#ill be adding more stuff to this post at some point. cant think of any more things to add

[starwaffle345]

headcanon masterpost yippie

collection of headcanons, mostly for my humanoid versions of the duo but if i have any thoughts about other characters i will add them here :D

🔵🔶 Shared headcanons

both are picky eaters and like each other's disliked foods (Edda dislikes seafood, mushrooms, bananas, and various squashes) (Aven dislikes pickled vegetables, tamarind, mayonnaise, and mustard)

both have auditory processing disorder

hypermobile

🔵 Edda (Egg, sparks/sparky, blizzard, frosty)

agender (they/it/she + ne/nem + xae/xaer) aromantic pansexual

tentative voice claim: Aurora

height: 7'8" or 233.7 cm

slightly taller than Aven and would absolutely tease him about it

body is very cold all the time. would jumpscare Aven with xaer cold hands if xie didnt wear xyr scarf all the time

heavy sleeper. also moves around in their sleep a lot

hyperactive adhd haver

enjoyer of spicy and sour foods - would probably eat an entire lemon if it wanted

will either freeze xaer surroundings or smite the ground in front of xaer if xae sneeze too hard

bites and chews their ice cream

can be slightly staticky if they want to, probably zaps Aven for shits and giggles

hair tends to get pretty messy, has sticks and leaves in neir hair often

tends to write in cursive. probably also writes really fast so her writing turns out to be vaguely word-shaped squiggles a lot of the time. she can still read it anyway

enjoys climbing

tends to just say stuff without thinking

tends to talk fast so she tends to stumble over her words

inside of mouth and tongue glows blue

shark teeth + 3 sets of fangs

would probably get into shuffle dancing in a modern au/setting/whatever

🔶 Aven (Aves, fire boy, flicker, pretty boy)

genderflux (he/they/she/it + ve/vir + xie/xem + ae/aer. pronouns change depending how they feel) demiromantic ace (no preference to gender)

height: 7'0" or 213.4 cm

body runs hot (leg so hot you can fry egg on it /j)

light sleeper. also sleeps like she's been put in a coffin 💀 straight as a board and hands folded over her stomach and everything

audhd, specifically has combined adhd

can't stand the feeling of dirty hands - either washes them in the closest body of water or just incinerates his hands

nobody aside from Edda is allowed to touch his hair (or just him in general)

refuses to cover his midsection /silly

has a sweet tooth - especially enjoys chocolate, caramel, and other earthy/neutral flavors (yam, matcha, pumpkin i guess idk)

has sensitive teeth

enjoys spending time underwater a lot

high temperature tolerance - perfectly content existing in very cold or very hot places in just a crop top and booty shorts LMAO

has really bad pollen allergies - allergic to the plants in branches 3 (gardens) and 6 (cube land) specifically, makes sure to cover vir nose when ve goes into those areas

will sneeze fire or strong bursts of wind if she sneezes hard enough

hair is simultaneously messy and neat at the same time (short hair is spiky and kind of all over the place but the braid is usually in top condition)

can't read cursive, handwriting is messy but still readable

usually thinks through his words very carefully before saying them - does fancy talk usually, especially with those he doesn't know

sometimes will pause in the middle of a sentence and end it with a "yeah." after a bit

inside of mouth and tongue glows orange

two sets of fangs

[gifti3]

happy bday to me! 🎂🥳🎉

for this very special day i wanted to list and compare the presents and interactions i got in the mobile games ive been playing consistently lmao

under cut cause the pics are big

Time Princess A letter with 10 golden tickets, 100 stamina, and 10000 coins

Obey Me! Nightbringer 1 UR+, UR, and SSR Joker each 3 Demon Vouchers 30 Karma Points 200 AP 30000 Grim 50 Devil Points Along with a bday video, birthday calls from the characters throughout the day and a UR guarantee for a 10 pull There's half-off on Devil Tree unlocks There's also special birthday dialogue in the Surprise Guests: -- the first Surprise Guest I did gave me 30 more Devil Points -- and you can press anywhere on the boys and get max hearts :]

What in HELL is Bad They haven't implemented bday stuff yet so nothing (´。��。｀)

Twisted Wonderland A Happy Birthday from the character you have set as your favorite card and a Tenfold Key Set (for rolls)

and last but not least.....*drum roll* 🥁🥁🥁 Love and Deepsace! Special Happy Birthdays from each guy which include them singing happy birthday to you :3 Birthday Dialogue on the home screen Presents from each one (items you can use to decorate their desks) 500 Diamonds 5 Empyrean Wishes 1 Bottle of Wishes: SSR 1 Energy Capsule: Powerful And 2 birthday stickers

[mehilaiselokuva]

Interviewing a beginner Finnish learner

A bit of a different post for today! I have been working with a friend who has started self-learning Finnish. Maybe you can gain some inpiration or tips from this interview we conducted! I have added extra commentary bits to some parts, marked with "C".

PREFACE

Interviewer: Me

Interviewee: @nuniante

Been learning Finnish for: half a month

Previous knowledge of the language: none

1. How long have you studied finnish actively?

A) ive been studying for just about half a month

2. What is your study routine like? do you study daily?

A) i try to write notes everyday about grammar concepts i think will help me advance at my current level (so far really basic stuff). i try but dont study daily. i also use duolingo to learn basic expressions/vocab and try to immerse myself in finnish through making some of the apps on my phone in finnish.

C) He tends to write at least one sentence in Finnish a day in our groupchat to the best of his abilities and will ask if he doesn't know a word. I feel like that's a very good way to learn when you are learning a specific dialect like he is.

3. What kinds of notes do you take? what do you write down? do you always write things down or just memorize things without writing?

A) my notes are basic. i write in the exceptions but i dont really go into detail sometimes. i might skip over something mentioned in the lesson or material im using if i think that a concept they bring up is inferrable. for vocab i try to memorize words i learn because i know so few that theres not much point to writing anything down. i think when ill reach a more advanced level ill start to write down more

C) I think that this approach is great, finding things you know you'll use and learning those first is useful!

4. What was your initial plan when studying? what things did you study in what order?

A) my initial plan for studying was trying to learn the basics and formal language to help me in learning colloquial speech, which i planned to learn from a friend (im talking about you juho). so far ive studied the basic cases + declensions, basic verbs conjugations, demonstratives and conjunctions and im rn learning about the numbers and the plural forms of nouns. i plan to take a break from grammar and learn vocab next.

C) Remember that all this is just half a month in! I think learning grammar before vocab is very good! You'll start picking up core words while doing that and of you perfect those grammar points early on, you will find speaking and writing easier fast.

5. What is your goal?

A) i dont really have a goal, but i think that if i could hold up a real conversation in finnish id feel successful.

6. What has been the most difficult + easiest?

A) i think the hardest thing so far has been consonant gradation or numbers. gradation can feel irrational, what with weird sound changes (eg. k > v) and also how you cant really predict what grade a noun/verb should be in depending off its form. easiest might be vowel harmony. you can decide harmony just by feeling what sounds better.

C) For once, a learner has not only learned vowel harmony but has no mistakes using it and will not forget that it's there. If you are more than half a year in learning and you still cannot remember to apply vowel harmony accordingly, you need to make it your priority ASAP.

7. How would you rate your current finnish level (speaking, writing, reading)

A) id say theyre all low. reading is probably my highest because i dont really consume finnish any other way. juho said my finnish accent is ok so i think that makes speech second. i havent listened to finnish yet so i cant even tell.

C) This person writes and speaks better Finnish than some people who have been learning the language for like three years! He is very careful with congruence which many learners don't consider very much. This means that he is eliminating most of the beginner mistakes very early on

8. Additional comments.

A) i like saying hyvää yötä

C) I like that our groupchat has started using Finnish and picking up words like "joo" and "sama asia" since we speak the language now. I consider it very admirable that this person has not only started writing Finnish early on, but he is learning kirjakieli, puhekieli AND a dialect all the same time!

Feel free to use this as motivation or inspiration! I recommend finding a learning style that fits you, so remember that what worked for this person might not work for you! I could make this a series honestly, are any of you interested in participating?

[blackheart-6]

noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

[twildflower]

tags for the memes i made based on pokespe or gameverse / stuff made with mmd

helloww (*´ー｀*).. you can call me anything like tofu, vee, twiflo or my other names (if you know them) as long as ik youre talking to me, i cant decide on a consistent name so i have a lot lol, or you can give me a nickname i dont mind

Trans guy 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️❗️❗️❗️ Im slowly becoming more normal abt this fact but yar. I'm just a normal silly guy other than that. well not normal in any way but i am a very silly guy :3

i know fluent english chinese and some 日本語 i dont know why is this relevant or why am i putting it here. my englsih is decently good i just like typing bad english whenever i can its funny. I dont know how to type chinese i can only use the handwriting board :smile:

i post stuff im interested in, reblogs of art n stuff and sometimes funny/unfunny shitposts too so its just easier to have these tags for my memes.

>boundaries/limits

I’m a multishipper and I fall into ship rabbit holes really easily; just once piece of art that’s good and I will fall like a motherfucker but I’m also weirdly picky. I don’t like certain straight ships of red green gold silver (eg red & yellow, gold & kris) but pretty much everyone else im open with anything. Like sapph ruby plat dia pearl (eg sapph & blue, sapph & ruby). Okay ill be honest this is a very short list but i hope you get what i mean by being multishipper but picky.

I'm a proshipper but thats just bc Im very fucked up in the head so i like fucked up shit, but just fiction tho. i think anything that happens with real people is weird as fuck, it’s just that im fucked in the head so i like to see weird unreal shit thats all. And i think people who are antiship are fucking stupid bc these are fictional characters. pixels.

No strict dni list but I hate genshin/anything related (eg honkai. Garbage ass disgusting named games) so just don’t purposely shove any of those stuff in my face or youll be blocked. I don’t care enough to check if you like them or whatever, you can like them just don’t talk to me abt them. I also don’t like roblox but not to the genshin point bc i downloaded it some times to play with somone if im very good friends w. I just dont like many of the copycat games n like just gacha or stupid games, some very original roblox games are cool tho. Ye.

<end

uh yeah. if you wanna chat my dms n asks are open. i dont mind.

#tflo arts if you want to check out my art/doodles. Im not too proud of my stuff esp if theyre not tagged with character tags so you can just search it up if you really want to. you can request me to draw stuff if you wanna lol...

miner in the gungeons ill be 18 next year im old i dont really want to be 18 i hope i die might kms before then breakdance sorry i meant breakdance sorry i meant breakdance sorry i meant

hey wow you read it to here. im actually just a really mentally ill kid that gets physically sick really easily and often and im not good at anything so i make memes. Well i say im mentally ill but my parents dont believe me bc theyre asians so i never saw any doctor to have any proof lol

Hrmm. My main interests are Pokemon Splatoon Vocaloid (Kagamines). I guess. I also like Pjsk Persona 5 Gundam Build Fighters Macross Delta Jewelpet Shugo Chara Henry Stickmin MahoAko Madoka Sky(COTL) Kirby n foxes/crows/cats in general. Just off the top of my head im adding stuff to this list when I remember. I dont space anything bc iykyk them. if you wanna check them out then you can just search them up

[lafox]

RE:ID Rant! /SPOILERS/

I just finished watching Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness and made some scene pack which you can find here. 

I’m not the biggest fan of putting my opinion out there on the internet but I'll try to write my opinion while still be careful.

NO HATE TO ANY CHARACTER LISTED BELLOW THANK YOU!

Anyhow, I need to talk about it! 

First of all, amazing character design and rendering. All the characters looks amazing and I adore the little details, for example, Leon's little head twitch or look at the president’s facial details. I think we all agree that they aced in that department. (will talk more about that subject after character analysis)

Now, the plot... the plot.

Look in all honesty it was a nice plot but i felt it went a bit too fast, not enough build up and stuff. I don't have much to say on it, only a few default on the characters and why and how things happen but I'll talk about that through character analysis. 

Okay, about our main character Leon.

He was badass, I'm so surprised he knew what to do in the submarine, honestly that was a good scene I was really anxious for him. He did care for the people around him but I didn’t get that sweet side of him like he had in RE2 or in DAM, I'm saying this because even if he saw Shen May’s brother, he didn’t have the empathy of his last wishes, like Shen May basically said: “He doesn’t want this to happen again and that why this *the chip* can help us.” And what annoys me the most and that both the ‘villain's’ didn’t deserve to die so the least he could do is to not make it *the virus* happen again. 

I am revolted at Leon for not giving the chip to Claire, not even telling the president about this shit! LIKE BRO. Also denying Claire, thinking he knows best?! Excuse me but Claire literally interviews people, she knows the Press! Anyhow, Annoyed...

Now let’s talk about Claire. 

My girl Claire! They made her a side character that didn’t have much to add only confirmation to our suspicions which is good yes, but it isn’t Claire’s job, she deserve a much bigger role in the RE universe! I get it, she was also a ‘side’ character in RE2 and Leon is the star but still tho! She did give #girlboss energy which I am LIVING for! She was stunning! her character design and CGI was beautiful and I've seen a lot of people saying that she is ‘ugly as shit’ as i quote. I’m sorry but she looks realistic and you are going to cry about it? She is around her mid-tweenies, maybe around 27 and you gonna tell me that her being realistic is ‘ugly as shit’?! Yeah nah sorry pal, go and like Shen May (no hate to her, she is gorgeous) then and not our OG Girl Claire! 

Claire deserved a bigger role and she is smart, like she is fucking smart! She almost decoded everything before the agents came and kidnap her, one of many reasons she should’ve had a bigger role! (Also please, your hand in marriage Claire ilysm)

Next on the list is Jason.

Okay, I'm sorry but i am in love with him.

I’m sorry okay! He fits the dilf characteristics and I cant-

Anyhow back to analysis. 

I feel horrible, he didn’t deserve to die, the man had serious mental illness and PTSD involved, they showed that but they killed him off. Why? Because he wanted to stop the virus from ever happening by his own ways? Even if it is a violent way, there is still, there was a logical and reasonable. Honestly i think and/or probably, a lot of people might relate to him and Shen Mei, because he has PTSD and mental health issues and Shen Mei lost someone close to her and they are both trying to make the world better, in their own way and for Capcom to kill them both is such a shame.. 

Jason is such a badass tho like.. damn~  He was really well written as a side character, like, I enjoyed when he was on screen (Maybe because i like him but whatever) 

Last but not least, Shen Mei!

I’m gonna be real and probs a lot of people are not going to like this but she was the least prominent character for me, like, yes she stands out a bit but for at least 2 episode she is.. just there and having little dialogue. But i did enjoy her twist, i felt like all that nothing from her was worth in someway. She is definitely #girlboss *chef kiss* and i can relate to her on a deeper level. I enjoyed that she silent for 2 episode because i can relate that she doesn’t talk, that she only listen and observes. I enjoy how she will do anything to help the people she love and that think that's what make Shen Mei a great character! Overall i did enjoy her character and i think her side role is very well placed with her personality.

CGI and Rendering Rant

I need to talk about the amount of details in the male characters but lack of it for female characters... You can see how, The President, Jason or Leon have detail, you can see their pores on their skin, you can see their history and age through those CGI detail on their skin and others but.. Claire or Shen May, their skin is  perfect. They do have a few details under her eyes but no pores, no small wrinkles, nothing. I think that's a shame. Shen Mei looks absolutely perfect, you cannot tell me that there is any default on her. I think that is marketing.. what I mean is that Shen Mei is an attraction for people to watch REID. She is absolutely stunning and has no default. 

I was talking with a friend of mine that studies human biology and we were talking about those details, we went on the subject of the women representation and rendering and we both suspect makeup is involve. What i am saying is that Capcom doesn’t show those pores because : Makeup. 

It can be a valid point. Exhibit A is Shen Mei eyelashes and slight makeup, she is meeting the President after all. So of course she would whip out some makeup. (I know i would.) Shen Mei eye Lashes are way longer longer than Claire’s which would go back to out theory of make up.

Photo comparation: 

Claire in her hotel room.

VS

Shen Mei in the submarine. You might think that it’s not convincing enough but keep in mind that Shen Mei is looking up as her head is downwards!

Coming back to skin. In the last two picture, yes, you can see pours and details of the face of Shen Mei but i want to talk about normal viewing of the two character VS male character same view point.

Photo comparation: 

The girls, looking perfect (ily both sm) 

VS

Leon at the (almost) same camera leveling and depth and you see way more characteristic then other female character even when Leon and Claire are around the same age. But they did nail it when the camera was close on both women. 

Adding a note that Claire does show a it of characteristics, more than Shen Mei and the we get people calling her ‘Ugly as shit’ for having a realistic face.

Maybe Shen Mei is younger, Probably and surely but I'm 18, i have facial characteristics. the only thing that is realistic is her beauty spot which is a really nice touch I love it. 

Anyhow i think I'm done talking about it. 

I enjoyed watching the show and i was excited for it! i hope everyone enjoyed it! Also I love all the character, I'm not bullying them or critic them for their physic or anything else! I’m just ranting about things that was ‘negative’ only because i enjoyed so many aspect of it that the post would be longer aahh. 

A few positives I will list are:

Camera angles (immerced) 

Character movement (No awkward movement or glitch) 

Motion blur (None sickening blur, right place Motion blur)

Lighting (Accurate lighting, not forgetting lighting through hair, ear etc)

Animation (Overall fucking amazing like holy shit)

Tension (Performed very well through animation and plot) 

Emotion and facial expression ( I could write a whole essay on that, that’s how well they did it)

I think that's it :) 

I hope you enjoyed me rambling on about this, i will write soon I've just had a holiday! scheduled writing around the end of next week!

-Chlo

[kristalpepsi]

Temptation Stairway Thoughts™ + Theory Discussion

TW: blood + Death mentions, Implied (forced/pushed) integration (systems), racism (against asians), unreality stuff bc the show is Like That, Trauma causd by therapy

TL;DR = I mainly talk about implied integration, n as some1 in a system tht! mkes me uncomfy! I mainly will talk abt wht I’m calling the multi-ena theory (n anothr theory ill call the Multiple/Multi-Enaverse Theory) thts been popping up n disccng how thts kind of the bggst thng keepng me on board! I won’t LIE I might b a little biased bc I rlly do like thise show b I am NOT blind so I will try 2 address som things. I also talk alot abt the Shepard n Phindol bc I love themb so much they make me very heart Big.

DISCLAIMERS:

Obviously Joel G Highkey/definitely/most probbly did not intend 4 any of thise, but media is very complic8d so u cn end up accidntlly making problmtc things or implyng not great things

I hav a typing quirkkkk so if u cant understand my post I rlly dont blame u! I’m sorry how I type is Incomprehensible™

Not an angry post, more like my brain is holding me host-ge until i talk abt everyth dskfjhd!!

DO NOT Send anyone in thise post hate or angry asks/messages or perish by my sword

OK so this recnt episde has me w vry vry mixd feelngs!!! I’m both happy n exctd! b litrlly 2 things is whts bothrng me. While I CLD jst say :I Am Lookng Away: i rlly do need 2 write it down. Under a Read-more bc im secure SKSJ

Part 0: I’m uncomfortable help

The Section wher i tlk abt n bring up othr ppl’s concerns

So fr most if nt all the frnds I hav who also wtch Ena ALSO has a vry “vr vry mixd feelngs now tht I’ve seen the episde!!” mood twrds Temptation Stairway! It’s 4 a bunch of rsns, like thise post (tw racism) mde by a frnd whch brings up a good point

Part 1: The Actual Intro

Episode 1 = Auction day (AD) Episode 2 = Extinction Party (EP) Episode 3 = Tempation Stairway (TS)

Who is Ena

Ena can b describd as an "abstract girl split in half, w 1 blue side n the other is her yellow side!" Each side (emotion/mood, 2 b specific) seems 2 hav their own voic actor credited along with seper8 credits 4 each mood! So far the canon sides r Ena (happy), Ena (sad), n Ena (drunk)! They seem 2 act accordingly: Happy acts happy n optimistc, Sad acts sad n especlly depressd, n Drunk acts confused n dizzy [In the Credits, it would look like thise: Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman, (drunk) Ena by Sam Meza

4 Episodes 1-2, thy follow thise pattern exctly! So we cn expect wht 2 see from them, n each voice actor is creditd accordngly as seper8 b all a part of Ena

On epside 3, Ena is seen as actng diffrnt!! She's suddnly less predictabl! I say thise bc Suddenly, her voic Actors r not stuck 2 Only their sides. Thise is also emphasized when looking at the credit list! No longer is it "Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman" it's now jst "ENA by Gabe V. and Lizzie Freeman"

Happy's voic can sound STRESSED n sad, Happy can tlk w Blue's side in mor control n Sad's voic can sound Really happy n optimistic. Somth's Diffrnt n Not The Same

Temptation Stairway Summary

Skipping 2 my point, The summary of the episode Temptation stairway is tht Moony and Ena have a bet 2 race 2 the Great Runas! The Great Runas, can grnt u any wish accordng 2 Moony n som of those Ena passes by on the wy. The wager, is tht "whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser" (yes it’s phrased like that) As Ena journeys thru, The DIFFERENCES between Ena Temptation Stairway and Ena Extinction Party n Below, is mor obvious as the epsde progrsses, even 2 wher Happy's voic actor is the 1 screamng in agony 2 jst get murdered already. The Episode ends w Moony beatng Ena (but it's 100% possibl it can be the other way arnd, that ENA Beat Moony, b thats somth I'll discuss in a bit L8r). Moony splits in half, revealing that according 2 her, "she wished 2 be skinny" n a humanoid coms out of her previous form. As 4 Ena, Her blue side slowly dispprs n its not answrd why.

Theories so far, are:

Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy (or 4 her sad/blu side 2 go awy. 4 wht reason can b eithr wholsom or 2 Moony's advntge [like so she "doesnt have 2 deal w Sad Ena"]) - b if Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy/b rid of her sad side, tht wld mean perhaps she lied about wishing 2 be skinny (her new humanoid form may be how she is "paying her debt 2 the loser"). Unless the Runas can grant u more than 1 wish.

Ena ws the 1 who wished her blu side awy, whch is a little depressng tbh

If both the above r tru, it may b possibl bc it wsnt clarified (afaik) tht the great runas can only grant ONE person a wish (or more). I think we only get tht implica8ion bc we see 1 (open) door while in the distance, ther r more doors tht look like their eyes r closed. We hav 2 remembr Moony said "whoever makes their wish 1st whch means Ena n Moony can totlly mke wishes @ the sme time

Somhow, turning pure yellow/only happy is how Moony is payng her debt 2 Ena(??) (opposite 2 the 1st theory)

OR If Ena won the race, it can even b possibl 2 consider tht Ena did not make ANY wish, n her debt 2 pay 2 Moony is her sad/blue side removed (I do not subscribe 2 thise) 

This info that was brought up 2 me is high evidenc that Moony won the race, n it explains how Moony surprises Ena whn Ena arrives. “I’m The Best and you’re the worst! I wonder who got the hair chest?” said by Ena, is a direct reference 2 a phrase usd by kids when they lose that goes “First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest.”

“Whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser.“ Might be phrased tht way as a weird way 2 pay 4 ur greed? (Last minute addition from me since some people wld think this is quoted wrong in and outside of the youtube comments)

i'm p sure ther may even b mor theories b i dont rmmbr them OOPS

Part 2: The Implied Integration Part AKA: How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode

TW: Final fusion discussion, medical trauma (Is that the right word)

Disclaimer: This is 100% unintended by Joel G. That’s y the Alternative title 2 thise part is “How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode”

2 GET IN2 the whole Implied Integr8ion part of my Essay™ I hav a theory calld system ena or sys!ena! (Check out my #system ena tag. This is in chronologicl order!) While thers no canon explan8ion 4 how Ena herslf is how she is, she mkes very intrstng n almst good accdntl Sys Represent8ion 2 me! They even show cofronting rlly well! I headcanon Ena as a system bc of the accidentl system!rep, but it explains 2 me y n how she switches! she has triggers 4 when she switchs 2 a diffrnt side, etc!

Ther hav been theories about Temptation Stairway in the past (before the episode cme out) wher ppl try 2 explain y the trailer Looks Like Tht. Besides theorizing abt the introduction of a new forme (I'm ok w just calling it Scared/Anxiety 4 now until 4rthr notic), 1 of the theories ive seen is tht Temptation Stairway's new introduced forme is due 2 being something akin 2 being "integr8d" (probably by force, accordin 2 the OP) (in other words, all her sides merge in2 one) n Ena being devast8td abt it

While tht theory is now DEBUNKED, bc the new forme clearly did not come out bc of being One Single Mind now, the "integr8ion" part of tht theory is unfortun8ly a littl tru

What is Integr8ion?

Integr8ion is not inherently a bad thing. In systems, ther are 2 definitions: "the breaking down of barriers 2 form healthy multiplicity, n then healthy communic8ion n less amnesiac barriers" and the othr, n mor FAMOUS definition bc its the oldest 1, is "final fusion"

Fnal Fusion is when all the members "fuse/merge" 2gether until ther is 1 single mind left. While not necssrlly a bad thng, final fusion n ther4 "integr8ion" is a scry thing 4 a lot of systems 2 talk abt, because in the history of Treatment, Final fusion is uslly somthng forcd on2 systems 4 the longest time :^(

Very valid 2 hav final fusion as a goal, b showng it as a desire n end goal is uslly seen as a sad n even scry thing 2 promote accdntly or not in media, bc of the previous traumas in the medicl/therapy world of system treatment etc

What's Worse. is tht if we apply the Ending 2 Temptation Stairway to the System!Ena Theory, thts wht hurts!!!

Scrolling back up 2 the possibl theories of who won the race and wht happened aftr, Either Moony or Ena wishing 4 the blue side/Sad Ena 2 go awy is rlly painful!

B I'll be honest, thts a RLLY biased n personal opinion i hav!! I've seen ppl think its rlly wholsom altho a bit Sad, tht the blue side disappears. I've seen ppl think its rlly sweet esp if it was Moony who mde tht wish

BSCLLY If I were to hold on2 the System!Ena headcanon while watchng the Temptation Stairway episode, its Hurtful, not rlly bc of the implied Integr8ion of Sides, but bc most top theories r that the blue side disappeard on Purpose either from Moony or Ena wishing her away or involvng the debt! It's like asking 4 ur sibling irl 2 Disappear and cease 2 exist. it's scary n rlly sad esp whn the audienc can c tht Sad, Happy, n Drunk cn almst b seen as their own persons n mite even b abl 2 interact w each othr (as seen by the many fanart of Happy n Sad having their own seper8 forms)

  Ok so Now tht ive described my intro n Main Beef w the Episode, here's a theory I cn rlly get behind tht dsnt mke me wnna cry behind a Denny's. Prsnlly it's a rlly relievng theory even if it mite b hard 2 take in

Ther's no name 4 it, som call it the Enaverse, b just so it dsnt get confusd w other definitions (like, u wldnt call it the Marvel Cinematic Universe theory, the MCU is jst wht it is) I'm gnna call it the Multi-Ena theory! Bsclly, there's mor than 1 Ena in thise universe. But I'll get in2 a sub/partner theory tht is also possibl: ther is mor than 1 enaverse n somhow u may or may not b abl 2 travel between them

Part 3: The Multi-Ena theory

Something interesting I noticed was that the shepherds says “another ENA troublemaker?” Which definitely means more than one ENA/person has been there before.

(I blockd out the rest of the commnt not bc it ws bad, b i wantd 2 focus on this part of the commnt, but thise commnt will come up again L8r)

Not connected 2 System!Ena or the integr8ion issue I mentioned earlier, the multi-ena theory seems 2 b 1 of the top suggstd theories bc of many thngs! Bsclly n in short, thise theory believs tht in the series (or Enaverse), ther is multipl ena's! So fr i havent seen a post tht RLLY went in2 depth on thise so here is my attempt!

Evidence:

(See: above explanation on how the voic actors r credited 4 their roles individlly 2 explain my system!ena theory/intro) In episodes 1-2, Ena's diffrnt emotions/sides r creditd individually! In Temptation Stairway, Gabe n Lizzie Freeman r all creditd undr the sme nme, just as "Ena" (mening thise is a completely different Ena from the past)

Again, as said in my summry 4 Tempt8ion Stairway, thise Ena acts compltly diffrnt n is not follwng the sme "pattern" or rules as Ena did in Episodes 1-2! (Read above in my summary section) Either ther r stuff we've missd between Extinction Party n Temptation Stairway, or thise is a diffrnt Ena entirely.  I'd hav 2 sy prsnlly tht I'm leanng 2wrds the latter bc of how the VA's are crdtd. but if ur not convinced, let me continu:

When we meet the Shepard in 7:52 of the episode, they say (verbatim) "Arghh... Another ENA trouble maker." which implies there r more than 1 Ena's

9:08 - 9:19 when Ena jumps in2 the "Holy Code" where we head undrwtr in2 a sea of diffrnt doors, we see floating Ena models (n the comment section seems 2 gravit8 2 callng them "dead bodies") (Honorary mention: You'll notic they glitch in2 Mannequins if u pay attention 2 them). This piec of info is Direct Evidence 2 the multi-ena theory, bc ther r Explicitly mor thn 1 ena's on screen! wht's concernng n unanswrd tho, is y do they glitch in2 mannequins? Does tht mean all the mannequins we sw on screen in the begnng of the video (n onwards) were all previously an Ena? Is it only an Ena tht can transform in2 a mannequin or cn othr chrctrs also become mannequins?

Not the strongst evidenc b i'll input it anywy: Ena's Action boxes (Like when she receivs or gives items) spell her nme her as ƎNA (with a backwrds E). The thing abt thise 1 is tht we can't compare it with Auction Day n Extinction Part bc they don't have any action boxes. BUT What we CAN compare is how she is spelled in the dialogue boxes of those speakng in diffrnt languages AND in the Credits! In Episodes 1-2, She's Spelled as Ena with this captialis8ion. In Temptation Stairway the dialogue and credits consitntly spell her as ENA in all caps. May or may not allude 2 her being diffrnt, b i will admit this is the most Strechiest piec of evidnc. Tru or not, I'd like 2 refer 2 Tempt8ion Stairway ena as TS!Ena or ƎNA, prsnlly 2 differenti8 her frm the othr episodes

Pronounci8ion: BUT 2 build on the above evidence, In the beginning of the episode, Moony DOES pronounc Ena's name in different wys a lot, startng w I-NA (ai-na), ENA (ehna), n finally JENA. And this isnt new! She’s been doing it sinc Auction Day (ee-nah/ii-na) n Extinction Party (ay-nah). Thise may or my not sggst that perhaps Moony's inconsistancy is bc these othr pronunci8ions or names cld b of other ena's she's met in the past w similr or diffrnt preferences! I’d say because of her constant switchng in the beginning of Temptation Stairway, it would lean 2wards that she may know different Ena’s @ once. Otherwise, c the Multi-Enaverse theory below

Note: Every othr charctr besides Moony (So far; Merci and the Shepard) Pronounces Ena as ehna (or ehna) so it might be that perhaps Eh-na is the universal way of pronouncng Ena?

Conlusions/thghts on this theory: I prsnlly like thise a lot!! It makes Enasonas Very Possible, b also tht any interpret8ion of Ena cn b corrct or possibl! It knda saddens me tho bc im not rlly sure if we'll ever return 2 the Ena we're used 2, I wldnt rlly want 2 b stuck w/o Sad bc I thnk her role is rlly neat n can b importnt, b im biasd. I also rlly subscribe 2 thise theory bc it means whtvr happend 2 TS!Ena ds not hav 2 be permanent in the long run; Again litrlly the only thng keepng me from gettng supr upset abt the ending of Temptation Stairway, is tht the prev ena’s r not the sme n wld possibly not do thise, or tht ther r othr ena’s out ther besides THISE episod 1, who wld nvr do tht, etc

Part 4: The Multiple Enaverses/Multi-Enaverse Theory AKA The Alternative In Defense of Moony Mispronouncing Ena’s name over and over

An alterntve 2 the Multi-Ena theory, is tht there is MORE thn 1 Enaverse! So bsclly, a multiverse theory. Primarily thise my explain Not jst Ena's sudden Shift in how diffrnt she is in thise episode b may also explain how Diffrnt Moony is actng in thise episode 2. While thise isnt the top theory i prsnlly subscribe 2 (sinc ther isnt explicit evidence besides it bein an explan8ion 4 Moony n Ena's weird/diffrnt behavior), it DOES open a lot of doors 2 intrstng things 2 thnk abt!

Bsclly Moony keeps mispronouncing Ena’s name a lot (in Tempation Stairway) n its Really Rude, esp consdrng she’s always said it properly (As in @ least 1nce in an episode n not switchng multiple times) b4! so 2 Explain her Sudden change in behavior, this is actlly a Different Moony, besides a different Ena. this is a whole different universe/timeline!

LIKE If not multiple Ena's, The different Loca8ions in Ena cn probbly b traversible across dimensions! The Holy Code may b the door 2 diffrnt enaverses. The Shepard's garden cld b an interdimensionl place tht is singular n deals w diffrnt beings passing thru! While i dnt hav mch 2 sy on thise, its RLLY Interestng 2 thnk abt

Like the Multi-Ena theory, thise also opens the doors 2 enasonas being vry possibl :^) Som ppl's evidences r all involvng Moony besides how Ena's rlly diffrnt

Moony can skateboard??

Moony's square shape hole can shrink 2 hold an item

while not strong ATM or frm wht i cn see, its still very inch restng!!! Tho I would sy it is VERY on par w the Multi-Ena theory anyway

Part 5: Honorary Mentions: Mini Theories

The Great Runas is actlly a play on the "Run As" Command! I'm not very Smart engh 2 break thise down vry well, b bsclly w all the allusion 2 "codes" n the Blood ID looking like a Chip, The Great Runas being abl 2 grant u wishes makes a lot of sense! This ws brought up 2 me from a friend (@ambercard​)!

like its a command line. so then the great runas being able to grant wishes makes sense if its digital world like all the code stuff says Allows a user to run specific tools and programs with different permissions than the user's current logon provides.

Runas is a command-line tool that is built into Windows Vista. To use runas at the command line, open a command prompt, type runas with the appropriate parameters, and then press ENTER.

In the user interface for Windows Vista, the Run as… command has been changed to Run as administrator. However, you should rarely have to use the Run as administrator command because Windows Vista will automatically prompt you for an administrator password when it is needed.

and my friend who i was talking to said that probably explains what the password was for and the blood id being a login or something?

its possible using the blood id akin to using the run as administrator command since idk their name but one of the people ena met said the blood id didnt seem like her which is like. if she isnt administrator then it would make sense that using that command wouldnt match who she is

My response:

man do u realiz Ena uslly does not hav the corrct passwrd/admin privileges all the tme? Bc the guardian entity in extinction party askd her 4 1 b i guess it ws so Low Game tht it wsnt supr necsrry in the end

The Enaverse is all a computer code of some sort- most probbaly a game! AKA: This is a digital world

... If we were too treat this world as a video game this would make more sense since different play through bus and all that. Oh god this feels like a fnaf situation, taking a video that just wants to be a video and turning it into a big serious thing

Going with the whole ‘there are multiple enas representing the player’ theory, perhaps this ENA realized that she’s in a video game and isn’t taking it too well? But the game is kind of glitching out because of it.

Honorable Mentions: Random Info + Unanswered Questions

Ena seems self-aware of smth! (10:24 Ena screams "YOU'RE ALL LIVING A LIE!") May help the Run as command idea n the video game/digital reality idea! If not a video gme, they sure r Somewhere

What does the Great Runas look like?? is it the door? is ther mor thn 1 Runas?

What is Mariya n Gabo's Job? R they just like the Guardian Entity in Extinction Party but are assignd 2 this part/location of where they are?

In 6:30, wht does Ulysses mean by "Desires r never fulfilled nor quenched"? "You Will fail like the rest of them" Is he referring 2 the other Ena's that's passed by? who else have come n failed?

This Post Also brings up som good points I hvnt noticd yet!

Thise comment pretty much says everythng:

Standout things from this animation:

-This Ena switches between a male & female voice at seemingly random instead Happy speaking with a male voice and Sad speaking with a Sad voice. The text boxes noticeably refer to this Ena with a reversed E, and The Shepard says "Another Ena troublemaker", implying that there are multiple Enas. We also see some Ena corpses flickering into the mannequin bodies at one point. Third, at the end we see Ena's sad half turn from blue to yellow over the course of Ena & Moony's conversation. My personal theory is that this Ena is possibly 'broken' in some manner. -Moony either doesn't care or dosen't realize that Ena's voices aren't matching the personalities anymore. -The grey personality appears to come out when Ena gets too stressed out. Notably the transformation involves the happy half turning into static and exploding out, erasing Ena's face in the process. It also appears that some physical trauma (in this case, Brick Frog kicking Ena) is necessary to exit the grey personality, unlike the previously seen 'blackout' personalities which can possibly be switched by the other personality exerting themselves (in the auction episode, Ena enters her sad blackout/depressed personality, then switches to Happy!Ena, who apologizes to Moony about her depressed outburst). -Moony's hole is capable of closing to hold things, and she also knows how to skateboard. -Judging by Ena's reaction, Moony's transformation at the end is weird even by this universe's standards.

aaaand thats all 4 now! I really hope thats all my brain can think of skjsdhfsdfkh

Feel free 2 send me asks abt Ena theories n stuff! While this is a Comprehensiv post, it’s definitely mor focused on the Multi-Ena theory n my thghts on the episode whn it comes 2 how it affects the System Ena theory. I’m open 2 questions!!

Last Edit: Feb 19 2021 (GMT +8)

[neopronouns-list]

this is just me describing how i make neopronoun sets and the patterns that occur lol

read it all under the break \/

idk if anyone noticed this, but i am awfully uncreative. if you look at any of of my pronouns lists, youll see that theres a recurring pattern.

if im making a pronouns set based off of an existing word, lets use the word butterfly for an example. if i were making pronouns based of butterfly, i would make these sets:

Butterfly/Butterfly/Butterlys/Butterflys/Butterflyself

Butter/Fly/Butterfly/Butterflys/Butterflyself

Bu/Butter/Butterfly/Butterflys/Butterflyself

the first one is what i call an an it/its word pronouns set. or i believe those types of pronoun sets are often called 'nounself'. its the word im basing the pronoun set off of for the first two slots (i know thats not what theyre called, but in my mind, the places between the / are called slots), then its usually base word +s for 3 and 4 slots, then its word +self for the 5 one.

the second example i only do that when the word is long. idk what my mind considers long, but i believe its 7+ letters. basically for the first two slots i split the base word into two parts. 3 slot is just base word, 4 is base word +s, and 5 is base word +self

third example, i do that with the base word as often as i can. i call that a progression set. 1 is least amount of letters from the base word while still sounding good. 2 is either the whole base word if i cant find anything in between, or 1 but with a few more letters. 3 usually ends up being base word, 4 is base word +s, 5 is base word +self.

if you were to go back and look at any of the sets ive made, youll see this pattern recurring everywhere. i cannot seem to break this pattern. i tried in my last post a bit, and while making lists ive had quiet ideas about how to break the pattern but i usually reject the idea because 'it wont sound right'. but a lot of the pronouns i saw sent in EASILY broke this pattern that probably only exists for me. Wo/Orld/World/Worlds/Worldself for example. that got sent in, and you can see it quietly breaks this. E/Jour/Ney/Neys/Jourself is another one sent in, by the same person i think. you can easily tell theyre based off of the word journey, yet the set never actually says the word 'journey'. it seems so simple to do when making a set, but for some reason i cant do it. im probably gonna try making some 'out of the box' ones, but theyre probably gonna not be the best.

but this pattern doesnt just occur with pronouns based off of a word. if im making just some random ones, i always find myself in another pattern. for example, ill start with the random thing i just thought of, gi.

Gi/Giz/Giza/Gizas/Gizself

see the pattern there? i always end up just adding on one more letter every slot. actually, as im typing this, im realizing there are a lot of subconscious rules ive made. huh. anyways. yeah theres not much to say about this one.

ok, another thing i do. i actually care/know a lot about grammar/spelling and that stuff, im just too lazy to capitalize and add apostrophes. why am i pointing this out? because if youve ever looked at the neopronoun list, like the one this whole blog is based around, youll notice some things. take the pronouns i recently 'made'

Sky/Sky/Skys/Skys/Skyself

is there anything wrong with that pronouns set? honestly, no. but grammatically, yes. the plural of 'sky' is 'skies'. but i let the set be skys. because thats how pronouns, neopronouns work. i know neos technically have no words, but sky/skys is an it/its type set. sky/skys used the same way it/its pronouns are used in english. its base word for 1 and 2, then base word +s for 3 and 4, base word +self for 5. nounself pronouns. so by that concept, 3 and 4 have to be 'skys' not 'skies'. but on the list, i always add the gramatically correct version because i just cant not as well. Sky/Sky/Skies/Skies/Skyself is on the list, as are all the gramatically correct plural versions of any pronoun set that might not have had gramatically correct plurals. (this does not mean that the gramatically incorrect ones arent up there, they are) so the butterfly pronouns from earlier are on the list but with the gramatically correct plural versions are there too lol.

yeah, thats it for now lol. dont forget to submit any neos you think of! especially if they break any of these rules i laid out but hate lmao.

[ladyalice101]

jonsa fic recs

alright, i’ve had a couple requests for recs, so here is my list. these are all fairly recent fics, all written this year i think. all of them are from my bookmarks on ao3, but i picked the recent ones which are my god-tier recs, my oh-my-god-i-love-this-so-much-i-think-i’m-going-to-die, the ones i reread. they have very little in common, but if you don’t find anything on here that tickles your fancy, then feel free to check out my bookmarks. i have just over 100 on there, and every single one on there are fics that i think are absolutely phenomenal.

for @abi117 @why-cant-i-be-careless and @orangeflavoryawp

canon divergent

Victory by moutainsbeyondmountains. one-shot, 5489k.

“You won already, Your Grace,” Tyrion said mournfully. “Enjoy your victory. There are no lands left to conquer. And there are no more dragons.”

if you read no other fic on this list, read this one. seriously. it’s d.ny pov, and glorious. genuinely, i couldn’t give this high enough praise. i reread this A LOT. like, a lot a lot. i could probably quote this fic.

I Want Something so Impure by @asilentfrenzy. one-shot, 10166k.

“You have caused this, you and your queen. You allowed her to speak to me that way, allowed her to order my obedience in my own home as if I’m to be her new dog to train. I am the Lady of Winterfell, and your inbred aunt has no right to-”

“Aye, you are the Lady of Winterfell,” he growled, his eyes flashing with an added flame of fury at the mention of the woman’s newly found relations to him. “The same Lady of Winterfell who not too long ago advised me to be smart, yet it seems that you can’t follow your own advice.”

“Be smart,” she repeated, filling her face with a look of mocking humor. “By kneeling? By allowing her to seize my title and command my people? Perhaps I should offer her these chambers as well. Better, I’ll just offer them to you again, seeing as I’m sure you’ll be sharing a bed. Shall I fuck her as well? As I want to be just as smart as you, Jon.”

so if you couldn’t tell from the summary, this one is sassy af. it features darkish/dominant!jon, which is my jam, and is pretty much just 10k of smut, which is also my jam.

it’s a small crime, and i’ve got no excuse by mxash. 5/5, 8214k.

“did you see her?” sansa snarled, a hand come to pull at his collar, pulling his mouth down only hairs from her own. “your targaryen queen has dressed as though she was a whore to catch your eye.” jon smirked as she bit his lip. what was this? dany had almost recoiled in her disgust and shock, but she hadn’t been able to pull herself away from the horrific sight. my lover and his own sister.

this one serves some dark!jonsa realness, and it deserves more comments/kudos. it is written entirely in lowercase, but don’t let that distract you. the characters are dark, and devoted, and who doesn’t love d.ny catching jon and sansa fucking? seriously, this one is a must-read.

Dark in Bloom by @orangeflavoryawp​. oneshot, 8304k.

"His gravity wavers, the axis of his world tilted to the measure of her lips." - Jon and Sansa. The stain of desire bleeds slowly between them.

yeah orange, i’m reccing one of your own fics to you. seriously though, this is just like ... mindblowing. i cannot overstate how much i love this one. i literally will just randomly remember it sometimes, when i’m just going about my daily business, and i’m like “shit, that fic by orange was a masterpiece. love it.” so, yeah, if that doesn’t tell you how much i love it, then idk what will.

what i’m asking by @amymel86​. oneshot, 1173k.

"I'm not here to talk about that," Theon says, setting off another, thankfully smaller coughing fit. "I'm here to talk about Sansa."

Jon can feel the blood drain from his face. "Is she ill?"

Theon shakes his head, lifting his eyes to Jon as he coughs into his fist. "No," he finally says, his lungs giving him a small reprieve. "The Queen is in her prime. Which is why you are needed."

okay, ya’ll obvi know of amy. she writes so much fantastic fic. but i feel like this one kind of flew under the radar? which is a CRIME tbh. this fic was so ... it was so heartbreaking, but in the best way. it’s not that divergent from canon, bc the main thing that is truly different is that theon lives. seriously love this fic.

A Toss of the Coin by Paige242. one-shot, 3793.

Years after the war, the Queen in the North and the pardoned Queenslayer welcome their first child. Old traits emerge, and Jon worries about this Dragon in a den of Wolves.

ok, so this is a future fic where jon and sansa married. i don’t even know how to describe this one. it isn’t jonsa focused, but that doesn’t make it any less brilliant. it is so unique, and i’m yet to read another fic that explores the idea of one of jonsa’s kids inheriting some targaryen madness. there IS a part two, which was just as amazing. pls do yourself a favour and read this!

Choose by @esther-dot​. oneshot, 5630k

“I know the cost of our loves. I know too well how they fall on the scale, one outweighing the other. I know what you tried to tell me. I know.” She was looking at him now, and he was afraid, but he would say the words that he had been unable to silence. “I never had the chance to choose you, but I would. I would choose you every time.”

THE DIALOGUE IN THIS IS INCREDIBLE. i just reread this to try and find my fave quote, but i actually can’t even pick. there are just so many amazing conversations, between sansa and jon, sansa and d.ny, arya and jon .. ugh, the list goes on. love this, please read.

Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge by alltheshinywords. one-shot, 3187k.

Post 8x03, slightly AU. Tormund and Jaime inexplicably find themselves becoming matchmakers when they notice a certain chemistry between Jon Snow and Sansa Stark. Extreme fluff and silliness.

this one is the least angsty on the list, and honestly it’s just such a good time. i remember reading this while s8 was airing, and honestly it was just so light hearted that i laughed out loud several times, despite being heartbroken over what happening in the show.

canon, but alternative universe

leave behind a love story by aetherae. one-shot, 9562k.

Maybe if things had been different, they wouldn't be like this. They would be worse.

ok, so, despite the summary, i naively went into this expecting a happy ending. yeah, so, no. however, this was one of the most interesting fics i’ve read in a while, because each universe it explored was so different to the ones i usually see floating around. and the writing was SUPERB.

i fell in love with a war (and nobody told me it ended) by mountainsbeyondmountains. one-shot, 18752k.

In which the North and the South have been at war for years, and Sansa unexpectedly finds herself on the run with a certain Targaryen bastard.

this is an avatar/bender au, and it is GLORIOUS. after i read this, i promptly devoured every other fic this author has written bc i loved it so much. the bending is just a backdrop to the amazing enemies-lovers this fic delivers.

modern au

Fuel and Fire by @zarahjoyce​. currently 4608k, 4/?, WIP.

"You see?" Sansa says, smiling now. "If you really have to have a room far away from me, seems like you need to move into a different hotel." As an afterthought she adds, "Or to another planet."

"Bet you'd just love that, wouldn't you?" Jon asks her.

"Loads," she snarls.

He takes a deep breath, all the while just looking at her.

Truth be told Jon will give anything in the world to be able to just-- just--

-

Jon and Sansa, and all the tropes applicable to them.

All. The. Tropes.

ok so zarah in general writes AMAZING fic, they’re always so creative and inventive and i’m always genuinely shook by the fic they write. but like, this one is the god tier one BC TROPES.

when we kiss: mmmm, fire by @dancemajicdance​. 8/8, 39705k.

Sansa might be seeing someone casually, but thanks to Arya, Robb, and Theon, it’s Jon who’s got the inside track on how to get Sansa to take him seriously.

aka: the one where jon finds out that sansa has a daddy kink, and he uses it to seduce her away from the dating scene and into his arms, heeeey-oh!

yes yes, it’s a daddy kink fic, and it’s fucking glorious alright. if that’s not your thing though (even though i’m pretty sure this fic is EVERYONE’S thing) then please, for the love of god, check out the rest of their stuff on ao3. you won’t regret it. even though they don’t write much jonsa anymore, the prolific contributions they HAVE made will go down in history as some of the best jonsa ever written imo.

As Long As We're Going Down by @alienor-woods​. 9/12, currently 42228k, WIP.

Four years after Stannis Baratheon wins the Battle of the Blackwater, Sansa Stark finds herself summoned back to King's Landing to serve as a bridesmaid at Crown Princess Shireen's wedding. When King Stannis tries to marry Sansa off to his illegitimate nephew, Edric, she thinks quick and tells him she's already married--

--to her bodyguard, Jon Snow.

i actually don’t know how to explain how much i love this. it’s written so beautifully, and it’s so realistic and just ugh. read it. the adaption to modern royalty is the best i’ve ever read, and the characters are very raw, and very realistic. (also, yes, the characters have gotten together at this point in the story, in case you were scared of committing to a wip without the satisfaction of some hot and heavy scenes).

[theravenclawmonster]

I thought getting diagnosed would be able to get me help...(post 2 of dunno how many)

The previous post of this series of posts can be found in this link post 1

Trigger warning: This post (and the later continuation posts after it titled the same) may contain mentions of abuse, mental illness, suicidal thoughts and many more things which i will try to edit in it after writing the post(s) (hopefully i’ll remember to) [yes, this is the same in all posts in series]

Disclaimer: this is just a written account of events that happened in my life in the past few weeks and my emotional/ physical response to those events. I am writing this here so that it stays here as help for people to read and maybe see what certain things feel like, and as proof or diary for when i forget what really happened and start to believe her words. Also, this is going to be a long post... a very long post. 

Okay, where was i? The first visit to the doctor. I had my tests done and bought the acidity medicine and the vitamins he suggested (i had already started to take vitamins again since a couple of weeks before, he just added folic acid to that. I also have a bit of an issue with vitamins and people telling me to eat them indicating that all will be well after that; but more about that later). in the pharmacy, my mother was pretty upset with me cuz i kicked her out of the room and told me some stuff i don’t want to remember right now. ummm... basically she said “ why did you ask me to leave, what secret were you going to tell the doctor? what did you tell him we did to you? i know what you think about me. you could have just said it all in front of me. what was with all the secrecy” [funnily enough, although i did ask her to leave, my reason was cuz i can’t really speak in front of her (she interrupts a lot too) and i was worried that i’d cry and didn’t want to hear about it for another 6 months. there was no secret or i didn’t even think about mentioning the abuse, cuz how do you just go to a stranger and say “ hi i am in pain and my parents abuse me”. even asking for help for my pain was demanding enough for me.] . she also “informed” me very angrily that the it wasn’t allowed for a woman to be alone with a male doc, a nurse must be present (which was not present) and that is probably why doc didn’t do the proper physical checkup. Well! he should have (if he thought an extensive one was necessary; he did check my breathing and stomach softness), called a nurse in or my mother in. i didn’t have any issues with him doing my physical checkup alone too.  and he didn’t mention anything about that to me at all.

Anyway, I went back thinking God knows how long was this process was going to take and if i had the energy to fight for myself and make people believe that i was actually in a lot of pain. the reports came back fine (the expensive test one too, to much displeasure of my father “but this came back fine, so expensive for no use. why did he even write that test?” as if it would have been somehow better to get a positive test back for a disease?! I really don’t know how his mind works. By the time all reports were in, it was time for my appointment at the psychiatrist and it was decided to go to her first, then on our way back show the reports to our primary doc. that way we could also talk to him about what she said.

Oh wait, i forgot to mention in my last post. the doctor only suggested the psychiatrist and later sent me her number saying that i have told her about you please take an appointment. i had to call her and i asked about her fees which she very nicely said would be discounted and that helping me and understanding what was stressing me was more important. I felt so weird then, i don’t really hear these type of things very often.... or almost ever. 

going to the clinic was easy enough, of course my mother and father accompanied me. and my mother did follow in. [let me just add that i only remember about half of what happened so...] the doctor ( hereby referred to as Psy lady) asked me “so, how are you?” and i said “ i’m good *smiled awkwardly as she realised that was not what she meant to ask*. she was like okay, how do you feel and what do you want to discuss me with. so i just sat there like a dumbass. then i asked her how much the other doc told her about me. she said it was just that you are his patient and needs psychiatric help in his opinion.

I am just going to make a dialogue format written account for that and the next doctor’s visit as this seems way too confusing.

At that time (not sure) my mother interrupted;

Mother: *turned to me* “if you don’t mind may i tell her the history etc” *in pointed politeness*

Me: “ok.”

Mother: *launched from how i was such a brilliant smiling child and wanted to take this scholarship abroad but she said no* *went off a long tangent about how she was just being a nice worried parent in controlling my life and now feels guilty cuz i can’t let it go* *finished by saying* “Dr., she just can’t forget that, she is stressed no job plus the lock down etc you know how it is. then she found out she has scoliosis in january and i think she has taken it to heart, like really it is completely asymptomatic and i have asked the doc she won’t have any problems cuz of it in the future” (i am guessing she meant having babies but really who knows) “she has just taken stress over that”.

Psy lady : *scribbled something on her paper* “My i have some time alone with her?”

Mother: “yes yes sure” *left* 

Psy lady : “so tell me a bit about yourself.”

Me: *was still fuming and recoiling and shaking in my seat cuz i just don’t understand until how long is my mother going to throw that in my face. it has been years and i wasn’t even that upset about it (at least i just quietly internalized it) but she refused, controlled my life (since birth btw and still does now) and not even let me do anything else i want to do, nor find a job, then proceeded to throw her ‘oh i feel so guilty, i am such a good parent. i have commited a crime by being caring and now i must be punished oh!’ at me. Like where am i in all that? you say no, you control, your guilt, your love, your care, your image as a parent that must never be broken. where am i in all that? ALSO you never listen to my complains about pain so shut up* 

Psy lady: ...

Me: “umm... hi... i umm never had a dream, but then i found this thing in my mid-twenties and i loved it, but they didn’t let me pursue it, then didn’t let me do anything. and now they act like i am a burden on them. now i have nothing to do or like, and i can’t even find a job or have anywhere to go. i don’t even really wanna die, i am just tired” *burst into tears yet again as i realized i had no idea why i was telling her all that and it felt so fake and story like at the same time*    “... i can’t even breathe and i am in so much pain all the time that i feel like detached from my body cuz every time i try to be in it it fucking hurts.”

Psy lady: “are your parents always this much controlling” *pointed to the door indicating my mother*

Me: “they are emotionally abusive”

Psy lady: *had been looking into my eyes but looked away at the word abusive and didn’t say anything*

Me: *continued after a little shock that i actually said it out loud* “I can’t walk, my knees hurt” *tried to repeat almost all that was possible from the previous doc*   *also told her about feeling dissociative and explained a bit how that feels for me* * told her all about how i was fine in dragging me through life but now that my body has suddenly collapsed (where as before it was just emotional pain and numbness and occasional body pains in back and stuff nothing too overwhelming or maybe i was mentally strong to ignore it) i feel very scared and lost. I was dealing with everything fine on my own even when i felt like dying but now i cant handle anything, i can’t even act in front of others; something i am exceptionally good at* *talked about lowered brain function, slowness, low blood pressure, no energy suddenly, not being able to retain information or remember anything, not having a concept of time and memory*

Psy lady: *explained about DPDR disorder and asked me about sleep eating etc.*

Me: *repeated the same: loved sleep can’t now, loved eating can’t now* 

After some time of explaining asking and answering, she said that i have depression and what happens is that our brain stops making certain chemicals and to get it to make them again we have 2 options. one is medicine; the other is motivation and exercises. it seems like the latter would be hard for me (and i confirmed that i infact cannot walk or do almost anything and exercise is too painful cuz pain everywhere) she said that the best route in my situation is to start the medicine for some weeks (she said she’d not give them for more than 4 months; whole course including tapering them out) and explained that the medicines were very safe and answered all my queries about dependency on them or side effects etc. I said if that is what she thinks would be best and if taking them means i could feel alive again and my brain function would return to normal.

she then asked me to bring my mother back in. she explained the medicines to her and said i have diagnosed her with MDD. My mother asked what is that. She said Moderate Depressive disorder. my mother asked if the medicine was necessary. she  said yes, and to not worry as these were safe and she’s only giving to get me started and pull me out of this extreme state, only for a short time. she also said that come back after 10 days of eating these, so we can see the effect and the side effects if any, and that day she’d also get me an appointment for a psychologist who worked in the same clinic as she thinks it would help me immensely. we agreed. took the medicine and left for the doc no. 1′s clinic. My mother didn’t say anything.

we reached his office and throughout the short car ride and while sitting there waiting for my turn, i was feeling very... accomplished? enthusiastic? Dunno... I was just trying not to cry cuz i finally had it written on paper, i was finally diagnosed, i had finally gotten help. yes, it was only a start and i don’t know much about how doctors work diagnosis and how much more can be added in future visits but it was a start. i finally did something to actually help me.

Finally, our turn came. we showed him the reports and told him what she said and prescribed. My mother asked him if the meds were necessary. 

doc: “yeah they really believe in starting meds right away.”

mother: “I don’t want her to take them, it’s like giving up. she can use her will power and get better right?” [she also added something very weird like ‘these stamps (mental disorders diagnosed on paper) are not good for a woman’ or something along this line]

Doc: “yes she can. i too would suggest she do that.”

Mother: *went off on a long tangent about how when she was my age she had depression after having my older sister. but she will-powered through it and didn’t take the meds etc*

doc: “yes i agree, but it really depends on her is she willing to do it” *in a tone that suggested that i should say yes immediately and will-power though life*

Me: * realizing no one is listening to me* “doctor, can you please talk with the Psy lady and ask her if they are necessary in her opinion cuz i have no will left to power though with.”

Doc: “okay.” *called her and talked right then* * told her that he thinks it would be better to willpower through it?

Mother: “well she can will-power through right?”

Doc: “well the Psy lady said that she has been powering through with her will power for years; she has none left anymore. so she thinks that meds are the best option and besides” *looked at the prescription again* “these meds are not addictive and very safe.”

Mother: * insisted on no meds for 15 more minutes and had a long discussion with doc about praying, watching motivational speakers and what not*

doc: *joined in enthusiastically*

Me: *stared into the distance and stops listening with my wobbly neck and painful back*

Doc: “well she is not even listening. can you do it? exercise?”

me: “no it hurts, as i have explained before, not like the yayy muscle cramping up cuz i worked out way and i will love exercise in 2 weeks time way. No! the tendons hurt the bones hurt the joints hurt extremely painfully and it increases with time, even after 2-3 weeks it doesn’t get better.”

Doc: “okay, how about friends? social life? what do you do at home etc”

Me: “my friends are not here, i never made new ones. no social life. even when i was going to class before the lock down, it was from home to uni, uni to home. had no friends there. and i did walked in uni for about half an hour or even more but it hurt in the beginning, i thought okay, cramps (although my knees and heels were very painful too) but it almost felt like it got better (the cramps part) but then it got way worse and after a month i couldn’t walk for more than 10 minutes at a very slow painful speed.”

Doc: *asked about pets, anything that would suggest i was a living being with a life*

Me: “pets are not allowed and so is leaving the house by myself.”

Mother: *interjected* “we have never restricted her for anything.”

By this time, i had frankly given up and i don’t remember what happened next or where the conversation went. just remember something along the lines of “ for these 10-15 days before the next Psy lady appointment, let her do whatever she likes to, don’t ask her don’t control her. let her start up her social life again. she needs to be around friends and the things she can enjoy” something like this. to which my mother said very confidently “sure whatever she wants to do”

then, we left his office and in the car she told me to “not eat the meds as we have ‘now discussed it with your doctor”

this is getting way longer. i think i’d make one more post about it, or maybe one more after that for bits that i forgot. this post seems so badly written upon second inspection. this is not even the 40% of what happened but i don’t remember what happened exactly, or even the timeline.

The third and hopefully last post of this series can be found here post 3

[genius11rare]

Figured id try this. AH  Chit chat livestream notes / QnA  7-10-20

because i'm weird i like “documenting” videos and (in this case) Live Streams. figured why keep this to myself so here. maybe one day ill just post a google docs link for a viewing copy but idk. So heres what i got for today seeing as the chitchat part will likely be cut off for the “real” video i may as well memorialize it. not perfect and may be kinda nonsensical but its what i could come up with.

Matt has a window…. With a balcony blocking above , pointless window. Red Web (trevors podcast)  “where he gets in over his head on the internet” “think if i just show them the episode of Technical Difficulties where i made garden lights into solar chargers i can get that tax kickback?” , Jacks neighbor with the tesla solar roof , having to train people to know how to install it . Ryan: “what are the odds he cant look outside at any given hour of the day and see atleast one human with a big piece of paper scratching their head” Elon Musk Starlink satellites for internet worldwide, Ryan “not saying that's _clearly_  a supervillain plot but if it was it wouldnt surprise me” , Ubisoft Far Cry teaser… oh its live action movie teaser clip- oh shit that's rendered!!! , teaser pick of a young Vaas with scars…. Ryan “Did he get them in the womb!?!?!?  Wanna know how i got these scars? Born with them don't know…”  “What is your fave type of cake?” Ryan: Chocolate (Lava)… don't put a sprinkle on it OR ILL SLAY YOU Jack: I mean is birthday a type of cake… Funfettis great Jeremy: both are stereotypical , Boston Creme cakes and Rum Cakes. Matt: Yellow cake with fudge frosting. “Pets and significant others are safe , what item do you grab in a house fire” Jack: Animation cel of the Dino DNA scene in Jurrassic Park (think i got it) Ryan: i mean my life looks alot like this corner , if i could burn this shit down to start with a new empty house i might even be happy. (chat Ryan your insurance is listening)  Jeremy: don't have much i really care about , just “well that sucks it burnt up” . Matt: first ever smash trophy i won , only one i still have. Chat answers “Photo albums , Ryans DeadPool Suit” “what games hope to be announced on microsoft stream?” Matt :  Fable 4 (Ryan ”surprised theyd try to bring it back past the press that is peter molyneu” Matt ” well now nothing holding them back , not those trees!”) Jack: not so much games but LockHeart the mini streaming Xbox. (Ryan: all those types of things have failed idk why they think - well they also made mixer and that went tits up so sure why not) Jeremy: microsoft doesnt really blow me away , arent really anything that im like “i HOPE they announce a sequel” Matt: know this isnt the right crowd but Banjo Kazzoie? Just added in smash , Crash Bandicoots got a new game it makes sense nows the time… i mean the time was already before this but fuck it do it anyway. Steffie says we are at almost 10 mil views on Achievement Knievel (9.95 mil)  Ryan “which one was that” (Jack and Jeremy) “that's Im Still In The Air” Ryan “oooohhh… now i know why i blocked it out… thought we titled it like “the greatest stunt ever” or atleast that's what we called it while making it” “rather fight 100 duck sized ChilledChaos (yey my boy chilled!) or 1 ChilledChaos sized duck?” Ryan “feel like the duck cuz atleast it still doesnt have thumbs” - Jeremy “or teeth , what is it gonna do it can bill and flipper you” Matt “i mean a bunch of tiny Chilleds can work together to kill you” Jeremy “right they will figure something out” Ryan “tiny chilled more dangerous he can infiltrate spaces i wouldnt expect to find him” “tv show / movie you could watch again for the first time what would it be?” Jack: Breaking bad and Endgame … but only if its with a crowd who is ALSO seeing it for the first time. Matt : The Office Ryan: Full Metal Alchemist (oh anime time) , everyone talks about Brotherhood but i really liked the original. Matt:  Brotherhoods a bit better but original is still good on its own (paraphrased). Ryan : had that twist at the end of “dafuq did this show just go?” made a movie based off it… skippable though. Jeremy: Futurama , *or erase all my knowledge of Whose Line* “Fave piece of Merch put out?” Jeremy: Geoff tanktop with the tribal skull. Ryan: *puts on classic gray achievement hunter hat* Jack: Extralife Posters if those count , like the Xmen AH one behind Ryan that Jon (Risinger i assume) and Pat (IDFK) made. Matt: Tiki Mugs. Jeremy “do you use those , make pina coladas?” Matt “often! When i get caught in the rain (GDI Matt) “ Chat alot saying FrontBack ,  one said Jacks Varsity Jacket. “Trapped in quarantine with a fictional character , who?” Jack: Macgyver maybe idk (Ryan: How about Dr Manhattan he could just fix it)  yeah like Q from star trek. Matt: GlaDOS but in potato form. Jeremy “theres a lot of anime girls id be ok being stuck with but idk their name” (i love jeremy)  a Matt: you want Lust from Full Metal Alchemist - Jeremy: That sounds great , (Ryan *Nods*) i can picture that i like it or if we keeping the Futurama train then Bender… think wed have A LOT of fun , and he wouldnt get me the virus! Ryan: no he would , hed deliberately try to get you  sick. Jeremy: hed bring people in “what occupation / person where you most surprised to find out was an AH fan?” Jack: Fun story im looking to learn how to Sauder , someone messaged me saying they're a fan if you need help , *hes the guy welding StarShip* Matt: well… anyone smart really… Jack (and Ryan) : the Dr Who Set/Prop designer (Ben) hes done some stuff us (think he snuck in a name plate on a show of Jack and Ryan name or something , saw a tweet about that before) Ryan: not really any that's surprising… there was the time Macauly Culkin wore our shirt (press my awesome button) “our” being RT  Jeremy: Cool meeting Xavier Woods but like we know hes a gaming fan and watches a lot of content like ours… still on Whose Line Johnathon Mangum is a AH fan , even messaging me at one point. Trevor in chat “what if president trump rode up in a Salad Chalice shirt” , Jack: one guy who bought it , like “im hip with the kids” Ryan: can you imagine someone less likely to be seen near a salad? Matt: I mean ryan he thinks he has to drink them so…. Jeremy: also been having a lot of solicitors recently for some reason… really annoying and during a pandemic. Ordered a sign thats basically “fuckoff im not answering the door LEAVE” , have a ring doorbell (some kind of doorbell app where you can talk to people at the door i guess?)  but when im recording cant be like “hang on a second - FUCKOFF” Ryan: i DO feel like you have the kind of job you could do that , if anything youd put them in the video like “hey you're live right now what you need” … Jack managed to crash 7D2D on my local system already that's a good sign (brief technical difficulties music playing as it cut to ryans screen in the game) 

[wolves-in-a-clown-car]

im on a certain wavelength right now so based on my last post i may summarize some concepts for a personal ideal WD mayhaps

all in all my hypothetical goals for Theoretical Wolvden are

spending money is an incentive (site deserves mons!!) but not something that will benefit you in a way that other people cannot get

less of a focus on trading ‘elite’ wolves, and more showcasing and improving the ones you have

everyone on equal footing more or less, with effort the primary way to get ‘up there’ rather than money

no currency gotten through normal means, the only currency are real life purchases for tokens/GC that you can only buy food/medicine/herbs (any survival/gameplay stuff) with in the raccoon store or as gifts for other players (i.e you cannot transfer tokens, but you can buy a food bundle for someone else). theres no ‘if i spend this much money ill be such a huge player!’ its just making it a little easier not to have to grind/worry about wolf health

customizer items no longer behind the GC paywall, instead not consistently accessible and on certain ROs or milestones (i.e wolf to level 10, 20.etc)

more elite customizer/decor items are unlocked by harder goals, more common items are RNG across the board (rng has its own levels of rarity, though, esp with decors!)

more emphasis on transforming existing wolves into smth better through effort and gameplay rather than breeding, pups have better starting stats/quality with better parents, but not to the same huge extent. def a boost, but still a lot to attain by leveling up and spending time on that pup u feel? just in general not having pups worth at birth be the same as an adult. as a wolf ages/levels up, they get a prettier version of their base coat, or get an applicator at a certain level that lets you apply tier IIs to it, can increase stats indefinitely, longer life span)

addition: perhaps your main wolf gets reincarnated and is the best at preserving their prior stats?? so effort isnt to ‘waste’ when they die (even if your pups will still steadily improve birth stats) but you’re not just immortal? or whoever you appoint as the next lead gets half of your current lead’s stuff added even at their current level? you can pick another lead at any time, but you will not get any (or get less/significantly less if you replace before they die/retire) of your chain of stats transferred to them?

another addition: also for clarity less emphasis on daily activity/having to do a ton of stuff in a day, but moreso longevity! you dont need to grind for hours unless you want to, and using your daily energy can still get you pretty far in a short period of time that adds up the more consecutive rollovers you have, so not to make people with busy lives feel like they cant get anywhere even if they wanted/tried to! so the morning/daily routine (feeding wolves, using inital energy bar, basic stuff) is relatively quick and gets a boost based on how many consecutive days youve done it, and you can keep doing more throughout the day but that stuff doesnt get the boost? so theres still reason to keep checking in daily/you can get farther the more time you spend, but you can still get far on longevity alone!

trading center is SOLELY trade, again no currency. exchange amusement items for wolves, food for herbs, all of that stuff!

you cant buy territory slots, you earn them through ROs/milestones

higher emphasis on socializing with other players (will think more abt that at some point later)

addition: some people dont want the harsh game of chance/grinding and thats ok!! perhaps at a certain level of wolves/lead level a lot of the issues you face are nullified? if you have less than 10 or something, or all your wolves are under a certain average level, or your lead is low level/stat youre drastically less likely to get sick, hunting chances improve, wolves get less hungry and its easier to just play casually! you wont get those huge elite bonuses unless you put the effort in, but the game isn’t difficult if you dont strive for that and you can just enjoy it! however, it does nor get harder as you go up; theres the easy area, and then theres the normal area, and nothing is made harder except the challange of keeping a growing number of wolves fed/happy! so you can keep as many wolves as you have time to upkeep :D (or there could be a switch between the two settings, but your wolves would be demoted to a certain level/appearance? so if youre high level you dont have to wait for your wolves to kick the bucket to be able to chillax)

look i know this is a huge pipe dream because WD is already established enough but i can imagine it pls let me have this (and share your theoretical wd ideas too !!!) KSJKS

[aprilwritesabook]

I appolgize in advance for this long ass post haha.

Alright, so here's the deal. This post is gonna be part rant, part confessional, and part inspirational speech. So if your following this blog purely for the updates on my books you can skip it haha.

I know a currently published author. I used to kinda be friends with them in highschool, but it was more like a friend of a friend type deal. But I digress. Point is. They recently released there second book on Amazon. And I really wanna be happy and proud of them, and to see it as an inspirational thing, buuuuut I'm almost 100 sure they are actually a fraud?

And that's not me being bitter. I really really really wish this wasn't the case. But I have the evidence to back this theory up.

1- they claimed that there first book sold out multiple times. And to be fair this one might be at least partially true. Its rated pretty high on amazon, But then again they only have 4 people rate it and three of those people are the editor formattor and artist for the book. Soooo. Yeah I sure hope they rated it well.

2- they are constantly posting stories to there social media that are far fetched at best. They work in a bookstore. And almost every other week its a slightly diffrent story about a customer who "didn't even know" he was the author who would "burst into tears" the second he told them what the book was about because they were just Soooo touched by the message that they wept to a total stranger??? If that had happened even once it would have been an odd occurance. And this is something that apparently happens alllll the time to them. (I hate to drudge up old memes like this, but)

3- this person has recently made a tick tock and a youtube channel. And like, the content isssss questionable? And that's not necessarily a crime or anything. But they give updates about it on social media as if they are speaking to a mass of adoring fans and like...you can see how many subs and views a person has. We know he dosn't have a big fan base. And I know that sounds harsh. But like, some more gullible people have asked him for advise on how to be "successful" and "gain a following", and he answers them with authority. Like he has the answers even though he clearly dosn't? And that feels really... disingenuous at best?

4- along the same vein as 3. They recently made a post on twitter about how they are "overwhelmed by the amount of love and support they have found on the site" and how they get "some many heartfelt messages." Annnd again. I clicked the account. They literally have 5 followers. And not a SINGLE person has EVER liked, retweeted, or commented on a SINGLE tweet of theirs. Not one. Soooo like not only are you pretending to have a huge fan base that dosn't exist your also making up there engagement with you? Which this alone I feel brings validate to my doubts about the other things. Clearly they arn't above blatant lying and extreme over exaggeration. And also they either don't realize we can all seeeee these facts. Or they don't think anyone will actually check and call them on it ?????

Now there's a lot of other examples I could give. But my point isn't to put this ONE person on blast. I'm not trying to start beef or cause damage to their reputation or anything. Which is why I won't say their name or what there books are. The only way you'd know who I'm talking is if you also knew them in real life. In which case you either already know all this, or you should, so you don't fall victim to their lies.

The reason I'm saying any of this at all is because I think I know why they are doing it. And why so many indie authors or would be media mogels feel the need to do this.

The issue with trying to "build an audience" and "self market" yourself, is that you really only have 2 ways of guaranteed sucess.

You either need to have a pre established audience based on success you've already had in the past. (IE youtubers and movie stars writing successful books cause there fans will buy anything of there's reguardless.)

Or you need to buy your way in. Be it by quitting your day job to make social media your full time job, buying ads, hiring a social media person,or hiring a team of people with their own audiences (audio book narrators, cover artists, managers, ect)

And if you don't ALREADY have an audience, and you don't have the funds to BUY your way in, then your just gonna have to get real lucky.

You can be lucky for knowing somebody with an "in". They work in publishing, or advertising, or they're your rich uncle. Just someone who you can go to to get that boost one way or another to get one of the first two methods going for you.

You can get lucky by commenting the right thing on the right post and gaining followers that way. Or by being in the right place at the right time to meet somebody important.

You can be lucky by having lots of supportive friends and family who will promote you and your work FOR you.

Or lastly (and this is in the realm of being a one in a million case here. So it basically never happens without one of the other things I mentioned also being true.)

You can be lucky by working REALLY hard, and being REALLY talented, and having the world actually NOTICE YOU somehow? Just one person with influence who can find you in your dark hole of insignificance and shine a light on you so now the world can actually seee you.

And that sucks.

You could write the greatest book in the whole world. Truly a masterpiece. But if nobody buys it or reads it because they don't know who you are??? Then it dosen't matter does it?

It sucks Soooo hard.

Because untill you get those people with influence to shine a light on you, theres nothing you can do. And the market is soooooo drenched in new indie authors that the odds of the right people finding and liking your book are slim to none.

Its super unfair.

The people who have the influence arn't gonna buy a book with 0 reviews and no social media following.

Why? Because THEIR brand depends on only recommending the good shit. And they need to find that good shit NOW. If they read every book written by nobody's online, they'd have to wade through ALOT of garbage. wasting all their valuable time and money till they found something worthy. And honestly, from a business stand point, you cant really fault them for that

This is where the lies come from.

So basically no matter how you look at it, or what your strategy is, In order to get fans, you need to ALREADY HAVE THEM.

When your just starting out. And I mean truly at square one. It really feels like the only way to "make it" is to "fake it"

If you PRETEND to have a big following. And you PRETEND your books are selling really well already. And you PRETEND that people care deeply about you and your work... Then there is a chance that nobody will do the homework to find out its all a lie.

And if they think your successful already, then it sends a message to the consumers brains of "well they must be good. Everybody loves it/them".

It sucks that so many people who have found real success did so with lies, cash, and being already well connected.

And then they buy it, and they follow you, and the confirmation bias sets in, and eventually you'll dupe enough people into liking you that you don't HAVE to lie anymore.

Those of us with no cash and too high a conscious to lie our way to the top are left with virtually no chance of succeeding no matter how hard we work or how good our content is.

And I'm not claiming to be "better than" or "more worthy" than anyone else. I wanna make it clear that of your in the portion of having it fake it so you can follow your dreams then more power to you. Its a valid strategy. I hate that it works and I hate that its the only option sometimes. But I don't hate the people as creators for "doing what it takes." I get it. Really I do.

And it suckks major ass that so many people feel like this is the only way.

My whole point here. Is that we have slowly built a system where this is our reality. And honestly? End of the day? There's not a damn thing we can do to change it at this point.

In a perfect world made of unicorns and puppies. I could say "hey lets all go ready books by completely unknown authors. Be the change you wanna see in the world." But at the end of the day, especially in the unfiltered world of self publishing, It would be a complete shot in the dark to spend your resources on something completely unknown. We rely on word of mouth, and "best sellers" and high following to do the work of filtering out the bad stuff for us and it would be unrealistic if not impossible to go back on it now. Even if we wanted to there algorithms and shit built into the code. You'll never find the books that Amazon dosnt want you to find unless you search for it directly.

Now comes the confession/inspirational bit

I know all of the above to be true...But I'm choosing not to care

I'm not gonna lie my way to the top. I'm not gonna hide my struggles out of fear of seeming inferior. So here goes

I struggle a lot with depression and anxiety. I've been working on it, and I've gotten so much better in recent years. But there are always gonna be times when I slip up and my mental illnesses take over

When I was writing my first book I felt really empowered and good about myself for finally getting past all my own barriers and following my dreams.

And then once I was done writting and editing and I was ready to show the world and get feedback. I flopped.

I couldn't find anyone willing to beta read. Those who said they would do it (even people who claimed they "couldn't wait") ghosted me after I actually sent it to them

I was hoping to get 20 people. I really wanted it to be the best it could be. Only 11 actully signed up. Of that 11, 5 people actually read it: My spouse, my brother, my best friend, and 2 others. Those two others read the first bit I sent them, took a few weeks to get back to me, said they loved it, but then Neeeeeeeeever got back to me when I sent them the next chunk.

Now you can look at all that and come to the conclusion that it sucks. I know I sure did.

The struggles at each step made me doubt myself more and more to the point that I almost gave up writing all together.

And I didn't want to take about it or how it was making me feel, even though it was having a serious impact on me. I wanted to bottle it all up and let it consume me. Allllll because I didn't want people online to write me off as a failure before even giving me the chance.

I wasn't lying about being successful. I was just trying to hide the fact that I wasn't.

And that's almost as bad. Because then all the new authors just feel worse about themselves and their journey because they think they are the only ones.

Your not alone.

Everyone is struggling.

We just aren't talking about it.

I haven't written a word in over a week because I've been so afraid my second book will be dead on arrival like my first.

And I KNOW somewhere out there is someone just like me whose thinking of giving up.

Don't.

Just keep going.

Do your best. And then come find another struggling writer and share with each other. The world outside might not understand your struggle. But another author might.

We can't change the market. We can't change the way social media works, or how people decide if they will buy things

But what we CAN change, is whether those of us within the community want to be honest about our struggles and frustrations. Or if we want to hide them away and lie about them for the sake of making more sales

I think by being honest with one another we can create a better network.

That way the next time you feel like garbage for not being an "instant celebrity" like everyone else. you can look at the community and realize that you were never the problem

If we just keep making new writing friends our collective reach will eventually take hold in the outside world. Don't wait for a random influencer to notice you. Just make one friend at a time. Be known amongst your peers and maybe the rest will follow

And if your a writer desperate for feedback, or just a friend to share your troubles with. Hit me up. My inbox is always open.

[jpat82]

Wade and the Adventures in Pup-Sitting

"Luke..." You paused after the man had picked up the phone connecting to the blue tooth speakers.

"Why does this sound like something that bodes ill for me?" Luke replied with heavy sigh, no doubt the man had dropped his pen and was currently pinching the bridge of his nose

"In the words of NASA, Huston we have a problem." You uttered looking down at the mischievous molting duck and then back at his partner in crime, Tessa.

~~~~~ Hours Earlier~~~~~

Tom Holland had duck sat so many times for you that when he asked you to watch his beloved Tessa you agreed in a heartbeat. It was no secret that the avian and canine got along fabulously so, multiple pictures of the dynamic duo had been posted to the younger Tom's Instagram almost making the duck as famous as the man who played the would be Asgardian king.

It was a lovely spring day, after the long and mostly wet winter you had been itching to spend time outside in the sun. Whether it was working on the yard, going for a walk around the neighborhood or even taking a stroll down to your bakery, you relished in it. You had both flightless bird and pup on leashes, you stepped out your front door, locking it before heading out.

On any given day walking wade around the block could be a task in itself, some days the duck waddled without incident. Others he could be a demon possessed, hell bent on attacking the slightest flower to even gently sway in your direction. Days walking both dog and duck was a challenge but entertaining nonetheless.

Between Tessa bounding up to bushes, tail wagging. Every and again the silver animals tail would thump Wade in the head and in turn he would started quacking up a storm, wings stretched back. Then Wade would rush up any clump of weeds in attempt to trash them to pieces, often times tangling the two. This would have you stop, much to feathery ones disgruntledness, to untangle the leashes.

It wasn't till you started your walk into town that your quiet day really started to get abit more hectic. Wade was in a mood.

It first started at a cross walk the fearless, feathered animal paced, waiting impatiently for his turn to cross the street. He chirped lowly, head lowered to the ground. Just as a car passed his head lifted and he pulled on his harness ready to release the fury of his six pounds of weight could handle. He pulled and he thrashed, as you stood and waited patiently for the light to change.

Once the cars rolled to a stop and the walk signal turned on, you stepped out onto the black top, Wade momentarily distracted by the car that waited. He hissed, his wings stretched back, head lowered. Tessa pranced next you, tail happily moving behind her. You gave Wade a gentle tug, and the duck waddle behind you, giving all vehicles the stink eye.

You began to pass one of the new shops to open up, glass windows from ground to ceiling. Your reflection mirroring you as you strode on pass, Tessa by your side. But not Wade.

Of course not Wade, the duck that walked amongst you had to be stopped at all cost. He lunged, and then bounced off the reflective surface. Rolling back to his feet, he quacked up a storm, hissing and grumbling. He ninja chopped at the window, a valiant attempt to protect you at all cost. You looked back once the leash had pulled tight, Wade jump kicked at the glass, smudged webbed foot prints covered the bottom two feet of the glass.

You sighed lightly and shook your head as you walked back and lifted the thrashing creature off the ground, deciding that it might just want easier to carrying him past the distracting and oh so fearsome smooth pane. The bakery wasn’t to much further ahead, but you still didn’t want to carry the little bird any more then you already did.

The bell dinged as you stepped in, setting your duck down, Amilia walked out from the back. Her apron smudged with red frosting, her smile brighten when she saw both animals.

“Oh good, you brought them!” She responded excitedly. “I’ve been tweaking one of your recipes, I was thinking.. what if we start to bake and sell treats for pets?”

“I’m listening.” You smiled, she clapped her hands together as she dashed into the back, leaving you to wait. Wade waddled over to his corner where an overly large dog bed was set up.

“Alright!” Amilia bounded back out, platter in hand. An array of cookies lay on top, and from what you could tell different flavors. “So, I was taking one of your old recipes, the one that everyone with a functioning brain loves, and I swapped out the ingredients that pups cant have and swapped in stuff that they could have. Ta da! Pup Sweets!”

You grinned swiping one off the platter, Tessa sitting down looking up at you with hopeful eyes, tail swaying behind her gently. Wade lifted his head from the dog bed he had curled up in.

“That is, maple, cinnamon, and pumpkin.” She beamed, you gave the happy pup the treat. Tessa gobbled it down in one bite, Wade rushing over for his own treat. “Don’t worry Wade, I wouldn’t forget you.”

Amilia pulled what looked like a granola from her apron, before handing it over to the excited bird.

“It’s mealy worm and grain, I baked up a batch yesterday. How’s the holiday going? Able to relax a bit?” She asked as he practically swallowed it whole.

“It’s alright, Tom had to go over some stuff with Luke. Figured I’d take these two on a walk and thought I’d stop by.” You responded asyou started to walk towards the door. “However I should continue on before grumpy decides the floor boards are danger to society again.”

Wade hissed the dark spot in the floor that he seemed to usually focus on when he was in a bad mood. There were gouges all around the spot from the bill of his beak. He lunged at it just as you pulled his leash causing the bird to fall back and roll to side. He grumbled as waddled angrily towards the door throwing hiss back to the spot.

You exited the building and started back on your trip home when from the corner of your eye you spotted the unmistakable sight of a man with a camera. Just what you needed, paparazzi, a fast approaching one at that. Instinctively you scooped the bird up, who had spotted the man as well.

“Please, stay back.” You called out as the man continued to approach. It was to late though, despite Wade’s lack of ability to fly he had recently developed the knack to launch himself from your chest.

~~~~~~~~~

“So Wade did what?” Luke asked, his voice a higher notch then it had been previously. You hung your head in shame and in truth be told humor.

“I do believe, Wade hurdled himself at the camera, feet stretched out, slamming it into the man’s face. Then on his decent down, some how latched his beak onto the man’s nether regions.” Tom chuckled, looking over at you while Wade sat happily in your lap. Tessa curled up in the back seat. “And then Tessa, somehow having had wrapped the leash around y/n’s legs attempted to rescue Wade pulled her from her feet. The man by that point had pulled himself free from our dastardly duck and was last seen hobbling down the street.”

Luke was silent on the other side for a bit, and then your heard the sound of him trying to stifle his own laughter.

“Wade the street duck, thwarts the another evil villain.” Luke stated humorously.

“Not funny.” You stated, trying to hold your own laughter back.

“Wade the super duck rescues damsel in distress!” Tom chimed in, the whole way home, Wade resting gently watching as the world went by.

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[egotisticalee]

angelii-ii replied to your post

“angelii-ii: ok but them talking about pain reminded me of some of my...”

oh I'm down if you want to talk about them dude fdjhgfdjh

you know what? its pain story time gsdfdsfsdfsd ill put em all under a read more. tws for a couple vague mentions of blood, some unsanitary kinda stuff, menstruation, brief mention of surgery (not in any detail) and some detailed descriptions of a whole lotta pain.

okay so in remembering all my pain stories, ive remembered quite a few injuries i got when i was little, that i dont really remember the pain of, i just remember that it was painful, including

falling (with extra momentum) and splitting my gum open on cobblestones

getting smashed in the face with a dodgeball

that time i got a throat infection so bad that breathing hurt and i sat in the school office for several hours before my mum picked me up

falling off monkey bars, landing on my butt and being so winded that i couldn’t speak for ten minutes

being pulled over by my nana’s dog, landing on my shoulder and yet again being winded, this time so bad that i couldn’t breathe in for about ten seconds and for those ten seconds i genuinely thought i might die

that time i got a bladder infection - i remember writhing in pain in the backseat of my mum’s car as she drove me to A&E but i don’t really actually remember the pain

the chronic stomachaches i would have that i recently realised might be connected to my possible lactose intolerance/sensitivity and the fact that i pretty much only drank milk as a child (can you guess how the bladder infection happened)

with doing pole, i constantly get covered in bruises and such and a lot of moves cause some low-level pain but that’s because of the grip - the pain is mostly due to like, the pulling on the skin and its never really more than a few bruises and some tender skin on the thighs (except for that time where i somehow tore the skin of my thigh... underneath the top layer of skin fsdsadsa). the closest i’ve gotten to a proper pole injury is falling out of a duchess onto my arse and being a little more bruised that usual, and the several times in the past couple months that i’ve smashed my head into the pole whilst doing a flying cat at full power. 

and honestly pole has done a lot for my pain threshold. it’s like, i notice the pain is there, but it doesn’t bother me because i’ve felt it so often. and its also because i know that the pain of keeping this grip is way way less than the pain that i will feel if i let go sdfsdfsdfsd i find myself with so many small bruises now that i know aren’t from pole because of the position of them but i cant think where i got them - because they’re probably from bumping into things and that pain is so small and common to me that i immediately forget about it

on the other hand i also have. really bad hips. and sometimes when im just moving, ill catch a nerve and a shot of pain will go through my entire leg and that shit hurts. ive noticed it most commonly happens if i twist when im stepping somewhere but i dont turn the leg thats planted. i was also once balancing on one leg whilst putting a sock on and my hip just. popped out. and i think it immediately went back but i couldnt properly move that leg for ten minutes and i was in a fair bit of pain

my worst pain experiences though... hoo boy. i kinda narrowed them down to three.

im afab and i have periods so of course i gotta deal with cramps every so often, and they can get pretty bad - just like, doubled over, seeking out anything warm to put on my stomach. i’d say about a 5 on the pain scale. but after my gsce exams (exams that uk kids take in year 11 which is the equivalent of sophomore year of high school. they’re the first exams you take that you get an actual qualification from) i didnt have my period for 3 months. and if im late on my period, my cramps get bad. so on the 17th august, a week before my 16th birthday, ya boy was in fucking agony and for some reason in my brain i was also vehemently against taking any painkillers. eventually my nana convinced me to take one of her morphine tablets though and i felt way better hdfgdsff

theres also the time last november when i got an ear infection. earlier that day i had had a massive nosebleed that lasted for about 20 minutes and made me feel super woozy, so along with all the shit that came with dealing with that (i had to go to A&E to get checked out) it was already a pretty rough day. and then that evening my ear started hurting real bad and it just progressively got worse, and i hardly slept that night at all. i was in pure agony by like. 1am and it lasted the entirety of the night, no matter that i took painkillers. the only reprieve i got was at one point, i was watching yt videos and an ad for headspace came on, and i listened along to the meditation thingy it was doing, but of course once the ad was over, the pain was back full force and i could do nothing but cry (so of course i started to get a headache on top of all of it). thankfully once i got to the doctors the next day and got some antibiotics, it cleared up super fast. i was also talking to darkwarf (i wont tag him so he doesnt have to read this fdsffds) and funnily enough our talks that night were what birthed his character teddy.

and then what i think is officially the worst pain ive ever been in, was the first time i got my tailbone infection. me and my mum went on a coach to a roller derby game and at the end of the day my tailbone was aching quite a bit, as if i’d bruised it. i brushed it off as just being the fact that i had sat in shitty coach seats for several hours, then uncomfortable plastic chairs for more hours, then shitty coach seats again. the next day though. ya boi was in agony again. i could not find any way to be comfortable - the closest i could get to comfort was standing. every movement of my hips was pure pain and i couldnt walk properly. the pain was so bad i just could not put one foot in front of the other and i ended up walking by essentially swiveling on each foot and keeping my hips as still as possible.  the worst part was when my mum drove me to the walk in centre - although i knew that i was going to where i would be helped, the car. oh, the car. somethign about that seat - and since this infection has recurred several times, i know it is a feature of all car seats - maybe it was the angle, or whatever, but it was pure agony to sit in. i spent the whole car ride with my arm on the car door and my other hand on the car seat, holding myself up to make it not so bad, but with every bump of the car, pain was fucken. shooting through me. it would take me like 10 full seconds to lower myself into a chair or push myself out of one.  sleeping was awful cause i sleep on my side and i turn quite a few times before i can get to sleep - and of course turning with my hips how they were was incredibly painful. im not very vocal when it comes to pain but this thing had me yelping and everything. plus the antibiotics i had to take were fucking miserable. they tasted absolutely disgusting and i had to have them 4 times a day on an empty stomach (no food 2 hours before or 1 hour after) for 2 week and it was awful. this bastard is also recurring. the last time it got super bad was funnily enough about a week after my ear infection. honestly yall. late nov-dec 2018 was the worst fucken time for my physical health. but actually! in 2020 i am hopefully getting a surgery to stop the infections once and for all! but with the way the NHS is going, honestly who fucking knows. i do know that i will hunt down and kill boris johnson if he stops me getting this surgery.

[pikabian]

so like ima make a post of y progress shots because idk i think theyre fun. ill put it under a read more because otherwise it long af

i first just like brain storm basic ideas rlly messily in small thumbnail stages to like? rlly think about composition i guess and figure out what i want to convey? i have like at least two ideas and i pick the one i like the best and use it as something to work from

then its sketchy wetchy time, first with just like basic circles and stuffs and then actually going in and adding some detail? i dont really add in like loads because i like to keep lining loose and stuff

then i try adding the rough idea for colours n stuffs, just so i kinda know what im working with (like as a base for what i wanna convey again)

but yea like i said with the sketch i  dont rlly add details till this stage, the lining phase, most notably with the hair u know. i feel like i cant really sketch most of the details and im better at just lining it straight off u know? i dont mind if it comes out a little bit messy so long as i convey what im trying to convey

we block in like minecraft.png. i add in the base colours and markings on AB and Lucky as well as some of the block background colours. i havent added all the colours in lucky’s mane just yet bc that takes effort lol

then i start building up the background? i really hate doing backgrounds so much and tend not to do them pretty much 99% of the time, but like im rlly got dam trying here

added the extra mane colours finally lol

then i actually get to work on shading. i haventrlly gone into the process of how i shade bc thats a whole other thing in itself, but it sorta involves like soft and hard shading n stuff u kno, as well as adding in highlights

like i have a set process/rule of how i shade and sorta just play around with it till i like how it looks u kno. i also do one character at a time because am impatient

added tuh lucky. kinda felt iffy about her shading but i think its bc she’s more bright and multicoloured than apple bloom is so. i can make it werk

changed the colour of the lines from black to a sort of dark blue. its kinda not rlly noticeable but like i kinda like it

added some extra clovers over the top because dey kinda just b like floating in the background. at this point tho i was sick of drawing clovers so i feel like i could have added more. also lucky’s hair got sparkles now

dont usually add cutie marks because im lazy but they were kinda important for what this scene was trying to convey. also yes apple blooms cutie mark is different from canon cause i hate her canon one

added the final touches, which is mostly just random overlays and stuff as any artistic professional does obv. i spent like way too long on this piece and i dont rlly have what i wanted to show for it, but oh well. das it. it done