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donttellpeterparker · 3 years

Text

| Sparks - P.P |

Summary: Peter always looked to you for help and this instance required your best friend level assistance.

Requested: No, listen to this song

Word Count: 2.1k

Warning(s)?: F!Reader, fluff, Light swearing, TASM!Peter, cheating, not proof read.

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Sparks

You've lived next door to Peter Parker for as long as you could remember. The removalists van for your family arrived to this neighbour when you were just shy of 5 years old. The boy with wide brown eyes and dark curly hair was the first friend you had made in the apartment building. He was a shy, nervous boy with too much energy for his own good which made you both the perfect best friends. He showed you around school, his favourite spots and, at the time, his favourite action figures.

You were there alongside him through the years, all the way to now, Senior year of high school. Peter had grown a couple of bullies during middle school, causing you to not once, but twice, to throw chocolate milk over them. They'd punch Peter but never went to bully or attack you, in fact, they even tried flirting with you and asking why you hung out with such a 'loser'

Pfft, boys. Who are they kidding?

''I'm so tired, Mark's chemistry exam is killing me'' Peter yawns from across the table in his dining room. You both had currently set up your weekly study sessions, alternating between yours and his place from time to time.

''Mr Yang...'' You pointed.

''And it's not that bad, you just have to... here'' You continued, leaning over the table to grab his paper from under his hand. Your hand skims past his and for a moment, the familiar spark tingles your skin but you ignore it, hiding the reddening cheeks with your hair that fell to cover you.

You've been hopelessly in love with the idiot since middle school and to make matters worse, you knew he didn't feel the same way back. He was dating Gwen, the nicest Senior girl who was even on the academic decathlon team. She was head of debate and when they first begun dating, she made it a mission to be your friend which was lovely. Though less so because she was dating the man of your dreams. A bitter side to you comes up when she's around and you have to continuously remove yourself from the pair who'd greet each other with a peck or a kiss on the cheek.

''We'll keep working on this for another half an hour, then I gotta pick Gwen up'' Peter's voice got a little quieter near the end of his sentence. You nodded and pitched him a fake smile, soon getting back into your work. You knew Peter had picked up on the fact that you didn't like her so he didn't mention her much when he was hanging out with you.

''You know... Zack keeps asking me about you... wants to know when you'll finally go on that date with him'' Zack was a boy in your class, you've spoken with him a couple of times but that was all. He had asked you a week ago to go on a date together and you hadn't responded or talked to him since. You weren't good with confrontation, just the same as rejection or rejecting anybody.

''I know, he's messaged but I haven't replied'' Peter's eyes quirk up.

''Why not? He's been into since the start of the school year, you two should go out'' It hurt to hear him say this. The last thing you want to hear is your best friends encourage you to date people, especially ones that weren't him. But you needed to move on.

''I'm not that into him, besides... I like someone else'' The last bit didn't mean to leave your lips. you heard the sound of Peter's chair scrape across the tiles, inching closer towards you.

''Like who?'' You glanced up and saw just how close Peter had gotten to you. Your breathing hitched n your throat as you felt your lips go dry.

''Like... M-max'' You nodded your head vigorously, doing anything you can for Peter t create some distance between the two of you. Peter scoffed halfheartedly.

''Come on, you hate Max, ever since he spilled his spaghetti all over your favourite blue blouse in year 7'' Your ears perked up at this detail. He remembers that much?

''That's not true...'' You trailed off, your voice wavering slightly giving away the fact that you were lying. Peter chuckles and leans back in his chair slightly before leaning forward again, clasping his hands together as he leant them on his knees.

''I won't laugh... I promise'' Peter joked causing a smile to rise on your lips bashfully. Peter stared at you and fluttered his eyes, flashing you his puppy dog eyes which always made you cave in. you tensed your jaw and gave your head a firm shake, laughing to yourself as your body grew slightly warmer. You couldn't stop your cheeks from flaming.

''Fine... I don't like Max...'' You admitted making Peter roll his eyes when he noticed you weren't going to continue that sentence.

''Then who?'' Peter asks before the shrilling of his phone broke the growing silence soon after. You cleared your throat and leant back in your chair, just now realising you had been inching closer and closer to Peter.

''Hey Gwen... yeah... no that's okay... wait.... I can't right now.... I'm studying with Y/N... yeah it's due by the end of the week.... alright... yeah, see you then'' The call was brief and Peter then soon hung up his phone.

''Sorry, Gwen wants to come over earlier but-''

''You didn't say it'' You pointed out, interrupting Peter mid sentence. Peter eyes widen slightly with confusion as he shrugs his shoulders.

''Say what?'' You gave him a 'really' look.

''I love you'' You watched Peter's face grow tense for a moment, his eyes glancing from your lips back to your eyes in such a quick movement you barely noticed. You watched as he seemed to visibly gulp. He glanced down and shook his head, his leg beginning to bounce up and down in it's spot. He was getting nervous.

''Peter...?'' He glances up again at you and pulls his chair closer to you.

''Umm... I saw her... with Flash... at the party....'' Peter looks away from you as he rests his hand in his hand now leaning against the table.

''Yeah... so? they've been friends since forever, just like you and me-''

''They were kissing'' Hurt for your best friend hit first before quickly been turned into anger. How dare she? How dare she go ahead and cheat on the most perfect guy? How could she throw something like that away when others could never even get anything like that kind of love for themselves. Though the anger melted away once you saw the distant look on Peter's face.

''Oh Peter... I'm so sorry'' You said in sincerity, pushing your closer so you could place an arm on his shoulder in comfort. He shook his head, glancing back at you with a sad smile.

''It's okay, it's nothing... it was a while ago but ever since... I mean... at the time I was really angry and hurt but I just don't care anymore... I don't think I ever was really in love with her in the first place'' Your eyebrows furrow at this. But you saw them, how happy and in love they were together, it was as if it was a match made in heaven.

''Then why haven't you told her that you know?'' you asked curiously.

''I don't want to break up with her... well... I don't know how to I guess'' Peter had always been very awkward with the opposite sex which was made you very useful by his side, you helped eased that awkwardness out, but it was still there around every other girl apart from yourself.

''We can role-play it if you'd like? brainstorm ideas'' You suggested, though a part of you was telling yourself this was a bad idea. A very bad idea. Peter nods his head in response and stops leaning against the table to sit up.

''Sounds good, should I start or...?'' Peter asks, gesturing between you both. You smile softly in return.

''I'll go...'' Peter waited expectantly.

''Peter, we haven't gone to the movies in a while, what do you want to see, how about that new Jurassic movie?'' You tried to get into character but you didn't need to, this came naturally. Peter smiles, showing off his dimples before soon frowning, scratching the back of his head.

''Look... Gwen... I don't think that's a good idea'' Your eyebrows furrow together.

''why not? You love the jurassic series...''

''I don't think we should go to the movies together... I mean... I don't want to go the movies with you...'' Peter leant forward again in his chair, not breaking eye contact which was causing your heart to race.

''I don't like you anymore... after catching you with Flash I've just... I don't think we should see each other anymore... Besides, I know deep down you're in love with your best friend...'' It was almost as if he could read your mind. your mouth parted open, nervousness beginning to fill you up, worried that you were becoming transparent and Peter could see everything.

''You've been in love with him since middle school and you only started dating me because you thought it could help you move on... unfortunately you were wrong and it only made you care for him even more... you should have been honest with yourself and told her how you felt, maybe then you would be dating the most perfect girl in the world who's always there for you...'' Your heart skipped a bit when Peter said her.

''i'm so sorry Peter, it was an honest mistake and it'll never happen again, i love you and only you. I have for so long and I've gone ahead and messed everything up...'' You bit your tongue, not liking the way your hands were growing clammy and shakey. The way Peter's eyes were staring into yours unnerved you, he was looking at you with a look you've never seen before.

''It doesn't matter anymore... I want you to be happy and with Flash...'' You leant forward and rose your right hand to cup his cheek, you hadn't realised you'd done it until you heard the sharp intake of breath from Peter. Sparks and tingles flew across your palm, warmth slowly spreading through your body but you were too scared to pull away.

''I love you, Peter'' And you meant every single word of that. Peter's tongue darted out to lick his lips and your eyes followed this motion.

''You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that...'' You glanced back into his eyes as Peter's brown orbs locked with yours once again. Thank god you were sitting down otherwise with the look alone you'd probably melt into a puddle on the floor.

The air began growing thick with tension, a heavy silence filling the small room. You were too scared to move an inch closer to Peter or away from him, it was as if you were frozen in place. Peter's eyes darted between your eyes and lips a few times, licking his own occasionally.

Peter began to lean forward slowly, inching closer and closer till his nose was brushing against yours. Your breathing hitched inside your throat when you felt his warm, minty breath fan across your lips. You felt his hands soon begin to cup your face, pulling you a little closer till you could almost feel his lips against yours, though they only merely brushed past.

This was all a role-play, this didn't mean anything to Peter, you were just helping him figure out how to break up with Gwen...

''Can I kiss you?'' Peter's voice was so soft that it was a mere whisper to your ears. Your heart was thumping so loud you could head it inside your own mind. Your chest was heaving up and down now, the air getting harder and harder to breathe. You bit you lip as it began to tremble slightly.

All you could was nod slowly, not trusting your own voice as Peter dipped his head the final inch and slowly connected his lips with yours softly. Sparks immediately erupted from the kiss. Peter held his lips against yours for a few more moments before slowly pulling them away, only leaving a breath between the two of you. Your eyes fluttered open to see Peter intently staring at yours lips in adoration as he pulled you in for another breathtaking kiss.

This time you both moved your lips together slowly, drawing it out as long as possible. The feeling was euphoric and you felt as if you wanted to scream from the rooftops in happiness. Was this real? Were you dreaming?

The sound of the door opening broke you both swiftly apart with wide eyes as Gwen stood in the doorway, eyeing you both.

oh fuck.

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A/N: I attempted a really soft, fluffy little imagine to this song, it's been stuck in my head all day and this wouldn't leave my mind! Much love xx

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker imagine #fluff #imagine #spider-man #spider-man imagine #andrew garfield #tasm #tasm imagine #donttellpeterparker #sparks

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bunniewon · 3 years

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# the list — thirty one

↳ series masterlist : next

song: drama - 9muses

you weren’t surprised, but you thought that minako would have at least a little bit of class to not act up in such a nice place. a nice place your parents paid for her to sit and eat good food. you were beyond pissed and fed up.

firstly, the girl showed up a whole half an hour late. she didn’t give any excuses nor apologizes, she just waved it off and smacked loudly on her gum while she ignored the rest of the table.

despite her bad attitude, everyone else still wanted to have a pleasant dinner. you got to catch up with minako’s parents and brothers, everyone seemed to love yachi, even reina was pleasant to be around, and minako just wasn’t happy with that. she wasn’t happy that she was forced to sit here and listen to how good you were doing, or how many new friends you made. it all made her absolutely sick to her stomach.

so she did what she does best, play the victim and make a scene. minako could be quite a good actress when she needed to, she wasn’t afraid to get loud and cry if needed.

“and! she doesn’t even talk to me anymore–” fake sobs bubbled out of her throat as her hands covered her face. both yours and the nearby tables eyes fell onto the crying girl. there were a flood of looks and emotions, but it was clear which one overtook the others, annoyance. her attempt at gaining sympathy backfired on her, and she noticed that. she even turned up the tears and snot, still didn’t work. “all she cares about is her new friends! and they’re bad people i swear! those boys are bad news.”

her parents were embarrassed, her brothers annoyed, your parents were upset, and you were just furious. if she thought she could pull something like this without any consequences, she was dead wrong.

“yeah i don’t talk to you anymore, do you want to know why?” you turned to her, trying to keep your calm. this restaurant was too nice to get kicked out of, and you definitely wanted to return with sakusa for your date.

“no, you are gonna listen to me minako,” besides reina and yachi, the rest of the table was rightfully confused on whatever was about to go down. “we’ve known each other since preschool, do you think it was easy for me to cut you off like that? i was still making excuses for you, until i found out you tried to get my boyfriend to cheat on me! with you!” the sound of your voice was getting louder, it drew more attention to the table but you didn’t care.

telling minako off was long overdue, and you weren’t gonna beat around the bush this time. “minako, you purposely excluded me from stuff, and why? because you couldn’t stand me right? you hate me so much right? that’s what you said when i confronted you about shirabu.”

she obviously wasn’t expecting your outburst since she just sat there with a dumbfounded look on her face. she wasn’t even attempting to cry anymore.

“and reina, you’re no better than her. you aren’t stupid, i’m sure you’ve noticed everything she’s been doing,” reina opened her mouth to explain but you quickly cut her off. “and you know what, i’m not gonna willingly sit here with people that knowingly hurt me!” you stood from your seat, snatching your back up with you.

“oh please, do you think you’re some type of changed independent girl now?” not even five seconds later, minako was out of her seat and in your face. a few people from around the table called out her name, reina even attempted to pull her away from you, but she stood her ground and continued glaring at you.

“you needed me! not the other way around. so stop acting like you’re some big shot just because you made a couple friends! just a while ago you couldn’t even go shopping without nearly breaking down in tears, you’re pathetic y/n” she was practically screaming in your face now, and if it wasn’t for her finally being pulled away you might have slapped her.

minako was thrashed in the arms of her father, desperately trying to get back so that she could scream at you some more. you couldn’t understand why though. she wasn’t the one wronged in this situation, she had no reason to be mad at you. yet here she was, acting like a toddler who didn’t get her way. just sickening.

without another word, you looked to yachi before snatching up your bag. when you said you weren’t gonna sit with people who hurt you, you meant it. minako and reina didn’t deserve your time and effort. you could always just hang with your parents another day.

you didn’t even notice you started crying until you felt the breeze from outside hitting your face. yachi was quick to help you, drying your face with some tissues she got from her purse. you quietly thanked her before pulling out your phone to see a few texts from your mom pop up.

anais’ notes 🌸:

hiii, a chapter of the list that i finally got out!! it’s finally off hold lol. i like this chapter, i had fun doing the next of her mom since that’s how both of my parents text me.

lots of omi this chapter yes? do you guys like?

as usual, let me know what you think about the chapter! what do you think y/n’s surprise was? i hope you guys enjoy this chapter, mwah! luv you besties <3

taglist: @hyunsamour @satorinnie @nachotrash @chai-tea-isnt-real @4evahevah @thechaosoflonging @ssuna @kiyoomi-my-beloved @lilith412426 @sunflowersdaydreams13 @tojiuvr @frogekko @hoezilla22 @borpcorp @sakusasimpbot @bbangjuice @juvenillia @daphnxy @girlqrush @hxked @iyvoryxx @loveprisms @wolfdeamonghoul @kac-chowsballs @ysatrap @call-me-lulu @alpaca-fanfics @witchyniche @rollignthundere @strawbberyys @dumdumtaro @ittybittywallflower @iheartkuroorin @tdntu0 @peepeepoopoot @doctorspencereid @lucyrocks86 @yourlocalbabybird @jojowantstocry @sunarintarouscrustysock @bruhmoment23 @achillean-affection @rinwhy @moonlightmiya @darlingkuroo @bakugouswh0r3 @shionin @stranger-pennywise @itssaturdaytoday @blueowl51 @deathfreak45 @90s-belladonna

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christopher-bangnaldoskzz · 2 years

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I CHOOSE YOU - 2

Minho / Seungmin x Reader Female

Genre:🌶️

Word count: 1.7k

Summary: You have just split up with your cheating EX-Boyfriend, how could you possible every fall in love again

Trigger warning: please remember this is a fiction and the characters are just that fictional. If you are sensitive to swearing or sexual content please do not read my stories…… some of my story’s do hold scenes from kdarams Sorry in advance if you don’t like it but I though they were cute, other than that please enjoy. they took all your belongings to Jamie’s. She was so happy for you to be there. She wanted a roommate for a long time.

Minho Masterlist

So chan was having a bit of producer block. They need help with their new album noeasy. Jamie offered you up to help them. You and Alex discussed it. You were in the middle of producing permission to dance. You were not keen on working with V, so Alex discussed working with BTS. You will work with stray kids.

………..

So you went to get a drink before going to meet the boys. You turned around after reaching the glass and smacked right into the guy his coffee burst all over you.

“I am so sorry. Are you okay” he said, handing you so many napkins.

“I’m okay,” you laughed “thank god it wasn’t hot coffee.”

“I’m Seungmin,” he smiled and put his hand out for you to shake.

“Y/N…hey question?”

“Oh, course,” he grinned.

“I’m looking for stray kids…. Do you know where I might find them?”

“You in luck because I do, actually,” he grabbing your hand and pulled you towards the recording studio “ I found her, everyone,” he laughed.

“Seungmin, what happened,” chan said. Minho was staring at your wet shirt.

Minho took off his hoodie and handed it to you “here, change into this” he pushed it to your chest while turning you around.

When you came back in, Minho’s head shot up to look at you “wow, stunning…….you should wear my clothes all the time” he grinned.

……

So you were giving them ideas for their song thunderous, but you kept getting calls from V, you were trying to ignore them, but he would call one after the other. You finally answer the phone.

Phone conversation

Y/N

“YES….. what can I help you with? V”

“Where are you because Alex is here and your not.”

Y/N

“I’m with a client.”

“Huh, why are you talking to me like that”

Y/N

“Like what”

“Like I wasn’t your boyfriend for seven years.”

“Oh, I’m sorry…. How would you like me to address you…..like you aren’t a piece of shit….should have thought about that before sleeping with my friend….oh and Kim Taehyung…lose my fucking number, okay” you hung up threw the phone to the ground stomping on it until the phone was crushed.

…..

Once the session was finished, you left and returned to Jamie’s apartment. You just sat on the couch and watched some Netflix while you waited for Alex to finish up and come over

You heard a knock on the door. You opened the door and saw Seungmin standing there.

“Hi….. so I got you something….. but think of it like a piece offering okay for the coffee thing this morning,” he said, pulling out an iPhone.

“What…..why” you were so confused. Why was he giving you an iPhone?

“I felt bad for spilling coffee on you… then you know you broke your phone…. So I brought you a new one,” he smiled, handing it. “I hope you don’t mind. I told them to put everything back on their phone…. Oh, I got you a new sim and number too.”

“Wow……Seungmin that is nice of you….I can’t accept it” you were still in shock.

“Yes, you can” he smiled

He handed you the box. Your fingers touched, and he blushed “well, I have to go, so….. hopefully, I will see you tomorrow.”

“Hopefully,” you laughed

He walked down towards the elevator. You closed the door. You went inside and opened the box. You turned on the phone. Yep, there was your background. Everything was the same as on your last phone. He wasn’t lying. You saw you had a text message, so you opened it.

Seungmin

“Oh BTW….. I added my number…. Hope you don’t mind-Seungmin.”

You smiled, looking down at the phone. He was so smooth.

“Not at all…. I was going to ask you for it anyway😊” you hit send, the door knocked again. So you walked over to answer it this time. It was Nam-Joon.

“Hi… sorry V wanted me to give you some stuff back…. He said you might want them” he smiled.

“How did you find me” you were again a little confused.

“Alex told me…. I promise I won’t tell V. I told him I was meeting you at Starbucks… I tried to call, but you didn’t answer.”

“No, it’s okay... I got a new number…. Come in,” you smiled. You had always had a crush on Nam-Joon he was kind and the complete opposite of V. It was refreshing.

He sat down on the couch “sorry I showed up like this,” he said, putting the box on the coffee table.

“It’s okay” you put a glass of water in front of him.

“I am so sorry he did that to you…” he said, grabbing your hand.

“I should have seen it, honestly……I should have picked someone like,” and you had to stop there.

“Like who?” He said, squeezing your hand.

“Like you” You looked at him. He leaned in and started to kiss you, putting his hand on your waist.

He pulled away briefly. “I waited so long for this, honestly…. You know how I’ve felt for years” he once confused you while drunk. You never said anything to V. You didn’t want to upset him or cheat.

He then began to kiss you again and lean your body down off the couch, his hovering over yours. He moved his hand up your leg lifting the jumper to get to your waste.

“Ummmmmm….. so sorry to interrupt,” you heard you pushed him off.

There they were. Chan, Jamie, Alex are all staring at you.

“I think I should go…..” Nam-Joon said as he got up.

“You think,” chan said, stepping aside.

“I’ll um message you…okay” he smiled.

You nod as he leaves, getting up and opening the door for him “okay….bye,” you shut the door.

“Okay, tell us everything,” Alex said, dropping her bags.

“Eww, not in front of chan,” you said as you looked at your phone because you got another message from Seungmin.

“Is that a new phone” chan said “ I swear I saw you stomp on yours this morning,” he said, pointing at it. Jamie was pushing him out the door

“Byee…. I’ll call you later,” she said, shutting the door in his face.

……

So you told the girls your whole day down to the moment they saw you kissing Nam-Joon.

“Wow, what a shit day, honestly,” Alex said, setting up her stuff.

“Wait, Seungmin bought you a phone?” Jamie said shocked

You nod my head “channies Seungmin ?” You nod again. “Y/N, he doesn’t talk to anyone.”

“Oh well, he was nice to me, soooo,” you shrugged your shoulders.

“Wait is that him texting you,” Alex said, looking at your phone on the counter.

“Yeah, his number is the only one I have in it,” you said to Alex.

“Y/N, he’s flirting with you,” Jamie said.

“He’s not. He’s just being nice because he spilled coffee on me,” you said, snatching the phone out of your hands.

You like the idea of Seungmin flirting with you. It had honestly been a while since anyone had flirted with you. V had at the beginning of our relationship, but we were together for 7years. Your relationship changes. When you get together at 18, you have to grow up super fast.

…..

Jamie invited Alex, jake, and yourself to the chans birthday event. She was booking out some VIP room in a club where we could dance and drink.

They were clubbing away, then Alex walked up to You and went, “I think that’s Madison over there.”

“WHAT CUNT” and let me tell you, Minho’s head spun around fast.

“What’s wrong?” He said concerned

“That fucken Bitch is here,” You said so fucken mad. Seungmin heard you and knelt in front of you, “breath okay, we don’t need to start a fight” You nodded, pretending to agree with him.

“Can you get me a drink, please…. It might help me. Calm down” You smiled.

He agreed and left to get everyone drinks. Minho went to help him. You turned to Alex and said, “now cunt” you both stood up. Jake knew what was about to happen. He did nothing to stop it.

You and Alex both walk up to Madison. Alex tap’s her on the shoulder. “OMG, Alex, I haven’t…..” before she could finish her sentence, Alex fucking ripped her hair and wrapped it around a couple of times, pulling her outside.

“You think it’s funny to sleep with people's boyfriends,” Alex said, bending down in her face.

“Not so in love now, are we bitch” You said, bending on the other side.

“You're hurting me,” she said

“Good….you deserve it,” You said as You leaned in. Then all You could feel were two arms wrapped around you and pulling you back.

Chan had seen Alex rip her hair and drag madison outside.

“I won’t let you do that,” he said as you kicked and screamed.

“Why not? Little bitch deserves it” at that point, Jake stepped in and got in between Alex and Madison.

Chan spoke to Security and told them she had to leave. They kicked Madison and some other girl she was without.

……

You got hammered. Minho was trying to hold you up with no luck. Seungmin was holding your waste as Minho was pulling his arm under your armpit to keep you up. You leant into Minho’s neck “ you smell pretty,” You said, slurring. You could feel Seungmin’s grip tighten a little, maybe just enough for you to notice.

“Thanks,” Minho smiled “now we need to get you home.”

They both carry you into Jamie’s house and put you to bed. Minho kisses you on the forehead and tucks me in while Seungmin gets me some water and painkillers.

“Goodnight, beautiful,” it sounded like Minho said. They left you to go to sleep.

The following day You woke up to find them both sleeping on the couches in the living room. You felt like absolute garbage, You took the pain killers on the bedside table, but all You wanted was one of V’s nice big brekkies and cuddles he gave when I was hungover.

You went into the kitchen to get something to eat. You saw Minho's eyes open at the sound of the tap running.

“Morning, beautiful,” he smiled.

“Morning,” You said, drinking the water.

Seungmin then rolled over awake “oh good, you're alive,” he smiled, rolling off the couch.

“Well, I’m super hungry, so brekkie anyone” Seungmin smiled.

“Omg, yes, please, I’m dying here,” You said back.

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atinymonster · 3 years

Text

broken hearts

ateez 9th member.

when sunwoo confronts jiyu about jiyong, but is too heated to actually listen to her explanation.

disclaimer: i’m a tbz/sunwoo stan and am in no way portraying him to be like this in real life! this is all made up for the sake of this scenario 😭

➴ taglist: @banhmi07, @jiyeons-closet, @jaeminpeachy, @mochibabycakes, @euphoriamingi, @marsophilia, @goddessofdestructionbeast, @studioreader, @dkdlwhs12

➴ masterlist

Running out of the private practice room, Jiyu felt the tears she was holding back for the sake of her own dignity and pride slip down her cheeks. Blindly trying to find the elevator to go back down, she failed to realize the person turning around the corner the same time as her.

Groaning at the impact of their little collision, she quickly tried to conceal her face, not wanting anyone to see her in such a disheveled state. Quickly mumbling her apologies, she was about to walk past the person had they not gently grabbed onto her forearm.

“Jiyu?”

Chanhee couldn’t help but grab onto Jiyu’s arm in concern upon getting a glimpse of her tear-stained cheeks. He was rather confused, he saw her a few hours prior, brimming with excitement to see Sunwoo—

And that’s when a lightbulb went off in his head. “Did you have a fight with Sunwoo?”

Jiyu weakly nodded her head, her eyes fixated on her shoes. Memories of earlier started to resurface, and it took everything in her to not let out a sob in front of Chanhee. Feeling embarrassed and mortified, she gently tried prying his hand off. “S-Sorry, I should go. I called my manager already, he should be here soon—”

“Chanhee hyung, do you know what’s up with Sunwoo? He looks—”

As if her day couldn’t get any worse, Eric came running down the hall, unaware of the crying girl that stood behind Chanhee.

Chanhee sighed before taking a small side-step to reveal Jiyu. Eric stopped running as confusion, anger, and concern coursed through him all at once. Engulfing the shorter girl into a comforting embrace, he frowned when he felt his hoodie grow damp with her tears.

“What happened?” he gently asked.

“H-He thought I was c-cheating!” she cried out, voice muffled from his hoodie. “I s-swear I’m not, b-but he didn’t let me explain.”

“Is there something you’re not telling me?” Sunwoo abruptly asked while Jiyu was scrolling through the playlist for another song.

Ever since he caught her at the cafe with another man, he tried time and again to come up with a valid excuse for her. But they all didn’t make sense in the end, ultimately leading him to assume the worst.

She was seeing someone else.

It would explain their linked pinkies and dare he say, loving smiles on their faces. It sickened him to the core every time he thought about it.

The look of confusion on her face only worsened his sour mood.

“No...? Should there be?”

Leaning back in his chair, he scoffed in disbelief at her ignorance. “I don’t know, is there?”

Her eyebrows furrowed at his prickly tone. She knew something was off about him ever since she stepped into the room, but she thought he was just tired from practice since they have the live Kingdom broadcast soon.

“Well, I don’t have anything to tell you.”

“So you’re going to blatantly lie to me that you’re seeing someone else?” he spat out, glaring at her from the side of his eye.

Baffled was an understatement to how Jiyu felt from that accusation. “E-Excuse me?”

“Don’t lie to me, I saw you at the cafe two days ago,” he continued, shoving his phone towards her. Taking a look, she realized it was a picture of when she met with Jiyong. From the angle he saw it at, she didn’t blame him for assuming something like cheating.

“Let me explain—”

“Explain what?” he interrupted, the flames in his eyes growing stronger as he turned his whole body towards her, “That you went behind my back? That you didn’t even bother to tell me the truth about your feelings?”

Her bewildered expression morphed into one of anger as Sunwoo kept rattling off ridiculous accusations. “Can you just let me explain that he’s—”

“Yeah, your other boyfriend,” Sunwoo rolled his eyes. He knew he was being uncooperative, he knew he was pushing it a little too far, but he spent the last two days trying to make sense of a situation that he was in denial of.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” Jiyu hissed, now just flat out irritated and angry, “Do you really think that low of me that you’d automatically assume the worst whenever I’m out with another guy?”

He nonchalantly shrugged. “That photo answers that question, doesn’t it?”

Jiyu’s jaw dropped in exasperation. So many feelings rushed through her that she couldn’t even comprehend what they were, but she knew it was a combination of anger and humiliation.

Giving a humorless laugh, she roughly stood up from her chair so that she towered over a brooding Sunwoo. Frankly, she was at her limit.

“So that’s how you’ve always seen me? Someone untrustworthy that you always have to doubt my feelings for you?”

Taking his silence as confirmation, she felt a familiar lump in her throat grow and she felt her heart slowly start to crack. But she didn’t allow herself to show that she was breaking, keeping up the angry front.

Scoffing, she pulled out her own phone before scrolling through her SNS to find a certain photo. Now it was her turn to shove her phone towards Sunwoo. “Read the caption.”

Turning his head towards the device, he saw a picture of her and the unknown man smiling at the camera while standing in front of a cherry blossom tree. One arm was resting on the man’s shoulder while the other hand was giving him bunny ears. He was enraged at the thought of Jiyu trying to pour salt on the wound, but it immediately vanished when he read the caption.

[My little sister really grew up now that she’s worrying about me when she’s the one doing all the back breaking choreography 😤💞]

His eyes widened, his mouth ran dry, and his world paused. Little sister? That was her brother?

His silence did nothing to alleviate Jiyu’s anger, it only fanned the flames. The least she could get was maybe an apology for all of the harsh words and accusations that he heartlessly threw at her.

Turning away from him, she silently started to pack her belongings into her bag, scoffing when Sunwoo frantically asked what she was doing.

“It’s one thing to assume cheating, but blindly accusing me of being an untrustworthy and unfaithful girlfriend is a whole other matter,” she said, not turning around to face him once. Seeing his face would make her break right there and then. “But I guess it’s better now that I know how you really think of me.”

She paused, blinking away the tears that started to gather in her eyes. It hurt. It hurt to know that Sunwoo thought so low of her and that he’d actually believe that she would do something as absurd as cheat on him.

They’ve been together for almost a year, she’d think he’d have some faith her, otherwise they never would’ve lasted this long.

In the heat of the moment, she took off the white bracelet and loudly slammed it onto the table, missing the way Sunwoo paled at the sight. “Maybe it’s best if we put an end to this if you doubt me so much. Not to mention doubting my own brother.”

“Wait—”

“I’ll still come by for practices, don’t worry, I’ll try to be civil.”

She didn’t even wait for him to respond, giving him a taste of his own medicine before running out of the room, tears silently starting to trickle down her face.

Eric didn’t even bother to knock before he barged into the private practice room. Sunwoo didn’t move ever since Jiyu stormed out, only putting his head in his hands.

“Did you really say all of that to her?” Eric asked, knowing he was speaking with his emotions rather than his head.

“Where is she?” Sunwoo quietly asked.

“Chanhee hyung sent her off when her manager came to pick her up. Now answer my question.”

Sunwoo didn’t respond, only nodding his head. He felt a lot of things within the last half an hour, but shame was ultimately the main emotion.

With a defeated sigh, Eric sat in the chair Jiyu had occupied before patting his friend’s back. He knew Jiyu was hurting, but Sunwoo was, too. It wasn’t fair to put the blame solely on Sunwoo.

“Are you okay?”

Sunwoo shook his head, an uneven breath leaving his lips. Looking up, he saw the white bracelet that Jiyu had left behind. It only brought back all the nasty words they mindlessly spouted, and it made his heart ache.

“I messed up,” he mumbled, feeling tears prick at his eyes. Regret flooded his mind and heart.

Eric bit his lip, knowing that Sunwoo wasn’t aware of Jiyu’s family situation. He knew how much Jiyu treasured Jiyong, but Sunwoo didn’t. He wanted to explain to his friend, but it wasn’t his place to tell.

So he, along with the others who caught wind of the fight from Chanhee, spent the rest of the night comforting him.

Jiyu wasn’t faring any better, bursting into sobs the moment she saw all of the boys sitting in the living room. She ran straight to Seonghwa, flinging herself into his embrace before crying out everything she’s been holding back.

It caught everyone off guard at how distressed she was, but nevertheless, started to comfort the girl.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Seonghwa asked, concern taking over his expression.

“W-We fought,” she managed to say through her tears, “But I don’t know how this is going to turn out.”

While she recounted earlier’s events, they all exchanged worried glances to each other. Like Eric, they knew her relationship with Jiyong was precious to her considering how he’s her only family left, aside from her grandparents.

So to have someone use that against her, intentional or not, tore at her heart.

“You should talk to him about Jiyong,” Hongjoong suggested, “That way he understands a little more.”

Jiyu took his suggestion into deep consideration. It was already hard enough for her to open up about her family to others, Sunwoo was no exception despite being her boyfriend.

But did he even want to talk to her after her outburst? Did she even have the right mind to speak with him without bursting into tears?

“Maybe it’s best if we put an end to this if you doubt me so much.”

“I don’t even know if I can talk to him, I mentioned breaking up with him in the heat of the moment...” she whimpered, tightening her grip on Seonghwa’s sweatshirt as another wave of tears threatened to fall.

She didn’t want to lose Sunwoo, but with how things played out earlier, the ending was unknown to be happy or sad.

That night, the boys tried coaxing her to sleep, but she couldn’t. She ended up tossing and turning every five seconds because if she closed her eyes, visions of earlier would haunt her mind. She wanted so badly to pick up her phone and talk to him, but she was still hurting.

His lack of texting or calling also told her he didn’t want to talk.

Bleakly staring at her wall, she could only lay there in despair, regretting how she acted upon her hurt.

“Psst, we’re coming in Baby Monster.”

The door opened to reveal seven worried boys who didn’t want her to cry alone. They all made themselves comfortable on her bed or the spare bed.

Seonghwa gently pat her head. “We can talk more about it tomorrow, but for now, get some sleep and rest up. We have practice tomorrow, too.”

She rubbed her red, swollen eyes. “Aren’t you all uncomfortable squished like this?” she asked, feeling slightly guilty that her sadness warranted a sleepover in her room.

“As if we were going to let you cry alone in the middle of the night,” Wooyoung quipped. He knew her all too well to know that she would let the situation eat at her mind the whole night.

“We know it’s hard not to think about it, but don’t think about it so much to the point it just consumes you and your mind,” Jongho added, reaching over to gently poke her forehead.

“Whatever the outcome is, you always have us to lean on. We’ll always support you through thick and thin,” Yunho mumbled, snuggling into her comforter and patting her arm in hopes of soothing her raging mind.

Quietly chuckling, she silently thanked them for trying their hardest to cheer her up, even if it meant cramming into two beds to make sure that she didn’t wet her pillow with her tears.

“Thank you,” was the last thing she mumbled out before falling asleep with the boys by her side.

And they all made sure she was asleep and not crying before falling asleep themselves.

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crystalcow · 3 years

Text

𝐷𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑒/𝐺𝑒𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑁𝑜𝑡𝐹𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑

Inspired by the song drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo

Masterlist // part two

GeorgeNotFound x reader !cc !college AU

Pronouns used: not specified

Warnings: angst, cheating, swearing, George can drive because I say so.

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

When you say, “Oh I’m inlove with my best friend!” People generally give you the reasons why it could all go to shit. There’s also the fun part about it, having your significant other being someone you already love. They know what you like, and your family already loves them.

It’s like a whole dilemma, playing a constant game of ‘They like me’ ‘They like me not’. A whole story in a way. There’s always the beginning where you don’t know if they like you back or not, it could also determine rather if your whole friendship is just fucked right there and then.

Then maybe in the slight chance they feel the same! Along with the silence of a great lack of communication. Do you date? Do you just ignore everything? Or do you distance yourselves in the fear of being hurt..?

Then always the constant fear in the back of your head that keeps pounding, “Will they be there forever?” Thats the question you can’t really answer, life determines it all correct.

There are realms, dimensions even that have every single possibility and sadly you can only see one of them at a time. So there you are deciding which path your going to drive down, right or left? Or do you even want to go at all..

Strangely enough tho it seems somewhat impossible, there’s a path where you two end up together. Inlove and happy, spending nights at each other’s houses while holding one another. A different bond from others, having each other no matter what.

But that’s not always the case..

═ ∘♡༉∘ ═

“Oh shut up! Turn right in 2.4 miles” “How the bloody hell am I supposed to know when 2.4 miles is!” George laughed looking over at the phone to check the map. “.4 miles from 2?” I grinned to myself like a dork, looking out the window.

“You are an absolute idiot. Go get your license already so I can criticize your driving skills.” He said putting his hand on my thigh, as I sit back getting comfortable in the leather seat. “Hey hey atleast I’ll know-“ “Don’t you dare say 2.4 miles” “I’ll know when two point four miles is...” I giggled hiding my face in his hoodie, pulling the strings over my face.

He pulled over to the side of the road where thankfully no cars were passing by. Unbuckling his seatbelt before reaching over the dashboard tickling my sides, while I laughed trying to swat his arms away like a fly. “That- that is not fair.” I rolled my eyes, slouching in the leather seat. “Yeah yeah, let’s go stupid I’m hungry.”

═ ∘♡༉∘ ═

It all feels right, planning out your whole future in your head. The ring size and what flowers and music you’ll have at the wedding. The secret to pain is that it comes from the ones we hold precious. The love blinds us from the crumpling hole we dug into.

“Mm guess who!” I said putting my hands over his eyes. “Elena?” My smile dropped a little bit but I just shrugged it off thinking it’s just him playing along. “Guess again stupid” I removed my hands and he smiled looking up at me putting down his pen. “Oh well hello” He says pulling out a chair for me to sit in which I accept.

“So how have your classes been so far?” I ask taking one of his Fritos. “It’s been okay I guess, but In coding we have this partner project. How about you?” I took a second to think about it before remembering, “Oh that’s nice, just the usual honestly. I have a free period after this, and I was wondering if you wanna go off campus for lunch?”

He looked at me with a disappointed smile. “I’m sorry, me and my partner are going to work on the art thing..” I look down still smiling a small ping in my heart. “No it’s alright, if you need any help I’m always here.” He pressed a chaste kiss to my cheek before leaving into the hallways, the warmth of his lips vomited to linger.

I’ve always been confused whenever it comes to coding. Different numbers and the amount of things that could go wrong. They scare me a bit, the different possibilities they can do with a little computer.

═ ∘♡༉∘ ═

“Hey hon, I was thinking we could catch that movie we’ve been talking about.” I walk up to my boyfriend who was seated next to this really hot chick..

“Hm? Oh right yeah maybe sometime. N/n this is Elena, the partner from the coding project I told you about.” George introduced, I looked over at her as she held a hand out for me to shake.

“Hey! Oh wow I love your shirt, where did you get it from?” A couple locks of her brown hair had fallen onto her face, as I suddenly felt more insecure. “This? Oh I just stole it out of my sisters closet, I’ll ask where she got it from.” Something about her voice, how it slightly rasped but still continued to flow.

I glanced at George whos gaze was pointed at Elena. “Yeah I think I’m free tonight I’ll pick you up, now if you’ll excuse me I have to get to class, walk with me?” I take his hand as we say goodbye walking twords our next destination.

═ ∘♡༉∘ ═

I waited on the sofa in my small apartment, continuously checking the time. The clock ticked over and over again as I counted. 5 minutes turned into ten, I had enough when it turned into 50.

My head lifted up running twords the ringing phone. “George where the hell are you? It’s 8:55” I scolded at my phone. “I’m sorry, I can’t make it. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” I scoffed hanging up.

Days became more distant, more and more excuses popped up. The same ones over and over again, every time I see you in the hallways she’s next to you. The once 3 hour calls now cut down to minutes.

I drove down the street excited to tell you I had finally got the thing that we both spent weeks practicing for. Different colors as the lights changes from red to green. Small stop signs in the suburban area forcing me to stop.

Walking into the small cafe where we had claimed as our spot, you sat there with her the one I had been insecure about, whom I’ve trusted with you. Both your lips interlocked as she giggled pulling your hair.

Now every time I drive down that very street or pass your house on the way, I feel as if I were to break and crumble apart. Wishing you were in my passenger seat as we ate chilli dogs and drank milkshakes, except now your with her.

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

Ask or request anything! And just ask if you wanna be on the taglist, and if I don’t respond to your ask it doesnt show up? So dm me!

#georgenotfound #georgenotfound x reader #gogy x y/n #drivers license #olivia rodrigo #mcyt x reader #dsmp x reader #mcyt x you #one shot #mcyt imagine

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leewritesstuff · 3 years

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Lose You To Love Me |Tom Holland x Reader

Paring: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Losing someone hurts, but knowing that things get better, feels fine. You were dating Tom but feels as if you guys were slowly drifting away

Song: Lose You To Love Me

Masterlist

This is my first Tom Holland works, it's a little rusty since I haven't written something that isn't anime for a while.

You promised the world and I fell for it I put you first and you adored it Set fires to my forest And you let it burn Sang off-key in my chorus 'Cause it wasn't yours

Having an on-and-off relationship was difficult. Especially when the relationship was a secret. You wanted to come out and be public but Tom didn't. The excuses were 'They will attack you' or 'I'm just not ready' but to see him posing for pictures with other models and celebrities made you feel as if you were a secret as if he was a shame.

Moving from the kitchen to sit in the living room couches, you played with his hair, feeling his soft curls between your fingers.

"Tom do you think we could go to that new cafe that opens up down the straight? I hear that they sell amazing cupca-" Without looking up from his phone, he replies with "I would love to but I don't want anyone spotting us" "Well that's fine if they do, don't you think it's time that they know?" "I just want us to keep some stuff to ourselves, ya know?" Letting out a sigh, you leaned your body off of his, grabbed the remote to turn on the tv.

I saw the signs and I ignored it Rose-colored glasses all distorted Set fire to my purpose And I let it burn You got off on the hurtin' When it wasn't yours, yeah

"Who the fuck is her huh?! Is that why you can't hang out? Or why you're always so late? You never have time to spend with me, heck you don't even say sorry for missing out on our planned dates!" "For fucking sake Y/N! Not everything is about you! I told you I was running late because I was at a party for work! You of all people are supposed to know that!" "I wouldn't be feeling this way if people weren't taking pictures of you and that model! Friends don't act that way! You don't see me acting that way with Harrison!"

"I swear it's like you're my fucking mother. I'm a grown-ass man, I can do whatever the hell I want! Stop bitching every fucking time!"

You looked at him in shock, still trying to register the words he used on you. Some fans have been speculating that you and Tom were dating but that was quickly debunked when a few pictures of Tom and another model were 'rumored' to be dating.

At first the rumors didn't bother you. It was for an upcoming movie, but after a while of countless photos of them together, it started to make you feel a type of way, jealously, insecure.

You didn't exactly notice that your relationship was falling apart, only feeling the distance. You nodded your head at him, "Alright"

He watched you, anger from the fight filling up his veins. He was tired of having the same fight with you every time a picture of him and a girl gets posted.

He walked over to you and grabbed your hands, holding them tightly, "Look, I'm not cheating okay? You know how the paps get when they see something like a good story. I love you, and only you okay? You just have to trust me"

You leaned into his touch, hugging him back. Still not feeling secure but decides to ignore it.

He never did say sorry to those planned dates.

We'd always go into it blindly I needed to lose you to find me This dancing was killing me softly I needed to hate you to love me, yeah

After the incident that happens two weeks ago, nothing was the same. The relationship started getting more toxic, one of you would be yelling at the other or mentally abusing eachotherTom started coming home late and was spending more time outside than with you. He wasn't even home for your anniversary, instead, he chose to go to a pub. You tried to get Harrison to speak to him, but he would always come back at you, yelling at you for dragging his friend into his.

So you decided to go to the pub he was in.

You called up your best friend and got yourself ready. You didn't expect the pub to be so filled, but then again clubbing was never really your thing. Music blazing, the smell of alcohol in the air. bodies rolling on each other. Your friend asks you if you were fine then heads straight to the dance floor.

You head to the bar and asked the bartender for a drink. After receiving your drink you sat on one of the stools and drink it, looking around to see if your boyfriend was around.

Finishing the drink and not seeing him, you were starting to feel bad for doubting him, getting ready to leave, you got up but when you do, you saw someone who looks like Tom grinding into a blonde girl.Confusion written on your face. You walk up closer to get a good look, surprised, shock, and anger running through your veins.

You watched as he grinds his hips into her, feeling her up with his hands. It made you sick. Disgusted. What made you feel even sicker was when he turned her around and held a full make-out session with her. Feeling the tears flow from your eyes, you left and tried to find your friend.

You explained to her what happen and even in her drunken state, she tried to comfort you, you both left and head home.

So much for being the only one.

To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to hate you to love me, yeah

For days you felt like shit, for days you ignored his calls, for days you hated him.

You couldn't stand seeing his face, seeing how he was trying to pretend as if ntohing ever happened. It hurt you to know that he was playing his pretend role as if he was acting about how he feels about you. He tried calling but his calls were always ignored.

Tom felt as if you were slowly slipping away from him. He didn't know what he had done wrong. He thought everything was going well. He tried calling one more time, then gave up, deciding to give you your space.

To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to lose you to love me

Saying hello was always easy but saying goodbye was the hardest thing to do.Trying to shove all your clothes into the suitcase, shoving his hands off so your shoulder. You watch him, feeling no emotions, just blank. Empty. Nothing.

"I never thought, you of all people would cheat on me." "What do you mean? I never-" "Oh don't lie Thomas, I saw you, a few weeks ago when you were at the club. , If our relationship wasn't good why couldn't you have said anything? I spent days, weeks trying to get you to talk to me but no. I'm not even surprised, I mean they say actors lie about their true feelings, I guess I missed the warnings huh?"

Tom watched you in shock, not expecting you to call him out on that. He didn't plan for this to happen, it was supposed to be a one-time thing but the thrill and excitement he got made him feel something. He didn't mean to hurt you, but he did. And that was something that he could never take back.

"I'm sorry.." You let out a laugh, this whole situation was funny, "Now you're sorry, for what? For missing out on dates? Coming home late? Ignoring me? Oh wait is it because you got caught cheating on me with some bimbo right?"

"Don't call her that!"

"Ha, you even protect her... I thought you were different, but I guess I was wrong"

And now the chapter is closed and done To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah

Months passed, four to be exact and you have been doing better after moving out of Tom's you were able to afford an apartment for yourself which you then rented out half to your friend. You got promoted from your job and now you're working for more money.

Standing in line, to order your favorite cup of drink, someone bounced into you, knocking their drink on you.

"Watch it you asshole!" "Y/N?"

You look up and notice Tom standing in front of you, holding two cups of coffee.

"Hey, how have you been?" "I've been good, have a few acting roles coming up for a new movie. How about you? I remember you were working for a fashion store"

"I became manager, the pay is nice. If I keep it up they might move me to another firm that pays higher"

He nodded his head at you, feeling a bit proud of you," Well I'm in town for a bit, I won't be leaving until next month"

"Nice" Que the awkwardness

"Hey look, I'm sorry for how things turned out, I didn't mean for it to happen. I was kind of hoping that we could probably talk like we used to, or go to dinner or-"

"Look, Tom, no hard feelings but I'm over that. I have a life now, you started this and you can't make me forget all the pain that you caused me. I'm over that, I'm done crying and you should too."

He nodded his head, trying to hide the disappointment he's feeling, he tried to put on a smile to play it off but you know better, "Well I hope to see you again"

Grabbing your cup of coffee from the cashier, you paid her and face time. You said something which made his smile dropped as he watched you walk out.

"And now it's goodbye, it's goodbye for us"

#angst #tomholland #tom holland imagines #tom holland x reader #x reader #tom holland angst #tom holland x you #romance #tom holland x singer!reader #tom holland fic #fanfiction #oneshot #lyrics #songlyrics

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amysteryspot · 2 years

Text

Lies in the dark - Thomas Shelby x Reader/Uncharacterized OC

Summary: Cecilia learns the hard way all the joy and misery that is loving Thomas Shelby.

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Female reader (named)/Uncharacterized OC; Tommy x Greta

Warnings: pre-war; mild smut; mentions of abortion; cheating; swearing; drinking; smoking; mentions of illness and death; obviously not canon compliant.

English is not my first language and this wasn’t beta’d or proofread.

Word Count: 4687 (or so I’ve heard)

A/N: This was written for @thesoldiersminute 3k celebration (congrats again babes) ‘cause when I saw the “Is there anything you love so much, you’d protect it, no matter the cost, the damage it did to you?” immediately I screamed: TOMMY AND CECILIA. So here we are.

1. This is a prequel of “All the blood I lost with you”, but I believe it can be read as a standalone.

2. Please, PLEASE, read the warnings with caution and don’t read it if you think one of the topics will trigger you.

3. For the sake of my sanity the reader is named but uncharacterized, so if you want to replace the names, you can use the InteractiveFics Chrome extension [You’ll have to replace “Cecilia” - “Cellie” and “Clark”).

4. The explanation to why I decided to name her is only to add some depth into the story by linking her name with the actual plot of the fic. Cecilia means “blind”, in most places you search for it. I like the idea that Cecilia is blinded by her love for Tommy, like Polly said about him and Grace in the first series. As for Clarke, it means “clerk” or “priest”. It kinda makes sense to me that Tommy never lets go of her because she is his “priestess”, the one he always comes back for absolution. He doesn’t believe in God but he believes in her, in some twisted, cruel way.

5. The song from which the title was taken is “Lies in the dark” by Tove Lo (and I’m totally ignoring the fact that the song is related to Fifty shades of gray).

◄ THOMAS SHELBY MASTERLIST | GENERAL MASTERLIST ►

“Where’s Tommy?”

“Good day for you too, love,” John mocked, kissing Cecilia on the cheek, making her smile. “He’s at the Jurossi’s.”

Cecilia’s smile faltered as she averted her gaze from John, stared at the wall and swallowed the lump in her throat.

It felt like going back in time, at times she didn’t have to ask for Tommy, he would just find her. Until Greta.

She remembered the first time the lines between what they meant to each other got blurred.

The memory of that night was still alive in her memory as if it had happened yesterday. How he kissed her so sweetly and so full of hunger at the same time. How thoughtful he was in touching her, kissing her and reassuring her all the time. How right it felt when they were finally joined together as one. She woke up in his bed to find a red rose on his bedside table, only to run straight into Polly as she walked down the stairs with a grin on her lips.

After that, it became a habit, like second nature. He would search for her at any given opportunity, kissing and touching her until all she could think about was him. Spend the night in her room after climbing through her window. Sometimes in his room, they always tried to keep themselves quiet, speaking in rushed words, concealing moans and gasps by pressing their mouths into each other’s skin. Fucking on the floor so they didn’t have to bother with the bed springs making too much noise.

Yet, Cecilia wasn’t the only one. She never was. Tommy had girls throwing themselves at him the whole time. In the beginning, it was just them, and she almost believed that something would bloom out of whatever the hell they had. Soon she learned that it wasn’t enough for him. She wasn’t enough for him.

Tommy never cared about hiding the girls he fucked about with. His brothers and friends teased him about it and he only smirked, telling them to shut up, but he never denied it. Not with her. Their little escapades were always meticulously calculated so nobody would see them together in a compromising position. Of course, Cecilia was at the Shelbys all the time and she was, indeed, Tommy’s friend, he never made a move to acknowledge their relationship. On the contrary, he was keen on keeping it hidden. Cecilia would always be Tommy’s dirty secret.

She still had the moment realisation dawned upon her.

For the first time in weeks, Cecilia was relieved from her duties as an older sister to have some time to herself.

The sky was grey, it was probably going to rain soon, but she didn’t mind. Cecilia smiled as she made her way to the Cut, having already checked that Tommy wasn’t home or at Charlie’s yard. If he wasn’t looking for trouble somewhere with his brothers, there was only one place he would be.

She must have been too distracted in her own little world not to notice the giggles and moans coming from the place she once thought was just hers and Tommy’s.

It was as if she couldn’t breathe, feeling her legs weakened by the sight of Tommy with his pants hanging at his knees, Greta’s legs wrapped around his waist as he thrust into her. Cecilia was stuck in her place as if her legs didn’t want to work. All she wanted was to run away from the place that once felt like her safe heaven but now had been violated.

Cecilia was panting, her heart racing a mile a minute at the thought of one of them seeing her there, but they were too lost in pleasure to notice her.

That night was the first time she got drunk. Trying to drown her sorrows and forget the scene that played on repeat inside her head every time she closed her eyes.

John found her on the stables at Charlie’s yard, laying on the hay, soaking wet from the heavy and unrelenting rain. He didn’t ask her anything, just helped her up and carried her to Martha’s home, sneaking her into his girlfriend's room because he knew that the last place Cecilia needed to be was the Shelby home.

Tommy introduced Greta to his family the next week, Cecilia happened to be there, dragged by Ada to help her sew some clothes. His smile fell when their eyes met. For a moment, Cecilia thought she recognized a hint of regret in his cold gaze, but in the end, she knew it was just fear that she would say something about whatever the hell they had going on between them for the past couple of years.

For some reason, Cecilia never said anything. She just watched Tommy being so happy and enthralled with Greta from afar, until the day he sneaked into her bed again, keeping his hold on her like a vice.

“Is Polly…” she started, but John cut her out before she could finish.

“Yes, in the kitchen.”

John didn’t let go of her—he knew, always did. He was her friend, he knew her, knew about the whole mess the affair between her and Tommy was.

“Thank you.”

Cecilia finally met his gaze. Neither of them was sure about what she was thanking him for—telling her that Polly was home? Never telling anyone about how she always welcomed Tommy in her bed even if her heart shattered every time she woke up alone? Or for letting her cry on his shoulder when the pain his brother caused her was too much?

John only nodded, holding her gaze for another moment before placing a kiss on her forehead and going out the door.

She took a deep breath, composing herself before heading to the kitchen.

“Morning, Pol.”

“Morning, sweetheart,” Polly greeted, a spiral of smoke coming from her lips as she offered the cigarette to Cecilia.

She accepted it, pulling up a chair and sitting down in it, inhaling the smoke and letting it settle on her lungs for a moment before exhaling, passing the cigarette back to Polly.

“Where’s everyone,” Cecilia asked, looking around to the oddly empty kitchen. “I’ve never seen this house so quiet at this hour.”

Polly scoffed, “Ada and Finn are still sleeping, Arthur spent the night God knows where ‘cause he never made it home. John just left, as you saw and Tommy…”

“At the Jurossi’s,” Cecilia finished the sentence to her, accepting the cigarette that was offered to her again, and looking away from Polly. “John told me at the door.”

She occupies herself with the smoke to prevent the words to spill out of her mouth and making a bigger mess of something that was already fucked up.

However, by the way Polly’s eyes were fixed on hers when she passed her cigarette back, Cecilia knew that she had been caught red-handed.

Polly hummed. “He came home last night, dragged from the Jurossis’ house by Freddie. Kitty came to fetch him at dawn ‘cause Greta got worse.”

Cecilia said nothing, just slouched back on the chair, her gaze falling to her hands resting at the table. Her heart was already so broken that Cecilia didn’t even know if there was anything to break yet or if there was just dust inside her chest.

What could she possibly say? That she felt sorry for Tommy and the Jurossi family? Or that she would pray for Greta’s soul? Maybe that she was sorry for the girl who was gonna die so young?

Polly stood up to put the kettle on the stove, rummaging around to start breakfast.

Cecilia was sorry for Greta, her family, and Tommy, but she couldn’t help the anger and the jealousy from running through her veins. She felt guilty. Guilty for everything. For giving herself up to Tommy in ways that she would never be able to get back. For letting him keep her as a dirty secret, someone he could use whenever he wanted and would never betray him. Because she wouldn’t. Even after all the things he put her through, Cecilia was sure that she didn’t have it in her. Guilty about hating Greta for stealing everything from her—her lover, her friend, her safe haven, her happiness.

Guilty for blaming everyone but the person who was really guilty about it all.

“Is there anything you love so much, you’d protect it, no matter the cost, the damage it did to you?”

The words left Cecilia’s mouth before she could stop them and suddenly she couldn’t breathe. Not until Polly turns around to face her.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t know what is wrong with me. I’m just out of sorts today.”

There was a moment of silence that seemed to prolong for a lifetime, even though it had been less than a minute.

“It’s him, isn’t it?”

“Pol, I don’t know what…”

“Yes, you do know,” Polly said firmly, leaning against the countertop. “Tommy is… difficult to understand, sometimes. He does what he does, the way he does, to protect the family, those he loves. But sometimes he doesn’t go about it the right way.”

Polly sighs, pouring some tea into a cup and bringing it to Cecilia, sitting down to look at her.

“You deserve better than him.” The statement was clear and honest. No glint of regret or shame in Polly’s eyes.

Cecilia opened her mouth to speak, but Polly silenced her before any words came out of her lips.

“He knows that. Tommy hurts you because he thinks you deserve better and this is the only way he sees to push you away.”

“And this makes it all okay,” Cecilia asked, her voice sounding a little louder than she intended and laced with bitterness. “He thinks that I deserve better—good old me, who spends more than half of her time taking care of her younger siblings, trying to find little jobs that can bring some more money home, that is as much of an outcast as he is. If I deserve better, why is he with Greta?”

Polly stared at her, taken aback by the words.

“Sometimes men think with their cocks.”

“Yeah, Tommy does that just alright,” Cecilia scoffed. “The only thing is, he goes around fucking half of Small Heat just to crawl back in my bed.”

By the look Polly gave her, the information was nothing but new. Cecilia wasn’t surprised, Polly always seemed to know everything.

Cecilia sighs and then asks, “Everybody knows?”

“Doubt it,” Polly answered, lighting another cigarette, “I just know him too much.” She exhaled and passed the fag to Cecilia, adding, “and you as well.”

Sighing, Cecilia smoked, resting her forehead in her hands after passing the cigarette back to Polly.

“John knows.”

Polly hummed. “Yeah, figured as much.”

Minutes passed before Polly talked again.

“I just don’t understand one thing.”

Cecilia looked up at her, frowning and waiting for whatever Polly wanted to say.

“Why do you let him do that to you?”

Gobsmacked, Cecilia forgot how to breathe for a moment.

Why did she let Tommy do that to her?

The Clarks weren’t that much different from the Shelbys, like most of the people living on the outskirts of Birmingham.

Her father worked at the factory, spent a good amount of his money on drinks, gambling and whores, and for that reason, Cecilia and her mother did their best to bring some more money home to feed and clothe her younger siblings. The beatings weren’t as constant as what used to be at the Shelby’s household when Arthur Sr was around, but the struggles were pretty much the same.

Tommy was one of the first people that showed her some kindness. Cecilia remembers the day some boys from her class tripped her onto the muddy floor, making her fall forward on her hands and knees to prevent her face from hitting the ground. It was Tommy that ran from the other side of the street, scaring the boys away and helping her get back on her feet. He collected her books and brought her to 6 Watery Lane, where his mother took care of her bleeding hands and knees.

She had no chance after that. They became fast friends, John was the same age as her, Ada liked having another girl around and before Cecilia could notice, all the Clark children were as close as it gets with the Shelby children.

Cecilia’s parents didn’t love each other. Well, her father didn’t love her mother. The same with Arthur Shelby Sr and Anastacia. There was no kindness or affection between them, so she never knew the difference.

Her love for Tommy stayed a secret until after Finn was born and Arthur Sr left, leaving behind his children and wife to struggle alone. It was the final straw for Anastacia, and suddenly the Shelby children only had each other.

The burden of helping to provide for his family took its toll on Tommy, he was often snappy and angry. Not with her though. She always listened to him ramble about his struggles and Cecilia did her best to soothe his pain.

Somewhere along the way soothing his pain included falling into bed with him.

The reasons behind why she let him do that to her, why she let him crawl back into her bed for crumbs of his affection, weren’t clear to Cecilia until that moment. Sitting with Polly in the kitchen of the Shelby home, a cup of tea getting cold in front of her, the cigarette burning in between her fingers—Cecilia craved affection. Tommy just happened to be the first person outside of her family that showed he cared for her without asking anything in exchange. So she clings to him, believing she would never find anyone to willingly do for her what Tommy did.

And it was too late now. Too late for Cecilia to escape his grasp on her because she loved him. She loved him with all of her body and her soul and it was as if she belonged to him since the night they made love for the first time.

That day Cecilia accepted her fate—she would never be able to free herself from Thomas Shelby.

Greta died that night.

She was buried the next afternoon when a little glimpse of sun blessed Small Heat.

Cecilia was there. She never got close to Tommy though, choosing to stay behind, looking at him from afar as he grieved another woman.

There wasn’t much to do that day. Her father was away for a couple of days under the pretence of working and her mother had taken her siblings to see their grandparents. Cecilia stayed behind, wanting some peace and quiet for once.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise when Tommy appeared at her door, soaking wet from the heavy rain falling from the skies, barely giving her time to register that it was him before pulling her to his body and attaching their lips.

He wasn’t gentle that night. They crashed against each other in a mess of limbs as they fumbled through their clothes on the way to Cecilia’s bedroom.

The following morning, she woke up sore and ashamed to an empty bed.

Nothing changed after that, or so it seemed. Tommy still sought her out when he felt the need to, Cecilia still let him use her as he pleased. Rumour had it that he wasn’t walking around fucking a different woman every night. Cecilia tried to push the hope that it was, indeed, truth, aside. He was mourning Greta, after all.

Then why didn’t he stop coming back for her?

Familiarity, she thought. Cecilia was fairly sure that even when he was rough with her, they shared more intimacy between them than any other woman that had fucked him.

When things got back to a sense of normalcy again, the news about the war was unleashed all over the country.

She knew what was coming. Her father had been drafted along with many of his coworkers, so when Cecilia set foot on the 6 Watery Lane to Polly screaming while tears ran free down her cheeks, no explanation was needed.

Nevertheless, she searched for Tommy, if it was for confirmation or to find some solace Cecilia didn’t know. Their gazes met and, for a moment, Cecilia wished she had stayed home instead of going there.

She tried to ignore the swirl of emotions raging inside of her, walking to Polly to try and calm her down, the same as she had done with her mother. Polly didn’t fight her for long, soon they were both sitting around the table, with Cecilia rubbing a hand at the older woman’s back, trying to soothe her sobs, unable to shed tears of her own.

At the end of the day, Cecilia just wanted a place where she could be alone with her thoughts. A couple of minutes of silence to try and tame her emotions, to recollect herself to face what was to come. The news of the war had been hard, but Cecilia knew that what came with it would be a lot harder to deal with.

Her first choice would be the hiding spot by the canal, but the mere thought of it made her insides churn and her heart ache. Cecilia’s feet got her to Charlie’s yard, instead, where she occupied herself with petting and talking with the horses.

“Was looking for you at our usual spot.”

Cecilia’s hand froze, tangled in Thunder’s mane.

“It hadn’t been mine for a long while,” she harshly remarked.

By the way he looked at her, Cecilia could only imagine what was going around inside his head.

She didn’t know if Tommy was aware that she knew all along that he brought Greta to the place they used to meet. Not once, or twice, but every time they got together, hiding from Greta’s parents.

Cecilia believed he wasn’t dense to the point of thinking she didn’t know it, not even that Tommy didn’t know she would be hurt by it, maybe he only thought she would never confront him about it.

Tommy stood there, frozen, while she busied herself in threading her fingers through Thunder’s mane again. The horse nuzzled its head against her shoulder, making her let out a soft laugh.

She felt the heat of Tommy’s body before his hands came up around her. He spoke to the horse in a hushed tone, in his ancestor’s language, and Cecilia asked herself if the words were directed at the animal or her.

Thunder backed away from her, going further inside of its bay. It was then that Tommy turned her around to face him, keeping her close by hugging her waist tightly against his body. Cecilia had no choice but to look him in the eyes, resting her hands on his chest.

He covered one of her hands in his, guiding it to rest against his heart.

“Here,” he said in a hushed tone, “this is your spot, no other place matters.”

Cecilia scoffed, “If I didn’t know how much you care about your family I would doubt that there’s even a heart beating inside your chest.”

Furrowing his brows, Tommy asked, “What’s gotten to you?”

Shaking her head, Cecilia tried to break free from his arms, but he was stronger and her defences were already failing. Tommy pulled her against him again, rough fingers carefully lifting her chin so they could look each other in the eye.

Was it worth it to fight with him right now? Greta was dead, Tommy would be gone in a week and the damage had already been done. It wasn’t like he was the only one to blame for it, Polly was right in pointing out that Cecilia never refused or questioned him.

“What is it,” Tommy asked again, voice soft as a caress, as he brought her hand back over his heart, while the other rested against her cheek.

“Nothing,” she answered, closing her eyes and leaning in his touch, choosing, yet again, not to fight him.

“Hey, hey, look at me.”

She did as he said, rewarded with a loving smile, that made one of her own bloom on her face.

“That’s it,” he breathed, “that’s my girl.”

Except that she wasn't.

They made love the night before he was supposed to board the train away from Small Heat and be shipped to an unknown place.

He was relentless, making her come again, and again, and again, as if he was on a mission to ensure she wouldn’t forget him. It was useless, Tommy had already ruined her the moment Cecilia gave herself to him.

When morning came, Cecilia turned around in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Her father was leaving, between Cecilia, her mother and siblings, there were six mouths to feed. She couldn’t decide what was worse, seeing her father go away or being left behind to deal with problems that were bigger than her.

Her mother was a crying mess, half of her siblings were too young to understand what was happening, and Cecilia couldn’t find it in her another tear to shed. She hugged her father and swallowed the lump in her throat as he pressed a kiss to her cheek, musing over the fact that she probably would miss him that much.

Arthur was the first of the Shelby brothers to reach out for her, hugging her a little tighter than he usually would. Of the three brothers he was the one that was less close to her, and yet, he would always have her back when needed. They shared a kind smile as Cecilia told him to take care, to which he nodded.

Without giving her time to think, John came next, literally sweeping her off her feet, arms holding her tightly by the waist. When he put her down, Cecilia cradled his face between her hands.

“Will you keep an eye on her,” he asked, voice breaking as he tried not to show how worried he was about leaving his wife and children behind.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “yes, I’ll keep an eye on them and you take care of yourself to come back in one piece for them.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he joked, smirking back at her, making a tiny smile appear on her lips, before walking away.

It took only a second for her to feel the heat of a familiar body behind hers. Tommy manoeuvred her around so they would see each other eye to eye.

“Won't you give me a kiss goodbye,” he asked, a playful smirk on his lips.

Cecilia sighed, tiredly. “Thought we only did that in secret.”

His smile fell and one of his hands made its way to rest at the nape of her neck, thumb gently caressing her jaw, as his other hand kept her close to him by holding her waist in a tight grip.

“Don’t be like that, Cellie, eh.” His icy blue eyes stared back at her, a glimpse of worry on his features. “You’re the most important person in my life. I’ll come back to you and we’ll sort it out, okay?”

Tommy cradled her face, not letting her look away from him when Cecilia gave him no reaction.

“I promise.”

Sighing, Cecilia said, “Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep.”

Cecilia wasn’t sure if he understood all she was pouring down on such a simple sentence, but by the look in his eyes, she was fairly sure that he did.

All of his beautiful words, vows whispered against her skin, promises that flowed sweetly from his lips that Tommy probably never had the intention to fulfil. Years and years of her youth devoted to him, wasted on him.

His lips found hers as the sound of the whistle signalled the last call to board. She couldn’t help but melt into it a little bit, her hands holding his wrists as the moment slipped through their fingers.

Out of breath, Tommy bumped his nose on hers, looking her in the eyes and whispering, “We’ll sort it out.”

His hands ghosted against her skin until he reluctantly let go of her hand.

Cecilia watched him go, only shedding a tear when she couldn’t see him anymore.

Unbeknown to her, Tommy did his best to watch her until the train was so far away that her silhouette couldn’t be recognized anymore, wondering if he had finally pushed her too far this time.

Everything was new and at the same time not. Without most of the men in town, the woman had to learn how to take charge of everything in order to survive. Between her siblings and Martha’s children, they had a handful to deal with, not to mention little Finn and Ada.

Polly took the reins of the betting shop and Cecilia started working there with her. Cecilia’s mother mostly took care of the children, cooking and cleaning for Clarks and Shelbys alike.

When Cecilia thought that things might have settled for a while, her worst fear came true.

Chest heaving and eyes closed, Cecilia rests her head against the back wall of the betting shop, trying to calm down her raging stomach. It was the third time she had thrown up that day and at that point, she didn’t know what to do anymore.

She heard the door open and close, a moment of silence hanging in the air before Polly finally spoke,

“Tell me it isn’t what I think it is.”

Straightening herself, Cecilia looked back at Polly, taking a deep breath to try and steady herself.

“I sure hope it isn’t.”

She had been fighting against the odds for about a week, but there were not many options to explain why Cecilia didn’t bleed this month, feeling ill all the time, not being able to keep anything down and starting to lose weight.

“Then it is,” Polly sighed, then took a deep breath, looking at Cecilia, “Do you know what you want to do?”

“I can’t keep it,” Cecilia spilt, breath uneven.

She recognized the look in Polly’s eyes but she couldn’t let herself think too much or she would change her mind.

“Think about it, there is no going back from this.”

“I can’t, Polly,” shocked. “I can’t do this alone and certainly not in the middle of all of this. We’re struggling enough as it is, Martha’s already expecting another baby, and I’m unmarried. I’m not even engaged, there is no claim on me, you know what this baby will be.”

A bastard.

Cecilia couldn’t bring herself to say the word, but it wasn’t needed, Polly knew.

“A little bit of him and a little bit of you, Cecilia,” Polly reminded her.

“Would he even want this baby, Polly,” she asked, tears falling down her cheeks. “What guarantee I have that he will come back and want this baby. If he’s coming back at all. Maybe he would’ve wanted it gone anyway.”

“Write to him, then,” Polly argued, but Cecilia only shook her head.

“No, this is women’s business, and I’ll take care of it myself.”

Polly held her as she cried, laying in Tommy’s bed, bleeding after getting rid of their child. Cecilia knew it was the best decision, the only possible decision, but it still hurt.

A little bit of him and a little bit of you.

Maybe she wouldn’t have the chance of having his child again. Or at all, Cecilia knew about a couple of women that couldn’t get pregnant anymore after the procedure. What would he think about it when he came back? Would he blame her? Ressent her?

“You can’t tell him, Polly,” Cecilia pleaded, propping herself up just enough to look at her. “He will never know about it.”

“Cellie…”

“If Tommy comes back, you won’t tell him. Promise me.”

Polly stared back at her, teary-eyed.

“I promise.”

Letting out a breath in relief, Cecilia let her head fall into Polly’s lap again. This mourning was something she would go through alone.

Taglist: @tommydoesntpayforsuits @ilovemanypeople @mikeys-thighs @nerdy4itall @internalmess3 @caelys @annisse @lyarr24 @theshelbyclan @datewithgianni @freyagallileaevans @lauren-raines-x @skinny-bitch-juice @leeroysdancer @eliseline @katmoonz @pxstellumx @misselsbells06 @alreadybroken-ts

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hxt1b · 4 years

Text

Let’s Just Let it Go

Doyoung x Reader

Genre: Angst, some fluff (it’s there I swear) CollegeAU (HockeyPlayer!Doyoung)

Warning: MATURE CONTENT/DARK THEMES, drinking (drink responsibly please), SMUT, swearing, TW sexual assault.

WC: 11k

Song Rec: when the party’s over by Billie Eilish

Accompanying Stories: As Long As I’m Here, Isn’t It Lovely All Alone.

Masterlist

Hockey AU Masterlist

A/N: You do not have to read all the stories to read this one. You can read this as a standalone, however reading the other two will give a better understanding of the backgrounds of the characters so if you do read all I’d suggest reading the other two first. However, by all means this can be read independently you will still understand the plot and everything without reading the other two. Lastly, please excuse the grammar, I read it over but still some things may have slipped through.

“You keep condoms in your wallet?” You asked looking up at him. Doyoung’s head was swimming, but then again that much alcohol would do that to you.

“Would you rather I didn’t have one right now?” he asked his words slurring. You shook your head. Doyoung smirked returning his attention to opening the packet and putting the condom on. He pushed you into the wall again, grabbing you from the back of your thighs forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he pushed into you.

“Fuck,” He grunted as he began to move in you. To be honest, Doyoung didn’t remember your name, he had asked, but he couldn’t recall. You’d met a couple of hours ago in the packed club, Doyoung was seeing double of everyone by the time his eyes landed on you, keeping his steps stable was a feat as he made his way over to where you were dancing, drawing you in however wasn’t that hard. You were just as drunk as him.

Your arms looped around his neck as you filled his ears with breathy moans. Doyoung was so far gone, his mind was empty as you tightened around him. A few more thrusts and he came, letting his head fall into your shoulder as he did. You stilled against him; he didn’t really know if you finished. But he was too drunk to care. After getting his breathing to even out slightly he pulled out of you.

“Well,” He said as he carefully took off the condom, “Thank you I guess.” He looked around the bathroom locating the garbage can and tossed the used condom into it. With that, he left the bathroom not looking back at you. He was still stumbling seeing two of everyone one that passed by him.

He laughed to himself as he ran into a chair. But it was better this way, he didn’t remember anything this way. Kim Doyoung could successfully say that he had just wrapped up the most unmemorable summer of his life. Unmemorable because he was drunk throughout the entire thing, but it was okay because not once this summer did Doyoung think about the girl that cheated on him. Not once did he think about Yuta, the man that he looked up to. The one that slept with his girlfriend. Nope, they didn’t even cross his mind.

But they did.

Every damn day.

---

“Get up.” The voice pounded in Doyoung’s head and a hand reached out and shook him. He grumbled. Slowly opening his eyes, he glared up at Kun. He watched as his friend rolled his eyes at him.

“We have practice.” Doyoung pulled his blanket over his head, he shouldn’t have drank last night. “Come on.”

What a new kind of hell he’d entered. He’d told himself that once the hockey practice started, he’d be fine. He wouldn’t drink, Yuta had managed to graduate, he’d avoid his ex, the campus was big enough. He could still avoid his ex, she wasn’t even on campus yet. Only the athletes were here a month before everyone. But the not drinking once hockey started, that didn’t happen, so he told himself when the semester started, and today after practice the semester started, he would have to stop drinking and his ex would be back.

He groaned again throwing his covers off of himself and getting up. His head ached with each step he took towards the shared bathroom. They had moved, this house was bigger but they still needed to share a bathroom, well at least Ten, Jaehyun, Jungwoo and himself did. Kun upon stepping into the master room with the huge en-suite pulled his new captain status on them and took the damn room.

“You’re just waking up?” Jaehyun asked him, as he passed the younger boy in the hallway. Doyoung didn’t respond just walked past him keeping his head down.

Getting into the bathroom he looked at himself, taking in his appearance, he had a huge hickey on the side of his neck, how he got it was a slight blur to him. He remembered flashes of the night only. His hair was sticking out into a million directions he looked awful, he looked sick. Looking away from himself he grabbed his toothbrush and got ready for practice, he was gonna need a gallon of coffee.

Hockey was an escape, he could be as brutal as he wanted on the ice, he was itching for a proper game so that he wouldn’t have to hold himself back he couldn’t bang up his teammates. He needed a game.

Well, it was an escape until the new guy opened his mouth.

“Hungover again Kim, why am I not shocked?” Doyoung sneered at the man lacing up his skates as he walked into the change room. His hands clenching into fists at his side, but he didn’t reply, because he was hungover, and this guy was the only one that called him out on it. Because he was the only one that didn’t know. Yet, it didn’t make Doyoung hate him any less.

What kind of a nickname was Winwin anyway?

Rolling his eyes Doyoung dumped his stuff into his cubby taking his gear out and getting ready for practice.

“Ignore him,” Kun said from his left.

“I am,” Doyoung replied.

On the ice, Doyoung couldn’t deny the new kid was an ace, why he transferred to their school he couldn’t say. He used to play for the team that they lost to last year, one step away from the cup. But that school had a killer roaster, this kid being one of the beasts on it, but here he was. Skating towards Doyoung with the puck. Their coach was ending this practice with a scrimmage, the hockey season would be starting in a few days and the coach claimed that this would re-charge everyone’s competitive sides because this was their season.

He let him get close before he began his chase, letting Winwin come to him before blocking his path he hit him into the boards. It wasn’t a hard hit, but it was a hit. They both lost the puck as Winwin bounded off the plexiglass and slammed his hands into Doyoung’s chest.

“What the fuck man?!” He asked. Doyoung shrugged, their coach was yelling as he skated over. Kun already there grabbing Winwin as he glared at Doyoung.

“What on earth are you doing kid?” The coach barked at Doyoung.

“Sorry I just got into it.” He said not feeling sorry at all. Maybe he wasn’t doing the best job of ignoring him.

“Apologize to him.” He mentally scowled, he didn’t appreciate being treated like he was a toddler.

“Sorry.”

“Okay get off the ice, shower. Practice is over!”

“Dude you gotta relax.” Ten said skating next to Doyoung.

“Why the fuck do they even call him Winwin?” Doyoung’s irritation was evident “I fucking hate the guy.

“It’s because he fucking Wins, they use to call him their lucky charm ‘Winwin.’”

---

Loneliness was a part of life that you accepted long ago, it was something that just came with your life. Your parents were rich, and they shouldn't have had kids, because they couldn’t give two shits about the two children they had. So, loneliness wasn’t an issue for you not until the reality settled in that this wasn’t loneliness it was abandonment and that was a hard pill to swallow. Looking around your dorm you took in your roommate's side it was decorated in whites, it kind of hurt your eyes but you weren’t going to say anything. It was better than being stuck in an apartment with your brother. You felt bad when you left him alone in the huge penthouse seeing as you were the reason that the two of you were here. But you couldn’t take it there anymore everything reminded you of the fact that your parents didn’t care about you.

Your phone rang pulling you away from the anger that was bubbling up inside of you at the thought of your parents. Being replaced by a growing laugh as you looked at the caller ID. Your brother.

“Hello.” You answered.

“Want to move back yet?” He teased.

“No, I do not I actually like it here.” You replied getting off your bed and beginning to pace your room. He laughed, the sound making you smile.

“I was just teasing. I called to ask if you wanted to get lunch together today?” He asked. You frowned.

“Sicheng, you aren’t eating with your teammates yet?” Your tone not hiding your disappointment.

“No,” he replied curtly.

“Be nice to them, be friends with them.”

He ignored you, “So are you going to eat with me or not?”

“No, I’ll be eating with my roommate.” You answered as she came into the room, she smiled at you having heard what you said, and you smiled back. Despite her obsession with white, you actually really liked her. “Speaking of whom, I gotta go now.”

“Fine.”

---

By lunch, Doyoung was starving, having not had time to eat after he showered in the change room. His stomach was grumbling loudly when he took his seat next to Kun at their table in the cafeteria.

“You know I’m shocked by how good the cafeteria food is here.” Mark, a first-year rookie, said drawing the attention of the table.

“Yo same, people complain a lot about cafeteria food I was actually stressed.” Hendery another rookie agreed.

Doyoung nodded, “We lucked out.”

“Yo Winwin, come sit here!” Kun yelled from next to Doyoung making him turn his head in the direction Kun was yelling in. Winwin stopped in his tracks and looked over at the table. Doyoung glared at the side of Kun’s head, but Kun ignored him.

“Be nice,” Kun muttered to him as Winwin sat down across from him at the only empty seat on the table. Doyoung did his best not to scowl. Doyoung retreated into his own brain as the table continued to chat. He focused on the broccoli on his plate. He didn’t dare look around the cafeteria.

Fuck looking at the insufferable cocky bastard in front of him, he was afraid he would see his ex. Ever since practice ended in the morning he was on edge; he didn’t want to run into her in a hallway again he was afraid because he didn’t know how he’d react. He wanted to say he wouldn’t care that he’d just walk by her and maybe he would, but he felt like he wouldn’t the risk was too high.

“So, the party is at our place on Friday to kick off the year, that way we can celebrate the four rookies joining our team, along with Winwin coming to us this year and our boy Jungwoo finally hitting the ice in a game,” Jaehyun said, as Doyoung finally tuned back into the boy's conversation.

“So, you’ll come Winwin?” Ten asked. Doyoung looked up at him frowning, the younger boy played with the fries on his plate as he nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll come by.”

“Cool bring friends if you want to.” Ten said smiling at him.

---

Doyoung made it to Friday without a drink, and then he thought about how he promised himself he wouldn’t drink when the semester started. He then re-evaluated his choice and edited his promise, he wouldn’t drink without cause this semester, and a start of the year party was cause. Was it not? The boy in the mirror smiled back at him as he held his cup up to his reflection in a cheers before downing it.

It was most definitely cause.

Leaving his room his body already buzzing he skipped down the stairs, straight into a girl. You. Doyoung looked you up and down, taking in the tight jeans you had on. He liked the way they made your ass look. He also really liked the baby pink top you had on. It was clinging to you like a second skin showing off your assets. Doyoung smirked down at you, for some reason you looked familiar.

“I’m sorry about that.” He said and you scoffed.

“Whatever.”

Doyoung stared at your back as you walked away confused at the reaction he gleaned. He’d never been bad with chicks or at least he thought he wasn’t. He looked over at your friend who shrugged at him before following you.

His house was full of people he didn’t know, and some he did. But he was at ease, this was one place he knew that his ex wouldn’t show up. So, with a quiet laugh to himself, he followed you into the living room. You were standing beside Winwin. He leaned against the wall and watched you interact with his teammate; the interaction was friendly. From the way you reacted to him it was easy to see that the two of you were close.

“What are you looking at?” Xiaojun, another first-year rookie, asked coming up next to him.

Doyoung replied by nodding his head in the direction of the pair, and Xiaojun nodded.

“His sister is hot, isn’t she?” Doyoung froze as the words left the youngers mouth. Sister.

And then it came to him, the image of you pressed against a bathroom wall, with your dress pushed up as he moved inside you. Doyoung mentally facepalmed as he remembered how he left you. Turning away Xiaojun, Doyoung moved out of the living room and into the kitchen. He went straight to the cabinet where Jaehyun kept his good liquor. Pulling out a large bottle of tequila Doyoung looked around for a shot glass. He turned around and straight into Jaehyun himself. Jaehyun looked at him with a ‘what are you doing’ expression on his face.

“I will buy you more.” Doyoung simply said finally locating the object he was looking for. Bringing the small glass over to his spot he poured some for himself. Jaehyun watched him as he tipped his head back downing the alcohol not even flinching at the burn.

“Whoa,” Jaehyun said as Doyoung went to pour himself another one. “Aren’t you trying to like drink less or something?”

“I slept with Winwin’s sister.” He quickly replied taking the next shot.

“Just now?” Jaehyun asked taking the shot glass from Doyoung after poured himself another shot.

“No. Last week.”

“Dude what the fuck.”

“Dude what the fuck indeed.” Your voice cut into their conversation making them both snap their head towards you. Leaning forward you took the full shot glass from Jaehyun’s hand and drank it.

“I didn’t even get to finish.” You said after the burn in your throat subsided. Doyoung flushed as the memory of how he left you in the bathroom flooded his mind. Jaehyun looked at him a shocked expression on his face before he broke into a smile. Doyoung could tell he was trying not to laugh at him.

He scowled in your direction taking the shot glass from you before pouring himself another shot. Jaehyun took it before he could drink it.

“Slow down,” Jaehyun said the previous laughter gone. Doyoung rolled his eyes and moved to walk away from you and Jaehyun.

“You know,” You said moving into his space. The two shots he’d just taken hadn’t quite hit him full force yet. “up until you ran away from me, I was actually having a good time.” Your chest brushed his as you leaned further into him. Doyoung narrowed his eyes but didn’t back away from you.

“Too bad you don’t actually know how to make a girl cum.” You pulled away from him taking the shot glass again. Doyoung glared at the side of your head as you poured yourself another shot. He looked past you meeting Jaehyun eyes again, the boy flat out laughing this time.

“I do, in fact, know how to make a girl cum.” He said. You scoffed.

“I wouldn’t know.” You replied and threw your head back taking the shot. You shot him a wink before walking away from him. Jaehyun only laughed harder when Doyoung looked at him again. Sneering at the younger boy he reached for the shot glass again.

“No,” Jaehyun said grabbing it before he did. “Pace yourself, Kun will slaughter you. You promised.” He regretted speaking to the new captain sometimes, he regretted telling Kun so much, but he did need help keeping himself in check. Doyoung rolled his eyes at Jaehyun before walking away.

For the rest of the party, he couldn’t get his mind off of you. You stuck to your brother and your friend for the majority of the party and Doyoung didn’t like to interact with him more than he already needed to. Taking his eyes off you as you laughed at something your friend said Doyoung looked around the living room, Kun and Jaehyun weren’t anywhere in sight. He could only spot the rookies as they played beer pong in the corner of the room. Getting up from his spot on the couch he made his way into the kitchen again not seeing any of his roommates. Taking his chance, he made his way to the cabinet pulling it open and grabbing Jaehyun’s Tequila again. Your words pounding in his head as he took a shot straight from the bottle.

“Getting shit-faced as usual,” Winwin said coming into the kitchen. Doyoung didn’t look at him as he took another swing.

“How about you mind your own business,” Doyoung said and brushed past him back into the living room taking the bottle with him. His eyes narrowed in on you as you swayed to the music. Doyoung wasn’t in the mood of arguing with Winwin but if he had been he would have claimed that this was nothing compared to how his drinking usually went. He hadn’t had more than a couple of sips of Kun’s drink after the shots he took in the kitchen until now. Walking up to you he caught your attention, your eyes landing on the bottle he held in his hand.

He let you take it from him as he leaned into the wall. He watched you take a drink some of the alcohol flowing out the corner of your mouth.

“Where did your friend go?” He asked as you wiped at your mouth.

“Home. She’s not really into parties.” You replied. Doyoung watched as you licked your lips passing him the bottle back. But he didn’t want the alcohol. His mind running as he took you in, his mind flashing to the night last week.

“That’s a shame.” He replied. Your eyes darkened as he reached out and pulled you to him. “So, you're just here all by yourself now. Hanging out with your brother.” His hand moving to the side of your neck as he looked down at you. You let him, biting your lip as you looked up at him.

“There’s nothing wrong with hanging out with my brother.” You replied.

“No there isn’t except that you aren’t hanging out with him right now, are you?” You frowned up at him and then looked around the room. Doyoung followed your gaze, Winwin was still in the kitchen. Doyoung smiled to himself as you turned your eyes back to him.

“It’s a good thing I came when I did.” You snickered at his words.

“Is it though?” He rolled his eyes at you. That was it, he could not go down in history with this shit on his name.

---

You crashed into his door, your back stinging from the impact but you ignored it as his lips returned to yours. His lips were rough, moving against yours at a bruising rate, you loved it. His hands were roaming your body pulling at your clothes.

“Bed.” You breathed against his mouth. He chuckled at you as he grabbed your hands holding them above your head as he continued to kiss you.

“You don’t get to call any shots babe.” He said, his mouth moving from your lips to your jaw, leaving a start mark on your skin. You moaned tilting your head to give him more space, he took the chance to leave soft kisses down your neck towards your chest. His hands letting yours go as he lowered himself down your body.

He looked up at you as he got on his knees, his fingers grabbing at the buttons of your jeans before undoing them. You watched as he undressed you, leaving you naked from the bottom half as you stepped out of your jeans. Doyoung licked his lips as he grabbed your leg draping it over his shoulder.

He pressed a wet kiss to the inside of your thigh, your breath hitched as you watched him. Your hand moving to his hair. He moaned softly when you tugged on the strands pulling him towards your wet heat. He pressed a kiss to your clit, using his fingers to separate your folds, relieving some of the tension that was boiling up in your body. You moaned when he darted his tongue out, a short lick. Before retreating again and looking up at you. Your eyes glassed over as you pulled at his hair again.

He obliged again, licking up your slit slowly, dragging his tongue through your wet folds. He groaned into you, the vibrations causing you to shiver. Your head fell back against the door and he took your clit into his mouth, sucking slowly. His tongue ghosting over it. You moved your hips against his mouth wanting him to add his fingers. But your words were lost on you, only nonsense flowing past your lips as he picked up his pace. Your moans grew louder as you drew closer, your eyes closed shut as you chased your climax.

His name rolled off your tongue as your back arched off the door. The muscles in your body tightened, as you clambered for a better grip on him. You felt his teeth gently nip at your hard nub and you crashed over the edge, your orgasm taking over your body as you pulled at his hair. He continued his ministrations, working you through your orgasm. Your body was in overdrive as you came down, a lot more sensitive than you previously were. You pulled at his hair again pulling away from you, he scowled up at you as you finally looked down at him. His lips were red and wet. He grabbed your hands as he got up. Pulling you to the bed.

He let you lay down, as he rounded the bed going to his nightstand. He pulled out silver handcuffs. Your breathing shallowed as you took in the steel in his hands.

“No more touching me.” He said as he placed a knee onto the bed leaning over you. He grabbed your hands bringing them up to his headboard. He closed one handcuff around your wrist the cold metal making you hiss as it came in contact with your skin. He looped the handcuffs around one of the metal rungs on his bed before bringing the other one to your other hand locking you in.

He took a second to look down at you, before leaning down and kissing your swollen lips. You moaned into him, his tongue brushing against yours, you could taste yourself on him and it was driving you crazy. Your thighs already moving against each other as your body reacted to him, more moisture pooling in between your legs.

“I probably should have taken this off first,” Doyoung said pulling away from your lips. His hands moving under your shirt pushing it up off you leaving it around your hands, he did the same with your bra.

“But then again, you’re not the most attentive to details, are you?” You teased, he narrowed his eyes at you pinching your nipple, earning a soft cry from you.

“I wouldn’t be saying shit like that right now.” He threatened, lowering his mouth to your breast. You gasped as he took your pointed nub into his hot mouth, swirling his tongue around your nipple before letting it go. He glanced up at you before trailing wet kisses over to your other breast and doing the same thing there. You squirmed underneath him, clenching your thighs tightly as you got worked up again. He pulled back from your chest looking down at your closed legs, a chuckle leaving him as he looked back up at you. His eyes dark, his pupils blown.

Adjusting so that he was between your legs he hovered over you, leaving marks on your collarbone. You hissed moving against him, you could feel his erection through his jeans. You rolled your hips into him savouring the small amount of friction you were getting until he grabbed your hips and pushed them down into his bed. You groaned against his mouth as he pressed his mouth onto yours, his tongue pushing against yours.

Finally, his fingers connected with your core, he slid a finger into you using his thumb to rub your already abused and sensitive clit. A loud moan left you again as your wrists pulled against the handcuffs, the metal biting into your skin.

“Faster please.” You whined trying to move against his hand but not being able to, his hand holding your hip only tightened. You’d most definitely have a bruise there tomorrow. He picked up the pace. He kissed you harder as he added another finger, his tongue mirroring the actions of his hand as he propelled you towards another orgasm, your body seized up again, muscles tightening as you arched up into him. Your orgasm came faster this time, having already been worked up from the previous one. You panted against him as he pulled his fingers out of you, you watched biting your lower lip as he took his fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean.

“I’d say you’d agree, I’m actually great at making women cum.”

---

You walked into the cafeteria the next day for lunch, the hockey team as per usual was in their typical spot. Your brother sitting in the middle talking. You smiled as you neared the table coming up behind Doyoung. Kun smiled at you as you looped your arms around Doyoung’s neck. He stiffened for a second before turning his head to look at you, only relaxing when he realized it was you.

“Your dear brother is right there.” He said to you quietly.

“My brother doesn’t dictate who I fuck.” You replied pressing a kiss to his lips. Doyoung narrowed his eyes at you as you took the empty seat next to him. For some reason, you were really bold around this man, something you hadn’t been in a long time. You looked across the table feeling your brothers’ eyes on you. You smiled at him before turning back to Doyoung, but Doyoung was looking past you. Trying to get his attention but failing you followed his gaze, seeing a girl who was also staring back. You recognized the girl as your neighbour.

“Do you know her?” You asked finally getting Doyoung’s attention. He didn’t reply just pulled your chair closer before snaking his hand around the back of your head and pulling your lips to his. You kissed him back with the same desperation he displayed only pulling away when you needed to breathe. Kun whistled as you wiped at your lips, when you looked at Doyoung he was looking past you again. You threw a quick glance over your shoulder to see the girl gone.

“Doyoung?”

“My ex.” He answered you as he turned to his food.

---

Sitting in your room as Sena, your roommate and you waited for your next class you replayed the way Doyoung had reacted in the cafeteria.

“Sena,” you started looking over at her, “you said you stayed in this dorm last year too?” Sena nodded turning her attention to you. “Did you have the same neighbour?”

“Yeah, why?” She asked, now putting her pen down and turning her full attention to you.

“Her and Doyoung used to date, right?” Sena sighed her eyes moving around the room as she realized what you were asking.

“Yeah, they did. She cheated on him though. I would hear them sometimes, mostly Doyoung, but it was painful to hear. One night. He begged her to let him in for hours and she just left him out in the hall. It was all over campus too, she slept with his teammate. Yuta.”

You bit your lip as Sena turned back to her book, you didn’t know how to react. Being cheated on was a horrible thing but to have it happen with someone as close as your teammate.

“Fuck a teammate that doesn’t know the first thing about being a decent human.”

Your brothers’ words floated into your head. You were confused about how people could just so easily trample over others. You thought about Doyoung’s face at lunch, how quickly he shut off after seeing his ex. Your mind floating to the dark places you tried very hard to hide from as you remembered the last party you’d gone to at your old university.

“Crap Y/N we have ten minutes until class let’s get going,” Sena said as she scrambled to get her stuff together.

---

You saw Doyoung again after class, he was walking across the parking lot to his car. He hadn’t seen you yet but you smiled as you decided to make your way over to him, it was weird that you enjoyed his company only because besides fooling around nothing else had really happened. You made it to his car before he did. So, you took the extra free time to stare at him, you took in the way he scrunched his eyes against the autumn sun, the way the breeze blew through his hair.

“Doyoung!” You blinked your eyes away from him and moved your eyes in the direction of the call. You saw your neighbour again, you quickly looked back at Doyoung as he froze, stopping in his steps. You watched as his hands tightened into fists at his side and his chest rose and fell with deep breaths. He ignored her and continued in your directions towards the car.

“Hey,” You said softly catching his attention. His head snapped to yours as he unlocked his car. He didn’t smile at you just nodded. “You going home?” he nodded again taking his bottom lip between his teeth in a manner that showed he wasn’t happy.

“Get in.” He said as he yanked open his door. You obliged, pulling open the passenger door. You threw a glance over your shoulder. She was still standing there; you couldn’t help but sneer as you ducked into his car.

He was silent as he pulled out the parking lot, his hands holding the steering wheel tightly causing his knuckles to turn white. You leaned forward and looked at the side of his face, you stared, because he wasn’t even turning on the radio.

“Uh, you're being weird.” He said as you tilted your head more and moved closer to his side.

“Am I?” You asked, he furrowed his eyebrows and pushed you back taking one hand off the wheel.

“Tell me about it.” You said settling back into your seat, “Just say what’s bothering you it’ll help and I swear I won’t judge you.”

He stayed silent and you sighed.

“It can’t be worse than not knowing how to make a girl cum.” You joked. He scoffed as he glanced over at you again his face fighting a smile.

“You know that’s not true.” He replied.

“So, tell me.” You insisted again, “I mean I do know that she cheated on you.” You added bluntly. His barely-there smile disappearing again pushing him back into his silence.

“She doesn’t deserve this much from you, you know that?” you said as he pulled into his driveway. “This much energy, and time.” He parked the car, but he didn’t move, both of you stayed in your seats not even unbuckling your seat belts.

“She didn’t apologize, not once.” He was looking down at his hands. “Everyone tells me that she doesn’t deserve my time. She once told me that I didn’t deserve this, but you get what you deserve right? People always say that, what the fuck did I ever do to deserve this?” You shook your head as he spoke. Unbuckling your seat belt, you reached for him. Letting your hands guide his head so that he was looking at you, his eyes were watery and red filled with angry unshed tears.

“The world does not give you what you deserve Doyoung, the world is unfair, and people are cruel. You did not deserve to be cheated on.” He stared at you, his hands shaking. He blinked his eyes forcing the moisture away before he moved, grabbing your chin and pulling your lips to his. You let him, getting caught up in the way his lips moved against yours, he stole your air. Greedily moving his hands to your hair and you let yours slip to his shirt, holding him close to you.

He pulled away; his breathing uneven as he looked at you again.

“Why are you here?” He asked, and you smiled at him.

“Because babe, contrary to my jokes you can make a girl cum.”

---

Doyoung enjoyed your company, he liked your weird bluntness, your lack of fear of the world but most of all he liked the sex. He liked that you looked at him like you wanted to eat him. He like that he didn’t feel lonely around you. He just liked you.

“So we're basically friends with benefits then huh?” You asked pulling him out of his thoughts. He looked over at you, taking in the fact that you were still naked on his bed even though you two had fucked over an hour ago.

“I mean because like if we are I just wanna know if we're the kind that don’t fuck other people or if we’re the kind that do.” He was perplexed by your rambling not expecting you to say this, and he wasn’t sure how to respond not that he got the chance because you continued.

“I mean I’m not the type to sleep with more than one person like that, not that there’s anything wrong with people who do, I just would like to know if you’re, like you know, sleeping with people other than me that’s all.”

He smiled at you as your cheeks turned a dark shade of red as you let words pour out of your mouth.

“I’m not sleeping with anyone else.” He said cutting you off. You bit your lip, trying to hide the painfully obvious smile that was stretching across your face. Doyoung’s own smile only grew as he got up from his desk chair and moved to his bed climbing on top of you. He pressed his lips against yours lightly.

“Want to go out somewhere today?” he asked looking down at you.

“Like where?”

---

“An indoor theme park?” You asked your eyes widening as you took in the rides and attractions. “You know in the month that I’ve known you Kim Doyoung, I did not take you for the theme park type.” He smiled at you as you continued to look around your hand reaching for his the more excited you got.

“Come we have to start with this.” You said and began to pull him in the direction of the roller coaster. “No, wait,” You paused and pulled him in the other direction, “That’s gotta be last.” Doyoung laughed behind you letting you pull him.

“Doyoung!” You exclaimed in amusement stopping in your tracks as you got excited again. “Look how big that bear is.” Your eyes moved to Doyoung’s face a huge smile taking over your facial expression. He looked down at you, his eyebrow cocked up as he looked down at you.

“What?” You asked, getting slightly self-conscious as he looked at you.

“I haven’t said a single word, yet you know that?” He teased leaning towards you. You rolled your eyes and pushed at his chest.

“Get me the bear, Kim.”

He didn’t get you the bear, turned out Doyoung sucked at these kinds of games because he tried five times and each time won nothing. You had to drag him away from the stall because if you didn’t, he would have stayed there the entire time. Hours passed as you went on ride after ride and played a couple more games where you did win a small bear, you’d passed it to Doyoung with a teasing remark that had him glaring at you.

Exhausted you settled into the bench as you waited for Doyoung to come back with something to eat. You smiled at him when he looked over at you as he stood in the line for mini donuts, he winked back at you. A warm feeling settled into your stomach, you didn’t have time to think about it though as your phone began to ring.

“Hello, brother.” You said happily.

“Mom and dad called,” he said getting straight to the point, “They instructed that we have to go back for a dinner.” Your heart rate picked up as you processed what your brother had just said to you. You were beginning to feel warm as anger bubbled up inside you.

“After they kicked us out?” You asked. Your anger coming out in your tone. Winwin didn’t respond. “Fuck them I’m not going.”

“We have to Y/N, you know we have to.” He said and you hung up on him. Fuck them all. Who did they think they were? Winwin called again and you ignored the call turning your phone off. You didn’t want to deal with this right now. First, they kick you and your brother out over a business deal and now, now they were threatening money. You knew that you and your brother didn’t have incomes you knew that at the end of the day you still needed them. But you hated it.

You tucked your phone away, looking up at Doyoung as he walked over to you and sat down, you took a mini donut shoving it into your mouth, your mouth burning with how hot it was. You swore as you opened your mouth and took in air to cool it down. Doyoung laughed at you, and just like that the anger from earlier dissipated and the warm feeling you had from before came back. You watched Doyoung as you chewed and he laughed at you, you couldn’t get enough of his laugh. He laughed around you a lot, and to be honest, you lived for it.

“You’re so dumb.” He said still calming down from his laughing fit. His hand reached out rubbing at the corner of your mouth, wiping away sugar, and you swore your stomach felt like you were on the rollercoaster all over again.

---

His hands were everywhere, grabbing at everything. Loud breaths filled your ears as he panted around you, your heart was beating a mile a minute in the worst kind of way. You opened your mouth to scream but you couldn’t as he pushed his tongue down your mouth. You couldn’t push him away he was everywhere.

You woke up with a startle, your body drenched in a cold sweat. You shivered as your mind went into overdrive, your pulse drumming loudly as you turned over in your bed. You took in large breaths to try and calm yourself, to distract yourself from the memory. But every time you closed your eyes that night would come back.

“No.” You said as Dae swarmed you, backing you into a corner. He was drunk insanely drunk, you pushed at his chest as his hands began to wander up to your thigh.

He shushed you, his mouth coming down to yours. You shoved at him again turning your head to the side.

“Why are you being this difficult?” he asked, his hand shooting out and grabbing your wrists. Your mind went blank as his mouth pushed back against yours his tongue pushing into your mouth. His knee came up between your legs. You screamed, and before you knew it, he was ripped off you. Your brother over him, fists were flying everywhere but you couldn’t hear anything over your own hysteria. Your hands were shaking as you pushed out the room and out the house, gasping for air as you tried to calm your breathing.

More hands were around you, pulling you towards them but you pushed them away.

“Hey, hey.” It was Winwin, “I’m here. Let’s go home.” He said. You looked at him, your vision blurry. His lip was cut and from the way, his cheekbone was swelling you knew it would bruise tomorrow.

You cried harder.

You opened your eyes again, reaching for your phone. You thought that was gonna be the worst day of your life, but the next day was worse.

Hitting the call button, you held the phone up to your ear.

“Hello?” His voice was groggy, you realized that you’d woken him.

“Doyoung.” You said quietly, “Can you come get me?”

---

You weren’t shocked when he came, but that shocked you. The fact that you weren’t shocked. You could tell he was tired when he pulled up to your building.

“Sorry,” You said as you got into the car. He shook his head slightly shivering as he looked over at you.

“Are you okay?” You looked at your hands. You knew you could tell him, you knew you trusted him. You also knew that if you said you didn’t want to talk about it he’d just take you to his house and you’d sleep, but you needed to talk about it. You wanted to tell him.

“My parents called my brother today.” You started, “They want us to go see them for dinner.” You looked over at Doyoung taking in his reaction, he looked confused, but he didn’t say anything he just listened and waited for you to continue.

“My parents are complicated,” You continued, “they, well they kicked Winwin and I out at the end of the last school year…”

Your father was furious the next morning, you’d never seen him this mad. Your hands were trembling in your lap as you listened to him yell at your brother. Your anger rising.

“My deal fell through because you can’t keep your anger in check!” Your brother stayed silent as well, “Do you understand how much money we just lost, we’re all over the news our family name is ruined. They’re calling you a thug, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“He was coming on to me.” You finally said having enough, “H-he was trying to do things when I was saying no!” You yelled getting up. Your father turned his glare towards you. His eyes didn’t soften the way you expected them to.

“He’s your boyfriend, isn’t he?” He asked his voice cold. Shock ran through your body at your fathers’ words. A business deal really meant more to him? You looked up at your mother who looked away from you. You blinked back tears as the rage in you rose again, you looked over at your brother who looked equally as shocked. His anger on his face.

“You two need to get out of my house. I have to show the world that I don’t support your stupid behaviour and there will be consequences. You both are going to a different school and I will send you a fixed fund and pay for your tuition, but you will not stay at my house. I do not want to see your faces.”

Doyoung listened intently as you told him everything, your hands fisting into your sweats as your anger rose inside you as you spoke. You couldn’t look at him though, you looked out the window.

“And now you have to go see him because if you don’t, he threatens to not pay for anything?” Doyoung asked. You nodded still not looking at him. His hand reached out and grabbed your arm, but you flinched. His hand instantly shot away from you.

“Baby, look at me.” He said keeping his hands to himself. You slowly turned your head to him; his face was angry. “That motherfucker that did that to you can rot in hell and your dad’s a greedy bastard. I’d say fuck it and don’t go but I understand why you have to.” He hesitantly reached for you again, this time you leaned into his reach taking his hand and pulling him towards you. “I – I can go with you if that would make you feel better.” He said.

You’d done a lot of things to help you get over the incident, one of those things was trying to find a guy at the bar and fuck him, to prove to yourself that you had control over your own body that what happened with Dae, and your dad did not need to take over your whole life. That you did what you wanted, and you had control over what you wanted, you didn’t regret it either because somehow it got you to him. You pressed your lips to his kissing him slowly. You didn’t understand what you felt for him, but you knew that there was something because when you were around him you felt warm and safe, and free.

---

You didn’t take Doyoung with you, but he told you that he’d have his phone on the entire time and that you could call him whenever. Getting out of your brothers’ car you both looked up at the huge house that you both use to call home.

“I fucking hate him.” You mumbled to yourself and you both made your way up the few steps to the front door. Winwin pressed the doorbell and you both waited only a few seconds before your mother pulled the door open for you two.

“Hello,” She said a tight smile on her face. “Please behave today, your father has put a lot of effort into making sure this day would come to be.” You were confused, you looked over at Winwin who mirrored your reaction. Effort into getting the two of you here?

Your confusion vanished when you followed your mother into the sitting from and saw him. He sat there with a smirk, his body relaxed as he leaned back in a high back chair. His father sitting on a couch beside his mother. You looked around the room for your father, he was already looking at you with a fake smile on his face.

“Welcome home kids.”

---

You followed your father into his office, Winwin at your heels, he’d ushered the two of you to follow him as a deafening silence filled the sitting room for ten minutes as you all stared at each other. Your hands were sweating so much that you had to wipe them on your dress every few minutes. You were glad the dress was black.

Your mother had finally ended the silence by announcing that the dinner was ready. Your father had ushered you after him the moment everyone had gotten up.

As Winwin closed the door of the office you glared at your father.

“What is th-”

He cut you off, “You will apologize to them after dinner, both of you. They agreed that the deal could be back on if you apologize.” You both balked at him. He didn’t allow either of you to speak before ushering you out of the room again. Both of you were too shocked to move still processing what your father had just said to you. When neither of you moved, he did, swinging open the door and walking out. You stared at your brother as he glared at the spot his father was standing in.

“Fuck that.” He said and stormed after your father, you scrambled after him.

“I don’t know what you thought was going to happen at this dinner, but the last thing we’re going to do is apologize to that fucking rat,” Winwin said stopping at the head of the long table as your father turned around and glared at him. The room was silent everyone staring at Winwin with wide eyes, even you were shocked.

“And your inheritance? Your funds? Don’t forget your place kid. You will apologize.” Your father replied calmly. Your brother was fuming, taking a step forward until he was standing right in front of your father.

“Fuck you and fuck your money.”

Your father snorted.

“How do you think your gonna afford your life boy?”

“We’ll figure it out, we don’t need you.” You finally said taking your brother's hand and pulling him with you. You both left the large dining room, taking hurried steps towards the front door, both itching to be out the house. You pushed the front door open and walked out.

“Go to the car,” Winwin said unlocking his car for you, “I have to grab something.” You nodded not questioning him and made your way to the car.

You opened the door and got in, but someone caught the door as you pulled it. Dae leaned down into your space grabbing your face in his hand. His mouth a fraction away from yours, your nose was assaulted with the strong cologne he overused.

“You think that you won?” he asked, “You didn’t, now you’re a broke bitch with nothing to your name. You’re a nobody.” You shoved him off of you kicking his shin as you did. He swore and let go of you backing up. He chuckled. “I heard about your new toy. I heard you suck his dick like a real whore would. So, it’s just me huh? It’s only a little bit before he gets bored of you. You aren’t enough and you never will be.”

He slammed the door shut as Winwin bound out the house. You watched your brother as anger took over his features again as saw Dae

“See you on the ice motherfucker,” Dae said slamming into Winwin's shoulder as he passed him.

“What did he say to you?” Winwin asked as he got into the car. You shook your head and looked away from him.

“Let’s just go.”

---

Three days and Doyoung hadn’t heard from you he’d called and texted only to be ignored. His head was spinning, he was feeling crazy. You weren’t his girlfriend, but he was losing it. His head ached as he stared at your contact. He felt lonely again his mind drifting to every place it shouldn’t go, every insecurity he’d developed lapping at him as he sat at the kitchen table. What happened? Did he do something wrong? Was it a mistake to tell you that he’d go with you? You hadn’t taken him after all, you hadn’t called him after and when he had called you, you’d ignored him. That awful feeling of abandonment hit him hard, his heart hurt and he couldn’t explain why.

He got up stalking over to the cabinet and pulling out Jaehyun’s alcohol again. He didn’t need a shot glass he just opened the bottle and took a swing, the liquor burned as it made its way down his throat. He didn’t give himself time to think before he drank more.

He wasn’t going to go see you, one because he couldn’t do that to himself this time not again, he couldn’t beg like he had with his ex. He also realized that he didn’t have a single clue where your dorm was. That realization also hurt because he’d let you into his life every inch of it, and the moment he found out something dark about you, you shut him out. He closed his eyes as he took another swing, no rational thought entering his mind as he did so.

“Why do they ruin all my good places?” He muttered to himself as he grabbed his keys from the key holder, stumbling towards the door.

“Hey what the fuck, Doyoung are you drunk?” Ten’s voice caught his attention as he opened the front door, cold hair hitting him as he did.

“I mean I don’t know.” He replied, his words kind of slurring. Ten furrowed his eyes brows at him rushing to him as he did.

“Were you going to drive?” He asked.

“I mean maybe. I don’t know.” He replied.

Ten narrowed his eyes at him and took his keys. Doyoung rolled his eyes and glared down at the boy.

“Well fine then you gotta drive me, okay?” he said and grabbed Ten's arm pulling him out the house towards his car.

“Why are you drunk on a Wednesday Doyoung, I thought you stopped this.” Ten said, Doyoung could sense the judgement in his friends’ words. But he’d expected it. His vision blurred as he leaned back into his seat, his head spinning from the alcohol. He closed his eyes and laughed.

“Ten my man, it’s because I’m a fucking loser and everyone leaves me.” His head fell to the side as Ten started the car.

“Take me to the indoor theme park.” He said and then laughed, “because I’m a sucker for a bad time.”

A couple of minutes later Ten was parked in the parking lot, but the theme park was closed. Doyoung just nodded his head as Ten told him leaning his head into the window.

“Did you really like her?” Ten asked, his voice soft. Doyoung shrugged.

“Not that it matters now.” But he did, the answer was yes. He liked you around him, he liked your laugh, your smile, the ease you gave him. He liked that you spoke too much practically all the time and never really thought about what you were about to say. He liked how you made him feel, he liked that you didn’t make him want to drink. He liked you.

Ten frowned, staring at Doyoung.

“I’m not back to drinking like before,” Doyoung said quietly, he wasn’t able to look at Ten. “I just – I’m not back to drinking okay?”

“Okay.”

“Give me a couple of minutes and then we can go.” Ten nodded at Doyoung’s words and turned up the music.

---

Doyoung was pissed, it had been a week and honestly, he didn’t give a fuck anymore, or at least he liked to tell himself that. He kept his word and didn’t drink, but that just meant that he was always angry, especially angry whenever he looked at Winwin.

“We’re playing against your old school huh?” Doyoung heard Jaehyun ask Winwin. The other boy only nodded as he got into his gear. Doyoung ground his teeth and continued to get dressed. He wanted to be out on the ice bad, his blood was pumping, he needed to let the anger out one way or another.

Halfway through the game, Doyoung was drenched in sweat, but his anger was coming down as he let himself be taken away by the sport. Adrenaline pumped through him as the whistle blew starting the third period. The other team got possession and Doyoung focused on defence. He kept his mind blank as he played only thinking about the game, Jungwoo checked the player with the puck, the puck going astray. Doyoung took his opening and claimed the puck, skating as he looked around for an open teammate to pass to. Seeing Winwin open he sent the puck down the ice in the same second he was slammed into the plexiglass. His ribs ached from the hit he slipped onto the ice and looked up at the guy who’d hit him, for some reason he was hovering over him still.

“How are my sloppy seconds?” He asked, “The prude give you blue balls yet?” Doyoung’s head spun as he slowly got up, he was used to hits so his usual recovery time wasn’t this slow but, then again, he never was hit this hard. “But then again I heard that she sucks your dick like a prostitute.” But he wasn’t slow to understand what this fuck was saying. Taking his gloves off as he got up, Doyoung swung at the other man. His hands shoving him hard in the chest, before skating after him and grabbing his jersey. Doyoung didn’t think he just began to punch him, he was shoved back his helmet coming off as the other boy took his own helmet off.

“Fuck you.” Doyoung spat, as the boy charged him, he got one good hit in. Straight to Doyoung’s jaw, before the refs were on them. Winwin was in front of him in seconds grabbing him from the ref.

“Relax.” The younger boy said as the ref ejected both Doyoung and the other guy.

“Let me go.” He said and shook Winwin off of him as he skated off the ice and went straight to the change room.

---

He was under the spray of the shower when you walked into the locker room. The steam was filling the locker room, making the air hot as you quietly walked in his direction. He saw you before you spoke his eyes darkening as you leaned against the wall.

“Doyoung.” You said his name softly, earning a glare from him. You deserved it; you’d let Dae’s words get to you. But now looking at him, taking the way he winced under the hot water the darkening bruise on his ribcage, the cut on his lip. You frowned.

Dae was wrong. You looked at Doyoung, you knew whatever happened on the ice was because of you, and he’d done that even when you’d ignored him.

“I’m sorry,” you said and took a step towards him.

“For what? Ignoring me? Or fucking with my head?” You didn’t reply just walked towards him, slowly getting under the water and letting your hands trace over his ribcage, your fingers skimming over the growing bruise.

“For everything.” You said, letting your hand move up to his wet hair. The water soaked into your clothes as you pulled him into you, he let you. His arms looping around your waist. You looked up at him watching his face soften as he took you in.

“Why’d you ignore me?” he asked. His breath fanning across your face.

“Someone told me I wasn’t enough for you and I believed them.” Doyoung’s hands tightened, you closed your eyes and pressed your forehead against his. “I let my head get carried away with every insecurity I’ve ever had.”

“I’m glad you came to your senses.” He said, his hand moving your shirt up so that his fingers could trace your skin. He pressed his lips to yours kissing you slowly as he moved your wet shirt up your torso.

“Don’t ignore me next time.” He said moving his lips to your jaw, “Come talk to me instead.” You nodded and pulled out of his hold. Pushing him to the wall you ripped your shirt off over your head and quickly took off your pants.

“Promise.” You said, “but we don’t have that long until the game ends.” looking up at him through hooded eyes, you pressed yourself against him again, you kissed his jaw, before moving down to his collar bone, taking the skin onto your mouth you gently bit it before running your tongue over it as he hissed. You kissed down his chest to the side of his ribcage pressing hot kisses down his wet skin. Until you got to his erection, he was hard and ready for you. You squatted down taking him in your hand as you looked up at him, he looked at you through half-lidded eyes as you slowly moved your hand up and down his length before pressing a soft kiss to the head. He groaned before letting his head fall back as he tangled his hand into your wet hair.

“Babe,” He moaned as you took this tip into your mouth swirling your tongue around before moving him further into your mouth. Your hand working the rest of his cock as you continued to slowly move down on him.

You stopped when Doyoung removed his hand from your hair and grabbed your wrist, you looked up at him again. His chest was heaving, and he looked at you like he was ready to devour you.

“I love it when you give me head, but we really don’t have time for that.” He said moving himself out of your mouth. He pulled you up to him, his mouth joining yours again and his fingers trailed to your core.

“So wet.” He said dragging a finger through your fold. Pulling his hand away from you he turned you around before turning around himself, your front against the cold wall, you moaned at the contrast.

“Don’t take too long.” He said and lined himself up at your entrance. You moaned when he sank in his hands grabbing roughly at your ass before he started to thrust into you. You arched your back as you clenched around him, his cock twitching in you.

“You’re so tight.” He moaned, his hand grabbing at your shoulder as his thrusts became harsher. You heard the buzzer of the game, indicating that the game was over. Your moans grew louder as the idea of the entire hockey team rushing in hit you.

“Fuck,” Doyoung groaned his thrusts growing harsher, as you neared your climax. “You gotta cum now, pretty girl.” He said his arm winding around you so that his fingers could rub your clit. The added pressure pushed you along until your orgasm smashed into you. You moaned loudly as Doyoung continued to thrust into you, your muscles twitching around him pushing him to his climax.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” He panicked as he pulled out of you, using his hand to reach his orgasm. “We forgot a condom.” You turned around pushing his hand away and working him with your own until he came. You pushed your lips against him, both of you breathing erratically as you kissed.

“What am I going to wear to get out.” You asked him pulling away from him. You both looked at your wet clothes.

“I have an extra hoodie here, and I can look in Ten’s cubby he’s probably got sweats that will fit you.”

He didn’t finish his sentence as the boys crashed into the locker room. Your eyes widened mirroring Doyoung’s. He quickly yanked you pulling you towards the line of toilet stalls. He shoved you in as the boys barked at each other not noticing the two of you yet.

“Sorry stay here.” He said shoving his towel at your chest.

“Dude why are you walking around naked?” You heard Mark ask as you wrapped the towel around yourself.

“Because I can.” You hear Doyoung mumble back, his tone irritated.

---

“You guys take forever in the change room.” You complained as Doyoung walked with you to the dorms.

“My coach would have killed us.” He stated as he pulled you into him. “I’m sorry though that’s the only thing I could think of.”

“Whatever it’s okay.”

“So, I finally get to go up to your dorm huh?” He asked, and you nodded.

“I would have brought you sooner, but I have a roommate who never leaves our room. I love her but damn is she anti-social. Getting her to that start of the year party was hard.” You explained as the two of you climbed the stairs. Doyoung looked at your ass as you walked up in front of him. It was hard not to. He was glad to hear that the reason for not seeing your dorm was because of something simple and not what he’d actually made it into in his head. You rounded out the stairwell pushing the door open into the hall of your floor. Doyoung froze as he realized what floor you lived on. A floor he’d been to many, many times last semester.

“Doyoung?” He heard her voice before he saw, and dread set into him again. He snapped his head towards her direction as your hand slipped into his. His ex was staring at him, her eyes slightly wide as she took in his profile. The cut lip, the slightly swelling jaw. He frowned at her.

“What?” He asked his voice cold.

“Uh, what happened to you?” She asked.

“None of your business.” He replied. She nodded. He watched her as she swallowed and hesitated again. He tightened his hand around yours again.

“Uh yeah. D-do you think I could talk to you in private for a second?” she asked glancing over at you.

“Whatever you have to say you can say in front of Y/N.”

“Yeah, okay sure, you know I – I realized I never apologized to you.” She finally said. Doyoung was shocked, he was silent for a few seconds. He wasn’t sure if he heard that right. He was only snapped out of his daze when you tugged on his hand lightly taking his attention from his ex to you. You looked up at him with a soft expression on your face, you looked so wholly his. The way you were looking at him his heart clenched as he looked back at his ex. Somewhere along the way, he realized that he didn’t care about his ex anymore, he didn’t miss her or want her back. He was hurt sure but that was fading too. He knew he wanted to hear this and here it was, and it felt like he was being freed.

“I forgive you.” She nodded her eyes filling with water. Doyoung turned away from her taking you into his arms.

“Now show me where your room is baby.” He said smiling down at you. You smiled up at him and nodded pulling him with you towards your room.

“It’s nothing special.” You said as you pushed the room door open. He didn’t look around as he closed the door behind him. Just pushed you onto your bed, kissing you.

He wasn’t gonna let you get away from him.

Not that you were planning on going anywhere.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading this, I really hope you guy enjoyed it! Please let me know what you guys thought, any opinions or comments you have on the story are very much welcome I love to hear from you guys so please don’t hesitate to let me know what you think. Additionally if you have any constructive criticism don’t be afraid to let me know, I always want to get better so its welcome and appreciated.

The next part to this AU will be Winwin so please look forward to that! and once again thank your for reading I really hope you liked it!

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hahnspoetry · 3 years

Text

love is pain (agatha harkness x reader)

hiii, i’m back. no one asked for this but i felt inspired and my poor sleeping pattern helped encourage me to write this. i’m not used to writing angst so if you have any tips or suggestions on how to improve pls send them over!!

TWs: swearing, angst, deteriorating relationship, cheating allegations, character death, car accident, blood mentions (not too graphic but i don’t want to risk anything), unhappy ending (sorry folks). if i’ve missed anything please let me know.

love is pain - finneas - the song that inspired this fic (youtube link). ¦ masterlist

Falling in love was something you never saw on the cards. Love wasn’t something you thought you wanted… until you met Agatha Harkness. She was beautiful, inside and out. A wonderful woman who never failed to make you feel special, make you feel like you matter. The time you’d spent together was wonderful and you felt like this could be the one, that Agatha could be the one. That all changed when you both moved to Westview.

Say it’s not enough to be in love

You need to prove it somehow

Agatha had felt an insane surge of power in New Jersey. She believed it related to something she had been researching long before you met her (probably long before you were born too). Her kind words and reassuring tone convinced you to come with her, under the guise that she would be able to look after you better if you were with her in Westview, she could protect you better. The one thing she couldn’t protect however, was your heart.

It’s not dollar signs and pick-up lines

Or anything you could kiss away now

The first few days were nice. You enjoyed the domesticity of it; the calm, suburban life appealing to you more each day. You’d always imagined moving away from the city. Something you pictured doing with Agatha. You felt that dream slowly slipping away as she spent less time with you, she’d have one cup of coffee with you in the morning then dart off to Wanda’s. She’d never be home in time for dinner or to say goodnight, rather opting to climb into bed once you’d fallen asleep (or at least seemed asleep to Agatha, not that she double checked). She barely made conversation with you. You felt like she was drifting away from you. You began to realise something was wrong when Agatha dragged you out of a party at the Vision household, her grip tight on your wrist as she marched you both back to your ‘house’. She was angry, angrier than you’d ever seen her; and what was rarer was that she was angry at you.

That sinking feeling that you get

When you say something you’ll regret

“I don’t want you near her. She’s dangerous and I don’t want her finding out about us if you let something slip. It could ruin the plan, ruin years of hard work.”

You shot her an incredulous look, surely it would be more suspicious if you didn’t talk to Wanda. If you ignored her existence entirely, she’d know something was up. The way she spoke didn’t sit right with you either, it almost felt accusatory. You’re the one that would be screwing it up.

“You’re more worried about me blowing your cover than anything else? She’s ‘dangerous’ and your main concern is your plan? Real charming Agatha.”

You didn’t intend to make it sound so harsh, but that’s what it felt like to you.

“Honey, I don’t think you understand what’s at stake here. I’ve put a lot of time and energy into this plan and I-”

You’d had enough of her condescending tone. You already knew what she was going to say.

“I know how important your plan is! That’s all you care about right now, your stupid fucking plan! You barely talk to me anymore, you spend all your time with Wanda now I’m barely a second thought to you.”

Agatha’s face softened. She hadn’t realised what she’d done to hurt you.

“I’m sorry, angel. I-I didn’t-”

You felt guilty, she was only trying to protect you from Wanda. Was she though? Or was she trying to protect herself?

“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to snap, I know you’re just trying to protect me and I’m sorry. Let’s just go to bed, shall we?” Agatha nodded as she wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you in for a tight hug. She pressed soft kisses to your temple before walking you both to your shared bedroom. As you climbed into bed that night, you feared the worst. Your brain overthinking every aspect of your relationship, second guessing whether Agatha really loved you, whether you meant as much to her as you believed you did. That was one of the last nights you believed to have shared your bed with Agatha, but you would never get to know the truth.

‘Cause you were jealous of some stranger

That she met when you were gone

The days that followed were empty for you, even though you went out and helped organise and run the talent show, spoke to neighbours and went grocery shopping, you felt uneasy. You felt alone. The pit of anxiety that lied in your stomach grew with each passing day. Agatha tried to make an effort with you but it felt fake. It felt forced, like she’d rather be anywhere else than sitting with you, eating the breakfast you’d prepared for her and put time and consideration into. It felt like another nail in the coffin.

And you feel insane cause love is pain

Agatha didn’t come home for dinner, she was barely there the next morning, hearing her leave the second you came downstairs. It felt like you were no longer lovers, no longer were you inseparable. You were almost strangers to each other.

Say it’s not okay to feel that way

The more you thought about it, the more you understood why Agatha would want Wanda more than you. Wanda was a witch, a powerful one from what Agatha had alluded to when she decided to acknowledge your existence. Agatha could teach her, watch her grow into an incredibly powerful witch. They’d be unstoppable together, they could take down anyone, anything in their path. You only held Agatha back, stuck in this relationship with a mortal who didn’t even fully understand magic. You’d asked Agatha to teach you, help you understand more but she’d always reply with some condescending remark about how your little brain wouldn’t be able to understand or comprehend it. You’d understood and almost accepted that she’d moved on, although a tiny part of your heart clung onto the relationship. Clung to the idea it wasn’t over.

It’s real, you may not make her happy

So what’s wrong with me? If honestly

I wanna be the only way she can be

Over the next few days you didn’t see Agatha at all. In fact, you didn’t even leave the house, deciding to stay in bed, only getting up for the bare necessities like using the bathroom and eating one meal a day. You couldn’t bear the thought of trying to function anymore. Every now and then, you’d stand by the window in your bedroom that overlooked the street. You’d occasionally see Agatha walking along with Wanda, arms linked together, smiling happily. Agatha looked happy. Happier with Wanda than she ever looked with you, come to think of it. The thought brought tears to your eyes. Had your relationship been a lie this whole time?

That hollow feeling in your chest

As you both wordlessly undress

Agatha returned home that night, not realising you were awake. When she finally crawled under the sheets and cuddled up close to you, you immediately knew where she’d been all day. The second Wanda’s familiar sweet floral perfume hit your nostrils you knew. You couldn’t help but cry, your sobs harder to stifle as Agatha’s arms wrapped around your waist, pulling your back up against her chest. The soft kiss she pressed to the top of your head was the last straw as the floodgates opened fully. And as Agatha turned you around so your head rested against her chest and whispered sweet reassurances in your ear, you realised it was over. This supposed love was only causing you pain now, there was nothing good left here.

After a fight, it’s getting late

You tried your best but then she cried

And you're to blame, and love is pain

The house was cold the next morning, the other side of the bed empty. You felt like Agatha hadn’t even come home last night, it was some weird hallucination you’d had to make yourself feel better or convince yourself this wasn’t as bad as it seemed. You got out of bed and walked downstairs, the bitter chill of the house seeping through to your bones. The kitchen was bare, dull and lifeless. It didn’t feel like home anymore, not with Agatha. There was nothing left for you here in Westview.

Don’t believe anyone

Who tells you any different

If it’s fun, if it’s easy

Something’s missing

That was the moment you realised your love had been wasted on someone who didn’t want to reciprocate it. You’d wasted so much of your time and energy on this relationship that turned out to be false. Agatha didn’t care, she’d found someone better and moved on, neglecting to tell you what she’d done, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. You rushed back upstairs as you remembered nothing was keeping you tied down to Westview. You could go home, your real home. You began packing, leaving anything Agatha had bought you or given to you over the time you’d been dating behind. You didn’t want any reminders of this train wreck of a relationship. You packed what little belongings you had before changing out of your pyjamas, dressing to remain inconspicuous, you didn’t know what time period you were in now, nor did you care. You just wanted out of this godforsaken town.

Agatha returned home whilst you were packing, sensing the dread and pain you were feeling a few blocks away from the house. If she could sense it, Wanda definitely could. Guilt weighed heavily in her chest, knowing she’d caused this. She’d made you feel this way.

You didn’t even acknowledge the front door slamming shut, or the voice calling out your name. You just wanted to be out of here, away from her.

“What are you doing?” she asked you from her place in the doorway, her voice a mixture of emotions, all of which hit Agatha at the same time.

“I’m leaving, for good. Isn’t that what you want?” This time it was her turn to give you an incredulous look.

“Baby, why would I want you gone? What makes you think that?” She tried to approach you, hands reaching up to cup your cheeks but you looked away, refusing her touch. That hurt her more than she thought it would.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? You’ve found someone better, someone who actually makes you happy. It just took me a little while to get the message. I’ll be gone before sunset. You’ll never have to see me again.”

Your voice betrayed you as the anger slipped away in replacement of a desperate tone, your eyes once again filling with tears.

“You make me happy, baby. There’s no one else-”

“Stop lying to me!! I know the truth, Agatha. I know about you and Wanda. And I-I get it. I really do. She’s more like you, she’s a witch. You can teach her about witchcraft and show her her true self. You can’t do that with me.”

Your eyes refused to focus on her, rather drifting around the room to anything other than her.

“I-I don’t- What?” Agatha’s confusion wasn’t going to fool you.

“You’re barely home, you don’t spend any time with me. You don’t even acknowledge my existence when I’m with you. When you-” You had to stop for a moment as your eyes filled up with tears once again.

“-When you came home, the other night. You smelt like her, her perfume was all over you and I- That’s when- I just- I can’t keep doing this Agatha. I can’t keep pretending like nothing’s wrong. You can be happy with Wanda and I can go back home and heal. Just… Promise me you’ll look after her? You’ll keep her safe. She’s been through enough.”

Agatha sighed as she paced the room, not understanding what you were saying. She didn’t know how to fix this. For once, this was something she couldn’t use her magic to fix, she’d screwed up and there was no going back.

“Is there anything I can do to convince you to stay?” Agatha pleaded. This was rare, Agatha never begged or pleaded or bargained with anyone. You shook your head in response, there was nothing left to fix.

“I mean it. I’ll do anything, honey. I don’t want to lose you. You’re too precious for me to lose.”

Agatha had approached you, pressing your foreheads together in a gesture of love, asking for forgiveness for her mistakes.

“You’ve already lost me. You lost me the second we got here.” You admitted to her, barely above a whisper.

Agatha’s heart broke at that moment.

“No, no, no. Please, baby. Please.” She pleaded once again, her hand cupping the back of your neck to hold you there for as long as possible as she resisted the urge to kiss you, wanting to try and convince you to stay. She wanted to fix this.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this,” You removed her hand and took a step back from her, avoiding looking at her as you grabbed your bag and walked out of the bedroom. You forced yourself to ignore the desperate cries and sobs that came from the bedroom, walking out the front door and out into the street.

We go through life, we play pretend

Act like it doesn’t have to end

The town was quiet, scarily quiet for a late afternoon. You kept walking despite that, hoping you would find some way of leaving. Agatha hadn’t told you about the barrier, how leaving was almost impossible. She had to force herself to get up, she couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt further because of her actions. If only she’d acted sooner, if only she’d told you before you left.

It’s all alright until your friend runs a red light

You watch his car burst into flames.

You were so caught up in furiously drying your tears that you stepped out into the road, missing the car speeding down the road. The scream you let out could be heard across the entire town.

Agatha ran. She knew that was your scream, she’d heard it in enough of her nightmares to know. When she found you, she knew she couldn’t fix it. She couldn’t fix the mess she’d made. The sobs that tore themselves from Agatha’s throat were painful. She collapsed to her knees next to your body, holding you close, cradling you in her arms. You coughed, blood trailing out the corner of your mouth as you glanced up at Agatha. You were grateful she was here, ignoring the pain as you focused on her. You still loved her deep down, even if she didn’t love you anymore, you would. Always.

“I’m sorry, my darling. I’m so so sorry. This is all my fault, this is my fault. And I-I-I can’t- I can’t fix it.” Her lips touched your forehead, pressing soft kisses onto your skin in between sentences.

You struggled to keep your eyes open, but Agatha tried her hardest to keep you with her, keep you awake for as long as possible.

“Stay with me baby, please. Stay with me. We can get you help. I’ll get you the help you need. Don’t-”

You took her hand into your own, squeezing it with all the energy you could muster.

“I love you, Agatha.”

You took your last breath and Agatha felt like she’d lost a part of herself. She sobbed into your chest, holding your limp body, praying for some kind of miracle but no one would listen. She had made her bed, she now had to lie in it. Agatha laid your body down on a grassy patch of land before deciding where you would be laid to rest. Agatha tried to ignore the red headed witch that stood far too close to her in that moment.

“Agnes? Agnes, what’s going on?”

Wanda approached quickly, the state the older woman was in making her panic. Your lifeless body making her worry skyrocket further. Agatha wiped her eyes before she pulled your body into her arms, turning to face Wanda.

“This is your fault. If you hadn’t created this, she would-” She had to hold back a sob, looking back down at you. You had so much life left to live, and now you wouldn’t get to live out your dreams. But Agatha would make them come true for you.

“This has to end Wanda, all of it.”

Agatha pushed past Wanda and headed back to their house -now her house. There was a new weight sitting heavy on her chest. One that would constantly remind her:

Love is pain.

#agatha harkness x reader #agatha harkness imagine #agatha harkness #kathryn hahn #wandavision

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