#ill get to the talent swap requests in a bit

[lara-cairncross]

coping !

[springtimemultishipper]

Komanami Week Day 5: Talent-Swap

Summary | Nagito Komaeda is finally allowed to leave the walls of his castle and attend Hope’s Peak Academy. But, there’s a price. To make sure that he’s protected while at the academy, he is assigned a bodyguard to be by his side during his studies. Luckily for him, his bodyguard just happens to be a very cute girl…

❥ Pairing | Nagito Komaeda x Chiaki Nanami

★ Word Count | 3,913 words

@c0rrupted-mov

*So…I kinda broke my promise about this being out right after Day 4, and I’m really sorry about that! I ended up getting sick and I didn't have the motivation at the time to write. The universe really doesn’t want me to do this, huh? Well, fuck you illness! I’ve made a commitment and I’m going to see it through! So, this is Day 5 of Komanami Week where I chose Talent-Swap, instead I didn’t switch Nagito’s and Chiaki’s talents. I swapped everyone’s talents! So, now we have an Ultimate Swordswoman Chiaki Nanami and an Ultimate Prince Nagito Komaeda! Why? Because I like the idea of Nagito simping while Chiaki kicks ass. I personally think I made Nagito have a bit of Adrien Agreste and Makoto vibes in this one, but it’s fine! He does have a completely different talent after all. So, yeah, without further ado, grab some snacks and enjoy! And again, sorry for errors.*

“Lady Tsurugi, may I speak with  you?” a boy with hair as white as snow asked, approaching from the grand stone hallway of the palace. He was fidgeting slightly as he kept his gray eyes on the royal advisor, biting his lip.

“Prince Nagito, please stop biting your lip,” Tsurugi said. “You’re going to draw blood. But, of course. What is it you wish to speak with me about?”

Nagito immediately stopped doing so, and stood up straight as he took a deep breath. “It’s about my request, Lady Tsurugi. The Hope’s Peak Academy entry letter.”

“Ah…” Tsurugi nodded. “You’re wishing to know what I say about it now that I’ve had some time to think, yes?”

Nagito nodded eagerly. “If that’s not a problem. Have you made your decision about allowing me to attend school there?”

Tsurugi sighed. “Yes, I have. I know you’ve been in the palace for the majority of your life, Your Highness. I can tell that you’re desperate for a chance to leave and gain a bit of independence.”

“Y-Yes…but I understand if you’re not going to allow me to go,” Nagito said, eyes darting away from her face as he messed with the sash around his torso. “In case…something happens while I’m studying and you can’t protect me…”

“On the contrary,” Tsurugi smiled. “I’ve decided that I will allow you to go to Hope’s Peak Academy.”

“Ah…” Nagito’s eyes widened. He was completely prepared to bargain and beg for the chance to go to the prestigious academy. He wasn’t expecting it to be this easy! “R-really? Are you sure, Lady Tsurugi?”

Tsurugi nodded, a warm smile on her face. “Yes…I’ve thought about it and I decided that it would be healthy for you to be able to communicate with others your own age. And considering that the students of Hope’s Peak are at the same social standing as you, I figured that this is a perfect opportunity.”

Nagito just stood there, his jaw dropping for a moment before speaking again. “Forgive me. I’m utterly grateful for your generosity, Lady Tsurugi, but…I thought you claimed that you’re not going to do anything that you feel disrupts my safety. I thought that you were going to definitely refuse to let me go.”

“Well, let’s say I found a compromise for us,” she said, turning her attention to a computer in front of her. “I could send one of the maids to travel with you and live with you to make sure that you’re not living by yourself. As for school, I’ve found someone who can act as your bodyguard when at Hope’s Peak.”

“A bodyguard?” 

Tsurugi nodded. “She got into Hope’s Peak as the Ultimate Swordswoman and has experience with guarding the most important people in Japan. So, I spoke with her family and requested that she accompany you when at school.”

“The Ultimate Swordswoman?” Nagito rested his chin on his hand. “She sounds like she’s rather experienced…what’s her name?”

“Chiaki Nanami. She’s apparently a rather quiet girl and her family is worried about her being able to fit in with her classmates. So, they’re grateful that you’ll be there with her. You two could possibly become friends. So, I’ll allow you to go to Hope’s Peak Academy as long as you find this girl and allow her to work as your bodyguard. Does that sound like a fair trade, Your HIghness?”

Nagito nodded immediately. “Absolutely! To spend time with such a talented swordswoman! Why, someone as lowly as me doesn’t deserve the honor!”

Tsurugi deadpanned at him. “Your Highness…you’re literally the future king of an entire kingdom…but, I’m pleased to see you being so agreeable with my terms.” A small smile appeared on the royal advisor’s face as the prince happily skipped away to prepare. 

…

Nagito smiled as he recalled how Lady Tsurugi was generous enough to allow him to attend Hope’s Peak Academy and finally be able to go to school like any normal teenager. It was just too kind of her! And now…he was here. Standing in front of the door to his new classroom. His smile widened as he felt his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn’t believe it! He was actually here! Behind this door…was his new class with a bunch of talented teenagers that were going to be his classmates. He could hardly wait.

He brushed the dust off of his black tailcoat vest before reaching towards the door, sliding it open with one movement of his hand. He walked inside and…

“Ah!” A girl with red hair wearing a green kimono turned towards the door as soon as Nagito entered. “Another new student!”

Nagito felt heads turn towards him as he walked into the room. Most of the students that were sitting in the classroom wore the brown Hope Peak’s school uniform although there were a few exceptions such as the girl in the kimono. Some of the students had done something similar to Nagito where they added their own personal touches to the uniform, such as a brown-haired boy wearing an olive green jacket and headphones. Nagito looked around at all the students in the room. They seemed to be full of talent and radiated a powerful aura of hope that almost seemed intimidating. It made Nagito eager to talk to all of them.

The teacher, an orange-haired woman wearing a tank top underneath a long blue coat, smiled at Nagito. “Hello there! Are you one of my new students?”

Nagito nodded. “Yes. My name is Nagito Komaeda. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

The woman gave him a warm smile. “Pleasure to meet you too, Komaeda. I’m your teacher, Miss Yukizome. Let’s see…where to put you. Ah! Why not sit over at the empty desk in front of Hinata?” Miss Yukizome gestured over to a desk in front of the boy with the headphones, who was currently absorbed in the video game he had in his hand.

Nagito nodded. “Very well then.” With that, he walked over towards the desk at the back of the classroom and sat down. With a friendly smile, he turned around to the boy with the headphones. “Hello. It’s very nice to meet you. You’re, Hinata, right?”

The boy lifted his head up to look at him before nodding. “Yep. I’m Hajime Hinata. The Ultimate Gamer. Uh, Komaeda, right?”

Nagito nodded before bowing his head slightly. “Yes, I’m Nagito Komaeda, the Ultimate Prince! I do hope that we’re able to become good friends.”

Hajime nodded slowly, staring at Nagito with a blank expression. “Yeah, that would be nice. But…there’s no need to bow…”

“Oh!” Nagito immediately lifted his head up, his cheeks turning a pale pink. “My apologies.”

“Oh!” Nagito immediately lifted his head up, his cheeks turning a pale pink. “My apologies.”

“Okay…” Miss Yukizome suddenly called out, looking down at a clipboard. “Looks like nearly everyone is here. Let’s see…all we have left is Chiaki Nanami.”

Nagito immediately turned around when he heard that name, like a hound dog when food arrives. The Ultimate Swordswoman. The girl that’s supposed to protect him. When is she going to come into the classroom? Nagito began to stare intensely at the door, waiting for it to open.

“Oh, I ran into Nanami earlier!” A girl with multi-colored streaks in her hair and a leotard under her blazer said. “She was totally in the zone! Even a massive bomb falling out of a sky wouldn’t break her focus! It’s so cool!!”

Miss Yukizome sighed. “Well, I suppose I’ll have to go and get her then,” she said, but before she could even leave from the podium, Nagito raised his hand.

“If you want, Miss Yukizome, I can find Nanami for you,” Nagito said. “After all, we wouldn’t want to delay class any further than necessary. So, it may be easier if I go get her myself.”

She considered it for a moment before nodding. “Well, alright. Try not to take too long now, okay?”

“Of course,” he nodded as he stood up and left the classroom. The previously bustling hallways were now nearly empty with most of the students already in their classrooms. With the help of a map of the layout of the academy, Nagito made his way to the school’s dojo, heart fluttering in excitement as he tried to picture what Chiaki Nanami was like. Was she cool and serious? Aggressive and bloodthirsty? Noble and daring? Millions of possibilities danced in his head as he approached the dojo and opened the door.

The walls and floor of the dojo was made out of dark wood that seemed to give the room a mysterious and traditional feel to it. Nagito could feel the floorboards creaking underneath his feet as he stepped inside the dimly lit room. Painted on a screen near the back was a beautiful scene of a dark night sky with gentle sakura trees standing on the sides of a stone-textured sidewalk, their gentle petals falling and covering it. And that’s where she was, wearing a white kendo uniform. 

She knelt in front of the screen, her back facing Nagito. She didn’t even seem to notice him as she faced straight ahead, deep in her concentration. Nagito took a cautious step towards the mysterious girl. As he got even closer, suddenly, like an animal sending danger, she spun around. Nagito felt something long and wooden jab the air right beside him, barely missing his head by mere inches.

He looked down at the petite girl, who was studying him with a curious look on her face. Her  pale mauve hair that was tied into a bun with two strands framing her face. Holding her bun in place was a hot pink ribbon that was tied into a bow at the back of her head. Her sleepy-looking pale pink eyes observed him with a quiet tranquility, as if she didn’t have a bamboo sword nearly pressing against his neck.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, with Nagito keeping a close eye on the bamboo sword at the edge of his neck. Until finally, the girl put her sword down and spoke in a soft voice. “Sorry…you scared me.”

‘You were scared?’ he thought. She didn’t look that scared when she nearly attacked him, but he decided to not comment about it. Instead he smiled awkwardly and rubbed his head. “It’s alright. I’m just simply glad that I didn’t lose my head. Uh, I take it you are Chiaki Nanami?”

She nodded. “That’s right. And you are?”

Nagito bowed. “I’m Nagito Komaeda. The Ultimate Prince. It’s an honor to finally meet you, Lady Nanami.”

Chiaki stared at him with a blank expression on her face and stayed silent for several moments. Nagito felt his face burning up. ‘Goddammit, all to hell! She’s not saying anything! Why did I do the bowing thing again?! She must be thinking that I’m acting really odd right now! This is mortifying…’

He quickly got up and placed his hands firmly to his side. “Er, apologies for that! I’m…not really used to interacting with people my age.”

Chiaki shrugged. “It’s alright. I figured as much. Sorry for not responding…I’m just not really used to people bowing for me…so, you’re the prince that I’m supposed to be guarding?”

Nagito rubbed his head. “Y-yes…sorry for inconveniencing you with this task.”

She shook her head and smiled. “No worries. It’s actually quite an honor to be protecting a prince. I’ve actually never done that before. Besides, most of the people I protect are older than me, so it’s nice to actually be the bodyguard of someone my own age.”

“Is that so?” Nagito smiled. “Well then, I hope we get along. Ah, by the way, class had already started. I was sent by our teacher to come and get you.”

“Oh…” Chiaki looked surprised before she lowered her head. “My apologies. I tend to lose track of time when meditating. I’ll go get changed and we can head to the classroom.”

He nodded as Chiaki walked by him. “Very well then. I shall wait here until you’re ready.”

She went into the locker rooms to change. Meanwhile, Nagito placed a hand on his heart, sighing in relief. Thank goodness that his first meeting with Chiaki went well despite him bowing to her. He smiled to himself. She seemed like a lovely girl, and he hoped that they could become good friends in the future.

After a few moments of waiting, Chiaki came out of the locker rooms wearing her school uniform except instead of wearing the blazer, she wore a black shawl with a pink stripe on the bottom that matched her ribbon. Black fingerless gloves rested on her hands while tall black boots encased her legs. On her back, there was a pink sheath-like bag with a white ribbon tied at the end, which is most likely where she kept her sword.

“I see you like the color pink,” Nagito said, attempting to start up a conversation.

“Yeah,” Chiaki nodded. “I think it’s a pretty color though…people sometimes get surprised when I tell them. I guess it’s because pink’s not a color typically associated with a swordswoman.”

“Honestly, that’s a shame,” Nagito said, sighing. “I don’t understand how people can be shocked by someone liking a color because it doesn’t seem to “fit” them, whatever that’s supposed to mean. I think it’s a pleasant-looking color. It looks nice on you, Lady Nanami.”

“…thanks…” Chiaki said after a moment's hesitation before walking towards the classroom. Nagito followed after her, mentally facepalming at what he had just said. He was coming off as creepy, wasn’t he? Why was talking to people so hard?

“I-I apologize for my comment…” he said. “I’m just realizing that it may have sounded really…awkward…”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, shaking her head. “It just caught me off guard. That’s all. Besides, it was sweet of you to compliment me, and I know you weren’t being weird when you said it. Try not to be so hard on yourself, Your Highness.”

“Y-your Highness?” Nagito repeated, his voice cracking slightly.

“Yeah…?” Chiaki turned around, tilting her head slightly. “You’re a prince, right? So, if I’m going to be working for you then I should respect your status.”

“N-no!” Nagito shook his head. “Please, no need for formalities. I would much prefer you calling me Komaeda. I’m a regular student just like you, so I would like to be treated like one.”

Chiaki nodded. “Understood. Sorry, Komaeda.”

With that, the two arrived at the classroom and went inside. Miss Yukizome looked up from what she was writing on the board and smiled at them. “Ah, you must be Nanami! Welcome! I’m your new teacher, Miss Yukizome. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Hi,” Chiaki waved. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

Miss Yukizome nodded and turned to Nagito. “Thank you for bringing her here, Komaeda. Okay, there should be an empty seat next to Tsumiki. You can sit there, Nanami.”

Chiaki nodded and went over to sit next to a girl with choppy plum hair and some hamsters on her shoulders. Nagito made his way back to his seat in front of Hajime and the lesson began.

Nagito found himself being engaged throughout the whole day. He couldn’t understand why some of his classmates were complaining about some of the topics that they were learning. He found them extremely interesting, but perhaps it’s because he never had an experience like this, unlike the rest of his classmates. For the majority of the day, Nagito alternated his time between Hajime and Chiaki, wanting to learn more about them. During their conversations, Nagito learned about how the two each got their Ultimate titles. Apparently, Hajime got his Ultimate title due to a gaming competition he won when he was in elementary and Chiaki got hers from being able to beat multiple grown men in kendo matches. As they explained their stories, Nagito found himself hooked on every word, unable to believe that such amazing and talented people were talking to him.

Eventually, the school day ended and Nagito grabbed his bag and began to leave the classroom. As he walked towards the door, he heard a familiar soft voice from behind him. “Komaeda…”

He turned around to see Chiaki walking towards him. “Yes? Do you need something, Nanami?”

Chiaki shook her head. “I was just wondering if you wanted to walk home together. If my job is to be your bodyguard, then shouldn't I be by your side most of the time? Besides, this also gives us the opportunity to learn a bit more about each other.”

Nagito didn’t even hesitate before nodding his head. “Of course. It would be an honor to walk home with you, Lady Nanami.”

“Why are you calling me ‘Lady Nanami?’” Chiaki asked as they began to walk out of the classroom.

“Hm?” Nagito glanced at her. “Why, it’s a sign of respect. You’re a student of this prestigious academy after all, so I should address you accordingly. Besides, I address many of the high-ranking women in my kingdom as ‘Lady.’”

Chiaki crossed her arms and frowned. “So, you get to call me ‘Lady’, but I can’t call you ‘Your Highness.’ Seems a little hypocritical, Komaeda.”

Nagito chuckled. “Why, it isn’t hypocritical at all. You got into this academy for being such a talented swordswoman, after all. You proved yourself worthy of the title of the Ultimate Swordswoman, and the school addressed your amazing skills. I would consider that deserving of high respect. Meanwhile, with me…I only got into Hope’s Peak because I was a prince. There wasn’t any talent or work put into me being here.” Nagito frowned slightly and moved his gaze to his walking feet. “You’re far more deserving of being a student here than I am, so I want to show you the respect that you deserve, Lady Nanami. The only respect that I received is because I’m a prince, which is an insult towards you. That’s all.”

Chiaki stayed silent for a moment, seemingly deep in thought. As he opened the academy’s doors, Nagito wondered if she was now taking in what he had said and was now deciding to spend her time with people that are just like her. Who got into Hope’s Peak because they proved that they deserved to be called the most talented people in Japan.

“Komaeda, I-” Before Chiaki could even finish her sentence, they could hear yelling up ahead. They looked over at the entrance gates of Hope’s Peak. Two guys were yelling at each other, arguing as they shoved at each other. 

“Huh? What’s going on?” Nagito asked as his eyes widened at the scene before him.

“They’re having a fight…” Chiaki replied, pointing out the obvious.

“I can see that, but why?” Nagito quickly ran over to where the boys were fighting. “Hey! What are you two doing?”

The two guys stopped arguing for a moment and turned to glare at Nagito. “None of your damn business!” One of them scowled. “Run along and forget you saw anything!”

Nagito felt his knees tremble slightly as the guy glared down at him. His muscular frame completely cast a shadow over Nagito’s skinny one. His eyes leered down at him, like a predator eyeing its prey before it pounced. Nagito gulped, but he stood his ground and continued talking.

“W-well…you shouldn’t be fighting in front of the school’s entrance. Someone could get hurt! Please, isn’t there a way we could peacefully solve the issue at hand?”

“What are you? Some kind of pick-me who thinks that their presence alone can easily get anyone to listen?” The other guy snarled, rolling his eyes.

“N-no! That’s not-“ Nagito couldn’t even finish his sentence as he felt the first guy grab his vest and pulled him close to his face.

“Looks like someone needs to learn to mind his own business,” he grinned maniacally. “And I’m glad to be the teacher…”

Nagito felt cold sweat dripping down his forehead as he stared into those bloodthirsty eyes. He was petrified as he watched the guy clench his fist, ready to punch his lights out. Nagito shut his eyes, bracing himself for the impact of the fist to meet his pale face.

“Let him go.” Nagito gasped as the soft voice of Chiaki Nanami spoke from behind him. He opened his eyes and glanced back to see Chiaki holding her bamboo sword with a calm yet baleful gaze. “He has nothing to do with your fight, so please let him go.”

The second guy snorted. “What? You expect me to listen to you, sweetheart? You may look cute and all with your little sword, but you don’t scare me.”

Chiaki’s gaze hardened. “Let him go…I would rather not have to knock someone out.”

Both of the boys looked at each other before bursting out into laughter. “Or else what?” The first asked.

“You really think you could knock us out?!” The second guy taunted. “I’d like to see you try.”

Chiaki closed her eyes and remained silent for a moment. Her hair cast a shadow over her face, so Nagito couldn’t properly read her expression. Finally, after moments of the only sound being the two guys laughing, a small smirk appeared on her face.

“I tried to warn you…”

And just like that, Chiaki leapt at the two guys. Nagito couldn’t even see when she had striked. One minute, he was being held in the air by the first guy and the next, he was on the ground, staring at the sight in front of him. The two guys fell to the ground, knocked unconscious as Chiaki stood over them, placing her bamboo sword in her sheath. Nagito was left speechless as he knelt on the ground, trying to process what happened.

Chiaki smiled sweetly as she looked down at the two unconscious boys. “No fighting on school grounds.” She then bent over and grabbed each of their left arms before looking up at Nagito.

“Best not to be so naive next time, Your Highness,” she said, a teasing look in her eyes. “I can’t be knocking people out each time you try to stop a fight.”

Nagito didn’t say anything. Instead, he just stared at Chiaki, his jaw dropping. She walked past him, dragging the two guys behind her with zero struggle, as if they weighed nothing to her. “I’ll go take these two to the nurse’s office now. It would be cruel to leave them out here after I knocked them out. Please wait for me, Your Highness.”

With that, Chiaki left, leaving Nagito on the ground like an idiot. He could feel his heart racing as he thought back to how Chiaki looked standing over the two boys she knocked out. The graceful way her hair, shawl, and skirt fluttered against the wind. The confident way she stood, making her seem taller than she really was. The way that she balanced herself by gently stepping on one of the guy’s backs, careful not to hurt him any further. He felt his whole body heat up as he came to the realization…that was attractive…really attractive. Nagito was suddenly glad that Chiaki had left because she couldn’t see the heavily infatuated grin that was now resting on his face.

He made a mental note to heavily thank Lady Tsurugi for this whole arrangement when he got back…

[dadsbongos]

I beg of thee to give us more antag reader x Hajime stuff, maybe one where he finds out the reader’s reasons behind being such an ass. What that reason is up to you but I want mor depth to this character <3

sooo hajime doesn’t really have a clear pic to her motives :( but we get one :))

Request for: Hajime Hinata Warnings: gore, brief descriptions of face swapping, spoilers, mental disorder (god complex), sort of a mental breakdown(?) she loses her self of identity for a bit, also make no mistake just because this is the postgame time DOES NOT mean i’m done with antag reader - she is the light of my life rn ~~~

Her eyes trained on the way Junko Enoshima’s photographed face curled up and charred in the fire. Countless magazines already turned to ash with even more sitting beside her in a box waiting to be disposed of in the flames.

Despite the shoddy campfire built in front of her, the beachy night air still caused a series of shivers to ring up her body. She should’ve been somewhat used to it by now - and if not, then she might as well hurry to get used to it. She and the other survivors had to wait for everyone else to wake up before leaving anyway.

She wanted Mikan to wake up first, against every part of her knowing it wouldn’t happen, she wanted it so bad.

(Y/n) didn’t like looking into her reflection, spotting the scars over small patches of skin where she’d tried a makeshift skin graph of Junko’s face onto her own. Bringing up a hand, (Y/n) traced her middle and ring fingers over the small, abstract shapes she’d carved off and replaced with Junko’s fair skin.

Hopefully, Mikan would see the tiny light of good inside (Y/n) and help her get her face to 100% hers. But it was unlikely. She’d been incredibly rude to all her island mates, Mikan was no exception.

Sadly, not even the Ultimate Copycat could perform a skin graph as perfectly as she needed...

Besides, who was the Ultimate Nurse - not a psychiatrist - trying to fool acting like a psychoanalyst all of the sudden? Creeping inside (Y/n)’s head and trying to diagnose her with something so ridiculous as a God complex. 

Absurd.

It wasn’t complex. She was just better than the others. 

Mikan didn’t know what she was talking about. Neither did Sonia. Or Makoto or Kyoko or her parents. They were all morons to doubt her. She was great. She was better than them and she’d prove it. She’d already proven it.

She was the Ultimate Copycat - nothing complex about her ability to be all things at once.

Goes to show what Mikan knows. That little murderer.

She was fine. She was healthy. It’s like mother always said, “a perfect lady has perfect health” and mental health was included, right? Of course, it was, and (Y/n) was perfect. She was fine. She was healthy. She wasn’t mentally fucking ill.

She was fine.

Her hand dashed into the box at her side, gripping three fashion magazines in her hand and tossing them into the fire.

The sound of crunching sand rang out behind her, followed by a voice, “It’s late. Sonia’s worried about you.”

“Tell Sonia I’m fine,” she grumbled, not bothering to look back at Hajime as he approached her. When his footsteps only progressed closer, she huffed, “Didn’t you hear me, Kamufuck?”

“I heard you, I just don’t care,” Hajime sighed, taking a seat beside the girl and grabbing from her box of magazines to toss one in and watch Junko Enoshima burn up, “Tell her yourself when you go inside. And stop calling me that.”

“As if I’d listen to you.”

“Imposter’s woken up, he’s getting some food and water, that’s why the others sent me out here,” he looked up at the sky, “But it is also getting dark out,” he leaned back on his hands, “Not sure why they thought you’d listen.”

Izuru Kamukura - Hajime Hinata - whatever his name was, made her nervous. He had all the talents one could ever dream of. She could copy almost anything, but… he just had them readily available. 

It was disgusting. She earned her right into Ultimate-status, he got it jammed into his brain by bullshit “scientists”. If anything, he was the one with a problem.

Not (Y/n). She was fine.

“I’ll greet him later.”

She stood, grabbing the box and beginning to walk away, leaving Hajime to put out the fire she started.

Ultimate Servant suited him more than her anyway.

[lyricsaboutcats]

Datamining Andromeda: Humans

We’re getting closer to the end of this series! We’re going to dig around Mass Effect Andromeda’s files for information about the human characters. Some of them have summaries and biographies hidden inside the game files for the developers to use.

Previous posts:

Datamining Andromeda: Asari Datamining Andromeda: Salarians Datamining Andromeda: Turians Datamining Andromeda: Krogan

When it comes to the humans, many minor NPCs have summaries while major characters such as Liam, Addison, and Gil do not.

Warning: There are spoilers ahead!

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Major Human Characters:

Cora Harper Cora Harper is a human soldier who trained with mysterious asari commandos. Talented and smart, Harper is a consummate professional who finds herself always looking for a trusted mentor to give her guidance and a path in life. She was a close friend of the Player's father--as close as anyone got--and can give insight into him even after his passing. Harper is a woman of few words: in a pinch, she prefers to let a bit of deadpan humour or a well-placed shot do the talking.

Suvi Anwar Suvi Anwar is the Tempest's resident science officer. A brilliant physicist, she was recommended for the Pathfinder Initiative, and jumped at the chance to explore the wonders of a new galaxy. Initially attached to the NEXUS as part of the team responsible for the data collection and analysis of the conditions in the Heleus Cluster, Suvi campaigned to become part of the Pathfinder's scouting team, in order to expand her investigation of the cluster. Excitable, may occasionally talk to herself. Brain goes fast, mouth runs to keep up.

Harry Carlyle Harry is initially the team doctor on the Pathfinder team, but then swaps job with Lexi. Harry remains on the Hyperion and helps watch over the sibling. Harry is in his late 40s, easy-going, and game for anything.

Ryder Sr. Father of the player character. Tough, no nonsense ex-soldier-turned-Pathfinder.  He's a commanding presence.

Ellen Ryder Ellen Ryder is the wife of Alec Ryder, the original human Pathfinder who dies in M1 (and mother of player characters, Scott and Say).  Ellen met Alec when he was doing his N7 training on Earth.   Ellen was a scientist involved in the early stages of human biotic research, delving into the use of implants as a way of harnessing biotic abilities. At the time, this was very primitive and often dangerous work.  Alec and Ellen married, but he was then deployed to the First Contact War, leaving Ellen as something of a soldier's wife, moving around wherever Alec was posted. Next up was the Citadel, where Alec was ambassador and Ellen raised their two children, Scott and Sara for a number of years on the station. On the Citadel, Ellen found new horizons opening up in her field, with the galactic knowledge of biotics far in advance of the work she'd been doing on Earth. But there was a dark side too. Ellen experienced the onset of a serious degenerative disease. Its root cause could be traced back to her early work on biotics on Earth, at a time when the danger of exposure to eezo was little understood.  Because her illness was so rare, there was no known cure. The family moved back to Earth to care for her and Alec devoted himself to developing SAM as a way of curing her.  Alec enlisted Ellen in the project, and together they leveraged her knowledge of implants, melding it with Alec's understanding of A.I. The project consumed Alec, and he became a distant and aloof figure to both his wife and children. Whereas Ellen tried to put on a brave face and remain a committed mother - she eventually ended up the de facto "single parent" in place of their mostly absent father. Despite her disease, she remained a loving and committed mother, caring deeply about her two children. Eventually, her condition worsened to the point where it was too late, death was inevitable. She was willing to accept this, but Alec was not.  He loved her too much.  Despite their sometimes rocky relationship they still felt passionate about each other, even to the very end.

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Mysterious Benefactor

Race: Human A character in the Alec Ryder memory flashbacks. This is the Mysterious Benefactor -- the secret backer of the entire Andromeda Initiative who originally hired Alec. She's a woman, though her face will remain hidden in this game and we'll only hear her voice.

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Humans of Kadara:

Sloane Kelly Sloane Kelly also known as the "Outcast Queen" is a "Robin Hood" figure who leads the Outcast Legion pirate faction by holding the spoils of war in one hand and a loaded gun in the other. A hardened survivor from the Nexus rebellion, she holds a deep personal grudge against the Andromedia Initiative--and, by association, the Pathfinder. South African. Attractive but tough. Like Furiosa from Mad Max.

Reyes Vidal Reyes Vidal presents himself to the player as a smuggler and contact of the Angaran Resistance, but he is secretly the Charlatan, one of the two major pirate lords vying for power in Kadara Port. He is charming and driven, but ultimately selfish and values himself above others. Casual, friendly with a flirty undertone. A very slight Chilean accent. Han Solo handsome--rugged but put together.

Dr. Ryota Nakamoto Ryota Nakamoto once worked for the Outcast Legion, but when Sloane turned what should have been a medical breakthrough into a drug, he quit and started up a free clinic in the slums of Kadara Port. He is Japanese, but doesn't have an accent.

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Humans of the Nexus:

Jien Garson This is Jien Garson, the founder of the Andromeda Initiative. A charismatic visionary billionaire ala Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, or Steve Jobs. She is seen in the video "info wall" in beginning of game. She will also be a character in the MEA prequel novel.

William Spender The son of an influential investor of the pathfinder initiative, Spender was assigned to the Pathfinder Initiative as an administrator. Though he was not competent, his ability as a politician was such that he managed to preserve his position within the Initiative until the departure of the arks. Woken up during the arrival in the Heleus Cluster, he became the director of colonial affairs’&#128;&#153; assistant more though lack of personel than anything else. His propensity for dodgy politics and behind the scenes dealing (and lying) continued, though a fatal miscalculation led to him becoming a pawn of the Nexus Exiles. He subsequently contributed to the departure of the krogan clan among other issues. He complies with Tann's requests thus is in good odor with him. Addison knows he is less than qualified and suspects he had a part in the krogan leaving, but no one has any idea of his involvement with the exiles.

Cryo Deployment Administrator Vladimir Brecka Dedicated but long-suffering assistant to the Colonial Director. Generally good natured, but knows his place in the order of things, and wants better. Knows that a good job will lead to better things for everyone, so he grins and bears it. Light Romanian Accent.

Doctor Camden Chief botanist and manager of Hydroponics who left for Andromeda after the Divorce From Hell. Camden is brisk and fussy, annoyed that people dismiss him as "a gardener" when his work in Hydroponics keeps everyone still breathing, eating, and drinking--nothing important, right? He nurses that grudge like a favourite teddy bear, but underneath it all he's deeply concerned that a thin green line separates the Nexus from life and death. Akin to the Doctor from ST: Voyager.

Yolanda Carter Operations Manager. A seemingly quiet and posed woman, Yolanda will rain the fires from hell down upon any unsuspecting fool who presumes to think her request for this or that item is superfluous. While some are intimidated by her, having fallen foul of her before, all respect her ability to get shit done. She works with Vetra and the two make a scary team when they are like-minded on acquiring something for the station.

Ada DeYoung A young technician working under Kesh on the Nexus. She is optimistic and tends to take everything with great aplomb. Kesh sends her to fix problems that no one can figure out, as the joke among the engineers is that the bugs then to happen when she's around. She is excellent at tracking down power issues within any given sort of network.

Sung-Soo Hwang Technician. An engineer working under Kesh in the engineering department. He is a hardware specialist who tends to be partnered with Ada more often than not due to their complementary skillsets and the fact that he takes the power outages Ada discovers with humor and has set up a countdown betting pool as to the next outage she tracks down.

Colonial Affairs Ops Lin. A young woman, asian, working the comms in the Colonial Affairs area. She's generally in charge of ensuring Addison is aware of on the spot reports when she's not at her desk, and managing the flow of information from settlements to the appropriate department head.

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Humans on Meridian After the Last Mission:

Iora Pillay (Chief Operations) Iora Pillay (iora, not Lora) takes on the managerial position meant to temporarily organize Hub operations until a permanent leader is decided, then assist that leader in perpetuity. East Indian by way of the Citadel. Focused, careful. Respects the Pathfinder, but on some level considers their job "done." Very pro Nexus-as-new-Citadel. She is "second wave," one of the first of the humans "defrosted" after the Hyperion was placed.

Hunter Kerry (Chief Engineer) Hunter is heading up the planned deconstruction of the Hyperion, managing the balance between reuse and recycling. New Zealander. Plainspoken, tough as balls. Doesn't care about politics. Complains that accommodating aliens messes with construction, but then goes above and beyond to do it. He just wanted you to know. He's another second wave defrostee.

Darla vas Hyperion (Placements Officer) Darla vas Hyperion is in charge of assigning occupations as the Ark is slowly repurposed and the humans in stasis are awakened. Spent most of her life among Quarians, because her parents were diplomats.  Utterly used to ship-life and the specificity of roles that demands. Pale. Used to life in a sterile environment. Middle management, glad to be in HR and not farming. Idolizes the Pathfinder. Another second wave defrostee. Korean Heritage.

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(text source: Game/VOCharacters/ using Frosty Editor)

[tokupedia]

Halloween 2019 costume ideas: Power Rangers pt. 1

It’s Spoopy time again! 

October is here and once again I pitch to the masses what they can possibly dress up as for the season or to plan for a later date.

Boom! Studios and Hasbro never fail to give us new material to work with, so let’s rummage through the things they created this year for costume ideas and a few of my own terrible ones in another part!

Beast Morphers Orange

A young boy named Tyler Rinker who was terminally ill requested to the Make A Wish Foundation that he wanted to be a Power Ranger for a day. Hasbro, Boom! Studios and the cast members of Beast Morphers helped to grant his wish. 

We openly welcomed Tyler to the family of Power Rangers and its only fair to carry his dream by dressing up as his Ranger form and carrying a halloween pail for money donations to cancer research at St. Jude and other charities, or just a generous one for Make A Wish. I feel this is one that should be carried with respect and love, with compassion and the purpose of charity in mind.

Spider-Ranger

Dan Mora conjured up this mash-up at SDCC a few months ago and it is just too good to pass up. What he did basically is merge elements of Super Sentai’s Dairanger and bits of Mighty Morphin into a Spider Suit. Body armor indicates a mostly black or blue suit with Red and black armor plates (or they can be any color you wish since its black and white and thus a blank canvas to experiment with)

The costume also has the classic Ditko webbing underarms and a belt buckle that is in line with modern Ranger suits in being both a weapon holster with a buckle that may serve a secondary function aside from keeping pants up (Web fluid storage?)

Dark Cat Ranger

One of the pallet swaps of the Battle for the Grid game, it is a perfect choice for Halloween as the suit is adorned in the colors of the holiday: orange, black, ghostly white and blood red! 

As an added bonus, you are dressed up as a black cat, so you have a never fail win for the season!

Omega Rangers

One of the newest Ranger teams to debut in the pages of the comics, the Omega Rangers are unique in that their costume helmets have been available since they were revealed at SDCC! Starchild Props can hook you up with accurate replicas of the helmets for $500 or you can get the file to print them on Etsy. 

Matt, The Silver Titanus Mighty Morphin Ranger

Another concept from the talented pen of Dan Mora. If you are tired of dressing up as the same old Mighty Morphin Ranger, here is a costume idea to liven up your spook night out! 

[tenroseforeverandever]

Dear Father Christmas... Chapter 22: December 24, 2037

MASTERPOST

Characters: ��Tentoo; Rose Tyler; Jackie Tyler; Pete Tyler; Tony Tyler; OC Hope Tyler-Noble; OC Charlotte Tyler-Noble; OC Wilfred Tyler-Noble; OC Therin Thomson; Javic Thane; Gray Thane; Tianza; the TARDIS

Rated: Teen

Tags: Family!Fic; Kid!Fic; Pete’s World; Letters to Santa; Christmas Fic; Family; Fluff; Hurt/Comfort; Angst; Romance; Love; gun violence; violence resulting in death; life-threatening injury; life threatening situations; life threatening illness; original characters

Summary: When Rose Tyler was little, she always wrote a Christmas wish list to Father Christmas. As she grew older, the wish list became more of a letter to someone she could confide in once a year, but she fell out of the habit somewhere along the way. Now, as a new mum, celebrating her daughter’s first Christmas, Rose takes up writing her Christmas letter to Father Christmas once again.

Rose’s Christmas letters are excerpts from her life with her beloved Tentoo and their children in Pete’s World, written once a year, for each of 31 years.

Chapter Summary: As much as Rose loves her Doctor, sometimes his fears, preconceptions, and prejudices result in a stubborn and obstinate attitude, but when Wilfred presents him with an extraordinary Christmas gift, the Doctor is given the chance to face his greatest fear head-on.

Notes: Wow! This chapter turned out to be super loooooong. I played around quite a bit with the concepts of Gallifrey and TARDISes. I tried to do some research, and develop a world that made sense given the circumstances I’ve envisioned for this universe. In the end, it is my (only partially informed) imagination that is to blame… for better or for worse. I hope you like where my muse took me.

***Trigger Warning for a near drowning early on in the chapter.

To my betas, @rose–nebula and mrsbertucci: you talked through my visions and concepts with me at length and helped me flesh them out, and you were always there when I called on you in a panic. I hope we managed to create something unique and magical, and that I was able to do it justice. I can’t thank you enough, my dear friends, for your creativity, talent, and patience.

Thanks to @doctorroseprompts for their 31 Days of Ficmas prompts. The prompt I used today was Lights.

Also read at: AO3; FF.net; Teaspoon

December 24th, 2037

Dear Father Christmas,

What a year! It’s been equal parts frustrating and wonderful! And all because my bloody, thick-headed, obstinate, lovable idiot has a lot of trouble getting past his long-standing fears, preconceptions, and prejudices.

It didn’t start out so bad. Me and the Doctor, in the TARDIS (with Snowflake), just as it should be. We’ve had so many brilliant adventures. We did some ambassadorial jobs for Torchwood, but mostly, it’s just been us flying by the seats of our pants all through time and space, finding trouble and doing our best to fix it wherever we go!

We have company sometimes, though. Hope and Gray are settling into their positions on Lunar Base Shepard, and loving it (no real surprise that Gray decided to get a position there, too.) But on their days off, they sometimes join us on our jaunts in the TARDIS. Gray’s quickly learned the ropes. He’s even picked up a few words of Gallifreyan from listening to the Doctor and Hope natter on. I was certainly impressed, even if the Doctor wasn’t. I’ve tried for years to speak and write it. The Doctor started teaching me back in the Prime Universe, and I love the songs; sing them all the time (my own special remixes which irk the Doctor no end!) But I’ve never been fluent. Not properly. The kids all speak it though. The Doctor spoke Gallifreyan to each of them whilst they were still in the womb, and he kept on with it after they were born. He’s so proud of them, and I can feel him positively gushing contentment and joy over our bond, all because he’s able to communicate with his children (and, of course, listen to his wife sing!) in his native language.

But, he didn’t feel that way toward Gray at first, even when the poor boy had just spoken a full sentence in Gallifreyan and managed to optimize some TARDIS manifold or other. Nope! That’s when protective-Dad syndrome kicked in with a vengeance, and all he could think about was “Jack Harkness’ brother” corrupting his daughter. Now admittedly, as much as he’s become a dear friend, Javic Thane is every bit as erm… sexually unrestrained as his counterpart in the Prime Universe. But I have to say, his brother is a very different creature: not at all a flirt (in fact, a bit too serious if I was to find any faults) and any idiot (with the exception of the Biggest Idiot of All…) could see that he’s utterly devoted to Hope. Devoted!

We all just had to ride out Oncoming Daddy-Storm for a few months until we visited Prebvok X-wani. That’s where a certain dafter-on-the-inside mindset had a complete makeover! Hope had requested we go there to collect certain medicinal herbs that grow at the edges of the swamps in the rainy season. I had stayed in the TARDIS because, bloody hell, the rain was bucketing down and it was flipping cold (kinda like Prime-London winters but with more swamps), and I figured I could stay warm and dry and make a nice hot stew for the intrepid adventurers. Gray had happily joined Hope, and so of course the Doctor just had to tag along as well. Blimey, I could feel his possessiveness absolutely bristling in my mind.

Anyway, not half an hour later, our bond went on full Mauve alert: pure panic from the Doctor. It was an agonizing 8.35 minutes (when you’re bonded to someone with time sense it rubs off on you after a while) before the calming green of relief started to trickle through my mind, and at least another ten before they all burst back through the TARDIS doors, covered in muck, and Gray carrying Hope bridal style, following the Doctor into the infirmary.

After making sure Hope’s airway was clear and after doing some dermal regeneration on her ankle, the Doctor looked at Gray and his gratitude practically glowed. He held out his hand to Gray to shake, but ended up pulling him into a full-on Doctor-hug.

I finally heard the whole story as we all sat eating supper in front of the fire, after everyone had cleaned up and changed into cosy jimjams. Hope had jogged on ahead, looking for her herbs, and had tripped on a vine across the path, twisting her ankle, and sending her headfirst into the swamp. It had been a sort of quicksandy material and having basically dived in, however unintentionally, she had disappeared below the surface almost instantaneously. The Doctor had had some rope in his pockets (never leave home without it, Rose Tyler; and thank God for that!) and without hesitation, Gray had tied it around himself while the Doctor tied the other end to a tree. Gray dove straight in there after Hope. It had taken three separate tries to find her, but he finally latched onto her fingertips and then her arm and then he’d signaled the Doctor to pull them up.

“Just goes to show,” (here goes my Doctor impersonation again), “all you need to get across this universe is a hand to hold… weeell, that and a good length of rope. Good man, Gray! Good man!”  And with that, one bit of the Doctor’s pig-headedness had been swapped for something much more rational.

But, Santa, the year was young… Turns out, this year was ripe with opportunities for the Doctor to dig his heels in and act a bit thick. And, as I’ve come to realize (not for the first time) the apple sometimes doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Here’s an example…

So, Hope and Gray weren’t the only ones who travelled with us from time to time. Wilfred was around quite a bit. Javic started to drop by on a regular basis, usually timing it to skive a few hours off work here and there, and filling our days with laughter at his tall tales of his (usually naked) adventures with the Time Agency.

Therin was also a regular visitor, especially over the summer before he started graduate school, and he never failed to be there if he knew Charlie was visiting. The poor baby; he wore his heart on his sleeve, and Charlie (Daddy’s little girl in so many ways for all that she looked like me) was completely oblivious. She sometimes flirted and held his hand, but she never once let on that Therin was anything more to her than her best mate. And I don’t think she had any clue he felt any differently. Oblivious! And oh, Santa, my heart broke for that boy. I knew everything he was feeling: desperate for more but never truly believing their friendship could ever develop into romance, and yet just so pathetically grateful to be a tiny speck of importance in Charlie’s brilliant, manic mind.

I tried to hide my thoughts about Therin and Charlie from the Doctor. I love that man more than life itself, and I didn’t want him feeling guilty about something that had happened ages ago, but those thoughts were so interwoven with other thoughts, it was difficult to keep them all separated and contained.

“You were never just a speck of anything, Rose Tyler.”

He’d caught me completely by surprise as I watched Charlie, Therin, and Wilfred from my place on the picnic blanket as they all tried out the new Wing-Gliders Charlie had developed. I’d been caught out and felt my face burning. Somehow I managed to tear my eyes from the kids cavorting in the sky overhead to look at my husband. His eyes were so sad, Santa.

“And you were never in any way pathetic.”

I knew I had to be honest and opened my thoughts to him, sharing all those old insecurities. I’d often wondered, especially in recent years now that my hair is peppered with grey, how it would have worked out had the Metacrisis never happened and I’d stayed on with the Time Lord Doctor. Would he ever have been able to slow down for me? Would he have eventually drawn away, unable to bear to watch me wither? Would he have resented me? Would he have dropped me off for my safety, for his sanity?

“I always loved you. I would have cherished every moment with you. I’d gotten past all of that awkwardness, but then I came along… and when Pete’s World presented itself, it was so easy to… weeell…”

He filled my thoughts with his love for me, past and present, and I snuggled against him. He was an idiot sometimes, but he was my very own idiot. It seemed, however, he’d passed the idiot gene on to Charlie.

“She’ll be all right.” He’d nodded at Charlie.

“Not her I’m worried about, is it? She doesn’t understand how she affects those around her. Once you have a taste of that… charisma, that allure, you can’t ever go back. Trust me.”

He just chuckled at me and booped my nose. “Oh, I know, my precious girl.”

“Shut up…”

“Now Wilfred… that’s who I’m concerned about. There’s something going on with him, I just don’t know what.”

The Doctor was quite right. There was something Wilfred was keeping from us. I’d thought so too. He’d always been a bit secretive, happy to quietly puzzle things out, but he also loved a great adventure and was never happy to be sitting still for too long. Now that he was out of our daily lives, travelling the world, it was difficult to figure out just what he was up to. Until we did, all we could do was keep our ears to the ground and wait to see what happened.

--ooOoo--

Santa, over the years, we’ve travelled to many wonderful places and the adventures never seemed to end, whether we were having a quiet day to ourselves or whether we had our entire extended family along for the ride. But, in all that time, there was one place the Doctor refused to even entertain trying to visit: Gallifrey. He wouldn’t even speak of it. To be quite honest, in all our travels, on any of our adventures, the name never even came up in rumours and stories, and for all we knew, it didn’t exist in this universe.

Whether it did or not, was irrelevant. The subject was taboo. I knew it, and the kids all knew it, so I nearly fainted when Wilfred brought it up at supper one day, a few months ago.

He’d been travelling with us for several weeks, tinkering in his own little workshop and learning as much as he could about the workings of the TARDIS, quantum mechanics, relativity, and the structure of space-time. He was most definitely up to something, but what it was, we still had been unable to determine.  At least he was home with us for the time being.

Javic had dropped ‘round for a visit and was staying for supper that day. Wilfred always really enjoyed Javic’s company, peppering him with questions about time travel and his vortex manipulator. But none of us were prepared for the question that carelessly slipped out just as we were starting on our pudding.

“Hey, Javic, just a thought…” (oh, so casual-like) “…have you ever heard of a planet called Gallifrey on any of your travels?”

I literally felt faint, though it was probably as much to do with the Doctor’s instant panic and anger hammering over our bond as it was the shock of the subject matter.

Javic, not ever having been briefed on our planet-who-shall-not-be-named situation, of course answered in his usual laid-back way, totally missing the electric mood around the table. “Can’t say as I have… but I could do some invest−”

Oh. My. God, Santa! The Doctor completely lost his trolley. Exploded it, more like. Pounded on the table; shouted; completely lost it! The Oncoming Supernova! He was properly frightening, demanding that Javic not do any investigating and that if he heard about anything to the contrary…

Well, you get the idea: threats were made.

I was trying to reach him over the bond, but the force of his emotions was preventing me from making contact. All I could do was keep trying and hope he would calm down, but then he turned on Wilfred, raging like something possessed. And my poor, stupid baby, despite being nearly as tall as his dad and sporting some wispy facial hair, suddenly seemed very small and vulnerable, you know? He took off to his room in a panic and slammed the door.

The Doctor’s mental walls finally crashed into place (saving me from the psychic fallout, thank God! My head was pounding with the mental barrage I’d been enduring!) and he stomped off into the bowels of the TARDIS. Like father, like son.

“Well, it’s been a slice,” Javic broke the silence, “but I think that’s my cue to vamoose.”

I was suddenly babbling and apologizing for the Doctor’s outburst and for not warning Javic beforehand, assuring him that it was a sensitive subject and things would smooth over in no time. (I hoped I was telling the truth.)

He gave me a hug. “I get it. Don’t worry, Rosie. I should be getting back to work anyway. I’ll check back in in a few weeks. You mind dropping me at these coordinates?” He showed me the display on his vortex manipulator.

I made him promise it was somewhere safe and told him to enter them himself. A few seconds later, he was stepping out the TARDIS doors onto a rowdy, seedy street. “Perfect!”

“You call this safe?”

“I call this a good time! Best hypervodka in the universe right through those doors, not to mention the servers…” He gave me a cheeky wink. “A bit of a pick-me-up before I head back to my current assignment.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’ll just bet you get picked up!”  I waved goodbye, and heard him calling out, “That’s the plan!” just as I was closing the TARDIS doors. I immediately sent us back into the Vortex.

--ooOoo--

I was furious at both my boys. Wilfred… well I don’t know what had gotten into his head, but he knew the rule, blatantly broken it, and had paid for it. The Doctor though… I was going to give that one a piece of my mind, treating friends and family like that. This situation had gone too far. Absolutely ridiculous! It was time we had a proper talk about Gallifrey. And to be honest, I was gutted he felt he couldn’t confide in me and trust me. I mean, he’d been completely excluding me on this for years… forever!

I decided to clear away the dishes, giving my lads a bit of space before I went to talk to them, and giving myself some time to work things out in my mind. Wilfred was brooding in his room, head buried in some gadgets on his desk. I didn’t say much to him. He knew why he was in trouble; no need to add salt to his wounds. So, I just gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and assured him that his father still loved him very much. I did quietly suggest he apologize.

I found the Doctor much later. The great plonker was hiding, faffing about deep in the workings of the TARDIS, among the mysterious glowing orbs and curtains of cables that dangled from the branches of the beautiful coral tree. I couldn’t imagine anything really needed repaired; he was likely just skulking. Anyroad, he never bothered to look up when I came in, just offered a gruff, “What do you want?”

“Oi!” I was stunned, and I hope I sounded as pissed off as I really was. “You don’t get to speak to me like that! I deserve better. Me and Javic… and Wilfred.”

“Wilf was out of−”

Oh, he was not going there! I wouldn’t let him. “He’s seventeen years old, for God’s sake! He’s curious about his heritage… your heritage. Don’t you dare put your hang-ups on his shoulders. You had no right to treat him like that!”

He growled at me. (I had to bite my tongue, Santa. He actually growled.) Then he muttered something about how I didn’t know anything about it. (Seriously? And whose fault was that?)

“Time you filled me in then, yeah?” I held my temper. It took every ounce of control I could muster, but I did it. I told him to meet me in the library in ten minutes, and to leave his attitude behind. So I walked out, and went to make us a cuppa and a couple of plates of the pudding we’d never managed to get to because of his tantrum. I reckoned he’d be much more approachable with loads of good ol’ free radicals, tannins, and a good dose of sugar in his system.

I hope you don’t think I was just being flippant or insensitive. I really wasn’t. I won’t say I completely understood why this affected him so deeply; he’d refused to speak about it for so long so there was no way to know for sure. But I know that man, and I had my suspicions. What was clear was that he needed to talk about this. It wasn’t healthy or safe for him to have kept all of this bottled up inside for so long. I love him so much. I’m his wife, his bondmate: I shouldn’t have had to stage an intervention for him to speak to me about this, and yet, there I was, doing just that.

--ooOoo--

Just over an hour later, he’d finally collapsed into sleep. We were sitting in front of the fire; me with my toes stretched toward the flames and my back against the sofa, and him curled into a foetal position next to me with his head cradled in my lap. I ran my fingers through the soft, lush mess of his hair, the rich brown shot through with wild sparks of silver. The stain of tears on his cheeks darkened his freckles, and I brushed a remaining droplet from the corner of his eye. He was so beautiful and vulnerable… my precious man.

He’d come into the library as I’d requested, looking all guilty and not meeting my eyes. He looked almost physically ill, with his fringe hanging over his pale face. I stood to meet him, and he threw his arms around me, clutching to me as though I might disappear. He was in a right state, sobbing and apologizing, and all I could do was hold him. Eventually, I drew him over to the sofa and got some hot tea into him, and gradually he became more coherent.

He’d never gotten over the Time War. Of course he hadn’t. How could anyone ever accept the fact that they had to destroy billions of lives, including all their own people, even if it was for the greater good, the salvation of the universe? Even after all these years, there were still nights when he would awake drenched in sweat, crying out in despair, after something during the day had triggered the memories to resurface. He told me he’d always felt at peace with me holding him, and so that’s what I would do in those times, for as long as he needed me.

Now in this universe, still unable to face the scars of his past, he was running from what-ifs and maybes. “I can’t sense the Time Lords,” he told me, clutching at his temples. “But that doesn’t mean they’re not there, it just means… I can’t sense them. Different universe of origin; not a full Time Lord… loads of factors. Maybe I just don’t want to sense them.”

What it all came down to was the Doctor did not cope well with loss, he never had, and just the thought of getting his hopes up only to have them shattered again was unbearable. He’d already seen too much sorrow associated with that planet: friends and family lost forever; memories and emotions, darkness, rage, and guilt, kept under lock and key deep in a fortress in his mind.

He couldn’t stomach the idea that the ruins of Gallifrey might be out there somewhere, the remnants of another Time War where everyone had perished, history unfolding the same way as it had in the Prime Universe. But equally, he admitted, he was terrified the Time Lords were actually alive and thriving, lording it over the rest of the universe, power misused through anger and pretensions.

At one point during our talk he’d snatched my hand in his and held my gaze. We’d moved to the floor by that time to be closer to the fire, hoping to find comfort in its warmth. “If the Time Lords are alive,” he confessed to me, tears pouring over his cheeks, “there’s a possibility there could be transdimensional travel again. You could… you could… maybe you’d want to… to go back to him. Me. Him, now. Different experiences. We’ve been different people from the moment I was created. But we started off pretty much the−”

“Stop!” I insisted, ending what was sure to be a long, self-deprecating babble. I locked my eyes on his (I was crying too, a right mess), so he would know how sincere I was. “I’m not going anywhere.” I felt so guilty for not realizing he thought I could ever consider abandoning him.  “Forever. I promised you… I love you, you muppet, and I’m never gonna leave you.”

--ooOoo--

The Doctor was much more settled after that night. Gallifrey wasn’t exactly on his top ten list of conversation topics, but he no longer flew into a rage at the mere mention of the name. Nightmares woke him often, but I was always there to hold him close to me, and they gradually dwindled away, becoming fewer and less intense as time went on. He apologized to Javic the next time he dropped by, and although things were a bit awkward between him and Wilfred, they were family and loved one another, and any grudges were shoved aside to make room for happier memories.

After another week or so, Wilfred returned to travelling on his own, and although other friends and family joined us on the TARDIS, we didn’t see him again until today when he, quite literally, blinked back into our lives.

We were back home in our little blue house, and I was sitting by the Christmas tree, wrapping gifts, when I felt a strange change in the air pressure near me. There was a whooshing sound, and a distortion in the air. I sensed something… something infinite. All that is; all that was; all that ever could be. The words were like a whisper in my mind. A memory? Perhaps…

And then, suddenly, Wilfred stumbled out of the distortion, beaming away like he had just walked through the front door. “Fantastic! Hey, Mum! Happy Christmas!”

“What the bloody hell was that?” The Doctor came thundering down the stairs, sonic drawn, ready to do battle. He stopped short at the sight of Wilfred. “When did you get in?” He didn’t wait for a response before he activated the sonic, whirring it all around the space in front of the Christmas tree.

I managed to stammer out some incoherent response. Then Wilfred piped up: “Hello, Dad. Don’t worry. Jus’ me!”

“What? What? WHAT?” The Doctor swept around Wilfred, sonic humming, then paused to examine his findings. “Local distortions in the Time Vortex… not just any distortions, not randomized. These are specific… programmed. What the hell is that on your wrist?”

My eyes snapped to Wilfred’s wrist where there sat something that looked suspiciously like a Vortex manipulator. Well, that cleared up a few of my questions. Generated a few more… but, yeah, what else could I expect when my child just popped out of the Vortex, directly into our living room.

“Been travelling, me! ‘S a Vortex manipulator.”

The Doctor pinched his nose, collecting himself. As for me, the initial shock of my son suddenly appearing in front of me dissipated rather quickly and I just slipped into my standard roll-with-it mode I usually applied in situations involving my children (and/or husband) doing something, erm… unexpected. “So how long have you been travelling… this way?”

“Since I saw you last, really. It took a little getting used to, travelling without the TARDIS shell to protect me…”

“Riiiight…” (What every mother wants to hear.)

“…but I made some adjustments to my original design…”

“Your design?” (Definitely our child.)

“Yeah! So, I made adjustments to the shield harmonics and I adapted the Chrononplasm flow regulators ever so slightly, and bam! Just like that, a fifty-seven percent increase in stabilization and a one hundred eighty-two percent increase in overall shielding!”

“Impressive…” (I had no idea to be honest, but it sounded pretty good.)

“Sort of, yeah. Aaaand it can transport a mass of up to a tonne now… that’s about six humans, give or take. The design the Time Agency uses can only take three people… and then only in a pinch. Not recommended. I’m hoping to get a patent on my design and sell it to them.”

The Doctor had been uncharacteristically silent throughout this exchange, which boded ill, so I went straight over to him and took his hand in one of mine and stroked his sleeve with the other. I soothed him over our bond, and he glowered at me, knowing exactly what I was trying to do. And it was working!

Wilfred watched our silent exchange, and I could sense the tension growing in him.

Just hear him out. Nothing we say is going to change anything. He’s smart. And he’s a good kid. And right now, he’s safe. I’d like to keep him that way.

The Doctor grumbled at me, and I just arched my eyebrow at him.

Nothing’s going to be solved with shouting and driving him away.

This time he huffed out a great sigh. (Victory!)

He’s so much like you.

I assume that’s meant to be a compliment. He nudged me with his shoulder, and threw me a cheeky smirk.

Always, love.

--ooOoo--

December 25, 2037

Oh Santa, since Christmas Eve so much has happened! I didn’t get to finish this letter because I’ve been so busy.

After the Doctor had agreed to call a truce with Wilfred, he was full of questions and the two of them disappeared into the Doctor’s workshop to tinker with the Vortex manipulator until it was time for our traditional Christmas Eve supper. Tony and Noah arrived with their arms full of my brand new (adopted) niece, Abby; and Mum, Dad, and Therin dropped by too. Mum couldn’t keep her hands off the baby all night, which gave Abby’s Dads a welcome break by the look of the dark circles under their eyes. (I remember those bittersweet days!) The girls and Gray were set to arrive tomorrow, which meant Charlie was going to be able to kick off the Festive Feast for the first time in quite a few years. We’d have the whole family together for Christmas! It had been so long! Even Javic said he’d try to make it.

I was thrilled!

But Christmas was only going to get better for us this year. Wilfred had a surprise gift for his father, which he wanted to give us once everyone had left after Christmas Eve supper.

He bustled us onto the TARDIS. He’d offered to use his manipulator, but he admitted with a fond stroke of the TARDIS’ walls, he thought she would enjoy this trip too. (I was, honestly, relieved. I didn’t much like the sound of travel by Vortex manipulator!) He pushed the Doctor away from the console. “Let me enter the coordinates, Dad. This is a surprise! You just can’t stand it, can you?”

The Doctor was glaring at him. “I don’t want to go.”

“Daaaad…”

“What the hell do you mean, you don’t want to go?” I wasn’t honestly surprised by his reaction. I’m pretty sure we both knew where Wilfred was taking us, and the Doctor was being bloody-minded and obstinate. Mind you, with perfectly good reason. His emotional distress over his home world had been festering for years, maybe all his life, and he’d only recently managed to get it back under some semblance of control.

“I mean, I don’t want to go! Full stop! Kaput! Fertig! Klaar! And just NOPE!” He fixed me with that I’m-not-compromising-so forget-it look of his.

I gave Wilfred a kiss on the cheek, stopping what was likely to be an outburst he would regret, and told him to give us a minute, maybe longer... maybe a lot longer. Then I went to the Doctor, and took him down to our bedroom. “How about a kip, yeah. It’s been a long day. It’s well past bedtime.” I tossed him his jimjams, and we got ready for bed.

A few minutes later, I snuggled up to him under the covers.

“I’m not going.”

“I know, love.” We lay there, just cuddling for a few minutes, and a memory of a previous Christmas drifted into my mind. “Hey, do you remember that Christmas when Wilfred gave you the transparency setting for wood? He was so proud. He’d been planning the reveal all day.”

The Doctor chuckled.

“He’s always so thoughtful, yeah. What a great Christmas that was! We all bundled out there with hot chocolate and ended up spending the whole evening stargazing and telling stories.” I felt his body relax. “I was so shocked when you pointed up to the sky and told us that’s where Gallifrey was supposed to be.”

“Weeell…”

“And then you even told that story about running through the grass, flying your little kite.”

“It got stuck in a Cadonwood. A gust of wind just took it off course.”

“But you got it down. You flew that little kite again.”

“I know what you’re doing.” He always knew… and I wasn’t being terribly subtle.

“Yeah? Is it working.”

“Absolutely not.” But he rolled his eyes and gave me a long, lingering kiss.

“Just sleep on it for a bit. That’s all I’m asking.” I stroked the stubble on his cheek and tucked my head under his chin and we gradually dozed off.

A few hours later, he was dressed, stubble-free, and back in the console room with a brand new attitude. “All right, son. It’s time I faced my demons…”

Wilfred grinned. “You’ll love it, I promise. Ready?”

The Doctor nodded and with that, Wilfred threw the last lever in the dematerialization sequence. The landing was gentle, and with a flourish of his hand he directed the Doctor to the doors. “Happy Christmas, Dad.”

I saw the Doctor hesitate as he moved to go out, and sensed he was going to turn back. I couldn’t let that happen. This was something he needed to do. Whatever he found on the other side of those doors, it would no longer be a product of his tortured imagination. It would be real, something he could deal with head on. Together, love, I suggested over our bond, and I took his hand. He was shaking. I did my best to reassure him. Love, he would never have brought you here if he thought it would be a bad thing. Come on. I tugged on his hand and we stepped up to the doors. “Together!”

With that, we pulled the doors open.

The Doctor gasped and squeezed my hand so hard it hurt. His emotions rushed over me as he took in the vista before him: apprehension, joy, sadness… and a lot of hope. I nudged him over the threshold, and we stepped out onto the soil of Gallifrey. We were on a little rise in the middle of a field of beautiful, long grass… and such a deep, rich, gorgeous red… spread out before us. Here and there were little groves of slender trees (the kite-snatching Cadonwoods, I guessed) with silver leaves, flickering in the breeze. And beyond all that… mountains. I can’t describe them properly: rugged and capped with snow, and all sorts of colours… purples and browns. The sky was amber, but as we stood there, everything began to grow brighter, and the sky began to turn more blue. Birds (I think they were birds or something like them) started chattering in the trees.

“The second sun rising in the south…” The Doctor whispered the words, and I when I looked up at his face, Santa, it was more beautiful than any of that scenery. Tears sparkled on his cheeks, but his expression… I’ve only ever seen that expression a few times before, and that was when he’d held each of our children for the very first time. It was wonder and disbelief and joy all mixed together.

He looked at me and beamed, his grip on my hand tightening again. “RUN!” And suddenly he was dragging me down the little hill, leaping and bounding through the grass like a puppy, and I couldn’t help laughing at him, even as I tried to catch my breath. He was so happy! He dropped my hand and danced around me, whooping and cheering. After a few minutes, he bounced his way back to the TARDIS, me tagging along behind, and Wilfred stepped forward to greet him. He handed him a kite, a simple diamond design.

“You once told us the story of how you would run through the red grass, flying your kite. (Just what me and the Doctor had talked about before our nap!) I thought you might like to give it another go.”

“Oh, yes! Oh, Wilfred! This is…” He pulled him into a hug, then gratefully took the kite and waved it at me. “C’mon, Rose Tyler, help me fly it!” I skipped over to him, and he handed me the kite as he let out a length of string. “You hold it up and I’ll run ahead! You know when to let go!”

Yes, I did. The Doctor loved to fly kites and we had done this a thousand times if we had done it once. In seconds, he was tearing across the field again, his exhilaration bursting like fireworks in my mind, and I was holding tight to the kite and stumbling along behind him until I felt the wind catch and tug at my fingers.

And then I released it, and watched it soar into the air, the words “Welcome Home” emblazoned in Circular Gallifreyan onto the kite’s wings.

I suddenly realized I was releasing him too, and a cold dread settled in my gut: I closed my emotions to him as I panicked and selfishly felt the need to keep him right beside me, as though if I didn’t he might abandon me and disappear into this world, into Gallifrey, never to return. That scared the hell out of me.

But how could I deny him this? Even if he left me, just knowing he was happy… that would be enough. I forced back my tears and watched him wading through the grass, gazing up at the dancing kite as it went higher and higher into the brightening sky. I don’t know if I’d ever seen him so alive. Oh, I love him so much; I know I’ve said it a lot, but I do, I really do!

Eventually, he reeled in the kite and jogged back to the TARDIS where Wilfred and me were waiting. He was beaming and his hair was wilder than ever and his eyes were glowing. “I can’t believe it’s here! Gallifrey!” He picked me up and whirled me around. “And I can feel them… the people… in my mind, their voices in my mind!”  

Oh god, Santa, my jealousy just flared at the thought of anyone else in his mind. I felt horrible but I couldn’t help it, and I bolstered the mental shields I’d thrown up earlier. “I thought you were touch telepaths?”

“Oh, we are… were…, but there’s a sort of a telepathic field, nothing specific, just like distant chatter, background noise I suppose you could call it. I’m aware of them, but not of who they are or what they’re thinking. Just that they’re there. And the Time Lords… weeell, we were all telepathically linked, like a sort of hive mind when it was needed, but that was stronger, and deliberate. This isn’t anything like that. This is just innocent whispers, nothing meant for power or manipulation.”

“Like the TARDIS in my mind?”

“Weeell… yes and no… not so specific. Not so intimate or intense.” I hoped he couldn’t feel my sense of relief at hearing that. I was desperately trying to push all my negative emotions aside and just enjoy the adventure. I certainly didn’t want to ruin this experience for him. And yet here I was doing just that…

“What are you doing with your shields up?” He touched my face, concern chasing away his joy. I felt like such a cow, worrying him like that, when all he wanted to do was share this experience with me. “Actually, you should be able to sense them as well. You’ve become quite a strong telepath. But first, you need to let them in.”

“I’ll try,” I wanted to reassure him so I relaxed my mental walls a bit, tucking my jealousies and fears behind a doorway in my mind, and opened myself to welcome the Gallifreyan voices. It was like a choir singing very faintly, very far away, just on the edge of my awareness. It’s lovely… I told him truthfully. It was, but he’d noticed my tight smile and I knew he sensed something in the turn of my thoughts. I couldn’t really hide my feelings from him, such an experienced telepath.

He didn’t say anything, just drew me into a hug and kissed my forehead and made me feel so incredibly loved.

“Oi! Yuck, you two! Break it up!” Wilfred’s voice cut into our intimate little moment, and we pulled out of the hug, chuckling.

Wilfred pointed out the footpath that meandered through the field and suggested we walk into town. He told us there was a small community at the end of the path where we could stop to get a bite to eat and meet some people.

“Allons-y!” The Doctor snatched up my hand in his again, and grinning from ear to ear, pulled me along the path. I couldn’t help laughing, my fears dissipating, knowing he wanted me with him. Besides, the prospect of an adventure with my two boys… what could be better?

As we walked, Wilfred admitted to having travelled here several times, often staying for long periods. He told us some of what he had learned about this Gallifrey. First off, there were no Time Lords, and the Gallifreyans had no active time sense that he could discern. (The Doctor seemed especially interested in this fact, and immediately began taking readings with his sonic.) They were an intelligent, hard-working, and thoughtful people from all walks of life. Regardless of their profession, everyone was encouraged to continue to learn and challenge their mind throughout their life. Many attended schools of higher learning in the major cities, like Arcadia.  

They were a philosophical people who were very open to offworlders visiting, and welcomed new opportunities for learning with open arms, but only a very few ever sought to leave Gallifrey. And it was no wonder. They had turned it into a virtual paradise. Through ingenious methods, they extracted water from the atmosphere, creating oases of civilization even in the driest parts of this dry planet, beautiful, lush communities where life thrived. They nurtured their world and it nurtured them.

They were quite long-lived, living about 250 Earth years on average, though they didn’t have the extended life span the Time Lords had enjoyed, even without the ability to regenerate.

“But why not? Why didn’t they evolve into Time Lords?” The Doctor was muttering happily to himself, thrilled to have a mystery to solve along with his enjoyment at just being able to experience this version of his home planet again. It seemed without those Time Lords, Gallifrey was a much kinder, gentler place, and he was truly quite delighted by that fact.

His obsessive questioning suddenly transformed to awe when we arrived at our destination, a little town called Flanx. The grassy plains morphed into farmland around the town. Flanx itself was… I want to say quaint, but I don’t think that’s quite the word. It was clean and modern, highly efficient. But it was also a comfortable, welcoming place. It was so pretty, flowers everywhere, and fruit trees and vegetables growing in every garden. There was nothing outlandish or snobby about it, nothing like the stories I’d heard from the Doctor about the Gallifrey he once knew.

The main street was quite busy with people going about their business, and a huge, colourful, open air market was set up in the town square. I was drawn by a vendor selling some of the gorgeous tunic dresses worn by the locals. The fabrics were exquisite: soft and durable, and dyed in beautiful colours and designs.

“They recognize UCS [that means Universal Credit Sticks, Santa] as currency,” Wilfred whispered in my ear, giving me a nudge.

The Doctor came up behind me, placing a hand on my lower back, stroking. He nodded to a tunic I had been eyeing: flowing and knee length, soft blue with a gauzy amber overlay. It looked like the dawn sky. Stretchy mid-calf leggings came with it. “Would you like it, love?”

I bit my lower lip, a habit I had never outgrown, and nodded. “But you need one too…” I smirked at him, “to blend in. Not that I mind the jeans and jumper, but it’s just that these tunics look so comfortable, and if I’m going to go native, you are too!”

The Doctor pursed his lips. I could sense his annoyance… mild annoyance. He hadn’t expected me to turn the tables on him like that, but I have to admit, it was nice to know I could still pull one over on him once in a while. I watched as he perused the selection available.

“Weeell, as long as it doesn’t come with a ridiculous headdress I suppose… Ah-ha!”

I followed his eyes and burst into gales of laughter. I couldn’t believe it. He’d found one in brown fabric with a dark blue pinstripe running through it. Soft brown trousers were worn underneath. “Oh my God! You have to buy it!”

“Oh, yes!” And with that, the Doctor spoke in Gallifreyan to the woman at the stall, and purchased all our items, including some sandals for me. He insisted on sticking with his trusty Chucks. I wrapped my arms around him and planted a kiss of thanks at the corner of his mouth.

We wandered through the market some more. The Doctor insisting on buying me a circlet for my hair (they seemed to be all the fashion): a simple design of silver metal, woven into infinity knots. I suddenly felt shy and self-conscious, worrying about how ridiculous it would be to waste it on my greying hair. “I should probably listen to Mum and go blonde again, yeah.”

“Don’t you dare! I love the silver in your hair, and this circlet will complement it perfectly. My precious girl…” He placed it on my head, and leaned in to give me a rather wonderful kiss.

“All right, love birds!” Wilfred had an annoying habit of interrupting us when we were having lovely, romantic moments. “How about we grab a bite to eat. I know a fantastic little restaurant just down the street…”

True to his word, the restaurant was fantastic and the meal was delicious. I had a sort of stew made with some mildly spiced, succulent meat, marinated in Ulanda fruit sauce and served with a wonderful flatbread, perfect for mopping up the last bits from the plate. The Doctor went completely mental when he saw the dessert menu, though. “Oh, oh, oh, Rose! They have Karmine pudding! You have to try it! This fruit! There’s nothing better in the universe! I used to have it all the time when I was a child.”

“What? There’s a fruit in the universe better than bananas?”

“Rose Tyler! Karmine is more bananas than bananas!”

“You’re bananas!” Wilfred muttered, and I laughed. I admit, I’d been thinking the same thing.

“Karmine is the original banana! Sweeter, richer… more banana-esque. Where do you think bananas came from, Rose?”

I shrugged. What else could I do? But it turned out he was right; the pudding was gorgeous!

As we stepped out of the restaurant, I sighed. I reminded them that Christmas was tomorrow… erm, today. We needed to get home. It was already nearly six in the morning, our time.

The Doctor’s face fell. “Oh, well all right then… allons-y!” he said, trying to be upbeat, and failing miserably.

My heart broke, and when Wilfred groaned, “Muuuuum! I have something really special to show you! Time it, Mum! Just this once! Time it!” I found myself questioning when I had become such a “rules” sort of person. I always used to be the first one to break them: go wandering off to find an adventure, or leap into a stranger’s “London Hopper” without a second thought for those I was leaving behind. I reckon that’s one of the ways being a parent changes your life.

“Well, I suppose…” I was grinning from ear to ear at the thought of this tiny rebellion. “And this way, I get to say Merry Christmas to you twice,” I crooned into the Doctor’s ear.

“Blimey, Mum! Child present!”

--ooOoo--

We camped out that night under the stars. After snuggling into sleeping bags from the TARDIS, the Doctor regaled us with the names of all of the constellations we could see. I eventually fell asleep to the sound of his voice and the familiar thud of his heartbeat against my cheek. I don’t think he slept at all, himself. He was far too excited.

Wilfred was excited too, barely able to contain himself the next morning. He was dying to show us the “really special” place he had mentioned the previous day. He didn’t want to give too much away so it would be a surprise, but he did mention we’d have to take the TARDIS to get there. It was much too far to walk.

We dressed in our new Gallifreyan tunics, and when the TARDIS landed, the Doctor flung open the doors and stepped out, open-mouthed. I came out behind him and found myself in the middle of a spectacular mountain vista. We stood in the foothills by the banks of a rushing river. Everything was lush and covered with all kinds of plants with leaves in purples, reds, and golds.

“Where did you say we came out?” the Doctor asked Wilfred as he joined us.

“We’re right at the edge of the mountain range, in the valley between the mountains Solace and Solitude. The view is spectac−”

“It’s gone!” The Doctor staggered forward, clutching at his hair, and my heart just leaped into my throat. “Completely and utterly… gone!” He was projecting an aura of what I could only describe as emptiness.

I asked him, as gently as I could what he meant, and when he turned to me his eyes were wild. “It’s gone. It was right here… weeell, I suppose it was never here. Not in this universe…”

“What wasn’t, love? What did you expect to see?” I turned to look at Wilfred, who was just as concerned as me, by the looks of him.

“The Citadel… the Capitol… beautiful city, majestic. Enclosed in a mighty glass dome, the entire city. And it’s just not here...”

I wrapped my arms around him from behind, my cheek pressed against his shoulder, and I tried to let him know how sorry I was, how sad.

He told me he wasn’t sad, not really. Just shocked. “Completely floored, to be honest!” The city had been a symbol of power and dominance, beautiful, yes, but full of corruption. It had been built on the bones of the original Capitol, and below that were the Vaults and Cloisters where the Time Lords guarded some of their darkest secrets. “But I think the saddest thing of all was deep in the Vaults, an Undercroft. It was a huge natural cave, reworked and modified by the Time Lords…” A single tear rolled down his cheek, and I felt how his heart ached. He gulped back a sob. “They sent TARDISes there to die. Discarded. When it was deemed they had outlived their usefulness.”

Our TARDIS hummed a melancholy little sound, and I could feel her stroking the Doctor’s mind, desperate to reassure him, bolstering my attempts to do the same.

“Maybe just as well it isn’t here. A pretty bauble to look at, but…”

“I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t know…”

“Not your fault. And yes, I can’t help but think this world, this universe is better off for the absence of the Time Lords. They were sworn never to interfere, only to watch. But they couldn’t resist the temptation of power in the end. The Time War itself was the ultimate evidence of that, the ultimate interference, and coupled with their disdain for “lower” lifeforms, weeell…”

“What I brought you here to see,” Wilfred said softly, “I think will make you feel better about all of that. It’s beautiful too, but in a natural way. You’ll see. C’mon, it’s up this way a bit.” He gestured upstream. We hiked up the river bank along a faint foot path until we reached a cabin that peeked out from a little grove of Cadonwoods. Wilfred explained that there was someone he wanted us to meet, a guide who would be able to take us further. He stepped up onto the little porch of the cabin and knocked on the door.

A young woman opened the door, and after a brief hesitation, threw her arms around Wilfred’s neck. “Wilfred! You returned!” Me and the Doctor just looked at each other, stunned.

“Course I did. Said I would, didn’t I?”

“And these must be your parents…” She pulled away from Wilfred and stepped toward us. She was petite, with dark, caramel skin and long, straight black hair, and her eyes were an extraordinary, piercing blue.

“Uh… yeah. Yeah…” My poor baby. I think he’d almost forgotten we were there, but I could hardly fault him for that. The girl was beautiful. “Erm,” he stammered in Gallifreyan, “this is my mum, Rose Tyler, and my dad, the Doctor. This,” he nodded at the girl, “is Tianza.”

“Tianzadruxdomdivaradamas,” (obviously her full name) “but you can call me Tianza. Nice to meet you.”

“Well, I see some things haven’t changed,” the Doctor piped up, even as he took Tianza’s hand to shake. “You lot still have ridiculously long names.”

I elbowed him in the ribs and admonished him over our bond: Rude! To Tianza, I spoke aloud using the best Gallifreyan I could manage in an effort to be polite, even though the TARDIS was happily translating for me (the Doctor had long since made sure Gallifreyan was included in her translation matrix.) “Sorry about him. Nice to meet you Tianza.”

She just laughed and invited us in, and offered us some fruity biscuits and cold spring water for a snack. “So you want to see the Chanting Caverns of Consolation, is that right?”

For a second there, I thought maybe the TARDIS had mistranslated what she had said, but Wilfred quickly agreed with her. The Chanting Caverns it was then. Soon we were off hiking again, with Tianza leading the way. We climbed higher into the foothills, continuing upstream along the river. As we walked, she told us a little about herself. She was a student at the Advanced Biological Academy in Arcadia, and was stationed here to study and protect the flora and fauna in the Chanting Caverns of Consolation. I couldn’t help but notice how Wilfred hung on her every word. Besotted. She seemed quite fond of him too, but whether she was as taken with him as he was with her, I rather doubted. Still, I reckon she seemed like a nice enough girl.

We stopped to eat lunch at a spot where we could no longer follow the river. It flowed out from below ground at this point. Underneath us were enormous caverns and a great underground lake, fed by the river from further up the mountain. This was to be our destination.

“Just wait, Dad! You’ve never seen anything like this!” Wilfred was practically vibrating in anticipation.

An hour later we were standing at the large entrance of a cave. A soft droning sound drifted up to us, a melodic humming, so familiar, but so wild and strange at the same time. I felt a gentle prickle at the edges of my mind, someone, something attempting to make contact. Me and the Doctor found one another’s hands. “Is it safe? The telepathic field?” I blurted out, feeling silly. Nothing about this felt hostile, but I’d experienced enough deception in my life to know to proceed with caution.

“You can sense them?” Tianza sounded impressed. “They’re curious about strangers, that’s all. Purely emotional communication. Very safe.”

We descended into the cave, the narrow passage sloping gradually down to the underground lake. We could hear the humming better as we got closer. It wasn’t loud but it trembled, almost like voices in vibrato, not high pitched, though, but not deep either, lots of songs all at once… chanting… the Chanting Caverns. It was… I can’t think of a word to properly describe to you how beautiful the songs were, Santa, but combined with the telepathic field, they were just so powerful and wonderful and gave such a feeling of wellbeing. The Chanting Caverns of Consolation.

As we drew closer, I could hear the lake water sloshing against the shore, giving rhythm to the chorus of humming voices, and I realized I was able to see quite well even though we were deep underground.

“Do you have lights set up down there?” the Doctor asked.

“No, that’s just… them.”

“Who? Who or what is down here?” I could feel his nervous energy, held tightly under control, his imagination running wild with endless questions.

“Just wait, Dad,” Wilfred said. “Just around this corner and…”

“The Shimmering Coral Forest.” As Tianza spoke those words, the passage opened up and before us was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. All along the shores of the lake were lovely, little coral trees, draped with glowing fruit that dangled from their branches on long vines. Some were just little saplings with tiny bioluminescent buds, while others were strong, fully-grown corals. No matter their shape or size, I recognized them instantly.

“Those… those are…” The Doctor was stammering, at a loss for words. “But that’s impossible. I never considered…” Tears rolled freely down his cheeks and I held fast to his hand, leaning against him, and just took in the marvels of the Shimmering Coral Forest. “They’re TARDIS corals…”

“TARDIS? What word is this?” Tianza asked.

“Now that, that is a long story…”

“I’d like to hear it sometime, if you are willing to tell it, but we know these entities as the Consolation Corals. We believe they are unique to these caves. To date, they have not been found anywhere else on Gallifrey.”

I asked if we could walk among them, touch them, make contact. Tianza gave her permission, and hand in hand, me and the Doctor moved forward to meet these beings, who were so reminiscent of the entity who was our beloved TARDIS. I was drawn to them, and as I reached out to touch one, they seemed to bend toward me, and connect with my mind in a much more intimate way. Touch telepaths of sorts. It all felt so familiar, so much like how I communicated with the TARDIS, but less intense, less precise.

The Doctor felt it too. “These are the same caves where the TARDISes were sent to die. And look, here they are in their natural state, brim-full of life, Rose! These brilliant beings!” He pondered how they, like the Gallifreyan people, were so similar to those in the Prime Universe, yet they had evolved no sensitivity to time.

We spent hours wandering among them, marvelling at the beauty of the bioluminescent lights reflecting on the ripples of the water and listening to the peaceful songs that surrounded us.  Wilfred helped Tianza collect data for her studies and then the two of them left us to explore alone. We sat down at the base of a large coral, deep in the centre of the forest, and felt its strength fill us.

As comfortable as we were, eventually we had to leave the Shimmering Coral Forest, but Tianza invited us to come back any time. On our return trip to the cabin, we told her the far-fetched tale of our lives in a different universe and the fate of the corals and the people there. And we told her about our TARDIS.

She came back with us to meet the TARDIS, and I thought she handled the shock of experiencing the bigger-on-the-inside business very well indeed. She was intrigued that she could communicate on a rudimentary level with the TARDIS, and how familiar it felt to her. We asked her to supper and after pudding took her to see our very own Consolation Coral deep under the central console. She expressed understandable concern about the way the TARDIS was all wired up, how she was (as she saw it) enslaved to this life of being a space and time vessel, but we explained how much love there was between us and our beautiful girl, how we considered her family, a partner, and how we trusted her to keep us safe, and we did our best to protect her as well.

The Doctor did admit that not all TARDISes had been treated with the same respect we had for ours, and that “slavery” was probably not too far off the mark in many cases. He was just so happy that this Gallifrey had evolved so differently, though he still had to discover why that was the case. He asked Tianza about the Untempered Schism, and she had just looked confused. She’d never heard of it.

The next day we took her on a trip to see her planet from space. She and Wilfred sat in the doorway, with their feet dangling, watching the rusty orange planet spin before them. I didn’t miss Wilfred covering her hand with his, and the way she leaned her head against his shoulder. Maybe she was fonder of him than I’d previously realized. I couldn’t help but smile at the two of them. It was a romantic location, that doorway. Me and the Doctor had spent many an hour there, taking in the sights, both in this universe and the other.

The Doctor took the opportunity of being in space to perform a proper scan of Gallifrey using the TARDIS’ scanners. It showed him what he had suspected all along: the massive rift in space and time, known as the Untempered Schism, had never formed on Gallifrey. Without prolonged exposure to the naked Vortex, Gallifreyans had never evolved into Time Lords and the corals had never developed the potential to manipulate time and space.

Later, we took the TARDIS into the Chanting Caverns to meet her kindred. She warbled and hummed with the corals, and we could feel her joy and contentment absolutely bubbling over our bond. Me and the Doctor looked at one another and we knew what we had to do, what was only right to do. She could have friends of her own kind now, and it was with no small amount of trepidation that we offered to let her stay here, if that was what she wanted, to allow her the freedom she deserved for the rest of her days. It made my heart ache and brought to the forefront of my mind how I’d been feeling about the Doctor, losing him to this world, too. If I was to lose them both…

But the TARDIS enveloped our minds in what could only be described as a hug. We were her family, her life. Her freedom was exploring all of space and time with us, and she intended to spend her life looking after us and our family. Forever, she hummed.

We said goodbye to Tianza (Wilfred did too, though I suspected he would be visiting her a lot with his Vortex manipulator), and we ended up spending another entire week exploring Gallifrey: the universities and academies; Arcadia; the mountains; and many of the smaller communities around the planet.

I often took my easel and paints with me and let my muse run mad. There was inspiration everywhere, from scenes of everyday life to spectacular vistas. My favourite of my paintings, though, is of a little boy, running through an immense field of long, red grass, dragging a ragged little kite in his wake. I’ve managed to keep that one a secret from the Doctor. I still have a bit of work to do on it, but I hope to give it to him as a gift one day.

One night over supper, the Doctor sadly declared he thought it was well past time we return to our own timeline and celebrate Christmas with our family. This had been a brilliant, life-changing Christmas gift, one he would enjoy for many years, but for now, it was time to go home.

As we curled up to sleep under the Gallifreyan stars, I knew it was time to face my fears once and for all. Just as we had done for the TARDIS, I had to set the Doctor free, to give him that choice. “Are you sure? You’re certain you want to go back? You don’t have to feel obliged, you know…”

He gave me an odd look and arched his eyebrow at me. “What are you on about, eh?” He probed over our bond, and found the unfamiliar door in my mind where I had hidden all my feelings of jealousy and possessiveness and my fear of losing him on our first day on Gallifrey, and every day since, to be honest. “What’s going on in that beautiful mind, hmmm? May I look?”

I felt so guilty for having any feelings at all that would make it seem I didn’t want him to be happy I couldn’t look him in the eye, but I nodded and allowed him access to that room behind the door. The second he opened it, all my repressed fears and emotions came rushing out at once, before I was able to rein them in.  

I couldn’t hold the tears back any more than I’d been able to hold back that rush of emotions, and within moments I was blubbing away like a big baby. “When I saw the words on the kite Wilfred gave you when we first got here… welcome home… it made me think, yeah. I was just so afraid I’d lose you to this planet. I mean, it’s your home. I’m so sorry! You’re having the most brilliant experience of your life, and here I’m being such a cow. But, honestly, I just want you to be happy, even if it means having to lose you; I don’t care what the cost. I mean it, I really do.”

He was crying too, now, and holding me so tight, rocking me and repeating like a mantra, “You are my home.” Finally, our tears had calmed a bit, and he said, “I thought you knew that.”

“I did. I do. I guess I’ve just never had to compete with an entire planet before.”

“There was never any competition, love. Gallifrey was where I grew up, and I have some very fond memories of it, but it never really felt like home, no matter how hard I tried to make it that way. It’s why I ran away. The TARDIS and all my friends were the closest things I had to that. Then you came into my life. You gave me a future and a reason to live. You gave me the one adventure I always thought I could never have. And, yes, I do want to come back and have more adventures here, on this Gallifrey, but only if I have you by my side every step of the way. You’re it for me, Rose Tyler. My home. Forever.”

Santa, I don’t know what I’ve ever done to deserve him. Yes, there are certainly times he’s so bloody thick-headed he makes me want to pull my hair out, but honestly, I wouldn’t have him any other way. He’s my home, too.

I hope you found your way back to your home safely this year, Santa, and that it was filled with love. Give my love to Mrs. Claus, the elves, and all the reindeer.

Love, Rose.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Sherlock: The Lying Detective (4x02)

Okay. So. Anybody who has read ACD's short stories might be familiar with "The Dying Detective," a story wherein Holmes pretends to be grievously ill in order to catch a bad guy, and he doesn't clue Watson in on the plan. Going in to this episode, I knew that Sherlock would have a trick up his sleeve. How did it all pan out? Let's take a look.

Cons:

I have a lot of questions and complaints. To start with the briefest of plot summaries: Sherlock is in a terrible drug spiral, John is roped in to help him take down Culverton Smith, a very wealthy man who Sherlock believes to be a serial killer. In the end, John sees the video that Mary left for Sherlock, and realizes that Sherlock has "gone to Hell" in order to force John to save him, thus helping him to save himself. John shows up in time to stop Smith from killing Sherlock. John then confesses to the hallucinatory Mary that he's been seeing that he cheated on her emotionally for the last weeks of their relationship. Then there's a big giant twist, which I'll talk about in the "pros" section a bit later.

So. Problems. I have 'em.

I seriously want to punch Steven Moffat for the way he writes his female characters. It's gone beyond what I can in good conscience ignore. Molly gets like two seconds of screen time, as we see that she's been helping babysit Rosie. She also shows up to do a drug test on Sherlock and confirm that he's got weeks left to live if he keeps using at this rate. Then she's never there again. What a waste of a talented actor and a dynamic character. She has become nothing but a plot convenience, whose entire character is there to serve the emotional needs of the male leads.

Speaking of which, Mrs. Hudson was sort of a bad ass in this episode, as she cuffs Sherlock and stuffs him in a car to bring him to John, tired of his drug addled ways. This was a cool scene, but take a closer look: we later learn that Sherlock had predicted John's whereabouts and had told Mrs. Hudson to take him there. We also learn that Sherlock's entire emotional state is a long-con to "save John," so anything that happens to him while he's high is still all part of Sherlock's brilliant plan. We also get Mrs. Hudson saying that she's "not their housekeeper," but all she does in this episode is take care of poor baby Sherlock.

Irene Adler. You've got to be kidding me. She doesn't show up or anything, but she does send Sherlock a text on his birthday. This gives John the emotional catharsis he needs to tell Sherlock that he should grab the opportunity to go make out with Irene or something, since Mary's dead and John knows that chances don't last forever. Or something. My God, the forced heterosexuality is making my brain hurt. (As a side note, even Mycroft is given a female love interest in the form of Lady Smallwood. Can you not just throw us a bone? A tiny one? Nothing?) Irene literally, literally said that she was gay when we met her back in Series Two. I cannot believe they're still pulling this thing wherein she's supposedly attracted to women except Sherlock Holmes because he's just so awesome. Ew.

Mary spends the episode as John's hallucinatory guardian angel, constantly encouraging him to get back to his predestined life on Baker Street with Sherlock. It feels a bit like a slap in the face. Mary was never my favorite, and I thought a lot of the crazy crap she did was forgiven way too easily. But to have her in the story just to remind John that he belongs with Sherlock is just... it's just... oy vey. It's almost like saying "oh, that was a fun little experiment having a woman around to mess with our bromantic relationship. But Mary's gone now, back to business as usual!" And you have Mary herself giving John her blessing for this. And John "confesses" his affair to his mental delusion, so that we can see Mary smile sagely and tell John to go be the man she always believed him to be. This is just blatant proof that Mary's entire character arc, including most definitely her death, was there to serve the emotional catharsis of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. It's Moffat's woman problem all over again. Some things never change.

And John... John's actually kind of a bad person? I don't know how to feel about this. Basically, Mary's plan was to have Sherlock fall so deep into despair that John would come through for him. But the fact is, John didn't. He didn't come to save Sherlock until he saw the video and realized that Sherlock was putting himself in harm's way to get through to John. Here's my big problem with this: earlier in the episode, Molly Hooper confirmed, with John standing right there, that Sherlock would be dead in a few weeks if he didn't stop using. And John did nothing. He knew how badly off the rails Sherlock was, and yet he still beat him to a bloody pulp and accused him of killing his wife. These things can be explained by John's anger and grief, absolutely. But for him to actually follow through with being a dick? For him to actually leave Sherlock to his drug-addled fate? The fact is, John's not an idiot. He sees how bad off Sherlock is, he believes it to be the actual truth. He'd need to be an idiot to not connect Sherlock's current state with Mary's death and their estrangement. And John does nothing until his dead wife shows up in a video to let him know that Sherlock is basically killing himself for John's sake.

I'm sorry, but... what a dick. This is sort of explained in the emotional catharsis moment, where John and Sherlock talk about their hetero love interests (barf) and John says that Mary was wrong about him being a good man. He says he wants to try and be the man she believed him to be. But that's just not... it's not... it doesn't hold true with anything we've seen of John's character. He is a good man. We've seen that time and again. He's loyal and forgiving and brave and smart and all of those things. His behavior in the last episode and in this one comes across as completely out of character. It's like they turned him into a jerk so that he could have an emotional breakthrough about how he's a jerk. That's not good character development. That's a lazy backslide leading to a cheap payoff. This development is also, apparently, supposed to be so that Sherlock could realize that John was "only human." I take it this was supposed to be a clever inversion. We've been so focused on how John views Sherlock, that we missed how Sherlock views John as this morally upstanding, untouchable god of goodness. Interesting in theory. In execution? Weak sauce.

Sherlock Holmes is always going to be a million steps ahead of everybody else. This is what makes a Sherlock Holmes story. I get that. In fact, this episode pulled it off successfully when Sherlock shows up at John's therapist appointment, having arranged to be there a full week before John even made the appointment. This was clever, and showed off Sherlock's deductive powers. The whole idea of going in to a drug spiral and using it to save John is also okay. But what I can't abide? He's drugged to the gills and being kept in Culverton Smith's grasp. At Smith's request, he says "I don't want to die" several times, actually choking up and starting to cry. We later learn that not only did he swap out his IV with saline, so that he wasn't actually being killed of an overdose, but that he also had a recording device placed in John's walking stick, because he somehow deduced that John would leave it as a parting gift for him, and that this would be how he'd catch Smith's confession on tape.

Nope. I'm sorry, nope. The whole thing works better if Sherlock actually does lose control over his faculties. I wanted him to be in actual, real danger of dying due to his drug use, not just the fact that Culverton decided to suffocate him. Sherlock was pretty messed up all episode due to his drug use, but at the end we learn that his actual plan went off without a hitch. Which is... pretty lame.

Lastly, we've got Culverton Smith, the villain who ended up coming across as even more of a cartoon than Moriarty. He was creepy, sure, and there were a few really great and chilling moments, like when he's messing with the corpses in the morgue. But in the end he's just a standard ego maniac who confesses to all of his crimes once the Great Sherlock Holmes takes him down with an elaborate plan that nobody else could have put into motion with such perfect ease. It's a little bit of a letdown. I thought this guy was going to be the real deal.

Pros:

Oh boy. I had a lot to complain about. One of the most difficult things about this damn show is that right alongside all of these legitimate and very serious complaints you have... off-the-charts incredible acting.

Benedict Cumberbatch gave an insane performance as Sherlock Holmes. Last week, I thought he was a bit hokey when playing high, but this week he was on it. My God. I really don't even know what to say about this. I won't bore you with too many examples, but just... the look on his face as John tells him he killed Mary, and then the look on his face later when John takes it back. The unbalanced, out of sorts way he deals with Faith Smith (Culverton's daughter... I'll get there in a minute). I think my favorite bit was his breakdown when he tries to attack Culverton with the scalpel. That was pure unadulterated panic on his face. He was scared and confused and I really don't think that level of animosity was in his original plan. Sherlock spends an entire evening with Faith Smith, and later meets her and realizes that the whole thing was a hallucination. (Sort of. Discussion of plot twist is forthcoming). His reaction when he realizes just how far gone he is... wow. Sherlock needed to let himself fall out of control for the sake of the plan, but I think even he wasn't anticipating it to go this far.

I mentioned how annoyed I was by Mrs. Hudson's service in the plot, but I do have to mention she was a total bad ass. She turned on the tears to get John to agree to see Sherlock, kidnapped Sherlock, held him at gunpoint, shoved him in her car... which is an awesome sports car, by the way. She also called Mycroft a "reptile" and kicked him out of her home, which was just beautiful in like twelve different ways.

Sherlock and John's relationship. Okay. So. It annoys me that Sherlock was so many steps ahead of everybody. And it annoys me that John wasn't going to save him until he learned it was a plan. It annoys me that they talk about their female love interests in their one and only intimate scene together. But my God. That scene. Sherlock is timid and apologetic and everything else in between. He desperately doesn't want John to leave, and John makes it pretty clear that he's only there because he has to watch Sherlock and make sure he doesn't get high again. There's this moment when John gets up to leave, and Sherlock asks "are you alright?" He's not saying it because he thinks he should. He's saying it because he really, really needs to know the answer. Everything he's been through, all the pain and the drugs and all that, he was doing because he wanted John to be alright. In this moment, he just wants to know if his plan was worth it. John breaks down, after talking to Hallucination!Mary for a moment, and then. Then. Sherlock Holmes gets up and holds John while he cries. He rests his head against John's and just cradles him. It was just the perfect moment and even if the lead-up to it had its problems... wow. I'm so grateful I got to witness that.

We've arrived at the last thing I need to talk about: the plot twist. Which was actually sort of several plot twists nested within each other. Everybody has been waiting for the secret Holmes brother, Sherringford. Mycroft actually brings up the name multiple times. We still don't know who Sherringford is, though... unless it's a code name meant to represent Eurus. Eurus Holmes, the East Wind... Mycroft and Sherlock's secret sister. Not only is she a secret sister, but we've actually already seen her. Three. Times. She's the girl on the bus that John had been texting with back when Mary was still alive. She's "Faith Smith," the woman who spends an evening with an extremely high Sherlock Holmes. Turns out, not a hallucination after all... just Sherlock's sister. And finally, she's John's therapist, a woman who sits across from him and listens to him talk about himself. As the episode ends, Eurus reveals the truth to John, and then points a gun at him, holding him hostage.

Eep! These little shits have been planning this for so long. Sherlock talks about the "East Wind" back at the end of last season, and how Mycroft once used it as a scary story to frighten him. And we all knew something was fishy about that woman on the bus. And when Sherlock thought he'd hallucinated a whole person, something seemed wrong about that. And then suddenly John's new therapist... just... wow. We're all culpable, because we all (or at least most of us) didn't see it coming. This woman was in last week's episode, and she was in this episode twice, playing two completely different characters, and I didn't notice it was the same person. That's... really impressive. Not only from the actress, but from the script and the care it took to make these people blend in. Sherlock saw "Faith" through a haze of drugs. John interacted with his therapist across an emotional and physical divide that made him never truly looking into her eyes. I cannot believe John was having an emotional affair with Sherlock's sister. I cannot believe John is being held hostage again. How many times does that make it? I can't believe that Moffat used his disgusting and unfortunate trend of setting women aside in the narrative in order to trick us into ignoring the answer that was right in front of us. It was... brilliant.

I'm forced to admit that this plot twist did a lot in making me come away from the episode with a positive impression. I can't wait to see how the newest Holmes sibling shakes things up. Apparently this is what happens when somebody as brilliant as Mycroft or Sherlock truly goes over to the dark side. It should make for an interesting finale.

My concern, going in to our last episode of Sherlock, maybe ever, but at the very least for several years, is that there's really no way to wrap up all of these dangling plot threads. What about all the ominous hints we've been getting about Mycroft's death? If he does die, will there be enough time to handle the fallout? And what about Moriarty? Is he tied in any way to Eurus, or is this another dangling thread? I feel concerned about what they've taken on, since this show has never been super great at wrapping things up to anybody's satisfaction. We'll have to see how it goes!

7/10

[kerbieaddis]

Pitch Wars Advice

So you’re thinking of entering Pitch Wars. Good for you!

First of all, if you’re at this stage, it means you most likely already have a completed novel, which is an accomplishment on its own. Seriously. Many, many people say they’ve “always wanted” to write a novel, and most never do. You’re already ahead of the game!

Pitch Wars is an awesome competition and can introduce you to a whole new writing community, all while whipping your manuscript into shape. Seriously, I adore Pitch Wars.

Secondly, I completely understand what it’s like to be in your shoes right now.

I was a two time mentee. Once in 2013, and then again in 2015. We’ll talk about 2014 here in a bit… but I’ve also been a mentor in Pitch Wars, from 2016 to 2019. I’ve seen what it’s like from multiple sides, so I’d like to give you some advice for the journey ahead.

1. You don’t need Pitch Wars

This sounds contrary to what I said earlier, but it’s true. Yes, it can be a great help and introduce you to people, but it’s just a tool. It’s not a magical golden key to publishing.

I was in twice, as I said above, and while I dearly loved both those manuscripts and my mentors were great, neither snagged the attention of an agent. I got my agent with a manuscript written outside the contest, using critique partners to guide my editing process.

By far, it is not the end-all, be-all for getting an agent. Plenty of people find their agents through the slush, and plenty of people get lots of agent love in Pitch Wars that doesn’t result in any offers.

You can get by just fine if you don’t make it in. Which brings me to my next point:

2. You are still talented even if you don’t make it in

I know people keep repeating this wisdom on Twitter and it’s probably been mentioned multiple times on the advice blog hop, but that’s because it’s 1000% true.

There are a million reasons why your manuscript might not be chosen that have nothing to do with your talent. Maybe the mentors you submitted to just didn’t jive with your concept. Maybe your query didn’t do the story justice. Maybe someone loved your manuscript, but they found another that needed work that they felt especially qualified to handle.

The reasons above absolutely happen in the Pitch Wars slush. I know, because I’ve passed on books for those reasons. A book could be amazing, but maybe I just like the concept in another better. Maybe one book needs POV restructuring, so I pass on another project to help with the one that aligns with my strengths. Has nothing to do with the talent of either writer.

Also, I mentioned 2014 above. I applied to be in Pitch Wars in 2013, 2014, and 2015, all with different manuscripts. I didn’t get chosen in 2014. Does that mean I was suddenly untalented for one year? No, it means I wrote something that didn’t click with the mentors I chose.

3. Learn to wait

A lesson Pitch Wars taught me that I didn’t realize at the time was a great appreciation for patience.

You wait to enter. You wait to get requests. You wait for the mentee announcements. If you get in, you wait to get your mentor’s notes. You wait to see if they approve the edits. You wait for the showcase. You wait to see if you get any love from agents.

It’s a LOT of waiting.

This is great preparation for how things work in the publishing industry. You send off queries and you wait. You get a request, send it off, and wait. Even once you have an agent, it’s a lot of waiting, especially when you’re on submission.

Believe me. I’m on submission now and it’s so, so much waiting.

Some people are fine with waiting and they can shut off the writing part of their brain and go about their lives. Some people, like me, feel like they must always have an active writing project, so they move on to the next thing to have a fresh manuscript ready as soon as possible.

Don’t wait and obsess. That’s where people spiral, and we don’t want that.

Learn to wait, and enjoy the wait. Figure out if you do best with shutting off that part of your brain, finding another hobby, or moving on to the next project.

4. Talk to people

I know, easier said that done. I’m quite shy online, even though I’m an obnoxious loudmouth in real life. But really, talking will help you find your people.

Start by venturing onto the hashtag. Reply when people ask questions, rejoice when someone has a success, be supportive when someone is feeling down.

I made all of my writing friends online initially. Many of them became my closest friends, and I was a bridesmaid for one! Seriously, you never know what kinds of great relationships will blossom when you start reaching out.

There are always writers looking for critique partners, and you can easily find someone willing to swap. Be careful and start with a few pages or a chapter to get a feel for one another’s critique style, and don’t be afraid to back out if you feel like you won’t work well with someone.

And that brings me to my final point…

5. No one has the final say except you

Sometimes you’ll get advice that just doesn’t click. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to disagree—even with your mentor. This is especially true for those of you writing about marginalized experiences.

One of my manuscripts from years ago included an #ownvoices main character with Asperger’s. My mentors were fantastic about listening when I explained what aspects were from my own experiences and how to incorporate those in a way that would be understood by readers who didn’t share that same marginalization.

They were great, but some other people weren’t. I had feedback that belittled the main character’s responses to stimuli or argued that a mental illness like mine was too hard to understand.

Trust your gut. Know that your experiences are valid, even if someone else can’t understand them on the page. It’s your book, and you have the final say. A good mentor will help you take those experiences and make them more easily understandable, but they won’t change those experiences.

---

I could write so much more about my experiences with Pitch Wars, but I think those are my main five points. It’s worth submitting, but remember that you’re already doing an amazing job.

Every step you take brings you closer and closer to being a published author, and even if you are passed over in a contest, get a rejection from an agent, or you’re feeling lost while waiting, you’re still inching closer to that dream.

Celebrate the journey, not just the end result. Putting yourself out there for a contest like this takes a lot of courage, so take pride in that. Re-read your manuscript and enjoy your own words. You did it, you wrote a book!

Just keep moving forward!

If any of you reading this want to chat a little about entering Pitch Wars or you just want to flail and have a sympathetic ear, hit me up on Twitter: @kerbieaddis. I won’t be critiquing any pages or queries, but I’m totally open to listening and helping where I can.