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natsuhikoshidou · 6 years ago

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Life Cheating Game - Chapter 6: I Wonder If It’ll Rain Tomorrow?

Chapter 5: Part 2 | Epilogue

‘Tomorrow, Ruma will kill you. Don’t protect Maki-chan.��

I can’t stay here anymore.

I decided to leave my grandparents’ house.

I’m scared of the future of tomorrow. I’m also scared of death. However, I’m also scared of bringing misfortune to those important to me.

So I’m running away. To a place where people close to me, won’t be wrapped up in my misfortune.

Momiji and my grandmother remaining at the hospital, I returned home temporarily.

The time is around 7 pm. If it was like normal, it would be time for us four to gather round for dinner, but inside my house fell coldly silent.

Going up to the second floor, I prepared to leave my house.

Taking a shoulder bag out of my closet, I crammed in a minimal amount of clothes. Except winter clothing, which is bulky. I probably have no choice but to endure the cold with a coat. In terms of the other things I take with me, there was only my wallet. I had my phone on me.

Putting on the coat, lastly, I took the card out of my school bag, and put it in my pocket.

Even though it’s this late in the game, I haven’t let go of the card.

After that, I opened the locked drawer in my writing desk, and took out my bankbook. The fortune and insurance money my parents left behind was set aside, untouched. The pocket money my grandparents gave me was also basically untouched, and put in the same account.

Opening the bankbook and checking the balance, together with my hanko in the same drawer, I put them on the living room table downstairs. I didn’t forget the memo with the pin number written on it either.

(*A hanko is a stamp of your name. It’s used to sign legal documents, like a signature)

That should be enough for grandfather’s medical bill.

Standing stock still in the living room, for a short while, I thought about the seven years I spent in this house.

I can’t thank my grandparents enough. Because I was supported by lots of people, not just Sora, I’ve been able to live to today. Not repaying for that favour, and instead rubbing off misfortune, I’m pitiful, embarrassed and haven’t apologized.

Running away like this is in order to protect people important to me, I can’t say anything like that no matter what.

Betraying everyone, I’m running away for myself.

Going to the entrance hall, I put on my shoes and carry my bag, I put my hand on the sliding door.

Several seconds, hesitating, as if to shake off my memories, I opened the door. The cold December air blew in, like it condemned me.

Going outside and locking the door, I walked out, my back to my house.

Without turning around once, I walked intently.

◊

Without a destination, I just continued walking, trying to get far away from the city I was used to living in.

At an intersection, I bent down a different direction than usual. Completely unable to get around in the night, I walked down a path where I heard perverts come out. Only wanting some unknown scenery, I just walked.

I didn’t mind getting on a bus or train. I didn’t want to go where people were. Because if they have even a little bit to do with me, any of those people might experience misfortune because of me.

--- I wonder what Momiji’s doing about now.

When I stopped walking at a red light, that thought passed through my mind.

--- She might find it strange that I didn’t go back to the hospital.

--- Since she doesn’t have a phone, what about when she gets home, and she finds the passbook in the living room.

Shaking my head, I drove out those thoughts. And then, I walked off.

When I’m simply walking and only looking forwards, I end up not thinking of anything.

I wonder how much time has passed. Before I knew it the city traffic became far away, I walked down a lonesome path, scarce with streetlights. When I look down the ground wasn’t asphalt, it was patterned brick. Only the sound, jijiji, emitted from the nearby city lights could be heard awfully loudly.

“…?”

Feeling uncomfortable, I raised my head.

There was something coming down this path. In the spread out brick-coloured pattern, I remembered it.

I looked around me. New resident houses on the side of the road were lined up, on the opposite side to them was a wall. The upper part waved, a wall with fairy-tale designs carried on somewhere.

And then, looking up above me, I saw that.

“…Hahaha”

Without thinking, I laughed wryly.

Even though it was in the dark of the night, it was a large shape that I clearly remembered.

It was a Ferris wheel.

Kitahiragawa City’s landmark, the giant Ferris wheel from Kitahiragawa children’s amusement park.

Unexpectedly, or maybe unconsciously I chased after the shadow of the Ferris wheel, I came to the place of my memories with Sora and my parents.

The path I was on now must be a public footpath surrounding the amusement park. Beyond the wall, the closed and unlit amusement park was dead silent, the difference to the light music that’s played in daytime, felt kind of ominous.

Sighing, I looked at my watch. It’s around 11 pm. Since I left my house, only 3 hours have passed. Conscious of the passage of time, as soon as I continued walking my legs felt heavy.

11pm. That’s the time the prediction of tomorrow appears on the card.

I took the card out of my coat pocket. It was an almost reflexive action. Checking the card at this time, has already become part of a habit.

On the card I saw reflecting in the street light, this was written.

‘Tomorrow, Ruma will kill you. Don’t protect Maki-chan.’

The prediction of death didn’t panic me this time. But, I felt a question.

“Protect, Maki-chan? …Ruma?”

Ruma. Ruma-chan. Something that Maki-chan was searching for.

She’s going to kill me? Why? Even though I don’t know Ruma at all? Protect Maki-chan, that means, Ruma is going to try and kill Maki-chan?

“It’s no use… I don’t know.”

What I understand, is the fact that Maki-chan will appear again.

And when she does, the fact that I cannot protect her no matter what.

Confirming only those two points, I returned the card to my pocket.

“------“

It suddenly appeared.

Without a sound, without a trace, as if to say just like it was there from the beginning.

I felt like it emitted some words. However, I really couldn’t make it out.

“……?”

Holding my breath, I turned around.

The thing that appeared before my eyes, was the body of a girl.

She must be about middle-school aged. Black robe-like clothes covered her whole body. Her hair was white in contrast. Also, it was so long it seemed to be touching the floor. On her face, neck, arms, legs and on her body exposed from her robe, her skin was so white she looked sick. All of the white parts stood out in the night’s darkness, only her face, arms and legs looked like they were floating in the darkness.

I was unable to take my eyes away from the girl’s face.

She had a good looking face. A beauty, like she was artificially made.

However, she looked just like a dead person. The whiteness of her skin, her completely lifeless eyes. Her eyes, like they were only smashed around with black paint, her expressionless face, like everything in the world was hopeless, I couldn’t believe she was a living person.

Weird. Something’s strange about this girl.

In definite discomfort, I took one more step back.

The girl’s staring half open eyes looked up at me.

“What are you…?”

With a voice like I was suffocating, I asked the girl.

“I am—“

The girls voice was childish as she answered, but somehow, mechanical.

“I am a thing that grants people’s wishes. Simply, a thing for that.”

“Wishes…?”

“Yes. So, I must grant his wish.”

Speaking with a face and voice that held no emotion, the girl gently raised her right hand.

Her white right arm extended directly from her shoulder. At the end of it, a small dainty right hand. It shook. Looking like it blurred for just a moment, in the next moment, she held a white pole in her right hand.

“His wish. That is, retribution.”

At the end of the white pole, which was about as tall as her, a blade was attached.

Arcing, a blade like a crescent moon.

It was a huge scythe. A scythe, prepared by a Shinigami, to reap the life of a person.

“The appropriate retribution, for all humans. The appropriate rank, for all humans.”

While she muttered, the girl took a step forward.

The distance between me and the girl was about 5 of her steps. At a breath away, a distance suitable for jumping at my neck with her scythe.

“Did you come to kill me?” “Yes. I have come to kill you.”

I wasn’t surprised at her emotionless affirmation.

The appropriate retribution. This girl must have come to give me that. Sinful me, who sacrificed others for the sake of my own happiness, must have become so much of a sinner that my life will be taken in retribution.

This girl must really be a Shinigami, I thought.

“Good with good, bad with bad, retribution, by death with death.”

The girl took another step forward, she pulled back her right arm that held the scythe.

If she swings that scythe, and it hits my neck, my life will definitely be reaped.

I shut my eyes calmly.

It can’t be helped. It can’t be helped that I’ll be killed. I’ve killed many people. Because of me, people that shouldn’t have died have died. That sin will, surely, like the girl said, be paid for with my death.

When I thought that, though my eyes were closed.

--- No. I don’t want to die.

Underneath my eyelids, the bodies of my deceased parents appeared. The body of my teacher that was crushed to death also appeared.

My own body overlapped with them, the thought ‘that’ll be you’ raced around my head.

“Ah…. Aaah…..!”

In tremendously swelling fear, I was paralyzed, and fell down on the ground.

Immediately afterwards, the scythe that the girl swung skimmed the top of my head. The scythe, that made the sound of rushing wind when it swung, hit a streetlamp next to me, and easily cut through it.

The streetlamp that crashed to the ground, made a large noise, shards of glass scattered.

“Hih…… Hiih……..!”

The girl looked down at me. Emotionless black eyes. However, they were like she blamed me, like she despised me.

---I don’t want to die.

Sweat was jetting out of my whole body. Both legs trembling.

---I don’t want to die.

Once more, the girl swung up her Shinigami scythe. The white blade, glistened in the moonlight.

--- I don’t want to die!

“U,Uuh…. Uwaaaaaaa!”

I stood up desperately, and ran off in a panic to escape.

Tossing my heavy bag, while I cried, I ran with all my power to the promenade. Ominously, I felt just like they embodied death itself, her face, arms and legs looked like they floated in the darkness.

Without thinking of deciding to get help from the neighbouring private houses, I ran.

Before long, down the path, I found a part of the wall that became a little lower. Not thinking of the consequences, I set about frantically clambering up the wall, to take refuge in the amusement park grounds.

When I fell off the wall my stricken side hurt, not caring, I ran.

It was pitch black inside the amusement park. The figures of the equipment that stopped moving laying in the darkness, cast shadows like huge bizarre creatures.

At any rate I ran through the darkness. I was thinking ‘I have to hide’. Not allowing her to pass me, the Shinigami girl was like death itself, pursuing me in retribution. Though I considered that if I ran for a while I could find somebody to save me, I was pretty slow. When I turned around, the girl easily jumped over the wall, and followed after me, only looking at me.

“Help me… I don’t want to die… somebody…!” Mixed with my rough breathing, words begging for help leaked out of my mouth.

Slipping through the sides of the spinning teacups, going around the merry-go-round, I ran earnestly.

The girl behind me, without the sound of footsteps, gradually closed the distance between us. She was so fast I couldn’t believe it. This thing isn’t a human after all.

--- In that case, what is she?

When that thought crossed my mind, the Ferris Wheel was before me.

The large circle with carriages hanging on it looked like a stop-sign. A memory of Sora resurged, when I remembered that the person that killed her was me, the thought that Sora wouldn’t try and take away my hiding place crossed my mind,

“…Ah!?”

I tripped over, at the base of the Ferris wheel, fell over violently.

“Uuh…. Guh…….!”

My severely hurt legs hurt, I groaned out.

Unsightly tumbling to the floor, the girl carrying a scythe, slowly came closer to me.

Death, slowly came closer to me.

“No… no….!”

Like I was running away from reality, I shut my eyes tightly.

“I finally found you~. It’s been a while, hasn’t it Ruma-chan?”

When Maki-chan’s voice came out, I opened my eyes.

Her reddish short hair, strange black and white clothes, the self-proclaimed God Maki-chan, who gave the card to me, was standing between me and the girl.

“Maki, chan…?”

“Ah, Natsuhiko. Hey, she was close to you after all.”

Turning around and speaking, Maki-chan pouted and made a dissatisfied expression.

It was hard to make out because it was dark, but the world had become monochrome. It wasn’t just that, the wind had stopped. Looking at my wrist watch, the second hand didn’t move. Time had stopped.

In the black and white and standing still world, only me, Maki-chan and the girl, were colourful.

“Ruma-chan… you don’t mean…?”

“Right. Let me introduce you. That girl is Ruma-chan. The girl that I was looking for.”

Maki-chan pointed at the girl.

Ruma-chan. Ruma. That girl is her. Well then, the future prediction that I saw earlier wrote that that girl is the Ruma that will kill me.

“You are… the thing that created me.”

The girl – Ruma’s lifeless eyes looked towards Maki-chan.

“Then you are also, the thing that obstructed his wish.”

“Obstructed? Meee? ...Aah, right. The card that I gave Natsuhiko. Then Ruma-chan’s power couldn’t surpass it?”

“I have to remove, the thing that obstructs the fulfilment of his wish.”

“Eeh. Ruma-chan, you mean me? How interesting. Was that also his wish?”

During the conversation, though Maki-chan’s facial expressions rapidly changed, Ruma didn’t even blink. What moved were only her lips, and her body that changed into an alert stance.

“I am a thing that grants people’s wishes. I will do everything necessary in order to do that.”

“Hmm. That’s kind of boring. Even though you were created by me, I think you should be more interesting.”

Lying on the ground, I wasn’t in the conversation. It wasn’t the right mood for me to cut in.

“Natsuhiko, you think so too, right?”

“Eh… no, I…”

Suddenly being brought into conversation, I didn’t know what was happening.

“I mean, if you finally made her, you’d want her to be interesting, right? Like parental love?”

“…Did you create that girl, Maki-chan?”

“Yeah. Because I wished for her. I wanted her.”

“Huh…?”

“I told you, because I wished for her. Even though nobody remembers it, I wanted ‘a thing that grants wishes’ like myself. So, Ruma-chan was created.”

Maki-chan chuckled.

Ruma simply watched her, with emotionless eyes.

“Is Ruma your copy or something, Maki-chan…?”

“No no. It wouldn’t be interesting if she was created the same as me, right? While she has the ability to grant wishes, apart from that, she’s the complete opposite from me. Her personality, and the way she thinks, and the way she speaks. Aah, also, she looks the same as me though.”

“The same? How?”

I compared Maki-chan and Ruma. Their clothes and hair are different, they don’t look like they bare even the slightest resemblance of one another.

“Hmm… Ruma-chan’s a little dark, isn’t she. If she cut and dyed her unfashionable hairstyle, and if she grinned just like me, she’d probably be a splitting image of me.”

“Trying to resembling you is meaningless to me.”

“Eeeh? Saying boring things agaaain… We should try and be twins. C’mon, let’s switch clothes.”

Muh, an expressionless Ruma, to pouting Maki-chan.

No matter how you looked at it, they weren’t similar.

“Accomplishing his wish. That is meaningful to me.”

Ruma re-positioned her scythe. It’s point, obviously aimed at Maki-chan.

“Hmm. How brave.”

Even though she faced a dangerous weapon and intent to kill, like she didn’t particularly care, Maki-chan tampered with her bangs in boredom.

The similarities between Maki-chan and Ruma are, in any case, the fact that Ruma was created to grant the wishes of humans, for that sake, she now aims for my life, I understand the fact that in order to kill me she will try to remove Maki-chan. However,

“Who wished for that.”

Standing up, I looked at Ruma. The girl’s dead eyes didn’t reply with anything.

To say that I have no knowledge of people that would wish to kill me, would be a lie. If you consider the fact that I pushed death onto people around me, I can’t complain that anybody could hold a grudge against me.

However, in terms of the people that knew about that…

--- No, it’s not him.

The face of my only friend, who knew about the card, appeared in my mind.

“Maki-chan, do you know?”

If it’s the girl that calls herself a God, would she know about somebody who wished for me to be killed?

Standing in the space between Ruma and I, Maki-chan turned around, and spoke.

“Do you want to know?”

I nodded at her, who smiled mischievously.

“Well, let’s have a Three-Option Quiz!”

“…..Huh?”

“Among these three people, which is the correct answer!? If you get it right, you’ll win a luxurious trip to Hawaii! Woah, amazing!”

She’s incomprehensible.

Suddenly sticking out her hand with 3 fingers raised, her whole face smiled.

“First! Natsuhiko’s little sister, Momiji-chan! Second! Natsuhiko’s friend, Akito-kun! Third! Natsuhiko’s senpai, the board –game club’s Buchou-san! Fourth! The old lady living next to Natsuhiko’s house, who’s actually alive! C’mon, which one is it!?”

“No, that was Four-Options…”

This is all a joke.

Maybe she was implicitly trying to tell me she didn’t care, or maybe that’s just her nature.

“Hey hey, only ten seconds left!”

Contrary to me, dropping my shoulders, hurrying me with a face-wide smile, Maki-chan.

Behind her.

Behind Maki-chan, I saw, a white figure danced.

“Ma, Maki-chan! Behind you!”

“Heh?”

Maki-chan turned around.

Before her eyes, Ruma approached, swinging up her huge scythe.

“I will grant his wish. For that, I will remove all obstacles.”

I heard Ruma’s mumble awfully clearly.

Maki-chan, like an idiot, didn’t move.

The white scythe glistened. Aimed at Maki-chan’s thin neck, it swung downwards.

“----------!”

I felt like I shouted something.

Though I thought it was someone’s name, I really don’t know.

Before I knew it, I had both arms stretched in front of Maki-chan.

The scythe aimed at Maki-chan’s neck changed its trajectory, and tore into my stomach.

Fresh blood splattered.

◊

--- Why did I do that?

I saw everything in slow motion. The spray of blood that whirled in the night, the movements of the scythe that cut me, Ruma’s long dishevelled hair, like the world had sunk under the ocean, all movement was slow.

In them, only Ruma’s facial expression, didn’t move.

--- Why did I do that?

Right, I thought over again.

And yet, I should know. The fact that if I protected Maki-chan I would be killed.

Future predicting is absolute. Even though if I was scared of death, I should have obeyed the card.

In the world where time flows by sluggishly, I slowly fell to my knees. My neck shook with a jerk, I saw the black and white starry sky, and the brick covered floor one after another.

--- What did I shout?

I’m sure I felt like I shouted Maki-chan’s name.

Because I tried to protect Maki-chan, that would be the most normal.

But in my heart I shouted a different name.

Probably, Sora’s name.

I couldn’t protect her, I thought.

Grabbing Sora’s hand, who was about to fall off the platform, and assuming I fell instead, I wanted to save Sora.

---Aah, right. I wanted to atone.

Even if I saved Maki-chan, there’s no way I can pay for the sin of letting Sora die.

I’m so stupid. Really, so stupid…

While I fell to the floor, the world regained its speed from earlier.

“Wai-, Natsuhiko?”

Maki-chan’s voice, full of surprise.

I saw Ruma retreat lightly.

“….Aah…….”

A sigh leaked from my mouth.

I felt like a large amount of blood was flowing out of my abdomen, torn by the scythe. But, strangely it didn’t hurt, I felt heat from around the wound, there was a sensation of numbing and tingling.

“Woah, no way, Natsuhiko. Did your guts come out?”

“Don’t….. say that….”

Together with Maki-chan pointing stupidly, I pointed out the obvious to her.

I realised I was so calm it surprised myself. It didn’t hurt, but I wasn’t sure if that’s because it actually felt light.

“--- Retribution had been granted. However, he still has a wish.”

Ruma re-stanced her scythe.

Still more? She must have another purpose.

“The cause of her death. Also, the thing that will potentially obstruct his wishes from now on, I must not leave that be.”

“Huuuh? Does that maybe mean Maki-chan?”

Squatting next to me, poking the innards overflowing from my abdomen, Maki-chan was forced to stop playing, and spoke will standing up.

“I get it now. Something annoying happened, didn’t it? I mean the the card’s power hindering your retribution.”

Ruma didn’t answer.

“…How boring.”

A dull light dwelled in Maki-chan’s eyes, who talked like she spat.

Before I realised, in her hand, she held something that looked like a chess piece.

“Even though it took so long to meet you again, and I thought we could play much more…”

The black piece in the night, grew huge in the blink of an eye, and changed its form.

“Playing with a boring girl like you, it would be boring, though.”

The piece changed into, similar to the thing Ruma held, a huge scythe.

However, it was obviously different.

Much bigger than Ruma’s, the handle and blade were jet black, delicate carvings like a work of art were engraved into it all over, but above all…… it omitted a visible, sinister aura.

It appears to hurt your eyes from just looking at it, and appears to corrupt your mind just getting close to it.

The aura, floating like miasma, wrapped up the scythe, and also Maki-chan.

“Hey… Ruma-chan?”

Her tone of voice was like a different person’s. A cold voice, like her heart had frozen.

Ruma retreated a few steps. I heard her footsteps for the first time. Though her face was expressionless, at the sudden terrifying change of Maki-chan and her scythe, I knew she was trembling.

“’The appropriate reward for all humans’… How cool. Well then, are you going to give it to me too? The appropriate reward.”

Expressing a fascinating smile, Maki-chan licked her lips.

“Give it to me, Ruma-chan. My reward.”

“….!”

Ruma quickly jumped backwards.

Maki-chan swung her scythe up. However, paying no attention to that, like when she appeared, Ruma disappeared like she blended into the night.

“….Aww, she left. Even though I was just getting the hang of it….”

Making a disheartened face, Maki-chan lowered her scythe.

When she did, the ominous scythe returned to the piece from earlier without a sound, and vanished into thin air.

“Ha…. Hahaha…”

I couldn’t help but laugh at Maki-chan’s difference, but because my stomach was ripped up, I didn’t laugh properly.

“Hm? Natsuhiko, you’re still alive?”

Saying something heartless, Maki-chan crouched down next to me.

Once more, she poked at my insides. Even though her black gloves were covered in blood, they didn’t change colour.

“Hey, Natsuhiko…”

Maki-chan looked at my eyes.

“Why did you want to protect me?”

“… I don’t really know, myself…”

Half was a lie. Half was the truth.

The atonement for Sora. I didn’t hold the belief, that those were my true feelings.

“Weird. Even though you could just leave someone other than yourself alone.”

Maki-chan tilted her head, and made a curious face.

Maki-chan doesn’t understand the importance of others. That’s probably entirely true.

As a God, Maki-chan doesn’t need others, because God is perfect without people.

“…People, can’t live, by themselves.”

My throat was hot. The blood that rose from deep in my stomach, spilled out of the corner of my mouth, I formed words.

“At least, I, couldn’t live by myself… I was supported, by lots of people… like my family, and my friends… and also, my girlfriend”

“But it was imperfect. So you wished?”

“That’s what, I thought. …But, it wasn’t just, about, important people.”

“There are things important other than yourself?”

“Yeah… so, when I lost them, it was, hard…I was sad, and lonely, so much that I could never comprehend, so, I… misunderstood…”

“…Natsuhiko regrets wishing with me.”

Maki-chan declared like she read my mind. No, maybe she might really be able to read something like people’s minds.

“I’m sorry…wishing with you, Maki-chan, wasn’t what I really wanted… just being with people important to me, makes me happy… I was, too scared of losing those people, so, I misunderstood…”

If I could start over again, I thought.

I want to return to before I wished with Maki-chan, resetting my life.

I want to disappear from here, I thought.

I want to live without having to be with others, my body disappearing, just when I brought misfortune to my surroundings.

I had a few wishes. However, all of them were, probably, incorrect.

There was only one thing, I honestly should wish for.

“I…. want to be happy…”

I lived in peace every day, but that didn’t mean that I was happy.

Although I learnt only that, I sacrificed a lot.

After pondering for a short while, like she was bored,

“…I still don’t get it.”

She said, after a while.

Maki-chan’s expression when she said that was weird, I laughed a little.

“Natsuhiko. You’re gonna die soon. Are you ok?”

“…Yeah. I don’t know, if I’m ok, though…”

Like Maki-chan said, I felt my consciousness become distant.

Though I heard that on the verge of death, people rethink their events in the past, I didn’t remember anything.

“The card’s gotten dirty. You can’t use it anymore.” The card that Maki-chan pulled out from my coat pocket, was covered in my blood, you couldn’t distinguish what was written on it.

Nonetheless, it ended up so that nobody was brought misfortune. Instead, misfortune befell me.

While Maki-chan peered at my face, she said.

“Do you wish for something? To live again?”

I did wish for that. However, gazing at the death that should have been terrifying before my eyes right now, I had no fear in my heart, just a single wish remained instead.

“…I want to see, Sora…”

In my fading consciousness, I heard Sora’s voice.

“I wonder if it’ll rain tomorrow?”

I expressed a smile at her dear voice, and answered in my mind.

“Hey, I don’t know what will happen in the future.”

I felt like, Sora smiled.

Interlude: Our Retribution Policy

His wish was granted.

The boy who killed her, died.

I killed him with my own hands.

A laughing voice echoed from the living room. He was laughing.

When I reported the details of what happened, he was incredibly happy, and said we should have a toast.

For some reason, at that smile, I felt anxious.

“Well done. You did a good job…”

Drinking from a sake cup while he praised me, his face had become red.

“Hey, you can drink some too.”

I tasted the transparent liquid he poured. I realized it was made of alcohol.

Even though legally he should be the prohibited drinking age, he didn’t care.

“The appropriate reward for all humans. Aah, what a happy ending…”

Letting me sit next to him for the first time, I stared at his smile

I wonder if he’s glad at this.

I haven’t made any kind of mistake, have I?

I wonder if he’s really happy.

I worried about those anxieties.

I granted his wish.

I accomplished my role.

That’s the result. I want something more than this.

…Want?

No, that’s not true. I don’t want anything. I don’t wish for anything.

I’m not a person. I’m a thing that grants people’s wishes.

Because killing that boy was his wish. There’s no other reason.

There shouldn’t be, another reason.

I was aware that I was in confusion.

Even though I shouldn’t be affected by the influence of alcohol.

Maybe I’m broken.

“Really, you did a good job.”

Putting his sake cup on the table, he touched my cheek.

Gently touching it. Unlike when he hit me, I felt his warmth.

“Let me thank you, Ruma. …So…”

He took the sake cup from my hand, and also put that on the table.

Then, he politely lay my body on the sofa.

Hanging over from above, I could only see his body. I could only see, his face.

His hand touched me. My cheek, my hair, my arms, my legs.

Bringing his face close to my ear, he whispered to me.

“I’m counting on you tomorrow, too.”

At that alone, my anxiety disappeared.

I’m glad he said that, I thought.

I haven’t made any mistakes. From now on, I also won’t make any mistakes.

I will continue to grant his wishes. I will continue to accomplish my own duty.

Just that is fine.

It’s fine, if I just think about that.

Wrapped up in his arms, wrapped up in his breath, I believed that.

He doesn’t love me or anything.

And also, I probably don’t love him.

Yet, I wonder why I did that.

In this moment right now, I don’t feel any anxiety.

Without thinking anything, without feeling anything, I am simply a thing.

This isn’t my ideal form.

I am a thing that grants his wishes.

Simply, just a thing for that.

Epilogue --->

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