#ik he was already repressed but like

[agentearthling]

just was reading a fic that mentioned Edwin probably was dragged down multiple times in Lust when trying to escape and idk why I didn't consider that before but it makes me incredibly sad. like that's definitely not the best introduction to that kind of thing. and it would definitely further explain his panic and repression we see throughout the show

[slashersweethearts]

on ALL of those notes this is kinda biblically accurate meliwes

every time i ponder the meliwes orb i get a little emo out of guilt. i am so sorry white boy wes n i say this as melina’s #1 defender she did NOT deserve that boy 😭

[constantlyfeelsick]

I feel like I've mentioned this a billion times, but I think I've brought it up only once.

Obviously, the Order was a deeply integral part of Kyrie's life. It affected everything from her morals, worldview, down to the people she associated with (Agnus mentions in "Before the Nightmare" that Alyssa couldn't join the order because she wasn't already a believer so I assume that all of Kyrie's circle were just other believers, excluding Nero). But once the Order broke down, a major component of her life was gone, and her life as she knew it was completely destroyed.

It's never mentioned by Capcom, but how would she cope with it? Would it still heavily impact her even during DMC5? I know that girl has deeply repressed interests and desires that she is aware of but doesn't want to acknowledge unless someone else acts upon it (eg, her feelings for Nero. Ik theres nothing for her, but I dont think she really hinted anything towards Nero until he brought it up), do you think she would learn the courage to act on those post DMC4? (Weird girl Kyrie, my love)

[heyitspersephone]

Thinking about stranger things again now that the strikes are over and how, narratively, it would be way, WAY cooler to have Mike get Vecna’d instead of Will in s5

It’s just something about the way Mike’s trauma is never addressed or handled in any way?? Like, he hugs his mom twice and then when he was depressed in season 2 and 4 nobody did anything (his parents scolded him for his behavior in s2 ig but that’s not support). His best friend went missing leaving from his house, he watched his body get pulled from the quarry, watched El (in his eyes) kill herself stopping the demogorgon, watched Will be possessed, saw Bob die, was in Star Court when everything went down, saw Billy die, had his best friend move away, was SHOT AT (and really too few people talk about the shooting in Cali bc omg??), buried a body, and watched the apocalypse start. And that’s just off the top of my head.

(And yes I’m aware that the other characters (especially Will) are traumatized too but I will get to my point in a second just hold on)

The plot is geared towards this idea that Will and Henry have to have some big face off (and they should, in my opinion, but I don’t think it should be in a possession, or at least not the the Vecna kind of possession, yk?) but that makes it all the better, writing wise, to have mike be the one in danger. Will was helpless and hiding in s1, I think Will should get his big strong moments in s5 where he gets to be the hero of the story.

It would just be a lot more fun to work with Mike being Vecna’d than Will, because what are we going to bring up with Will’s visions? His dad? His sexuality? The events of s1 from his perspective? It would be cool to see, for sure, but we already know most of that. Mike, on the other hand, has a number of untapped things, like jumping off the quarry, why he’s so hesitant to tell El he loves her, how someone who was smart and kind enough to take El in in s1 and come up with the spy and sauna plans in s2 and s3 could turn into the oblivious asshole that he was in s3 and s4 (he needs therapy, ik, I still love his character but I want to explore the reasons he went from his s2 characterization to his s3 one)

It would be a very interesting parallel, I think, to explore Mike’s thought processes in this way, especially with all of Mike’s repression business (bc whether you ship byler or milkvan he is repressing his feelings HARD. Like, beyond his inability to say I love you there’s the fact that he doesn’t bring up the apparent many times he called pre-s4 during the Rink O Mania fight?? That literally would’ve absolved him of guilt in that argument since he WAS reaching out to Will the whole time? Hellooooo????).

Anyways, this all brings me to my main point: Vecna targets isolation as much as he targets trauma and guilt. The whole party was traumatized by the events in s1, s2, and s3, but Max was the one targeted. Plus, Henry went for Fred, Chrissy, and Patrick (I think his name was Patrick) instead of going for the perceivably easy targets that the mcs would make (ik narratively that would’ve made it more boring but shhh), so why Max and those three specifically? They were isolated. Lucas and Erica have each other, Dustin goes to Steve and Robin, Will and El have each other and Jonathan and Joyce, Nancy probably goes to Jonathan, and who does Mike go to?

No one. And don’t say Nancy because if those two have heart to hearts then I’m the next coming of Christ. Max separated herself from the Party in the aftermath of her grief and guilt over Billy, and it feels quite obvious that Mike was doing the same (like I said, he has repression issues). So Mike is traumatized, alone, and guilty (be it Will getting taken from Mike’s house, losing El in front of him multiple times, the many deaths he has witnessed, or the internalized homophobia angle), which makes him more of a target than Will, in my opinion (or at least an easier one, especially given his tendency to put himself on the line during fights (quarry, most of s2, s3 mindflayer fight), which would set him up on the suicidal ideation path)

Furthermore, as I’ve seen a few other people point out (and I can’t find the posts but one of them had eight screenshots of the various moments), Mike is always the one getting in the way, so it would be a strategic move for Henry to target him to get him out of the picture. Mike was the one that found El and got her involved in saving Will s1, he was the one who came up with the spy plan and called out the ambush in s2, he was the one to monologue Will out of his possession s2, he was the one with the sauna plan for Billy in s3, he was the one trying to help El get the strength to fight s4 (even if the monologue sucked ass it’s the intention that counts). As much as people like to hate on Mike, he is in the leader position most of the time when the party is grouped up (barring his mental health struggles slowing that down beginning of s3 and throughout s4, but he’s still capable of it). He’s the idea man, and he’s the one whose character’s foundations were built on the desire to keep his friends safe, so it would be a very fun plot line to watch him be the one targeted in s5. Like Will said, as lovestruck and cheesy as he was, Mike is the heart of the party when he’s on his A-game, so Henry should 100% be trying to keep him in the issues he’s been struggling with.

Obviously, Will and El are the Targets with a capital T for Henry since they’re the ones that got away or whatever, but I think Mike is a weakness of Will’s (and El’s tbh but also I think they need to have separate character arcs and I don’t exactly ship milkvan) that should be exploited.

TL;DR: Mike should get Vecna’d instead of Will in s5 because it would make sense in lore and be a very cool way to resolve his character arc

[atla-confessions]

I've seen ppl sharing their sexuality headcanons so I thought I'd share mine!!! These accidentally ended up getting progressively longer with each character (whoops!):

Aang - bi (every Avatar with a confirmed sexuality has been bi so far, so...) before Katara, he had a crush on Kuzon!

Katara - straight (mby bi-curious but never explored it. If she was sapphic I think she'd only be interested in masculine/butch girls)

Toph - pan and tragically bitchless sigma female (I'd like to imagine she had a crush on nearly every Gaang member at some point, all unrequiented. Later in life she'd date a lot but nothing longterm, she doesn't wanna be tied down)

Sokka - flaming heterosexual (ik bi Sokka is a popular fandom headcanon but idk he gives off "the slightly flamboyant guy everyone assumes is closeted but is actually just straight")

Suki - bi (the first time she found a girl pretty was when she was looking at that Kyoshi statue in her village, it awakened something). Suki and Sokka have huge "bi girl and her slightly fruity straight boyfriend" energy imo

Zuko - he gives off huge "aroace guy who doesn't know what that is so he assumes it's normal to no have any desire to seek out a romantic relationship on his own, but still dates bc it's nice that someone wants him (he's deeply insecure & extremely touch starved) so he goes his entire life thinking he's straight" (I also like gay Zuko for the extra angst though, even if it's not rly how I see him)

Azula - extremely repressed lesbian with painful internalized homophobia. Master of ignoring & internally denying the fact she's interested in women. Was in love with Mai since they were kids and was always extremely bothered by Mai's interest in Zuko. Even post redemption (Azula gets redeemed in my brain, though it's a year long process), she's still secretly hoping Mai and Zuko will somehow break up. (She's manifesting their divorce so hard)

Ty Lee - lesbian but closeted and keeps her relationships private from everyone, even friends (having grown up in a homophobic environment she always needed to be careful). Probably delt with comphet at some point, but during the show's plot she's already aware she's a lesbian, though fakes interest in men to conceal this fact (and bc she thinks it's funny to mess with them snd have them do her favors). Had a crush on Azula when they were little, but it never went anywhere and disappeared as soon as she realized the power Azula has over her and how scary she can be.

Mai - bi or straight. Bi Mai is great bc I'd like to imagine Azula being extremely confused "what do you mean you are bi and still somehow more interested in Zuko then me???" Though straight Mai is also real because a worryingly large amount of goth women end up dating men that they are way too good for.

Ty for reading :D

X

[fandomwe1rd0]

This is something that's been bothering me for a while so I'm gonna post a rant about it. So male abuse victims aren't really shown in the media, I can only think of like 2 that were shown well, which is Hunter from the Owl House and Bojack Horseman from, well, Bojack Horseman. Now I don't watch a lot of TV, but that's still a little in comparison to the female abuse victims I know that were portrayed well. Diane, Adora, Amity (You could agrue that her parents aren't abusive but they do seem emotionally neglectful and that is a form of abuse sooo) Etc., etc., you get the point.

And now we've got Morty, a male abuse victim, and the show just completely ignores his trauma! And it makes me upset! They have this golden opportunity to show a male abuse victim and the effects the abuse has on him, especially since we already see the low self image he has curtesy of Rick, and that he has repressed rage towards Rick, but that's just about all we get. We never see anything more. And it's upsetting, ik the show isn't over yet, they still have 3 more seasons, but I'm just starting to worry. While I love Morty as is, he has so much untapped potential that, if it was unleashed, it would make me love him even more. I just really hope they use Morty more, but I'm scared that they won't explore his trauma because (Credits to @hazelnut-u-out for pointing this out) it would make Rick less sympathetic, since it would be hard to sympathize with an abuser with the effects of their victims being shown, although I would agree Rick could still remain sympathetic since Bojack is sympathetic to many people despite the effects of his horrible actions being shown, I don't sympathize with him but that's for personal reasons.

I just really hope they care less about making Rick sympathetic and more about giving Morty the attention that he deserves and giving our boy justice. What do y'all think?

[journey-to-the-attic]

bold of you to assume we (or atleast i) dont want to read paragraphs about ik's and belphie's dynamic 😈😈

if you feel like writing that, i'd absolutely love to read about it!!! ^^

RIGHT YES this took me a hot minute but let's go!!!!

so the main points that this is all built around:

belphie is someone who is absolutely shit at understanding himself

ik is someone who has a knack for understanding anyone she talks to for long enough

belphie's first resort is usually to leave things to someone else, but easily asserts the things he wants

ik will actively pursue you if she thinks she can help, despite usually feeling guilty about requesting anything

they both have very simple views of very complicated things

building from point 1: this is not entirely belphie's fault - i've talked about this before, so i'll just paste the pertinent bits here:

belphie, as the youngest brother, has been detrimentally coddled in regards to these things, and has NO fucking idea how to properly deal with loss the others haven't tried to talk to him about his grief for lilith, nor about their experiences during the celestial war; when they all had to support each other after the fall, they comforted him, but never ever discussed the pain of it all it's like the doctor refusing to talk about your actual symptoms because they're afraid of making you uncomfortable, and instead just soothingly going "it's okay, just take some ibuprofen and see me in the morning"

belphie underestimates himself and, at the start of the year, is convinced that there's no way forward - 1. he feels he's left it too late, 2. he feels he's the only one still hung up on lilith's death, which only makes him more bitter, and 3. he thinks that the hatred and grief is just who he is now

now take ik, who finds him in the attic and takes worryingly little convincing to help him - even more concerningly, she decides to go through with it even upon finding out he was lying about his identity. this is a direct contradiction to his conviction that humanity is selfish and cruel - more than that, the more ik visits and chats with him, the more he remembers why he'd been so fascinated by humans as an angel

except it also reminds him of how much lilith loved humanity. belphie doesn't think he's capable of letting go - he doesn't think he's allowed to, and to him befriending a human and moving on is the same as betraying his sister's memory. so he represses any feelings of good-will and continues to nurse his hatred

i think it's important to note that belphie's hang-ups have always been self-destructive before this, but the more he lets his own grief fester, the more it threatens to burst. his threat to lucifer about destroying humanity is an early indicator of this, and it culminates in a moment of extreme emotional distress where it finally all implodes

so ik - in the wrong place and the wrong time (in the literal sense) - finds him in the middle of a nightmare, wakes him up, and gets murdered for her troubles

belphie shuts down immediately after, because to him this is a point of no return. he's already convinced himself that nothing can be done for him, and this is the proof. except then everyone else forgets what's happened, and, panicking, he goes along with it - out of fear of losing his family if he comes clean.

so: point 2 - consider that a big thing with ik is that she just doesn't get why belphie acts the way he does after killing her. she's been able to get into the heads of his brothers before him, and even now can somewhat rationalise them forgetting, but she has no idea why belphie - who first killed her and then acted like he'd forgotten about it - would suddenly seem so wracked with guilt upon finding him in the dreamscape

belphie does not think he is strong enough to move on. ik, somehow, intrinsically, already knows this is not true. this is why she's so bewildered by belphie telling her lilith's story. he's convinced this is some kind of damning evidence, but ik doesn't get how this explains anything. and because she doesn't understand, she seeks answers.

now take point 3 and 4. belphie does not attempt to seek forgiveness - he just sits in the cell solomon locks him in. he doesn't try to get out, he doesn't attempt to repent, and he doesn't want to, because as far as he's concerned there's nothing to be done

ik, on the other hand, is going to put her home back together by force if necessary, so she goes to find him. multiple times, she climbs up the tower stairs to rescue him from a waking nightmare - the same thing that killed her - because her family is still his family, and she knows too well what it's like when you go without.

belphie has been sitting stagnant for millennia on end, and now ik has decided that she is going to KICK him along until he figures out that he can stand on his own two feet and keep going. and it works, because for some reason digging demons out of emotional pits of their own creation is ik's specialty

and now point 5: ik and belphie fall quite easily into a typical sibling dynamic of the "i'll make fun of you constantly, but if anyone messes with you they're dead" kind. they never really sit down to talk out all the residual Baggage of everything, because neither of them are the type to overthink these things

but EVEN THEN. they may be simple-minded but the complication of the everything that led up to this means there's little hidden meanings even in the normalcy of their behaviour, and neither of them ever register it

for belphie it's "i'll never understand you. thank you for understanding me. i don't know what to say, so i'll tease you for tripping on your laces instead. i'd throw someone down a gorge if they made you cry. let's go shopping. i think i'll spend the rest of my life wondering if i can ever close the wound i tore in your soul."

for ik it's "i'll never forget what you did to me. i see you in my nightmares sometimes. thanks for waiting for me after school. quit making a show out of helping me reach the top shelf. sometimes i'm glad you regret things so much. can you help me with this homework? i think we're alright."

and for both of them it's "i like hanging out with you. sleep well. i'm glad we're home."

in conclusion,

i am crazy about things i made up entirely. perhaps i am cringe but i am free

[funnywormz]

🏳️‍🌈Rimmer...

send me 🏳️‍🌈 and a character for my lgbt headcanon and a doodle

HELL YEAH >:3

my headcanons on rimmer bounce around a little bit but these are the most constant ones/my favs! some elaboration/explanation below

gay: i headcanon rimmer as gay (specifically homoromantic)! he is just gay to me. i cannot imagine him with a woman, and all of his attempts to act straight and manly in canon feel kinda silly like he's trying Too Hard. i could go on a rant abt this topic for hours but ppl in the rd fandom already somewhat know what im talking abt lol. he's at least some flavour of queer no doubt abt it

asexual: ive seen this headcanon around a bit and iirc at least one half of grant naylor has said that rimmer doesn't rlly feel attraction or have much libido and his attempts at sexual pursuits are just him trying to prove something (this also relates to him being gay but yknow)......... this headcanon has grown on me a lot and i like it. personally i feel like it fits him and makes sense for his character yknow. i don't rlly have much to say abt this one lol i just saw someone else with this headcanon one day and was like "oh yeah that checks out. asexuality be upon ye" and that was it. also a character with a nickname/alter ego called "ace" literally being ace is too good of an opportunity to pass up tbh

nonbinary: probably the most niche/unpopular of these headcanons but hear me out. rimmer does a lot of posturing and protesting around his sexuality but he also does the same thing with his gender, always trying to prove himself as a manly man despite that not being who he is, making snide remarks abt ace wearing woman's clothing, the moments when he wears women's clothing himself, the fact that low rimmer is blatantly gnc etc......... also he's been a hologram for most of his life? death? existence? now and the entire human race is extinct. gender and sex and whatever are kinda completely irrelevant to him now. and i think that for rimmer, gender was always more of a cage that he forced himself into rather than something he ever had genuine enthusiasm about. also im nonbinary and i love Projecting and also generally fucking around with characters' genders

(side note: ik ive been using he/him exclusively for rimmer here, and im doing that bc those are his pronouns in canon and what ppl are familiar with, but personally i headcanon his pronouns as he/she/they/xe)

(side side note: im aware that rimmer is far too repressed and confused to ever realise that he is gay much less that xe is ace and nonbinary LOL. these are not things i would expect her to ever fully realise abt himself. but like. in theory. deep down. in an ideal universe. this is how i see him truly being below all the internalised issues etc)

[skjam]

Pulptober 2024 Day 9: The Avenger/Weapons of Justice

Before the tragedy that turned him into the frozen-faced Avenger, Richard Henry Benson was already an omnicompetent pulp adventurer. Let's talk about his signature weapons, streamlined and "silenced" .22 revolver "Mike" and needle-like throwing knife "Ike" and what they tell us about him.

One of the stories reveals that Benson killed a man during a gunfight when he was still quite young, and the horrific event convinced him that he never wanted to directly kill again. In light of this, he trained intensively to be able to shoot a person with a glancing bullet to the skull, knocking them out without permanent damage. (Do not try this at home.) Likewise, he trained to throw knives to disarm or pin rather than to kill.

The Avenger's weapons sacrifice stopping power for speed, accuracy and stealth. Fortunately, he seldom goes up against armored opponents.

Benson designed and built Mike and Ike personally, showing us his weapon-smithing skills. They're very much *his* personal weapons, balanced exactly for his hands and body. If someone were to borrow or steal them, that person would not be able to get the same use out of them.

They're carried in calf sheaths, which makes them easy to conceal, but sometimes tricky to get to. Benson would need even more training to be able to quick draw from those, and some distinctive fighting moves.

And lastly, the names, Mike and Ike, show a bit of whimsy on Benson's part, a precious bit of humor from before he became so emotionally repressed. (The first Avenger story was published in 1939; the candy brand was first sold in 1940.)

Here's a few Avenger reviews from my blog!

[homosexualtransexual]

okay i was thinking about this meme earlier and it really ground my gears bc its like... not true?

like first of all ik this is a little hyperbole and Not Exact but i still wanna talk about it a lil.

so like first of all the concept art i think this is based off is very early when elsa was the villain and looked a lot different to anna and anna looked the same but her silhouette was different

and it does look cool and i do love it but this doesn't fit the direction the film went it so they changed it.

and you wanna know what much later concept art looked like?

kinda exactly like the film. bc the concept art changes. and its the same for other disney films.

here's some tarzan early concept art vs the later ones

the beast looks like a completely different species here than the completely different species he is in the later ones.

and like ik the frozen one is more dramatic of a change but the point is they all change for reasons and so does the plot and the actors and the script and everything changes.

but also like idk if Frozen is the film you wanna go for when you're talking about boring character design. so lets go through elsa and anna's journeys (just frozen 1 bc its 3am and im tired i just can't sleep until i finish this rant).

so the first time we see elsa and anna are at 7 and 5 years old respectively. as you can see, they both wear clothes simmilar to clothes theyre gonna wear later in the film. elsas clothes, hair, and colour scheme are very similar to what she transforms into at the end of let it go: hair braided and a very simple light blue dress. anna's look reflects her at elsa's coronation: a green dress with her hair tied back.

if we look at elsa at her coronation, it's very different from what she wears from the rest of the film. it's still got shades of blue, but they're all much darker and it contains 2 colours she will never wear again in the enterity of the franchise, let alone the film: black and purple. it's also the only time that she wears something that covers her from neck to toe. in addition, her hair is pinned up. to me this represents her repression of her power at the fear that she can't use them or she'll hurt someone or worse: anna.

lets move on to what anna wears at the coronation. its like a final evolution of the same dress she's been wearing the whole time. this shows that she hasn't really had to repress and can continue being her true self at the coronation. im gonna move on quickly because theres something more exciting that happens to anna's look very quickly

SHE'S WEARING A MORE CORMFORTABLE AND SLIGHTLY BLUER VERSION OF ELSA'S CORONATION DRESS! AHHH I LOVE THIS DESIGN SO MUCH EVEN HER HAIR IS DOWN HOW CAN ANYONE HATE THIS FILM'S CHARACTER DESIGN.

okay lemme calm down

its like a tactic when you're finding someone to ask yourself "what what they do?" you put yourself in their shoes and try and see things from their point of view. anyways anna is doing that with her clothes and its might be my favourite costume from the films? she wants to find elsa and help her and isn't scared of elsa even so much that she wants to be her. it's just so good. anyways moving on

THIS iconic masterpiece. what the discourse is all about. like obviously it's less extravagant than the concept art but first of all the details? the snowflakes coming up from the dress? my girl just learned how to make dresses and already made a masterpiece with ICE! but then also this is representing her being someone who she couldn't have been since she was 7! imagine that! having to repress who you are, not being able to explore yourself and your abilities because you're scared it could hurt someone. and if elsa wasn't taught to be scared of her powers she wouldnt have tried to push anna way and freezing her heart and i just went far off topic.

but anyways this is like kinda why i hate this discourse bc yeah the original wouldve looked cooler but cooler doesnt mean better for the film and i also might have a small special interest in frozen who knows

[bcolfanfic]

sorry for your shadow ban nightmare 😦

collected a few random young vet’s thoughts if you’re ok with answering 😊 sorry if you’ve already covered these!

how did they make the decision to get a wedding license as soon as they arrived home? why not wait until they could have a shindig? 🤔

how much did the other guys suspect (besides Curt and Demarcus) that they were a thing before it became official? i can see some of them running a secret pool LOL and trying to catch them out so they can get their winnings 😂

do you see Bucky as gay, bi, whatever?

thankssss ☺️

im out of shadow ban jail so i can finally see this past the word "collect" woo!!!!

benefits ish mostly. esp with them both leaving the military and having to deal with all that paperwork clusterfuckery. is just made more sense to get it legally set in stone that they were spouses asap.

(ik you meant demarco LOL but just typing that out for the sake of post clarity <3). i think blakely is next to know after curt and demarco (ic anyone forgot i said in a diff braindump that when they were in africa bucky was demarco's roomie and gale was blakely's). they mostly hang out in bucky's room and one night blakely gets a lil nosy so he asks demarco if gale's said he has a problem with him or something. demarco is kinda like (: uh (: bc he doesn't wanna out them. but is like ermm no gale likes you fine!!! you know him and bucky, attached at the hip!!

but he's still a lil confused so he ends up kinda cornering gale abt like hey do we have problems or something? i tried to talk to demarco about it and he was bein weird, if there's something we need to talk about lets talk. gale ends up telling him, and suprises him bc he was truly cluless lmfao. bless his heart. bailey and quinn are also in africa at the same time as them. can def see bailey driving quinn up the fuckin wall like LISTEN HEAR ME OUT trying to sell his theory to him and quinn thinks he's being ridiculous and too nosy. till *he* starts watchin them a little more and is like oh. god damnit he's onto something.

3. at least in yv au- bucky is bi and gale realizes after some time that he's just gay/was deeply deeply repressed before said realization.

[rjschoicesstuff]

Most cursed Cas x Gabe art I've ever drawn I think, before book 2 I hc'd that they knew each others as humans and were turned very shortly after each other and obviously it's been debunked but by that point I was so attached to it, I won't let go of it. So I kept it and instead let new backstory stuff from book 2 influence what I already had.

Also am I the only one who's like kinda disappointed their flashback sprites didn't get different looks?? The upside is that I can just come up with something myself lol but still 😔

More backstory stuff after the cut

I'm gonna tryyy to keep this short-ish + nothing is set in stone especially because I still have a few chapters to go because I'm non-vip.

I imagine that Cas didn't grow up in Crimson Beech but moved there to a new foster family when he started his sophomore year of highschool. I imagine Cas was very shy as a human + has been bullied so much at previous schools that he'd just stick to himself and not try and stand out to avoid getting on anyone's radar. While Gabriela even back then was very well-liked and popular. I think they only really got to know each other due to a project they had to do together in one of their classes, after which they kept in touch because they really enjoyed each others company. I think Gabriela has always been someone who likes to be there for those that have a harder time fitting in, but she genuinely enjoyed his company. They develop feelings for each other after a while and eventually become a couple in their junior year. Cas never managed to integrate in her friend group and was even met with some resentment from Gabe's other friends. Never outright bullying but just them not really liking it when she'd bring him along because he'd just cling to her and only speak when spoken to.

The picture would've been taken at homecoming in their senior year and a few weeks later Gabriela's whole family would be murdered and she'd be turned into a vampire and be kept in the Nexus. Her grandma died in the Nexus soon after due to her injuries. The town thinks the whole family died in some kind of very violent robbery. Cas obviously really struggled in the period after that, I also imagine no one ever really bothered to check in with him. He starts skipping school more and more, causing him to be held back and have to redo his senior year the year after. I imagine this year he also gets bullied again and combined with the guilt and anger he feels surrounding Gabriela's 'death' it turns him into a very resentful person.

I'm not sure how they went about it yet because I can see multiple options that I like. But in an attempt to maybe help Gabriela integrate better and accept her vampirism, Cas would get targeted to become a vampire too.

I imagine not a lot of vampires were actually involved in killing Gabriela's family and I do think especially a lot of Clements didn't really agree with what happened but only found out after it happened. Tho I think it's very complicated for some because they have personal experience with her ancestors. But I think due to this she did have a lot of people who took pity and tried to help her integrate. And why Cas was nonetheless excited to become a vampire because most of them didn't have anything to do with killing Gabe's family. Like he didn't turn just for her.

I also always imagined that all vampires have their coven assigned to them after being turned because I hc that some have high prey drives that can't be repressed or it'll just make them unstable around humans. And this is the main thing that determines which coven you'll join. (Ik this got debunked but HDVS) I also hc that vampirism often alters someone's personality to some degree, or amplifies traits that were already there.

While I love the idea of Gabriela doing the first bite during Cas' turning ritual since this is always someone close to the human, I like to stick to the canon here still, I think she refused and stalled up til it was time for the last bite and by which point he was in so much pain he was begging her not to do it (So he was That person she talks about in the church scene in book 1). I think Cas really does look back to it fondly, in a weird way, while to Gabriela it was just horrible and traumatic to hurt him like that + it was implied that too much venom would just kill a human so I think that didn't help lol.

I imagine once Cas was turned, it quickly became clear that he did have a high prey drive and would join the Venandi's. I think this was also the start of what lead up to their break-up because Gabriela was disturbed by the kind of person he was turning into. While Cas was hurt because he sort of viewed this as like her only liking him when he's meek and weak, like (he thinks) he used to be as a human and like she doesn't accept his true self. And all this caused a lot of resentment between the two and is also the reason why they got so awkward when they are asked about who turned who in book 1. (Idk I'd like to go deeper into all that at some point but this is starting to get So Long)

Bonus pic:

She still has a bunch of pictures from back when she was human. And despite how things turned out between her and Cas, she cherishes that picture because it's one of the last pictures where shecwas human and before she lost almost everything she cared about.

Cas would just think it's an embarassing picture and hopes she never shows Ripley. (She will and Ripley loves the picture)

[leslutdepointedulac]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by: @mothmage, @hekateinhell & @desertfangs Thank you my loves 💞

1. How many works do you have on A03? 19 atm but that's about to become a lot more from next month lmao.

2. What’s your total A03 word count? 46,413

3. What fandoms do you write for? The Vampire Chronicles and as of right now, nothing else.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Nothing's Fair in Love and War Drunken Matrimony Lupercalia Experimentations and The Long Road

5. Do you respond to comments? I do, always!! I love responding to comments, it's one of my favourite things about writing fics tbh.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? The way I've had to think about this for too long because several of my fics could fit here. I think I'd say The Long Road because although there is hope (and the knowledge from canon) that things will get better for Louis, but he's still in the depths of his darkness and there's such a long way to go re: his recovery. That or Let Sleeping Lions Lie. (I would've said my siren au, but I think that's more my darkest ending to a fic, as opposed to the angstiest.)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'd say it's either Second Chances or Drunken Matrimony. I think they're also very sweet endings.

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, no that I know of anyway. If anyone is hating on my fics, I don't know about it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do but it's canon compliant, so no actual sex. There's two reasons for that: 1.) because I'm not quite there yet with wanting to write full on smut and 2.) because I genuinely just really enjoy writing canon complaint smut. As much as I really love reading smut, I feel like there should be more fics that embrace and explore the vampire's canon asexuality. It's a part of canon that I really enjoy and think is very important, so I like to bring some of that into my fics too!

Also, when it comes to Louis' character in particular, imo anyway, it's a good insight into him during IWTV. Because even though it's not actual sex, I find it interesting to explore how he might be reluctant to even just share blood in an intimate manner, because of his repression re: his queerness in that time.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I haven't written any crossovers yet and I don't know that I ever will tbh. It's just not something I see myself writing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No, I hope not anyway. I'm not aware of it if that has happened.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I haven't, but if anyone ever wanted to, that would be cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I'd totally be down to if someone wanted to co-write with me one day!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Loustat all day everyday!! (Though Loumand follows extremely close behind.)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Ngl, I always intend on finishing any WIPs I have. Even if it takes me a while, I will always try to complete one if I've already started it.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think just the fact that I'm able to wing it. I don't plan anything when I'm writing. I always have a basic idea as to what I want the fic to be about, but when it comes to actually writing it, I don't plan/draft anything. I just go for it and make it up as I go.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'm trying to improve on making my fics longer. I think I'm slowly getting better, but there's still progress to be made lmao.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I quite like it. I have written some small bits in French but that's using Google translate. (ik, ik. Not overly accurate) I think if the character speaks another language that they would use relatively frequently, then I think it can be quite good to add it in.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I'd like to say TVC, which is technically right, but years ago when I was still in school, I had to do some creative writing for English, and I did write what was basically Crimson Peak fanfic. So depending on how you look at it, it's either Crimson Peak or TVC.

And actually, now I think about it, ever since primary school, I've always based my creative writing for school off things I was into. So on that basis, who knows what my first ever fic was about lmfao. For the sake of this, we'll say it's TVC.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Tbh, I don't know if I have a favourite. All my fics are my babies, and if I try to say just one of them, then I'll just be like "Oh wait actually, what about this one? Oh but I really love this one too!" And it would keep going until I've mentioned all of them, so I can't choose.

It's Hē Seirḗn

Tagging: @cinnamonclove @effyrosemary @deaddovehasbeeneaten @aunteat @butchybats @bubblegum-blackwood no pressure of course 💞

[navarresimp]

ALL NUMBERS FOR GASTON

You do not know what you have brought upon this cursed website

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Genuinely always enjoyed extremely over the top dramatic flamboyant arrogant bastards who get redeemed as a character. I also love that never in the game he is an actual antagonist, he just makes himself very hard to get along with in the first half of the game and makes every fight as a partner extremely frustrating just because you killed a snake before he could once. 10/10 petty behaviour. You actually feel for him when he no longer is crusader captain because you know he's a sucker for attention and cares a lot about how others perceive him. Also spears are genuinely underrated weapons to give to a character. He's the definition of Christian boy guilt. 5 stars most arrogant man in Mikado (alive) would buy again

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Him canonically striking a pose when winning against Merkabah is by far the funniest fucking thing. He would absolutely do that again. I like to think he does that after every battle. He probably does it in front of a mirror sometimes.

Also him being a picky eater evident by his hunter association dialogue. Yes autistic king I get it.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Ik it's not really canon(thank god) as it is like a hallucination by nanashi but like the downright pedo dialogue at the start of the Beach DLC (Ew Ew Ew banana peel banana peel tomato tomato crucify the french boy)

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Faith the unholy Trilogy: make this man experience the religious horrors and see how long he'd survive

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Titanic by Falco (it's about fully giving into decadence and being brave enough to take the fall)

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Massive ego and flamboyancy

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

The insanely scrumptious fanart that people post every now and them. Also everyone unanimously agreeing that he is the worst battle partner and is only good when auto grinding.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

The fandom consists of like 3 people and a bunch of dead shitpost accounts brother there is nothing to criticise when there is nothing to begin with

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

No, I genuinely think he would get very pissed by the way I organise and sometimes forget to pay rent (judging how decked out his family is he would probably be a landlord sympathiser).

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

We are already besties

11. Would you date this character?

HELL NAH

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Most homosexual homo to have ever sexualed but is extremely repressed. Has memorized most of the bible and will drop psalms occasionally (even after killing God it's just that ingrained) Autistic, his first special interest was the bible, but autism wasn't yet invented in 1432 Mikado so everyone thought he was a child blessed by God. Knows how to ride horses, was taught by his father and knows how to cook, taught by his grandmother. After the peace route he discovered a cooking show DVD and rewatches it constantly. Is iron deficient, passed out often during puberty. Has NPD. If he lived in the real world he would be very rude to customer service staff but leave a 100€ tip.

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

Fork emoji

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

Light academia: white and brown hell yeah

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Literally any ship that ships him with an under age character or him and his brother (I can't believe I have to say this)

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

Forget the insanity of angels and the weird time bending shit that went on in Mikado for a minute and Gaston x Jonathan would actually become an interesting narrative of two gay guys who had their gayness repressed by a super religious kingdom and the inherently classist feudal system whose heteronormative structure demands heterosexuality to uphold the godchosen oppressor class and the tragedy of one becoming the very essence of the force that oppresses(angel) and the other bing forced to kill his lover to achieve freedom. Doomed yaoi if you will

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

If the writers knew how to cook they would've utilized the clear parallels they established between Toki and Gaston. Their friendship could've genuinely went hard. It does go hard but only in my head unfortunately.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Bestie behaviour

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

His extravagant speech, that is on the other hand very weird to Google how do you write the past tense of dilly dally

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

There are like 2 fics I love them all

23. Favorite picture of this character?

These two I made I can't decide

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Apollo Justice Lawyersona Shin Megamitourney Acesei

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Genuinely don't remember anything that happened between 2013 and 2018 including my first play through. All I know now is that he is literally me.

[journey-to-the-attic]

I've had this AU in my head for ages but I only just got the nerve to submit it lol (long ask ahead, sorry)

Anyway so basically it's like: what if the brothers' fall goes entirely different. This is half serious and half crack? But basically after falling, instead of ending up in the Devildom they land in the human world, in animal forms. So like Lucifer's a peacock, Mammon's a crow, Levi's a snake, Satan's a cat, Asmo's a rabbit, Beel's one of those big dogs that go boof, Belphie's a fox. (I was going to go demonic animal for all of them, but then Beel would be a fly and Satan would be a unicorn which don't exist, and that's tricky to work with lol)

Basically they can communicate with each other but they can't speak like verbally, they can still do simple magic but no demon form transforming. They're just kinda stuck in animal form for some reason.

Ik sees a tattered crow hopping about by the road on her way home from school. It keeps getting startled by the cars but it's not flying away, and it looks really close to getting hit, which she's worried about. So she tries to shoo it away, and the crow stops and looks at her with these big dark eyes and she can't help but feel like it *understands* her when she tells it that it's dangerous by the road.

Next day the crow is there again, and this time it's staying away from the curb, as if it *listened* to her. And for some reasons he can't stop thinking about it... so the next day she buys a little bag of nuts on the way back, and when she sees the crow by the road again she scatters some of them for it, which it seems to appreciate.

Ik feeds the crow for a week before it's already comfortable enough to hop right up to her and wait for its snack. While she's watching it eat, she'll talk to it. After another week it seems to be *looking forward* to seeing her, because it sits on a tree watching the path she takes and visibly perks up when it spots her coming around the corner, and it seems to listen very intently when she's talking. It's like having a best friend.

Then one day the crow follows her home. Ik waves to it when she goes inside and it's gone by morning. And it isn't there in the usual place after school...

Then she gets home and finds the crow waiting on her doorstep. When it spots her it squawks happily and then calls to something. And then six animals that you would NOT expect a crow to be acquainted with emerge from hiding in a bush nearby. Does that dog have a fox AND a snake on its back? Is that a fucking *peacock*?!

Okay. This is weird and definitely not normal. "Are these your friends?" she asks the crow, as if it understands. Then the crow *nods*.

Basically Ik takes in the animal-brothers and takes care of them as best she can in her little house. (Bonus: cut to Diavolo and Barbatos in the Devildom, extremely panicked and confused about where those fallen angels ended up if they're not here)

I've got more thoughts but I'd like to know what you think first hehee

OOOOO I LIKE IT VERY MUCH!! i agree that this is a very half and half au, so let me think about the serious half for a moment...

if this happens directly after the fall, then there's a lot of interesting dialogue coming from the fact that all that war trauma's very fresh... though potentially, they'll all heal from it a lot more healthily, rather than repressing for centuries on end until a kid who cares too much shows up. this time, the kid who cares too much is right there immediately

i reckon the other brothers, especially lucifer and the twins, would be quite standoffish with ik at first. like, they'll acknowledge her help and be grateful for it, but belphie'll snap if she gets too close and lucifer doesn't like being alone in a room with her. but i think satan would latch onto her company quite quick actually - since he's new to, like, existing, and isn't quite sure how to be around his new brothers

mammon of course has decided ik is his new bestest friend ever. part of it is because his brothers are all very sombre and he doesn't know how to handle grief properly, so he's glad to have someone to just goof off with - part of it's because ik's the first face he saw after landing and he's, like, imprinted

(he did see other humans but none stopped long enough for him to get a look at them, and ik's the first one that approached him in good nature)

ik's main concern is not having a lot of room for all these animals, plus letting them get out. levi doesn't wanna anyway, she can be pretending to walk a dog with beel, mammon can just kinda go fly on his own and will look normal, belphie, asmo and satan won't look that out of place outside - the main issue is lucifer, because peacocks are not a normal sight in urban england

she resorts to waiting until the dead of night so that lucifer can get some air and loses a fair amount of sleep over it, and this is part of the reason lucifer starts warming up to her :')

[my-castles-crumbling]

hello cas! swiftie anon, I was planning on sending this earlier but I've been feeling shitty and wasn't motivated enough to type shit out.

so, I was going to send you a message that everything with volunteering at vacation bible school was fine or whatever. so a little pretext, since me and my brother did check-in, that was only for the first thirty minutes, and after that we just look for things to help out with.

so on thursday we had to walk around and take photos of the kids in the classroom. and I was really uncomfortable with walking in there, and just taking photos. probably my anxiety, but I suck at like, feeling I belong somewhere. anyway, I shoved the phone into my brother's hands and told him to do it. he got kinda mad, since I hadn't taken many of the photos, bc I got nervous.

and I just couldn't really take it. bc something is wrong me me cas. I already knew that. and I thought my brother of all people would understand. so I started crying, which was really embarrassing, and I went to the bathroom to cry. I think I was hyperventilating, and I kept thinking about how there's something wrong with me, and how it's hard to be around me bc of that.

I left the bathroom after a bit bc I think there was a bathroom break for the kids, and I was still crying in the hallway, and it was just really icky. my brother doesn't really get mad, and if he does he usually gets over it in like a few minutes. he said sorry, and told me that he needed to take me home. I said no, bc I didn't want to talk about it with our parents. so I just stayed there and cried in the hallway for a few more minutes, and a few adults saw me (which will be important later). I may or may not have started hyperventilating again, and my brother told me that I needed to leave. My sister asked what was wrong (she was a classroom helper, and it was her break) and I told her I didn't want to talk about it. I left, we went to the library, and I just read there until we had to go pick up my sister at 12. we had a family night at church later that night, and some of the adults that asked if I was okay, and told my mom that I had been crying earlier.

my parents wanted to talk to me about it. and, idk why they thought I would. I don't talk to them about...anything. Actually, I don't really talk to anyone about how I feel, probably bc I'm pretty emotionally repressed. I already know what's wrong with me, and why I react to things the way I do. and then they got kinda mad, like "you'll have to interact with people when you're older." etc. and then they brought up how I didn't have to do a social studies presentation bc I started crying and hyperventilating, and my teacher said I didn't have to do it, and she would just grade my slideshow. my mom said "that's not something you can get away with in high school." and I hate her so fucking much, she acts like everything is my fucking fault and my choice, and that presentation thing wasn't something I "got away with" it just happened. I was going to do it, I just couldn't.

also, I've just kind of, lost my appetite lately, which I forgot to mention in my last message. is it a depression thing? Idk. I usually skip breakfast, but I've skipped lunch the last few days. which, ik is an issue, but i just can't find the motivation to eat, yk? My brother has kind of been forcing me to eat the last few days, so, ig that's a good thing.

so tonight my brother was playing video games with his friends, and came down to dinner late. my parents got so pissed, and we used to have a set time where we had to be down for dinner, or else we got our phones taken away. they've been more lenient these days. anyway my parents asked "what time are you supposed to be down here?" and my brother said "6:30, idk, i'm stupid." and they've called us, him, stupid so many times. they were talking about if they should call him down for dinner, and my dad was like, "idk how he plays video games for so long without being stupid" and idk, I just hate that they expect us to know everything, and I hate them for expecting us to be okay with it.

they never apologize for the things that matter, and I think that they think that they're okay parents. I just really hate them, bc it doesn't feel like they care about us.

idk, this was really long, so that'll be all for now. have a good day/night!

Hi hon!

Okay, the way you're talking about yourself here is bothering me. "Something is wrong with me" like...yes, it seems like you might be depressed/anxious. (loss of appetite is a sign of this) But that's not something to be embarrassed or ashamed of. You deserve support and love. And I am so sorry that it seems like you're not getting it. I'm also so sorry your parents are saying rude things. Remember, you deserve unconditional love.

I'm always here if you need to talk!