#ill make a better one next time prommy
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kirumarythechair · 1 month ago
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auuagshgsusggghshvhghhhgjjjjjj throws up and dies
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I was gonna post yesterday but I fell asleep uejdhjdh
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phagodyke · 8 months ago
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woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better
#only slept 4 hrs yesterday so was rly hoping to get a solid nights sleep today bc i probably won't tonight....#but i didnt sigh. but my options are either to plough thru w today and make myself do this even tho i dont rly feel like it#or cancel plans and stay in and mope which will inevitably turn into self harm so rly the latter is a non option lmao#its all okay ill get into the swing of things n have a good time once im thereee#and i always knew i was gonna feel a bit like this like its an open wound for me i just need to be careful not to touch it#bc how i feel isnt based in reality its just insecurity n vulnerability n ik it can take months to fully recover from a previous episode#and part of the recovery process needs to involve facing potentially triggering situations instead of avoiding them#bc otherwise ill get increasingly worse bc its not possible to always avoid and ill be defenceless again when it does happen again etc#like its part of rebuilding my sense of self n confidence n hopefully i can eventually start to trust other ppl again n lower my guard#bc it sucks being contorted into this defensive pose all the time and i would like to allow myself to feel genuine connection w others !!#and to stop instinctively flinching and waiting for the hit im tired of my mind telling me ppl r lying + trying to hurt me when theyre not#im being a bit dramatic like i am doing a LOT better than i was a few weeks ago. n i def can handle this one#and the risk of triggering myself is much much lower anyway in this specific situation. so long as theyre not hiding shit from me again#i can think of several ways that risk could skyrocket n unexpectedly spiral out of my control n it makes it hard to breathe just imagining#but i need to believe that it wont. so if-no WHEN it doesnt then next time ill have proof that i can navigate it n i wont feel so anxious#it makes me laugh how stupid this is from an outside perspective. my brain causes me so much weird n 100% unnecessary distress#but its the only brain ive got n will always have so i need to work with it!!#anyway all that aside i genuinely am rly looking forward to this afternoon!! ive rly wanted to start doing more nice things for myself#n the fact it coincides w missing smth that could incite my rsd is kind of for the best even if it is making me anxious#i cant let my life revolve around anticipating how ppl might upset me n basing my decisions off minimising that damage#n while it would be nice to have company.. well ik its just as fun going alone bc ive done it before! n i need a reminder of that#ah im gonna turn myself in circles if i think much more. i dont need to justify anything#i hope they have a nice time and i hope i have a nice time and i hope that eventually someday we can have a nice time together instead#of separately. and i hope that someday ill feel included and wanted by other ppl and wont be posting on tumblr every time this happens LOL#this comes across like im saying i need to learn how to enjoy my own company or whatever but i prommy i already do..#what i actually need to learn is how to trust n enjoy the company of ppl i care abt without constantly being scared theyll hurt me....#but thats not happening today cuz i got other plans woooo OKAYY im gonna stop ruminating and get some chores done sjdkfh#.vent#<- well not rly a vent bc its not like im channelling feelings here im just rambling bc i have a lot on my mind. but still#this is prolly incoherent i keep putting my phone down and doing other things and then adding another thought LOL
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fatuismooches · 1 year ago
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you know, im a very gay guy who has literal no interest in women, and have a very special interest with dottore (im married to him)
but you know, i think arlecchino is so. you know. i dont know. there's just something about her that makes me wanna get on one knee and do everything she says like how i usually am to dottore.
i want her to card her fingers through my hair and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. i want her to hold me in your arms, even carry me in them because she's a very strong woman n carrying the love of her life is absolutely no burden to her. i want her to reassure me through tough times, and though her face remains expressionless, i know she deeply care with how close she holds me, letting herself be vulnerable to you, kissing you, loving you.
anyways thats all before dottore comes for my ass for cheating behind his back!!!! prommy will bring dottore next time theehee!!! just hope i dont get sad or ill hit u with another angst LMAOOOO GDUIEeEWIQUE
OMGGG KAI 😭😭 ARLECCHINO REALLY IS THAT GIRL. Go ahead and get down on one knee for her. Trust me she will find your loyalty and dedication very endearing.
She's so the kind of woman to absent-mindedly run her fingers through your hair while she's busy!! And then when you start getting restless and bored she starts whispering sweet nothings and promises to tide you over, and how can you not listen to her?? How can you resist Arlecchino when she's being so sincere and sweet? :( YUP YUP Arlie could pick you up like a FEATHER there's no doubt that she's extremely strong. She's the kind of woman to pick you up bridal style with ease every time! When she finds that you overwork yourself, she's lifting you to bed herself. Ah, but this also applies to getting out of bed. She will pick you up and carry you to the bathroom if she has to 😅 All with that same '😐' expression on her face.
And ouhhh,, her reassuring you. Why did that make my heart squeeze a lil bit. Yeah, comforting you isn't her strong suit at all but damn it, she's going to try. Sure, her expression is the same and does not betray her internal emotions, and maybe she can't provide honeyed words like other lovers could, but that doesn't mean she doesn't care! Arlie would let you cry or rant or whatever you wanted to let out into her shoulder and chest, all while stroking your hair and listening with an attentive ear. She would kiss your tears and wipe them away tenderly <3 And since she canonically likes tea and sweets!! I think she would so arrange a tea party for the two of you to make you feel better :(
HAHAHA CHEATING ON DOTTORE PLS 😭 All I can say is. If you ever have more Arlie thoughts you know who to talk to (me) And I will look forward to your Dottore stuff !! I love them dearly!! BUT I DONT WANT YOU TO BE SAD OKAY take care of yourself <33 *hug*
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machineryangel · 3 years ago
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💕💞🍓❤️💘💕❤️‍🩹💗💓🌹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥💗❣️💖🌸🌷🌹💐🌾⭐️🌺🥀
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important conversations 🍓🍓
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dragonji · 3 years ago
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these past 3 weeks have really just been me watching every single activity that makes up my life fall apart and like. not even being able to work up the energy to fight it bc it might as well just all go wrong huh. :|
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mildcicada · 4 years ago
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sp,,, spare kamukoma? 🥺🤲
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Thank you for the request :-]] here they are !! Them!!
#my art#danganronpa#nagito komaeda#izuru kamukura#servant nagito#dr#I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG 😔🙏 i dont even know why it took so long to finish?? i did have a lot of trouble getting the initial sketch#done at first but dbdjdjdjdj. it seemed that every time i thought the drawing was done i forgot one other detail i needed to fix#also i debated on what the background should be for so long before deciding to just. give up on that and do this djdjd#next time i draw something with them ill make it more... rsomance-y lol#listened to my kamukoma playlist while making this lol#i really love love their dynamic#also?? is the whole servant and izuru during the tradgedy thing being together like?? a thing somewhere?? or was it just fabricated by the#fandom. i dont remember djddj#their color palettes are all SO DARK. especially kamukura 😔 his suit +hair +shoes are all like 2 shades apart from eachother. i love bright#colors sm so id usually do that...rainbow-y effect on black clothes i used to do sometimes but i dont think it fits kamukura sadly 😔 hes#gotta stay looking edgy with his red + black color palette#whenever i draw servant's chain the way chains actually look it looks so strange. which is why i always draw them like...that monstrosity#it looks better than what a chaina ctually looks like when i draw it i prommy 😔#dont look at kamukura's hand 😔 i know okay#i was gonna add some song lyric as the caption but thought not to lol sjsjsjd it felt too edgy#''do you like to hurt? then hurt me'' plssss#im posting this right before i go to bed#ill just reblog it tomorrow dmdjdjd
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mildcicada · 4 years ago
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Nyagato komeowda......
#my art#danganronpa#nagito komaeda#i prommy ill actually draw something good next time 😔🙏🙏🙏#i couldnt decide which cat breed to make him so i just drew all 3 i couldnt decide between lol though now that i look at it. the angora is#clearly the best choice in terms of looking like him dundjd. the top left is an oriental bc they can be haughty and kinda like? better than#you one minute and the opposite the next + very inquisitive and curious + extremely social#loyal loving + easily hurt if ignored + DESPERATELY need attention+ bond with one person and become extremely devoted and dependent on them#angoras (bottom right) are very intellegent and devoted+bond with their ieners completely+like conversation a lot#highly intelligent problem solvers that like to be in control of their surroundings + VERY determined. once they get something in their hea#they WILL be doing it and theres no stopping them. which felt like komaeeda for some reason to me lol. drawing this made me realize how?#weird his personality is. i have a hard time describing it exactly#ragdolls (top right) are my favorite cat lol. so since it got to one of the last few choices to draw komaeda i decided to draw him as one#mostly for me... jdndjd but theyre docile+mild mannered+congenial+laid-back+devoted+in tune with emotions and routines+ v soft and polite#reminds me more of nagito in ch. 1 and that sort of part of his personality djdndj#in terms of design. the oriental doesnt look fluffy eniugh ehilr the ragdoll looks too fluffy dhdbdhdj angora is a nicr middle ground that#looks like his hair but still makes him look? like. skinny and tall#also....missing a paw bc of the hand thing lol#dr#again i prommy ill draw something better than this soon 😔😔#i just needed to do this for nagito after doing one for hajime lol. but i dont care much to do it for other characters so this is the last#hmmm nyagito komeowda?....nyagato komeowda....#OH ALSO painting is by Wienand Klaes Hansen#i couldnt find if it had a name or not though sbsnsjs#the painting in the background i mean
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