#ill probably still be able to breathe but like it'll be an even bigger struggle than it is now
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anybody else have a food they're allergic to but still eat anyway
#not DEATH deathly but like. allergic#im allergic to shrimp and guac but i still eat it ..#my throat will get itchy and swell and breathing feels more closed#wherever the food touches also swells in bumps but usually only wherever the food makes contact#but yall. it's so good#the food not the swelling lol i have to sip on water while i eat to help gauge the significance of the throat swelling#i can usually eat up to 2 or 3 big shrimps until i hit my ok.. one more and this will hurt me lots#ill probably still be able to breathe but like it'll be an even bigger struggle than it is now#i think im also allergic to this common italian herb thingy anise? but thats fine bcs i dont like it anyways#but grilled SEASONED shrimp is my weakness. i LOVE SHRIMP!!! add some buffalo sauce and my my my..#idk tho my friends hate when i eat shrimp and will moderate my moderation#'ted ure a medical man. u should be against this' i hungry#idk maybe i dhould cold cut endulging in my allergies now b4 it becomes a lifestyle#i remember when i was younger my boss order me chinese food for doing a Lot of open2closes#and i ordered shrimp and lo mein(iLOVEEEE LO MEINN!!! when i was lil i would get PLATEFULS of JUST lo mein)#(id remove the veggies bcs they got in the way of my noodles)#(but now im older and the texture is too much sameness so i get even amount of lo mein and some sorta meat for Balance)#and i ate like a bit then put the rest in the cooler and he was like 'ure not hungry?' and i told him im allergic#and his eyes got real big and he was shouted my full name like a worried parent#i mean i explained my eat 2 then wait for the swelling to die down and eat 2 more till the inability to breathe gets annoying#but he was still anxious and watching me like a hawk#so#maybe.. i shouldnt do this anymore#does anyone else do this if they have the ability to?#perhaps i am dancing with the devil here#the devil wears privilege
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I actually had a great fucking evening, surprisingly
My sister took me to a trail by surprise and I didn't dare to hope preemptively, but my body still works! I knew it wasn't just being fat--I knew something massive changed after having covid. This proves it to me. Like my sister said, I struggled out on the ice cave path (which was a few thousand feet even higher than I've been living). But this walk, I was finally able to walk at my own pace without worrying about the pain of breathing (until it got really really cold; I didn't expect my respiratory 'allergy' to cold to go away).
Then I proceeded to get a sporadic lecture about my horrifically poor relationship to food. I kinda deserve it; I'm the one who minded her relationship with food from afar for years, but I made no moves to improve my own. It's hard when food hurts more than it helps. Sometimes it's just easier to go hungry.
Anyway, even bigger than that, I figured my cats might have some pent up energy from being trapped in the bedroom for two weeks now, so I borrowed one of the lesser used toys from my sister's cats and my girl decided that it was hiss and growl at a fucking toy time. I hissed back at her and she stopped hissing, but she kept growling. She hasn't growled during playing with me since she was an older kitten; I'm less worried since she was her regular angelic self afterwards. Besides, she's warming right up to my sister (traitor lol), which is rather promising.
We're most likely going to at least get the shit out of the truck I think this weekend fucking finally. We're also going to have to figure out how to move her stuff. It would make the most sense just to use the truck; empty my stuff out. It'll be easier now that my respiratory system works and we aren't hauling shit up and down three floors. We did that in about a day. Do that Saturday, load her stuff Sunday. Just dump all of it more or less in whatever room is at the back of the house and figure it out from there.
I spent so much time living in such a dangerous city, I keep imagining that someone with ill intent is going to come upon the truck and just take what they want. And after how rainy it's been, I'm also concerned about water damage. We went to this gas station to see if I could use the ATM (I maxed out my withdrawal limit oops), and my sister was sketched out about it and I was like, this gas station ain't shit.
I am quite sad that I didn't get any beading done, and I wish my current work space had enough space to bead in while I'm at work. I could make insane progress on this piece. Next paycheck, I really need to get a chair. Like I left myself no choice. I think I'll start by getting the gaming chair; then I'll get the kneeling chair later. Thank gawd I threw out that old chair. It really did have to go.
I also can't wait to be in a space where my sister's cats can be disallowed and I can worm on my work. I've got like five thousand ideas for these seed bead plushies. After Eeyore, I want to make a Catbus, Jiji, and Luna and Artemis, and hey, since I'm collecting animated cats, let's get the Cheshire Cat from the Disney animation. I'm going to make my own Kanga and Roo patterns; Stitch and Scrump, and Cheshire Cat. I also want to make a seed bead BJD a la oksana_somati. So. Let's see how far I get on this before something else takes my attention (probably my depression, like I've conjectured before).
This beadweaving thing is something from my childhood fantasies. I always wanted to figure out how to make cool things with seed beads. I've wanted to make my own plushies for the longest time as well.
I need to acquire a decent tool that emits heat. I'm going to shrink wrap my sculptures and cut the wrap off to get the shapes for the plushies I'm going to design.
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