#ill call you daddy

[ithinkdogshouldvote2]

YOURE TELLING ME THAT I GOT A TASTE OF TERRY JR AND NOW I HAVE TO FUCKING WAIT 2 GODDAMN WEEKS WHILE ANTHONY BITCH CUCKS ME????? I'm gonna fucking THROW UP.

Update:

FUCK.

Due to recent developments, I'm freezing myself in a block of ice. Unthaw me in 4 weeks.

[chilchucklover2003]

Been rabid thinking about young adult reader x Chil + praising

"Oh sweetheart..." "Sugar, come here..." "You can call me sir, I don't mind"

[edenfire]

hey baby, miss me?~💞

old man wallace has a death grip on me he's so cute🥰💘💘

[searsage]

-PDA/message transmission: Time: 0437-06/22/*****-

Robin: SAM! SAAAAM  HELLO? ARE YOU AWAKE?

Sam: Robin..? Why in the devine hell are you texting me this late?!

Robin: Oh good you're awake!

Sam: Now I'm awake, it's 4am...did something happen?

Robin: What? Happen... Like what?

Sam: I don't know anything, Something bad..? Throw me a bone!

Robin: Ohhhh! No...but YES!

Sam:...What? Robin you're not making sense..

Robin: Stop talking so loud he's sleeping, you know they hardly do that..?

Sam: I'm not talking loud, I'm texting you god damn it! I'd ask if those architects switched your brain out for a chipmunk's but you've always texted like you were half in the barrel of helium poisoning...

Robin: What!? Rude!

Sam: Why are you texting me in the middle of the night Robin!?

Robin: Oh! Right-right! So..like he's bigger than I thought... like I only reach his chest.

Sam: Is that bad..? Should I be worried..?

Robin: Oh..well no, it's ok I guess. He wants to take me on a tour of the planet, it's not the worst idea, it's kind of gorgeous here, even if it's mostly water.

Sam: That sounds fun...so why are you on the phone at 3 am..?

Robin: Right! I'm getting there, stop rushing me! I asked him about the whole intimacy inquiry in his ad, he claims it wasn't necessary to be compensated for my time.

Sam: That's GREAT! It would have been a deal breaker really, at least you know he's a freak but not that type of freak.

Robin: Haha..yeah...but like..

Sam: Like what..?

Robin: He's not so bad, kind of stuck up and awkward but knowledgeable when it comes to the wildlife here.

Sam: Uh-huh..well just make sure he doesn't try any funny business, you're there to keep him company and aid in his research so..he better not get any ideas.

Robin: Trust me he doesn't seem interested really, far too enthralled by the alkaline levels in the water!

Sam: Oh he's that type of nerd..

Robin: Yeah.

Sam: Jeez i almost feel bad setting this up, seems like you're going to spend the next month licking stones.

Robin: Hey! That's a valid way of testing sodium levels

Sam: Yeah. For a moose!

Robin: You're...not wrong. Ok i'm going to go to bed now

Sam: Ok keep me posted, let me know if i need to fly there and kick his shrimpy architect ass

Robin: Oh his tail! It wiggles sometimes! Usually when he's startled or excited! It's really cute if I'm going to be honest here..

Sam: Shut up, I need some sleep!

Robin: I'm texting remember!

Sam: Oh for the love of god!

Robin: Your words not mine!

Sam: Just be careful and get some sleep.

Robin: Okay..and Sam..?

Sam: Yeah?

Robin: Thanks for setting this whole thing up, I was really in a pinch, it means a lot..."

Sam: Sure Robin, anything for my little sis. Love you too, good night"

Robin: Night..

-PDA/message transmission: Time: 0313-06/27/*****-

Robin: SAM!!! SAAAAM GOD DAMN IT BE AWAKE NOW!!!

Sam:WHAT what?!  Where are you!? Are you okay?!

Robin: Saaaaaaam!

Sam: Are you in serious danger or something?!

Robin:Huh? Oh! no, I'm fine...physically...

Sam: Then why the hell are you spamming my phone at 3 am in the morning Robin?! You almost gave me a heart attack!

Robin: Oh sorry.. I just needed to talk..

Sam: Okay, about what? is everything ok..?

Robin: No, Not really..

Sam: What happened? Was it something with Alan? Was he being a creep?! Damn it! Do you need me to pick you up? Because I will! Just say the word.

Robin: Uh...no, it's...nothing like that...really.

Sam: Then throw me a bone here Robin! You've been acting strange as hell tonight...I'm worried..

Robin: I...I we..uhh...I slept with him...

Sam: You WHAT?!

[shadow0-1]

Phillip chuckles and slows Caliber to a stop. “Professional snowboarder? You any good?”

“I like to think I am,” Jackie leans on the fence surrounding the arena, watching as Phillip’s lips curl into a smile.

“Well, dunno what you’re doin’ down here. Don’t get much snow ‘round these parts.”

A shrug and a grin. “Off season. Decided to go on a little road trip.”

[daincrediblegg]

Tired of people saying “oh look at my old man😍” and the picture they attach is some buff anime dude with grey hair grow up

[femmemonster]

sigh

[wakinguponsaturday]

criminal minds girlies are the funniest people in the world you look up the show on spotify so you have some new music to listen to and there's a hundred aaron hotchner playlists all starting with daddy issues. never change

[hungee-boy]

the more aaron has indoctrinated me with spider-man content the more i fall in love with peter and mj as a couple

also a peter/mj/felicia/marc cule would be so good...

[daphnalia]

only the funniest things being allowed in goofs realm is giving me hope for yeet bigly content cause name anything funnier in regards to this godforsaken podcast

[candlewitches]

cannot sleep mostly because of pain but also bc i am still full of rage at the former (and now current again LMAO) execs of my former larp. like literally. “i can excuse (alleged) mismanagement, fraud, and embezzlement, but i draw the line at a sternly worded announcement”

[oeht]

-harissa, lemon and greek yogurt grilled chicken (so so so fucking good)

-grilled pineapple rubbed with brown sugar

-grilled mini sweet peppers, sauteed green beans in garlic shallots and ginger both dipped in a creamy cilantro dill citrus vinaigrette

[quinncadens]

I'm a bit zooted and really just wanna yarf up some word vomit over Scaramouche

CONTAINS 3.3 SPOILERS FOR INTERLUDE QUEST

So, I love that Scara has had so many identities through his lifetime - most of them ending in tragedy and him being controlled and manipulated. By erasing himself from Irminsul, he is able to be forgotten and finally be free. It was awesome to finally see someone obtain a vision on screen, and Anemo is so fitting for his character.

He has mellowed out a bit which is good to see, and I am so glad that MHY did that without making him into a nice guy all of a sudden. He's still a sassy ass who comes off as more "I'm gonna fuck with you just to fuck with you" rather than actually malicious.

Hopefully we can see the relationship between himself, the Traveler, and Nahida develop into something good - he deserves to have a second family type situation.

ALSO!!!! Did you catch that any voicelines other characters have about him disappear after he removes himself from history?? Childe and Ei have nothing to say about him anymore. I love that detail so much.

[lilgynt]

i told my mom i’m drugging myself everyday told my brother i’m gonna resent him and my other brother for life who else gonna get an awful truth from me today cmon

[geoffrey]

moab training is astrology and chakras for men