#ill elaborate eventually maybe

[maybetheyregiants]

Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley is Half Life 3

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

umm trying to figure out how 2 draw piccolo...

i just think having no friends his age and being around piccolo all the time as a teenager would have an affect on gohans formative years

[p2iimon]

(she/her) zoe! lex's sister. shes normal

[disastercit]

ered, being the closest to ross’s age (according to facts i made up), is who he hangs out around most at camp. he’s not sure why she hangs out with him, considering his status as Basically A Prisoner and also his general swagless nature, but he’s glad to have someone to talk to that isn’t 10 or 25.

[nicohischier]

how many times can one person cry in the 24 hours before a devils game? the answer? 3 times.

[wolvierinez]

i have very complex thoughts about logan just as a character that i can't really articulate right now but he's just inherently. and he tries to not be. but it's just a reflex for him at this point to. and he.

[caffeinatedopossum]

I just realized something really sad

I have two best friends outside of tumblr (my only irls that aren't roommates basically) and one of them I try to talk to constantly but she doesn't always respond, in fact she kind of barely does. I want to talk to her all the time but I always feel like I'm boring her or like she doesn't understand why I can't do some of the things I can't do.

The other one is always trying to talk to me, usually trying to call me. But I rarely ever pick up or respond or text first. My relationship with her is really complicated because some of my alters are very hurt from some things she did a while ago, others just don't trust her, and then the ones that front when we talk love her.

I have so many mixed feelings and the switches triggered by that mean I always don't answer or forget because I have dissociative amnesia about her trying to contact me in the first place... I don't know, I don't want to make excuses for myself but I genuinely don't know if this is a valid reason for treating her the way I do or if I'm an awful friend. Of course, it could also be both. I just don't know what to do. I don't want her to feel neglected by me like I sometimes do with my other friend.

[prettyforwoso]

Intertwining Legs

Alexia Putellas x reader smut

MASTERLIST

Warnings/ Summary: Soft needy smut, dom!alexia, sub!reader, fingering, scissoring

a/n: I've been gone. But now I'm back! HAhaha. I wrote this bc I fear there is a scissoring lesbian smut shortage-and we cannot be having that!

enjoy :)

The feeling between your legs has only been growing over the past few days. You were desperate for your girl, yearning for her to make you feel good. 

Alexia would usually never hesitate to give you exactly what you want, never wanting anything more than to get you in the headspace that you needed to be in. However, recently it's been different, with you still recovering from a recent illness, Alexia has become more hesitant about how she handles you- not wanting to push you too hard in your current state. You tried and tired to reassure her that you were fine, but it was no use. 

You eventually gave up, and with this new mindset, you acquired a new found frustration. You would only admit to yourself that maybe a little of this frustration was completely made up and in reality, an elaborate play to get more of Alexia's attention as she tried to figure out what was wrong. Little did you know- Alexia was very much aware of this too, however played along, with the intent of not upsetting her baby. 

Alexia knew you needed something to ground you at the moment, something to blame your anger and frustration on. In reality, it was clear to Alexia that there was a lot more going on in your head. You had been home, sick for a week, with nothing to do, bored out of your own mind. You were recovering now, but still not able to go back to training for a few days. In the back of her mind, she felt guilty that she wasn’t entertaining you, but she knew it was for the best. 

Your illness was easy to blame on your body being overworked and you not resting enough, you mostly just had a headache and sleepiness- it doesn't take a scientist to work that out. Therefore, Alexia didn’t have to worry about getting sick. She showed you all the love she could that didn't risk dangering your delicate form. 

You felt otherwise, and you made that as clear as you could over the past few days. 

“Are you coming to bed bebita?” Alexia speaks from the bed. She has her head in a book, as if to do more than just read it. You walk around the room finishing your bedtime routine. You stand and face her, dressed in your pajama top and underwear. “Yes… I can’t find my pants” 

Alexia breaks contact with her book to look at you when you speak however, doesn’t reply. 

You soon give up on the search, climbing into bed and taking your underwear off on the way. You curl up next to Alexia and she pulls her arm around you. “What are you reading baby?” You ask, looking up at her from her side. She looks down at you and presses a kiss to your forehead. She opps to not answer your question with words, instead closing the book over her thumb marking the page and shows you the cover. It’s one of the many books you got her for christmas, she’s been slowly making her way through them all. 

This kind of domesticity wasn’t abnormal in your relationship, Alexia usually stayed awake longer than you, working and then later coming and joining you in bed, or staying up reading in bed, with you wrapped up on her side. You are usually quick to roll over and fall asleep, usually taking Alexia arm with you and holding the side of your face, laying against it, or having her wrap it around your face and stroking your cheek with her thumb.

Tonight wasn't any different. Your eyes fell shut as Alexia turned the pages of her novel, too deep in the narrative to switch off and go to sleep. 

You were in and out of a shallow sleep by the time Alexia breaks from her book. Your delicate snores lead her towards you as she folds the corner of her page and closes the book, leaving it on the bedside table. She wraps her arms around your much smaller figure, pulling you closer to her and she shoves her face into your neck, engulfing herself in your scent. Your skin is smooth as she runs her nose along your neck. “Mhmm I love you so much my girl” 

She is aware you are asleep, however always says it anyway. You make muffled sleeping sounds as she moves around behind you, getting comfortable. You're now slowly becoming more awake, more awake and more aware of her. She's watching you, hovering above you and watching you. 

You crack your eyes open and look at her, vision still foggy from your state of sleep. “Eres tan hermosa mi amor” She says, breaking the silence. You roll your eyes and she pouts. “Where is my babygirl's smile huh?” She teasingly asks. “Alexia, I was sleeping” You joke back, the smile slowly creeping into the side of your mouth. Alexia's face gets closer as she brings her lips to yours, placing a soft kiss on your tender lips. “Wake up for me” she breaks the kiss. “Please, let me touch you.”

You're not sure what about Alexia's book that had got her in this mindset, but you had just woken up, and it was the middle of the night. Right now all you wanted from Alexia was her own body, her own hands and face. You needed it, close to you. 

Alexia's large hands are soon slowly rolling you over so you are laying flat on top of her, facing the ceiling. She shuffles up the bed so her upper body rests in the pillows as her face returns to your neck. You're starting to squirm on top of her, your legs falling open. “Alexia, baby” you breathe out.

“Shhh, you’re okay, ten paciencia mi amor” she whispers in your ear. Almost in the way you would expect her to talk to a pet. 

Her hands are beginning to wonder by the time her lips leave your neck, allowing you to turn your face into her. You're not wearing any underwear, just your top. You wouldn't be surprised if Alexia could feel your wetness dripping down onto her own core. 

And she absolutely could. It only had her more frantic with her hands, desperate to reach your core as soon as possible, not forgetting to give your nipples some love. 

Alexia was really no stranger to your boobs, frequently having one in her mouth, sometimes even falling asleep sucking on one of your nipples, molding the other one with her hand. 

One of Alexia's hands is soon to arrive where you are desperate for it, the other playing with your hard nipples. “Can I touch you here baby” she asks gently, as if it was your first time all over again. “Si us plau” you reply. Your attempt to speak the Catalans langage has always been a turn on for her, and in this moment, motivation.

Her long skilled fingers make themselves known at your core, moving from your clit to your hole consistently, making you squirm more. Her middle finger dips inside and you moan. Alexia smiles widely. Her finger moves from her knuckle, up and down inside you until you begin to shake, her palm pushing against your clit and she moves her hand with her consistent motions. The rhythm of it all begins to form the feeling in your stomach. “Alexia, oh fuck baby. I’m gonna come” You speak into her side, attempting to hide your face. “Whenever you’re ready princess, come for me” she answers. The hand on your boobs now comes down to hold your legs open and your warmth begins to take over. You grab a hold of her thick forearm with both hands as your body goes limp, you breathe through it like Alexia taught you to. 

“Good girl, good baby” she coos in your ear as you ride through your high. You're a moaning mess, breathing hard fast. “Shhhh, breathe for me, you’re ok baby. Et tinc”

As you begin to calm down, you realise that Alexia is no longer under you, now between your legs, stripped and rubbing your thighs with her hands.

You're too soon back to a normal state, eyes open and mind working again. “There's my pretty girl” Alexia says, coming up to your face and placing a small gentle peck on your lips. You simply squirm and moan in response- not abnormal for you in your post blitz. 

Alexia picks up your hips and tilts them a little more upward, making sure that you are still comfortable. Suddenly she is swinging her leg over yours and placing her own core against yours. 

This act of pure intimacy is something you absolutely yearned for. You loved when Alexia would strap you, filling you up, but there was something so special about interwinding your legs with each other and feeling each other in a most intimate way. 

Your head falls back into her pillow as she begins to roll her hips against yours. It was so gentle. 

Her head is soon coming to lay on your chest as the two of you create a rhythm of grinding on each other's cores. You hold one another as if this was nothing more than a soft cuddle after a long day. 

You both synchronize your breathing and moans as if neither one of you is in control, both just simply enjoying each others bodies. “Oh fuck, fuck baby. T'estimo tant” You say between breaths. “Jo també t'estimo, my sweet, sweet girl”

A new kiss is introduced, it's messy, as is her grinding against you. Lips and tongue with a mind of their own as the two of you put all of your focus in helping the other reach a climax. 

It’s coming. You can feel it in her legs. 

“Fuck, Oh my god, eghgh” Alexia looks down between your legs, the two of you making an absolute mess of one another. “Fuck are you coming baby? Come with me. Please, please my girl. Let me feel you” She trails off as she begins to shake. 

Your head falls back and she guides you through your second fall of the night. It's bigger, more high, you can’t keep your eyes open. You can hear Alexia as she screams through her own high, moving her body to sit up on your core, still grinding. She squeezes your ankle and pushes your legs more open, desperate to get more from you and she rides her high. 

The two of you soon fall quiet, the only sound in the air being you trying to catch your breath. Alexia lays back on your chest, your hands finding her hair. “Déu, t'estimo nena meva”. She turns her head and kisses your stomach. “I love you too” You speak back, looking down at her. “And thank you for looking after me” 

She looks up at you and smiles “Always.

[planckstorytime]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard: Strangled by Gentle Hands

*The following contains spoilers*

“You would risk everything you have in the hope that the future is better? What if it isn’t? What if you wake up to find the future you shaped is worse than what was?”

– Solas, Dragon Age: Inquisition (2014)

I. Whatever It Takes

My premium tickets for a local film festival crumpled and dissolved in my pants pocket, unredeemed as they swirled in the washing machine. Throughout that October weekend in 2015, I neglected my celebratory privileges, my social visits to friends, and even my brutal honors literary theory class. All because a golden opportunity stretched before me: a job opening for a writing position at the once-legendary BioWare, with an impending deadline.

The application process wasn’t like anything I’d seen before. Rather than copy+paste a cover letter and quickly swap out a couple of nouns here and there, this opening required me to demonstrate my proficiency in both words and characters – namely, BioWare’s characters. Fanfiction wasn’t normally in my wheelhouse – at the time, I had taken mainly to spinning love sonnets (with a miserable success rate). But I wouldn’t balk at this chance to work on one of my dream franchises – especially since the job prospects for fresh English BAs weren’t exactly promising. So, I got to work crafting a branching narrative based on the company’s most recent title: Dragon Age: Inquisition. Barely two months prior, I saw the conclusion of that cast’s story when the Inquisitor stabbed a knife into a map and swore to hunt her former ally, Solas, to the ends of the earth. Now it was my turn to puppeteer them, to replicate the distinct voice of each party member and account for how they’d react to the scenario I crafted. And if it went well, then maybe I’d be at the tip of the spear on that hunt for Solas. Finishing the writing sprint left me exhausted, but also proud of my work.

The folks at BioWare obviously felt differently, because I received a rejection letter less than a week later. Maybe they found my story trite and my characterization inaccurate, or maybe they just didn’t want to hire a student with no professional experience to his name. Regardless, I was devastated. It wouldn’t be until years later that I learned that, had my application been accepted, I likely would’ve been drafted into working on the studio’s ill-fated looter shooter, Anthem (2019), noteworthy for its crunch and mismanagement. My serendipitous rejection revealed that sometimes the future you strive to build was never meant to match your dreams. What seemed like an opportunity to strike oil actually turned out to be a catastrophic spill.

Still, my passion for the Dragon Age series (as well as Mass Effect) persisted in the face of BioWare’s apparent decline. I maintain that Inquisition is actually one of the studio’s best games, and my favorite in the series, to the point where I even dressed up as Cole for a convention one time. The game came to me at a very sensitive time in my life, and its themes of faith vs falsehood, the co-opting of movements in history, and the instability of power all spoke to me. But I will elaborate more on that at a later date. My point is, I held on to that hope that, in spite of everything, BioWare could eventually deliver a satisfactory resolution to the cliffhanger from their last title. Or perhaps it was less hope and more of a sunk cost fallacy, as an entire decade passed with nary a peep from Dragon Age.

As years wore on, news gradually surfaced about the troubled development of the fourth game. Beginning under the codename “Joplin” in 2015 with much of the same creative staff as its predecessors, this promising version of the game would be scrapped two years later for not being in line with Electronic Arts’s business model (i.e. not being a live-service scam). Thus, it was restarted as “Morrison”. The project cantered along in this borderline unrecognizable state for a few years until they decided to reorient it back into a single-player RPG, piling even more years of development time onto its shaky Jenga tower of production. Indeed, critical pieces were constantly being pulled out from the foundations during this ten year development cycle. Series regulars like producer Mark Darrah and director Mike Laidlaw made their departures, and the project would go on to have several more directors and producers come and go: Matthew Goldman, Christian Dailey, and Mac Walters, to name a few key figures. They eventually landed on John Epler as creative director, Corinne Busche as game director, and Benoit Houle as director of product development. Then came the massive layoffs of dozens of employees, including series-long writer Mary Kirby, whose work still made it into the final version of DA4. Finally, the game received a rebranding just four months before release, going from Dreadwolf (which it had been known as since 2022) to The Veilguard (2024) – a strange title with an even stranger article.

Needless to say, these production snags did not inspire confidence, especially considering BioWare’s been low on goodwill between a string of flops like Anthem and Mass Effect: Andromeda (2017) and, before that, controversial releases like Dragon Age II (2011) and Mass Effect 3 (2012). The tumult impacted The Veilguard’s shape, which scarcely resembles an RPG anymore, let alone a Dragon Age game. The party size is reduced from four to three, companions can no longer be directly controlled, the game has shifted to a focus on action over tactics a la God of War (2018), the number of available abilities has shrunk, and there’s been a noticeable aesthetic shift towards a more cartoonish style. While I was open to the idea of changing up the combat (the series was never incredible on that front), I can’t get over the sensation that these weren’t changes conceived out of genuine inspiration, but rather vestigial traces from the live-service multiplayer iteration. The digital fossil record implies a lot. Aspects like the tier-based gear system, the instanced and segmented missions, the vapid party approval system, the deficit of World State import options, and the fact that rarely does more than the single mandatory companion have anything unique to say on a quest – it all points to an initial design with a very different structure from your typical single-player RPG. The Veilguard resembles a Sonic Drive-In with a mysterious interior dining area – you can tell it was originally conceived as something else.1

That said, the product itself is functional. It contains fewer bugs than any previous game in the franchise, and maybe BioWare’s entire catalog for that matter. I wouldn’t say the combat soars, but it does glide. There’s a momentum and responsiveness to the battle system that makes it satisfying to pull off combos and takedowns against enemies, especially if you’re juggling multiple foes at once. Monotony sets in after about thirty or forty hours, largely due to the fact that you’re restricted to a single class’s moveset on account of the uncontrollable companions. Still, this design choice can encourage replay value, as it does in Mass Effect, and free respec options and generous skill point allocations offset the tedium somewhat.

While the character and creature designs elicit controversy – both for the exaggerated art direction and, in the case of demons and darkspawn, total redesign – the environmental art is nothing short of breathtaking. I worried that this title would look dated because of how long it had been in development and the age of the technology it was built upon. Those fears were swiftly banished when I saw the cityscapes of Minrathous, the cyclopean architecture of the Nevarran Grand Necropolis, or the overgrown ruins of Arlathan. But like everything in The Veilguard, it’s a double-edged sword. The neon-illuminated streets of Docktown, the floating citadel of the Archon’s Palace, and the whirring mechanisms of the elven ruins evoke a more fantastically futuristic setting that feels at odds with all three previous titles (even though all three exhibited a stylistic shift to some extent). It aggravates the feeling of discordance between this rendition of Thedas and the one returning players know.

All of these elements make The Veilguard a fine fantasy action-adventure game – even a good one, I’d say. But as both the culmination of fifteen years of storytelling and as a narrative-based roleplaying game – the two most important facets of its identity – it consistently falls short. Dragon Age began as a series with outdated visuals and often obtuse gameplay, but was borne aloft by its worldbuilding, characterization, and dialogue. Now, that paradigm is completely inverted. The more you compare it to the older entries, the more alien it appears. After all these years of anticipation, how did it end up this way? Was this the only path forward?

Throughout The Veilguard’s final act, characters utter the phrase “Whatever it takes,” multiple times. Some might say too many. I feel like this mantra applied to the development cycle. As more struggles mounted, the team made compromise after compromise to allow the game to exist at all, to give the overarching story some conclusion in the face of pressure from corporate shareholders, AAA market expectations, and impatient fans. Whatever it takes to get this product out the door and into people’s homes.

This resulted in a game that was frankensteined together, assembled out of spare parts and broken dreams. It doesn’t live up to either the comedic heights or dramatic gravity of Inquisition’s “Trespasser” DLC from 2015, despite boasting the same lead writer in Trick Weekes. Amid the disappointment, we’re left with an unfortunate ultimatum: It’s either this or nothing.

I don’t mean that as a way to shield The Veilguard from criticism, or to dismiss legitimate complaints as ungrateful gripes. Rather, I’m weighing the value of a disappointing reality vs an idealized fantasy. The “nothing”, in this sense, was the dream I had for the past decade of what a perfect Dragon Age 4 looked like. With the game finally released, every longtime fan has lost their individualized, imaginary perfection in the face of an authentic, imperfect text. Was the destruction of those fantasies a worthy trade? It doesn’t help that the official artbook showcases a separate reality that could’ve been, with a significant portion dedicated to the original concepts for Joplin that are, personally, a lot closer to my ideal vision. I think it would’ve done wonders to ground the game as more Dragon Age-y had they stuck with bringing back legacy characters, such as Cole, Calpernia, Imshael, and the qunari-formerly-known as Sten.

I don’t necessarily hate The Veilguard (I might actually prefer it to Dragon Age II), but I can’t help but notice a pattern in its many problems – a pattern that stems from a lack of faith in the audience and a smothering commitment to safety over boldness. As I examine its narrative and roleplaying nuances, I wish to avoid comparing it to groundbreaking RPGs such as Baldur’s Gate 3 (2023) or even Dragon Age: Origins (2009), as the series has long been diverging from that type of old-school CRPG. Rather, except when absolutely necessary, I will only qualitatively compare it to Inquisition, its closest relative.

And nowhere does it come up shorter to Inquisition than in the agency (or lack thereof) bestowed to the player to influence their character and World State.

II. Damnatio Memoriae

No, that’s not the name of an Antivan Crow (though I wouldn’t blame you for thinking so, since we have a character named “Lucanis Dellamorte”). It’s a Latin phrase meaning “condemnation of memory”, applied to a reviled person by destroying records of their existence and defacing objects of their legacy. In this case, it refers to the player. When it comes to their influence over the world and their in-game avatar, The Veilguard deigns to limit or outright eliminate it.

Save transfers that allow for the transmission of World States (the carrying over of choices from the previous games) have been a staple of the Dragon Age and Mass Effect franchises. Even when their consequences are slight, the psychological effect that this personalization has on players is profound, and one of many reasons why fans grow so attached to the characters and world. At its core, it’s an illusion, but one that’s of similar importance to the illusion that an arbitrary collection of 1s and 0s can create an entire digital world. Player co-authorship guarantees a level of emotional investment that eclipses pre-built backgrounds.

However, The Veilguard limits the scope to just three choices, a dramatic decrease from the former standard. All import options come from Inquisition, with two just from the “Trespasser” expansion. One variable potentially impacts the ending, while the other two, in most cases, add one or two lines of dialogue and a single codex entry. Inquisition, by contrast, imported a bevy of choices from both previous games. Some of them had major consequences to quests such as “Here Lies the Abyss” and “The Final Piece”, both of which incorporated data from two games prior. The Veilguard is decidedly less ambitious. Conspicuously absent options include: whether Morrigan has a child or not, the fate of Hawke, the status of the Hero of Fereldan, the current monarchs of Fereldan and Orlais, the current Divine of the southern Chantry, and the individual outcomes of more than two dozen beloved party members across the series. Consequently, the fourth installment awkwardly writes around these subjects – Varric avoids mentioning his best friend, Hawke, as does Isabela ignore her potential lover. Fereldan, Orlais, and the Chantry are headed by Nobody in Particular. Morrigan, a prominent figure in the latest game, makes no mention of her potential son or even her former traveling companions. And the absence of many previous heroes, even ones with personal stakes in the story, feels palpably unnatural. I suspect this flattening of World States into a uniform mold served, in addition to cutting costs, to create parity between multiple cooperative players during the initial live-service version of Morrison. Again, the compromises of the troubled production become apparent, except this time, they’re taking a bite out of the core narrative.

Moreover, the game’s unwillingness to acknowledge quantum character states means that it’s obliged to omit several important cast members. At this point, I would’ve rather had them establish an official canon for the series rather than leaving everything as nebulous and undefined as possible. That way at least the world would’ve felt more alive, and we could’ve gotten more action out of relevant figures like Cassandra, Alistair, Fenris, Merrill, Cole, and Iron Bull. Not to mention that The Veilguard’s half-measure of respectful non-intereference in past World States ultimately fails. Certain conversations unintentionally canonize specific events, including references to Thom Rainier and Sera, both of whom could go unrecruited in Inquisition, as well as Morrigan’s transformation into a dragon in the battle with Corypheus in that game’s finale. But whatever personal history the player had with them doesn’t matter. The entire Dragon Age setting now drifts in a sea of ambiguity, its history obfuscated. It feels as gray and purgatorial as Solas’s prison for the gods.

Beyond obscuring the past, The Veilguard restrains the player’s agency over the present. When publications first announced that the game would allow audiences to roleplay transgender identities and have that acknowledged by the party, I grew very excited – both at the encouraging representation, and at the depth of roleplaying mechanics that such an inclusion suggested. Unfortunately, The Veilguard offers little in roleplaying beyond this. The player character, Rook, always manifests as an altruistic, determined, friendly hero, no matter what the player chooses (if they’re offered choices at all). The selections of gender identity and romantic partner constitute the totality of how Rook defines themselves, post-character creation – exceptions that prove the rule of vacancy. Everything else is set in stone. The options presented are good, and should remain as standard, but in the absence of other substantive roleplaying experiences, their inclusion starts to feel frustratingly disingenuous and hollow, as if they were the only aspects the developers were willing to implement, and only out of obligation to meet the bare minimum for player agency. In my opinion, it sours the feature and exudes a miasma of cynicism.

Actual decisions that impact the plot are few and far between, but at least we have plenty of dialogue trees. In this type of game, dialogue options might usually lead to diverging paths that eventually converge to progress the plot. You might be choosing between three different flavors of saying “yes”, but as with the World States, that illusion of agency is imperative for the roleplaying experience. The Veilguard doesn’t even give you the three flavors – the encouraging, humorous, and stern dialogue options are frequently interchangeable, and rarely does it ever feel like the player is allowed to influence Rook’s reactions. Relationships with companions feel predetermined, as the approval system has no bearing on your interactions anymore. There are so few moments for you to ask your companions questions and dig in deep compared to Inquisition. Combined together, these issues make me question why we even have dialogue with our party at all. Rook adopts the same parental affect with each grown adult under their command, and it feels like every conversation ends the same way irrespective of the player’s input. With the exception of the flirting opportunities, they might as well be non-interactive cutscenes.

Rook’s weak characterization drags the game down significantly. With such limited authorship afforded to the player, it’s difficult to regard them as anything more than their eponymous chess piece – a straightfoward tool, locked on a grid, and moving flatly along the surface as directed.

III. Dull in Docktown

On paper, a plot summary of The Veilguard sounds somewhere between serviceable and phenomenal: Rook and Varric track down Solas to stop him from tearing down the Veil and destroying the world. In the process, they accidentally unleash Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain, two of the wicked Evanuris who once ruled over the elven people millenia ago. With Solas advising them from an astral prison, Rook gathers a party together to defeat the risen gods, along with their servants and sycophants. Over the course of the adventure, they uncover dark truths about the origins of the elves, the mysterious Titans, and the malevolent Blight that’s served as an overarching antagonistic force. Eventually, Rook and friends join forces with Morrigan and the Inquisitor, rally armies to face off with their foes, and slay both the gods and their Archdemon thralls before they can conjure the full terror of the Blight. As Solas once again betrays the group, Rook and company have to put a decisive stop to his plans, which could potentially involve finally showing him the error of his ways.

The bones of The Veilguard’s story are sturdier than a calcium golem. Problems arise when you look at the actual writing, dialogue, and characterization – the flesh, blood, and organs of the work.

I’ve seen others chide the writing as overly quippy, but that better describes previous titles. Rather, I think The Veilguard’s dialogue is excessively utilitarian and preliminary, like a first draft awaiting refinement. Characters describe precisely what’s happening on screen as it’s happening, dryly exposit upon present circumstances, and repeat the same information ad nauseum. This infuriating repetition does little to reveal hidden components of their personalities, or their unique responses to situations. You won’t hear anything like Cole’s cerebral magnetic poetry or Vivienne’s dismissive arrogance. Many exchanges could’ve been uttered by Nobody in Particular, as it’s just dry recitation after recitation. It almost feels like watching an English second language instructional video, or a demonstration on workplace safety precautions. Clarity and coherence come at the cost of characterization and charisma.

Words alone fail to make them interesting. Most companions lack the subtlety and depth I had come to expect from the franchise, with many conversations amounting to them just plainly stating how they’re feeling. Most rap sessions sound like they’re happening in a therapist’s office with how gentle, open, and uncomplicated they feel. Compare this to Inquisition, where every character has a distinct voice (I should know, I had to try to copy them for that stupid application), as well as their own personal demons that it betrays: Sera’s internalized racism, hints of Blackwall’s stolen valor, Iron Bull’s espionage masked by bluster, or Solas’s lingering guilt and yearning for a bygone age. These aspects of their characters aren’t front and center, but things the audience can delve into that gives every moment with them more texture. The Veilguard’s companions lay out all their baggage carefullly and respectfully upfront, whether it’s Taash’s multiculturalism and gender identity issues or Neve’s brooding cynicism towards Tevinter’s underbelly. You’ve plumbed the depths of their personas within the first few minutes of meeting most of them.

Small exceptions exist. Professor Emmerich Volkarin stands out from the rest of the cast as a particularly inspired character: a charming, Vincent Price-like necromancer. His attachment to tombs and necromancy as a way to cope with his crippling fear of death makes for curiously compelling melodrama. The way in which he ultimately has to face his fear – either by foregoing his opportunity for immortality to save his beloved skeletal ward, Manfred, or by allowing his friend to pass on so that he can transcend into a new type existence – rises above the other binary choices in the game by being both narratively interesting and legitimately difficult to judge. Still, I feel Emmerich’s whole “lawful good gentleman necromancer” conceit, while a unique and clever subversion of tropes, would’ve worked better if it actually contrasted with anyone else in the party. Instead, the whole crew is full of unproblematic do-gooders who are forbidden by the game to nurture any meaningful interpersonal conflict. While I’d appreciate this lack of toxicity in my real-life relationships, fictional chemistry demands more reactive ingredients.

The Veilguard’s developers frequently positioned the game as “cozy” and about a “found family”, but I can guarantee you that there’s more tension at my Thanksgiving dinners than there is anywhere in this title. This family would get along swimmingly even during a presidential election. The thing about the “found family” trope is that it’s more satisfying when it’s earned. Here, it represents the default state, the starting point, and the status quo that they will always return to. Any minor squabbles (Harding wanting to sleep in the dirt, Emmerich taking too many books on a camping trip, Taash not liking necromancy) are introduced and squashed within the same scene. They all feel so extraneous. There’s so little friction among the companions here that you’d think it disproves Newton’s Third Law. The previous games never struggled in this regard, which makes the choices here all the more baffling.

Beyond the intra-party dynamics, characters lack grit or darkness to them – even when the narrative absolutely calls for it. Remember how I described the necromancer as lawful good (to use traditional Dungeons and Dragons alignments)? Yeah, that’s every character. Even the demonic assassin. Lucanis is a notorious hitman possessed by a demon of Spite, and possibly the weakest character of the game. This may or may not be due to the fact that his writer, Mary Kirby, was laid off mid-development. Regardless, he has noticeably less content than the other party members and generally feels unfinished. The demonic possession storyline goes nowhere; he doesn’t exorcise Spite, nor does he learn more about it or how to live with it. Instead, Spite is just an excuse to give Lucanis cool spectral wings (which he will use to fail several assassination attempts). The demon itself mostly just comes across as rude rather than threatening. The biggest issue, however, stems from the absence of any edge to Lucanis. When confronting his traitorous cousin, Ilario – the man who sold out Lucanis’s family to an enemy faction, kidnapped his grandmother, and made multiple attempts on his life – our grizzled, hardened assassin, pushed to the brink, demands… due process. Seriously, if your choices have led Lucanis to have a hardened heart, his method for dealing with the grievous traitor is sending him to jail. That’s The Veilguard’s idea of vindictive brutality among a clan of unforgiving murderers-for-hire. By contrast, Inquisition features Sera insubordinately murdering a stuck-up nobleman for talking too much. I believe that if modern BioWare had written The Godfather (1972), it would’ve ended with Michael Corleone recommending his brother-in-law to attend confession and seek a marriage counselor.

The writers seem intent on making the cast wholly unproblematic, with no way that the audience could ever question their morality or taste the delicious nuance of seeing someone you like do something bad. Measures were taken to child-proof every aspect of the good guys so that they couldn’t possibly be construed as anything else – even if it constricts them to the point of numbness and eventual atrophy.

To make things as palatable and accessible as possible, the language itself was dumbed down. Characters make frequent use of neologisms and bark phrases like “Suit up,” or “These guys go hard.” It emulates popular blockbuster superhero stuff rather than staying true to the diction the series traditionally employed. It’s all about the team, and the entire Dragon Age world has been stripped down into simplistic conflicts and recognizable stock characters.

This is why The Veilguard’s story largely fails. Despite being ostensibly being about the characters, they come off as an afterthought. Most of the time, only the sole requisite follower has anything to say on a given mission. Even in combat, their wholeness as fully-implemented party members falls short of expectations. Their damage output pales in comparison to the Rook’s, they have no health and cannot be downed in battle, and they mainly exist to give the player three extra ability slots. That’s the game’s true ethos for the companions, whether in combat or dialogue – utility, tools to make things happen rather than elegantly crafted identities. We end up with the largest amount of content per companion among any game in the franchise, only to have the weakest roster.

I know these writers can do better, because I’ve seen them do better. Trick Weekes wrote Iron Bull, Cole, and Solas in Inquisition, as well as Mordin Solus and Tali’Zorah in Mass Effect 2 (2010) and Mass Effect 3. Mary Kirby wrote Varric throughout the series, as well as Sten and Loghain in Origins. Plenty of other experienced writers, such as Sylvia Feketekuty and John Dombrow also contributed, so I can’t put any of the blame on a lack of skill. I don’t know if the mistake was trying to appeal to a wider audience, or if the constant reorientations of the DA4 project drained the crew’s passion and left them lacking in time to polish things.

I personally suspect that the writers had to rush out a script for all of the voiced dialogue. A video from August of 2020 showed off the voice actors for Davrin and Bellara, more than four years before the final game’s release. I think the codex entries, letters, and missives that you find throughout the game, which consist of only text, are much better written than the dialogue. My theory is that the writers had more time to revise and spruce up these tidbits, where edits were minimally invasive, as far as production is concerned. But my knowledge is limited; after all, BioWare rejected my application almost a decade ago.

Still, there are aspects of The Veilguard’s plot that I enjoy. The lore reveals were particularly satisfying2, and many felt rewarding after a decade of speculation. I called that elves were originally spirits, as well as the connection between the Archdemons and the Evanuris, but I wouldn’t have guessed that the Blight formed out of the smoldering rage of the Titans’ severed dreams. I’d concisely describe The Veilguard’s story as the opposite of Mass Effect 3: Whereas ME3 did excellent character work, the characterization in The Veilguard leaves much to be desired. Whereas ME3’s tone was overwhelmingly grim, The Veilguard feels inappropriately positive. Whereas ME3’s lore reveals ruined much about the series’s mystique, The Veilguard’s helped tie the setting’s history together. And whereas ME3 fumbled the ending about as much as it possibly could, The Veilguard actually coalesces into a spectacular third act.

While I think the twist with Varric’s death is weak (outright pitiful compared to the Dread Wolf twist of Inquisition), the actual events that make up the finale carry a momentum and urgency that the rest of the game severely lacked. Everything from the sacrifice and kidnapping of Rook’s companions to the slaying of Ghilan’nain to the awe-inspiring battle between the Dread Wolf and Archdemon Lusacan – the whole affair takes the best parts of Mass Effect 2’s Suicide Mission and elevates it to the scale of an apocalyptic series finale. Ultimately, Solas takes center stage as the final antagonist, and the drama crescendos to a height the rest of the game desperately needed. He remains the most interesting character in the game and perhaps the franchise, and thankfully, the resolution to his story did not disappoint me (though I would’ve preferred the option for a boss battle against his Dread Wolf form if the player’s negotiations broke down). So in that sense, I think the worst possible scenario was avoided.

But is that really worth celebrating? Averting complete disaster? Exceeding the lowest standards? In many regards, The Veilguard still could have been – should have been – more.

IV. A World of Tranquil

In my essay on Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth (2024), I briefly discussed a trend in media to sand off the edges so as not to upset the audience in any way. The encroachment of this media sanitization seems to be an over-correction to the brimming grimness of late 2000s and early 2010s fiction (to which the first two Dragon Age titles belong), which earned comparable levels of criticism. Like Solas, I occasionally feel trapped in a cycle of regret, where it feels like our previous yearning for less aggressive, mean-spirited content led to a media landscape that prioritized patronizingly positive art. Now it’s clear to me that, in order to have a point, you need to have an edge.

Dragon Age historically drew a very progressive audience, and many of them congregated around Tumblr in that website’s heyday. Tumblr has garnered something of a reputation for overzealous discourse and sensitivity among its userbase, and I think that the developers of The Veilguard, in an attempt to cater to one of their core audiences, may have misunderstood both that passion and the fundamental appeal of their products. They became so concerned about optics, about avoiding politically charged criticism, that they kneecapped their world-building, rendering it as inoffensive and sterile as possible. It’s not so much “PC culture” as it is “PG culture.”

To that end, the various governments, factions, and societies of Thedas lost their edge. Dragon Age previously presented itself as anti-authoritarian by showcasing the rampant abuses of power across all cultures. Whether it was the incarceration of mages under the Chantry, the slavery practiced by the Tevinter Imperium, the expansionist anti-individualism of the Qun, the restrictive dwarven caste system, or the rampant racism against elves, social strife abounded in this world. I think that’s one thing that drew so many marginalized fans to the series. But the correlation of fictional atrocities with those of real life frequently prompted volatile discourse, with many concerned about how allegedly allegorized groups were being represented. You began to see countless essays pop up by folks who use the phrase “blood quantum” more than any healthy person should for a setting about wizards. BioWare responded to this by making Thedosian society wholly pleasant and the people in power responsible and cool and the disparate cultures tolerant and cooperative. If nothing’s portrayed negatively (outside of the cartoonishly evil gods), nobody can take offense, right?

For starters, the Antivan Crows have gone from an amoral group of assassins to basically Batman. These figures, which previously purchased children off slave markets to train them into killers, are now the “true rulers” of Antiva, by which the official government derives its authority. The Crows in The Veilguard stand against the insurgent qunari army as heroes of the common folk. They’re not an unscrupulous faction that Rook is reluctantly forced to ally with for the greater good; no, the Crows are simply good guys now. When the pompous governor of Treviso rails against them, with such audacious claims as “assassins and thugs should not represent the citizenry,” we’re meant to laugh at the governor’s foolishness. The unintentional implication this sends is that lethal vigilantism and unchecked power are cool because the people who use it are cool and stylish. The slave trade goes unacknoweldged; Antivan children want to grow up to be assassins now. The Crows never do anything wrong in The Veilguard – the governor is later revealed to be cooperating with the invaders for their own power. BioWare avoids the unpleasantness inherent in the Crows’ concept by pretending it never existed.

Perhaps more ridiculous is the Lords of Fortune, a new faction of pirates and treasure hunters based out of Rivain. Except they don’t really do piracy or treasure hunting. The game goes to lengths to ensure that the audience knows that the Lords don’t steal important cultural artifacts from any of the tombs and ruins they raid. What do they steal, then? There is no such thing as an ethical treasure hunter – plundering indigenous sites for souvenirs is inherently problematic – but the writers wanted to reap the appeal of adventurous swashbucklers without any of the baggage, regardless of whether it makes sense or not3. It comes across as a child’s idea of a pirate: they’re not thinking about the murder and looting, just the funny men with eye-patches who say “ARRR!” The developers want us to like the Lords of Fortune, and to that end, they can’t do anything culturally insensitive – even fictional disrespect toward a made-up culture. This is doubly amusing because the Lords are represented by Isabela from Dragon Age II. The same Isabela that kicked off a war with the qunari by stealing their holy book, the Tome of Koslun. This irony goes unacknowledged by the game.4

When these rogue buccaneers aren’t busy giving land acknowledgments to displaced Dalish elves or whatever, they’re enjoying their nonviolent coliseum. Pirates revel in bloodsport, but only so long as no actual blood is spilled. The Lords refuse to fight prisoners or animals in their arena, as they find such acts too cruel. I guess they’re all big Peter Singer readers. Instead, they summon spirits to adopt the visages of common enemies so that the player can kill them with a clean conscience. It’s another example of wanting to have your cake and eat it too – they wanted to create a glory hunter/gladiator faction, but couldn’t stand the underlying implications of such. So they twisted and bent them to fit into their unproblematic paradigm, leaving the Lords flavorless and lame. They barely even contribute to the main story, and they’re practically the only look we get into Rivaini society (which remains criminally underdeveloped).

More tragic is the handling of the qunari, once one of the most unique and nuanced civilizations in the Dragon Age setting. The Qun, as portrayed in the first three installments, is a society that demands all of its composite parts work in harmony. Thus, they have predetermined vocations for their children, rigid gender roles, strict codes of conduct, and an ambition to “enlighten” the rest of the world. While the Qun has often been presented as antagonistic toward the heroes, the series has commonly balanced its portrayal by showing how seductive its absolutism can be for people without hope. In some cases, life under the Qun is preferable, as is the case with former Tevinter slaves. Conformity becomes comfort when the world is regularly threatening to split apart.

The Veilguard opts for a different approach. See, Rook’s not fighting members of the Qun in this game – they’re fighting the Antaam, the former qunari military. The Veilguard constantly reiterates that the Antaam, which makes up one of the three branches of the Qun, has broken off and decided to invade, pillage, and stoke chaos. BioWare didn’t want the questionable morality and complexity of fighting an invading people from a humanized, multi-faceted culture, so they removed their culture. Their efforts to turn the non-Western-coded qunari into something digestible for their mistaken conception of a modern audience instead results in two caricatures: one being a fetishized, perfect society where there are no perceivable social ills; and the other a bunch of rampaging brutes.

Contending with a realized conception of Plato’s Republic mixed with the Ottoman Empire makes for more compelling drama than a horde of murderous giants. Again, BioWare wanted to have it both ways, and they still needed nameless, faceless orcs to kill. So every bit about the qunari’s militancy, imperialism, and repression coexisting alongside some of their more progressive ideas and communal unity is stripped of its context and meaning. Blame is placed solely on the Antaam, who no longer represent (and retroactively, never represented) the Qun’s ideology. It’s a cowardly compromise, attempting to pin the blame of all the Qun’s failings on a renegade military and seeking to exonerate the political and social apparatuses of their culpability.

At one point, a minor character named Seer Rowan lectures to an ignorant human (a proxy for the audience absorbing these retcons) that qunari society has always been egalitarian in practice, with mages enjoying freedom there. Previous games showed that the qunari shackle their “saarebas” mages, stitch their mouths, cut out their tongues, and teach them to commit suicide if they ever stray from their masters. However, we’re now assured that this is only practiced under the Antaam, and No True Qunari would ever do such a thing. Ignore the fact that, in Inquisition, we witness the enslaved saarebas under the supervision of the Ben-Hasserath, a subdivision of the Ariqun (i.e. not part of the Antaam). In fact, the Antaam that Rook fights in The Veilguard never command saarebas at all. They’re completely absent from the game (likely because the image of the bound, mutilated minority was too much for The Veilguard’s sensibilities). Seer Rowan’s weak, conciliatory retcon can’t even justify itself in its own game. The scolding diatribe communicates an intrinsic misunderstanding of the Qun by the writers – namely, it continues the pattern established with the Antivan Crows that the mechanics of power in society are fundamentally good as long as aberrant forces aren’t in charge. While I understand the desire to be conscientious about the portrayal of fictional cultures that draw upon non-Western traditions and iconography (which have historically been demonized in media), glamorizing the Qun and stripping it of its realistic nuance does little to alleviate any problems with representation. If anything, it creates new ones.

But hey, now we have our faceless orcs to guiltlessly slaughter. That’s what the Antaam’s been reduced to, bereft of the ideology that made them people. We kill them because they’re strange and scary and foreign and seeking to destroy our cities for fun. They remain the most prominent representation of the qunari in-game, barring our party member Taash. BioWare’s attempts to reverse what they viewed as problematic components to the qunari instead devolved into the very tropes they wished to avoid.

Which leads us to the elves. Much of the series’s discourse has surrounded the portrayal of the long-suffering elven people, who endure slavery under Tevinter, expulsion from their homeland in the Dales, confinement in ghettos, and the general disdain from other races. The games’ stories use symbolic shorthand of real-life oppressed peoples to communicate these tragedies, and this has led to a variety of intense, emotional interpretations over the years. The unending misery of the systematically marginalized elves hasn’t gone unnoticed by the fanbase – and their criticisms haven’t gone unnoticed by the developers. To quote The Veilguard’s creative director, John Epler, in an interview with Polygon:

“Dragon Age has not always been the kindest to the Dalish [elves]. Somebody once made a joke to me, and it’s not untrue, that it’s possible to wipe out a Dalish clan in all three of the games in some way.”

He and others on the development team must’ve thought elves needed a break, because the omnipresent racism against them vanishes completely in The Veilguard. Tevinter, an empire built on the back of chattel slavery, doesn’t show any of that. Consequently, it feels like players in the know still haven’t seen the true face of Tevinter, despite spending half a game there. The notion that the capital of Minrathous gives now is one of a prosperous city that’s centuries ahead of the countries down south, rather than a cruel regime cracking the whip at every opportunity. Perhaps the writers weren’t comfortable portraying this, or felt that their audience might not be amenable to it after years of incendiary argumentation. Nevertheless, it castrates their established world-building and robs us of the opportunity to witness true elven liberation in the climax. With both the fall of Minrathous and the toppling of the tyrannical elven gods, we could have delivered a much needed catharsis after four games of oppression, but The Veilguard forgoes this storytelling opportunity to play it safe.

I worry that this hesitancy originated from anxieties about the sensitivity of depicting marginalized peoples in brutal, dehumanizing conditions, and how that might look to more fragile viewers. But I think it’s important for all players, watchers, and readers to know that, though there might be aspects shared between them, fictional minorities are distinct from real ones.

Dragon Age’s elves are aesthetically Celtic. Their residency in alienages evokes images of Disapora Jews in Europe. Their Long Walk after being driven from the Dales calls back to the Trail of Tears, sharing an experience with Native Americans. Their subsequent migratory nature is reminiscent of the Romani people. And their ancient empire of Arlathan, with its large columns and temples of worship, headed by ascended humanoid (for lack of a better term) deities that cast down an enemy called the Titans, and which has since had its religion and culture co-opted and renamed by Roman-inspired Tevinter invites comparisons to classical Greece.

My point is, the elves of Dragon Age don’t represent one group of people, because fictional cultures are constructs drawing from countless inspirations. If they represent anything beyond themselves, it’s the idea of a proud people that’s fallen under the yoke of conquering powers – a supervictim to embody all. The idea that one must be limited in their storytelling options based on how the portrayal might reflect upon or disrespect an existing culture is flawed, in my opinion. In the overwhelming majority of cases, coding cannot be read as a 1:1 allegory, especially in speculative fiction like science-fiction and fantasy. I believe the most mature way to evaluate a story isn’t to try to pigeonhole what it’s trying to say say about who, as if there’s some insidious encrypted message in the text. Rather, it’s to see the forest through the trees and interpret the work as a complete whole in itself.

On that basis, I ask: would it have been so bad to see some of those enslaved elves, praying for salvation, side with their manipulative, nefarious gods? To add some nuance to the conflict with Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain, would the story of elven liberation not have been better if the game actually engaged with it? Could we actually have a moral quandary with those whom Rook ends up fighting, even if the content might be seemingly problematic?

Epler might respond in the negative, per the Polygon interview, claiming that the gods “simply don’t care” about the elves.

“Those blighted, decrepit gods, they’re not bothering with the soft pitch. Their pitch is, We’re going to make a horrible world. We’re going to give you a lot of power, and maybe you’ll be OK.”

Like a chess board, the core conflict of The Veilguard is black and white. BioWare abandoned the chance to make Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain more interesting villains because it was too risky.

Similarly risky was Solas’s role as an antagonist, since his motivations, as explained in “Trespasser”, are deeply sympathetic. Perhaps too much so for the developers’ comfort. Unlike the Evanuris and their disinterest in the elves, Solas wants to restore the elven people to their former glory. At least, that seemed to be his pitch in the last game. Frustratingly absent from The Veilguard are the Agents of Fen’Harel – elves who swore fealty to Solas’s cause. They infiltrated and compromised the Inquisition, effectively precipitating the final decision to end the organization in its current form. The idea that Solas had amassed an army of common folk who found the idea of a renewed elven empire appealing made him appear formidable and intimidating. “Trespasser” implies that a mass uprising of elves under Solas’s leadership was imminent, and anyone could be in on it.

None of this happens in The Veilguard. Not only does Solas lack an army, but their absence isn’t explained or even acknowledged. As a result, Solas remains a passive antagonist until near the end, since the player has no disciples of his to contend with (either physically or ideologically) along the way. It wastes a side of his character that had been foreshadowed in a decade-long cliffhanger – that of a charismatic leader, capable of coordinating a rebellion that could spell disaster for its own followers.

In a Reddit AMA after the latest game’s release, Epler answered where the Agents of Fen’Harel disappeared to:

“Solas’ experience leading the rebellion against the Evanuris turned him against the idea of being a leader. You see it in the memories – the entire experience of being in charge ate at him and, ultimately, convinced him he needed to do this on his own. And his own motivations were very different from the motivations of those who wanted to follow him – he had no real regard for their lives or their goals. So at some point between Trespasser and DATV, he severed that connection with his ‘followers’ and went back to being a lone wolf. There are Dalish clans who are sympathetic to his goals, but even there, there’s an understanding that he’s too dangerous to have a more formal connection with, and that he will, ultimately, sacrifice them to his own ends if necessary.”

I find this explanation unsatisfying, not the least bit because the narrative offers next to nothing to imply this. The disappearance of Solas’s agents represents my biggest bugbear with the game, depriving it of the full potential of its highly anticipated antagonist in favor of the more generically villainous Evanuris. Moreover, this omission fits into the aggravating blueprint for The Veilguard’s inoffensive direction. The motivations, emotions, and backgrounds of the Agents of Fen’Harel would be sympathetic, and therefore might problematize the otherwise cut-and-dry conflicts. Epler seemed concerned that audiences might think Solas was “a little too sympathetic in his goals,” according to an interview with GamesRadar+.

But that’s the thing: sympathy isn’t endorsement, and portrayal of sympathetic characters isn’t endorsement either. But neither does that invalidate the emotions and experiences that generate that sympathy, even if the character’s actions ultimately turn toward evil. I’ve noticed a trend (especially in symptomatic criticism, which I generally dislike5) to view art as propaganda, and to evaluate it from a moralizing, top-down perspective. Antagonists with complex or understandable motivations (in this case, revolutionary villains) are often judged by this framework as tools for stories wishing to champion the status quo. Common arguments that I’ve seen imply that the relatability that we often find in villains is not a strength of the writing, but a devilish trick of ideology by which writers can reinforce conservative doctrine, to scold us away from certain beliefs. Any decent writer knows this isn’t the case, and that people don’t write morally or emotionally complex antagonists for didactic purposes. Instead, characters such as these embody the anxieties of their creators – the fear of losing yourself to your passions, the fear of going about things the wrong way, the fear of sacrificing too much to achieve your desired ends. The concepts and feelings that compel these characters remain authentic to the writer’s heart and the connection they established with the audience.

Art isn’t propaganda. To read it as such reduces it and promotes intellectual dishonesty and foolhardy myopia. Stories are irreducible (otherwise, we would not waste our time with them), and so I believe interpretations should be formed from the bottom-up, rooted in the text as much as possible. The “message” cannot be imposed from the top-down, but symptomatic readings, in their focus on tropes and cultural context, frequently condemn without a trial. Hindering your story in order to future-proof it for the sake of optics is a safeguard against this, and one that leads to bad stories. Artists should have confidence that their text will hold its ground on its own. To quote Ursula K. Le Guin’s essay “A Message about Messages”:

“The complex meanings of a serious story or novel can be understood only by participation in the language of the story itself. To translate them into a message or reduce them to a sermon distorts, betrays, and destroys them… Any reduction of that language into intellectual messages is radically, destructively incomplete.” (67-68)

BioWare’s doctrine of passive writing violates this wisdom by surrendering to their fear of (bad) criticism. The Veilguard lacks punch, stakes, and empathy and becomes incongruous with its established lore because it’s not willing to take risks that might alienate or upset players. They’re more concerned with making sure their work is inoffensive than they are with conveying a moving story.

I believe all of this was inherited from an incestuous feedback loop between a vocal minority of critics, of which I might’ve once counted myself among the blameworthy, and the apprehensiveness of out-of-touch corporate board room decision-making. Dragon Age’s genome mutated, and it slowly lost its teeth.

Over the course of a decade, we bred the Dread Wolf into a Dread Pug.

V. What It Took

The Veilguard’s lack of confidence in itself and lack of faith in its audience contribute to its capitulatory nature. In many respects, it feels like the developers lost their passion for it over the course of the ten year hellish production and just wanted to be done with it. This resulted in a decent game that nonetheless feels divorced from what came before it. It tries to juggle being a soft reboot while also trying to close out the series’s biggest and longest running story arcs, but inevitably fumbles.

Nearly everything done by The Veilguard was handled better by Inquisition. And Inquisition was certainly the more ambitious title. Perhaps more returning characters would have established a sense of continuity between the two, or at least made it less awkward by having them present for the story’s grand finale. For as strong as the endgame is, it could’ve benefited from the presence of slave liberator Fenris, elven history aficionado Merrill, possible Evanuris soul vessel Sera, or Divine Victoria (any of them). The core pillar of Dragon Age is the characters, and The Veilguard’s under-performance (and in some cases, outright dismissal) in that regard sabotages its integrity. Without this to anchor it, the changes to gameplay, visuals, and roleplaying depth become more alienating.

Personally, what do I take away from this? The Veilguard is far from the game I dreamed about for ten years, and not the one that loyal fans deserved either. I’m no stranger to disappointment at this point in my life, and yet this still leaves me with a hollow feeling. Will I still be able to return to Inquisition, a game I truly adore, and see it the same way as before, knowing now where all this is leading? The true cost of The Veilguard, for me, has nothing to do with the price tag: it’s the loss of that perfectly tailored dream, now that the possibilities of the future have shut their gates.

Where do those dreams go? Are they doomed to fester in their lonely, incommunicable agony? Will they be twisted by their enmity, like the blighted dreams of the Titans, and spread their corruption into those important happy memories?

In 2014, I was depressed as fuck, and Dragon Age: Inquisition helped me to see the light and come out of it. In 2024, I was depressed as fuck, and Dragon Age: The Veilguard made me feel nothing. There’s no less favorable comparison in my eyes. It’s disheartening to behold something that once meant so much to me and be greeted with numbness. I have to wonder if that affection will ever return, or if I’ve just grown out of it.

But as I wandered the streets of Minrathous as Rook, I heard a familiar song. It was one of the tavern songs from Inquisition, its nostalgic chords filling me with wistful sentiment. I know, deep down, there’s still something there. Maybe I just need to dig it up. Maybe it’s time to look back…

To be continued…

– Hunter Galbraith

Further Reading

Le Guin, Ursula K. “A Message about Messages.” Wonderbook: The Illustrated Guide to Creating Imaginative Fiction, Abrams Image, 2018, pp. 67–68.

Incidentally, this was an anomaly my friends and I pondered over and eventually solved. It turned out to be a former Wienerschnitzel. ↩︎

You could argue that this credit goes more to Inquisition and the previous games for laying the groundwork for said reveals, which were obviously planned out ahead of time, as confirmed by the aforementioned official artbook. Regardless, the payoff satisfied me and gave me proper closure. ↩︎

I’ve been informed that there is a hidden conversation that explains that the Lords of Fortune do, in fact, sell cultural artifacts at times, but only to the rightful owners. This just makes me wonder what they do with the artifacts if the prospective clients can’t pay. Do they shove them back in the ruins and re-arm all the booby traps? ↩︎

I would argue that this does not represent character progression on Isabela’s part, as her (possible, depending on the player’s choices) return of the Tome of Koslun in Dragon Age II was a pragmatic sacrifice she made to save her friends and the city, rather than an acknowledgment of the qunari’s inviolable ownership. In fact, in many continuities, she never returns the Tome at all. ↩︎

I prefer more formalist criticism because it allows the text to lead the dance, not the critique. I think it’s only fair, given that the creators likely spent more effort crafting the piece than I spent consuming it. Symptomatic criticism mandates that the reader consider everything around the text, typically at the text’s expense. In the worst cases, symptomatic critics make their arguments about seemingly everything besides the text in question. ↩︎ Link to article: https://planckstorytime.wordpress.com/2025/01/01/dragon-age-the-veilguard-strangled-by-gentle-hands/

[ninewhiskers]

squirrelflight never denies it because she doesn't want leafpool to come to any harm and crowfeather isnt alive to dispute it. [more under the cut i got wayyy carried away]

leafpool is eaten up with guilt knowing she's the reason squirrelflight is being ostracized. furthermore brambleclaw gets demoted after windclan finds out it was him and threatens to go to war if firestar doesn't punish him to their satisfaction. he makes it squirrelflight's problem every day; ashfur tries to comfort her but, upon realizing that she still won't be with him, joins brambleclaw in tormenting her. what's worse is that firestar makes him deputy* and he uses his power to make her do apprentice chores all by herself.

otherwise squirrelflight doesn't receive any formal punishment. but her clanmates are hostile to her for a long time. she finds herself lingering near the windclan border with leafpool just to catch a break from them, and to mourn his death with her.

nightcloud catches them while on patrol one day and they think she might call out to her clanmates but she tells them to go ahead while she investigates something on her own. then she launches into an attack against squirrelflight, cursing her for stealing her mate. squirrelflight starts to point out that she should really be angry at crowfeather for cheating on her, but leafpool interjects and reveals the truth. nightcloud sees the depth of squirrelflight's loyalty to her sister and promises to keep the web of secrets intact.

moons pass. thunderclan has yet to forgive squirrelflight because the only one sticking up for her is leafpool and she's really not supposed to get involved. nightcloud offers her support to them and as they find more excuses to see each other nightcloud and squirrelflight start to bond. nightcloud is impressed by her dedication to keeping leafpool safe and squirrelflight admires the way nightcloud will match her fire, burning alongside her instead of trying to snuff her out. eventually they fall in love; squirrelflight starts to go to the border without leafpool.

meanwhile leafpool is going crazy. she has to uphold this new, worse lie and watch her sister be punished for it. everyone figures she's just upset at how thunderclan is treating her sister but ashfur suspects something else going on.

he and brambleclaw plot together in a parallel to how he plotted with hawkfrost. brambleclaw catches a rabbit and ashfur sneaks poison into it and brings it to hollyleaf, watching the effects slowly chip at her health after she eats it. then he as it reaches a point of fatality he blocks leafpool from her herb store and demands that she tells him what she knows. she confesses the whole truth: the three are hers and crowfeather's.

hollyleaf's anger goes deep. she's angry that leafpool lied, that her existence breaks the code, and that leafpool was willing to let squirrelflight suffer for her mistake. leafpool tries to explain but hollyleaf isn't hearing it, and in a poisoned-induced fit of mania, she flees into the tunnels and the rocks fall down behind her.

leafpool believes she is dead and it's the last straw. at the next clan meeting she reveals the entire truth and is swiftly demoted by firestar. windclan isn't satisfied when they find out why, though; onestar threatens firestar until he reluctantly agrees to exile leafpool for breaking the medicine cat code and getting crowfeather killed by not confessing. squirrelflight insists on going with her because she's the only one who stuck by her side and they leave thunderclan together. nightcloud finds them on the border and urges them to come with her to windclan; she's told breezepelt everything and he, along with heathertail--an important figure to convice as the leader's daughter--are willing to stick up for them to find refuge in windclan.

the sisters are led into camp by nightcloud and flanked by breezepelt and heathertail, who protect them from the hostile glares. after they explain the situation to onestar, trying to convince him to let them stay, gorsetail** joins their team of supporters, moved by the interclan romance. she tells onestar that he'd be harebrained to hold a grudge when it was clear that crowfeather's wife and son had no ill will toward leafpool or squirrelflight. she also points out that he'd be wasting leafpool's skills by letting them go and onestar caves to their demands. squirrelnight ensues. leafpool gets to live among crowfeather's loved ones and shares tales of him they've never heard, and hears some stories in return.

au where brambleclaw kills crowfeather because he learns that crowfeather is the father of the three and misinterprets it as squirrelflight cheating on him

[metanarrates]

i am soooo curious about your takes on otome isekai villainess stories and their morality + gender constructs 👀 if you'd be willing to elaborate....

so villainessekai is a BIG genre. like. big big absolutely massive genre. because of that it's kind of hard to make sweeping generalizations genre-wise just because there are so many different authors with different takes on the general premise... that being said, I have enough time to ramble about some gender stuff I've noticed. maybe ill elaborate on the protag centered morality another time - my tldr on that at this moment is just "for a genre allegedly focused on humanizing women who were considered 'evil,' there sure are a lot of common double standards when it comes to how its protagonists behave."

(part of the protag centered morality, to be clear, is just kind of a common effect of self-inserty escapist fiction, but it's... just sort of weird and noticeable whenever it crops up in this genre. like i said i might yap about it another time. penelope eckhart you live rent free in my head what the hell is happening in vadd)

but yeah! gender!

quick rundown for those not familiar with the genre. villainess isekai is a genre of manwha + manga + webnovels + light novels that shares a common base premise. the protagonist has been isekai'd into the body of a fictional character from a story (often an otome game or a novel) she knows. the fictional character plays the role of a villainess in the original novel, and is doomed to an unsavory fate. the protagonist must try to change the story she knows to prevent her untimely end.

or, at least, that's the more original premise. the villainess genre is huge, and over the years, there's been takes that ditch the isekai component completely. time travel villainess stories are highly popular right now. some deal with reincarnation from a different fantasy life, like, 200 years in the past or something. some ditch the "main character has some kind of knowledge about a doomed future" aspect of the premise entirely and just lock in on the protagonist being considered an "evil woman" without messing about with any kind of supernatural foreknowledge.

but regardless. the common thread is that the woman in question is considered a villainess, and that she is almost certainly aware that she will meet her doom if she doesn't play her cards right.

I'll say here straight up that this genre is almost completely a power fantasy genre. we're about to get into whether or not the main character is "rightfully" considered a villainess or not, but no matter what the answer to that is, the main character almost always 1. is a member of a fantasy european-ish nobility 2. commands some form of social or monetary power and 3. will eventually obtain a lover of incredibly high social status. being able to be "evil" is often a huge component of this power fantasy, but there's a baseline of power that can be obtained even for protagonists who seem completely powerless at the start. you will always end with a protagonist in a position of unbelievable wealth, comfort, social respect, and power.

this plays heavily into the genre's treatment of gender. because what are the acceptable ways for a woman to wield power, even in the alleged safe space of a fantasy?

I tend to categorize villainessekai protagonists into two broad categories, for that reason. the "actually evil," and the "unjustified victim." while there's of course a huge amount of nuance that can exist between these two categorizations, in practice they tend to be extremely rigid. what we are actually talking about here are fantasies of "unacceptable" and "acceptable" power wielding, and the protagonists tend to be constructed quite differently depending on which fantasy they cater to.

category one: the "actually evil." while these protagonists can be quite complicated and often are unjustly treated by the societies they are in, they are still women who wield a huge amount of power and take quite a lot of joy in beating people over the head with it. they're sexy, confident, and will achieve their goals no matter what it takes, even if it does mean being viewed as evil in the eyes of the world. these protagonists are actually usually not isekai'd - there is no body snatching involved. they are simply women who have had Enough with the world beating down on them, and have decided that they're going to fight back no matter what. time travel foreknowledge is common but not always necessary.

the power fantasy here is pretty clear cut to me. inhabiting the psyche of the evil, undesirable femme fatale is a fun power trip and lets the reader think about how nice it would be to just... not care about social opinion, and to effortlessly outwit and trap everyone who has ever been cruel to them. no more being niceys you can just start beating people to death with your epic magic or whatever.

villainess isekai is a romance genre. because of this, there is a layer of romantic fantasy involved as well. the fantasy that you'd be wanted because of your cruel or evil or ruthless traits, and not in spite of them. also maybe sometimes you want a man who will bark like a dog for you ok i won't linger on it but there does seem to be a fair amount of femdom undertones in a number of these

category two: the "unjustified victim." there's subcategories to this in my head, but the basic idea here is that our protagonist is Nice and does not deserve to be treated as a villainess. either she's been isekai'd into the body of someone who sucks and now has to deal with the fallout of actions she did not commit, or she (or her body host!) are being unfairly villainized and treated as a scapegoat by others. this category is populated hugely by doe-eyed ingenues. while there's a fair amount in this category who still possess some capacity for unkindness or spite against the ones who have wronged them, most of them are kind, loveable sweethearts who don't want to hurt a fly.

the power fantasy here, I would argue, is actually mostly a persecution fantasy. while there is of course nuance & a lot of authors have a ton of different takes on this, the fantasy here is one about being treated unjustly and proving the haters wrong, either by having someone step in and rescue you or by wielding power justly to defend yourself. the fantasy is about being acceptable all along, good all along, and just needing a chance to prove yourself.

the romantic fantasy element here is usually about having someone recognize your true worth. instead of believing all the shit about you being evil or cruel or whatever, someone is able to look past that and recognize that you are a beautiful and kind-hearted woman underneath. also, again, he will save you from the Haters. (the truly evil woman rarely needs a savior because the fantasy is about saving herself.)

because of this, we get two pretty clear constructions of femininity. we have a dark feminine and a light feminine. sexuality & evil, sweetness and kindness. weirdly i don't think the genre super often has much to say about this. it just simply Is. here's your power fantasy - what flavor do you like? sometimes there's some feminist reflection on this in-text but i rarely consider that like... valid... unless the entire story treats women besides the protagonist well. kinda hypocritical to reflect on the role of Evil Women and still have women who are treated as Evil Bitches by the narrative.

hey speaking of. those also are some secret other categories of woman.

i might have mentioned in another post that the villainess genre Loves to reinvent villainess tropes by recasting someone else as the "evil woman" to our "good or at least sufficiently projectable woman" protag? yeah so here they are.

there's the classic evil dark feminine, which I won't linger on because we've all seen it. she's a nasty possibly sexy conniving skank who wants to steal your man. we've all seen it. Next.

but what's interesting to me is that there's also a category of evil light feminine. these are called either "green tea bitches" or "white lotuses" by fans, and they are often (not always) the Original Protagonists of the story the actual protagonist has been isekai'd into. usually it's some kind of reveal that the entire original story was a foul unreliable narrator's trick, and the white lotus has been using her apparent innocence to torment and vex our poor protagonist.

but regardless of her role in the Original Story, the white lotus is always the same. she seems very sweet, very innocent, very pure, very acceptably feminine, but on the inside she's a living nightmare who weaponizes her femininity to hurt people.

if I'm being generous to the genre, this can be considered a valid reflection of the fact that there are some women who weaponize femininity in order to put down other women. many of us have met people like that. it happens. it might be considered a power fantasy to "defeat" that kind of woman.

if I'm being critical of the genre - which I almost always am - I would say that having defeated one boogeyman of Evil Woman by turning it acceptable, the villainess isekai genre must invent a new boogeyman to pit its protagonists against. we're just redefining the borders of which sort of woman is allowed to be relatable and good, rather than challenging the base notions of misogyny and patriarchy that lock women into eternal acceptability combat. oh no we have a fake acceptable woman who must be proven as a fraud! the real Good Woman is right here! etc.

sort of my endcap on Gender Thoughts here - i would note that almost none of these characters are anything other than extremely feminine. we have a few tomboyish or crossdressing protagonists here and there, but they almost always shed that in favor of ballgowns at some point or another. I've noticed this as an aspect of heterosexual romance, but it does feel very strange to me how much femininity is on display. as a nonbinary lesbian, the world of rofan always feels alien to me. whether antagonist or protagonist, whether the character is "acceptable" or "unacceptable" in her femininity, this is a world where being genuinely uninterested in femininity as a woman is nigh unthinkable. there is always an emphasis placed on the fact that she is in fact a woman, and one who will eventually be desirable to men, no matter what the circumstances are! you could draw a lot of conclusions from that. my personal conclusion is that het romance is kind of scary and highly based in affirming gender binaries. :(

[weenwrites]

Optimus, Arcee, and Ratchet

Those 3 with human adult reader who’s homeless? I’m talking no home, lack of money, and I’m assuming that they stay at base the majority of the time. Also, they weren’t born homeless, they said it themselves that they caused it on their own.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Optimus

He explains that you are free to stay at the base if you have nowhere else to go, and if anything it would be much safer for you to remain here than out on the streets. Now that you're under the Autobot's care, he tries to be as accommodating as he can, but for the time being all he was able to find in the storage room was an old couch, a table, and a dusty tv, all of which were presumably from the previous inhabitants of the silo.

The base is very spacious, but the closest area to the restroom was upon the walking platform, and so that platform became your living area for the sake of convenience. However, if you wished for more privacy he offered the first room down the corridor (it is massive and a long way to walk though).

You don't need to worry about Agent Fowler, either. Optimus had already mulled things over with him, and he agreed to allow the bots to let you live there. Fowler even does what he can to provide you with food stamps and provide you healthcare for any disabilities or illnesses you have.

Every now and then he talks to Agent Fowler about you, and he brings up the same topic time and time again, and every time Optimus still receives the same uncertain answer that might as well be a fancy-worded "maybe". Sometimes he receives good news, sometimes there's nothing at all, but Optimus still hasn't lost hope that eventually you'll be given some form of financial aid.

Arcee

She doesn't mind having you around at base 24/7. If anything, it makes her job much more convenient because you're within range most of the time. When you were first allowed to stay at the base full-time, she showed you all the spare rooms, the exits to the base encase of an emergency, and any other rooms you asked to see. Since the base is rather large for someone your size, she recommended staying as close to the main area as possible, or otherwise it could be quite the jog to get around.

As she learned more about you, she has asked about your past from time to time, and however you mean "caused it on your own", she won't push you to explain if it's too sensitive a topic for you to elaborate on, or if you just generally don't wish to, she respects your privacy and she won't press for any more information. And even if you do tell her, she doesn't judge you for it.

She'll offer to be your ride any time you want to go to Jasper for whatever reason, and she tries to stick close to you encase things go south. The more she goes out with you in public, the quicker she is to realize that she sort of deters cops from trying to shoo you away. If you go to food pantries or food banks, she feels guilty that she ends up limiting what you can bring back with you since her alt-mode's not too convenient for transporting things.

Ratchet

He certainly isn't going to butt heads with Optimus about whether you should stay at the base. If you have no home of your own, you're at a bigger risk of being caught by the Decepticons. For the most part he won't have any problem with it, and he leaves you be so long as you don't obstruct his work.

You have your own designated corner in the base, it's the area that the kids currently hang out in, but you were most likely there first. You were also offered other empty areas within the base that would offer you more privacy, but whether you take them or not is up to you.

As much as he'd prefer to stay indoors so he can work productively, if you need to go outside for whatever reason he'll escort you to Jasper. He sticks out like a sore thumb amidst the other cars on the road though, so he still makes a point to swiftly take care of any business you have, as not to attract any unwanted attention to yourselves.

His understanding of human anatomy is very rudimentary and limited, but he's learned enough to be able to understand when something's wrong. And in the event that his own medical knowledge isn't enough to help, he's glossed over the route to the nearest hospital from the base, and he'll be sure to ask Fowler to take care of the expenses later on.

[mosaickiwi]

yoohoo!!! @nabi004 and @mialuna4 and that one anon!!! sick angel request!!! many thanks for the love <3

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

~A Sick Angel~

“Can you please—”

“No.”

The past few minutes had been like talking to a brick wall. [REDACTED] hadn't let you move an inch from the bed since you’d woken up in an agonizing daze.

Sure, you felt like complete shit, maybe a little on the side of a fever. And the moment you sat up you wanted to scream. But it was manageable. If you tried, you'd be able to make it through a day at the library. 

Blue eyes quickly narrowed, as if they knew exactly what you were thinking. It was frustrating how stubborn they could be when he wanted to.

You attempted to frown at your companion. Nothing really changed about your haggard expression—thanks to your face and entire body feeling like dead weight—but your tone worked well enough. “I need to go to work today.”

“Not happening,” he insisted as he reached up to your forehead.

You closed your eyes for just a second. His cold palm against your brow was too heavenly to ignore. “I don't want to let Elanor down. Today's really important for her,” you croaked.

They didn't bother to hide the momentary disgust in their tone at the mention of your coworker. “She wouldn't want y’working either, Angel.” As if to prove his point, they tapped away on your phone. He'd been holding it hostage behind his back. 

Only a minute later, it dinged with a response and he finally held it out to you. Elanor had sent a polite and elaborate text as always. You read through it while he continued to run both of their cold hands over your heated face like two makeshift ice packs.

Good morning, [REDACTED]. At least I assume so from how brief that message was? Thank you for letting me know Y/N is ill! I'm sure they must be worried about missing today's event but we can handle it just fine! And I’m happy to take some pictures for them! Please take good care of them and give my well wishes. Regards, Elanor.

You raised an eyebrow and scrolled back up to the paltry message he'd sent her.

sick no work

Somehow, it was probably the nicest thing they'd ever managed to send any of your friends. You looked back up at him with what was meant to be a pout. “Okay then.”

With instant trust in your word, he stood up to leave the room. He soon returned with his arms full. A cold compress, medicine, some drinks, and anything else they thought you might need. You lightly rolled your neck and resigned to your fate as a patient when he sat next to you. The medicine and drink he offered were swallowed without fuss on your part, then you laid down. The throbbing pain already seemed to calm as you did.

The compress stayed at his side instead of being placed on your forehead like you thought. You felt their hand on your cheek yet again, a more noticeable chill to his rough skin this time.

“Just in case it feels too cold f’you,” he explained before you even asked.

It felt perfect, so you didn't mind at all. You practically purred in relief at the gentle circles they rubbed. You tiredly looked up to him as you complained, if only to tease them, “I'm a little disappointed you didn't bring out the nurse outfit.”

“‘Course you are.” His eyes lit up with mischief, a knowing smile cut across his lips to match your playful one. “I'll make it up t’you when y'feel better, yeah?” Their thumb slowly traced back and forth from one corner of your mouth to the other.

“Germs, you weirdo,” you reminded him. Though you didn't bother to shake off his hand, weak as you were. “You’ll get sick.”

“Y’worried about me, love? Cute. But I promise ‘M not gonna catch whatever you have that easy.” They leaned down to kiss your flushed temple, eventually settling propped up on one arm to lay as close as possible beside you. Faintly warm breath tickled the top of your head until you drifted back to sleep under their watchful gaze.

[theorphicforest]

i finished season 4 of the umbrella academy a few days ago, after re-watching my beloved season 2 i’ve come up with thinks i liked and disliked about the season

so here is my rant.

Liked/noticed:

- Both Brellie ben and Sparrow ben died Because of Jennifer. imagine no matter what timeline your in you die because of your heart, brellie ben wanted to save her and not blow her up, sparrow ben wanting to feel seen and belong to somthing/someone (i love brellie and sparrow ben so much ill rant about him later dw)

- LUTHERRR went from being a Luther disliked to a Luther lover- he’s so silly omg i can’t-

- KLAUS MY BELOVED (that’s it a just loved seeing klaus will rant about what i didn’t like soon)

- Jean & Gene- before you say anything. THEY MATCHED EACH OTHERS FREAKS SO WELL

(when will i find somone who match’s my freak they way they match each others?)

- KLAUS AND CLAIRE OMG MY BABYS I CANT- HES THE BEST UNCLE 😭

- DEIGO, I LOVE HIM SM I LOVED SEEING HIM BE A FAMILY MAN.

DISLIKES (THERE IS A LOT)

*ahem*

why did luther get his ape body back, its not connected to his powers at all. they just did it to make two bad jokes didn't they

HOW DID SHE GET IN THE SQUID

they said durango was supposed to be more powerful the all the brellie combined if she came in contact with them but all she did was turn into a fleshy blob monster?

how did five start the commission?

why didn’t reggie just kill jenifer inseatd of making an elaborate truman show around d her? we all know he would have no problem killing g her bc he already did in the brellie timeline

how could claire and grace and the twins still be alive when their parents never existed. that would've created another grandfather paradox according to this shows logic i guess not?

WHERE IS SLOANE? AND RAY? YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIVE THAT THE RAYMOND CHESTNUT WOUDL WALK OUT IN ALLISON? I THINK NOT! if the actor didn’t want to/couldn’t be in the show i understand but at least make a good reason.

when Five meets the other Fives in the diner he doesn't show any symptoms of Paradox Psychosis

Diego dies without saying goodbye to his children

Abigail's storyline made NO sense at all

WHY ARE THE ALIENS?

Klaus' new powers are shown for a second and then for the rest of the season he's basically reduced to a prostitute, ruining all the anticipation of seeing his true strength that has been building up since season 2 and he lost all of his self improvement

why in the hell was Lila shooting laser from her eyes? where did that power come from?

oh yeah! AND WHATS THE DEAL WITH LILA AND FIVE? IT HAD NOTHING TO SO WITH THE PLOT AT ALL

AND WHILE IM ON THIS TOPIC WHY DIDNT DEIGO STUTTER WHEN HE FOUND OUT?

AND HE SAID LILA HATED BRACELETS (and traded on he got her for a Dyson vacuum) BUT SHE KEPT THE ONE FORM THE ASYLUM AND WORE IT FOR THE WHOLE OF SEAOSN 2 (AND MAYBE 3?) MAYBE DEIGO JUST HAS BAD TASTE IN BUYING BRACLETS?

SOBIBNG

i will do i post on why i love ben and Klaus so much eventually:3

[leox-un]

ok soul eater oc created surprise its jekyll and hyde :)

essentially he was having trouble as a weapon being partnered with others so he figured out a way to split his soul in half to wield himself, but its kind of. Killing Him because he doesn't have 2 souls, just 2 halves of 1 soul so hes on his way to Do Some Crimes Against Humanity

ill elaborate on them further eventually maybe but i basically made them to cope with the fact that theres like 5 crumbs of stein backstory so im Making It Myself

[hatopixlriffs]

This week, on CHC:

Flowers, trees, and dragons, Oh My!

Welcome to the CHC recap, my name is Pixlriffs, our writer is ZloyXP, our physical copies printed by Lyarrah. So much has happened in the past week and a half since the last recap, so without further ado:

Let's take a look at all the events and mishaps that occurred on Camp Hermitcraft, this week!

Starting with @gem-the-oracle, who caught a nasty bug, and spent most of the week ill in the Big House. Being the Oracle of Delphi of course, absolutely nothing could go wrong! Besides, it couldn't be weirder than her vision of purple flowers that were quickly identified as Hyacinths, the same kind of flower plaguing every Apollo kid and especially Apollo himself! This spirals into madness as @sungod7-fuckyoupearl starts getting texts from none other than Daphne, known to her account name @notoriginallyatreenypmh and the sun god as "The One Who Got Away". Apollo quickly undergoes the five stages of grief as he realizes this isn't a prank and @boatboynr1- who was turned into a cat by Apollo literally ten minutes prior- berates him with yowls.

Oh, and Apollo's dead boyfriend Hyacinthus seems to have been the one sending all the flowers. How @hyancithus is doing this beats all reason as he is stuck as a Hyacinth flower and can only communicate in 🪻 emojis. Daphne claims he's able to channel energy through her and the phone she stole but refuses to elaborate further. After a minor breakdown, Apollo teleports Daphne and Hya from their temporary prison of Italy to Camp Hermitcraft, where Daphne takes her axe- also stolen- and takes a breather in the camp lake. Apollo's hands are full as he does his best to take care of his dead boyfriend, whom is still stuck as a flower. A similar rescue mission is still ongoing, as @askhermesgrian, @camphermithater, and Joel have left on a quest to go retrieve @pearl-likes-hunting from some myserious woods. All at the request of @shutupapolloplease, of course.

And what do you know, a third retrieval is also ongoing! @hatotangoftek's metal dragon, Fotia, is loose in NYC and he scrambles to get her back before he ends up in more trouble than he already is.

@undead-daughter-of-heb attempts to help Tango, but not before blacking out and waking up hours later, with the Hebe cabin rearranged, nice notes everywhere, and people claiming that Gem had briefly possessed her. The strangeness doesn't end there, as she finds and almost adopts a stray cat in camp, before eventually realizing it was @askxisumachc who'd gotten cursed while shifted and couldn't change back. Cleo takes X to Camp Jupiter, where @lovemushroomsandflowers successfully returns him to human form. Ignoring the purring, cat tail, and cat ears that stayed behind, of course. And according to Scott, Xisuma also seems to have retained cat-like attributes, such as the innate need to chase a laser pointer.

(click for better size- couldn't enlarge it w/o crunchiness) Unluckily for Scott, or maybe luckily for X, @goldenqueenfalse ended up putting him in the hospital before he could test catnip on the acting camp director. This does mean that the fashion show, which most demigods have agreed to simply call "Prom", will be delayed some time, which is fine as some campers have yet to pick out outfits.

Some campers may need to re-choose outfits after ending up back as adults, as Cleo has figured out how to control her powers! Yay for Cleo!

Chaos isn't the only thing going on, as @asktheshreeper and @boatboynr2 spend the week hanging out and even make some shopping plans!

@askscarpjo makes head bead bracelets :)

@hatorendiggitydog also wants head bead bracelets. He then proceeds to dream about Tartarus and acts like thats normal. Etho is not convinced.

@askhatoskizz is not immune to his dad's dead boyfriend and after receiving Hyacinths, decides to do something else. He decides to take @erempulse to a musical and manages to get tickets from Apollo before the whole shrubbery shenanigans (see: above) go down.

@spoonsandmustaches spends his free time playing tech support for @hato-grumbot (ooc- run by the creator of the au himself: @ahllohehn).

@askhatokeralis spends the week running camp in Xisuma's absence. He's doing fantastic.

And finally there's @askluckskall, who's been contemplating his gender identity and is seeking help from Cleo. As of writing this, we have yet to see where this is headed.

AND that's about it for this weeks recap, our writer is ZloyXP, and my name is Pixlriff, physical copies printed by Lyarrah. Don't forget to leave a like while you're here, and follow so you don't miss future recaps. Thanks for reading, and we'll see you next week.