if you’re gonna beat my ass.”

“I’ll think about it by time I get downstairs.”

Hadiza’s mother cackled at that, knowing she raised her baby with some sort of sense.

Hadiza couldn’t tell you how she felt but the brain fog was kicking in. She weeped over this man too many times just for him to be here in the flesh, like they all didn’t experience the hell he indulged in back in Santo Padre.

Her mother was right to think a demon was standing in front of their home. The anger Hadiza directed at EZ after receiving the news of his death was like no other emotion Hadiza’s had before but she found peace in Antigua.

She halted at the front door, noticing EZ fumbling with his fingers after the phone disappeared from his hold. Hadiza took her time going down the few front steps, crossing through the grass and down the slope to the gravel.

The man looked up at her approach, carefully reaching up to lift the cap from his head to mess around with the brim of the hat as Hadiza moved closer but almost not close enough.

His eyes immediately went to her head, noticing that the mountain of coarse hair that she had was long gone into a buzzed style now.

He smiled, “you finally did it huh? I know you’ve been eating ‘em up more than ever out here.”

And she couldn’t stand it, her eyes scanning the old yellowing of bruises and cuts on his face, puffing out a laugh at his compliment as she almost collapsed into his arms, bringing his body so tight to hers that he thought he would break her rib cage but he followed through with the same actions.

Her chin buried into his shoulder, one of his hands around the small of her back, and the other cradling the back of her head, he heard her sob against him and he couldn’t be more apologetic.

When they pulled apart, she held onto his face analyzing the marks on his skin before she inflicted her own attack on his lower half.

“Hey! Ow!” A good whack to the top of his head, made Ezekiel stop taking the hits as he gripped her wrists again.

Except this time was different, his touch was much more softer.

“I’m sorry okay. I’m sorry for filling your head up with doubts and making you believe that I didn’t give a shit about our friendship. When quite frankly—no pun intended, you’re the best got damn thing that’s been in my life.” His hands slipped into holding her hands into his own large ones.

And the way he was staring at Hadiza, let her know that this was the old Ezekiel she had missed. It was the spark in his eyes that made her feel safe, given what he got himself involved in.

He could see her mind spinning with questions, the corners of her eyes damp with tears.

“What did I say to you when we first became friends?”

“…’jalapeños on these nachos are missing and I make better ones than these whack ass ones you’re eating.’” Hadiza actually thought about this.

Which made a goofy grin appear on Ez’s face and he shook his head with a sigh, “yeah I think I did say that but after that? I said you’re stuck with me if you choose me. It would always be Kiel and Diza for life, remember?”

It was ironic that he wanted to think back when he basically was rude as hell to her about this in his trailer months ago. The bitterness was still in the pit of her stomach but the higher road wanted her to be happy that this man, her best friend, Ezekiel Lorenzo Reyes was very much still alive.

Hadiza wasn’t sure how the fuck he did it but here he was, wiping away her black mascara before holding her hands in his again.

A small smile appeared on her lips as she peered down at their hands, lifting their conjoined hands up to place her lips right on the back of his hands. Ezekiel let out a breath he wasn’t aware that he was holding.

“For life.” She repeated, staring at him underneath her eyelashes.

He nodded his head, not breaking eye contact as she pulled the necklace from around her and placed it back on Ezekiel where it belonged. He glanced down at it, a new wave of emotions hitting him as he realized a piece of him was always with the one woman he deeply cared for.

“Let’s get inside.” Hadiza told him, as he leaned over to place a kiss to her full cheek.

She turned, her hand still resting in one of his hands as he reached for the fallen bat with the other, “think I might need this if I try to give your mom a hug.”

Hadiza laughed, “Baby steps, Kiel.”

“That’s fair.” He answers from behind her, letting her lead the way to her new home.

Perhaps now here in the Caribbean, they had the chance to create a better life, a better friendship together with no more black ink or blood spills blinding the way.

·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆ ·˚ ༘☄. *. ⋆·

Continue along with my anthology works that were written during the spring season here.

[respectthepetty]

Hey petty so recently I told you that you’d single-handedly convinced me to watch the HIStory and I have been having a great goddamn time Taiwan my absolute my beloved my belle of the ball you give me everything I want baby, but…I’ve come to Make Our Days Count and I need some encouragement to start it. Because I KNOW how it ends I KNOW it’s gonna hurt me so I need someone to hype me up and talk me into it

Anon, I told you not to follow me down my trashy path!

I'm not trying to convince y'all to watch anything. Never. Not ever. I loved Hit Bit Love, but I will never recommend that to anyone because I know what it was.

So now you're asking me, the person who consistently tells you not to watch anything unless you want to and not based on my unabashed love for it, to convince you to watch the HIStory-that-shall-not-be-named?

Well, I can't because, as you very well know, it's gonna fucking hurt! That series was, on average, ranked around an 8.8 each episode by 20 faithful watchers on My Drama List until the final episode which is a 4.8 with double the raters (40). Not only did it bury the gay at the last possible second after jailing the gay mafia lead in the previous installment right when Taiwan legalized marriage equality, but half of the world was going into lockdown, and the other half was burying its head in the sand about it. Basically, the morale was so low in BL Land, hell had to make new layers because HIStory decided to be high art and kill someone.

And it would be another two years before we got the next installment, my beloved HIStory 4: Close to You.

Knowing what I know, I wouldn't even tell myself to watch the HIStory-that-shall-not-be-named? I don't want to remember watching it, so I definitely don't want to talk about it.

Instead I'm going to convince you of why it's important that I did watch it four years ago in retrospect:

The Apology Tour

Taiwan knows it fucked up.

Every year since that ill-fated series, we get Wayne and Huang playing in the final episode of other BLs which greatly relies on us knowing who they are and their HIStory because without it, the emotional impact is wasted.

2020 - Life: Love on the Line (Japan) - They played tourists seeing the Northern Lights which is something they mentioned in HIStory.

2021 - Be Loved in House: I Do - Wayne played a random guy the lead runs into and tells him to never let anyone take his love away, but the two actually played in HIStory together, so Wayne's character realizes this as the lead runs away.

2022 - Plus & Minus - They are guests at the leads' wedding who run into each other and feel an instant connection as if they have met in a previous life.

2023 - Kiseki: Dear to Me - They play gangstas from a rival squad, but some of y'all have not watched episode 8, so I'll shut up.

Oh, and the side pair also pop up places like HIStory 4: Close to You.

Basically, each time these guys show up somewhere, it's a spectacle. It's basically AU fanfic every year for us. If they couldn't be together in HIStory, they can be together in other ways, in other shows, and in other universes, so I'm excited to see where they will pop up in 2024, but the commoner who hasn't watched the HIStory-that-shall-not-be-named will not care as much.

Anon, do you want to feel those feelings?

Do you want Taiwan to continue apologizing for its grave misdeed? Do you want to be "in the know" each time you see these two appear on your screen? Do you want to believe that they are together in another universe? Do you want all of this?

Because if you do, you can't have it if you don't watch the series that caused this ripple effect. You are missing a foundational competent of their legacy if you skip out on the HIStory-that-shall-not-be-named.

However, I can't encourage you to watch this.

I watched nine glorious episodes, then got beat down in the finale, only to spend the last four years gleefully sitting front row to the apology tour, so ask yourself if you are comfortable making that deal as well?

You decide.

[itspdameronthings]

in Loving memory

Summary: here is my entry to@triplefrontier-anniversary celebration. This is a really sad one. sorry about that. this is a tribute for one of our own ,@aellynera who is now with the angels. She was one of a kind . Hope she loves this. she loved Oscar. Most of us knew she loved Triple frontier ,and anything with oscar. ha ha!

the fic deals with him mourning his love.

Wish people would stop asking how I am doing. Want to be alone! Let me fucking be! Let me grieve in my own way! Others never lose the love of their life like me. My Alleycat. One of a kind. Talented writer . Yeah. She loved to write short stories. Did that to take her mind off her illness. I found out about it four years ago when she would get sick a lot. Doctors ran test after test. Until … she was in a coma! Scared me half to death. Prayed for more time with her. Wishing Columbia never happened. Took me away from her! God! Why ! Why you called her home so fucking soon! Took my dad ( Which I didn't have to say goodbye to!) Took me years to get past the hurt. Feel so alone! What now!? 

Haven't left our room since the funeral. That was the hardest thing to do. Say bye to my heart. Others are part of me. My Ying to my Yang. Treasure the moments we shared last year from going to a Broadway show in New York that stars her favorite actor. Okay, I saw why she likes him. Told me he looks like me. Smile at the memory. Oh Ally girl, wished we had more time together. Make even more memories. I’ll treasure them always. No matter what. I'll never find anyone like you darling. Promise you that. 

I'm watching Revenge of Jolly right now. Try to laugh. Haven't been able to do that. I remember coming home from a horrible day. She  was watching it. Okay.. kind of corny. 

I watched it,and oh shit! Was so corny.

After the movie.  I play some of her music. Oh how she loved the 70’s and 80’s. Her taste was all over the place! Like Dan Reed network. Played it a lot. Some country. Oh how she loved when I sing. Even with Benny. Speaking of him. Oh how he misses her. Like his big sister. Always teaming up to tease the shit out of me. Will and Frankie too loved her as well. 

Her family gave me space that I needed. Mention if I need anything to let them know. That's sweet. Even Benny's girl, Paige comes by with food ,and tries to clean the house. Which looks like inside my head. She is grieving like me. Both of them were close. Like the same things. Same kind of sass. Which is comforting. On this day Paige brought me a note Ally wrote before she passed. Said for me to read it. Cant! Cant fucking do it! What can she possibly tell me that I already know! Paige told me it would help the healing process. Putting it on my nightstand for the time being.

Few days later Will texted me to come over for a surprise get together at his place. Others will be there. Too soon! Not ready to go out! Oh got a text from Paige: 

Paige: Look, I know what you are going through. Been in your position when my dad passed away. Couldn't function. Took me awhile to realize that my dad didn't want me to wallow.

Santi: wallow? Think I'm wallowing? 

Paige: a little. Have to get out at some point okay? Ally wouldn't want you to be sad forever. Have a lot of people in your corner. Besides, I need you at the gathering. So does Benny. 

Santi: Oh.. the gathering has to do wop,ith you two?

Paige : maybe. 

Maybe she said. Just like Ally . So secretive. Guess I have to bite the bullet,and read the letter. Sitting in my worn out, black leather chair. Starting to read: 

My Santi baby( hot sauce) ,

Wrote this before my condition got so bad that I couldn't communicate anymore. Wanna tell you I love you soo much. Have been the love of my life for a long time, baby. Sorry for worrying you so much about my illness. Always there when I told you about it. So grateful for that. 

Have a request for you. Live life to the fullest,but first thing first. 

Get your knees checked out! Don't let it go too long! Hate to see you in pain. Do it for me. Secondly, it's okay to love someone new. Want you to be happy. It's okay to love someone else. Thirdly, let the others take care of you. I mean it! Have been a leader far too long. Let them take some of the slack okay? 

Last thing my love I treasure all of the time we shared in our short time together. Never in my wildest dreams we found each other. Be strong . 

Hold the note close to my heart. Tears fell again. Thinking about what I have to do. First thing. Time to get cleaned up. Meaning shaving my scruffy face. 

Took a breath as I knocked on ironhead’s door. Benny opened the door. Hugging me so tight I couldn't breath. Others hugged me. Even Paige. Asked me if I was okay. Squeezed her tiny hands and told her I read the letter .  Told her I'll do what she says. 

Benny made his special announcement. Him and Paige are getting married. So happy for them . Hope both of them have a wonderful life together. Looking up at the evening sky knowing she is in heaven watching. Guiding not just me,but all of the people she cares about. 

[evita-shelby]

National Anthem

Chapter 11

Cw: mentions of children's illnesses, disabled children and premonitions of death

Taglist: @zablife @thegreatdragonfruta

September 1923

To their credit, the boys don’t cry on their first day of school. Technically it is just kindergarten and they’ll be out by noon giving them no time to miss them, or so he comforts his wife who didn’t bring her handkerchief.

Both are very excited about their new clothes and things and the carefully packed lunches Eva made herself with little handwritten notes that make you think she will never see them again.

Blamed it on the baby, but Jack knows her and will tease her about it for the rest of their lives.

“Oh, don’t tell me you didn’t get a spring in your step when the boys bragged about you to everyone who would listen.” She teases him in return, and he refuses to admit that he did enjoy the clear admiration his boys have for him to anyone else but her.

He can do no wrong, he is the greatest man to walk the earth and they are too young to know it’s the exact opposite. But for now, he will gladly accept their hero worship of him.

“Do you think Rosie might be able to start school next year?” He can’t help but ask her that.

Rosie was different from other kids her age, still had trouble speaking, writing and prone to fits. The new nanny was good with her, she had experience with children like Rosie, but even then being cared for at home was way different from school.

Jack had been bullied for being too tall, too Irish and catholic, Gina hadn’t fared any better at private school. His kids had a foreign mother and he knew how kids like his girl were treated to know it will be bad.

Jack didn’t think being a father would have him like this, most fathers just leave everything to their wives and now he’s here in a car worrying himself to death.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, I suppose.”

The boys do better than they expect. In fact, he can’t recall ever being excited for school like they are. So excited they’ve been talking his ear off as he tries to get some work done in the home office.

“They want to go on the bus, tomorrow. They asked me to convince you to let them.” Jack brings forth the twins’ petition in a strange turn of events. It’s always the other way around, Eva being the one to convince him for something they want.

She’s always had a way to ‘convince’ him and now it’s his turn. Not that the kids will ever know their impassioned arguments worked on him because of the nasty, disrespectful sex Jack and Eva have before or after it.

“Let’s see if you can do a better job than me, Mr. Nelson.” Eva teases him, pretending she’s not terrified of letting the boys go on the bus.

Even at the tender age of four, Joey and Junior knew something wasn’t quite right with their mother. They knew she had nightmares, terrible things that left her in a shit state after, and how afraid she was of them being far from her reach.

“I vetted the driver and most of the staff at the school district in August. They’ll be safe from them at least.” He had assumed that had been obvious, but it didn’t help to remind her that.

“I thought you were going to fuck me, Jack.” His wife accepts the new information but still complains at him genuinely trying to make her see reason.

“I will, once you agree to let them go on the bus.”

December 1st, 1924

As far as people will know, they are perfect.

Eva has won over the PTA, Jack’s no longer bothered by the other moms ---and schoolteachers he had a past with--- flirting with him and the children are doing great.

The twins played team sports and Rosie would be allowed to start school later ---the twins had been allowed to start early due to exceptional brightness. Kitty was born well and was reaching milestones at the expected time and just seen her first birthday. They’d even gotten a dog to complete the picture of an all-American family this Christmas.

Everything was perfect.

Even his dealings in the underworld were going great. He owned a stake of the Cotton Club despite how Eva hated how racist it was, the Spiniettas were gearing up for a vendetta with the Shelbys because they got hit when shit hit the fan and Jack was all too ready to sweep in and take it all.

Who would stop them?

“Happy Birthday, Evie.” Jack kissed his wife good morning, the taste of her pussy still on his tongue from the way he woke up the sleeping beauty.

She hates the cold and lucky her, she’s got him to keep her warm.

“How much time do we have before the children wake up?” Eva pulled him back for another kiss and reached for the waistband of his pajama pants, can’t risk getting caught naked by the kids again.

“Enough, I think. It’s a school day.” Two more weeks of school before they spend the holidays down in Florida like they always do. Now they had to come back when winter break ended instead of staying until the worst of winter ended.

They could’ve left this week but the boys were in the Christmas pageant and somehow dressing in itchy costumes for hours was seen as better than Christmas at the beach. Its not like they had any lines anyways, Joey couldn’t remember his and Jack never said his with a straight face.

They don’t get far when Junior knocks insistently saying his throat hurts. Neither Jack nor Eva didn’t expect spending the next sixteen days nursing the boys through Scarlet Fever. A deadly illness without good enough cures yet.

It falls on Jack to care for the girls while Eva quarantines herself in the boys’ room. They pull through, Junior being the one to make them fear the worst.

“I had a dream I died, daddy.” Junior says solemnly when they watch the quarantine posters from the windows burn in their fireplace and leave out the cookies for Santa. “Not like last week, I was a grown up and sitting in the back of a car. My head hurt a lot when I woke up.”

Jack Nelson will never forget those words for as long as he lives, bur for Eva’s sake he will not tell her their son has dreamed of his own death.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

My whole renewed dive into trying to save all the John Oliver files I can get my hands on, which within a week escalated to me buying a new 1TB hard drive just to see how big a John Oliver folder I can make, started when it was noticed that this video was taken off YouTube:

I was glad I’d saved a copy of it, because I don’t trust anything to stay anywhere on the internet, if there’s something I like I immediately put it on my hard drive so it can’t disappear. I'm making this post mainly for anyone else who might not have saved this before YouTube took it down, here's where you can download it. Because no one should be denied the really fucking weird 25 minutes with baby comedians from 1997.

A few years ago I read this quote from Richard Ayoade, which I annoyingly can't find now, where he said he doesn't like this documentary, that they were just students and obviously didn't know what they were doing and some film people came in and said they wouldn't look bad in it but of course they do look bad. It was something like that, I can't find the exact quote. But I remember finding it odd, because surely no one is judging these people's actual comedic skill based on a few clips from a 25-minute video of when they were students. People just share it because it's funny to adorable little baby versions of the comedians who are famous now. Obviously they weren't doing high-quality comedy, they were like 19, no one cares.

Since then, I have learned that this is not quite true, and Richard Ayoade did, in fact, have reason to object to his weird student sketches being out there. Because apparently, some people are judging their comedic skill based on the time in 1997 when he and John Oliver did a weird sketch on a fence. My deep rabbit hole dives of about 18 months ago led me through a lot of old comedy message board threads, including one from 2006 of people absolutely ripping that video apart as a sign that comedy is well past its peak and this newfangled crop of comedians are all shit and the once-great institution of Cambridge Footlights has fallen. By 2006.

I normally don't link to things things directly from a message board on here, seems too close to that horrible thing where you take screenshots from one social media and post it on a different social media to make fun of it (so instead, I just occasionally see something I disagree with on a message board, and then write a post on here refuting it without posting the original context, to people who don't know what I'm talking about), but it feels more acceptable if it was from 2006, I think. It's not like the person who posted that in 2006 is likely to still be hanging around Britcom social media seeing who's quoting them. So I think... I think I need to quote just a little bit of it, because there was this one really long aggressive rant from this one 2006 post that was the funniest fucking thing (I won't like but it's not hard to find on Google):

I mean, I can't really communicate how bad it was, to be honest. But it was just the fact that you saw the two cunts writing the thing, sitting in a daylight-filled bar, giggling into their lager. You got the picture? Ugh. And John Oliver, who is the spitting image of David Baddiel (intentionally of course), is there with his pencil and notepad suggesting the lines with a grandiose smugness that made me really ill, and his mate (the blandest man ever) is there, with his jumper and his shoes, salivating over the comic genius he sees before him. Cunt, cunt, CUNT! They also have three girl-ones with them, all of whom have no talent whatsoever. You see one of them auditioning, where she has to do some improv, and she's shit... but the president (who looks like a fifteen year-old John Lloyd) can be heard wheezily guffawing at everything she says. And this serves only to make her improv even worse. And John Oliver is the worst. Or the one that got to me the most. With his hair.

That is, in case anyone's wondering, why my current Tumblr bio ends with the line: "John Oliver is the worst. Or the one that got to me the most. With his hair." It's a quote from a guy in 2006 who was really really mad about a 25-minute Footlights documentary.

So I would like to state, for the record, that by sharing this video, I am not endorsing the actual quality of the comedy in the few little sketches we see. I am also not endorsing the class system, the hold that a few elite institutions have over entire industries, Richard Ayoade's views on transgender people, or trivia in pubs. I just think they're adorable baby comedians as well as an interesting snapshot of comedy history. I'm pretty sure that's all it's supposed to be.

I am also not endorsing the class-based dominance of elite institutions when I say I still want that sitcom between two student comedians, Kim Tey and Wark Atson, who have to band together to get through their year-long university comedy play while hiding from everyone but each other their respective secrets of not really being a student there, and not really being Welsh. Madcap farcical hi-jinks ensue. People would watch it. I do not endorse the class-based dominance of elite institutions but I do quite enjoy Footlights stories, so I'm glad they made a really weird documentary with some of them. Also when I go to the UK this summer I've booked off one entire day to take the train to Cambridge and run around feeling like I'm in Harry Potter (Disclaimer: I also do not endorse JK Rowling's views on trans people, or at this point, on most things. Why can't we have nice things?).

I do not endorse the class-based dominance of elite institutions, but also,

And that probably the only time you'll hear someone compare John Oliver to John Robins (very different comedians, really), especially on a post that started out just being a way to share a video that's been taken off YouTube. Download the Google Drive link if you want to keep it, everyone. That was supposed to be the point of this post. It's a good video. It features Richard Ayoade and Matthew Holness and either that woman from Peep Show or her sister, I get them mixed up. And also it features John Oliver with, to be fair for one moment to that guy in 2006, quite Baddiel-like hair.

[practically-an-x-man]

2, 4, 15, 23, 24, 28 for whom the ask tolls?

Thank you!

For Whom The Ask Tolls

2. Tell us a scary story?

Like from my own life? Nothing immediately comes to mind, honestly. I'm a big fan of the macabre but not a devout believer in the paranormal, and I enjoy creepy things (so what I see as "scary" might be a little skewed, I just think it's cool).

If I would've believed anywhere was haunted, it was my great-grandfather's house. He passed away when I was a kid, and we went to his house pretty often for a few years while my dad tried to get all the estate stuff sorted out with his (mostly estranged) sister and other extended family. That whole house felt a little off to me, but that might've just been that it was associated with my first real experiences with death, and it was an old house (old and creaky, a little rotted, some weird smells).

However, there was one room I remember vividly, above all the others. It was an extension off of a larger bedroom, and thinking back on it now it strikes me as a closet that was renovated into a baby's room (so the baby's crib would be near the parents but still in a separate space). It was a pretty long, thin room, painted pink with feminine wallpaper, and with a wall decoration next to the door that had Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep printed on it (I mainly remember this because I found the "if I die before I wake" especially creepy as a kid). There were also a lot of old-fashioned dolls in the room, including some laid out in an old wooden crib, and one of those spoon carousels from back when spoon collecting was a big souvenir thing.

I can't say anything particularly spooky happened there, it's not like I saw a ghost or one of the dolls jumped out of the crib or anything, but I can't describe how very off this room felt to me as a child. I was fine enough with the rest of the house, maybe a little creeped-out just from it being a new and very empty old place for me, but that room gave me the creeps like nothing else. And the biggest part is, this was when I was maybe 7 or 8 years old - I was never interested in dolls much, but I was too young to know about the creepy doll trope and other than that it just looked like a pretty normal if old-fashioned room for a baby girl. It just creeped me the fuck out for no discernible reason.

It's worth mentioning that my dad had two sisters - one is still alive and we don't talk to her much, but the other passed away from brain cancer as a young adult and it's kinda regarded as the tragedy of that side of the family. I don't know if that ever was her room and I don't believe strongly enough in the paranormal to really feel like her ghost is the reason I got such unexplainably bad vibes from that place, but it's the most distinct paranormal memory I can think of.

4. Talk about three characters you relate to and why?

Angel (Warren Worthington III) - grew up with a strict, emotionally neglectful parent who pushed extreme expectations of success and perfectionism on me; medical trauma that first emerged when I was 12 and went ignored for years, caused by a genetic mutation; being successful in a lot of venues but always feeling vaguely out-of-place and unbelonging; found family and a deep love for friends and community

Polka-Dot Man (Abner Krill) - see above about emotionally neglectful parent, medical trauma, found family, and feeling like an outsider; representation of chronic fatigue/illness and rare medical conditions

And since I wanted one that wasn't just another of my blorbos:

3. Katie Mitchell (Mitchells Vs. the Machines) - oldest child, queer, trying to get into the film industry, very passionate about weird art, struggle to connect with and be understood by my family, comes up with creative ideas that usually end up working even if they're odd

15. Talk about a cryptid?

Ohohoho buddy I'm in Appalachia, we've got cryptids up the WAZOO. Or at least... people claim so. Personally cryptids are one of those for me that fall under the "I love to hear the stories because they're fun to listen to, but I don't really believe they're unexplainable like that" bubble - there's a whole bunch of Bigfoot-like "hominids" like the Tennessee Wildman that are most likely either black bears with mange or just people spotted living out in the forest (like they DO in Appalachia), the Not-Deer that really just sounds like a whitetail with CWD or rabies to me, the Wampus Cat or other panther-like cryptids that are probably just cougar sightings.

Adrenaline is a hell of a drug, and so is the ingrained fear response to things like CWD or rabies - there's a reason things look so off with diseases like that, or just predators in general, and it's biological memory much more than it is anything paranormal.

There was one time when I was in college, my friend was taking a walk out in the forest and managed to record this freaky shrieking noise coming from the woods and sent the video to us because he was SURE he'd encountered a cryptid.... right up until I told him that's the sound of a female cougar in heat. It does sound like a woman screaming her lungs out, I'll grant him that much.

23. Spooky music?

Hell yeah!! I love Ice Nine Kills and Harley Poe and other music that plays off of horror like that, I think it's really fun.

24. Do you like horror or spooky video games?

I don't play a ton of video games myself, and most of the ones I enjoy playing are either goofy games like West of Loathing or survival/adventure games, but I do really love watching playthroughs of horror games

28. Recommend a read?

We Sold Our Souls by Grady Hendrix! It was the first book of his that I read, and since then I've become a huge fan of him as an author (I think I'm all caught up now on what he's written, or at least close to it). It follows the lead guitarist of a metal band 20 years after they broke up, when she discovers that the lead singer literally sold all of their souls to the devil in exchange for massive fame... and is planning another mass soul-sacrifice at his upcoming music festival.

[tropes-and-tales]

The Kindness of Strangers

December 22:  Stocking/Hum - Meet-Cute (Dave York x F!reader)

(From the winter prompts found here)

CW:  Slight angst; mention of character death; implied illness; meet-cute; soft sad dad Dave

Word Count:  1441

AN:  Requested by anon!

One of the worst parts of moving is how stuff gets lost, which is why Dave York finds himself in a mall weeks before Christmas, trying to find decorations.

His temper, usually cool, is frayed.  The girls are in school, at least.  The mall is crowded, full of crying babies and loud holiday music piped in over the intercom.  It’s a damned weekday and somehow the mall is full, and his temper is unraveling, and when he checks the mental list in his head, he despairs at ever getting everything finished in time for the holiday.

“Fuck it,” he finally mutters to himself.  He marches to the nearest department store near and makes his way to the holiday area.  He knows it’ll be picked over, but will the girls really miss the elaborate garlands his wife used to hang up?  Will they really miss having three different manger scenes throughout the house or the light-up reindeer in the front yard?

He doubts it.  They are still deeply grieving the loss of their mother and the loss of their friends in their old school.  The move cross-country was necessary:  a fresh start in a new place and a new home, but also a new job for him.  The only parent now, Dave York’s gone completely straight and taken an intelligence role with a branch division with the DIA.

He doesn’t need the money, of course.  He has Carol’s life insurance policy, still mostly intact even after the medical bills were settled.  He has the profits from the sale of his old home.

He has the tidy sum of money offshore from his less-than-noble work.

But that’s done now.  A fresh start.

A fresh start without Christmas stockings doesn’t count, though.

*****

You bought your house last December, and your first Christmas in your new home had been spartan:  a feast of take-out reheated, surrounded by unpacked boxes.

Over the course of the year, you made the house your home.  Painted walls, unpacked your boxes, settled in.  Over the summer, you adopted a shelter dog, Max.

You are determined to make this Christmas better.  A party with friends, a dinner for those of you who have no families or are far from home.  And yes, you are one of those people:  you plan to spoil your mutt.  You already have presents for him, and now you just want a stocking for him to hang over your fireplace, to fill with treats—

You find the holiday section of the store.  This late in the year, it’s picked over and sparse.  There’s sad leftovers:  bent rolls of wrapping paper, chipped figurines, tinsel shedding its glitter and fibers.

The stocking section is pure carnage.  All of the ones with embroidered initials are in a pile, and all of the popular letters are gone.  You see five Q’s, two W’s, three U’s, but no M’s—

You sift through the pile, dimly aware of the man in the aisle with you.  He stands back, scanning the shelves, and you ignore him.  You hum along to the music playing over the intercom—

There.  There.  You see it, a fucking unicorn.  A stocking with an M embroidered on it—

You reach for it.  You snag one end of it, but then another hand reaches out too, grabs the other end.

The man in the aisle with you.  You look up and see him, see him attached to the arm attached to the hand holding the stocking you’re trying to buy—

You both drop it.

“Sorry,” you both say, and you both do the same awkward chuckle, give the same tight smile that is the hallmark of social awkwardness—

“No, sorry.  You saw it first,” he says, and he plucks the stocking from the pile and holds it out to you.

“Thanks.”  You take it, try to even out your smile into something more natural.  You lift your shoulder in a half-shrug.  “It’s for my dog.  It’s his first Christmas,” and when you look closer, see how handsome this stranger is, you feel the heat flood your face at your embarrassing admission.  You sound like one of those people, the sort to call your dog your son and put him in a goofy sweater and make him his own social media profiles, which…you only have one sweater for him.  

“That’s cute.  Has your dog been naughty or nice?”

Your face burns even hotter.  “Naughty, but he gets a pass.  He’s a shelter dog.”

“What’s his name?”

“Max.”  You finger the tassel on the stocking, the thought occurring to you a beat too late.  “Who’s your M?”

The man smiles at you, his brown eyes warm.  “Molly.  My daughter.”

“Oh!”  You take the stocking from your basket and hold it out to him.  “Fuck, take it.  Sorry, didn’t mean to swear but…a kid?  No, take it.”

He holds his hand out, pushes your hand away gently.  “No, you had it first.”

“No, seriously.  Please.  I’d feel terrible if I ruined some kid’s Christmas.  And, I mean…Max won’t know any better.  He’s confused by the Roomba.  He won’t know the difference on an initial.  I’ll just get a blank one, no harm.”

He hesitates, and you can see that he wants it.  That he’s just being polite.  “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.  Please take it.”

He does, and he looks down at it.  “I appreciate it.”  There’s something in his voice, a tone that says this is a bigger moment than you realize.  There’s backstory you are unaware of.

“Sure.  Yeah, no problem.”

He lifts his head and looks at you, smiles again.  “You didn’t happen to see an ‘A’ in that pile, did you?  For my other daughter, Alice.”

“Actually…”  You turn, rifle through the pile again.  “Yeah, here.”  You pull it out and hand it to him, and his smile turns to pure relief.  He practically sags in relief.

“You’re a life-saver,” he tells you, and you wave him off, aware that he’s going through something or dealing with something and you’re just a stranger who was kind in a single moment.  Though sometimes, a single kind moment from a stranger is all a person needs.

*****

Dave doesn’t mean to make it weird.  A stupid thing, to get choked up over a stocking.  To feel a sudden flood of emotions—sorrow and grief and hope and faint optimism, all at once.  The loss of his wife, raising his girls alone now…he thought he was adjusted to his new reality, but he guesses he’s not quite there yet.

And yet, here is a person, a stranger.  The holidays can bring out the feral side of people, but they can also bring out the good, which is what you’ve offered him.  A stranger with nothing owed to him, yet you graciously hand over the thing you’ve come to buy, and you smile as you do it.

He doesn’t mean for the words to spill out.  A stupid thing, to tell a stranger his business.  How far he’s fallen since his days as a mercenary, when he had every emotion carefully under control.

“Their mother died,” he blurts out, instantly horrified by what’s coming from his mouth.  “We just moved here.”

“Oh no.”  Your eyes widen in sympathy.  “I’m so sorry.”  

“I don’t…it’s fine.”  He chuckles, a little bitter.  “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

“I have one of those faces.  People just tell me things.”

“You should work for law enforcement then.  Work on getting confessions.”

You smile, shake your head.  “Nah.  I don’t like guns.”

You each stand there for an awkward beat of silence, and he starts to turn to leave, gives you another tight smile.  Something about the moment or something about him hits you, and you reach into your purse and pull out a piece of paper.  You hand it to him—a business card.

“This is you?” he asks.

“Yes.”  He reads it—you’re a music instructor.  You give music lessons.  Pretty far from law enforcement after all.

“It has my number.  My email.  You’re new in town, and if you need anything…”  You trail off, bite your lip.  “I’m just realizing how that sounds.”

He slips it into his pocket.  He spares you the truth which is, yes, it sounds like you’re hitting on him.  Giving him your contact information.  Him, a widower and father of two motherless daughters.  

“It sounds neighborly,” he says, and he smiles at you.  Because it is neighborly too, and he knows that now more than ever, he needs his new neighbors.  He needs friends; he needs people who are kind instead of feral, who do a simple nice thing for a stranger.

[bakedbakermom]

making a hard decision today

so before momlife, i was the owner of a small business making silicone mermaid tails. here's one of my favorites, modeled by the client who commissioned it.

it was fun, fulfilling, creative work that i mostly loved (outside of a few really hard clients).

then child came. these tails were labor-intensive, as you can imagine, and there were some processes that lasted 4+ hours with no way to take much of a break in between - not exactly a schedule conducive to momming an infant. plus some of the chemicals i use really should not be in any kind of contact with a baby, and no matter how carefully i ppe and wash up after i just didn't feel safe. daycare was more expensive than what i made selling tails, so husband and i decided that i would stay-at-home mom for a few years and put the tail business on hold.

we started kiddo in daycare right around the time she turned 3, because she needed the social development and i needed to be more than a mom. i started cleaning up my studio (spare room in the basement), making some new sculpts, prepared to reopen...

then covid. preschool shut down. no one has money for tails. fuck.

since then i have tried several times to get my business back up and running. each time there's been an illness or an injury that set things back. facebook and instagram, where i used to post religiously to try and catch clients, have devolved into a nightmare that i just do not have the energy to navigate, not to mention the skin-crawling ick factor of that horrid corporation using my and my clients' hard work to create ai to drive real humans out of business. the mermaid community has changed as well, with everyone trying to be the next big name, and i am lost in a sea (pun intended) of other micro-makers and can't get traction.

my studio has become a graveyard of half-finished moulds, accessories that never sold, expired supplies purchased for a comeback that never came back. it bums me out every time i go in there, and the prospect of starting again does things to my insides that i should probably listen to.

i need creativity in my life to stay sane, but i have learned in the intervening years that creating for money sucks the joy out of it.

i think... i think it's time to quit for real. every august i get a letter from the small business arm of the secretary of state to renew my llc and i'm sitting here staring at it and thinking, why. why should i pay $100 a year to renew a license for a business that hasn't made a single sale in 8 years. why should i go back to something that sucks up all my time and energy that gives me nothing back anymore. why should i have an entire room in my house that i can't go into or even think about too hard because it makes me weep to feel like a failure? (i know i'm not a failure, but no one said feelings were rational okay.)

i made beautiful things. i met wonderful people. i had fun. but i think it's time to let go.

[sunwarmed-ash]

Fic tag game!

tagged by my buddies @cuillere and @lizzy0305! thank you for this!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

93 😎

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

831,467 (holy fucking shit when did it get that long?!?!?! #ThatsWhatSheSaid

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things, Detroit become human, the breakfast club, marvel/spiderverses, Ted lasso, House MD, Harry Potter

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Tony Stark: Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, Daddy: (starker) 1074

I think I need help: (harringrove) 927

Call me Doctor: (Chase/House & Chase/House/Wilson 739

Rockabye Baby: (Wincest kinda??) 670

You know what they say about assuming. (steddiegrove) 645

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Every. Single. One. Comments are the lifeblood to my work. Its so intimidating to be posting to a empty void but y'alls comments give life to the achieve and are just as important to a WIPs development as anything I write on my own!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Idk, I have ALOT of wips without endings/one shots. Probs the most angsty one I have in general is either The New Kid or Silence isn't Golden

wait wait wait, I found a dual suicide Wincest fic, that wins

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhhhhh this Thor/Bruce fic may be the fluffiest one I have haha

8. Do you get hate on fics?

HA! yeah, but oddly its just the ones with sex work in them. Who would have guessed 🙄🙄🙄🙄

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes 😈😈😈 kink wise all over the place, from super vanilla to BDSM and anything else I can think of. Peoplewise LGBTQ and queer characters, canon or fanon, polycules. Trope wise, enemies to lovers is my fav, but I also love pining or tragic love 👌

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yes!! not too many, but I've written a few. This one isn't crazy but it is the most developed of all the wips. It's a Supernatural/The Breakfast Club crossover called Supernatural activity at shermer high

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

a few times by a bot, im really really hoping it doesn't happen again but with AI about to fuck us all out of work, im a lil worried.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! two of my Starker fics were translated into Russian and on fic book but that website got torched a few years ago :( I think I also had a reader translate a TBC fic into Portuguese

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Many! probably 20-30 at this point

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

not possible for me to choose. So here's my favs of the moment. Hankconvin800 or hankvin1700, steddiegrove, parksborn, steadyhands

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

get a few scotches in him and he'll hit on anything in a 5 mile radius.

its a cowritten work I worked on years ago and just, meh idk I dont really wanna go back to it haha

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've gotten compliments on my dialogue, dynamic character relationships, smut, and angst

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

proof reading and editing

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i never trust google translate to do a good enough job so to avoid looking like a fool i dont do it. I should try though, expand my horizons. I'm learning Danish so maybe ill make a fic using that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

all of them hold significant places in my heart. they are all pieces of me and I'm trying to learn to love all of me. And that's gotta start somewhere!

tagging all my mututals and anyone who wants to do it

@sweeteatercat @disdaidal @sweetasblack @writerwhowritesao3 @geekinglikeaboss @destroya-hargrove @kissoflightning @moviemuncherao3 @cuillere @late-to-the-party-81 @spaceofentropy @strangebrainrot @treeffles @heiko-goes-detroit

[whysamwhy123]

✨Fic Writing Review 2023✨

Tagged by the wonderful dynamic duo that is @aerodaltonimperial and @perhapswhoknowsvamp and it's very fitting that those two lovely people tagged me because they're a big reason why I wrote much of anything this year! Took me a while to get this done because I wanted to get my last fic of the year out the door first. I'll put the rest below the cut, and fair warning - it's loooooong. This bitch doesn't shut up, so I rambled on. A lot.

Words and Fics

76, 222 words published on AO3 in 2023

15 fics published on AO3 (16 if you count that one kinkmeme prompt I filled and posted anonymously)

2 little tumblr ficlets

Top 3 by Kudos

Voice in the Dark - Hookhausen (not super surprising, considering it was a popular pairing at the time, and it was the fic I wrote for the anniversary event)

Kids These Days And Their Darn Phones - Hookhausen

Half Your Age Plus Seven - OrangeHook (I continue to be incredibly surprised how well this fic did, like...huh?!)

Top 3 by Hits

Voice in the Dark - Hookhausen

Voice in the Dark, Part Two - Hookhausen (how fitting, LOL)

Half Your Age Plus Seven - OrangeHook (Seriously, what was it about this fic that drew people in? More so than any of my other OrangeHook fics? Like, I'm grateful and all but also confused, like this fic is way too long?! And weird about the age difference?!)

Author's Favourite

As much as I'm loving writing OrangeHook now, I think Voice in the Dark, Part Two is probably the best thing I've written? Even though it's also overly long and gets weird at the end (very much did not expect it to go in that direction when I started writing it), I'm actually pretty proud of how that one turned out. I had a clear vision in my head for how each scene would play out and what I wanted to get across, and man, I remember how most of the Hook/Evilhausen dialogue popped into my brain late one night when I couldn't sleep, so I spat it out into a doc and then about a month later when I actually wrote the scene, I don't think I changed a single word? I just added everything else around it, all the not-dialogue parts. And it was just a lot of fun getting to carry on that story, especially as someone who hasn't managed to crank out a proper multi-chapter fic yet. Who knows, maybe I'll return to that world someday...

Fandom Events in 2023

Uh, well, I guess I did the whole Hookhausen Anniversary thing? And...that's about it. I'm pretty disconnected from the fandom at large, whoopsie daisy 😬

Upcoming Projects

Hoo boy.

I have over 5k words of a Ricky/Christian Sugar Baby AU thing written already. I haven't posted it because it kinda needs some smut and that's still not something I can really do. I might post it someday, if I can make something work, or alternatively do what I normally do and put an annoying fade to black in there. Or maybe I'll think better of it and never post it because it's very self-indulgent and I highly doubt anyone else would really be interested or want me to continue it or anything. But I have Ideas for it...so many ideas...

Also, in my ill-fated quest to try and make myself write smut, I kinda started a Ricky/Bill championship celebration fic. Maybe I'll revisit that? Try to get it done?

And then there's that one fic I really want to work on, but have barely started. I've vague-posted about it here before - it's an incredibly fucked-up Dead Dove fic about Daniel Garcia and a Very Bad, Not-Good thing that happens to him, and the subsequent complete mental breakdown that follows. I've had the idea rattling around in my brain for the better part of a year at this point, despite not making much actual progress on it. Every time I think about it though, I have new ideas for scenes or dialogue. I'd like to make it work, but I don't know if I have the writing chops to handle it, plus it would probably end up being super long and nobody would want to read it, so it'd feel like a huge waste of time on my part? And I've had the idea for so long, it's out-dated too. But still, the urge remains...

Oh, and I still have a ton of OrangeHook ideas I'd like to make happen. Some are, of course, about their age difference. Some would (ideally) involve smut. And others... *nervous laughter* Others would likely result in an ''Everyone disliked that'' situation...

Writing Reflection

I was thinking about making a sappy post about this and whoops, here's my excuse! I don't talk a lot on here about my tragic backstory because honestly, who cares? But I will say this - before January of this year, I hadn't written a word of anything in years. Fic or otherwise. I used to love writing, but Stuff Happened and it killed all enjoyment I got out of it, and I thought that's how it would be forever. Then, for reasons I can't even remember, I started reading fic again, specifically in this wild little fandom of ours, and y'all are just so talented that it made my untalented ass want to give it another shot. So...I did.

I remember when I posted my first fic in ages back in January, I thought ''Maybe about three people will read this and no one will leave a comment or anything, but whatever, I wrote a thing and that's something I haven't done in years so that's enough for me!'' And to be honest, I still think that whenever I post stuff now? It's crazy to me that anyone actually reads my stuff and gets some kind of kick out of it. But every kudos and comment floors me and brings me so much joy, I can't even express it properly. I have to say a huge thank you to anyone who's ever read one of my fics, left kudos or dropped a comment. Whoever and wherever you are, you made my day!

And look, I ain't delusional. I know that calling myself a small fish in the fandom would be too generous. But I'm fine with that - because I'm genuinely enjoying writing again and that's what matters most to me. Even though I've also rediscovered how stressful writing can be (🙂🙂🙂) when it comes down to it, there's joy and happiness in my life that wasn't there last year and that's all because I started writing again. And because some lovely folks here decided to let me know they liked what I was throwing out there. The years have not been kind to ol' Sammy Sam-Sam and this year was no exception, but getting to forget about all that shit and write my silly little wrestling fanfiction has been a great distraction and a comfort through this whole year.

So...yeah. Thanks to everyone who's ever commented on my writing, thanks to the folks who follow me on here (I don't know how you manage that though, I'm such an annoying bitch, aren't you sick of me yet?) and thanks to anyone who I've had the chance to chat with about writing and ships and whatever silly little ideas pop into my head (any of y'all feel free to message me at any time, I am always down to blab about whatever blorbos/ideas take your fancy). I'm hoping I can keep this train a-rollin' a little more next year. Still thinking back to when I started writing again, I made my new AO3 account expecting to write Dustjim only, but then I quickly decided I couldn't write those two well enough, and since then I've bounced around a bunch of different pairings, with a few rarepairs shoved in between for good measure. God only knows where my head will be at this time next year, LOL. I'd love to finally be able to attempt some of the bigger ideas I've been cooking up for a while now. Maybe I'll even write a proper multi-chapter fic? We'll see, but this bitch can dream, at least.

Rules:

Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please do eat glass, I’ve heard it’s good for your gums.

I'm not going to tag anyone because I'm pretty sure everyone I know who writes has already been tagged? So if you're reading this and you haven't, go ahead and do it! By which I mean, eat glass. Eat all the glass that you want. Accidents happen in the dark.