#ig this is what motivation does to an artist

[isatohlee]

Get reverse animorphed loser

[anonymousdormhacks]

I love that scale people made up about how hard a language is compared to your target language because spanish was way harder for me than japanese ever was. This isn't to say that japanese is easy, but learning any language is way way easier when you have a vested interest in reading the next untranslated chapter to a manga that was left on a cliffhanger last issue

[angelsforthenight]

MRS. AND MRS. SMITH — abby anderson x fem!reader

ways you can help gaza 🇵🇸

do not buy tlou2 remastered!

a/n: this is way more inspired by the mr and mrs smith series (2024) not the 2005 one!!! this explains why they’re wives :3

you’re an assassin along with your assigned partner/wife, abby anderson. fed up with her toxic behaviour, you’re pleased when the mission is centred around you seducing a man for murderous motives. why? well, because you know it’ll get under abby’s skin. little did you know, things would blow over way more than you thought it would.

cw: mdni, owen feature🤮🤮, long fic, kinda slow-burn ig?, femme fatale, arranged marriage couple, kinda toxic relationship, violence, mention of blades, car sex, mean!abby, bratty!reader, dom!abby, degrading, bdsm, ass-smacking, finger-fucking, cursing, jealous!abby, hair pulling, dry-humping, finger-sucking, choking, rough sex, teasing, squirting.

“short brown hair, rugged beard. got that?” abby’s murmuring voice comes in from the earpiece you’ve got attached. you groan and roll your eyes, wishing you could mute the goddamn thing.

see, any other day, you would’ve loved to hear your wife’s pretty little voice guiding you — her praises when you’d do something right or her degrades if you’d do something wrong both sending shivers down your spine, compelling you to do whatever she wanted.

but not today. today you’re over it. so what do you respond with?

“yeah, i know, anderson. we both got the fucking brief.” you hiss. you know how pissed abby gets whenever you curse at her; so that’s exactly what you do. you relish at the thought of her gritting her teeth, not being able to snap at you in front of all of these people.

that’s right, you two are at a charity gala event. it’s fancy. too fancy to the point where it’s intimidating: glistening chandeliers, artistic decorations and bustling people wearing glamorous attire. you and abby needed to blend in with the crowd so not only are you two dressed smartly for the occasion but are also split up. not that you’re complaining. you’re sick of her. sick of her petulance whenever you’d get glorified by the agency instead of her, sick of how sometimes she can be so simple-minded, sick of how, at points, she lacks at making you feel loved.

your job is to take out an owen moore, for unforeseen reasons. you never question what the agency tells you to do, neither does abby.

you’re planning to lure him in an concealed area with your enticing charisma, make him believe you’re going to sleep with him before slicing him dead with your blade. you prowl through the many people, scanning the area with a keen eye to find him. claude debussy plays as background music, taming your harrowing nerves. killing is never easy.

“found him yet?” abby sighs.

“please don’t distract me.” there’s way too many people and it’s beginning to stress you out. what if you never find him? failing the mission is the last thing you wanna do.

“i’m getting bored. plus, small talk with strangers pisses me off.” she complains.

“not my goddamn problem.” you retort, the ends of your tight-fitting dress flailing against your legs as you pick up the pace, worrying if there’s not enough time, worrying if he’s even here in the first place.

“literally what is your problem? acting extra fuckin’ snobby tonight...”

your eyebrows knit together. abby always finds a way to get under your skin.

“let’s not fucking start—“ you’re about to snap and make yourself look like a fool in front of all of these people until somebody accidentally bumps into you: spilling his drink all over your dress. great!

“oh shit. sorry, i didn’t mean that.” you hear a man’s voice as you stare down at your ruined dress in disbelief. you slowly glance up at the culprit; only to find the noted brown hair and rugged beard staring right back at you. owen moore.

despite your worked up embarrassment and your extreme annoyance, you manage to flash a smile.

“it’s okay, but... you do realise you owe me now right?” you bat your eyelashes, hoping you don’t look silly.

“and what’s that?” owen chuckles, rubbing the back of his head and making immense eye contact. he’s already flirting back, you think. this is about to be so fucking easy.

with a few drinks, owen’s already tipsy and you’re leading him to the vast room. you make him believe you’re just as woozy; stumbling and giggling away. you take advantage of his obliviousness: your hand brushing against the slit of your dress, fingers cupping the wooden handle of the blade in the garter wrapped around your thigh. whilst he laughs and babbles nonsense, you carefully trace the edge of the blade — feelings of excitement rushing to the surface. regardless of the fact that killing is never easy, it’s also never not exhilarating.

you’re about to fully whip out the blade until owen decides to be bold: setting his slobbery hands against the small of your back and trying to lean in for a kiss.

“woah.” you feign a grin, pulling his hands away. “we go at my pace.”

“aww… please?” he mumbles, trying to seem like an adorable puppy but instead making it look disgusting. this is sad, you think. you try to grab your knife again but he’s now grabbing your arms; desperate for a fruitless smooch.

“come on… don’t play hard to get.” he growls, his sudden aggression catching you a little off guard. no need for stress, you know what to do. your knee prepares itself to kick hard in between his legs until somebody’s arm suddenly emerges from behind, wrapping around his neck and squeezing hard.

“what—“ you breathe in bewilderment, eyes widening. despite owen choking and uselessly clawing at abby’s arm for escape, her gaze stays intently trained on yours; a death stare. it’s unnerving.

it doesn’t take long for owen to turn cold and slack, eyes rolling to the back of his head. abby lets him go, but not without cracking his neck first, and you watch as he flops onto the floor.

“what the fuck, abby…” you mutter, palming a frustrated hand across your face. “where the hell did you even come from?”

“there’s doors.” she tilts her head towards the backdoor behind her. you hadn’t even noticed it. your eyes travel back to her; irresistibly ogling at the black suit clinging to her body, complimenting her form. you almost forget you’re supposed to be mad at her.

the blonde chuckles wryly, a petty exhale. “you starin’? assumed pussy boys were more your type.”

“real fucking mature.” you snarl. “i had him. i was this close to killing him, abby.”

“you were taking too long.” abby shrugs, condescendingly pouting. you grit your teeth.

“jealousy? really? grow up.”

“at least i watch where i’m going. nice dress, the wet splotch is a nice touch, really.” she slanders, narrowing her eyes. you scoff, trying to pretend as if that dig didn’t offend you.

“you’re a fucking child. help me with the body.”

you two leave the building with ease, pretending as if owen is a friend that’s had too much to drink, wrapping his arms around the both of your shoulders and leading him to your car. abby opens the boot and you two push him inside. you two will decide on how deal with the body later.

for now, you’re sat on the passenger’s seat whilst abby drives, the two of you salty and quiet. abby’s driving way too fast; her hand gripping the steering wheel like her life depends on it. she’s obviously fuming.

“can you slow down?” you glare at her.

“you owe me… i mean, who even says that?” abby grumbles, ignoring your request.

“a lot of people do. now slow down, we don’t wanna attract attention from police knowing there’s a dead body back there.”

“not to mention that you’ve had an attitude since last night! the way you were flirting with that oliver guy? or whatever the fuck his name was, had to be on purpose. to spite me.”

abby starts driving even faster, increasing your stress. “owen.” you correct, “you’re so self absorbed!” you continue to beg for her to slow down.

“he’s, like, the embodiment of revolting too. don’t even get me started at the way he was trying to force himself on you. i should’ve put a bullet in his brain.” abby rattles on, pure jealousy oozing from her tone.

“you were definitely enjoying it too. i know you were.” she turns her head to look at you, not paying attention to the road.

“abby. abby!” you scream as abby almost runs through a poor family trying to cross the road.

“fuck.” abby murmurs as she swerves messily, just in the nick of time, steering into a deserted field. the two of you are out of breath from the fright, hearts racing from the adrenaline. abby rests her head on the wheel, letting out a long sigh.

“just what the hell is the matter with you?” you scold, “all this shit over a mission? are you serious?” abby’s lack of response leads you to continue yelling at her.

“of course we’re going to have to flirt with our targets now and then! the fuck happened to your professionalism? if i had known you’d be acting like this then i would’ve never—“

“why didn’t you kiss him?” abby raises her head to look up at you, her face blank. you blink, a little taken aback by the unexpected question.

“i…” you look away. you’re not exactly up for abby knowing that you couldn’t kiss him because of her. “where even are we anyway?”

“nice try. since you’re so professional, why didn’t you kiss him? he clearly wanted to. you could’ve easily killed him then.” the corner of abby’s lips arch up into a smirk — the familiar smug look of hers that never fails to get you weak.

“for someone who’s had so much to say just a second ago…” she leans in a little, arm resting against your headrest, “…you’re awfully quiet.” her voice is hushed down to a soft whisper, and you swear you’re beginning to feel a little lightheaded.

“look, abby, you’re my wife… so…” you mumble in response to her pressing question, avoiding eye contact. abby chuckles, loosening her tie. here comes the floodgates.

“don’t play dumb and pretend as if the agency didn’t arrange that.” her finger presses against the dome light of the car; illuminating your embarrassed face. just what she wanted to see.

“you’ve been enjoying yourself, seeing me all jealous like this. you liked playing femme fatale, hmm?” her finger slowly twists itself around a strand of your hair, before she yanks a handful, forcing your head closer. you wince, eyes clenched shut. your cunt decides to flex too — reminding you that she’s got a mind of her own, and that she finds being in an empty field like this, in abby’s car, pretty fucking hot.

“let’s face it…” abby whispers, so close that you can feel her breath tickling your ear, shooting heavy tingles down your body.

“you want me so bad it hurts.” her eyes drift down to your thighs that are starting to shift uncomfortably in your seat. it’s beginning to ache down there and it seems like abby’s aware of that. you can’t help it. after all, abby sitting so close: loose strands of hair framing her face, unfastened tie and darkened eyes fixed on you, feels so good that it’s suffocating.

you squirm a little and abby grins, her fingers still laced in your hair. her grip slightly tightens as she licks her lips. she looks hungry.

“maybe what hurts is your fingers in my hair.” you quip, though your voice is a little shaky.

“maybe you need to fix your attitude.” abby retorts, “like, seriously, pipe down… you’re probably soaking down there.” she snickers, right on the money.

“fuck you.” you glare at her, gauging her reaction. you want to believe you’re saying this out of sheer anger for what went down tonight, but deep down, you know that’s not the case. in reality, you just want to get under abby’s skin. it’s what you’ve been craving since the beginning; to get her pissed.

you wipe the pleased look off of abby’s face, which is now replaced with a frown. your heart pounds with anticipation: so much so that your chest faintly heaves, lips parted.

abby’s eyes wander to your lips and in one swift movement, she pulls you in; pressing her lips against yours. you’re quick to kiss her back, the sweetness of her mouth sealing yours. fervent can’t even begin to explain the way you two are kissing. akin to wild animals, small muffled groans escape the both of you.

desperation is thick in the confined air of the car, as abby pulls away and shrugs her blazer off. you stare up at her.

“hurry… with your slow-ass.” you whine.

“watch your fucking mouth. c’mere.” abby commands. you naturally do as she says and she begins to unzip your dress — not without making sure to go deliberately slow.

“why do you have to be so mean?” you sigh, burying your face in the crook of her neck.

“oh, trust me… i’m only gonna be meaner.” she warns whilst planting gentle kisses on your neck. you’ve always admired abby for her ability to vary from being sour to tender in seconds. little did you know, the peppered kisses on your neck served as a prior apology to how cruel she’s going to treat you in a second.

once everything is off, abby marvels at your body. like a painting in an art gallery, she makes sure to pay attention to even the minuscule details of your body. it’s her favourite thing in the entire world.

“turn around.” abby mutters, her eyes hazy; voice bleeding with lust.

“what?”

“just do it.”

you hesitantly do as she says. abby beams: finding your weak resistance amusing yet is also excited to break you.

“now… bend over.” she coos, clearly poking fun.

you shoot her a glare, cheeks flushed. “what am i, your dog?”

“don’t piss me off.”

you glare at her for a few seconds longer before sighing, reluctantly bending over.

“arching that back and everything… wooow.” abby teases, “and to think i haven’t even touched you yet.”

“oh, just fuck off, abby…” you complain, the embarrassment beginning to overwhelm you.

“what was that?”

“i said fuck—“ but you’re cut off by a yelp when abby brings her palm down flat against your ass. you flinch violently; very, very taken off guard.

“mm? didn’t quite hear you. repeat yourself.” abby taunts, smacking you again. you grunt and flinch yet again, feeling the sting of her slap coarse through your body. abby’s humiliating you, milking every last drop of your embarrassment. the worst thing yet? you’re enjoying this way more than you should be.

“i’m not kidding. speak.” abby commands, showing no signs of mercy. your skin is already starting to gleam red, and your pussy? well, it’s a fucking party down there.

“abby…” you cry, completely under her control. the more she smacks, flesh recoiling under her palm, the more your head goes blank.

“go on babe… finish what you were saying before.” abby prods. this time, when she smacks you, her fingers grasp the flesh on your ass tightly; watching in delight as her fingertips leave little red marks. you’re trembling like a leaf, both from the pain and the arousal.

see, the thing with abby is that she never likes to let things go. she adores jabbing at you until she gets what she wants.

another smack, this one so hard that you need to press your palms against the window. abby then grips your waist and pulls you way closer; making your ass press against her hips.

“you wanna get fucked?” abby mutters, teasingly bringing your waist back and forth against her hips: hard, playful thrusts. your bare cunt pressing against her crotch is, without a doubt, driving you insane. you frantically nod in response to her question, in which abby replies with latching her hand around your neck; forcing you upright so that your back is now against her chest.

“use your words.”

“y-yes…” tears begin to stream down your face. you’re desperate, yearning for her touch as if it’s a life or death situation.

“so finish what you were saying.” her fingers slightly squeeze around the sides of your neck.

“i-i told you to f-fuck off but i d-didn’t… haa… mean it.” you splutter. the you a while ago would’ve had her mouth agape in horror at your behaviour right now.

“see? that wasn’t so hard, was it?” abby coos, her fingers tracing down your stomach, in between your thighs. long, drawn-out circles are traced on your swollen clit, her fingers pressing just the right amount of pressure. you groan, and abby taps her chin against your shoulder; smirking at how your legs are writhing, desperate for more.

“where’d all your attitude go?” the blonde ridicules. her other hand moves over to your breast, squeezing it, her thumb caressing your nipple. as to the hand working on you, her middle and ring finger brush against your folds; up and down. she’s touching you but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough: abby knows that.

“don’t do this to me, abby…” you exasperate. she lets out a breathy chuckle before flipping you over and setting you down onto the car seat. she reclines it back, eyes yet again fixed on you. you stare up at her with big glossy eyes, your head blank as if you’ve been dumbed down.

abby gloats at how helpless you look, grabbing your face with one hand and squishing your cheeks. “you look stupid.”

“shut up and fuck me.” you mutter in a muffled tone. abby laughs as if what you’ve said was the funniest joke in the entire world. you wonder if abby can feel your cheeks burning up against her palm.

before you know it, abby plows her thick fingers so far inside your cunt that you’d squeal, if it wasn’t for abby’s hand still clenched on your cheeks.

“this what you wanted?” abby purrs, fingers curling up against your g-spot already. you moan, back arching and squirming.

“oh! riiiiight, you can’t speak.” she gloats, playfully shaking your head with her hand. you whine in embarrassment, yet you secretly enjoy how she’s handling you like a doll.

abby’s finger-fucking you rough, wet squelch noises filling up the car. the sound of it is so erotic that it leaves you dizzy, eyes rolling to the back of your head. the blonde releases her grip on your face but not her thumb, that slips inside of your mouth.

“suck.” you mindlessly do as she says, as if you’re brainwashed. you can see abby’s cheeks tint red when you slowly suck her thumb, making sure to keep eye contact.

abby chuckles, looking away. seems like she didn’t think you’d actually do it.

“you’re shy.” you point out. you triumph over the fact that now it’s her turn to be embarrassed, but not for long.

“shut the fuck up.” abby says brusquely, her fingers operating way harder than before; relentlessly pounding against your g-spot. you cry, feeling overwhelmingly good.

that rigid attitude you had a moment ago? now dead and buried. you feel surreal, a series of mewls and sobs leaving your lips.

“nothing smart to say anymore? you look fucking pathetic.” and she’s right. you look like a hot mess. abby smothers your tears all over your face. you mindlessly move your hips, fucking yourself on her fingers. she smirks, loving what she’s seeing. you feel a knot beginning to untie in your stomach, sublime throbs coursing all over your body.

“i’m cumming…” you manage to choke out.

“i know.” abby buries her face in the crook of your neck, and you shiver at the feel of her breath against your skin.

“i’ll decide to be nice and let you finish.”

and that’s your cue. with an ending moan to seal it off, you feel your body tense up, eyes widening. abby leans in and presses her forehead against yours. you squeeze your eyes shut, before your body relaxes. you’re panting like a dog, staring up at abby with foggy and depleted eyes.

“so cute…” she murmurs before cupping your chin and kissing you — this time, soft and tender as opposed to the way she was kissing you before. you feel warm.

so absorbed in each other, you two forget about how you’re in the middle of nowhere and how the body in the car boot needs to be dealt with. for now, you two have something more important to worry about: how you’re gonna clean up the mess you’ve left all over the chair and dashboard.

a/n: you made it !!! thought it’d be funny if the target was owen😭😭 hope u enjoyed reading <3

[onlyjaeyun]

i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

[nattaphum]

Apo Nattawin x Vogue Men - June 2023 issue

Translation by MileapoSafePlace

CROSSING THE STREAM OF LIFE

It is said that if you want to know the true self of someone, try going through their Instagram profile of that person thoroughly and we'll see their character from what they posted.

If you stalk* Apo Nattawin Wattanagitiphat's IG profile, you can sense some feeling that connects the pictures together. Even though those posts are from different places/locations, different times, and different contexts, but most of the pictures communicate Apo's sense of self quite clearly. And.. if you want to get to know Apo's at a deeper level, try and Follow IG: @apovision, his personal profile where he collects pictures he took himself. Even though there are only some hundred thousands followers, which is considered low compared to the main profile @nnattawin of 3.4M followers, what connects the two profiles is the portrayal of his artistic self

"Po's characteristic, i think that Po is quite an intriguing person because even Po-self, myself, cannot predict myself as well."

Po answered when Vogue asked about his true personality. He didn't seem like a hard-to-know person, but sometimes it's not easy because Apo has his own world.

"I really love the naturalness/authenticity within myself. Po's character and personality is similar to a cat. I act according to the mood. If I want to do it, I'll do it, if I don't want to do it, I won't do it. (laughs). When I play, I play hard. Whenever I do anything, I just enjoy it to the fullest. When I'm quiet, I'd be quiet. Which like a cat, Po will have Po's own world"

Even though, in real life, he is a person who lives according to his mood and has his own world highly introverted, when it comes to work, Apo will give it his all and be very serious.

We can feel it from the way he talks about work, he'll give all the details, until you can clearly see the picture of what it takes before the work is completed, how hard he had to really prepare.

"I want to work to come out great, everytime that work is done, i will always look back whether I've done my best on that day or not, can I do it better?, do I regret if that time has passed?, it makes me look back at that timeline, in which at that age I could that much, with this age, can I do more than that?; therefore, the criteria i use to accept the work I do, i will ask myself all the time whether I can do it or not, if I can, to what degree can I do it, is that work over my ability or not, if it's above my ability, if I accept that work would I improve or not. I will continuously ask myself these things because if i got the answer that 'if I take the job that is challenging and it makes Po grow/develop, (I)will do it. But if (I) take it and feel that (I) wouldn't grow from doing that, (I) won't do it."

"The thing that (I) learned from the entertainment industry is managing the expectations of myself and of others, and... thinking ahead of myself that stems from myself such as egotism. Whenever this happens, it'll make it harder for us to work, less motivated, the efficiency when working will also decrease"

The clear sense of self in himself makes Apo challenge himself in new kinds of work continuously. He often brings out tactics in managing (things) with work to refine the details for him to know the purpose of working in certain projects.

"The method i use for working with the projects is using the What, When, Where, Why, How" I will ask myself before going to work time, and analyze deeper and deeper, talk with myself again and again, which is what I use with every work, no matter if it's acting, MC/host, or fashion. I will ask myself, where am I going, going with who, going to what work/event, who will be there, what does this work/event want (what's the goal), and what do they want me to do"

With questioning himself in detail, it makes him (able to) present certain sides of himself through his work regularly. Even though the role (he receives) is different from his first steps ten years ago, until today Apo has always had more challenging roles, which he looks at it in a way that no matter whoever tells him he's successful in whatever way, he will still have to keep on developing.

"I have to continue developing everyday. The word "Came this far" is not far for me. (You) can measure it from our learning, as for what are the things we've learned from the first day we step into (this industry) ten years ago. I have to develop all (that I've learned). For instance, if we did something well, it doesn't mean that we'll do it well tomorrow. or we might not be able to do it as well as today. Everything is a learning (process). Someone once told me that they're 50 already and still have to learn, develop themselves all the time. Therefore, i, myself, have to continue developing (myself) in every way."

The past year, he continuously developed his work in various aspects as he intended to. One of his dreams is to work with an international team, which has already come true that is to attend Dior's (fashion) twice.

"I just had the time to sit down and look at the pictures of what I've done this year. It's like a dream krub. It was so cool. Dior is a brand with heritage, their image has been curated really well. Both the taste and the brand's vision. Being part of the show allows us to learn, getting to know how they think, plan, or how they prepare things. Which influences us in the way that we ask ourselves 'What are we doing there? What did they want us to do? How do we have to prepare and position ourselves? I am quite proud of the way we (Po and BOC) prepared ourselves. When we arrived, we weren't disappointed because we're fully prepared, and can handle the nerves quite well. The (Dior) show was great/such an extravaganza, and it's just perfect for Dior's brand. (The way they) choose each person to go is also appropriate. It was something that i had to learn. I'm very proud to be able to go"

Apo said that in 5 years ahead, he hopes to be able to work with international brands in a definitive way.

"But as to what it will be, have to wait and see krub. Because this past time, the plans that (we) had, have completely changed. Like, even if i said i will go to Hua Hin, while driving, i might stop by here or there, or might just park the car and walk. Like no matter, let's just get to Hua Hin, but if you don't make it to Hua Hin, at least i get to go to Petchaburi, get to go to Cha Am, (and) i am already happy. Like whether it happens or not, it's the future, but if it does happen (I'lI) be happy."

On Man Suang:

Coming soon, he is going to have the first mega film, Apo said that it's another challenge as an actor.

"The role in Man Suang is very challenging because of the description of the scenes, description of the characters' self, including each and every moment/action in detail. In Po's part that is an actor, we have to portray the words (in the script) into a picture (the film)"

Apo had to lose 3-4 kilograms to fit the role of an actor in old theater/plays that has to wear the Thai traditional dresses and look beautiful.

"I think that this film is fun/entertaining. We haven't seen Thai films with a plot like this in such a long time. Plus, the mixing the arts of different cultures together. It's very exquisite and very challenging."

Even though he said that it's tiring, and every shoot took up all his energy, what (he) got in return is valuable to his heart.

"What (I) got back is the pride and proudness of being a Thai person. As a person born in Thailand, (I) believe that people around the world would be proud of the Thainess and Thai culture that will be portrayed through this film as well"

Seeing that you are this serious when it comes to work, when you let loose, what does Apo do?

"When I have free time, I find a place to take a walk around l. Walk in the park or around secondhand/vintage markets, sometimes (I) walk in the mall, or by the river, old town etc. When i let loose, i will turn off the phone, i don't care about anything at all, also don't limit myself to what I'II do. Do what I want, will shower whenever I want to shower. Leave the house whenever I want to, no plan at all, very chilled, like there's nothing I have to worry about in this life"

When asked about his perspective on life that once he jokingly said that no one would like (him), Apo said that he believe in "suitability".

"I think that when we find true love or the relationship that is suitable for us, we'll be calm/serene. If everything falls into its place or is the right time, love will happen on its own without us having to try to do anything. Because when it comes to relationships, it's something we cannot force, it's something that happens naturally. We cannot force anyone to love us or for us to love them. Beauty will occur when everything falls into its place."

Therefore, these days his love is given to his work and the fans, like 100%. Apo often shares positive messages on Instagram story as an inspiration/encouragement to his followers.

"In whichever way that I can be an encouragement for everyone, i will do it. I want to tell the fans thank you for supporting my work all this time, all the work that came out, i really gave it my all. Please stay and keep an eye on future work, including this Vogue issue too. Thank you very much"

[louisisalarrie]

Hey love at first I want to tell you that I love reading your blog, it’s so motivating and gives me the possibility to see the things on another prospective (+ you give me so much hope about all the bbg stuff) so thank you

btw I’m here cause I want to ask you a question, do you think that with the Liam’s passing (omg I still can’t believe that I have to write this) something will change in the music industry or just around the guys?

I’m not as confident as I was before, cause I think that it is a shitty world and there is a lot of things to sweep under the rug. I thought that with all of the “P’Diddy” situation a lot of things would come up but it seems that after initial uproar everyone simply moved on and no one talk about this anymore.

I read your post about the guys’ post on the 1D IG page and I have had the same feelings when I read it for the first time. I hope that they will found a way after all that happened to spoke about themself in a truly way and that situation gives them the possibility to change something in their life in a better way (ykwim) especially for L and H.

heeeey baby thanks for being here and the kind words!! xx

I think Liam’s passing has brought a lot of attention to the mental health and treatment of artists and while it’s an absolute tragedy that he’s gone and I still can’t believe it, im glad we have been loud about this and we can hopefully make a difference for him and the boys and upcoming artists. I truly think if we keep pushing, it will bring more and more attention to it all, and it’s very important to put the industry’s top big wigs under fire for this shit.

Now I do think, that the biggest way to shake the industry though, isn’t gonna be coming from us or Liam’s passing itself. I think it’s gonna come from those boys being loud. I think that’s where the differing factor is. If louis jumped on a live stream right now and was like “hey im gonna out the abuse we went through because liam would still be alive if we were treated like actual humans” it would be a game changer. and im hoping he does do something like that. he’s too loud to not use this to give him more of a reason to shit all over the 1d team and SC. he’s probably just having some lengthy chats with his lawyer and grieving still. but I hope he fucking screams about it and rocks the boat that is the music industry. doesn’t have to be louis btw, any one of them or all of them could do it, I just use him as an example because he seems to give the least amount of fucks about the big industry folks and what they’ll think of him.

The P Diddy sitch is still unraveling, but it takes time. There’s hush money, lawyers, and a whole lot of managers and PR teams figuring out what the hell to do, but im sure something will come of it. it has to. something has to break and I think the GP, and other artists, are fighting for the gates to break and an absolute flood of truth to come pissing out. We’re all sick and tired of being lied to so blatantly, and people suffering but it’s all covered up. and things have to give at some point soon.

I think the 1d boys probably have a lot of fuel to the fire now with Liam’s tragic passing - it’s brought them all back together and I think, I hope, that they fucking lose their shit. They have a huge amount of support behind them. I hope they do something about this and call those assholes out.

[kittencomicslol]

Gyutaro x reader requests :3

Requests are; Open!!

Hello hello hello!!! If u know me, u know I love Gyutaro (a concerning amount but hey we all have our struggles)

I most likely will not do full entire fanfictions but rather little headcannons/senarios. I’ve done these on my wattpad so for reference this is what I mean by that (no need to actually read this it’s just to show how i do my shit lol) but if you request something and I REALLLYY like the idea or if I’m pumped full of motivation, I might do a full one.

Edit; okay!! What the fart! The link won’t work ig no reference for yall

Here are some guidelines for what I will/wont write, and then under that I’ll set up a little master-List ^_^

Also sen I know you frequent tumblr and the ds tag aswell so helloo! Hello hello!! Ily!! :3

_______

What I will definitely write!! (If it’s not on here I can try, but this is stuff I definitely will do!!)

-Fluff, I love love LOVE toothrotting fluff

-Angst, depending on how mentally stable I currently am when writing

-Hurt comfort LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE hurt comfort

-Reader w disabilities

-Phobias

-Disorders

-Readers who have gone through past grooming/abuse (I feel u yall ❤️)

-Gore (it’s demon slayer like cmon it’s gonna happen at some point when it comes to something)

-Cannibalism (same sitch as gore, demons n stuff bro)

-Human reader

-Demon reader

-Yokai reader

_______

What I won’t/can’t do

-NSFW!! I am a minor :3 (ofc I can leave jokes or mentions of shit but I’m not gonna actually post nsfw as a minor)

-M! reader (sorry I just gen suck w it and I’m mostly writing these 4 me, I’m sorry 💔 this does not apply to mtf trans topics!! ❤️)

-Depictions of something unhealthy (grooming, gaslighting, abuse, manipulation, pedophilla, not cool stuff!! I can write this in hurt comfort/taking about trauma but I will NEVER make it something to actually do w the relationship)

-Yandere stuff (though I love this as a horror idea, a lot of ppl actually enjoy romanticizing yandere stuff which classifies as romanticizing abuse. That is totally not cool!! I hate writing that stuff bc it normalizes those topics to younger ppl reading which is dangerous!)

-Incell shit. I’ve seen too many ppl on here go ‘oh Gyutaro is an incell’ ‘I fought the incell accusations and lost’ well I DIDNT. I don’t care about the plot at all, Gyutaro literally RAISED A GIRL. IN THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT. He literally taught her to defend herself against creepy men!! Like cmon guys use critical thinking and common sense pls 😭😭

_______

I do not know how frequently I will be able to post/write. My life is literally in limbo rn and I am prioritizing myself‼️‼️

If you wanna ask just send it in as a question for my blog, I can work w it that way. Idk if that’s how ppl usually do it or not I’m new to tumblr but fuck it we ball 🔥🔥

And I am posting this 10 minutes before new years, let’s kick 2024 off with scribbles about our favorite demon boy!! <3

_______

Masterlist!! (Hc / fanfiction

!Human Gyu with an !upper moon reader

Random self indulgent fluff fanfiction

How Gyutaro would like to cuddle

Comforting him with snuggles n praise

Braids

Gyutaro with an !artist reader who has Gyutaro as their main muse

[candyheartedchy]

Just wanted to say that You make me feel pride in being a selfshipper you and many other selfshippers that I come across, I felt ashamed for it for so many years and called it cringe when I was uneducated still am nervous about sharing any art but maybe one day I’ll post I just get insecure and compare myself to other traditional artists and loose motivation or crumple it up and toss it in the trash,

Does that nervous feeling go away? Cus I hope it does I wish to interact with the self ship community more I wish to interact more but there’s a little voice in my head telling me I can’t do shit and that my art is trash :”) I’ve been an artist all of my life you’d think I’d cut myself some slack heh but my brain can’t give me a break nowadays used to be able to push out art in minutes but now it’s like pulling teeth to do a simple doodle . Ig artists call that art block I just have so many ideas for self ships but I can never seem to get across that barrier of judgement that’s stopping me, anywho sorry for all that yapping I’ve been doing

I’m glad that you feel happy about being a self shipper, and that you want to interact with the community. Comparing is always going to be something artist and people in general are going to do no matter what. Like I been drawing since I was little and still struggling with it. But you can’t let that stop you from creating or doing what makes you happy. You are allowed to share what you create just as much as others and be proud that you made it. And I hope one day you do share your stuff!

[generational-atrophy]

Hi if its ok to ask for a hc with the hetalia guys

What if they have a s/o whos a fashion student/designer who dose elegant, modern and femenine looks and also likes sketching to stress relif . Hope its not confusing ^^' and love the hc and stories you make with the hetalia characters

Whenever reading luds its fun

(Allies + Italy X Reader) Fashionista, artistic S/O!

(Feminine) Headcanons ~ A/N didnt do germany n japan bcs they would be like ok 👍love u. Do ur thing and thats it jskhkjj. req that seperately ig

Trigger Warning: None, just fluff!

Thank god you’re around because otherwise, Alfred would walk outside in neon shorts, a novelty t-shirt, and sandals with socks. Luckily he has deep pockets, so the two of you can go on shopping sprees together all the time. He’ll wear whatever you tell him to, just make sure he doesn’t buy another pair of pizza pants.

He does love how feminine you are though. As much as he hates to admit it, he internalized a lot of 50s ideals. It’s always been his fantasy to have a ladylike wife, someone who can smooth his rough edges, someone graceful and caring. Once he realised you exemplify those traits, he had to have you.

Your hobbies are the exact opposite of his, but he’s always happy to listen and support your interests. Any art you do, regardless of how much you like it, is ending up framed on the wall, too.

Arthur cares quite a lot about fashion, too! Although his tastes are a bit vintage and very conservative. He’d be very interested in your studies, every time you get home, he’ll ask you a million and one questions about the newest developments. And if you make your own clothes, he’ll pull some strings to get you your own studio. After all, what kind of idiot wouldn’t support the future head of the fashion industry?

He loves how elegant you are, too. He’s always been attracted to ultra-femininity, so your indulgences in that part of yourself always excite him. It’s nearly impossible for him to keep his hands off you when you wear those cute dresses…

He’s also always had a thing for femme fatales, but you didn’t hear it from me…

Oh, mon Dieu! You’re the perfect partner for Francis! He’s absolutely over the moon about having an artistic S/O! He wants to see all of your work, everything you’re studying, and everything you want to make! All your thoughts, your ideas, your aspirations, he wants to know all of it. There’s nothing better for creativity than in-depth discussions, right?

One annoying thing though, is just that… he really loves your work. So he is constantly requesting that you make more. It’s very motivating when you’re going through art block, but… it’s not like you can design all of his clothes! Of course, since he’s also very skilled in that area, he’s very willing to help you whenever possible though. You need fabric? Your machine broke? Just need a second pair of eyes? He’s there. (And his advice is usually pretty good!)

Definitely gonna take you on a lot of dates to art museums and the like.

Well, Yao has never been that big into fashion… but nowadays his people are really getting into it. Now that he has you, you can make sure no one calls him lame and outdated! (And then he gets to spoil you with clothes you love along the way. Win-win!) With your guidance, everyone will finally envy him and his beautiful wife again. Wait- Sorry, he constantly forgets you two aren’t married yet.

He’d love to work side by side with you. He has very different artistic pursuits, but spending that kind of time together is always nice. Both of you lost in your own little worlds with the only words being exchanged being occasional compliments. He’s really latched onto your own ways to relieve stress…

Also, because of how graceful and elegant you are, he’s like… obsessed with you. He thinks of you as some kind of goddess, and he’s always trying to please you to make up for how lucky he feels.

Oh, how cute! He absolutely adores your work! While you’re busy designing and sewing, he loves bringing you little snacks and drinks while you're busy- he doesn’t wanna interrupt, really… he just can’t resist getting a little peak at whatever you’re working on. Whatever it is, he’s proud of you!

Since you like sketching to relax, he often takes you out to beautiful places. Whenever you’re stressed, or upset, or scared, he’s throwing you over his shoulder with your sketchbook and bringing you to a flower field. Maybe he’ll even start drawing himself! Although, you’re basically the only thing that inspires him.

Although he isn’t usually very attracted to ultra femininity, there’s something so pure about you that constantly makes him fall more and more in love. You’re like his sister, but not unstable and homicidal. And not his sister.

A fashion student? Well, you’ve come to the best! Not him, exactly, he dresses like someone you’d see on r/peopleofwalmart, but his country at least. He could probably even get government loans for you to buy as much fabric as you need. And if you need a model, he’s been told he’s very average.

He would be able to help with your sketching, though. His classical training isn’t usually something that can be easily passed on, but he’s very willing to sit down and teach you anything you want. If you’re not as serious though, he respects that. Leaves more opportunity for him to be the one sketching you.

Your femininity is what drew him to you in the first place. He’s never been able to resist pretty people, and seeing how you carried yourself… and what you wore… it’s a wonder you two are dating now considering his accidentally creepy introduction.

[scribz-ag24]

Do you have a set process for coloring and rendering / adding texture to your art? If so, would it be alright for me to ask what goes into that process? I'd love to learn how an artist I admire goes about their work!

Omg I'm so flattered, I'll try my best to explain it!! ^^

Tho, okayyy, I apologize beforehand for how incoherent this might be, since I don't really have a set process at all and mostly I fake it 'til i make it haha. I'm the first to admit that I don't have a ver consistent method and that shows in how irregular in quality my art can look, even inside the general sketchy look.

(Btw sorry if some of the fanart i use for example doesn't make you comfortable but I've tried to find the best examples for each type of coloring haha)

I'll start with the brushes I rely on the most, tho I admit i made the mistake of downloading too many brushes and textures so I might use others on rare occassions xddd

These are basically the brushes I use the most. The "mezclador redondo" is just CSP's default paintbrush and I only tweaked it to find sth I liked and felt comfortable with for both lining and painting

As you can see here I only used one layer for lines and other three for each of the guys' colors. I colored it all with the default brush (tho unfortunately I lost the settings I used for this drawing in particular and haven't found them again rip). In drawings like this I just do a sketch, clean the lines (no lineart) and then paint it. After the base color I start laying out different hues to make the coloring more interesting.

This one was the same. One layer for coloring, manually adding lighter hues (see the more light and yellowish color on grovyle's left leg compared to the shadow) or darker tones. I try to add color to the shadows as well to make them feel less flat, and an airbrush in overlay tends to help with that (tho here I just used a brush).

Here you can see that I often paint over the lines on another layer to correct mistakes in the "lineart" lol. I also applied an airbrush (layer mode overlay) over celebi to make her more bright. I wanted to put this one to show that coloring doesn't have to be detailed to look nice enough. Here Celebi basically has no shadows at all but the tone of the drawing makes her look cute anyways imo ^^

In these two you can see adjustements over the full image again (yellow layer), but I also wanted to show that I don't have a set number of layers either, it depends on how many I feel like using. Again, sorry for the lack of consistency but im too lazy to have a proper method lmao

I will also use harder brushes and tone changes sometimes, instead of blending them with less dense brushes. I am also fond of adding hard lighting in some drawings. You can experiments with it on a top layer and delete it if it doesn't fit, so it's always worth a try.

Another thing I recommend is studying and copying artists you admire or like. Add things from their styles into yours, see how they work with proportions and try to use that in your own art. It has helped me a lot and, without looking to fully copy anyone's style, it does give you some ideas of how you wish your drawing would look, which motivates me (when it doesn't depress me lol)

Finally, the texturing isn't consistent either. I use one of CSP's/Downloaded texture packs, put a grainy texture on the canvas, set it to overlay and adjust the opacity until I'm satisfied. In these two images you can see I am not consistent in coloring even in the same comic lmao. But we are doing this for fun, so I think experimentation is always sth worth exploring ^^

And I think that's all I have to say. I don't control color theory at all, so I can't really explain how I choose colors. I look up some tutorials on youtube and pretend I understand lol. Ig the one thing I tend to do a lot is changing hues in a base color to make it look less flat, the same as with shadows.

Anyways I hope this was helpful or that it at least waas what you asked for haha. Thank you for the interest!! :DD

[rikodabirb]

Forgot to post the last little 11 second made in the last semester, this was for the november challenge~

I didn't really like the audio at first so i choose to work with OCs to keep my motivation up and ig it worked im a simple being oc = neuron activation

I even managed to whip up a bg for them in like a day or two? (this is big for me, i suck at backgrounds)

Trying out a new way to use my watermark that i've seen an other artist use. I hope it's not too distracting? but still does what it needs to do??

[kvothe-kingkiller]

Edit: No longer looking for Alpha Readers but I’m keeping this up for posterity and info

I’m looking for alpha readers for an ongoing fantasy project which I am currently releasing chapter by chapter. I’ll also make a post when I finish it in case you are the type to prefer to read it in one go. 

You do not need to have editing skills or experience. I am only looking for basic commentary.

Blurb: In an unsteady time of peace following a generations-long war, Mila, an 18 year old farmer, finds herself unexpectedly thrust into the world of nobility upon discovering she can wield a power thought only to be possessed by the upper class. Struggling to find her feet in this new environment and shunned by those around her, she juggles learning about her abilities, her identity, and the truth of the war behind the propaganda. When her equally ostracized mentor gets a tip about a plot to assassinate one of the country’s leaders, it’s down the dysfunctional teacher with a shady past and his apprentice who can barely control her powers to prevent the country from falling back into conflict.

(This is adult fantasy, not YA)

tags/highlights/themes: non-european-based fantasy world, adult fantasy, many queer characters and relationships (including aces), discovering sexuality, struggles with mental health and addiction, physical disabilities, dealing with trauma and taking responsibility, race relations, eat the rich, government propaganda, political intrigue, war is for money, war hurts the most vulnerable, etc

more info under the cut but if you’re interested or have questions, please DM me

(scroll down for info about setting, plot, and characters. content warnings and ‘rating’ under plot)

General Info:

Like I said, no experience needed. All I want to hear about is what you like/dislike, what is clear/unclear and any theories you have (for foreshadowing). You can be as detailed as you want or you can leave a single sentence comment for each chapter, anything helps. 

This is a first draft to be clear. I want alpha readers so I can make large changes to plot before rewriting everything for the second draft. On one hand it’s still fairly rough, on the other hand you don’t need to know anything to help. I just need opinions on plot and pacing and characters and foreshadowing etc etc. Again I am still writing it, I usually do ish a chapter a month sometimes faster sometimes slower. The chapters are usually ~10k, and I already have 27 out. (it is long)

This is going to be done through google classroom (yes, google classroom) because I need it to be inaccessible to anyone not invited and because I want people to be able to comment without being influenced by others and google classroom was literally the only thing I could find to do that for free. This does mean that whatever name you have on google will be seen by me and possibly others, just as an fyi. Also I have to add you to the ‘class’ but I can send you the prologue first if you want to try-before-you-buy (tho be aware the prologue is a bit more action packed than the start of the plot)

misc. pros for doing this: it already has art! because I do be an artist as well and I only ever draw my characters because motivation be finicky. Also, if you get through the entire thing I’ll do a commission for you (for free). plus I’m always looking for art ideas so if you say ‘it would be funny/cool if x did y’ then chances are I will actually draw it lol. also, free book ig?

Setting: 

Magic: Low fantasy with scarce/rare magic. The magic is called forging and is basically element magic but I wanted to explain all the hand movements people do with those so I incorporated more rules and ‘science’ to make it more rigid. there are ten basic ‘facets’ (air fire water stone earth wood iron copper blood bone) and people can be born knowing any number, or special different ones, but it gets exponentially rarer with more facets. the magic is genetic and mostly confined to the upper class and has become a way of oppressing the lower class. this actually gets addressed rather than mentioned then ignored (cough, korra, cough)

Culture: The culture of the main country, Odrad, is based on african, middle eastern, and mediterranean cultures, with a bit of southern asian. However most of that is simply due to the setting being dry and hot, and so developing dark skin and loose clothing and making most things out of stone and plaster due to the scarcity of wood. Religion is polytheistic based around an all mother type goddess and the god of the sun with the biggest festival being the start of the wet season. Other important countries include Acrait, the biggest on the continent, which is more south asian based, and Sheiro, which is steppe-type culture. Odrad is an ex-monarchy ruled by a council that has morphed into capitalism and feudalism’s horrid little baby with ‘nobles’ controlling everything. 

Queer Culture: First of all I use the word queer a Lot lol so if you aren’t into that, might not be for you. There is oppression since I am one of the queers who prefers an overcoming story than a setting with no oppression, but it is similar to current western culture in the sense that it’s not Horrible (so no like legal death sentences for gay sex etc), not As bad as it used to be, is worse in rural areas, and is rapidly changing in the cities. for the most part people hide their queerness but there is underground culture. Most of the characters are queer so there’s a lot of rep including ace and nb

Plot:

So far, it is Long. I am 200k words in at chapter 27 and probably only halfway through and this is only the first book. A lot of the first bit is just Mila’s struggles at the school where she’s learning forging. It is taking a turn into much more political intrigue than I planned but I’m leaning into it. so just know that its long and not just constant action, there is a lot of downtime since I enjoy my character interactions and developments and fluff etc. 

It is very R rated. Mostly due to dark subject matter, blood/gore etc, and lots of swearing (I come from a family where they’re just used as emphasis words really lol, so that’s somewhat leaked in...and it’s a first draft so I can’t be bothered to spend that much time removing them). There is a Lot of discussion around sex but no actual sex scenes. It has many things which could be triggering so just lmk if you want me to warn you about anything specific. It is dark and has dark themes, however, it is not a grimdark vibe, the vibes are actually fairly light all things considered. The characters have a lot of bantz and mess around and have fun, so it’s much less constantly serious than most ‘dark’ adult fantasy. I wanted to make them more relatable as people rather than just ‘whatever badass magic user’ (they’re actually mostly fairly pathetic pft)

General CW list: violence, gore, emotional abuse, abusive relationships, child abuse, sexual harassment, bullying, homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, frank depictions of mental illness, alcohol/drug use, addictions, intrusive thoughts, self harm, suicide ideation/attempts, war, war crimes, torture, mind control

CW list of things mentioned and discussed or that happen but not shown directly ‘on screen’: rape, pedophilia, forced pregnancy

Characters:

I’ll just give a very brief (and not great) description of the main three

Mila: (pron. ‘mee-luh’) the MC, disaster lesbian but more in a cringe fail way than a messy bitch way. tiny (4′10) but v powerful, just can’t quite use it yet. country kid way behind on the times. needs a break so badly

Ardev: imagine if you gave a wet rat the power to take over the world but he couldn’t be bothered. gay/ace and has so many things deeply wrong with him. short king

Endel: the only competent one. bi. BDE. femme. a slut. perfect at everything. his biggest flaw is that he likes Ardev. also has things deeply wrong with him.

thx for reading and again, DM if you’re interested or have questions <3

[zilodak]

im a turkish person who lives in America and it honestly makes so giddy to see turkish artists online since i live in a part of the US that basically has no other turkish people. it gets a little bit isolating sometimes because I love our culture and our language but not many people here actually know about any of it.

To them you’re either European or Arab and it’s a little bit challenging to explain what being Turkish really is to Americans sometimes. It’s so funny when you’re like, “🤓 um actually the majority of Turkey is in Asia” and their whole world view is shattered because like how could a country ever be Eurasian i guess, what a foreign concept, “what? you’re Asian?????? No way man you’re white right?” and then the real bombshell is when you tell them it’s also a mostly muslim country that’s often considered middle eastern.

i can not tell you the amount of times people have just out of the blue asked me what my race is. i guess its because of how intertwined race has been with American society and their view of identity throughout history. white with an asterisk i guess. like white as in i have all the privileges that come with being a white person but also not exactly being what people here think of when they refer to you as white or having white experiences. and thats ok i guess since white is more of a flexible umbrella term used to identify who has more racial privilege and power in American society. shit gets bonkers confusing sometimes. they should give you a manual that explains all this when you move to america fr.

sorry that was long and a little bit embarrassing to write in a tumblr anon thing but uhhhh just ignore all that ig resimler süper ya!

Where's that one Tumblr post... ah here it is

It's been an interesting experience to come to America after the discrimination in Europe because American discrimination is very racially motivated, as in if you have white skin, and you're not visibly Muslim (eg. are not a hijabi) you're considered and treated mostly white in public spaces which is a great privilege. This is also present in Europe mind you, like very much so, the way they treat Black and brown people is just as horrible and present in Europe as it is in America but they're also incredibly nosy on top of everything, and they'll clock you the moment you speak the language or you look even the slight bit ethnic and start treating you differently no matter if you have white skin. On one hand it's xenophobia sure, but really it has been ethnophobia for me more than anything (I've been mocked for my big nose, bushy eyebrows, hairy body, thick accent, etc).

I did have one defining moment when I first came here in America, I must've been around like 6 or 7 and this was post 9/11 and I distinctly remember we were at a Walmart (we were tourists) and I think we had some sort of miscommunication with the cashier and my mom was speaking Turkish to me bc I didn't speak English back then, and I think she mentioned God and it sealed the deal for the white woman behind us at the line and she started screaming for security. I obviously didn't understand it at the time and now my mom laughs a bit when she tells the story to our relatives or strangers, but it was clear that she got really scared and worried at that moment knowing how aggressive police and security is in America. She had no idea how to deal with the situation, especially since I was there (my mom's a bit of a short fuse) and she did not want to put me in danger, is what she'd later tell me.

I'm privileged that I haven't experienced anything like that or what I've been through in Europe ever since I moved here. But it does hurt a bit when I try to speak about past experiences with discrimination ive personally faced and people try to discredit me because I don't look ethnic enough for them (which is weird bc these are all things I've heard white people say mostly and bc like I've mentioned earlier have been endlessly mocked for when I was younger), which I understand bc it's different in Europe than it is in America. I even had someone on twitter zoom into a photo I posted and perform some weird like eugenic analysis as to why I don't deserve to speak up abt topics I've had experience with before based on ONE photo I had edited bc I was again struggling with body imaging issues and hated my ethnic features. It was very weird...

Still I find it odd that many people don't consider the Anatolia as part of Asia because it was considered the Orient and exotic for so long, and white people saying that now just feels so very wrong to me bc it feels like they're trying to erase how much influence they and their words had on the people and the land through Orientalism. I mean, the first word of advice my mom gave me when I told her abt the weird stuff my classmates were calling me as a kid was "they'll always see you as a barbarian, don't bother" in such a tired and defeated voice.

[nomeniko]

mew mew 12 16 19 for the artist ask game meowing at you meew

VINNNNNNN HELLOOOO THANK UU

12. describe your process while drawing

i think this was the one question i rly wanted to ans out of the list, only bc ive been told multiple times that my process is like that of a maniac LMAOO

p much just this: vague scribble, lines, and color (which rarely happens atp, but if it DOES happen then it mostly stays as flats aka fill tooling my way thru). as close to freehand as i can possibly get

if the drawing im doing is more complicated then the first stage scribble just becomes more convoluted, but the process is the exact same

as a consequence i take a shitton of time while drawing (usually an hr on a simple colorless illus and ONLY on good days. otherwise ive gone past 2-3 hrs on most of the simpler drawings i do)

if drawing process meant everything beyond just the illustration then warmups r p much a given b4 i start any piece!!! my go tos r always cubes or freehand figures (1 min and a half each. the goal is to get used to the flow of it fo the day :3 otherwise my lines end up looking shit)

ive also been told that i draw like a warrior training. idk. i honestly kind of see it LMAOOO its abt forcing my way thru getting the lines i want

16. how do you motivate yourself to draw?

i honestly dont know!!! im trying to think of an ans, but im coming up blank

i dont even try motivating myself, it just hits when it wants to hit. once in a while i get an idea that i REALLY want to draw, so i do it as fast as possible b4 i lose interest; otherwise i can barely draw, and at those times i just let myself rest

the one thing i do have to thank is whatever im interested in at that moment in time. rn milgram took over my life, so everything i draw is just that. tbh b4 i got into milgram, i was demotivated w drawing for multiple years straight, so ive been burning out the time i lost not drawing in the past few months

ig the one thing i cld say helps w motivation is the idea of doing everything now. if i get an idea, i do it immediately, and thats usually enough of a motivator for me. holding off an idea and not drawing it p much guarantees that i lose interest. draw whatever u want whenever u want

19. where do you find inspiration?

other art i like (mostly online artists)!! i have a twt priv that i use solely to rb and bookmark pieces i like frm artists on there. i also have a camera roll album reserved just for inspo, and ig i rb things on this acc for other artists’ art as well

i like looking at what other artists do and applying it to my own drawings. sometimes its general artstyle, other times its the specific way an artist wld draw smth like hands or hair. id admit that ive taken inspo frm how artists compose their work as well lol

im not sure if my art is what ppl wld call inconsistent, but my main goal is to keep that inconsistency as much as possible; it helps w experimentation n lessens the pressure of doing art the same way all the time. its more fun that way imho :3

[diodellet]

ooohh that ask game has some interesting questions hmm how abt 16, 18, and 23?

i am realizing just how much this ask game is making me bare my soul goshhh (/not srs), thanks for sending me an ask, bibi!

16. What makes you immediately close a fic that otherwise seemed good?

hm...well, most of the time i try to stick it out even if i'm not enjoying the fic from the first few sentences. like, maybe it's just me but a lot of the first words of a fic tends to be the (for lack of a better word) "the gunk" that precedes the actual story? like some stories just have slow starts, but they do get gud.

but to answer the q, i guess stuff that makes me roll my eyes at a fic, in the context of x readers would probably have to be:

disclaimer: most of the time, i don't mind reading these. but there are just moments where they bother me as i'm reading

reader getting carried bridal style (i dont like it, i hate it. id rather be carried like a sack of potatoes. or id rather be carried like a goat by its shepherd. but i do like seeing characters getting princess-carried) just carry me like this instead 🤧🤧👇

royalty AU++CEO/office/corporate-setting AU (like secret princess of a kingdom or being a secretary, for example) i'm not a big fan of those kinds of settings. like ok sure a chara can look good in business formal or in some fine furs, but once the eye candy wears off thats when i exit the fic oops.

fics centered around marriage: i don't really enjoy reading proposals. also thinking of how the rings, the dresses, and the flowers look is hard bcs of my (partial?) aphantasia, but weddings Are Pretty Fun as a background setting. overall, i think what bothers me most is that the chara loses a bit of their personality after they get wed together with the reader.

^^actually in relation to this... im not that big of a fan of prom/dance settings, they both read very similarly, especially since the reader tends to be placed in the more passive role of being asked out. (but when you make it angsty or hurt/comfort, ok i will read it i'm a simple girl)

Oh and ig this is just me wishing for more in the Imposter-SAGAU genre of fanfic (i mean i'm still looking around, i don't feel desperate enough to write smth of my own), but i kinda wish the charas weren't so doe-eyed and quick to apologize to the reader. like, i get the feeling of wanting to write The Good Bits Immediately (e.g. being fawned over, getting to lord that blunder over the characters) but the potential of slowburn trauma recovery and developing a relationship from straight-up antagonism is Right There.

18. What media do you want to get into because of artists/writers you like?

i think i'd want to try reading more poetry? like, if i rb a lot of web weaving, i gotta know sumn other than "deep" pop lyrics (u wont find me saying nice things about ms sw*ft). so far i'm thinking of starting with ocean vuong and richard siken (basic ik but i mean, their works are good)

dunmeshi! i've been putting it off for forever 🙈🙈 (<-girlie watched frieren and forgor abt dunmeshi bcs they got yorushika to do the 2nd OP) but senshi,,,, SENSHI THE MAN THAT U ARE,,,,

Oh! and i'm rlly curious about alien stage! my sibling's dipping into it and he told me it was basically america's got talent x the promised neverland. and he said the magic words "toxic yaoi" and "doomed yuri," i Gotta watch it atp. (also like, carole and tuesday rearranged my brain, im ready to put a sadder spin on it😤)

23. What would you make a 5 hour video essay on, if you had enough time and motivation?

as soon as i read this all my hyperfixations have: left the server HAHAHA

maybe in terms of recent ones, i could try analyzing madds buckley's my love is sick. i wrote about that album for a final paper in a basic music elective, but i was constrained to only 3 pages so i only talked about 2-3 songs. but i could pretend to be a music major and regale ppl with how the leitmotifs tie together and completely destroy me add a new layer of meaning to the songs on subsequent listens. Also like, these songs just Get It (not sure what "it" is exactly, but there's smth related to first love and love lost*)

(but atm im just yoinking songs from there to use for fic/chapter titles, i plan on using one for this ruggie timeloop angst fic im plotting out anyway)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated art and fic)

[spamtonratiogeneral]

Proudly not watching NATLA. I don't really care what changes they made, whether it had been entirely the same or another hilarious fuck-up like the non-existent movie. Like whatever they did to fuck up the story I get if you're invested in the adaptation so fair enough

What I actually care about is the fact that it even exists at all. Even with the very rare cases where it actually brings something worthwhile to the work (I hear the Netflix One Piece is good? idk), why bother adapting animation to live action? Because nearly every time there is no artistic motivation to do so at all, merely the blatant cynicism and that sneering reduction of animation in the entertainment industry as just "the means of making cheap children's cartoons" that just refuses to fucking die already.

In general I find adaptation to rarely justify itself artistically, especially if the source material was really bloody good already. Of course great adaptations exist, sometimes from elevating/subverting it's source (or in the case of Starship Troopers for example, taking the everliving piss out of a pile of shit), sometimes merely by translating the work into a new medium that lead to interesting new avenues for expression and storytelling provided by the change in medium (and by this I mean wholly different mediums, like between book/videogame/film or show/play), or both.

Changing between live-action and animation as a means of making film/TV is not a big change in medium to provide entirely new storytelling opportunities, BUT 99% of the time, animation is more effective. Casting is never dependent on an actor's irl appearance, the method of animation can even be changed at any point to serve a function, animation (with sufficient time, resources and passion) allows total control over the entire visual presentation of the work. And by such total control over the presentation alone, suddenly you are open to an infinity of possibilities in choreography, character expression, visual comedy, tone, colour, environment etc. etc. You are no longer limited by what can be captured in physical reality on a screen in any one take. You are limited by what you can fit on a 2D screen.

What we call live action today in mainstream media is not really live action, it's in large part a corporate compromise to extend just past the financial and physical limitations of practical effects to achieve whatever the script needs the screen to do via CGI. Which is just 3D animation, but it's completely focused on adhering to a visual realism. Of course extremely good and thoughtfully presented live action works still exists; if it's filmed and/or presented thoughtfully and meticulously enough, then it can be similarly poignant as an excellent work of animation. But outside of like, auteurs, this does not usually happen.

This particular example is not from some troubled source material with lost potential or any severe caveats in visual presentation. This is fucking. ATLA. Like, the animation isn't as massively funded as a Disney Renaissance ig?? But for 2000s cartoons, it was insanely forward and completely holds up today, it's still cherished today. And ATLA in general was a masterpiece. It still IS a masterpiece!! It hasn't gone and fucking died in need of a replacement!!!

So there's just no way I can see it worth my time to dedicate my time to an inferior version of an awesome show that already exists.

It's just obvious that this show only exists so Nickelodeon can boost the profitability of [BRAND]. Love to the good honest crew and actors for the show, love that they're carrying out childhood dreams and getting to do promos with the original VAs and all. Wake me up when the animated ATLA films come out.