#ik i’m a year late on discussing this shut up

[tazzertopia]

currently thinking about last year when all the right wing men were whining about the barbie movie and how it was promoting misandry and radical feminism only to watch the movie and see the most surface level feminist takes like damn this is radical to men? the way they were speaking about it i was expecting america ferrera’s character to start quoting the scum manifesto or something

[kreidewaltz]

top of the castle | t.k.

pairing. tsukishima kei x f!reader

about. your only goal is to be on top of everything. every change he gets, he pushes your buttons and does things that stirs something inside you. it's totally not your heart beating wild in your chest.

word count. 6.3k (this is my baby)

genre & warnings. fluff. angst. swearing. sky castle and highschool au. lots of swearing. happy ending. parents are kind of a jerk. subtle pining. enemies to lovers. bestfriend!kuroo. film major!tsukishima and y/n.

author's note. ik i posted this super late but here it is!! this is part of the promptly yours collab by issy :D ty for being understanding kisses you !? this is my first time writing an e2l go easy on me pls :( quick overview: sky castle is a neighborhood for the rich, and they do everything to be ahead of the other families! big thank you to @rintsuru for beta-ing this mwah i'll edit some stuff here tomo :') reblogs & feedbacks are appreciated ty <3

part of the promptly yours collab ✪

“during the dinner, entertain the guests, and kaa-san will be proud of you.” your mom says whilst brushing your hair multiple times. she sends you a threatening smile in the mirror which forms annoyance in your mind, yet a fake smile ghosts your lips. you clench your fist on your pockets, fingernails digging hard into your palms. last night she came to your door, unannounced, and mentioned that she’ll be having a private party after sending your applications to SNU Medical School.

“time to relax after working hard, a reward too for the parents.” you recall her saying, while running her fingers on your head before she shuts the door. the excitement evident in her movements when you hear the repetitive clicks of her heels. you play with the hem of your pajamas as you mimic your mother’s voice in distress, huffing after while you cross your arms on your chest. if she sees you roll your eyes or heave a disappointing sigh, expect a lecture about manners that'll go on for a few minutes.

when you entered middle school, she started to be strict and always repeated that you’re “only going to be successful when you’re on the top of the castle”. the metaphor she often forces in your mind—enjoying your success and growing money. watching other people force their way to the entrance, but this is where her persona morphs into something sickly sweet. she uses her shit ton of money to compromise, and those people leave as if they never disturbed your castle. in her eyes, you’re the embodiment of an independent, hardworking, and stepping on others kind of student which is something you want to erase.

“sit straight, act interested, act modest—”

“bring down the rivals, except kuroo.” you cut your mother off while a subtle smirk appears on your face, running your makeup brush on your powder blush before putting it to your cheeks. she stops for a moment, the silence makes your palms sweat on your school blazer, but relief washes over you when she murmurs okay, good. the moment is interrupted when your dad screams on the other side, assuming that he’s finding her and checking the table set-up for approval. she gives your shoulder a harsh squeeze before leaving you alone in your room, looking at yourself in the mirror.

“bring down tsukishima.” raising your brows, you try to keep yourself sane because people saying his name irks you. his stupid voice and looks down on you just because of the height difference. he looks down on you when he’s done harm to you years ago, and to the Hara family. when the school year started, you had no clue that he attended Yongsan School for Seoul. his presence immediately annoys you to your bones and when he talks, you have the urge to tape his mouth and watch him struggle and enjoy that he’s suffering. when he enters the room, you almost stand up from your seat and protest but you keep your lips shut. attempting to bottle your resentment and continue with the basic introductions and orientations for the school year.

what he did in middle school is the main factor why you resent him.

-

“your highness!” he yells as soon as you enter the classroom, sending tsukishima a sarcastic smile before you sit comfortably. you try your best to not be grumpy at eight in the morning. good thing that the teacher isn’t here, or you’re in for another lecture about that you should get along and be humble with your classmates.

lame lame lame.

“yeah, i’m a princess hm!” you point a finger at him while you put on a grumpy expression before putting your hands on your waist. huffing a few seconds later, you look through your bag and prepare your cute notebook and pencil. you begin to check the schedule for the day on the first page before reviewing the past few lessons, skimming it with attention that you mentally practice yourself, and clench both of your fists in excitement when you got the right answer. you cross your legs while checking your notes, eager to start the day because you're feeling productive, and seeing the stamps of stars on the first page makes you ecstatic.

-

“hara y/n, did you hit tsukishima?” your teacher’s voice is stern which scares you, but what frightens you is your mother hearing about the issue. you fiddle with your fingers as you rub your eyes, desperately trying to hold the tears threatening to fall. you and tsukishima are left alone in the classroom, with the teacher sitting across from you. the beautiful sunset view from the window is giving you temporary solace, releasing a sigh before answering.

“no, sensei! he- he hit me!” your voice unintentionally going higher, not realizing that you’re getting defensive. you stand from your chair and stare at him, fuming with anger when you see the smirk forming on his face. the teacher sighs in disappointment since he knows you’re one of the top students this year. your attendance streak is all green, never missing a day. what they don’tknow is how your mother forces you to always go to school no matter what happens, that school is the only path to success.

i hate tsukishima, hmph.

“she did, sensei. you saw her holding the book.” your patience is on thin ice because he has the audacity to lie in front of the teacher when he knows he did it. he slaps the book against the back of your desk and you feel the impact on your shoulders, resulting in a high pitched scream and break the momentum of your classmates writing and your teacher narrowed his eyes at you, shaking his head in displeasure before writing on the blackboard. then you hastily grab the book he's holding and about to throw it on his desk but gasps echo on the room. from their perspective, you're about to hit tsukishima with his book while he's looking across, focused on the discussion that's interrupted.

"you hit me with the book!" frustration slowly seeping out while you bounce on your desk angrily. your pigtails get tangled which fuels your irritation. life likes bad boys, you thought while mocking him by copying his expressions, forgetting for a moment that your teacher is watching you make faces on your own. tsukishima waves his hand, fisting his other hand to put it in the pocket of his purple jacket. the loud bell rings and ends the discussion, and you sulk on your seat while he prepares his things. your teacher walks out of the classroom to call your mom, you assume, because of the way he takes a glimpse at you while holding his phone to his ear.

i don't want to go home.

-

“i didn’t do it!” you keep repeating the same sentence as you set a foot in the house. your small hands clutch the strap of your backpack tight, agitated on what she’ll have to say on what happened. your teacher called your mom and had a quick discussion while you bowed to your mom before going home. the awkward silence caused you to grab your backpack and stand behind her, looking down on your shoes to distract yourself. when the both of you entered the car, she didn’t spare you a glance, even on the rearview mirror. the good thing is your favorite song is playing which soothes your worries temporarily. but the car ride was mentally exhausting and your nervousness kept boiling in your chest.

-

"the one time life is well! and you had to do that." sitting on the edge of your bed, disappointment and frustration join forces in your head while you clench your fist tight. tears trail down your cheeks freely and you have to grip your shorts so you wouldn't explode. hearing her sigh loudly makes you look at your hands to distract yourself from thinking while you sniffle quietly to yourself because your mom tells you to mask your true feelings with other people.

"i'm your princess! i didn't do it!" bouncing on your bed to defend yourself while she doesn’t say anything. she goes to your study table and grabs some of your books and pens. you looked at her in distress, tears forming in your eyes, since your mom's punishments are something you avoid if you have the chance.

-

“ah long time no see! come in!” your mom cheerfully greets when you see the Oikawa family entering the house, bowing down in respect with a sickly sweet smile plastered on your face. he acts like a prince charming when he bows, trying to charm your mother. she acts as if she’s swooned by his alluring smile before she rushes the family to enter the extravagant room, eyeing oikawa while he fixes the buttons of his school blazer. you and oikawa had a while you’re flipping the pendant of your necklace, the loud banter on the stairs a few meters away gets your attention.

“oh! kuroo looks dashing as usual!” she clasps her hands together, the gold rings on her fingers clashing and creating light noises which only you could hear. after they pick up on your mother’s voice, kuroo abruptly stops arguing and casually puts his right hand in his pocket. his mother gives you a soft wave and pecks your mother on the cheeks. you’re not in europe. the thought comes to mind while they chit chat. his father comes to the dining table, leaving you with kuroo for a few minutes. you extend your other leg in the front, putting your hands on your waist, and when you catch his monotone gaze. kuroo looks to the side while the tip of his ears slowly become red.

“ah! i’m glad our parents are okay.” you whisper in front of him while you pat your cheeks and put on your serious expression because your mother always tells you to act elegant when there are guests. a sympathetic smile appears on his lips, knowing why you changed your face in seconds—because you have a reputation to hold.

“mhm, okay talk to you later.” he says before lightly bumping your shoulder with his fist which you return with the same force while a smile dances on your balmed lips. the both of you don’t notice his mom’s gaze softening because of your brief chat.

“yuuji! you should’ve brought your vest!” your mom giggles when she hears the voice of the Terushima family. her covers her mouth with her hand (also her way of showing off her accessories). his mom’s voice is pretty loud so you hear her clearly when they’re on the stairs. a childish whine leaves his lips while his almond eyes begin twinkling in excitement seeing the grand decoration on the entrance. “oh hi y/n! pardon me, and yuuji.” his mom is always enthusiastic and humble.

you raise a brow when you notice the piercing on terushima’s ears. “you pierced?” you point a finger at his ear before the smirk on his face grows, knowing that you’re not allowed to get pierced or tattooed under your parent’s household.

“yeah, you want one?” he leans in with a teasing smirk on his face and slowly licks his bottom lip, and you get a glimpse of his tongue piercing. a tsk leaves your lips before you push him away with your clenched hands. your mom intrudes in your conversation and pulls you to her chest. your mom’s thoughts about you not listening to her and actually getting piercings are running like a hamster on a wheel. his mom covers her face with the palm of her hand, thinking that she won’t get used to terushima bragging about his piercings and possibly influencing his friends to get one. your mom giggles about him and repeatedly pats his back, escorting the Terushimas to their seats at the table—a long and wide one she bought for this day, and a few hours later, the cleaners will struggle to put the furniture back on the basement.

“ah n/n! wait for tsukishima, alright?”

your mom waves her fingers with a smile plastered on her face, leaving the entrance in your hands. going rebel sounds intriguing but you decided to go against it. you intertwine your fingers together and put them behind your back, walking around back and forth along with an occasional twirl because the black skirt whirling is satisfying for your eyes. annoyance bubbles in your chest when she mentions his name, and the fact you’ll escort them all the way to their seats at the table. relief courses through you when she picks their seats further away from your vision.

good, i can’t stand his golden eyes at—

-

“dear y/n, always elegant like her mother!” your dad mentions while the food is being served. the maids delicately hold the plates even though the appetizer only consists of green leaves, a drizzle of oil and other vegetables mixed in. a confident smile comes to your face while the boys giggle along with their parents, knowing that they nudge their waist to go with the flow and attempt to be your parents’ right hand and be their disciple. kuroo kicks your feet under the table while a subtle smirk on his face, and before you could misunderstand his intentions, he eyes the other parents then quickly rolls his eyes after. the clanking of the plates and forks begin to ring your ears and you immediately connect the clues on what he likes to say.

look at them, trying to get on your parents’ side.

you lightly slap his knee with your foot to get his attention, and you successfully do so while not realizing that about to take a bite of the vegetables. while kuroo thinks about embarrassing himself, again, despite that your parents and the other boys are lost in their own conversations, you take a big bite of everything that’s on the plate, not noticing your mom’s stern gaze on your figure. when he’s finished fixing his hair, he raises his brow while you cross your arms over your chest, nodding in defeat while rubbing your forehead, mimicking those disappointed adults you’ve seen in dramas. he covers his mouth while his eyes crinkle, controlling the laugh he desperately wants to let out. you massage your shoulder for a moment because it’s getting uncomfortable but you have to keep your act—act like you have your shit together in front of the guests.

“oh! oikawa-kun, how’s the japanese lit for you?” initiating a conversation between your rivals while the parents reacted quietly to themselves, as if they’re going to witness harsh exchange with words until emotions overtake your head. this is the sky castle, you think while straightening your posture, satisfied when you get a glimpse of him jolting on his seat before putting on his charming facade and entertaining your question.

“easy peasy! bet i’ll get a perfect score.” he runs his hand through his hair, fixing his school blazer and acts mighty with the other people around.

terushima begins to tease him by making faces to push oikawa’s buttons, and you tap your mouth with the tissue before dropping the bomb and witness his face morph to dread. “you know that i check the papers too, right? you’ve got three mistakes already.” bring down people so you can walk forward, you think while oikawa’s eyes are large like the globes you use for geography class. you loosely intertwine your fingers as you press your cheek on your palm. your mom peeks at you, amused, at your actions that she fights the urge because a smile is threatening its way on her deadpanned face since the beginning of the dinner. the other parents whisper to themselves, especially Oikawa’s parents who look at you with distaste occasionally when they talk. the maids are astonished with your attitude since you're a sweetheart, in the time where your mom is out and does her daily shopping to further decorate the house.

as the dinner continues, you're mentally patting yourself on the back for doing a great job to keep your castle undisturbed. you didn't notice the blonde fighting the urge to smirk to himself because it's the first time he witnessed you being brazen. he takes a big sip of the water, stretching his hands and resting it on his back as he catches your eyes which widens his smirk. resulting to strengthen your rage—and the fact that you're enjoying how attractive he looks.

ugh, let's get this over with.

-

“what? never expected me to be on top?” a condescending tone laces your voice as you cross your legs, the exhaustion you carried throughout the dinner is dissipating when you rest your back on the chair. feeling a certain pair of golden eyes piercing your soul, you intentionally ignore the sweating of your palms and curl your toes inside your shoes because you keep moving as long as you feel his eyes focused on you. the sassy persona you’ve worked hard lasting long is crumbling, as if tsukishima is taking his time to disassemble the pieces.

“finally we’re away.” terushima whispers to no one before running his fingers on his hair. all of your parents settled on the tea room as your mom calls it to chit chat and relax for a few hours and you know she'll subtly brag about your achievements in school and the furniture around the house that are only available to the rich she quotes.

"away from our parents who force their dreams to us? hell yeah." oikawa added before stretching his neck, the table erupting into laughter because what he said is the truth.

"hey! too mean." narrowing your eyes at him and seconds later you realized how contradicting you are. you scold the brown haired for being mean (when he only said the truth) yet you call oikawa earlier on the dinner for having three mistakes on the test of film studies. the silence stopped you from saying something further so you sit back, looking at the lights and decorations hanging on the wall so you won't embarrass yourself further.

we're even i guess, oikawa whispers under his breath before looking at you, his smile not reaching his eyes. you slap your cheeks while you're looking hard at oikawa, not noticing how the blonde plays with his fingers before looking at you, his eyes glimmering of mischief. since tsukishima knows what pushes your buttons and he always uses it to his advantage.

"stop the good girl act. you feel that way too, idiot." he cleans his glasses with his vest while his eyes narrow and look at you. as you look up and stare at him, you’re perplexed seeing him without his glasses and get amazed on how golden his eyes are. while your arms are flat on the table, his words earlier came back crashing on your head. good girl.

“good girl act, huh? why? you want me to be a bad.. bad girl tsukishima-kun?” you retort back quickly, and you’re pleased with your counterattack since hearing low whistles and gasps beside you fueled your ego. you raise your brow with a mocking smile on your lips to taunt tsukishima even more, intentionally ignoring the repetitive beating of your heart. you felt kuroo kicking your ankle under the table but you dodge his kick since you didn’t want to be bombarded by his remarks because you know he’ll never let you forget about this moment.

“and what if i do, princess?” he raises his brow in return, resting his chin on his palm while cocking his head to the side, amused with your response but he wouldn’t let you know that. you’re obviously dumbfounded, hating the way he uses that nickname casually in a conversation. the uneasiness you’re feeling doesn't go away when you feel eyes on you, eagerly waiting on what you’ll have to say. you clear your throat and you’re about to say something when-

“okay! y/n you got ice cream?” terushima jumped in the conversation before the tension rose on the table. at first you’re bummed when he cuts you off suddenly but you’re glad because you’re not going to talk to tsukishima after this. nope, you keep repeating to yourself. you nodded and led the way to the kitchen, slapping your cheeks lightly with your fingers to snap out of it.

-

“y/n, suck it up and do the first move.” kuroo murmurs louder to mortify you before taking a bite of the ice cream from the glass, his smug expression makes you want to punch him right there. you playfully kick his chair while you mindlessly mix the spoon on the glass, the ice cream melting as time ticks by.

“what- i’m not- you jerk!" their eyes fall on you since your voice tends to get loud when you defend yourself, and you forget about that while kuroo annoys you on purpose. you grumble shut up under your breath, cupping your cheeks while a frown takes over your face. you angrily grab the scooper to get more desert, also denying the thoughts running in your mind and shake your head in the process while whispering no, that can't happen!

"you're screwed, my friend." kuroo waves his spoon in front of you and you grit your teeth in annoyance while a frown takes over your face. a part of you wants to give in and admit you’re feeling something for him but you’ll stick on what you’re good at-denying. you pout in defeat and sulk in your seat, your eyes falling on tsukishima sitting in the corner. he’s in his own world, taking a bite of the ice cream and repeatedly tapping his foot on the floor. you assume it’s because of the music he’s listening to because of his tangled earphones put on. when he caught your gaze you turned away a little late meaning he saw you. shame clouded your head and desperately try to distract yourself from him, and look at oikawa acting high and mighty, anything, so you won’t spiral back to your thoughts full of tsukishima.

“the hell!? no i’m fin-” he waves his hands and doesn't listen to your stalling, since he knows you’re doing that to convince yourself and not him. you scowl at him and cross your arms together, chanting to pull it together since you get aggressive when someone’s caught you so you cross your arms together and clench your fists. (you thought you’ll have wrinkles earlier than others because of how much you’re frowning).

“i saw what happened, don’t even.” he cocks his head to tsukishima’s direction with a grin on his face and he knew he conquered victory between the banter. you sent him a sarcastic smile before checking the others chat to themselves and hear the faint laughter of the adults in the other room. your mind starts to imagine what it's’ like to talk to your crush.

no didn’t say that!

“this is fun.” he added, which deepened your scowl and you clearly heard the teasing tone laced on his voice. you roll your eyes playfully while he ruffles your hair, and you’re bummed because you know he is right. don’t pull the bad girl card, he murmurs and twirls the ends of your hair. your thoughts halted when you heard the two words that brought you back to the situation earlier. you hold your breath while stretching your arms straight on the counter, hurriedly thinking of a witty response.

“hey! he looked good…” you closed your eyes quickly then you got a glimpse of tsukishima smirking and the way the nickname, princess, rolled off his tongue is making the tip of your ears faint red and sensitive. where’s the y/n that hates tsukki with all her guts? kuroo whispers and laughs hysterically after which caught the attention of the others. you know he’s teasing you for fun since you two often have light hearted banters. the urge to punch him in the face crosses your mind because there are times he knows and you know he’s right, it’s on you not wanting to admit it. his hand ruffles your hair once again before smoothly interrupting oikawa’s bragging, while your thoughts go on an overdrive in your head.

-

"miss pres! wait for me!" you stopped in your tracks and waited on the right side when you heard akari jogging to you. a dejected pout appears on her lips. she hangs onto your arm and grips it tight, catching her breath because you didn't wait for her outside after the film classes ended.

purposely digging her nails as her payback, because you didn't wait for her outside after the film class ended.

"damn, it's hard being the best friend of the student council president." she says with a defeated tone while fixing her skirt. your face scrunched up in response before walking together on the hallways. akari begins her rambling about the upcoming output your professor mentioned. you tightened your hold on the folders, frightened that the stack of folders will slip out of your hold since fate can be cruel, you muse while pushing the folders close to your chest.

"i can carry folders too, you know." her laughter echoed in the hallway when she saw your reaction! furrowed brows, a pout on your lips before you hesitantly gave half of the folders in her waiting hands. before you could explain what the folders are, you hear her gasp when she sees the title, in bold letters—CLASS 3 FILM STUDIES TEST RESULTS. she overheard you and the professor and learned that you're also checking the papers because professors trust you that much. akari likes seeing you lose your cool in public so she lifts the side of the folder. though it gets exhausting, you endure akari and her antics since despite her teasing she knows her boundaries. she's a good friend because holding the titles student council president, and top student scares away potential friends you could have. students gossiping about your family and status doesn't make things easier. so when she approached you in the library and blunty said you're taking her seat, you're grateful despite interrupting your study session.

it's safe to say that you didn't give each other good first impressions.

"miss pres, faculty room right?" akari's voice breaks your train of thought and wonders how you didn't hit anyone along the way since you take a few turns before seeing the faculty room.

"mhm."

-

“kari! let’s go back! i can convince sensei.” you whine quietly and stomp on your feet, you’re definitely ignoring your heart about to jump out of your chest when you see a glimpse of a blonde in front of the faculty room. after the party you held a few days ago, you didn’t pay attention to him and avoided him at all costs because you’re trying to figure out if feeling something to your rival is a big deal or not. you tighten your hold on the papers, a pout coming to your lips while akari is amused on what’s happening right now. she’s clearly not expecting you to go to the other way and avoid confrontation with the blonde.

“he’s there! i can’t face him!” you added and jutted your lips into a pout. in your head, you could roast him with other people because you have a perfect reputation to keep. she sighs for a moment while you stand there, she transfers all the folders in her other hand before smacking you in your arm. a shriek leaves your lips, not expecting your friend to hit you in the hallway. you knew you lose the disagreement when you see her as if she’s saying really? i’m done with you through her face. she puts a hand on her waist while she steps on the floor. a habit of hers that you noticed through time. you fix your hair that’s blocking your sight before nodding your head.

“fine… whatever.” you narrow your eyes and point a finger on her direction, acting like you’re threatening her but it didn’t have an effect at her. both of you silently walk towards the faculty room and finally see tsukishima in all his glory. he’s slightly slouching in front of the door because of his height. you quickly look at the other classrooms, acting as if you never saw him and ignore your heart beating at a quick pace. you’re in front of the room, just behind him and realize how tall he is. he looks back and catches your gaze before he smirks and waves at the professor inside. (they are clearly victims of the good boy facade he puts, you think). akari whistles to herself before going inside and gives the folders to your professor while you follow behind.

“ah thank you y/n! and akari. you can have your lunch now.” you bow quickly and smile before you shut the door gently. you fix your blazer and pat your skirt before going to the cafeteria with akari. on the way she keeps teasing you about how you daydream of tsukishima when you’re in class. she keeps mentioning his smirk when you’re eating and you almost choked on the food, since yes, maybe his smirk is attractive you think, maybe, you repeated.

-

“how’s life with rich people?” she whispers since she accompanied you to the library because you’re planning your scenes already and what emotions you’ll pick for the montage output. you stopped writing and closed your notebook, and rolled your eyes playfully because you know what she really wants to ask.

“i know you’re asking about oikawa, so go.” you say while crossing your arms on the wooden table, and stretch your back after writing for twenty minutes. on the time you’re working, she’s humming random songs and twirls her pen on the papers she brought, scribbling lines and occasionally add doodles on the paper.

“tsk, at least i’m proud of it.” she comments while you gasp, wondering why kuroo and her keeps forcing you to admit you like him. it wasn’t that you’re uncomfortable, your answer remains the same, you have a reputation to take care of.

“anyway! i heard you were mean to him.” she adds while burying her head in her open book, it’s obvious that she’s bored but she accompanied you nonetheless. you stopped twirling your hair and you processed what she said. how did she know, you lamented to yourself while your brows furrow.

“terushima… he doesn’t shut up. he might’ve mentioned that.” akari massages her scalp while looking at you, she’s attempting to relieve the minimal pain she’s feeling in her head. you continued to write on how the scene will go but your sentences ended in scribbles. you’re terribly annoyed that terushima talked about the party even, it wasn’t necessary, you thought while biting your lip.

“agh! whatever. it’s the truth.” you cried out after contemplating for a few minutes. you lean back on the chair, drinking from your water bottle to hydrate yourself once in a while. you sigh in satisfaction when the cold water goes to your chest, awakening your sleepy eyes. the silence helps you gain your focus and plan your outfit and makeup on the montage, but akari breaks the silence with a question.

“yeah sure.. the truth. so when are you gonna admit that you actually like tsukishima, huh?” akari prompts her elbow while a cocky smile goes to her face. you hum and stopped writing, utterly confused with her expression.

“well i like him but- what?! you and kuroo should be locked away somewhere.” you rambled after realizing her true intentions of why she asked that question. you kicked her foot slightly under the table to get back at her. she hisses slightly while you bow quickly to apologize. you sigh before grabbing your phone and usher akari to take a selfie in the library, even though her face looks funny on the picture, you’ll still keep it. while she looks through the photos you took, you look at the window and many thoughts keep overlapping but one thought stands out. should i finally admit that i have a crush on him? what if he doesn’t like me though? those are the thoughts you pondered on on the way home and the next few months.

-

it’s been five months since those thoughts spiralled on your head, almost haunting you every night. this day marks the start of vacation, no more school work to do and you’re not pretending to be a good student on campus all year. it's been a few months since you passed the montage output and you remembered how your professor’s mouth is open while watching yours, it boosted your confidence. you picked unrequited and longing which seems two complicated emotions to work on a montage but that’s what you like about it. when you did your shoot months ago, you couldn’t forget the horror on kuroo’s face when he saw the smudged make-up on your face while your dress looked elegant.

you waved him off that time and continued to film the flowers dancing to the wind, the group of birds flying high, and you accidentally filmed tsukishima walking away while the sun hit his direction and it created a warm yet nostalgic vibe. that time he didn’t give you insults or anything but god, he was cocky. kuroo and oikawa noticed how things changed on the two of you, because normally they’d be seeing you going at each other’s throats. but you did your own thing, and you didn’t complain about filming him and instead he saw you giggling to yourself while looking at the camera. the black haired finally connected the puzzles together and came to a conclusion: you’ve come to terms that you like tsukishima.

-

“i really like him! believe me.” you defended and hugged the pillow laying on the couch. you invited tsukishima to your house to convince your parents that you like each other even though you’ve been together for a few months already. when you often walk with your boyfriend (calling him that still makes you blush), you always see oikawa and kuroo snickering to themselves, and you teased kuroo that he replaced you with another. sadly, your mom didn’t like the idea and she went to another country to calm down, you think. that time you realized where you got your sulky attitude from. your dad acts casual and asks questions one at a time. you’re grateful because you couldn’t handle many questions at once and the accusations you’ll hear from your mom isn’t what you wanted right now. your dad giggles when you act pouty and defensive, while tsukishima bounces his leg to relieve the slight to little nervousness he has, he convinces himself. it didn’t help when kuroo grip his shoulder tight and give a little speech on how to protect you and show how to care.

“she does… unfortunately.” he whispers the last word which infuriates you and hits his head with the pillow lightly. your dad didn’t hear what he said so he glares at you, shaking his head, as if he’s saying not to hit your boyfriend. you pout and cross your arms, and give him the face that’s supposed to threaten people but it doesn’t work for him. (one time, you realized you’re friends with people who have resting bitch faces).

“do you want me to be your enemy again?��� you threaten him but you fail because a big smile goes to your face. you fix the hair clip on the back of your head to keep your hair away.

“sure if it means i can see you be angry but look cute.” he retorts back and while you're about to explode, from your peripheral vision you see your dad giving him a big thumbs up and an awkward wink. he sends him a nod and acts cool.

"hmm, now i get why you like each other y/n." your dad comments he pats the space beside him. tsukishima gently rubs your lower back before letting you go, even though his heart is beating wild in his chest. you sit beside your dad before tightly embrace him, relieved of his reaction to your new relationship.

"thank you dad. we'll protect each other, don't worry. you can kick him if he broke up with me though." you whisper the last part so the blonde wouldn't hear you (he's suspicious based on the narrowing of his eyes and the gaze you feel at the back of your head). he pats your back while giggling lightly and stand up. he enjoys seeing you lost in your world and see the genuine happiness glowing in your eyes. this is something he should've done sooner, he thought because all these years you're caged in this house, alone and lonely.

“tsu-ki-shima-kun, let’s go?” you tease him because he once told you that calling him like that stirs something inside him. you giggle and look to him softly, an indirect way of asking permission to loop your arms together. you respect his boundaries, always, even though it didn't seem like it a few months ago. he nods and pushes his glasses, and you loop them while seeing his ears down to his neck go a little red.

“hey, let’s go to the library. it’s quiet there.”

you get out of the house and wave to the idiots (kuroo and oikawa) as you call them before going to the library with him. you had nothing to study for and you knew why he wants to go there, with you, you just know.

this is the sky castle, the place where you bring down people to walk forward. but after thinking about it, walking together with tsukishima doesn't sound bad.

[angeltrapz]

SAW ask time 💚 wld love to hear abt chainshipping + Adam bein autistic— maybe like what Lar notices abt Adam’s stims, things he does for him/ways he helps when Adam needs it. Also for Eric/Adam, maybe any thoughts on Eric finally like.. realizing he’s got a special interest?? ik we’ve talked abt how hard he masks but bein around Adam (n Mallick) helps him relax abt that, so like maybe how does he react + what is th special interest? anything u wanna dish abt!

thank u it’s always SAW ask time in my heart <33

!!! I was just thinkin abt tht!!! our minds 💫

I think th first time he rly sees Adam stimming (i.e. flapping his hands) he’d be like “what’s that?” but not in a rude way - genuinely a tone of “I want 2 know more abt this thing, pls tell me” rather than anything anywhere near condescending/annoyed/mean-spirited like Adam has dealt w fr YEARS at this point. so he’s definitely put on edge a lil bit bc he can’t help it, maybe he starts to like wind down and force himself into quiet hands, but Lawrence is immediately like “no I wasn’t making fun of you!! u don’t have to stop doing it!” which kinda stops Adam short like. what r we doing here. usually when ppl ask me tht they’re also telling me 2 stop. finally Lawrence says “I was just wondering what kind of stim tht was,” like he didn’t almost (accidentally) uproot Adam’s whole shit + is currently Doing So Now by using actual terms tht Adam didn’t know he knew, n so he like takes a moment to absorb tht comment n then he’s like. “oh. it means I’m happy or excited?” and honestly? when Lawrence hears tht? he’s like “oh... so then you’re rly happy? 🥺” n it’s just like. a moment fr both of them lol. (Adam feels Much safer discussing things after tht too, in several ways. it definitely helps w building trust between them!!)

after that though Lawrence definitely takes notice of more things! he’s not afraid 2 ask questions, so tht’s smth tht’s rly good fr them - Lawrence being able to seek information (he also does his own reading + research) to better understand, n not in tht shitty mommy blogger “I know yr in there somewhere” way. he doesn’t want 2 change Adam. he wants a better grasp on wht Adam’s experiences r like so he can help n minimize stress abt certain things. fr Adam tht’s definitely like.. foreign territory, bc as u’ve mentioned b4 + my personal hc as well, his parents didn’t really care 2 get him formally diagnosed + even acted like there was No Way he cld be neurodivergent in any sense, so 2 have some1 who is interested n respectful is So important 2 him. (personal hc time: I hc Adam as both adhd AND autistic like me so there’s tht!!)

so like he takes notice of th way Adam likes 2 roll things btwn his fingers (shirt sleeves, shirt hems, hoodie drawstrings, blankets, soft fabrics he likes the texture of, etc.) n is just like Oh Idea. I like 2 think he gets Adam one of those bead lanyards (like this one, which I also have!) fr him to fidget w n he kind of presents it like “I thought maybe u wld like smth like this?” n honestly he’s a lil nervous abt what Adam is going 2 say. but Adam takes it n holds it fr a minute, rolling th beads n messing w th lanyard itself 2 kind of test it, n he just looks up n smiles n he’s like “I love this. u’ve been paying tht much attention??” n fr Lawrence it’s just like “yes? of course? bc I love u?” like it’s th simplest thing in th world n Adam’s just. Huh. no he does Not tear up, if Lawrence told u tht he’s lying. he’s just Rly not used 2 ppl who want 2 know more without wanting to “get inside his head” or belittle him fr it (ties into my hc tht fr th most part, Adam hasn’t rly had any Good friends...) so it takes a lil getting used to.

another thing!! Lawrence does is ask 2 listen 2 Adam infodump abt his special interests - esp photography!! like they do this thing where if it’s not too late at night by th time Lawrence comes home frm work, Lawrence will take a quick shower n then get into his pajamas n into bed (just fr some quiet quality time b4 they go to bed, bc he still tends 2 come home a bit late), n he’ll have Adam sit next 2 him n he’ll be like “what do u want to tell me?” bc tht’s another thing tht Adam was entirely unused 2 - having ppl who didn’t just tolerate his infodumping, they wanted to hear it. Lawrence might be th first person to not actually give him shit fr it/tell him he’s being annoying/shut him down completely. again, it takes Adam a lil bit to b fully comfortable w it, but once he is he adores having tht time to be excited abt things w another person! who he knows Wants to listen!! (if we’re going th route I personally like 2 think abt sometimes too, where Lawrence is autistic as well, I feel like they infodump back n forth abt photography n medical stuff. do either of them rly know what the other is saying? not rly. are they listening happily bc that’s their partner n it’s smth they’re excited abt? oh absolutely!)

I think Adam has a tendency to eat a lot of th same foods bc they’re safe n he knows he likes them/doesn’t mind their texture (which is a big issue w trying new foods fr him), which is smth tht Lawrence also takes note of and as such, he likes 2 make sure they’re regularly stocked up on at least some of tht stuff. it’s not even smth he tells Adam he’s doing, bc it’s rly tht simple 2 him - Adam likes these things n therefore we shld have them at th house - but fr Adam it’s just One Of Those Things, y’know?? he got so much shit as a kid fr being such a “picky eater” n got shit fr it as a teenager too bc “why don’t u ever try anything new??” was smth his friends/parents Loved 2 say. it’s th fact tht Lawrence rolls w it so easily, doesn’t poke or prod for reasons he eats th way he does, and doesn’t get upset w him fr it/try 2 force him into things he isn’t comfortable w. it means a lot to him, more than he’ll ever have words 2 say (but he does always kiss Lawrence’s cheek when he gets back frm th store n he sees some of his same foods, which is just as good). it’s loving tht he’s autistic because it’s a part of him, a fact, not despite or in spite of. tht’s what’s so nice n kind of healing abt it; feeling safe 2 express yrself as u are w a partner who u know u can trust. who maybe words questions a bit funny sometimes, completely unintentionally, not out of malice (where allistic Lawrence is concerned, anyway). Adam feels Safe, n tht means a lot 2 him.

as fr ways he helps him!! a big thing is tht Lawrence is observant, esp as they spend more n more time together. a lot of th time, even when it’s just th two of them alone, Adam might have trouble maintaining eye contact fr an extended period of time, n Lawrence might not know how much it Actually helps, but he doesn’t mind tht Adam doesn’t always look at his face when they’re talking. it’s smth tht takes a little getting used 2, but he was never shitty about it w Adam. the way he sees it is if it makes Adam more comfortable, why shld he get upset abt it? it’s not like he doesn’t know when Adam’s talking 2 him anyway, or tht he can’t tell if Adam is listening; Lawrence knows both of those things, so Adam not making eye contact isn’t a problem, y’know? it’s okay. n I rly don’t know if Lawrence is fully aware of how much Adam appreciates tht.

another thing is he’s patient + understanding when Adam is nonverbal, whether it be bc he’s having a shutdown/meltdown, sensory overload, or just plain Difficulty w speech. it kinda depends on what I’m writing at th time, but I feel like Adam might have picked up at least a lil bit of sign language here n there; mostly simple phrases tht get th point across. I like 2 think Lawrence learns what they mean so he can take tht stress off of Adam’s shoulders, but most times, Adam is just comfortable sitting in silence w someone he cares abt.

OH brief thing Lawrence is RLY good at helping w pressure stims. he gives amazing bear hugs n I feel like he’d also probably let Adam lay on him if they’re on th couch/in bed. I just Feel It.

-

OHH I think abt Eric finally developing a special interest now tht he feels more comfortable w doing so a lot. honestly I kind of rly like th idea tht his special interest might be info abt rats! it kind of hits him when he catches himself writing down lil facts (tht might not even be related to pet care!) in his notebook so he’ll remember them + always being excited 2 learn more n share what he’s learned. it makes Adam SO happy to see him being comfortable w tht aspect of himself, esp now that he’s safe to explore it w ppl who understand n who won’t discourage him/belittle him for it,, Mallick too of course, but Adam knows how much Eric struggled w tht kind of thing for such a long time so he’s just. Ah. 🥺🥺

like they’ll all b chilling on th couch (Eric, Mallick, n Adam) n Eric will have his head against Adam’s shoulder while his hand is on Mallick’s chest, who has HIS head in Eric’s lap w his legs dangling off th armrest, n he’ll be like “did u know tht when rats r happy, they grind their teeth together? it’s called bruxing n then sometimes their eyes move in their sockets rly fast while they’re doing it. tht’s called boggling.” n Adam will be smiling so wide when he says he didn’t know tht but it’s rly cool!! n then Mallick will start asking questions n he n Adam just listen while Eric infodumps fr probably th very first time since he was very very young, before it was masked out of him by his parents. n he finds tht he Doesn’t feel so bad abt it anymore, not when he’s around ppl who want him to be happy and want to see him be happy - esp ppl who encourage it n let him know it isn’t smth he has to hide/keep locked away. it’s hard 2 b ashamed of himself when Adam n Mallick r looking at him w genuine interest in their eyes n so so much love.

he might still like, slip back into masking behaviour every now n then, bc it’s something he’s still dealing w n learning 2 leave behind, but after he discovers his first special interest it gets a little easier, letting go of that way of life. it was smth he was forced into by adults who didn’t actually want th best for him like they said they did when they put him through “therapy,” but w partners he knows understand n who are even autistic themselves, Eric slowly learns 2 be more comfortable w it. it’s slow, but it’s progress. bit of a learning curve. he’ll get there.

[awfullyaster]

andrew and neil are switches, don’t you forget it

ok hi here for my (probably) daily aftg rant,,,,so i’m seeing that the majority of the fandom (as far as i’ve seen anyway)--or fics/fanart consisting of andreil doing the do--view neil as a power bottom ?

am i incorrect? are my resources false? idk bout u but so far i’ve only seen like one fic where neil is the top/penetrator (!mao is that even a real word idk but it sounds weird haha cute ok anyway)

and honestly, i have to disagree. i do. i’m not trying to push andrew’s boundaries by saying that neil could top, i’m just saying that y’all don’t give neil enough credit.

liek,,,,,bro,,,,,do you not see the amount of top energy neil mf josten radiates ???? like, yes, we know andrew takes the lead but it doesn’t necessarily mean he’d top forever ?????

( just a proposition, ofc but this is just my opinion based on observations--yet again ) 

( and tbh i had difficulty trying to figure who was the top and who was the bottom between them when i encountered the first hint of intimate growth in their relationship--to the point where i had to ask my best friend who hadn’t a clue what aftg was prior to (that’s when the aftg rants officially started/ignited) and it took some time/proper discussion/consideration but he first came up with the conclusion that andrew was a sub top and that neil was a power bottom )

as for yours truly, i came to the conclusion that they are both switches (some time after i finished reading).

i mean,,,,,,can you really just look at neil josten--wholly, like his entire personality, attitude (problem !), traits, &c and decide on the spot that he’s a bottom ??? how ??? how the hell do you come up with that ?????

and hear me out, i have evidence/reasons:

one) The Great Riko Roast™️. need i say more? 

(if elaboration is necessary:

keep in mind that neil (this literal fucking nobody) burned riko (supposedly the king of exy or whatever the fuck, who cares) to ground on the spot (no script, just his attitude problem (mwah i love him) and pure spite)

again, he burned him to the ground on live television, publicly humiliating riko with each and every word

idk bout u but i am so damn sure andrew found out right then n there that this bitch radiates top energy for fucking sure (or, in his words, isn’t spineless)

neil committing arson via verbal attacks is just---splendid. absolutely mesmerizing. flawless. truly inspiring. gamechanging. glorious. 

he’s so rude i love him

anyway )

two) neil can shut up andrew up without having to touch or kiss him. he can leave him speechless. with just his words. 

(yes, we know anybody & everybody knows better than to touch andrew but like i mean he wouldn’t have to fight him or whatever) (and he doesn’t have to kiss him to shut him up--though he definitely can--he doesn’t have to because that’s just how fucking powerful he is)

y’all,,,,,are you ready for one of the most amazing lines i believe we all know and love,,,,,

““You have a problem wherein you only invest your time and energy into worthless pursuits."

“This,” Neil flicked his finger to indicate the two of them, “isn’t worthless.”

“There is no ‘this’. This is nothing.”

“And I am nothing,” Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, “And as you’ve always said, you want nothing.”

Andrew stared stone-faced back at him.

[...andrew had his hand frozen mid-air...(i forgot the rest)]”

if this does not prove dominance to you, i don’t know what to tell you. (HE WAS MERELY SPEAKING AND ANDREW COULD NOT COME UP WITH ANYTHING-- A N Y T H I N G --TO SAY BACK BC IT’S A PERSONAL ATTACK AND HE DIDN’T SEE IT COMING AND THAT’S WHY HE SEES NEIL AS INTERESTING/WHY HE ‘HATES’ HIM SO MUCH BRO I)

hOweVeR

i know that dom bottoms exist (i think so, anyway) or bottoms that radiate top energy/the position (i.e. bottom,top) energy you radiate can be entirely different from what position you really are/are comfy with and that these are just words but that brings me to my following point,

three) (#1 insitgator, he, oh yes, neil josten, yes indeed) his unexpected (and to be frank, quite thrilling) acts of asserting dominance ?????? um ????

(when they were kith kithing next to the kitchen (next to kitchen) in neil’s dorm room) “[neil felt his phone buzz in his back pocket and against the wall it was obnoxiously loud. he already knew it was his daily countdown, but he already knew how much little time he had left. he didn’t need to reminded, especially now...andrew took it out of his back pocket and offered it to neil, pulling away from his mouth. neil took the phone from andrew’s hand and threw it across the living room, not taking his eyes off andrew. andrew watched as the phone bounced off the couch and onto the carpet. neil kissed his neck in attempt to distract him and was rewarded by a startled jolt which was enough reason to do it again. and even though andrew pushed his face away, they were close enough for neil to not miss how andrew shivered.]” 

b r o ,,,,,,,,,,,, bro,,,,,,it just--

(when they were alone in the bus otw to that one away game--belmonte, i think?) “[“i wonder when coach found out about this,” neil prompted. 

“there is no ‘this’.”

“i wonder when coach found out you only want to kill me ninety-three percent of the time.”

neil retraced his steps and had a moment of realization. before andrew left for easthaven, neil had told andrew to trust him and not ‘neil’. 

“it was before you left,” neil started... 

“coach doesn’t believe what other people want him to believe, he believes what he sees,” andrew replied...

“are you going to tell them?” neil was referring to the rest of the team, and this was up to him, whether they’ll be out or not. 

“i won’t have to. renee says the upperclassmen are betting on your sexuality.”

neil knew that matt mentioned that there were bets on about him, but he didn’t know it was about this.

“it’s a waste of time and money. they’ll all lose. i’ve said all year that i don’t swing and i meant it. kissing you doesn’t make me look any of them differently. the only one i’m interested in is you.”

“don’t say stupid things.”

“make me.” and with that, neil grabbed a fistful of andrew’s hair and pulled him in.]” 

dude,,,,,,,,,he can take control,,,,,he can,,,,he can lead, too, but he follows andrew’s because he’s a good boy and he knows how important it is. he improvises and uses what he has and takes control from there. dude. dude. 

three) honestly? i think andrew likes it. neil’s unexpected acts of confidence,,,kinda leaves him on the edge of his seat yk,, like doesn’t it increase his percentage? it does, right? cuz ik it did when andrew guided neil to touch his chest and neil emulated andrew’s words, “i won’t be like them. i won’t let you let me be.” (i love them bye) but liek,,,,yeah idk andrew liking neil’s neck kisses/fetish kinda tells me he likes it so maybe this isn’t concrete evidence particularly but i’m still including it because andrew’s a switch, idc what anyone says, 

four) i lost my train of thought but i ran out of reasons--on the spot, anyway--so i might come back to this if i do but just to make it clear:

andrew minyard is a switch. (it just takes time, like a lot, but it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily impossible/never gonna happen.)

neil josten is a switch. (he respects andrew’s boundaries and doesn’t push him, he’s fine being guided, but it doesn’t mean he can’t take the initiative himself (and i forgot to mention it but re: when he asked andrew if he doesn’t like to be touched in general or if it’s a trust thing + many more times, before & after their first kiss, i believe, my brain is just empty rn) and i just think that deserves more recognition)

so !! 

(this post is a mess, (i always am but today’s just worse) i know, and i’m sorry)

in conclusion,

let neil top andrew !! they deserve it !! 

(not that vice versa is bad, but this isn’t either, yk, just saying. also, i hope this isn’t too late to say in the post, but i do not, i repeat, i do not, intend to pressure any content creator--fic writers, fan artists, editors, &c--to create content this particular way only,,,,okay,,,gotta make that unequivocally clear. and i’m not saying andrew topping neil is bad or overrated, because i know that when it comes to them, sex in general would take some time, especially neil topping andrew, but i think they deserve that freedom, yk. again,,,,this is just my personal opinion. no insisting statements here, just wish for freedom to speak my mind, that is all. also feel free to interact if you agree/disagree or both !! i’m willing to hear anyone’s comments or thoughts or whatever !! i hope i’m talking to a brick wall here ahah) 

bro brain poop rn

anyway

tl/dr: bro let neil top (not necessarily on top, but that works, too--either/or--or both, if y’all dare ;DD (kill me) (but like srsly) (let neil top) (plz) :))

(also somewhat off topic but might anyone have access to some fics in which consist of neil first getting andrew off ??? i randomly remember it from ms. sakavic’s extra content page and i would like to see what the fandom offers, if y’all don’t mind)

im so mean and insistent on my aftg-related opinions now that i think about it

whoops

[littlemissvincentvega]

Head Cannons First Dates with the Dogs and Eddie

Brown:

* You met him when he approached you at an Indy movie viewing in your town. You were getting Mike and Ike’s and he totally interrupts your transaction with the clerk by asking you your favorite flavors. Although a little annoyed you think he is adorable. You indulge and tell him your favorites and he tells you the entire history of the candy. After the movie he finds you and asks if you want to get a late night snack to discuss the film.

* You both go to a dessert bar around the corner. Although you offer to share a piece of pie, you know to be romantic he rejects the requests and orders his usual brownie with whipped cream.

* He goes on and on about the cinematography and plot.

* You add your own opinions and he is intrigued and fascinated

* You end up talking until closing.

* He walks you back to your car and offers to follow you home to make sure you get In safely.

* You decline although you didn’t think it was weird.

* He calls you the next day to chat and ask you out again

Mr. Pink

* you meet Mr. Pink in the wine shop in your neighborhood. He saw you before you noticed him. He kinda followed you around the store but tries to not make himself seem obvious or weird.

* You pick up a bottle of red to inspect. He peers over your shoulder “that one is kinda overpriced for what you get. If you’re looking for a full bodied red I would recommend this one.” As he hands you another bottle of red wine.

* You thank him with a smile. He barely gets the words out “you’re welcome”. He of course scurries away to check out the alcohol accessories.

* After you check out he is super nervous but trying to keep it together. “ hey I don’t normally do this but I would regret this for years if I didnt, but I was wondering if maybe I can take you out sometime.” Of course you say yes because he is super adorable.

* The day of the date you’re low key super excited. The appointment you had before your date canceled so you could meet earlier. You call him to see if he wanted to get together an hour earlier but when you call he assumes youre cancelling. “Oh I figured this would happen, really don’t feel bad... oh earlier?? Yeah sure. I’m free.”

* He takes you to a low key jazz lounge. You are wearing a tight fitting black slip dress. When he sees you his eyes get big and his jaw drops. “ wow you look incredible” he says as he greets you. You lean to kiss his cheek.

* Although he is trying his best to stay calm ans confident, he def is having a hard time staying focused on the music. Halfway through the evening you reach for his hand and ask if he wants to dance, the band is playing “In a Sentimental Mood”.

* He is super embarrassed about his dance moves so he groans and reluctantly gets up.

* You slow dance and put your head on his chest, his heart is racing!!!!

* He suggest going back to his house for more wine and to show off his record collection.

* You listen to a few records, totally impressed by the wine and music. Since you are both a little tipsy, you take an Uber home.

* He walks you to the car and you give him a soft kiss on the lips. Of course when you pull away his eyes are still closed and almost like he is in a trance.

* He text you good night and he hopes to see you again soon.

Mr. White:

* You meet white at a mutual friends birthday party in their backyard. You’re helping to bring out drinks and you catch him looking at you from across the yard. He is looking a little too long so you smile and give him your innocent big doe eyes.

* Throughout the afternoon you steal glances at each other. But never actually speaking. You of course are tucking your hair behind your ears and flirting from a distance.

* When the party is winding down and you’re bringing a few glasses inside, he saunters in a few feet after you. Causal but determined.

* “Can I help you with anything?” You turn around slowly and smile. “No, I’m practically done. Is there anything I can help you with?” You ask in a very seductive tone as you take a few steps toward him. Larry raises his brows and looks around. “ well since you’re offering... Could you explain to me who decides to have a garden party on the hottest day of the year?” You both laugh and gaze at each other. “I’m Larry.” “I’m y/n” Larry says “I’m about to head out but I would love to spend more time with you and get to know you. Would I be able to give you my information?” You smile and take his number.

* You wait a few days before you call him. When he answers he tries to hide his excitement when he finds out it’s you. “Oh hey Y/N I didn’t think you would call. It’s good to hear from you.” During your conversation he finds out you’ve never been to a baseball game.

* Of course your first date is to a brewers v dodgers game. He buys everything and is shocked to find out you’re a vegan. He finds a stand that has vegan options and buys whatever you want. Larry spends the game explaining the rules in a patient and calm way. He finds little ways to touch your hand and makes jokes to make you laugh. He asks questions about you throughout the game truly wanting to know more about you.

* At the 7th inning stretch he puts his arm around your waist to pull you closer as you watch the highlight reel. He tells you that he is having a really great time. You are as well.

* You of course buy a dodgers hat, Larry refuses to make the purchase since he is a Brewers fan.

* At the end of the game you walk around the stadium a bit laughing and talking before getting kicked out. Larry drives you home. He drives a classic muscle car (duh).

* He opens the door for you and let’s you out. He grabs your hands and pulls you into him as he leans against the hood of his car. His muscles are very defined through his shirt. He holds your hips into him as you both continue to talk for a few mins.

* Your eyes lock and you lean into him and make out passionately. LArry walks you to your door, holding hands slowly walking to the door . He kisses you again and is respectful to not ask to come in although you would have said yes.

* When you’re done getting ready for bed you call him to make sure he got in safely, “y/n I was just about to pick up the phone to call you, tonight was wonderful. I’d love to take out again.” You agree and make a baseball reference. “Aw sexy, smart, and a fast learner... I need to be careful. Sweetheart I would love to see you sometime this week. Let me know when you’re free.” Your heart melts and you set up a time.

Mr Orange.

* you know he pretends to be cocky AF and it kind of turned you off at first.

* You meet him through Holloway who is dating your best friend. Holloway promises he is a nice guy and a great cop. Evidently he has seen photos of you on social media and practically begged for an introduction.

* Holloway has a viewing party for a high profile boxing match, of course he invites you (even though you don’t care about the sports), Orange, a few cops from the precinct, and other friends.

* Holloway introduces you to Orange. Orange tries to play it super cool to the point where he comes off as nonchalant, uninterested and arrogant. The moment you shack his hand he says nice to meet you and walks away to a fellow officer across the room. You look at Holloway and look at orange who is involved in a completely different conversation now, like “what was that?” Throughout the rounds Orange is cheering and jeering on and taunting the guys during the under card, not paying attention to you at all. Holloway pulls him aside before the headliner, and asks him why he isnt making an attempt to talk to you. Orange says “man she is way too hot and way out of my league. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m not going to embarrass myself.” Holloway encourages him to at least to make small talk. Orange walks over to you with his hands in his jean pockets all shy. He asks if you’re enjoying the match and you lie and say yes. Of course you’re in the kitchen with the women laughing and not paying attention. Holloway enters the kitchen and joins his GF by you and orange to help lighten the mood. Orange is obviously out of his element. The final match is announced and you offer to watch it with him. During the Main card you sit next to him. He is too nervous to taunt anyone and sits quietly. A cop that Orange works with says “hey y/n needs to come around more often, I have never heard Freddy this quiet before.” Everyone erupts in laughter but Freddy turns beet red.

* Everyone leaves and Freddy Irish good byes without getting your information.

* Holloway’s girlfriend has to be the one to give you freddys number. You reluctantly call because why didn’t he at least say bye... and he picks up after the first ring.

* You meet him at the modern art museum, there is an exhibit on comics and anime. Freddy opens up and tells you all about the artwork and his love for comics.

* Half way through Freddy has to go to the bathroom. As he washes his hands he reminds himself he is super cool and he is the Barretta. He convinces himself you like him and you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.

* At the end of the exhibit Freddy is nervously chatting about how he didn’t expect you to come and how stoked he was, while he is rambling you kiss him to shut him up. He is stunned 😍.

* When you get home, Freddy immediately calls you. Some classicSpeed Racer movie is on to put on a movie channel and he thinks you’d like it. You get into jammies and stay on the phone and watch it with him. He is super excited as you both watch the movie over the phone ans chat.

* When you start getting tired, Freddy asks if you want to grab coffee in the morning before you start your day. You of course say yes.

Nice Guy Eddie.

* you meet Eddie at a dive bar after work while you’re getting drinks with coworkers.

* Eddie asks if you want to play pool. You say you don’t really play often but sure. He teaches you the basics and then challenges you to a match, “if you win Your next round is on me.” You ask what if he wins since that’s more likely... “ you have to let me take you out this Friday.” He says with a grin. “It’s a win win.” While playing you ask for extra help with Eddie standing behind you pressed against you with his hands on yours directing you softly on how to shoot the pool stick . Eddie wins the match and still buys you your next round.

* On Friday Eddie picks you up and let’s you pick the music. He takes you to a very nice Italian restaurant with white table clothes and candle lights. He hold your hand across the table and speaks low and softly to you. You’re literally melting.

* You can tell he is a big deal the way he carries himself and the way the staff responds to him.

* After dinner you hold hands walking around the busy neighborhood. Eddie stops you in front of a lit fountain and cups our cheeks in his hands. He kisses you softly on the lips. Eyes closed still smile and you gaze into his eyes. He kisses you again as you melt into him.

* Eddie takes you back home and you proceed to make out with him playing Sinatra and candles offering the only light

* Before things get too far you tell him he should go. He doesn’t Protest but is obviously a little disappointed. He is the type that gets everything he wants so you have to hold back some.

* He calls you a few days later. He would have called sooner but he got busy with a job.

* You suggest your next date be he takes you around to places that are significant to him from his childhood.

Mr Blonde

* soooo smooth.

* You don’t even remember when you first saw blonde, you just saw each other often enough at random places that he decided to speak to you. This time it was at a gas station... yes random as hell. You’re pumping your gas watching the meter ans you hear a voice come behind you “Hey are you stalking me?” He asks you in a smooth raspy tone, eyes squinted a bit but he was obviously joking. “Hmm I could ask you the same thing. I swear I see you everywhere.” He chuckles ans scratches his thumb nail above his eyebrow lowering his head looking up at you “everywhere huh?” Obviously implying something sexual. You roll your eyes but you unintentionally blush because well guilty. “Well what’s your name? I want to finally be able to tell my friends WHO this beautiful woman is I’m always running into.” You are literally struck, “I’m Y/N” you say almost in a dream like trance. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Victor Vega. I’m hoping the next time I see you it’s a little more planned.” Information is exchanged.

* Vic calls you the next day and asks if you have plans for dinner. You of course don’t.

* You drive over to vics and he is fixing his old school truck in the driveway. When you pull up he glances up and wipes his hands with his handy rag. He Is wearing a white tee shirt and dark blue jeans. He walks down to your car and greets you. He leads you inside and says he needs to get changed. He gets changed quickly and you are off. He drives down the Pacific highway along the coast. The sun is setting and the air is warm. You finally get to this little Mexican restaurant on the side of the road overlooking the ocean. The owner and his wife run the place. You’re led to a table for two outside.

* Vic is peering into your eyes and entranced by your conversation.

* You finally order and eat.

* After you eat the couple bring out a few shots of tequila and sit with you both. You all laugh ans chat and drink like you have all known each other for years.

* You hug the couple, a little tipsy but still coherent. Vic is able to drive no problem.

* As you drive up the coast back home, Vic has his hand on your thigh while he is driving. You lean closer into him and his hand gets higher

* When you get back to his house you are so revved up going home is not an option. You and Vic start kissing from the door and he leads you towards his bedroom.

* You end up spending the night and wearing his t-shirt to bed. The next day you bashfully get ready to go home as Vic is waking up. “Hey you’re not leaving already are you? At least let me make you coffee.” Vic goes to the kitchen and starts the coffee maker shirtless ans only wearing pajama bottoms. You end up staying at his house until the late afternoon. He has to get ready for a job and you need to get home to your own house.

* He calls you the next day and he tells you he already knows you’re something else. From then on you’re practically inseparable.

ok first of all i am SO sorry this took me forever to read and post but OMGGGGG I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!! mr brown’s one has such a true romance vibe, also him telling y/n the entire history of the candy you’re buying is so accurate i can fully imagine that 😹😹

and the last part of eddie’s! like going around places from his childhood, i’ve never thought about that before but that’s so sweet and on point :’) i wonder what kind of places that might be? seriously though this is so great and i hope you’re doing amazing 🥰🥰 thank u so much!!!

[ikenbar]

Mr. Love: Ike’s Choice CH5 PT2

Warnings: Some swearing but like Ike is having a hard day so give her a break, talk of strippers and bikinis but it is literally just talk, some angst, the tiniest pinch of fluff, anger, hate, disputes between sisters, near death experiences and cLiFfHaNgErS!!!! :D

Also! This part is dedicated to one of my favorite teachers ever. Hats off to you Senior Olson... you got featured in a fanfiction... I know this must be the most riveting part of your entire teaching career...

(Chapter Five (Kiro and Youran) Prologue and part one can be found here~)

((Please read the author’s note (and the beginning of the story) on chapter one part one if you’re new here :D))

Chapter Five:

Part two:

I ran up the steps to the school in aggravation. My driver and I had been sitting in traffic for twenty minutes, killing all my time and patience slowly and painfully. I threw open the doors to the school and immediately locked eyes with Adri, who was slouching in one of the chairs just outside of Mr. Olson’s office. She sat up quickly in her chair.

“Oh thank goodness they called you!” She smiled, “I was afraid they’d call-”

“Zip it!” I snapped, taking Adri aback, “Need I remind you that you’ve been suspended?! Just because Bart or Maria didn’t pick you up, doesn't mean you have gotten off scot-free, lady.” Adri’s once excited face grew pale. Someone opened the door to the principal's office. 

Out stepped a tall man in his late sixties. With his back arched and his cane in his hand, he walked with a limp that screamed intimidation. His hair was receding and graying but most of the grey was centered on the bushy beard he brandished like a Norse god. Mr. Olson was a man that showed his years, but his eyes were still lit with the same fire that his younger self held. Even if they were hidden behind his thick, oval glasses.

“I thought I heard you out here.” Mr. Olson smiled at me, “It’s good to see you again Ike.”

“Sir.” Though I spoke impatiently, I still bowed with respect, “Listen, I would love to sit and talk but I’m running late for a shoot for a show. Is there any way we can speed this up?”

“Oof.” Mr. Olson chuckled and turned to Adri, “You chose the wrong day to be suspended.” Mr. Olson looked back at me and gestured into his office, “I just need you to sign some papers for me. Then I can send you on your merry way.” I nodded and followed him into the office, grabbing Adri and pulling her by the collar to follow us. I was handed a small packet of paper by a smiling receptionist as Mr. Olson pulled Adri aside.

My phone buzzed from my pocket. Without looking at the ID, I answered.

 “Speaking.”

“I have a bone to pick with you.” 

It was Bart.

“What?” I moaned as I flipped through the pages of the packet.

“You know the filming studio we rented for the day?”

“Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you tell me we had changed the location?”

I froze. 

“...what?” I asked through clenched teeth.

“The studio stopped me from going in and said we didn’t have the studio today! Then, when I told him who I was, he told me that we had cancelled our time there! I called the crew and they told me that they got an email that we had changed to a different location! So now, I look like a fool! Why didn’t you tell me we switched studios!?”

“Because I didn’t!” I signed the papers quickly and handed the receptionist the packet, “I have no recollection about sending an email! What studio do we have now?”

“The FASL Studio. On the other side of town. It’s a good thing I decided to come early! The donuts ended up being cold though.”

“OTHER SIDE OF TOWN?!” I roared, despite my calm surroundings, “I’m at the school! I’m going to be late!”

“The school?” Bart asked, suddenly sounding worried, “Why? What happened?!”

“Your new daughter reenacted a scene from a 80s highschool sitcom.” I huffed, holding the bridge of my nose, “Does the cast know about the change?”

“Yeah. They are already here. What do you mean by-”

“I’ll tell you when I get there. I gotta go. Bye.” I quickly hung up and grabbed Adri’s arm. “Sorry, Sir.” I said hurriedly. “I gotta go. I’ll be sure to make sure Adri is doing her work and feeling guilty about what she has done. Goodbye.” I hurried out of the principal’s office. 

>

Mr Olson shook his head as the girls left. “Still the same Ike.” He said, turning back into his office.

>

I pulled Adri into the car and gave the driver the new address of the studio. “And try to find a way around that traffic.” I huffed, “I’m going to be late as it is.”

“I’m not going home?” Adri asked, stupidly.

“No.” I kept my eyes glued on my phone as I pulled up my email, “We are going to the studio. But you aren’t going to be doing anything but work. Did Mr. Olson give you a packet to work on?”

“Yeah.” Adri hesitated, showing me the large packet in her hand, “It’s just busy work. They don’t even grade me for it.”

“I don’t care.” I stretched my jaw, “You’re doing it.” Adri opened her mouth to protest but closed it as I cursed. In my sent emails was the email Bart was talking about. It talked about moving locations for the day and how I was sorry for the inconvenience it might bring. 

Except I didn’t write it. 

I would have called Bart to tell him. I would have even told the crew in person if I had the chance. 

There was no way I had sent that email. 

I scrolled down to look at the email's information. 

But before I could read it, my phone screen glitched. I growled and hit it. A high pitched noise radiated from my speakers, causing me to yelp and hold the phone away from me as Adri covered her ears.

“Turn it off!!” She called.

“I don’t know how!!” I screamed, jamming the volume down button on the side of the phone. The ringing stopped and the phone’s screen turned white. A cursive black text gradually appeared on the screen.

“Brought to you by your friend, Key”

 Then, the screen went black. Adri and I stared at the phone, trying to process what had just happened. I tried turning the phone back on. 

Nothing. 

I tried holding the power button down.

 Still nothing.

“Oh come ON!” I boomed, pressing the button repeatedly, “You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve only had this phone for a week! Victor told me it was the best they had! What the hell?!” I growled and threw my phone into my lap. I rested my elbows on my knees and threw my head in my hands. An awkward silence washed over the car.

“... would it help if I said I feel really bad for what I did?” Adri asked timidly.

>>>

I pulled Adri by the wrist as I ran into the studio. We were only a few minutes late thanks to a shortcut past the traffic but I wasn’t taking any chances. I flashed the guard my id card and pushed open the door. People were bustling around the large studio carrying various tools, set pieces, and props. I pushed through the crowd and searched the faces. I spotted Bart speaking to someone by the snack table. He was a young man with beautiful blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and a stunning smile.

“Ho thank goodness.” I breathed deeply, “Kiro made it.”

“WHAT!?!” Adri exclaimed from next to me, “KIRO’S-” I tugged at her wrist, quieting her. 

“No.” I hissed, “Not for children who don’t respect the few who don’t get paid nearly enough to deal with their bull.” I flagged down a crew member, “Excuse me. Where are the dressing rooms?” The employee gestured to a wall with multiple doors on it. I thanked him and pulled Adri with me as I walked to them. I opened one and pushed her inside. “Now you’re going to sit in here and work on your packet.” I pointed angrily to her. 

“What?!” Adri scoffed, “I am literally within spitting distance with my idol, and you won’t even let me see him?!”

“No.”

“Why?!”

“You know why!!” I barked, “You started a riot in the middle of class!! I had to be pulled away from an important breakfast to pick you up!”

“What, with the friend you met a week ago?” Adri snapped, “The little producer that is so small even I can-”

“Shut your mouth.” I spoke menacingly through my teeth. The air in the room became tense and strangely cold. Adri stopped talking, “You say anything insulting or degrading about that woman and I swear you'll regret the very second you met me, do I make myself clear?” Adri seemed at the verge of saying something but, in fear of her life, she kept her smart mouth shut. “Now I’m going to go do my work and you’re going to do yours. And you'll do it in this room and silently. End of discussion.” I turned and headed out the door.

“Worst sister ever.” Adri said under her breath.

“Deal with it, princess. This is what happens when you break the rules.” I slammed the door shut with those last words. The entire studio went silent as the bang of the door echoed through the hall. I took a moment to catch my breath. Never had I ever lost my temper like that. Sure, it has been a stressful day but… the moment she brought up Youran… Something in me snapped. Like it was my job to- I shook my head, Now was not the time to be thinking about this kind of thing. I've got shit to do.

I cleared my throat and looked around. My eyes landed on a security guard nearby. “You!” I called, pointing at him. He jumped and came to attention. I pointed to the ground next to me. He quickly walked over to me.

“Yes, mam?” He asked.

“I want you to stand at this door and not let anyone in or out without letting me know first. Do you understand?”

“Yes, mam.” The guard assumed his position at the door. I looked around the still silent studio. “Young!” I walked briskly over to the director, “Fill me in. And make it quick.”

>

“Oh no.” Bart hissed as Young took Ikamara around the studio, “Ike’s in a bad mood.” 

“Ike?” Kiro asked, watching them as well, “Is that the Ike you were talking about? Your other producer?”

“Yup.” Bart sighed, “I was hoping you would catch her on a better day. She is a very kind person, really, but she can sometime be-”

“Why is this not done?!” Ike’s harsh voice carried over the quiet studio, “I’m late once and you guys think it’s time to slack off?!”

Bart leaned close to Kiro and whispered softly to him, “... I know you asked for her specifically, but I would be more than happy to spend the day showing you around if you’d prefer it.”

“Don’t worry.” Kiro smiled sweetly, “I think I can handle it.”

>

I shoved the clipboard back into Young’s arms, “Too much needs to get done in too little time.” I growled, “Quit lollygagging and do your job. I don’t pay you to sit back and do nothing!” Young skulked off, clearly embarrassed. 

“Man!” A familiar voice spoke from next to me, “You really tore into him!” I turned and saw Minor walking to me. He wore a pleasant smile but that vanished when he saw my face. “Something wrong boss?”

“'Something wrong?'” My tone dripped with anger, “You’re twenty minutes late, Minor! I’ve fired for less!”

“S-sorry, boss!” Minor’s tone quickly changed, “I-I went to the wrong location! I didn’t know we had changed studios! Th-then I couldn’t get a hold of you and got stuck in traffic... I promise it won’t happen again!” I glared at Minor. He gulped and bowed deeply. After a moment, I loosened my jaw.

“Don’t worry about it.” I grumbled, rubbing the bridge of my nose to steam my growing headache, “I was late for the same reason. Sorry for snapping. It’s… been a long day.” Minor relaxed and stood up straight again.

“No problem.” He smiled kindly, “It happens! Maybe it’s just in the air. I was told an email went out about the location change? But I didn’t get one. Maybe we were both meant to have a bad day.”

“Right.” I said slowly, “... you have a thing for conspiracies, right, Minor?” 

“Yeah.” Minor chuckled, "You can say that."

“What about hackers? You know anything about them?” 

“Of course!”

“What can you tell me about a hacker named, Key?”

“Key??” Minor asked excitedly, “Man, what don’t I know about them?? Let’s see, well, to start off, they are a white hat hacker. Meaning that what they do what they do ethically.” I huffed and folded my arms. Ethically?? What is so ethical about sending my company on a wild goose chase and killing my phone?! 

Someone tapped my shoulder. I whipped my head around with a glare, only to drop it as my eyes met a familiar ocean of blue.

“Hi!” Kiro smiled kindly, “I’m Kiro. I think you’re the person that’s assigned to help me around the studio today.” I froze and examined his face up close for the first time in weeks.

“... You’re supposed to be in makeup.” I growled, “Where is Gina? Gina!”

“I’ll let you be.” Minor chuckled nervously, backing away from my once again rising, wrothful mood.

I dragged Kiro around the studio, preparing him with makeup and costumes and scripts, giving neither of us a break from the hustle. “Young.” I stopped the stage director and pointed to Kiro, “Get him ready for the first scene.” Young nodded and gestured for Kiro to follow him. I turned and began to walk away

“Give me a second.” Kiro grabbed my arm and held a finger up to the director. He pulled me aside, “Can I ask you a quick question?”

“Is it about the shoot?” I asked seriously.

“...No?” Kiro answered slowly. I opened my mouth to protest, “It’ll be super fast!” Kiro begged, clapping his hands together, “I promise!” I looked at him with an arched eyebrow. He clutched his hands together and brought them up to his mouth, smiling sweetly. I sighed.

“Fine.” I placed the clipboard down and gave him my full attention, “What is it?”

“It’s about the girl that gave you my information.” Kiro asked excitedly, “When will she get here? She said we would be working together today.” 

I froze, my heart sinking to my feet.

Didn’t he recognize my voice? We’ve talked a fair few times. Maybe he forgot what I sounded like… or maybe I had scared him that day with how awful I was treating everyone. Maybe he thought Super Stranger wouldn’t be so hard on her employees. Maybe he didn’t want it to be someone like me… maybe he didn’t want it to be me.

I cleared my throat, “She called and canceled. Something about having something important come up... Sorry.” Kiro’s face fell slightly.

“Oh.” He nodded, still holding a soft smile, “Ok. Thanks!” Kiro forced a larger smile on his face as he walked away from me. I sighed, fighting the lump in my throat. This is why you never meet your idols. 

>>>

Kiro stood on stage for his first scene. I stood next to the camera man, correcting his poor angle. “Ike?” I looked over my shoulder and spotted the costume designer walking over to me with one of the extras dressed as a motorcyclist. “The clasp is stuck on his helmet. I think It’s jammed. Bart said I should go to you?” I took off my blazer and motioned for the extra to come closer to me as the lights in the room dimmed.

“Playback!” Young called through her mega phone, “And… ACTION!” Keeping most of my attention on the extra, I glanced at the stage. Kiro was sitting in a chair by a large desk. He was leaning back, carelessly kicking his feet up onto the table. There was a knocking sound. 

“Come in.” Kiro said, nonchalantly. Even though Kiro was normally so bright, the character he played wasn’t. We had written him to be someone no one would like. Though I was scared Kiro wouldn’t be able to play the character well, his acting was as amazing as ever, stifling any doubt I had. Kiro had this in the bag.

“Dexter Stackman?” The female actor asked as she entered on cue, “The Private investigator?”

“Is that what it says on the door?” Kiro asked.

“Yes?”

“Then you’ve obviously got the wrong person. Try the next room over.”

The crew stifled their laughter. I finally got the clasp undone and helped the extra take the helmet off. “I’ll keep it with me.” I assured the costume designer as she reached to take the helmet, “I think I know how to stop it from doing it again.” She nodded and backed off. I looked at the clasp as I continued to listen to the scene.

“So you're Dexter.” The actress pouted, “I need your help.”

“What help could I give? I’m just some dude sitting at the wrong desk, apparently.”

A creaking noise came from the stage. I looked up. 

“Please, sir. You’re the only one who will listen!”

“Obviously not. Goodbye now!”

I searched the stage carefully with my eyes. Where was that creaking coming from? That’s going to mess with the audio!

“But this case is one you’d be interested in!”

“Does it involve strippers that have had their bikinis stolen?”

“No?”

“Then you’re wrong.”

I huffed and looked up. My breath hitched in my throat. A light swung tediously above the stage. It was rocking unnaturally, almost as if it was about to fall.

I looked straight down from the light. Right under it sat the nonchalant, quipping, boneheaded Dexter, completely unaware of the predicament he was in. 

I threw on the helmet.

“But I-”

“Listen lady,” Kiro stood from his seat and pointed at the actress, “I’ve already told you, I’m not-”

There was a loud snap. Kiro looked above him in time to see the light come hurtling towards his head. I dove into the scene, leaping over the desk and ramming myself into Kiro’s chest, sending us both flying off of the stage. We hit the ground hard as a crash came from behind us. I propped myself up hurriedly to look at Kiro.

“Are you ok?” I asked quickly, inspecting Kiro for any obvious injuries. Nothing was strange except for the rising smile on his face

“Super Stranger!” He threw his arms up in triumph, “I thought you were-” Something clicked on the floor below us. Kiro and I froze. Suddenly, the ground we were laying on flipped backwards, sending Kiro and me into the hole it created. Kiro quickly grabbed onto me tightly as we were launched into darkness.

(Next)

[ofstoriesandstardust]

Lmao hi... Just saw your prompt list and I was wondering if you could write an imagine with Draco Malfoy with prompts 7,13,14,20,23,41&63. Ik they're a lot and they're pretty angsty so if you don't wanna I'll understand lol. x

A/N: Hi guys! Long-time no write. I’ve been on a Harry Potter binge lately so I dug through my requests to try and find this so I’d have something Harry Potter related to write. I hope you guys enjoy and make sure to request if you want! (pssst, if you want to request something, I’m more likely to write if it’s HP related.) Also, your House is not specified, so basically whatever House you belong to. 

Word count: 2,603

Warnings: Angstttttttt, like four swear words

Prompts: #7: “Choose me or lose me. I’m not a backup plan and I’m definitely not a second choice.”

#13: “No matter how good your heart is, eventually you have to start treating people the way they treat you.”

#14: “I am sorry I have trust issues, but when you give someone everything and they throw it away, something inside of you breaks.” 

#20: “You changed.” 

#23: “You know what sucks? Being the one who always cares more.”

#41: “I will not let you undermine my worth.”

#63: “I wish you were dead.”  

What Once Was

Your POV

All summer you had agonized over coming back to Hogwarts. With the recent return of You-Know-Who, your parents had practically refused to let you go back, saying you were unsafe in the place you loved so much. You had begged and pleaded with your parents, wanting nothing more than to pursue your education and rejoin your friends and boyfriend, Draco Malfoy. Eventually, they wore down and relented but by the time they agreed to let you return in the fall, you were unsure if the return was the right choice. You took solace in the fact that your friends were facing the same argument with their parents, but your boyfriend had been pulling further and further away from you, as letters became fewer and farther in between. When he did write, the contents of letters became small, and the wording took a rather abrupt turn from the affectionate tone his writing usually had to a cold, distant tone. You figured he was having a particularly hard summer, what with his father going to Azkaban and the very public trial that had preceded it. You had offered your support, but he refused to talk about his feelings with you or really anything that was occurring in his life. You held out hope that once you returned to the school to start your sixth year, things would return to normal and Draco would share all the things he had been withholding from you. As you waved goodbye to your parents on Platform 9 ¾, your hopeful eyes searched for the pale boy with the platinum blonde hair. Unable to spot him, you trudged onto the train and headed towards the compartment the Slytherin Prince and his buddies usually occupied. By sheer luck, there he sat, staring out at the quickly moving scenery as Pansy, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle, all sat around and chatted, presumably about their summer vacations. You cleared your throat to make your presence known. All heads turned to you, but the only one who truly mattered took a few moments to draw his view away from the window. He briefly glanced at you and turned back to the window. Blaise gave you a sympathetic smile and offered you a hug. You accepted, and as you were hugging Blaise he whispered into your ear, “Don’t take it to heart, he’s been in a foul mood all morning.” You nodded against his shoulder, still unable to figure out why your boyfriend was working so hard to stay so distant. He pulled away and offered you another smile, for which you were grateful for. Blaise was the only one from Draco’s group that you truly considered a friend. “How was your summer holiday?” 

You shrugged in your response. “It was alright. Mum and Dad almost didn’t let me come back.” Blaise raised his eyebrows. “Anyways, I just wanted to stop in and say hello. I’m gonna go find my friends.” You stated in a rush, desperate to get away from the uncomfortable feeling settling in the pit of your stomach. You waved goodbye to the group and exited the Slytherin area of the train. You walked further down the hall in an attempt to find a friendly face or someone from your house. Anyone who would take your mind of the storm currently raging through it. You stumbled upon the compartment where Griffyindors Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Ginny Weasley, and Neville Longbottom sat. You noted Dean’s arm around Ginny and could only imagine the tantrum Ron would be throwing if he saw them. You opened the door. “Mind if I sit in here?” They all shook their heads and Neville and Seamus made room for you to sit down in between them. You graciously accepted. 

“How was your summer holiday (Y/N)?” Ginny asked, offering you a friendly smile. You shrugged. 

“Fairly awful. Mum and Dad said I shouldn’t be coming back to Hogwarts; that it wasn’t safe anymore.” You retold, pulling a knee up to your chest, trying to get comfortable for the long ride that ahead of you. 

“Mum said the same thing. Said we had no business going back. Ron and I had to practically beg her for weeks to convince it was safe here.” Ginny told you, leaning into Dean’s side. 

You let out a chuckle. “Sounds familiar. So you guys are together now?” You asked as your eyes moved between Ginny and Dean. Ginny blushed as she nodded, looking down at her lap. “So how big of a fit did Ron throw when he found out?” At that, the entire compartment burst into laughter and thus began the rest of the train ride, filled with laughter and jokes that made you momentarily forget the gray cloud hanging over the train, particularly the one hanging over a one Draco Malfoy. 

-

Throughout the feast and Sorting ceremony, your boyfriend had disappeared. As much as you tried, you could not find him at the Slytherin table. You signed yourself to eating and participating in the conversation surrounding you half-heartedly.  Towards the end of the meal, you watched from your seat as a couple of moments after Draco entered the Great Hall, Harry and Luna followed, Harry sporting a fresh bloody nose. You had a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach as you realized Draco was probably the one who gave him that. After the feast, you tried to catch your boyfriend before he took off for the dungeons but Draco left the Great Hall and disappeared into the sea of students before you were even able to get close to him. You sighed and headed towards your House, wanting to get away from people as quickly as possible. The next few weeks went about the same way, despite the fact that you shared most of your classes with Draco. He seemed hardly focused in class, very on edge and mind clearly in a different world. You watched him at meals, you know, when he actually decided to show, and he was cold and distant, uninterested in the going-ons of the castle. He was clearly losing weight and the dark circles under his eyes only seemed to grow larger by the day. As time went on though, your concern evolved into anger. Why was he doing this? Why was he shutting you out? Did the last two years mean absolutely nothing to him? You began to take his distance personally. If he didn’t have enough balls to break up with you to your face (because why else would he act like this??), you were going to let him know that you had had enough. The trick was just now to catch him alone. Or to get him to talk to you at all. It was the end of October before you were able to get him alone. It was the day of the Halloween feast, and while the entire castle was downstairs buzzing with joy, all you wanted was to crawl into bed. You had a god awful day and the last thing you wanted to do was be surrounded by others at the feast. You headed in the direction of your Common Room when you caught him. He was exiting the fourth-floor boy’s lavatory, rubbing his eyes furiously. As much anger as you had, some of it seemed to ebb away at the disheveled sight of him. “Draco?” You called out to him. He brought his gaze to you and actually stopped. As you reached him, you reached for his hand. He pulled away as if your touch stung him. Your heart fell, as the thoughts of the end of your love clouded your brain. “Draco what’s going on with us? What’s going on with you?” He shrugged, refusing to make eye contact with you. “Draco, love, I want to be here for you, but I can’t if you won’t open up to me.” He again chose to remain silent. Your anger quickly filled you again. “Well, you know what, Draco Malfoy, I’m done being treated like this. Choose me or lose me. I’m not a backup plan and I’m definitely not a second choice. It’s time you made the choice about where we stand because I’m not doing this anymore.” You stated harshly and quickly spun on your heel towards to Great Hall, wanting to put as much distance as possible between you and the boy who was tearing you apart. 

-

As you entered the Great Hall the next morning, you spotted Ron, Harry, and Hermione. Harry had pulled you aside just a few days prior to ask about Draco but you had no answers to give. None of your friends were currently in the Great Hall, and you wanted to stay as far away from the Slytherin table as possible. As you neared the trio, their attention shifted from their conversation to you. “Do you mind if I sit here?” They shook their heads and Ron scooted over to make room for you next to him. 

“Everything alright?” Hermione questioned with a look full of concern on her face. You shook your head. 

“Just needed a friendly face is all.” Harry nodded and gave you a smile as they turned back to the discussion of the latest Potions assignment. You lost yourself in your bowl of cereal as you thought of the events from the previous night. You were so distracted that your brain barely registered someone sitting down next to you. You looked up to see Blaise Zabini looking extremely displeased. 

“What the hell did you say to Draco last night?” He asked you angrily. 

“Why does it matter to you?” You shot back. 

“It matters to me because he’s my friend and he’s your boyfriend-” Blaise started but you cut him off. 

“Maybe it’s hard for you to understand in that pea-sized brain of yours Zabini, but Draco Malfoy hasn’t given me the time of day in five months and most certainly doesn’t act like he’s my boyfriend. I am sorry I have trust issues, but when you give someone everything and they throw it away, something inside of you breaks. So no, I’m not sorry for what I said to him. I deserve a whole hell of a lot better than what he’s been giving me lately. For the last two years, I have defended him, gone to bat for him, being endlessly loyal to him, sometimes to my own detriment and he treats me like the dirt under his feet. I refuse to be treated that way. Not anymore, not ever again.” By the time you were done speaking, you were hyper-aware of the looks you were gathering from other tables. Blaise lowered his voice. 

“(Y/N), you made him cry.” The comment took you aback but only for a moment. 

“Good.” You hissed, standing up from the table. “Maybe now he’ll actually start giving a damn about me.” As you turned your back on Blaise, you saw Draco standing a few feet away from you. You paused only for a second and then promptly shoved past him and out of the Great Hall. 

-

That night, the halls of the castle seemed empty as you made your way out of the library. You had stayed to study until Madam Pince had nearly kicked you out. You had a big Ancient Runes test tomorrow, and on top of it being your hardest class, you felt so unprepared what with the events of the last 24 hours. You let out a yawn when you suddenly felt yourself being pulled into an empty classroom. You nearly panicked and raised your wand as you saw Draco standing there. His eyes looked bloodshot and he looked more exhausted and disheveled than you had ever seen anyone else. He looked as if he was the mere remains of the person he once was. He ran his hands through his hair, once, twice, three times. You watched him fall apart, not knowing how to feel. “What happened to us?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper. You shrugged and sucked a breath in through your teeth. 

“You changed.” He let out a whimper at your response. For the first time in months, he looked at you. You felt a surge of emotion. Now that after all these months you finally had his attention and you were going to let him know exactly what you had been thinking. “You changed Draco. I don’t know what you want me to say to you. You pulled away and treated me like shit. You’ve barely spoken to me since last term.” 

“You don’t understand, I had to-”

“Bullshit. You just didn’t want me anymore.”

“That’s not true-” 

“Yes it is Draco!” You exclaimed. A silence fell over the both of you and you took a few deep breaths to try and calm yourself as tears came to your eyes. “You know what sucks? Being the one who always cares more. I’m so sick and tired of being the one who cares in this relationship. I have been endlessly loyal to you, I stood up for you, I have lost friends because of my devotion to you and this is what I get in return?” Draco remained quiet. “I will not let you undermine my worth. I refuse to. I am a damn good person and an even better girlfriend and you don’t deserve me.” Draco’s face contorted in pain as you spoke. 

“You’re right, I don’t deserve you. I just love you so much, I just had to.” 

“You love me so much that you just had to treat me like garbage? Right because that makes so much sense-”

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!” He screamed and you winced and took a couple of steps back. A couple of tears slipped down his face. He reached for your hand. You flinched but did not pull away. “You don’t understand, I had to. I had to protect you. I had to protect you from him.” 

“Draco, what- what are you talking about?” Shakily, he pulled his hand from yours and lifted his sleeve. As the fabric was moved away, you saw something you wished you hadn’t. One look at the mark that had caused so much pain, grief, and death, a mark that represented all the evil and darkness within the world and-

“I wish you were dead.”

-

As you sat at the Burrow over the Christmas holiday, you watched the Weasley family and chat and enjoy the cheer. You watched as the twins showed off a new product to Ginny as Ron turned to you. “Hey (Y/N), what ever did end up happening between you and Malfoy?” You thought back to that night, his anguished cries that haunted you as you left the classroom. You stared into the fire as you thought about what to say. Ultimately you just shrugged. 

“We broke up.” You said simply. The attention shifted from the joke product to you. 

“How come?” Hermione asked softly. You shook your head and swallowed your tears. 

“No matter how good your heart is, eventually you have to start treating people the way they treat you.” Silence fell across the room as Tonks and Remus studied you fiercely. “I don’t want to talk about it.” You stated, standing up. You pushed past the twins, escaping to the front porch. You sat down and looked up at the stars. You wiped away the invisible tears on your face. As you thought of the boy you once loved, you did not know he was looking out at the same stars thinking of the girl who once loved him.

[gascon-en-exil]

Ranking FE’s Lords

@paragonred asked for this, possibly as a follow-up to this ranking of the games themselves. I’ll use the same tier format so I don’t have to get so specific as to order everyone into a numbered list.

S Tier - interesting, narratively engaging, and (usually) fun to use

Micaiah - see this post.

Eliwood - ends up mediocre more than half the time, but he’s got a strong character arc with plenty of development and good moments even on Hector’s route. I very much like Eliwood/Hector as a traditional romantic friendship that could feasibly grow into something more between games depending on who they marry and what happens to their wives. Incidentally, I don’t have any very strong opinions on any of those ships, other than that Hector/Florina is rather nonsensical.

Celica - see this post

A Tier - fun unit and may have interesting character potential, but I’m less invested in exploring them

Ephraim - mostly up here because I like lances. His arc is similar to Hector’s with more urgency and the homoromanticism coming from different sources, but his contribution to that questionable legacy has largely been swallowed up by twincest. Or something like that anyway.

Hector - speaking of which, he’s a good unit apart from his promotion (both the class itself and the timing of it in his route) and as mentioned I ship him with Eliwood in a sense, but I don’t like the archetype he spawned. He also feels a bit superfluous to FE7′s main story, though not as much as Lyn does.

Lucina - will be incredibly broken unless you don’t pair Chrom or stick him with Sully. Severely under-served by her narrative despite being a uniquely tragic figure in an otherwise aggressively optimistic game, but she got a DLC campaign and a bunch of shilling outside the series proper so that sort of makes up for it?

Sigurd - the most OP lord ever. I like that he’s an idiot and that he faces real consequences for his mistakes, and I like how he looms large over Gen 2 in spite of his flaws. Even more so than with Hector, I don’t like how his fanbase sees his game performance and nothing else about him.

Alm - already a good unit in the original from what I understand, and he benefits considerably from the distinctive presentation elements of FE15. He certainly offers a more nuanced discussion of class than certain other lords. *ahem* It does suck a bit that it feels like some of his character beats have to compromise Celica’s to make them work, but that’s partially Gaiden’s fault too.

Leif - might move up if he’s relatably more of an impoverished aristocrat in the remakes, but then his particular circumstances don’t really speak to me the way that, say, Almedha’s do. I mostly hated using him in FE5 though he had his moments. Probably benefits from being surrounded by interesting people more than anyone else in this tier, but he really benefits there.

B Tier - either overwhelmingly average, or with both strong positive and strong negative aspects that balance each other out

Ike - yeah, you guys probably saw this one coming. On the one hand, he’s very likely gay; on the other, half the fandom still won’t shut up about the possibility that he might not be and/or that IS was wrong to do what they did with him. On the one hand, convention-defying peasant lord shaping his own destiny is interesting; on the other, he has terrible manners and a shameless insensitivity to foreign (beorc) cultures and yet we’re meant to be rooting for him. On the one hand, a strong unit who plays quite differently in his two games and so therefore doesn’t feel stale; on the other, he and his mercenaries edge out the light magic-wielding Micaiah and her army for screentime and EXP and it’s pretty obvious which unit type I prefer there. I can’t even get all that strongly into Ike/Soren for entirely personal reasons, but at least Ike/Ranulf is still there to pick up the slack.

Lyn - even though she’s the first lord with a same-sex paired ending that fact is largely forgotten. Much of her enduring popularity seems to be based on her sex appeal, and she’s irrelevant to Elibe as a whole. Still, her route is a nice little self-contained story that doesn’t feel too similar to anything else in FE, and she’s got a strong camaraderie with her fellow lords.

Corrin - it’s difficult to talk about Corrin as one entry since they develop differently depending on the route, but as with Fates as a whole I feel like the three iterations of the character average out somewhere just slightly below average. Birthright Corrin is a standard FE protagonist, except maybe a little angrier (Leif, Shadow Dragon Marth maybe?) and with entirely too many death scenes thrown at them. Conquest Corrin has the most missed potential, as with most things involving Conquest apart from gameplay, and one practically has to roll with the headcanon that they and the Nohr royals have been conditioned by years of abuse to make their characters sort of work. Revelation Corrin reminds me unpleasantly of Robin (see below) with the power of cross-cultural friendship stuff and the super special ending. I’m not too fond of the character as a unit either, since they take more work to get as flexibly broken as the other Avatars and their manakete form fails to impress except for tanking.

Seliph - saved from C Tier by the general messiness of Jugdral. His father’s legacy is a complicated one, and about 1/3rd of his campaign amounts to a blood feud with the aim of giving his first cousin a throne for somewhat dubious reasons. He takes some time to get as broken as SIgurd, but he’s all sorts of fun when he gets there. Couldn’t tell you if he’s got any interesting romantic prospects, endorsed by the pairing system or otherwise, because he’s still pretty dull in that department.

C Tier - bland, and usually bad as units

Marth - truly the Mario of FE, in that he’s everywhere with a different personality almost every time. His two remakes did surprisingly little to flesh him out in any consistent way, and by that point over half a dozen other protagonists had diverged from his archetypical lord model in almost as many different ways.

Roy - red-haired Marth with a harem and an obscenely late promotion instead of no promotion at all *yawns* I guess he gets points for having a living parent? Not sure why anyone is a particular fan of him unless they mained him in Melee. Maybe a remake will help him out?

Chrom - Marth with biceps and a time-traveling daughter who coincidentally cosplays as Marth. That’s marginally less yawn-worthy if only because of how strange it all is, and he also borrows from the Hector-type lord as well so he ends up as an unexpected fusion of the buff and the bishonen. Overshadowed in story and in gameplay by his daughter and some random amnesiac he found in a field who he may or may not decide to sleep with.

Eirika - only slightly a Marth clone, but as with Celica the story is unevenly stacked against her and in favor of her male counterpart, even on her own route. The fandom doesn’t like her because she’s naïve, but that could also be said of several other lords. Not really into her as a unit or any of her ships, so...yeah.

Kris - ...do they even count as a lord? Eh, whatever.

D Tier - OP unit, terrible character

Robin - would have been so much more tolerable if endgame didn’t abruptly swerve to becoming entirely about them, at the expense of Chrom and Lucina and everyone else. Somehow the special secret origin type of Avatar grates more than one whose importance to everyone and everything in the story is laid out right at the beginning. I can more or less buy everyone in Fates obsessing over Corrin because of who they are and what they represent for the various players, but not so much Robin whom everyone rallies around apparently for the sole reason that they’re a really friendly tactical genius. Compound that with the fact that they’re meant to be a self-insert in a game with enormous levels of explicit homoerotic denial and it should be easy to see why they’re at the bottom of this list.

[eastofthemoon]

The More The Merrier

I took part in the VLD Rarepair Exchange on twitter and I got @lucia-ik who requested to see Keith and Allura expecting their first child.  So, I wrote this!  I hope everyone likes this.

Title: The More The Merrier

Rating: G

Series: Voltron Legendary Defender

Characters/Shipping: Keith/Allura

Summary:  “Did the children kick you out of bed?”

Allura gave a small smile. “No, there was just some reading I had to do.

”What kind of reading had to be done this early in the morning? Keith thought, but decided to drop the matter for the moment.

Archive of our Own

Keith awoke to feel fur tickling his nose. Groggily, he cracked open an eye and wasn’t surprised to see the tip of a purple ear to be the culprit. He yawned as he awoke and peeked under the blanket.

As he suspected, Keith spotted the youngest of his children. Mina whined as she clutched the teddy bear Lance made her, and snuggled deeper against his chest for warmth. Keith gave a warm smile as he patted the little Garla’s head and caused her ears to twitch.

“Nightmare again, Kiddo,” he whispered softly.

There was no response except for the soft snore as she burrowed deeper under the blanket. Keith would have shut his eyes to go back to sleep, but there was more movement on the other side of the bed.

He raised an eyebrow as he lifted the blanket to take a peek and saw his other two children were there.

Zenla, his and Allura’s eldest daughter, was sleeping sounding as she clutched her pillow and her purple hair dangled over her face. She was a Sheromi, and from how Coran described, they were distant cousins to Alteans. Keith had to admit minus the pink skin and their lack of ability to shapeshift, Shermois did have similar ears and markings to Alteans.

Next to Zenla was Toby, his and Allura’s current only son. Keith knew his race were called Yahians, except he couldn’t help but look at the kid and swear Toby was just half dragon.

Toby had human face and hands, but he had black horns sticking out of his flaming red hair and his dragon wings were currently folded against his back. Keith saw Toby’s tail twitch under the blanket and give a small whimper.

Keith reached over and patted Toby’s head. “Easy, Son,” he cooed. “You’re okay.”

Toby settled as he nestled against his hand. “Stupid vampires,” the boy muttered as he settled back down.

Keith sighed as his brain put the pieces together. All three of his kids most likely got scared and had crawled into his, and Allura’s bed to feel safe.

“I need to chat with Pidge about the kind of movies she shows you three,” he grumbled.

Keith glanced over to see how Allura was doing and suddenly realized she was not in their bed. He frowned.

Did the kids kick her out of the bed in their sleep again? He thought. It was hardly the first time, Keith himself had fell victim to it a few times. It was for that reason he and Allura had been meaning to get a new bed.

Keith peeked over the side, and saw no trace of her. Yet, he then caught movement out of his eye from the chair in the next chamber over. He glanced to the clock and confirmed it was too early for Allura to be awake.

Feeling concerned, Keith gently eased Mina off of him and over to Zenla. As he predicted, the little girl clung to her big sister and Zenla hugged back. Keith smiled as he proceed to tuck his kids in before he climbed out of bed.

He wrapped his robe around himself and quietly headed into the other chamber. Keith found his wife sitting in a chair as she seemed to be reading a report on a tablet.

Keith raised an eyebrow as he reached out and touched her shoulder. “Isn’t it early to be reading battle reports?”

Allura jumped slightly as she held the tablet to her chest. “You scared me,” she said with a sigh.

“Sorry,” Keith said as he took a seat next to her and brushed a stray hair over her shoulder. “Did the children kick you out of bed?”

Allura gave a small smile. “No, there was just some reading I had to do.”

What kind of reading had to be done this early in the morning? Keith thought, but decided to drop the matter for the moment. He wrapped his arms around her as Allura leaned into him.

“Assuming the kids had a nightmare?” he asked.

Allura nodded and sighed. “Pidge showed them a vampire movie.” She frowned and looked to Keith. “What is a vampire?”

“An Earth monster that’s suppose to suck out your blood,” Ketih said with a shrug.

Allura cringed as she stuck out her tongue. “Good grief, no wonder that children were scared. How is that considered children’s entertainment?”

“It’s not usually,” Keith said as rested his head against hers, “but Pidge’s thinks scary movies are fun.”

Allura scoffed. “She would,” she muttered as she looked back to their children. “Zenla’s birthday will be coming up soon.”

Keith nodded as he looked over to the space mice that were sleeping on Allura’s dresser. They usually tried to sleep at the bottom of their bed, except when the children crawled in. Apparently they got accidentally rolled on one too many times to their liking. They normally enjoyed snuggling with the kids, but all three at once was too much for the small creatures.

“How long have we had Zenla now?” Keith asked. “Two years?”

“It’s been three, dear,” Allura corrected as she held up three fingers.

Keith blinked in disbelief. “Has it really been three years?”

Allura confirmed like a nod. “Although, it does feel it was only yesterday when you brought her home.”

“Yeah,” Keith admitted with a nostalgic smile.

He hadn’t planned on taking home a kid that day. They had celebrated their second wedding anniversary just days before when they got a distress call from the Sheromi colony. They were being attacked by some of the leftover forces of the Empire. They flew there and fought off the ships, but then had to land in order to assist the Sheromi’s with the damage that was caused.

That was where Keith found Zenla. She was alone, scared and crying as she was hiding in an alleyway. At first, Keith assumed she was lost, but learned fast she was an orphan.

Zenla lost her parents awhile back, and no one was willing to take her in, so she was forced to live on the streets. The Sheromi elders told Keith they could take her to the orphanage, but then Zenla clung to him and buried her face against his leg.

Keith suddenly got flashbacks when he was young, alone and scared after he lost his father. How many times did he wish someone would come and take him to be part of their family? How much had he envied other children having happy families to come home to?

More times than he could count, and he imagined it was the same for Zenla that was clinging to him.

At that moment, as he placed a protective hand on her back, Keith decided he was not going to abandoned this kid. He was not going to leave her like this.

Zenla seemed stunned when Keith asked her if she wanted to come with him, and gleefully nodded with tears in her eyes.

Only problem was, the Sheromis refused to let Keith take her unless he legally adopted her. That grated on Keith’s nerves. No one bothered to take her in, and yet they claimed to care what happened to her if she left the planet? That seemed like a huge double standard and before thinking it through, he signed up papers and took Zenla home.

It didn’t quite click what he did until he and the Red Lion flew into the castle, and realized he was going to tell his wife that they had a daughter now.

Lance and Pidge teased him on that material for a good few months.

“I will say, you took it all rather well considering I did spring it upon you like that,” Keith said.

Allura laced her fingers into his. “It took some adjusting once I got over the shock,” she said as she poked his head. “Although, I certainly couldn’t say ‘No’ once I saw how sweet Zenla was, or how much it meant to you.”

Keith gave a sheepish smile. It hadn’t been easy on either of them to be thrown into parental roles like that. Being leaders was one thing, but the same rules didn’t apply to kids. They were just lucky they had the other Paladins and Coran to assist. Shiro especially seemed delighted to be an uncle.

“Of course, Zenla is easy compared to Toby,” Allura continued.

“He can be a handful at times,” Keith said with a small grin, “but he has a good heart.”

Keith had stumbled upon Toby when he, Shiro, and Hunk had went to the planet Akona. They had gone into the marketplace when Toby had tried to pickpocket Hunk. He would have gotten away if Keith hadn’t spotted him and chased him down.

Of course, didn’t take long to learn that Toby was only stealing because he was homeless and was starving. Keith was certain if he hadn’t brought Toby home, Hunk would have just to put some meat on the kid’s bones. Truth be told, Shiro had looked tempted to adopt Toby himself.

It took some adjusting since Zenla had been used to being an only child, but they grew to become two peas in a pod. Although, Keith imagined there were times Coran wished they weren’t such a team with all the trouble they got into.

Lance’s encouragement of their pranks didn’t help in that regard.

“He’s a good boy,” Allura said with a smile, “and he and Zenla are both good to their little sister.” She then frowned as she sat up and fingered her tablet. “On that topic...Darling, I do have a confession to make.”

Keith dropped his smile as he raised his head. Allura only called him ‘Darling’ when they had a serious discussion at hand. He gently brushed her hair away from her eyes.

“What is it?” he asked. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Allura said as she held up her tablet. “I..well..I’ve been feeling a bit different lately, so I had run a test on myself last night, and I got up early to check the results.”

Keith held his breath as he tried to resist looking at the tablet and let Allura tell him. “And what did it say?”

Allura shut her eyes, took a deep breath and then turned her face to directly look in his eyes.

“Keith, I’m pregnant,” she stated in a firm tone.

Keith’s eyes widened as he gradually opened and shut his mouth. “Pregnant?” he stammered. “But didn’t Coran conclude that Alteans and humans couldn’t reproduce?”

“He said it was unlikely, so while it wasn’t impossible there was at least a small chance,” Allura stated as she gave a shaky smile.

“And..we managed to beat the odds,” Keith concluded.

Allura nodded as she placed a hand over her stomach. “Frankly, I’m still processing the revelation myself.”

Keith leaned back in the chair, cracked a smile and before he knew it he let loose a chuckle.

“Heh, of course you got pregnant,” he said with a grin, “that’s just our luck.”

Allura turned to him with a small pout. “Dare I inquire what you mean by that?”

Keith raised a hand. “Sorry, sorry, but it is kind of funny that you get pregnant after we got our little trio back there,” he said as he gestured back to their bed.

Allura glanced back, and then laughed. “I suppose it is funny.“ She covered her mouth with her her hand. “At the rate you bring orphans home, we’ll have the castle overflowing with them before we know it.”

Keith scoffed. “Need I remind you that you’re the one that found and brought Mina home?”

Allura blushed at that, and Keith had to resist to laugh. He hadn’t been there for it personally. All he knew was that Allura, Shiro and Coran went to a meeting with the Kolivan, and Allura came home with a toddler Galra.

“The Blades had found her abandoned,” Allura stated as she cuddled Mina to her chest. “They were debating on what to do with her and..before I knew it I volunteered to take her.”

Keith should have laughed but he couldn’t. He was touched. It wasn’t long ago Allura wouldn’t have even considered working alongside Galra. Neither of them ever predicted that not only would she marry Keith, who was half Galra, but also adopt a Galra child as their own.

Mina fitted in perfectly with their little family. Zenla and Toby adored their baby sister, and she loved them. Mina also adored being cuddled by him and Allura, and that was when she wasn’t being spoiled by Coran or the other Paladins.

Keith’s thoughts then drifted back to the present and he placed a hand over Allura’s stomach. “How..do you think the other children will react?”

“Mina is still young,” Allura said thoughtfully, “but I believe we can ease her into it. As for Toby and Zenla, they’ll probably shake their heads at us giving them another sibling.”

Keith nodded as he kissed her forehead. “It’s what our family does. They’ll get over it-”

“Papa? Mama?”

Both their heads turned around. Zenla was rubbing her eyes as Mina held her hand as she sucked her thumb.

“What are you two talking about?” Zenla asked.

Keith exchanged a quick nod with Allura. Now wasn’t the time to tell them. They would, but not when they were half asleep.

“Nothing, Sweetheart,” Keith said as he held out his hands. “Did we wake you up?”

Zenla pouted. “No, Mina did when she kicked me.”

Mina said nothing as she scampered over and crawled into Keith’s lap. She latched her small fingers into Keith’s robe and rubbed her face into his chest.

“Want Papa and Mama,” Mina said with a purr.

Keith wrapped his arms around her as Allura reached over to pat Mina’s head.

Zenla sighed as she rolled her eyes. “It’s not like they went that far, squirt.”

Allura giggled as she rose and took Zenla’s hand. “Let’s go back to bed then,” she suggested, “especially since you children have lessons in the morning.”

Zenla stuck out her tongue as Allura lead her back to the bed, and Keith followed with Mina in his arms.

“I rather go shopping with Uncle Lance,” she said and then beamed with her face full of hope. “He said we could something sparkly.”

“Sparkle, sparkle,” Mina chimed in as Keith climbed back into bed with her.

“We’ll discuss that in the morning, alright?” Keith said as he tucked a blanket around the two of them. “After I have more caffeine.”

Allura finished tucking Zenla in as Toby cracked opened his eyes.

“Is it time to get up?” the boy asked with his voice thick of sleep.

“No, Toby, go back to sleep,” Allura said as she wrapped the blanket around them.

“Oh, okay,” Toby said and shut his eyes and his wings flapped a bit. “By the way, I wasn’t scared. I just came along because the girls were.”

“We believe you, son,” Keith said as they all finished settling in. “Just try to go to sleep.”

It didn’t take long before the only sound was snores. Keith looked up and saw Allura gazing upon with a joyful smile. Silently, he reached out with his hand over their children and Allura took hold of it with her own.

They were a happy family, and before long they were going to have another member join them. Keith couldn’t ask for anything more.

[junker-town]

NBA mock draft 2017: Finding the best player available for every team

This mock draft is presented by BPA — best player available.

This mock draft might as well be a big board. After drafting for fit in last week’s mock, this time we’re going with the “best player available” for every team in the first round. It’s resulted in a dramatic change from how the board broke last week.

The biggest difference in this mock from last week? The rise of the big men. While traditional bigs plummeted when we were looking for fit, they shot up the board while searching for the best player available. Creighton’s Justin Patton rises to No. 16 from No. 29 while Wake Forest’s John Collins checks in at No. 19 after sliding to No. 28 a week ago.

It’s going to be fascinating to see what happens to all these bigs especially after an NBA Finals series that had Kevin Durant and LeBron James playing center at times. We’ll know soon enough: we’re now less than two weeks away from the draft.

1. Boston Celtics - Markelle Fultz, G, Washington

You can expect a fresh wave of rumors about Boston’s trade options with the No. 1 pick as the draft approaches, but it would be a shock if the Celtics don’t walk away with Fultz. This is one of the best backcourt prospects in a long time: a big guard who can score from all three levels and plays with a rare creativity.

My guess is that Fultz’s role next year will be as a microwave scorer off the bench. He’s talented enough to put up a few 30-point games as a rookie and give Celtics fans a glimpse of their future. Long-term, I’d expect him to be one of the best guards in the league. If the Celtics can hit the jackpot again with the Nets’ pick next year, they could really start to build something special.

2. Los Angeles Lakers - Lonzo Ball, PG, UCLA

The Lakers won’t pass on Lonzo Ball, will they? It’s possible, but ultimately I think Ball’s combination of shooting ability, vision, and feel for the game gives him the edge over Josh Jackson and De’Aaron Fox.

Ball is a hard player to evaluate simply because we haven’t seen many players like him before. He’s not great in the pick-and-roll and his wonky shot motion prevents him from shooting off the dribble going right. Ball still dominated the college level despite all that, transforming a listless UCLA program into the best show in the country. Steph Curry and Draymond Green didn’t fit into a box either. They turned out alright.

3. Philadelphia 76ers - Josh Jackson, SG/SF, Kansas

If I’m a Sixers fan, I’m praying Ball falls to No. 3 (it’s worth noting actual Sixers fans do not feel this way). Assuming he’s gone, Jackson feels like the next best pick. A lot will be made of Jackson’s shortcomings as a shooter when discussing his potential fit with Ben Simmons, but what I like about him is his unselfishness. Philly already has a certified stud in Joel Embiid and another potential one in Simmons. I don’t want to draft a perimeter player that’s going to take a bunch of shots away from those two. Jackson won’t. He has high basketball IQ, impressive passing ability, and just always seems to make the right play. When you factor in his ability to defend, he’s the third best player in this draft to me.

4. Phoenix Suns - Jonathan Isaac, F, Florida State

The truth is that players No. 4 through No. 10 in this mock can be rearranged however you want. I’m giving Isaac the edge because a) he’s the biggest, and b) he has the highest defensive potential.

I see Isaac as a full-time four who can play spot minutes at the five rather than a three. At small forward, his handle and shot would be more of a question mark. In the front court, he can focus on becoming a monster defensively who can switch every screen, while also serving as a spot-up shooter on offense who primarily takes open looks when the defense collapses on someone else. Some will criticize Isaac for a lack of assertiveness after only averaging eight shots per game at Florida State, but I want a player who plays well with others rather than someone looking to get his. He should fit in well within a team dynamic in the NBA from day one as his skill set continues to develop.

5. Sacramento Kings - Dennis Smith Jr., PG, NC State

The case for Dennis Smith over De’Aaron Fox: Smith averaged more points, assists, rebounds, and steals per game, and he’s also a better outside shooter. He doesn’t have Fox’s straight-line speed (no one does), but he’s even more explosive attacking the rim. The truth is that Smith’s college situation at NC State did him no favors. The Wolfpack fired coach Mark Gottfried in the middle of the year, missed the NCAA tournament, and never gave Smith a national stage to play on. He’s a little short at 6’2, but I’d expect him to be a productive pro for a long time.

6. Orlando Magic - Jayson Tatum, SF, Duke

I wouldn’t be surprised if there are multiple teams with Tatum at No. 2 on their overall board. He’s a big wing with classic go-to scoring ability. At this point, he’s most comfortable getting buckets out of the high post, but he’s also only 19 years old. His three-point shot looks pretty good and it’s a safe bet to assume NBA range will come in time. I just don’t know how much better he’s going to make his teammates. A player like Isaac seems more malleable in a team situation.

7. Minnesota Timberwolves - Malik Monk, G, Kentucky

Monk vs. Fox is a fun debate because they’re the exact same size with completely opposite games. My case for Monk: he’s significantly better as a shooter, flashed some potential as a playmaker, and is just as much of a stud athletically. And yes, I’m well aware it’s highly likely Fox makes this take look extremely bad in a few years.

8. New York Knicks - De’Aaron Fox, PG, Kentucky

My thing with Fox: how good can a point guard be in the modern NBA if he really can’t shoot? Now, it’s possible Fox makes major strides as a shooter as his pro career goes on. He hit 74 percent of his free throws in college and his form doesn’t look totally broken. Mike Conley is a popular comparison for him and Conley certainly improved considerably as a shooter since entering the league from Ohio State. Fox also profiles as a hard-working, high-character player who should get better. I just can’t get past that shaky jump shot for now.

9. Dallas Mavericks - Lauri Markkanen, PF, Arizona

Fox at No. 8 and Markkanen at No. 9 shows just how strong this draft is within the top 10. I think Markkanen is a much better prospect than the No. 9 overall pick from two years ago: Charlotte’s Frank Kaminsky. Consider that Kaminsky hit 42 threes at a 41.6 percent clip in his breakout senior season for Wisconsin two years ago. Markkanen just drained 69 threes at a 42.3 percent clip as a freshman. Markkanen would be an elite shooter at any position, but getting it out of a legit seven-footer makes him worthy of a top-10 pick.

10. Sacramento Kings - Frank Ntilikina, PG, France

Ntilikina is a super long 6’5 point guard from France who projects as a 3-&-D ball handler in the mold of George Hill. There are a lot of teams who could use that type of player right now. If he reaches his ceiling, I envision Sixers fans complaining that the Colangelos should have just taken him at No. 3.

11. Charlotte Hornets - Donovan Mitchell, G, Louisville

I like the Avery Bradley comp for Mitchell: he’s short for a two-guard (6’3), but he’s a mega athlete, a ferocious defender, and has some potential as a shooter and creator.

12. Detroit Pistons - Zach Collins, C, Gonzaga

The ideal center in the modern game can protect the rim, make threes, and hang with a guard on the perimeter out of the pick-and-roll. I’ll give Collins the first two. His shooting stroke looked promising in a relatively small sample (10 made threes at 47.6 percent) and he also blocked 69 shots in just 17.2 minutes per game. I think it’s fair to question his ability to guard the perimeter. Some scouts also worry that he’s not a “next play guy,” meaning he too easily gets down on himself after he screws up.

13. Denver Nuggets - OG Anunoby, F, Indiana

Anunoby’s breakout came when he smothered Jamal Murray in the 2016 NCAA tournament. Given how good Murray looked for the Nuggets as a rookie, that’s an encouraging performance. Unfortunately, Anunoby didn’t make the jump many expected this past season at Indiana, which ultimately ended with a torn ACL. Still, this is a big, strong, and long defensive prospect who should be able to defend at least three positions in the NBA. He’s worth a late lotto pick.

14. Miami Heat - Jarrett Allen, C, Texas

Allen is a mega long (7’5 wingspan) and quick center who could develop into a rock on defense and a capable putbacks/o-boards/lobs guy on offense. I don’t see him developing his perimeter offensive game much beyond that. He ended the year as only a 56.4 percent free throw shooters went 0-for-7 from three, and had 84 turnovers to just 27 assists.

15. Portland Trail Blazers - Justin Jackson, SG, North Carolina

It’s hard to hate on Jackson too much after what he did in his junior year at UNC. He finally blossomed as a three-point shooter (105 makes at 37 percent) and shut down Malik Monk on defense in the Elite Eight. He’s also by far the oldest potential lottery pick this year and isn’t that athletic or that great of a shooter. I like him more if he can defend shooting guards rather than small forwards.

16. Chicago Bulls - D.J. Wilson, F, Michigan

Wilson was a late bloomer who finally put it all together at the end of last season for Michigan. There’s a lot to like about his tools: 6’10 with a 7’3 wingspan, he’s a combo forward who can handle the ball and shoot from deep on offense while providing some measure of rim protection on defense. He feels like one of the biggest boom-or-bust guys in this draft, but someone will talk themselves into his tools.

17. Milwaukee Bucks - Ike Anigbogu, C, UCLA

Everyone’s favorite comp for Anigbogu is Rockets center Clint Capela. Capela is pretty good! If you can get a similar player at No. 17 in this draft, he’s worth the pick.

18. Indiana Pacers - Luke Kennard, SG, Duke

luke kennard wore PG 1s to his workout with the Pacers lol

— Whitney Medworth (@its_whitney) June 6, 2017

I’m sold.

19. Atlanta Hawks - Justin Patton, C, Creighton

Patton is just starting to scratch the surface of his offensive skill. He has a developing shooting stroke, showed a little bit of a handle, and has the quick hands and quick feet required to make an impact on defense.

20. Portland Trail Blazers - Harry Giles, C, Duke

Giles is a medical decision at this point. He’s had two major knee injuries and a third operation just before the start of his freshman season at Duke. If he can regain the form he showed as a recruit, No. 20 is way too low.

21. Oklahoma City Thunder - Terrance Ferguson, SG, Adelaide (NBL)

On paper, there’s a lot to like about Terrance Ferguson. He has great size for a two guard at 6’6, he’s super athletic, and he can get hot from three-point range, as shown by the six threes he hit in last year’s Nike Hoop Summit. The game just seems to move a little too fast for him sometimes. The key will be continuing to improve his decision making.

22. Brooklyn Nets - Rodions Kurucs, SF, Latvia

I am but a lowly college basketball guy, so I can’t tell you much about Kurucs. I do know he’s a 6’8 wing who looks fluid athletically with a developing three-point shot. Here, watch a highlight video instead:

23. Toronto Raptors - Anzejs Pasecniks, C, Latvia

I’m just going to leave this here:

Anzejs Pasecniks does not move like your typical 7'3 guy. Showing very impressive stuff here at his Pro Day. http://pic.twitter.com/BU2VZBzQlG

— Jonathan Givony (@DraftExpress) June 3, 2017

24. Utah Jazz - Semi Ojeleye, F, SMU

Ojeleye committed to Duke out of high school and decided to leave for SMU midway through the Blue Devils’ championship run in 2015. He was unstoppable this year for the Mustangs, averaging 19 points per game and winning conference player of the year in the American. He’s unfathomably jacked, he can score from all three levels, and he had a 40-inch vertical. His quickness is his biggest question mark.

25. Orlando Magic - T.J. Leaf, PF, UCLA

Leaf led UCLA in scoring as a freshman by shooting 61.7 percent from the floor and 46.6 percent from three. He’s a 6’10 stretch four who could draw comparisons to Ryan Anderson.

26. Portland Trail Blazers - John Collins, PF, Wake Forest

Collins was basically the most efficient player in college basketball this past season. He’s an automatic scorer on the interior and a great rebounder on both ends of the floor. The problem is he doesn’t have much shooting range and he struggles defensively. He reminds me a bit of Enes Kanter — not bad, considering Kanter is an $80 million player in this league.

27. Brooklyn Nets - Isaiah Hartenstein, C, Germany

Let’s just quote what DraftExpress said here after watching him at April’s Nike Hoop Summit:

Hartenstein has developed the reputation as a 7-footer who can space the floor and attack from the perimeter but after a week in Portland he showed his initial value may be more as a hard-playing, 250-pound big who can make his presence felt on the glass and play with activity defensively as his offensive skill set continues to develop. Hartenstein may very well turn into a threat from NBA three down the road, but he showed that he has quite a bit of room to improve in that regard. His overall skill set offensively could use some polishing. With that said, Hartenstein has NBA tools to fall back on at 7' 1 with a great frame and impressive mobility. - Source:

28. Los Angeles Lakers - Tyler Lydon, PF, Syracuse

Like T.J. Leaf, Lydon is a 6’10 shooter who is a solid rebounder and wants to prove that he’s more athletic than his rep suggests. How would we view Leaf vs. Lydon if Lydon was the one playing with Lonzo Ball every night?

29. San Antonio Spurs - Kyle Kuzma, PF, Utah

A versatile 6’9 forward who shined at the draft combine in Chicago. If his jump shot is for real (he hit 32 percent from deep last year), he can have a long career.

30. Utah Jazz - Derrick White, SG, Colorado

White has a complete skill set for a guard. He can score, facilitate, and hold his own defensively. Just ask Arizona: White hung 31 points, six rebounds, and five assists on the Wildcats in the Pac-12 tournament.

[spn-fanfic]

Abuse??

I need some advice. I know that you all aren't professionals or anything and it's hard to judge something from an online account of it, but I really have NOT been able to get something off my mind recently. I've been constantly thinking about my parents/brothers treatment of me growing up. There's a lot of things that stick in my mind and they just kinda hit me this year, when I moved away to college. I just want to start this by saying I wasn't physically abused. I mean, not really. There were 4 instances that stick out in my mind in terms of getting physical. First, my dad hit me on the leg (hard enough to sting) because we were having a discussion in the car. I have no clue what it was about. Second, one time I was fighting with my mom and she slapped me on the arm. Not hard. Last, again I was fighting with my mom and my dad kinda yelled to stop it. I said something to him (I think it was like "this doesn't involve you" but I'm not sure.) And kinda ran towards me and grabbed me by the hair. This happened twice. I don't remember why he grabbed my hair the second time. What I really want to ask about is emotional stuff. Let me start with my brother. When I was younger, I remember some times when he tormented me. Now I know that this is fairly normal and he probably didn't realize what he was doing, but I remember being so genuinely terrified that I would hide from him and call my parents (who would be working on a house we were building in the backyard). I would be with my back against a door and he would grab at my ankles. I don't know how to feel about this... but I can say that I can't think of a recent particular instance that I've felt scared or victimized by him, only then. Then there's my dad - first off, he is not okay with me having a different political opinion than him and makes me feel very guilty about disagreeing. He will scream over me, even now, and tell me to shut up. Also, I remember one time we all went on vacation to Florida. I don't do this often and so I asked of we could stop by Myrtle Beach at some point (because we were driving and passing through) and everyone undoubtedly said no. Of course, I was disappointed and acted like I was (which, admittedly we were on vacation and I should've just went with it... There's always another time to go) and he called me a bitch... more than once, yelling over me when I tried to defend myself. He said "this is what I hate, that defeatist attitude from you." Then he called me that. Also, there were a lot of times where he said the words "I know you're [insert any age below 18 here] but don't think I won't hesitate to beat your ass." Of course, he was referring to spanking me? Which I find VERY weird and am confused because I believe I was almost 18 the last time he said this to me? Plus, I don't think spanking is every appropriate for a kid anyway... but that's another thing. He would also say "YOU aren't going to tell me what YOU'RE going to do." Again, all the way until I was 18. This was usually in relation to things like me not wanting to help them clean at home when I had made plans prior. I'm sure there's stuff I'm missing about the other two, but I want to move onto my mom. Whoo boy, there's a lot. First off, I remember being a very passive child and kinda doing anything anyone told me because I just assumed they were right. Now, I was like this all the way up until about middle school (7th grade) and I remember being SEVERLY depressed for 5th and 6th. Like, cried myself to sleep, and ate very little food. Idk, it was bad. But when I got to middle school, things got better and I started to find my voice. Still a pushover, but better, and I wasn't so depressed anymore. I'm honestly not sure what changed. But then, again my sophomore year of high school it got really bad for a second time, and was like that for a whole year. Like... i wasnt eaying bad. Then it got better again, idk how to explain it. But anyway, I digress. Around the first time I started to feel better, my mom starting saying how much I had changed and how bad it was. She used to say "you were such a sweet child then, and now you aren't, and you don't listen to me. What changed?" Which.. I always found very insulting because this was the time I feel I began to become better.. not worse. I remember her humiliating me in front of my friends. At the time, I HATED my dance classes (I can admit that it totally was a phase, I love dance) and she had me stick with them. I would make excuses not to go a lot, and admittedly part of this was because of my emotional state. But anyways, one time my friend was over and was going to carpool (because we had the same dance class) and I can't remember if I lied about not having the right shoes so I couldn't go, or if I genuinely couldn't find them. (Which obviously, I shouldn't lie and shouldn't lose things) also, I had a very messy closet. I just remember yanking everything out of my closet, throwing it all over the place and screaming because she was trying to find my shoes. In front of my friend. Idk. She also CONSTANTLY comments on my weight and appearance. She made me feel self conscious about things I didn't even k ow were there. Her comments are always unwarranted and she acts innocent when I confront her about them. She does the same with acne. She also gets very upset that I talk a lot. Like, she berates me for it? I'm making this sound way worse than it is lol. The first time she visited my college, I swore (accidently.. ik I shouldn't swear at my mom) and she was like.. "if this is what this place teaches you then don't think we won't hesitate to pull you out." When I'm the one paying for it. Speaking of my college, she does nothing but insult it.. She made negative comments about my room being too clean the first time she came. She also tries to keep me from getting a summer job. I go to school 10 hours away, and I'm home for the summer. (This is my first year.) I told her I'm going to work when I'm home, and she gave me a myriad of reasons why I cant. She said 1. They would lose food stamps and federal assistance because I would be making money and coming off from them as a dependant 2. I wouldn't be home to "help her" get the house together (there are piles of junk all around and in the property she wants to get clean... bit I've tried to help before and she was saying this for years. Nothing gets done on it) and 3. Bringing up reasons why I HATED my job last year and telling me all jobs would be like that. Also one time.. And this was by far the worst... it took place this year. I was home for Christmas break (about a month long) and my only goal other than having a nice holiday was to get a particular ear piercing before I went back to school. Now, I'm 18 and have money so I had no problems going to get that done and doing the last few errands I had to do by myself before and went back, and said as much. But my mom wanted to come, and I said whatever because I'm a little scared of driving. (Even though I've done it for a few years now 😂😂). I did tell her though that once we were downtown, I wanted to do the ear piercing first because it was on the way, and the website for the place I was getting it done didn't list hours. We had a full list of groceries and stuff to do and I thought we might get there too late.. And this was really the last day I had to get it done before I went back. She agreed, no problem, to doing this.. even though I knew she wasn't too happy about me getting the piercing. So, as soon as we get downtown, (she's driving) she starts saying that she wants to go everywhere else first before my piercing. I got upset.. And said to her that the only reason she's doing that is because she knows it'll be too late to go the piercing parlor by the time we finish everything else, and she doesn't want me to get it. (Once again, I probably shouldn't have been so accusatory.) But.. She starts yelling that I'm paranoid and need to see a psychiatrist because I'm downright crazy for assuming things, and paranoid that everyone is out to get me. This was while we were driving and I started sobbing hysterically.. which she didn't care.. And you know, there's a difference between telling someone you care about you think they need help and using that comment to hurt them. Especially because before she had outright stated how she thought anyone on medication was crazy and looked down on them. She continued errands leaving me in the car, and when she returned and I didn't want to talk this just made her more upset. Of course, she denies a lot of this and is the kinda "well I'm sorry if you were offended" person and she's always blaming someone else. One time she said she didn't like aspects of my personality and then called me too sensitive when I got upset. There's also a lot of instances of my parents fighting and involving me in ways I shouldn't have been. Making me feel guilty about money, etc. Telling me personal things about my brother that were none of my business. My parents also never let me cut my hair. Also, something I really hated my sophomore year was high school band, and I told my parents this and I was forced to continue. Eventually I started skipping (Which I shouldn't have done 😣) and lying to them, telling them I was going. (Which again, shouldn't have done) well, long story short they found out because my teacher called them, and they didn't tell me, getting me to confess. This all came to a head because there was a school parade I was supposed to be in, (on a saturday) and I went to my friends the night before. My dad said he would pick me up in the morning and take me, and I was just going to like hang out at the school and pretend I went. (I know, I shpudnt have done this) So, my friend was aware of this situation and very supportive. She said to call my dad and just tell them her dad would take me, so I didn't have to just sit at the band room. So I did.. And my dad informs me that he has a friend there that can tell him if I'm not there. So.. I just come clean. (Mind you, I've managed to officially withdraw from band at this point because my parents never called the band teacher back and he just ended up dropping me from his roster) and he instantly says, "then you're done with cheering, and I'm coming to get you right now." *click* cheering was one of the things I truly enjoyed. But anyway, he came to get me and they both reemed me out. They didn't end up taking me out of cheering though. That said, my mom still lords it over my head even though I've told her it was contributing to my depression because it is literally the only big lie I've told. I don't know what to make over all that. I'm sure I'm missing things, but there's a lot to this post already and I just want to say that of course I'm not talking about the happy times either. And there's a lot of those! So, to get back to the point of this post... would this be considered emotional abuse? Should I see a therapist? I think I have anxiety/depression but I know you shouldn't self diagnose, and I don't want to pretend I have something I don't.. But I also have a block about therapy I suppose. But I don't know if I was abused and I always doubt how I feel on it and I just wanted other opinions. Thank you for reading and thank you in advance for commenting.