#ignore the same outfit as last post although its a different day

[aurorangen]

A few weeks into the last term and Bryce was finally a seasoned member of the Brainiacs! They went to the pub to socialise and everyone was having a good time until someone showed up...

Become a seasoned member of the Brainiacs ✅️

[trainsinanime]

So, for all the Miraculous Ladybug fans who are wondering about that new Zoé character, here is my theory:

Zoé’s last name is Zimmer. She was born in France but grew up in New Jersey. She’s a lesbian, though it took her a while to figure that out. And she’s friends with a teenage girl who is secretly a world-famous superhero: Kamala Khan, aka Ms. Marvel.

[Image description: Comic panel: A girl with blond hair with a red streak dyed into it, telling someone off-screen: “I don’t… I don’t like boys, Josh. I never really have. But they’ve always liked me, so I just sort of… went with the program. I know I was super mean to you a lot when we were going out, but it wasn’t because I thought you were stupid. If anything, I was angry at myself.”]

(Source: Ms. Marvel (2015-2019) #9)

I’m not kidding. Zoe Zimmer (spelled without the accent) is a real Marvel comics character who very much looks like the new Zoé on Miraculous Ladybug - after the latest “Endgame”-style massive crossover shakeup changed her outlook on life anyway; before that, she’s more or less the same as Chloé. 

[Image Description: A comics page, set in a New Jersey Bodega. Zoe comes in, without the red streak in her hair, and asks for her usual. The cashier, Bruno, tells her that this is not a Starbucks and she has to get her coffee herself. Zoe says, “God, I only buy stuff here to top you, because I’m concerned about your economic situation. You should be nice”. Other characters discuss an ongoing party. Then Zoe says to a girl who is wearing a hijab, “Your headscarf is so pretty, Kiki, I love that color”. The girl corrects her and says that her name is Nakia. Zoe ignores that and says, “But I mean… nobody pressured you to start wearing it, right? Your father or somebody? Nobody’s going to, like, honour kill you? I’m just concerned”]

(Source: Ms. Marvel (2014-2015) #1)

The current Ms Marvel comic is easily one of the best of its wave of new titles that came out around 2014; a wave that actually includes several of my all-time favourites, so it’s not like it got that title just handed to it. It’s set in Jersey City and follows Kamala Khan, a pakistani-american muslim teenage girl who can transform into the shapeshifting superhero Ms. Marvel.

In the comic, Zoe appears right from the start, in the page I showed above, and is essentially your standard Chloe, Coredelia Chase or Draco Malfoy character: Rich, arrogant, a bit antagonistic but mostly an annoyance. Her particular deal is that she acts superficially nice, but clearly does not care about the people around her at all, which makes her rather infuriating.

Then Marvel does the super annoying “super important crossover” that they do every five years or so, the kind of weirdly popular stupid shit that movie goers have finally had to endure as well with Endgame. Worlds get rearranged, mini-series get spawned, time gets skipped, Rose Rowell proves she can write Runaways, and we end up basically where we left off, just a few months later with some characters evolved a bit, and Zoe profited the most from that.

[Image description: A comic panel, set inside a crowded high school corridor. A narration box says, “Even Zoe Zimmer is different now. That whole thing with the world almost ending gave her some kind of existential crisis, and now she’s going this what-does-it-all-mean phase.” On the left, Nakia from before is walking, saying, “Morning sleepyhead! Zoe brought caffeine!” In the middle, Zoe is walking, now with red and light blue streaks in her hair and carrying two cups of coffee, saying, “Are you going to gym class? I’m thinking of coming down with sudden flu-like symptoms…”. On the right and in the foreground, a sleep-deprived Kamala Khan is saying “Buhh…”. A final narration box says, “What can I say? It’s like we’re all growing up”]

(Source: Ms. Marvel (2015-2019) #1)

She is now actually nice, making an effort to understand the people around her and, as I said initially, to actually understand herself. And she’s got a red streak in her hair. Initially it’s light blue and red, presumably to honour Ms Marvel, whose color scheme is blue, red and gold - yes, just like Captain Marvel, that’s by design. The artists very quickly settled on only red, though, which means… well, she looks like the new Zoé in Miraculous Ladybug.

And yes, she does get to be a superhero, although in that case that mostly means her and her friends dressing up like Ms. Marvel on their own, with no super-powers.

[Image Description: Comic panel: Zoe, somewhat banged up, wearing a blue mask over her eyes and a long blue shirt with red and yellow details, matching Ms. Marvel’s outfit in this comic. She’s saying, “I’m… s-still here… unless heck looks j-just like Jersey City…”]

(Source: Ms. Marvel (2015-2019) #27)

All in all, it seems like nearly the exact same thing as the new Zoé character in Miraculous Ladybug, just perhaps two years older. Is that just a coincidence?

…yeah, probably. It’s honestly not that creative; both Zoes seem to be the result of similar character archetypes, and Zoe Zimmer isn’t even the only of her kind in Marvel comics. There is a lot of overlap with Karolina Dean, for example, even though Karolina is incredibly good-hearted. At the end of the day, neither Ms. Marvel nor Miraculous Ladybug invented truly new concepts; what makes them unique and fun are the details they add to their well-known frameworks. I’m posting all this only because I think the coincidence is funny and interesting.

Anyway, if you’re into american comics, or want to be, then I can strongly recommend Ms. Marvel (specifically the runs written by G. Willow Wilson). A TV show for Disney+ is also in the works.

And if it turns out that this new Zoé actually is from New Jersey, then I want it known that I friggin’ called it.

[hteragram-x]

It’s a short story about the first encounter between Virgil and Remus in my Firefighter AU. Previous posts about this AU are [HERE] and [HERE].

Word count: 942

Ships: it’s technically Dukexiety, but they’ve just met

TW: fire (nothing dangerous, it’s a small flame from a lighter), mentions of arson

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Virgil was stressed. Also water is wet.

Anyone knowing the young man standing in fr­ont of the firehouse this frosty January morning would be equally surprised by both of these statements.

This time, however, Virgil’s stress was of a slightly different nature. He didn’t even feel bad for internally freaking out. Anyone would be nervous on their first day of work… or potential work, he thought desperately trying to reassure himself and readjusting a pile of documents in his hands for the nth time within the last five minutes.

He was starting to feel really cold. He also really should go inside.

Taking a deep breath and filling his lungs with cool air he finally moved forward purposefully focusing on the wooden door and not the fact that his shoes seemed to be glued to the cracked concrete.

Entering the building solved at least one of his problems. The empty corridor was warm and his fingers tingled slightly at the change of temperature. He looked down at the papers consciously making his grip looser to not crumple the edges. It already didn’t look very presentable. He should have brought some folder. Or at least bring the files inside a bag. There was a dried droplet of water in the corner of the first page. It looked extremely unprofessional. No one would hire him with such poorly kept documents. That will be the worst first impression ever. Or it won’t. He doesn’t have to go for a job interview at all. He may as well go home. They won’t accept him here anyway. Such a waste of time. The firehouse wasn’t far from his flat, but he had to left home so early…

Some noise at the other side of the corridor pulled Virgil out of his swirling untamed thoughts. He took a deep breath looking up at the source of the sound and locked eyes with the weirdest man he’s ever seen in his life.

He wore a green tank top in the shade of green that seemed so toxic that it probably shouldn’t be put anywhere near the human skin and a jacket of an old firefighter suit with cut off sleeves and a bottom part making it look like the most ugly crop top on the planet. To be honest, it was barely “a jacket”. The trousers of the protective suit were intact, but they were entirely covered in small drawings and chaotic writing leaving almost no plain material in sight. The outfit – if the unusual choice of clothes even deserved such a title – was completed with a pair of vaguely reddish fluffy slippers, although the poor lighting in the corridor made it difficult to distinguish between colours.

Virgil gulped noticing the man’s smiling face.

It was not a nice smile. Or rather��� No. It was nice. As in “the guy was handsome”. But creepy. In a attractive way. …What?

“Hello”, he said in a voice that made his greeting sound like a question.

“Yo!”

The man grinned and suddenly his face lit up – quite literally – with a flick of a lighter. This time Virgil noticed neatly styled moustache that somehow hasn’t caught his attention before. The sickly green tank top was very distracting. It seemed to glow in the dark.

“Y-your lighter is a little too close to your moustache”, Virgil said nervously to somehow fill the silence. “It’s nice by the way. Maybe… maybe don’t burn it down?”, he suggested not really sure why he was talking at all. It was almost eight. He should have found the office already. Not waste time on... whatever that was.

The man’s grin became even wider.

Virgil tried his best to smile in return. He probably looked ill.

“Are you one of those firefighters who’s into arson?”, he asked jokingly, eyes fixated on a dancing flame and liquid shadows it cast on the guy’s face. The second the question left his lips he wished to grab the nearest fire extinguisher and inhale its contents. He was not the weirdest person in the room right now, but that comment was just stupid. It’s most likely some outdated stereotype he heard ten years ago and probably should have checked if it’s even true before saying it out loud…

“He is!”, answered a deep voice from one of the rooms ending at least a small part of Virgil’s suffering. The prolonged silence was probably worse than any answer that a stranger could give.

A door next to the weird guy opened revealing another man the same height and with the eerily similar face. He had the exact same features, however, the lack of facial hair made a huge difference. Or maybe the crazy glint in the first man’s eyes made it easier to distinguish between both of them.

The new stranger absentmindedly grabbed a lighter from his twin’s or clone’s – why not? it was already an outlandish interaction – hand, closed it, and put it in a large pocket ignoring the other’s immediate pouting.

“Are you here for a job interview?”, he asked with a nice, polite smile that somehow looked out of place on that face. “I’ll show you the office. This way!”, he gestured towards the stairs previously obscured by an overgrown plan. Virgil followed him without a word, still not really knowing how to react.

Before he fully left the corridor he looked back to glance at the other twin who waved at him with just his fingers and gave him a much more normal smile. Virgil found himself awkwardly waving back and forced himself to focus on his incoming interview.

He couldn’t tell with any amount of certainty if the unexpected encounter made him more or less willing to get the job.

[starbuck]

All of Armitage’s Looks: Rated

Well, this was inevitable, wasn’t it? Being someone who very readily admits to having Armitage’s entire wardrobe memorized (and who will not apologize for how weird that is), I feel that I’m the perfect person to make this post, although perhaps not the most objective...

So, without further ado, allow me to present to you: every single one of Armitage’s Looks in chronological order: Rated.

#1 - Enjoying The Birthday -- 11/10

Unlike most named characters, Armitage does not appear until episode 4 but oh what an entrance it is... Look at that smile!!!! Actually, take an extra good look because you’ll never see it again. 

Outfit-wise, this is just his normal steward uniform but I like those boots. Probably not unique to him but they’re very nice and remind me of a pair I own. 

Bonus points for being the second person on the tackle-pile, following Tozer. 

(You could accuse me of rating too high right off the bat, but look at his smiling face again and tell me I’m wrong.)

#2 - “Mr. Armitage, what do you report?” -- 8/10

And thus we are introduced to Armitage by name. Appropriately, he is partaking in his most consistent character-defining activity: protecting Tozer from harm (which, in this case, is the Not-Bear which has just come out of nowhere and ripped part of Heather’s skull off).

I’m gonna be honest: I don’t like how this style of coat looks when it’s fully buttoned-up. I think it’s awkward and boxy (see Gibson’s coat in the mutiny-planning scene at the beginning of ep 7 for a better idea of what I mean) and this is before Armitage figured out the belt trick that corrects the problem so I’m deducting points for the coat.

Luckily for him though, his hat is of my favorite variety in the show so I’m delighted to see it despite it just being his uniform. Also loving our first look at his blue sweater (peeking out beyond his coat-sleeves) and his gray gloves.

Further points added for this being the first of many scenes where he carries a gun, endlessly confusing the fandom at large about what the hell his job is. 

#3 - tfw You’re Responsible For This -- 5/10

So I’m just gonna come right out and say that this is one of my favorite images of him in the entire show but, just as Look #1 was rated higher due to the context of the scene despite the outfit itself being average, this one’s rating, in turn, must suffer. 

Things I love about this: the hat (obviously), the fact that the coat looks worlds better just because it’s slightly unbuttoned, the delicate dusting of snow, the way his face looks at this angle.

Things I don’t love about this: literally Everything Else.

Aiding in the racist kidnapping of an innocent woman and then not owning up to it twenty minutes after your introduction is not a good look, no matter how emotionally conflicted about it you are.

#4 - Who the Fuck is This Guy? -- 6/10

October 20th, 2019 was not the day that my obsession with Armitage began, but it was the day that I took a screenshot of this exact moment because I had no idea who this man was or why we were getting a close-up of him. It would take me two more months to figure his identity out.

But, to the point, not much to say here since it’s just his normal uniform again except that this is our first proper look at his hair which I absolutely adore. Also loving the little anchor buttons on his jacket - very cute!

Once again, points deducted for the unfortunate context.

#5 - Slops! -- 7/10

This look is noteworthy for a few reasons. First of all, we see his tan slops for the first time! Slops just sort of look horrible by default unfortunately but I’m enjoying the hat + slops combo here... it works for him. Secondly, Armitage disappears for the entirety of episode 5 so this is the first time we’ve seen the man since the lashing scene. I guess it was so traumatic to witness that he had to take a break. 

He has a gun again though, so things can’t be all bad.

#6 - Big Carnivale Hours -- 8/10

I have given up on trying to figure out what the hell is going on with the marines and their costume theme. Are they knights.... with crowns? That’s all I’ve been able to figure. Who’s idea was this? (Despite having no evidence, I blame Pilkington.) So what does that make Armitage? Is he a squire? Or a knight that just doesn’t have a crown like the others because they ran out of them? Whatever the case, he’s clearly a part of their theme despite not being a marine himself which I think is adorable regardless.

Speaking of adorable, let’s just forget everything that happens for the rest of this episode and appreciate how he’s hanging out with Tozer and Heather. Isn’t that nice? God I’m distressed.

Taking a look at the costume itself, you’ll see that it’s essentially a cut-up burlap sack and a sheet over his regular uniform but realism is not the goal here and the DIY vibe is actually quite nice imo.

#7 - Enter: The Belt -- 10/10

The belt has arrived on the scene! Note its success in not only making the coat itself more appealing but making the coat + slops combo work against all odds.

We really get it all here: belt, (unbuttoned) coat, hat, welsh wig, gloves, and slops! What more could I possibly ask for in an outfit? It’s both stylish and practical.

And plus, I like his attitude in this scene - optimistic-leaning realism about the dangers ahead. I can get behind that.

Overall, no complaints from me - this is a perfect look.

#8 - tfw You Allowed This -- 7/10

This is a Significant Look mostly because we see his hair again, for the first time since episode 4! It’s a bit longer and more unkempt but still maintains a pleasing shape overall. Honestly, I think it looks good this way and its a pity we didn’t get to see it more in the transition stages (assuming it was steadily growing out since ep 4 like most people’s). Additionally, there’s a bit of stubble going on here which I respect.

Rated lower than it might be simply because, as has been established, slops on their own are just kinda ugly. I don’t have a lot to work with here outfit-wise. His face is lovely but this screenshot is a sepia-toned nightmare.

A bonus point for his desperate “please explain this clearly illegal thing we’re doing in a way that makes sense to Little” glance at Tozer, who is already on it.

#9 - Agony -- 8/10

It took me awhile, even after becoming aware of who Armitage was, to appreciate how truly miserable he looks in this scene. And I mean, why wouldn’t he be miserable? Tozer, a man who Armitage risked his own life to drag to safety at Carnivale, is about to be executed for something that’s arguably just as much Armitage’s fault and there’s not a thing he can do about it.

So... that’s depressing.

But, looking at the outfit itself, we see that it’s pretty similar to some past Looks. In fact, it’s identical to what he was wearing when the Tuunbaq attacked Heather with the exception of the belt which is, of course, a new addition since then! And look at the difference a belt can make... You almost don’t notice that the coat is buttoned up all the way.

#10 - The Same Outfit But Now He’s Saving Tozer So Its Cooler -- 9/10

Y’all ever think about the fact that, when things went to shit, Armitage’s first instinct was to grab a gun, find Tozer, and rescue him? I mean you probably don’t but I do. Constantly. 

Obviously I love this part and the outfit is still solid (note how well the belt shows off his figure!) but it loses out on being a perfect 10/10 because he must have dropped his hat while picking up the gun so we never see it again. A necessary sacrifice but one that I mourn nonetheless. 

RIP Armitage’s cool hat, ??-1848.

#11 - The Blue Sweater -- 8/10

It’s warming up so that means we finally get a look at the lovely layers that have been hiding under Armitage’s coat. It’s important to me to bring special attention to the sweater because, although (as I’ve mentioned) he has it on all the way back in ep 4, this is one of only two scenes in the entire show where we get a proper look at it. 

Further, not only is he wearing the blue sweater, but he also has a blue vest on over it! Now, I’ll admit, these aren’t exactly complimentary shades of blue but it still works for me. 

Note also that the belt he had around his coat has been repurposed to aid in holding up his slops-pants over his normal pants (which are held up by the suspenders). Does this man’s resourcefulness ever cease?

As much as I’d love to give a higher rating for the blue sweater, I can’t ignore the new beard which is... it isn’t... it’s Not Great. I don’t have as much animosity towards it as I used to but I can’t pretend that I love it.

#12 - Let Us Fly These Deadly Waters! -- 9/10

I’m not sure why but I’ve always found this outfit very appealing. The tan slops-pants go nicely with the white shirt and blue vest. It’s a solid look - I’d wear this irl honestly. 

And bonus points for his trying to convince Tozer to leave Hickey, even though he was ultimately unsuccessful. 

(P.S. - yes, the title for this one is a Moby-Dick reference... Did you really think I would make it through this entire post without one?) 

...and now, last but not least, I present to you my absolute favorite Armitage Look™... all the other times I said some other outfit was my favorite, I was lying because what I am about to show you is truly the cream of the crop. Without further ado:

#13 - Kidnapping is Bad So At Least Look Good Doing It -- 12/10

Are y’all seeing this? Are you SEEING this????? It is episode fucking 10!! Everyone is dying!!! And yet here’s Armitage waltzing up in his best outfit of the entire show. What the fuck!!!!!!! 

Do I even need to explain why this is exceptional? Just look at it! Look at how the vest is buttoned up and tucked into his slops-pants! Look at the suspenders over top which match the slops-pants in color! Look at the gun and keyring that look like they were made to accessorize this outfit specifically! Heck, even his hair and beard look much better from this angle.

Now, I’m not trying to discount the fact that Armitage was absolutely miserable throughout this entire episode, and understandably so, but, even with that in mind, I can’t bring myself to rate this look any lower. It’s just That Perfect.

If one must inevitably die horribly in the arctic, this is an excellent outfit to die in.

__ 

Well, that’s that! Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this! I’m glad that my ridiculous opinions about Armitage’s wardrobe finally came in handy for something other than my own amusement. 

[kaetastic]

VACATION

pairing: Bucky Barnes X Rogers!Reader

summary: Steve Rogers finally decided to take time off, away from his nonstop phone calls and endless meetings that made him pull his hair out. Only this time, he brought his daughter to the lovely holiday. And oh, his best friend tagged too.

word count: 4.5k yeeee

warnings: starter angst, no complete smut, dirty talking

notes: i have so much on my plate lol, my study routine is at least 2 hours a day and although my sleep schedule is not falling out- i demand for more. I AM SOOO SORRY for not posting that much, writers block has seriously done me badly and it hurts.

The flight felt like forever, in the middle of the air with the aeroplane wheezing; passengers asleep, eyes shut tight even though the transportation bounced up and down- hitting faint turbulence that was somehow not noted towards the flyers. Y/N crossed her legs, her arms on the foam-filled armrest of her first-class chair; a luxury she was born with. The spacious pod felt free, not suffocating at all as she could breathe with no one beside her. Although she was free from forced conversations, this could only mean one thing she didn’t like: uncontrollable thoughts that can sometimes lead to unpredictable imaginations. Her fingers drummed a gentle beat like pressing softly onto the keys of a piano, she rested her head onto the glass to admire the dark night, stars painted with glittering highlights.

She caressed the double-framed window, the frigid air from the outside glossed her fingertips. Her fingers ran over the twinkling stars, a frown playing on her lips at the sudden remembrance of her mother’s writing. The story she wrote ever since she met her father. It will never find a conclusion. I wish to hold you, my love, I want to stay with you until you grow old and I shall cripple with age; but my dear, even though you aren’t here, outside with me- I love you. I wish to sing you a different lullaby every night. You will always be my little girl, now I understand why my mother used to stick by me. Dear my love, your father and I are ecstatic waiting for you, although he isn’t patient- every time you would kick me (which really hurts), he would rush in to feel it. Before we even knew of your gender, we had already planned the whole room for you. I don’t know what it was, but I went with a space theme; stars stuck to every inch of the walls and ceilings. Even your crib mobile had the moon and planets; I didn’t force it onto you did I? I’m sorry my love

And the dotted lines that drifted out of the boundary of the paper ended. Its black ink smudged the words that existed above it. That was it. No other words added onto her melancholy part of the story, if it shall be continued- it will never be the same. Whenever she was curious child, she would read the writing on and on; it was like a guide book to her. A tourist pamphlet from her cherished mother. And although she never got the chance to speak to her or be able to brag about the amazingness of her mother, the book was the connection she could faintly have. The bond between her words and Y/N’s heartbeat will always be in sync. The slight clench it gave her will never be the same if someone else was to proceed with the beautiful art her mother had created and crafted with her emotions. That was the ending.

Every time a stewardess or a steward would walk down the aisle, she would just wear a faint smile and a shake of her head when they would ask if she needed their assistance. They would reply with the same gesture before fading away. A sigh escaped her lips. With a bang of her head, it landed on the inflexible seat.

“Psst,” A voice called her, she snapped back; her head whipping up and down the aisle- everyone seemed to be asleep. The only light illuminating was from the galley and those massive screens which shone brightly onto the asleep figures. Clearly too bothered to switch it off. She was not surprised when her eyes landed on Bucky. He looked so freshly awake, not a tint of tire in him. He gestured his hand for her to come to him, she glimpsed at her father who sat on the opposite seat of her aisle, his mouth wide open as faint snores rang out. His nose scrunched. “Come here,” Bucky mouthed, pointing to his seat as an invitation.

Y/N bit her bottom lip in contemplation, she glanced at her father one more time before unbuckling her seatbelt. The click of the metal clashed with the muffled seat, she winced in her head at the volume. She stood up, holding her armrest as a stabilizer, making sure no one was walking down the aisle. Strutting to the designated place, Bucky poked out of his seat; his eyes trained on her as she puts on a show for him. A chuckle left her lips. She plotted onto his lap, legs hanging off the seat and swinging into the aisle. He huffed at the abrupt place of weight on him, a slight wince fell off his lips. She threw her head back, slapping his chest at the exaggerated reaction. 

His arms snaked around her waist, tugging her closer, her hands flat open to rest on his shoulders, “You look so hot in this.” His fingers slyly brushed against her skin, it was freezing like ice. She yelped. Although she created an audible noise, she was quick to realize her mistake. Covering her mouth with a slap of her hand, her eyes widened while Bucky laughed, amused at her expression.

“It’s just a simple shirt.” She reasoned once she had scanned the seats to check if there were any awake witnesses, his laughter died. 

Eyes scanning the clothing, Bucky hummed, yes- it really was. The white shirt had a simple image printed onto it; an eyebrow quirked up, not agreeing with her opinion, “Well, you definitely look fuckable in it.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes, unable to understand his insatiable horniness that can never be satisfied, “I guess I have to say thank you now.” He hummed, nodding curtly as his fingers played with the hem of the shirt, fiddling with the fabric between his fingers. 

Bucky pushed himself back to relax on his seat; his eyes shot up to gaze at her. He leaned in, his mouth hovering over her ears as it occasionally brushes with little contact. Slight frustration roared in her. Eyes fluttered to a shut, she enjoys the warmth that swirled her to thoughts she shouldn’t be having, “You’ll have to be quiet baby,”

The confusion that strikes her sipped away as his hand rested on her clothed sex, his frustratingly slow gestures pressed onto the now wet panties. Her mouth fell open as his fingers traced her inner thighs with languid movements, he nudged a leg to open her legs wide for him. Toes curling whenever his fingers would accidentally brush against her, she grabbed onto his arms as intermittent breathing echoed out of her lips. As soon as his fingers slipped into her pants, his fingers rested above her cunt. A tired groan was heard- too familiar. And with a splat, Y/N met the floor with agony pain rippling through her body, “I’m so sorry babe, I-“ Although he didn’t know the father continued his snooze, Bucky whispered-shouted an apology to the person he just threw off his lap and onto the dirty floor.

Y/N glimpsed at him with anger before scoffing, ignoring the hand he let out for her to grab ahold of. Dusting her knees, she straightened her outfit before stomping away- back to her seat with pursed lips as she held her head high. Bucky could only peek with squinted eyes, holding a sigh of relief when he saw his passed out best friend; the anxiety that crawled in him for what he will get in return later on as karma- did not feel good.

“Finally, I can feel my legs,” Steve grumbled, head thrown back as he groaned out the complaint. The shades he wore tilted back, he narrowed his eyes. The burning and beaming source of the rays burning the whole planet like a flaming furnace.

Y/N exited the car, a duffle bag on her shoulders as her eyes scanned the area she assumed she would be staying in for a few days. The platform above the clear crystal water, that seemed as if it were millions of glittery gems, creaked and cried as every pressure cracked its bones. Petit kids ran around with little care in their heads, a large hat on their heads as a thick layer of sunscreen seemed to be slapped onto their skin. The manager of the area scurried in a hurried manner; the floors yelled. A clipboard in his hands- a string with one end wrapped around a minuscule seashell created the loudest of the noise whenever it would bang into the metal. It would vibrate over the cackling of the seagulls and the gnashing of the ocean waves. The saltiness was obnoxious, at least it was better than staying on a ship that would rock in the water. The puking challenge would’ve last for a second, “Please follow me.”

So they did so, her eyes wouldn’t rest on one area- its relentless movements filled her with fascination at the gobsmacking view of the see-through water. Y/N’s lips fell into an ‘o’. She shrugged her shoulders, adjusting the position of the backpack to rest comfortably; but it just keeps digging and stabbing her shoulder with no mercy. She huffed. 

“Let me help you.” Her shoulders lifted up, feeling it light as a force tugged her bag away. She snapped her head to face the voice who offered her help, he already had his arm looped inside the sling. 

“You don’t have to.” She reasoned, tugging the bag in an attempt to carry it by herself. Halting, Bucky quirked his eyebrows up, the sunglasses he wore shading the icy blue eyes she could get lost in very easily. Giving up easily, she removed the weight off of her with slight reluctant, she pushed the strap to move to his. 

Houses connected its front entrance door to the platform, a small bridge that had been secured by fences that ran along the side for safety. Standing on top of each fence in front of every house was a sign. The wood was supposed to inform those as it displayed the house number. Y/N’s legs ached in agony, although they slept well in a flight like tired babies- it had caused them to throb with pain as soon as they stood up to walk. Even if it was a first-class seat with a supposedly large area for leg movements, the aeroplane still constricted area to go. And all she could remember was anytime a ding rung out, her father would wake up with his eyes shot open- his feet were quick to move, he ran up and down the aisle without uttering a word before plopping back onto his seat.

Finally, they stood in front of their holiday house. They took quick notice of the location, the furthest from the rest. Steve pushed his glasses down, to remove the layer of darkness that glossed over the stunning house that they will be calling home for a few weeks. Bucky hummed as had wore a faint smile, approving at the great choice by his best friend. 

Figures of those who were guiding her disappeared. Pulling away from the cursive view, a frown played on her lips, not comfortable by being alone in an area she didn’t know anything about. Before she entered the house, her hand rested on the doorknob, eyes scanning the sign that laid above the door- 39. Her head tilted to the side, a hum muffling in her mouth. But the idea of exploring the house attracted her more. So she did so. 

Y/N let out a loud huff as she stretched her arms, her back was stabbing her like thousand of needles. The interest in adventuring her room called her even if she just wanted to spring open like a starfish onto the bed. In the corner of the room was a simple desk with a wide mirror- all of its drawers empty. The walls held few framed photos of art she wouldn’t be able to understand- swirls of lines and colourful parallel shapes. Pacing towards her toilet, she pushed the door open. With a creak, the door welcomed her to the next room. A sigh of relief fell off her lips at the realization of the layout, she didn’t even know she was holding it in. She desperately craved for a bath.

That’s how she ended up in the tub, head rested on the sides as she enjoys the eerie swirls of the water. Even with the slightest of movements, echoing of the liquid could be heard throughout the room. It was so silent, quiet and tranquil. Every so often the growing sadness prodded her thoughts, but all she could do was hum a random lyrics with words presented on her head in an attempt to overtake the thoughts. It didn’t work.

“What a sight,” Eyes shot open with trembling shock, her head whipped to the voice that rung from the door. The thumping of her heart calmed as she gently pats it. Although peacefulness eluded from the room, she somehow did not hear the door opening. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. But before she had the chance to utter out the question full of doubts; Bucky beat her to it. “You left the door open, doll.” She wasn’t so surprised, he’d done this so many times- taking any chance he would get.

Pushing the crying door, he swung it- opening and closing it, playing with it (clearly not a toy) like a little child before halting to a stop as the words he always imagined her to say fall off her lips like strings of melody, “Care to join?” And oh boy, he did not miss a second as soon as the beat started; his fingers agile and rapid, unbuttoning his shirt and tugging down his pants. Turning his body to face the tub, his ready posture caused her to quirk her eyebrows at the open ajar door. His lips fell into a rounded ‘o’ at the realization.

With a click, he waddled back before curling his fingers at the side of his boxers; fiddling with it as his eyes rested on her face, watching her as he teased her. And boy did it work. Her eyes didn’t move anywhere else, a shameless act she wasn’t even ashamed of. Y/N’s mouth dried. The semi-hard shaft now hardening, it flicks as it was freed from the suffocation.

“Come on babe, make space for me,” He teased, a proud smirk playing on his lips as he watched her squeeze herself to the front of the bathtub- knees bent to rest on her chest. His eyes ran around her exposed skin before jumping in to join her routine. Hands resting on her hips, he pushed her up so she was hovering over the bed of the bath. Although there was a lot of space for one, to squeeze in two-person was a tight compromisation. A sigh left his lips at the warm water engulfing his body, the feeling of himself sink into her; the tender tight hug of her around him cause him to rest his head back. It hangs over the edge as the bathtub laid a few metres away from the walls. Y/N’s fingers curled around the tub, eyes shut tight as she felt his shaft throb; it poked her cervix. Thoughts ran around his head aimlessly, uncontrollable ideas zapping out of nowhere.

Soft caress rubbed against her shivering back. His calloused fingers prodded her sensitive skin. Although the water was warm, the temperature seemed to be out of balance. Cold air, warm water and the heat pressuring in her created a turmoil. The thought of having him run his fingers around with no pathway only made Y/N excited. Her eyes shut tight at the enjoyment. A low groan echoed from Bucky’s lips. His hands tightened its grip on her skin as she wiggled around, the soft splashing of water that created a loud noise, “Oh- fuck...”

His toes curled. The position she was taking him felt surreal, he was prodding places that felt like heaven. Eyes rested on her back with his fingers wrapped around the back of her neck; stabilizing her as she bounces up and down. Chorus of moans and grunts filled the room with water overflowing out of the container. The two bodies froze. A knock from the door stopped them. 

“Y/N? You okay in there?” Bucky’s hand halted, hovering above her cunt as the voice of his best friend echoed through the crevices of the door. If it wasn’t for Y/N’s reminded to lock the door, god knows what would happen to both of them. She would never want to see that day. 

She realized the lingering moment of silence that her father might’ve found suspicious. Her thoughts jumped from one idea to another, maybe he might be nosy and try to find out? Albeit a mess, her head still managed to squeeze out words, “O-oh! Yes! I’m fine, everything’s okay Dad! I’m peachy!” The assurance fell off her lips quicker than she wanted it to be, her eyes shut tight at the stupid mistake that seemed frantic and panicked.

“Sure? I heard a groan.” The muffled voice of her father seemed to be blurring away as a tender touch pressed onto her clit. Her eyes widened, head snapping down to face the hand that could not be controlled. Even at times like these, the insatiable man could not wait even for a second. Bucky smirked as she whipped her head back to face him, his fingers only brushing over her needy lips languidly and teasingly.

“Yes, I’m sure! It’s nothing really.” The grip she had on the walls of the tub tightened; she tried her best to not grind on his finger, she needed her father to go away first. The teasing fingers of Bucky caressed around the area she desperately needed him at. Although he wished he could carry on to play with her, edging her- he would love to see her try to muffle her moans. He wore a smirk, he tugged his cock out- the erected shaft stood out, poking out of the water as it slanted onto her cunt. He plunged a finger into her. Thanks to the water as lubrication, he had no problem to sink his digits into her with smooth flow. A ragged moan left her lips, her eyes shut tight at the tightness around the digit.

”Are you sure, honey?” Bucky rolled his eyes, tired of hearing his best friend cockblocking him. The frustration exerted force... somewhere else. Irritated, he pumped his fingers in a relentless pace; unbothered by the splashing of water that weighed him down. Her back arched, if only her father wasn’t in front of the door- she could have been undone by now. Knowing how she would react, he wrapped his other hand around her chest, he pulled her back so she would lay flat on his. A breathy sigh left his lips, he could only take a glimpse at his work. In figures of eight, he motioned onto her clit, he grunted as her nails dug into his arm.

“Yes, dad! I am very sure!” Her tone being too angry and furious was laced with frustration. The need of him to stay far away as possible dug into her head.

“Oh, alright, if you need me,” His words seemed to be stretched out, the strings of mumbling sentences bashed against the shield that covered her ears. Her toes curled as Bucky’s fingers rubbed the spot. It’s as if he knew her body as if he studied the areas that make her writhe with the slight touch of his hand. “I’ll be outside.” The soft pacing off footsteps outside the door was relieving.

“Is that all you got?” He raised his eyebrows at the competitive question. Oh, he was about to prove her wrong.

She pulled the doors of the fridge with slight force, the strong attraction between the door and its body seemed stronger than the bonds that brought her life together. She paced back at the abrupt consequence. Shadows of darkness lined the floors and every crevice. The only light illuminating rayed brightly from the opened fridge and the small lamp that sat in the corner of the counter. It watched her as she scanned the levels with hope twinkling in her eyes. But all of it diminished. She pulled away when she couldn’t find the glass of cold water. Nudging the door, she sighs as it emitted a loud splat as soon as it meets the door.

“Looking for somethin’?” Her body jumped at the voice who poked her ears with surprise, her heart thumped harshly. Eyes widened, she rested her hand on her dancing heart, in an attempt to calm it. The brown hair swiped to one side, his arms crossed and his head quirked to the left.

“Jesus Buck! You scared the hell out of me!” He chuckled at her whisper-shout.

“Sorry doll, come here.” With open arms, she narrowed her eyes in suspicion at the almost friendly gesture. Reluctantly, she paced towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist; she laid her head on his soothingly beating heart that was muffled by his skin. She inhaled the enticing scent of him, the cologne he uses still somehow laced into him. The soft fabric of his pyjamas rubbed her cheeks with gentle caresses.

And all the enjoyment died within less than a minute. Although she wished the moment to be pure and innocent, Bucky Barnes does not come with those two assets with clean intention. The throb that slapped her thighs caused her to let out a heavy sigh. Pulling away, she craned her head to glance at the guilty man. It was slightly amusing, to see him with closed eyes and pursed lips in an attempt to hide his expression away.

“You horny man.” Y/N chuckled, slapping his chest lightly. He bit his bottom lips, trying his hardest to prod his thoughts with clean ones; none of imagining her on her knees. It didn’t work. He let out a sigh at the failure.

“I’m sorry okay? It’s hard to not imagine you on your knees.” She rolled her eyes at his horrible excuse.

“This whole holiday will be just us fucking around? What is it? A sex holiday?” Her eyebrows furrowed at the idea. Bucky raised his eyebrows, focused onto the new topic. Somehow, he was interested. “Oh, you.”

Her hand halted in mid-air, hovering above his chest that was ready to beat it. The fingers that wrapped around her wrist stopped her movements. With a smirk, he mumbled, “Who said it isn’t?”

She didn’t understand how she got herself in that position. With her lips moulding into his, loud smacking of lips echoed throughout the open kitchen. There was an attempt to lower the volume. A hand in his pants, rubbing his erected shaft that poked his sleeping boxers; she muffled his groans. Pumping his cock, she noted that one hand wasn’t enough to wrap around his whole dick. The room now filled with pitchy moans as Bucky’s hand slithered into her shirt, fiddling with her erected nipples that were not protected by a bra. He didn’t mind, her with a bra or no bra on; he liked both. The other hand that wrapped around his neck tightened, her chest rubbing into his. Running his hand down, he rested it in her pants, grabbing a handful of her ass cheeks.

Although she was concentrated on satisfying his needs, she couldn’t help but pull away in occasional times. The vein that popped out of his cock laced her fingers. While she was pumping him, he laid back and watched her with lustful eyes. Whenever his fingers would accidentally brush over her slicked cunt, which dripped like a waterfall- she would pull away with her mouth open, breathless moans rining out of her luscious lips. His eyes laid on the cleavage that was displayed to him, her breast resting on his chest. A groan left his lips, he couldn’t help it, it was too much. He couldn’t ignore it even if he wanted to, but why would he? The professional hand around his cock pumped him with passion and all he could do was watch her moan, tits just exposed for him?

Tugging her shirt up, the hem now rested above her breasts. Drool practically ran down his lips as he stared at it with need. As soon as the breezy air that ran out from the open window, the salty scent flowing in drummed on her chest- she let out a breathy moan once again. It rubbed on his chest. Flattening on him. She brushed the slit of his cock, the groans that rung out of his lips were music to her.

All actions were halted as soft dragging of legs on the wooden floorboard muffled into their ears. They pulled away, frozen with eyes widened. Y/N straightened her clothes, pulling down her shirt to cover her bare chest. Bucky cleared his throat in silence as he crossed his arms to look sophisticated. There was no one else in the house with them other than her father. The close proximity that was between them now increased with great number. A faint buzzing of light hummed, the dim light from the hallway shining a small area of the corridor.

“Oh, Bucky, Y/N. You both awake too?” Steve narrowed his eyes from the bright light, groaning at the sudden stabbing of the rays. The shadowed figure of her father stood at the open arch. Yellow rays beamed from his back.

“Same reason as you, Dad.” Bucky hummed, not knowing what to say so he followed his only resort that came to mind (clearly screaming in his head when he tried to play calm outside)- agreeing with her.

“Really? You had a horrible dream of a dragon trying to swallow you whole and you stumbled upon a great wizard who had a long beard?” She stood there confused, lips parted as she tried to think of an answer. Sadly, all she could say was ‘uhuh’. Bucky palmed his face, trying his hardest not to cringe at her chosen answer. “Oh, what a small world? I guess,”

They both leaned on the counter as their eyes rested on his figure, Steve opened the fridge with force once again. Bending down, he scanned for his desired item. He pouted when it wasn’t there. The splat of the attraction between the fridge and its door echoed through the kitchen. “I’ll get going, you two should go back to bed- we have places to be later on,” They nodded, agreeing with slight vigorous movements- a bit too positive with his statement. “Also, I think you just peed your pants Buck.” Steve chuckled, walking out of the kitchen with no thoughts. The remaining two glanced down at his pants. The large splotch of translucent liquid creamed his pants, preferably his groin area. He groaned at the incident. It was the only comfiest pants he brought with him.

tags: @callmebucky-doll @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @usernamesarebitches @iheartsebastianstan

[sinfulwonders]

👀 ~

Alrighty here’s another fic. This one is actually practically done, even though I thought it was a lot less finished. I may polish it up and post it on Ao3 soon, but here it is for now.

Sick

When Shuichi Saihara received a text from Kokichi Ouma one early Saturday morning, he suspected that his plans were ruined for the day…very possibly the entire weekend. As he opened the message, his suspicions were quickly confirmed.

I’m sick! Will you be my nurse? Bring soup…and grape panta.

Shuichi sighed, letting the warmth from his dorm room bed engulf him for just a moment longer before slowly rising to his feet. They both knew that he would say yes. Although Shuichi acted annoyed with Kokichi’s many crazy antics and schemes, it was fairly obvious that Shuichi had a soft spot for the supreme leader. A soft spot that the supreme leader was thrilled to exploit.

Fine. Be there in ten.

 -------

“Shumai! You came to say your goodbyes!”

Shuichi sighed as he entered the room, carrying a single shopping bag, as his eyes fell on the purple eyed menace. The exceedingly pale boy was smiling and waving enthusiastically, like the ghost of some excited child.

“Goodbyes?”

Kokichi nodded seriously, “Yep. Before my deadly illness takes me inevitably. The doctors said I only have hours to live!”

Shuichi groaned, “Are you even sick, Kokichi?” He wouldn’t be surprised if the supreme leader had dragged the detective down just because he wanted a fizzy beverage.

What a waste of time.

Kokichi beamed, “You got me. It was a lie! Supreme leaders don’t get sic-ACK-” Kokichi’s face fell as his speech devolved into a coughing fit, causing Shuichi to immediately kneel at his bedside.

The detective placed a worried hand on the boy’s pallid forehead, “Jeez, Kokichi. You’re buring up. Maybe you should go see Mikan…”

Kokichi whined, “Nooooo. I want Shumai to take care of meeee.”

“Why? My talent isn’t even medical related…”

With that, the supreme leader burst into a fit of almost certainly fake tears, “WAAAH! Shuichi doesn’t like me enough to even take care of me while I’m sick and dying!”

This elicited an eye roll from the detective, as he’d seen this trick so many times before, “Kokichi, you know it’s not that. I just don’t know if I’ll do a good job.”

Kokichi’s tears were suddenly dry, like they never existed at all, as he glanced blankly at the boy, “A good job?”

Shuichi nodded, “Yeah... If you’re really sick, I definitely don’t want you to get worse because of me.”

The detective was taken aback by a spiteful sound.

Kokichi hoarsely cackled at the boy, a malicious grin lining his face, “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! For a detective you really are dumb!” Shuichi frowned as the boy continued, his voice losing its edge slightly, “Shumai is great at taking care of people. That’s why I requested you, over allllll of my other minions! I only allow the best.”

Well that was unexpectedly sweet…

Trying to hide his elated surprise at the praise, Shuichi let out an exasperated sigh, “…Fine.”

The supreme leader squealed and pulled the detective into a quick hug.

“K-Kokichi! You’re g-gonna get me sick…” Shuichi stammered.

“Neeheehee! Perfect, then you’ll have to let me take care of you! Then it’ll just be an endless cycle…one of us sick and one of us well, forever and ever!” Kokichi smiled sweetly as he spoke, but those sweet smiles always were a little off. In this case, there was a mischievous twinkle in his violet eyes. The same eyes that observed Shuichi’s every reaction with a calculating coolness that both fascinated and terrified the detective.

“Kokichi, that honestly sounds horrible.”

The detective noticed that Kokichi’s lip quivered a little, but in a flash it was gone, as it seemed that he decided to go a different emotional direction with his lie.

The boy instead examined his fingernails, looking incredibly bored, “Well I think it sounds romantic. You’d be with each other, taking care of each other, forever…”

Hmm, well that’s an interesting point of view.

Kokichi never ceased to amaze the detective. Once he thought he had a pretty good grasp on how he thought Kokichi would react to something the supreme leader switched it up, flipping the situation on its head. It’s why the detective was absorbed with thoughts of figuring out the enigma that was Kokichi Ouma.

Kokichi snickered, “Of course that could be a lie…Maybe I just want you to be my cute little nurse!”

Shuichi sighed, rolling his eyes at the last comment, “I don’t want you to call me your ‘nurse’, Kokichi. I feel like you’re taking it to a weird place.”

Kokichi smiled devilishly.

Shuichi continued, giving the boy a stern look, “Look, if you want me to take care of you, that’s fine, I’ll take care of you. But I am not gonna let you make this weird, and I am going to try to do a decent job. So rest. I have some over the counter medicine in my bag, so I’ll give you something that should help with the fever. Lay down and I’ll grab you a glass of water.”

Kokichi’s eyes widened, “Wow, you’re so good at this! And so brave, to give a supreme leader commands,” his face darkened, “You may end up regretting it…”

Shuichi ignored Kokichi’s attempt to agitate him and instead pressed a lanky finger on the supreme leader’s forehead, and gently pushed him back to the pillow, “Lay. Down. You’re going to regret if you overdo it just to taunt me.”

Kokichi stayed quiet, his expression now blank, and watched as Shuichi turned to fill a cup with water from the bathroom sink. At least he stayed quiet until a large sneeze erupted from him.

Shuichi quickly returned with water and a couple pills.

Kokichi spoke after releasing a couple hoarse coughs, “Sure hope you aren’t trying to poison me…actually that’s a lie. Put me out of my misery, detective!”

“Shh. I’m not trying to poison you,” Shuichi dropped the pills into the supreme leader’s hand and then watched as he swallowed them, quickly washing them down with water.

Shuichi then handed Kokichi a tissue for his nose, and as the boy wiped his sick face, made his way to the bathroom one more, quietly returning with a damp washcloth.

He placed it gently on the boy’s head, careful to move a few strands of purple tipped hair out of the way first.

“Sleep,” he smiled gently at the boy and then sat down in the supreme leader’s desk chair. He rummaged through the shopping bag and pulled out a small book, beginning to read. The boys sat in silence for a while, with Shuichi glancing up to check on Kokichi every few minutes to make sure he was at least attempting to sleep. He began ignoring the book more and more, eventually just staring at the supreme leader in cautious wonder. That is, until he caught Shuichi staring.

Kokichi gave the boy a mischievous smirk, “Wow you’re super doting Shumai. You are definitely my most eager slave yet!”

Shuichi brushed him off and lazily retorted, “Whatever Kokichi. Anyway I’m definitely not your slave, I’m your nurse-”

As soon as the word accidently slipped out, Shuichi blushed deeply. His heart fluttered in a way that he was not expecting at the thought of being Kokichi’s personal nurse for the day.

What? Don’t think that!

“Hahahaha, man that was easier than I thought-ACHOO!”

Shuichi’s blush faded as he grabbed the box of tissues, and rushed to hand a few to Kokichi.

“-Thanks.”

Shuichi looked down at Kokichi, who was an unusually small boy anyway, but he was surprised how weak he looked. His frail form was shaking slightly, and beads of sweat lined the boy’s head.

“Kokichi, you’re really sick. You need to stop talking and sleep.”

COUGH COUGH COUGH

“Aww you’re no fun Shumai…” Kokichi shot him a weak smile.

Shuichi stood to return to his chair when he felt small fingers wrap around his own. He felt blood rush to his face.

“Will you just talk to me? Read me something until I fall asleep?” Kokichi’s wide eyes were devoid of mischief, just filled with innocence.

Shuichi picked up his book that he had just started, and flipped back to the beginning, gently sitting on the bed next to Kokichi as he did so. He opened his mouth and began to quietly read the words aloud. Before Shuichi had finished reading the first chapter Kokichi had fallen asleep, quietly snoring next to the detective. Shuichi let out a satisfied sigh.

Finally.

He turned to look at the sick boy, noticing how strangely angelic and innocent he looked while he slept. It was strange to Shuichi how absolutely beautiful Kokichi was when he wasn’t trying to make the most grotesque faces humanly possible.

Wait, beautiful? Don’t think that Shuichi!

But it was true, and Shuichi could no longer deny it. Kokichi Ouma was beautiful.

Although no one has any right to be this beautiful while they’re sleeping and sick. It’s just not fair.

“Nngh,” Ouma let out a soft groan as he shifted, his tiny arms wrapping around Shuichi’s waist.

Shit.

Kokichi had an unreasonable amount of strength for a sick person, at least in Shuichi’s eyes, because quickly the detective was helplessly tugged into bed with the supreme leader. Kokichi snuggled into him like he was holding a childhood stuffed animal, and other than the underlying dread that Shuichi felt at the fact that he was almost certainly going to get sick, the detective couldn’t help but melt into the warmth of Kokichi’s arms.

“Shumai…” Kokichi mumbled in his sleep.

Shuichi brushed the hair gently away from Kokichi’s sweaty forward, “Don’t worry. I’m here.”

------

 “Nghhh,” Shuichi groaned as he laid in his bed, wet washcloth resting on his forehead. It seems he had caught the supreme leader’s ‘deadly illness’ after all.

“Don’t worry Shumai! Nurse Kokichi is here to save the day!” Kokichi practically squealed as he plopped on the bed next to Shuichi.

It seems Kokichi had taken what he said about being Shuichi’s personal nurse very seriously. When Shuichi had called out sick from school, Kokichi had taken it upon himself to gather supplies and break into his dorm room wearing a full on nurse outfit.

[lemoncakepanda]

Top 50 NaLu Anime Moments {Pt 1}

And thus we get back to me fangirling over my favorite NaLu moments once again, only this time we do it based on the anime-only moments, which covers: canon, filler, movies and ovas. 100 year quest is not included bc it hasn’t been animated (yet) and it’s still fairly early in the story to start listing my fave moments, so we’ll just cover these I mentioned. If you’re not up to date with the anime, I recommend you skip this list.

Originally, I was just going to do 30 moments, but the list kept getting bigger and so on, and here we are. So I’ll post from least favorite to, well, most favorite, and will divide the list in 5 posts. In this first one, I’ll list my fave moments from 50 till 41.

Warning: lots of gushing and fangirling over a beautiful ship. also, a few moments will be differently placed on this list contrary to where they ranked before (some may be higher and some may be lower) and that’s due to the fact that some of them were better in the manga, whereas some were better in the anime, and some of them are lower simply bc dragon cry exists. so, here we go,

50. “Hang out with me a little longer.” (Ep 125).

We starting off with a filler moment, and you may wonder why it’s so low, since it’s such a cute moment. One, it’s filler. Two, it made into the list, which is already saying something. There’s many great NaLu moments, and they have a lot of scenes together, so choosing only 50 moments was hard enough, so no judging the rankings, kay? It’s the only scene ever where Natsu and Lucy are dancing, so I couldn’t leave it out. It’s such a great moment because, especially at first, Lucy hardly initiated the NaLu moments, and this was post Tenrou, which is known for its NaLu amazing-ness and where the ship truly start to develop, so to see Lucy grab Natsu’s hands even though he “ruined” what she thought would be a romantic moment, and just pull him in for dancing, was actually really sweet, especially at the sound of “Glitter” which is a great song. Also, it’s easy to miss, but Natsu is blushing when she pulls him to her so they can dance, which made the scene extra cute. Let’s ignore the fact that he probably puked on her next, lol.

49. Lucy stops Natsu in Edolas. (Ep 82).

Does anyone else find amazing the fact that Lucy can calm down Natsu and talk him out of so many fights? Natsu Dragneel, the guy who storms into fighting without a second thought? Because I do. And this moment here is no different. Back when I was watching this, I had no idea where we were going with NaLu as a ship, esp bc I knew Lisanna was coming back this arc, so it was nice to see them having moments like this, where you can see Lucy’s affect on Natsu, the way she calms him down, even when she’s upset too, like you can see on the photo. Also, a back hug, which is a total NaLu thing, so it’s a must on this list.

48. “That was dangerous. Thanks, Lucy.” (Ep 59).

BLUSHING LUCY IS SO CUTE! Srsly, though, I love seeing her blush over Natsu, especially so early in the series. I headcanon that she had a little crush on him around this time, but didn’t know how to deal with it, so she just buried it, but moments like these would happen, and it would slip out. Also, the matching outfits are a plus! I don’t have much to say about this moment, other than it’s hard to show this photo to someone and have them explain how could this be platonic in any way. I mean, they’re friends, ain’t nobody denying it, but it’s not just that.

47. Original Team Natsu is formed. (Ep 3).

Time to travel a bit back in time, back to when I didn’t even ship NaLu, and they certainly did not have romantic feelings for one another, but it’s still a pretty special moment, and that’s when Original Team Natsu, which consisted of Natsu, Lucy and Happy, was formed. I love how in sync they were with each other since the beginning; they certainly had immediate chemistry with one another, even when they were still getting to know each other. Gotta add this one, bc, where would we be if the Everlue mission never came in about? If they never needed a blonde? I mean, Natsu would probably choose Lucy anyway, but this was very essential to the building of their friendship, as it also opened the door for them to start spending time together.

46. Natsu saves Lucy from Zash. (Fairy Tail: Dragon Cry).

And from one jump in time, to something more recent, and where Natsu and Lucy are 100% the ship we love, which would usually not be so low on the list, but God, there are so many moments that weight more, especially on the emotional side, for me. This moment I feel it’s important to point out bc we all know nothing good was about to happen to Lucy, and Natsu once again comes through to save her, to make up for the fact that he almost hurt her, and he just burts in yelling “Give Lucy back!” and just wrecking in everything and punching that creep in the face. And he still picks Lucy up in his arms and is all flirty with her and starts sniffing her. Also, for someone who complains about Lucy’s weight, he sure doesn’t mind holding her like this, does he?

45. Lucy and Natsu falling from the waterfall. (Ep 59).

For those of you who don’t know, I feel it’s fair to point out Orácion Seis is my least favorite FT arc (yes, I know Alvarez exists, but at least it’s entertaining), and the only thing I really liked about it was Jerza, Wendy’s introduction, and, well, the moments with Natsu and Lucy, individually and together. I wanted to bring this moment in because it’s always nice to see Lucy being the one to save Natsu, but also because it shows how their relationship is slowly but surely progressing; before, every time he got motion sickness, she’d tell him to snap out of it or just call him pathetic. And then, somewhere along the way, she stopped finding it ridiculous. As we can see on this moment, I think for the first time, she’s so worried about him and goes on to save him even when she’s all banged up too, and she risks her life to protect him, even when he’s about to be sick right at her chest. She doesn’t ridiculize him, she doesn’t roll her eyes at him, nor ignores him, she steps in to save him because she already cares about him so much. It was a nice development in their relationship, and I’m very grateful for this moment. It’s always nice to see NaLu being reckless together.

44. End of the Starry Sky arc. (Ep 150).

And whereas in one we had Lucy jumping from a waterfall grabbing onto Natsu for dear life to protect him, here we have Natsu straight up jumping at the sky to save Lucy from falling to her death (again), with a beautiful scenery, with all the stars falling, nice background music, and, after the long roller-coaster arc we had, ending it this way, with Lucy giving Natsu one of her sweetest smiles after he catches her and then throws himself on the ground as they fall so she doesn’t get hurt, gave such a warm feeling to my heart. The nice reminder that although Lucy had lost all of her family (Layla, Jude and Michelle), she still had a family right there in him, in everyone else at Fairy Tail, and they would always be there to catch her. 

43. The “almost kiss”. (Ep 219).

While I’m sure we all knew there was no way Lucy and Natsu would be kissing in the middle of the anime, and certainly not in an omake, it was very entertaning to see how they both would react to the suggestion of doing so, which resulted in: Natsu was all okay going for it, and Lucy became a flustered mess. I like how the anime added her heart speeding up when Natsu came closer, right before she pulled Happy to the middle. And can we talk about how Natsu just went for that kiss, though? He didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest. Oh, if only Lucy wasn’t so shy! But it’s okay, I’m sure it’ll be even better when it actually happens in the actual story. Also, kudos to little Asuka, the mvp, speaking for us NaLus and trying to make dreams come true right there, lol.

42. “We can’t let it end here.” (Ep 122).

A small addition the anime made for the scene where they’re all getting ready to defend themselves from Acnologia, during Tenrou Island, which was very much appreciated. To see once again how Natsu knows exactly how to comfort Lucy, how he gives her hope, how they become stronger together, and have so much trust between them. Also, holding hands, which is always welcomed. They could have shown Natsu comforting anyone else, literally, it could have been anyone else from the guild who felt hopeless, just like they could have had anyone else comfort Lucy and give her hope. But, for this situation, who better than these two? They do so much for each other. Moments like these, filler or not, showcase how important they are for one another and the affect they have on each other. It could be their very last moments of their lives, and they were spending it with one another. Simply amazing and very touching.

41. Last moments before the war. (Ep 291).

Yup, I love this moment. I love how Natsu knows war’s gonna break out the next day (it happens on the same night but only bc Zeref is extra like that), and he goes to spend his last peaceful night at his favorite place, with his two favorite people, Lucy and Happy. I also like the talk they had and how Natsu explained himself to her, about how he loved fighting, but he didn’t like hurting/killing, and he only wanted to protect his guild. In moments like this, you can see Lucy look at him like that, like she’s thinking, yup, that’s why I love him so much. And when he says stuff like that, I think she can’t help admiring him even more. And this is the moment that opens the “let’s talk of the future” thing between NaLu, which has a nice conclusion by the end of this arc, which I’m sure you all know what is, and I’ll bring this moment back, but we’re still far from it. Anyways, a great moment because, even though it’s little, you can see how close they are with one another, and after spending one year apart, they’re more than happy to stay with each other for their last peaceful night too bad it gets interrupted huh.

Part 2 will be posted tomorrow!

[kimarchive]

“keep it moving” | lil’ kim by mtv news, 2003.

"I'm locked in a five-year contract with [Kim]," said Cease, who's signed as a solo artist to Queen Bee Records. Other than albums that Kim herself has recorded, Cease's poor-selling but critically acclaimed 1999 solo debut, The Wonderful World of Cease A Leo, is the only release to come from the Queen Bee Records imprint since it was founded in 1998.

-- by Shaheem Reid, with additional reporting by Sway Calloway, Jeff Cornell and Quddus Phillipe Kimberly Jones is dying to go Hollywood, but some people are hissing that she already has. She definitely isn't the same 'round-the-way girl the Notorious B.I.G. introduced us to in 1995. Little Ms. Jones has estranged herself from old ideals and friends from her 'hood that she once considered family. She's got a fresh attitude to go with her new set of Hollywood and high-society buddies and associates, people such as Hugh Hefner, Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Don King, Donatella Versace and Victoria Gotti.

Kimberly doesn't even look the same — she switches hairstyles almost as often as she changes rhyme flows. Plus she's got a new surgically altered nose to go with her voluptuous, augmented breasts. "When I decided to finally do that is when I realized I was a sex symbol," she has said about her implants. "It's something that I felt would make me have more fun with my photo shoots and enhance my look a little bit." But going Hollywood for Kim really means just that: She wants to make movies. Her dreams have nothing to do with forgetting where she came from, or — as they might say in her native Bedford Stuyvesant neighborhood — "acting brand new." Kim maintains she's the same Brooklyn girl at heart: feisty, focused and determined not to fail. Like Will Smith and, more recently, Queen Latifah, rap's Queen Bee wants to make it big in Tinsletown. Yeah, she's appeared in such flicks as "Juwanna Mann" (2002) and "Zoolander" (2001), but Kim knows she's capable of bigger roles and more explosive performances. "Being involved in different entities of the game is so much fun 'cause you don't just get stuck in one genre," she explained. "I like to be here and there. My personality and my character are versatile." But unlike the aforementioned rap legends, she still wants to keep the music industry buzzing about her material. "That's one thing I don't like," Kim said, referring to how some of her fellow MCs' music careers suffered as their movie careers took off. "Will [Smith] was doing it at one point. Regular rappers were trying to [sell] five million [albums] and he was doing seven million, with flicks out that were doing $50 million a week. That's the type of success I want to follow. I think what happens is that the rappers [who] have success in Hollywood kinda start ignoring their music. I don't think it matters to them anymore. I ain't gonna front, [if] you're getting $20 to 25 million a film ... even $10 million a film is enough to make you say, 'I don't have to do an album this year.' [But] I wouldn't do that." And that's no Hollywood talk, either. Kim not only has a movie called "Guns and Roses" due out this summer, she has a new LP, La Bella Mafia, in stores now. Named La Bella Mafia after a 1997 made-for-TV movie, "Bella Mafia," in which widows of mob figures take over the family business, this LP has been heralded as Kim's best work since her trailblazing 1996 solo debut, Hard Core. On Mafia, she runs away from the syrupy melodies and hooks that hampered 2000's Notorious K.I.M.'s "How Many Licks" and "I'm Human," which seemed to pander to radio and dancefloors. Kim's latest opus is a return to the streets, where she enlists such sound-shapers as the always-unpredictable Swizz Beatz, Scott Storch, who has co-produced some of Dr. Dre's classic jeep thumpers, and Mobb Deep's master of morose tracks, Havoc.

"She's a star, [and] people respect stars," said Havoc, who first worked with Kim on Mobb Deep's remix to "Quiet Storm." "She's smart, and most of the decisions she makes are good musically. She's among the top people in the game, and she's better than a lot of [guys]. You don't have a choice but to give her that respect." "I think she's on top of the game," concurred Queen Latifah, who recorded with Kim on the soundtrack for the Academy Award-winning film "Chicago." "I just bought her album the other day and I love it. I think it's [about] her growing up. She still ballsy, and she's still gonna pop junk to any other female rapper out there, but I like where she is right now. I like to see her in control of where she wants to go. I'm proud of her." And while Kim loves the praise she's received from her peers and fans, she feels things could still be a lot better. Although Mafia put her on pace to equal or surpass the numbers she posted with her biggest selling LP, the double platinum Hard Core (despite its lukewarm reception, Notorious K.I.M. still sold over a million copies as well), Kim wasn't pleased with La Bella Mafia's first-week sales of close to 167,000 copies. "A lot of people say 'Kim is up there,' " the Queen Bee lamented, "but I don't feel that I'm up there 'cause I haven't accomplished my goal yet, which is to sell 10 million records of one album. Imagine what people will say when I reach that point." One thing people do talk about is how long it takes Kim to churn out albums. There was a four-year gap between the first two records, and even with the widely heralded Trackmasters and the spirit of Mafia co-executive producer B.I.G. fueling this album's beats and rhymes, it took years to make as well.

"It's kind of hard because I like to take my time to make things perfect," Kim said, explaining why she always has such a long gap between projects. "I went into this album thinking, 'I'm just going to have fun with it.' I said, 'I'm going to do what I want to do. Let me do this the way I feel B.I.G would have wanted me to do this.' He's the one that taught me everything I know, and he tells me things still. That's why B.I.G is listed as the co-executive producer on my album. It's just me and him." What also slows down production is the fact that you just can't keep the black Erica Kane locked in the studio for too long. She's got her manicured hands dipped in far too many projects to be getting stuck in a sound booth all night. For one thing, she's got a new clothing line, Hollyhood, still in development, with a launch tentatively planned for the fall. A true fashion aficionado, Kim's wild outfits, trend-setting hairdos and modeling stints for Mac and Candies and have given her a strong presence in the fashion world. Hobnobbing with clothing kingpins with last names like Prada, Versace and Armani have only strengthened her cause. "When she did 'Guns and Roses,' she was on the mark," LisaRaye said of Kim's spin as Chastity, the vixen of the bunch. In addition to the movie, the two worked together on a song for the film's soundtrack. "We filmed that movie in 18 days, so you know how quick and steady the flow was," she continued. "She was actually excellent." "It was fun," Kim said with a grin. "It's like a female 'Young Guns.' Us five females, we're like sisters. When we all got together it was nothing but love. For the most part, we were all sisters on that set — we all had each other's back. I like to surround myself with good people — positive people committed to their work." 

And make no mistake — if you're not committed to Kim, you can't be down. At her album release party a few weeks ago, celebrities such as Dave Chappelle, Mobb Deep, Jagged Edge and Wayne Wonder came out to one of Manhattan's newest hot spots, the Lobby, all ready to hail the Queen. Conspicuously absent were Kim's longtime running mates, Lil' Cease and the rest of the Junior M.A.F.I.A. Kim and the J.M., all friends and protégés of Biggie's, had been virtually inseparable since they were introduced back in 1995. The originally nine-member crew appeared on classic songs together, put out a gold album and performed at countless shows nationwide. When B.I.G. died, they leaned on each other during their collective time of mourning, and his memory was the glue that held them all together. And the bond was deep. When Kim went solo, she looked out for her boys as their careers stagnated. If they needed money, she hit them off. If one of her guys got in trouble with the law, as Larceny and Cease were known to do on a few occasions, Kim, the perennial mother figure, always bailed them out. At one point, the clique was so close that they all lived together in Kim's New Jersey mansion. But since then, the group's relationship has soured, and the Queen Bee has had to literally clean house. "Well, you have to move on and you have to grow," Kim said, visibly holding back venom and opting to give a more politically correct answer as to why she no longer associates with Cease and Co. "You can't be taken advantage of for too long, and it's a case where unfortunately, [the relationship] just went bad. In the same sense, I hope they do well and [that] they can find God in their hearts." On La Bella Mafia's "Heavenly Father," however, Kim's a little less restrained. She raps, "And was it enough that I split 20 percent of what I make?/ Was it enough that I cut n----s half of what I bake?" 

Lil' Cease is just as angry with Kim these days as she is with him. His biggest beef with her is not that she cut him off — it's that she won't let him go. He's so miffed at his onetime homegirl that he's started a "Free Cease A Leo" T-shirt campaign.

"I'm locked in a five-year contract with [Kim]," said Cease, who's signed as a solo artist to Queen Bee Records. Other than albums that Kim herself has recorded, Cease's poor-selling but critically acclaimed 1999 solo debut, The Wonderful World of Cease A Leo, is the only release to come from the Queen Bee Records imprint since it was founded in 1998.

"She's putting all this stuff out like she's not messing with me right now," Biggie's puffy-cheeked former best friend fumed. "I feel like if you [are] not messing with me, give me walking papers so I can do me. We had our differences [and] I thought we could patch them up, but honey is doing her thing. I'm not knocking her, but she still got me under paperwork. [I've] been trying to get in touch with her, [but] she's ducking me. I call the office, [but] she don't want to talk to me. I go to the office [and] I can't see her."

"There's a lot of truth to what Cease was saying," Kim retorted with a snarl before clamming up. "I don't really want to get into that. The only thing I'm concerned with is La Bella Mafia being in stores. The whole truth will come out later and I can't wait." Although Kim is being clandestine and won't say exactly when her and the Mafia started to fall out, she is more than willing to reveal when her relationship with her former manager, mentor, friend and Notorious K.I.M.'s executive producer P. Diddy went south. "I can honestly say that during the whole process of [making Notorious K.I.M.], Puff and I were like a brother and a sister arguing," said the 26-year-old. "One minute we'd be the best of friends, and then the next minute things weren't working out at all," Kim said. "Sometimes Puffy likes people to do whatever he says. I'm a creative person, an entertainer. I'm a boss lady. A lot of times when you [are] working with a boss man, you have to respect each other's opinion. I just wanted my respect and because I was young and female, I don't think he gave it to me fully." "I'm a hard coach from beginning to end," Diddy said unapologetically about his meticulous work ethic. "I'mma push an artist to [be] the best. Some artists feel [like], 'I've grown up, and I don't want you to push me this hard no more.' I can't really do that. I'm not crazy or anything, I just want to be the best. We gotta be the best every time." Kim said she was also hurt because when times got tough for her after Notorious K.I.M. received mixed reactions, Diddy abandoned her. "I loved Puffy with all my heart, [and] if you look back, I was the only one supporting him. [At the time we were making my album] I wasn't even signed to Bad Boy," she vented. "During those times I held his hands, like, 'I know these people hate you right now, but I'm with you, dawg.' Puffy can be very selfish. I had to let him go do him and I had to go do me. I needed people at that time that was going to support me 150 percent. I was only getting 50 percent. Unfortunately, I don't speak to him at all."

P. Diddy, who seems indifferent about the split, offers a simpler explanation: "I think it's [about] people outgrowing each other and people wanting different things." While Kim hasn't cut off all her old friends, she has been gravitating toward a new crowd on the road to becoming a better-rounded person. One of her biggest cheerleaders now is Victoria Gotti, a multimedia personality and the daughter of late mob boss John Gotti. The two met over a year ago at an event in New Jersey and have built a nurturing relationship. They've done their share of partying and have at least one big adventure in common: The line-slinging siren recently held her buddy to a long-standing promise to appear in one of her videos. In February, the pair braved the bitter cold to shoot the unreleased clip for Kim's song "I Came Back For You" in front of the Brooklyn Bridge. Gotti says she'd do anything for her homie. "It's weird because she's everything she is onstage and nothing like her [persona]," Gotti said, describing why such a diverse group of people show Kim love. "She is a chameleon. She can just rise to [any] occasion and fit whatever mood everybody's in. That's the one thing I adore about Kim, [and] that's the first thing that shines through. Forget her looks, forget her outrageous outfits — she's got personality that's second to none." And what Kim's hoping for is that soon, her success in all fields will be second to none. Even as her fan base broadens, she maintains that she'll never forget the gig that first put her on to all the other opportunities. In fact, she is as hungry as ever to stand out and rock the mic.  "I don't ever worry about competition," she says confidently in regards to her fellow female rappers. "I do a totally different thing from all these females. Everybody feels that 'I have to be at the top.' We can all be at the top selling records. There is no 'I'm better.' I know I'm a Queen and I do what I do.' "

    And what she is doing is everything.

[verai-marcel]

Can I request a fic where low honor Arthur is exceptionally touchy with the reader all day and eventually takes her, hard, in a public or semi-public place? I loveeee your neighbor AU

Mail For You (RDR2 Fanfic, Arthur x Fem!Reader, 18+ ONLY)

Summary: You work at a small town post office, and when you’re not stuck in the office sorting mail, you’re a mail carrier, a job you take great pride in. Lately, a man has been coming by every day to pick up mail for Tacitus Kilgore. You’ve tried to ignore him, but his efforts at small talk are charming. Then he offers to accompany you on one of your routes, claiming to want to protect you from thieves. Will you accept?

Author’s Notes: OF COURSE YOU’LL ACCEPT, YOU HORNY READER. (To be fair, I would too. *waggles eyebrows*) This was a lovely request from tumblr user @brightredheart77!

Tags: seduction, touchy Arthur, low honor Arthur, smut, semi-public sex

AO3 Link is here!

——————–

“Good morning!” you said cheerfully as the door opened. But your bright smile faltered slightly when you saw the tall, well-armed man walk inside. For the past couple of weeks, he had been coming by to pick up mail for a Tacitus Kilgore; you highly doubted that the mail was for him, as it came from a variety of places and clearly from all different kinds of people. But you didn’t question it; they were all clearly addressed to the same person and the same place, and asking more questions would probably bring you more trouble than it was worth. You went towards the shelves to look for his mail, pulled out a small pile, and turned back to hand it to the man. But then you heard your name being called from the back office.

“Yeah?” you hollered back.

Your boss came out from around the back, taking the pile of letters from you and handing you a large shoulder pack.

“Could you take the buggy to deliver a couple packages and get these delivered today? Our usual boy couldn’t make it.”

“Sure,” you said, taking the heavy pack and slinging it over your shoulders.

“Yer just gonna let the lady go out on her own like that?”

Both you and your boss looked at the man, this ‘Tacitus’, in surprise.

“Why, yes,” your boss answered matter-of-factly. “She’s done it before, she’s perfectly capable, and it’s only a few hours of travel. She’ll be back before sundown.” He handed the man his mail. “Those are for you, sir.”

‘Tacitus’ took his mail and nodded, but then he followed you out the door.

“Hey, why don’t I follow you out there, make sure you don’t get robbed. Or worse.”

You turned to look at him. You took in his outfit, covered with the dust of the open road: a worn gambler’s hat, black ranch pants, a black collared shirt with suspenders, and dirty boots. He had a couple day’s worth of beard and glancing at all of the guns on his person, he looked rather unsavory. He looked like the kind of man who would rob you.

“I can handle myself,” you said, though you really wanted to ask him why should you trust him.

He stepped closer to you, invading your personal space. You looked up at him, intending to tell him to step off, but then you were caught by his eyes; they were the color of a gemstone you had seen a few months ago that had caught your attention when you were browsing the street market in St. Denis. The seller had called it an apatite gemstone, and because of its softness, most jewelers didn’t value it. You bought it and had him make a pendant for you, partially because it was cheap, partially because you loved the color.

“I’m not sayin’ you ain’t capable, but goin’ alone ain’t safe for anyone, man or woman.” 

His voice brought you out of your reverie. You blinked and glared back at him. If he was trying to intimidate you with his size, it wasn’t working, because you were, as your boss liked to tease, an amazon of a woman.

“Surely you’re not doing this out of the kindness of your heart,” you retorted.

“Maybe I’ve got a bit of kindness just for you,” he replied smoothly. 

Stumbling for a reply, you were caught off guard by his charming answer. You clearly weren’t going to get rid of him easily. And he had a point. It was easier to focus on either driving or shooting if one didn’t have to do both at the same time. 

“Fine,” you relented. “But I’m shotgun. You drive.”

***

You had thought that having him drive would mean his hands would be occupied. But he was a seasoned driver, managing the horse with just one hand. Which meant his other hand was constantly on you in some fashion.

“Just makin’ sure I can pull you to safety if I need to,” he would say.

But you couldn’t deny the heat that suffused your body wherever he touched. At first he had not-so-subtly put his arm on the back of the seat, his fingers grazing your side ever so lightly. You didn’t pull away; you couldn’t even move, really. If you moved away from him, you’d be leaning into his touch. If you moved away from his hand, you’d be closer to his body. 

With each stop you made to drop off the mail, he’d quietly take a little more of the seat, forcing you to either sit closer to him, or perch at the edge of the seat. There was nowhere to go.

He must have known you were trapped; after all, he put you there. So his fingers traced circles on your shoulder blade, slid down the gentle curve of your body until he could grip your hips and slowly pull you towards him. Like being pulled down into quicksand, you were being drawn closer to him as his legs shifted closer to yours, as he slid his hand over your shoulder and leaned you against his.

At the next stop, you walked over to the other side of the buggy. He raised an eyebrow at you, but held his hand out to help you up. Ignoring it, you climbed into the driver’s seat and took the reins from him. 

“You hold a weapon for a bit,” you said tersely.

So of course, he pulled out a revolver, so he could keep one hand on you.

“Get your rifle out,” you ordered.

He smiled. “Of course, whatever you say.” He swapped weapons, but his leg was still right up against yours as you continued your route.

***

“That’s the last one,” you said as you walked back to the buggy after delivering the last two letters. You climbed into shotgun and your temporary partner started driving the buggy towards the office.

“I thought you wanted me to shoot.”

“I’m probably a better shot than you,” you replied simply. Of all the post office workers, you were the best shot, proven after a contest when a former mail worker had questioned your abilities.

“Oh?”

You looked at the man. He was looking at you, intrigued. And there was something in his eyes that made your body burn. You had to look away from him, gripping your rifle and pretending to scan the horizon instead.

But then you saw something.

“We got company,” you mumbled as you got your rifle up. ‘Tacitus’ looked around you and saw the three men of horseback, guns out, clearly making a beeline for your buggy filled with mail and packages to bring back to the post office.

“Shit,” he muttered as he drove the carriage faster and pulled out a revolver.

“Just drive,” you ordered, and you lined up your sights.

You let out a breath as you pulled the trigger.

A man fell from his horse.

Then the bullets started whizzing past you as you lined up another shot, breathed out, and fired.

Another man fell. Just one more.

He was getting closer.

You winced as a bullet grazed your arm, but kept your aim steady and true.

Breathe out. Pull the trigger.

Last man down.

You sat back down, taking a few deep breaths as the adrenaline left your body.

“That was some mighty fine shootin’.”

You glanced over at him; his eyes were shining with true admiration. You very rarely saw that in a man, especially from one his age.

“Thank you,” you said, feeling shy all of a sudden.

His free hand touched your arm. “You got bandages?”

You reached in the back of the carriage and pulled out a small box. It had some gauze and a bottle of iodine.

“First aid kit, made it after the first run in with bandits,” you said with a bit of pride.

‘Tacitus’ eyed you while you took off your autumn jacket and tossed it in the back. You rolled up your sleeve, and despite the blood staining the fabric, the wound itself was minor. It was just a light graze; you were grateful that your jacket and shirt took most of the damage, although that meant you’d have to sew it up later.

He handed the reins to you as he took care of your arm. Expertly bandaged, you admired his handiwork. 

“Not bad,” you mused.

“Let me check ya for other injuries,” he rumbled, suddenly leaning in close. He dipped his head down and lay a soft kiss on your neck.

“H-how is that checking?” you stammered out, unprepared for his very forward advances.

“You want me to stop?” You felt his breath as he spoke, felt his lips move against your ear.

Oh lord. It felt too good; all your could do was lean your head back and give him access to your skin. He took that as consent, and kept moving his lips ever closer to yours.

“T-Tacitus…”

“Call me Arthur,” he uttered just as he captured your lips. It was a heated kiss, full of carnal promises, and you opened your mouth to him, wanting more.

“Not here,” he said as he took the reins from you, forgotten in your grasp. He urged the horse faster down the road.

Looking at his profile, he looked like a man on a desperate mission. The hunger in his eyes when he glanced back at you both scared you and sent a thrill through your body, straight to your lower regions.

You couldn’t wait to get back.

***

He parked the carriage it its proper spot and hopped out, holding his arm out to you. This time you took it, and he helped you down, reluctantly letting go of your hand as the two of you took all the packages and letters inside.

You called out to your boss, but he wasn’t around. After dropping off the parcels & letters in the delivery area, you peeked in the back office. Seeing a note on your desk, you walked inside and read it.

Close up when you get back. Thank you for your hard work.

You smiled. Your boss was always direct, but kind.

“So, no one else is here?”

You turned to look at Arthur, leaning against the door frame, a dark look in his eyes.

You swallowed. “N-no…”

“Good.” He took two swift steps towards you and pulled you into his arms. He kissed you, this time invading your mouth the second you opened for him, one hand digging into your hair, the other wrapped around you, grabbing your rear.

“Arthur!” you gasped once he let you breathe. “Someone could come in and see!”

“Then let’s make this quick,” he said, picking you up and sitting you on your desk. Pushing you down, he pulled your skirt up and tore your drawers open.

“Wait-”

“No time,” he growled, unbuttoning his fly, releasing his hard cock to your view. “Been wantin’ you for so long, can’t wait no more.”

“I-I need…” you trailed off as you eyed his shaft. What did you need, again?

Arthur grinned as he gripped your hips and slid you to the edge of your desk. He pushed your legs open and started moving his hips back and forth, teasing your opening with the head of his cock, sliding it around, rubbing your clit.

“You need me, darlin?”

You bit your lip and looked up at him. 

“You gonna beg me?”

“You’re an ass,” you finally said.

Arthur’s hand shot out and grabbed your neck. “I thought you’d be sweeter than that. After all we’ve been through.” He leaned forward, putting a little more pressure against your clit as he rubbed against you.

“Yes, yes, more, please,” you said faintly.

“Good girl,” he growled, and reached down to thumb your sensitive bud, giving you the pleasure you craved. He watched, his other hand gently caressing your neck as he stroked you, all the while nudging your opening with his thick shaft. An insistent pressure pushing at you, slowly spreading you open as he leaned forward, putting his weight to use as he entered you.

“A-Arthur…”

“That’s it, look at me darlin’.”

You lost yourself in his beautiful eyes as he took you, inch by heated inch.

He released your neck and grabbed the hair at the back of your head. 

Then he thrust all the way in.

You let out a strangled noise at the sudden force, the intense feeling of being so thoroughly filled by a man making your heart race.

“Eyes on me, sweetheart.”

Your eyes never left his as he stared at you with a deep hunger, and then he started to move his hips.

“Yer alright, just breathe… that’s it… Good, feel me.”

He talked you through the initial shock, coaxing you into a pleasurable trance as he took you with languid but powerful strokes. 

“Yer doin’ good, darlin’.” He nuzzled your neck as he began to unbutton your shirt. Revealing just enough to let him kiss the top of your breasts, he kept pumping into you, his pace gradually speeding up as he wanted more.

“You are just the finest,” he mumbled, burying his head in your bosom as he started to fuck you wildly, his restraint quickly disappearing as he buried himself inside of you over and over again. His rough treatment of you was, to your surprise, making you incredibly wet and hot; you wrapped your legs around him, mewling in pleasure. You dug your nails into his back, gripping his shirt and tugging as he continued to pound without a care, mindlessly taking you like an animal.

His heavy breaths and grunts grew louder, and so did your cries of bliss. He was taking you so good, so deep, that when he stood up straight, grabbed your hips, and lifted you up slightly to enter you from a different angle, going even deeper, you came hard around him, your fingernails digging into his forearms as you released, the bliss shooting throughout your body like fireworks.

Watching you writhe under him was too perfect, as Arthur quickly pulled out of you with a moan, rubbing himself against your nether lips as he came, his spend spilling onto your belly and your torn drawers.

“Darlin’, darlin’,” he mumbled as he leaned in close. “Yer so damn pretty when you let go.”

You smiled up at him, the afterglow permeating your entire being. 

The sunset coming through the window hit your pendant, resting on the table next to your shoulder. You put the gemstone closer to his face, next to his eyes.

“It does match.”

Arthur turned his head slightly to look at the gemstone you were holding. “Never seen a gem like that before. What is it?”

“Apatite.”

He chuckled. “An appropriate name.” He got up and held his hand out to you. “Lemme help you clean up, then I’ll be on my way.”

“You sated, now that you’ve had me?” you asked.

“Never, darlin’.” He leaned in and kissed you deeply. “That just whet my appetite for ya.”

Laughing, you shook your head at his silly joke. You got the distinct feeling he’d be coming by again tomorrow.

——————–

End Notes: Of COURSE I did some research. What did I find? That by 1899, there were 11 known female mail carriers. And they were badass, risking thieves and the elements, devoted to their duty to deliver mail to rural parts of the country. So of course, I made Reader an unknown mail carrier, badass with a heart of gold.

Also the title is a PUN. Mail for you? MALE FOR YOU?! HAH. *dodges rotten fruit*

[dr-astormylasthurrah]

spam’s character design tips!

(various designs I’ve done! adopt characters belong to their owners, I only include them here as examples and claim no current ownership.) *disclaimer: it was 9 pages before i added pictures so i’m not inaccurate

If you would rather read this as a Google Document, please click here! (The document has more examples as well!)

Hey! My name’s Spam and I write Danganronpa: A Stormy Last Hurrah! You may also have seen my art for various stories and users around the Internet, including RATS: 252 Chances at Redemption and the Alca Ronpa series! You may ALSO also have seen my character designs, including those for ASLH as well as certain characters in Alca Ronpa and Kill the Joker: AnotheR Game! I sell adopts fairly frequently as well and have miscellaneous designs floating around the web, so I figured I may as well write something about my process. This is mostly oriented towards human OCs! So hopefully this helps someone!!

Before starting this guide, I’d like to give credit to gaiacseas/gokuhara’s “How I Design OCs: Do’s and Don’ts”! When I was designing the ASLH cast, I found myself coming back to this guide again and again. A lot of my points are the same as theirs, but I talk a bit about my own process, especially when it comes to characters that I revamp and redesign.

All uncredited art was done by me, including character designs. Characters belong to their respective owners. All other art is credited.

So let’s get started!

CONCEPTS

The first thing I’m going to say is that my character designs, especially those for myself, take absolutely FOREVER. I usually go through many, many pages of concepts and color tests before I find something I’m satisfied with. It’s a long and very constructive process, and if I’m designing a character for someone else, it can take weeks before we can find something we’re both satisfied with.

Alexei Ilyich Bazhanov, ASLH’s SHSL Birdwatcher, was a design-first character, meaning that I came up with his design first and built his personality around it. Although to be fair someone who constantly wears a feathery halfmask in public is inevitably bound to be kind of dramatic, so there’s only so many ways his personality couldn’t be influenced by his design. However, his design took a bit of a downgrade from his initial design to his current iteration, largely because of his initial design’s similarity to Tatsumaru Harai, ASLH’s SHSL Kabuki Actor.

In Tatsumaru’s concept sketch, you can also see the inspirations I cited for their design! I don’t consume much media, so the characters I cite as reference are often OCs in my friends’ stories. Here, I cited Minami Tachibana (Danganronpa: Dead on Arrival), Alix Murasaki (Ultimate Danganronpa: Supernova at Sea), and… Rhanahad Electricrone (Alca Ronpa 2), for some reason. I… actually don’t remember how or why any of those influences connect to Tatsumaru at all? Actually, for almost all of the ASLH characters, I scribbled down some notes on design influences and proceeded to ignore them. So maybe don’t listen to me actually. But design influences are good! Just don’t straight up copy them.

ANYWAY, as you can see, Alexei and Tatsumaru both had longish coats with balloon pants. However, I had better reason to keep these traits for Tatsumaru than Alexei, because kabuki acting actually uses these elements in its costumes. Thus, it made more sense to change Alexei’s design, although I do think that he would still actually wear that original outfit. It’s very himcore.

The point is that this ended up in many, many more drafts of concept sketches until I found something I was satisfied with. Like, six pages. It was kind of insane. It’s worth it in the end to make a polished product, though!

BODIES

(Admittedly, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the best when it comes to drawing distinct body types. It’s a weakness of mine that I’m getting better at, but I’m still not great at it.)

The #1 tip I can give here is to use shape language! This is what people use in pretty much all Western cartoons - ever think about how hard it would be to take Bill Cipher seriously if he was a circle? gaiacseas goes over shape language and silhouettes in far more depth in their tutorial, so I really advise looking at it! The basics are:

CIrcles/ovals convey softness and gentleness

Rectangles convey solidity and strength

Triangles convey sharpness and distrust

Combine shapes to modify the image your character conveys!

Also, just a tip: if you’re designing a cast of characters, please don’t just make them all the same body type! In real life, if you got any random sample of people, they’re not all going to be the same body type. Diversifying your body types helps a lot to distinguish characters from each other, too. Imagine if all of these characters had the same proportions as each other - even though they all have distinct outfits, you would have a much harder time perceiving them as different people.

If you’re going to draw characters of a body type you’re unfamiliar with, good for you! But first, take the time to look up guides on how to draw those body types. Studying real people also helps a lot to understand the vast varieties of body types. Just look at this picture of Olympic and Paralympic athletes from the 2016 Rio games - there’s already a ton of variations in “muscular” depending on what their sport is, and each athlete is optimized to their sport! It’s like that for literally everyone on Earth with literally every body type. There’s millions of ways to be skinny (bony? lean? malnourished?) or fat (most fat around their stomach, arms, legs?) or muscular (tall like a basketball player, dense like a weightlifter?) so make them count!

Also consider making characters with disabilities! My commentary on this as an abled person is fairly limited, but I will say to please note that what you think you know about disabilities is not necessarily true. This is in regards to their experiences having a disability, but can even apply to things you don’t think about - the wheelchairs most wheelchair-bound people use are not usually medical wheelchairs, for example. Research!!

On a related note, please don’t make racial caricatures or draw all your characters with the same facial features. People of specific ethnicities tend to (but not always) have certain features that are common to people across a regional area, but that’s no excuse to veer into drawing in the same way old racist cartoons are illustrated in. Again, there’s plenty of guides to help with learning about these! Or just look at the people around you and draw real people as practice. You’ll find the world is much more diverse than you think.

And speaking of references!! I’ve seen a lot of really good guides these days for drawing different body types and features! Go check them out go check em go!!

sdkay’s guide on drawing different facial structures (original post was deleted)

kenzandfriends’ guide on drawing fat people (original post was deleted)

nsfwbutts’ guide on drawing fat people (guide isn’t nsfw but their blog is so this is a reblog)

mel-lion’s guide on drawing black features

chuwenjie’s guide on drawing East Asian faces

“world of averages” - composite images of thousands of portraits of people from different places (re: certain facial features being common to certain ethnicities!)

calvin-arium’s guide on drawing characters in wheelchairs

Honestly if you’re looking for help just literally google “how to draw [character trait] and I GUARANTEE you there is a guide out there for you. While people not belonging to the demographic you’re drawing will probably not notice if you don’t portray groups accurately, those who are part of that demographic will be absolutely delighted.

MOTIFS

Motifs are a really neat way to make your character stand out in a crowd, especially if those motifs have meaning behind them! I mostly do this for adopts, but one of my favorite designs was Ophelia Zhang, a character I designed and proceeded to do absolutely nothing with.

She’s Medusa-inspired, as is obvious because of the snake motif on her jacket and the green hair/yellow eyes combination! Maybe you didn’t notice it until I pointed out, but now that I did, it raises intrigue about her character and her connection to the myth, doesn’t it?

Aside from Ophelia, most of my (own) characters aren’t very motif-heavy, but I like having common themes and patterns that run throughout their outfits at least. It just makes the outfit blend better. Some examples of this include Claude Bates, ASLH’s SHSL Violinist, and Chiyo Kumoshita, ASLH’s SHSL Cellphone Novelist.

Nonstandards are a great way of making a character Become Their Motif! Claude is based on snakes, specifically grass snakes - he’s got beady eyes, fangs, a grass snake pattern on his pants, and the combination of weird vesty jacket thing and striped shirt creates a belly scales effect. HOWEVER, he’s also got violin motifs! Most obvious are the f-hole patterns on his coat, but a more subtle thing is that his shirt has 5 stripes - a music staff (which sheet music is written on) is made of 5 lines!

(“so spam shouldn’t he have only 4 stripes on his shirt, for the 4 spaces on a music staff” shut up i realized i messed up his design too late. my orchestra director is going to kill me)

Chiyo, on the other hand, has a distinct cloud motif! This primarily is to match her surname (雲下 are the kanji for “clouds” and “under” respectively), but the other reason Chiyo has a cloud motif is because of ASLH itself - ASLH is loosely themed around the Shakespeare play The Tempest, and Chiyo, being ASLH’s protagonist, gets a “clear skies” motif. Neat!

OUTFITS

(“Incinerate” is the base for Puppet from Kill The Joker: AnotheR Game!)

There is SO MUCH that can be said about outfits and how I design them. The #1 tip I have is to look at what other people wear, and then decide what it is about that outfit you like so much! If you go somewhere where people are dressed differently from what you’re used to (a distant city or a foreign country), take notes! For me, some elements I come back to a lot include collared shirts, sweaters, oversized overdecorated overcoats, and cloud/sky patterning.

So here’s a little about what makes outfits distinct from each other!

Colors:

Bro this is SO IMPORTANT. There’s a lot that can be said about color theory, and gaiacseas says more than I do on the topic, but basically color conveys a lot about the character. Muted colors convey a muted personality, and brighter colors convey a brighter one! As gaiacseas says in their guide, however, this sets up a great way to subvert expectations about your character.

Protip! If you’re having trouble with a color scheme, just color pick from an existing picture! I don’t have any examples of this on hand, but I do know that sunset pictures are very yummy and I have a lot of pink/orange colored designs. Coincidence? I think NOT.

The number of colors you select is of course up to you, but personally, I don’t use too many individual colors for ease of creating reference images. Of course, realistically, no one’s going to wear clothes the exact same color as each other. Unfortunately for that realism, I am lazy and don’t want to color pick 10 colors, so this is how I live.

Layering:

This is the absolute #1 best way to build texture and silhouette in your characters! Step one, find a funky garment. Step two, find another funky garment. Step three, put them on top of each other. Step four, PROFIT.

The easiest garments to do this with is of course jackets, but they certainly aren’t the only garment that can be layered! Layering is just a matter of looking at clothes you would not usually wear together and going “I wonder what would happen if you wore this together?” In real life this is usually a disaster. But in the world of art and hypotheticals everything is fair game and NOTHING makes sense!

Patterns:

For when layers just don’t cut it! As far as patterns go, they could tie into motifs or just be a nice pattern. For example, Mal Jenkins is a painter, so the patterns on his sleeves, pants, and bag are based on Monet’s “Water Lilies”.

On the other hand, patterns could just be a pattern or recurring motif! The world is your oyster!

Materials/textures:

When combined with layering, clothes of different textures and weights can add a lot to a design! I mentioned before that I like designs with jackets, let’s look at a couple different hoodies! Featured here is Tristan McRae, ASLH’s SHSL Video Game Designer, and Hayato Kikuchi, Ultimate Parkourist (submitted to rebootmon’s Danganronpa: Zetsubou Panic!!).

You can see that Tristan’s jacket is made of much thicker material than Hayato’s, which is very baggy and loose. This already makes their designs a lot more distinct from each other! (They’re also wearing totally different colors so that helps too.)

Other textures I like to do include adding holes (like Spring from KTJ:ARG has holes in her coat), adding things onto fabrics (like Tsukino Chisaki, ASLH’s SHSL Flight Student, has studs on her coat and boots), and adding visible stitching (like Brendan Valdez, ASLH’s SHSL Flight Student, has patches on his coat).

Clothes:

Having a general idea of what clothes actually exist is a very good start! Such as:

Tops: t-shirts, collared shirts, long sleeve/short sleeve shirts, tank/tube tops, cold shoulder shirts, blouses, sheer mesh shirts…

Bottoms: Skirts, gym shorts, denim shorts, jeans (with and without holes), leggings, culottes, kilts...

Dresses: Prom dresses, casual dresses, ball gowns, formal full-length gowns…

Undergarments: tights, fishnets, garters, long socks, short socks, gloves, bras/bralettes...

Coverings: Hoodies, cardigans, overcoats, denim jackets, capes, ponchos, vests, suit jackets…

Shoes: Slippers, flip-flops, sandals, high heels, sneakers, athletic shoes, slip-ons, boots...

Accessories: Hats, barrettes, hair ties, jewelry, bags, headbands, belts, chains, suspenders, buttons, glasses...

So from there it’s just mix and match! Keep in mind the different styles of clothing as well - you can swap out things like collars and edges to create variety! There’s different types of boots, different types of skirts, different kinds of bags. The sky’s the limit!

No, I Meant Like Clothes Inspiration:

Oh. Again, keep an eye out for specific art inspirations! If you see a cool character design or outfit on social media, bookmark it! Just remember not to copy clothes exactly, because that’s called art theft! I have a storage Discord server where I keep screenshots and links of art and outfits I come across while scrolling social media.

I find that the best original outfits are a combination of different outfits. Take certain elements that you find cool in each outfit , then add a few elements of your own and stick them all together! It might take a few passes to work as cohesively as you’d like, but keep trying! The best outfits that take inspiration should look so seamlessly blended and original that they should only look like the references if you compare them to each other.

I also have a few characters inspired by songs, so sometimes I’ll incorporate the motifs of MVs for those songs into their outfits. I don’t really recommend this unless you’re 100% prepared to be called out on where the outfit came from, and I ESPECIALLY do not recommend lifting the outfit exactly. Again, that’s art theft.

Isaku Umitsu, my SHSL Kyudoka, is based on the Hitotsume-sama, Bun-chan, and Kulukulu characters from utaite Eve’s music videos Literary Nonsense and Outsider. Looking at them side by side, the inspiration is obvious, but when taken out of context, it shouldn’t be the first thing that comes to mind unless you’ve watched Eve’s videos 100 times (like I have) (take my computer from me please).

References:

As for references! Here’s just a couple that I found digging through my Tumblr!

My main blog’s fashion tag!

moatdd’s layering how-to! This changed my life when I saw it.

OSF Costume Rentals - period accurate clothing!

leaf-submas’s hat and skirt style guide, feat. Napstablook!

Jfashionmagazines - Japanese street fashion!

If your mutuals have fashion tags or pages, that’s a good place to dig through as well! They almost certainly have different styles than you do, so you’ll get exposed to a lot of different styles!

Outfits are a lot of fun and my favorite part of designing characters! Hopefully it will be for you too! :D

REDESIGNING CHARACTERS/NEW OUTFITS

Ever got a character design you love, but then decided you weren’t feeling anymore? Or got a character from someone you ended up hating? Or you found character art from 5 years ago and decided you hated it? YEAH ME TOO TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE!!

ASLH has four characters who were adopts: Ririka Kashizaki (SHSL Nail Artist), Sentarou Sekisada (SHSL Seat Filler), Hirono Ekyou (SHSL Oendan), and Ryouji Atsui (SHSL Caterer)! For a “complete from scratch redesign” I’ll be talking about Ryouji, who was converted from an attempt at design to a fantroll to an original design!

As you can see, I had a lot of trouble with Ryouji’s design. (It probably didn’t help that I didn’t finalize his personality until basically the prologue though lbr.) I didn’t really know what I was doing, and though I had the concept for the vibes I was shooting for, nothing seemed right. Around the same time, I bought an OC design from my friend Marti, and I was having so much trouble I was like “y’know what let’s just fuse the two”.

My process for redesigning OCs, especially when doing something like humanizing a nonhuman character, is to pick the certain traits I’d like to keep and change the rest. For Ryouji, the elements of his concept art I wanted to keep were parts of the outfit (the apron and vest) and the elements of the fantroll I wanted to keep were his eyebrow scar and the squares pattern on the jacket. Thus, when redesigning him, I made him have all of these elements! This was probably one of my favorite designs to make ever, and I’m really glad other people seem to like it too.

Weirdly enough, as soon as I finalized his design for his first reference, his personality almost immediately materialized. Which really just goes to show how much design can influence character personalities.

(Fun fact, drawing Ryouji’s reference was the first time I drew his final outfit, so I’m extremely grateful it turned out as well as it did.)

Other characters, like Hirono, only need a quick outfit touchup. I loved Hirono’s design already, and it fit with what I had in mind with her personality. All I did to change her was the same process I use to make any other outfit, see above. She’s an oendan, so she gets a hapi coat and school uniform… though, honestly, that original outfit is still super cute. I should draw it again sometime.

Most of the characters that I redesign as heavily as I did Ryouji are fangems and fantrolls that I buy from my friends, because I know that they understand my mighty need to redesign things. I try not to redesign adopts I get from other sources because I don’t know how the people I bought them from would feel about my editing their design too heavily; Sentarou and Ririka fall into these categories, so when I got them I mostly changed their outfits.

For me, it feels weird to redesign already-existing human OCs, but it’s also not impossible - Tristan, for example, used to be white. No I’m not going to show you the sketches for that and all you need to know is that it sucked, mostly because I was having a lot of trouble making him look nerdy but also nonthreatening. I think how he looks now is a good balance. If you ever get stuck redesigning a character, a race or gender swap (if either is possible tastefully) can go a really long way, and can even subvert expectations about a character! Just keep in mind dynamics and messages as well - if you have a strong violent woman and go “hey she should be trans”, that’s really not the best stereotype you would probably want to display in your work. Be mindful!

2015 (og design) => later 2015? (RWBY AU) => 2017 (AR3) => 2018 (DE:OPH

CAST BALANCE: DESIGNS

I wasn’t going to talk about this but then I decided I was gonna talk about it! I mean this is kinda a guide for Danganronpa characters, but this applies to any cast that is presented in a group. The characters in ASLH fall into a few different categories:

Created for beta ASLH: Chiyo, Amal, Tsukino, Ririka, Kanemori, Tristan, Tiana, Claude, Iris, Aster

Created for current ASLH: Ryouji, Sentarou, Alexei, Tatsumaru

Preexisting characters: Hirono, Brendan

The largest problem I had putting all the cast members together was revising outfits so that, as seen with Alexei and Tatsumaru above, designs wouldn’t be too similar. For the most part, I had vague ideas of what I wanted for each appearance; even the characters whose designs materialized fully-formed (like Tiana and Brendan) were edited slightly for cast cohesion.

I wish I could say I was responsible in developing all 16 characters’ designs at once so I could keep an eye on their design consistencies, but I would be lying. Instead, I finalized them and then posted them one by one. This was a double edged sword. One, I couldn’t go back and readjust colors or designs without making a whole new reference (which I actually did for Tatsumaru). However, because I was able to take a birds-eye view of my cast, I could see what design elements I needed more of - ESPECIALLY for color scheme! You’ll notice that a lot of the first row in my cast pic is very dark and grey-dominant, so I made a conscious push to include more colors in the second row of characters.

My one regret is not doing more talent-related designs. For a majority of the ASLH cast, you wouldn’t be able to tell their talent from appearance alone. In some cases this would have been impossible anyway (how do you convey to a Western audience a SHSL Cellphone Novelist through design?), but the only really distinct and obvious talent related designs are probably Tatsumaru (who probably doesn’t count because kabuki acting is maskless); Claude; Iris Sumitama, the SHSL Honors Student; and Kanemori Shionaga, the SHSL Football Player. Can you guess who they are?

Also, Alexei’s outfit should have been more extra. I still regret not making it so.

TOO LONG, DIDN’T READ

Go look at gaiacseas’ thing.

I do at least a page or two of concept art before settling on a single design.

Pay attention to body types!

Motifs can make a character look really cohesive and thematic.

Pay attention to what you like in outfits, too!!

Color schemes give an at-a-glance idea of your character’s personality.

Layering creates distinct silhouettes and can be done with more than just jackets!

Varying materials and textures makes the same garments look distinct from each other.

Making interesting outfits is as easy as mixing and matching garments.

Find outfit inspiration, but don’t plagarize!

To redesign characters, take the elements you like and shift everything else until it looks the way you want it to!

Balancing cast designs is a tricky process; going one-by-one is possible but has its ups and downs.

A LAST NOTE

In general, when you make a character whose life is different from yours - especially those belonging to marginalized communities - for the love of GOD please do some research about the experiences those communities have. It is a very bad idea to make them into a mouthpiece for your views of the groups. (SHSL Activists that are portrayed as unreasonable SJW strawmen irritate me to no end.) If you don’t feel you can portray a character respectfully, through either drawing or writing them, either a) research and listen to people of these groups so that you can or b) don’t do it, and maybe reevaluate yourself and figure out what about making this character makes you so uncomfortable.

Which isn’t to say that you have to be 100% perfect at everything, of course. In general, so long as the misinterpretations are unintentional, people belonging to the groups you try to represent tend to be pretty happy that you’re trying at all. You have no idea how happy I am to see agender representation in fanganronpa casts, especially because the Danganronpa OC scene likes to stick to hard gender binary balances. So it is worth it if you want to try it!

GOOD LUCK

And happy character creating!

If you enjoyed this document, please consider buying me a Ko-Fi or checking out my commissions! Or, of course, read Danganronpa: A Stormy Last Hurrah.

[in-the-abis]

Title: just one last night (until everything ends)

Rating: T

Word Count: 2676

Summary: For a girl who’d already lost so much, this was the final straw. Post Annihilation Route; contains late-game spoilers

AO3 Link

The night lasted too long.

Sleep evaded Mizuki no matter how many sheep she counted, no matter how tightly she squeezed her eyes shut, no matter how she buried herself beneath thin blankets, as if they were capable of smothering the far heavier grief in her chest.

The clock on her phone taunted her every time she dared reach out to check for a message. She needed something, anything. She would even have accepted Ota’s gushing about Iris, but now...

Why did all this happen?

It was nearly 6 in the morning before her phone jolted to life, blinding her sleep-deprived eyes as she scrambled to pick it up. “Stupid Idiot” showed on the screen--an appropriately named contact for Date.

Her voice was strained with forced anger as she hit answer. “Finally, I was beginning to think you died or something, idiot.” Her voice wavered halfway through; she wouldn’t admit it for real, but her mind had been weaving together the worst case scenario as the night progressed.

On the other side, Date hesitated. Any other time, she might’ve teased him for buttdialing her, but before the thought could truly formulate, an unfamiliar voice reached her ears.

“Sorry to wake you, Mizuki. This is Aiba; we haven’t met, but I am Date’s... partner, I suppose you could say.”

Her lips pulled into a frown, uneasiness churning in her gut. “Oh, um, okay...?”

There was another long pause from “Aiba”. “I’m calling to inform you that Pewter is on his way to pick you up. From there, he will take you to Central Hospital, where--”

“Central Hospital?” Mizuki interrupted, voice shaking. The dread grew, and her phone made an odd noise as her grip on it tightened.

“Yes. Unfortunately, Date was injured in his confrontation with the Cyclops Killer. He is currently undergoing emergency surgery.”

What?

Her last words to him played over and over in her head. I want to be left alone. She was always saying that, wasn’t she? Leave me alone, Date. Go away, Date. I don’t wanna talk to you, you’re so stupid, Date.

Her voice caught in her throat. “Is, is he gonna--”

“The wounds shouldn’t be deadly,” Aiba assured. “However, I believe he is experiencing a great deal of shock. His body was bleeding for a period of time before receiving proper treatment.” Although they had never met, her honesty about the severity made Mizuki feel like she could trust this Aiba. After all, his partner had to know that Date was too annoying to die.

Right? He couldn’t die, not until he kept his promise to her.

She didn’t have long to fret about it. There was a knock at the door, and with Aiba’s confirmation that Pewter had arrived and her promptly hanging up, Mizuki rolled out of bed, still in the same outfit she’d worn the day before. The past day--heck, the past week--had been too hard and too busy; she was exhausted.

Pewter looked at her with sympathetic eyes as she opened the door. Though he dressed like a weirdo, he hardly acted of the sort, guiding her to his car with a gentle hand. No words were spoken; there was already an understanding between them. As he pushed the speed limit, she turned the other eye, trying not to think about how much she wanted it to be Date in the driver’s seat so she could tease him for breaking the law.

She blinked and they were in the hospital’s parking lot. She jerked upright as she realized her tired body had dozed off unwillingly, and then shot a look at Pewter that was more of a pout than a scowl. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Don’t worry, we only arrived a few minutes ago. They haven’t cleared him from the ICU yet, so there was no point in rousing you quite yet. And even before that... Well, I believe there are some things I should explain.”

Without waiting for her to respond, Pewter pushed on to an explanation that was verbose in nature and probably could’ve been summarized as one point: Date had agreed to exploit some feature of the Psync machine during negotiations with the serial killer, and as a result, he was no longer in his own body, but rather in the body of Boss. But also apparently Boss wasn’t in Date’s body, since the killer had already swapped with her previously?

That last part was weird; it seemed that a lot had happened overnight.

During Pewter’s lengthy rant, her thoughts drifted back to Iris and Ota. ... How would they have reacted to a story like this? It was so surreal, and if it’d been fictional, it would’ve been something right up their alley...

Her heart clenched.

Finally, Pewter trailed off, coughing into his fist. “I think that about sums it up. I know it’s probably confusing, so I can explain further if need be?”

She shook her head; while it certainly was confusing, she wasn’t stupid or anything. “As long as Date is okay, I don’t really care if he looks different.” She paused, something suddenly occurring to her. “Um, but did they capture the culprit?”

He nodded. “Aiba knocked him out and he was taken into custody. His fate will be determined once the higher ups get everything sorted out.”

A thick silence fell over the car; Mizuki wasn’t sure what to say, and it seemed that Pewter wasn’t either. She stared down at her phone, which was now scarred with thin cracks from the tightness of her grip earlier. Date had given her this phone a year ago, and though he claimed it was something from her Daddy, she knew that this model was one of the cheaper ones--something that would better fit Date’s salary than Daddy’s.

She never did thank him for it.

She watched the minutes drag by, resisting the urge to check NILE when she knew there would be no messages from her two best friends waiting--just days old messages that would serve to remind her that they were gone forever.

“Mizuki.” Pewter’s voice pulled her from sinking into the abyss of her broken heart, a hand reaching over and settling on her shoulder. “I've been given word that he's out of surgery. Would you like to go in?”

She nodded and exited the car with hurried fumbling. She was desperate to confirm that he was safe. She quickly pulled ahead of Pewter, who called after her to slow down. She ignored him.

She burst into the hospital lobby, earning a number of stares from her pounding feet echoing off the silent walls. She ignored them as well, looking for the front desk to demand guidance to Date. She quickly located it and ran over, slamming her hands down in front of the receptionist.

“I wanna see Date! Tell me his room or I’ll-!” She didn’t get far into her threat before Pewter caught up to her, catching her by the shoulder and halting her in her tracks.

“Please, calm down; you’ll have better luck if I talk to them.” Stupid adults. They were always looking down on people younger than them. She glared daggers into the admittedly frightened receptionist, and in her overwhelmed emotions, her mind was blocked out from Pewter’s hushed whispers towards the hospital staff.

Just when she was about to run off to look for the room herself, Pewter returned. “Okay, they cleared you to visit. I told them you were family, since that’s all they’re allowing visitation at the moment. I had wanted to join you, but...”

Mizuki shook her head. “See, this is why you and Date aren’t as cool as Boss; she just blackmails the doctors to get whatever she wants. You could learn from her.”

Pewter gave her a strained smile. “I suppose I could. But anyway, please, go ahead. I’ll wait out here.” She turned to leave, but he quickly spoke again. “Oh, but before you do, please, take this.” He handed her a small orb. As she turned it over in her hand, she realized it was Date’s fake eye--an edgy golden thing that she would poke fun at him for. Seriously, why didn’t he just get one that matched his other eye? Weirdo.

“Oookay then.” She reluctantly pocketed it. It felt weird to hold onto something that had been in someone’s eye socket at some point. “Why do I need this...?”

“Just trust me.” That was his only explanation, and he turned away to approach one of the officers waiting in the lobby.

She made her way up the stairs and into the wards, eyes trailing along and reading the plates on the walls to find the room he was in. She found the number attached to a name that wasn’t Date’s; Shizue Kuranushi. Cautiously, she poked into the room.

As Pewter had explained, within Date’s room was Boss’ body. Mizuki’s lip quivered as she entered the room, closing the door behind her and approaching the bed. Boss’ body didn’t react. The machines on the bedside beeped at a constant, slow pace.

“Date?” She called out, placing a hand on her--his(?) shoulder. No response. She tightened her grip and shook. Nothing.

“Careful, you wouldn’t want to open his stitches,” a voice said, and she jerked in surprise, looking around the empty room for the source.

When she found no one, she shakily responded, “Who’s there?!”

There was a sudden movement in her pocket, and Date’s eye fell out, covered in a clear squishy gel. It landed on the bed, and solidified into the shape of a hamster.

She couldn’t help it; she screamed.

The eye-hamster-thing didn’t seem surprised. “I apologize for startling you, Mizuki. I suppose it’s time for a more formal introduction, since Date continuously put it off.” Its somewhat familiar voice sounded annoyed. “I am Aiba, an artificial intelligence that resides in Date’s eye.”

“You’re Aiba?!” Even though she was shouting, Date didn’t stir.

“Yes. I’m sure you remember all those times Date’s spoken to himself with no one else around.” She did; it happened so frequently that Mizuki used it as ammunition against him. “He was always just responding to something that I said. Inside his head, of course. I also provide him with a variety of functions that aid him in his job, including acting as his phone.”

“Oh.” That made a lot of sense, actually. That explained why Aiba’s call had come in through Date’s phone number. It also explained why she’d never seen Date with a phone.

“Anyway.” Aiba turned towards Date. “It looks like his surgery went well. His vitals seem stable. However...” She paused. “Scans of his brain are showing abnormalities in his EEG. It’s possible that he is comatose.”

Mizuki felt her chest grow tight. A wave of intense loneliness crashed down on her. “Will, will he wake up?”

“Time will tell. However, Date isn’t the type to give up.”

They sat in silence for a long time. Mizuki couldn't decide if she wanted to watch over him for signs of him waking up; him having Boss’ face made her feel disconnected. For an already emotionally troubled preteen, she couldn't process the complex emotions churning in her gut. So, instead, she stared out the window at the drizzling rain, her fingers curled around the too-soft hand that was now Date’s.

Eventually, the rain let up, and it was at that point that a worry slipped from her lips. “If he doesn't wake up, who’s gonna look after me? I mean, I'm fine on my own, but I know adults are weird and would make me have a guardian until he wakes up, right?” When Aiba didn't answer, she continued on. “Maybe I could stay with Hitomi for a while; she probably needs some support too, so...”

Still no response. She hadn't really needed one, but she still wanted someone to give her guidance. So, she turned to Aiba.

She met Mizuki’s gaze, but the AI eyeball had no expressions to give. “Hitomi... Hitomi is dead.”

She felt every muscle in her body tense as her stomach dropped. She couldn't speak. It wasn't aphonia claiming her voice again, but the shock was so intense that she wouldn't have been surprised if it had temporarily returned.

After a long minute, she finally croaked out, “What? No, that's--she couldn't be.”

Aiba continued. “The culprit captured her before we caught him, and... He used her as a hostage to bargain with Date only to... remotely off her once he got what he wanted. I'm sorry.”

Mizuki jerked to her feet. Before she could restrain herself, her arms were on Date’s shoulders, shaking him as hard as she could without hurting him. “Date! Date, wake up! Tell me that Hitomi’s alive! You saved her, right?! C’mon! Date, please!”

As if responding, Date’s monitor roared to life, beeping frantically. She stopped shaking, glancing to the machines to attempt to read them.

Aiba spared her the effort. “His brain waves and heart rate are increasing. Perhaps your words reached him--?”

Before she could say anything further, a handful of doctors and nurses rushed into the room. One quickly ushered Mizuki away from the bedside, trying to direct her out of the room.

Naturally, she resisted. “Hey, wait! No!” The nurse that had grabbed her yelped in pain as she pushed him away, his back roughly slamming into the edge of a table. His colleagues rushed over, two replacing him and grabbing an arm each, still trying to get Mizuki out.

They were trying to comfort her and explain that they needed her to leave, but she couldn’t. Date needed her, and she needed him!

Then, the frantic beeping ceased, the droning flat line that she never wanted to hear--even though she’d never heard it in person, she certainly knew what it meant from media.

“Date! Date!” she yelled past the two bodies blocking her view. She pushed enough that she could glimpse past them and see one of the doctors beginning chest compressions while another was strapping an oxygen mask to his face.

The nurses pushed back and she lost sight of him. Knowing that the two would soon succeed in pushing her out of the room, she did the only thing her panicked mind could think of; she dropped her weight and threw them off balance.

“I’m not leaving! I won’t get in the way, so just--just save him!” She suddenly became aware of the tears cascading down her face and the way her voice choked as she begged for Date’s life to be spared.

Reluctantly, they left her on the ground and returned to the bedside, drawing the curtain around Date’s bed to cut her off from the view. She suddenly felt small and alone. She was reminded of being a young girl, desperate for her mother’s love, but Shoko would just huff and storm away when Mizuki threw a tantrum.

Date... Don’t leave me too.

The drone eventually stopped, but it wasn’t replaced by the steady beeping that had preceded this turn of events. A heavy silence filled the room, the hospital staff murmuring to each other before one emerged from the other side of the divider.

“He’s gone.”

...

She found herself out in the hallway, sitting on a cold bench. She stared at the opposing wall. Her head hurt. She wanted to feel Date’s warm arms wrapped around her again. She wanted him to roll his eyes and throw that stupid jacket of his over her shoulders and gripe that she getting snot all over it, so it was hers now.

But instead, his murderer--everyone’s murderer--was prancing around in his body while he himself was...

Aiba crawled up the bench and onto her clenched fists. The pressure was like a hand, and it was almost comforting. But Mizuki didn’t feel better. In fact, there was probably only one thing at this point that could.

“Where are they keeping that guy,” she muttered darkly, “I want to kill him.”

[rkmason]

▰▰▰▰▰▰ MNET GLOBAL AUDITIONS, SEASON 5 ˟  EP. 2 PERFORMANCE ▰▰▰▰▰▰

memories come flooding back the him the more he goes through the motions of the competition. he remembers asking luna for her opinion on his stage outfits so far, on what he ought to go for next, running into someone he didn’t know would become his sunbae in nova to ask something similar: how to step up his fashion game other than stealing from ty’s closet, something his roommate at the time was bound to notice when they competed on the same reason, on the same stage.

walking into the set for the next round, with its new layout, its less crowded layout, it feels bittersweet. he’s already lost a few friends from the last round to this one and he lets out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding onto. compared to last week, he realizes it’s better to show his nervousness, to show weakness, but it’s a concept he has to become comfortable with. [he won’t grow otherwise, will stop changing if he doesn’t.]

his palms are sweaty and he still isn’t done using the same tired ass joke about eminem and 8 mile, as if he focuses on it to keep his own spirits up instead. maybe he needs to. because he heard about how his appearance was edited, how it looked, how he seemed too casual for someone coming back after debuting once already, acting like he didn’t leave two companies by now. patting his hands on his pants, he takes another deep breath, looks around for a familiar face.

when she walks in, sakura comes by to greet him and he feels calmer, sated, relaxed again for a moment because seeing sakura reminds him of seeing his little brother again, makes him feel as if he’s seeing his own little sister. he hugs her back, gives her wishes of good luck and affirmation that she’ll do great but saying that to her, seeing the chairs surrounding them remind him this is a competition and it could come down to them in the rapping category. she’s someone he wouldn’t want to go against because he’d feel weakened by it and it reminds him of the conversations he’s had since they left the set last week.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀  PAUSE, REWIND ⭯

“hey dabin—”

“not right now, hyung.”

“oh, okay. yeah, later then.”

he’d stopped by the apartment dabin shared with seik and it didn’t feel like home the way it used to a few years ago before he moved where he is now. it didn’t feel like he could crash on their sofa again and wake up to seik scolding dabin for not telling him when they ran out of something in the kitchen again. everything had its own routine back then, when things were simpler, but not anymore.

seik walks out of his room, hair messy after waking up from his nap because of a particular door slam. “he still upset?”

“…yeah.”

“he’ll get over it.”

“feels different this time.”

“maybe he’s jealous.”

“what?”

chuckling, seik quirks his brows, pouring himself a glass of water and sitting on the edge of the kitchen table. he looks more amused than minho thinks anyone should be when his friends are at odds like this. his exasperation only grows as seik doesn’t speak just yet, taking sips until he finishes, accented by the loud ahh he lets out, the clink of the glass in the sink the only sound until minho’s patience wears out.

“come on, man. explain yourself.”

“you didn’t make the same offer.”

brows furrowing, his face twists in confusion as he follows seik to the living room. “what offer?”

“to give your spot to him.” this time, he’s the one who goes silent and all he can manage is wetting his lips, eyes widening every once in a while before returning to their previous state, just more hesitant in expression.

“i get it.” seik’s voice is softer this time, almost apologetic, the past coming back to him too. “but to dabin… the hyung he followed for so long, the one he defends every time…”

“yeah.” minho doesn’t sound like himself when he says it, nodding his head, fists clenched at his side, and, instead of going to dabin’s room, he leaves the apartment quietly.

going to the only other place he knows as well, the other place he’s as comfortable in on his own, he goes to the dance studio they rent for Kill.U.Strate. it’s empty today, not in as much use as before when they practically lived there now that the guys’ projects began to split off, and he lays there. eyes closed, hands folded on his stomach, legs crossed at his ankles, he just lays there.

he doesn’t have any answers for his family, for his friends, and the joy that he found after finding out he moved on, after getting that call from mijoo when she watched the episode air and hearing her cry because of him again but for a good reason, that joy is slipping from his fingers again. he doesn’t know what to say to kikwang either when he comes into the practice room and he’s sitting up, letting out a slight groan because he’d been in that position for too long. the smallest things could affect your back and posture after all. he should’ve been more careful.

not much has to be said and he’s glad kikwang is a good enough friend to join him, to talk like things are normal, and to not skip a beat when minho asks, “do you wish i could give you my spot on the show?”

“i meant what i texted you. i want you to win this season, hyung.” they spend some time in the practice room just hanging out, dancing a little, before kikwang says it’s all his so he can prepare for the next episode filming. he can’t get a protest out in time before kikwang’s gone and he’s running his fingers through his hair, sighing as he looks around, the room only seeming more glum when he’s alone.

there’s no progress when the door opens an hour later and the last person he expected to come in walks through. there’s a cap over his head, shielding half his face, but minho would recognize him anywhere. sure, some of his friends remind him of his younger brother but, on days like this, dabin pretty much is minho’s little brother and he’s gesturing for him to come over. the hug is brief and dabin sighs as he stands in front of the older.

“i don’t want you to give me your spot.”

“i know.”

“so if y— wait… you know?”

“yeah.”

“seik told you.” dabin gets the same answer and he inhales sharply, exhales slowly. “i thought that’s why you left the apartment without saying anything. i thought you were gonna go…”

the thought is there even if the sentence is left hanging, words dabin doesn’t seem to want to say, and minho shakes his head as he puts a hand on dabin’s shoulder. “i care about ya as much as i did jaebum back then but… i’m not planning on giving my spot up for anyone this time.”

“okay.”

“you jus’ sayin’ that or are you okay with it?”

“i’m good.”

narrowing his eyes, he wraps an arm around dabin’s neck, pulling him closer. “so… you thought it meant i like jaebum more than you?”

“hyung.”

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ PRESS PLAY, BACK TO THE SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING

finding a seat proves more difficult than he thought it would be and when more people settle in, minho realizes he needs to figure out what he’s doing soon. although he could sit near sakura and talk to her, he knows she’s there with friends and that he’d end up distracted. besides, when people were still convinced he broke his contract for dating without his own confirmation, he doesn’t want to add fuel to the fire. instead, he goes another route, ends up recognizing someone from their performance last time and how he liked their vibe.

so he’s standing near them, calling out and going, “hey do you have ig? let me add you” because he’s thought of the first face-to-face impression he wants to make and is committed to it as stupid as it is. the name is given to him and he types it in as quickly as he was told, opening the messages and sending him one.

can i slide into that seat next to you like i slid into ur dms

the laugh he gets is enough of an answer for him to sit down with a proud grin, laughing at himself. even if he told himself not to brush everything off, to not laugh everything off, there are some moments that ought’a be like this. his instagram is distinguishable enough to him as he gets comfy in his new seat and this time he’s the one that bursts into laughter when ian says to him, “anyone ever tell you that you’re a thirst trap?” definitely not the first time and minho shares that sentiment before opening his phone to look at ian’s posts too. it was a good distraction in the meantime but when it appears all the sears are filled, he feels the nerves building up again, his thoughts wander and they go back further than he should let them.

he had a wounded ego years ago. thought too much of himself and his future and yet not enough. a dream to be someone of influence but not decisive enough to follow through, ill-educated about life in general. there are days he still doesn’t feel ready but no one wants to know about that. at least, that’s what he’s told himself for years. no one wants a gloomy gus. no one wants to hang out with the weird kid in the back sulking over the lack of acknowledgment by his father. no one wants to be the friend of someone who dwells too much in the past instead of making sure every moment is a good time. that was the lesson he insisted on from a young age. on days that his brother was too busy, that her sister was annoyed by everything, days when his mother was too tired to cook, days that his little brother whines for someone to play with, he knew what his role was. a mood-maker, a mood-lifter.

the performances he gave years ago were bits and pieces of him, scraps sewn together by a beginner. this song feels more complex, more complete, each thread and stitch made by someone more honest with himself. because it’s okay not to feel like the best sometimes. because he told the audience back then not to let anyone convince them otherwise and ignored that the person who told him that most was himself; the one that convinced him he wasn’t the best he could be was always him.

his mother called him the same night he’d talked to kikwang and dabin in the practice room and his mind is still hazy, he can’t think coherently about a song or anything. whether he should dance or not, but just before that hung up that day, his mother said something he’s brought with him today, on his mind, in his heart, lyrics dancing around in his head, ready to spill from a thirsty mouth— thirsty to tell the truth, to put his truth out there. “don’t keep everything inside.”

when he first heard about the comments, was told about them, read them himself, he thought he should just let it go, push his heart back into its proper place when it lodged itself in his throat. two minutes, two minutes to show who he is again, and answer the concerns that’d been brought up. answers, answers, answers.

in school, we’re taught the same. find the right answer. every time, find the right answer but he doesn’t follow that. rules in black and white, but he operates in shades of gray. that’s how he finds his next song. a simple beat, but lyrics with a powerful message. this isn’t for his ex-group members, for his parents, for his siblings, for his girlfriend, or for his friends. this is for his own clarity by letting his heart purge. instead of layering it with band-aids, wrapping it to be kept safe, he lets his heart bleed onto the page. he adds color to his own world.

                   ●●●●●●      NEXT ON STAGE, CHOI MINHO,  EP. 2 — 7월 4일      ●●●●●●

one more time today, his hands are sweaty. no eminem joke. it doesn’t even cross his mind because his heart is climbing, racing as it tries to scale his throat, and he swallows thickly, wills himself to breathe.

shit, just breathe.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 탓 BLAME ♫ SELF-WRITTEN TIME STAMPS    ( IN ORDER )   0:20 to 1:10   /   1:20 to 1:26   /   1:48 to 2:15   /   3:02 to 3:29   NOTE: his gestures and expressions are similar to that of vinxen’s in the video if not written !

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 난 이 늪에 있어 난 이 늪에 있어 I’M IN THIS SWAMP, I’M IN THIS SWAMP

모두가 날 내려다보는 이 늪에 있어 I’M IN THIS SWAMP WHERE EVERYBODY IS LOOKING DOWN

넌 내 옆에 있어 주기를 바랬던 마음 I JUST WISHED YOU WERE NEXT TO ME

아직 선명히 남아있어 등 돌리던 날 BUT IT’S STILL VERY CLEAR, THE DAY YOU BETRAYED (ME)

나 혼자 늪에 있어 혼자 늪에 있어 I’M ALONE IN THIS SWAMP, ALONE IN THIS SWAMP

저 네티즌가 날 비웃고 하늘 날고 있어 THESE NETIZENS* ARE MAKING FUN OF ME, FLYING UP HIGH

난 알고 있어 애초에 알고 있었어 I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT FROM THE BEGINNING

흐려져가는 시야를 탓하고 있어 I BLAME (IT ON) MY BLURRY VISION ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

nothing confirmed, but it’s easier to believe anything that way, isn’t it? it didn’t matter if sphere spared him the scandal, spared the group the scandal, it would follow him and being lonely has to be about his love life. his age. the audacity he has to come back. how he should be giving other people a shot. he’s seen it all and instead of letting it go, he wears it on his sleeve. he lets the weight of his own guilt show instead of hiding it away with i’m okay and i’m gonna do me like he’s been saying since he walked out of the company one last time.

he stops pretending that he wasn’t hurt by the fact that he did know who outed his relationship, that he did know who wanted to see him fall.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 난 이 늪에 있어 난 이 늪에 있어 I’M IN THIS SWAMP, I’M IN THIS SWAMP

아주 더럽고도 추잡한 이 늪에 있어 I’M IN THIS SWAMP FULL OF TRASH*

냄새도 못 맡을 정도로 떨어져 멀리 GO AWAY SO YOU CAN’T SMELL ME

보이지도 않니 손에 미세한 떨림 CAN’T YOU SEE MY FINGERS SHAKING

넌 변해있어 많이 변해있어 YOU CHANGED A LOT, YOU CHANGED A LOT

나란 그늘을 치우니 안색이 밝아졌어 AS I REMOVED MY SHADE FROM YOU, YOU LOOKED OKAY

위로 혹은 악연으로 포장해낸 것들이 PLEASE BLAME ME FOR WHAT HAPPENED

내 탓이라고 말해줘 제발 EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE MISFORTUNE ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

when he left, he told himself he was laying in the bed he made and it’s why as he raps, he can’t make eye contact, can’t look directly at anyone. he’s avoiding people and it was a tell-tale sign that he wasn’t okay, a sign he ignored for months because he kept busy, said he didn’t see people as often because he was working but it was more than that. he didn’t know how to feel.

it was still his fault in the end. still because of him that he had to leave. reckless, stupid, all the insults he had for himself in high school chase him to this stage again, try to stain the page with spilled ink, with trash, but he holds the pen, keeps it held high the same way he holds onto the microphone.

the news article said he chose to depart from the group. it was right. he just didn’t know how far back the decision was that sealed his fate.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ [NEW HANGUL PENDING] THOUGHT IT WAS UNFAIR THAT NO MATTER HOW HARD

[NEW HANGUL PENDING] TRAINEES AND IDOLS DO, IT’S NOT ENOUGH

확실히 압살하고자 아빠 손 벌려 잡은 지하방에서 손꼽아 기다리고 있어 FOR MY COMPLETE VICTORY, I WAIT IN THE ROOM I BOUGHT WITH THE MONEY MY DAD GAVE ME

난 기대치를 두 배로 올려 I DOUBLE MY EXPECTATIONS

그래야 상실감이 거대해지니까 SO I CAN DISAPPOINT BADLY

그래야 사람이 더 초라해지니까 SO I CAN FEEL MORE MISERABLE

그래야 내가 정말 간절해지니까 SO I AM MORE DESPERATE

아니 얼마나 더 간절해야 합니까 NO, HOW CAN I LOOK EVEN MORE DESPERATE?

박수 갈채는 누굴 위한 겁니까 WHO IS THE APPLAUSE FOR ?

대학에 가라는 아버지 말을 웃어넘기고 대충 끄덕거린 나는 불효자 되는 겁니까? I LAUGHED AND NODDED AT MY DAD* WHEN HE SAID I SHOULD GO TO UNIVERSITY*, AND DOES THAT MAKE ME A BAD SON? ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

there’s so much in life that was given to him and nearly everything left unsaid. how miserable he was about the competitive lifestyle when he was in nova, how he felt left out at times but pretended he was fine. the truth about how he felt when how he told his friends he didn’t mind that they were moving onto bigger and better projects without him, how his family was living their lives without him, how he was missing everything, how he couldn’t see his girlfriend for months, how he felt like life was still being decided for him and he had no clue what the hell he was doing.

he goes here and there, only says no sometimes, and none of it feels right because he’s not saying a damn thing. underneath everything else, underneath the rules he follows, the routine he keeps to, the predictable patterns he lives by, he let himself be defined by black and white, then wondered why he was unhappy living without color, without doing whatever he could to paint everything himself.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 주변에 대입해 그런진 몰라도   I THINK I MESSED* UP MY OWN LIFE

볼수록 뭣같이 느껴져서 MAYBE BECAUSE I COMPARE MY LIFE WITH THE OTHERS

내가 날 가둬둔 상황이 위안이 돼 BLAMING MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING COMFORTS ME

아직 말해줄 게 많아서 BECAUSE I STILL HAVE A LOT TO SAY

모르겠네 사람들이 피해 보인 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I STARTED TO AVOID* PEOPLE

몰라 내가 이 노래를 불러버린 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I STARTED SINGING THIS SONG

몰라 내가 한심하고 어이 없는 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I AM PATHETIC AND DON’T HAVE NERVE*

몰라 내가 여러 기회들을 날린 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I BLEW MY CHANCES AWAY ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

it could’ve started years ago, when he found out things about his past, when he didn’t get into trc on his first audition, when he was rejected the first time by mijoo, when he fought with seik for the first time about being an idol. every time he didn’t take a call from his brother. every time he let himself go this way or that way during training without any real aim or purpose. he did this to himself. that must be why he ended up in rap unit instead of dance unit in convex. his roots are no longer his and he’s not seen as a dancer. training made him a rapper and he secretly let it make him miserable instead of embracing it like he does now, his voice wrecked with emotion as he starts to yell. the peak of the song and he puts the mic stand behind him, mic in his hand as he shouts.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 모르겠네 사람들이 피해 보인 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I STARTED TO AVOID* PEOPLE

몰라 내가 이 노래를 불러버린 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I STARTED SINGING THIS SONG

몰라 내가 한심하고 어이 없는 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I AM PATHETIC AND DON’T HAVE NERVE*

몰라 내가 여러 기회들을 날린 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I BLEW MY CHANCES AWAY ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

he’s social. friendly. a moodmaker. he tells himself this again. everything that made him come as far as he did, all the positive traits he showed off and every negative thing he hid. that’s what he considers different this season. he’ll show all of it. he’ll lay it all out so that he can finally be himself too, so he can leave and be a performer again instead of just going through the motions, filling whatever spot he needs to. the stage feels covered in color, his yells were red, his tears were blue, and when he places the mic back on the stand, bowing deeply, he makes sure to take those colors, his favorite colors, with him, so that his heart doesn’t just bleed but heals.

PROFILE / SKILLS / AUDITION / EPISODE 1 ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EP. 2: PERFORMANCE / INTERVIEW

[starfast]

Cross the Kingdom- Chapter 6

“Consider This Revenge”

Word Count: 4296

Read on Wattpad: Link

More about this project: Intro Post | Other Info

 When Caleb came to his senses, he found himself in a tiny dark room with his cheek pressed against the cold, hard ground. Everything seemed a bit hazy and while he didn’t recognize his surroundings, he had an idea as to where he was. The room had no real discernible features, aside from the metal bars in the door’s peephole and a lack of windows. Caleb was the only thing taking up space in the room. Perhaps it was because there was no room for anything else, or more likely the Patrol just wanted him to be uncomfortable. 

 Caleb tried to bring himself into a sitting position, only to realize that his hands were cuffed behind his back. He struggled for a few moments, but ultimately gave up and lay back down on his side in the position that he had woken up in. He could feel a throbbing pain in his left ankle, and he stared at the base of the door as he tried to recall what he had done to it. His brain seemed to be working in slow motion as the memories came trickling back to him. 

 His memory was a bit fuzzy, but he remembered enough of the major details to remember what had happened. He remembered falling and the Patrol guard injecting something into him. He remembered them breaking into his house, and Eva telling him to--- 

 The thought of his sister sent a jolt of panic through him. What had happened to her? Caleb had never seen her leave the house, which meant one of two things. She was able to find a way to escape without being seen by anyone, or the Patrol had taken her too. Although he wanted it to be the former, he strongly suspected that it was the latter. If she was alive and also in the prison, Caleb figured that she could hear his thoughts. Eva, he thought, if you can hear me please let me know your alive. 

 He knew that it was a shot in the dark, but he still hoped for some kind of response. Caleb waited in anticipation, growing more and more anxious as each second passed. It took him a while to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t going to get a response from his sister. He lay in the cell trying to rationalize with himself, coming up with different reasons as to why Eva hadn’t answered him. Maybe she was sedated still or maybe she just wasn’t paying attention. Maybe she was back in Farrowin still, trying to find a way to rescue him because there was no way that she wouldn’t at least attempt it. Caleb would have done the same for her. 

 Another possibility far worse crept into his mind. Caleb tried to push it away. He didn’t want to think about it, but at the same time he couldn’t ignore that it was a very terrifying possibility. This was the Patrol after all, and Eva had powers. 

 Caleb shook his head. No, that couldn’t be it. He couldn’t lose her. She was the last bit of family that he had left. He wouldn’t believe it to be true until he could be certain. He didn’t want to make an already bad situation even worse by worrying about something that didn’t even happen. Eva was safe. She had to be. 

 Caleb tried not to think of his sister as he lay in the prison cell, but it was hard to think of anything else. His mind eventually wandered back to Farrowin, and the bleak life he had lived there. It felt like an entire lifetime ago that his biggest problem in life was being cheated out of his money by the master sweep. Yet, it could have only been a few days ago at most where he was sweeping out the chimneys of Farrowin. He had always thought that he would have preferred anything over working as a chimney sweep, but here he was now. He would have given anything to go back to work. Even spending long hours climbing up tight chimneys was better than being at the mercy of the Patrol. At the very least there had been an element of familiarity to his work. Every day he would wake up at the crack of dawn, sweep chimneys until sunset before getting paid and going home. Here, all he knew was that whatever the Patrol intended to do with him would not be good. 

 Caleb had never had a proper education. Much like a lot of the slum kids in Farrowin, his parents taught him everything he needed to know. He was lucky that his parents knew how to read and write, because that was a luxury that few slum kids had. His parents had taught him everything that he knew about the Patrol. Most of what he knew was based off of rumours and speculation, but it all boiled down to the same thing: The Patrol wanted people like him gone. Not just him, but everyone else who had powers. He had heard all kinds of stories about how they had killed their victims. Sometimes it was quick and painless. Other times the deaths were long and drawn out, making their victims suffer for as long as possible until they eventually died. Although Caleb couldn’t say with any certainty how much of it was actually true, he had an uneasy feeling that he might soon find out. 

 Right when Caleb thought that things couldn’t drive himself any deeper into a pit of misery and despair, he heard the soft click as the door to his cell unlocked. The door swung open and two men stood in the doorway. They both wore the same bright red swallowtail coats with two rows of black buttons. The one who stood in the middle of the doorway was tall and slender. He had piercing blue eyes, and blonde hair that was starting to turn grey. He also wore a patch on his right sleeve-- two gold swords crossed in a V shape on a black shield. The other man was slightly shorter but evidently younger, as his angular face showed was free of any wrinkles aside from the slight crease between his eyebrows that were stuck in some sort of permanent scowl. His dark brown hair was slicked back and didn’t have even a single strand of grey as far as Caleb could tell. Caleb also noticed that this man didn’t wear the patch on his sleeve, but their outfits were otherwise identical.

 “Get up,” The blonde man barked, “And don’t you dare try to run, or I guarantee you’ll regret it.” 

 Caleb struggled into a kneeling position. His ankle still ached, which made it hard for him to get to his feet. He tried a couple times to find a way to stand up without putting too much weight on his injured ankle. 

 Evidently, he was taking too long because the blonde man glared at his younger companion. “Jack, would you help him up already,” He snapped.

 The dark haired man stepped forwards. He grabbed Caleb by the collar of his shirt, still blackened with soot from his work. “Get up!” He shouted at him. 

 Caleb whimpered as he was shoved forwards, partly out of fear but partly from the pain when he stumbled forward and was forced to bear weight on his injured ankle. 

 Jack seized him by the shoulder, holding him so tightly that Caleb felt like his bones would shatter from the man’s firm grasp. The other man grabbed his other shoulder, not quite as tight which was somehow equally unsettling. 

The two men began to usher him down the long dark hallway. Both sides were lined with wooden doors, identical to the one that led into Caleb’s cell. There were oil lanterns interspersed between every couple of cell doors to provide a little bit of light in the shadowy hall. Tiny flames flickered inside of the lanterns, casting shadows down the hall. If it came down to it, Caleb could easily manipulate the flames into a much larger blaze that would allow him to escape. He put some serious consideration into it, and was waiting for the right moment when the blonde haired man tightened his grip on him. 

 “Don’t you dare think about trying to run,” He reminded. 

  Jack shook his head. “They always think about it,” he said to the older man, “Even after we tell them not to. Sure makes our job more interesting.” 

 “True,” the blonde man said, “But I don’t reckon this one would get very far.” 

 As much as Caleb hated to admit it, but he did have a point. He could barely walk on it, so running was out of the question. In addition to that, he had never been a very fast runner to begin with. Even if he could run fast enough to outrun his captors-- and that was a big if-- he would have to figure out if Eva was in the prison and which of the hundreds of cells she was in. The thought of escape drifted further and further out of his reach the more he contemplated it. And, he realized, he still had his hands cuffed behind his back. Escaping the prison was about as likely has the master sweep paying him in the six figures at this point. 

 They reached a large metal door at the end of the hall. Jack kept a firm grip on Caleb’s shoulder he pushed the heavy door open. The door opened with a loud groan only to reveal the most unpleasant looking room that Caleb had ever seen. The walls were lined with racks of whips, spears, knives, battle axes, maces, and several other types of weapons that he didn’t know the name of that all looked like something out of Caleb’s worst nightmares. He spotted a couple bows and arrows, far nicer than the homemade ones he had used in Farrowin, but no doubt used for more nefarious purposes. More disturbing than that was the wooden platform with the rope tied in a noose dangling above it. The site of it sent shivers down his spine as he wondered how many people had died in this exact room. 

 Caleb couldn’t take his eyes off the sight of the wooden scaffold. He had heard that back in the day there were gallows in every city. Some of the larger cities even had multiple scaffolds set up, always areas where that drew in a lot of people so that the Patrol could really set an example to the public. The one in Farrowin had allegedly been set up in the city’s Main Square, but no evidence of it remained. At least if they were going to kill him it wouldn’t be a public execution like it would have been when the Patrol’s reign was at its peak. The last thing he needed was to have the entire city turning against him, humiliating him moments before death. The thought didn’t bring him much comfort since the two men would probably humiliate him anyways. 

 “I changed my mind,” The Blonde Man said, “We won’t kill him today.” 

 Caleb let out an involuntary sigh of relief. 

 “Don’t get all excited, boy,” The man said, “We’re still going to have some fun with you.” 

 “What’s the plan then, Victor?” Jack asked. 

 Victor examined the rows of weapons and torture devices. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully and said,“Go draw up some water. Quickly now.” 

 Jack grabbed a metal bucket and left the room, leaving Caleb alone with Victor. He returned a few moments later with the bucket filled with water. He dumped its contents into a larger wooden tub before exiting the room with the smaller metal bucket again. 

 “This is ridiculous, Jack,” Victor scoffed when the younger man returned for the third time, “We’re going to be here all day.” 

 “If I’d known you’d wanted me to do this I’d have done it sooner,” Jack replied in a snarky tone. 

 “Go find someone else to help you,” He ordered, “Douglas should be around, but I’m going to go ahead and get started.” 

 Jack scowled before he left the room for the fourth time, taking the metal bucket with him. 

 “This building wasn’t meant to be a prison,” Victor said after Jack slammed the door shut, leaving them alone in the sinister room. “Back in the day, we used to serve the King. We even used to be called the King’s Patrol. Did you know that?” 

 Caleb nodded, too terrified to speak. 

 “I come from a big military family,” Victor continued, “Back when we were in our prime, everyone knew the name Valeer. My great grandfather worked closely with King Isidore, but when his son came into power… well, I’m sure you know.” 

 Caleb only vaguely knew about the Patrol’s downfall. King Isidore’s reign came to an abrupt end after he had been assassinated. When his son, Enoch came into power his first act as King had been to shut down the Patrol. Caleb had heard that all of the Patrol’s high ranking officials had been put on trial only to be found guilty and were executed, but if Victor was who he claimed to be then that was clearly not the case. 

 Victor let go of him and began walking to the other side of the room, towards a cast iron stove. He kept his eye on Caleb the entire time, making sure that he didn’t try to run away. Caleb remained frozen in place as he watched Victor open the door to the little stove. 

 “Do you know what we used to do to people like you?” Victor asked as he tried to get a match started. 

 Caleb hesitated before shaking his head. He had always thought that the Patrol just killed their victims, but Victor had made it clear that he wasn’t going to do that. Yet. 

 “You’re dangerous, as I’m sure you know,” He tossed the lit match into the stove before picking up the bellow that was hanging up just beside the stove. “Sometimes we liked to let people know who they should look out for.” He picked up a metal rod with an upside down triangle on one end. He stuck the end with the triangle into the fire, and at that moment, Caleb felt sick as he realized what was happening. 

Caleb glanced over to the door. It wasn’t too late to run. He could try to escape. 

 The door swung open and Jack returned with another blonde haired man. They both held a metal bucket which they poured into the wooden tub. As the pair headed to the door, Victor called out to Jack. 

 “Tie him up before you go,” He said, nodding towards Caleb, “I have a feeling he won’t want to cooperate.” 

 Jack gave a halfhearted salute before he grabbed Caleb and pulled him towards the wall. He forced him to Caleb knees before he shackled him to the wall. 

 Caleb started trembling as Victor pulled the branding iron out of the fire. He could feel his fingertips growing warm again as Victor began walking towards him. He clenched his fists trying to retain control over his powers. They weren’t going to help him in this situation. He had learned the hard way that just because he could create fires and control them, didn’t necessarily mean that his flames wouldn’t hurt him. His skin would burn just like everyone else’s and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. 

 Jack began unbuttoning the buttons on Caleb’s shirt. He tried to pull away, but Jack grabbed him and held him steady. Caleb still struggled as Victor drew nearer with the red hot iron. 

 “Hold still,” Jack demanded, “It’ll be easier for all of us that way.” 

 Caleb did his best to give in and remain still, but it was difficult when he knew what was coming. Jack pulled back Caleb’s shirt exposing his bare shoulder. His body still shook, and he wasn’t sure if it was because he was so terrified or because of how cold the room was. The cold air crept over his exposed skin like the gentle waves of Lake Farrow lapping up against the shores. 

 “Consider this revenge,” Victor said with a smirk, “You deserve this.” 

 Caleb pulled against his restraints in one final attempt to escape. At the back of his mind, he knew that he would be unsuccessful, but every fiber of his being was telling him to run.

 Jack grabbed him in a tight bear hug, trying to keep him still. “I said sit still, you dumbass!” He shouted, “Where the hell do you think you’re going anyways?” Caleb continued to struggle against the man’s tight grip. 

 It wasn’t until Victor slapped him hard across the face that he finally gave in. It was useless to try and escape, especially since he was still chained to the wall. There was no escape this time. He was just going to have to endure it. 

 “The more you try to escape the more we’re going to hurt you,” Victor said, “Understand?” 

 Caleb nodded. 

 “Good,” Victor said, “Let go of him Jack. Let’s get started.” 

 Jack let go of him, but Caleb didn’t dare to move. He closed his eyes. Maybe it would be better if he couldn’t see it coming. At this rate, the branding was inevitable. It wouldn’t kill him, he reminded himself. He would get through it. 

 Caleb felt the heat radiating off of the branding stick before it even touched his skin. It was bearable at first, providing him with some warmth in the chilly room. It didn’t take long before the heat became uncomfortable but there was no way to escape it. Caleb’s breath came in short gasps as the heat grew more intense still. 

 He knew the second the iron made contact with his skin. Even though his eyes remained clenched shut he never saw it happen, but he did feel it. 

 Caleb had acquired several minor burns while he had been learning to control his powers. At the time he thought that the tiny burns on his hands and arms were the most painful thing he had experienced, but they paled in comparison to Victor’s branding iron. Red hot pain seared through him, spreading across his body with the intensity of a wildfire. He could smell the pungent scent of his own flesh burning and sizzling at the mercy of the iron. And he screamed. He screamed louder than he knew that he was capable of. His anguished cries echoed all throughout the room as he begged them to stop. All he wanted was for it to end, but it seemed to go on for an eternity. 

 When Victor finally pulled the stick away, Caleb’s throat was raw and dry from his screaming. He hadn’t even realized that he had been crying until he opened his eyes and felt the tears streaming down his cheeks. He drew in several shaky breaths as the room seemed to spin around him. 

 “Impressive,” Victor said, though if he truly was impressed nothing about his tone body language indicated it. 

 Jack nodded in agreement. “He really gave our last guy a run for his money.” 

 “Didn’t scream quite as loud,” Victor replied, “But he came pretty close.” 

 Caleb had collapsed to the ground. He lay on his side still trying to deal with the pain. It was as if a lightning bolt had shot him right through the chest. He didn’t even want to look at what the damage to his skin looked like. 

 “We’re not done with you yet,” Jack said, realizing that Caleb was no longer in a kneeling position. 

 Jack went over to the tub of water that he had filled up earlier and dragged it a few feet so that it sat in front of Caleb. He helped him into a kneeling position in front of the wooden tub. Caleb tried to comply so that Jack wouldn’t get as rough with him. He didn’t want to have to deal with any more pain than he had to. While Jack didn’t get quite so aggressive this time, Caleb still found himself wincing in pain after Jack’s manhandling him. 

 Caleb stared into the large tub. There was nothing sinister as far as he could tell. He could just barely make out his forlorn reflection staring back at him. His face was still covered with soot aside from the pale white streaks that ran down his cheeks from where his tears had washed away the debris. 

 Without warning, Jack suddenly forced Caleb’s head down into the tub of water. The cold pierced through him, as his lungs screamed for air. Caleb struggled against Jack’s hand, but the man just held him under for longer. 

 Right when Caleb thought that he couldn’t take it any longer, Jack grabbed him and pulled him out of the water. Caleb drew in a deep breath, trying to draw in as much air as he could. 

 “The last time we had this much fun was four years ago,” Jack said before forcing Caleb’s head back into the tub of freezing water. Just like the last time, he held Caleb’s head underwater and right when he was on the verge of passing out-- when he couldn’t take it anymore-- Jack would pull him out. 

 “We only take the brand out for the real trouble makers,” Jack said. He forced Caleb back underwater once more. He repeated the sequence a few times, while Victor watched on. Every time Jack pulled him up, he would speak to Caleb and tell him more about their last victim.

 “Our last one screamed like you,” he said, “He also cried like a little baby---” 

 He forced Caleb underwater

 “He begged us to stop, but we kept going---”

 “Told us we couldn’t do this, but we did it anyways---”

 “He thought we were going to kill him, but he took care of that himself---”

 “He drowned in the river just shortly after he escaped---” 

 “Don’t know if it was an accident---”

 “Or if he was so miserable after what we did that he just decided to end his own sad life---”

 “But let that serve as a warning to you.” 

 “Jack!”  It was Victor who spoke this time, “That’s enough for now.” 

 Caleb’s breath came in short gasps. The air almost tasted sweet in his mouth after being deprived of it for so long. His dark brown hair clung to his forehead and his teeth chattered from the cold. He could see dark circles dancing at the edge of his vision. His whole body trembled as he prayed that this was the last of it. He couldn’t take any more of this. 

 “Take him back to his cell,” Victor ordered. 

 Jack took out a key, unshackling Caleb at last. Caleb didn’t try to run this time. It was no longer a realistic option. He wasn’t even sure he could stand up on his own at this point. He had completely forgotten about his injured ankle until he tried to walk on it. The pain from being branded like cattle had taken his mind off of the twisted ankle. It hadn’t gotten any better, but it paled in comparison to what he had just gone through. 

 Jack led him back down to his cell. Perhaps Caleb had imagined it, but somehow the hall seemed to have gotten even longer. It seemed to stretch on for an eternity as Jack led him back to the tiny cell at a painstakingly slow pace. Caleb almost hated to admit it, but he wanted to be back in the cell. After all that he had been put through he just wanted to be alone without Victor and Jack hurting him both physically and emotionally. 

 Jack finally opened up the door to his cell and shoved Caleb in. Caleb sank to his knees, as Jack slammed the door behind him. He heard the faint click as Jack locked the door. 

 “One more thing,” Jack said, peering at him through the bars, “That girl you came in with, she’s your sister, isn’t she?” 

 Caleb nodded. He had almost forgotten about Eva. All he could do was hope that she wasn’t as scared or as hurt as he was. Both Victor and Jack had mentioned that they rarely took out their branding stick, so if they had hurt her then at least it wasn’t as bad as the way they hurt him.

 “We killed her,” Jack said bluntly, “Hung her this morning. It was very quick and painless. Just thought you should know.” Then he left. 

 Of all the horrible thing that Jack had done to him, it was his words that hurt the most. Caleb curled up on the floor of his cell and began to sob uncontrollably. He was truly alone. He had no family left. Eva had died in the horrible prison, and Caleb knew he probably would too. No one would miss him; back at home he was just a lowly chimney sweep with no real friends. He wouldn’t be surprised if no one even noticed he was gone. 

 How were they allowed to get away with this, Caleb wondered as he lay on the cold ground of is cell. Did the King know that this was even happening? Would it make a difference if he did? They had killed Eva, and Caleb knew he would be next. Caleb didn’t even try to find a silver lining. He didn’t have anything that was worth staying alive for. He curled up in a little ball, utterly defeated and cried until he couldn’t cry anymore. 

--

Author's note: Sorry for uploading this a little late. I was super busy yesterday and I had less time for editing than I thought I would. I'll try to be more diligent in the future about letting everyone know if I won't be posting on time. Anyways, thanks for being patient. The next chapter should be ready on the 12th (so back to my regular posting schedule). 

--

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Next Chapter (Coming Dec. 11 2019)

Tag list: No one yet, but please let me know if you’d like to be added.

[selenecrawford]

Selene Crawford Stories

Hi, its me again lol. Well, I know I made a post saying that I might not write but after seeing so many awesome pages and received good feedback on my MC Selene I decided to share a modern little story about Selene and the Ikesen men. This is a short story on how she met them. Apologies in advance, I just wanted to share a bit more about Selene and I thought this might work. If someone wants to use my character please let me know. And thanks for any support. This is for entertainment purpose only. I hope you like it.

Warnings: There is profanity on the story. Thanks.

   Selene arrived to the location of the interview. The call came when she was finishing taking everything to the storage so most of her suits we on a her suitcase on the house. The timing was off and luck not on her side since that day 3 weeks ago. Her dreams, hopes and job went down the drain on her wedding day. Her now ex-fiance Malcolm decided to cancel the wedding...at the wedding when his beautiful high class mistress Charlotte interrupted the ceremony.

    Stopping her trail of thoughts she decided to give all , so she could to get this new job. There were only one problem her clothes. Being an average height of 5 feet 5 inches tall Selene look like any average woman. Not too thin, but neither too thick, she decided that day to use a pair of denim shorts with a white tank top and a  red and black shirt tied to her waist. A pair of red converse with black knee high socks finished her assemble. No make up and her black hair into a ponytail was the rest of her look. Holding a folder with her resume and a backpack as a purse she headed for the location. The interview was at 2:30 pm. And the call was made at 2:00. Since the location of the storage center was near she couldnt go back to her home which was at least more than 20 minutes by car in the other side of the city. Selene hated the though of being late so decided to risk it all.

“ I know this is not going to work. But I can't refuse this interview. Why? Why? Oh God, this is going to be so bad.” Though Selene while entering the building.

   Located on the business district ODA Forces Inc. was the top of the line service and Lawyers firm on the city. Managed by Nobunaga Oda and Hideyoshi Toyotomi. The duo managed to make cases flying on high profiles with a high rate of success. Not only they had a successful Law firm but also a detective agency which helped with their cases. Masamune Date and Mitsuhide Akechi were then ones in charge. While Mitsurani Ishida was the researcher for the firm. Selene , had always known about them a group that was a perfect machine to seek justice. It was after the “incident” as she now calls it that she decided to apply as an receptionist. It was a simple job but at least it will let her start again. Her now ex in laws being one of the most well known families in the city made sure to bury her reputation on the ground. They never liked her in the first place. But then neither she. Orphan, and self made, Selene never had an easy life but then again she never asked for it or complained about it. Although, sometimes she wish destiny will at least might take a bit easy Selene tried to clear her thoughts and be optimistic, but one disaster after another. Was proven to be difficult. Her belief was bad things came in trios but this was getting far already ridiculous. While entering the waiting room for the interview she could heard the sound of the phone ringing non stop.  A man with white short silver hair was trying to answer while a pair of women were trying their best to ignore the situation.

  Selene couldn't stay inactive, walking directly to the desk, she took the phone from the man and pushed the button.

“Oda Forces Inc. How can I help you?” she answered on her most professional tone.

  Scanning the desk she found the a couple of agendas and a notebook. She took the notebook and pen instead and started scribbling. In less than 10 minutes she already took 5 calls and made some appointments. The  man next to her was looking in silence while trying to decipher her writings. Meanwhile, the other women started to look at her in mocking stares.

(Yes I know, I know, I wanna go home) thought Selene giving a small smile.

When the last call ended the man politely address her.

“Little girl thank you for your help but where is your mother?”

Selene took a moment to register the words. Slowly she closed her eyes and counted to 10. Again, she was confused by a minor. In rare occasions, that will warrant a scolding but right now she only wanted to finish the interview and go home.

“I’m sorry I'm 30 years old and my name is Selene Crawford. I'm here for the interview I was called today.” good she managed not to bit his head off.

The man opened his eyes wide and a red shade began to cover his cheeks embarrassed. Trying to make up for the mistake he started to look at the desk which look more like a war zone. Her compulsive nature to get everything organized mixed with the anxiety she was trying to control took the best of her. She intermediately began to organize and get the desk in order. Trying to not to look like a psycho she gave the man a sweet smile and ask.

“Sorry, but it seems that you need help. Do you mind?” and soon she found the waiting list, wrote her name last and kept organizing the desk.

Mitsurani didnt know what to do, he was ashamed to confused her with a little girl. But at the same time her outfit was so out of place. Still, he appreciated her help. In less than 10 minutes the desk was cleaned, organized and everything within reach. The notes she took she passed it to the different agendas and then destroyed the note. The phone started to sound again. Without hesitation Selene began taking notes and making appointments. She was moving naturally like she own the place. Without interrupting, Mitsurani stood up and went to Hideyoshi's office where the interviews were held.

Nobunaga and Hydeoshi were trying to be professional with the candidate but the woman was dressed more for a cocktail party than for an office job. Her eyes looked anywhere and seemed to take their clothes off. She was really undressing them both and Hydeoshi as well as Nobunaga were at their limit. Since the last receptionist quit the organization at the office was suffering and Mitsurani was not the most organized one.

“Well Miss, thank you for your time we will contact you soon.” Nobunaga's tone was deep and polite. With an indifference that left no place for a change of mind.

The woman still giving sensual looks took the leave with a wink to Hydeoshi. With a sighs Hydeoshi took a notebook to fan himself while Nobunaga rolled his eyes.

“If this is what the process is going to be I'm going to call the agency. This is a loss of my time.” said Nobunaga already loosing his patience.

Although he enjoyed feminine company, he also knew how to divide business and pleasure. And Right now, getting someone competitive was being almost impossible. Scratching the name on the list he was going to call Mitsurani when he opened the door after a soft knock.

“Nobunaga Sama, Hydeoshi Sama, I think we found our candidate.”

Before he could ask something, a woman in shorts, tennis and tank top with a shirt tied to her waist made her entrance. He could see her hair tied on a pony with a scar crossing her nose, giving her a younger appearance and emerald eyes that were now looking darker than usual. Her whole face seemed relax but her stance make her look uncomfortable, but she managed not to let it know at simple view.

“Excuse, Mr. Oda, you have a call on line 2. And there is a business dinner canceled by Mrs. Kimeko. She will call back to re schedule. Also, Miss York called and quote “ You are bastard I hope you rot in hell fucking asshole.” End quote. I organized the archives on the office now they are by order I left the list and where they are so you wont have trouble finding them. Mr. Akechi also called but he said he will be here in a couple of minutes so no message left. Mr. Date indicated that he will bring food by 3 pm. And last Mister Takeda came but since you were busy left and took all the candidates on the waiting room with him...” - the woman took a short silence before continue.- “ So...Im the only one left for the interview.”

Once Selene finished the sentence then an uncomfortable silence, took place.

The phone started to sound again and Selene went back to answered it. It took some seconds to the men shake their heads and going to see what the hell was really going on.

@colivara @datemasamunemaiwaifu @unstoppablelinda @epicdragonlady @masa-little-kitten @ikesenhell @la-piperina @mikamiw

[ssnakey-b]

FF8 English-French translarison, part 22: dinner with a side of quest.

Welcome back, everyone! As promised last time, today, we’ll be finishing up on some side quests.

Starting with the Centra ruins, we have Odin. In the English version, he speaks in a very antiquated tone, the type that Hollywood writers think people spoke like in medieval times but is really just modern speak with some Renaissance-era words thrown in. That does not happen in French, where he speaks in a formal but still fairly modern tone. His speech is also slightly different.

English:

Excellent, prepare thyself. The weak shall perish. The strong shall triumph. Prevail over my sword, and I shall grant it to thee. For honor... let us fight!”

French:

Perfect. Prepare yourselves. There is no place for the weak in this world. Triumph over my strength and I shall swear allegiance to you. En garde, impudent mercenaries.

I do like the added implication that Odin has some level of omnipotence or mind-reading or something, and knows that they are mercenaries as a result. And while I’m at it, what he says when you defeat him is also different:

English:

Thou art strong, mortals! I shall grant thee my powers. Call upon me in times of trouble...

French:

You know the art of war, mortal. I hand you my humble powers. Summon me should strength fail you.

I also went for Tonberry King afterwards, though there aren’t many differences. Except for this!

Yes, in French, they are called Tomberry. With an M instead of an N. Now that’s probably just to do with French grammatical rules, but I remember being very surprised to learn it’s spelled with an N in English considering it just seems to make sense for their name to include the word “tomb”, seeing how in every game they appear, they tend to roam tombs, or ruins, or creepy dungeons, etc... also, if I recall, even in English, a B is usually preceded by an M rather an N. Oh well.

Oh and by the way, this specific creature is actually known as Tomberry Senior in French during combat, although the full name doesn’t fit afterwards.

And that’s it for the Centra ruins! Now let’s move on to Winhill. And first, i’d like to bring up this freaking cat:

Yeah, in  case you missed it, the bloody thing talks, and it doesn’t seem to think it’s weird. I guess that IS a very “cat” thing to do to be able to talk but just not being arsed with it most of the time. And yes, it does talk in meows, so you may be wondering, does it do the same in French?

Sure does! And it actually says pretty much the same thing in both versions, and it never fails to baffle me in either version.

Now for something far more rational: ghosts. And here we have another case of the French version being a lot more down-to-earth with the way characters speak, as this lady doesn’t say “pu-lease” or anything simila  in French. She just says “A ghost? Come on, now... those don’t exist... right?”. Well lady, hate to burst your bubble, but I met one after beating up two minotaurs. It gave me playing cards.

There’s also an odd little difference where in English, she says she noticed stuff being rearranged by itself whereas in French, she instead mentions the closet getting tidied up on its own, which doesn’t sound like a problem to me and also sounds especially funny when you know the conclusion to this quest.

This isn’t really a translation difference, but I love this bit too much to ignore it. If you go there with Quistis in the group and examine the armour, you’ll get this text box (it’s the same in French)... only for Squall to immediately turn to Quistis and tell her to cut it out, and she dejectedly admits to being the one to be saying it, seemingly disappointed that Squall figured it out so quickly.

I love the implications of this scene, not only that Quistis randomly knows to throw her voice, but that she uses that for pranks, and apparently does it frequently enough that Squall immediately knows it’s her. It seems there are A LOT of untold stories behind this moment, many of which I assume end up with Squall being embarrassed. And I also love that Linoa swallows it hook, line and sinker, and then quickly looks away in embarrassment once Squall exposes Quistis.

And hey, there IS a little bit of a difference, as in English, Linoa tells Quistis “Don’t scare me like that!”, but in French, she’s a bit more direct, telling her “Quit fooling around!”.

Another small difference. In the French version, this lady’s lines are shorter. In English, she asks “how are you today?” at first and “Are you here to visit an acquaintance?”, which she doesn’t in the French version. Don’t why, but if I had to hazard a guess, I’d say it’s due to technical limitations as they could probably only fit so many words in one box (and French is often quite wordier than English).

Newt we have these DISGUSTING FRAUDS. In English, after Squall informs them that they’re actual SeeDs, in English, the fake SeeD tells them “Hahaha... So that makes you our junior. Keep up the good work. Hahaha...” but in French, we don’t really have that concept of calling younger students your “juniors”, so instead, he says “Ah ah ah, you’re still green. Make sure you listen in class, kid!”.

But here’s the most interesting part, especially since I forgot about it in both versions. When you talk to the one in the cadet outfit (who I’m pretty sure still tries to make people believe he’s a graduate, bonus points for a detail that makes the joke work even better), he mentions someone helping the town in both version, but the way he brings it up is quite different.

In English, he says “I’ve heard there’s an undercover figure that helps this town out. I wonder if this person has some kind of sentimental attachment to this place?”.

However, in French, he says “They say a mysterious stranger gives this town a hand. I wonder what their motive could be.”

Now I’m guessing that in both versions, they’re referring to Laguna, but notice how in English, the way they put it seems to imply he physically comes to the town to help them out, whereas in French, the term “mysterious stranger” seems to imply that he’s supporting them from afar, in more indirect ways.

And assuming they are indeed talking about Laguna (who else could it be?), I like that second interpretation better. First, even for FF8, it feels a bit weird to me to imagine Laguna coming into town in a disguise and somehow fooling everyone. Not only do I have a hard time believing nobody in Winhill would recognize him, let’s not kid ourselves, Laguna isn’t a subtle man, and he can’t do “undercover”. On top of that, if he physically came to Winhill, I also don’t buy that he wouldn’t have found out about Ellone & Squall’s whereabouts, and that he wouldn’t have gone after them in turn.

But if you think of it as him sending anonymous help, perhaps through various channels, from Esthar (fpr example, it would make sense for him to send packages to Horizon, who would then send it to WInhill), it makes a lot more sense. It could have taken him a very long time to even learn that Raine died, and considering Winhillians are probably not to keen on speaking to Estharians after two invasions, multiple deaths and at least one child kidnapping, he probably wouldn’t have learned the details of how she died, thus not knowing that he had a son, and similarly would have lost Ellone’s trail (because I don’t believe for a second that Laguna wouldn’t drop everything to find his kids if he knew where they were). And if you consider it that way, it also feels more like he’s doing it as a way to apologize for indirectly causing Raine’s death and not being here for her when she last needed it.

And on that bombshell, we end this entry. Sorry it’s a short one after such a long wait, I thought there would be more to it than that, but as it turns out, the two versions are actually quite similar on all those parts. Hope you had fun reading it though and next time will definitely make up for this small update as we will begin a big undertaking: the Battle of the Gardens. Yeah, this will doubtlessly provide A LOT of material, especially since just from memory, I remember some fairly big difference that I’ll have a lot to say about, so it’s probably going to be covered across multiple parts.

I’m very excited about it, and in the meantime, don’t hesitate to comment on the differences, ask questions either through the “ask” feature on my blog or by commenting on these posts in some manner and if you enjoy the translarison, please make sure to reblog it as it really, really helps its visibility, especially now that Tumblr has decided that the only thing that was allowed to be screwed on its site is the users.

Goodbye! Have a nice day!

[callumturncr]

A Different Path [Sirius Black AU] - Part 7

Summary: Post-graduation AU in which the reader, Lily and The Marauders have just joined the Order of the Phoenix. As tensions are at its highest in the First Wizarding War, the reader, who likes Sirius Black more than she would like to admit, is framed for the murder of Marlene McKinnon.

Parts: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8

Author’s Note: Firstly, thank you so so so much for 200 followers, I love every single one of you very much. Secondly, the next part (last part!!) will not be posted next week but the week after - I have a bunch of tests in school and I need the weekend to study!! Sorry for this delay but I will make Part 8 longer than the others to make up for it :) Also, if you would like to be added to my permanent taglist (or the one just for this piece of writing) please let me know!!

Gif is not mine. Words: 2.9k

Y/N was early.

She stood at the doorway of the Potter’s for about ten minutes, tightly clutching the parcel containing Harry’s gift. She pondered walking around Godric’s Hollow to pass the time but at last, decided against it and knocked.

Lily would have been easy to explain to, Y/N had thought it all out in her head. She would simply say she’d come to see if they needed any help setting up (which wasn’t entirely untrue). Instead, it was Sirius who’d opened the door. Y/N swallowed her words and stared. He seemed to be as equally shocked to see her. After a moment, he stepped aside to let her in.

Lily and James Potter had a lovely home. Y/N had of course been here before but it looked like a different place entirely now that it was illuminated. The hallway led into a slightly bigger room with a flight of steps in one corner, a door to the living room on the right and a door to the kitchen to the left. Picture frames littered the cream coloured walls, most of them depicting Lily, James and their son, as well as Remus and Sirius. There was a fire roaring somewhere too, filling the whole place with a soft heat. Y/N was strangely reminded of the Gryffindor common room with its own blazing fireplace and the couches surrounding it – all that was missing was the scarlet gold paneling and the chatter of students.

But no matter how welcoming or warm, Y/N couldn’t shake off the image of the house it had been when she’d come here last. Sirius, as if sensing her thoughts, cleared his throat and gestured to the room on the right.

The state of the living room left Y/N bewildered. Decorations lay strewn across the floor and miniature models of Quidditch players, clearly enchanted, zoomed back and forth in front of the fire. Harry Potter sat on a pile of bright blue streamers in the centre of it all, watching the little figures with rapt attention.

“Did I get the timing wrong?” Y/N couldn’t help but ask, “It looks like the party just finished.”

Sirius gave half a snort. “Erm, n–no you’re fine. I was waiting for Remus to arrive before putting them up.”

Nodding in acknowledgement, she placed the parcel down on one of the couches. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the relief on Sirius’ face as clear as day and felt slightly guilty. I should apologize, she thought, I shouldn’t have thrown him out like I did.

Harry had turned from watching the Quidditch players to the new voice in the room. Upon seeing Y/N, he paused as if searching for some sort of recognition before letting out a small squeal. She bent down as he wobbled over, arms outstretched.

“Hello,” she murmured softly. Sitting down, she scooped him up onto her lap and the faint smell of baby powder flooded her nose. Harry held onto her hand with his small fists and cooed at her. “It’s nice to see you again too.”

“You’ve met?” Sirius asked as he took a seat opposite them.

“Lily brought him when she came to see me.”

Y/N wasn’t sure how to continue on from that. She remembered how fraught with tension their last meeting had been and thought that this moment would’ve been the perfect one to bring up her regret but Sirius spoke up.

“Right.” He cleared his throat again. “He likes you.”

The softest of smiles broke out on Y/N’s face and it startled Sirius momentarily. He took in her appearance in the time her gaze was fixed on Harry – she was very thin, like she hadn’t eaten properly for some time. Her cheekbones stood out sharper than before and dark shadows lined her eyes which in themselves were hollow, vacant. Her smile, once so radiant that it could’ve lit up an entire room, seemed too big for her face. The girl he’d known what felt like lifetimes ago was nowhere to be found.

Sirius wondered if she would ever find her way back to that girl again.

Y/N’s eyes flicked to Sirius more times than she would’ve liked to admit. He was looking at her so intently that he could’ve burned a hole through her. She noticed him toying with his fingers nervously, fingers which now had strange little runes tattooed on them. Frowning a little, she spotted another swirl of ink peeking out through the buttons at the top of his shirt.

“Do they mean anything?” she asked, gesturing to the little marks just above his knuckles, stark black against his pale skin. Sirius stopped fidgeting immediately. He seemed to think for a moment before shrugging.

“Not really.”

“How many do you have?”

“A fair few.”

“Including my name in a heart, right on his chest.”

James Potter had sauntered through the living room door, barely batting an eye at the mess. Ruffling Sirius’ carefully styled hair, he plopped down on the couch next to them and smiled at Y/N.

“I don’t doubt it,” Y/N replied quietly. The familiarity of their banter gave her some comfort, as it always had. She tried to smile back. Lily’s head peeked through the corner and her face lit up once she saw Y/N.

“You’re here!” she beamed as she rushed towards her, “No one told me, I would’ve come down sooner!”

“Yeah I thought I would come a bit early in case you needed any help,” replied Y/N.  

“Oh yeah, come,” Lily started back towards the way she’d entered. “Sirius and James do you mind doing the last of the decorations?”

“We’ll have it up don’t worry.” James waved his hand airily. Y/N could tell by the urgency in his voice and the little looks they were giving each other that he wanted to discuss something with Sirius.

“Here,” Sirius offered, holding out his arms for Harry so she could go. She handed him over, ignoring the brush of their hands. Straightening up, she followed Lily out of the room.

“I didn’t think you’d come,” Lily breathed once they were out of earshot. “Not after Sirius told us about… well you know, your argument.”

Y/N shrugged.

“I’m sorry if it was awkward back there. If I’d known you would be here so early I would’ve answered the door myself. I thought it was Remus.”

“It’s alright, I couldn’t put off seeing them forever.”

She watched Lily wave her wand, the cups filling automatically at her command. Y/N did hers without magic and if her old friend found it odd, she didn’t say anything. Lily was simply content to be in her presence once again, after having spent ages with only the four boys.

“Are a lot of people coming?”

“Mainly people you know, people from the Order. And a few other friends of ours,” she paused at the look on Y/N’s face. “You can stay with Harry if you don’t want to talk to anyone.”

Y/N only nodded.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be fine and if they say anything to you, I’m sure Sirius will gladly hex them on your behalf,” she bumped into Y/N purposefully on her way out, eyes twinkling.

-

Halfway throughout the night, Y/N had abandoned playing babysitter and lingered in the hallway, holding a cup in her hand. Over the noise, she heard another knock and went to open the door. On the other side stood a big family, all of them looking as if they had captured the sunset in their hair. They had brought 7 kids with them, two in the arms of the mother and the father, both of whom smiled at Y/N.

“Hello! Sorry we’re a bit late. Fred and George,” the woman eyed a pair of twins at her feet hastily before smiling again, “Kept switching their outfits and Bill took absolutely ages getting ready.” The little boys grinned up at Y/N at their mention, eyes glittering with mischief.

The man was holding out his hand. “Arthur Weasley. Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office. My wife Molly, and my children. The eldest Bill, then Charlie, Percy, twins Fred and George, Ron and lastly Ginny,” he gestured to the respective kids as he spoke. “Ron is little Harry’s age actually.”

Y/N shook it and introduced herself too, making a mental note of all the names. If they were wary of her they didn’t show it at all and as she led them in, Molly was talking to her as if they were old friends. Their children bolted as soon as they were inside, all except for Bill who hung around Y/N for most of the night, blushing and bashful. He went only when it was time to eat, although begrudgingly.

It was then that Y/N informed Lily she had to go back home. Resisting the temptation to stay for cake (which Lily and James used to almost bribe her), she gathered her coat in her arms and set off, making sure to say goodbye to Harry beforehand.

“Tell me if he likes the present!” Y/N called after her shoulder once she’d bid farewell. She didn’t properly hear what James yelled in reply but she acknowledged it for a yes all the same.

Y/N let the cold air fill her lungs as she walked, the warmth of the party ebbing away slowly. As she passed the small shops lining the street, she thought she heard the soft padding of paws behind her but she ignored it and walked faster, slowing only when the spire of the little church came into sight. Y/N contemplated stopping by Marlene’s grave but decided against it, climbing higher and higher up the lane until Godric’s Hollow had melted into the darkness behind her.

The street lamps after that were dim and flickered every now and then but she paid no mind to them. The sound of paws brushing on the ground was back. She shook her head and sighed.

“I know you’re following me.”

A gust of wind blew just then and swallowed up the soft whoosh of Sirius changing out of his Animagus form.

“Bill Weasley is going to be heartbroken,” his voice called. She turned to see him standing there, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket, mouth quirked in the tiniest smirk. “You left without telling him goodbye.”

Y/N let out a low huff and ignored the jest. He must’ve been watching at the party to know about the little Weasley boy and his fascination.

“Why are you following me?”

“Why are you walking?” Sirius had caught up to her with a few long strides and seemed keen for an answer.

“I felt like it.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to walk to the other side of London?”

She deflated at that and crossed her arms over her chest but uncrossed them immediately once she imagined how defensive it must’ve looked. She supposed it wouldn’t hurt to tell him the truth.

“I use magic as less as possible now.” Her voice was timid as she said it. “Using magic means I have to use my wand.” Sirius seemed to understand without her saying any more and remained quiet after that. Y/N realised she still hadn’t apologized to him.

“About the other day,” she started. He turned his gaze on her again but she couldn’t find it in her to return it. “I’m sorry for what I said. For throwing you out, I’m sorry–”

Sirius was shaking his head fiercely. “Do not apologize to me,” his voice had a hint of anger laced in it, though it wasn’t for Y/N. “I deserved that and more. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“But Sirius–”

He seemed to have trouble speaking. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he repeated.

Y/N looked at him then, astounded at how quickly the tears had come to his eyes. She watched him blink them away and take a breath, stuffing his hands deeper into his pockets. This was the perfect time to bring up his apology too but like that day, his words left him. Sirius wished there was a way to show her how sorry he was, like how Dumbledore had shown him her memory in his office.

“You don’t have to,” Y/N murmured. He frowned at her; sure he’d heard her wrong.

“Sorry?”

She cursed loudly and let her head hang down.

“You don’t have to show me. I know you are.”

The blank look on Sirius’ face did not subside.

“Dumbledore said I might like to learn how to be a Legilimens. Know what people around me were thinking, especially… especially after everything,” she searched his face for a reaction but it was still empty. “I had nothing else to do for a while so I agreed. I’m not that good yet but I can pick up thoughts when someone’s particularly upset.”

“You… you can read my mind?”

“Sort of. Only when you’re really upset though,” she shivered as another chilly blast of wind rushed past. “Like right now.”

“Oh.”

They walked in silence after that. Sirius was still here with her and Y/N found she didn’t want to tell him to go away. His face was a storm cloud of whirling emotions and his eyes, stormier still, were fixed on his feet. He was trying to make his mind blank, so she couldn’t read him again but it proved no use.

Finally he said, “We can still Apparate even without your wand. I can take you.”

“So that’s why you’re here. Did Lily send you?”

“I wanted to come.” His voice was quiet, hesitant. “Incase anything happened. Not that you’d need me to save you or anything but…”

“But?” She felt herself holding her breath for his answer and her heart twisted painfully once he did.

“Just for peace of mind. To know you’d gotten home safely.”

Looking away, Y/N nodded. “Alright then.”

He touched her so gently that she hardly felt it. Sirius’ fingers brushed against hers for the smallest stretch of time, like it had earlier that evening and with a pop, he was gone. Y/N followed after him, gut squeezing as they Apparated back to her house. Her front door appeared in a flash.

“See you tomorrow?” asked Sirius. He was toying with his hands again.

“I actually have to see Dumbledore tomorrow,” she said.

Sirius glanced at her curiously. “Something wrong?”

Y/N swallowed nervously. How could she break it to him without breaking his heart?

“After I got out of Azkaban… I asked if I could be transferred to America.”

Sirius stared at her, not saying anything. He was pretty sure he’d stopped breathing too.

“To work for MACUSA,” clarified Y/N.

“W– Why?”

Y/N seemed to think very carefully about her answer. The whistling of the wind was all there was to be heard for a while and she tucked a strand of hair that had come loose behind her ear. An owl hooted somewhere in the distance.

“There are so many reminders here,” she began. Her face contorted painfully and Sirius wished he hadn’t asked. “Every day, I look for her Sirius. I see her in every crowded room; I can hear her voice in my head when I’m with Lily, responding as if she were there with us. And sometimes I see you and all I can think–”

She stopped short, bringing a hand up to her mouth. Tears had pooled in her eyes and she turned her head away from him completely, taking a moment to collect herself.

For the third time, Sirius had no words. What could he say when Y/N couldn’t even bear to look at him? He’d allowed himself to think everything would be fine now that they were talking normally again but he couldn’t have been further from the truth. Of course one evening couldn’t undo three years of his mistake. He wiped at his cheek roughly.

“When are you leaving?” he said, his voice hoarse.

“I don’t know for sure if I am.”

Please don’t, thought Sirius selfishly. He had absolutely no right to be asking such things but he wasn’t sure he could stand losing both of them. But then again, a voice whispered in the back of his head, he technically had already. Y/N would never forgive him and neither would Marlene if she was here. He’d failed them both and Y/N deserved to start anew, with real friends who would never doubt her.

Sirius said none of this out loud.

“I– If you choose to go… will you see us before?” Y/N heard a slight note of pleading creep in as he continued. “I think Lily would like that. And Harry.”

And me, he added in his head. Y/N stared at him and pondered it before nodding.

“Thank you for walking me home.” It was so formal, so unlike them. The ache inside Sirius rose.

“Yeah, of course. No problem.”

He waited until she’d entered her house. For the longest time, the window panes remained dark. Y/N stood on the other side, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Her arms were clasped around her middle, as if she could physically hold herself together, hold in the misery threatening to pour out.

He only walked away after the lights had flicked on. He longed to run back and tell her everything he’d withheld. He didn’t deserve an ounce of her sympathy but still he wanted to beg her to stay. Even if she would never forgive him, seeing her everyday would be enough to bring him relief, he thought.

Sirius had just about managed to drag himself back to the Potter’s when he remembered Y/N was now a Legilimens.

Tag List: @knowledgeisthebomb @siriusement @kendratheweird @emi-loser @i-think-i-am-adorable @avengersassemblee @movokepwc @blackloveangel13 @misunderstood-sinner @vvytran @all-throughthe-night @ashkuuuu @thepuffyeyedpuff @annino112 @love-dria @five-seconds-of-fab @moremoony @ilovelyai @giddybeater @basically-hayley @misfitinfinity @sjriusblck @megzdoodle @siriuslyimmoony @mikariell95 @nadinissavage @sly-vixen-up2nogood @swim-deep-or-die  @whymalu @biatheintrovert @thanos-strikes-back @acutelittlehufflepuff @justbeingslytherin @lupintales @14-bees @maralisa124 @supsuppitysupsup @marveliskindacool @cyberbadman @gingercat9180 @wastingmylifeonthiswebsite @paigeyisme @puppycat714 @gemofthegalaxy @mellyrally