#ifallelsefails

[if-all-else-fails]

I cuddled with a man I know in his bed today for a few hours. We are friends. For all I know he is a good man. He was respectful and thoughtful with where he laid his hands. I went home feeling disgusting and like I needed to wipe his touch off of my body. I couldn't believe I let him touch me. I felt like I gave something intimate to someone who didn't deserve it.

I know he likes me romantically. He says he's okay with waiting for me to figure out how I feel and not deciding anything about our relationship yet. I hate how he makes me feel like a girl. I can't believe I let myself lay in his bed and offered myself up to him like that.

Something in my skin burns when someone tries to love me. When he's affectionate it makes my skin crawl. I know I have a cold heart. I know I'm not a loving person. He felt my heart beating hard and I said it's because I knew I needed to go home but I didn't want to leave. He giggled into my chest and kicked his feet jokingly. I didn't get it. I hate it so much when he's sweet to me. I can't handle when anyone is sweet to me.

I am a daughter of my family. I never wanted to step out of line. I never wanted to put myself in the spotlight. No matter how much I wanted to be with a girl I thanked everything that I liked men as well because I told myself I could love a man. And I can. At least, I thought I could. But I think the issue of the man inside of me trying to crawl out of my woman's skin is becoming more pressing than I thought. I don't want to be a woman and I don't want a man. I will never be wife. I don't know if forcing myself to be one will ever work.

I feel faulty and dysfunctional. I fear I need to be sent back to a factory for repairs or a hard reset.

I need a girl who is a man and I need someone to acknowledge me as a man who is a girl. I need to be freed from this cage of perception. I need to be freed from this cage of body.

Love should be easier than this. I wish the pain in my chest would subside but I don't know how to comfort her.

[eunhae-fanficrecs]

Title: at the end of the world, till the end of time

Author: ifallelsefails

Status: complete

Length: one shot (with a sequel) // 5K

Rating: pg13

Genre: romance, fluff, best friends to lovers, high school/college!AU

Warning: none

Summary: This is really not how Donghae imagined prom would be. His date’s a dick, the DJ is playing songs from God knows when, the supposed special performance of his favorite band is cancelled and it’s just the worst, worst night ever. Good thing his best friend is there to the rescue.

Admin’s note: the story was recently featured in AFF and i’m glad it was because i had forgotten about it and was so pleased to read it again. i don’t think you can make it more heart warming than this. there is also a sequel (chapter 2), i’ll rec it in another post since i feel they stand more like two different one-shots in the same ‘verse than a two-shot. 

[AFF]

[yablahblah]

This is where I tell you that I’m dropping out of school to become a full-time rapper 🤷🏻‍♀️ #halfkidding #ifallelsefails #planme (at Boston, Massachusetts)

[theoriginal-maijean]

@renu.nair thanks for putting some shine on my face as you can see I had a LOT of fun with it! It matches my personality! 🤣 #ifallelsefails #justaddglitter https://www.instagram.com/p/By_uuzRH3p0/?igshid=1u9rmteb7do98

[sleepysalmon]

Universal cure. _ #ifallelsefails #eatcake #toysofinstagram #toysagram #joeanddough #gulamelakacake #adviceoftheday https://www.instagram.com/p/BtOfA4hBjad/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=sh38xq3adkan

[margaridacadima]

Learning how to catch fish 🐟 #portugal #peniche #fishingtown #fisherman #learninghowtocatchfish #wannabefisherwoman #alternatecareeroption #ifallelsefails (at Peniche, Portugal)

[alyhollywood]

Lashes are love🎀 #actilabs #actiambassador #lashes #ifallelsefails #flutterlashes #workit #roughweek #longdays

[luminous404]

And you can go on thinking that you don't deserve to be loved. Because then I could go on and prove to you that you do. Because I love you.

Break Bad (ifallelsefails)

[i-always-hated-capes-blog]

On a side note I have a Go-Fund-Me to help me get through college this year!

Please check it out and share it! It’s been my dream since I was a kid to go to school, and any amount will help with supplies, food, and tuition.

[frawstakwa]

#hashtag hashtag this hashtag that hashtag everything put it on blast - put it on blast hashtag everything put it on blast —— topics themes concepts dreams props for your teams marketing schemes login please watch the screen browse the stream and drop a link - not to blink miss it in a split second stop and think - there has got be lots of things we forgot to read probably it’s a problem you see like why bother read sponsored post leads when the content stinks like toxic leaks pop culture politics rotten it reeks the type of smell that you try to wash out for weeks we might as well keep it funky fresh for the freaks #frawstakwaforyou that #LouOsiavo this is #THEWAYITIS #peace —— hashtag this hashtag that hashtag everything put it on blast - put it on blast hashtag everything put it on blast —— #goodmorningpost #coffeefirst #wokeuplikethis #sogoodthatithurts #startingmyday #solarburst #wordup #onewiththeuniverse #openmyeyes #somuchtolearn #mightaswelltry #thisismyturn #heywhynot #burnhollywoodburn #frawstakwaforyou #forsure #boom #puttinginwork #makingmoves #wheretosearch #goexplore #seetheworld #savetheearth #safereturn #tellthetale #wellpreserved #ifallelsefails #findthecure #youalreadyknow #somethingpure #alldayeveryday #bestdayever —— hashtag this hashtag that hashtag everything put it on blast - put it on blast hashtag everything put it on blast —— Listen here… https://musicoin.org/nav/track/0xe05a72a15049f08cfe2aa7566a895c793b9b7308 thanks for taking the time to check everything out here... you’ll find the links to mp3 downloads of the acapella stems for remixes... track 1... https://www.dropbox.com/s/uf0aryu4vaugf0b/%23hashtag%20%28put%20it%20on%20blast%29%20%23frawstakwapella%20100bpm%20track%201...mp3?dl=0 track 2... https://www.dropbox.com/s/jfgnip2yhif1eir/%23hashtag%20%28put%20it%20on%20blast%29%20%23frawstakwapella%20100bpm%20track%202...mp3?dl=0 track 3... https://www.dropbox.com/s/rdl7kuxstackk4w/%23hashtag%20%28put%20it%20on%20blast%29%20%23frawstakwapella%20100bpm%20track%203...mp3?dl=0 #musicoin #musicoinstorm #mcstorm (at Washington Heights, Manhattan)

[sinseer-music]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Sin Seer (@sinseer.music)

Our new digital single for “If All Else Fails” is now available for your listening pleasure! Pick your poison, der we mean music app, and download or stream our newest track and B-Side titled “No Such Thing”! More to come. Stay tuned! #ifallelsefails #digitalartist #digitalsingle #bandcamp #bandcamp2018 #bandcampmusic #soundcloudpromotion #soundcloudartist #soundcloudmusic #itunes #spotify #spotifyfree #spotifymusic #spotifyartist #freedownload #youtubechannel #youtubevideos (at 1090 Productions) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnePsUnnMPH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=17zenuhyu6hfq

[mariblossom76]

And so another day begins....lord give me strength and guard my tongue #overwhelmed #onestepatatime #ifallelsefails #bewithme

[intoxicatedpotatodalnim-blog]

EUNHAE RECOMMENDATION 102

Have a cup of tea while reading a good eunhae fic.

IFALLELSEFAILS Fanfiction

Make this feel like Home

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1037217/make-this-feel-like-home-eunhae-army-predebut-hurtandcomfort

LATCH

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1012282/latch-eunhae-fluff-enlistment

Where We Are (WE FOUND LOVE)

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/872149/where-we-are-we-found-love-eunhae

two of a kind

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/924165/two-of-a-kind-eunhae

At the end of the world till the end of the time

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/885333/at-the-end-of-the-world-till-the-end-of-time-eunhae

Break Bad

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/673008/break-bad-angst-eunhae

DOODLE 

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/503258/doo-dle-eunhae-drabble

And you’ve got that smile that could light up this whole town

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/660316/and-you-ve-got-a-smile-that-could-light-up-this-whole-town-eunhae

Deck The Halls

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/624524/deck-the-halls-eunhae

Remember the First Day 

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/499029/remember-the-first-day-eunhae

You will Always be a part of me 

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/492879/you-will-always-be-a-part-of-me-eunhae

Somewhere Between The Lines 

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/405488/somewhere-between-the-lines-eunhae

Pages 

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/396725/pages-eunhae

Tonight Is Just One Night 

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/385083/tonight-is-just-one-night-angst-donghae-eunhae-eunhyuk-romance

How do you heal a Broken heart 

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/285620/how-do-you-heal-a-broken-heart-donghae-eunhae-eunhyuk

PS: I love her fics so much. Her Aus are great. 

[lovemarnusbothablog]

If Monday fails, just drink... #mondaymadness #mondaymotivation #drinks #newweek #ifallelsefails #tumblr (at Die Pienk Huis)

[lenereedus-blog]

IF ALL ELSE FAILS

 Chapter 4 uploaded!! Click link below to read:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11782933/4/If-All-Else-Fails

If you haven't read/new reader please click bellow link:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11782933/1/If-All-Else-Fails

Comment/review/subcribe! 😊

"Do you believe in old-fashioned love?"

[undeadmachinery]

Go to Burger King. Get 10 crowns. Leave immediately. #IfAllElseFails