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#ill do something about this eventually
sabotourist · 5 months
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Fanfiction writers we stay silly
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holdmymetaphor · 2 months
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okay when i started rewatching house, it took me until 3x15 but i started to notice a pattern in house's wardrobe. the scene where foreman was trying to express sadness(?) at house's (fake) brain cancer they were both wearing pink.
After that I noticed that any time house was wearing pink, they were particularly vulnerable moments. Moments that he's feeling tender or open. Moments where he is being pretty earnest.
Then I started to notice that other colored shirts came up at different times. Light blue was his most neutral state, it represents logic and reason imo. Maybe a little bit of humor. There's a lightness or surface-ness to it.
Purple represents something like consequences or grief or guilt. any time there is purple someone is bearing the weight of a decision that was made, or a complex situation.
Black represents, as you can imagine, death. the darkest moments we see house in black.
The other colors aren't as prominent, but I have theories. Red is sex, power, life, excitement, ego. tan is neutrality. white is almost naive. green is rare and house never wears it. Dark blue is still logic but more solemn, more deep. its also interesting to note the times when he doesn't wear a t-shirt under his dress shirt and leaves like 3 buttons open (hubba hubba) and when he /only/ wears a t-shirt. I think his dress shirt is almost like his armor.
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coatl-cuddles · 10 hours
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" WIP DELETE LATER 🤪🤪🤪" ok who gaf?
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batsplat · 2 months
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OT3: casey stoner/his neuroses/the concept of valentino rossi that mostly exists in casey’s head
y'know I have this casey stoner... idk what it is. thematic mind map (literal), let's say, that I like fiddling with and adding things to when the mood hits me. and it does always strike me just how many of his struggles during his careers and issues with the sport can in some way be linked back to the valentino rivalry
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casey's sense of isolation? super valentino related. casey's feelings of cultural alienation in a paddock dominated by europeans? even when it's not really related to valentino, casey is the one linking those two things together. casey's issues with other riders not being respectful enough on track? very obviously repeatedly about valentino. casey's discomfort with the performance and entertainment-related aspects of the sport? more valentino. casey feeling treated unfairly by the manufacturers, the media, the marshals, the fans.... keeps coming back to valentino. casey's mystery illness really shouldn't be as relevant to the rivalry as it is, but somehow through this combination of public discourse and whatever comparisons casey's brain is cooking up at any moment in time... there valentino is again
one of the most charming things about valentino's feuds is that in each and every single one, both participants end up being deeply weird about each other? just keep knocking off these banger quotes about the other where you read them and go. hm. what's going on there then. I don't want to make it sound like I think casey is the worst offender with this (not when marc and valentino have their whole thing going on, bidirectionally)... but I do think he's the most susceptible to conflating his valentino issues with like... everything else that was going on in his career. to the extent where his alienation with the sport as a whole, his extreme disillusionment from everything related to motogp, really cannot be meaningfully disentangled from the valentino rivalry. at times it feels like, to casey, valentino literally is the sport. and that's the thing casey dedicated his whole life to!! which means you do inevitably end up regularly going 'wow there's a lot to unpack'. add in a dash of neuroticism...
and yeah you're so right anon!! the neuroses are what end up creating the version of valentino that mostly exists in casey's head, a version that casey is just a touch obsessed with. I always think it's interesting how aware casey is that he doesn't know valentino as a person - and to the extent casey does know him, he gets on pretty well with him... but valentino the person isn't all that relevant to him. it's valentino the character who matters - and can you even really know a character? in the end, all casey can do is rely on his own understanding of that character, as imperfect as it is. and, well, in a way casey is trapped with that character forevermore. if one man comes to embody a sport to such an extent and if that sport has been your life's work, how can you not be a little bit trapped? as he tries to make his peace with the sport and his experiences within it, so too has casey settled on a narrative of valentino that helps him make sense of it all... a very specific understanding of his rival that casey has shaped in his mind and still trots out now when he sells his own version of events to the media. casey learned from valentino, casey learned to be a little more like valentino, casey learned to fight valentino with his own tools, casey tells himself a story of that fight. he still continues to do so - and in the end he will never be entirely free of valentino
#'do you ever talk to valentino' 'i don't talk to europeans' casey buddy what's going on there#'everybody's going on like he's a crippled hero' *pinches bridge of nose*#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#heretic tag#'x fell first but y fell harder' but make it about feud escalation#it is. interesting. how little the two of them engage in laguna '08 discourse for about two years and then rediscover it in mid 2010#casey's very similar to valentino in that regard in that he doesn't necessarily lash out immediately#but he remembers. and he resents. and he seethes. and then eventually lets it all out and you go 'huh'. very valentino#like it is SO important to remember that after initially losing his temper at laguna... *most* of the laguna quotes are from YEARS later#(apart from that one early 2009 interview with an italian paper where he was clearly just in a FOUL mood like it's dreadful)#I genuinely think casey's mystery illness contributed more to the change in tone of that rivalry than laguna did#laguna laid the groundwork in terms of resentment but you needed something for casey actually to be willing to go ALL in#idk in a way it's the only rivalry where valentino is the one on the receiving end of Remember That Thing You Did Thirty Years Ago#like they ARE similar!! they're ridiculously adept at holding grudges!! they relish twisting the knife!!#I think it's interesting jorge was talking about how valentino is better at him at knowing when to choose his moments to lash out#because you can say casey did the exact same thing. he'd learned to clamp down on his immediate irritable reactions#and instead get himself to a place where he could attack valentino from a position of strength#basically they're the two aliens i'd get to go on a revenge quest for me. like i think they'd be good at revenge quests#conspiracy theories and revenge quests. that's what i think they're good at
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bitterseaproduction · 2 months
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On one hand? Ear infection became bronchitis.
On the other hand? Spent a sleepless night + morning in urgent care distracting myself with a brainstorm of baby Phoenix Wright actually managing to get face-to-face with baby Demon Prosecutor Edgeworth and interacting long enough for a) Von Karma to vibe check those two and b) Wrightworth to have mutual angst over Miles bonding with, then pushing Phoenix away to protect the both of them.
Queue a dramatic sequence of dominoes as Phoenix rebounds hard for Dahlia, then Von Karma gets Miles purposely put on the Doug Swallow case so Miles has to prosecute and convict Phoenix for murder (and thus get him killed) while listening to Phoenix’s hurt betrayal and desperate faith in him and his cooing over Dahlia Hawthorne, all against the backdrop of Mia spitting resentment at Miles and Dahlia both, yet inspiring Phoenix to fight back, and of course Miles would pull a Turnabout Samurai and suddenly start helping the defense and protecting Phoenix and the shock from Mia and relief from Phoenix even as he’s heartbroken again by Dahlia’s coldness (poor guy kicked by BOTH his loves in the same year!) and Phoenix is found Not Guilty but OH the fallout with Von Karma for purposely losing alongside Iris getting revealed early? Oh, the joy.
Long story short, Edgeworth leaves or gets kicked out of the prosecutor’s office, all while assuming the love of his life (the one he rejected and endangered yet ultimately saved) is going to get his happily ever after with his actually sweet girlfriend after all…
…And then Mia Fey approaches him. Questions his actions. Commends him. Offers him a job.
And on Miles’ first day at Fey & Co’s office, the first person to walk in is not a client, but Phoenix Wright, his face mask gone, an art portfolio bag slung over his shoulder, and that silly pink sweater of his swapped for a blue hoodie. Miles takes one look at the man and freezes up, and can only watch as Phoenix bows to Mia, thanking her before stuttering out a request to speak to Miles privately, all while shooting the new defense lawyer a wide, hopeful smile.
And Miles Edgeworth finds himself for once truly and utterly speechless.
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spookythesillyfella · 5 months
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" Losing battle of loss "
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liquidstar · 6 months
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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camzverse · 21 days
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i could probably like or even love william afton if he made any fucking sense to me as a character
#every time i try to think about him my brain explodes. he's so confusing and everything about him is so unclear it makes me furious really#i don't feel like elaborating. idk. he confuses me. i'll figure him out eventually. whatever#cam.txt#“this characters motivations are open to interpretation” WELL MAYBE I DON'T WANT THEM TO BE. MAYBE I JUST WANT TO KNOW#i dont mean like.. “kill -> get remnant” motivations. that clearly plays into it. but it's so basic and not the full picture#it doesn't explain him killing charlie. it doesn't explain Why he wants remnant. it. it doesn't explain. him as a character. i don't know-#-what he's Thinking and it pisses me off ok. whateverrrrrrrrrrr#they call me the Over Thinkerr. bec ause. im thinking hard about fnaf way over the reasonable amount for something that isn't even#written That well to be frank. whatever whatevet whatever whatever whatever OK bye ill stop. i just do not get william afton#on one hand i like that fnaf allows for people to come up with their own ideas on the other hand I HATE HOW WILLIAM IS (NOT) WRITTEN#Bc how can u make a story that has so much to do with a man who is murdering children and have THAT be one of the things we know least abou#(i know there's probably explanations in the books but i don't care about the books. they're different than the games. so)#i mean i guess i can appreciate that it's a story about murder that focuses more (?maybe) on the victims than the murderer. i guess.#still annoyed. Am i just being a hater? probably#if this is incoherent no it's not❤️
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solargrove · 22 days
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sigh.
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danielnelsen · 1 month
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update: peach is doing very well!! she's eating and sleeping normally (sleeping more than normal, really, but that's to be expected)!! after 3 days of not sleeping and a few changes in painkillers, she finally just napped for an hr then, after another day, slept through the whole night (and most of the next day). she's started following all her usual routines again and is very keen to eat! still on some painkillers, but they're not having any horrific side effects anymore
now that im not staying up to keep an eye on her all night (while also dealing with upgrading my computer and my phone and also my sister preparing to go overseas and the dogs barking and howling constantly due to all of the above), i finally got some decent sleep too and slept for about 14 hrs. so today ive got that weird shakiness that i get from sleeping too much, but hey it's better than the whole of the last week
#personal#and i have a working computer that's finally on windows 10 so that's one less thing to have background stress about#and i have a working phone for the first time in.. a year? 1.5 years? idfk. my previous phone was 16gb so i could fit like 2 apps#could barely take pictures (and couldnt store them) and couldnt update most of my apps because i couldnt update my os because no space#so every app ran slow and then eventually my phone would crash if i opened the storage section of the settings#so i couldnt even offload apps so i could delete them while keeping the data for when i downloaded them again#couldnt order medicine remotely because my chemist only lets you do that from the app (not the website)#couldnt control the aircon because that could only be done through an app#missed loads of stuff because i didnt have email notifications because i could only use my browser for emails#couldnt see tumblr polls on mobile because i couldnt update tumblr because i couldnt update my os#left the house less because i had to delete pokemon go and that genuinely helped me go for walks#ive been dealing with all that for a year so this is very exciting and such a ridiculous qol boost#it sucks how much something like that affects your life. what do you mean i need an app for everythingggg#but god im just glad peach is ok. like there was a moment when i was so stressed trying to update my computer because it wasnt working#and then she ate a small bit of food for the first time in 3 days and just. everything was suddenly fine again#and the other night i spent like 6 hrs just sitting here downloading and installing things on my computer#but it was fine because peach was on the chair next to me sleeping through the whole night and it was such a relief#my sister finally got her flight yesterday (after it was moved four days in a row) so that's just one less thing happening#ive started playing bg3 so that's cool and maybe ill get a chance to actually properly watch that new dav trailer lmao#that premiered at 2am on the first night peach was home from surgery and hadnt eaten or slept yet and i was too stressed to care about dav#and it really just went downhill for the next few days#god. ok. today is the first day i can actually breeaaaathe
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swordbreakerz · 6 months
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Departure
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absolutelyzoned · 4 months
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how do i find out exactly what is wrong with me . help. olease
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months
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Idk if this has been mentioned before but now that I think about it it's kinda odd to me that Ichi's final boss is a dude trying to kidnap a girl that reminds Kiryu of Haruka and Kiryu's final boss is Ichiban's half brother with almost the exact same daddy issues as Aoki
No yeah definitely. Definitely decisions were made.
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kyouka-supremacy · 7 months
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Mmmhh...
#(Basically rant on my last two posts)#I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying–#but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind.#I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚#in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚#especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable.#Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11#(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have)#and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse–#in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work.#If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow.#Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!!#It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now#I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog–#and that's a little too much even for me.#On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog–#when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share#On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully.#Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest–#in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else–#for everyone to see...#The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day)#((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.))#That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out#Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog#Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them
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mejomonster · 2 months
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I hate panic attacks
#rant#which is to say i hate the whirlwind of specifically bad times in my life that brought them on and kept them#i hate that they trigger when i feel strong Anything#ive been trying to Dissassociate less and feel more. because feeling stuff does HELP me notice whats helping or hurting me#but like. i WISH it was about feeling joy and pleasure and excitement. maybe ill feel those eventually#but right now Any strong emotion is still ridiculously close to triggering panic attacks#im still terrified to go watch a play. because i LOVE plays and the last times ive gone for the past decade#ive had awful panic attacks because my brain clicked Love them with Intense Feeling into Panic dont breathe chest hurts Hate Urself#turns out my brain didnt just attach the trigger to fear of loud noises or fear of asking for#trigger from self hating thiught loops#it alsp clicked the trigger into: particularly notiveable romantic feelings of any kind (lile someome? have a panic attack! thatll keep u#physically incapable of getting near them! like plays! lets have you unable to breathe sobbimg hysterical so ur terrified to be trapped in#the audiience for hours! fucking hate hate hate it)#neurofeedback and emdr certainly lowered the panic attack rate per day or week to a Lesser per month situation#but im still lucky if i get thru a pa without illogivally trying to Fix it the irrational way i did when young which is hit myself#in the illogical hope if im injured enough ill be able to think again (which doesnt work its dangerous and makes the panic attack last#longer a pa just does Not let u think rationally untol its over u CANNOT try and fix it while in it and dping that makes it much worse)#if i get thru a pa without a concussion ive done much better than usual :/ i dont want any more#im so tired man. i want to go see a play!#i dont want to Try and then end up hyperventilating and crying with my brain imsisting i Need To be Dead for 2 hours#im the parking lot because it triggers when i park. or worse it triggers when i drive and i have to pull over and im trapped x place for#hours. either way i miss the play i wanted to fucking see!#i hate how panic attacks feel like a trap. not even a trap i can fight. its my own limitation. goddamn ive been fatigued ive been dying#in a hospital a few times. panic attacks feel worse to me. at least dying i can do something (eventually) to stop#altho i guess dying for hours in hospital until i got helped was similar. but ill hopefully only go thru that 1-2 more times in life#and i had like 5 panic attacks during that hospital visit since a heart rate so high like 200 cant calm down anyway
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lonesomenecromancer · 28 days
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dear god i dont know if i can even do this
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