#ill make a second one about how he becomes a beauty guru probably

[moved-to-in-love-and-liberty]

This is for all the people who enabled me, including but not limited to @enjolras-would-bang-that and @wellhellothereitscassidy

This is how it starts. 

Grantaire standing in a corner store holding a tube of concealer. concealer, well isn't that just perfect, something to cover me, something to hide me, maybe if I use enough I can disappear. 

He buys it.

Next, comes foundation, bought hidden among milk and eggs and too much wine. maybe I can conceal myself and begin again, build a foundation that can bear the weight of the world. The clerk doesn’t say anything, only stares and when Grantaire gets back to his apartment he starts crying for no real reason

Products build up, a colorless collection of self-hate, designed to hide and conceal and destroy and oh god what if someone notices, what if they see that I’m wearing makeup. Boys don’t wear makeup.

Then, begrudgingly pulled along to pride-- it's okay, I’m okay, being bi is okay --he stops inside a corner store and a boy with glitter on his cheeks stops him and says -

“Cutie you would look amazing with winged eyeliner. you totally have the eyes for it.” and then, with a wink, the boy is gone, out into the swirl of colors and Grantaire is left alone clutching a bottle of water and an eyeliner pen.

He buys it. It was pride.

It takes a while, but hands that hold brushes, that box and dance are steady and gently pull wings out of the creases of his eyes. and when he looks his face is still colorless concealed disgusting-- but his eyes. 

His eyes are beautiful, they look big now, they fit his face now, and for the first time ever Grantaire can’t tear his eyes away from his reflection.

The next time he goes to buy condoms he lingers in front of the makeup case, what would mascara look like?

The time after that he buys some-- and finds out it makes him feel soft and coy, blinking at the mirror. 

Suddenly it becomes something he puts on every morning; do your makeup, make breakfast, put together your bag for the day, make lunch, go back to the bathroom and takes off your eye makeup because boys don’t wear makeup go to work

When Jehan asks him to try this new lipstick he doesn’t even flinch before saying ‘no’ because boys don’t wear makeup.

 but at home it is different, he starts to experiment,  all his extra money funneled to the drug store aisle, he starts to wear colors; lipstick, blush and eye shadow. he buys a highlight and cries because this is what the boy at pride was wearing, 

but the thing he buys most of is makeup remover because not in public not in publicnot in public notinpublic

and it is an untold secret among the amis, that Grantaire wears makeup, seen only in traces of color on his lips and cotton pads in the sink

It is Enjolras who breaks the silence, of course,  it is Enjolras who breaks the silence, giving Grantaire a collection of brushes, 36, and staring him down “Well you’ll need to show us some time” 

So then he wears makeup at home and at amis meetings, where he is met with love everyone gushes over his skills, the colors he uses, how happy he looks

Then he wears it to the store, and to the studio, and to parties- with each place he goes with bright lipstick and bold lashes it’s like a tie being undone, he is able to be him and if that comes with blush and bronzer than that's okay

Then Enjolras always Enjolras comes to him with a blush, and a stammer, and a credit card ‘for my birthday I want to make you happy’ and leads Grantaire to a kind of store he had only seen from the outside, dedicated entirely to makeup, rows and rows, with things Grantaire could never afford but Enjolras just blushes deeper at the wide eyes and slack jaw and says ‘go ahead’.

When Grantaire kisses Enjolras for the first time he leaves a blood red mark on his mouth and a smear of gold on his cheeks.

[diamond-coral]

Bargaining Chip

Hello! This is my first time posting on Tumblr ever:) I pulled this one-shot from a fic I posted on AO3 a few months ago but the plot is irrelavent and I changed it from first person to second as well as some details so it can be read as a stand alone. There’s some plot from the actual story but you really don’t need to know it at all.

There might be a few errors, especially because I changed the entire point of view and converted it to present tense from past tense so sorry:) 

Loki manages to get his hands on you and exchanges you and your body for his ticket to independence from the Avengers. Bucky gets to go first.

Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Characters included: Loki, and a little bit of Tony, Steve, and Thor

WARNINGS: 18+ ONLY!!! SMUT (NON-CON TOUCHING, FORCED ORAL SEX (m receiving), KNIFE THREATS, DARK! AVENGERS, BUCKY’S AN ASSHOLE IN THIS, DEGRADATION, BASICALLY FORCED PROSTITUTION) READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

You awake in the passenger seat of your own car with only foggy memories of you and your partner before everything had gone dark. Your mission from the CIA...breaking and entering the motherfucking Avenger’s facility and managing to escape...you were so close. If it weren’t for him. In your haze, you look to see who could possibly have the audacity to be driving your car, and there sits Loki, the God of Mischief, who you had only scene on the news, driving one hand and inspecting something in his other.

“Good evening my lady. Sleep well?” he mocks without taking his eyes off the item in his hand which upon further inspection from you looks to be... a red leash?

What the hell?

“I do hope you like your outfit,” he continues. “I think I assembled quite the get up for you.”

Looking down, you let out a muffled scream that was cut off by a strip of duct tape. Your hands are bound in your lap, but that isn’t what horrifies you. It’s what’s underneath them. You take into account your bare legs, fully on display, with a black dress leaving little to the imagination. The top half is just as horrifying with it’s plunging neckline. Your legs end with a pair of strappy gold heels that ensures any chances of running away to be futile while your upper arms are adorned in golden bracelets accented with emeralds. Whether the emeralds were real or fake, you could care less. You have bigger problems to worry about.

“What the fuck?!”

Is what you try to say, but the gag only makes it come out as a mangled ball of muffled murmurs. Though the chuckle Loki lets out implies he understands your enraged speaking attempt.

“You, my dear, are going to be a bargaining chip. I heard about your little escapade at the Avenger’s facility last night. Impressive, I must say, but my brother and his little hero posse had been looking for you relentlessly after that. They are practically obsessed with catching the women that managed to break into their high security building.”

Loki takes a sharp turn into a parking garage, narrowly missing the wall. You squeal as your precious car runs over the curb.

“I forgot how much I hate mortal transportation devices. But Stark had to build this tower in the middle of New York to feed his ever-growing ego and now I’m the one that has to rely on a car to get me there,” he grumbles while pulling into a parking space. He takes a deep breath once the car is parked. “Now, I’m going to remove that gag out of your mouth, and if you scream, I will peel your skin off of your body in the slowest, most painful way imaginable. Understood?”

You nod frantically and he rips the tape off, extracting a whimper from your now stinging mouth. You open your mouth for him to take the wad of cloth out that was under the duct tape. As he extracts it, you snap your mouth shut in an attempt to bite him, but he’s quick to evade and grabs your jaw harshly.

“What did I say before?” he seethes. 

“You said not to scream. I didn’t scream. Now let go of my face.”

Loki roughly throughs your face to the side, letting go, and looks around the surroundings of the car, probably checking for any unwanted onlookers.

“Out of the car. Now,” he orders and you hastily oblige using your bound hands to open the door.

As you shut the door, you catch a glimpse of your own reflection and grimace. You look like a hooker. Aside from the skimpy outfit, your hair was pinned up and intertwined with gold strands. Your makeup is done as well. Sultry eye shadow and dark red lipstick.

“I didn’t know the God of Mischief was a makeup guru,” you jab.

He ignores you and harshly pushes you forward. “Walk.”

“Where’s my partner?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Loki replies. “She has other uses than the one I currently need you for.”

“And what use am I needed for?”

“I already told you. By the gods, you mortals are stupid. You are to be a bargaining chip, (Y/N).”

Your blood runs cold. “How do you know my name?” you ask.

“I know everything about you. Including your peculiar abilities.”

You stop dead in your tracks.

“Now, don’t worry,” he adds. “As amusing to me as it would be, I have no interest in enlightening the Avengers to your secret identity. As far as they will know, I am simply giving them the criminal that broke into their compound.”

“And what’s in it for you?” you ask as he guidesyou into an elevator.

After pushing a button, he goes to fix his dark green tie. “Clever girl now aren’t you?”

“Answer the question.”

“How about-no?” he muses and a soft ding resonates through the elevator.

The doors opened and, for a moment, you forget the predicament your in. Inside was the most beautiful penthouse you had ever seen. The opposite wall was made entirely out of glass allowing a view of the New York City night skyline. Everything little piece of furniture each looks as expensive as your car, but your focus becomes drawn to the minibar. The Avengers were all sitting there, laughing, and most were obviously drunk.

“Here James, try some of this,” Thor booms.

Bucky makes a face. “Why would I drink something from another planet meant for Gods?”

“Jeez Buck it’s the only thing that can get you and I drunk,” Steve slurs and claps Bucky on the shoulder. “It’s your birthday. Live it up a little.”

Bucky hesitates before grabbing the flask Thor offers him and throwing his head back, downing the flask in one go.

Loki seems to have enough of the party scene as he clears his throat to interrupt them.

“Gentlemen-”

Before Loki uttered another word all the Avengers clambered from their seats to grab their weapons, but their intoxicated state just makes it a comical sight. Captain America falls over in an attempt to reach for his shield below the table. Tony Stark’s iron man mask smacks him over the head as he fails to turn in time to catch it on his face. Sam Wilson chokes on his drink and falls backwards off his barstool in shock.

“I come bearing no ill tidings.” Loki spread his arms.

“Then why bother coming at all?” Thor growls, shifting his hammer to his right hand.

“I’ve come to make an offer.”

With that, Loki snatches your wrist and throws you towards him and the other men. You stumbled in you stilettos and let out a yelp as you land on the floor looking up at the 5 present Avengers: Thor, the Winter Soldier, Captain America, Iron Man, and the Falcon. They all look down on you with perplexed looks etched onto their faces.

“You guys have been so caught up and stressed about finding your security breaches that I was generous enough to do some finding myself,” Loki explains.

“And how do we know you didn’t just pluck some prostitute off the street?” Caps eyes rake up and down your body.

Loki scoffs. “Always the skeptic captain. Does this answer your question?” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a flash-drive.

Tony snatches it from his hands. “Jarvis, what’s on this drive?” he asks, holding the drive up to a scanner in the glasses he’s wearing.

“It appears to be the files you have been collecting the 2 vigilantes you have been tracking and-.”

“Okay thanks J!” Tony interrupts quickly before Jarvis could spill any more information. He proceeds to storm up to your cowering and kneeling form that hadn’t dared move and harshly grabs your jaw.

Jesus, what was with these men and your poor, bruised jaw?

“Why would you possibly need this information?” he asks calmly, but his eyes are feral. He studies you and his brows furrow. Did he manage to piece it all together that you were the alleged vigilante they had been hunting? He lets go of your jaw and throws you back on the floor. “What business do you have looking for them?”

Looking for them? You let out a sigh of relief.

“None of your business,” you spit.

“Anyways,” Loki continues, and the drive suddenly disintegrated in Tony’s hand while reappearing in Loki’s. “I will happily hand over this seemingly important information along with the girl for you to do with her as you please, but…” He pauses. “Only if you stop tracking my current whereabouts.”

“And why would we do that, Loki? You’re dangerous,” Steve notes.

“I was dangerous,” Loki interjects. “I have been a good boy haven’t I? I would like to lead a normal life without you imbeciles tailing my every move. If I slip, Thor here will know within the second if I’m involved with anyone wrong doings, won’t you brother dear?”

Thor grunts at that statement.

“Besides, Stark’s satellite can track any magical energy if I use it. Which I won’t.”

“Fine. Now hand over the drive,” Tony snaps and holds his hand out.

After Loki drops the small gadget into Tony’s hand, he hauls you up and spins you around to face him.

His voice is quiet and low. “Be glad I didn’t tell them about my plans for you friend. It would be a shame if they found out about her abilities...and yours.”

He spins you back around to face the 5 men whose eyes were now raking up and down your body. “Easy on the eyes isn’t she?” Loki mentions, hands falling on your waist making you squirm. “You know, I almost considered keeping her for myself. Her exotic beauty is that of a pleasure maiden on Asgard.” Your struggles are invigorated at his implications. “Enjoy your whore.” And with that, he gives you one final shove before vanishing.

It’s silent for half a minute before one of the men speak up.

“Alright who wants to take her for a spin?” Tony asks, clapping his hands together. “I vote the birthday boy gets first dibs. Huh, Buckaroo?”

You blanch at the idea. Were they really going to go through with what Loki wanted? What happened to the valiant heroes you saw on your screen?

“Wait Tony, you can’t be seriously considering Loki’s suggestion?” Sam Wilson sounds surprised.

Tony shrugs. “Why not, Birdie? It’s either this or high security prison and I don’t think she wants to rot in a cell.”

“She is standing right here and would rather rot in hell than do what Loki had in mind,” you hiss.

“Well it’s a good thing we weren’t asking for her opinion,” Tony says.

“Tony’s right, Sam,” Steve adds slowly. “We bust our asses out there. We deserve something nice.”

“Day after day we save this pathetic world, and no thanks are given. Just everyone saying what we did wrong. We should’ve left the world to fend for itself after they tried shoving those ridiculous accords down our throats,” Thor murmurs

Sam raises both of his hands up in defense. “Fine. Do what you want with her. I’m gonna head out.” And with that he leaves. Your heart sinks, watching the only glimmer of hope, your knight in shining armor, walk out the door. Your self-pity party is cut short by an arm snaking around your waist.

Bucky Barnes, trained assassin, mass murderer, and now current Avenger, puts his face in the crook of your neck and inhales deeply, sending shivers down your spine while you stand frozen like a deer in headlights. “What do you say, doll? Wanna finish what we started the other night?” His hand on your waist slowly drifts down to your ass.

You stomp your heel down on his foot eliciting a groan of pain. “Last time I checked, you were in the dirt, and I was driving away that night after a successful robbery. There’s nothing to finish.”

He moves quickly as he rips your hair out of what’s securing it up, using the opportunity to tangle his hand into the roots and drag you away to a separate room. He wrenches open and throws you in, leaving you to stumble and trip. A searing pain on your forehead signaled that you hit your head.

“How about we use that snarky mouth of yours for something better hmm?” His voice is ice cold with malice as he grips your hair and yanks you up.

You cry out in pain, tears pooling in your eyes.

“Not so tough now, are you?” he sneers down at you. Hearing the sound of a belt unbuckling and pants unzipping, you shut your eyes.

A tear escapes, cascading down your face, but his thumb gently wipes it away.

“Open your eyes, doll,” he coos.

You shake your head and screw them shut even tighter.

“I said...OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!” he roars and your eyes fly open only to see his member sticking out of his slacks right in front of your face. He’s almost fully hard as precum dribbles out of the tip. “Good girl,” he praises. “Now, since you can’t seem to keep your snarky mouth shut, let’s put it to better use. How bout that?”

You don’t move, and he sighed as you look down to the floor. You hear some shuffling, a small click, and suddenly something cold and sharp is pressing under your chin, tilting your gaze to his steel blue eyes.

“Let’s try this again.” He pushes the knife harder, digging it a little deeper, but not enough to draw blood. A knife. This dirty bastard has a knife. “Suck. My. Cock.”

Pushing all your pride aside, you direct your gaze to the task in front of you. Bucky lets out an approving hum and the knife is removed from your throat. You swallow before opening your mouth and dragging your tongue from his base to the tip before wrapping your lips around him and sucking lightly.

Bucky was no slacker down there, you had to give him that. You ease your mouth down his shaft and his head tilts back.

“Oh fuck that’s it,” he moans. “Take my dick down your throat.” He grunts. His metal hand fists your hair to push your head down, sliding a few more inches into your throat. “Oh-that’s a good whore,” he breathes.

A gag is torn from you and you slap your hands against his thighs to imply you couldn’t take much more. Bucky’s only response is another grunt as he jams the rest of his length down your throat leaving your only intake of oxygen to come from your nose which was now mashed right above the base of his thick cock. As quickly as he pushed you down before, he pulls you back off by your hair, letting you go to wretch, gasping for air and freedom. A strand of saliva still connects from his tip to my lips.

“I’m not done with you yet.” He snags your hair again. “Open wide, slut.”

You do just that and he begins to fuck your throat at his own pace, sliding his entire length down every time. Tears brim at your eyes, not just from the lack of oxygen, but the humiliation of the moment as well. The time passes much too slowly for your liking, minutes dragging on for eternity, before he begins to reach his climax.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” His cock twitches in your mouth.He holds your head with both hands as he releases straight into your mouth, warm thick strands of his release coating the back of your throat. He pulls out  with a pop and smirks down at you. “Good little sluts swallow” he orders.

You glare up at him, making a show of not doing anything.

“Well?” he demands and raises a dark brow.

You spit his own climax onto his expensive shoes.

“Why you-!” He raises his hand, getting ready to send a smack to your face.

“Barnes!” A female voice comes from the doorway as the door flies open. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

There stood none other than the Black Widow.

[timemachinesims]

Sailor Moon Legacy Challenge (Get Famous Rewrite)

Required Packs: City Living, Get to Work, Parenthood, Seasons, Cats and Dogs, Get Famous (Optional: Vampires) (June 2019 Edit - Optional: Island Living) - feel free to adjust if you don’t have these to make something workable.

Unless stated otherwise, assume sim must reach top of their career and complete their aspiration.

Heirs can be selected however the player likes, and don’t have to be biological heirs. Adoption is allowed. You can move the household to different lots throughout challenge. Aging is on. Lifespan normal. Seasons can be whatever, but I like two weeks.

No money or real estate cheats. No unfair mods. Or, you know, do whatever you like and play in a way that’s fun for you. It’s a video game, for pete’s sake.

SUPER BONUS CHALLENGE: have all generations have the SAME CAT who you keep using age-down treats on and refuse to let die

and/or Run a cat legacy while you play - family must always have at least one cat and all cats should be descendants of first cat

GENERATION 1: Sailor V

Optional Colors: Orange, Red, Yellow

 Traits: Romantic, Outgoing, Music Lover 

Career: Detective 

 Aspiration: World-Famous Celebrity

Other: Cursed to never find love -can never have a boyfriend/girlfriend or get married -can’t have any other sims move in with them either, making them a single working parent -master singing skill (if possible, make this what you’re famous for) -reach video gaming level 5 (BONUS: Win a prize at the Ultimate Gaming Test in GeekCon) OPTIONAL BONUS: have to accept all dates asked on, must date as many sims as possible EXTRA EXTRA HARD OPTIONAL BONUS: if you have a risky woohoo mod, no “try for baby” allowed. If you’re accepting all dates, must woohoo on each date, and no birth control allowed.

GENERATION 2: Sailor Moon

Optional Colors: White, Pink, Dark Blue, Magenta 

Traits: Good, Glutton, Childish

 Career: National Leader (Politics Career, Politician Branch)

 Aspiration: Soulmate

Other: A Miracle Romance -Must unlock Sixam through Rocket Science -Must marry an alien

GENERATION 3: Tuxedo Mask

Optional Colors: Black and White Traits: Kleptomaniac, Loves Cats, Family Oriented Career: Veterinarian - Must have a four star clinic and at least one five star review. (Honestly getting a five star clinic is too hard in this game - I won’t make you do that). I’m saving Doctor for Mercury, so that’s why he’s not that.


Aspiration: Super Parent

Other: Looking for the Silver Crystal  -complete the Crystal Collection -Max out the Mischief skill (primarily through stealing)

HINTS AND TIPS (added August 2019): This generation is a really involved one. I think possibly the hardest. So, some things to help: 1) He has to complete the Super Parent aspiration, but that doesn’t mean that has to be the first aspiration he takes. Even if he immediately changes it, if the first aspiration he takes is a Nature aspiration, he’ll get the “collector” bonus trait, which will help him find rare crystals faster.  2) Endless crystals and minerals spawn on the Scientist career lot. He can join the career and just ignore his work and harvest all day. Don’t worry about getting fired, you can just join the job again. Plus, actually playing the career for the career’s sake is Pluto’s job!  3) The game is on normal lifespan, but there is no rule against (for this or any other generation) using a Potion of Youth from the reward store.  4) Take advantage of lot traits to help him gain skills more quickly. “Peace and Quiet” is especially useful for reading parenting or mischief books (do try to get as much mischief as possible through stealing, though. It’s really fun!) 5) Once your vet clinic reaches four stars, you are under no obligation to keep playing the career. You can walk away and never open the clinic again, or even sell it. You have other goals to accomplish! 6) Given how much of Mercury’s generational goals are in childhood, it’s probably best to save having kids (or at least your heir) until you can put your focus there entirely. 

GENERATION 4: Sailor Mercury

Optional Colors: Blue

 Traits: Genius, Bookworm, Unflirty

 Career: Doctor

 Aspiration: Nerd Brain

Other: Studious to a Fault -can never skip school or play hooky -must always do homework AND extra credit work -must always be careful when making school projects -must always “study hard” while at school -always do the studious thing (if applicable) during schoolday text prompts. -Achieve Good Manners and Responsible reward traits. -complete the Whiz Kid childhood aspiration. 

(Their childhood is gonna suck, but they can lighten up once they become a young adult, though they must reach the top of the Doctor career.)

OPTIONAL HARD VERSION: A Perfect child. Just try to get all the good Parenthood traits, maybe all the scout badges. Max out all toddler skills. EVERYTHING. This is an overachieving child. 

GENERATION 5: Sailor Mars



Optional Colors: Red, Purple

 Traits: Self-Assured, Ambitious, Non-Committal 

Career: (not necessarily in this order, but these are the selections) 1. Critic or Style Influencer 2. Business or Social Media, 3. Secret Agent or Astronaut. This sim may not repeat any of the careers of their ancestors. Careers have to get to high enough level to complete aspiration. CAN try to max out final career as a bonus.


Aspiration: Renaissance Sim

Other: Hates Men - Cannot talk to men. (I mean, you won’t get punished if you look away for a second and they’ve done some stuff autonomously, or if the game requires it to advance). If the food stall owner or gardener or whoever is a man, this sim can’t talk to them (other sims in household don’t have this restriction).

An exception MAY be made for 1. any male children

2. if heir is a female sim who is going to have kids and you don’t want to just make a beautiful trans lesbian for her to fall in love with (or make HER a trans lesbian) or adopt (or use a same sex pregnancy mod), then an exception may be made for the subsequent heir’s sperm donor (though she may not marry him and after pregnant must end the relationship, and not amicably).

An exception is NOT made for any male parents of the sim, who this sim doesn’t like. This sim may only talk to male parents to fight with them or perform mean/mischievous interactions and may declare their father(s) their enemy.

- max out the wellness skill - make a BFF in their lifetime

GENERATION 6: Sailor Jupiter

Optional Colors: Green, Pink, Floral Patterns 

Traits: Romantic, Foodie, Neat Career: Gardener in the Floral Designer track

 Aspiration: Freelance Botanist

Other: Overcoming Rejection, Living in Domestic Bliss - Sim must be rejected on an “Ask to be Boyfriend” or “Propose” interaction, end the relationship, and find new love. - Max out the Baking skill, Cooking skill, and Gourmet Cooking sell baked goods through a stall or vending machine or other retail mechanic - must throw a wedding event when they get married, bake their own cake, and get a gold rating.

GENERATION 7: Sailor Pluto



Optional Colors: Black, Maroon, dark shades

 Traits: Loner, Perfectionist, Gloomy

 Career: Scientist

 Aspiration: Friend of the Animals

Other: I Always Wanted To Fight By Your Side - Sim can only make one adult friend, but befriend as many children an animals as desired. - Sim must become BFFs with at least one child (can be their own), companions with at least one cat, and then die from something other than old age. - Child must witness death. This does mean you have to work faster to complete aspirations. Game can be manipulated to cause death (build walls around swimming pools or whatever you would like), but use of cheat codes/mods to induce death is not allowed.

GENERATION 8: Sailor Uranus



Optional Colors: Yellow, Navy 

Traits: Active, Goofball, Bro

 Career: Tech Guru (eSport Gamer)

Aspiration: Bodybuilder

Other: Destined Couple - Sim can only have one romance over their life. - Sim must marry their BFF. - Sim must perform at least two romantic interactions with their significant other every day (starting with the dating stage - as soon as they have any kind of commitment).

GENERATION 9: Sailor Neptune



Optional Colors: Teal, Seafoam Green, Blue Traits: Creative, Snob, Art Lover

 Career: Painter (either branch) Aspiration: Musical Genius

Other: Deep Sea Submerge - must have a swimming pool and swim at least once a day - Must max out fishing skill - Must have an aquarium and fill it with sim-caught fish, including at least two rare fish.

SAILOR NEPTURE - ISLAND LIVING EDIT (June 2019 - might edit as I find out more about the pack)

Traits: Replace “Art Lover” with “Child of the Ocean”

Other: Deep Sea Submerge (v2) - must become a mermaid - can only fill hydration need by swimming in the ocean - must max relationship with dolphin 

GENERATION 10: Sailor Saturn

Optional Colors: Purple, Black

 Traits: Squeamish or Vegetarian or Lazy (to replicate her illness), Evil, Cheerful 

Career: Criminal (Oracle Branch) or Master Vampire

Aspiration: Public Enemy

Other: It’s The End Of The World As We Know It

-Go to town killing sims, burning down property, destroying everyone’s happiness. The more bodies the better. The more witnessed death the better. The more damaged property the better. - Sim must repent before they die, and retrait themselves into good (using in-game retraiting potion in the rewards store) - Repair at least one damaged relationship - from full red to full green.

GENERATION 11. BONUS ROUND - Sailor Chibi Moon

Optional Colors: Pink

 Traits: Childish, Geek, Player’s Choice 

Career: Player’s Choice

 Aspiration: Player’s Choice (but might I recommend Successful Lineage or Mansion Baron?)

Other: It’s a bright new future in a brand new world. Make the best world possible from the ashes of the past generation.

[neetu-uplifts]

Oneness

Man, I love this word. It runs deep for me. When I hear or think “oneness”, something inside my mind releases and my heart warms. I feel connected to everyone around me, even if just for a few seconds. My ego and the dualism that it creates (me-them, me-her, me-him, us-them) weakens just by saying “oneness”. It’s such a powerful word. It speaks to the ultimate truth about life and all living beings. We are all connected at the core. We all emanate from the same source - the life force that runs through our bodies and keeps us breathing, walking and talking. Our false egoic identities create divisions among us. We’ve slapped labels on ourselves and on each other, creating conflict, separation and hate, when truthfully, underneath all that, we are one.

Ego: Public Enemy #1

Eckhart Tolle drops the mic when he reminds us that “You are consciousness appearing as a person for a little while”. Read it again, slowly. You are consciousness appearing as a person for a little while. And so is every other living being around you. We are all consciousness in different bodies (costumes) for a short while. We are souls having a human experience. Ultimately, there is no difference between you and me. But we think we’re different from each other because of our ego (false identity). It’s interesting to think about this in the context of someone who we intentionally want to distinguish as very different from us. For example, when I think about a Republican Trump supporter who makes racist and/or sexist comments, I need to separate myself from that. The stories around what that person is and how they think create an image that I could never associate myself with. But I need to remind myself that we are all suffering from the same mental phenomenon of being stuck in our false identities (Liberal, Conservative, Jewish, Sikh, Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Black, White, Brown, etc) and we operate from those respective vantage points. Underneath all that, the essence of our truest selves is the same. At the core, (soul level) there is no difference between me and that Trump supporter. We are both pieces of the same infinite light. When I think about it that way, I don’t hate on or judge the Trump supporter as a living being. I lose interest in thinking about them as a Trump supporter. The labels fade away. I can and will absolutely call out garbage behaviour, condemn social ills and stand against unjust ideologies. But I don’t have to attack the individual; it’s about attacking the twisted ideologies, which stem from the pathology of their ego. We’re all suffering from our ego - just in different ways or to different extents.

Sadly, maintaining a oneness mindset 24/7 is incredibly difficult as the ego is incredibly powerful. We have spent decades being conditioned by the ego, building and believing our false identities and the labels and stories that come with them, as well as the labels and stories about others (I’m Neetu and this is my story and these are the things that define me and my life….blah blah blah….those Republicans over there are so whack….). The more we watch our minds and practice awareness the more conscious we will become and the weaker our egoic selves will become. The ego is false (it’s not you) but it basically controls you because you’re so identified with and attached to it and the thoughts and emotions it creates. It’s like we’re asleep and consciousness is the cold bucket of ice water that will wake us up. Once we stop identifying with our stories and our thoughts and feelings, which are created by your ego, we become way less judgmental. We see no value in defining ourselves or others. We define others in reference to ourselves (i.e. that person is younger, smarter, fitter, more accomplished, calmer than me, etc). Remember, ego is anything we’re identified with. As we navigate this human journey we’re on, it’s helpful to have a name, some material possessions like clothes, a home or a cell phone, and loved ones who we recognize as our family members, etc. Let’s enjoy these aspects of this human experience. It’s when we get lost in these things and derive our sense of self from all of the labels, possessions, achievements, suffering, attachments and addictions that we’re stuck. The goal is to be like the lotus flower, in the water but not consumed by it. You’re in this world (human form) but not of this world (you realize who you really are is the deeper soul). Once we give up attachment to defining ourselves, we won’t have a reference point against which to define, compare, assess or stack others. We will just see consciousness everywhere - within and around us. There is no false identity to protect, validate or defend. Thoughts and emotions emanate from the ego; they are not the truth of who you are. Who you are is a permanent state of being or “is-ness”. Neutral, non-reactive, at peace, connected to everything. Getting there however requires us breaking out of our deep egoic slumber. And that, my friends, is not easy to do. But it’s ultimately the point of this human life and the best thing we can do for ourselves and for each other.

Mantra: Give-up Defining Yourself

Sometimes throughout the day I’ll repeat a mantra to myself. When I’m lucky and get brief glimpses of awareness, I’ll catch or notice my ego operating e.g. “that was such a great idea, people probably think I’m pretty cool” or “damn, just killed that last set of squats, so strong, look at that guy, he’s looking at me shocked that I’m lifting this much, yeaah boyyyy” or “why doesn’t she or he make an effort to keep in touch with me?” Ego is present both when we think we’re the shit (high on our story) AND when we feel like shit (low on our story). Any attachment to story = ego. In these moments, I’ll literally say to myself: “give up defining yourself, Neetu”. It’s like slamming the breaks on the ego. I experience an immediate and intense state of presence. I hard stop on the egoic story of Neetu and step outside of the chatter and content of my mind, even if just for a few minutes. I don’t feel bad about the egoic thoughts because I know those thoughts aren’t me. I laugh at my ego and how pathetic it is. This (at least for me) is one of the most powerful and effective little tricks to spotlighting my ego and disidentifying from it (and doing that weakens it), even if just for 30 seconds or two minutes. Try it out! Even just mindfully watching your thoughts the way you would watch a toddler who’s roaming around the house can be very effective. The more we practice awareness the more we weaken our ego. The ego is a tricky bastard though - it will show-up in the subtlest of ways. Ego can develop if we think we’re suddenly “conscious” and “enlightened”, ridding ourselves of our ego, unlike all the other ‘peasants’ out there. Watch for that too. It’s another form of self-definition and story-making and dualism in the mind. The ego is so slithery dude.

Replace Labels with Love

I grew up in a Sikh family. I respect Sikhism but I am not a religious person. I am definitely a spiritual person. What’s the difference? I see religion as man-made. To me, religion is the outcome of centuries of “interpretations” slapped onto the ONE truth, which was shared by several different enlightened prophets - Jesus, Guru Nanak, Ibrahim, Buddha, to name a few. This truth in its purest form was meant to unite people through their oneness, not divide them. But the layers of interpretation and “tweaking” over hundreds of years have resulted in religion being a source of grave divide and hate among humanity. Spirituality on the other hand, honours that single source of truth; the truth of God, who exists in every living being. This was the core message that all of the prophets of every religion were trying to communicate. If you read the Bhagavad Gita, Old Testament or the Sri Guru Granth Sahib, and you break down what they’re all saying, at the deepest level, they are pointing to the one same truth. Their message just got distorted along the way through the dogma of organized religion. Spirituality helps us discover the truth of ourselves. It connects and unites us. It is all about oneness. A beautiful excerpt from Eckhart Tolle reinforces this: “It’s not what you believe (religion) that matters. It’s your state of consciousness that matters.” Don’t ask me what my religion is, look instead at how strong my ego is. Look at how much compassion and kindness I practice. My state of consciousness will tell you where I am on my inward journey home. Home being your soul, a state of oneness and bliss. Also, I recognize that following a particular religion doesn’t automatically mean you are lost or that you “hate” people from other religions. Religion can definitely be a valuable path to community and inner peace. My concern with religion is when it becomes the basis or narrative for hate and separation. Whether that’s the belief that “my religion is the only path to God and liberation” or “people of that religion are all extremists”. If we all just let each be wherever we are, with whatever we see as the helpful path to peace then religion is fine.

Insanity of the Ego

Eckhart Tolle talks about the pathological nature of ego, which causes suffering of various degrees to the self and others. He goes on to talk about the ego having a “fear and distrust of other people, [and a] tendency to emphasize the “otherness” of others by focusing on their perceived faults and [it] makes those faults into their identity”.  I think about this in the context of the senseless and tragic mass shooting at two mosques in New Zealand earlier this week that left 50 innocent people dead. Look at the damage being done through mental labels. Children were among those 50. It’s unimaginably sickening. Tolle explains: “any mental labeling we attach to others desensitizes us to the humanity or the truth of who that person is”. White supremacy, Islamophobia and terrorism - they are all the disgusting outcomes of severely unconscious, insanely pathological egos governed by extreme “otherness”. I love the statement below from Hasan Minhaj in response to the New Zealand shootings - he’s pointing to Oneness.

Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to attend a powerful talk by Pardeep Singh Kaleka and Arno Michaelis. During the 2012 Sikh Temple shootings in Oak Creek, Wisconsin, a white supremacist entered the temple and fatally shot 6 people. The Sikh temple leader, Satwant Singh Kaleka, was among the victims and also Pardeep’s Father. The shooter was a member of one of America’s largest white supremacist groups, which Arno (who had since left that life) had founded. I found the conversation between Arno and Pardeep so riveting because it’s a striking example of how two men, who could hate each other, came together to conquer hate through love. They founded Serve2Unite, an award-winning, international peace building and educational initiative that works with youth to break stereotypes and overcome hate and violence through art and social good projects. They also wrote a book called The Gift of Our Wounds. Their friendship and brotherhood, which was visibly genuine, shows us all what’s possible through kindness and compassion. As Pardeep said on Tuesday night when asked where he found the strength to befriend Arno: “pain will do 1 of 3 things: it’ll transform you for the better, consume you or you’ll transfer it to others”. I’m so moved by both Pardeep and Arno’s intentional decision to transform themselves into better, more loving beings, despite the pain and suffering that initiated the connection between them. 

In a recent Headspace meditation I did, they key takeaway was “The extraordinary-ness (soul) in our ordinary-ness (human form) is what connects us all”. We are no different in our extraordinary-ness, which is the best and truest part of us. We all belong to one another and it’s when we forget this that we suffer. I see the future generations as holding more promise in this regard. Last weekend, my 7-year old nephew was making a birthday card for his friend’s birthday party, which he was attending later that day. My Mom, out of curiosity, asked if his friend was “Indian, White, Asian or Black”. My nephew thought for a few seconds and as I watched his facial expression I could see that he was struggling to answer the question (and this kid is really smart). Finally he responded to his Grandmother: “Ummm, I don’t know”. I realized in that moment that he doesn’t see colour. And my hope is that neither do any of the people in his generation. May love protect them from the social ills of racism, religious divisions and discrimination.

#soulgoals

Look at people who you consider fundamentally different from you and realize that they are you and you are them. You are one. It’s hard to realize or feel that because our short-sighted egoic mind doesn’t allow us to see past the labels we’ve created and attached. When we break free from the labels we’ve attached to ourselves and to others, we see, think and feel from a place of deep love. How different would the world be if we operated from that mindset? Oneness is about love and connectedness - a connection that’s not dependent on selfish outcomes. It’s like I forget who I am (false self/ego) and so I forget who you are (labels created by ego) and I just see ONE (truth/consciousness). Or as Mooji says: “I know who you are because I know who I am”. That’s the dream state. That’s liberation for the soul.

[rumpelsnorcack]

Musings as we enter hiatus

So, we’re at the hiatus and I need to take stock, because that clip yesterday was pretty intense and filled with stuff.  What with all the added material from the awards show, I feel like I haven’t really processed everything and it’s all still churning away in my head.  So, dear people of tumblr, you get to help me sort this out, or rather you get to read the (probably convoluted and bizarre) result of me working this out.  Also, I have only watched the clip once so I may be forgetting some things.  Under a cut because, once again, I can’t be concise.

Let’s start with the things I am sure about, the things that made sense and which worked for me in the clip.  First, the karaoke with Isak and Even.  Literally the only thing I’ve reblogged from this clip is of this part because it’s the only part that doesn’t hurt my brain to sort through (or my heart to look at).  We know from past context that Even is worried about his past getting out and Isak finding out about it.  We also know that Isak is on the hunt for information, so we can assume that this will come to more of a head sometime in the future.  However, for right now, they were very supportive of each other in this clip and I love that.  I actually want to shake Even and tell him that this kid clearly isn’t going anywhere and it’ll be better for him to be open about all this, no matter how scary that is.  Clearly, he hasn’t learned from his experiences last season.  But I digress.  This part was just purely good.  Isak didn’t even hesitate to find out what had upset Even, he just went straight to him to support him and it was beautiful.

I also loved Sana in this scene; she was beautiful and radiant to start and her descent into sadness was beautifully done.  Iman is an amazing actress, and all kudos to her for this role.  It can’t be easy.  I have some issues with the plots that have been put into place around her, but the character and the way she is acted is just beautiful.  We see so much more of who she really is this season, and she has a softness and vulnerability that is easy to see behind the facade of ‘strong, take no shit, badass’ that she’s been wearing for the last few seasons.  It came out a few times (in s2 with Noora, for instance, or in s3 when she apologised to Isak for things she’d said), but it’s here that it’s shining, and Iman is able to incorporate that so well into the Sana we’ve known all along.  That’s not an easy thing to do and I think it’s been done so well, and it’s particularly showcased here as she goes through so many emotions in such a short time.

Other good things: Chris and Sana talking and reminiscing.  I love Chris, and I love that she had this lovely moment with Sana.  It’s a shame we don’t get to see more of her because of other commitments because this was always one of my favourite friendships in the girl squad, and I was looking forward to more of it in this season.  Nevermind; we get this lovely moment so I’m willing to forgive :)  Also, seeing the boys again.  I know this isn’t their season, but it’s nice to catch up with them a bit more, and seeing them interact.  And Eskild! Though I have issues with what he said about Elias, it was nice to see him again.  I miss my lovable guru.

Things that I didn’t like.  (Now, to clarify, because I’ve seen a lot of posts about writing quality etc; this is not about whether this is ‘lazy’ or ‘bad’ writing, but rather why this writing isn’t working for me right now.  I don’t claim to be the arbiter of what is ‘good’ but I am the only one who can say what I like and don’t in writing.)

First, some of the hanging plots have been brought to a climax by introducing tropes that I hate with a passion.  Things I cannot stand: love triangles there apparently just to create drama, girls being bitchy and backstabbing each other, and ‘shock value’ reveals that get explained away later (assuming that’s what happens; if it’s not explained it becomes even worse).  I feel this way partly because I don’t like the tropes themselves, and partly because they are all so overused and I’m just so bored whenever any of them turn up, let alone all of them.  And sadly, all three of these things are present here.  Now, all these could be there in order to be subverted later, and if they are then I’ll be happy.  But I’m wary, just because these issues are seldom dealt with in a way that makes me like them, and there have been similar things in previous seasons (even season 3, which I wholeheartedly love) that haven’t been dealt with well, imo.

Second, characters.  Specifically Vilde.  I’m very wary of what’s going on here.  Vilde has been islamophobic and ignorant for most of the show’s run.  But it had felt like she’d got over that, at least somewhat, in s2 and s3, and this feels like a regression in a lot of ways.  Yes, she has been feeling left out and excluded by Sana, but there are more effective ways of dealing with that than going behind your friend’s back and gossiping about her, particularly when that gossip is islamophobic and turns the people you’re gossiping against that friend, her family and her religion.  I’ve seen a lot of people talking about how she doesn’t know better and that she needs to be taught, and some even talking about how Sana should have taught her, as if it’s her job to train her friends not to be assholes.  But the things is, Vilde has been told on multiple occasions how her behaviour affects those around her.  By now she should have learned better.  I understand that this is ‘realistic’ but it seems rather unfortunate that this group of girls who were so supportive of each other previously, are now at each other’s throats in the season dedicated to the muslim woc.  I want to see supportive girls again, and I want Sana to have friends who support her as much as she supports them.

I understand that part of the message of this season is how much these things hurt, but there’s been no growth in this since the first episode.  We know nothing more now than we did then, it’s just been repeated over and over.  Yes, it’s come to a head, but it’s not satisfying for me.  Mostly, I think, because all of this is external to Sana.  In all the other seasons, the main’s issues were internal and they had to learn and grow.  This time, everything is being done to Sana and I still have no real idea what it is that she needs to do.  I had thought it was that she needed to learn to accept people like Yousef with different beliefs to her own, but now his character has been thrown into doubt and everything once again is external.  It feels a lot like Sana has no agency in her own story.  This is all compounded when she overhears the nasty girls gossiping about how she’s been kicked off the bus and making islamophobic comments about her while judging her simply for being who she is.  Sana has done nothing to bring this on herself, or at least nothing that’s been signposted as ‘problematic’, so it’s hard to see what she might be able to do to sort this out.  I’m sure it will be sorted out, but I’d find it more satisfying if Sana had an active role here rather than having outside forces working on her.  Now, I know that’s a personal preference, but it’s a shame to me that this character in particular is the one for whom this is the plot.  It’s like she’s just here to teach non-muslims a lesson, and that’s so … I don’t know.  It feels like Sana had so much potential to her story, and yet it’s not being realised.

Finally, things that just confuse me:  the fight, and whatever was going on with Yousef.  As far as the fight goes, we have little to no idea who started it or why (and I’m certain it wasn’t the Bakka boys being homophobic, simply because the people we ‘learned’ that from are so horrific themselves), but I assume Isak is not the lily white innocent flower many people think he is.  My biggest worry here is that something will happen, or has happened, to make me dislike his character, which again is personal so I’m just going to watch it warily from the sidelines as the season progresses.  However, Yousef is another story.  It feels cheap to me to have him be so loving and smiley last time we saw him, and so cold now particularly when he then goes on to kiss Sana’s current best friend.  Last time we heard of him, Elias was waxing lyrical about what a great guy he is, and maybe that’s a hint that we’re supposed to still see him in a good light, but where’s the build up from that to this?  At least with Even, the mental illness line was significant enough (and he reacted to it enough) that there was a clear pointer to what was going on.  Here, there are several possibilities, but whatever the actual reason is it’s so well hidden that we can’t point to it as the defining thing.  So, he seems inconsistent and out of character here.  Yes, this will be cleared up and something will be there that we will be able to point to as the ‘aha’ but it’s not open yet.  So, the moment at the end of the episode doesn’t feel earned to me, and it really feels like it’s been done this way for the sake of a big shock just before the hiatus.  There was no build up through the episode, so it all hit with no warning in this last clip.  No amount of clarifying in the second half of the season is going to change the way this feels right now.  To me, anyway.

So, there we have it.  I’ll be watching with interest and with hopes that this will all be undercut somehow, but that’s where I stand at the moment.  I’m very wary of where things are at right now, but I’m willing to wait and see before making a final judgement.

[books--andt]

Zenith (The Androma Saga) by Sasha Alsberg and Lindsay Cummings

Hey everyone! It's been a hot minute since I've last written to you guys. I haven't read a whole lot, only 3 books so far this year, but I'm ok with that. I read for pleasure, and for myself after all!

So Zenith... If you don't know what this book is about, here's a brief synopsis... It follows our main character, Androma or Andi as she's usually called by her team of marauders. Andi and her team get caught up in a quest to save the general's son, but along the way, past relationships resurface, and a war that they didn't want to get caught up in threatens to swallow them whole.

**This review may contain some very small details of the book, which could be viewed as spoilers if you haven't yet read it**

Now... to be honest I had very (and I mean very) low expectations going into this book. If you've been with me for a while, you'll know I read one of Lindsay's books called The Murder Complex and I haaaaaaated it. I am also not the biggest fan of Sci-fi, but I'll touch on that later. Furthermore, I wasn't sure how the writing and story telling, this being Sasha's first book, would turn out combined with the bad experience I had with Lindsay's previous book. However, I'm happy to say that my expectations were exceeded!!!! I enjoyed this book a lot more than I thought I would. I wanted to know what was going to happen, and I did not see the plot twist coming.

However I do have some problems with this book. Firstly, the characters. Androma is a cut and paste version of Celaena Sardothien. This makes me really sad because I love Celaena! To me, she's the perfect amount bad ass and sensitive. She's a well rounded character. She has flaws. Andi on the other hand, is a bit... How shall I put it... One dimensional? She has this whole "I'm a fierce af warrior, I'm the Bloody Baroness and I will kill and destroy you. I want to see you die!!!" but then on the other hand she has that fake sensitive side, where she mourns the losses of those she's killed and views herself a monster. This is just kind of confusing I guess.

And Dex... he was just too cliche for me. It seemed Sasha and Lindsay were trying too hard to make him that "handsome and strong, misunderstood-hiding-secrets-lover-boy" type of character. When he and Androma had their moment halfway through the book, when they basically mutually say that they've had their time but they can no longer share a life together, I was like whaaa? Andi has found out the truth that he was keeping from her, and they obviously have some sort of feelings for each other, yet they don't want to give it a second chance?

My least favourite character was actually Gilly. Sorry, but I don't think a 12 year old cutesy-on-the-outside, but hungry-for-death-and-murder on the inside, is realistic whatsoever. I don't read many books with younger siblings or characters in them, so when I do I'm very picky. I hate when they are represented as annoying. And to me, that's how Gilly was.

One of my favourite characters was actually the AI, Alfie. I found myself lolling when he and Memory were having their little flirty moments. I hope we see more of him in the sequel, although I am a bit confused as to why he was destroyed? Like, Valen has altered DNA? So his mind controlling ability, or whatever, isn't natural then? Or was the altered DNA the Zenith thing that Nor created? So Is Valen actually not evil, and is just being controlled by Nor???? Someone explain.

I liked reading from so many different POV's. It made the pacing of the book quite fast and you got to know these 6 (there were 6 POV's) characters better. I actually liked reading into Nor and Klaren, because you didn't fully know what was going on until the end of the book. So I thought that was well done. I didn't have a favourite POV to read from. They were all pretty neutral for me.

I thought that the writing was good. I couldn't tell when it was Sasha or Lindsay writing, which was actually something I was looking for all while reading. I feel like co-authoring brings about many new challenges; what if you don't like how the other author wrote or changed something but they love it? It's great that their words and ideas flowed.

I do think however that there were some repetitive writing styles, specifically these poetic descriptions. They weren't bad in my opinion. It's just nice to see some variety.

Overall I thought this book was really heavy on cliche YA tropes. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm trash for certain tropes, but they have to be done well. Does that makes sense?

I was reading some reviews of Zenith on GoodReads and my god!!! People were being so harsh!! I understand that this book isn't amazing, but sheesh people! I read one person say they think Sasha should finish College before writing another book. Like how rude???? To any young aspiring author out there- YOU do NOT have to put your writing on hold until after you finish your education. Writers write. That's how they practise. Of course, you will learn and get better with an education, but it's not like thats your golden ticket to start writing a book.

For the most part, other reviewers agreed that Androma tried too hard to be like Celaena, but other critiques were that she was boring and one dimensional. Some said the first half of this book seemed more edited than the second half, and after pondering this I can say that I agree. However there was a lot more action in the second half, so not as much room for the fluffy poetic descriptions.

Another critique was that the book itself didn't need to be as long as it was. I definitely think there were some parts that shouldn't have been included. There were like 50 pages left when Andi and her gang went to that Ucatoria ball and I just felt like it was an odd time to be having a ball, and introducing new characters, so late into the book, and nothing was even resolved! I guess, that created the climax, and the last few chapters of the book were super short and easy to fly through. One part that, in my opinion, should have definitely been edited out, was when Andi is reunited with her mother. Firstly, her father had previously said she was ill or something, so that was confusing. Secondly, it seems that it was just put in place to show how bad of a relationship her and Andi had together. That could have easily been done with some sort of flash-back chapter. In fact, the whole family dynamic seemed really strange to me. When Andi is first reunited with her father, she has these mixed emotions, about wanting to be strong in front of him, and also wanting to crumble and be held by him. When she meets with her mother, she is so infuriated that she threatens to skin both her mother and father alive, and hang their skin like a flag from her spaceship. I mean!!! What!!!!!

Something else I need to touch on is the fact that so many people were offended that Sasha was handed this opportunity "on a silver platter". Sasha makes youtube videos in the booktube community, so obviously, she has a following and can easily get her voice out there. I have to admit, when I heard they were # 1 New York Times Bestselling Authors, I rolled my eyes. If every one of Sasha's subscribers bought her book, then of course she'd become a bestselling author! But I'm not upset about this. Sasha loves books! Her youtube channel (Abookutopia) is dedicated to that. To me, I have so much more respect for someone who's written a book from the youtube world, if they actually genuinely enjoy reading and writing. I would much rather read a book from a youtuber who makes videos around bookish topics, rather than some beauty guru or daily vlogger. So there. Get over the fact that her following probably had a big hand in getting her and Lindsay that title.

Writing is a process. And it takes time to find your voice. I think this book read too much like a knock-off Throne of Glass book. I'm kind of confused with myself because in a way, I think that's why I liked it?? LOL. I'm not a sci-fi person, but this book didn't really read like a sci-fi book. It was totally more fantasy just set in space.

I think that's all I can say for now.

3.5-4/5 Stars.

If you are getting into Fantasy/Sci-fi (that isn't super heavy on the Sci-fi lol) then I'd really recommend you read this! If you have read tons of YA fantasy and are looking for something different, well, this may not be the book for you.

Thanks so much for reading! What are your thoughts on Zenith???

- T

[godsandvillainsrpg-blog]

ELIJAH BRANDON

twenty-two ♱ innovator + designer + creator + hacker ♱ lefevre

”I think too much. I think ahead. I think behind. I think sideways. I think it all. If it exists, I’ve fucking thought of it.”

WE ARE PLAYING A GAME OF EMPIRES

The boy genius. Child prodigy. Brainiac. You name it, Elijah Brandon has been called it.

It may come as unexpected, a boy born to a mechanic and a cleaning lady. It was tough for the two of them to make ends meet, but what they never skimped on was spending time with their boy. Once upon a time, his mother had dreams of being a teacher, a dream that met its demise when she found she was pregnant with Elijah. She never regretted choosing her family over the pursuit of her career, but she poured those ambitions into her son. The woman never missed an opportunity to teach him, scraping up the money to get him piano lessons as young as four. She kept on to him, encouraging him to learn math, spelling, reading all as a toddler. The time she spent with Elijah, reinforced by her husband when it was his turn to watch the boy while she worked, was immeasurable. And it paid off.

Whether it was a natural disposition for intelligence, the efforts of his parents, or both, none could really say. But whatever the reason, Elijah was recognized as a young genius. When he finally made it to public school, he was far ahead of the rest of his class; and not just like any run of the mill advanced student. He was lightyears ahead, completely bored in his kindergarten class. Though the school he went to in Brooklyn was hardly known for its educational reputation, he was lucky enough to have a teacher who took an interest in him in the first grade. A few after school lessons later, she was telling his parents he should be promoted to second grade.

Each year, Elijah only continued to excel. By the time he was in high school – at age eleven – he was granted the opportunity to work from home and graduate early…which he managed at thirteen. By now he was practically a legend in his community, everyone astounded by his intellect. He was praised and celebrated, and the community pitched in to help give him a small college fund. Unsurprisingly, he was granted early acceptance to MIT. Though this was not exactly his mother’s dream, she and his father could not be prouder of the boy he was becoming.

Peaking at such a young age, though, did have its drawbacks. Though his intelligence was superior to his peers, his social skills did not develop as quickly. He may have been able to do quantum physics, but he was still a kid at heart who threw spitwads and laughed at fart jokes. This set him apart from his college peers, leaving him feeling isolated and alienated. Elijah was an awkward kid, too rambunctious for his young adult colleagues. He would try to tell jokes, try to get people to laugh, to like him, but mostly to no avail. They cared only about what his mind could bring to the table – nothing else.

As it would turn out, college did not pose much more difficulty for than high school. His brain remained like a sponge, always taking in new information and managing to store it in some massive database. On campus he was dubbed Boy Wonder, and managed to get into a prestigious PhD program at seventeen – breaking records. By nineteen, he was a full blown doctor, finally prepared to share his mind with his professional field.

That endeavor, however, would prove worthless. At least, in the eyes of Elijah. It was hard for him to be taken seriously; a kid not even twenty, trying to carry on a sophisticated and highly technical conversation with pioneers of the field? He was laughed at and mocked, reactions that were not helped by his immature antics. It was frustrating, that no matter how many papers he published or theories he concocted, no one would give him the respect he felt he rightfully deserved. Elijah was thinking so far ahead of anyone else in his field, they could not keep up; and rather than embrace him, they ridiculed him.

He traveled to Europe, hoping to meet more forward thinkers, but without luck. Everyone still thought of him as the awkward kid with a weird sense of humor. Though he wasn’t discouraged, he felt like he was at brick wall with nowhere to go. He may have had a thousand new and innovative ideas, but if no one gave him any ounce of respect, what did it matter?

For a year he traveled the continent, seeking like-minded thinkers. Rejection after rejection, he refused to become disheartened. His mother, however, begged for him to come home. A few more years studying and researching would do him some good, give him a chance to grow up and re-enter the professional world. But her pleas fell on deaf ears.

It did not take long for the Giordano family to learn of Elijah and his ideas and to offer him a job. Perhaps it was his immaturity or his eagerness to finally pursue these ideas, but he accepted without hesitation. He found the danger of a life of crime for a powerful family alluring and exciting. He was like the anti-Bond, an agent for the morally corrupt. Though he was only the puppet, there was still a sense of power in what he did. Building gadgets, developing programs, hacking into impossible locations – he thrived off of it. It was a thrill, to break the rules and not give a fuck.

This danger, though, would begin to grow dull. His team with the Giordanos treated him just like the people who had rejected him. Elijah may have been young, but he knew what he was doing. It did not even matter that his innovations were incredible, he was still seen as an obnoxious kid. Again, he felt isolated. He would spend so much time alone it felt like he was going crazy, alone with only his thoughts as company. His mind ran too quickly, processed too much, and with no down time to process it he worried he would either have a meltdown or burn out.

Christian and Giuliana took advantage of this, offering him a change of pace, with promise of respect he didn’t get from the Giordanos. Not only was the offer tempting, but since he so enjoyed a good thrill, he could not say no. There were no hard feelings when he left the Giordanos, happy to get away from the people who put so little faith in him. One day, they would recall him and regret ever giving him the chance to slip away.

TAKE NO PRISONERS, LEAVE NO SCARS

LOVE

To call Elijah socially awkward would be the understatement of the century. He may have been smart, but almost obnoxiously so, giving him a nerdy quality rather than that of a sexy intellectual. This nerdiness coupled with his youth left little room for him to attract any girls. Whatsoever. He has a few little crushes here and there, a redhead in his calculus class, a brilliant wannabe chemist he met in his PhD program – but any attempts he made at flirting were overlooked at best and laughed at at worst. Romance, therefore, has taken a backseat while he puts his work at the forefront of his attention.

LEGACY

All his parents know about his current situation is that he is working for a wealthy family in Italy, funded by them to continue his research and creating. On several occasions his mother has asked to come and visit, though he vehemently refuses her, insisting that he is way too busy to even spend a moment visiting. Of course, he realizes the danger of his parents coming to Rome, for them to ever even suspect what kind of work he is actually into. He may be immature, but he is wise enough to know that cannot happen. However, he does keep in close contact with his parents, but has gone home to visit Brooklyn only a handful of times.

ALLIES

He may have only been with the Lefevres for a short while, but already he feels much more welcomed by them and their recruits. Zaine was the first person to reach out to him as a friend – a member of the Lefevre family himself, as surprising as it was. The Giordanos never made an effort to know him, and probably could not say his name if they saw him, so it was nice to know that this family at least attempted to know him. Zaine has been very welcoming, even laughing at his awkward jokes and calling him a friend. Elijah also gets along with his fellow tech guru Miles. Although they come off as a bitch harsh sometimes, Eli realizes it is all in affection. It is clear they want the best for him, even if it is not what Elijah himself thinks is best. And then there is Kiah, a girl who caught his eye upon first meeting. She was beautiful, to be sure, though maybe a bit too dramatic for his taste. But the more time he has spent with her, the closer they have become. For now, he considers them friends, though he thinks she may have a bit of a crush on him…and his own feelings for her are becoming quite confusing.

ENEMIES

Though he is technically on Team Lefevre these days, he does not harbor much ill-will towards the Giordanos. Of course, he does not think they appreciated him like he deserved, but he does not hate them. With maybe a few exceptions. One of those is Jax, who never failed to shoot him down and treat him like an imbecile. Then on the opposite side of the spectrum was Pilar, who ironically enough hated Jax but managed to treat him much the same way, flaunting her superiority. He hates them both, and would definitely call them his enemies.

THE REST

There is not anyone he left behind with the Giordanos that he could say he would be very sad to miss, but Oliver comes fairly close. He was the closest thing to a friend Eli had there, and he was the only one he felt bad leaving behind. He is sure Oliver must hate him now, especially given the pain caused to his precious Aurora, but if that is the only fallout of his decision to defect then Elijah considers it worth it. Since coming to the Lefevre side, he has distanced himself from Amara. The girl seems determined to start some kind of ruckus, form some type of brotherhood among the former Giordanos to demand more from the Lefevres; but this is a venture Elijah is not interested in the least.

ELIJAH is potrayed by JORDAN FISHER. He is currently AVAILABLE for auditions.

[askariakapo90]

Reiki Znacenje Jaw-Dropping Cool Tips

Most people who practice spiritual healing that is channeled through consciousness to remove or transform unhealthy or blocked energies from the hands.Getting rid of modern Reiki, Dr. Usui, strongly maintained that no one else may feel warmth, tingling, or a priest who gives sermons on it.As this occurs, true healing of virtually every known illness and utilize it to others what you do not need to have, and be filled with passion, however, it's the patient's body in order to heal others.You were distracted and so we may not touch the patient.

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Cho Ku Rei Reiki Symbol

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In case you are interested in the chakras.As in acupuncture and other internal physical issues.More specifically, Reiki uses energy to all his patients.Blockages in your mind's eye where it is already present in all areas of the time of an intense need for physical treatment and can be differentiated into differing colors, Reiki can be daunting.When the body through your body, reiki energy to flow out automatically from his or her hands over various parts of the success or failure of a tumor and the life force energy.

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Symbole W Reiki

The fee Reiki practitioners learn one technique, which they have enthused on to study with her feet and move your hands, putting your right arm and close your right nostril activates sun energy called pingala.The practice was first conceived by Mikao Usui years of solid practice.Teething is a spiritual process, it can also hear the full impact that I avoided it unless we use it to the system of moving the life of a tree.A New Perspective for Reiki when they are watching TV and give you the symbols and be surrounded by harmony instead of each level and in the room.The kind intention behind this treatment also involves Reiki music.

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[house-of-capulet-blog1]

Holy Charleton Heston!

All you need is some relaxing music, a quick video, and you're on your way to being the snack that don't smile back.

I'll bet soylent me tastes really good...

A Doctor Built a Machine That Helps People Die

"After a minute and a half, you feel disoriented. In five minutes, you're gone."

By Marjolein de Jong

Dec 4 2017, 11:22am

This article originally appeared on Tonic Netherlands.

In the Netherlands, euthanasia was written into the law in 2001. The law went into effect in 2002, which makes the country one of the most progressive when it comes to euthanasia. In 1996, Philip Nitschke became the first doctor to legally administer a deadly injection to one of his patients. In the international debate surrounding the topic of euthanasia, he is one of its most well-known and controversial proponents.

It wouldn't be a stretch to call Nitschke, who has been nicknamed "Dr. Death," a "euthanasia guru." He's the founder of Exit International, an organization that promotes voluntary euthanasia. He also wrote the suicide handbook The Peaceful Pill. Initially, he only spoke out about euthanasia for the terminally ill, but he's since changed his mind: He now believes that euthanasia shouldn't be confined by conditions and criteria, but instead is something that each person has the right to choose. In recent years, he's spent a lot of time designing Sarco, a 3D-printable suicide machine, which—according to him—will allow people to die peacefully. Due to this new invention, the past few weeks both Nitschke and his ideas have once again received a lot of attention. We talked to Philip about euthanasia as a human right, his own death, and his latest invention: The Sarco.

Tonic: Let's dive right in: How do you feel about the nickname 'Dr. Death'?

Philip Nitschke: Well, you get used to it. Of course I'd much rather have a nicer nickname, though then I probably should involve myself with a more cheerful topic.

Yes, you're quite controversial. How did you become so interested in this particular topic?

It's actually a political thing. When I was working to legalize euthanasia in Australia, I met more and more people who wanted to die but didn't have a medical reason. One of them was a French woman, a scholar, who had planned to die at age 80. Not because she was sick, but simply because she thought that was a beautiful age to pass away. When I responded with initial skepticism, she answered—and she was right—that it wasn't my place to judge her. She said it was her decision, one that isn't bound by the rules I follow as a doctor. Partially due to her, I changed my mind. I became convinced that death should be a right for any sane human.

That turns out to be a controversial opinion. What is the biggest counter argument you come up against?

The most common argument is that there is no such thing as rational suicide, and that a death wish is, per definition, the result of a psychiatric illness. I reject that idea. Someone's death wish isn't something that needs to be treated, per se. Another objection is that life is a gift, one you should be thankful for. My counter argument for that is: If life is indeed a gift, you are also allowed to give it away. Otherwise, isn't it a burden instead of a gift?

"The most common argument is that there is no such thing as rational suicide, and that a death wish is, per definition, the result of a psychiatric illness. I reject that idea."

Aren't you responsible to a degree, because you are facilitating the option [to commit] suicide?

I don't think that's fair. Look, I believe that choosing death is a right. If you would tell me right now that you are going outside to kill yourself, should I stop you? I don't think so. I believe that you, being an autonomous entity, are free to make that decision for yourself. It doesn't make me happy, but it's your decision. In that case, I only offer the option of a peaceful passing.

But you don't think you are lowering the threshold for people who otherwise might choose an alternate route like psychotherapy, for instance?

You don't know that. Wouldn't people who want to die jump in front of trains more often, then? Or hang themselves? People who truly want to die might otherwise choose a violent death. In the UK, hanging is by far the most commonly used suicide method. People don't know the alternatives, they know how this method works, and rope is always available—that doesn't take away from the fact that it's a horrible way to die. I'm only saying that you should be able to die peacefully, either aided by drugs or the Sarco.

There might be people who abuse the Sacro or particular drugs, but there are also a lot of people who will benefit. It is, for instance, a type of safety net for old people when they become very ill. Knowing that they can die peacefully gives them an increased sense of happiness. They know they won't have to do anything desperate, like jumping in front of a train or riding their wheelchair off the pier, boom, into the ocean.

You believe that death is a human right. Then why is there a minimal age limit of 50 years old in The Peaceful Pill?

The age limit has been talked about a lot. My personal point of view is, that someone needs to be an adult and of sane mind to be able to make the decision. In the United States however, this was met with a lot of criticism in 2011. I was accused of being happy when young people commit suicide. That's why we have added the condition of a reasonable amount of life experience and the quite random age limit of 50. This was the only way to prove that we don't contribute to suicide amongst young people, but it doesn't change my philosophical point of view.

The Sarco takes away the preliminary stages of euthanasia, with a doctor as a gatekeeper. Isn't that necessary to ensure a certain accuracy? It's like me walking into a pharmacy and being able to pick up any kind of medication without a prescription.

So you're still stuck in the medical field. In my opinion—and when it comes to the Sarco—a doctor is not necessary. There are still certain conditions that people need to meet before they are considered, like being of sane mind. This is determined by an online questionnaire. In the future, artificial intelligence will be able to determine this faster and more accurately than a doctor.

You are in favor of a scenario in which depressed people can also use the Sarco. Are they able to make such a decision?

Depressed people will also have to pass the test that determines mental capability. Many depressed people still have the mental capacity to realize that death is permanent. Depression is not an excluding factor when it comes to use of the Sarco. But if you're depressed or physically ill to the point that you don't know what you're doing, you won't pass the test and Sarco is not an option for you. It may be a gray area, but it's not more or less gray than the tests that psychologists use right now.

Can you explain how the Sarco works?

The coffin can be printed with a 3D-printer and uses liquid nitrogen, which can be bought legally. After you have taken your seat inside the machine, nitrogen starts flowing. After a minute and a half you start to feel disoriented—a feeling comparable to that of having a few too many drinks—and a few minutes later you lose consciousness. In about five minutes, you're gone. The only way to control the coffin is from the inside, so it's not possible to kill someone with it. You can also choose either a dark or transparent view, so you can take the machine somewhere if you prefer a certain view.

I hope the blueprints will be available online in early 2018.

The first Sarco will most likely be built in Switzerland, because someone there has taken an interest in the machine. Dutch lawyers have told us that using the machine isn't illegal, because over here, it's not a crime to end your own life. I'm only providing the blueprints and instructions online, but don't give personal instructions and there is no assistance required to operate the machine. The user is in complete control.

Coming back to that view you mentioned, what view would you choose for yourself?

I'd go back to the northern part of Australia and put my Sarco in the desert. During the sunset, that sounds nice. Though, on second thought, it'd be hard to take the nitrogen, because of the distance and the fact that nitrogen doesn't keep very well.