#ill just keep it tagged like that here till idk

[bekkomi]

Based on that one Korean poster of Macbeth

[dandelionflowery]

GASP

i remember reading about your plans for the lily one and i liked the sound of it before i realized it was you

i just decided to send an ask to make it easier

oh, and the ideas you have for the eventual wolfstar?

I'm in love already

feel free to talk more about it

Oo other people actually read that? woah

Anyways glad you like it!!

(the lily one)

anyways i'm going to take the opportunity to copy the tags i wrote here and develop them again, so that i can find them better because i'm absolutely chaotic

warning: clicking the see more button will open up a ridiculously long thing lmao

"First love peter/sirius (but closeted peter so closeted relationship)"

Sirius Black first fell for Peter Pettigrew. At first, he had believed it was just friendship, after all, feeling really close to your friends was what was supposed to happen with friendships, right?

After having dreamed (dreamt?) of kissing Peter, Sirius is forced to admit that he might not be thinking of his friend in a purely platonic way...

Timeline (TL): New Year's, their second year (i can't be bothered to figure out what year everything is lol): Sirius tells Peter that he thinks he might be a homosexual and that he kinda has a crush on Peter

End of year: Remus has gone to see Madam Pomfrey and James is in the common room with... other people talking about... stuff Peter and Sirius are in their dorm, Peter is packing, Sirius is reading something. Remus has just walked out the door, and Sirius asks Peter if he would prefer him to leave, as since New Year's, Peter has been avoiding Sirius. Peter replies that it's fine and long story short Sirius and Peter have their first kiss.

Summer: They send each other letters with invisible ink or something idk yet

Third year, return from Christmas holidays: Sirius ends things with Peter, without much explanation, and he refuses to talk about what happened at his "home". (implied conversion therapy by his "family")

The two are never as close as they once were, but stay civil. Peter meanwhile is having an identity crisis bc i'm incapable of writing a non-aroace Peter lol

~~*~~

"Followed by marlene/sirius bc they're both denying they're gay + siri's parents found out he had been with a boy"

After the whole fiasco with Peter, and mostly his family finding out, Sirius kissed Marlene McKinnon during a game of truth or dare after having been dared by Mary MacDonald to kiss his crush.

He didn't like her, not like that, not like how he'd liked Peter, but his family seemed to think they had cured him of his ""mental illness"" and Marlene was a good enough friend that he could tolerate dating her.

[sidenote: this is going to be painful to write bc Sirius now thinks there's something wrong with him for being gay and he's going to look down on it a lot]

TL: Third year, May (approx): Sirius starts dating Marlene. Both soon realize they'd rather be dating someone of the same gender but internalized homophobia + keeping up appearances means that they keep dating till... idk, March of the following year?

March (?) of 4th year: Marlene and Sirius agree to break up momentarily so that Marlene can ask Dorcas out, and they'll get back together if Dorcas rejects Marlene.

Dorcas does not bc she's just as gay as Marlene.

Sirius is now single again.

~~*~~

"Then siri/lily bc marlene was like “fuck this i'm lesbian”

"And lily watched sirius help his friends and get into trouble for them and she found that really nice of him" (i can never remember to write them as bullying snape so either this is after he called lily mudblood or he's just not there lmao)

Remus and Lily are friends

TW: someone throwing up

Also bc i'm going to forget

* _____________________back of the room___________________

-------- -James- -Peter- -------- |

|-------- ---------- -Sirius- --------- |

|--------- -------- -------- -------- |

|--------- -------- -------- -------- |

|-Remus- --Lily-- -------- -------- |

| |

| -------McGonagall----- |

____________________front of the room_____________________*

there's a door at each of the stars

(things get way more detailed after this point lol)

From his seat in front of Peter, Sirius noticed movements coming from his ex and James. As the students were supposed to be writing in silence, Sirius tilted his head down as if he was concentrating on his writing but in reality this pose allowed him to see Peter and James.

Peter was throwing up. Sirius's heart lurched, he wanted to go help his friend, but Professor McGonagall would absolutely murder him, he'd already caused trouble in that period. From the corner of his eye, he could see James sneakily pointing his wand at Peter and vanishing the vomit/hiding Peter from their classmates view.

Sirius decided to risk Minnie's wrath and tossed his eraser at Remus. Luckily for him, Minerva was too busy at her desk to notice.

Remus turned around, causing Lily to follow his gaze, a reprimanding whisper clearly on her lips.

As they turned, they both saw Peter and James. Remus immediately nodded at Sirius and Lily closed her mouth.

Sirius let out a loud sigh, attracting attention to himself.

"This assignment is way too hard," he complained loudly.

Remus laughed, almost as if on cue, although they had never practiced this.

Professor M looked up from her desk, and caught a glimpse of James and Peter. She stayed where she was, watching Sirius and Remus.

Remus's laugh had attracted the class's attention to him, and he and Sirius continued to banter to distract everyone from Peter. Behind him, Sirius heard James whisper to Peter if he wanted to go to the hospital wing. There was no verbal answer from Peter, but James said "Pete, you're clearly sick, it would be a good idea-- come on Wormy-- *sigh* all right, I won't force you"

Remus was saying something about how the assignment was really not that hard, if only one had a little brainpower, to which Sirius automatically replied something. He noticed the person sitting behind Remus start to see through the glamour James and Sirius both put up around Peter, so Sirius said, "If you're so smart, Lupin, you don't need that eraser at your feet, do you? Because I believe that's mine."

Remus, getting the hint, prepared to throw it back to Sirius. McGonagall got up from her desk.

"Mister Lupin, you had better not throw that- "

She was interrupted by Remus throwing the eraser. Sirius pretended to fall over catching it, and James jumped up to catch him. This position effectively hid Peter from view as Sirius and James were in front of him (I'm not sure if i'm going to leave the fourth row on the right {of our screens, to the characters' lefts} bc it kinda messes with this scene).

Professor M walked over to Sirius and James, who disintangled each other, and James took the opportunity of walking back to his desk to recast his glamour on Peter.

"Mister Black, you will sit down and be quiet, and I would like to speak to you and Mister Lupin at the end of class."

Sirius nodded meekly. That was not a conversation he would look forward to.

McGonagall stayed behind Sirius for a moment, surveying her class.

"Well? Get back to work," she ordered.

Sirius felt her robes swish as she turned around discretely.

She stayed at the back of the class a moment longer and then walked back to her desk.

Sirius risked a look back at Peter and James, only to find that neither of them were there, and Peter's desk was spotless.

He smiled to himself. Minnie had convinced Peter to go out the back door with James with the hospital wing. No matter how much trouble he would get into, he had succeeded in his mission. Peter was worth it.

At the end of the class, Remus and Sirius waited for everyone to leave.

Lily was the last to leave, and Sirius heard her ask McGonagall if she should help take James and Peter's stuff for them. Minerva smiled at her student but told her that she would take care of it, and would Lily please leave the classroom to speed things up for Misters Black and Lupin.

Lily cast Remus and Sirius an anxious look as she left, clearly wanting to say something but not daring to contradict her head of house. Sirius assumed she wanted to tell McGonagall that Remus hadn't done anything wrong.

As soon as Lily had left the room, McGonagall smiled at the two boys in front of her, to their bewilderment.

"Normally I would punish you for disrupting my class, but I did see that it was for a noble cause. Your friends are in the hospital wing, so consider my punishment to take their belongings over there, and to stay and help Madam Pomfrey with whatever she needs for half an hour. I've written her a note explaining everything, and I'm sure she'll find something for you two to do."

Sirius and Remus thanked her and turned to get their friends' stuff.

"Now boys, don't take this as an excuse to cause more trouble, I'm excusing you this one time but don't get used to it."

"We won't!" they chorused as they left the room.

To Sirius's surprise, Lily was waiting for them.

"I should have said something, I don't want you two getting into trouble just because you were helping Peter, and I know that she'll believe me, even if she wouldn't believe you two, and oh I hope you aren't in too much trouble--"

"Lily. Chill," Remus said.

"You do know this isn't the first time we've gotten in trouble, right?" Sirius added.

"Well, yeah, I know, but usually you're just fooling around. Here you were trying to help your friend. You shouldn't get in trouble for that."

Remus glanced at Sirius slyly.

"We'll be martyrs, forever remembered as saints," he started, fully expecting Sirius to chime in.

"Oh, cut it out Rem. Minnie saw what we were doing, and our 'punishment' is just to drop off James and Peter's stuff at the hospital wing, and to help Poppy for only half an hour. I've spent entire days helping her, this is nothing."

Remus stared at him in surprise as Sirius started walking towards the hospital wing.

"I didn't know you'd spent time helping Poppy," Remus said as he caught up to his friend.

Sirius glanced back to find Lily following them. He shot Remus a look that meant, 'Does she know about your furryness?' Remus nodded almost imperceptibly.

Sensing Sirius's lingering hesitation about outing him as a werewolf to someone who already knew, [the Prank can... go suck a lemon? Bc I refuse to believe that] Remus prompted, "Oh, is it during the days after the full moon, when I'm recovering from my transformation? I kinda expected you guys slept, or went to class, or something, not that you helped Poppy."

"Nah, I like helping her, it makes me feel useful. Plus-" he shot another glance at Lily, "- at least this way I'm learning how to protect myself at home."

Lily made a sort of strangled noise.

"Yeah, my family's not great. Got a problem with that, Evans?"

Unconsciously, he and Remus drifted apart to let Lily walk in the middle.

"Well, it's- it's not a... well, not a good thing, is there nothing, i don't know, Dumbledore? can do for you?"

"About what? A pureblood family raising children?"

"But it's not right!"

"I can assure you I'm not the only one, and besides, what does Dumbledy care?"

"You're his student! He should care about your welfare!"

"Yeah? Well my parents are apparently supposed to love me and keep me safe, at least according to James, Remus and Peter, so forgive me if I don't believe in miracles from a guy who barely knows me."

Sirius strode ahead of Remus and Lily.

"Lily, we've had this argument with him many times, you won't win," Remus cut in before she could go after him. "Whoever you think would be a good candidate for helping him, he'll remind you that he shouldn't need help because his family isn't 'supposed to be like that'." After a pause, he added, "He's not wrong about that. It's best not to talk about his family with him."

Lily frowned but dropped the subject and asked Remus and Sirius about the assignment they had been working on as she and Remus caught up to their friend.

When they reached the infirmary doors, Lily paused.

"Sirius?" she asked, with an odd look on her face. "Could I talk to you?" With a glance at Remus, she added, "...Alone?"

"Am I in trouble, Evans?" he joked, while motioning Remus inside. Remus offered to take James's things inside for him, and Sirius ceded the bag to his friend before turning back to Lily.

Once Remus had gone into the hospital wing, Lily started talking.

"I won't keep you long [liar], I just wanted to say that I was really impressed by how you were willing to take the blame to protect your friend. And I know," she added hastily before Sirius could answer, "that you'll say that it was nothing, that 'that's just what friends do', that you've been in trouble before. But believe me, most people wouldn't do that. I don't think I know... anyone... who would go to such lengths just to save me embarrassment."

"What about your friends?" Sirius asked, curious. "Marlene, Mary, Emmeline, anyone?"

[the 'anyone' there is totally not bc i forgot who was in gryffindor with Lily lol /j- I know Alice (longbottom) was but I think she's older than the marauders]

Lily looked at the floor.

"We're friends, but... compared to you and your friends, it feels like we'd be much more selfish."

"For the record, Carrots, I'd get in trouble to help you too."

She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Really? But I thought you hated me for 'stealing' Remus from you?"

"I don't think that-"

"You literally said that yesterday," Lily pointed out.

"... Alright fine. But if Moony thinks you're worth spending time with, then you can't be so bad. Even if you have horrid taste in friends."

"I used to think Severus would help me, but..." she trailed off, and Sirius knew they were both picturing [Snape's Worst Memory]

(tags by the_infamous_jack on their fic, Boys will be bugs)

"As I said, you have horrible taste in friends. But yeah, if you had been the one vomiting all over your desk, I'd have helped you." Sirius paused. "Also, you seem to think that I'm this great guy for doing this, but let's be clear, if it had been Snivellus, I'd be mocking him for months."

Lily had that odd expression on her face again.

She licked her lips hesitantly, than reached up and kissed Sirius.

"Uh-..."

"Sorry, I should've asked you!! Oh I'm so sorry-"

"Don't sweat it, Carrots. ... Um, may I ask why you kissed me though?"

"Because that's what I was planning to ask you when I stopped you here," she admitted.

"Carrots! You, prim, perfect Lily Evans, you have a crush on lil ol' me?" Sirius teased.

To his surprise, Lily blushed and nodded.

"Don't look so shocked, Rebel, you're good looking, funny, smart- though you hide it- and now I find out you're a caring person who's extremely loyal to your friends- which apparently I am- and you're capable of not boasting."

Sirius felt himself redden.

"You're forgetting that I can be a right arse to people, and that I know spells that would make even ol' Dumbly gasp, thanks to my family."

Mentally, he added, 'And I only boast to draw attention away from how fucked up I am.'

Lily laughed and swatted his arm gently.

"The only people I've seen you be an arse to are Sev- Snape and his friends and... you're not wrong about him. And as to what your family taught you, you had no control over that. Sev- Snape now knows a lot of the things you grew up with, but he's looking for that stuff whereas you're actively avoiding it."

Sirius looked down at the floor, somewhat embarrassed by how easily Lily had been able to figure him out.

"Gee, Carrots, you seem to know a lot about me, have you been watching me all these years?" he teased, to avoid feeling like his soul was bared to the world.

Lily giggled.

"Well, Rebel, as I said, you're good looking. Is it my fault if I picked up how you act while I was staring at your bum?"

"Better watch out, Lilypad, you'll end up a rebel like me if you keep this up."

Lily smiled at the new nickname.

"Well, darling," she bit back, "I wouldn't have thought that would bother you?"

Sirius flashed her a grin.

"Quite right, love, I wouldn't mind."

Lily mouthed, 'love?' in shock, and smiled at him, a real smile, not meant to tease him.

'Shit,' thought Sirius.

"Uh- well, I should go in-" he gestured at the doors- "to see Peter, and fulfill my 'punishment'-"

Lily kissed him again.

Sirius's breath caught in his throat, and then, hesitantly, he kissed her back.

She skipped away a few paces, then turned and called out, "See you later, Rebel!"

He raised his hand in a half-hearted wave.

"Later, Carrots!"

He opened the doors, still tasting Lily on his lips.

'My family was right, I'm not a homosexual, girls are into me, and I'm... into girls too. Definitely.'

'...What am I going to tell James...'

No TL here bc I'm going to do it after the next bit, as they overlap.

Fun fact: When I wrote this, the nickname switch was totally accidental, but I like the fact that Sirius calls Lily "Evans" until the second Remus leaves, where he starts calling her "Carrots"

~~*~~

"And there's also brief and again secret starbucks bc he's dating lily to seem straight (even if the blacks would not approve of a muggleborn but he has a crush on james bc well, james is awesome lol"

Sirius had asked James to help him with spells such as the one he'd used to clean up after Peter, and the two boys were outside in the sun to practice.

"Now, mama says that this is one of the essential spells to know for a homeowner, it's one of..." James muttered something in a language Sirius didn't understand. "-173 Spells to Know If You Are Alive."

Ah, he had been translating the number Effie had told him in Hindi to English. Sirius understood the feeling as none of the marauders had learned to count in English at first since there were no maths classes at Hogwarts; James had been taught by his Indian mum in Hindi, Remus had been taught by his parents in Welsh and Peter had gone to primary school while he was living with his dad in Ireland and had learned in Irish Gaelic before learning in English. As for Sirius himself- and his brother- their parents had hired French tutors to teach them. Walburga and Orion were in no way good parents, but at least they had gotten their children good educations. It was the only thing Sirius would ever thank them for.

"Siri?" James's voice interrupted his musings.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry."

James had been trying to show him a wand movement and Sirius was now supposed to copy it.

James watched as Sirius tried the spell.

"Hmm, not bad for a first try! You actually seem to have the hard part down really well, you're just going too strong on that first part," James advised.

Sirius flushed at the praise.

Of course he flushed at praise, he had been raised in the Black family. It certainly had nothing to do with how close James was, how the light got caught in a halo of gold in his curls, how his glasses kept slipping down his nose, how pleased James was with Sirius...

Sirius shook himself out of his (totally heterosexual, totally platonic) admiration and tried the spell again. James's advice actually really improved the spell, but something was still off. At James's request, Sirius repeated the spell a few times.

"Ahah! I think I see the problem."

James moved behind Sirius, who felt his muscles tense at his proximity.

"See, what you're doing is this," James put his hand on Sirius's wand hand, demonstrating.

"And while that's almost it, you have to move your arm more like this." James's left hand pushed Sirius's left shoulder forwards slightly, allowing his right arm to move a bit further back.

James demonstrated the correct wand movement, using Sirius as a puppet, then stepped back to let Sirius try it on his own.

Sirius pretended not to mourn the loss of James's body against his.

"Very good!" James applauded as Sirius mastered the spell. The boxes he'd just packed tumbled to the ground as the two friends collapsed on the grass.

"James?" Sirius asked.

"Mhm?"

"You know how Lily kissed me, and wants to date me?"

"How could I forget such betrayal!?" James asked theatrically. "Yeah, I remember, what's up?" he asked more seriously. He could tell Sirius wasn't in a super joky mood.

"Well, I... I have a crush on someone else."

"You can tell her that, I'm sure she'd understand," James pointed out.

"No, I can't, because-" Sirius exclaimed.

James rose up on elbow to look at Sirius.

"Because?" he finally prompted when Sirius didn't continue.

"Because I... have a crush on... a guy."

"Oh. You're gay?" James asked. There was no fear, no hate in his tone or face, it was simply an innocent question. Sirius fell even more in love.

"... Yeah, I guess I am," he said finally.

"Congrats then." He lay back down. "I still don't see why you can't tell Lily though."

Sirius sighed.

"I think I'm going to go out with her anyways, it's not like the guy I like likes me back."

He heard James open his mouth, hesitate, and change tracks.

"There's another reason, isn't there," he stated.

Sirius sighed again. This would require telling James a lot of things he'd kept hidden. He almost wanted to hate James for being so observant, but he could never hate James for anything, and maybe telling him would lighten the weight the secrets pressed on him.

James seemed to understand that Sirius was willing to tell him, but was struggling to find words. Sirius was very grateful for his friend's patience.

"They... found out somehow..." he started slowly.

"Your family?" James murmured, turning his head to gaze at Sirius.

Sirius nodded, suddenly aware of how close they were.

"I... I had... I managed to find someone I liked, a boy, who liked me back," Sirius continued, careful not to say Peter's name. "We actually even started dating, and we were each other's first kisses."

"I didn't know that. When was this?" James asked softly. He seemed to be even closer; his eyes, magnified by his glasses, seemed to be the only thing in the world.

"In second year. Well, over the summer after second year is when we 'dated' most actively, but I'd confessed my feelings for him on New Year's. We had a system for sending messages that my family couldn't read, and I managed to convince them to let me have him over, as a sort of 'training' for him..." Sirius trailed off, a soft smile forming on his lips despite his best efforts.

"I never told you guys because he was still closeted, and he didn't want anyone to know. I also wouldn't have been excited to tell everyone, for fear of my family finding out, but I would have told you guys if he'd been ok with it;"

Sirius realized suddenly [I really need to learn more expressions for that] that James's nose was only about a millimeter away from his own as James breathed, "And then? What happened? You dated Marlene in third year."

Sirius swallowed nervously, both from the proximity of his crush (and how his breath felt, hot on his cheek) and also from the memory.

"Over Christmas break, I... Somehow they had found out... They weren't... thrilled... to learn they had a homosexual heir and... they... tried to..." Sirius stopped.

A tear ran down his cheek but ran into James's thumb as he cupped Sirius's face.

"They tried to make you not homosexual?" James asked, bringing the tip of his nose into contact with Sirius's. Sirius nodded shakily. Their breaths were hot and heavy, and James kept eye contact with Sirius as he stroked his face reassuringly.

Belatedly, Sirius realized that they were in an extremely hidden spot, where no one would run across them. Surely there was a heterosexual explanation for the way his body felt with James mere millimeters away from him, gazing at him with those big brown eyes. There must be. He did not want to relive his Christmas break from second year.

"James," he breathed, not wanting to disrupt the tranquility, and yet unable to stop himself. "What would you say if I asked to kiss you?"

James smiled, then pulled Sirius towards him and kissed him.

Kissing James wasn't like kissing Peter, when they were 12 and sneaking mere seconds alone, daring to give each other mere pecks. Kissing James wasn't like Marlene, when both of them wanted to be kissing someone else, someone they weren't supposed to want to kiss. Kissing James was still different than getting kissed by Lily, taken by surprise in a hallway.

Kissing James was like flying. Kissing James meant abandoning his life, abandoning his worries, his fears, his scars. Kissing James was being free, was heaven, was utopia.

James took his time, moving the hand that had been lying at his side to find Sirius's hand, stroking his cheek gently with his thumb, still resting on his face. James's lips were soft, and he wasn't forcing his tongue into Sirius's mouth like Marlene used to do, like he had thought was necessary to enjoy himself. James's glasses were a cool touch on his cheeks, his leg wrapped over Sirius's, everything was James, James was everything.

Sirius broke the kiss to breathe, and took the opportunity to open his eyes again, although he didn't remember closing them. James was also breathless, his pupils dilated, his glasses further down his nose than they usually fell, his smile a cracked grin of surprise, sweetness and love. Sirius kissed him again, pressing their bodies closer together, letting James pull him into a hug, letting James pull him onto his chest, being held by James as they kissed.

As they broke apart for air again, Sirius said onto James's lips, "I love you." James pressed his lips to Sirius's briefly before giving Sirius his heart-melting smile and replying "I love you too."

They lost track of time and only stopped when James started shivering. Despite having been living in Britain for 8 years now, his body still hadn't adjusted to the switch between India and Britain, at least temperature wise.

"What are we going to tell Lily?"

"Absolutely nothing. You will be a good boyfriend to her, and if, once the other two are asleep, we... 'hang out', she'll never know."

"But what if- what if she wants me to... have sex with her?" Sirius asked, suddenly worried.

"Then you will see if you are comfortable with that, and if you aren't, you will tell her that. And if you are, you will tell her that too," James replied calmly.

"... and what if with her I'm not comfortable but with... you... I was?"

James blushed.

"Well, then we would practice our silencing charms and lose sleep."

"Would you be comfortable with that?" Sirius asked, suddenly worried he'd gone too far.

"Well, as you know, I've never been with a guy like that before-"

"Neither have I," Sirius mumbled.

"Or a girl for that matter," James added as an afterthought. "But I would like to at least try with you."

"But... are you... homosexual as well?" Sirius asked.

James thought about the question.

"I think I'm both homosexual and... not homosexual."

Sirius noted with mild amusement how James was avoiding the word 'normal' for, well, normal people. After all, his family had made it abundantly clear that he was abnormal. In fact, he had a scar on his leg that said that.

[DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT THINK GAY PEOPLE ARE ABNORMAL SIRIUS IS JUST TRAUMATIZED AND HAS INTERNAL HOMOPHOBIA]

Oblivious to Sirius's amusement, James continued, "Because I am just as attracted to you as I... was to Lily."

Most anyone else would have completely missed the infinitesimal pause before the word 'was', but Sirius was not 'most anyone'.

"You can say you're still attracted to her," he reassured James gently. "You've always seemed like you have too much love for one person.

James didn't answer, clearly not wanting to lie but also unwilling to admit to Sirius that he wasn't the sole object of his affection.

Sirius smiled. "Hey, since I'm dating her, she'll spend more time with us, and someday you can tell your kids that you comforted her after her boyfriend was... idk, an absolute homosexual? And if you'll still want to sneak out of the family home and end up in my bed, I'll welcome you with open arms." He paused, and added, "and legs, too, if I'm lucky."

James burst out laughing., which somewhat quieted the voices in Sirius's head that were adding, 'If I'm still alive to see your kids.'

Later, while lying in bed listening to his friends' sleeping breaths, Sirius thought of what his perfect future would be like.

He still had feelings for Peter, even 4 years later, but he also had new- and at times inappropriate- thoughts about James.

James clearly still had a crush on Lily, but also for some reason he had a crush on Sirius.

Lily was really nice, and Sirius felt sure that she was the final proof of his homosexuality: if he was normal, he'd be attracted to her.

So his perfect life would be very messy and unconventional, and yet he can picture it perfectly.

He is kissing his boyfriend goodbye as Peter leaves for work, then he stops by Lily and James's next door house to pick up their children, who he will drop off at school if they're old enough, and he'll babysit the younger ones. Lily and James will get back from work at the same time, and the children will go back home with Lily, although they'll consider his house home as well, and James will stay with Sirius and they'll make out- or more- until Peter comes home and then one of the adults will cook and Remus will drop by after his workday and if they're not busy, Dorcas and Marlene might stop by as well, as well as Lily's other friends, and Sirius's loves will all be together, with him, happy, content, carefree.

A spine breaks into his reverie.

Regulus.

He takes up his dreaming again.

A doorbell dings while Sirius loves is eating dinner. He'll go open the door, he'll be closest, he'll insist, or Lily dear, you've been on your feet all day, let me go get it. He'll open the door to his brother. 'Regulus?' he'll say. The brothers will look at each other. 'Sirius,' Regulus will reply. 'I thought you weren't coming, come in, we were getting worried, Harry- James would definitely name a child Harry- Harry insisted on putting Mr. Snuffles on your chair to keep it warm.

Sirius fell asleep with a smile on his face.

TL: 5th year, April/May-ish: Lily kisses Sirius

April/May-ish: A few days later, Sirius kisses James

~~*~~

"And then when he gets kicked out (i am 100% messing with the timeline) and goes to live with james, sirius is too broken to be with someone as cheery and with such a loving family and easy life bc as much as james wants to help he just doesn't understand the struggles siri faces"

"And then once he's broken up with lily and james he tentatively starts a relationship with remus but at a really slow pace (jily get together too) "

He gets kicked out about two months after he starts seeing James.

He is far too broken to be cheered up by James's kisses, too broken to be cheered up by Effie inviting Remus and Peter over too, although he appreciates the initiative.

Peter and James try to talk to him, try to get him to do things. Remus gets them to leave him alone.

Remus alone understands the feeling of being broken, although he doesn't remember the feeling of finding out he's broken, he was far too young when he got bitten.

James writes a letter to Lily for Sirius, after getting his approval he retreats to his room, followed by Peter. Sirius wishes he could make James stop feeling helpless, it isn't his fault. But James can only imagine what Sirius is going through, and imagination can only go so far. Even Peter understands better, he's decided he will remain celibate forever or something. Sirius hears whispers of 'bisexual', 'aromantic', 'asexual', 'transgender' between Peter and Remus (James is bi too but he's leaving them alone). He doesn't try to understand.

Sirius is only comforted by Remus's steady presence, whether he's reading a book, or writing stories he burns, or softly strumming his guitar, or simply existing with Sirius, not talking, but so much understanding flowing between them.

Two broken people, agreeing to exist together, deciding to brave the world that doesn't want them.

The only times Sirius goes out are the full moons.

He's started turning into a dog more often. As a dog, life is simpler. His canine brain lets him focus more on the love he's surrounded by, the love directed at him, the love he starts reciprocating.

The first wag of his tail surprised him.

It was an ordinary evening, Fleamont and Peter were playing chess, Euphemia and Remus were discussing gender roles- last he had tuned in- and James was absentmindedly petting the canine Sirius as he read him a story, dog paws not being the best at turning pages. Remus had glanced over at him over at him when he heard the soft thumping of the tail, the only one to do so, all the others were too scared to scare Sirius. Remus hadn't been scared, Remus had smiled. And in that smile, Sirius saw his new future: not the next day, or even the next years but someday, by taking life one day at a time, he would be alright. He had amazing friends who would be at his side, and maybe one day he could learn to open his broken heart up to someone else, someone new.

Someone who also had a broken heart.

His eyes met Remus's. Had he been human, he would have smiled.

The two canines, too broken for humans.

Yes, he would be quite alright.

~~*~~

Bonus (tw canon lol) [for A---k, that's a link, go check it out]

~~*~~

And now the serious goes away lol

"anyways feel free to ask questions about any of these things bc the only way i'll remember to write all this stuff is if someone else is in"

I did mean to write interested not just in, idk what happened there lol

... i did mean soft LMAO

@discoveredreality @gendergay-anthony ... i might've written more stuff oops

@lienspien i might've written stuff

(Also A---k since you still don't know how tumblr works, feel free to comment as much as you want, the only person getting notified will be me)

TL,DR

↓

Timeline: New Year's, their second year (i can't be bothered to figure out what year everything is lol): Sirius tells Peter that he thinks he might be a homosexual and that he kinda has a crush on Peter

End of year: Remus has gone to see Madam Pomfrey and James is in the common room with... other people talking about... stuff Peter and Sirius are in their dorm, Peter is packing, Sirius is reading something. Remus has just walked out the door, and Sirius asks Peter if he would prefer him to leave, as since New Year's, Peter has been avoiding Sirius. Peter replies that it's fine and long story short Sirius and Peter have their first kiss.

Summer: They send each other letters with invisible ink or something idk yet

Third year, return from Christmas holidays: Sirius ends things with Peter, without much explanation, and he refuses to talk about what happened at his "home". (implied conversion therapy by his "family")

Third year, May (approx): Sirius starts dating Marlene. Both soon realize they'd rather be dating someone of the same gender but internalized homophobia + keeping up appearances means that they keep dating till... idk, March of the following year?

March (?) of 4th year: Marlene and Sirius agree to break up momentarily so that Marlene can ask Dorcas out, and they'll get back together if Dorcas rejects Marlene.

Dorcas does not bc she's just as gay as Marlene.

Sirius is now single again.

5th year, April/May-ish: Lily kisses Sirius

April/May-ish: A few days later, Sirius kisses James

5/6th year summer: June/July-ish: Sirius gets disowned and is no longer in any relationships

Past that, Wolfstar begin their slow relationship

↑

TL,DR

[junipeach]

okok, uni accepted me (again) so we back on track baby!!!!!!

[jinlix]

Good evening 💞💖💓💕💞💖💓💕💞💖💓💕💞💖💓💕💞💖💓💕💞💖💓💕💞💖💓💕💞💖💓💕💞💖💓💕💞💖💓💕💞💖💓💕💞

[gloopy2000]

hhhhhhhhhhhh

[matbaerzal]

I see you’ve put makar on the list… I too have a newfound interest in his lil pink cheeks

-ill sweatshirt non

A/N: idk what this is but here you go xx 😅 Warnings/tags: Friends to lovers babyyy. Maybe the tiniest bit suggestive.

You'd never really looked at Cale that way, much to his dismay all you saw him as was cute. He hated the word at this point, could stop his cheeks from blushing whenever you called him it, but he wanted to be more than that to you.

He'd been flirting with you for months. And he didn't know if he wasn't being obvious enough or if you were too polite to turn him down.

You viewed Cale as a friend, one of your closest at this point. One of the most polite people you knew – he'd always be there if you needed him. Your friends insisted that he liked you, but you thought the idea of that was ridiculous, he was just your sweet friend Cale. It wasn't only that he wasn't really your type, but you hardly thought you were his either.

Lately, however, he'd been a lot more physical when he played and you couldn't help the feeling in your chest, wherever it was. Seeing him throw big hits, made you look at him a little differently, maybe he was capable of being more than just sweet and cute. At first, it was only during games that you felt this way, but the other day it happened when he was off the ice.

You'd been out for a walk, and stupidly you hadn't checked the weather before going out in just a t-shirt. It had been warm enough when you first left, but it got cold pretty quickly. You didn't want to say anything, but Cale could see it. Wordlessly, he pulled off his sweatshirt, his t-shirt getting a little stuck as he did. You couldn't help your eyes from drifting, lingering on his stomach a little longer than appropriate. He didn't catch you though, but your flustered state didn't go entirely unnoticed.

"Here you go" he smiled, though furrowing his brows a little as you avoided his gaze when you muttered out a thank you.

When he inevitably got cold later on, you wrapped an arm around his waist, telling yourself it was only to warm him up, and not at all because you liked the way it felt when he put his arm over your shoulder.

He walked you back to your place, and when you were about to take his sweatshirt off and give it back to him, he stopped you.

"You can keep it till next time"

His cheeks were red, you guessed it was from the cold air – but really it was because he liked the way you looked in his clothes so much.

Even though it was much warmer inside your apartment, you kept his sweatshirt on. As you snuggled up on your couch, you found yourself closing your eyes as his scent filled your nose, using a hand to push the fabric up so you could smell it properly. Suddenly you felt like something was missing. Your shoulders felt bare without his arm there, the couch empty without him next to you, the room silent without his cute laugh.

You felt your eyes widen as you processed your own thoughts. Did you like Cale Makar?

[artobotsrollout]

Transformers: Harbingers

The Pirate Scream AU

Before I talk about it you guys are the best thank you for indulging me and my AU from this post xjdjd. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

@badlydrawntransformers @cosmic0de @warrioroffandoms @measlyfurball13 And a bonus thank you to those encouraging me in the tags as well ❤️

I plan to do art for it as well as accompanying written bits and maybe even an animatic but till then have some general info under the cut.

Also there is transformers: Prime spoilers below so open at your own risk.

TRANSFORMERS: HARBINGERS

So this AU comes from the same place many AUs heavily involving TfP Starscream come from: the unfulfilled potential in our boy Scream. Now deeper discussion of that is not gonna be in this post. It'd be a whole essay.

It also comes from just how salty I was that the Team's kindness never really benefitted them much and they kept getting slapped for it. And OP really wanted to win over a con and Starscream kept wanting a partner. ALSO ALSO Optimus was portrayed as keeping his emotions in check and then never really gets a message that it's okay to be emotional so... I'm doing that here.

And the Starscream Pirate AU was born...

Aka Transformers: Harbingers (maybe idk if it's catchy enough djjsw)

Why Harbingers? ''It's just a SHIP Starscream chills in for awhile in the show' ' I hear you say. WELL HANG ON!! I got two very good reasons!! .

First off: Starscream, with the help of some Cybertronians who he wins over one way or another (Ill get to that), help him essentially use the remains of the Harbinger to put together their own functional ship. It's smaller than the Nemesis and will take some pirate ship inspiration. While it is a hardy beast it's a bit jury rigged.

Second of all:

Imagine being a fictional character living in a ship with a name that basically means 'Foreshadowed bringer of change' and then going back to Megatron and his bullshit. I'm gonna grab this and run all the way with it. Highway to Hell just came on my Spotify so... That may be an omen.

---------

NOW LISTEN

I feel like Starscream and Optimus could really have had such an interesting dynamic but we never really got to see that in TfP and I feel cheated. Also both could have mutually benefitted a great deal.

So what do I do? I shove them together to be sorta begrudging Co-Captains. As a result there's a lot of shenanigans to be had!

How this happens OP has some run ins with cons and, through a way I'm still deciding, has the opportunity to extend a hand to Starscream. Starscream, being kindness starved, doesn't entirely know what to do about Optimus being nice to him one whole time with no sarcasm or ulterior motive and sorta starts trying to get his attention.

Starscream and his crew are a bit of their own team at this point. MEANING sort of new LOGOS!

I'm yoinking the crossed out Decepticon logo from the Dark Energon Starscream and Dark Energon Knockout toys cause I mean... It's right there and also kinda like a skull and crossbones. It fits too well guys.

Starscream essentially manages to win over the autobots enough so they can sorta make a mutually beneficial, if strained, alliance to aid their aligned goal: killing Megatron and revitalizing cyberton. This is aided by some slight changes to the plot of course. It's also a benefit, much to Ratchet's delight, since they finally get some cybertronian tech to work with.

And so they gotta work together to take Megatron out and there's much bonding moments esp later when the autobot base is destroyed. Starscream extends his hand to them and offers them a more permanent position onboard. (rubbing in how unfortunate their situation is and how this is such a big favour but he's paying Optimus back.)

And insert team dynamic stuff!! Like cons teaming up with Bots, Starscream and Optimus trying to stick with it leading their own teams but keep accidently backseat-leadering one another. I will write some other ex-con and bot dynamics cause there's a lot of chaos to be had.

Optimus doesn't open up to his crew for morale sake and masks his emotions well, and Starscream is... well Starscream is Starscream so he masks what he truly feels a lot and doesn't share a lot of personal stuff besides complaints with his team either. So there's a lot of tension.... That is until Starscream has had it at just how good a poker face Prime has.

Because he's absolutely paranoid got a harmless curiosity about Optimus's ulterior motives and wants potential dirty secrets he can use as blackmail to have power over the Prime, he essentially puts cybertronian booze (but kid friendly version of course fbejek) in Optimus's energon heavily expecting him to spill the beans when heavily drunk. What he doesn't expect is that Optimus is just... LIKE THAT to his core. He's smart but very sad and guilty. And maybe a bit weepy and exhausted cause this man has not shown an emotion for eons now. /s. Starscream doesn't know wtf to do but swayed by how earnest Optimus is he sorta softens up and does open up. Might have helped that he took a swig of the tainted energon to get on his level though. But it also helps that neither is the others subordinate so they don't need to maintain their image as badly with the Co-captain as they do their team.

The ex cons sorta accidently absorb some of the autobot's morals over time. The cons help the autobots have some fun. There's a lot of stuff learned both ways. Also the cons realize how cool humans can be and after a lot of argument and forced time spent with the kids, they want to protect earth too.

Starscream, helps Optimus open up a bit more and allow himself to be emotional. He also shows him how to be a little selfish. Optimus in turn helps him with self confidence and making friends. Both help each other with the shit Megatron put em both through and overall boost one another up. (This also does change the start of the war a bit but I'll get to that in another post.)

Miko tries to fight all of the cons at first but quickly changes her tune cause "BOOYAH PIRATE CONS!!"

Other bits about this AU:

Starscream will eventually get a slight design change. It'll be less scrappy and look more confident and put together. It'll be minor

Because they are on a flying ship but have less energon than the Nemesis, everyone gets equipped with mods for flight. There is a jetpack upgrade one can get or Knockout can straight up help change their alt mode surgically.

I'm working up a list of who gets what flight mod but... Ya'll should know that Wheeljack dares Knockout to make him into a flying car. Largely cause I just got the image of Wheeljack flying above vehicons and just turning into a car and dropping on them. That and driving up the side of the Nemesis and confusing the fuck out of Megatron. Out of all the characters you know that would be a Wheeljack thing.

Arcee and Knockout grieve together.

Knockout loves bugging the hell out of Ratchet. It's extra fun for him cause Ratchet often can't do shit about it since they both need the room and tools.

Knockout and Wheeljack become an insufferable duo with the nicknames they have for everyone.

Wheeljack won't leave Starscream alone and keeps coming up with worse and worse nicknames like he did with Ratchet.

Starscream and Ratchet become complaining buddies.

STARSCREAM'S SEEKER SQUAD REJOINS. Well some of them. Skywarp, Thundercracker and maybe other peeps.

Miko manages to befriend Skywarp and Bulkhead now has to watch both Miko AND Skywarp. Wheeljack refuses to help Bulkhead round them up.

Raf hits it off with Thundercracker.

Knockout: "FINALLY a team with fragging MANNERS!"

Instead of Beeftimus Prime from the forge, Optimus actually gets access to a third alt mode and.. Idk something else primely. So he actually gets wings.

Starscream and the other fliers are greatly amused because Optimus, as great as he is at his poker face most of the time, hasn't yet figured out how to not emote with the pair of wings he gets from the forge. Thundercracker is the one who eventually informs him while the rest of the crew are booing loudly in the background.

I actually do have designs of TFP Skywarp, Thundercracker, and Ironhide in the works.

Fowler and Starscream have insult battles. Oddly both grow a weird almost fondness for these verbal sparring sessions

They frequently raid the Nemesis

Miko keeps talking in a pirate voice. Smokescreen has joined her.

AND A LOT OF OTHER STUFF I'LL GET INTO WITH MORE DETAIL AND ART. I'll also talk more in depth about some of these things that isn't a ramble like this post is. xnwjskw.

Feel free to ask about anything you're curious about.

[atypicalacademic]

Tatiana Amell - The Basics

Thank you for the tag 🥺 @wild-houseplant one (1) Tia for you - I couldn't nab a screenshot because the cc makes her look so thin and she is Not so I made her in this dollmaker instead. Since a bunch of Circumstances change over time for her, I'm setting this in her Warden-worldstate, around a few years after the events of Awakening, while she's still Warden-Commander at Vigil's Keep.

Tagging: Lessee I know @greyvvardenfell has elder scrolls friends to share with the class, @sunrisenfool if you would like, and @ollifree u too <3

Character’s name: Tatiana Mariah Amell

Role in story: Hero of Ferelden

Age: 19 at her Harrowing, 20 by the time she gets to like, Redcliffe. Which means she's in her mid twenties here ig

Physical description:

Holy shit she's so pretty you have no idea Short, like, really short for a human, curvy and chubby (she's always been described as voluptuous). She has deep bronze skin, and black hair she painstakingly cuts into these feathery, bouncy waves. The front few strands of her hair are dyed cobalt blue. At this point in her timeline, she has hair till her mid-back, more or less. She has wide eyes, I describe them as raw-honey brown, fringed by thick lashes, and framed by thick eyebrows. There's a burn mark around her left eye, from when she came into her magic. Her faceclaim is the lovely Aiswarya Lekshmi-

MBTI/Enneagram Personality Type:

MBTI: ENFP (The Campaigner), Enneagram: Type 7 (The Entertainer)

Internal Life

What is their greatest fear?

Isolation, and relatedly, abandonment. When her magic manifested, she had witnessed how her loving family had turned against her, inflicting all manners of abuses on her in hopes that her magic would be "exorcised" (think Chateau d'Onterre), following which she was ripped away from them to a loveless, frightening life at the Circle. It's safe to say that she never recovered from those wounds, and so she lives in absolute terror of being alone, or abandoned. She also suffered bouts of being locked up in Kinloch's dungeons whenever she "acted up", leading to this fear worsening.

Inner motivation:

Her loneliness, actually. Or to put it in happier terms, her need for connection. Everything she does is informed by it, from her mistakes to her legend, it's all so she could prove that there was something worth staying for, in herself.

Kryptonite:

Love. Tia lives by her heart. She would go to just about any lengths for love, to find it, and to keep it. It has led her to many unsavory places before, to many reckless decisions, to many ways of being taken advantage of by those with ill-intentions. Luckily, her love is also deeply informed by compassion; and I don't mean just romantic love; she would gladly lay down and die for Morrigan, her best friend, if it meant she would love her just a little more.

What is their misbelief about the world?

That magic is a curse. This definitely doesn't translate as distaste for fellow mages or anything, though, she absolutely believes that the Circles are cruel systems. But magic destroyed her life, and it destroyed her family, and everything was fine before she had it. Chantry brainwashing didn't help this mentality either, though Tia's fiercely an atheist. She just believes that her magic is a dreadful thing, and only if she tries really really hard, she would be good despite it.

Lesson they need to learn:

That not everyone needs to like her, and she does not need it to be salvaged.

What is the best thing in their life?

Zevran.

What is the worst thing in their life?

At this point? Responsibility. She bears it well enough, but being responsible for an Arling as well as the Wardens takes a huge toll on her mental health, especially since as Commander, she can't hold on to people for support as she needs to.

What do they most often look down on people for?

Aside from the obvious, like idk, being racist, she doesn't like people who are austere to prove a point. She's an utter hedonist, and she's sorry they can't seem to get that happiness is the point, actually.

What makes his/her/their heart feel alive?

So many things. Sunrise, sunset, feeling the wind in her hair, laughter, pretty dresses, music, dancing, sex, the way Zevran smiles when he says her name...

What makes them feel loved, and who was the last person to make them feel that way?

Constancy. She may be wild and free, and her tastes are wild and free, but she craves a relationship with constancy; she's had many partners who have used up her devotion and discarded her, so she wants to know, every day, that her love is returned, that it will not grow tiresome, that wherever she may go, he will love her through it all. And he does. Zevran does.

Top three things they value most in life?

Love, freedom, compassion.

External Life

Is there an object they can’t bear to part with and why?

Hmm..she actually loses stuff all the time, but I would say its the earring she got from Zev. They spoil each other rotten with gifts all the damn time, but that one is special, it was his first token of love.

Describe a typical outfit for them from top to bottom:

She typically wears her hair in a ponytail, though she glams it up by leaving a lot of loose strands to artfully frame her face. (She clips them back if she's like in battle or something). Makeup is a touch of blush if she feels like she needs it, eyeliner and lipstick. She has 'em specially enchanted to keep her lips soft uwu. Sometimes, she wears flowers in her hair as well. If she's not in her Warden-Armour, she's particular about her mage robes (the Circle ones were so drab), they're usually in bright colors- blue, or pink, sometimes in ombre shades. She likes adding touches to beautify it, like floral emboridery, shimmery shawls, and the like. If not robes, she loves gowns and long skirts, cut low at the neck and with poofy sleeves. Shoes she mostly wears flats, in matching colors, for ease of moving about.

What names or nicknames have they been called throughout their life?

The Amells used to call her "Butterfly", her mother in particular called her "my little butterfly". Everyone at the Circle simply called her "Amell." (Anders sticks with this actually, after they were past the "Warden-Commander" stage of their friendship.) "Tia" is usually the name for those close to her. Zevran calls her as such, along with "my sweet", "my dearest", "mi amora" and like, a litany of Antivan petnames. Morrigan calls her "young lady", affectionately. She's aunty Tia to Kieran, and Cousin Tia to Viktor and Bethany Hawke.

(Aside from this of course, there have been many derogatory things she'd been called both at the Circle and by her detractors at Amaranthine, on account of her "reputation" (read: stupid gossip), as well as the fact that she's a Free Marcher and proud of it. "Harlot" is probably the most refined of these names.)

What is their method of manipulation?

Charm. She appeals to people's heart, to their ego, she can pretend to be a friend, a confidant. Seduction too, if it calls for it. She's trained herself to weaponize her looks (she knows she's seen as very attractive), and play up a harmless damsel act to get people in her pocket. And it works remarkably well. Teagan, for one, was practically eating out of her hand by the time she was done batting her lashes and simpering at him.

Growing up, manipulation had been the most effective harm reduction strategy she had, and she's not shy about using it to get what she wants.

Describe their daily routine:

Assuming she's not out on expedition or anything; wake up (on duty, she's up very early), get dressed, etc, then she likes to look over the recruits' early morning, run a few drills with the mages. Then breakfast with her buddies at the Keep, meetings and briefings at the start of the day with the Senior Wardens, then with Seneschal Varel, back to do a few rounds of training so she doesn't lose the sunshine, and then she gets to her study to answer letters. At this point, there will be petitioners from the Arling at her door whom Varel couldn't deal with himself, so she tends to them. She likes to take lunch with the newer recruits to keep their spirits up and get to know how they're adapting. Then she retires to her study to answer more fucking letters because those things never end. More meetings in the evening, review and such like. She has a bunch of projects on the go- fortifying the Keep, renovating things, and so on. Ever since she restored trade to the Arling, she also likes to throw the occassional ball or banquet.

If she has a relatively free day, she likes to take a carraige out to the city to mingle with the people so they wouldn't forget that their Arlessa has a face. She takes dinner fairly late, saving Zev's letter for the last before she pines and snuggles one of his scarves until she falls asleep. (They do have an open relationship, so like, she's free to take others to bed if she comes upon someone who catches her eye, so, when that happens..)

Their go-to cure for a bad day?

Depends on how bad. Mercifully, a lot of hiccups at work don't really get to her at this point. (I mean she's stared down a whole archdemon and lived, sure, a deep roads exit is sealed off, cry her a river, I guess). If she's just like, annoyed, she usually has someone duel it out of her, or she rants until she feels better. Or she eats, because dessert makes everything better. If she's sad, she cries it out. Her emotions, once triggered are very all over the place, so if it's particularly bad, she shuts herself away if someone who can handle it isn't around, so she wouldn't lash out or hurt people with it.

If Zevran's around, she has him lie on top of her like a weighted blanket. Or they have sex. For the dopamine, etc.

Goals

How are they dissatisfied with their life?

During this timeframe, the Warden-Commander thing is starting to get really old. Tend to the Keep, fight darkspawn, rinse-repeat as a lifestyle is stifling to her; she wants to be free to see the world, to pursue beauty and adventure. And worst of all, Zevran is far away. He's fighting battles of his own, and she wants to be right beside him as he does. He visits as much as he can, as does she, but she's so sick of having to wait for months before she sees him again (and have I mentioned that she snuggles his clothing to sleep). Morrigan is also far away, in Orlais. Another factor is the supposedly apolitical nature of the Grey Wardens. She's well aware of the rising tensions in many Circles now, Starkhaven has already fallen. Even with her position as Arlessa of Amaranthine, the Warden-Commander thing binds her from actively helping her fellow mages, which she so badly wants to do, as does she want to freely express her political opinions, as she's well aware of the weight her word carries, as the Hero of Ferelden. Have I also mentioned that she misses Zevran?

What would bring them true happiness or contentment?

A world without Circles, a world without Crows, a world without the Calling, her and Zevran and the wide open world, a house by the sea, a couple children that noone can take away from her, plenty to keep them warm and fed, friends to love them. And family. How she wants family.

What definitive step could they take to turn their dream into a reality?

Resign from the Wardens, hunt down the Crows with Zevran, join the mage rebellion, maybe. But "resign from the Wardens", is the problem, isn't it? Well, she could go find the cure to her Calling. But she dare not take such a journey at this particular political climate.

How has their fear kept them from taking this action already?

It's not fear, but ironically, a sense of responsibility. Ferelden, despite all it had taken from her, had given her so much, and it loves her so well now. She could never abandon these people for as long as they need her, no matter how tempting it may be to just. Leave. And not return.

How do they feel they can accomplish their goal while still steering clear of the thing they are afraid of?

She adapts, adapts, adapts. Can't politick openly as Warden-Commander? Okay, maybe she can invite the King and Queen for tea, can't she? She can do that. Maybe the next frightened mage-child in Amaranthine won't be tortured or punished, if their beloved Arlessa had something to say about it. She trusts Zevran to call her when he needs her, and then she will go to him. As it is, she takes leave when she can and does so anyway. Besides, her fortress is a sanctuary to him when he needs to lie low. Who would dare touch a hair on his head when he's beside the Hero of Ferelden? She feels stifled in her life? That's what the balls and banquets are for, to bring a touch of liveliness, her liveliness to the legacy of Vigil's Keep. If Warden-Commanding is no fun, she'll be a fun Warden-Commander. She longs for family? Okay, Morrigan is practically her sister, and Kieran is her nephew. They aren't here, but they write to her often. And for more family? Well, Bethany Hawke was transferred there from the Free Marches, and wouldn't you know it, they're cousins! And her brother Vicky lives at the Amell estate, herd childhood home. They stay in touch, and Viktor keeps her posted on the goings-on at Kirkwall, (and Anders, because that guy just dropped off the radar so rudely). If the rules really can't be broken (she does break them), they can be bent. And Tia is gifted in twisting them into pretzels.

She's spent far too much of her life drowning in her own pain to not take joy wherever she could, even if perfect happiness has to wait. For now.

[satrangee-ray]

I've never really posted serious stuff on my Tumblr before. At least not serious personal stuff, so this is gonna be a first. And I'm about to start a super emotional rant for no particular reason, except that I felt like I really need to put this out there, no matter how much other people feel like "I'm dragging down the energy", being a buzzkill, or just unnecessarily making things dark and heavy. So, if you're not up for it, don't proceed.

T.W.: Mentions of Trauma

So, as I gathered from the fandom, yesterday was OPH2 Chapter 11 replay day, and I've seen a lot of my favourite fandom people post about how E should have FREAKING COMPLETED HIS SENTENCE, and not given us a "care about you" statement when MC was legit supposed to be on their deathbed.

Now I understand where that sentiment is coming from, because I have been that MC and I have felt frustrated. I know what you're talking about, and I support you wholeheartedly when ya'll go, "boy, just say it!"

But, having said that, I kinda understand why he didn't, and couldn't. Ethan and I have a lot of things in common, which unfortunately include childhood trauma. And I don't wanna go into too many details, but I've never felt completely safe anywhere with anyone because of very valid reasons. And to add to that, I've had feelings for my best friend, who I had known for eight years. Eight freaking long years, and I thought I knew her. I could trust her.

And yet when after eight years I told her about my feelings, she definitely didn't reciprocate, (which is perfectly alright), but she took advantage of that knowledge to f*ck my life in so many ways that I'm still in the process of recovering from it. And for a person like E whose literal mother randomly left him with no explanation when he was mad young, I could only understand where he's coming from. There must be an automatic voice in his head which keeps saying "don't trust no one"– which is at least true in my case, and till date everytime I don't listen to that, I end up hurt badly. So if I'm right in this context, then no matter how much he loves or trusts MC, I understand why he couldn't tell them that he loves them after knowing them for only about one and a half years.

So, I would not say that it wasn’t justified for E to act the way he did. I would probably done the same if I was in his place.

Also, for the people out there who are in relationships with other people who are dealing with mental illness, I have a message. Please be patient with your S.Os. Trust me, they're trying. And you don't have to be their therapist, cause you're not supposed to be, but being their supporter until they're ready to speak their mind would really mean a lot to a lot of people.

Okay this got real dark, so again I apologize, for dragging this into the OH context. Should I even apologize? Maybe not...

I'm a confused two braincelled human, leave me alone 😅.

Thank you for reading if you've made it this far.

@gaeipsstuff @jeetushmannfeelz @adiehardfan @irisofpurple I know this is not a fic but I'm tagging you here cause... idk we're friends I suppose, and I felt like when I'm doing an emo rant late in the night, you should know. Love you all <3.

[just-a-fangirl13]

Why s5 *might* be the season MacRiley happens

Okay so...Hear me out! I'm not crazy I promise!!

Firstly, after 5x03 (and probably 5x04) it may seem very unlikely that MacRiley could ever happen. But I thought of a few reasons why they might actually happen by the end of s5 after all.... (it gets a lil long winded and kinda complicated but just stick with me till the end!)

1. All the MacRiley moments including the ones in 5x03.

[this Mac smile could not be an accident or something that slipped through both production and post-production right?! that in itself is a whole reason!]

Every Macriley moment we have ever had- whether it's the hugs, Riley saving Mac, Mac saving Riley, the ultimate show of loyalty when Riley went after Mac during Codex or even just the looks exchanged between the two- to any outsider it would seem pretty obvious that they are dating or at least in love. Keep in mind the writers would have written each of those scenes and Lucas and Tristan have acted them out with a specific build up in mind aka MacRiley.(think about the date episode: Riley just got dumped but was still thinking about how Mac might be hungry. She didnt have to do that. She could have just shown up at his place..) I mean how can they write two people so perfectly in sync and so perfect for each other and not have them end up together? It would just be a waste of all that tension and slow burn. (not to mention all the hugs and glances)

2. They know we exist. 

The MacRiley fam is very active on twitter with the writers and while they were writing 5x01 they knew we were around. They know we are a huge group. They would not want to risk pissing 90% of the fandom off by not making MacRiley endgame.

[P.S.yes 5x03 was a bait and switch but if you were paying attention you would have noticed that neither Lucas not Tristan live tweeted or hyped up the episode. They knew we would probably hate it so they didnt publicise it too much! so in the future if you have doubts about the episode being a MacRiley one just check their stories or posts on twitter/intstagram]

3. Yes 5x03 happened. 

I really think it was an episode they HAD to write. Ok so after 4x13 they had 7 more episodes planned and were filming 4x20 (aka the finale) when the pandemic struck. So they have these 6 episodes but no finale for it. [Idk if anyone else has noticed but in 5x01 there were clearly some parts cut out. For example the conversation between Desi and Riley towards the end seemed a bit jilted. Riley asking Desi to forgive her but Desi replied with yeah we are cool (still no apology ofc) I feel like something happened during that which ended up getting cut out so it could fit with the final story.]

This makes me think that they have rewritten a few bits to tie into the new finale episode. In 5x03 when Mac asked Desi to come fishing with him which was clearly something very personal to him she was like no do better.. then we see Mac's disappointed expression. She could have easily said okay but maybe not for our first date? Or its not really my thing? Or just about anything else rather than laughing in his face like that. Eventhough MD is together they still arent compatible. Mac’s final words in 5x03 was him being desperate. I truly think he is so broken and lost that Desi is the only safe thing left, the only thing he feels like he can fix right now. Once he finds himself again and heals...then it's going to hit him like a pile of bricks!!

4. But Riley doesn't have feelings anymore...WELL doesnt she? 

When it comes to Mac, Riley is always in denial. We saw it in s4 when she tells Bozer not to make her say it. I think s5 will show her finally accepting it. Finally accepting that she is in love with her best friend and that it definitely isnt Codex adrenaline because she caught the feels when Codex wasnt even around. While Mac's arc would include realising he and Desi are never going to work and that he is unhappy and that RILEY is the one for him.

[why else would they give Riley feelings for Mac? Something has to come of it.]

5. The slow burn rule.[this point is a lil complicated] 

Now season 5 is rumoured to have 13 episodes. So here’s what I think: If MacGyver follows the pattern that most shows do when it comes to slow burns, then technically MacRIley should have happened at the end of season 4. But since the season got cut short and they didnt get to air/finish their final episode the writers had to improvise. 

From what I know, 4x19 which is 5x04 for us is the episode where Mac meets Desi’s parents and 4x20 was supposed to be the finale that was left unfinished.(they are definitely moving the timeline ahead if a pre finale episode is suddenly a mid season one.) There might have been a 4x21 or 4x22 but I haven't heard anything about those....EVER.

So what I think they have decided to do instead is extend the MD storyline a bit longer just so they dont end up scrapping all their s4 episodes where they would be together and write a new finale that ties everything together, aka MacRiley.

If you think about episode counts, s4 and s5 together would have 26 episodes which is a how long a normal season runs. Basically what im trying to say is if we follow the ‘slow burns end by s4’ and take season 5 as an extension of 4 then MacRiley should get together in the season 5 finale or maybe the episode just before. (IM REALLY TRYING TO GET SOME LOGIC INTO THIS)

This would be a typical TV thing too where the couple finds out about each other’s feelings while the main arc of the show is also at its peak, which perfectly sets up a future season where fans are hyped but still has a satisfying ending.

6. So what about MacDesi?

So far the macgyver writers have given us characters we love. Think of every character on the show apart from maybe Desi... Mac, Riley, Bozer, Jack, Matty, Leanna, Samantha, Russ and even Murdoc. WE LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. So then why is Desi such a strange character? I think shes purposely been written as an opposite to Mac or even Riley (I get she’s supposed to kinda replace Jack but Jack is really irreplaceable). 

It's not necessarily a bad thing its just not a great thing to do or have great execution. People have said things like Desi is a badass and shouldnt have to apologise or say I love you back to her boyfriend because she is a strong woman...I'm sorry but your opinion of who a strong woman is, is EXTREMELY skewed. A strong woman is someone who can make mistakes and when she does, she is ‘strong’ enough to own up to it, she is loyal and fierce and also caring while being a badass who can take down bad guys. And for GODS SAKE, RILEY DAVIS IS A STRONG WOMAN...people have called her mushy and feminine on twitter and I'm just very confused by that.....

Anyways before I go off on a rant, it seems like Desi is intentionally being written this way. Every opportunity they get to redeem her and make her more relatable or just a better person they just dont take it. While Rileys character arc is one of the best I've ever seen. Either its intentional or they’ve forgotten how to write characters...which is worrisome but ill give them the benefit of the doubt.

The writers also know we dont like Desi. The amount of times we've tagged them in the toxic posts or pointed out problematic things we can be sure they've seen at least half of those. So theres no way they dont know. RIGHT?

So why then is MD still a thing you may ask??

Well for one they cant break them up again off screen because of those unreleased s4 episodes. (not to mention the other parts of the audience who arent as invested in mac’s love life would probably be very confused.)

Secondly Mac has to be the one to pull the plug, not Desi. 4x13 made it seem like Desi was the annoyed one not Mac. He apologised to her which meant he wanted to fix things. 

Thirdly, they are opening the chpt one last time before they permanently close it. MD is going to be a stark contrast to macriley(it already is in every way possible). Every issue Mac and Desi had can be used to show how amazing macriley really is as two people who arent even dating yet.

Fourthly, MD being together is a sort of commentary on Macs mental health as well. We can see how happy he is with Riley but around Desi he becomes some one else. If the writers are doing this on purpose or subconsciously still remains to be seen.

And Yes keeping MD around for a few more episodes seems like a necessary risk right now but I have a feeling its going to be worth it later.

[I know we have had like 4 desi entered episodes already but I really think 5x04 will be the last of it since 5x05 is the Jack episode and 5x06 is Mac+Riley+Bozer episode with no mention of Desi at all!]

The writers know we are a dedicated bunch and they know that once MD breaks up for the last time the entire fandom will be waiting and watching. That's when the show will be at its peak. That will be the perfect moment to bring in MacRiley’s arc to a new start!

Congrats if you stuck with me through this whole thing! if you agree/disgaree with any of these or have other reasons why they could be endgame in s5 let me know!!

[oopsvice]

Komahina/Kamukoma Fic Masterpost!

So, kinda obvious but, this a list of my all time favorite fics, the ones I would fucking pay to read more of. Just click on the title of the fic to go to the link :)

The Silence In Between (+18 / KomaHina) 

This is a musician au, and gOOd LORD is it good, fucking christ god dammit. The characterization is on point, and above it all it feels real, so fucking real, i love it so much. Its lovely, and worth all the angst (what is a good fic without a little sadness, huh?). Seriously, read it. Its amazing.

Many Komahina Opportunities (+18 / KomaHina)

This one is a series of smut, but they’re sequencial and have a lovely plot! I really enjoyed going through it, and oh lord did it hurt in the end, oof. It’s set canon universe, and its another one with an incredibly coherent characterization. I loved seeing them slowly aknowledge their feelings as their relationship developed. 

obs: Also, if you know the Poolside and Movie Theater FTE games, its the same author of this fic! I never played the games, but I asure you the writing on this one is amazing :)

Unbreakable Flight (+18 / KomaHina)

FUCk cHRIst why are all the things i read so angsty? Oh lord. This one is very sad, a fucking roller coaster, so buckle up. Its a normal life au where Hinata is a teacher and Komaeda is his new neighbour. As they start to get closer, their painful pasts are unrevelled and brought back to the present again. Just by the tags you’ll know what you’re going into, but fear not! Its worth it reading through the pain to acompany their journey.

Blue Irises (KomaHina)

If youre here from my tiktok comment, then this is the one i was talking about. Its a normal life au, where Hinata is kind of a gardener in a small city, and helps Nagito when his car breaks down the road. Really, its so, so sweet, i cant even, god. I stayed up till five reading it for three days in a row, and had to take fucking pauses at the end because it hurt so much. Good lord, i like to be hurt, dont i? Anyways, its such a sweet and pure and lovely fic, its worth all the chores youll drop just to keep reading it.

Admit It (+18 / KomaHina)

Man mAN do i love this one. I would fucking tattoo all of it, really, its its so fucking good. Its raw and dirty and gross and so fucking real it hurts. Its nasty and filthy and everything i am inside. Its smut focused, if that wasnt obvious enough, but in a way its more than that. I love it.

The Forsaken Lovers (KomaHina / KamuKoma)

This is a angels/devils au where Kamukura and Hinata are different people, and god, do I love fics like that! Its kinda obvious from the title what happens, but still, theres a twist to it that makes it worth it. So, if youre not convinced and need a little push, heres a minor spoiler: theres two ******s! Ahahaha! The reason for it is very grounded and believable, and seeing the four of the main characters all interacting is just lovely. Everyone can be happy, all i ever wanted!

Magic Isnt A Gift (But Memories Are) (KamuKoma / KomaHina)

This one is a magic au, where Hinata disappears and Kumukura takes his place. It kinda hurt me at the beginning seeing Nagito treat Kamukura so badly, but things start to work out and its so, so sweet. Also, the ending is what made me put this fic in this list. I was so scared of what would happen, and none of the options in my head seemed fair or happy for them, but the author broke all my expectations! I loved it so much. Again, ah, i just love when all of them can be happy in the end!

You Can’t Die (KamuKoma)

And this one is... mine! Haha, its not nearly as good as the others in this list, but i couldnt lose this oportunity, right? So, the story starts before Servant goes to Towa City, with Kamukura finding him on the verge of death and saving him. From there, their daily life of Kamukura caring for Sercant until he heals brings them closer, into a complicated mess. Its still on the very beginning, but i plan on adding some angst and other spicy~ stuff, maybe. If you want to, give it a shot :)

So, this is basically it for now, but there are thousands of other incredible fics at ao3. As i said, this list is only for the ones that really got to me, the special ones amongst the hundreds of others ive read (yeah, komaeda, hajime and kamukura live rent free on my mind). So, if youre searching for other good fics, ill give you a tip! On the personalize search option on ao3, put the word count for > 2000, select your desire relationship (and rating, if youre feeling spicy) and sort by hits. Thats how i find mostly amazing and coherent fics there more easily.

Anyways, i hope this helped! If you have any fic recommendation, i would love to read it! Just leave it bellow, somewhere (idk very well how tumblr works, oops).

Thank you for reading till here :)

[were-all-just-stories]

Drunk Wonderland Squad on a Night Out Headcanons

idk this is weirdly specific but they won't leave me alone till I've written them out

(just gonna put this here- mentions of underage drinking, if you don't like that. x)

Peter — everyone thinks he's the guy you'd want to stick with (on account of him being such a mom friend in general day-to-day life) but he literally cannot hold his alcohol and after one/two drinks, you've literally lost him the entire night. He'll dance with everyone, ending & staying with Jason and will whisper musical theatre references back & forth with Ivy the entire evening. Gets incredibly giggly and is lowkey an amazing dancer, even when drunk. He loves a vodka and coke and can usually be found drinking one - Ivy introduced him to this. He's the first one to pass out (usually on the way home) but almost never gets hangovers which makes the entire squad super confused & jealous. Jason basically follows him round the entire night bc he's lowkey kind of worried and has to make sure he's alright. He gets extremely clingy (especially to Jason but also to everyone) and goes around offering everyone a hug (while Jason's following, acting all exasperated bc he wants to dance with him but lowkey loving it.)

Tanya — the person you'd actually want to stick with on a night out. Life of the party and will always make sure you're having a good time. She keeps everyone well stocked with alcohol and makes everyone join in dancing - even Matt. Can hold her alcohol much better than Peter but gets awful hangovers the following day. Really, really loves peach vodka - Peter is the only other person who'll drink it with her. She gets very loud when drunk and will start belting out off-key ABBA songs, Lucas will join in bc that's my girlfriend. She and Lucas have a tradition ever since they started dating of dancing together whenever an ABBA song comes on, anywhere, Lucas has almost broken a leg in an attempt to find Tanya when he's heard the music start.

Matt — lowkey kind of a buzzkill. Turns into your literal mother in Peter's absence (but, like, your strict, paranoid mother not the caring mom-friend) and is constantly checking the time/the people around him/where his friends are. Gets super paranoid that he'll lose his wallet or keys or phone and is constantly checking. Lucas always steals the keys to freak him out. He (Matt) spends the entire evening keeping a tally on who is where and is def the one you want to be with at the end of the night because he will get you home safe. Acts almost like a teacher counting the children: does head counts and is all "meet at the van at half twelve. If you're late, we'll leave without you." Of course, Lucas is always purposely half an hour late or something and bc Matt's not actually going to leave him behind, the rest of them just collectively watch Matt lose his mind as Lucas saunters over at one o clock. Doesn't drink too much at parties/raves so is the designated driver and prefers getting drunk in the comfort of St. Cecelia's where he doesn't have to worry.

Nadia — lowkey scarily good at holding her alcohol. It's really hard to realise she's drunk and she'll often sit calmly to the side, watching the carnage her friends unleash. Gets super intense when actually drunk - tho bc she's quite intense anyway, it can be hard to notice. Will often tag-team with Lucas to steal something of Matt's. She and Lucas have an escalating bet to steal something bigger/more noticeable each time. Once, she accidentally punctured the church van's tire while trying to steal it and they had to hike back instead. Only she and Lucas know what really happened. She and Ivy get really competitive whilst playing drinking games and often have to be stopped, otherwise they'll carry on drinking bc no way are they loosing to the other. At the end of the night, she is usually found sitting at the side bitching to Peter, who is half asleep and nodding along like he'll remember it in the morning.

Jason — similarly to his sister, he can hold his alcohol pretty well, contrary to popular opinion, which is that he's a complete lightweight because the first time he ever got drunk was on two beers and he threw up on Tanya's shoes. But he's evolved since then. Likes going to parties/clubs with dark lights so he can dance with Peter - he lowkey likes drunk Peter who can't stop hanging off him. He likes to play drinking games with Tanya, though Lucas has been banned from joining in ever since he attempted to shave his own eyebrows off when he lost. Lucas and Jason often end up daring each other to do increasingly ridiculous things, tho Jason is better at cutting things off when it gets too intense. Jason's love language is definitely touch and this is even more apparent when he's drunk. Like him and Peter literally cannot stop holding hands - luckily for him, it's dark so nobody can really see and, if they do, it's just played off as a buddy system to stop the other getting lost. Watching Peter sleep in the van on the way home makes him super sleepy so it's all he can do to help Peter inside and into bed before he's asleep too. Often gets really bad hangovers so Peter will bring him breakfast and they'll eat together in bed, maybe make some excuse for missing church so they can stay there longer.

Ivy — signature drink is a vodka & cranberry and it's always the first drink she gets. Usually ends up in the bathroom vomiting at some point bc she loves to mix alcohol with different outcomes - with varying results. She invented her own cocktail when extremely drunk one night which consists of vodka, lemonade, tomato juice, and raspberries. It is absolutely disgusting and nobody else but Lucas (who got such a bad hangover when he tried it, he thought he saw God) will go anywhere near it but she will attempt to convince everyone every time. Giggles a lot when drunk and often gets super emotional. Once cried because Peter spilled his drink on the floor. She gets really loud and is def the one person you'd find on top of a table dancing - Peter would be cheering her on from the floor. The best at placating Matt (even before he started liking her) and persuading him to stay an extra hour or so at the party so the rest of the squad always send her in to convince him. Often wears heels when they go out and is scarily good at keeping her balance in them even while drunk.

Lucas — off the rails. You go out on a night with him and you could wake up with no shoes in Quebec in someone's swimming pool with no memory of what happened. He will literally try any drink you offer him and is always up for dares - to the point where Matt has to intervene bc he's straight up about to jump in the lake with a plastic bag on his head. Extremely fun and you'll def have a good time with him but, if not restrained, the good time could end with a visit to the police station. Has no impulse/self control when drunk and loves to wind Matt up by stealing keys/something that'll freak him out. Will always show up late to their prearranged meeting time to go home and will pretend he's serious about wanting to drive them home to wind Matt up even more. Gets awful hangovers and, if they have class/church the next day, can usually be found either in bed or sitting in class/church with sunglasses and a hoodie pulled right over his head. Last one to fall asleep, he could probably keep going all night.

General —

* The squad usually have one night out a week/two weeks depending on what's going on/where it is

* They can't use church van often as it'll get noticeable so seven times out of ten they'll go somewhere in walking distance or else Lucas will somehow know these lowkey kinda sketch ppl who'll give them a lift (Matt will be freaking out the entire time)

* they'll usually spend Friday nights out somewhere and then Saturday in the common room/someone's dorm/the grounds if it's warm enough

* Peter and Jason attend about 85% of these nights and will plead homework or illness at least once a month so they can spend the night together instead

* Nadia attends about 60% of these and is less likely to go when Peter and Jason don't go but Lucas always tries to persuade her so they can annoy Matt & play drinking games

* Ivy, Lucas, and Tanya literally always go, Matt tags along most times with them bc 'someone's got to make sure they get home'

* Once or twice, Matt has stayed behind and gone to pick Lucas, Tanya, and Ivy up at one instead

* Nadia and Matt sometimes hang out when the others go - they watch scary movies together in the common room - Nadia keeps picking increasingly scarier/gorier ones to see how long it'll take Matt to ask to turn it off but he hasn't cracked yet

Super long post so apologies for that lol, again, feel free to add on/let me know what you think!

[everyday-is-brighter-with-you]

CRYING IN THE (WINTER)CLUB

Before starting the ID I want to say there are some OC characters in this, and I’ve described their general appearance in this google doc for ref!

[ ID: Wide front view colored art drawn traditionally and colored digitally. Every character is in fullbody except Dr Habit whos drawn till above legs. In the scene many people are gathered out in the winter snow at a backyard. Snow falls everywhere. Overall pic is light blue toned. There is slight pale vignette around it.

Dr.Habit is looking away and wiping a tear, smiling. In the artists interpretation he has yellow fur, pink hair, stitches on hands, deep red nails.He wears long brown fur coat, big white knitted scarf, black fingerless gloves, black fur ushanka with orange fruits and green leaves design. Wears hair in a long plait. A dark grey maine coon leans into him.

Putunia is laying down, hands on cheeks making a ''ooo'' face in anticipation and glee. In the artists interpretation she has long dark brown curly hair. She wears a purple petunia shaped dress, blue pants, short brim straw hat with fake purple flowers,  thick yellow socks. Wears hair in big pigtails tied with pink bobble ties. She is looking at Lil Habby( the puppet) holding a fire gun to a melting chocolate bar, melting into a cup for making a drink. He wears the usual with a pink flower in hair. He has long thin simple shadow arms and legs here.

Marigold is sitting idle on the grass, looks curiously at snow on his petal hair, maybe even irritated. Near him on a pink cushy sofa with green highlights and little yellow flower designs sits Rose playing his flute eyes closed and legs kicking casually. In this picture his hair is longer. His hair tie rests on a sofa arm.

Behind him the Carlas are making a Snow Carla. Fortune Teller Carla is smiling and keeping a camellia on the snow figure. A red sleeveless dress and red gloves are drawn on her, wears hair in double buns with sparkling grey flower bands encircling buns, green eyeshadow. Another Carla laughs heartily, adding more snow.  A green buttoned dress with yellow ''fluff''  and striped brown cap with same fluff is drawn on her. The third Carla's face is away from viewer, she too is adding snow. A blue dress like Elsa's icy dress and a purple flower crown is drawn on her, though the cape is actually worn. The Snow Carla has one swirly eye dug in, a button eye with leaf lashes and branch eyebrow, carrot nose, red wax lips stuck on. From the camellia tree behind the red-clothed one, a pair of green cat eyes with thick brown brows stare.

Farther away on the other side Kamal is walking in, holding a half eaten pitha in hand while approaching. He holds a bag with a box saying ''To Kamal, with love''. In the artists interpretation his face is acne scarred. He wears a blue-black sweater, purple scarf, blue pants, brown winter shoes with white fluff at the top, one gold earring, frog shape chew necklace, hair is in a bun.

At the center Trevor is reaching up  with a stool and fiddling with a giant vibrating hot chocolate machine. He wears his usual coat with added blue jeans, red scarf with yellow and black stripes, leopard print heels, green goggles, mask for mouth, silver ear piercings. Hair is in a mullet and nails are sharp and black. The machine has a funnel streaming black smoke, and many bright devices on it. In the center of it is a radioactive symbol. On one side to its bottom is a part reading ''DEVIL MODE'' in allcaps with fire graphics, a big red button in a glass case is above it with a note that reads ''Never(underlined) touch'', stuck with a smiley face pin. There is a mounted fish figurine on one handle. The hot chocolate is fizzling over the brim.

Behind him a long table laiden with food is seen. There are swirl designs on the wood's sides. There are red and green apples, borscht, three colored drinks, yorsh, glintvein , 3 tier chocolate cake, shchi, cut open peaches, cut round bread, bowl with sweet bread cakes, three small buns, full breasted chicken in aluminium foil. Lily is looking over the table edge, grinning with the aim of stealing the cake.

There are plants around, a winter garden. In some places a green color overtakes the snow with grass growing. All over the yellow fence, to the left side, are huge clumps of winter jasmine.

To the horizon trees in blue-green shades with snow coverings are seen, closer and then farther and farther away. In that distance the silhouettes of Jimothan smiling and waving to Trencil, while dragging Parsley through the snow behind him are seen. Trencil stands and smiles, a little of his towering purple castle with red highlights, many turrets, visible.

end ID]

DESC UNDER CUT 

yisssss MFERS I made a winter piece before winter was FUCKING OVER sobsob

heres my yearly tribute to the season of nosebleeds cracked lips and flies aND SNOW!!!!!!!!(NOT WHERE I LIVE ;W;)

Also my birthdays really soon. Like next week soon

Ermmm ahffjd to talk a little about what I drew...hmmhfhg...well idk if the perspective( god i tried) makes this look different so ill just throw it out there thats Habits not looking at my sonaJDJVNJ hes looking away and crying due to found family feelings. Carlas doing some gay shit. Pabit+Putunia about to start a small localized natural disaster. I mean how else do u make hot choco without setting chocolate on fire tbh. Hotted chocolate. aNd YeS mY fAmIlY SeLf iNsErTs ArE ThErE tOo >:3. The machine will explode tommorow but its OK. They can make bath bombs from the carnage. Hrhggh I had a different idea but then my sis changed my HC so Im just gonna say Habit built it but with Trevors help hence the flashiness nd DEVIL MODE. Now that ive watched hlvrai i cant stop dropping references this series is so quotable .   Sawww those guys in the back? Honestly Trencils probably a winter person with the low light, fog and blocked sun.

---

EDIT: WELL MY BIRTHDAY GOT OVER AND JANUARY ALMOST TOO DAMN..GETTING OVER MY HEAPING ANXIETY AND POSTING

I dont Expect a lot of notes or anything but I suppose its alright, one of the important things to me is just archiving my art somewhere.

I know the IDs long but I’d recommend reading through if u also wanna like know the specifics of what I drew, OVER 15 PLANTS I THINK   I’d be flattered,

If you reblog with tags i’ll be happy though!!

[ID: The same drawing but with no editing- no vignette, snow overlay, blue overtone or color correction. end ID]

EDIT: Shortened the rlly long ID, but if someone wants to know the plants i drew under ‘winter garden’;  The flowers and plants visible at front are virginia rose, red chokeberry, snowdrops, a single frost covered rose, piers japonica in pots. To the middle inkberry, more snowdrops, colored hellebores patch,  glory of snow, black hellebores patch, pansies, cyclamens, yellow aconite, some more snowdrops. A little farther are two winterberry plants, a camellia tree, witch hazel, english primroses, staghorn sumac. 

[fmdjaewonarchive]

event post time lets goooooo. as usual, under the cut there will be some general ideas for event, pls like this post or slide into my ims/dscrd if u wanna plot! i’m trying to be as detailed as possible but like, there is a lot going on, this list probs won’t be exhaustive. i’m also open to p much anything so pls don’t feel limited to any of these plots!! im down for anything!!! either way, continue below the cut if u wanna know more ab what my kids are getting up to (any dates that arent specified i just... didn’t decide on anything and am open to Absolutely anything):

JAEWON: 

general: backstage at the concerts is v welcome for any of the days, just idk, hanging out, i’m tryna keep this v general. pros: jaewon is p proud for unity snatching one of the three closing performance slots, dimensions’ pride indeed. cons: he probably has his tits out, jaewon always has his tits out on stage, he rlly lives like this. anyone is allowed to feel whatever way he wants ab either of those two things.

dec 26: jaewon pulls a blue card cuz sexy pool montage of jaewon. ok im kidding (kinda). idk, kick his ass at games, team up w him to crush the competition,  drown his stupid ass, literally anything.

dec 26: so SOMEONE learned his lesson from the halloween party, no alcohol at the ball for him. come clown him w/ memories of that night (he sure doesnt have any) or idk, try to talk him into drinking (he won’t)

dec 26: in general, i think jaewon might forego most of the party, just find a quiet spot to hang out, look at the sea or some fake deep shit. if anyone is feeling up to it come hang out w him and, idk, reflect on the past year. it’s a time for realizing stuff. (the muse in question would have to b somewhat close to jaewon for this but like im always down to plot that out!)

dec 27: idk, jaewon will probably forego most of the traveling and exploring, opt for a calm day on board instead, anything re: that is super welcome.

dec 28: jaewon ends up in team red for the day so like, kitchen antics w/ jaewon. he’s a surprisingly good cook (shoutout to grandma park, the real og, for kicking this idiot into the kitchen since a young age)

dec 30: jaewon pulls blue again and... you’d think he wouldn’t be as disgruntled about it? someone pls kick his shins till he accepts going to the spa isn’t such a bad thing sir just relax for one (1) day it will Not kill you

YUANJUN: 

dec 26:  yuanjun pulls a yellow card cuz dancing king xiao yuanjun sure as hell is fucking involved in this god damn flashmob sUE ME. local enthusiastic dance teacher, will annoy anyone who Doesn’t Want To Be There into having fun and partaking, cutely messing around w people who are having a good time anything you need him to!

dec 26: in their free time after that he’ll def drag someone along to come explore the ship with him so like!!! will they get lost? possibly, but it will be Fun

dec 26: someone decorate sugar cookies w him at the holiday ball pLEASE

dec 27: yuanjun is DEFINTELY exploring the hecc out of taipei, grab dinner w him, go late night shopping w him, sightseeing, ANYTHING

dec 28: he pulls yellow again so you know how it is, photo session at the zoo, you just know he’s going to vibing so hard taking pictures of animals. whether they succeed or not i’m not decided on, im down for either way tbh

29 dec: YUANJUNS BDAY BITCHESSSSSS. ill probs write up an open ab this, but he’s !!!! going to be so annoying the entire day, he WILL be acting like bc has organized this entire thing Just for his 21st bday and u can’t stop him (you can try tho, feel free to attempt and burst his bubble). again, i’ll do a general open for this but if anyone wants to do anything specific for his bday let me kno uwu

30 dec: this time he ends up w a red card and he will be whining and pouting about his, he rlly has to clean up? the day after his birthday? preposterous how dARE they

31 dec: firework go boom and yuanjun WILL be endlessly fascinated by it, idk man why do we let him look at dangerous explosive things. this isn’t an idea but? it could be? i think? idk man

MINAH: 

general: someone that teams up w/ minah and makes a pact to try every restaurant on the ship at least once,,, good food is important okay

dec 26: minah pulls blue and... why do they expect her to play pool games? idk man she’s just going to be worried ab people cuz pls don’t drown children. also good luck if u are on a team w her for anything, you’ll probs lose

dec 26: someone,,, come make,,, gingerbread houses w minah,,, i just think it’d be neat,,, pls i need this

dec 26: minah will mourn not having like a classic christmas at home watching stupid movies and shit, someone that sets up some kind of small tradition w her at the ball to make up for it?

dec 28: minah pulls red and wow kitchen work w minah thats neat she knows how to cook this will be easy WRONG ur stuck w her and shes a huge control freak and will correct every little thing you do and jesus christ woman leave them ALONE they’re TRYING

dec 30: minah pulls red,,, again,,, and tbh this time she won’t be as annoying, just some therepeutic cleaning, if ur muse complains ab it tho she might lecture them. alternatively: ur muse pulled yellow and they think they’re being casual but minah calls them out cuz “hey i didnt see u around before have u been slacking???”

dec 31: minahs baby sister minji is attending the busan concert and minah will be over the moon about it, odds are she will chat ur muses’ ear off ab it backstage, sorry not sorry!

YENA:

general: first things first, yena doesn’t have a roommate yet so like,,, any female-presenting muses hit me UPPPP 

general: yena will be complaining backstage at the concerts tbh, she’s tryna celebrate a vacation here why does she have to WORK, does anyone really care to see gal.actic perform anyway?

dec 26: yena pulls red and has to help decorating which honestly she’ll enjoy but i also just need someone to playfully fuck around w her cuz yena doesnt Do excessive labor and instead decorate her in tinsel instead because yes, yena IS the main attraction here thank you

dec 26: yena WILL spend most of the holiday ball in the indoor pool, chilling in a jacuzzi w a glass of champagne or smth, real hot girl shit, you know how it is

dec 28: lucky queen pulls blue which means she gets to go shopping, it also means she’s going to try and scam someone into spending their money on buying her pretty things, whether she’s succesful or not

dec 30: this time. yena is on team yellow and she ends up later tagging along to the spa day and tbh, id like to think she’d do a pretty convincing job at it, acting queen nam yena pop off

dec 31: if u think yena will see the new year sober ur WRONG and truly u should know better, if there is any night she goes stupid crazy its this night just saying

jan 1: god she’s going to complain the living FUCK outta the day cuz of that god damn fansign, in part cuz shes hangover and part cuz ew who even is a gal.actic stan in 2020. either join her in her complaining or lecture her ab being thankful for fans or smth!

[dashuisofanubis]

Another ghost AU

Okay the premise for this one is sort of a what if they figured out Nina was the chosen one and performed the ritual, but its also an AU.

KT, Eddie and Willow move into a boarding house for the prestigious Ankh school. They notice there are a lot of awards and items in the school dedicated to a group of students.

It turns out that on the 7th of July, around 50 years ago, these 7 students were discovered dead. The cause was believed to be poisoning as the students were all from the same house and the two surviving students admitted to having skipped meals at the house that day. The house mother was arrested and sentenced for murder, despite rumours that she was innocent.

The truth of the tale is different:

An ancient Egyptian artefact was believed to have power beyond scientific knowledge, and, once assembled, was said to grant immortality. However, nature must maintain a balance, and for every life extended, another has to be cut short.

Despite all their research, the Secret Society were not aware of these consequences, or most likely were at some level but chose to ignore it. So, when the ritual took place and life was transferred, they had what they wanted, but at a cost.

The Immortals:

Victor Rodenmaar. Location unknown. Has been off the grid for 25 years after vanishing one night in the middle of the school year

Daphne Andrews. Still a teacher at Ankh. Taught many student's parents and has said she will retire next year for the past 20 years

Eric Sweet. Eddie's father, and a man he's always admired and looked up to. He's not what he seems, and is a lot older than Eddie believed.

Mercer, father to one of the lost students. Has realised immortality is not all it's cracked up to be. Having lost his wife 10 years ago, he lives a lonely life and regrets ever joining the society and offering up his daughter.

Jason Winkler. Joined due to degenerative illness, hoping this would be a cure. It was, and he lives a mostly happy life, when he can forget what part he played in the tragedy.

Doctor Delia. Now the CEO of the local hospital, she's experimented with her immortality, to see if there is a way to transfer part of her life to a patient. It took a lot of work, but 11 years ago, she finally had some success. 14 year old Sophia was fatally injured in a car crash, and Dr Delia used her blood in a transfusion, saving the girl.

Rufus Zeno is the final immortal. It was supposed to be Roebuck, but Rufus broke in and threatened the Chosen One, unless he got what he wanted. Wanting to save the girl, and being the only one who hadn't drunk from the cup, Roebuck sacrificed his chance.

(Had he known the girl would die anyway, it might have been different)

Rufus is out there, somewhere, and he's dangerous.

Back to the story:

(Idk what the plot really is but here goes)

The trio (Eddie, KT and Willow) discover the students used to live in Anubis House.

One night, they're playing truth or dare with their housemates: Stella, Marco, Anna, Raf and Peter. KT is dared to go down into the cellar, where she finds a secret panel. Behind it, she finds 7 balancing scales, an intricately decorated cup, and an empty bottle.

The scales have discs with names written on them. The names match those of the 7 students who died. However, the discs are only on one side of the scales, suggesting there were 7 more previously. KT takes the bottle to prove she went into the basement, and something compels her to take the discs as well, which she shows to Willow once they're back in their room.

They let Eddie know about it the next morning and the 3 begin to wonder if the students' deaths were really as they seemed.

Eddie is walking up the stairs when he trips on a loose floorboard. Annoyed, he goes to try and put it back into place when something catches his eye. It's a metal disc, tarnished with age. He cleans it up and sees the word Zeno printed on it.

He tells KT and Willow, and KT realises it must be from the scales she found. Something doesn't feel right, so they decide to investigate.

Eddie jokingly suggests they hold a seance, and despite Willows warnings, they do.

It doesn't seem to work.

The next day, Willow discovers an intruder in the house, someone who looks very similar to photos in the school...

Willow is unnerved but curious, so she says hey to them. They turn around, apparently spooked that someone can see them, and vanish.

Willow tells the others, who initially disbelieve her, but soon they come to meet the former residents of their boarding house.

The ghosts were obviously affected by their own deaths, and the fact that they're ghosts, but it's been 50 years now, so they're getting over it. They generally try to stay out of the students' ways, as they learnt that people generally freak out at the sight of ghosts.

They appeared as ghosts the same moment their lives transferred to the immortals, but were extremely weak and found it hard to keep themselves together. They were unable to dissipate completely though, something was keeping them there. They had to watch as Trudy was arrested; as their house was put out of action till an increase in students forced them to open it again 15 years later; as Victor still wandered the halls; as all the students came and grew and left while they were trapped in the house.

Unable to die, but unable to live.

Slowly, they began to gain more power, and for the past 10 years they've been able to hold a corporeal form for lengthening times, meaning they can actually do things and go places. They're capable of leaving the house for short distances and periods of time, though if they're out for too long they fade away and reappear back in the house with a killer headache.

They think (hope) this means the immortals are weakening, but it could just be they're getting used to the whole being dead thing.

Their lives were tied to the balancing scales and the person on the opposite side, so they each have some connection to an immortal

This means they get fleeting impressions/feelings from their immortal, which strengthens with their proximity.

Connected Immortal and Ghost:

Rodenmaar - Nina

Sweet - Fabian

Andrews - Amber

Delia - Alfie

Roebuck/Zeno - Jerome

Mercer - Joy

Winkler - Patricia

Amber gets the most impressions because Ms Andrews still teaches at the school

Nina and Jerome receive hardly any because both Zeno and Rodenmaar are unknowns

However, recently they've started getting fleeting emotions and visuals that aren't their own. The two missing immortals are becoming active and they're heading for the house.

The ghosts can't do much on their own so Eddie, KT and Willow have to be prepared to discover what these two immortals want and put a stop to it.

Eddie finds out that his dad was once Eric Sweet (he chose a different name after leaving the school, to distance himself), the former headmaster of the school and is horrified by the part he played in all this. A confrontation goes down.

There's a bit where they track down Mick and Mara, now in their 60s, and bring them back to Anubis House to reunite with their former housemates. It would be a really emotional scene because while most of them weren't close, you can't live in close quarters with people for a long time, without forming a bond. And when it ended so abruptly with no goodbyes...well.

They also track down the other immortals and bring them to the house to face their ghosts (literally). Ms Andrews regrets it immensely; Delia has no (some) regrets, but argues she's able to save many more lives this way, Jason is in denial.

Don't imagine immortal!Mercer finally seeing his daughter again, only she's a ghost and he caused her death. He's full of apologies, but they're all based around how he missed her, not how he cut her life short.

There would be a lot of regret and grief all round, and anger on the ghosts' part.

While Trudy probably wouldn't be alive after all this time, the trio and the ghosts want the immortals to clear her name.

Zeno and Rodenmaar arrive at the house. They're both searching for an ancient artefact hidden in the house.

(Is it the mask? Is it the Book of Isis? Robert Frobisher Smythe? Who knows? Not me.)

They also want to try and end the other because, why not. Grudges can last forever.

The trio also meet Sophia at some point, who is undergoing weird transitions as a result of the blood transfusion. Her body is fighting it while also trying to embrace it, and it causes her to randomly absorb life/energy from plants or other people. She can also transfer energy to other beings, but this causes her to collapse. She also still looks 14 when she should be in her 20s by now. The trio befriend her and try to figure out a cure.

While their existences are tainted with regret and bitterness, the ghosts still make their own fun. Sometimes they'll pull pranks on unsuspecting students, or just sit in the back of the class room to listen to the lessons like they're students again. They know for a fact Ms Andrews hasn't changed her curriculum in 50 years and can now recite her lessons by heart. They also like to play games in the house like tag or hide and seek, and they will admit its more fun when you can phase through walls.

When they reveal themselves to the trio, they enjoy tormenting them, but also help them with their games nights, charading the answers behind the other 5s backs. Everyone's had near misses with the 5, but somehow they remain oblivious to the SEVEN GHOSTS living in their house. But then again everyone else is oblivous to the fact the 5 are on some Arthurian quest.

I don't know how this story would end, but the best outcome is that they fight Zeno and Rodenmaar, and some truth comes out that Rodenmaar has discovered a way to reverse what was done and needs an artefact from the tunnels to conduct the ritual. Zeno, meanwhile has discovered another ritual that would give him the power from the other immortals to essentially make himself a god.

Naturally, both are trying to stop the other from achieving their goals.

Initially, KT, Eddie, Willow and the ghosts (and Sophia) attempt to stop both parties, but when they discover Victor's plan they work to take down Zeno. Once he's subdued (taken down by Sophia draining his energy), they summon the other 5 immortals.

Some of them take some convincing, but others are all too ready to give up this immortal life. They get time to tie off loose ends. Ms. Andrews hands in her resignation, Delia entrusts someone (Sophia?) with her work, Mercer has a long talk with his daughter, Eric has an even longer talk with his son. Victor spends his time in Anubis House, telling the kids his story and apologising for taking so long to fix his mistake.

Eventually, the ritual takes place, and the next day sees 7 new students enrolled who look uncannily like the students in the pictures.

(It takes them a while to adjust to the fact they can't walk through walls anymore)

[avocadolouie]

FIC

I was tagged by @onlyforthebravee to do this thing about my fics which I'm super excited about because I too love talking about my fics

FANDOMS:

1d/larry

TROPES:

um i’ve done reverse fake relationship, famous/nonfamous, movie/tv/book/song adaptation, kid fic, crack fic, doctor fic, and loads of annngsstttttt

NUMBER OF FICS:

10

FIC I SPENT THE MOST TIME ON:

hands down it was all we can do is keep breathing. that monster is 310k! so ridiculous...

FIC I SPENT THE LEAST TIME ON:

I think it was my first parenting volume, cuz I just had an idea and wrote it whether it made sense or not (it didn't but that's the beauty of crack fic)

LONGEST FIC:

you already know: all we can do is keep breathing (310,000)

SHORTEST FIC:

so...how’s parenting going? vol. I: the case of the imaginary friend (8,370)

MOST HITS/KUDOS/COMMENT THREADS/BOOKMARKS:

Most Hits: fake it till we make it (59,201)

Most Kudos: fake it till we make it (1,698)

Most Comments:  all we can do is keep breathing (686)

Most Bookmarks: fake it till we make it (1,161)

TOTAL WORD COUNT:

811,596 what the fuck dude....WILD

FAVORITE FIC I WROTE:

all we can do is keep breathing cuz I put my whole heart into that one and held nothing back. but special mention to my 13 going on 30 au cuz I love her too

FIC YOU WANT TO REWRITE/EXPAND ON:

well I've got a few ideas for my parenting series that I want to eventually do. Ive started working on a Charlie/niall spinoff to go with all we can do is keep breathing because I promised @rosesau and I WILL do it! I also have an angsty outline for a sequel to that same fic but that's a whole other story that idk I have the strength for. 

SHARE A BIT OF A WIP OR A STORY IDEA YOU’RE PLANNING ON:

*here's a little blurb of something totally different that I may never finish because it makes me so fucking tired and emotional and sad but I can't get over it*

“We were just kids...we—I mean...it was never...” Louis can’t even finish his sentence and there is so much locked away emotion in his eyes as though he could start crying at any minute. He scrubs a rough hand over his wavering face, letting out a heavy breath. “Fuck…”

“Ten years, Louis. I searched for you for ten fucking years. I looked for you everywhere I could think of. I never stopped, I promised you that I would never stop.”

Louis is shaking his head and looking at him like he can’t take any more of this, like every word fallen from Harry’s mouth physically pains him to no end. The wideness and vulnerability of his stormy, thundering eyes transforms his entire face. “Harry…H, please—you have to stop. You have to leave, you shouldn’t be here—I can’t be here with you.”

There’s a look of sheer, genuine panic in Louis’ eyes, terror drowning his voice and it makes Harry pause, concern spiking his bloodstream. It may have been ten years since they’ve last seen each other, but Harry can still read Louis like a book. The fear coating his expression

“What? Louis, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” Every instinct Harry has is urging him to pull Louis back into his arms and soothe him, hold on to him and never let go again.

“It’s complicated ok…” Louis tries weakly, demeanor crumbling as he lowers his gaze. His hands are ceaselessly trembling, so he stuffs them down into his pockets.

“Complicated.” Harry echoes, voice empty.

“Yes—I…I don’t have time to explain everything. I—” Louis looks over his shoulder again, getting more jittery by the second. He looks so unhinged, on edge like he hasn’t been able to let his guard down in ages. The closer Harry looks at him, the more cracks seem to appear in his seemingly polished exterior. Heavy, dark bags weigh down his once bright eyes, worry lines every last crease of his face. “He’s…he’s going to be looking for me any minute now. If he sees me with you—Harry, you have to leave.”

“What?” Harry shakes his head at a loss, willing Louis to explain what is going on to him. In his mind he has played over how their reunion over and over again and it has never amounted to this. Never amounted to Louis recoiling from him, acting like a distant stranger and not the love of Harry’s life.  “Louis, what’s going on? Who are you talking about?”

Louis’ gaze is still cast behind him over his shoulder, but he turns his attention back to Harry briefly and every single thing about his gaze is confusing. Terrifying even.

“My husband.”

---

what a walk down memory lane lmao and now ill tag: @rosesau @pocketsunshineharry @leedsau @goldbootsandvans @gloriaandrews and any other writers because I can't remember urls and I'm sorry about it 😭