#ill post real thoughts later to make up for this
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THIS IS HOW CHEMWASTE HAS WON
im sorry for focusijg on shipping immediatly, i went insane about the song in my friends dms so im going insane about this uere... im a bit. flabbergasted??? im not so much focused on the ship as much as "thats my guys .. thats my girlfriends ..!!!!!" if that makes sense?? or at least 'waow i had the same thought as weevildoing before they made their thought public...'
ofc kve got no definitive proof im the person to ever ship them, or that its canon but i do feel like their founding father ... i was in the delivery room for chemwaste ... theyre my baby
so first off, jordyn and joy are on treadmills together ... yay !!!! :]] theyre hanging out!!! god. i love the art in this mv so much btw like GOD!!!!!! just seeing them interwct like this is so sweettt !!! i KNEW rhis would happen to them. i knew theyd excercise together and disposable would suck ass at it. save her chemical. save her. idc if it a canon ship or not theyre hanging out and thaz makes me happy!!!!! like aughhh theyre chilling together...!!!
next up. in the updated journal entries. disposable says she has girlfriends. she says shes not quite ready to share who they are yet. however .. through my power of deduction .. ive noticed TWO other characters that say rheyre in a relationship ...
mind BLOWN ?!?!?!! this is completely speculative like, umm um . disposable saying she doesnt want to say who just yet makes me feel like its someone we know. fainéant's qpps and chemicals gf could def be someone that we dont know, just, like, someone. yknow? and even if they are someone we know, no definite proof theyre just these 3
but !!!!! theyre dots that i can connect. so iwill.
also AUGHHHB THE SONG ??? THE SONG ????? HEKLO???? THE MV IS SO!!!!!! GUHHHHH!!!!!! all the girls singing at the end ("disposable, but i dont have to be" and such) !!!!!! god !!!! fucking !!!!! Hello !!!!! Hello !!!!!! Speak to me nurse parallel !!!! Speak to me !!!!!! im also in love with irreverents updated page. its so everything to me. and taxi!!!! ouhhhgghhh,,..,..... REFRACTION!!!!! im so happy for refraction ouhhhhhhhgggg im sorry ill never call the girls by their real names im sorry. IRREVERENT AND SPLITTER!!!!! them meditaring n then in the group photo splitter ✌!!!!! with irreverent next to her .... GAHHHHH!!!!!! im DEAD!!!!!!!! godddd
i cant believe its. like. GOD. head in HANDS idont know what to say its 2am save me nurse parallel. if i survive tonight imigjt make a real post on my thoughrs about nurse parallel and tptm and studf any everything odpnt know. my head hits the pillow and iimmediatly fall asleep
#the post traumatic manifesto#this isnt an actual like. analysis or whatever im just going insane#tptm#mystuff#tptm chemwaste#shipping#i feel bad for immediatly jumping to this but oughhh believe me im going insane about the song and themes so ahrd#ALL THE HPDAZES ARE SO!!!!!#CHILL!!!!#THEYRE JUST CHILLING!!!!!#i wish i could make post 2 years entry updazes for my girl ocs but COMPUTER BROKEN!!!! FILES GONE FOR NYAOW@!!!!!#auvhhh#ill post real thoughts later to make up for this#💣chemwaste🗑
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There's a lot of fluff about how Harry shows no sign of trauma from his upbringing but maybe it's because I was neglected and often spoken of as extremely well-adjusted, but to me Harry seems to be a pretty natural response to a combination of neglect and a stable upbringing? He's not like. Traumatized. But a lot of people just develop maladaptive habits from these circumstances. Like:
Dissociative tendencies. I know this one is not intentional, but he shows constant lack of focus which interferes with his schooling and will often just space out and stare at things. This is used as a device to point the reader towards plot relevant items and turn them from irrelevant details, but it is something he does.
Harry does not actually distrust adults outright at first! He goes to teachers for help! But he tends to disrespect them, and struggles to think of adults as figures of authority the moment they slip up. Hagrid's bumbling chaos, Quirrell's nerves, Snape beefing with an 11-year-old, McGonagall not taking his Very Real Concerns seriously, Vernon's bluster, these are moments Harry discards their authority - that child thought McGonagall was going to burn him at the stake at first, but was barely shaken by her later. And it makes sense! You are a powerless child, you are looked down on, but the "consequences" you face are things you got used to and feel are normal, so you take strength from being unafraid of punishment.
A lot of fluff is made about abuse victims and independence because yeah, obviously, but I do think a lot of his savior/martyr complex is egged on by his servile role; he lived his entire life apart from the Dursleys, but they relied on him. To be crude, when someone shits the bed he puts it in the washer. And I do think he takes satisfaction in being the best man for the job, and I do think that can breed a whole host of mental problems that will lead you to a fated suicide duel with a Dark Lord
The books are mean-spirited in general, but he learned a lot of the fundamentals on engaging with the world from the Dursleys. He's pretty consistently petty and vindictive! And I genuinely believe Harry is, personally, as a character, fatphobic (in addition to the doylist text being fatphobic), because it was something Dudley gets criticized for and thus something that proves Dudley isn't infallible, and he would have definitely fixated on it and felt comfortable doing so, because that's just how the Dursleys talk about people.
For that matter, he is in general stifled by the inner lives of others - he's somehow the most socially stunted person in a trio with Hermoine in it. He is at all times deeply uncomfortable by the thought that other people have feelings and motivations, and reifies people with strong, clear roles in his life, and a lot of his development is realizing there are people behind those roles. I stand by the fact that Harry naming a child after Snape is a symptom of unaddressed mental illness.
This boy is so unbelievably susceptible to mania. I'll acknowledge a lot of his behaviour is teenage bull-headedness but the way the extremes of "I need to be doing something Now" and catastrophizing only gets worse...You know when he's 30 he's going to get prescribed mood stabilizers
And these are all things that can spiral into really toxic and self-destructive behaviour, which we know because that's what happens in the books. I think part of pushing his trauma in fanfiction is accepting that sometimes when someone is traumatized they develop an awful personality instead of PTSD.
(You may now reread this entire post and think about Tom Riddle.)
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Orb...
+ process kinda
#istg lineart is just a horrible terrible thing LOL#i sketch and it goes very well and i am very happy and i feel very creative!!!#i have to do lineart and it makes me want to give up the piece .....#i get to paint and im like omg i could do this for hours !!! this is so fun !!!!!!#thus: orb#im very happy w it so thats why im posting#idk how long the actual piece is gonna take so might as well post a little sneak peak ig#lmfao i gave up on the crown bcs it was too complicated and then drew this. maybe the crown will come back. prob not#im surprised w the process of this. i usually struggle a lot w accurately referencing real life things#and i usually end up tracing them just to understand how the form works#and god ive drawn so many complicated things for this piece and havent had to trace at all???? okay?????#i mean ofc its not entirely accurate bcs the craftsmanship on the original orb is actually insane#but i think ive got it down p well :)#ill have to try to make the gold look a bit better at some point later on but for now its !!!#i like how half my art i post here is either chibis#or just the most brainrot intense historically detailed shit ever#yes no one i talk to probably knows what a globus cruciger is but GOD DAMN IT IM GONNA DRAW IT ACCURATELY#had this thought ^ when i looked at my top posts and my last post was those nando chibis#and then after a week of not drawing after that im like yeah let me draw several imperial relics#catie.art.
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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thinking about yoohankim again
#straight up i dont even think theyd be in a like. idk the word. normal relationship. lmao#like theyre all so definitely in love with each other and would do anything for eachothwr but like#but idk if it would even be in a completely romantic sense i think the lines are like incredibly blurred for the kind of love thwyre in#ITS HARD TO PROPERLY ARTICULATE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT RN maybe ill write a real post later idk#yoohankim is just soooooo#i love you id do anything for you i literally changed and fought against thebworld for you i exist Because of you you are the reason im aliv#there is no reality where we wouldnt meet anf depend on each other.#but these feelings i have for you go so far beyond romantic or platonic theres no use defining it#if you fell in love with someone else i wouldnt mind because it wouldnt get in the way of what we have. what we have is different#its special#they would never let each other go they would make out sloppy But I Dont Think Theyd Get Married#or like whatever#i dont think they would ever refer to each other with pet names/as their significant other in anything other than a teasing way#it just goes so beyond like everything I DONT KNOWWWWWW#sometimes i see fanart of them being so sweets and its like awww this is so sweets vut i dont think itd actually happen#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE. WHATEVER#i think thats another reason why im such a joongdok hater I DONT THINK THEYD BE IN AN ACTUAL RELATIONSHIPPPPPP#THEYRE YAOIFUL IN A DIFFERENT WAY IM SORRYYYYYYYY#just because theyd have insane gay sex does notttttttt mean theyd tell each other i love you#2 me#if you think different thats fineeee it IS cute and i see where youre coming from i just disagreeeee its whatver#omniscient posting
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blue raspberry flavored
soobin x fem!reader
synopsis: he’s so cute when he asks, he’s even cuter when he doesn’t
warnings: 🔞!!! breeding kink, baby trapper, dubcon/manipulation, nipple/breast play, use of teeth, marking, no protection, creampie, talk of pregnancy, soobin calls reader bunny a few times prob forgot some sorry
wc: 1.5k
an: don't know how this one will go over but hope you guys like it feedback is appreciated :)) [m.list]
this is apart of my mini kinktober event check out the other fics here [dumdum m.list]
Soobin was never really forgetful of anything. He never forgot your birthday, missed an anniversary, messed up on your coffee order, he never even had to write down what he needed when he went grocery shopping. But bringing a condom always seemed to slip his mind.
At first it was easy to write off in the beginning of your relationship, every time the two of you got closer to having sex and not just messy make outs every pouty ‘its okay ill just pull out’ sounded more and more appealing. But you bought a box of condoms for your apartment and didn't realize the way his jaw clicked at the sight of them.
Soon after soobin was suddenly into pda. Purposefully teasing you out in public, hand slipping up your thigh under the table at a friends house, pulling you into heady kisses out at events, pushing you into bathroom stalls to try and undress you. You didn't make the connection until later that he was avoiding taking you home. ‘I just can't wait i need you right now,’
He knew exactly what to say for you to fold, slowly chipping away at the idea that the two of you even needed protection at all. It was so easy for you to remember when in your own bed, the nightstand right there. But in the back of the car with his lips all over you, hands kneading your thighs, pushing your knees apart; you let so much slide. Mumblings for him to pull out lost between moans. Where was he supposed to cum in the car anyways? He’d hate to ruin the interior or your pretty skirt.
In the beginning it wasn't so bad, soobin could restrain himself. If you two didn't use a condom he would make sure to pull out and if you did use one he was easy to comply. But it only took one time and it was an accident, a real accident where he didn't pull out fast enough. It was in the mix of his fucked out apology that he realized he wasnt sorry at all, not when he was watching the way your abused cunt was pushing out his cum and all he could really think about was going right back in for more.
post nut he was a bit ashamed but as soon as he thought about it for long enough he had his hand down his pants begging in an empty room to get you pregnant. And when you're ovulating it's only worse. Not only does he know it would be so easy to knock you up but it's like you're beckoning him to do it. Your hands squeezing your boobs, pushing up your bra while you're watching movies together. “Ugh im so sore,” the pout on your lips instantly makes him hard. His imagination taking over thinking about just how big they would get if he did get you pregnant.
And when you wear that tiny little tank top he is insatiable. Nipples peeking through the thin fabric as you lay against the pillows on the bed. You didn't even notice that soobin is paying no attention to the tv, his eyes watching the way your chest rises and falls. Adjusting in his seat to not make it too obvious he was already leaking in his sweatpants. Only it does the exact opposite, your eyes drawn to the bulge outlined in the gray fabric.
“Need help there?” it's the slight invitation he needs to roll over on top of you, lips working down your throat, hips rutting against yours.
“Please bunny, i need you,” he begs as you run your fingers through his hair pushing the strands behind his ears. Pleading brown eyes working on you instantly, he was always so desperate to have you and he knew it always made him get what he wanted.
He tugs down your tank top far enough for your boobs to spill out, hands reaching up to cup them both, thumbs sliding over your skin as he groans. “Look at your pretty nipples,” he squeezes his hands, pushing them together to watch the way your cleavage deepens.
You whine softly, “gentle i'm still tender,” the reminder only adding to his want, mouth coming down to suck on your nipple, your moan going straight to his aching cock.
Kneading the handfuls he has of your breasts, your back arches, lips popping off obscenely from one nipple only to capture the next. He's rough as he massages, your nails scratching along his scalp, his moans reverberating through your chest as he swirls his tongue over the hard bud.
He's humping you like you don't have layers of clothes separating you two, every slow drag of his hips pressing his hardness right against your clit, his teeth softly biting at your nipple tugging to watch how you react. Soobin knows that getting you off at least once before actually fucking you led to your inhibitions being weakned enough to forget about the condom all together. His hand slipped down between you two, pushing past your waistband to rub on your clit.
Lips coated in his spit he starts sucking marks along your chest, watching the way your head rolls back, fingers sliding through your slick as your hips buck up into his hand. He knows your body well enough to see the first orgasm coming, relishing in the way you tremble against him. With no time to let you ride out your high he's pulling down your shorts and panties, kicking off his sweats using all your wetness to lube up his cock.
But even in your haze you reach out beside you fumbling for the drawer to the nightstand pulling out the little shiny packet. You don't even see the disappointment on his face as you rip open the packet helping to slide the condom on him.
And he wants to be good, truly, only when he slowly pushes in he cant think about anything else except fucking you hard enough the condom breaks, neither of you knowing until its too late, until all his cum is spilling out of you. It’s that thought alone that makes him pull all the way out, his fingers slipping along the condom as he tugs it off. “What-”
“It's okay,” he mutters, tossing the condom to the pile of your clothes on the floor. “I need to feel all of you please,” and he tries to kiss away the worry on your mouth, and you shake your head.
“No you need another one we have extra in the nightstand,” but he's already prodding your entrance, tip slipping in as he begs, "I'll just pull out I promise, please, please,"
You don't even get to respond before his hips slam into yours, fully seating himself inside you, promptly shutting up anything else you could say. Even if after the two of you were done you were upset it's not like you would leave him would you? Not if he got you pregnant, the two of you were ready, and he'd take such good care of you. “Fuck,” his drawn out moan pressed right into your neck as he bullies his cock into you, “you feel amazing bunny,”
You're clinging to him, moans mixing with the obscene wet sounds coming from between you two. “Soobin s-slow down,” but you're not sure you want him to, not when he's hitting just the perfect spot inside of you, pressed so deep you swear you can feel him in your stomach.
“No,” he pants pulling you closer, “im going to stuff you full of my fucking cum, we will stay here all night if we have to,” your clenching gummy walls aiding him on. “Don't you want my baby?”
You can't even think straight let alone answer his question, his long fingers moving to work on your clit, “you'd be so pretty full of me, my cum, my baby, everyone would know youre all mine,”
The room is full of your desperate moans, your legs wrapping around him as if you could pull him any closer. “You like that idea huh?”
“Y-yes,” you're practically crying, tears welling up in your eyes, “i want it, please,”
That alone makes soobins balls tighten, cock jerking inside you before he spills the biggest load he's ever had inside you. He presses his hips against yours making sure you're flush together as you cum, fluttering walls sucking him in deeper milking him dry of all he has. He takes your hand in his lowering it to press over your pelvis, pressing it down enough to make you moan, “i don't think once will do it,” deep slow thrusts pushing his cum further in making you dizzy, “but you did such a good job im sure you can handle the rest,"
a very special thank you to @aduh0308 and @chyuuiung for beta/proof reading this for me ily you're the best
🏷 taglist: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty @stwq2349 @isa942572
@tomorrowxforever @beestvng @soobingf-blog @lovinjjong @lola-horore-553
@cypher-03 @midnight-mochii @hueningwhy @choibeomning @soobinbunnie5
@yunjinswifee @cupidtaehyun @bamgeutsz @prince-jjae
#soobin x reader#soobin smut#soobin txt#txt soobin#choi soobin#choi soobin x reader#txt x reader#txt smut#yeonjun#beomgyu#taehyun#hueningkai#kpop smut#kinktober
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General Alucard Dating Headcanons
A/N: This takes place post Season 4, if he didn’t fall for Greta of course and just became friends with her
He absolutely adores when you call him Adrian, he doesn’t really like being called Alucard by you, since that’s more of his title than his actual name. He didn’t share his real name with you for a bit, but one day he asked you if you could call him by his given name, Adrian, and of course you respected his wish. But there was something about everyone else in the village calling him Alucard or The Alucard, and you were one of the only people to call him by his name. It made you feel special, and it made him feel more close to you when you said his name
It took awhile for him to open up to you fully, after what happened with Sumi and Taka, he needed physical space from you. Physical touch was iffy for him, he had to take baby steps into it with you. First it was linking pinkies, then holding hands, then hugs, and it took a long time for him to finally kiss you. But once he did, he never stopped wanting to, your lips fit perfectly against his and your sweet and love filled kiss didn’t hold any malice or ill intentions. More intimate things like sex would come later into the relationship, but for now you were content with kissing him
HE LOVES CUDDLING WITH YOU. After getting used to you touching him and feeling your arms around him, he felt so safe in them. They held him after nightmares, held him when he cried, held him when he wanted to express his love for you. Likes when you play with his long hair and scratch his scalp, his own hands often scratch your back with his long nails, or his thumbs rub your hips where his hands are rested. When he feels lonely in the castle, he finds you and asks if you to hold him. It never takes much convincing, so you find a comfy place to get comfortable, whether it be him sitting in a chair and you on his lap, on a couch or getting cozy in bed for a nap together
Loves watching you help the people around the village. You help the men hold things up to build houses, help cook meals with the women, play with the children while their parents were busy. You and Sypha would often chat together, complaining about your S/O’s bad habits, like Trevor’s constant thirst for beer and Adrian’s clinginess when you were busy
Adrian: “I am not clingy…am I?”
Trevor: “When you got drunk with me you cried about wanting Y/N and kneeled before her.”
Adrian: “Oh-“
He likes to gather and cook you dinner personally, it feels more intimate and with love that way rather than just bringing you a plate of food someone else made. Likes to set up romantic dinners with a velvet tablecloth, candles, and a vase with flowers for you, and cook you your favorite meal after a long week of running a village with him
He gets so embarrassed when the orphans of the village call him ‘dad’ in front of you. It always makes you giggle and brings a red blush to his pale cheeks, and he freezes until one of this kids tug on his sleeve to answer their question. Whenever he sees you playing with the kids, he can’t help but imagine what it will be like when the two of you have kids. Belmont and Sypha are already expecting their first, maybe soon the two of you would as well in the near future. He would bring the idea up to you, and you had the same thoughts for some time as well, thinking that Adrian would make the cutest kids with you, hopefully they’d have his luscious blonde hair
He definitely wants to turn you into a vampire, he doesn’t want to live his immortal life without you. Of course if it is your wish to remain human, he will respect that, but if you allow him to turn you, he will do it gently and hold you through the painful transition. Would love to always kiss where he bit you while turning you, so lots and lots of hug from behind followed by the soft peck of his lips on your neck
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I'm excited for your thoughts on the new season if/when you share them
It has legit taken me 3 days to come to terms with Act 1. Enough to be able to speak about it. Gunna apologize in advance for the wall of text, and I’m hiding it under a break for spoiler reasons. Also prefacing with these are all just my opinions. All are free to disagree with me and RB with discussions/theories etc. just don’t be a dick about it, I’m not engaging in any discourse.
Ok. So. I have mixed feelings, and I’m aware that this is because I don’t have the whole story yet. So this is all contingent on how the rest of the season plays out.
First and foremost, I’m… wildly swinging back and forth between love and disappointment for Viktor’s arc. So first the negative, and I’ll try to keep it brief because a lot of people have already expressed this and I don’t need to be beating that particular dead horse.
Viktor has had his agency, his bodily autonomy, his original ideas and nearly everything that made him Viktor stripped away. Nothing so far has been his choice. And while this could have worked just fine for an original character, he wasn’t. So there is a massive disconnect between what this character was/should have been. In League, it was all his choice (albeit with a healthy dose of mental illness thrown in, but still). AND it was very heavily suggested that many of the augmentations he performed weren’t as extensive as he lead everyone to believe (namely the controlling/dousing of his emotions). But it appears that whatever the Hexcore did to him, it’s real. He is clearly having a difficult time accessing his emotions, and if he can feel anything, it is limited to the point of him being completely stoic. And the thing with stoic characters is that you obliterate any emotional payoff for the audience. It’s very hard to make an audience feel an emotional connection to a character’s story arc when they themselves don’t feel anything (I have a theory about this though, but I’ll address it a little later in this post). And then there is the issue of Blitzcrank. Blitz was Viktor’s whole world, after his exile. How are they going to swing that? Like, I’m not even asking for Blitz to be in Arcane (that would be great, but I really don’t think they have time). But I stg if they take Blitz away from Viktor, make them someone else’s invention (my suspicion is Heimer or he finds the idea in Sky’s journal)… I’m sorry but no. This was Viktor’s idea, Viktor’s genius. I will genuinely be extremely upset if they take that from him too.
Then there is the whole situation with Sky. First, this girl was fridged. She was nothing but a plot device and continues to be just that. It feels hollow and forced, especially now that he’s hallucinating her as some sort of penance for what he did. (I have seen the prevalent theory that it’s the Hexcore using her image and his guilt to manipulate him, given that it “ate” her, and we have seen it “manipulate” him before when it punished him for trying to destroy it). But back to Sky—he barely acknowledged that poor girl. The reason for that can be argued, whether it’s because he’s gay or because he was just so wrapped up in his one-track minded research. But regardless, there just wasn’t enough setup between those two for this whole thing to have as much weight and meaning as I think it’s supposed to. Honestly to me (TO ME) it reeks of comphet. It feels like that random woman they threw at Poe Dameron to No Homo him. I’m not even asking for Jayvik canon. But the creators were well aware of this ship, after all it’s the second most popular ship in this show and it’s been around since 2012 when Jayce was literally created for Viktor. I’m asking for the bare minimum here—that it’s left open-ended as it was in League, open for interpretation.
Last negative I have is the whole Viktor Jesus thing. The first problem is I am pretty violently agnostic, and messiah narratives have never spoken to me. I don’t enjoy them, they feel weak. The whole “ordained by a higher power” thing is just… stale. Especially when this character originally had no higher power, he gave it to himself through his own hard work and ingenuity. Honestly, Viktor’s original arc is about as far from a Jesus allegory as you can possibly get. And I am absolutely terrified that they’re going to end said Jesus arc the way you’d expect—with him dying for it. Which leaves the moral of his story “disabled man should have just accepted that he was going to die despite the fact that it was the oppression and xenophobia of Piltover that left him out to dry, without proper health care, accessibility, equality, or equity that lead to his terminal diagnosis to begin with.” Which is a very oppressor-centric narrative and we do not need another one of those.
Sorry, I know I said I’d keep the negatives brief, and that was… not. My bad. But moving on!
I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it, I did. I am working to embrace this new Viktor narrative and work it into my brain in a way that doesn’t ruin the ship for me. So without further ado, the positives.
Jayce.
Jayce.
Jayce.
I’d have to go back and time it, but it feels like he got more screen time in this first act than the entirety of the first season combined, and his character shined for it. It humanized him in ways season one never did. He’s caring, he’s devoted, and he loved Viktor! No matter what kind of love you think it is, it proves he loved Viktor without a doubt. He carried Viktor several city blocks to the lab to save him, and then YES, he broke his promise about the Hexcore because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing him!
And he’s funny! (The scene where he picks up the regular sized hammer in the fight against Renni and made that “this is ironic” face?? And then basically the entire interaction with Ekko? The hand me a tome thing, and then when he basically pulled this when Ekko suggested “so this is all your fault cuz you pissed off the Arcane”:
GOD that shit was great. Jayce’s personality just shined, and maybe it’s too much to hope, but maybe this will douse a little of the hate. Because instead of being a subtle hint at all of those things being true about him, it’s now overt. And when people lack media literacy, the hints have to be overt.
And th-the. The h. The HUG SCENE. I don’t think I will ever emotionally recover from that scene. Starting with Viktor who, despite being clearly emotionally—I dunno, vacant I guess—sounded so lost and scared when he said “what am I?” For me, it was whispers of that scene from The Last Unicorn: “what have you done to me?” And my poor sweet Jayce, who clearly hasn’t left this damn lab except to go to Cassandra’s memorial. Sleeping on the desk and bleeding through his bandages because he doesn’t want to spend a moment away from Viktor while he “recovers.” And his euphoric response when he finds Viktor alive, when he realizes he hasn’t lost him. And I OWE HIM AN APOLOGY, goddamn. I said in a post that “Jayce will not understand.” I thought that was how Arcane was gunna start the divorce. But Jayce genuinely did not care, as long as his lover friend was alive. And just… Jayce being so affectionate through this entire scene. The hug obviously, but also blurting things he thought he’d never get to say to Viktor—“I’m resigning from the council, my place was always here in the lab with you.”
And… the hug itself. I know we’re all analyzing it frame by goddamn frame, but I see exactly what everyone else sees—there is a moment where Viktor very subtly smiles. But it’s gone in an instant, and it turns bittersweet. LOOK AT HIM.
There is something there, it’s just buried. Deep beneath the surface. It seems to say “I want this, I have wanted this for so long.” But then he realizes something, something I don’t think we’re meant to understand yet. Maybe that he doesn’t feel anything about it anymore, and he recognizes that this should upset him and it doesn’t. Or perhaps it’s something more along the lines of “it’s too late.” Whatever it is, I think this is the exact moment he knows he has to walk away. Because he knows he’ll cave to the affection, he said it himself. (Which is another thing entirely. His voice changes when he says that. Something in him is reacting to that word. Maybe he’s fighting against it, or maybe he’s fighting to get it back. But something made him almost growl that word.)
Which leads me to my final thought (for this post anyway, cuz it’s turning into a novel); Viktor is still in there. He can still feel things, I just think they’re extremely muted by whatever the Hexcore did/continues to do to him, or he has to fight to express them. Because he also smiled at the hallucination of Sky after he “cured” Huck. And if he feels nothing, he wouldn’t have been “joyous” at the thought of her being proud of him, approving of the good things he’s trying to do in her memory. He wouldn’t crave that validation, that vindication from her. So I’m hopeful that we start to see this shell crack a little, especially if those visions of Sky are the Hexcore manipulating him through guilt. It will start to erode him, no matter how stoic he has become. And literally the only thing I’m clinging to is that Jayce will see this and try to pull him out. “He’s still in there and I have to save him.” And that maybe it’ll start to work.
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane season two#arcane s2 spoilers#jayvik#jayce talis#arcane viktor#viktor arcane#asks#ace answers
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SORRY! i originally asked on the wrong post! My bad!
Hello!!!! I have no idea if this is the right post for requests, but i reqd your overjoyed headcanon and absolutely adored it! I love your writing style already! I originally had two requests, but for now ill go with one, with the Amazing Didgital cricus blowing up, i found favoritizim in the mean purple rabbit, i was wondering for some Jax crush headcanons? I loved your other one, and if its no trouble, id love to read it! Have a lovely day/night!!
A/N: omgomg!! it warms my heart hearing that people are enjoying my writing! thank you so much for the request, i hope you don't mind that i sprinkled in some confessing headcanons in there.. enjoyenjoy!!
Input Feelings (Jax x Reader) [Headcanons]
Rules For Requesting
Characters I Will Write For
Masterlist
Summary: General Jax crushing and confessing headcanons
Nothing irritates Jax more than someone new. Sure, a new fella to add to the prank list, and yet, another re-do of the theme song. So seeing you spawn into existence, scrambling around fearfully, made him feel both amused and annoyed. Let's just say he started out with mixed feelings for you. Mind you, these are just judgements. He hasn't even met you yet. Rude, I know, but it's Jax.
Meeting you went way better than he thought! You actually didn't find him annoying? That was a change of pace for him. Of course, not like he minded. Not at all! Looks like he'll have a new sucker to prank after all.
Although Jax was amused by you, you sure weren't. Not on the second day, at least. You had been talking with him earlier that day, and he wouldn't shut up about insects. Weird, you'd think of all people to be ranting about insects, it would be Kinger. Until later that night, or at least you thought it was night, you opened your door to find spiders in your bed.
And thus, you became Jax's main target for pranking! Hooray..! Yes, you liked his company--he was actually pretty fun to be around! But, uh, you prefer your outfit to not be soaked from a water bucket by the end of the day.
You two became frenemies. Sometimes, days went by where he wouldn't prank you. Shocking, I know. Jax just didn't wanna be too harsh on you, y'know? Which is weird, because Jax doesn't go easy on folks very often.
On days where he wouldn't prank you, you would sometimes receive notes from him. It was a good spirit lifter to go to your room at the end of a long adventure and see the corniest dad joke ever written on a piece of notepaper with crayon writing, sitting there on your bedside table. And on good days, you'd even write notes back for him!
One day, Jax gets either asked or teased about how he's so fond with you, and so rude to everyone else. He either makes some dumb excuse or tries to raise suspicion on the person asking, like the asshole he is, but it gets him thinking. He doesn't like to think. He's a man of action. But you were a.. different scenario.
Before, he was this complete asshole. And that's it, really. But you did something to him, something that he had no idea what to do with. Caine's gotta be messing with his coding, right? Maybe he input feeings in his code just to be mean. But being mean was his thing! God, what have you done to him..?
You, at the time, had no idea you were stripping away all of his confidence. As far as you knew, he has just been a bit nicer recently. Which was good! Right? Right. The notes would've been obvious proof he was getting better. Well, first, he was sending more notes rather than.. bugs.. but second, the notes started getting nicer and nicer. Some were just straight up compliments. That's when you noticed something was off. Jax never complimented anyone. Though, you didn't mind some of the compliments...
It's not like Jax has never been in love. He knows he had some sort of love life when he was in the real world, but he was left with just wisps of what it actually felt like to love someone. To care for someone. Though, now, he's finally able to remember.
You noticed how his teasing significantly decreased the more you spent time with him. You kinda missed it, but you're not one to complain.
Jax, on the other hand, was on edge all the time around you. He hated that you washed away his confidence facade, he hated how soft he was around you, how vulnerable. But that smug smirk wasn't gone just yet. He had one more "prank" to pull.
Ha, he wishes it was a prank. It really wasn't. This was actually the most serious he's ever been. He stared at the crudely drawn purple heart on a piece of scratch paper, only now doubting everything he's ever done as butterflies arose in his digital stomach. Standing outside your door, he suddenly felt all the nerves coming back to him he never thought he'd have to feel again. Jax swallowed down his nerves, but still couldn't hide the flush look on his face--or the fact that his pretend-guts were being tied into a bow.
Inside the small homemade card was an admittance to something he never thought he had to admit. Something he'd rather admit in person. Instead, since every inch of his confidence was gone at this point, he confessed in horrible handwriting, written with crayola twistables.
Jax took one final breath before sliding the heart under your door.
#headcanons#x reader#x reader hcs#x reader headcanons#jax#tadc jax#tadc#jax x reader#the amazing digital circus#tadc x reader#the amazing digital circus x reader#tadc jax x reader#jax x reader headcanons#jax x reader hcs#tadc headcanons#the amazing digital circus headcanons#fluff#tooth rotting fluff#crush headcanons#confession#confession headcanons#requests open#request please
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YESSSSS I BEG GET INTO THE CULTURAL DIDFERENCES BETWEEN HYLIANS AND HUMANS 🙏🙏
...now ur just sweet talking me 🥰 /lh
Not years, well maybe 1 year-
but i have wanted to ramble desperately to smone, even the tumblr void if i had to, abt humans vs. hylians so much, esp with a guide reader or male reader bc whatdya know im into niche stuff that only u and like 2 other ppl like lmao ¯\(ツ)/¯
Anyway im so shocked, since ur like the third person to be interested in this and wanna hear abt it 🥺 🤲💌 here u go!! Hope u like it <333 👉👈
Sun: Masc!Reader (he/him)
Orbit: Humans are Not Hylians/Humans are Space Orcs AU, Headcanons-ish, long overall but each section is kinda short
Stars: Mostly worldbuilding! you've been warned, don't get mad me for not talking abt the boys too much✌���
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cursing, mentions of private area/joke in the clothing headcanons, & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
☆
just some quick headcanons bc tbh i haven't given it too much thought, and i feel like I've been able to somewhat get into it in other posts? or maybe im thinking of stuff i have in my drafts idk-
Imma make another list, so buckle up for the short ride lol
Courting periods/dating/marriage
individual/small groups society-based hylians v. large personal groups/large community society-based humans
simpler foods hylians v. complex food humans
clothing modesty/style/relationships with fashion
fighting styles/strategies
entertainment complexity/differences
and language
☆
1st one, not much yet, im also making a separate post bc someone else asked me to talk abt that more 🥺
(tysm for all the enthusiastic asks guys <33)
anyway, basically hylian courting is a lot shorter, think “lesbians with the uhaul” type of energy, like sort of the classical medieval “does thee wish to pursue marriage with this one?” ← how hylians ask u out for the first time lmao
if it helps, they do tend to get to know one another well, talking about morals/kids/life goals/preferred lifestyle/house/etc. pretty clearly and quickly, then using the in between time to sort of stew on that information
id say the total time is sort of something like 6 months? maybe 3/4 if they're really compatible
(so bc i love interpreting video game logic for real world building, I actually blame this on how fast Zelda/link get together in games despite having sometimes never met before that moment lol)
like i said, ill be posting about this later
2nd one!!
pretty basic, just saying we don't really see hylians in big groups, despite the organizations they form, like kingdoms/knights or on a more personal level, towns/families/etc.
(once again, in-game appearances/video game logic translated to real life to draw these conclusions)
like not only are family units pretty small, like nuclear family setup, with like 2 parents and 2 kids, or single parent 1 kid type of situation, but the towns or collections of these families arent very big either
hylians kind of use their government the way it was intended lmao?
like the villages and towns matter more for everyday decisions than the kingdom/royalty, like Zelda would esstientally just be the mayor of Castle Town for those constant decisions,
while occasionally is called on to make decisions like for several towns or like is a natural disaster happens
meanwhile humans are, in comparison, in Way Bigger groups, both on an organization scale, and a personal scale
like u have all these specific branches of government, whereas im sure the population difference doesn't help,
and on a personal level, humans can easily have like multiple parents, lots of siblings, and once u combine that with each parent having family too, and those families like to meet up? All together??
yeah, itd look insane to any hylians (who’s smaller extended family may just make up their own village and that's it)
3. I've touched on this
like the use of spices, syrups, seasonings, etc
but also the complexity of dishes too, like chilling cream and mixing it for awhile to make ice cream, or even just getting ordering a pizza,
that's a lot of processing, like making the dough from flour and other ingredients, to letting it rise, to making the tomato paste, making cheese, then combining those things with any other toppings, all into one dish??
i like to think that hylians have only just started to touch on actual complicated cooking processes (as in BOTW, where they sell flour and salt, so people besides Link/Wild must know what to do with it)
this has the advantage of impressing any hylian with what a “creative genius” you are lol
4. look im just a fan of medieval time periods Links
so i think its funny if the hylians are used to like 4/3 layers and ur over here like, “wym, if i take off my shirt there's nothing underneath?”
one of them gets bold enough to ask, “d-do you not. do you not have undergarments??”
you “just my boxers? like just to cover my di-”
also this makes its easy to seduce people here? LMAO
clothes are def higher quality, after all there's not as many artificial processes or materials interfering,
plus u usually get some sick embroidery on it too!!
5. so like i get it, Link is the main fighter in games
but like, the few times there is a war/army in loz games, there's rlly not a lot of strategy, beyond just finding the enemy and fighting
tho im partial to that hylians/most inhabitants of Hyrule abide by the “lets meet up either literally by inviting each other or just between our territories to fight”
with occasional guerilla warfare (by any means necessary/stealth/ambush attacks/strategy) that's only rlly used either by Demise/Ganon, or by the wilder individuals/races in games
or maybe even the more civilized fighters in an emergency
and so that means by this logic that all of the Chain use kind of wild techniques compared to their race/kingdom lmao
id imagine its not too surprising to also see “every fight is a bar fight if its for my life” from individual travelers, so im sure they're not viewed too crazy (esp when ppl know their the hero that constantly has to deal with guerilla warfare from Ganon)
but its be hilarious to watch the reactions of both the Links realizing they’re in a bigger group that should be using “proper” fighting strategies and seeing the general publics reaction to this absolutely feral, armed to the teeth, trained hylians with their equally wild human lol
LMAO everyone thinks ur the reason they started using the more brutal fighting methods bc ur human, ur a bad influence lol
(humans would use it primarily, esp after we converted to use that method in warfare a couple hundred years ago i think?)
changing course a bit, hylians tend to use weapons (to compensate for difference in strength compared to humans, and since they don't experience/get a lesser version of adrenaline)
while humans tend to equally rely on weapons and our body as a weapon (marital arts/basic self-defense)
6. this is mostly bc the hylians only rlly seem to have the basics of music, books/stories, theater, and art
i have, surprise surprise, another post abt how i think this came to be,
mostly based on how human curiosity is indomitable and insatiable and the endless force that has not yet met its immovable object.
or at least an immovable object they haven't at least poked a little, out of curiosity lol
like we went to space for that reason, we reach the most dangerous corners of our planet (deep underwater/volcanoes) out of sheer curiousity/for the sake of simple knowledge of the thing
so needless to say, curiosity can absolutely drive any field to its limits, including the arts, which is why we can have stained glass, or movies/tv shows, hell, the marvel that is Hatsune Miku lmao
(fully for entertainment, a projection of light and sound, what is essentially magical illusions but u did it hte hard way, to the hylians)
on a different entertainment related note, i don't know if the hylians would be super into sports, or not really at all? mostly bc they have to use their fighting/training against real threats, not the sort of “fake” threats that sports are
but on the other hand i could see people like knights wanting to use their abilities for something other than violence and fighting bc their life or their villages lives depended on it
bet the Links would enjoy it for those reasons especially, what with at least sumo wrestling being a sport or activity for them at some point in history, and practically beg u for any new games to play, or to ref their games, bc whewwww
im sure they could get pretty competitive lol
7. obviously, their mostly influenced by the Japanese language
id almost like to imagine a sort of, if not outright Japanese (like with earlier heroes like Sky) then a sort of English-Japanese hybrid further along the line
sort of like how English has German/Greek/Latin roots and therefore u can see what words or structure comes from where, or even how u can understand a fair amount of basic words when other languages share the same roots (english, pants = spanish, pantalones)
would make for some funny miscommunications
or even better, most hylians liking ur unique accent or the Links love to hear u talk bc of it lol
☆
well the fever has broken, i am now free of the sickness that made me hack this up geez
i hope u got some enjoyment out of these my beloved anon!! esp since u were so nice as to ask abt it <33
hope u guys have a great weekend, look out for some more posts, bc its been great to get some more asks in lately and very motivating,
not to mention i actually have time to write now that my siblings graduated/we’ve moved several states over 💀
so i have reliable internet now too! sheesh :’)
Peace out,
🌙
#all the inspo in the world from u guys to write and yet i am FIGHTING my executive function and life circumstances to be here#its ROUGH out here at the moon company inc.#nothing new to file if i dont make some writing blurbs to file away lol#linked universe x reader#lu x reader#male reader#linked universe reader#lu x male reader#link x reader#loz link x reader#linked universe male reader#moon asks#humans are not hylians au#lu humans are space orcs au
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I want to get more used to writing low stakes lil blurbs so please enjoy this, also posted on ao3 under my pseud brewstersbru :) hopefully being able to post it here will bring the perfectionism anxiety down lol
***
Astarion is perhaps the one of the most interesting, irritating, but somehow undoubtedly kind people Halsin has ever observed. Though he’d flay anyone who had the audacity to tell him it.
The duties of an Arch-Druid are many, and often arduous in nature, but nonetheless rewarding. And it all boils down to watching, observing, noticing little idiosyncrasies in the people he leads. The people who trust him with their lives and wellbeing. Halsin has become well-accustomed to watching, as any good leader must and it is no surprise that the skill has followed him to where he is now, camping with a menagerie of illithid-infected souls, searching for a cure.
Though, with this aforementioned observational skill, Halsin has gotten the distinct impression that many of them seek quite a bit more than a simple cure. Absolution, freedom, a clearer path forward. It is so often in the words they don’t say, rather than those they choose to reveal. For example, Gale never talks of an ‘after’, a concept all of the others seem so enamored with, save Astarion, of course. He simply hums and offers a small melancholy smile when conversation turns to the topic of everyone’s plans after they find a cure. It wasn’t difficult to figure him out, not when Halsin had been paying attention. Gale is convinced that dying is the only way to atone for his sins. To be forgiven.
Halsin’s heart aches at the thought; poor child, it is not a sin to wish to be loved. But he digresses.
Astarion, curiosity that he is, had immediately captured Halsin’s attention when he’d joined camp. On the surface he seemed shallow, and ill-tempered, but Halsin has not gotten this far in life by making quick judgements on a person’s first actions after he’s met them. Sure enough, he’d caught a glimpse of the real Astarion not even two days later.
It had been a long day, brimming with long, arduous battles after which they had all come out exhausted and bloodied. Wyll, with his lion’s heart, had fought especially ferociously. Perhaps too much so. His robe was torn horribly across the front and he’d had to be propped up as they trudged back to camp, unfortunately neither Halsin nor Shadowheart had maintained enough energy to heal anyone.
Astarion had almost immediately wedged himself under Wyll’s arm, curling an arm around his waist while also berating him as they walked. “What in the hells were you thinking jumping out like that! You’re weak, leave the feats of strength to Karlach you dolt!” And on and on. The words were cutting, and not entirely fair, but still, his hands remained gentle against his friends skin and he walked slowly so as not to jostle his injuries.
Shadowheart- exhausted herself, likely with a beast of a headache after all of the concentration spells she’d been slinging- had told Astarion to shut it, only hearing the words and not the worry behind them. He had obliged- another kindness-as his eyes darted around the scrunched pain painted over her expression and his own expression set in resolve. Still, he performed a pout, and everyone took it for what it was- or rather, what he’d wanted them to take it for: Astarion being his usual surly self.
Halsin took it for what it truly was, a man doing his best to aid his friends and keep their spirits high after such a grueling encounter. He’d thought they needed someone to direct their exhausted irritation at, lest they start picking themselves apart instead (something Halsin had noticed, but was unaware Astarion knew of) and offered himself like it was as natural as breathing.
The kindnesses didn’t stop there, either. When they made it to camp he’d taken Wyll to his bedroll as the others collapsed onto their own. Rummaged through the camp supplies until he found a potion of greater healing, then did not feed it to Wyll until he was half asleep and delirious.
“Mmh… Dad?” Wyll had murmured, eyes squinted closed as he moved his head around. Astarion had simply hummed and continued feeding him the potion.
For the rest of the night he prepped ingredients with practiced efficiency and left them next to the communal cooking pot for when the rest of the party woke for breakfast. Halsin had needed to trance for a few hours, loathe as he was to turn away from the scene, and when he returned Wyll’s robe had been mended, folded and placed aside his head. Astarion was nowhere to be seen. Halsin hoped he’d found his way to his own tent for a short trance.
Elves do not need to sleep, this much is true, but even a short trance would have done wonders to refresh and replenish his energy. Astarion had to know that.
Halsin is still unsure what the other elf had done for the rest of that night, but he’d emerged from his tent with just as much practiced, haughty vigor as he’d always had halfway through breakfast the next morning.
“Astarion! Good morning! Thank you for aiding me in our trek back yesterday.” Wyll had smiled at him, something warm and molten in his eyes. Astarion simply huffed and waved it off, “Well, dear, someone needed to lecture you about the dangers of heroism. None of these dimwits were going to do it.” Wyll smiled and the others gave halfhearted protests from where they’d been digging into the breakfast Gale had prepared from the ingredients Astarion had left out for him. There was a sparkle in his eye as he caught sight of them eating it, something almost like pride, if Halsin had to name it.
The others had been dumbfounded, asking around the campfire about who had done it. When no one came forward they’d simply shrugged and taken it to mean that the culprit was too humble to take credit. Besides, who were they to question a miracle such as this. No one asked the vampire if he’d done the deed, why would he have? He doesn’t eat food anymore and he doesn’t even really like them.
It’s exactly what he wants them to think. Halsin has to give him points for his dedication to maintaining pretense. Wyll doesn’t mention his robe, but his eyes dart from hand to hand trying to scrutinize any bandages or pricks that might indicate a late-night sewing session. It’s a smart move on his part but Astarion, it seems, is a masterful tailor. His fingers are unbandaged and unbloodied.
Everything carefully thought out and executed. Every kindness meticulously planned and hidden. He truly is an enigma. He would rather his friends believe him selfish and cruel, than see him for the gentle, caring man he truly is.
The kindnesses continue, always carefully implemented so as to erase any and all suspicion that Astarion may have had any part in it. He continues to be outwardly difficult and mean so as to cover his tracks. Halsin can do little but watch, as he always has, that is, until Astarion’s little kindnesses eventually and inevitably extend to him, too.
He is not so easily fooled, has seen past the performance that the other man puts on for some reason that he is still trying to parse.
It’s a quiet evening, the battles of the day had been hard, but nothing they were ill-equipped to handle. The shadow curse has been getting to Halsin, though. Seeing his greatest failure in all of it’s unbearable misery has been weighing on him. And he knows his struggle is not invisible to his fellow party members. They seem unsure what to do about it, though, seeing as he is a centuries old former Arch-Druid with life experience they could hardly fathom. He enjoys his time at camp but cannot say with certainty that he is truly close to anyone there. Though he wishes to be, he is afraid they’ve placed him on somewhat of a pedestal after his actions in the grove, forgetting that he is fallible and full of emotion, same as them.
He very nearly misses it, when it happens, too caught up in his thoughts to hear the slight shuffling near the entrance to his tent. Thankfully, he doesn’t, and emerges with a small smile.
Astarion freezes at the sound of his emergence, crouched over something small and wooden at his feet. Then, almost as if possessed, his shoulders relax and he looks up with a devilish grin. “Halsin! My dear, I was just looking for you. Some wretched little thing of a child has gifted me with perhaps the ugliest wooden duck I’ve ever had the misfortune of laying my eyes on. And these things are in no way ‘beautiful’ on a good day. I cannot have something so… distasteful loitering around my tent. You mentioned you liked ducks so I thought it would be of better use here. Otherwise I’m throwing it in the river.” It’s a lot of words, more than the vampire generally tends to use in casual conversation, as much as he pretends he’s an insufferable chatterbox. That’s the second clue Halsin gets that perhaps there’s more to this than Astarion is telling him. The first being the way he froze, as if he hadn’t been expecting Halsin to be there. “Looking for you”, right…
Astarion stands and nods at the duck on the ground. It’s small, a little misshapen, but it’s got hearts carved where it’s eyes should be and for some reason Halsin finds that hopelessly endearing. He kneels and cradles the thing gently in his cupped palms.
When he looks up Astarion is grinning at him, still in that sneering performative way he likes to, but in his eyes that shine of pride makes itself known. Halsin likes the duck, it’s obvious. And Astarion is proud of himself, but he’ll never tell. He’ll never let anyone else be.
The third clue is dripping sluggishly down Astarion’s finger, stark and red against his deathly pale skin. Halsin remembers the first time he’d whittled. His hands had looked much of the same. He smiles.
“Thank you, Astarion. This is very good. Would you like some salve for your hand?”
Astarion’s eyes widen, only fractionally, but noticeable if you’d been looking in his eyes. And Halsin had been. Still, his expression shutters and he pastes another smirk on before turning his nose up at the duck.
“Thank the Gods, that ugly thing is your problem now. And I’ve no idea what you mean dear, my hand is perfectly serviceable.” He rushes away with a perfunctory wave, likely to rob Halsin of the opportunity to call him out on his bullshit. Halsin only smiles and cradles the duck. He’d bloodied his hands for this, for him. The surge of affection that washes through him is entirely involuntary but wholly welcome.
Astarion wakes from his trance the next morning to a gift settled gently at the entrance of his tent. It’s a wooden cat, masterfully carved from a dark oak and undeniably beautiful. Perfectly fitting the vampire’s tastes and sensibilities.
A note lies beside it in what he recognizes to be Halsin’s messy scrawl.
Thank you, Astarion, again for the duck. It thrills and delights me to know that you care. It did make me feel better, you know, and I still have that salve if you need. All you have to do is ask. I thought I’d return the favor, seeing as you do so much for the camp but refuse to let anyone see it, or thank you.
I see you. I thank you.
Yours,
Halsin
#bg3#astarion#halsin#bloodbear#halsin x astarion#halstarion#gale being a wet cat#wyll being dashing and heroic#can you tell im swooning#i care him sm#you guys dont get it like i do#covert kindnesses#astarion is kind of like those cats that look away as they slide food towards you#like ‘gods ur pathetic but /here/ i guess’#brublurbs
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Thoughts on the Lost in the Book Halloween Event [Ep 1-3]
hello 🤠🤠 guess which bitch decided to kick this blog alive after checks calendar 6+ months of inactivity.......
unfortunately, twistie wonderworld has created a not-azul character that appeals HEAVILY to my tastes 🧍♀️ and you may as well call me dead with how much i've thrown myself off a cliff over mr skully j graves
this is also not counting that AZUL MOTHERFUCKING ASHENGROTTO IS IN THE EVENT AND THEREFORE I GET DOUBLE WHAMMIED
SO ANYWAY. I WOULD HAVE DONE EPISODE BY EPISODE SCREAMING AND CRYING BUT MY ASS HAS BEEN TIRED AND BUSY THE PAST TWO WEEKS. BUT THIS RECENT UPDATE HAS GOTTEN ME BY THE T H R O A T SO IM UP. REVIVED. AND ABOUT TO BLOW PPL'S EARS OFF WITH MY THOUGHTS ON THE LORE, AZUL, AND SKULLY
since all 3 episodes have been long out, i'll just give my thoughts on the theories that sprung, thoughts on moments that struck me, and thoughts on the most interesting lore we get
Episode 1
it is embarrassing to admit how many times i've entered 1-4.
when i heard the voiced line, i was like ?!??!1/1!?!1 because not even rollo and fellow got that much voiced lines
and then when i saw the translation, it was joever for me
YOU CANT JUST GO "hello, hey, you who slumbers in my arms, can you hear my voice? please wake up for my sake" AND EXPECT ME TO BE NONCHALANT ABOUT IT................ IM JUST A GIRL
anyway when he said moshi and wagahai, that was when people started going oh fuck is he even from the present?? IS HE EVEN HUMAN???? and his asking what magical pens are does Not Help
all i can add further to this discussion is that i have not seen enough discussion about the fact that we don't really see his ears in the live2D............
his school lore is rly interesting too because he implies that magical stone distribution isn't equal unlike what the nrc cast have now (which is that they each have 1 stone of the same quality). so if the theories about him being a past nrc student are true, then it opens up a lot more lore about nrc's history
speaking of "skully being a past nrc student" theories, i do actually support them! for one, epel was silenced by jamil when he was about to say that they're students of night raven college. writing direction wise, i find it a very suspicious move to cut epel off just before he mentions where they go to school. but i think the strongest evidence right now is the detail that a jp tweet pointed out, in which skully also called the town in sage island the foothill town. said tweet said that night raven college students would call it the foothill town because it's how they see it from their point of view of being on a cliff. to them it's the town on the bottom of the cliff, or the foot of the hill. but for royal sword academy students let's say, since the town is just right next to them, they wouldn't call it the foothill town because it doesn't make sense in the perspective of where they're located. tho ill say, im not really sure if it Is officially called the foothill town in the twisted universe (it is called the foothill town officially in location names though). if it is officially called the foothill town in-universe, then consider this evidence null
its pretty crazy to me how deliberate the cast choice in this halloween feels because u really feel it when riddle called for a leader's meeting and it was just first years left alone. overblottees altogether is already an INSANE choice that i'll get back to later in this post, but for majority of them to be dorm and vice dorm leaders, it's p interesting. but it ends up making sense tho later on when they start doing halloween prep (and let's be real, if it was the others, barely anything would be ready)
it. left me insane. how skully gave everyone a kiss. like sure, it probably wasnt the best feeling to have your hand kissed without consent. BUT. I REALLY LIKE THAT HE DOES IT TO EVERYONE. INCLUDING US. im pretty weak to being included in general, so skully rly stole my heart here, like the kiss on the hand (WHICH IM ALREADY WEAK TO) isnt already stealing my heart. it adds sm to his character too 😭 when u account for how he's been made fun of, him talking to everyone and including even yuu is a way of him coping with the loneliness he's experienced 😭😭 he tries to be gentlemanly to everyone he meets
hinterlands!! just a side note, but when i was watching nightmare before christmas earlier, i realized how similar the hinterlands doors are to the mirrors in twst. cause u can still arrive at the hinterlands from the different towns, the doors just let u travel faster to them. the beginning of the movie also specified that nightmare before christmas was set in a time long long ago, when it was the age of the holidays. though the halloween townsfolk aren't familiar about twisted wonderland, it's a really cool thought to consider that maybe they were in the same world, it's just that they wouldnt have called the entire world as twisted wonderland, they just know of their own towns. or at the very least, in-universe, the writing of hinterlands' doors was inspired by OR PROBABLY inspired mirror travel
SKULLY LOSING A BIT OF HIS POLITE SPEECH WHEN HE MET JACK SKELLINGTON, IT'S SO CUTE 😭😭😭 but i also wanna bring it up now that having this event feature both the og character and the character twisted from them is BIG. the moment jack skellington was teased in the trailers, i knew twst was starting to bring out the big guns. i always figured ever since way back then that twst was going to let us meet the great seven, but we just don't know How. but it's Big that we even get to see the interaction between the movie character and the twisted character because it may be a possible foreshadow to what may happen once we start to tackle the historical revisionism of the great seven's' stories and how our characters will react to it. halloween 2 and glorious masquerade were also used to foreshadow book 7, so lost in the book nbc event foreshadowing something like book 8 or hell even book 9 would make sense.
HAHAHA AZUL BEING ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED WHEN JACK SKELLINGTON SCARED HIM AND EPEL EVEN JUST A LITTLE BIT YEAH GET REKT ASHENGROTTO HAHAHAHAHA KEEP DOING WHAT UR DOING PUMPKIN KING 🥰🥰🥰 SEEING AZUL SCARED SHITLESS IS SO FUNNY
Episode 2
ok episode 2. god fucking damn it this episode RUINED ME PERSONALLY
but before we get to that, i wanna talk about skully's vision of halloween because i found it very interesting
when he was talking about how halloween should be silent, dark, and a time of reflecting on repentance and atonement where you can have an aid for it (like a pumpkin or a candle), i genuinely felt my catholic upbringing hit me way harder than with rollo. i SWEAR i've had my mom tell me once or twice while i was a kid that halloween is supposed to be a holy day because of the word hallow, and how it was called hallows eve😭😭 and how it's not good to dress up in costumes of witches, monsters, and devils because it's devil worship or smth. and it's also why we never had halloween decor growing up. im pretty sure she no longer remembers that cause we're now way more lax about those things, it's just that damn, i'm just saying y'all, i would 100% believe a person in 2024 celebrates halloween similar to skully's version
maybe it's just me being stupid pilled, but i really find the situation very ironic. i know that the interjection of the night raven college boys to voice out their disagreements about skully's way of celebrating halloween is to mirror the interjections of the townspeople when they were trying to understand and even voicing out disappointments about jack's presentation of christmas. but i find the scenario very very interesting because irl, christian puritans and conservatives would scoff at the pagan traditions, call them barbaric while we're at it, and do the whole thing of inserting christianity into it. it doesn't help that pope gregory III called november 1 as a day to honor all saints and then oct 31 was called all hallows eve, and then the christians celebrated some of the samhain traditions as well. but you see here in the story how it's the night raven college students, who promote a festive and more modern halloween, calling skully barbaric for his ideas of halloween, especially for the elimination of ghosts.
some ppl might find skully's ideas boring or too traditional. for me, it's kinda just a matter of differing cultures. like, i've grown up having a mix of trick-or-treating halloweens and halloweens where i just stay indoors. and i grew up in a catholic sphere where halloween in skully's vision is much preferred. so maybe it's just me but i can't really hate his vision. at the same time, i've also been on the side of completely shutting down people who bring up arguments rooted in strict catholic tradition, simply because i looked down on them. but i got lectured (not directly) that we shouldn't immediately shut down those arguments because hey, there are points that are made, esp if worded right. so reading this conflict in episode 2 tickled my brain. in the end, though, my overall thoughts are: i think that while skully looking down on people for disagreeing with him is something for him to improve, nrc students aren't totally in the clear either. they're all fair for having their disagreements, but in twisted fashion, they're all stubborn as hell
this also made me think about the ghosts and how the vast majority of twst might perceive them. the population of twst is still vastly non-magical, and while the dead are generally celebrated, i can't help but wonder if nrc's harsh reactions to skully's bias against ghosts is due to the fact they are in a campus where ghosts are able to manifest all year round and therefore they get to interact with them. but for a good majority of the population that cannot see ghosts nor are they mages, how do they really feel about the ghosts? i find it to be food for thought. and on that topic, people also avoid ramshackle because it's haunted. though,,, from the way halloween is characterized in twst, it sounds like everyone really celebrates the ghosts coming to the living, esp because the magic is stronger everywhere. but are all cultures receptive to that..?
anyway, poor skully had to meet the jack who's been seeking out something different for halloween (esp bc movie jack was dissatisfied initially with his pumpkin king schtick) so he's had to have his ideas rejected
jamil's so kind as to comfort skully. very interesting part though from azul 👁👄👁 he's like "well if his ideas get rejected then he should just make a new proposal, don't give up" and it's just a nice lil look into his projection. like dang azul :') it's obvious that he gets up very quickly after every setback, but knowing that in his mind, he Has to get up quickly, and thus expects everyone to do the same,,, ,he never gives himself time to breathe and process, i kinda cry for him. jamil thankfully being like "yea he can do that but still, it sucks to be rejected" like yes jamilllll say it!!! on another note, this feels like a really good idea to write for an azujami fanfic :)
THE MUSIC GROUP SEGMENTS. WHY ARE AZUL AND SKULLY INTERACTING REGARDING MUSIC. TWICE.
like the first one, we get to know the music tastes of azul, jamil, riddle, and skully. azul, being the gay ass bitch he is, exposes jamil's music taste, being fast tempo music one can dance to
as a classical music girlie, i personally lost my mind when skully asked if it was waltz or tango music 🤡🤡🤡 LIKE. WAAAAHHHHH WALTZ AND TANGO MUSIC ARE ABSOLUTE BANGERS PLS I NEED PPL TO BE FAMILIAR WITH THEM AND OUGH OUGH THE THOUGHT OF DANCING A WALTZ WITH SKULLY AND—
azul u bitch telling us that u listen to a lot of genres and play jazz music for mostro lounge fucfkfufkcff LIKE THE JAZZ IS A GIVEN. BUT AZUL WDYM BY A LOT OF GENRES. DO U STILL LISTEN TO JAZZ AZUL? OR HAVE U DABBLED INTO TAYLOR SWIFT AND OLIVIA RODRIGO? ARE U SECRETLY A CHAPPELL ROAN AND CHARLI XCX GIRLIE? HAVE U LOOKED INTO INDIE ROCK BANDS? DO U ALSO LIKE CLASSICAL TOO PLEASE SAY YES
riddle, in typical fashion likes classical music!! AND SKULLY ALSO LIKES CLASSICAL MUSIC YYYYYYYYYYESSSSS FUCKKINIGFIGNFDNKGNKFD WINNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
AND JACK ASKED HIM WHAT SKULLY LIKES AND SKULLY SAID HE LIKES OPERA AND IM SO HAPPY THAT SKULLY GOT TO FANGIRL ABT JACK ALSO LIKING OPERA AND EVEN SINGING FOR THEM (and jack's singing is amazing like no cap)
but also suddenly i regret not listening to more opera in my life. im sorry puccini for ignoring u all this time. i may or may not have binged some opera music the night of the update.
BUT THE SECOND MUSIC DISCUSSION. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME TWST ISTG. WHAT ARE U DOING MAKING SKULLY GO "ooh ive been thinking of learning how to play the piano" AND AZUL GOING "i know a bit of the piano!" U CANT JUST TEASE US ONCE AGAIN ABOUT AZUL'S PIANO EXPERIENCE WHILE ALSO MAKING SKULLY WANT TO PLAY PIANO.. .. ..... ...
that aside, idia also mentions doing programming music, so like MIDI and shit. wooo sound prod idia lezgooooooo
i do love also that skully asks us if we play music!! AND AZUL BEING EXCITED IF WE DO SAY THAT YES WE CAN DO MUSIC, OUGH AZUL U PREDICTABLE MF BUT ALSO THE WAY U MOTIVATE ME
anyway, just before the second music group segment, we get a really nice conversation between skully and sebek, in which skully shares that he's afraid if everything he's known is so far from reality. and sebek's like ok u respect tradition but u also have ur ideals, u should be more firm in ur ideals. and skully's poetically thanking sebek for showing him the light, and ty sebek for contributing to the future shitshow that skully will start in episode 4
Episode 3
ah yes. the episode where i lost all my marbles
first part, we get lock, shock, and barrel popping in. jack said that they were going to help out, but they ended up causing a lot of chaos
absolutely LOVE how they rattled almost all of the students, like i wheezes at lock calling epel a shortie and epel losing it. then vil's like, epel that is a CHILD insulting u, dont stoop to their level. and then lock was like ewwwww ur eyelashes look like centipedes, and vil was like SAY WHAT BITCH and jamil's reminding him of what vil just said.
AND THEN THE FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE EVENT: LOCK GIVING JAMIL A BUG ON HIS HAND, AND JAMIL PROCEEDING TO FAINT
in true gay fashion, azul tells epel and the audience about jamil's fear of bugs
SECOND FUNNIEST MOMENT: LOCK OFFERING THE BUG TO JADE BUT JADE'S LIKE nah give it to vil and epel BUT THEN HE'S CALLED BORING AND THAT FUCKING TRIGGERS HIM???? JADE LEECH, THE MAN THAT DOESN'T USUALLY GET FAZED BY PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS OF HIM, GETTING PISSED OFF THAT HE'S CALLED BORING TO THE POINT THAT HE GOES "give me the bug. i will even make exciting reactions. just give me the bug." LIKE HOLY SHIT FKDHFAKJBFSKANFKNSAF THIS MAN HAS A COMPLEX ISTG
barrel sticking candy onto riddle's clothes and then eating it, u see riddle and trey being hella weirded out by that
idia's like, i wanna go away from this i do Not like parties, but malleus completely mishears idia and is like omg party? you want an invitation to a party too? omg me too bestie and idia's like oh my god nO
then u see shock staring at malleus and sebek's yelling at her but she's quiet.... until she hops on top of malleus
sebek's like WAKASAMA ILL TAKE THEM OUT FOR U but malleus is like don't sebek.......... I WILL TAKE THEM OUT MYSELF lightning strikes
congrats to azul, trey, leona, and idia for having the privilege to just stand there and panic at the chaos going on
jack is hella sad about the state of things
and SKULLY. SKULLY IS PISSED AT HOW MUCH OF A MESS THINGS HAVE GOTTEN. AND THEN HE'S LIKE IM GONNA TAKE CARE OF THIS
ANDDDDDDD THE MOMENT THAT MADE ME DIE IN CHAT: "Light the lanterns. Scary Night (Oct. 31)!"
guys i think skully likes halloween, im not sure tho
anyway, skully's unique magic can change people into pumpkins, and lock, shock, and barrel turn into pumpkins. once skully transforms them back, they're like do it again !! but skully's like no my UM is still developing so i cant use it more than once. but still, this impresses everyone.
SOME LORE ABOUT MAGIC: jamil says that skully's um is pretty advanced because it's appearance changing magic, which is already really hard with the aid of a transformation potion. and leona points out that while it might not work on those with high mana, it can at least catch someone off guard. i think it is also worth bringing up that transformation potions generally are banned, so this is a really interesting um that can still be perfected and developed !!
poor sebek, he gets jealous and tries to assert dominance but even malleus compliments sebek, and that pisses him off more SKDFJNSDKSDSKF
anyway sebek demands a third round of splitting into different teams so he can try to be with malleus, even when everyone was already happy enough with their teams
well sebek won finally BUT poor skully, he's now separated from jack AND HE'S CRYINGGGGG
leona is so funny, he's like oh thank GOD im not with the octavinelle bitches, and azul's like aw dont be lonely there :))) istg i love these two bitches and their bitchiness rubbing off each other, it's so yummy (and with the latest octa manga update it's made even YUMMIER)
can i just point out that for three consecutive rounds, azul's been in the music team. LIKE TWST CMON IF THIS ISN'T TEASING US ABOUT AZUL PLAYING MUSIC IN A LATER EVENT, IDK WHAT IS. PLS TWST. PLEASEEEEEEEE
too bad for leona, he reunites with his bitches later on 🥰 and by GOD the banter and the lore drops here are really yummy
well first off, we gotta get to the convo between leona and skully. skully compliments leona and stuff but leona's like ok bro u gotta focus on urself first. don't look away from ur dilemma rn that what u thought ur idol was is not how he actually is. basically, skully gotta acknowledge the disillusionment that he's experiencing
OH DEPENDING ON UR CHOICE, IF U AGREE WITH SKULLY THAT YES JACK'S PUTTING A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO THE HALLOWEEN PREP, HE'S GONNA BE LIKE "yes yes!! u see it too!!" AND THEN HE KISSES UR HAND like maaaaaaan THIRD KISS IN THE EVENT UWEEEHHHHHHHHH i feel so loved 😩😩😩
anyway you, skully, leona, jack, jade, and azul meet. we get more details about skully's way of celebrating halloween, he shares that he spends halloween alone, but jack's like nono! halloween is something we should spend with everyone! and this is probably skully's last straw because he ends up shocked and asks to leave, saying he'll help out lock, shock, and barrel
oh girl bye it's about to start
now music group's gotta compose AND WELL. FINALLY I GET CONFIRMATION ON THE COMPOSITION SKILLS OF AZUL (and jade). BOTH OF THEM DONT KNOW HOW TO COMPOSE....
leona's like lmao dont merfolk love singing or some shit, aND THIS ACTUALLY GETS AZUL PRETTY UPSET. Azul's like, hey not all merfolk like music or have an inclination to it! How prejudiced of u leona, and meanwhile jade's like well he's Not wrong idk any mer who dislikes music. dang did azul actually have a thing about not being skilled at music before???? or does he actually care more about his people than he lets on? both maybe?? that's so sweet tho
anyway they manage to shift the conversation to making fun of leona for not being good at singing HFSKJDHFSDKFHS octavinelle bitches i love u to the ends of the earth
top moments from this event definitely includes jade going "aw azul he's probably tone deaf" and azul dramatically gasping and going "jade how can u be so blunt?!?!?!?"
leona ends up singing the coconut song from his homeland (the one zazu sings to scar when he's caged) to show that yea he Can sing. AND AZUL AND JADE FOLLOWNSKNGSDNFNLKSDNFADNFNLNFSDF FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK WHY IS THIS EVENT NOT VOICED,,,.,. AZUL, JADE, AND LEONA SINGING THE COCONUT SONG TOGETHERR.
LORE DROP: the song is also rly popular in the coral sea, as in they learn it when they're really young. and leona's like well it makes sense, the sunset savannah faces the sea, so trade between us and the coral sea is very likely to happen. WORLDBUILDING MY LOVE
HAHAHHAAHHA AZUL IS LIKE "wow leona ur so good at singing, u should sing for the mostro lounge" AND LEONA'S LIKE "yeah and my payment should be u guys fighting against us in magift" AND THE WAY AZUL AND JADE WENT OK NEVERMIND HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AND AZUL'S PANICKED FACE IS SO FUNNY GET REKT AZUL LMAOOOOOOO
anyway we go to the trey, jamil, riddle, and idia group AND THIS IS A FUNNY ASS GROUP TOO
POOR IDIA GETS SCOLDED BY TREY BC THEY ASKED IDIA WHAT HE EATS AND IDIA MENTIONS HE BASICALLY EATS JUNK FOOD AND TREY'S LIKE UR NOT TAKING CARE OF UR JAW!!! UR JAW'S GONNA BE WEAK!!!!! AND UR TEETH!!!! OH MY GODDDDD
riddle mentions he eats the daily special in the cafeteria bc he can calculate the amount of nutrients that he gets. dang that's some habit to get from his mom, i really hope he's getting his fill this time :')) at least get some more protein riddle
trey was so close to being screwed bc he says he rly loves the hamburger steaks in the cafeteria and they're so good he could eat them every day. but then riddle gets mad because there is a queen of hearts rule banning hamburger steaks on tuesdays AND TREY HAS TO CLARIFY NO I DIDNT ACTUALLY EAT IT
jamil meanwhile mentions he rarely eats at the cafeteria cause he makes food for kalim anyway so might as well make his meals. honestly real and good for him.
AWWW SALLY WANTS TO MAKE FOOD FOR JACK AND JAMIL GIVES HER ADVICE well that backfired on him cause now she wants him to taste test her soup BYEEEE
AND JAMIL DOES THE SAME THING MOVIE SALLY DID WITH FINKLESTEIN he uses the spoon with holes, pretends to like it (which shocked EVERYONE AT FIRST) and then he tells the others fuck no yall i didn't taste it, it looks rancid af (and honestly smart move jamil bc there is a nonzero chance that the soup contains deadly nightshade in case sally wanted to poison dr finklestein, and if not deadly nightshade, frog's breath would be terrible to deal with)
anyway moving on to the vil, malleus, sebek, and epel group!! ok this group is so cute cause the two first years are together, and their senpais are with them!!
WE GET A LOT OF LORE HERE OMG so they used to dye cloth with plants in lilia's house because they got,,, three colored sauce,,, on the curtains. malleus offered to buy new curtains but lilia said no. me too vil and epel, idk what three colored sauce is. ik it's a reference to the three fairies BUT HOW DO U GET THREE COLORED SAUCE LILIA PLS I HOPE IT'S THREE SAUCES IN DIFFERENT COLORS NOT ONE SAUCE IN THREE COLORS
finklestein mentions oh we have witches here too u know! and vil's like omg they must be beautiful like me
if u watched nightmare before christmas before this scene, you KNOW this is the start of the punchline. unfortunately, i did not have the pleasure of watching nbc before this so i did not get to enjoy the joke BUT I DO NOW
so the witches come in and OF COURSE VIL'S FUCKING HORRIFIED THAT THEY'RE UGLY AS SHIT. AND THE CHERRY ON TOP IS SEBEK BEING LIKE "ohhh this is a punchline" HAHAHHADKABSJDBJS
BLESS THIS UPDATE BECAUSE THE LORE DROP HAS BEEN SO GOOD THIS WEEK we get broom lore in which not every broom can be used for flight. the ones in school are standardized to be good for flight. i feel like i've heard the first part in another place, probably a book or so, but the second one is new
anyway after all that prep that everyone does, skully's asking lock, shock, and barrel 😨😨😨 THEY ALSO MENTION BOSS. SO OOGIE BOOGIE EP4???? PLS?????? ESP KNOWING THAT SKULLY AND OOGIE HAVE A LOT OF SIMILARITIES TO EACH OTHER SO LIKE MMM MM MMMM M
zero is soooo cute :')) he liked leona, and he found the smell of tea on jamil rly nice too
ZERO SNIFFED THE SUS ON TREY AND JADE AHAGAGAHAAHSFDHGHFHGC RIP TO THEMMM tho lowkey treyjade won too bc hey :) trey said he never got to own a dog cause his home (a bakery) couldnt have one. jade finds dogs adorable. treyjade could 100% have a dog in their house
riddle and idia were criticizing how they approached zero LMAOOOOO AND IDIA EVEN SAID HE WATCHED VIDEOS OF APPROACHING DOGS. WELL CLEARLY THOSE VIDS WORKED W HOW ZERO RAN AWAY FROM U IDIA.
SALLY ACTUALLY GOT TO GIVE JACK THE LUNCH SHE MADE HIM 😭😭😭 im so happy for her honestly, esp cause in the movie, she snuck it to him :")) but here, she gives it. well, she still sneaks it BUT SHE DOESNT HAVE TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW AND MAKE A PULLEY SYSTEM TO HAND IT TO HIM!! bless jamil for helping her too
AZUL PLS "id love to help sally out" whats w u and ppl in love, huh, azul 🤨
oh hello 3-19 whats gonna hap-
🧍♀️
chat he's lost it
CHAT HE'S KINDA HOT WHEN HE LOSES IT.
SHFCJGCJGVGHVHJ SKULLY CONFIRMING JACK'S VIEWS ON HALLOWEEN AND THEN HE. PUTS JACK TO SLEEP. WITH A DRINK. BRO PUT DEADLY NIGHTSHADE IN THAT.
AND SKULLY REPEATING HIS MONOLOGUE IN THE PROLOGUE. AND HIM GOING "ahh jack-sama pls dont worry, ill protect the true halloween, even from u jack" girl everyone smelled the yandere. have u seen jp twitter/bluesky? the yandere is BAD
and it's hot on him. good god
AND THEN OH GOD WE COME IN CAUSE GRIM WANTED TO EAT JACK'S FOOD BUT WE FOUND SKULLY
AND SKULLY TURNS GRIM INTO A PUMPKIN THINKING THAT GRIM CAUGHT HIM. NO SKULLY U JUST OUTED URSELF, GRIM'S STUPID AS FUCK
oh god i got dizzy w this last part YUU HAD THE CHOICE TO SAY "why are you doing this" OR "we won't tell anyone". AND IF U CHOOSE THE SECOND OPTION, SKULLYYYYY GOES OH REALLY?? we're kindred spirits indeed we were fated to meet
girl i fell off a cliff. i drowned even. passed away.
GIRL I ATE ROCKS. WTF. I SWEAR. THE WAY SKULLY TALKS TO US FR LIKE WHAT IM BEING SWEPT OFF MY FEET HERE EVEN IF HE'S GOT SOME SCREWS LOOSE
ANDDDDDD HE TAKES US AWAY.
HAH HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA................
YALL HAVE NNNNNNNNNNO IDEA HOW INSANE I WENT ON MY IG 💀💀💀 literally i had a status that said "OMG YALL MY POOKIE KIDNAPPED ME 🥰🥰🥰" and now my irls are scared. they think i have stockholm's now.
honestly i just love the skullyuu dynamic too, like they're just two ppl who are lonely in their own ways. while skully would talk to everyone as much as possible, he rly talks to yuu.
delusionally, i like to think yuu saying i won't tell anyone is them not being scared but understanding skully too. like, they cant blame him for losing his shit
alot of ppl are also thinking omg skully overblot might happen. and i wanna yell NOOOOOOOOOO to that. on one hand, everyone said the same thing abt rollo and well, he didnt. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, SKULLY LACKS SLEEP, AND THE NARRATIVE REMINDS US TWICE ABOUT THAT. WE DONT KNOW IF HE EVEN ATE FOOD. AND HIS MAGIC IS EMPHASIZED TO BE ADVANCED. AND HE DOESNT HAVE A MAGICAL PEN AND WE DONT KNOW IF HE EVEN HAS A CRYSTAL. THE MAGIC'S GOING TO HIS BODY. AND THE WORST PART IS THAT ALL 7 OVERBLOTTERS ARE IN THE EVENT. THAT CANT BE A COINCIDENCE. FUCK'S SAKE, ONE OF THEM WORKS IN STYX. THE ONLY ARGUMENT AGAINST SKULLY NOT OVERBLOTTING IS THAT HE MIGHT NOT HAVE ENOUGH MANA FOR IT CAUSE HE HAS EPEL'S MAGIC LEVEL. BUT STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL cries
but also having all 7 overblotters may mean that twst wants to hint to us that this event could foreshadow a future arc where we meet the great seven and explore the disillusionment they may face. i'll dedicate a longer post to that though. but im excited for it
i do hope that in ep4 and 5, ppl realize that there is merit to skully's ideas of halloween. in the movie, jack skellington realizes that maybe doing christmas just doesn't suit him and sally was right. and at the end, santa gives halloween town a taste of snow. i'd like to see a merge of the ideas of nrc boys and skully's. at the same time, i hope skully realizes too that halloween can be celebrated with everyone, and in fact, it's more fun that way :'))) i want all of them to learn from each other. i want skully to be happy.
anyway i eat this event. it genuinely made me go back to playing twst as actively as i used to (never mind the fact that i put irl responsibilities to the backburner until urgent-), and im so excited for the last 2 updates 😋😋😋😋 i may also post a few more things about this event before the update on monday because god, my brainworms are terrible
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst jp#skully j graves#riddle rosehearts#trey clover#leona kingscholar#azul ashengrotto#jade leech#jamil viper#vil schoenheit#epel felmier#idia shroud#malleus draconia#sebek zigvolt
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The Bitter & the Sweet — teaser | Kyojuro x F!Ice Hashira
Bundle of Joy (secret pregnancy fic)
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
I meant what I said — in general, no more teasers.
However, this one has been a long time coming, and frankly, I’m interested to see what the reaction will be (if any) to Flame Boy’s Bundle of Joy.
Set post-Mugen with flashbacks. This teaser is from Shinobu’s POV. Y/N is around three months pregnant when Kyojuro is killed, though no one knew he was the father.
Song rec here.
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
Hours later, Shinobu sat in her office, pouring over the early results from Y/L/N’s bloodwork. Her eyes strained to their limit to see if she could catch any sign, no matter how infinitesimal, of what could have caused the young woman’s chest pains.
Shinobu ground the charcoal stick between her fingers in agitation, her brown pinched as she scoured her brain for the possible causes. She had ruled out any physical ailment, she was certain. Y/L/N did not suffer from attacks brought about by nerves, and it was still early enough in her pregnancy that her hormones should still have been relatively stable.
Shinobu thought back to the Ice Pillar’s episode, the way that she had sobbed while hyperventilating, clutching madly at her chest, as if she were trying to hold herself together, as though her heart was falling apart.
Shinobu let out a little grunt of frustration. Just what had happened? Y/L/N’s screams, her tears, her broken utterance about something hurting, none of it pointed to any known injury or illness that the Insect Pillar had ever seen or studied.
It was almost as if it were a reaction — a deep, physical reaction to something else, something not from within, but from the outside-
Kyojuro Rengoku is dead.
Shinobu’s charcoal clattered to the floor, icy sweat breaking out across her forehead as the crow’s words echoed in her mind.
Kyojuro Rengoku is dead.
Dead. Dead. Dead.
Some said that when a loved one died, one’s heart felt as though it was quite literally broken.
Had Shinobu not experienced it herself first hand, she would have said such notions were ridiculous. She’d have scoffed at the idea that emotional injury could ever make a tangible, physical impact on the human body. Physical pain was caused by something real, not something as romantic as a broken heart.
Except, the day the Insect Pillar watched as her sister collapsed in her arms, fatally wounded, Shinobu had been convinced someone had punched through her chest to wrap a fist around her heart, to crush it until it was nothing but dust.
The pain had been unbearable; it had not subsided even hours after Lady Amane had pulled the sheet over her sister’s cold, lifeless face.
Kyojuro Rengoku is dead.
When she’d first informed Y/L/N that she was pregnant, the Ice Hashira had refused to say who fathered the child. But her refusal had not been out of shame or regret or fear — she had smiled, gentle and soft, as her hand caressed her stomach.
Shinobu shot backwards out of her stool, nearly toppling it over as her mind pieced together the dreadful puzzle.
Y/L/N had not suffered from any physical malady. She had suffered from something far worse.
Kyojuro Rengoku is dead.
A horrified, choked gasp squeaked its way out of Shinobu’s chest as her hand raised to clap over her mouth, her stomach clenched and roiling while nausea crept up the back of her throat.
Kyojuro Rengoku was the father of Y/N Y/L/N’s child.
But Kyojuro Rengoku was now dead.
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#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#rengoku kyojuro#kyojuro rengoku#kny x reader#kny#kny rengoku#kny kyojuro#kny fanfic#demon slayer rengoku#rengoku x you#kyojuro rengoku x reader#rengoku kyōjurō#rengoku x reader#kyojuro x you#kyojuro x reader#kyojuro smut#kyojuro angst#rengoku angst
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I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IN STARS AND TIME FOR A SECOND
Okay i just finished watching my girlfriend play ISAT and I felt the urge to dig into the music a little bit and lost a whole day to it. So i think i have to post about it. General spoilers below, read at your own risk.
Ok so Im gonna talk about the title theme and one other song here, which is a secret for later. (This part took like 2 hours to cobble together ill post the other one tomorrow)
In the first statement of the melody, we have a very bog standard i -> III -> IV -> Cadential 6/4 moti-- wait a second.
With where these lines intersect, the A in the middle voice actually dips below the bass voice for the statement of this chord, which means that the chord lands in a second inversion. You wouldn't normally put a i6/4 just after a cadential 6/4 unless you were actively trying to make the resolution feel weaker for some reason. As if you intentionally wanted the listener to not feel a strong sense of returning to the tonic.
When the strings come in we are treated to lush root position 7th and 9th chords to really feel magical and detached from ourselves. Just as well, that cadential 6/4 turns into an entire tonicization for A major! I adore the way the strings milked the motion down from D to C# to C, its a perfect suspension of the old tonic into the tonicized dominant :>. The themes of not feeling at home continue from here. We get the briefest glimpse of a happy A major chord in measure 8 before we lose any sight of an A that feels at home in the harmony. Measure 10's A in the melody is completely unsupported by the G major chord underneath, and the only A's to play in measure 11 are in the bass and the frenetic synth line bouncing between left and right panning, as the upper string descend to a G and the melody completely skips over the A in otherwise stepwise line. I wonder why home is so hard to latch onto in this piece? You're only ever able to grab onto it for a little bit at a time, when you even know what you're listening for.
As we approach the end of the phrase, we finally get a reasonable resolution to the tonic! We made it! However, it is nowhere near as harmonically pleasing as it should sound. Even with the faster pulse flipping back and forth between the ears and the actual stepwise enclosure of the tonic, when a tonic chord finally rings it quickly darts back, and what we get is empty. The 3rd of the tonic is played for the length of a eighth note and is quickly kicked out of our aural memory by the staccato E in the same instrument. And then all previous accompaniment leaves, save for the strings, as the piano enters to play one last statement of the B theme. The title theme makes very clear, we are allowed to approach home, but we are not allowed to linger. As quickly as a taste of it comes about, we realize how much it tastes like nothing.
Finally, we are rewarded with another cluster of A's and E's to leave us feeling empty and full of ennui. Truly we are meant to interpret this piece as Siffrin feeling lost and alone, no home to return to, nowhere to truly rest. That about wraps up my analysi-- hey wait a fucking second.
HEY WHAT THE FUCK.
youtube
If you listen at the very end, the strings jump back up to a D chord at the very end of the piece. D, the key we originally thought we were in. This single chord completely recontextualizes the entire piece and im not kidding in the slightest. If everything that happened while we thought A was the home key was actually just elaborating the dominant, then what does it actually mean? And more importantly, why is it so quiet? What is the purpose of the final D chord, the actual end chord of the piece, when it is so removed from what feels like the real ending of the piece. It's as though it's being intentionally kept at bay, as if we as listeners are actively pushing it away. It's like song itself doesn't want to really end.
Oh.
Studio Thumpy Puppy, if any of you ever read this, please know that I am in absolute awe of your ability to bake in the themes of the story into 42 seconds of music.
Not only does the title theme convey Siffrin's emotional pain from not being able to remember his home country, it manages to tell the listener the crux of the plot before a single line of exposition hits the screen. Siffrin doesn't want his party to leave him alone, he doesn't want their journey to end. He is so desperate to prevent his party from returning home without him that he breaks the structure of the piece, hides the final chord, from his own god damn opening theme. To stop the journey from ending.
If you've gotten this far, please support the artists behind this amazing game. If you haven't bought and played ISAT yet, go do it, and while you're here, also buy the soundtrack. Give these people money!! They're really good at what they do!
Next up: We're With You! Look forward to it, it's also amazing.
#isat#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat spoilers#music theory#holy shit#studio thumpy puppy#Youtube#Bandcamp
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ghost headcannons.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: intense negative emotions (experiences strong feelingsof anger, resentment, anxiety, and stress), grudge holding (hold onto negative feelings), emotional surpression, isolation and touch deprivation (isolated and unaccustomed to phsyical contact, which he yearns for), trauma-related fear, sexual anxiety, mental distress (experiences a lot of mental distress and anxiety, which is exacerbated during intimate situations.) nsfw (sexual content)
safe for work.
ghost is an individual who is deeply angered, seeking vengeance, and filled with intense resentment.
contrary to the popular belief that ghost is understanding, compassionate, or forgiving, i personally perceive him as stern, and he has a tendency to hold onto grudges.
although he might seem “peaceful” on the surface, there’s a storm brewing within him, as he suppresses his anger. this is a detrimental habit of his. in general, his internal emotional state is typically dominated by anxiety, stress, hatred, and fury.
ghost is isolated…
in my opinion. he is deprived of physical contact, but it doesn’t help when he recoils or twitches every time someone accidentally brushes against him. ghost struggles to communicate that he doesn’t dislike the touch, he’s just not accustomed to it (and in fact, he yearns for it more than anything), but he keeps this to himself.
building on the previous point, he is fearful of intimate gestures.
such as hand-holding, close proximity (he doesn’t mind this if it occurs during missions, as long as it’s necessary. e.g., door breaching), and so forth. this fear stems from his traumatic experiences with such gestures…
i believe this is referred to as haphephobia?
ghost has a leaner physique.
in my view. he is strong, but not overly muscular. he’s not leaner than soap or any other guys, though, he’s still a bit more muscular than them.
his build aligns with the original ghost’s, just with a bit more muscle to support the current one.
ghost falls ill frequently.
since ghost doesn’t really take good care of himself, such as getting adequate sleep or consuming enough food/drinks, he tends to fall sick easily.
and he never discloses this to anyone and continues to carry out his missions.
ghost experiences nightmares during his sleep.
and because his dreams are so vivid, he temporarily forgets a person (like soap, if he is dreaming about soap. e.g., soap gets brutally attacked) for a while when he wakes up.
his brain temporarily suppresses certain memories of his to shield him from stress, but they always resurface later…
not safe for work.
ghost is timid, hesitant.
it’s already a small wonder if you somehow manage to have him above you, he’s not accustomed to being this exposed and he feels like he’s on the verge of being sick.
he’s just… unfamiliar with this, trembling the entire time.
this is the real him, a guy with full of anxiety, troubles. a guy who is told to "hide your fear", and don't show weaknesses. his whole fucking walls are falling down because of alot of things are going through his head.
he tends to pause frequently.
don’t worry if he pauses his thrusts, it’s just him reflecting on… certain matters.
you’ll need to gently draw him out of his thoughts if you want him to continue, his eyes fixated on the pillow, lost in thought, is making you worried.
P.S i always imagined ghost as person with mental problems, considering his backstory.
please let me know if this is not canon! i am german so i dont really know the plot very well, im still learning.
(i dont know english pronouncations, just how to type the words)
ill be posting a "dominant and needy" john price fanfiction tomorrow, unknown time. its nsfw.
#ghost x reader#ghost smut#cod#call of duty#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley smut#headcanons#cod headcanons#cod fanfic#cod imagine#task force 141#mentions of#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley x reader smut
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Been scouring your blog to see if you have a specific take and i only managed to find the post where you said you are more for people coming up with their own meaning for Tolkiens work. anyhow, after reading you boromir post on how hope is his poison I am super curious as to what meaning you personally ascribe to it all. A lot of scholars will tout hope over despair as the ultimate meaning here (and the ultimate meaning of real life...ugh) and considering your very gut wrenching but meaningful takes on boromir i was just curious. Your thought process is fascinating from a scholarly viewpoint (which is not my strong suit) but also an artistic, emotional, philosophical, and human viewpoint. Whew sorry this ask is so long and disorganized! Have i mentioned I am not a scholar? :D
First off I love this ask it made me so happy to read I had to do so like five times before I felt qualified to answer it and then I spent like months writing this response which is over 4000 words now if you want to know. And, on that note, dw about scholarliness or whatever this ask has more desire to engage with lotr in nuanced ways than most tolkien scholars achie- (gets hit by a piano) anyway~!
It's also just extremely flattering that you're curious of my personal opinion at all so thank you so very much!
(this is the post anon is talking about for context)
As with all things, my answer has many layers. At the most basic and applicable level, and when taking only my Gondorian/Stewardship investment into account, I am engaging with the story for personal catharsis.
The fact that Gondor felt hopeless, that the enemy was merciless and invincible, that even those figures who were supposed to help had only judgement and platitudes to offer until it personally benefitted them, that Boromir and Denethor were isolated and generally condemned and that many only showed them pity after their deaths, feels extremely cathartically familiar to me and my story with chronic illness. I've spoken about this before here and there, but that is the kind of simplistic, energy giving, 'he's me fr fr' comparison that brings me uncomplicated comfort and inspiration.
But that is definitely not 'what lord of the rings is about' not even just to me, it's not even just what BOROMIR is about to me, it is an element of the story and worldbuilding that I have isolated and consumed but that still exists within a far larger whole. And that whole is also fascinating and compelling but in a far more esoteric and harder to define way.
BUT before we get into it, I do also feel the need to explain the limitations I percieve within the 'lotr is about hope over despair' narrative since you've brought it up but neither your ask nor the post you mentioned properly explains it and it'll enhance my point later. SO.
As far as my experience has lead me to believe, when people say 'lotr is about hope triumphing over despair' they mean it in a moralising fable kind of way. This is definitely the narrative the films latched onto, like a leech. Good characters have hope, lose it only to reclaim it again, teach others to have hope etc, and that is good of them. Bad characters are despairing and therefore have no hope, and they do evil deeds because of the despair and lack of hope. The Aragorn vs Denethor film paradigm.
But nothing within the books is anywhere near as cut and dry. As I said in the linked post, Boromir gains hope after having none (the hope that he can save Gondor by using the ring) and that is bad, it is something he has to 'pay for' according to the narrative. Meanwhile charmed and blessed Faramir admits that he never had any hope quite a few times, yet he is not punished for it. Theoden also has no hope and is explicitely going to war to die, but his death is not considered evil or selfish by the majority. Saruman is very hopeful, he's hopeful that Sauron can be reasoned with, that if they work together they can make a better world, but he suffers 100 indignities and then is killed by a cannibal! And most of all, Frodo also rarely (if ever) shows any signs of hope, he merely doggedly marches on regardless and in the end even takes the power of the ring for himself, essentially the ultimate evil act of desperation, but that saves the world!
For the record the idea that LotR is a fable-narrative of any kind seems exceedingly erroneous to me, like the idea that we are supposed to glean any universal Good Moral from the tale due to Tolkien's 'emminent wisdom' feels bizarre in and of itself. But at the very least this aspect is more complex, I think we can all agree.
But even more than that (and this is more perspective than narrative analysis I suppose but I think it bears saying), ‘despair is evil’ is a kind of horrible thing to teach! If the villainisation of people driven to desperate actions or anhedonia because of the deep despair they are suffering is what LotR is about then that’s.. awful! That sounds like a bad book and I don't think I'd want to read it. But lets put a pin in the concept of condemning people for despair for now, look out for the pin cus it’ll be coming back later.
FOR NOW lets get back on topic, if I don't think LotR is 'about' hope triumphing over despair, what do I think it's about?
Well. I know what I'm about to do appears highly out of character for me so please remain calm and gird yourself before I say this but; Let us start with hearing what Tolkien had to say on the subject.
I do not think that even Power or Domination is the real centre of my story. It provides the theme of a War, about something dark and threatening enough to seem at that time of supreme importance, but that is mainly 'a setting' for characters to show themselves. The real theme for me is about something much more permanent and difficult: Death and Immortality: the mystery of the love of the world in the hearts of a race 'doomed' to leave and seemingly lose it; the anguish in the hearts of a race 'doomed' not to leave it, until its whole evil-aroused story is complete.
(this quote is actually from a letter to a fan who suggested lotr was an allegory for atomic power and he was pretty mean and dismissive about it in reply, it's kind of funny)
Now I've been a bit glib about this in the past, along the lines of 'tolkien's own opinion on what his book was about changed for every year of his life and by the time all his friends started dying around him it became about death, what a surprise' mainly because, again, we've had enough people caring about Tolkien's opinions to do us for the rest of civilisation. But I've always known this glib comment to be pretty baseless and unconsidered, since death was a major aspect of his life from his earliest childhood and it makes sense for that to have been a large part of his work. And since I am being sincere I will, just this once, take Tolkien's hand instead of ignoring him.
For him, the theme of his book was not power or domination (or the evils of war or hope over despair), it was about death. It was about people trying to deal with the realities of death existing for them, not existing for others, and what love (loving the world) meant in that context.
On it's surface I find this quote kind of clinical in it's first impression. There's a prescriptiveness to it that does not inspire me, which isn't surprising since this came from a letter full of veiled snootiness on his part.
But mostly, as a concept.. it seems pretty distant from what actually happens in the story itself, right? What aspect of death and immortality was the fellowship embodying? Boromir certainly died, but he was not looking for immortality and his death is far more concerned with guilt than the fact that he is dying. Theodred is dead already, but not even his father appears all that bothered about it and it's quickly set aside to focus more on the war. Denethor kills himself but his and Gandalf's last interaction says far more about despair and faith than death.
And then no other main character 'dies' at all, unless you count Gandalf. And the only main immortal character we have (other than Gandalf) is Legolas whom, whilst he does have quotes associated with his immortality, is far more invested in his and Gimli's relationship than anything else. It's no wonder people choose 'war is hell' or 'hope over despair' narratives over 'death' as the main theme for lotr from their perspective.
It also does not satisfyingly link to one of the most compelling aspects of the books as a whole; that of how they are presented. The thread connecting death and immortality to writing a story that is from in-universe historical accounts, editted and compiled by many subsequent in-universe hands, is there but hazy. The intense catholic-ness of the story is also intuitably related to death and immortality, but not explicitly.
In essence, death does not feel like the main theme of the books when you are reading them, at least I don't think most experience them that way.
However, in spite of all that, Tolkien's opinion on what his books are 'about' is still the closest I have seen anyone come to my own. Which I assume is hard enough for you all to hear, but imagine how I feel 😩
To me, LotR is most themactically consistent when viewed through the lense of Frodo and Gandalf's ever misquoted early interaction;
"Behind that there was something else at work, beyond any design of the Ring-maker. I can put it no plainer than by saying that Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, and not by its maker. In which case you also were meant to have it. And that may be an encouraging thought.’ ‘It is not,’ said Frodo. (emphasis mine)
It is not comforting to know that the suffering in front of you was always meant to happen, no matter how comforting the idea of a divine plan might be to some. And that is what Gandalf is offering Frodo in this moment, the relief of a divine plan and its ‘high beauty for ever beyond [the Shadow’s] reach’. But this is never comforting to Frodo in the books, the comfort he finds on his martyr's journey is in Sam. Indeed, it is actually Sam who finds comfort in 'the high beauty', this reminder that beyond all his own suffering there is an imperishable and eternal light that can never be dimmed.
But not Frodo, how can he? His eventual fate is to grasp the power of a weapon so unholy it sickens his soul, to do that which he has been told is irreversible and unforgivable, so that he can never be at ease or even survive in the lands he has loved ever again. The 'High Beauty' is what is doing this to him, what made the rules, what meant for this to happen, what he is doing this in service of. And Gandalf, whose soul will be present to see the very end of this tale, cannot possibly understand what it is for your whole life to be encapsulated by just your own small painful part of what Gandalf would propose was a beautiful and universal tapestry.
And lack of agency against the divine plan is precisely the narrative thread that ties every character together. To some it is a comfort, Aragorn and Gandalf and Sam are all gladdened and encouraged by the knowledge that there is some higher power ordering their lives, some greater beauty they are all a part of beyond any earthly pain or suffering. They are not in control and to remember this is a relief. It inspires them to better fulfill their ordained duties and drive themselves through terrible trials.
To others it is no comfort at all, Boromir and Frodo have no faith in the prospect that the divine plan will include success or happy lives for them at the end of their tasks. But it is a hopelessness and uncertainly that they both accept. They simply believe their duties must be attempted anyway, hopeless or not, even if it makes no difference to the outcome in the end. Lack of control is just a reality they live with.
And to some it is a horror. Denethor and Eowyn want to fulfill their duties, but these duties are torture. They demand loved ones die, they demand relentless fear and sacrifice, they demand ceaseless and hopeless toil. And in the end both of them are given rebellious breaks from these duties by the narrative, ones that are horrifying in and of themselves (and portrayed as wrong to one degree or another) but that are still extremely cathartically presented as attempts to reclaim control of their lives away from a callous divine. Even if, ultimately, this also was out of their control.
Merry, Pippin, Legolas and Gimli appear to have never quite had to confront the realities of their powerlessness before. But through the story they become intimately aware of it in ways that force them to make choices they are not ready to make. For Merry and Pippin, this leads them to ultimately empathise with Eowyn and Denethor’s positions, wracked with guilt and equally horrified, attempting to find agency in death where (it appears) none can be found. For Legolas and Gimli, they confront the spectors of lack of agency/death for the first time in the narrative (sea-longing and the Paths of the Dead) and are irrevocably changed by them, eventually leading them both to attempt to circumvent their fates by illegally sailing to the uttermost west. Obviously fandom likes to believe they made it and live happily, but narratively it is also suggested that they died at sea in the attempt.
Now, at the risk of indulging in my ever-derided biographical criticism, I do think that all of these characterful arcs are represented in Tolkien’s own life. I feel comfortable saying that Tolkien was not a happy man by default. He was wracked with guilt from a very young age (wow a catholic with guilt, groundbreaking) but that guilt followed him and found new reasons to manifest until the very end of his life. And a lot of this guilt had to do with death, his father's death, his mother's death, his friend's deaths. And a lot of it had to do with fear of leaving unfinished or poorly finished business behind him at the time of his own death: guilt about how he had taught his students, about his scholarly work, his parenting skills, his so-oft-mentioned faith.
And being a man of faith, he would have experienced all these things as a part of the divine plan, even as they were also his guilt to bear. So, clearly, Tolkien's experience encompassed all of these characters, right? The despair and the torment and combined love-of and frustration-with the divine. The failure. He knew them all. And within all of them, as well as within the narrative and world itself, there is a wrestling, there is an ever-shifting complexity and multitude of different opinions to how one experiences a life that hurts in a beautiful world that you love but that you eventually must leave, with the sensation that you have no control over any of it.
However, a complication to any declaration of ‘what LotR is about’ is that it is a self-admittedly unreliable narrative. If you cannot necessarily believe everything the narrative is telling you, then suddenly additional layers of complexity come into play in determining the meaning within an already complex text. In LotR you can actually track which characters are recounting which parts of the story to Frodo or Sam at the time of writing. But it is also just obscured enough to make it ambiguous and to enforce the idea that this is a version of this original story edited and compiled for many generations after it's writing.
So not only are these characters and events transient, uncertain and being (sometimes bluntly) misrepresented by the narrators, YOU are now complicit in that. You are yet another interpreter to alter this narrative through your perspective, just as all works and all lives are interpreted by those who view them, with no way to control that judgment. You are also a character now, making it even more difficult to make definitive judgments about a question like 'what LotR is about'.
The clearest example of how this narrative unreliability and reader interpretation comes into play within the text itself is when Frodo describes the fellowship's entrance into Lothlorien to Faramir. He is being blindfolded in order to be lead to Henneth Annun, and he recounts;
‘As you will,’ said Frodo. ‘Even the Elves do likewise at need, and blindfolded we crossed the borders of fair Lothlorien. Gimli the dwarf took it ill, but the hobbits endured it.’
But we, as readers of the previous book, know this is a gross mischaracterisation of Gimli. He did not take issue with being blindfolded, he took issue with being singled out as the only member of the fellowship who needed to be blindfolded.
‘As was agreed, I shall here blindfold the eyes of Gimli the Dwarf. The others may walk free for a while, until we come nearer to our dwellings, down in Egladil, in the Angle between the waters.’ This was not at all to the liking of Gimli. ‘The agreement was made without my consent,’ he said. ‘I will not walk blindfold, like a beggar or a prisoner. And I am no spy. My folk have never had dealings with any of the servants of the Enemy. Neither have we done harm to the Elves. I am no more likely to betray you than Legolas, or any other of my companions.’
In this one moment Frodo has taken what was a reaction of justified indignation against racial prejudice, and made it sound like a minor tantrum over a shared burden. He has also used it to further aggrandise his own people in Faramir's eyes. And it is up to YOU to notice this, to review it in your mind, to choose what it leads you to believe about all characters involved. The narrative certainly never helps you, or addresses it ever again. You have to wrestle with what it means in your mind.
I believe this is the reason I have observed that every person who reads LotR and loves it and keeps rereading it feels like they are excavating something. There is a narrative under the narrative for every new pair of eyes on the tale. And that narrative is you, it's who your experiences and sympathies lead you to listen too harder, it's the story of the experiences you understand. And in that excavation, you are also reclaiming a moment of control for yourself in conversation with the story and whatever you have chosen to excavate. One might say these are all aspects of every story, but LotR is unique in its investment and immersion into the concept.
Because, to me, when Tolkien says his story is about 'death and immortality', what I read is that it's about the ultimate lack of control we have (death) and trying to empathise and accept the unfairness of what will become our inherently false legacies (immortality). And then just the vast spectrum of experiences and emotions those things conjure. It's not just about those things, it is an attempted soothing of those fears and struggles, it is an offer of comfort or catharsis or applicability. It is also an acknowledgement of the love that drives you and that you will eventually grieve.
Frodo leaves the shire to save it because he loves it, but he knows the entire time he will never be able to fully return. He is frustrated, it hurts, but a piece of the Shire in Sam comes with him and whilst it cannot save him, Frodo is still comforted.
Sam leaves the Shire because he loves Frodo, and he loves the high beauty as embodied by elves and magic and history. He also knows implicitly that this is a task he cannot refuse, but these things comfort him. He is glad to be guided and strengthened to even greater feats the more he trusts in a higher power, but he has a life and a family in the end. And if that is what the Higher Beauty decrees for him, where it has doomed Frodo to incurable soulful wounds, are we surprised at either of their choices? Can we blame anyone for their hope OR despair in the face of powerlessness? Oh! Look at that! It’s that pin I mentioned quite literally last century ago. TOLD you it’d be back.
And that brings us back to the question, what do I think LotR is about.
We are all powerless in the face of death and in writing a book about death Tolkien’s work has an inherent universal applicability in this regard. Tolkien asks an unconscious question within lotr, how should we cope with being creatures that love the world but that are doomed to die and leave it? And then he leaves that question entirely unanswered. This is what sets lotr apart and truly creates a story in which people can read narratives therein that appear entirely separate from death or any other recognisable theme others might see, without losing the sense of universal appeal. He offers multiple perspectives, including that of the dominant religion’s prescriptive decrees of right and wrong, but there is no solution brought forth in the story that saves anyone from grief or death or regret in the end. Not even Aragorn or Arwen, who are in essence the most holy and faithful characters barring Gandalf within the story, end without heartbreak and despair!
‘‘I speak no comfort to you, for there is no comfort for such pain within the circles of the world. The uttermost choice is before you: to repent and go to the Havens and bear away into the West the memory of our days together that shall there be evergreen but never more than memory; or else to abide the Doom of Men.’’ ‘‘Nay, dear lord,’’ she said, ‘‘that choice is long over. There is now no ship that would bear me hence, and I must indeed abide the Doom of Men, whether I will or I nill: the loss and the silence. But I say to you, King of the Numenoreans, not till now have I understood the tale of your people and their fall. As wicked fools I scorned them, but I pity them at last. For if this is indeed, as the Eldar say, the gift of the One to Men, it is bitter to receive.’’ ‘‘So it seems,’’ he said.
There is no such comfort!! … Or is there?
To me, the appeal of Boromir is in the solution he offers; the comfort is in the wrestling!
Aragorn and Arwen did absolutely everything they were supposed to do, unquestioningly, to the point that Aragorn goes to the Silent Street and just lies down to die because it’s ‘the right time’ and he mustn’t become ‘unmanned and witless’. And then he dies and he makes a beautiful holy corpse that cannot comfort Arwen or his children or his people for even a moment.
But Boromir dies with a smile. Aragorn promises that Minas Tirith will not fall, and that does comfort him, because that was the wrestling he chose, the love he decided to hold, the meaning he decided to find and fight for beyond all his powerlessness to protect it. So that’s the answer I find and it might be different from yours, but it’s in LotR to be read because the story is about the wrestling as much as (if not more than) it is about the end. The road DOES go ever on and on, after all!
So ye das wat lotr was about I fink thanks 4 askin 👍I REALLY hope it makes sense. I also really hope Anon manages to see it after it took so goddamn long to respond 😂
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