#ifs just weird

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

guys please pray for me

[13eyond13]

Something I think fiction does sometimes is make sex represent the end goal for relationships so often that if two characters sleep together it causes readers to automatically see them as truly in love / that it would solve all problems for the pair to be together forever, even when that isn't necessarily what the narrative is trying to say / depict otherwise.

I am thinking about this because of Guts and Casca... to me they sleep together initially almost as an act of friendship? A way of experimenting with each other and learning about sex, perhaps of distracting themselves from the person they're both more actually into, and of course also because they do care about each other and maybe are attracted to one another on some level, and want to see what it would be like to try to get even closer together. But I think the story also makes it pretty clear that Guts is more emotionally invested in his relationship with Griffith than with Casca, in what you might call a narratively romantic sense... and Casca is shown sort of seeing the futility of her feelings for Griffith and eventually growing apart from him that way pre-Eclipse, even though she still cares for him the most out of everyone she knows (though I don't think he ever feels nearly the same way about her). So getting with Griffith isn't end game for Casca (and she herself eventually realizes that), but I also don't read Casca as a character for whom getting with Guts is the end game character arc-wise, either. I'm not sure Miura even had a concrete end-game character arc in mind for her, to be honest. I feel as though unfortunately she was written mostly as something to be used between Griffith and Guts rather than to end up having her own fully realized narrative journey in the same way that Guts (and maybe also Griffith) will. I want to see her and Guts as friends and at peace more than I want to see them live happily ever after together as a couple, because I feel like that's actually more how they really feel for one another than anything else. Granted, there's a bit of an interesting ironic twist in the story that happens during the Eclipse, where Griffith (unintentionally?) drives Guts and Casca closer together than I think they might have been otherwise with the trauma that he causes them both (even though I think their relationship is probably something he'd be jealous of and read as more romantic than it actually might be and wish to destroy, simply due to his own insecurities and his own possessive feelings for Guts). But I also didn't really read Guts' reactions in the Eclipse scene as Guts being jealous and possessive over Casca in a sexual / romantic sense - I read it more as him feeling empathy for her pain and desire to protect her from harm / from the darker side of Griffith he maybe knew about a bit better than anybody else. I DO care about Guts and Casca's relationship a lot, and find it one of the most emotionally compelling things in the story. But I don't think shipping them together for a happily ever after is really what I'd want for them, nor something that the narrative was actually trying to work towards / suggest to be the best ending for anybody involved? I don't know if I think shipping Guts and Griffith necessarily is either, particularly because of how irredeemably awful Griffith behaved during the Eclipse... but I DO think the story intentionally hinges more around the Griffguts relationship and their emotional journeys / character developments than it does about any other pair/relationship in the series, and that both of them have intense unresolved feelings for each other that come off much more suggestive and stronger than ones of just simply wanting to be friends. And I think all of these characters are pretty explicitly aware of that themselves even in the story as well.

Haha I don't even know what I'm trying to even say here except to work out some of my own thoughts about the main 3 that I care about, I suppose!

[xaveria]

theres a really nice slightly older (probably late 30s or 40s) straight coworker at my job who i see when i am leaving and she is starting her shift and my partners both work at the same job so she recently asked if brian was my brother because she already knew danny was mu husband and she saw brian with my grandma. (she is friendly with all 3 of us)

i explained we were in a throuple and she was like “omg you do you!!! thats like something i saw on facebook with a lady with two husbands”

me: “yeah thats me”

her: you are a bad woman!!! LOL!!! i cant even keep two guys in the same room

me: it helps that we’re all weird gay people haha

her: LOL!!! you do you girl!!!! live your life!!

she was so delighted it was really cute. im amazed at the amount of support and positivity if baffled reactions we have gotten from ppl from all sorts of different backgrounds and ages in our community here. just wanted to spread a little queer/polyam positivity 🥰

[warriorofyapping]

I feel like I shouldn't have to say this, but apparently I do;

If you ship Alphinaud or Alisaie with any of the adults they met while they were children, you are not welcome here. I don't care if they're adults in your fics or whatever, they were children when they met them and that is still fucking weird.

Even if you say ARR took a year, Alphinaud would have still only been 17 when he met Estinien. Estinien is 32. That is fucking weird. Shipping a grown man with a boy 16/15 years younger than him that he met when said boy was 16/17?

Is Fucking Weird.

I will not "argue" about this with anyone because there is nothing to argue about. If you ship that kind of stuff, just leave, I want nothing to do with you.

[revvywevvy]

Hey so... important thingy real quick pertaining to sharing f/os.

I get it- sharing f/os can be hard for some folks. Whether you get self conscious, jealous, nervous abt it, etc etc. I totally understand- I can open up here and admit that I get really self conscious and a little nervous when I see people who ship with the f/os I am uncomfortable sharing or have selective sharing with. However, that's a normal thing to feel, and you shouldn't feel bad about it at all! It's okay to be sad, or anxious, or jealous, or anything else along those lines. That's why we block and move on, and try not to let those negative feelings hurt us too heavily.

That being said, when it becomes NOT okay, is when you're posting on any of your blogs about wanting people who ship with your f/os dead. Or posting about wanting to cause bodily harm to other self-shippers. Oooor posting about said f/o harming other shippers. Or anything under that umbrella.

Seriously. I feel like it's already pretty obvious that you should never do that in the first place, but those who don't care and want to actively participate in said behavior should just stay in their own damn circle- away from the people who aren't harming anyone; who are just shipping and minding their own business.

We absolutely do not need those kinds of people running around and literally wishing death on folks, whether they think they're being sneaky about it or not. Nobody deserves to die for the 'crime' of loving the same character as someone else.

[llondonfog]

It simply appeared in the forest one day.

The tower, as all bewildered folk referred to it, was exactly 36,000 bricks high, and ten soldiers could easily link arms around its unassuming circumference. Nearest its capped peak was a small, barred window seemingly chiseled out of the grey stone— hardly wide enough to fit through and dim enough that one could not peer inside to determine just what was hidden inside such a strange phenomenon.

And as bizarre as this all was, perhaps the most oddest of things was the doorknob located at the base of the tower, with not a door in sight. It would not turn for any of the initial curious who had tried it, nor could it be removed, melted, or smashed. There was a magic here, as uneasy murmurings began to grow; a magic even more ancient than that of the forest itself. A magic that ought not to be remembered, the kind that persists in dreams alone and there ought to remain.

Naturally, the Queen could only send her best to investigate, and General Lilia Vanrouge drums his fingers idly against the hilt of his weapon as he watches the various accompanying mages weave all manner of spells against the unyielding stone exterior, each one more ineffective than the last. The use of magic is taking its deadly toll, and he's seen more than one be pulled away, rubbing uselessly at the spots of accumulated blot as the tower endures their attempts to uncover its secrets and grows all the more reticent for it.

"Perhaps we should simply knock and try the door once again?"

His exasperated attempt at humor falls flat over the heads of the wan and weary mages, and before he can raise his hands in mild supplication, he finds himself pushed by rather desperate hands to the very doorknob in question. And while he certainly meant his suggestion in jest, it isn't as if there's anything to lose by following through. Only, he needn't have wondered— the moment his hand folds around the knob and before he can even raise his other arm to knock, the stones surrounding the doorknob smoothly swing inwards as if greased, revealing the most unpredicted of sights to their wide and disbelieving eyes.

Before them, still and pliant on the stone floor as if a doll that had been tossed aside from play, lies of all things a boy. A human one, Lilia's keen gaze notes despite the dumbfounded surprise, with a shock of pale hair and strangely dressed too in what seems to be some kind of military uniform, one that Lilia certainly doesn't recognize; the garments are a gleaming obsidian, acid stripes of green lancing the fabric. All seems to be as pristine as if newly washed and pressed, no evidence in sight of the passage of time dusted upon the silent figure.

"Is he . . . dead?"

Lilia cannot fathom what possesses him to move so roughly past the other mages at that hushed observation despite their startled and disapproving cries, struck by a strange desire to prove the speaker otherwise despite all battle-hardened instincts screaming at him that something about this macabre scene is so terribly, woefully, wrong. But the moment that Lilia's gloved fingers brush against the boy's shoulder, he's met with a tired gaze of the brightest dawn and a yawned greeting that stills the blood in his already frozen heart, the young man stirring to life as he stretches idly as if falling asleep in strange appearing towers was simply a normal occurrence.

"Oh— it's you, Father. How long have I been asleep?"

[joyfuladorable]

< Prev Doodles | First Set of Doodles

Surprise, @redstringraven!! Guess who watched a playthrough of Horizon Forbidden West AND the DLC Burning Shores and Then proceeded to reread Pretend that I Never Left and draw Four More DOODLE PAGES!!!! To all the 2k3 Mikey fans out there, this is the fic for you!

[yingren]

dan heng rests his head against ren’s chest, absently listening to the steady thrum of his heart, the even rise and fall of his breathing. it should be comforting but as the inundating pleasure recedes and the pain disperses amongst the rising, sinuous curls of ren’s smoke, he finds the quiet almost disconcerting. “ what are you thinking about ?” His inquiry is softer than he intends it, almost swallowed by the cavernous chasm between them, focusing on the vacuity darkening ren’s gaze. often, their parting is reduced to nothing but a lingering glance and the thud of a door closing in finality, to remain this close in the aftermath of their fervent desire feels inherently dangerous. He lowers his head once more, for once not stiffening when those scarred fingers card roughly through his tousled hair. he’s uncertain he truly wants to know ren’s answer.

death, life, or something in between. ren can't quite pinpoint what he's thinking. he's not so much thinking as he is remembering, or perhaps reminiscing. the warmth beneath his fingers feels like silk, soft to the touch, wrapped in a cloud of cloudhymn that lingers in the air like morning dew. it’s a stark contrast to the dark thoughts that had consumed him before dan heng began to pull him back to reality. he inhales deeply, the smoke filling his lungs, and exhales slowly, watching it dissipate into the heavy air. 

if he closes his eyes, he can almost taste the smoke being replaced by the sharp, metallic taste of blood, bitter and lingering in his mouth. he coughs, the pain throbbing in his chest until it subsides. he remembers the sensation of teeth sinking back into his jaw, the brokenness of his body healing slowly, gradually, then suddenly all at once. he breaks apart, only to come back together again, piece by piece. each atom of his being finds its way back to its other half, and he returns to being whole once more, broken yet functioning, scarred yet unscathed. 

if his hand weren't tangled in long black hair, he would feel the snow in his palm, the biting cold of it melting against the warmth of his skin. he can never hold it for too long, it will always succumb to the heat of his body, ever eager to stitch itself back together. he dies, then lives, then dies again, the cycle never ceasing. 

if he couldn’t feel dan heng’s cheek pressed against his chest, his hot breath brushing against his scarred skin, he might find himself back in a place where the wind is cold and unrelenting, snow swirling around him, a harsh reminder of a time long gone. there, amidst the freezing ice and snow, he would lock eyes with the maker of his undoing. but that was centuries ago. he isn’t dying in a pile of snow, bile, and boiling blood anymore. 

ren shifts slightly, and the light weight on top of him shifts with him. the cigarette is nearing its end, much to ren’s dismay. he lets it rest between his fingers, the smoldering end glowing faintly. his voice, quiet and raspy, is a tired attempt to be present. in the back of his mind, he feels himself beginning to rise from the freezing snow. 

“ you. ” the belated answer is as honest as it can be, silent in a way that screams of momentary vulnerability.

if he could be honest just for once, he would choose to do it now.

“ i was thinking about you. ”

[pyrriax]

hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing

[monotone-artist]

just a few foster puppy pictures out of the hmm. 500 that i have

[id: nine photographs of various brown, floppy-eared puppies. first: top view where puppy is sitting down and looking up at the camera. second: sitting with his tongue out. third: laying down on her side with her head on my leg, looking straight at the camera.

fourth: laying down on her belly. fifth: sitting and leaning against me, his head quite close to the camera, which he's looking at. sixth: one puppy lays down while another rests her chin on his back.

seventh: an extremely close-up view of a puppy's face. eighth: a puppy, who notably has one blue eye, looks through the glass door. ninth: puppy stands on her hind legs, front paws on the glass door, looking inside. end id]

[impossible-rat-babies]

I s2g im gonna have to ng+ the ast quests bc there’s one line from leveva when u have a side conversation w her about how sharing aether with someone over extended time periods can have unintended side effects

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The Empire Wars

brutal YA dystopian fantasy, start of a duology

set in a future climate-ravaged world taken over by a white supremacist empire

a girl raised feral has to survive being hunted along with other foreigners and political enemies on a deadly magical island

and a princess of the Makari-African people newly married into the regime, intent on bringing it down if she can find a way

[crossbackpoke-check]

favourite tag novel, you said? well, i have a few but there are a couple i really love (i'm on anon bc this is a sideblog so i can't post links smh) but anyway:

the little juraj/arber locker room vid. you wrote it like a mix of domestic fluff/romcom and pointing out the size difference even though they're both pretty big guys?? be still my heart. also juraj gives off so many giant puppy vibes and i love him for it

the mcdrai moment after connor gets injured. i've only been in this fandom a short time but i already know mcdrai are pretty popular (one of the reasons i didn't pay much attention as i'm more of a rarepair girlie) but that set and your tags have actually gotten me invested in them?! like, the tenderness? and the way connor seems so stunned by it? plus the oilers video coach thirdwheeling in the bg hehe (anyway, i have a potential new ship thank you)

i'll stop now but if you ever see your tags added onto any rbs of mine (with credit ofc) that's because they're amazing and everyone else should see them too. (ps, i hope the change in your life goes smoothly for you and you feel better soon!)

- @softvikings

i had to just sit down and look at this ask for like. three hours i’m not even kidding and this response still does not convey how deeply touched i am 🥹😭 it’s going in a bulleted list because looking back at all of them made ME feel feral all over again

juraj/arber is such a sleeper pairing to me as in I forget that the montreal canadiens exist (sorry) and then i see everyone on their team and get activated (screaming about juraj paying arber back with dinner for PROTECTING HIM)

as someone who also initially had no mcdrai emotions (rip dylan strome i still love your narrative deeply) i think the experience is universal… they’re so deeply unhinged about each other that i can’t even put it into words but My God Are There Narrative Implications

kissing you (with consent) full on the mouth and blessing you to be in my tags any time you want!!!! peer review and collaboration at its finest 🥰💕🥹

[devilishdelights]

could not be mc because if i heard a voice speaking to me i’d just think it’s on me and my brain. like oh no i’m hallucinating voices again haha, makes sense since i’m in this stressful insane situation :)

and then at some other point when it does become unbearable and i realize it’s NOT me id just ask to move to purgatory hall. (would ask diavolo directly and give my reasoning as to why because lucifer is a dickhead and would say no simply because he can)

[mukuberry]

my eye is bloodshot and hurts to open when i wqs younger i used to fantasise about removing it adn wanted to do it sooo bad amd ever since i stopped my eye has done nothing but cause me problems. im starting to think 14yr old me had a point this eye is evil its always doing this shit

[depvotee]

I don't post much abt cyberpunk anymore but I do constantly think abt So Mi and Marid.