#ignore his expression he isnt THAT sour

[koeal]

Future ruler of Tiearries

[hottakendragon]

ok so,, im back!!

THIS ONE ISNT A SMUT REQUEST (but if you want to make it smut go for it !! its your blog), but I’m thinking of maybe like a really sensitive and shy reader and just like normal miles😭but he’s very strict in this. let’s say little reader makes a mistake and miles is having a bad day, so he yells at her and is like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? STOP” and she gets really scared and upset because this huge 9’5 man just screamed at her for something so small and she’s just thinking he could crush her like a bug, and how intimidating her boyfriend truly is so the poor thing just cries on the spot :((

would prefer human reader but anything is fine !!

in the morning i’ll be better

Recom!miles quaritch x human fem!reader

warnings: mean quaritch, cry baby reader, emotions!

Miles quaritch is rude, egocentric, and ignorant. It's who he is, and who he has to be as a commander. He's sarcastic and privy to his emotions, though his temperament can really get the best of him.

but Q loves his shy little girlfriend. she’d been so quiet and small when they first met, in her own bubble until quaritch decided he needed to pop it. He loves the challenge of working her out of her shell and is rewarded with her sweet smile and laughter.

Miles finds that she’s actually an open book. He can’t help but fixate on her delicate features when there’s only so much space between them! Miles always finds the smallest twitches in her expression, revealing exactly what she’s feeling. she feels so deeply. miles loves how expressive she is, silently rejoices in the fact that he gets to have her like this as very few have the opportunity

-loves when he can tell her a mundane snippet of his day and she’s glows in delight for him, as if compensating for his lack of enthusiasm

-Q will sneak glances at her when they watch movies, hearing her sniffles and he just pulls her in his lap. his heart squeezes when she wraps an arm around his middle and lets herself cry openly, allowing herself to be vulnerable in his arms.

-but it seems quaritch woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. What had started as simple as early morning grogginess turns sour and quaritch becomes an irascible, mean man. not even her bright spirit can bring him out of it.

“what are you doin’ in here?” his voice carries as he enters his office and she’s already there.

she perks up at his presence and smiles.

“hey, i had a bit of time and wanted to stop by,” she says, swinging her legs as she’s perched on his abnormally large desk- on top of his paperwork.

“dammit!” quaritch flares, stomping across the room. “get off my desk.”

she startles at his low, thundering voice and scrambles to jump off of the polished wood. She’s slightly alarmed and confused, but this is not the first time Q has been in a bad mood. She chances a glance at him from her small stature, an uneasiness growing in her belly. Quaritch is tense, shoulders bunched and fists clenching. He's so large compared to her, it’s impossible to not be intimidated. she begins to nervously fidget with her manicure. 

“I- i didn’t mean to intrude, i missed you before you left this morning and i wanted to see you,” she mumbles

Quaritch doesn’t acknowledge her as he takes the opposite side of the desk and assesses the clutter of paperwork. He rests his palms flatly on the desk, hangs his head and sighs deeply.

Quaritch raises to meet her eyes. “don’t I see enough of you at home?”

she’s stunned for a moment, unblinking as she processes his razor sharp words and finds his eyes burning with aggravation.

he raises his voice now, “go on. i got work to do and i don’t need you fuckin’ it up more than you already have.”

she’s still stuck in place, watching him. Quaritch begins to flare at her stall to action, rounds the desk again and takes strides to quickly approach her and thunders, “GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.” 

it comes out quicker than he can catch it, and quaritch catches the fright that flashes through her and she takes a skittish step backwards. This immediately halts his steps, and quaritch is forced to watch as her sweet little face crumbles under his gaze. it happens in slow motion- her face becomes warm with humiliation, and that usual light in her eyes clouds over with a fresh spring of tears. her chin wobbles and she breaks their mutual gaze and dammit, now quaritch has really fucked it. 

she’s wrapping her arms around herself and turning her back on him towards the door and no no NO that’s not what he wants at all. He catches her wrist just as the door clicks.

and it’s a knife gouging inside his chest when she turns towards him, a veil of sorrow obscuring her usually radiant features. her cheeks are already blotchy from holding her breath, holding back her tears. Q feels awful, god he’s such a stupid prick.

“honey, i didn’t mean it”

and poor thing, she just bursts into tears. She tries to catch her sobs before they leave her chest, but she’s hurt, and even a bit frightened. It's heart wrenching, quaritch’s own expression falls and he’s immediately kneeling to her height. He holds her wrist gently, so fragile and small within his palm. He wants so badly to pull her closer. 

“baby, i'm sorry. so, so fuckn sorry,” miles says

“Do I bother you that much?” she cries loudly, looking up at him with tears clumping her lashes and tracking over her cheeks. Quaritch hates himself for ever putting that thought into her mind. He shuffles on his knees to be closer to her, reaching to take her other hand in his.

“no, no darlin’. you could never bother me. Don't know why I would even say somethin’ so goddamn stupid and incorrect. talkin’ out of my ass again.”

she doesn’t answer, her chest raking with every sob she lets out. miles begins to wilt, his heart in his stomach. he can’t stand being so far away from her. he takes a chance; sitting on his haunches and parting his legs so he can tug on her wrist until she’s crashing into his chest. he tries not to let his heart sink when she doesn’t reciprocate his touch right away. 

“didn’t mean it, doll. I'm sorry,” Miles says lowly, his chin resting on her head.

“you can be mean-you can be *so mean sometimes, miles.” she says wetly against his chest. she clutches the fabric of his shirt.

“I know, I know, i don’t mean to get that way,” he concedes, beginning to rub her back. He feels her take deep, steadying breaths.

“But you do, miles. more often than you think. Sometimes I feel like I'm tiptoeing through a landmine. I never know when you’ll blow up on me.” she sniffles.

-quaritch nods, truly considering her words. He knows he can be a dick, but he never wants to be that way with her. his heart clenches as he recalls the fear that flashed over her just minutes ago- and how he was the reason for it. Quaritch wants to kick his own ass.

The pair are quiet as she calms down, her tears subsiding. Eventually she wraps her arms around his shoulders, properly hugging him now. Miles is flooded with relief and pulls her closer. She smells sweet, like her conditioner and the fabric softener she uses. she smells like home, and god isn’t quaritch the biggest fucking idiot to even think of speaking to her that way. 

“stay here with me,” he breathes, nuzzling into her hair. she pulls away to meet his eyes warily, her own still rimmed red. Quaritch shakes his head as if to erase any doubt in her mind.

“Wouldn't want you anywhere else, sugar.” he tells her firmly, taking her hands. she sniffles and pouts, her eyes falling to their entangled digits. her thumb runs softly over his knuckles and miles heavy heart beats so fast. 

she takes a deep breath, finally meeting his eyes and nodding her head. Miles sighs in relief and hugs her close.

“Thank you, love you,” quaritch sighs. His anxiety eases when she locks her arms around him again. He wraps around her torso, petting her soft hair. They stay like that for a while, but quaritch really does have work to do. Wordlessly, quaritch moves to grasp under her thigh, pressing her close. Her legs instinctively wrap around his slim waist and quaritch easily maneuvers to stand with her in his arms. He walks them towards his desk and sits, holding her against his chest and begins to sort the scatter of documents. She lifts her head, eyeing the mess. 

“M’sorry i messed up your desk,” she mumbles.

“S’alright, wasn’t really organized to begin with,” he chuckles, then somewhat awkwardly clears his throat. “I'm really sorry, darlin’, you have every right to kick me in my hind end and tell me off. I don't ever wanna make you cry,” he says softly.

What quaritch doesnt know is that he’s an open book with her, too. Miles’ eyes are swirling pools of raw emotion, constantly changing and turning with the tide. She finds a genuine sorrow, a true apology darkening the chartreuse of his irises. She rises to kiss him softly in reassurance. 

And she feels the way the tension bleeds out of him, feels his slow sigh breathing from his nose. Quaritch lifts his fingers to cradle her jaw, brushing the soft skin. When they pull away, that cloudiness is gone and Mile's eyes are bright again.

She smiles at him. “Can I help?” she asks, already turning in his lap to face the desk. 

“Y’know, I’d appreciate it, actually,” quaritch says. His hands drop to her hips and he pulls her into him, her back pressing against his chest. He scoots further into the desk and drops a kiss on her shoulder and says, “I don't deserve you- too good t’me, too sweet,” in his low, american accent. She loosely throws her hand back to punch his chest. “I know,” she says, a light tease in her voice. Quaritch chuckles and holds her tighter, bowing to press another lingering kiss into her shoulder. And so they organize the clutter together, exchanging papers and reading off the information to one another. They’re a well oiled machine until every stack is bound and clipped neatly. She even writes sticky notes in her loopy handwriting to describe what the documents are about. When the job is done, quaritch is turning her around and kissing her like he’s been dying to ever since he stepped into the office.

notes: lol hello! thank you for sending this request! i was v excited to dig my teeth into this. i apologize for the delayed roll out, life punched me in the throat and took me out over the past couple of weeks but it was a nice reprieve getting to work on this. thank you envy for the request! please enjoy and leave some love! <3

[lonniemachin]

Hi! So first, I love love love your tags on the Anarky panels I posted because you're absolutely right, the direction of the 99 comic was... A Choice tm. But second of all, I wanted to ask, because I was curious as to your thoughts on the initiatory violence thing: do you think Lonnie might consider the oppression/oppressive systems that he fights to be first blow, and so in punishing them, he is instead reacting? I just thought that could be a character motivation that might explain that line! No worries if you disagree; I'm just curious to hear what you think! Full respect to you and your blog, and I'm so glad someone else out there loves Lonnie! :D

first of all, i really, really appreciate it! anarky fans are very few and far between, and i get really excited when i find people talking and posting about him. he’s one of my top favorite DC characters and i only have one or two friends who share that sentiment, so i feel much the same way :)

you know, as someone who’s read a lot of anarky comics (including ones i really, really hate) and has put a sizable amount of thought towards him and his characterization, that never really crossed my mind when i considered why that line was put in despite past instances of lonnie initiating violence towards others (i mentioned johnny vomit, but there’s also him poisoning Bates, him shocking Pantalone in Robin 1993 Annual, him electrocuting a man to near-death in Green Arrow, etc. i ignore everything penned by tim seeley, because red hood vs anarky and robins was a messy mistake of a character assassination TO ME) it’s a really interesting thought and im glad you brought it up! that particular motivation seems like it could track for him really well and is something that can be found in actual anarchist schools of thought, so i definitely don’t disagree! most of those people were participating in the systems he targets, though i do think he does tend to get too into what he does sometimes and isnt always the best at being an anarchist. side effect of being an angry bleeding heart kid, but his heart IS in the right place.

i’ll be honest with you though - after my first couple reads of the 1999 solo and the 1997/8 miniseries, i tend to skim when i reread. it left a sour taste in my mouth because it’s when alan grant went full Randian Neo-Tech and decided to pivot lonnie in that direction, and the ways in which the character changes from a smart and cocky yet theatrical and emotion-driven little punk with ancom-adjacent views into an “I Read Atlas Shrugged Once” Rational faux-Intellectual make me a bit sad, so i think i have the habit of sweeping everything that i havent picked out for my analysis of the character aside (i’m especially interested in just how damn lonely and self-isolated he is… PLEASE get some friends!). i do acknowledge this is probably a result of him growing up, but i wish his views would’ve strengthened instead of getting… weird. what I do find noteworthy about this is that some of my favorite parts of him aren’t completely changed. he’s still very expressive and emotive and full of compassion for people, has a dry wit, and his moral compass remains pretty intact. he’s still a bit of a weirdo teenager. with everything that grant DID try to do with him however, i always chalked up inconsistencies to his constant upping of the ante (in part to editorial mandates, so the bizarre stuff isn’t entirely his fault. to a point he was doing his best with what was given him, but.) and the fact that grant himself stated that lonnies “evolving philosophy” was reflective of his own. lmao

sorry if this makes no sense and devolved into a rant or something, im out right now and got really eager when i saw this so i was like i have GOT to say something ASAP. here, have a him as thanks for reading ⬇️

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

oooh may i request eren with a female s/o who doesn't put up with his bullshit? Like when he gets jealous n stuff

So I turned this into a break up fic because why not!? I live to hurt my own self while writing. I was listening to Noir By Sunmi while writing this hence the title.

Pairing: Eren/ Reader

Tags: angst, breaking up, seriously angst, modern au

Warnings: mentions of jealousy, angst, seriously. Just angst.

Noir

There is a despicable attire masking the way you're looking at Eren. The feeling that's boiling in the depths of your chest as you're sitting across from him on your kitchen table is indescribable. It's mixture of anger and determination, merged with heavy specs of remorse, whether it is for yourself or him, you haven't decided yet.

Your reflection in the glass of the kitchen table is mocking you. In it you can see a few of the cupboards behind you, you can see your inox fridge that's decorated in numerous small polaroids and you can see your hair, being messy and tousled, just like it always is when you're staying indoors. But you- no, your face. Your face looks deformed and blank, lost in the aggravating aspects of an angered expression.

Setting your eyes to any where but Eren isnt a simple task. Rather, you find no interest in looking at the borders between the marble tiles of the floor. They were plain and annoying to look at, but if you could you'd pretend they could calm you down. Keeping your huff in though, you alternate your gaze onto the top of the counter, onto the tap of the sink. You squint, pretending to take a good notice of the forms that light reflects into the object.

"I just don't want other guys being too touchy with you." Eren groans.

"Aren't we over this?" You roll your eyes.

"Yes, just pointing out that you wouldn't like that either."

There he goes again and you can't help but immediately snap your orbs to his direction. You have lost count of how many times he has mentioned it in only the span of five hours. He mentioned in while taking a shower, he mentioned it while working out, be mentioned it while cooking yet you've chosen to ignore him. Yet you know that ignorance doesn't benefit anyone, ever.

And you shouldn't act as if you're surprised, especially since you haven't addressed this. This is Eren. This has always been Eren. Expressing your concerns to Eren about how you feel he should trust you more has never worked, why should it work now?

"Eren, I can trust you that you won't let anyone do that!? Don't you trust me?"

"Yes, but."

"But?"

"I don't trust what others want to do to you. And what if you give in? Did you just wake up one day and decided to just devote ourself to me specifially?"

Eren is bitterly jealous. There's this spite that's hiding the aqua lines of his eyes, this sour mood that he always carries around when he gets in it. This stops him from being able to eat even slightly to normal; his hands are nervous and sweaty, his fork is abandoned to the side of his plate, his thumbs tapping onto the flat sides of his plate as if he's waiting for a response. There's not even the hint of a crump going down his throat, more so there's not a single bite taken off of his sandwich.

"Eren no one was touchy with me. Jean, Reiner, Armin, Marco... these are literally our friends since school!" You speak, munching onto your own food.

"I know."

"Then? Want to talk about it?"

You hate the way you make it sound like it's okay to casually be tender to him when he's judging you but you've been munching onto that bite of your cold noodles for a long time now. Your throat is refusing to take down bites anymore in result of you having stuffed your mouth to the full. It's an effort to shush yourself, to silence that voice that begs to come out and speak words you might regret.

"It's just." Eren pauses.

And you wait for his words to come out. By tapping your own hand onto the the glass of the table, you fixate your gaze onto Eren's uncomfortable form. You watch as his face gets buried to the palms of his hands, you watch as he refuses to face you while he clicks his tongue. His foot is rapidly tapping onto the floor, his hair is being pulled back by his fingers. The loud exhales he takes are indicators to the heavy weight that's sitting on his chest.

"It's so hard for me because I imagine you being with others, I don't want anyone to get their hands on something that's mine. And it's driving me crazy (y/n)."

Out of spite you push your eyes to the side. Facing Eren isn't something you feel like you're free to do at the moment. It's horrendous that you have to answer to that. Your heart is alternating between hammering inside your chest and dropping to your stomach. Your mind is confused as to what you should begin to think, or say. This is Eren, you keep repeating to your self, your spongy brain though is refusing to believe it.

It makes you wonder; Is this a time to be kind or is the last straw?

"Eren this is destroying you isn't it?"

Eren nods and then hides inside the neck of his hoodie, he pulls his sleeves over his palms and brings his elbows to the top of the table, setting them down as he leaned his face into his now clenched fists. You take it upon you to swallow that amount of food that's in your mouth up until now and when you do it goes down your throat dryly, painfully even. Your eyes are somewhat stinging, tiny little droplets are already starting to form in their corners.

"I don't want to feel like this anymore."

"It's destroying me too. Your jealousy."

Your chest rises and falls, your eye brows furrowing paid fully over your eyes as you look down. You can feel the gaze that's fixated on you; Eren is burning holes through your form with his piercing gaze, even if you can't see it it's a fact that you can't help but ignore. You heart the clenching of your teeth as your jaw locks onto place, trying to salvage every aspect of what can be saved between you and Eren.

"Then what did you suggest we do?" Eren quarries with a soft voice, his arm reaching out to wiggle underneath the grip you have of your face and hair.

"I-"

Maybe you can try. Couples try and fight for each other. And then things are supposed to get better. When you're down he's supposed to help you reach the top and you're supposed to do that too. It just doesn't feel like that with Eren anymore. You feel like Eren is holding you back, you feel like he's digging and delving into the past in such way that present doesn't matter to him anymore. You hate to think that it's not healthy to stay with each other anymore. If you weren't so exhausted by this being your new reality, you would be willing to try.

Your hands move reluctantly from their grip on your head, your thumbs shivering as you moved then down and along Eren's cubits. You trace imaginary lines over his slightly olive skin. Your fingers, shaking as much as your thumb work into taking his hands on yours, as you're pressing your palms onto his knuckles slightly.

"Maybe we should take a break from each other."

Your lips feel lighter than air as you mouth the words, still you're more concerned about how Eren is taking the sentence up. It's not easy to digest; you moved your eyes onto his form and suddenly they're stuck there, that pained expression is suppressing your lips in a puckered state, harsh lines spreading all over the volume of your lips.

"I didn't say this for you to tell me that."

Eren throws his hands in a orbit that's years of light away from yours. He's not touching you anymore, and you lose every ounce of affection in your body. The stinging tears that had threatened to fall are starting to vanish, hiding inside the sponge tissue of the corners of your eyes. A shiver runs through you as you watch Eren's nervous foot stop it's rhythm.

"I know."

"I'm sorry. I've talked about this with you so many times. And I'm just not feeling like I can do this anymore. I wish I could fight about us even more, but I can't be the only one fighting. I feel horrible for saying this but Eren, saying this sentence felt liberating for me. I feel free."

"There's no need to explain yourself. It's fine. Fine. I made you feel this way and yeah." Eren bit his lip as he spoke.

"I didn't think we'd end like this."

"Me neither." He snarls.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be." His nose scrunches as he sniffles.

His eyes trace the uneaten sandwich in his plate, then they followed a forbidden path to you. But before he meets your eyes, he snaps his gaze back to what he was originally eyeing to distract himself. He wants to lash out, he wants to shout, but for what he doesn't know. It is rather odd to just sprout nonsense to someone who doesn't want to be standing across from him just because his devotions belonged to them up until second day ago.

Thus he bites on the inside of his cheek, pointy teeth digging into the soft flesh with fury, opening holes that he knows will be a pain in the ass before they heal again.

Without him, you'll be free. The phrase is a loop that's repeating into his head like a snap to reality.

Eren watchea as you bite your top lip and push your chair backwards, prompting your self up and away from the table, with your lips pushed into a thin line. He can see that it feels like a walk of shame, from your point in the kitchen to the sink, the way that your feet sound when clashing with the tiles of the floor indicate your need to not disturb him further. As if you're pitying him.

Eren grows to hate the way your pity presents it self. As if he is sick. But you are right.

"I'll go to sleep to Sasha's tonight and I'll come get my stuff tomorrow." You announced, without ever turning to look at him.

If he can work on himself he can try to get you back, he thinks and sighs. Nontheless he refuses to reply; he hasn't been given a right to reply to such statement. He can only let you go, and try not to be swallowed by the suffocating thought of you moving on without him.

At least now you can be free of that.

Taglist: @sasageyowrites @levisbrat25 @puredivinity @ackermans-freedom-inc @callmepromise @nobody-knows-anymore @berrijam @lzrers

[dirt-cup-draco]

Cedric x Reader- Dont Leaf Me Alone

hey! may i request something with cedric? a slytherin reader, where he keeps asking them on a date and they're always saying no, and one day he asks them again and they yell at him and he starts crying. so then the readers like oh shit and realizes they like him A LOT and is holding cedric and saying sorry so many times? thank you and i've loved your previous cedric fics! 

March~

You sat comfortably in the clock tower’s courtyard, the stone cool on your palm as you supported yourself. You were lounging, watching as people moved around, buzzing with life and smiling with friends. Your neutral expression soured as you saw a group of people in similar green robes, laughing and taking glances your way. 

You could practically hear them making fun of you as they whispered to each other. The Slytherins you’d once called friends created an ice cold den of snakes as they gathered together and mocked you from a distance. Your boyfriend- your ex- you reminded yourself had his arm wrapped around your friend- that bitch- and smiled as he brushed his lips against her cheek. 

It might have no disgusted you so much if they hadn’t been seeing each other while you’d been head over heels for the bastard. A sweet smile from your friend and you’d so blindly trusted the both of them. You knew better now. 

You rolled your eyes, ignoring the burn as you tried to convince yourself that you didn’t care. It doesn’t matter. It’s been a month. I’m over it. You chanted to yourself as you pulled yourself to your feet. Your people-watching had been completely ruined by their presence as the ice coursed through your veins.

You were still in your sour mood as you tried to drown out the voices behind your back, looking to get anywhere else. It was then that a hufflepuff with a slim build, bright eyes and breeze swept hair approached you, a bundle of barely budding flowers and weeds in his hand. 

“Y/N!” He grinned, long legs carrying him to you before you could turn around and escape in the other direction. 

“Cedric,” You acknowledged with a tight smile. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Cedric, he was sweet. Or he seemed to be. You weren’t sure if it was all a facade, something used to keep his popularity afloat and the girls swooning. You refused to be one of them. 

“Um-” Cedric stumbled over his words for a moment, your less than lackluster greeting tripping him up. He did his best to recover though as he took in your stiff form, your eyes glaring at his rugged bouquet. He hadn’t had much luck turning his quills into anything pretty so he had run out and picked whatever looked nice. He extended his arm. “If you were a flower, I’d pick you,” 

Cedric was hoping for well anything really. What he got instead was an unimpressed appraisal of his poor pick up line, your eyebrows shooting to your hairline as if to say really? that was the best you could do? He grinned at you like he wasn’t sweating bullets right now and waited for you to take the flowers, say something, laugh for gods sake if nothing else! 

“Flowers die when they’re picked Diggory, trying to say you want me dead?” You shot back and Cedric’s stomach twisted uncomfortably. 

“N-No! I was trying to-” Cedric defended but you were already moving past him and when he got his bearings back you were gone. 

What the hell just happened? 

Cedric dropped his head into his hands, groaning as Ernie snickered into his hand. 

“She really said that?” The underclassman continued to laugh softly, his own pride soaring as Cedric got knocked down a peg. “I can’t say I feel bad for you Ced- Y/N’s as bitchy as they get,” 

Cedric’s head shot up as he sent Ernie a withering glare. “Say that about her again MacMillan and I’ll make sure you never say a god damn thing again,” 

Ernie paled and Zacharias cut in. “He’s a prick maybe, Cedric, but he isnt wrong. Have you ever seen her smile? Or do anything with her face that wasn’t a scowl. I’ve only ever seen her happy with that douche she called a boyfriend and even he dumped her for being too icy- or so I’ve heard,” 

Yes, he had. You’d lingered on the quidditch pitch even after your fellow Slytherins had filtered out and the Hufflepuffs got ready to practice for the rest of the morning. A single flower had been blooming, going unnoticed by Filch. It was rosy and bright- a sore thumb- on the otherwise monochromatic green of the field. 

A relaxed, gorgeous, smile had slipped onto your features and Cedric had been lucky enough to catch it as he was the first to walk out. That smile had been haunting him for weeks now, playing in his dreams. He wouldn’t mind being the one to make you smile like that. 

“You don’t know her, leave her alone,” Cedric grumbled to the two boys who were making his miserable day even worse. If he heard Ernie mutter “neither do you, you tosser” and Zach follow with “why even try? she doesn’t like anyone” he pretended not to notice. 

You lay on your bed, staring at the canopy above you, eyes tracing the pattern and losing yourself in the monotony of it. You could pick apart the shapes that had been made into the fabric and create different ones. You snorted as you saw the face of a goat in the shadows of the fabric, as well as a cloud looking swirl and then in the wrinkles of the canopy there was something resembling a flower. 

To anyone else these would be entirely different things- only your eyes saw the silly shapes in the negative space of the velvety canopy. You always knew what was on your mind- or the absence of anything on your mind- when you gazed up. 

Flower. Cedric. Your conscience whispered at you and you squeezed your eyes shut tight like it would vanish that thought of him. 

His flirting had been...endearing terrible. You barely knew him! Why was he talking to you? He probably just wanted to mess around, have another notch on his belt. Cedric isn’t your ex. He could be nice. The kinder, trusting part of you mentioned but you squashed her out. She got hurt too easily. 

Sighing you grabbed your pillow and covered your face, groaning into the fabric. You were tired of people.

--

April~

Cedric had to try again apparently. You frowned when you saw him leaning against the wall, a daisy in his grasp as his eyes found you the second you walked past the doors. 

“Not a daisy goes by that I don’t think about you,” He tried. 

And failed.

You hardly even spared him a glance, blowing air out your nose in a scoff. 

“Have you tried amnesia? I think it would help both of us,” Was all you had to say.

Cedric felt as droopy as the daisy that he tossed to the floor.

--

May~

There was one person who didn’t know how to leave you alone. The first time it had been cute like how giving your mom a macaroni necklace in elementary was cute.

Maybe it was cute because it was genuine. Shaking your head you removed that thought faster than you could blink. Cedric Diggory didn’t seem genuine. His smile was too honest and you feared the lies that could lie behind those pearly whites. His eyes were too pretty and you knew if you looked too long you would become lost, maybe to the point of no return. His voice was too comforting and you knew you’d believe everything he said if you were more naive. 

You didn’t hate the boy by any means but you weren’t looking to make another mistake and you had had enough dating drama to last you a life time. You had sworn off dating teenagers who were just looking for fun and nothing else- it didn’t matter who got hurt in the process. 

You weren’t wishing to be a part of Diggory’s process. 

You thought the closer you got to the forbidden forest you got the further everyone else would be but Cedric still managed to find you as the sun started it’s descent in the sky. You had shed your robe, treating it as a blanket while you lounged in the evening warmth.

 Summer was near, you could feel it. You could see it in the way the students tapped their feet during class, eyes darting to the windows as they dreamed to be out in the clear weather. 

And now you could smell it. A floral fragrance enhanced by the heat drifted your way and when you tore your eyes from the ripples in the black lake where you had gathered pebbles to see how far you could toss them from your place in the grass. Maybe you should start calling Cedric pebble, with how far you keep tossing him away. 

“Y/N-” Cedric smiled as he began his greeting, lips quirked up and expression completely open. 

“Wait,” You interrupted with a heavy sigh. “Before you say anything can I ask why? Why do you keep doing this, bothering me? What has got you so incredibly fascinated with someone you don’t even know? We don’t speak, we don’t share classes, we don’t do anything and that’s how I like it. I don’t care about your fragile male ego, I don’t care that everyone here likes you. I. Dont. Care. So please, spare me for the first time in months and stop hitting on me,” 

The words escaped before you could catch them and as you came back to yourself you moved your eyes from the spot just behind Cedric’s shoulder where you had been focused on to his face. You were expecting a smirk, something deflecting that you had torn him to shreds and that his pride was wounded. 

It seemed in all reality, it wasn’t his pride that was wounded, but his feelings. Something surprising and sharped dug around in your gut as you watched Cedric stare at you with blank eyes, misted over- almost as if what you said had hurt him, the air punched from his lungs and his eyes watering. But that couldn’t be, he was just like your ex (probably), he didn’t care for you (did he?). 

You only then noticed that he had a bunch of sunflowers in his shaking hands, tied together with a ribbon, a little card tied to them. It was a smart bouquet, pleasing to the eye. 

“Um- I-” Cedric stumbled, sniffling as he blinked hard, a droplet falling past his eyelashes and splashing against his high cheekbones. He hastily swiped it away as his face colored in embarrassment. “Sorry then, for being a- for being a bother,” His response was canned, disconnected. It knocked your own air from your lungs but you couldn’t help but sink lower into the discomfort. 

The sunflowers fell to the grass and Cedric nodded once, twice, taking a glance at you as you schooled your expression into something critical and cold. It was his turn to walk away, his heart thumping dully in his chest. 

Cedric was long gone from sight when you gathered up the flowers, brushing the petals with your fingertips before you read the note tied against the stems. 

“You make all my days sunny” Was scrawled messily but earnestly- like someone had tried to make all the letters neat and even but ended up failing- on the thick card stock and you tried swallowing the lump in your throat that began to form. 

You’d made someone hurt like you had been hurt but you were starting to realize that it just made everything worse. 

--

June~

School was coming to a close. You didn’t get any more visits from the Hufflepuff.

--

September~

You saw Cedric as he boarded the train. He’d taken one glance at you and then decided it was for the better. 

--

October~

The leaves had turned brown weeks ago and you wondered if Cedric missed picking flowers. Maybe he was glad to have no reminder of you. You hoped so.

--

November~

You were wrong, wrong, wrong. 

You didn’t hate people, you didn’t hate trusting, you didn’t hate Cedric. You hated that you had chosen to trust and you had been hurt by it. You hated that you had fallen for their lies and their fake smiles. You hated that you had given all you had and then you were left cold. You hated that you had hurt Cedric because you hadn’t known how to give kindness without fearing that it would be used against you. 

Every time you passed by you saw his shoulders go tense, like you were a snake that was bearing its fangs right before striking. Guilt had been steadily pooling in your stomach for months and now it was starting to get suffocating. 

Guilt and loneliness. You had come to look forward to the expected visits from Cedric the year previous, always with a different flower in hand and a new pickup line falling past his lips even when he’d seemed nervous. Now that he no longer came to see you, you missed it. You were the one to chase him off. You reminded yourself. 

You were walking around aimlessly, sweater pulled tight around you as you took in how the flowers had long since wilted as the cold wind shocked them to the ground. Cedric wilted from dealing with your chilly attitude. 

Shut up. You glared into the distance like you were glaring at your conscience. 

Cedric was walking around too but he hadn’t expected to see you, arms wrapped tightly around yourself and muttering to yourself, eyes set forward in a dangerous glare. His heart constricted in the fear that you were glaring at him. 

It didn’t seem like you knew he was less than three yards away from you. This ended when he stepped on a particularly crunchy pile of leaves and you startled like a deer in the headlights, looking even more startled when you realized who it was. 

“Sorry, I’m leaving,” He said quickly but was stopped by an ice cold hand in his. How long had you been out here?

“No!” You demanded. “I mean... please wait?” Your grip loosened as you faltered. You had made a move, now Cedric got to decide if he answered or not. 

Cedric wasn’t sure how to feel as you stopped him. You sounded softer than usual, the edge to your voice that you usually held with him now gone. 

“Why?” He croaked, voice more gruff than he’d wanted it to be as his nerves caught up to him. “I’m sorry for whatever I did or if I made you uncomfortable but I won’t do it again. I got your message loud and clear, Y/N,” 

“You didn’t do anything,” You explained and Cedric couldn’t help the confusion. 

“So you hate me for absolutely no reason?” Cedric laughed breathlessly, in disbelief. You were a rose, but he hadn’t been prepared for the thorns. “Good to know, thank you so-” 

“I don’t hate you!” You interrupted. “I-I messed up,” 

You nervously twiddled your fingers, forcing yourself to continue looking Cedric in the eye. Maybe he would see something that kept him around long enough for you to apologize. 

“That day in the courtyard, you caught me at a bad time-” 

“And the other times after that?”

“I know you don’t owe me anything but please hear me out Cedric... I’m not asking for forgiveness but I do want to apologize and I want you to understand,” 

Cedric sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose but your hope paid off. He could see the remorse swimming around and darkening your gaze. He wasn’t sure if the autumn air was bringing tears to your eyes or if it was your seemingly sudden guilt over how you’d treated him.

“That day, I watched while my ex and my old friends gathered in the courtyard and laughed at me, mocked me, just because they could. I’m a joke to them and have been ever since I found out he was cheating on me with my friend. To them I am the most pitiful person in school, worse than any gryffindor they might have a grudge against. They made me feel pitiful and then you were there being nice and I started to question your motives because I never question theirs and they used that to play me,” 

Cedric’s wary gaze melted away to something closer to understanding and you breathed steadily. You were long since over your boyfriend and you had been healing but it still wasn’t easy to shake that mistrust you had programmed into yourself after all was said and done. 

“You thought I was just another bad guy,” Cedric continued for you and you nodded. “Hence the whole ‘fragile male ego’ thing?” He guessed and you winced. 

“I don’t know you, I don’t have a reason to trust you. But that being said, I was never given a reason to distrust you. I pegged you as something you weren’t.” 

“And what am I?” Cedric asked as you grew stronger in your words, your bottom lip ceasing it’s quivering. 

“Kind, above all. I don’t know who else would have kept trying after my blatant disregard for you... I was hurting so I took it out on you and I’ve had all these months to beat myself up for it. I guess what I’m saying is-” You shuffled around in your pocket, pulling out a wad of unique and multicolored leaves that you had found on the damp ground, the cold not having dried them out yet. “-I don’t want you to leaf me alone,” 

You were waiting for Cedric to do anything, say anything. The silence ticked back as he stared at the leaves in your hands. His nose twitched and he took a surprised intake of a breath. 

Then as he exhaled, his chest shook as he began to snicker. Two short bursts of unbelieving giggles before he was bursting into a more sturdy laughter. You felt small. 

“I-I know it’s dumb, just know I’m sorry, yeah?” You muttered, trying to manage a smile before you turned to leave. 

“Wait! Wait...” Cedric laughed softly but let it die out. “I’m sorry it’s just that was- that was sort of cute. I get why you did what you did, that doesn’t mean it hurts any less but I get it,” 

“Y-you do?” 

Cedric nodded, hand squeezing your shoulder. “Maybe we can start over?” 

“God you’re such a hufflepuff,” You sniffled in shock. He wanted to start over? Of course he does, he isn’t your ex, he isn’t anybody but Cedric. Kind Cedric. 

“God you’re such a slytherin,” Cedric poked back but his hand didn’t move from your shoulder and you appreciated it when he drew you into a hug. You squeezed him back tightly and he relaxed in your arms. He was happy to be hugging you because it felt right but also because you couldn’t see the way his eyes sparkled with unshed emotion. 

The prettiest roses had the most thorns but he didn’t mind the cuts so long as you were there to bandage them back up. 

[angstars]

Uhh, hello!! I’m kinda new to this so uhh— yeah.

I was wondering if I could get an s/o headcannon with Eichi where Eichi has a heart attack and almost dies(as he does).

Uhh, thanks a lot I guess!!

I am REALLY horrible at this —–

don’t worry about it!! this is a submission darling, next time you wanna do a request, go to the ask !! i mean this can work as well but usually sending it via ask is easier! don’t worry about it my friend, your request has arrived and now i shall send to you as you please!! i LOVE those types of scenarios omg i hope it isnt too angst filled

P.S. ONCE AGAIN i have messed up and im BLIND, i forgot you said headcanons and wrote a scenario omg. tho i feel like a scenario was easier to work with for this request, i do apologise once again

And remember, get calcium!♠

Humans aren’t as oblivious as one may think. Either one feigns utter ignorance, or they’re purely blinded to what’s in front of them; as much as one tried, it was impossible to ignore the straining feeling that something was breaking.

The bond of your relationship was thinning till the point of snapping, and that frightened you. You hated the fact that it had to reach this far for you to decide to take action, and you felt a strong build up of anger at Eichi for showing no effort in bringing it up either; choosing to live in a fake blissfulness as if everything is how it should be.

To be fair, both of you were at fault for never picking up the matter when it should’ve been addressed the moment it was planted in this relationship; this ticking bomb that was ready to explode.

It all started when Eichi began to act distant towards you, constant clipped responses as he excused himself to being busy whenever you tried to get together with him outside of school, or even on weekends. At first you began to wonder if you’ve done something to greatly upset him, but your trust in him rejected the idea, falsifying it that he’d never be petty enough to do such a thing, especially with you.

Marching down the hallway to the student council room, your anger numbing all the rationality in your mind, you barged into the office; not caring whether you were interfering on something important.

You hoped to find him alone, but he was seated with Wataru on the main desk discussing some paperwork. In good will, Wataru waves at you, smiling brightly, “Why hello! Now that���s one way of making an entrance!”

You smiled, although bitterly, “hello. Wataru, if you may, please leave.” Seeing his dumbfounded expression, your smile dropped as you explained, “I wish to speak to Eichi. Alone.”

He glanced between you and him multiple times before getting the hint and excusing himself hurriedly, exiting the room and closing the door behind him with a click. Facing Eichi, it only occurred to you now how his eyes were sharp as he stared at you, either coldly or calculatingly, you didn’t know.

If you weren’t so aggravated yourself, you would’ve felt hurt.

“What’s the meaning of this?” He asked, setting down the papers and reclining back on his chair.

“Oh don’t start with me,” stomping forward, you felt the venom rise up in your throat as you confronted him, “I’m here because you just refuse to talk to me; what’s gotten into you?! You seem to have forgotten me entirely!”

“That’s not true,” he defended, standing up to hold a stronger stance, “I’ve been-“

“-busy. Yeah, I know,” completing his sentence, you saw his eyebrows hitch upwards, “avoiding me like wild fire, you spend more time with everyone else but me, what’re you even busy doing?”

“Are you jealous? Is that it?”

Hearing him say that made you feel like he was belittling the problem, and most importantly, he wasn’t taking it or you seriously.

“Jealous?!” Shocked, you couldn’t help but lightly shake your head at him as your whole expression soured, “is that what it looks like to you? Because from what I see it, you’ve been rejecting me.”

Crossing your arms defensively, Eichi takes the initiative to close the space between you two as he walks around the table to approach you, “rejecting you? Just because I’ve been busy doesn’t mean I think any less of you,”

“Really? Because if that was the case, I wouldn’t be here.”

“What’s the issue here? I don’t understand.”

By now, he’s standing right in front you, and somehow you couldn’t find the words in you to vocalise them. There was so much to begin with that you didn’t know where to start, perhaps breaking it down will make it simpler, to when all this began to affect your feelings and view of the relationship; perhaps in the end of the day, it was a distorted glance produced from lack of communication, and he was in fact seeing something else.

Before being able to begin however, time must’ve run out in his head as he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing both his eyes momentarily, “look I know this is important to you, but could we please discuss this later?”

His words snapped you out of your resolve, back into a dark world where the problem seemed to only stretch further and further.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got things to tend to.”

“Later? When exactly is this ‘later’, hm? Because this is the first time in two weeks that we’ve talked for longer than a minute! And it’s about our relationship problem, it’s about us, and you’re refusing to put down whatever you’re doing just to talk to me?” Something must’ve cracked by then, because you’ve wanted to do anything but look at him at this moment, “I’m through with you!”

Screaming that out must’ve ripped your heart in two as your voice cracked at the very end, yet there were no tears, just a sting in your eyes as you turned around, too quick to see his genuinely perturbed expression as he reached out a hand to you and called your name.

“Wait!”

Without turning back, you headed straight for the door. He rushed after you, aiming to hold your wrist when a sharp pang in his chest held him back, gasping for air as he immediately gripped his chest, balling the fabric in his fists. Hearing that, you froze at the door, your hand on the doorknob.

Not now.

Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead and he instantly felt cold, his palms and back all felt clammy as he fell to his knees, coughing violently, his right hand shot out to catch himself, resting heavily on the tea table beside him. His mouth was open agape, yet no air went in as all he did was choke on it, coughing more and more.

Whirling around, your eyes widened at the sight of him sinking to the ground, “oh my god.” you breathed.

Rushing to his side, you regretted your earlier words as you began to beat on his back, hoping that would help someway. 

“You’re going to be okay!”

Panic consumed you, as this never happened when you were around, you were inexperienced and unprepared on what to do. Your eyes then began to tear up, and fear on his well being began to creep on you.

His coughing was unrelenting, and you spring to life to do something - anything. You motioned to stand up, when Eichi grabbed your sleeves desperately, his body shaking and breathing turning rigid.

“Eichi?” Your voice shook, staring at him in confusing as you watched him sway, going in and out of consciousness as he fell back, but you caught him by his shoulders, “Eichi! Hey, stay with me!”

Laying him on his back, your heart was going to beat out of your chest as everything fell to a frenzy. With your hands splayed on his chest, you clumsily began to preform an amateur first aid on him, tears spilling as the only thing you found yourself doing was pumping his chest and begging him to stay awake.

He was practically wheezing, and kneading on your sleeve, he looked like he wanted to say something, but all that came out was heaving and cut up coughs.

“Save your breath!” You instructed, “I don’t know what I’m doing but please stay awake! Am I helping?!”

Unable to give a response, you saw him completely shut down; eyelids closing as everything fell to an unnerving halt. Your heart fell to your feet, and you weren’t sure whether it was denial or desperation, but you found yourself continuing the first aid, occasionally cupping his face and searching for any sign of life in him.

Crying out for help this time, luck was on your side as there was a boy near by who heard your pleas; and getting a firm look on the situation, ran to get the nurse as quick as possible.

                                                           —-

“I’m sorry,”

Before even opening his eyes to the familiar white washed walls and bed sheets that he knew he must be surrounded by, he allowed his meek hushed voice to spill the thoughts that were on his mind but was unable to speak. He could feel the humid sensation around his noise and lips which probably indicated an oxygen mask.

Relief washed over you as you heard his voice. Standing up from your seat that was situated beside the bed, you felt sore from how long you were sitting but you didn’t care as you leaned over him, tears reforming in your eyes as you smiled.

“How did you know it’s me?” you whispered back.

“Oh you know...there’s a connection between lovers. I just know...”

How cheesy.

He musters a weak sheepish smile, before slowly fluttering open his eyes. They were so gentle and kind, just like how you remembered them. Sniffling and letting out a shaky breathe, your lip began quivering as you apologised to him.

“No,” he reaches out towards you with his left hand and tenderly brushes your cheek with his index finger in an attempt to wipe your tears, “I’m sorry. I didn’t listen to you when you wanted to talk to me, and it lead to an unnecessary fight. I should’ve listened...”

Coughing slightly, you held his hand that was on your cheek, “maybe I went overboard,”

“Not at all, I’d be hurt too if you were distancing yourself. I only realise now my ridiculous actions, I truly was distancing myself without realising it, I only ask if you can forgive me.”

Smiling softly, you shake your head, “don’t worry, I forgive you. Sometimes we do stupid things, and it’s all because we’re under stress.”

“I’ll be better.” he promised.

Raising an eyebrow, you grinned, “first, get better.”

[favvnsongs]

The first and last time she lets him sleep over at her flat, he actually makes her breakfast. It's terrible enough that he certainly did it without magic and she's almost tempted to ask him to spend the day with her. On his way out the door, she almost says something other than "No spending the night next time." She imagines a hurt look, before that sneer takes its place. "No fear, Granger. If I lived like this, company would be the last thing I'd want." People call her clever, if they only knew

(I'm just gonna copy and paste what I word vomited to the group chat after telling them about this ask lol, so its just a little bit stream of consciousness-esque?)

I'm just. having feels over them being like. semi-close work friends/friends with benefits? over the course of like two years? working lunches at cafes and bistros? gossiping together on the sidelines at ministry functions? backing each other up at cross-department meetings?

fucking in his office and in her office and in empty boardrooms after most people have gone home for the day, in supply closets? fond of one another despite their history and that tbh the sass and snark and all those things is still there? but endeared to it now that it isnt malicious or cutting? On a first name basis when they arent around other people?

she'd hooked up with him purely as a spite-fuck after breaking up with Ron? impulsive and reckless and maybe a little drunk? irritated with herself bc the sex was good??? wanting more?

somehow the two of them ending up at her flat on a friday night? research and paperwork for some ministry project spread over her kitchen island? hermione making a light dinner? doesn't use magic bc of course she doesnt? uses magic for lots of things but her mother taught her how to cook and she's determined to stay sharp with it? especially since she works so often she doesnt get to really make her own meals anyways?

and he's supposed to be going over her notes and cross referencing them but everytime she turns around to look at him, he's looking at her? soft thoughtful expression on his frustratingly pretty face? drinking wine and having dinner together? drinking more wine? both kinda tense bc it feels understandably like newfound territory?

they could have fucked on her kitchen counter or on the couch or with him having shoved her up against the wall but she finds herself catching him by the wrist and hauling him into her bedroom? unquestionably newfound territory? never seen each other properly unclothed before? never taken their time before?? and she doesn't want to think about her motivations for it or her feelings but she wants that to change?

they've always had frantic rushed sex? all about getting off and trying to relieve work stress? so when she goes to pull off her clothes and he catches her hands? all up in her space and nose brushing under her ear and telling her to let him do it instead? intimate and tender? looking at her?? and no one has ever looked at her like that before? no one's ever touched her so earnestly? no one's ever called her perfect in that breathless awestruck way? beautiful and brilliant and infuriatingly addictive?

needy girl? fussy and whining because it seems as though he's taking his time just to fluster her? calls her bossy? but it's murmured against her inner thigh and she can feel and hear his smile even if she cant see it?

And of course the sex is different - intense and perfect but also overwhelmingly tender? he knows what she likes by now but now he's got the time to do it? until she's flushed and breathless and shamelessly desperately begging? when he comes he chokes out her name into the crook of her neck? and it feels so raw and fragile and vulnerable? precious?

she doesnt remember falling asleep but when she wakes up she's warm and held and feeling. - safe?? head tucked under his chin and he's already awake? Absently trailing his fingers over the back of her neck? still sleepy enough that there's a noise from beyond her window that she cant place? but when she asks, groggy and mumbled against his collarbone, he tells her it's rain? the room dark blue and she usually gets up early even on days she doesnt have to get ready for work but she just. wants to stay?

draco getting up to go feed crookshanks for her? sitting on the edge of her bed to pull his underwear on and there's fading red scratch marks down his back? feeling so pleased with herself? and he twists to look at her? tucks a strand of hair behind her ear? tells her not to look so smug about it? she wants to take his wrist and have his fingers in her mouth again? and it's as if he knows exactly what she's up to? clucks at her and leans over to kiss her head and tells her to go back to sleep?

drifting back off to sleep hearing him talk to her cat?? she was honestly kinda worried that crookshanks wouldnt like him?

but when she wakes up again she's alone in bed still? heart sinking? she can smell him on her pillow and gosh just so... sad? for a moment? but then smelling eggs and potatoes? blinking the sleep from her eyes and the rain is quieter? she can hear something frying on the stove?

he'd watched her while she'd cooked last night. privledged spoiled boy growing up with house elves to do everything for him? curious and attentive? she knows he's got his own flat and a house elf passed over by his mother from the manor, but the interest had been nice?

maybe he doesnt ruin breakfast? nearly does, but she shuffles in with her hair a mess and wearing nothing but her panties and his shirt just in time?

"you've got it up too high, you'll burn them" she says?

he looks so - caught?? the slightest blush across his cheeks? and she hates how attractive he is? she isnt supposed to like him. she definitely isnt supposed to like him, but she does. despite everything, she really really does. and it's just a little tiny bit really fucking terrifying?

his immaculate hair is ruffled into next week and he's got a hickey on his neck that she cant help but feel guilty for not feeling guilty about? barefoot in her kitchen trying to make her breakfast and her heart flops in her chest right before her stomach goes sour?

she isnt supposed to like him. this wasnt supposed to happen. she isnt supposed to be so tempted to tell him to stay? to ask if he wants to ignore all the work nonsense they didnt get through last night and instead go out and do something later? isnt supposed to want him to feel her up in the shower? or settle next to him on her loveseat and drink tea and read the prophet?

it wasnt even supposed to be about convenient cathartic work quickies, but it definitely wasn't supposed to be more than that.

overthinking and panicking while she takes over breakfast? trying to stay calm and watch the stove while he stands behind her with his arms around her waist? trying so so hard to not have a crisis over the pretty god damn sure probability that she just might maybe definitely be in love with him?

it hurts, somewhere deep in her chest, to tell him that this is the last time? the words get stuck in her throat and it's so hard not to reach out and try to snatch them back the moment she's said it?

it's not that she imagines the hurt. she's gotten pretty good at reading him. it is hurt. hurt and regret and disappointment and bitterness? just for a moment?

he calls her granger for the first time in weeks it seems? and there's so much ice to it? that boy from school pulled from the wings? walls up? shutting her out?

the door closes but she doesnt hear footsteps on the landing? nearly half a minute before the tell tale pop of disapparition?

her shudder sigh? feeling her eyes sting?

"fuck" and when she turns crookshanks is sitting on one of the chairs at the island? staring at her?

On the verge of snapping at him? she can feel the judgement and she doesnt need it on top of her own? but behind him? draped over the back? draco's scarf?

"fuck"

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

people like to act like Thrall deliberately put the Horde in the hands of a mad king, looking at the events of cataclysm and pandaria with 20/20 hindsight. completely ignoreing the context of the situation. So for those who dont know, this is how it went, From “The Shattering”. It addresses: Why he didnt choose Cairne, why he had to pick an Orc, Why it was Garrosh, Why it wouldnt fail, why it might go badly, why that doesnt matter when the world is at risk, and the thing Thrall is hated most for, the horrible, ‘evil’ action of having faith in someone becoming a better person.

Yes Thrall bears the RESPONSIBILITY of giving power to Garrosh but he is NOT responsible for Garrosh’s actions, Garrosh is. And Jaina does have every right to hold him accountable, because he DID make this decision having faith that things would be ok, but realizing that even if he was WRONG about Garrosh that the war that would ensue would mean a loss of life far greater than...the entire planet being destroyed. So yes, Thrall did put the lives of billions over the lives of thousands, and the people who died have every right to resent him for it. But frankly the responsibility of warchief should never been forced upon such a young and broken man.

“He closed his eyes for a moment. handing over control of the Horde that he had founded was like entrusting the care of a loved child to another. What if something went wrong?

But something WAS going wrong. terribly wrong. Another would have to  lead the Horde for a time. He nodded his head once, firmly , and felt his soul and heart settle somewhat. Yes, this was the right thing do do. There was no longer a question of if he should go, or even when-as soon as possible. The only question that remained was to whom would he surrender care of this loved ‘child”

HIs first thought was Cairne. His oldest friend here in Kalimdor, Cairne and he thought alike on many things. He was wise and ruled his people well. But Thrall, like Cairne himself, knew there were those who thought him old fashioned and out of touch with what was needed. If there was slight unrest in the form of the Grimtotem in Cairne’s own city, then there would surely be unrest and murmuring if Thrall appointed an elderly tauren to lead the Horde now.

No, Cairne would definitely have a part to play, but it could not be as the role of leader. An orc would be better. One the people knew and liked already.

Thrall sighed deeply. The perfect choice was one he could not have-Saufang the Younger. Youthful, charismatic, and yet wise beyond his years, he had been the brightest star in the sky of Horde warriors before the Lich King had slain him. His father, though not quite broken, had been emotionally devastated by the recent events. Too, the orc was to old, as was Cairne, as was the deeply trusted Eitrigg. Thrall realized that there could only be one choice, and he made a sour expression.

There was only one who could do it. Only one who was young and vibrant, who was well known and loved, who was a warrior without equal. Only one who could on such short notice bring the disparate factions of the Horde together and keep their spirits high and proud.

A perfect Figurehead.

Thrall’s glower deepened. Yes, Garrosh was loved and a fine fighter, but he was also rash and impulsive. Thrall was about to deliver him the ultimate power. A word floated to his mind, “usurper”, but he did not truly believe such a thing would happen. Garrosh needed something to placate an ego as mammoth as his legend-an ego that Thrall now realized he might have unwittingly helped to inflate. He had been concerned when he learned that Garrosh despised his father, and had wanted to show the son of Gromm that Hellscream had done great good. But perhaps he might have made Grom look better than he was. If so , then the younger Hellscream’s arrogance might be, at least in part, due to Thrall himself. He had not been able to save Grom’s life; he had hoped to inspire and guide his son.

Still, Eitrigg would be there to temper Garrosh, as would Cairne, if Thrall asked it of his old friends. Thrall would not be gone long. Let Garrosh sit in his place temporarily in Grommash Hold, with Cairne and Eitrigg on either side. If the rumors were true, Garrosh had already tipped his hand with the ashenvale incident, and Thrall knew Cairne would sit on the orc before he’d let anything like that get by him, now that he knew to be watchful of it. There wouldnt be a lot that Garrosh could do, really, to harm the Horde and--thrall had to admit--there was much Garrosh COULD do to inspire it.

Their leader would be gone. They would be worried and afraid. Garrosh would remind them that they were proud and fierce and unconquerable, and the Horde would cheer and be content until Thrall returned with the real answers to the problems that besieged them. Calm the land, and all would have a chance to become better. Ignore the land, the elements, and no glorious victory in battle could ever make up for the disasters that would inevitably follow

Yes thrall made a mistake..because he isnt magic, cant see the future and , god forbid, had faith in someone. by the end of cataclysm Garrosh had already gone to far and couldnt simply ‘come back’ without political strife. He chose to have faith that while there would be political unrest and even war that it was inevitable. One of the primary themes around this is the fact that Thrall has been aware, in each book he’s in , that he is an outsider. raised by humans he doesnt have the mindset of his people. the reason the orcs loved Garrosh so much was because he pushed imperialist ideas like they loved. In this book he even tells jaina that his people are prone to violence and that when desperation comes they are more than willing to do so. As a child slave and someone who didnt grow up with parents he started to think that maybe it was wrong to try to force his ideas, those of an unorcish orc, on his orc people. Maybe it was wrong to just...let them be as savage as they want. but to be frank, i disagree. its unfair to ask one man to bear the burden of the violence and prejudice of millions of people. if the Horde, between the imperialist orcs, the prejudiced and haughty elves , and the plotting forsaken (or rather, sylvanas’s cult), if they Want so desperately to be free of Thrall, then he should give them what they want.

[lumilasi]

Part 3 of the ocs/Vesuvia crossover series

(recommend reading first two too)

Part 1: https://lumilasi.tumblr.com/post/175679667601/sosince-helias-isnt-an-apprentice-character-and

Part 2: https://lumilasi.tumblr.com/post/175782057246/second-short-story-snippet-for-this-au-thingy-or

More pics about HeliasxJulian AND AsraxLina:

https://lumilasi.tumblr.com/post/174300355036/sooo-i-promised-my-buddy-to-draw-her-apprentice

https://lumilasi.tumblr.com/post/173387479636/alright-so-my-friend-mad-hatter-rici-has-lately

https://lumilasi.tumblr.com/post/174114849686/another-picture-set-that-needs-some-longer

https://lumilasi.tumblr.com/post/174527838151/helias-short

Here’s the story for this picture: (Lina is the apprentice of this verse, paired with Asra, and belongs to my friend @mad-hatter-rici)

Lina and her companion hurried across the streets of Vesuvia, and she felt sorry for Julian’s ear beforehand; Portia looked rather frustrated, which wasn’t surprising; her brother had made a number of himself again, apparently, and the two women were currently heading to Rowdy Raven to hopefully stop him before the dramatic man did something overly foolish - again.

Soon enough, they spot the familiar sign, and Portia marches in without any hesitation, then stopping on her tracks almost as soon as she enters. Lina almost bumps at her and rubs her nose, peeking from behind the redhead woman to see what she was glaring at.

The sight that greeted them was not at all surprising; the auburn haired man was currently fooling around hopelessly drunk, dancing on the table with his shirt half-untucked, multiple people cheering him on.

”For the love of...Ilya!” Portia marches towards him, making few bystanders back away a tad spooked upon seeing her peeved expression.

”Ahh, Pasha! How nice to see you here!” Julian greets her with a drunken grin, then proceeds to tug his sister on to the table, managing to avoid the hand trying to grab his ear in the process.

”Ilya what are you doing?! You are attracting too much attention!” Portia hisses at her brother, who just chuckles and twirls her around for a bit, before hugging her and rubbing his cheek sloppily against her hair.

”Have I ever told you how much I luv you Pasha? You’re the best little sister I could’ve ever hoped for!” He declares dramatically, gaining a slight eyeroll from the short woman who attempts to push him off her gently, but firmly.

 Lina glanced around, but luckily so far there were no guards or any of the sort in the premises. The onlookers had began to dissipate too now that they’d come, likely having seen Portia drag her brother away before.

”Yeah yeah I know Ilya, just come down will you?”

”Buut Pashaa, the night has just begun! You should join me on the dance floor, the music is quite good!” He declares and claps his hands together in rhythm with the music.

”We aren’t even on the floor!” She informs him and jumps down, trying to tug him down from the table as well.

”Come on, we need to go!”

Julian just sighs dramatically and slips his hand away from her grasp, giving her a pouty look.

”Why won’t my dear little sister dance with me? My heart is broken.” He declares with a hand held on his chest, gripping his shirt from where his heart was.

Portia rolls her eyes again and glances at Lina, as if asking her to help her out with this dramatic baby. Before the mage could even open her mouth however, a strong aura of magic brushes past her, and she looks up to find...Helias, beside her.

Shocked to see him there again, for a moment she just looks at him stunned. He was wearing the same cloak from before, gazing up at Julian with that same, pleasant and amused expression. Underneath the cloak he had a different outfit from usual she noted, which wasn’t too surprising; Nadia changed outfits almost daily as well. 

”Your highness! What brings you here?” 

Portia asks equally stunned, then notes how the foreign ruler was gazing at her brother. Slowly, she turns her gaze back towards the auburn haired drunkard on the table, who’d stopped to take a breather, only for his breathing to halt momentarily as he sees the figure examining him.

”....My Lord, what a pleasant surprise! What brings you here in this hour?” He manages to regain his composure, fixing his shirt a bit and bows dramatically, which almost results him in tripping to his own feet, being a bit too drunk perhaps.

”Curiosity as always, Doctor, curiosity.” 

Helias chuckles softly, then walks closer, and actually steps - or rather sort of floats up in one fluid stepping motion - to join him on the table. It was such a bizarre sight, and a lot of people were gawking at the pair right now, which concerned both Portia and Lina equally.

Not just for Julian, it had to be dangerous for a leader - even if he was magic - to just randomly walk around like this with what was clearly expensive clothing.

Lina had honestly wondered about it last time too, and as she examined the Mirthas’ Emperor now, she could sense a powerful enchantment from the cloak he wore. 

Perhaps...

”Well I cannot deny I am delighted to see you again. I also must thank you for your kind words you’d apparently stated about me, even if I feel they are not deserved.”

Portia and Lina quickly glance at each other with heightened tension; they could not be sure how the ruler reacted to the knowledge of them eavesdropping on his conversation with his sister.

Helias just glances at them amused, before turning his gaze back at Julian. The green eyes held the same kind of intrigue from last time, and for a brief moment Julian found himself just sort of lost in them, examining the vivid, inhuman hue closely.

He still did not know what Helias was exactly, other than he probably was magic user somehow.

”I may disagree with that, but I’d rather not ruin your mood with bickering. It was quite amusing, watching you dance.”

 Julian flashes him a grin, striking a pose that gained an eyeroll from his sister, which he ignored.

”Always glad to entertain My Lord.”

”Helias. I do not care much for the title when speaking off-duty so to say.” Helias tells him with a soft laugh, then steps closer, making the brunet’s heart skip a beat, though he opted not to show his sudden nervousness.

”Well, then I must insist you call me Julian, my dear.” He tells him with a chuckle, brushing trough his auburn locks with a charming smile across his pale face.

”Very well then, Julian.” 

A pale hand reaches up to play with the long, wavy white hair as the ruler seems to contemplate on for a moment on what to do next. Lina glances at Portia, who was looking back at her uncertain, not knowing if they should interfere or not. So far, Helias’ opinion had been positive when it came to Ilya, but knowing her brother, he could turn this sour very soon.

Eventually, the cloaked figure breaks the relative silence however, offering Julian the kind of coy smile that could easily make most hearts stutter. Well, at least his did, but the doctor was aware of how easily he could be affected, so maybe it was just him.

”Perhaps you could offer me a dance? You do seem to have the skills for it.”

The brunet flushes a little at that, but then just grins, boldly grasping his hand - much to the shock and worry for his sister - tugging his companion closer, who just chuckles at his gesture, not bothered by it much to Portia’s relief.

”Why I’d be flattered to offer you one, your highness. I just hope you can keep up, I’d rather not injure your delicate feet.” He glances down pointedly, and indeed, Lina notes that like last time, Helias was barefoot. She was really curious about that honestly, figuring maybe she should ask about it sometime as it was a bit bizarre.

”Oh I am sure you’d love to, but I would prefer doing it on the floor.”

”Oh don’t worry dear, I’ll be careful with you.”

A pale hand lifts up to brush his cheek, taking the brunet by surprise.

”It’s more a concern of your wellbeing, Julian. If you trip and fall, you might injure yourself.”

 The brunet was about to inform him there was no need to worry given his peculiar trait, but he is too struck by the genuine soft concern in the musical voice, so instead, he steps down from the table, still holding a pale hand on his gloved one. He brings it up to his lips and kisses it, just as Helias slips back down from the table as well.

”If you insist, my dear.”

 Lina and Portia resign to watch from the sidelines as the brunet dances with his more unusual partner, and the young mage notes Helias was a capable dancer too. She also noticed that his feet rarely touched the ground. He’d also dropped his cloak briefly and leaving it at the edge of the table, likely to make it easier for him to dance. This was the first time she’d seen him wearing an outfit with pants, but it actually didn’t look that weird.

”Is he...floating? I don’t think Ilya is holding him up that much even if he’s shorter...” Portia muses out confused, having noticed the same thing she did.

”I think...he is. It’s some sort of passive magic thing maybe? Perhaps his kindred just like to move around by floating in general?” Lina contemplates on this peculiar detail, holding her chin thoughtfully. It didn’t feel likely as she’d never seen Lady Gwendolyn float. She always marched forward with determined steps.

 ”What are they exactly? I mean...I know Lord Helias and Lady Gwendolyn are some sort of magic folk. Milady has been telling us to be kind of hush hush about it, but...”

Lina could see her friend’s tendency to gossip shine trough for a bit as she examined the dancing pair curiously now. If the mage was honest with herself, she was curious too. The same time though, she had asked Asra about this, and he’d told her to not worry about it, stating that whatever their true selves were, neither sibling was a malevolent being.

Watching Julian and Sir Helias dance, Lina suddenly felt a pang of something in her chest; she missed Asra. He’d gone off again this morning, and even if he’d promised to be back by tomorrow, she still felt horrible sense of loneliness whenever he was away.

”We should probably get Ilya out of here soon; Lord Helias is bound to attract attention.” Portia points out suddenly, snapping Lina out of her thoughts. She sighs and smiles with a nod, and the two head for the pair. As if sensing them approach, Helias makes Julian halt his steps, and he turns to look at the two women.

”I presume you wish to send your brother home by now, my sweet?” The white haired figure asks from Portia with a light smile, and the woman nods, offering him a polite smile.

”If it’s not too much of a bother to you sire.”

”Of course not; I understand he should probably go and sleep this off.” Helias chuckles, turning to look at the brunet who looked miffed; he’d clearly been enjoying their dance a lot.

”Your skills are extraordinary my dear; then again, I should expect nothing less from a royalty.”

”Please; I simply followed your lead, Doctor.” Helias tells him with a laugh, patting his cheek gently, gaining a slight flush from his companion, who coughs a bit and then reminds him with a scolding finger to just use his name instead.

”Ah, of course, Julian. My apologies.” Helias chuckles, picking up his cloak and putting it back on, and then turns back at the two girls.

 ”I’d join you bringing him home, but I believe that would not be ......ideal to you given his circumstance.”

”Yes, we’d prefer if people wouldn’t know where he is staying at the moment much, sorry.” Lina offers the ruler an apologetic smile, but Helias just nods, stating he understood it fully.

”I should make haste as well to be frank with you; my sister has been….on the edge lately, and she’ll grow concerned if I’m gone for too long.” The white haired figure sighs and nods at them, glancing at Julian with a wry smile. 

”Hopefully I get to dance with you again, Julian; it was quite entertaining.”

”Ah, I hope so too.” The brunet manages to mumble out and watches as the pale figure disappears into the streets again.

As Lina gazes after him, she suddenly notices another familiar figure who heads after him, but not before giving them a glance. 

Azul. 

So the mage was still keeping an eye on the fluffy haired ruler.

After a brief moment of examining them, the blunet turns to head after Helias, but not before the snake on his shoulder waves his tail at them as a greeting.

”That guy again?” Portia muses upon noticing what Lina was looking at.

”Makes you wonder what happened in the past to have someone constantly stalk Lord Helias.”

Lina couldn’t agree more with her friend.

After a moment of silence, she sighs and gestures Portia to bring Julian to Mazelinka so he could sleep off his hangover.

Whee third story completed.

I initially planned to draw another picture to go along with this short story snippet, but my brain just sort of short circuited and I couldn’t decide on what to draw for it.

I’m also going to go into the actual story-reason behind why Helias is in Vesuvia soon enough; since he is not an apprentice, I wanted to create an actual background story for his presence and how this ship came to be.

Since, Y know, it’s not my style to ship stuff without giving it a story. The best part (to me anyway) about any sort of ship and couple is the journey to the point they are together, not the destination.

Helias, Azul, Azul’s snake (C) Me

Lina, Gwendolyn (C) @mad-hatter-rici

Julian, Portia, Nadia, Mazelinka (C) Nix Hydra

[understandingthevoices]

it was a rly short lived fling but i learned a lot from collegeboy

i remember one time i caught him in a lie/misunderstanding

and i knew if i let it slide he would just continue doing it

‘cause thats who guys are LOL

always testing the boundaries to see what they can/cant get away with

so i confronted him about it right as he was about to leave

but before i did i was like “but you cant get mad or defensive” (LOL probs just leftover reflex protection from a previous thing) and he was like “okay i wont”

so i asked him questions he replied he was calm and nice about it, and he validated my concerns, made me feel heard

and we got it sorted out (kinda)

and i was like omg that was so ez i like this whole talking about our problems thing, esp when he didn’t try to undermine or manipulate me; for the first time I felt heard, respected, and understood

and then every time he left he always pulled me in close and gave me a tight hug and a kiss 

and i thought because of this misunderstanding he might not? things were kinda tense after

but he still did!1 and i was like whoa this is new; he isnt treating me any differently? even though i didnt walk on eggshells? and we had a semi-sensitive/difficult convo? like he went there with me !

it actually made me tear up, cuz it was so freeing to realize i could be who i was, express my emotions and fears, say what was on my mind, knowing he would work thru it with me and still be there, with the best hugs and kisses -- and not just run away / stonewall me / ignore the issue / manipulate me into believing i was overreacting which is what I was used to, sadly enough

i don’t think doing those things even crossed his mind tbh

this all seems so silly, i know

but i think it just goes to show how fcuked up my mind was after that toxic thing -- and why i would never ever ever go back to it #growth #self-care

being with collegeboy recalibrated me and made me realize the level of disrespect i had tolerated in the past, not really knowing any better and having nothing to compare it to -- he was exactly what i needed at the time

but truth is as much as i liked him he was a lil too emotionally stunted for me— but since he was young and around other wild people i cut him some slack ;; until things turned sour and i couldn’t ignore it :/

but still for a brief period of time he was a solid guy and once he wasn’t I found it within me to leave, choosing self respect over everything else

I told myself i would #bebetter and #dobetter and i really am doing that (: it’s a good feeling when you can be tru to yourself

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis: “a babe, a snack, a f-cking heart attack”

[Specific-Summary]:  They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking, 

[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)(16) (17) (18) (19)

(20) (21)

D: [Picture of Roman and Logan cuddling asleep. Jpeg] Aw what a lovely couple

R: s h ut u p sh ut u p

D: Hey you were the one who said it was ok to make fun of your crush

R: I SAID THERE WAS NOTHING TO MAKE FUN OF BECAUSE I DIDNT AND DONT HAVE A CRUSH

R: ok i might have said to not bring it up to his face again but that was not an admission of anything deeper then standard thirst ok

R: deeeee yyou’re not responding and your silence wont make me talk

D: Oh I was getting the evidence

[Screenshot. Jpeg]

D: Huh… That seems pretty soft and gay for “standard thirst” don’t you think?

R:....

R: YOU MENTION SOMEONES CHUBBY CHEEKS ONCE. ONCE.

D: It was more then once {Screenshot Montage. jpeg]

R: he has a lovely smile ok!!! And all those dimples and his moles byg od!!!i can appreciate friends!!!

D: and I have beautiful piano hands you think were sculpted from the finest porcelain and should be protected but alright just a friendly friend thing to constantly be thinking about

R: why must youl punish me for speaking the truth????

D: it's apart of the job <3

D: but yeah we all know you dont have a hand fetish or a smile fetish you were just raised on a diet of shakesphere and disney

R: you know,,, boyfs usually don’t yah know e nc oura ge this HYPOTHETICAL behavior

D: I mean if it was someone like Remy then yeah I’d have some issues D: But it’s L so it’s all good

R: remy isnt that bad!!! yall be petty!!!

D: That’s Why We’d Have Issues D: If I have to share I’d at least liked to enjoy the other person’s company

R: thats almost sweet

D: I try

R: speaking of trying… this weekend?? you free???

D: If this has anything to do with a birthday present I Dont Want then I’m suddenly busy with homework

R: lies lies lies lies lieeeeeessssss you barely do homework

D: ;)

R: but really i told you im not getting you a physical gift but we can still go on a date!!!

D: mm sounds like you treating me and thats Illegal and suspicious

R: nope! I want a date! It's entirely for selfish reasons!!!no selflessness here!!! And if we just so happen to end up at one of those stuffy art museums you like or a book signing or two then well dang i guess???

D: what are you planning

R: it's a date!!a cute little date k!!! So you down?

D: Perhaps

R: yee boy

D: If you drive me there <3

R: SLIMY

D: Snakes do not have slime ™

R: yet here we are

D: So?

R:alrigh fuckin bet lets do it

D: Wai D: t wha

---

“Happy birthday!” Roman cheered, crashing into Dmitri.

Without looking up, Dmitri easily caught Roman in his arms, “My birthday isn’t for two weeks,” he sighed, his exasperation being melted as Roman nuzzled him further.

“Mmm shut up,” Roman dragged Dmitri behind him in the parking lot, the school bell ringing, “We had a deal so stop pouting,” he said, sing-song.

“It’s not a pou...Then why are we going to my car,” Dmitri said, expression souring and no it wasn’t a pout, he does not pout--

“Because, ” Roman said, expression sly in the way that always made Dmitri’s stomach flip, “You’re a babe, and I love you dearly, but Virgil’s car is his baby and some lines aren’t meant to be crossed.”

“Uh,” Dmitri ignored his blush, “Noted.”

-

“I’m surprisingly in one piece,” Dmitri said as they got out, “With all those cute faces you make when concentrating it was a wonder I got out alive.”

“Shut up!” Roman shoved him lightly.

Dmitri caught his hand swinging it between them, “Where are we anyway?” he vaguely recognized the park.

It was one of the smaller ones around, with it’s old, weathered playground blending almost seamlessly with the unruly trees. The discarded toys and cracked pavements so achingly familiar that he had to second guess whether or not he actually could hear children laughing.

Roman looked up at him, lips quirked, “Don’t you remember? It’s where we first met,”

“But we met in 8th--” he stopped as something clicked, his hand drifting to his scar automatically, “Huh, church camp?” he looked at Roman curiously, “There were a dangerously high amount of kids who went there, how did you even know me?”

“We were...always the last kids picked up,” Roman said, "Virgil and I always had each other or Remy to keep each other company, but you…” he got a faraway look and he rubbed his arms self consciously, “You always looked so... lonely...I guess I never really forgot.”

Dmitri sighed pushing a stray curl from Roman’s face, “You’re so sappy,” Dmitri murmured with a fond look, effectively pulling Roman back down to earth.

He didn't bother to linger on the memories for too long, instead pulling Roman along gently, “Let’s see if those rusty swings still work, eh?”

----

“Stop fidgeting,” Roman whined, the flower crown falling limp in Dmitri’s hair. Dmitri continued to ignore his request, choosing to press his face into Roman’s stomach, much to their distress.

“How do you expect me to just ignore such a fuckin’ snack?” Dmitri said, muffled in Roman’s skin.

Sure the ground pressed into him at an uncomfortable angle, but Dmitri had the important job of figuring out if that was a new freckle he spotted. He planned on being thorough. Roman eventually relented to the very important investigation, dandelions falling to the wayside as Dmitri shifted him onto his back.

Even when Roman managed to reluctantly bat him away, Dmitri still looked mighty pleased with his new spot between Roman’s thighs.

“Having fun?” Roma drawled, resigned.

“Always,” Dmitri’s immediately said. He cupped Roman’s face, hair falling in waves around them as he leaned down.

“Mmm,” Roman hummed, the air warm, “Do you want your real birthday gift now?”

Dmitri’s eyes narrowed, “Roman…” he said, warningly.

“Hush,” Roman said, no whine in his tone. Instead, it was of calm reassurance, “I didn’t buy you anything. I just got a bit nosy…”

“What do you…”

“I talked to a few old friends who knew Emile--”

Dmitri stiffed, pulling back, “-- he left without a word, he fucking hates--this town.”

“Dmitri, let me finish,” Roman said softly, slipping a hand on their shoulder and sitting up, “I asked a few of his old friends, got in touch with him,” he explained, “He’s living with a few cousins in California, he’s doing well...and...and I asked him about you…”

“He fucking hates me.”

“No, he misses you.”

----

Dmitri slid into the driver’s seat before Roman could protest and soon enough they were driving back in silence.

It had been a long time since it’s been this...awkward between the two. Sure they have their quiet moments, but it was never like this…. Roman had never done well with silence, even if Dmitri seemed to thrive in it.

Roman twisted his hands, forcing himself to speak, “Dee...I’m sorry if I overstepped your boundaries. I know it’s a sensitive subject,” he said.

Dmitri’s remained intently focused on the road, “You were being thoughtful, a prince as always,” he said with a smile.

That smile.

You know the one.

“That’s some god-awful bullshit,” Roman said, “You're angry.”

“Not at you,” Dmitri said, far too quickly.

“It’d be okay if you were,” Roman said and Dmitri’s face faltered, “As much as you claim me to be faultless, that little conversation about boundaries applies to me as well. It’s your birthday gift, so it’s your choice what to do from here.”

“Does this...gift have a receipt…”

“It can if you want it to.”

“And if I…” Dmitri's voice cracked, but he continued, “If I don’t want it to…”

“I have his new number and you have all the time in the world. Don’t stress about it he’ll understand.”

Dmitri wanted to think Roman was lying. God, he wanted it to be a lie because the truth curled in his mouth like a foul aftertaste. It rose in him and consumed him completely.

He was afraid, so fucking-goddamn afraid.

He saved the number regardless.

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

[smileyzs]

Roman started lashing out at the other sides in svs because he craves some form of notice and, as the famous phrase goes “all press is good press” (or something like that) and he remembers that he got that attention he desperately needs whenever he came up with a nickname for virgil but he gets bad press when he even breathes wrong at virgil and the only thing stronger than his craving for love is his fear of rejection, so he tries logan remembering that he used to be able to get a rise out of logan by saying dumb stuff but logan is too busy burying his feelings and trying to be cold and calculated because his feelings were repeatedly ignored and/or shot down to notice that roman is breaking apart just as fast as he is.

Then, deceit enters and roman is eating those complements up like they’re his last.

Roman isnt stupid, believe it or not, he knows that deceit is lying to him, but he needs to believe that they are real, that someone loves him, so he lies to himself.

He tells himself that not everything that comes out of deceit’s mouth is false, because deceit knows exactly what roman needs to hear and Roman can’t afford to not hear it.

Deceit knows that Roman is suffering, and even trys to say something about it, but the core/light/main sides (besides roman) are too distracted yelling at each other to listen, so roman and deceit are swept to the side, but at least roman doesnt feel so alone for once.

Virgil, on the other hand, knows full well that Roman is struggling to stay composed but he cant stop the biting retort, sour on his tongue, and it hurts him so much to see the slight flinch and the micro expression of defeat on Roman’s face.

The prince responds in kind, only to get told off by the father of the group, patton.

Patton guessed long ago, but is trying to play like he doesn’t know, including playing favorites with virgil until roman finally says that he doesn’t like it.

Little does the dad know, its literally killing Roman, insult by insult, part of roman is being stripped away like the inside of a screw thats been used thousands of times.

Roman is the ego, and when he is being loaded with others pointing out his flaws as well as his internal monologue screaming every mistake at him, it hurts, the others words begin to steal his very essence from him.

Every cruel word stole a bit of passion and confidence from the prince and gave it to the perpetrator, leaving roman a shell by the end of the next video and leaving the others feeling full and happy, especially Virgil.

Virgil was ready to fight god and the president 2 on 1 to get free healthcare by the wnd of the video.

Logan was feeling inspired to go take a few astronomy courses, the most mild of them.

Patton was ready to confront his friends about their insecurities and secrets when roman fell.

At first, they all thought he was just being dramatic.

That went on for 2 weeks before someone thought to check on him.

Surprisingly, that someone was thomas.

It was the filming after the one where roman collapsed, and thomas called all of his sides to the living room, before looking over and seeing roman on the ground.

At first, he just wrote it off as roman being dramatic, but when roman didnt move, thomas thought to ask the sides what happened.

Thats when Virgil noticed how pale roman was.

Logan went to take a pulse after Virgil and patton started panicking.

/\_/\ there was a pulse.

Roman was alive.

No one knew what to do.

How could they bring back their radiant monarch? As the word radiant crossed their minds, Virgil noticed that roman was getting color to his cheeks.

They never did figure out what caused it though.

Meanwhile, in deceit’s room, deceit was being a gay disaster and ranting about how wonderful roman was to remy who just sat there listening to deceit work himself into a tizzy while aggressively complementing roman.

No one knows what happened next, but eyewitnesses say that it looked as though ink was poured over romans’s outfit, turning white to black and red to orange.

Pride was going to be condemned by the masses, but at least he gets affection from the deal.

SOMEONE MAKE ME FUCKING CRY PLEASE

[fortune-failing]

Can't Sink What Hasn't Sailed Part VII

"If you react like this when I kill someone then you've conviced me that you don't like me for me but instead like who you think you can change me into being and that thought disgusts me" Except Aneris Doesn't Say That And Insteads Broods And Deflects Every Question Zarek Asks 

(After session 74. At night.)

Aneris

Despite what some might expect, Aneris was not currently located in or behind any bar or tavern, and instead was still in the isolated part of town where Loan had a tearful heart-to-heart just earlier in the night. She had found a bench and currently had her feet where butts belong and butt where heads belong, with Nicol perched on the top on the bench next to her. Every now and then one would look at the other but neither said anything.

Zarek

After walking for a while through town in the direction London had pointed to, and checking a tavern or two, Zarek spotted a figure sitting on a bench not in the way anyone else would actually sit there. The fact the figure was purple and black only made it way easier to notice it was Aneris. He approached her. "Hey, having fun outside?" He gave her a worried look instead of the appropriate sarcastic one he would usually have with such a greeting.

Aneris

As Zarek approached Aneris looks up from a white knife she had been turning over in her hands. She meets his eyes as he speaks. "You came all the way out here, to ask that?" She responds coldly.

Zarek

"Oh, how did you know?" Zarek smiled before dropping the act. "Of course I didn't, I came here to find you."

Aneris

"Well here I am, you found me." She waves a hand in the air for a moment despite her tone remaining unchanged. "Is that it then? Are you done?"

Zarek

"Do you want me to go away already?" He said in an almost mocking tone. Did he even need to ask?

Aneris

"Now there's an idea." Aneris perks up a little. Hadn't she been burdened with enough interaction for one day?

Zarek

Instead, he sat down on a side of the bench. "Are you going back to the inn later?"

Aneris

Aneris scowls, he wasn't good at following directions, was he? "Does that really matter?"

Zarek

"Hmm." He looks up. "I mean I don't doubt you can manage a night out, I'm more worried about the reason for it."

Aneris

"Well don't be. It's annoying." She continues to be curt for no god damn reason at all.

Zarek

"Maybe it is. Anything else you're upset about?"

Aneris

:donglong: "I didn't tell you to follow me out here." Aneris dodges any attempts at therapy hour.

Zarek

"Well, if I followed you I would have gotten here sooner, don't you think?" It was tough not to be equally as difficult as she was being.

Aneris

Aneris glares. "You know what I meant."

Zarek

"Yeah I do. And I'm also sure you're upset about other stuff too." He stretched his arms upwards and let one of them rest behind the bench.

Aneris

"What are you expecting to get out of this Zarek? Are you hoping that if we sit down and talk then suddenly everyone is going to get along perfectly and hold hands and skip our way to the Red Keep where we ask them to let the girl go pretty please?"

Zarek

"W-what?" Zarek was equally as surprised as he was amused. What kind of exaggeration was this? Was it supposed to prove a point?? "Not really, 'everyone' is too big of a goal, and 'perfectly' is an unrealistic wish. Are you that opposed to talking something out?"

Aneris

"I'm opposed to having my time wasted." Says the woman who was previously sitting alone in the dark, twiddingly her thu . . . knives. But maybe if she avoiding answering questions long enough he'd leave and she could go back to doing nothing.

Zarek

"Right, I forgot you have a very busy schedule and tight sleep hours. My bad."

Aneris

Aneris sighs. "Are you not going to leave until you're satisfied?" What does he even want from her, can't he see she's brooding?

Zarek

"Sure. Would that actually make you talk or will you try to stall me until I pass out?"

Aneris

Wow, thats a good idea actually. "Guess we'll have to find out, won't we." Aneris hopes that Zarek is greatful that there can't possible be anyone more difficult than her in his life

Zarek

"Stubborn, aren't we? Are you not accepting apologies tonight then?"

Aneris

Aneris thinks back to London's apology earlier in the night and her expression somehow found room to sour more. "Words are cheap." She mutters and looks away

Zarek

"You're upset because of a few words though, aren't you?" He looked at her this time.

Aneris

Aneris glares at a poor undeserving tree far off in the distance. It takes her a bit longer to construct her half-responce half-evasion this time. "It's possible they contributed. . . . . . . " she trails off, glaring even harder, but after a moment it becomes clear thats all she decided to say.

Zarek

"Then, was there something else that upset you before that?" He asked in a more worried tone. But he was almost sure there wasn't.

Aneris

Was it the tone of his voice, or the fact that he asked that made her doubt why she was upset? Either way it didn't matter, the result was Aneris getting more defensive. She grips the knife tighter in her hands as she starts to realize that there's no way she can think to answer his question without hurting her pride. She keeps quiet and just silently glares away from Zarek. It's too shameful to say her feelings were hurt, she's not a little bitch she can't say that. Saying she got irritated because of everyone bickering isn't much better though. She has a reputation to maintain.

Zarek

"You know, a cold 'yes' would have been a better way to stall this than keeping silent." He sighed. Going from cold indifferent responses to total silence wasn't the reaction he really wanted though. "Now it just made me more confident that it was just what I said alone."

Aneris

Fuck. Aneris isnt even sure if he arrived at the wrong conclusion or not, but at least he decided on something before she could. "Fine, you upset me, are you happy now?"Did she even answer a question? As long as she says something its fine right? It'll distract him from trying to make any observations about her for a minute. "You're just as bad as London, is that what you want to hear?" She singles London out but actually everyone pissed her off today.

Zarek

"Just as bad as London, huh?" So a escapegoat to vent all her anger towards to? That didn't sound too bad honestly. He sighed. "I don't think that was exactly what I wanted to hear. I wanted a bit more detail on how did it upset you I guess. I mean, maybe I went too far."

Aneris

She finally looks back at him. Why is it so much easier to speak when she's pissed? Talking about feelings is considered for half a second before Aneris rightfully squashes the thought. "Do you really need details? You said something and it worked. It doesn't seem like you need any more ammo. You were upset too right? What's with all this focus on me."

Zarek

"I don't need more ammo. Geez, you'd think you'd already know leaving stuff unresolved isn't good. That's a fair point though, we can start this talking about how I got upset if you want." Though it will still mostly be talking about her.

Aneris

"Sure, do that instead." Was that unresolved comment another attack at her? Whatever, as long as the subject of the conversation is moving away from her she could start to relax again.

Zarek

"Hmm, I guess I was irritated at how you kept ignoring what I said." He tilts his head upwards to look at the night sky as he continues. "Most of that stuff really didn't seem worth your time or effort I guess."

Aneris

"I'm the one who gets to decided whether something's worth my time or not. And if you don't want to get ignored you should at least offer a reason to listen." This all seems like Zarek problems. It's good to know that nothing is ever Aneris' fault.

Zarek

"I guess I should trust your judgement on that. Someone who comes all the way out here to sit on a bench and stare into space must have a good sense of how to use their time." He sighs. It's the most difficult thing to be nice when all of Aneris' answers are like this. "So, do you take actual reasons to listen? Or do you discard and avoid anything you don't like?"

Aneris

"I wasn't staring into space." She points the knife in her hand at Zarek as she corrects him. "I made a knife." She flips the knife away from him again and goes back to twirling it in her hands. "You asked me not to kill your brother if we ran into him, that was a solid reason, but I can't believe that you had a good reason to hold back on the orcs."

Zarek

Zarek swallows upon hearing this, that one favor was still important to him. "There was no reason to hold back while we were fighting them." He sighs. Was it even worth saying that battles end after a side is defeated?

Aneris

"Then why were you so upset? Would you really have been happier knowing they were still out there, going right back to doing what they were before they picked a fight with us?"

Zarek

"I guess not but... are you going to tell me you got rid of them to protect future tiefling children? Or did you do it because you wanted to see how it would be to blighttouch someone until they died?" He looked back at her.

Aneris

She doesn't look away. "You want an honest answer for that?"

Zarek

"Yeah." He doesn't break eye contact either. It would be incredible if he actually got an honest answer.

Aneris

The faintest smile appears as she responds. "The tieflings had almost nothing to do with it, but it wasn't all curiosity either. I was irritated and killing them made me feel better. The method wasn't important, even if seeing the blight get him was another layer of satisfaction." She tilts her head as if she had to decide on something on the spot. "If you want to dumb it down, I did it because I could, and frankly, no one can argue they weren't asking for it. Is that honest enough for you?"

Zarek

"Yeah, I'm glad to hear the honest reason for it. So... You were irritated and decided to take it out on someone weaker to make you feel better." He got up from the bench "It's hard to say nobody can argue when the guy had already surrendered anyway. I guess after the conversation we had a few days ago I hoped you wouldn't do this kind of shit... That's all."

Aneris

The smile drops and her eyes narrow "Frame it however you want Zarek, when you draw a weapon on someone you don't get to complain about what might happen to you afterwards." "Oh and before you go, you might want to rethink whatever watered-down idealized bastardization of me exists in your mind. I don't need you building up hopes for me around some delusion you might believe in." what the fuck does he think he's talking about 'this kind of shit'. Aneris seems to be done with cold and switches hard into bitter.

Zarek

Zarek turns back to look at her. "Watered-down bastardization? Come on. If I had such an image of you I wouldn't be frustrated, I would be surprised. But nothing you did was completely unexpected." He clicked his tongue. "I thought being at the other end of someone who used violence on whoever he could without a bigger motive would make you think twice about doing it again. But I bet you're too much of an hypocrite to put two and two together, aren't you?" God, this really wasn't what he came to say at all.

Aneris

Ah, she's mad. Aneris raises her voice as she goes on "Yeah 'you thought', there's your problem. You say you don't have deluded expections for me, but in the same breathe start making up 'lessons' I'm supposed to be learning from things. For fucks sake, and you're calling me the hypocrite."

Zarek

"I guess having any kind of expectations at all was a problem, and yeah I'm calling you an hypocrite! Obviously thinking you can learn a lesson or something similar was a mistake when you're the less self-aware person I know!" He clenched his teeth. "I bet even when you're behaving like a completely open book you're the only one who has no idea about how you act!" He almost felt like he was running out of breath as he raised his voice against her.

Aneris

"Hey here's a lesson I learned, just for you." She makes no attempt to hold back the sarcasm. "I was stupid for thinking it'd be okay to trust you. Guess we both had the wrong idea about each other all along, what a coincidence. Hey how am I doing I'm going to need some feedback, cause I have no idea right?"

Zarek

Zarek gave her an angry smile in return. "That's pretty good actually, I prefer that you yell at me if I upset you instead of isolating yourself in the middle of the night while avoiding people!" Then clenched his fists.

Aneris

"If people piss me off whats wrong with avoiding them?" she lowers her voice again. Not allowed to kill annoying people, not allowed to take leisurly walks at night. What's a girl to do. "Or are you just worried if I'm left alone I might head back into the woods and finish the job."

Zarek

"I'm not worried about what you might go do to a group of criminals in a forest right now." He replied, still a bit more intense than he should be. "What I was worried about is knowing you were out here upset or hurt because of the shit I said."

Aneris

"Ohh? But you were so concerned about me taking my aggression out on those weaker than me just a minute ago." Her voice matches his intensity and she latchs on to any fight she can, a rebel without a cause. "And even if I was a little hurt, don't get so self-centered and assumed that's the whole reason I came out here." Wait what was the main reason she came out here. Aneris briefly considers the fact that she doesnt know anymore.

Zarek

"Oh, so you closed the door on my face and left without a word but the fact I upset you and you wanted to avoid me wasn't the reason you came all the way out here? I'm curious now, what's the real reason you left then." Zarek looked at her waiting for an answer but held back on giving any kind of smug expressions, instead looking more serious about it.

Aneris

ah . . . . fuck she did lock him out of the room earlier. Her volume lowers again. "I just wanted a walk . . . . . London was up to something suspicious so I got distract and ended up out here is all." Aneris impresses even herself with the lengths she'll go to to avoid admitting something.

Zarek

"A walk?" The way Aneris changed her way of answering only made Zarek more confident in what he was saying. "London came back to the inn a good while ago, are you telling me he distracted you so much you've been sitting around here instead of continuing your walk?"

Aneris

"Well he pisses me off a lot too, it's only natural I would get distraced" wow she's not even lying, London did actually distract her walk

Zarek

"Isn't it more natural you'd avoid him too instead of getting distracted? 'if people piss you off what's wrong with avoiding them?'" Zarek sighs. "Nevermind about London, why are you even bringing him up in your excuse..?" Did she think this was more convincing?

Aneris

'I was hoping if I followed him he'd fall down a cliff and I could watch' ah shit, can't say that probably. "I'm a really bad judge of character, he had seemed less completly awful lately." She mutters answering the easier question. "You know I've spent a lot of my life out wandering at night, it's not really weird if I want to take a walk everynow and then." Holy shit how does Zarek deal with her

Zarek

Less awful lately, huh? It was kind of weird how they really started getting along better.....again... For like the third time. Maybe it wasn't that weird. "I'll give you that wanting to take a walk isn't weird. But wanting to take one just because... right when you're feeling upset and hurt? You either haven't connected the dots or you really don't want to say it, do you?" Zarek sighs, he didn't look angry anymore, maybe a little tired or a little frustrated, but can anyone blame him?

Aneris

So this is it, an hour of arguing and now she has to admit to either being stupid or having an emotion. "Maybe I don't" she looks away again.

Zarek

"Is there a reason you don't want to say it?" The answer seemed kind of crystal clear though.

Aneris

"Why should I?" Say it? Have a reason? She offers no clue to what she's actually responding to that cunt

Zarek

"What, are you afraid something bad will happen if you actually admit it?" On the other hand, Zarek also offers more questions instead of answers.

Aneris

What an unfortunate line of questioning. "I stand nothing to gain from admiting things, it's just a waste of time. . . ."

Zarek

"Does it waste more time than avoiding it with more questions?"

Aneris

"Yes."

Zarek

Zarek has to hold himself back from taking a deep breath. "Seriously? You don't really gain anything by avoiding this stuff, do you?"

Aneris

"Well I almost gained a nice relaxing walk through town." Maybe if Aneris had some of that self-reflection Zarek mentioned earlier she could ask herself why she was pushing back so much.

Zarek

"Saying 'almost' really is as good as saying 'I didnt'. I mean, if we're mentioning 'what-ifs' if you told me stuff at the inn and went for a walk I wouldn't come to interrupt it."

Aneris

"So if I told you that you pissed me off and I didn't want to look at you I could be living it up and relaxing right now?"

Zarek

"Yeah! Just tell me directly why did I upset you and why you don't want to look at me and I'll give you all the time alone you want!"

Aneris

Aneris wonders if Zarek knows he's asking for a lot. "Well for starters you overreacting to how I choose to handle things is really annoying. I don't need someone trying to hold me back. And I don't need you comparing me to Ladon like you know either of us." Anti hits enter without proofreading her reply because honestly Aneris is trash and it's Zareks problem now

Zarek

Zarek takes a deep breath. "Thanks. I'll try not to be so overbearing and I'll avoid comparing you to 'people I don't really know', that was a pretty shitty thing to do anyway." He starts to head out and yawns. "In any case, I'm sorry for bothering you on your... walk, and getting so riled up. I just wanted to apologize for being insensitive earlier. Goodnight."

Aneris

She stares at him, not really sure of much of anything at the moment then hops down off the bench. "Yeah well see that it doesn't happen again." She reverts to her cold demeanor from earlier as she sticks her arm out and retrieves Nicol from the bench and turns to leave in the other direction.

Zarek

Instead of giving her a reply he just waves his hand as he walks away. Maybe he should get another room tonight. But then again Aneris doesn't really need sleep, and probably won't want to come back, after all, she loves walking at night. It's not worth the money.