#ill probably delete this cause i feel like i didnt do a great job making my point

[blackgumball]

white women filmmakers, I find, like to put like. babies first feminism into their films. what if women... got sad. what if women... killed men. what if women... had cellulite? shock horror what if WHITE women had cellulite. and this isnt so bad, i dont particularly care, its just crazy to see people slobbering over these peoples dicks like these points weren't being made sixty years ago WITHOUT enough product placement to flood the earth being added in

[rqs902]

.

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS 

ITS MY BOY ENYU!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE???? okay also a big deal for zhaohao and li hao too!!!

ok now into part 2 of the ep

interesting that they focused on junhao for everybody. can understand he probably has the most different and struggle experience so probably more interesting for dramas sake lol im surprised they dont spend more time on shengen, considering his popularity. 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA JUNHAO FREAKING OUT over the fact that they only learned the dance for 40 mins. LOL thats the level of tyger + kou cong + shengen, i can imagine the struggle of the yang guang nan hai group in comparison AHAHA i just imagine him running down the hall freaking out like HOW DID THEY LEARN THE DANCE IN JUST ONE CLASS WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE 

lollll “theyre all dachang boys” “theyre all zhang yixing’s students” HAHAHAH you know even though he is slightly struggling compared to the rest, he aint bad and theyre all taking it light hearted with laughter so seems like a good learning environment! and he’s confident he’ll get it LOL thats good! i think thats what makes him so amusing 

HAHAHA i love how lin mo just keeps giggling at junhao like he genuinely just finds him so amusing LOL yay for making new friends 

awww bc junhao’s always been a leader i feel like for him to finally feel like hes being taken care of is so nice. i have absolute confidence that this group will treat him kindly. AW HE CALLED HIM MOMO 

im still disappointed they have YET to show zhan yu’s funny/strange personality and this wouldve been a great opportunity bc hes surrounded by friends he’s comfortable with!! like his friendship with kou cong! or akey and lin mo! but sigh...

THEY PUT ZHAN YU IN THE FRONT FOR THE SEXUAL LINE HAHAHHA PERFECT BUT I SEE LIN MO BEING ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NOT SHOWING HIS ABS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

wow the lyrics are so fitting for lin mo to scream LOL but also ay his vocals?! aw im glad they put in a little rap for shengen and akey! honestly was kinda hoping for more bc they havent had a proper stage together before and i feel like itd be awesome but also junhao and zhan yu vocalization at the end was on point!!

lol all the kids being like zhang pd’s words are so detailed and professional... sigh theyve been missing out until now 

im glad they really pointed out how each member of this team did well! they really all did a great job with each of their parts, and they each got a little part to shine, and when put together, it was a complete performance. im proud of them and happy for them!

aw.... i feel like we’ve been waiting so long to hear lin mo get complimented.... i feel like it’s been since qcyn namanana that we’ve been waiting for him to redeem himself and climb back up to the peak. ugh its been nearly a year and a half. im just so terrified of whats gonna happen next bc im way too skeptical at this point to expect this high to continue, esp with what happened after namanana last time......... but for now, im happy. relieved hes finally getting the recognition he deserves and im happy that hes happy. lol i was also half scared we were gonna get spirit of the knight-ed again with his pink hair (nightmare flashbacks to lin mo and changxi’s deletion from that perf) i dont think ill ever get over that :( i feel like as a lin mo stan, ive been trained to not keep my hopes up and to prepare for the worst bc hes the type of person who just always gets the short end of the stick, it feels like. 

aw the part when they go back to the waiting room and jin fan is waiting for them with an encouraging smile and the whole exchange of "帥的真的帥的" "哇~可以吧" "我沒想到" "那必須的" our leader did them proud :’) 

ugh the part where luo jie calls them and tells them he can’t come back........ heart breaking. i can see why lin ran and xikan would be really affected. lin ran has been luo jie’s go-to since he left and knowing how their usual friendship involves making fun of one another and jokingly complaining about each other, it hits hard when lin ran says he cried his eyes out. it hurts that they didnt get to share the stage again before he left. xikan may not have shared the stage with luo jie during ip, but hes known him since then and has been with him through both rounds here. it interesting bc i feel like the namanana perf was very light hearted on qcyn but i cant see that happening here, esp with their outfits? 

aw shiwei and chaowen taking charge to raise their spirits :’) 

lin ran’s voice fits so well with this song wow! i really like his lines! also lol i didnt know xikan would have abs but okay and tbh im always hesitant about dances with props bc it always is so easy to look messy..... like every slight difference in angle in the way you hold your arms is immediately magnified 

and like sxl’s fan is obviously broken and having performed fan dances myself i know that that’s like the most annoying thing to happen on stage, and can be really difficult to deal with, even tho it happens ALL THE TIME with those types of fans ugh :( 

i mean its super kind of them to leave luo jie’s space empty for him, but its kinda weird to have parts of the audio missing sadly :( and also chaowen’s voice did something weird in the middle there, like its sounds weirdly weak 

wait didnt yixing tell them to close the fan? but they didnt? 

xikan’s facial expressions are perfecttt, good for him! wish they gave more screen time to shiwei during shiwei’s lines lol... but also i cant help but hear lin mo’s voice during that part LOL ugh speaking of which i miss that team dynamic namanana team a on qcyn HAHAHAH hwx being a brat and fjj running around wild and lin mo giving up on them all just laughing like idiots for hours on end while bo yuan just judges them from a corner LOL i love the beginning of the wenxuan and lin mo friendship good times :’)  

HAHAH ENYU AGAIN WITH THE REALEST COMMENTS - i agree AHHAHAH i love these kids too but there was something off about this stage 

im surprised but also not surprised by what the judges are saying 

o didnt realize sxl was supposed to be center but i guess that explains the big puffy thing on his shoulder lol.......... agree with cx tho, even without his broken fan, i think the fans made them look worse bc it just looked messy 

well idk if we’re getting all the stages today but at least jin fan’s is also getting aired! TYGER HUG FOR JIN FAN YESS

jin fan teaching them dance? yes thank you for showing us he is a good dancer. oof jin fan’s just too nice :( hes trying to avoid conflict too much that it caused conflict smh......... lol oscar trying to talk to su er hes having such struggle i feel that bro LOL hes doing really well though, tbh being relatively young, hes really trying his best and is being reasonable. 

LOL HE CALLED HIM JIN FAN GE i forgot jin fan is considered old lol..... jin fan really taking the higher road here and im glad they sat together and talked it out a bit

THE JIN FAN VOICE YESSSS hahahhaha kou cong holding the tyger sign!!

oo is that some of his bel canto-style singing coming through LOL 

AY NICE for hong weihao and oscar to put in some rap 

some of those high notes were a bit questionable at the end but okay jin fan is really claiming that vocal + dance teacher role i see.... interesting 

but agree with yixing that he doesnt need to force himself to do high notes bc his voice is so nice regardless!! yay for oscar getting recognition! im still waiting for jin fan to do a cool dance performance sigh

wasnt expecting an enyu feature BUT ILL TAKE IT 

oof huang enyu saying hes really trying to put himself out there by going for leader and the realest comment that he hasnt considered getting to debut he just wants to pass this round oof and he feels like his opportunities may be cut short bc hes getting old oof

enyu and chenxu crying watching the movie 

AW THEIR HAHA VIDEOS ARE THE CUTEST THING I LOVE THESE KIDSSS so sad that so many of them are at risk of elimination :(  im glad these vocals made their own friend group! I hope itll be a memory they carry forward. they do all have shared experiences as vocals on this show. 

this reaction to junrong’s voice

same tho :’) but actually all of their voices are so so nice like actually these 5 are all people whose voices ive really listened for on this show, but wow renyu’s voice in particular like really ugh just sounds so pure 

also enyu looks really nice in this performance but thats a side note okay moving on

i mean literally these reactions

and li hao crying while singing and so many kids in the waiting room crying while watching OOF this perf has got me emotional 

HAHAHHAHA THEIR INTROS HAHAHHA

UGH ENYU his plea just.... the way he yelled it bc it mustve taken courage and it mustve been a frustration on his mind for a while now and bc maybe he wouldve broken down if he hadnt yelled it out but im really crying now.... and its so out of character for him that you know he really really is feeling desperate and feels the need to speak out

lol wait gjm posted on weibo about him? is that why hes getting more attention lol..........

i really hope the vocals win :( 

no tygers in the next ep preview? hmmMMMMMmm okay 

well also interesting that they put the other 4 perfs with the elims...... seems sketch but at least most of my kids got to go this week ahhhhhh i feel bad for the other groups already. esp the ones with the kids who arent as popular... 

[hcsp1]

Kim Possible movie thoughts

So what’s the sitch? This movie sucks

But before we get to my many problems with this movie, let’s get my thoughts on the show out of the way first. I like the show a lot. It’s funny, clever, has likeable characters(Shego FTW), good action and kickass tunes. I’m don’t have a nostalgic connection to it, as I watched it way after its original air, but I like it enough

The movie however...

You know what? There are some good stuff in it so let’s go over that first. The actors playing Kim and Ron are great fit for the roles and are doing a great job for the most part, when they have meterial to work with, which there is. You can tell the show creators worked on this as a lot of the daialog feels like something from the show. So you know what? Credit where credit is due

Now for the bad stuff. This movie has no idea if it’s an adaptation, cannonical, or a different unievrse. On the one hand, Kim defeated Drakken many times before but one of the major conflicts is Kim entering high-school, 2 things that don’t really mash if you watched the show. I have no problem with changing it up, but it doesn’t seem consistent that one part of the movie acts like the show happened while the other treats it like it didn’t. 

Also, Kim’s characterization is really freaking off to me for the most part. I get what they were trying to do, which is make her flawed unlike her cartoon counterpart which was great at pretty much everything. On paper, not a bad idea. Execution? That’s not the way! I’ll get into this more in the spoilers part, but it seems like their way of making her less is perfect is making her for a lack of a better term, pathetic. 

And I swear, if I had a dollar for everytime somebody does a flip of some sort, I’ll probably have more money than the film has cost to make...

Spoilers from now if anybody cares:

So the main plot of the movie is that Drakken(And MILF Shego. Isn’t she a teenager too?) figured out if he wants to beat Kim, he needs to lower her self esteem and that’ll cause her to lose. Honestly? Not a bad plan. Why did I need to know it so early on, basically giving away the big twist that Athena is one of the bad guys?

Oh yeah, there’s a new character named Athena who’s basically every writer insert character from every FanFiction ever written, Kim Possible or not. She starts as a fangirl of Kim, she starts over-shadowing her causing Kim to envy her, Drakken kidnapes Athena and Kim is devesated and “SURPRISE” she was working with Drakken and Shego! Of course she’s also a robot because let’s make this more cliche...

I literally figured this plot twist the second Athena showed up and you know why? Because I knew Drakken’s plan! Why!? He explains it to Kim at the end anyway, so let’s save it for that scene and then maybe I would have given a shit.

What more can I even say? This movie isn’t good. Even the “winks” to the fans come off as annoying. They actually had to explain the change in Kim’s custom from the cartoon as ‘it became too cartoony’. How’s this coming off as anything as a middle finger to the original?

So yeah, this movie isn’t good. I didn’t expect it to be, but it ended up being even worse than I thought it was going to be. So if you don’t mind, I’m going to listen to the theme song in order to delete this movie drom my mind.

[teddy-feathers]

okay not to be depressed on main but j deleted my vent blog and i actually need to get these thoughts out

before therapy...

i don't think i ever realized how bad i was. oh of course i was bad - cant be swinging from "everythings on fire but i dont care infact let's just add gasoline and get it over with cause im so chill about it" to "im drowing in emotions basically all the time there is no off switch" and not know hmmm something might probably just possibly be wrong mayhaps

but.

i was looking for a way to gage just how bad i am currently

and started answering questions with idk four levels of rating for answers and i realized back then i wouldnt have beeen able to judge because i honestly thought and wished i was just being dramatic but looking back? yeah mark that bitch at concerningly high

and then i saw a list of things people say when theyre suicidal and. dude yeah. i said all of those things. i still say all of those things when times get rough

the difference is now i notice its getting bad and donsomething about it

i quit my job recently because i got really bad really fasr and noticed.

i say i wouldn't do it but a strong enough impulse with how tired I was constantly? short on sleep and over worked, stressed and... yeah. i was going around a corner the other day and just thought about how scared i was of myself and how frequent that impulse was and how because of how low my mood had gotten ei figured out that during those times i dont give a fuck about the life ive been building im just tired of sealing with everything and i want it to stop

i dont... want to but im tired all of the time physically not emotionally.

i dont go around like i did telling myself awful things because ive SEEN evidence and i KNOW and with practive i BELIEVE the good things and the realistic things.

which is GOOD!

but emotionally? i didnt realize that even though I KNOW better i still FEEL that way.

even though i know its stupid.

and i dont... beat myself up for feeling bad as much and i dont do a lot of things.

im a lot better and i dont care if anyone else can see the progess I'm living it. or. trying to.

its hard you know?

but im still not okay and thats hard to swallow or accpet when im a lot better than i used to be and i dont. want to waste time or whine or... i KNOW better? i know all the steps and what to do to succeed. i know how to act despite how i feel and I now have therapy tools so i can even help myself there and have been for six months now and.

its not enough?

like. im spoiled. ive got a good life. my aunt makes sure to remind me of that and how ungrateful i am and how i dont do enough every time we talk and honestly she doesnt need to? because even if i KNOW that its bullshit even if some parts of it are true it's just been twistedd... i do that enough to my self? i cant. not do that.

and getting more help and being like "i dont know if i can do the things it takes to survive for any great length of time because of my issues but id like to still get rewarded for making an effort with continued survival?" well thats just life isnt it.

we're all out here struggling to make ends meet and when i give it my all i succeed so whats the problem? i CAN'T do it for any length of time. a year tops. six months average. ive got proof. but like. nothings wrong sonits just me.

so logically i should get a job that works me less. stresses me less. right? but i cant live on that. so go back to school - which i cant explain how much i cant do that even if it was a full ride for whatever reason. tech school might be a thing but id no shit prefer a damn apprenticeship over that nightmare which isnt a thing.

this new job IF i get it and IF i make it through training and IF i can keep it is probably going to work me just as hard as my last job - only ill have to do shit outside. BUT I'll get paid more and BUT I'll have insurances and theoretically ill be able to pay and go to therapy as well as work on my physical health. which. cool beans. IF i can obtain and keep the job long enough eithout loosing my shit

but like. i am bad. should i even bother trying when there's a good chance ill go through all this effort only to self sabotage again

what should and can i do like idk

im better ENOUGH to not just. give up. hence the applications and actually answering the phone today but thats just because i havent sunk into apathy for a long while. it doesn't feel pointless to try its just

the consistent problem i have is me. i keep getting in my own way. and i can't stop that?

everything was going really well and then last weeked i realized is deive myself off the road to either get a break or get everything to stop so i quit because it's not the kind of place i can take a day off and i didnt think a day would fix it

hell a week hasnt

and like

nothings technically wrong with me. im NOT as bad as I was and i did yard work yesterday. everythings not fine inside but im better at functioning despite that so youd think id find a way to just keep doing that.

ive got to get dressed ans eat and go out so i guess thats the end of my vent sorry