#ill probably make a full post about my thoughts so far later but rn i am simply vibin with my kiddo

[intothewizardverse]

family photo i took after experiencing The Horrors (got my shit rocked by BTs and a whale(???) in the forest)

[kylorens]

Solid Snake and Finn for the ask game?

hey. send me a character/ship and I'll tell you

On the og reblog I said I won't be able to write down cohesive words but I'll try bc I usually NEVER get asks on my ask game reblogs lol THANKS <3

my general perception of them

Snake: OK so if you know me, you know what I'm going to say. This man HAS ME in his chokehold, okay? This man could throw me on the ground, stomp on me and I'd thank him. Somehow in such a short time he's become one of my favorite characters of all time. He's got the heart, the look and everything. I love the fact that he never stops trying. <3 Even though the world doesn't deserve this at all!!! I love him.

also I'm more of a moobs girl but i realized the importance of ass thanks to him. I also like thighs a lot so we will sexualize the old man.

Finn: FINN IS LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAV SW CHARACTERS and I just get SO MAD thinking how badly he was treated in the trilogy. I had such high hopes for him so it was so sad to watch it all fall apart. I still think if the EU ever starts to think about continuing on where TROS left, he still could be made into a Jedi knight. I WANT TO BELIEVE. (So far the only thing we have is the LEGO movies lmfao. Even they know that Finn should be training !!)

Anyway. I always thought that giving a redemption arc to a random stormtrooper was a great idea. Imagine if he became a full on Jedi ok not going back to that whole rant I absolutely love how big hearted he is and the way he got super courageous even in the first movie alone.

OKAY I CAN'T NOT SAY IT John Boyega is hot and I'm thankful for his hair transition in the later movies - especially in TROS he was HOT ASF.

@ lucasfilm I will fight you for what you've not done for Finn.

an unpopular opinion or, failing that, a fun fact

Snake: If this was an unpopular opinion about MG in general HO BOY WOULD I HAVE A MILLION. IDK what can be said about Snake that would be unpopular. I can't think of a fun fact either. ;_; so I'll widen the question (like i want snake to widen the gap between my legs ok ill see myself out) and say that I don't like how Snake was sidelined after MGS3 was hyped so hard and he became like a secondary character the BB and this is my villain origin story,

Finn: ok again. I don't think I have anything that would be unpopular opinion about Finn since I think we majorly agree that Finn was handled very badly. But I guess I can say one thing - I don't find the way he wants to be with Rey certainly A BAD THING. She was literally the first person after Poe who believed in Finn, and him tricking her made him feel awful about it. She was one of the reasons why he had changed his ways and I love their relationship, platonic or romantic. They are the best <3

music i associate with them (if any)

Snake: OK I HAVE SO MANY I've posted lots of Muse songs with MG characters already but I'll do it again ;)

Frou Frou - Let Go (I actually have a wip with this lol)

Family of the Year - Hero (Maybe too on the nose idc)

Muse - Map of the Problematique (OK BIASED bc this is one of my top top TOP muse songs ever. kinda snox vibes actually... the animations I have in my mind every time I listen to this. I always say to myself I'm going to make something with it and never do) Muse - The Handler (Writing this down too just because I've posted this before saying it fits Snake but I had just finished MG1 then and he was all I could think about, later I felt like it could also be Raiden's song. But. He fits Citizen Erased better.) Muse - Cave

Oasis - Part of the Queue

Imogen Heap - Headlock (in my otasune playlist...)

MFÖ - Mazeretim Var Asabiyim Ben

I probably have more and will be like "ah i should have added that one" but I can't think of anymore rn

Finn: Wish it was 2014-15 and I would have been in my peak SW era and give you a million songs. I can only give meme-y songs rn

Rober Hatemo - Sana Çinden Koşarım (he sings this to Rey)

Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive (and this to Kylo lmao)

if I feel (spiritually) like I could beat them in a fight

Snake: Just NO. LMAO. I think he would just laugh at me if I even tried to.

Finn: Before TFA? Maybe. He was only a sanitation worker. But I wouldn't want to 🥺

[labyrinth-of-headcanons]

A surprise rant, yay!

Hellooo everyone,

It is I, your favorite mood destroyer, here again, to try and tell you about my problems.

Maybe something about myself lately, as there are surprisingly a few of you who are very concerned about me, which I appreciate, so quick update: I quit my job which generally made me very unhappy and depressed at the beginning of the year and am currently battling the mental illness that came because of it. So far, even if I had some very bad days and weeks - which you might have noticed too, every now and then - I’ve been doing a bit better and only recently I started therapy to work on my trauma, which hopefully will dissolve most of my problems. So far it’s going okay, only some of the medication I got are very troublesome and also mood-changing, hence why I am currently super frustrated and decided to rant a little. I want to apologize to everyone who might think I am rude today, but please understand I heavily lack the compassion right now.

First of all, maybe a few good aspects first:

Since joining the discord server you saw going around, I feel like I am improving my writing - there are a lot of very helpful and creative pupils there and I am super thankful I got to know them, plus I am currently absorbing anything I can learn and am really trying - and I decided to get it out more into the tumblrverse, hence why I am starting to tag more magi related things now. It took me a while to get to this point, as I always thought it looks quite attention-needy, but I feel like I should deserve to get more recognition for work that takes me hours sometimes (not joking, you should see me writing scenarios, it’s a disaster). So if you see the tags, please just smile and move on, this has nothing to do with you, who are already reading it!

I want to work with more prompt lists in the future, but I think I will take a step back on how I handled them till now. I will keep labeling them as specials, but all the rules and limitations are too strict for my taste at the moment. You all probably felt like this too and I just want to go back to have more leisure fun. (It’s funny to say that when I am about to complain soon hahaha)

Even though a lot was double requested lately, by now, it seems you all got the hang of it and it makes my life so much easier to not have to go on the search myself, while you get to see your request immediately, isn’t that practical? It saves time and it makes me very happy, same as that no one shortens names anymore! Just seeing the full names make me incredibly happy, thank you so much! Also, there is much more politeness lately, so I guess I did get through to you and it’s good noticing that others look out for me too.

Okay so far so good, let’s ruin moods now, shall we:

Even though I know that magi ended and snb too, I am still a bit sad to have to say that I don’t regularly get enough requests anymore for me to be able to have a 3 requests/day queue. It’s sad having to take this step back but if we do the maths, I’d at least need to get 2 requests for HC and either one more or one for scenario (3 all together) per night/day so that we can keep it running without problems. But as it seems and with how everything turned out with the manga I don’t think I can support it very much anymore, when I want to let the blog run as long as it takes for the fandom to die completely. Of course, this could change if there were a sudden rise, but if we face it truthfully, your guys must slowly be running out of ideas after 1200+ requests and I understand that. Since I actually have a few saved up requests (minus the scenarios) rn, I might let it run for 3 for two more days, but then I’ll have to change it, sorry for the disappointment though since you were probably used to the 3 a day!

As much as you guys listen to me about the topics of the other rants, there are still a few who leave a bitter taste with their requests. I do have some specific examples, but I will put them under the cut later, so do look into them. I also plan on renewing the rules soon, more info follows now:

Aside from me having to delete more requests than ever, simply because they are not doable, I just noticed that apparently a lot of you have troubles with specifying. But it’s not manageable anymore. If I was a new blog, you can do that but by now, if you have no idea in which direction your request about a popular character should go, then don’t bother sending anything in, please. Don’t bother with time and places too much, just give me a good, detailed ‘What should be happening’. There will also be a new rule which will state exactly which form of requests I am simply not going to answer anymore, including:

> One sentence requests > Requests without real happening, concerning body types > Requests without real happening, concerning characters sexuality

And some more, that I have yet to spell out on paper.

I am majorly bored by the not-existing diversity of characters. I don’t know about you guys but no matter how much I like certain characters, they get soooooo plain to write for over time. I see so many people liking all the side-characters but I am honestly doubting that since there are no requests for them at all. Of course, you don’t have to pressure yourself into it, but if you have an idea for a request, which was already used on your favorite character, why not request it for someone you are more neutral to or you like but don’t think so much about it? Also ironically I get more Hakuren/Hakuyuu requests - which I still don’t like and I won’t keep quiet about it, I ABSOLUTELY DON’T LIKE WRITING FOR THEM - than Hakuryuu and if that doesn’t make you guys think about it, I just don’t know anymore, maybe you should reread the manga or something. Here are some ideas: Hakuryuu, Aladdin, Alibaba, Kougyoku, Hakuei, Sphintus, Doron, Lo’lo, Myron, Razol, Yaqut, Masrur, Sharrkan, Yamraiha, Hinahoho, Rurumu, Pisti, Spartos, Armakan, Mira, Darius, Takeruhiko, Nanaumi, any household members of the Kou Empire, Alma Torran Characters, Arba, David, Mahad, Olba, Toto, Yunan, Badr, Esra AND SO MANY MORE

My rules are not bendable anymore and out. I am super duper agitated that my rules, my comfort zone, the things that are important to me, are just being tossed around and stepped on. If you break the rules, I don’t see any reason to be gentle anymore. There can be mistakes yes but if you regularly request than you are being incredibly rude and that’s all I am going to say about that. Plus, before you come with the argument that you couldn’t have possibly known it because you didn’t see this specific post, where I stated it, then I’d recommend reading the rules, the embodiment of everything. If that’s not something you want to do, you may leave.

Also, people starting to send in previously denied request again, why. Just why. There is a reason and if I denied it once, the chance I wanted to see it again is 0%. Congratulation for wasting time, seriously.

I really don’t know what to do anymore. This is always getting out of hand but I am seriously restless about these things. Maybe it would help if you guys would remember that in the end I am just another human being and I have limits, which you are destroying ever once in a while. I am not including all of you here, but a few of you would do good to keep down a little and use some common sense.

I do wish everyone a good start into the week and that you have a good time. If there are any questions, I am always open for conversations, you guys shouldn’t bottle things inside of you either.

Now a few responses to requests and then I’ll be in bed for now:

@little-wizard-3010 Rules are rules. I can’t exchange length of writing for another character, this is ridiculous of a demand, when I clearly state I don’t want more than two per scenario request. You could always send in the same requests multiple times, but for the moment that I’ll be writing it, I only want to concentrate on two okay. I am deleting it for now, you can think about sending it in again according to rules or not, your decision.

@ashirishadowbates You’ll need to do better than that. I don’t think characters are superficial, why does no one understand this. Maybe you all want me to be mean and make bad headcanons, but why are you not stating this then? Give me a real thing like: ‘Hi! Can I have HCs about S/o feeling insecure about being chubby at the Mahrajan, because she sees the other dancers and Sinbad comforts her. Thank you!’ That’s a reason. If they have anxiety and that’s all of the information I am going to get, you’d be better off going in the comfort tag and enjoy yourself. Also what is going to be chubby change with nsfw? I am chubby and that sure as hell does not make me different in any aspect of life. Sex is not a problem solver, or else I just found out what I am doing wrong the last few years. Give. Me. A reason to do your request. You want something proper? Then give me something proper.

Well, would you have read the actual post, you would have seen I had a deadline there. Pretty bold you’d still send in a request so many weeks later wow. You’ve got guts.

[santiagostyle]

U kno what plot twist ill only ask u for all the even numbers this time!!! Unless any of the odd ones involve music bc i know those are the ones u rly wanna answer so

MARK THE DAY KIDS JO IS BEING NICE TO ME

anyway this is a hella long post lmao s o r r y

2. name your favourite books; why are they your favourite books and do they affect your writing?

my all time favourite is To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee which like,, I feel like it doesn’t really affect my writing but it definitely reignited my love for literature which I guess consequently led to me getting back into writing??

also the A to Z of You and Me by James Hannah literally ripped out my heart and stomped on it and I’m seriously pretty sure I finished it within a few hours of starting it. That one probably does affect my writing because it’s very angsty but also in terms of style it’s pretty fragmented which is kinda the direction I tend to go in so!!!

I’m yet to make it past the first chapter but the style of Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy is,,, everything 

not technically a book but I’m a theatre major so ofc i’m gonna include a play!!! 4.48 Psychosis by Sarah Kane ripped my heart out, tore it to pieces, threw it on the ground and stomped on it (also side note it took me a solid week and a half to recover from watching it performed live). the style is so abstract and disjointed and strange and fragmented but it’s so so perfect and absolutely heartbreaking (also big ass trigger warning if you’re thinking about looking it up)

ALSO i got about halfway through before life got in the way so I didn’t get the chance to finish it but I absolutely adore the style of Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury and like,,, fun fact I’m actually related to him so ???? i guess writing runs in the family ????? and yeah there are some small parts of that book that I read and thought ‘this sounds like something i would write’ just because i feel like we have pretty similar styles4. why do you like writing? what inspired you to put paper to pen?

I guess I haven’t ever really been happy just living one life or doing one thing at a time so,,,, I write 6. tag any writers that you want to collab with!

hoooooo boy um ?? literally ?? everyone??? but specifically @elsaclack @startofamoment @kasuchi @peraltiagoisland and my girl @johnnydora but for real i wanna write with EVERYONE 8. how many wip do you currently have? which one is your favourite as of the moment?

HA HA HA HA HA for real I literally have like,,, 4 Big Major Fics in the works and then like 11-12 little drabble things also in progress (and by in progress I mean I’ve thought about them and done absolutely nothing else)10. describe your writing in five sentences or less.

sentences suck imma do dot points

- I can’t write chronologically and the beginning of a story is usually the last thing I do

- I have a tendency to write ‘moments’ as opposed to actual full fledged stories if that makes sense? like I find it so much easier to write little ‘scenes’ or slices of life so i often use quite a few time jumps because i find it so difficult to write the stuff that occurs in between big moments

- i always spend so much time and so many words describing the littlest details because those are what i think are most important 

- literally everything i write has a song associated with it and i can’t write without music 

- i either use really long super flowery descriptive sentences, or sentences with like 3 words in them. there is no in between 

12. what do you associate with each of your stories? with your writing in general?

I mean I’ve only published two (2) things on here/ao3 so far but like I mentioned before the music thing so I suppose i associate particular songs with each of my stories?

but also like in general all of my writing comes from a really intense emotional place and like, even if I’m unsure of how my?? mental state?? is doing at a particular time, it comes through in my writing. so if i suddenly only wanna write fluff i know i’m doing okay, whereas i kinda have to be sad to write something angsty like the hellfic14. write a personal history/mini autobiography/author description that you don’t mind sharing.

smol anxious tina fey wannabe spends too much time crying in her room thinking about so many stories while putting off actually writing 16. three pieces of other’s writing that people need to read to understand your inspirations and you?

alright i know like everyone and their dog has already read it but foR REAL @elsaclack‘s sleepwalking changed my goddamn life alright it was literally everything i had ever wanted in a fic and i am still Shooktd to this day okay frick

Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho is also a book that is very important to me and I think everyone should read it 

Neighbourhood Watch by Lally Katz is the first play that actually made me cry just by reading it (like, I didn’t see it live, I cried reading the actual text) because god there’s so much emotion and so many issues that it deals with that are very close to my heart and it reminded me a lot of some people I’m very close to so!!!!18. make a playlist for people to listen to if they want to understand you.

AIGHT I DON’T HAVE TIME TO DO AN ACTUAL PLAYLIST RN BUT I’M GONNA EDIT THIS LATER AND ADD A LINK BUT FOR NOW HERE ARE SOME OF MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE SONGS:

America - XYLØ

Young Blood - The Naked and Famous

Go Bang - PNAU

Sucker - Peaches

Raspberry Beret - Prince

Salvation - The Cranberries

Hero - Regina Spektor

Caught - Florence + The Machine

Time (Video Version) - Stray Dogg & Devendra Banhart

Leaving the City - Joanna Newsom

September 22nd - Brock Berrigan

Havana - Camila Cabello

Queen of Peace - Florence + The Machine

Regular Touch - Vera Blue

Here I Lie - Marika Hackman

Maneater - Nelly Furtado 

Kiwi - Harry Styles

Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON

Baby I Call Hell - Deap Vally

Motel - Meg Myers20. describe your writing life in one sentence. 

I have been writing since I could hold a pen, and telling stories since before then22. your favourite characters to write and why.

oBVIOUSLY JAKE AND AMY but like I think I find Jake just a tiiiiiny bit easier to write because I’m always talking about Amy, like, externally??24. name one fact about yourself that you want your readers to know about you.

for real i’ve literally been writing since i could hold a pen. my mum still has ‘books’ i wrote when i was 3 about the adventures of my teddy bear lmfao26. what are your writing goals for the week? for the month? for the year? how many words/poems do you write per week?

HAHAHAHH WELLLLLL i was meant to be doing nanowrimo this month but then some Things happened so it hasn’t really gotten done. my biggest writing goal at the moment is to make some soliddddd progress on the hellfic (it’s all planned and a lot of the next chapter is written i just,,, can’t make the words work atm) so!!!

also i pretty much write when i have ideas?? which is,,, not often unfortunately

[deliciouskook-blog]

We don’t talk anymore (Jikook Cover) Scenario  Jungkook x Reader

Hello guys

This is my first Tumblr post and first fanfiction inspired by the beautiful cover released by JUNGKOOOK&JIMINNN 'We don't talk anymore'. I know Jungkook has done the cover alone before but I think this version is more powerful and made me feel things as many of you would probably relate and Jimin's sweet voice is everything I love him so much..... I'm in tears rn :'(

Anyways so when i heard this song i just grabbed my lapotp and typed this, its raw and not proofread and was literally just me blabbering cos of the feels i got from the cover and so i imagined a really sad relationship. I hope you enjoy it!!

I don't know if anyone's going to even read this but my friend told me to post it anyway so if you like it please give me some love!!! I accept requests <3 and would probably write better if i wasnt so emo ahhahahahahahahhaha (i shouldnt lie to myself ill never stop feeling emo while stanning bts)

Word count: 1.9k

Y/N POV

It’s been a long time since you felt the spark that initially ignited your relationship, you always had to put your 100% and felt like it was dying anyway, there was nothing that can be done to save it and that’s when you thought it was time to start seeing someone else and move on.

You called him a day before you decided to forget the hell that you have been through because of him but like all the previous calls that turned to voicemail this time was no different.

It was the familiar female voice again ‘the mobile number you have called is not available...’

You felt ashamed that he has put you through this and hurt your pride, because no matter how much you called he just wont answer.

Y/N: ‘jungkook I need to speak to you’ – delivered at 10:31 pm

‘please just answer the phone..’ – delivered at 10:32 pm

‘jungkook’ – delivered at 10:32 pm

but nothing

5 minutes later… the messages were checked as ‘opened’

So she decided to call again but there was no answer.

Jungkook: ‘I wish you could stop calling me at night you know im at practice’ ‘I wont answer I’m working so good night’ – opened at 10:40 pm

Y/N: ‘why are you like this?’ ‘whats wrong?’ – opened at 10:41 pm

Jungkook: ‘nothing is wrong’ – opened at 10:42 pm

Y/N: ‘don’t lie to me can you please call me back after practice?’ – opened at 10:42 pm

Jungkook: ‘yeah.. later’ – opened at 10:45 pm

You stayed up all night waiting for his call it was an agonisingly slow night but you waited for him to call you like a fool anyway. 3AM came around and still no call. He never practices this late.

So you decided to call one more time. And unexpectedly there was an answer.

‘hello? Jungkook?’

silence

‘yeah… wussup’

he sounded drunk and you were speechless…

‘werent you at practice? Why are you drunk’

‘im not drunk’

‘well okay then what are you’

‘im jungkook’

no shit

‘ok jungkook we need to talk but I cant talk to you if your drunk’

‘youre already talking so carry on… what is this 39 missed calls all about’

‘where are you, can I see you? and if you answered the first call there wouldn’t be 39’

‘no im going home now so just say what you want’

‘okay… I just don’t think this is going to work out between us’

silence

‘jungkook’

then he laughed sarcastically

‘are you breaking up with me?’

‘yeah I jus-‘

‘okay then’

‘jungkook I need to tell you why’

‘I don’t.. think I care…’

= call ended=

Jungkook woke up with a severe headache. The time was already 2 past noon and he had no idea what hes done the night before but all he could remember was drinking so much.

The truth is he didn’t know why he drank so much in fact he didn’t know why he gave up doing anything besides work the past few month, he knew his relationship with you was dying slowly and he knew It was his fault but the Wings tour and his musical career was eating him and was far more important, at least in the company and BTS’ eyes.

He thought that you could wait for him but his career cant, he knew it was selfish and hard but he had no other choice and he didn’t know better, because he was only 19 and he could only handle so much.

You woke up around the same time, you didn’t get time to sleep at all from crying over the ended phone call, you knew it would be hard but you had to move on. You knew you didn’t deserve him and that made your relationship rocky at first, but as jungkook told you he loved you repeatedly, you slowly gained confidence and learnt to love yourself too but that all came crashing down because he clearly doesn’t love you anymore.

You knew the only way you would get over him is erasing him completely from your life which included blocking his phone number, for his own good you knew he was a good guy and probably would try to befriend you after these 3 years but you couldn’t handle seeing him as not yours, but just a friend. You took out your phone and as you unlocked it, you saw the selfie you had at their last date together and couldn’t help but cry even more because all that has to go too.

= 3 months passes by=

Authors PV

As you slowly learnt how to live life from scratch, Y/N served another caramel late to who seemed to be a distressed customer. She had quit her old job which was close to big hit’s main building and decided on a new beginning.

Within these 3 months she had met a guy who’s a regular at the café named Zico, he would throw way too many compliments about the coffee than one would give but she found it cute as at least for what seemed like years, she’s started to receive the attention she craved… but she cant help but think of jungkook whenever she sees him wishing that he would be the one who would give her these compliments and taste coffee that she only recently learnt to master but obviously that life doesn’t exist anymore.

But as she is in south korea, bts are increasingly becoming a hot topic and their songs were played everywhere as if her memories of him weren’t enough reminder.

Slowly Y/N got to know Zico even more, and naturally they dated. She couldn’t deny how good he treats her, maybe its because it’s a new relationship but he was there when she texted and even called her when she didn’t turn up for work because she was sick. He showed that he cares. Jungkook didn’t.

On a fated evening, when the new couple chose to walk next to the Han river a familiar figure stood on the way walking with what seemed another familiar figure but she chose to ignore it and continue walking holding hands with her new lover.

What Y/N dont know is jungkook has been growing crazy the last 3 months, he had tried to reach you so many times, he doesn’t remember the phone call that night and he thought that you ended the relationship alone and hasn’t decided to even talk it with him. He missed you so much and every day he realised how much of it was his fault, it was his fault that you had left your old job, your neighbourhood, changed your number and disappeared. He wished you were happy but deep down he hoped like himself that you weren’t able to forget him.

Then he saw you walking, he looked at jimin who was trying to distract him from the sight that he has also seen. Jungkook felt angry and tried to contain himself, but soon after he was washed with feelings of sadness and regret, deciding to walk up to you anyway.

‘Y/N ?’

you looked at him with surprised eyes, which Zico has returned to you in confusion.

‘can you give me a minute?’ you said to Zico who nodded and walked away

‘you look well’ you said to him

‘is that all you have to say to me’ he said to you with tears in his eyes

‘I don’t remember you wanting me to say anything at all… but say what?’ you replied returning a hurt face.

‘why you left me like this’ he said looking down knowing exactly what you left but he had to hear you say it

‘you didn’t want to hear it.. remember?’ you said to him as you laughed away your tears

‘what are you talking about?’ he asked you

‘you said to me you didn’t want to hear it, remember you were kind of drunk actually but I knew if I didn’t tell you right there and then, you would never pick up’ you admitted

‘you couldve texted me at least’ he said defeated

‘you don’t even reply anyway… I need to go’ you walked away

then he watched you combining your hands with your new lover as you continue walking. Jungkook went back to the company’s building with Jimin who tried to comfort him, he saw the pain that Jungkook went through the past few months, but he couldn’t deny that he was the one who screwed it up for himself.

Jungkook entered the studio where he was meant to record aimlessly, he always overworked himself when he was feeling lonely or sad and today he was broken. He scrolled down his Spotify playlist and encountered a song named ‘We don’t talk anymore – By Charlie Puth’, it was always there but he never really bothered to listen to it, but tonight he tapped ‘PLAY’.

By the end of the song he was sobbing, he remembered how much he wanted to come back to you when he had a day full of schedule, he expected you to be there texting him sweet words when he couldn’t make it to dates because he couldn’t perfect his practice, celebrate happy occasions with you but there must be a good reason that she left him he thought laughing to himself as he related to the lyrics of the song. He was so drawn to the song that he decided to cover it hoping that the fans would like it too, but more importantly as a message to his gone girl.

=3 weeks forward=

‘Did you hear the songs Jungkook released this month’ said a co-worker to the other ‘No no what is it called? Put it on’ the other one replied

They played the cover that the entire of nation of Korea has been obsessing over, and for the first time the you heard it. And you felt as if you were shot in the heart. You could hear the sincerity in his voice and realised how the hell did things come this far, because you couldn’t imagine your life without him no matter what.

‘I need to go somewhere can you cover for me please? you said to one of the coworkers and ran outside the café to big hit, cursing yourself for deleting his phone number.

And as you ran to the building you asked the familiar security who still remembers you if jungkook can be called down.

You felt like life at that moment was like a ticking bomb and you needed to tell him whatever you were feeling at that moment, you’ll probably regret it but at this moment you didn’t care.

But it was too late as you saw him walking down the stairs with another girl’s hand around his. You felt like you were shot a second time, this time earning a much severe injury. You laughed at the thoughts you had, the he sang this for you – it might’ve had no meaning at all. With tears running down your cheeks you ran before he could notice you catching a TAXI, but he did see you and realised that you came back. Jungkook let go of the girl’s hand to run after you but it was too late… he watched the TAXI drive off.

Many tears were shed that day.

[brialavellan]

tw for long post, all kinds of abuse, ableism

saarebitch replied to your post

“D0 N0T REB!0G this or I will block you so fucking fast. Warning for...”

Cutting someone off is always difficult, but I cant even imagine how hard this is for you. Youre very brave. All my love and support <3

Yallah, thank you for this. It is very hard. I try not to dwell and people keep telling me to just leave it alone but I have slept on it and thought about it over and over and I don’t even want an apology, or contact. No response would be IDEAL.

I just want her to know that both of her daughters have disowned her (my sister did it way before me, and blocked her number) and we will never speak to her again because of her selfishness. 

I just need to be heard one last time.

And I did wait to do this until my insurance ran out at 26 so I could take advantage of her paying for my Tricare but ya know what? I have no regrets. She tried to coerce me into paying for it myself when the cost of Tricare Prime YA is over 300 a month. Which is fucking hilarious because I was unemployed b/c of poor mental health and homeless for almost a whole year, and only make 1300 a month (which is kinda-shit pay for the DC Metro Area - x), and she makes close to 200K a year - MINUS all the military benefits she gets for being a Butter Bar Bitch, and minus ALL the tax cuts she got for fostering (and later) adopting me.

She brought it up way too early when living with her for only 6 months for the money. She got a 17K REFUND as opposed to having to pay taxes. 

As far as I’m concerned, I’m just getting the money back that I was supposed to receive. That was all I asked her to pay for. I never asked for a single cent towards anything else.

sirconnie

replied to your post

“D0 N0T REB!0G this or I will block you so fucking fast. Warning for...”

as someone with a biological mom who'll likely be getting a very similar text at some point in the future i can say that this is probably not rude enough. it's good though very civil without coddling. u said ur piece and she can take it however she's going to. sorry you have to deal w/ this

Oh yeah, I was WAY too nice. I didn’t even touch on:

1. Restricting my food intake (not like that’s not triggering as fuck for a kid with a history of being starved b/c poverty and as punishment for being “fat” all my life)

2. Triggering me by screaming at me and following me around and cornering me in rooms when she knows I have PTSD related to that. One time, it was so bad that I literally started banging my head against the wall and screaming so loudly that I lost my voice completely for three days. And she called it a “temper tantrum”.

3. Picking fights over the slightest shit and grinding me down even when I acquiesce, including gaslighting me on the regular.

4. Berating me in public to the point of tears. Especially related to eating the “wrong” food. Or my posture. We literally had a huge fight over resting my elbows and boobs on the table when I have double GG tits and a short torso. No choice when the table comes up to my boobs and I have a deformed back from said boobs.

5. Minimizing my illnesses - Accusing me of “selective hearing” (even when I tested positive for Auditory Processing Disorder) and saying I wasn’t trying hard enough re: getting better from my mental illness. Forced me to go to school full-time or part-time and work as well or she’d kick me out when I was in no way well enough to do anything except maybe one or two classes at best and was attending hospital day programs almost all the time and being hospitalized every 6 months like clockwork. Whenever I was angry or upset with her, her first response was “have you taken your medication recently?”

5. Financial abuse - Forcing me to work jobs I wasn’t mentally well enough to work to pay her back any money she spent on me - including food, clothes and toiletries - with 10 percent interest if I missed a payment. In a way, I self-financed my entire associate’s degree; I just owned her money instead of a loan servicer or the college b/c of her. Also ironically forbade me from getting a job while I was going to school full-time but also refused to pay for any essentials and refusing to allow me to take out ANY loans. 

She told me if I ever left her house that I’d fail, and ya know what, that’s not true. I DID get academically dismissed from UMD because of mental health and yea, it’s hard making ends meet. But I have my own apartment. I make decent money for what I do (still shit but it’s better than my old job) and I love doing it, and college is still an option in the future. And I make the same or more than a lot of my friends without a huge mountain of school debt hanging over my head rn so....fuck her. Success is the best revenge.

[survivorinternational]

Episode 3 - "I wish you were BORN in 1920 so you wouldn't be in this org" - Emily

I was close to getting an idol without searching more than twice. Michael told me he had been gathering info and narrowed down to three locations, I had already searched one so thats two. Tyler was going to search one, micheal the other. So i thought: if i beat one of them to an idol search i will have it without then knowing. But idol was gone, rip. At least I have an alliance now, i like tyler idk about michael though. Anyone who can gather that much idol info must be shady to some degree. 

I am pretty good at Semantris but we are not winning this challenge.

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Oh yeah I guess maybe I shouldn't try too hard to not be a challenge target at merge. I guess I'll try to get the promised 6k ; my top 5 scores are 6k - 9k for comparison so it might not be the easiest thing. 

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So far Vilma, Richmond (Clash) and Ginger have said they will attend the watch-together. Hopefully we have a good time. 

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Day 5: God that music video is hilarious... basic... but funny Immunity win! YES! Still undefeated as a tribe. Continue to build social relations. Worked out most places that have been searched... Maybe i should do a spread sheet. Tomorrow Me and Tyler will search the last few places and hopefully find the idol. Day 6: GG Ruthie. Reward challenge, Word association, ok. Idol search has produced nothing... This is concerning... Someone must have it by now but no-one is saying. My guess is that its Stephen. Dean is more distant, this is also concerning. Dean is sitting out this challenge. Approached Tyler and Stephen about an alliance, Its going ahead, invited Jacob to be a 4th. If all goes to plan, I should know where all votes are going atm, It seems that most players trust me the most and are willing to work with me, but this is a double edge sword. Talk of a swap is happening... god i hope not yet.

So Laelaps comes up and tells me that there's an alliance of 4 forming with me not inside - Tyler, Stephen, Jacob and himself. Yes it does give me some comfort that he's told me and that we're still sticking together, but I don't like being possibly on the outside 4 to 2. I'm just trusting in my alliance of Jacob and Laelaps that even if they're playing both sides they'd rather take me, and I'm trying to appear less threatening to save myself here.

I hate to sound like that brawn comp beast girl but my tribe is full of inbreds and incapable of doing anything well. first of all, our music video was SHIT because only me and patrick actually tried and contributed something worth anything. second, this flash game is literally so easy..... and they're all like uWu I can't do it :/ like are y'all dumb dumb STUPID dumb? like what's up man? I've been doing this for like an hour at most and I've been getting 4400+ consistently and Patrick goes "my high score is 1920" bitch WHAT I wish you were BORN in 1920 so you wouldn't be in this org that was mean I'm kidding lol but im not I hate this tribe they're all so BORING I need some different timezones in my life. someone put vilma on my tribe. I don't know her and post season I really hope she doesn't think these confessionals are creepy. vilma I want to be your best friend everyone on my tribe sucks ): also last vote (sorry I didn't make a confession about it early) was okay - Ruthie wanted to go so we voted her out. ): rip her I love her so much. I was really looking forward to playing with her. but the good thing was it was easy and simple. if we go to tribal again idk if it'd be as simple lol. also im so bad at talking to these people???? they're so bland!!! maybe others are talking but im certainly not getting anywhere socially except with randy occasionally. I'd want to work with randy or Patrick. im not the biggest fan of liana or Daniel so if we went to tribal again that's who id want to go. I think I could make it happen too. maybe? who knows maybe they have it out for me fjdlkasjflas uhhhh okay bye bye

if the 24 hour challenge is word race i will flip 

I love European Michael, he is the best European. 

During the word making immunity challenge the Europeans were up at 4am kicking our butts and Tyler who isnt participating starts talking about a European girl on their tribe that seems to be good at everything so I go to check and I think it's Vilma and want to confirm with him. Then the next word we had to make was coincidentally V5, so guess what I wrote xD 

I think I'm coming off bossy in my tribe. Which I don't want to seem. But everything has got to be perfect and in order so there are no mistakes. We must win. 

You know what? im going to bed. If we lose the challenge so be it, itll be healthy to vote someone out. I am not slugging away through a 24hr challenge against a beast. I’m just not. And if Veni whats to make himself known as a challenge beast, he can do that, I’ll just be gunning for him come merge/swap. I know other people might do the same. But, you know, good for him.

So the w9 game is going on and my tribe has 3 and the others have 20 so it’s like for sure that we’re going to tribal tomorrow. And I have professed my love for randy and he returned it and I like Emily and we’re talking about our idol searches, so that’s 3 of 5 already. My tribe is just like a very quiet tribe nobody talks besides Emily. When I saw how good the other tribes music videos were I got very concerned about their amount of communication compared to ours. Idk who I want to vote out I think I like David a little more but I’ll see what the other two think. 

I am literally so happy I've got such devoted comp beasts like Vilma and Veni in my tribe ! And we're also close allies ;) It's cool, I don't need to slay comps to win this... I just need my social skills with me and they can continue to write words :) 

Patrick keeps calling Daniel David and if that doesn't tell you enough about my tribe idk what does. but who does it say more about? Patrick or Daniel? honestly who cares. Patrick, Randy, and I kind of banded together like "we're the only active ones lol let's vote together" so I think it's gonna be Daniel! sorry but the dude does NOT speak. and I know this is his first org over here and we're super boring... I feel bad. but yeah he's also boring! and he's sort of good at comps but not really dude. so I think it's gonna be him. after this tribal, im pretty sure that we are tribe swapping. yay final 14! I don't mind going to tribal honestly. I feel safe because I'm slightly more active than some of the other people. like it's sad to say im the most active member of my tribe but im constantly out with my friends or at work or neglecting my responsibilities. oopsie! yeah so im gonna hope and pray no one is planning a blindside on me but like if they were they'd be fucking stupid also there's no god damn way they're pulling something they don't care enough? like genuinely this tribe is so quiet. it's not that they're not talking to me. it's that they are not here. that makes the pre-merge easy for me because I can control what happens on my tribe for the time being... because it's easy? and everyone kind of thinks of me as a leader I think? because I TRY. that's IT. anyway lol yeah my plan is to vote out Daniel. and then swap onto a tribe with Vilma pls 

Our tribe results: *posted early in the afternoon that we lost* Tribe: *doesnt talk to me* Me, a few hours later: *messages everyone trying to start a conversation and no one responds for a while* Emily: *responds once and goes offline * Pat: *responds once* Emily: *gets back online and I see both her and Pat's green circles but neither has responded to me* Me: "are you bitches conspiring against me?" Whatever I will probably have to play my idol and I am thinking about playing it against pat or Emily.  Daniel is just new so that's a good excuse for him. 

If it wasn't a double tribal we'd all still be here but unfortunately we have to go to tribal tonight. Tonight for me could go very simply, keep my alliance of Michael and Jacob happy by voting out Dean who no one seems to have connections with, but I am getting a bit paranoid because besides Tyler, knowing seems to be talking to me or continuing my conversations which to me is a telltale sign that you're not included. The good thing is that I do have an idol and if I need to play it I will because better safe than sorry. 

All right, so we’ve got alliances out the wazoo rn. Along with a heavy handed dash of loose lips. So tyler tells me that sluggy made an alliance with everyone but me and dean, then sluggy tells me he had a super early alliance with michael and jacob. All this tells me that Micheal especially is playing the middle, being in two alliances with him already myself. It also tells me that sluggy cannot be trusted with info. But sureeee ill be in a 2man alliance with you sluggy -_- Right now I dont trust anyone, even tyler, but ill keep this info to myself, if sluggys playing me this might be a test to see if i tell tyler or anyone else. I just need to make sure I lay low and keep the target off my back. Fingers crossed I don’t get blindsided, but at least I know I am in no way in control of this tribe, keeps me on my toes. 

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So i think ive settled things enough to feel safe, i think everyones voting dean, deans voting jacob. The only wildcard is jacob who wants to split, but doesnt know who. Tbh if he does i dont want him to tell me who it is, ill only feel guilty if he does. As long as it aint me right? 

I guess to summarise the word race because I doubt I did confessionals during that. - Michael the helper was really cool and I really enjoyed our banter in tribe chat hopefully we cross paths again. We did add eachother on Snachat. - Me and Vilma once again were the most dedicated scoring 34/35 for our tribe together. She is absolutely my ride or die partner in this and I will do anything to get one of us to win the thing. - Survivor Africa watch was good, we watched the first 3 episodes though it was just me and Vilma (see the trend?). Sadly apparently that will become illegal if we swap and are not on the same tribe which is pretty sad. - Swap is incoming, everyone knows that. Question is, will it be entirely random? If so, I flipped a coin to test my luck and it failed me. My predictions have been on point this season so moral of the story: this swap won't work well for me. - ALSO I CALLED THAT IT'S WORD RACE I HATE YOU ALL BECAUSE I AM TOO DEDICATED FOR MY OWN GOOD GODDAMNIT peace out homedogs 

After that intense tribal council I am shaking so much, I did get to talk to Stephen and Tyler a bit alone afterwards in the call so it was nice to be able to get a feel for their true feelings without the disguise of text. At this point if Dean didn't have that idol, either Michael/Stephen have it, or it hasn't been found yet. The good news is that with it being final 14 i can expect a tribe swap into 2 tribes of 7, and that gives a lot of room for bonding, I'll continue to do what I've been doing with the friendliness and hopefully I'm not just swapped alone. I can always try to weasel my way into the cracks of a team if I am, but I'm not quite ready to play the victim card, I still have a long stretch of game left in me before I do that. 

Well what's cooking is that I really really think it's gonna be me this vote lol, no one has talked to me and well, yeha 

2 immunity wins in a row hell yeah! Ngl, I wasn't SUPER worried about this one because if we lost, I think it was almost certain that Ginger would go. Ginger didn't submit in the last immunity and barely helped in this one and has barely spoken to any of us. Clash and I had a call the other day which was good and gave us an opportunity to discuss a bit of game which was good. We talked about who we liked/disliked and I found out that he knows Ginger but doesn't like him. It's almost certain that next round is a tribe swap and I'm praying I get put with Clash. Right now, my ranking of who I'd want to go forward with is probably : Clash>Vilma>Veni>Ginger 

Oh bless at us winning but at the same time I don’t trust ginger so idk if that’s the best but let’s hope for the best and hope I am in a tribe with Vilma and randy next tribe swap hehe 

Where is this idol?? No one claims to have found it and I sure haven't either. Could use a clue right now. Too bad my tribe mates didn't agree, since THREE of them STRIKED at the reward challenge. I literally burst into laughter when I saw that. My I C O N I C fail of a tribe. Veni and I are the only ones who truly care about challenges. Well Allan cares a bit as well, but he also seems to have a life, so, I'm happy for him, although jealous! But I bet we would've lost every single pre merge challenge if Veni and I weren't overly enthusiastic about them. I just hate tribal, okay? Plus I guess I admit I'm somewhat competitive, because I don't think I could handle just throwing a challenge without trying at all. That would feel simply wrong. Veni and I went all out in the immunity challenge too, we napped in shifts and made sure one of us was around throughout the entire challenge so we had the possibility to score a point at all times. Plus we made a huge ass google sheet so we could just copy and paste answers whenever a new letter got posted. The first 15-17 hours or so I thought the Aussie tribe was for sure going to beat us (they were soooooo fast, but so was Veni thank god), but I guess they got sleepy by the end and we won!!!! YAYYYYY NO TRIBAL Veni almost posted a gif of himself as a chicken to the challenge chat I would've died if we got a warning for that He meant to post it on tribe chat https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/410716559632367616/599331778934603786/mmm_veni_2.gif I don't know who I'd vote if we went to tribal that's why I really would like to avoid it Plus I'm scared Veni and I's activity is pissing people off Don't wanna go home yet I'm having fun Ugh fuck I'm losing focus LOOK AT THAT FOUR AUSSIES GOING AGAINST ONE LITTLE ME HELP Ugh Veni will be busy in about 30 mins and then I'm gonna be in big trouble At least he let me shower I feel like a human again But it'll be tough If I was normal I'd just chill but I don't have it in me I don't know how to chill I love winning too much I gotta get that bag It's a thug life It's a thug life WE WON CHALLENGE WE GOT A BIG LEAD THEY CANT CATCH UP FUCK YEEE I CAN SLEEP EARLIER I am just glad we don't have to vote anyone out Would've sucked I feel like these past 24 hours brought closer together So I would've hated it if someone had to leave (Especially if it was me) But F14!! WOOP We're surely going to swap after the double tribal and I'm excited but scared!!! Excited because I'm ready to meet some new faces even though I've grown a liking to my flop tribe, and scared because I feel after the last challenge it's pretty apparent Veni and I were the more active members of our tribe and we could get targeted for that. My plan is to try to lay a bit low at swap, but still make sure I get to know everyone one on one to make solid new connections. I really hope I don't get swapfucked, hope to remain in the same tribe with as many og Faatasi as possible. Let's go!

Damn work keeping me to busy to do confessionals. Reward Challenge: This appears easier as we go on. Quite enjoy this. Aim for over 5000. Got 7200 in one of my first tries... Aim is 10,000 Settled for 8200, sick of looking at my screen. Some of these word associations don't make sense. Who doesn't associate Video games with words like Play or fun... REWARD CHALLENGE WIN! AWWW YER!!! Comfort Items get! And in comfort items... A Vote Blocker!!! BOO YAH!!! Immunity Challenge: I called this 12 hours before the challenge began. I am a legend. Seems that most people are busy this weekend. I will do what I can but i will be busy for a good 6 hours of it as well Veni and Vilma are thorns in my side with this, they just type so quick VENI DOESNT SLEEP WTF!!! I cant keep up, I tried my hardest but cant keep going at 3am. We lost :( Tribe life: Current Alliances: The UHC Alliance, The Idol Hunters Alliance. Sluggy has suggested an Alliance between Tyler, Jacob, himself and me which I agree to. Vote is very straight forward, We are all voting Dean as he isn't very active unfortunately. I wanted to try and keep him around but I think I was the only one chatting to him. If Dean has an Idol then it will be Jacob going, which is also fine with me as I think Jacob will be a hindrance later in the game Dean is voted out 5-1 The idea of a swap is brought up, which we all agree is likely to happen. In the UHC chat, Sluggy brings up the point that Veni could spill the beans about knowing each other out of this survivor. Its a good point and I really didnt want to but I told my Idol Hunter Alliance about the fact I knew Jacob, Sluggy and Veni outside of the game but I play each survivor without using my relationships from outside the game effect it.

RIGHT so here we go again u crack heads. Hate u all, this is for round 3 btw so dont get it TWISTED, sorry I made a VIDEO confessional and forgot to post it OOPSIES. Anywho, like the who’s from whovillie here we are partying minding our own business, well me at least because while I went out clubbing everyone else had to do the challenge. Sorry about it. They all love me anyway so ALL good in the HOOD. Here we are thriving Michael is absolutely carrying the team. So while the challenge was popping off Sluggy approached me asking if I was in any alliance, I high key avoided the question and just said who im trying to trust, and HIGH KEY dropped hints that dean wasn’t one of those people. He start saying if we should make an alliance chat, I was elated by the idea and smiles were HAD. The alliance included Myself, Sluggy, Michael and Jacob which is everyone expect Dean and Stephan. This is the exact same as the other alliance chat but without Stephan and Sluggy in his place! I like Stephan tho, so I went and dibba dobbed on sludgy real quick, like a speed demon u could say. Sluggy was out here trying to make ME make the alliance chat, like no thank u that can be UR job I need to tell people I was DRAGGED into it so I CANT make it SORRY. Anywho he made it. So we accidentally LOST the challenge, and much to my SURPRISE due to my lovely CONNECTIONS with these lovely people! I wasn’t targeted at all even tho I sat out and went clubbing. Yee haw, I exclaimed out of excitement. My target is Dean going into this tribal. A.) he seemed really arrogant and annoying during the music video round. b.) his video submission gave me NIGHTMARES now I can’t even hug my pillow without feeling UNSAFE and C.) we dont talk. So ooop here come the kiddies lining up in formation asking what we should do for the vote. Ooo I want to vote Dean but I simply never say it because im not a GOOSE well I try not to be a GOOSE. I say how I feel good with … but never include dean, I then wait for them to say anything negative about dean and oops I agree real quick and keep the convo focused on dean. People were talking in a alliance chats but I was highkey ignoring them because I COULDNT BE BOTHERED I talked to everyone in pm’s tho, love that for me. So Michael is over here being everyones friend so I threw him just a BIT under the bus for a later date. Like I built the ramp and the final destination is under the bus but we aint gonna push him yet. ANYWAY Dean went home yay he will be missed just not by me. 

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 5 Confessionals

aw man i was looking forward to playing with adam

im starting an alliance to get out jordan pines

Wow so a lot has happened. First and most importantly, I HAVE AN IMMUNITY IDOL???? LIKE WHOEVER AT ULTA IS MY GUARDIAN ANGEL AND DECIDED TO GIVE THAT TO ME I LITERALLY OWE MY ENTIRE LIFE TO THEM. Maybe they thought I was in danger since I wasn't at the immunity challenge? I don't know what it was but damn and I glad they're looking out for me. Jordan Pines told me that Jay is a little weary of trusting me which is like ????? i've never given him any reason not to trust me but w/ever. I lowkey think Jordan may have said the same thing to Jay about me so that he has both of us not trusting the other and only trusting him: i see you Jordan Pines!!! Also my tribe is dunb because I need to sleep soon but mone of them are talking to me in the tribe chat so it's their fault I only have 4 songs for this challenge katiecan’t believe we won when ya’ll were all struggling to figure out what songs were in that sdhljshdsd

Get shook because Jay is in a good position early for the first time in 3 seasons! Everyone on this tribe thinks I'm their best friend and I love it. The plan going forward is to work with Jordan if we lose, or if we win and swap; get Katie, Charlotte, Carson, or Zach to work with me. If we lose, I'm gonna target Ryan. I think I have a better bond with Lexi than both Jordan and Luke. So maybe I'll be able to be Lexi's lifeline after that. If for some reason we don't swap and we lose again, I'll take my shot at Pines. But that seems unlikely. Winning twice seems mostly out of the question, but I think I'm in this game for the long haul. At least I hope I am.

we keep losing. Why? I don't usually lose challenges so its very weird for me to..... lose. It's getting harder each round too, like i had no intentions of voting adam off anywhere near this early but we had to. and if we lose again.... oh boy, not gonna be fun.

Wish a host would tell me: Congratulations! You did not earn a task but you did earn an Idol Clue! The Ulta Idol is located along the river on the bottom of the map. With this clue you have earned an additional guess this round!. Instead of: Congratulations! You found a Hidden Immunity Idol! However....you found the Copa idol. You have 1 hour to decide which member of the Copa Tribe gets this idol! DSFDSFHDSJFH! But anyways now that I know that its along the river on the bottom of the map I can have a better show I guess. I think we might lose this immunity due to us not being able to be on at the same time. So... YIKES

Okay so I just was informed that I received the wishing well task! My task wasn't super bad, and I told Carson/Charlotte about it. Was that a mistake? Yes. Charlotte and I are not on best terms right now, which i'll explain in a bit. I completed the task and got the Golden Rope. I think it may be really good, and i'm excited to use it in merge phase if I make it that far. If I get eliminated, i'll likely give it to Carson. I'm hoping we win immunity again though AJSDGK The reason why Char and I aren't on good terms is because I totally flipped on our alliance and voted her out in Kuang Si (a main season) and I feel shitty but ASJDGK anyway wee woo im stressed

i kinda shock myself with how fake i can be wow. like i stayed on call for 2 hours and 3 mins for that fucking guess who challenge talking to bryce charlotte and occasionally rtp i was just like..

like i just didnt wanna be yelled at for hanging up! but we did that, and i feel like i have a PRETTY decent game rn and going to tribal would fuck it up, so ill try working my connections

im pretty sure charlotte wants zach out?? like how petty do you need to be to get so mad that u want someone out in other games bc they voted u out to further their games. like?? whatevs, her problem. zachs definitiely my closest ally and i trust him. im rlly happy he got the golden rope even though im still bitter i didnt get my reward :) also at the wishing well i got an idol clue where apparently the idol is on the bottom river which whew!! im excited. hopefully i can get the idol at least.. really hope ulta can ride this momentum to the end. OH AND ALSO BRYCE GAVE THE COPA IDOL TOL UKE BC EVERYONE WAS FIGHTING FOR LUKE TO GET IT IN OUR ALLIANCE CHAT like i dont hate luke and i wouldve preferred for jay to get it but idc.

i feel good about this immunity challenge!

okay so we lost. we didn't even take 5 minutes out of our day to think about the challenge. we're kind of a lazy tribe just tryna have a good time. lexi didn't show up and luke had to go to bed waiting for her. but... it's not her fault we never set a time. but tbh she didn't even show up until after deadline. jay and jordan said luke's name on call with me when we finished the challenge. we seemed to have a fun time on the call so maybe their telling the truth. we do have our 4 person alliance with lexi so maybe that will save us.... also where this idol @ sis

this vote is gonna be between lexi and luke and honestly some how i hope i go home. pull the trigger

Thank god, we had won. Otherwise I think I would have been going home. Bad luck comes in threes, right

Wow so we won again.. Iconic!! So hoping we don't swap any time soon basicallly. Not doing much strategic gameplay other than staying social with my 4 and still talking to those outside of it. Us not going to tribal kind of makes my strategic options stagnant or at least they do to me lol

Okay so I'm pretty obsessed with ulta. I like that everyone for the most part is around and participating in chats and challenges. We all seem to gel really well. So far I think I'm the closest with Katie. We've bonded over how challenging these games are for old people like us with full time jobs. We're thinking of recruiting charlotte for an official 3 old people alliance. Then she can pick a 4th. If I had my way, our 4th would be Carson because I'm also pretty close with him and chat with him a lot. Okay I'll post another one of these later tonight

WE WON IMMUNITY! I'm so happy just because i've been stressing not only about this game, or any other game, but life itself. It's a BLEH. But to be immune for tonight, and knowing that an upcoming swap is likely, is kind of great. I'm hoping if so, the swap ends up in my favour. Nonetheless, I am going to try to use that time (or, if no swap, the time still) to enhance my social connections with various people. I feel great with Carson (as everyone likely does...) and okay with a few others, like Willow and Bryce and... personally, even Charlotte. I spoke to Charlotte tbh about what happened, and although we couldn't go in full depth about it, I wanted to justify and apologize for what happened, and I tried to make it clear that I wasn't going to relate the two games, and she said she wouldn't either. Is that likely? Maybe not. I will respect her decision though. ARGH GO ULTA TEAM WOO

So I'm telling Jordan and Jay about my idol because I really think it's going to help us in the upcoming vote. Right now as it stands, Ryan and Lexi are going to be voting for me and Jay/Jordan and myself would be voting for Ryan. However, that would leave one very pissed off and lonely Lexi without an ally. If we swapped or merged then Lexi would without a doubt flip on us and we would be screwed. If I tell Jordan and Jay to vote me out along with Ryan and Lexi, I idol myself and vote out Ryan, Lexi will believe that Jordan and Jay never flipped on her and will still trust them. If we end up swapping/merging then Lexi will still trust Jordan and Jay and we have a number moving forward where we wouldn't if they straight up flipped on Lexi. I hope...I don't get screwed :) 

What a suprise we lost.... again. This round is going to be interesting for sure. I think im safe but hoenstly who knows. Ryan is getting blindsided tonight in an unconventional way. We are all voting luke, luke is playing his idol... bye bye ryan. Should be fun

I've been tired and haven't put much into challenges and talked to much people bc I suck 

And I need a 2nd confessional

This is the first org I've ever played where I'm like "everything seems to be going too well" so I'm probably gonna get killed as soon as merge happens. Until then, I'm enjoying the high of my tribe winning everything except one challenge

haha I outlasted adam.. yes this is old news but it still feels good!

I wasnt around for the challenge but it feel great to win again

Our tribe doesn't really talk much unless we have a challenge due. Life at Ulta is boring today. I went hunting for treasure and all I found was a seashell. It was a sad day.