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the-whumpening · 6 months ago

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Re: Anonymous hate messages

[Image ID: Screenshot of an anonymous message sent to me, @the-whumpening. Several lines have been annotated by me with colored highlights. All text has been transcribed exactly as typed. The message reads:

i would not be protecting a (yellow) pedophile and incest supportor (/end yellow) but for each their own!:)))

(green) we do not claim (/end green) (blue) her. she (/end blue) (green) is not even doing "whump" at this point. (/end green) just plain (yellow) depraved pedoincest fantasy stories (/end yellow) while thinking (blue) she (/end blue) has (purple) one more personality every week. people do not need to see that, (/end purple) it is not okay. none of it is. (orange) maybe all those bans should have been a sign. /End Image ID]

As expected, I received my first ever hate message after talking about the situation with "antis" attacking whump community members. The "proship"/"anti-proship" debate has been around for fucking ages, and I'm personally sick of it, but I thought this would be a good teachable moment for any younger/less-internet-savvy folks here.

This ^ is trolling. Whether they believe everything they said or not, ultimately their goal was to rile up emotions and cause friction. Having been on the internet a good, long time (my main blog is from like 2009, y'all), I have seen my fair share of trolls. I've fallen for a few, too. It's inevitable. But to save your sanity and help you all deal with users like this, I've decided to share this message and break down the clues that told me it's not worth interacting with.

Yellow Highlights: What I've highlighted in yellow are the "scare words," I'll call them. They're flinging the most extreme, most obscene terms they can think of at the situation, even if it doesn't fit, because they're trying to scare me in to either complying or arguing. Nobody looks good if they're "arguing for" incest or pedophilia. They're setting up a no-win situation where my position looks absurd and unsupportable. Edit to add: my position, by the way, is that you can write/make whatever you want as long as you tag it appropriately and post it where it abides by the Terms of Service, which my friend did. I do not support censorship of any kind. I didn't think it needed to be said but I don't "support" real life pedophilia and incest, either. No one does, including my friend who was banned. That's a nonsense claim.

Blue Highlights: I referred to the specific user who got banned by his preferred pronouns in my original post. I exclusively used he/him, multiple times. By using she/her in this message, I know this user isn't arguing in good faith because either A) they didn't read my post clearly and think it's about someone else, or B) they're intentionally misgendering my friend. You cannot argue with someone who isn't approaching in good faith.

Green Highlights: This anon says that "we" don't claim the user I mentioned as a part of the whump community and that "[he's] not even doing "whump" anymore." Here we have a logical fallacy: that user doesn't belong here because they're "not a real whump writer." They've essentially made up a rule to exclude this person, and that justifies (to them) how that person was treated. (Who is "we," by the way? Anon is implying that they are aligned with the majority of the community, thus threatening to place me as an outsider.)

Purple Highlights: Blatantly ableist rhetoric towards someone who presumably has Dissociative Identity Disorder. As above, they're trying to justify why it's okay to bully and harass someone off the platform. "People do not need to see that." Nonsense. We don't exclude anyone from the community on the basis of their disability. Once again, Anon is not engaging in good faith.

Orange Highlight: Finally, their closing line feels like a threat. They claim that this user should have expected to be harassed, even that they deserved it. They imply that being banned/reported automatically implies guilt, regardless of the fact we know tumblr staff is less than charitable regarding bans--especially with queer and disabled users, and double especially anyone who posts any kind of remotely mature content (like your standard whump fare). We all remember waves of transfem users being banned out of the blue this year, as well as anyone sticking up for them. It happens all the time. I also mentioned in my original post that this user had been mass reported multiple times which led to his bans, which I think the gravity of is missed here. He was targeted, multiple times, by a ton of people falsely accusing him of breaking Terms of Service. Mass reports are rarely trustworthy, imho, and especially not if they happen to the same user multiple times. You know what most folks do if they don't like a person's content or behavior? They block them and move on. Maybe a single, accurate report if it seems necessary, but a reasonable person should never sic their followers on other users to mass report or harass. It's bad internet etiquette, and it has been for decades. The golden rule of the internet: if you don't like someone, block them and move on! If it sucks, HIT DA BRICKS!

And that's why I did not respond directly to this anonymous message. Nothing in its content gave me any indication that Anon and I could have a real conversation and gain an understanding of one another. I hope this helps some of you deal with any potential hateful messages you receive. The goal, above all, is to push you to an emotional high and make you have an angry outburst on them. That's what trolls feed off of. And if there's one thing being on the internet for longer than some of you have been alive has taught me: don't feed the trolls. Do not engage. Do not argue. Delete or block, and move on as much as possible. Turning off anonymous asks (or asks in general!) is always okay. Remember: you alone control your internet experience. You curate what you do and don't want to see and what kind of interactions you allow. Blocking is always an option. Turning off replies is always an option. Filtering tags is always okay. Be better than these folks, and remember you are in control of what you see and do--but you cannot control anyone else.

Side note: I did get a very lovely message from someone (who I will not name to prevent harassment) showing me support and being really kind, so that 1000% makes up for shitty messages like this.

#whumpblr #whump #writeblr #whump community #not whump #discourse

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enrosadiraanisaaa · 2 years ago

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Within Session .Part Three.

Hey there cuties, do not think I forgot about y'all! This fanfic consist of Yandere!Leon Kennedy. I intend for this fic to progressively become disturbing and fucked up with each chapter. While the first few chapters will be tamed, expect the following in this series:

~Stalking, Kidnapping, Forced Breeding, Degradation, NonCon, Gang Banging, Forced Pregnancy, Somnophilia, Blackmail, Manipulation, Abuse, Pet Names, Obsessive Behavior (Duh), Torture, Constraints, Mentions of Blood & Gore, Mental Degradation, Toxic Relationship, Sexual Abuse, Masturbation, Drugged & Drunk Sex, Loss of Virginity, Forced Penetration…

Also you will be retconned (Too bad 😏): Female Reader, 24 Years old and from Texas 💝

This story was purely written with RE 4 (Remake) Leon in mind. So no puppy dog Leon from RE2 or DILF Leon from later games & movies. The story takes place several months after the events of RE4. Yay, you’re in 2004!

I plan to make this series long and fleshed out, but I promise what you want will hit you like a train~🚂

This chapter does not contain any 🔞 material. This story will contain +18 content (NSFW) in the near future 🔞 If you’re a minor, please go read a real book or something, don’t cry to me when your mom finds your shit. This story will eventually hit that point so don’t set yourself up.

Summary

As an on sight therapist for STRATCOM in Nebraska, you’re tasked with providing quality therapy for US military personnel and government agents. After working at the headquarters for 6 months, Hunnigan recommends you to a notable government agent, Leon Kennedy, who is in need of therapy. After a number of sessions with you, Leon notices a substantial stability in his sanity yet is threatened when you are offered a position back home, closer to your family and friends. Your choice doesn’t sit well with one particular client, who can’t fathom you out of your role as his therapist. Leon has found a means of keeping his precious therapist and realizes you are the key to his permanent solace. You were obviously destined to be his in some form. Why dream of him letting you go?

A\N: I was heavily inspired by Satoshi Kon’s Perfect Blue 💙, ExploreVenus’s Something Permanent and Guardian Angel by NexysWorld. This chapter was oddly hard to write, especially writing out a session on a serious topic. Once I was writing, I kept writing so you might find this chapter to be long! Expect the next chapter to be out in two weeks!

Hope y'all enjoy the third part! More to come 💝~ Anisssa أنيسة

Here is Part One and Part Two of Within Session

Cleared Mirror

When Leon finally mentioned to Hunnigan his need for help, he did not expect immediate validation to improve his mental health. After the Raccoon City incident in 1998, the horrifying experiences that had cost him a normal life had embedded as an inevitable trauma. The grueling military training that followed after he was captured by the US government and forced to become a government agent to protect Sherry. The underlying hazing that he endured in boot camp tested his abilities and mental state beyond his capabilities, yet it was a period of time that distracted him. Then the recent mission to Spain to save the president’s daughter and his fight against Las Plagas of Los Illuminados seemed to weigh in after losing Luis and confronting Ada Wong after a number of years. His guilt was engulfing him at this point, so he looked forward to his first session with the referred therapist by Hunnigan.

However, when he did arrive at the office for the scheduled session at 5PM, he did not expect a young woman to be assigned his therapist. He noticed she was preoccupied with paperwork on her desk before he knocked on the doorway door to notify her that he had arrived. Once her awareness of him occurred, she stood up from her chair to greet him. Leon instantly notices her red attire with black heels, reminding him of a certain woman.

Without realizing it, Leon accidentally scrunches his face from the reminder. Even when you offer a seat on one of the chairs in front of your desk, a glare on his face remains for a moment. However, when Leon takes another glance at your face, he eases the features of his face, nearly dazed at the sight of your eyes and lips as you both sit across each other. For a moment he studies your facial features while you speak until a question from you returns him to reality. Leon blinks his eyes in realization and nods to the question, simply muttering,”Yes.”

His heart nearly flutters when you provide a reassuring smile while nodding your head,”That’s okay, let’s get started, Leon,” He hears you tell him.

By leaning over the chair, you reach over with one hand to retrieve paperwork clipped to a clipboard from the top of your desk. Leon patiently sits in silence across from you, curious of the next course of actions. With a swift flip of the papers attached to the clipboard, you reaffirm all the necessary documents before leaning over in the chair to hand the clipboard to Leon. Once Leon had the clipboard in his possession, he curiously skimmed through the pages while you spoke,” Alright Leon, we’re going to take the first 15 minutes to get through all this annoying intake paperwork. Essentially review HIPAA concerns, consent forms, and ethical guidelines. Afterwards, I will ask more questions regarding your background, then begin discussing your reasons for therapy and goals so we can formulate a treatment plan along our sessions. How does that sound?” You question him, provided with a gentle smile.

Leon follows with a head nod, content with the flow of the session.”Sounds good,” he immediately responds, eager to hear your voice more. Despite Leon never receiving treatment before, he was honestly impressed with your diligence.

With the reassurance from Leon, you proceed on explaining the following paperwork.”Also, please feel welcomed to ask me any questions, I want to ensure you’re not leaving here confused and that my skills are what you’re looking for in a therapist,” You sincerely express, shifting in the chair to cross your legs.

There were several questions that instantly came to Leon’s thoughts: ‘How old are you?’ and ‘Are you single?’

“The first page contains a HIPAA authorization form, basically entailing how your medical information is disclosed and your rights regarding your medical information…''You explain, leaning over the side of the chair again to snatch a pen from your desk. With the pen in hand, you lean over the chair to hand it to Leon,”So just write today’s date, your full name, date of birth, social security, check the boxes, and provide your signature. Please let me know if you have questions,” You breathe out, observing him as Leon fills out the worksheet in silence, hearing the scribbling of the pen on paper.

After a moment, Leon glances back up to you, signaling he was finished with signing this section of paperwork. In this moment, you provide a smile in reassurance,”Sweet, now we can continue to the next section, which is simply covering ethical guidelines between therapist and client. If you flip over to the next page, it will clarify all the different points. When you’re done reading, just sign at the bottom,” You advise him, sinking back into the chair as Leon flips and reviews the next page of ethical guidelines.

At this moment, several points mentioning friendship and gift exchange between client and therapist caught Leon’s attention. Therapists are legally required to maintain a professional relationship with their clients, thus can not accept gifts over a certain amount. Leon briefly glances at you, then instantly returns his sight to the paperwork on his lap. He would have to abide by these guidelines to receive treatment. With the pen in his hand, Leon inscribes his signature on the line at the bottom of the page along with writing the current date.

With all the paperwork finally reviewed and signed, this prompted you to clasp your hands together, instantly capturing Leon’s concentration from the paperwork on his lap up to you at the sudden noise,”Okay, we’re done with paperwork! You can set that on my desk, now we can finally get into why you’re here. I will ask a couple of questions, then you can tell me more about yourself, Leon,” You explain, your voice full of enthusiasm as you directly observe his blue orbs across the room. In response to your declaration, Leon nods his head.

By adjusting your throat, you then exhale before asking the first question: “Has your family or you have any history of substance abuse that is not limited to alcohol, illegal drugs, and abuse of medication?”

From across the room, you notice Leon shakes his head,”I am not sure about my family, but not me…”

To acknowledge him, you provide a subtle head nod to his response,”That’s okay if you don’t know. Another question: During your childhood, did you live any significant period of time with anyone other than your natural parents?” You question him, intently observing his expressions. Despite his file entailing he was an orphan, you needed more context.

There was a momentary pause from Leon at this question, his gaze elsewhere but you as he ponders this question. He then returns his gaze to you, nodding,” Yes. I was in the foster care system until I became 18 years of age. There was an incident in my family that I don’t have much recollection on…” He tries to clarify.

‘There was an incident?’ This thought comes to you, debating if this subject should be pressed on and explored. You veer your head to the clock on the wall, it was already 5:32PM. Session will be ending soon at 5:50PM and there is at least one important question left for Leon.

With another head nod, your lips form a smile to Leon,”We can explore that at another time if you like… My last question is: What has brought you to therapy and what goals do you want to accomplish?” To some, this inquiry might seem ridiculous, but this direct question was for clients to explore their reasoning to receive therapy.

An exasperated sigh escapes his mouth, tilting his head to the sides as it seemed he did not want to confess his sentiment. “Uh… I feel alone” He finally admits, his face expressionless.

“At what point in your life do you feel alone?” You inquired, keeping your tone serious to Leon’s response.

Over the span of his life, there were an absurd number of instances when he was abandoned by people. The initial example was during his childhood, when his family was massacred for unexplained reasons. He spent a considerate amount of years in the foster care system, unloved by blood. The girlfriend who broke off their relationship the night before he experienced the incident in Raccoon City. Hell, even when Claire Redfield deserted Sherry and him to search for her older brother after they barely survived that harrowing night together. Leon had to fend for Sherry when Claire had left them to the mercy of the US government. Then the infamous Ada Wong, who used him twice before vanishing without a trace. People were brief in his life, either from death or they left him.

Despite these prominent circumstances, how would he express some of these details without explaining an incident that was covered up and immensely classified. His hands and tongue were tied, he would have to brush over this portion of his life.

With several blink of his eyes, Leon considers other reasons for his lonesomeness. There was an uneasy feeling that swept over him due to the unsettling silence in the room. You were attentive for his answer.

“The nature of my job… I am too busy to involve myself in meaningful relationships,” Leon conjures, returning his gaze to those eyes that seemed too distant from him.

As Leon provides a response to your final question, you notice hesitation in his demeanor as if he is recollecting something traumatic. However, as a professional you can not dismiss his answer, but simply acknowledge him.

Since Leon was an agent of STRATCOM, no doubt that life threatening missions contributed to this sentiment. Similar among other agents and military personnel, coping with isolation and loneliness was common.

“Are there any particular aspects of your job that contribute to your feeling of loneliness?” You ask him in a sincere tone. With a quick glance at the clock on the wall, there were only a few minutes of session. Damm…

Leon noticed your glance to the clock on the wall, yet continued to speak,” People are temporary in my line of work…” He admits, noticing the hands of the clock were at 5:46pm.”Session is done already, huh?” Leon comments, returning his attention to you for confirmation.

A faint smile forms on your lips, nod slightly.”Unfortunately…but we can continue this subject next session..” You respond, standing from the chair to retrieve another clipboard from your desk, consisting of another signature page. “Before you leave, if I could get your signature. I did check your health insurance and it’s all good to go. They require a client signature to authorize that you received treatment today,” You inform him, offering the clipboard to him with both hands.

Leon stands from his seat, taking the clipboard with one hand while his other hand grasps the pen attached to the clipboard. After signing his signature at the bottom of the sheet, he returns the clipboard back into your possession with a faint smile on his lips.

You reciprocate the same faint smile on your face,”Alright Leon, it was a pleasure to meet you today. I really recommend writing any thoughts or topics you want to speak about in a small notebook for our sessions, that way you don’t forget… but other than that. You are free to go. I look forward to seeing you on Friday at 5PM. If you need to reach me for any reason, definitely reach me by email or my work number.” You mention, leaning on your desk.

With a nod from Leon, offering a cheeky grin,”Yes ma'am. I will see you on Friday then, stay warm...” He comments, noticeably glancing at your body up and down, implying your poor choice in your red attire. At those words, Leon turns around to exit your office, leaving you alone in silence.

This was definitely an interesting client, there was no doubt in Leon’s charisma and intellect.

#leon kennedy #yandere!leon kennedy #re4 leon #leon x fem reader #resident evil 4 remake #resident evil #within session #leon kennedy x reader #yandere!leon x reader #female reader

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lys-9-10 · 2 years ago

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Ch. 2 of In which Bokuto loves having sleepovers & "Deep Man Chats" (DMCs) with Akaashi

Read on AO3 Bokuto and Akaashi walked home from the restaurant together, Bokuto hanging off of Akaashi’s arm and chattering non-stop. As they neared the junction in the road where they needed to part ways, Akaashi drew to a halt and faced his friend.

“See you tomorrow,” he said. “Don’t stay up late watching anime, kay?”

Bokuto didn’t let go of his arm. “Can I come home with you instead?”

Akaashi frowned. He knew Bokuto was a sucker for sleepovers—said they were the optimal environment for “Deep Man Chats” (more commonly referred to as “DMCs”). And normally Akaashi wouldn’t hesitate to do anything that would make Bokuto happy. But if they were going to win again tomorrow, they both needed their rest.

“I dunno if that’s the best idea tonight, Bokuto-san. We shouldn’t be staying up late DMC-ing in the middle of the tournament.”

“We don’t have to stay up late!” Bokuto said, in the tone of a child bargaining with his parents. “We can go straight to bed, honest.”

Akaashi raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Well what’s the point of sleeping over then?”

Bokuto shrugged. “I’d just rather be with you than not.”

Akaashi felt something hitch in his chest—a sensation that was at once pleasurable and painful. He looked to the side for a moment, under the pretext of considering Bokuto’s proposal. But really, he just needed to break the eye-contact that was causing him to feel far too much.

Before he managed to summon a response, Bokuto stepped closer towards him. Akaashi had to stifle a gasp as the ace dropped his face into his shoulder and practically nuzzled him like a dog. A really cheerful, carefree, utterly oblivious dog.

“I’ll be good, Kaashi, I promise,” Bokuto mewled, his lips brushing against Akaashi’s collarbone. Akaashi positively bit his tongue.

After a couple breaths (he could only count the time in breaths, now that he felt Bokuto’s on his skin), Akaashi managed a strangled “Okay.”

Bokuto pulled back and beamed. Unfortunately, that didn’t help Akaashi regain his sanity. ------------

Akaashi began stripping the sheets of his bed, as Bokuto hovered over his shoulder.

“I can take the futon,” Bokuto said.

“Nope.”

Akaashi’s mother had raised all her children to have impeccable manners. One of the things they were taught was to always offer their guest the bed at sleepovers. Despite the many times Akaashi and Bokuto had done this sleepover thing, Bokuto always protested at this point.

“I don’t like sleeping in the bed when you’re on the floor. It makes me feel like you think I’m above you or something.”

“You are above me,” Akaashi said, wrapping the sheets up into a ball under his arm. “When you’re in the bed and I’m on the floor.”

Bokuto rolled his eyes. “Hardy, har, har.” Then he stepped closer to Akaashi, practically eliminating the distance between them. Standing on tiptoes, he pressed his nose to Akaashi’s forehead. “Technically, I’m above you always. By exactly three centimeters.”

Akaashi promptly pulled away. “Exactly,” he said, managing with considerable effort to keep his voice even. “So case closed.”

Bokuto’s grin faltered. Then, it transformed into a child-like pout. “Well you at least don’t have to change the sheets. It isn’t like I’m not used to your sweat or anything.”

Akaashi shrugged. “Fair. But I’m already halfway done.” He walked over to his laundry basket and dropped the bundled sheets in. “Returning were as tedious as go o’er.”

Bokuto blinked. “Did you just quote Bob Marley?”

Akaashi laughed, surprising himself with how joyful the sound was. (Bokuto could do that to him.)

“Shakespeare,” Akaashi corrected. “But good guess.”

Akaashi walked to his wardrobe and dug up some clothes for Bokuto to use as PJ’s. He tossed them at him and Bokuto looked right pleased with himself when he caught both the pants and shirt in one hand. Smiling privately, Akaaahi exited the room and closed the door behind him. He made his way to the linen closets to get a set of fresh sheets.

When he returned to the bedroom, he knocked.

“Come in!” Bokuto called cheerfully.

“Are you done changing?” Akaashi had learned the hard way that he needed to ask this, after being told to enter. Bokuto had no sense of modesty. Not around him anyway.

“Nope!”

There you go.

“Tell me when you are, please.”

“Okay!” A few beats. “I’m done!”

Akaashi entered.

Bokuto stood grinning at him, ankle bones sticking out from Akaashi’s sweat pants, arms swinging at his sides as though to amuse himself… There was nothing remarkable about the picture. It was just Bokuto. All the same, Akaashi felt such a surge of love towards his friend that he almost physically tipped forward with the momentum of it.

Bokuto held up both his hands, poised as though to catch a ball. “Send ’em here.”

Akaashi cocked his head, non-plussed. “What?”

“The sheets. I wanna do it.”

Akaashi looked down at the folded sheets under his arm. Then, mouth twitching in a smile, he chucked them towards the ace.

Bokuto caught them and busied himself making the bed. Akaashi watched in silence.

“Good job,” he said, when Bokuto was done.

Bokuto grinned. “Y’know I heard about these sheets for men that are made of this special material that needs to be washed less often? Cause like, guys don’t wash their sheets. Cool, right?”

Akaashi rolled his eyes and let out a small chuckle. “That’s disgusting. Also, a generalization. I wash my sheets.”

“Well yeah. Guys who aren’t you.” Bokuto paused, thoughtfully. “Or Kageyama. Oh and definitely Inarizaki’s captain. What’s his name again?”

“Kita.”

“Right. He definitely washes his sheets.”

Akaashi smiled. “I’m gonna get changed, okay?”

“Kay. I’ll set up the futon for ya.”

“Thank you.”

Akaashi grabbed his clothes and headed to the washroom. When he came back, Bokuto was sitting cross-legged in his bed.

“Kaashi?”

“Yeah?”

“If you could be an amphibian, what kind would you be?”

Akaashi shook his head. “No DMC’s tonight, remember?��

“Oh! Right. I’m sorry, I forgot.”

Akaashi walked to the light switch and paused with his hand over it. He allowed himself to enjoy one more look at Bokuto.

“Night, Kaashi,” Bokuto said. He was still sitting cross-legged on the bed, smiling like a child on his birthday.

“Goodnight, Bokuto.”

Akaashi turned off the light. He made his way to his futon in the dark and settled into it. Pulling the covers over himself, Akaashi rolled over and closed his eyes.

“Kaashi?” Bokuto’s voice called out after a few seconds.

Akaashi held back a sigh. He didn’t like reprimanding Bokuto, but they really needed to get their sleep for tomorrow.

“Yes, Bokuto?” he said, keeping his eyes closed and his back turned.

“I really did forget about the no DMC agreement. I didn’t mean to break my promise.”

Akaashi’s eyes flicked open.

Then, he smiled softly into the dark.

“Okay,” he said, shifting around to face Bokuto’s hazy form. “I believe you.”

“Night, Kaashi.”

“Goodnight, Bokuto.”

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#bokuaka #bokuto x akaashi #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fanfic #bokuto koutarou #akaashi keiji #akaashi x bokuto #pining akaashi

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tanadrin · 10 months ago

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I could, but it'd be kind of dumb to do so, wouldn't it?

...no? if we care about outcomes we have to actually look at outcomes to make sure our intuitions about these systems are correct. there are lots of systems where our intuitions turn out to be wrong--I remember argumate once positing that you couldn't build enough housing to reduce rent in big cities because of induced demand, and that has recently been shown to be outright false, because rapidly building housing in some U.S. cities has resulted in a significant decline in real rents.

That happened upthread with someone else and you quibbled with it on a fairly arbitrary ground, which you'll certainly be able to do with any example, as indeed one do with any example you might to cite to support your position.

I ask out of genuine curiosity, not because I want to knock down examples! Would also be happy for a citation for, I dunno, a political science paper surveying the question.

The Knesset is only one example, and it might be typical of dysfunction in PR systems, but it might not be--I think there are other weird things going on in the Knesset system, like the lack of electoral districts, that are uncommon in PR systems generally, and so might be contributing to the dysfunction there. But because government is complicated, more examples of the phenomenon would be helpful to establish the pattern.

And I think that is reason to be skeptical, sure, but you're setting up a mug's game here where you defend your preferred system on abstract theoretical grounds but insist critics defend theirs with illustrative case studies.

No? Of the handful of PR systems I am familiar with--Ireland (ish, they're multi-member districts with STV, but they still facilitate smaller parties; Wikipedia cites them as an example of a PR system, but IIRC you consider that system not PR?), Germany, and (to a much lesser degree) other European political systems, the thing you and others cite as a big problem with PR doesn't seem to come up all that often. The worst political deadlock caused by spoiler effects in politics that I am familiar with--the US and the UK--are both explicitly FPTP systems.

Now, I am not claiming to be familiar with a representative sample of electoral systems (as I think I said already), so my sample might be terribly biased, but if that's the case, I think it's on you, the advocate of the purported spoiler effect being a problem, to be able to corroborate your assertion!

there's no empiricism to speak of anywhere in voting-systems discourse

It's hard to run controlled experiments with complex real-world systems, but I think sanity checks based on multiple specific real-world examples are still important. If (sorry, not trying to pick on argumate here, it's just the example that came to mind) you make the blanket assertion "building housing can never result in a decline in real rents because of induced demand," and real rents decline in a city at the same time a lot of housing is being built or immediately after, that's an important counterargument.

Given that upthread you were all about the idea that this was an unreasonable concern even if it were true

Are you referring to this paragraph?

And I still think it’s an overreach to even call it a flaw. Close elections produce unstable majorities. It is known. Small parties typically can’t demand outsized concessions from big parties, but it’s reasonable to demand some concessions if you are propping up someone else’s majority. This is how representative government should work! Small parties participating in government means your vote is more likely to count even if your guys don’t win!

My point there is that "small parties getting nonzero contribution to the legislative program in exchange for the majority" is a democratic outcome that we shouldn't worry about. If small parties contribute to bad policy outcomes/unstable governments/other issues in these circumstances to a greater degree than kingmaker/spoiler effects in other electoral systems, that would be a reasonable concern.

And I want to move the conversation to the realm of specific real world examples precisely so we don't get lost in the weeds of debating abstractions/intuitions/models of how these systems work. A couple of strong counterexamples would be really clarifying, and help us avoid just fencing with our respective intuitions/implicit mathematical models. I asked for counterexamples because I genuinely assume that, if one opposes PR for outcome-based reasons, one has particular examples in mind that are the basis of that opinion.

If you like we can say the Knesset is one strong counterexample, but as I said, personally, I find it to be a weird one. So I would find it helpful to have another counterexample that was at least weird in a different way. Because it might be that "no electoral districts" or "easy ways of circumventing the minimum vote threshold rules" or some particular local feature of Israeli politics makes Israeli government uniquely unstable, and Israeli politics seems dramatically different to me than the politics in other countries with even remotely comparable electoral systems.

And given that I can point to one PR system without strong small-party/marginal representative spoiler effects (Germany) and one PR with them (Israel), and two non-PR systems with small-party/marginal-representative spoiler effects (the UK and the US, both of which happen to be FPTP; not counting Ireland in either category because of the categorical issue alluded to above) and none without them (which, to be clear, is not because I think FPTP or other non-PR systems are particularly unstable, but because I simply don't know much about politics in other countries that might use that system), if we are going to establish a pattern of PR systems as being especially prone to this effect then clearly more examples would be helpful.

Honestly, I *don't* want to mix things with proportional representation. I see proportional representation as an excellent way of increasing the importance of dealings between politicians and reducing the incentive effects of the voters. But in my ideal world I'll need to negotiate with people who do like proportional representation, and this system is a compromise I could get behind. Plus you can plug and play any three different electoral systems for different compromises.

First past the post is a bad, undemocratic electoral system. First past the post privileges large parties by making small ones unviable, and distorts the composition of parliaments by wasting votes. It can be gerrymandered in a way proportional representation cannot be. It produces highly unrepresentative outcomes. It is a bad electoral system! All good voting systems are to some degree inclined to more proportional results.

I've never heard the accusation that PR "increases the importance of dealings between politicians," but look. I don't know how else to put this. That is a stupid objection. Just absolutely boneheaded. You haven't thought about this at all, I reckon.

People hate on "politicians" as a generic class, but it's like hating on lawyers as a generic class. You need politicians. You want politicians. You want people whose specialized job it is to read legislation, fight about what should go in it, represent your interests, and come to balanced compromises about those interests. People percieve politics as messy, venal, and corrupt, and it can be all those things, but guess what? The alternative to career politicians is part-time citizens who don't know what the fuck they're doing, have no expertise in the legislative process, and therefore are at the mercy of lobbyists who can walk them like a dog because they're naive and inexperienced.

There's this especially (but not exclusively) American pathology that is a suspicion of government that works too well. This peculiar notion that if only we sabotage government a little bit it will keep tyranny in check and make politicians more honest... somehow. But filling government with random yahoos doesn't get you a noble collegium of Tocquevillian citizen-lawmakers, it gets you a pack of Marjorie Taylor Greens and Lauren Boberts. You know--morons. Americans will support all these ballot initiatives that fuck up government on purpose, like term-limiting legislators and keeping their salaries low so only rich people can afford to go into politics (and even then are only willing to do it as a stepping stone to other gigs), and vote for people who promise to make government work even worse by cutting the budget and lowering taxes, and then have the absolute gall to whine about how badly the government works. My fellow Americans, you did that on purpose.

(And there's this weird paradox where Americans all loathe Congress. Who keeps voting these creeps in? Well. You do. Congresscritters are generally pretty highly approved of by their own constituents. The stereotype of lazy, stupid, venal politicians always seems to apply to the other guys.)

And you will also note that since the abolition of things that used to facilitate deals between politicians in the U.S. congress--since the abolition of earmarks and chummy socials between congressmen and the post--generally, since the post-Gingrich upheaval in the House--it has gotten harder to pass even necessary, basic legislation, because it is harder to make the basic compromises necessary to keep government functioning. Having three separate legislatures that each can claim a different sort of democratic mandate isn't a recipe for good legislation, it's a recipe for paralysis and constitutional crisis.

#again: i do not claim to intimately know the politics of anywhere close to a representative sample of countries #i do not have any big historical surveys of electoral systems in my pocket either #so if anybody else does #or has any otherwise informative or helpful real-world data to add to the discussion #feel free to add it

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p-antomime · 3 years ago

Text

(un)lucky.

𖦹 minors don’t interact. | wc: 3,7K.

𖦹 content: hard dom!mikey, unprotected sex, knotting, slight voice kink, breeding kink, dub-con, breath play, a/b/o dynamic, marking, slight manhadle, mention of blood (but not blood kink), impregnation, mention of mindbreak, hair pulling, scratching, oral sex (f! receiving), feral!mikey (i feel the need to put this as a warning!).

𖦹 pairings: alpha!manjiro sano x omega!f!reader.

request. | tokyo rev. masterlist!

How did you get to this position?

No, more importantly, at what point did your clothes come off your body and hit the floor?

The first thing you could honestly remember was having a small, not very important discussion with Emma and Chifuyu about going to her place. And by place, reference is made to the Sano house. The initial idea was just to accompany your two friends on what should be something like a movie night, but just his presence and knowing that he would possibly be there irritated you.

It irritated you to the point where you felt the blood ache against your temples, throat go dry, hands sweat cold and heart beat a little faster as if it wanted to pierce your ribs. But it was not exactly hate, you'd rather think it was just simple despise because that's exactly what Manjiro Sano deserved for his behavior.

Not everyday, usual behavior. But rather, what he apparently chose for the most difficult days in the months of his mediocre life. Some girls you knew used to say that Mikey had probably been the most aggressive and uncontrolled alpha with whom they had been (un)lucky enough to sleep. This kind of information was noted in your memory as a way to avoid him, at least on the days that it came to your attention that he would be going through some rut.

Sano Manjiro was a problem you didn't want to have to deal with. But still, when Chifuyu said that "the three of you were just going to watch a quick little movie and then go meet Kazutora and Takemichi at the cafeteria", you believed him too soon. And it wasn't as if your blond friend had lied, quite the contrary: his idea really was just to watch a movie with you and Emma and maybe even Mikey.

If only he wasn't locked in his bedroom trying to get through a rut without anyone's seemingly unnecessary help. And this information only came to your attention when, almost half a block away from the Sano family home, an intense smell intoxicated your nostrils, corroded your brain from the inside and almost knocked you out, leaving your legs as weak as jelly and you needing to lean on one of Chifuyu's arms.

— Holy shit... — You spoke desperately, putting one hand over your nose as you felt your head start to spin and eyes begin to focus, get cloudy and slowly refocus and shivers traveled up your back in the shape of electric waves and landed around the middle of your legs like a starter motor of an arousal you neither wanted nor intended to feel.

— Emma, wait up! — Chifuyu exclaimed as he saw Emma continue walking unaware that you had stopped walking to pull yourself together, and Mikey's sister turned back suddenly before running to where you and that beta had stopped in the middle of the street.

— Damn it, Emma... — You gasped, taking a deep breath before letting go of Chifuyu's arm and straightening the posture, your hand still covering your nose, even though your sanity was already beginning to be eaten away. — I swear ... if that fucking smell is coming from him, I’ll kill you and... — Emma interrupted you by raising her hands as if in surrender.

— In my defense, I didn't even know his rut started today! Y’know that almost every week I sleep in the college dormitory and he and Shin stay at home, just the two of them. — She complained, looking from you to Chifuyu. — You... what the hell, Y/N, if you want to go home, we'll take you back. — You bit your lower lip weighing your options, and as you took a deep breath before answering, your mind had to cling to whatever self-control was left so that your eyes wouldn't roll up as more of the essence of a guy you despised entered your nostrils.

— I already stink of Mikey's scent anyway, now there's no point in going home. — You huffed, shaking the air around your face in an attempt to get some of that essence out and walked back side by side with Chifuyu and Emma until the three of you were standing in front of the Sano family home. — Just don't leave me alone with him.

The two of them nodded in agreement, but you didn't feel all that firm in their agreement since you were looking from Chifuyu to Emma and vice versa and neither of them were wanting to maintain much eye contact. "Cowards...", you thought before entering the house and walking straight into the living room where there were already several pillows, comforters and sheets spread out on the sofa bed present in the middle of the room.

— I'll make some popcorn, be right back! — Emma announced, leaving her coat on the sofa and going to the kitchen, taking Chifuyu with her to get soda, juice and other sweets that she had probably bought just for that night.

You've stared at the Netflix catalog open on the television since only God knows when with hands nervously groping the edges of the shorts glued to your thighs and brain trying to wiggle out and push away the thoughts racing through your mind.

Was Mikey in his room? If so, was he feeling pain? The same way you felt when you were experiencing heat with no one to help you relieve the burning desire inside your body?

You huffed because you found yourself worrying a little too much about how Manjiro could handle his own rut. He didn't deserve your pity, but you needed to somehow clear your thoughts and make your hands stop breaking out in a cold sweat. Maybe washing your face would help. Your eyes went to the staircase leading up to the other floor of the house and a heavy sigh escaped through your lips.

"All right, Y/N, you just need to... go to the bathroom upstairs, wash your face, and run back down here. Obviously you can do that, you're not a child anymore."

And that's how their feet found each other, walking up the stairs as fast as possible.

When you reached the top floor, eyes automatically fell on the ajar door of Mikey's room. You knew it was his because you had been to the Sano house several times in other months. But today it wasn't wide open as usual, you could only see a sliver of light slipping through the edges of the door. Your tongue passed slowly over lips, your brain making you think: "What if..."

Your head cocked back and forth. What if nothing. Don't jinx it, keep going to the bathroom to wash your face.

Your feet took you to the bathroom that was about two doors away from Mikey's room and the more seconds that passed before your fingers turned on the sink faucet, the faster your heart beat, the more tension tightened your muscles from the inside to the outside, the more the pit of your stomach seemed to clench in anticipation.

But anticipation for what exactly? For Manjiro to get his claws into you?

You let out a debauched laugh at your own thoughts. "Not in a million years."

Soon after washing your face and drying hands, you found yourself facing that hallway again that seemed even longer than before and your eyes eventually landed on the ajar door to Mikey's room. The gap now seemed a little wider, and deep down you knew that Manjiro was on the other side of that door just waiting to pull you in, if the alpha inside his brain was getting tired of having to deal with its own rut alone. You knew he could smell you.

And then, the door to his room opened so fast that not a blink of your eye could assimilate the moment when the figure of Mikey, with his light hair and dark eyes in perfect contrast, cheeks soaked with a redness you didn't usually see much and only a pair of sweatpants that didn't hide his boner very well, stood in the middle of that doorway.

— The fuck are you waiting for? — You blinked a few times, feeling his voice travel through every fiber of your body and into your brain as if it were some kind of antidote to any doubts you had previously had.

— W-What? — Your voice faltered and broke in the middle of the question and you felt pathetic in front of the alpha who just glanced at your body for a few seconds and then finished unlatching the door to walk with quick, almost desperate strides and grab your shirt collar with a firm grip before pulling you toward him to the point where your face was only inches away from his and you had to brace your hands against the walls of the hallway to avoid ending up with your lips on his prematurely.

— Don't play dumb with me, Y/N, not now. — His voice sounded even huskier and lower than before, his breath hitching against your cheeks, the smell radiating from his body making you have to mentally shout that Mikey was a problem you didn't want to have to take care of, and his eyes moving from yours to your mouth slowly. — Y'know I need to... — His face tilted in your direction and you tried to push your head back in the opposite direction. — This, from you, dammit.

— No, Mikey, I'm not going to become your little toy like... — The look on his face was enough to make you shut up and get legs shaking some more.

It wasn't as if you were seeing Sano Manjiro who laughed at your mean little jokes. It was a beast that was usually cooped up inside of him.

And the next thing you knew he was tangling his fingers in your hair and pulling your face against his to kiss you with an eagerness and gluttony that made you run out of air too fast.

Manjiro quickly hooked hands around your waist and pulled you, literally: pulled you, into his room before slamming the door. His lips were still on yours, tongue wanting to slide into your mouth and you tried not to return the kiss until you felt his palms slide down your back to reach the collar of your shirt again and start tearing the fabric.

The tatters of your shirt falling to the floor and the bed and being accompanied by your shorts that were not ripped by Mikey, but had the buttons popping open as they were forced open by his nimble fingers. And you didn't want to admit that it turned you on a little, more than you would allow yourself to say out loud.

Maybe it was the Omega inside your conscience burning to give yourself to Manjiro. Maybe the contempt trapped inside you was simply, in fact, pure tension or repressed sexual desire, since you and that Alpha now above you hungrily taking your lips looked like two magnets destined to end up pulling against each other.

It was only a matter of time before he managed to get hands on you.

Your fingers tangled in Mikey's soft hair not knowing whether they wanted to pull his face closer or push him away so that you could regain the air that had escaped your lungs. And just as his tongue managed to slide into your mouth and curl around yours, the sound of some more fabric being torn was heard and you, without having to look to be sure, knew it was your panties because seconds later a warm breeze was hitting your wet folds and newly exposed clit and making you moan against his lips.

His hands felt so warm traversing your body, squeezing your waist and doing the same to your breasts before placing themselves on your thighs and spreading your legs so far apart from each other it almost hurt. His lips parted from yours and a thin line of saliva connected the tip of your tongue to his in almost the same lewd way seconds later his mouth connected with your throbbing pussy as Manjiro slid down your body and felt the all too tempting sweet scent of your intimacy reach his nostrils and finish sweeping away any self-control present in his mind.

And he wanted so badly to take his time eating you out. Licking his lips on your juices and letting his eyes roll up every time you pulled his neatly cropped hair to force his face a little further between your legs. Exactly as you began to do as soon as the tip of his tongue brushed against your swollen clit and applied a little pressure there.

Your almost pathetic Omega body couldn't refuse everything an Alpha like Mikey could offer and make you feel, proof of which were the moans in the shape of "Manjiro" escaping your lips and the way your toes curled in a failed attempt to get some of the tension out of your body.

His room beginning to smell of sex and the essence of its owner. Of your future owner.

Mikey's cock was aching inside his sweatpants and it didn't take long for him to rise up with your juices dripping down his chin to get rid of those pants soon and finally release his shaft almost completely smeared with pre-cum.

"Fuck", was the first thing you thought as the alpha above you grabbed your legs to press them against your breasts in a typical mating press position and your eyes couldn't disengage from how his pink tip was leaking probably more than it would in a sexual situation out of a rut. Your brain struggling between the anticipation of wanting to feel him fully enlarging you and the fear of it hurting more than you expected.

— Mikey, I-fuck! W-Wait! Cannot-- — One of his hands hooked around your mouth to pull your body up until your eyes were directly facing his and, at the same time that this action of his made your stomach flutter even more in anticipation and your breathing quicken, the swollen tip of his cock pressed against your tight entrance and pressed there to start sliding into you.

— You will. — Manjiro spoke in something that was little more than a simple moan mixed into a feral growl and before he really finished penetrating you with his tip, his hips were already thrusting against yours to really widen your walls and finally make his dick fully enter your warm, soft interior until it was kissing your cervix. — Fuck-mhm! — Mikey's head fell back and a long, drawn-out moan escaped from deep in his throat and made you tighten around his shaft. — This, you, fuck. Exactly... ngh what I needed.

The hand that was once over your mouth fell to the middle of your neck in a firm grip that was eventually pressing you against the mattress of the messy bed, his cock beginning to move in and out of your tight pussy as if you were little more than a fleshlight at hand to be used and Manjiro's voice above you escaping through in the form of moans, grunts and the words "You," "tight".

And once he started thrusting harder and harder, with what gentleness he always possessed because he couldn't control himself properly, you could barely make up your mind whether what predominated your body was pain or pleasure. Your muscles were completely spasming and eyes could barely fix or focus on Mikey's sweaty and flushed face above you.

So this is what it felt like to lay with a guy, with an alpha like him? Being used like a ragdoll? To enjoy being treated like that? Goddammit, Manjiro was fucking out of your body any kind of spiteful attitude or contempt you tried to feel for him, putting you in exactly the only possible place you should have always been: beneath him, moaning like you were facing your own heat, with saliva dripping from the corners of the lips and eyes rolling up every time his cock kissed your cervix and his pelvic bone rubbed against your swollen clit.

Your eyes fell on Mikey's ajar lips that were letting out several moans and whimpers and you felt the shame burn inside your cheeks and make you tighten around his dick as you wondered how well they seemed to fit yours. Definitely, the alpha above your body, fucking you in mating press, was driving you completely insane. At what other point in your life had you even thought about wanting to kiss him?

However, he seemed to understand exactly what you wanted, needed. Even without you verbalizing it, even though his mind was too busy being consumed by pleasure and lack of self-control.

Seconds later, one of Manjiro's hands was tangling fingers in your hair and pulling your face up until his mouth was over yours in a heated, needy kiss. And the more time the two of you spent kissing, the more his hips seemed to apply force against yours; eventually the headboard of the bed was slamming against the wall forcefully and adding yet another repetitive, lewd sound to the symphony that until then had only consisted of your moans, the alpha's grunts and the sound of skin slapping against skin.

You could feel his dick pulsing against your walls, it was obvious that Mikey was dangerously close to cumming inside you, to filling you completely to the point of leaking, to fucking his little puppies into your womb, to knotting you. And just because of that, babbling and panting in the dumb, stupid format of "Please" and "D-Dont" began to drip from your lips at the same time that Manjiro's mouth slid from your lips and lodged itself on your neck in little bites that were sure to leave marks.

Your hand still hooked in his platinum hair, pulling it as if it were a small incentive for him to continue, for him to carry what he started to the end. Your hips forcing themselves against his.

Oh, marking you. Marking, marking, marking. The only thing besides knotting you present in Mikey's mind was this. He had the right to make you completely his, didn't he? Make you the only possible mom of his puppies, right?

Manjiro wrapped hands around your waist to keep your body still as he continued to pound inside you and then you felt probably the only sensation that you had never gotten to feel until then, during the times you had sex with other people who were Beta. Receiving the teeth of an alpha sinking into the curve of your neck hard enough to make little fillets and droplets of blood spring up and run down your shoulder.

He was literally marking you forever and instead of trying to push him away, as you would have done if you were in full consciousness, your hand simply forced his face a little deeper against your neck.

The spasms that coursed through your body because of Mikey's simple action made you clench massively around his cock and literally end up cumming with such intensity that you almost felt as if your eyesight was going completely blank and mind was almost giving out. The only thing holding you to consciousness was the sound of skin slapping against skin and the feel of his dick fucking you mercilessly.

And just after you had cum completely on his shaft, you felt Manjiro's base swell and become engorged just seconds before his hot cum was spurting straight into your womb and the veins around his dick were pulsing against your walls and making you moan his name out loud. The alpha's hot breath above you slapping against your marked neck and your hands sliding down his back to scratch them until they left welts behind. The feeling of being completely filled was mind-boggling, it almost made you end up cumming again.

Mikey's head falling back as he felt you drain practically every last drop of his fertile cream while several disconnected sounds escaped through his lips. "You", "fuck", "mine", "this".

And one of your hands going to grab hold of Manjiro's hair again to pull him into another kiss. You stupidly felt the need to have him kiss you again, as if it were a testament that the two of you were now each other's and maybe at the moment your mind didn't even realize the gravity of what it was like to be marked and knotted by Sano Manjiro.

As soon as the base of his cock began to deflate and it was possible for Mikey to slowly withdraw from your filled pussy, your head fell back to lean against the soft mattress of his bed and he propped his hands one on either side of your head to stared at your face as breathless as his own. You looked beautiful like that, beneath him, completely fucked up, with your body ruined, almost to the limit.

And this time it was he who resumed the kiss, his arms cradling you in an embrace that you didn't want to think was too affectionate not to end up liking Manjiro more than you wanted to. The panting breaths of the two of you gradually merging until you undid that temporary connection.

But from the hungry and lustful look still present on his face, it was obvious that soon his feral and brutal alpha persona would come back to dominate him again, and your stomach seemed to get butterflies again in anticipation of imagining it.

— I want it again, Mikey... — You spoke trying not to sound as needy or embarrassed as you really were and your eyes swore they saw a small sideways smile draw on his face. — There's no way you can run away from me after today, y’know that, don't you? — One of his hands slid up to grip your chin tightly.

— The only person who was trying to run away from anyone here was you. — Manjiro whispered, running his tongue over lips before sliding fingers to the mark left on the side of your neck as if it were a victory prize. — You're going to be such a good mommy to me, aren't you? If you can handle the next few hours with me I might just consider you my golden Omega. — You swallowed hard before again being drawn into a panting kiss.

ㅤ🏷 tagging: @festive @bontensucker @wakasa-wifey @dukina @manjiroscum @inu1gf @manjiken @rqnslut @manjirosdoll @satmitsuplanet @ravenina14 @saaraunicorn @eriskaitto .

#tokyo revengers smut #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev smut #tokyo revengers sano #sano manjiro x reader #sano manjiro smut #manjiro sano #mikey smut #mikey x reader #tw.dubcon #tw.breeding kink #tw.a/b/o #tw.knotting #tw.manhandling

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ekaterinatepes · 3 years ago

Text

Nothing But The Best

Author Notes: once again I apologize for how long this took to update. Schedule is still hectic and will remain so for the following month or so. But fear not. I shall continue to update at least once a week. Once again reblogs and comments are appreciated!

XVI

Our ability to survive depends on our skill to change and adapt. Everything in life is about transformation.

The drastic changes in your life seemed like a never ending avalanche of heart break and tough decisions… once again, transformation.

Your own choices placed you exactly where you were at, there was no one else to blame but yourself.

Satoru chose to remain in New York for another two weeks during which he had invested himself into re-discovering you (in his mind you never stopped being his. In the sanctuary of his thoughts you are always referred to as his wife, his one and only Mrs. Y/N Gojo. The woman of his life and owner of his heart).

Satoru tried a gentle approach with you. Not wanting to push you too far not to leave you alone all together. Using all his knowledge of your personality and preferences he slowly inserted himself in your life once again.

At 5:30am sharp he would meet you at the entrance of your building wearing his training clothes, he wanted to show you he supported you and your career. He would go for a run with you around the park. This, of course evoked memories of when you both first started dating and Satoru would show up to workout with you or take you out to dinner after training.

You got to know he had been working harder to help Yuuji control the curse inside him but it was a hard endeavor. He didn’t have to specifically verbalize it for you to know it was a loosing battle and he felt responsible for it but he was trying his best to find a way to help the boy. You missed the kids, they were like family. So you made sure to ask Satoru to tell them you missed them.

But despite your ex-husband’s best efforts you still wanted to be alone. You needed some clarity, the opportunity to sort out your feelings. Gojo wasn’t particularly thrilled with you pushing him away but he promised to you and himself that he would change and would do an effort to respect your wishes so he gave you your space.

But Satoru wasn’t stupid, he knew you missed Suguru and felt guilty for choosing your own husband (ex-husband) over your best friend.

And that’s why you kept pushing him away. Saying you needed time to think.

His time was running out, he had to return to Japan. At least for now, he had unavoidable responsibilities with his students as well as the rest of his missions. He went to your apartment the night before his flight and explained to you why he had to return but he also promised to come back to New York as soon as possible.

“It’s alright Satoru, I understand… I’m gonna be just fine” you reassured the sorcerer who didn’t look convinced at all about leaving you alone. “Please, at least answer my calls and messages. I’m gonna be worried sick if you don’t” you nodded and then he hugged you tightly, inhaling your intoxicating aroma as if he wanted to commit it to memory. His lips soon found yours and before either of you knew it you were in your bed ripping off each other’s clothes so you could express with your bodies how much exactly you would miss one another.

He had taken you for granted once, he would never make that same mistake.

-1 Week Later-

It had been three weeks since you last saw Suguru, he wouldn’t answer your calls, texts nor your emails. You didn’t even know if he was still in New York for that matter. Not knowing was slowly killing you, consumed by guilt you knew you deserved this treatment.

And yet, you wanted to find him and explain… try to make it up to him somehow. He didn’t deserve the pain you had inflicted upon him.

From: Kitten 🐱

To: Sugu

I need to talk to you, please give me a chance to explain. I don’t want to lose you Suguru. I know it’s selfish on my behalf but I can’t let you walk away without explaining. Please Suguru.

I miss you.

Another message sent, he wouldn’t answer your texts. At least he didn’t block your phone number. (Not yet, supplied your tortured mind)

The whole reason why you held back from actually having sex with Suguru although you both had wanted that very much during the last 6 months was because you wanted to give Geto everything. Not only half of you. He deserved someone who would chose him completely. At least that’s what you knew was right.

You didn’t want to toy with his emotions. Then again Satoru’s sporadic presence in your life didn’t help at all. Everytime he showed up you were back to the beginning.

There was no other way to explain this other than saying…you could never resist him.

It was a Monday evening, you just got home after your training at the academy. Sitting on the couch eating some salad when the doorbell rang. You were not expecting anyone. And most importantly someone who didn’t need to be announced by the guard downstairs. There were only two people who could show up at your door in such fashion.

When you opened the door the first thing you saw was a broad torso covered in a very familiar black fitted t-shirt. Long black hair framing a handsome face and those beautiful amber pools looking at you. Without hesitation you threw your arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Suguru responded to your embrace by surrounding your firmly in his arms lifting you a few inches from the floor.

His sweet lavender and sage scent welcomed your senses once more. It wasn’t until he dried the tears from your cheeks that you realized you had been crying.

“Yo..you are here… Suguru! I am so sorry! I-“ he stopped you by placing his right index finger upon your lips. “You don’t have to say anything. I am here because I have to tell you something important. Come Kitten, let us sit” he took your hand and guided you to the couch where as soon as you both sat next to one another you threw yourself into his arms once more making the raven haired sorcerer chuckle “I missed you too Kitten” he whispers against your h/c tresses.

“Listen…. I was angry… I was mad at you because I thought you would choose me and instead chose Satoru. But these past weeks without you, I have been a wreck to say the least and then I realized… I have always known you loved Satoru from the beginning and that never bothered me before.” Sighing he made a small pause before continuing “Granted… I do resent him for hurting you but I never expected you to completely loose your feelings for him.“ you were about to explain to him that you were trying to sort those feelings out but he interrupted you with a little kiss on your lips “let me finish Kitten” a tender smile spread across his lips making you blush again.

“I realized that I don’t want to renounce to you, I don’t want to give you up. Because there simply is no other person who I want to be with. No one can replace you. And you don’t have to choose between Satoru and me…. At least on my behalf I am ok with sharing you with him. I don’t want to lose you and I don’t want to put you in a position that only will hurt your heart.” Stroking your cheek softly Suguru leaned in and kissed your lips once more, just this time the exchange was sweeter and lasted longer. His tongue teased the entrance to your mouth before fully delving in to revel in your warmth and sweetness. Pulling back and looking into your eyes Geto assured you “I love you… and I want you to be happy. I am not going to make you choose because I don’t want to lose you Y/N”.

To say you were shocked to the core and touched beyond words was an understatement “Suguru… I don’t know what to say…” you start but Geto chuckled

“You don’t have to give me an answer right away.. I und—-“

You cut him by crushing your lips against his, kissing him throughly. Your legs straddled his waist immediately so you could feel his strong and warm body against yours. Was this man even real? I mean… Suguru Geto was a remarkable person but at this point you started questioning your own sanity. Did you make this man up in your imagination? Because you have never met someone sweeter, nor kinder nor more loving than him. And this was without counting all his very alluring physical attributes.

By the time you pulled back you were out of breath and so was he.

Now, the thing was… is this what you wanted? Did you want them both? Wasn’t it too greedy to have them both as lovers?

There was also the possibility Satoru would flat out reject the idea but… you didn’t want to choose between them. You…. Loved them both.

Before you could speak once more you ‘felt’ someone behind you stroking your back.

Almost jumping out of your skin you turned around to find Satoru in his usual jujutsu high uniform sans blindfold.

“You’re late…” Suguru comments as if he had been expecting his best friend to teleport right then.

“I know… Yaga was being a pain in the ass as per usual” added Satoru with a grin before taking a sit next to Suguru with the biggest shit eating grin you could imagine.

“So? Did she agree?” Questioned smirking and moving his hand to stroke your hair away from your neck while you still sat on Suguru’s lap.

“I am not sure… I think we broke her…” added Geto amusedly before chuckling and kissing your cheek.

“I know how to fix that!” Excitedly announced the white haired man. Cupping your face between his hands he pulled you in to kiss you deeply. His tongue voraciously licking the inside of your mouth and enticing you to kiss him back.

This was surreal…. Were you dreaming? You had to be dreaming or maybe you hit your head and now we’re in a coma. Yeah… you have to be hallucinating this.

When Satoru pulled back he laughed “Princess… don’t look so surprised… you must have known this would have happened sooner or later… Sug and I would never give you up and we know you wouldn’t pick one over the other either… and well, we didn’t want to give you the chance to pick neither…” they knew exactly how you were. Even before you knew it yourself. They just knew you would bolt and choose no one if that meant not hurting the other so they had to figure out a solution where all of you were happy.

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#jjk #gojo x you #gojo saturo x reader #jjkgojo #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo angst #jujustu kaisen #jjk suguru #gojo x female reader #gojo x y/n #getou #geto x reader #geto x y/n

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astrojoong · 4 years ago

Text

Bad Timing (18+)

Pairing Han Jisung x Reader

Genre Smut Fluff and some very mild Angst

Length 3.5k

Posted 05.07.2021

Masterlist

AN Ahhhh! its my first full fic! AND my first time ever writing smut! It’s a little rough but I tried my best. Let me know what you think!

Content Details Under The Cut

Content sub!jisung, dom!reader, gn!reader (theres no pronouns used and while i refer to it as a dick it could also be read as a strap-on) (i am afab so it was written from that perspective but it totally could be read as a real penis), pegging/anal, aftercare, overstimulation, some degradation, praise, dacryphilia, unsafe sex (there is no mention of a condom it can be inferred but just in case)

Jisung moaned around your fingers as he made eye contact with you in the mirror. His pupils were blown out, and his hair matted to his forehead with sweat. You could tell he was barely cognizant of the connection for the first few seconds, too fucked out to have his brain work properly.

“My poor, sweet baby.” you cooed into his ear, your arms wrapped around him, keeping his back pressed against your chest as you fucked up into him from your kneeling position. “Have I fucked you dumb?”

His eyes rolled back and he attempted to supply a response but between you mercilessly fucking up into him and your fingers pressing down on his tongue, all that was audible was a drool-filled groan.

“You poor thing.” You whispered in faux sympathy, your lips brushing against the shell of his ear. “I guess this is what you get for misbehaving, hmm?”

It had all started a few hours earlier when Jisung had decided to pick the worst day for a surprise visit.

You had been absolutely swamped with work for the past week and you were reaching your breaking point. Your nutrition, sleep schedule, and social life had all been sacrificed in order for you to meet deadlines. This was the end of the line in terms of your sanity and you cursed your past self for putting off the most stressful of the assignments until now when you were exhausted and irritable.

It was midafternoon and you found yourself sitting at your desk, listening to music and working on, or at least, attempting to work on, said assignment when a hand on your shoulder jolted you back to reality. You paused the music and peered up at Jisung.

He met your eyes with one of his signature smiles. His cheeks squishing upwards until his eyes were partially obscured, showing off his adorable, slightly crooked teeth. He quickly wrapped his arms around you pressing a quick peck to your cheek.

If this were any other day, this would be where you reciprocate his love, pushing aside your work to hug him back and go on to spend time together, giving him the attention he thrives on. Even if you were this busy, you normally would take the time to at least cuddle with him for an hour or two, or maybe take a break to order some food together. However, you had warned Jisung at the beginning of this hell that you would be swamped with work for the foreseeable future. Something that he said he understood and would respect.

You were unresponsive to his affection and he gave you a confused and slightly hurt look. You didn't want to hurt his feelings, but he had agreed to give you space until you were finished. After which you would reward him with all the snuggling and attention he desired. However, you were feeling exhausted and were pretty annoyed that he decided to go back on his previous agreement.

"Sungie, do I need to remind you that you agreed to give me time to finish my work?" Your tone was terser than you intended, but it thankfully didn't seem to affect the boy all that much.

“But baaaaaabe” he groaned, “you said you’d be done today!”

You rubbed your face, some of your irritation dissipating as you understood where the problem arose.

“No Ji, I said if all goes well I hoped I’d be done today. But clearly, it hasn’t.” You gesture to the state of your desk. Your laptop sits among a sea of paper, writing utensils, and mugs and glasses of varied fullness.

He pouts. "Well, it looks to me like you should take a break. Nobody produces their best work while worn out and sleep-deprived." He moved behind you, hands coming up to massage your shoulders in a soothing manner. "If you're not feeling well, it'll reflect in your work."

Deep down you knew he was right. He's always been your little happy pill with his innate ability to lift your spirits. It's one of the things you usually appreciate about him. Even so, your naturally stubborn instincts mixed with aggravation of not being finished with your work and the misunderstanding with Jisung was too much. His normally compelling points were no match.

You shrugged him off your shoulders and swiveled your chair around to face him."

"I don't have time for a break, I just need to power through, seriously."

He fixed you with a look that said he clearly didn't believe that but didn't say anything after that.

You sighed and turned back to your desk.

"Anyway, I'm sorry that you came all the way here just for me to still be busy but you should probably head out. I doubt that I'll be done anytime soon, and I don't think you'll have much fun sitting there and watching me work."

You weren't the only stubborn one in the relationship. If Jisung came all the way here, he'd be damned if he didn't get some quality time out of it. Plus he sorta hoped he'd be able to wear you down enough to get you to take your much-needed break.

"Nah, I've been banished for far too long." You turned to face him just in time to see him flop down on your bed dramatically. You rolled your eyes and tried to hide your smile at your primadonna of a boyfriend's antics as you watched him find a comfortable spot to curl up on your bed.

"I miss you far too much to leave now, and besides, just being around you is enough for me."

You don't know if he meant to lie, but lie he did. Clearly just being in your presence was far from enough.

It had been several hours since he had arrived and all he had done was distract you.

For one, he couldn't stop moving around, it was like he was too antsy. He was constantly shifting and readjusting, or, even worse, getting up to move around. He spent about half the time standing, half the time sitting (and when he was sitting he certainly wasn't sitting still), and the entire time sighing. In between his non-verbal pouting, he also mumbled his complaints under his breath, just quiet enough that you couldn't quite make them out, but you got the gist of what he was saying.

It took you a while to finally be able to ignore his antics, but you were finally on a roll. Inspiration and motivation had struck and you've made more progress in the past forty minutes than you have pretty much all day. So of course this is when the relative silence was finally broken.

"Babe, I think you should take a break, maybe eat some real food. We could order from that really good chicken place."

You stopped working. Disbelief at the audacity of his statement coursing through your veins. Looking back it may have been an overreaction but you were borderline furious with the boy now. You swiveled around to look at him.

"It's a shame we haven't ordered there in a while. Their chicken is so good and I've been craving it the past couple of days. Besides, I think a hot meal would really do you some good." He continued, oblivious to your reaction.

As you listened to his ramblings you controlled your expression and rose from the chair.

"Y'know babe, I'm really happy you decided to take a break, you need it! And you get to spend time with me and give me all that love that you've been depriving me of." He was barely trying to conceal the smirk both in his voice and on his face at his assumed victory. He was almost proud that he had decided to wear you down.

You made your way over to him with a smile on your face.

"I think you're right Ji, I should take a break."

"See! I knew you would see reason eventually."

Your smile hardens as your hand darts out to wrap around his throat. His expression immediately shifts from smug to shocked to needy in the blink of an eye. His eyes widen and his lips part ever so slightly, his face softening as he stares at you with a look that's somewhere between dazed and wanting.

"I should take a break, and spend some quality time with you, so I can teach you a goddamn lesson." You continually tightened your grip as you spoke, watching his eyes flutter as he attempted to focus on you.

You lift the hand not around your boyfriend's throat and stuck two fingers between his parted lips to rest on his tongue. He suppressed a moan and almost immediately began to swirl his tongue around your digits.

"Lesson number one. Learning how to shut the fuck up."

Which is how you ended up here, your fingers still in his mouth, although he was long past the point of being able to do much other than moan and drool around them, rather than suck on them. The hand that wasn’t preoccupied was wrapped around his waist, keeping his back pressed to your chest. The both of you were kneeling in front of the full-length mirror in your bedroom as you fucked up into him.

You watched in the mirror as he fell apart at your previous simulated sympathy. You knew he would react to you calling him baby. He always did. But you knew what would really get him.

“Just look at you princess-”

Jisung’s eyebrows furrowed even further at the pet name.

“Such a messy little slut for me.”

He moaned around your fingers.

The hand that had been on his waist crept up his torso before resuming its original place wrapped around his neck.

“My dirty,” you got closer to his ear “little,” your lips brushed against the shell of his ear “whore” you murmured before nipping his ear at the same time you tightened your grip on his neck.

It proved to be too much for the poor boy, as you knew it would, as he let out a high-pitched whine and teetered forward, landing on his hands. You followed him down, keeping your fingers in his mouth and continuing to fuck him. The hand that was around his neck found purchase on his hips, giving you more leverage.

Gazing into the mirror you saw just how gone he was. His pupils overtook the majority of his irises, his eyes were unfocused, his jaw was relaxed, allowing your fingers to part his lips and rest sloppily on his tongue. He had drool covering your hand and his lower face, wetting his lips and chin. His face twitched and he moaned with each slow but forceful thrust as he rocked forward onto your fingers.

You could tell he was starting to get close, he was having a hard time staying up. His arms threatening to give way and collapse.

“No cumming.”

His eyes flew up to meet yours in the reflection, desperate and pleading.

He was cute, sure, but you were not going to give in that quickly.

“No cumming until I give you permission, slut.”

You removed your fingers from his mouth, moving your hand to join the other on his hips, and straightening up, resting your weight back on your knees as you began to fuck him with renewed vigor.

This change in position allowed you access to his prostate, causing him to yelp and jolt as his arms collapsed. His cheek now smushed into the floor as he let out a continuous string of incoherent noises. If it weren’t for this position you'd’ve been able to see the tears that pricked his eyes.

As he mewled and shook, you decided you’d bestow a little mercy on the boy beneath you.

“If you beg, I’ll let you cum”

Immediately he let out a rapid-fire string of words that were mostly muffled by the floor. You caught a few broken pleas but the remainder was unintelligible.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t quite catch that. What were you trying to say?” the faux kindness in your tone was all but dripping from your words.

He lifted his head as much as he could to attempt to stutter out his attempt at begging.

“P-please pleasepleasepleaseplease I need to c-cum please” his voice broke with one particularly rough thrust “PLEASE, please, I’ll do a-anything, just let me cum .”

As he begged, a particularly nasty thought entered your head.

You sighed in resignation, concealing your true intent. “I guess that’ll do” you acquiesced.

Just as he starts to relax, finally having been given the go-ahead to enjoy himself, you remove yourself from him. This earns you a baffled whine and a devastated pout as Jisung looks back up at you in confusion.

You give him a playful smile. “I wanna see your pretty face when you cum Ji, you know I can’t resist watching you.”

He begins to get up, you place a hand on his sweat-slicked back to steady him and a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Plus my knees are killing me and I know yours can’t be much better off.” You explain as you stand. Jisung had already grabbed a towel and situated himself at the edge of the bed by the time you returned with the bottle of lube.

You applied more lube to yourself and Jisung who was clearly becoming impatient.

"Hurry up! I was so close!"

"I'm getting there princess, sheesh."

"Then fucking prove it!"

You leaned over him, roughly pushing back in, and swallowing his moan with a kiss.

"That good enough for you baby?" you murmured into his mouth.

As you pulled back you quickly realized that he was not kidding and was, in fact, incredibly close. You reached down to grab his dick with your thankfully lube-covered hands. It barely took a few strokes, you had leaned down to kiss him and felt him tense beneath you.

"I-I-I, I'm, I'm c-c-cumming!"

As you pulled back you realized that you were grateful for the switch in positions. Not only for your knees' sake but also because you adored watching Jisung fall apart in front of you. He was always gorgeous as he unraveled, head thrown back, eyebrows drawn together and his lips parted beautifully, coming together to create an absolutely sinful expression of pleasure.

You watched him convulse, his release painting his abdomen and his wails turning to whimpers as you helped him through his orgasm. You loved the noises he made nearly as much as his faces. And tonight, you were feeling a bit greedy.

Staring down at him, you could see his face turn to confusion and pain as he noticed that your dick had not left him nor had it stopped moving and neither had your hand.

He jerked and jolted with every thrust and his whimpers began to work back up to sobs. Pleasure turned to panic, his bewildered eyes meeting your smug face.

"Wh-why, ah, wh, please, please no, I c-can't, please, w-wait, n-n-no!"

Tears filled his eyes as he squirmed, attempting to get away from your touch. You knew if he were truly not ok he would've safeworded out instantly, but you knew just how much he secretly enjoyed this.

"Awww, Sungie, isn't this what you wanted? I'm just trying to give you what you wanted and now you're being ungrateful?" faux hurt flooded your words. "How disappointing." You tsked and shook your head at him as he writhed, unable to truly comprehend or respond to you.

You watched as pleasure began to overtake the pain. His cries began to fill with a different sort of desperation as he bucked up into your hand. He was already an incredibly sensitive boy so you weren't surprised when soon after he suddenly tensed and threw his head back as he came again. The few spurts of cum he produced mixing with the sweat, cum, and lube his dick was already covered in as you continued to help him through his orgasm.

Honestly, he shouldn't have been all that surprised when you didn't stop for a second time.

This time he wasn't even able to form pleas, far too overwhelmed with the sensations.

"Awwww, did baby think his punishment was over?" you cooed down at Jisung who was jolting and thrashing beneath you. "My silly baby. I think you owe me at least one more for your behaviour tonight hmm?"

He wailed in response, and you took that as affirmation. In his squirming, his hand darted out to hold your free one and you had to stop yourself from melting.

Just like the first time, the pleasure had returned to mix with the pain, and he was nearing his third and final orgasm of the night. You decided to make the final orgasm the most memorable. You had been focusing mostly on his dick while you lazily fucked him, but now, as he began to showcase the signs that he was close, you angled yourself up to nail his prostate.

His form was a study in desperation. You took in the sight before you: His head lolling, face covered in sweat, tears, and drool, lips panting, eyebrows drawn and eyes squeezed shut. His chest was heaving and it glistened with sweat. His abdomen was covered in lube, sweat, and cum. So was his dick, which was an angry red from the multiple orgasms, and you watched as it twitched in your hand, releasing a few pathetic spurts of semen.

You slow to a stop, releasing him and watching as he comes down from his high. You let him catch his breath before ever so slowly and gently pulling out. You hadn't realized that your hands were still connected until you had turned to go grab a towel and felt a sharp but weak yank on your hand.

Turning back, you saw Jisung staring back up at you. It's not difficult to know what he wants, so you return to your boy, putting off cleaning for a few extra seconds. Bringing up your intertwined fingers you kiss the back of his hand and smile down at him.

"You did such a good job baby. I'm so proud."

He blushes at the praise.

"Now... I have to ask. Did you learn your lesson?"

He rolls his eyes at you but nods.

You lean down, freeing your hand from his to gently cup his face and lightly brush your thumbs over his tear-stained cheeks before placing a delicate kiss on the apples of his cheeks.

He softly giggles at the sensation and you peer down at him, a clear question in your gaze.

Jisung turns away, clearly bashful and you realize what must be embarrassing him.

"Babe... did you seriously lose your voice?"

He croaks out the most pitiful sound in the form of a nearly unrecognizable 'no'.

You titter as you lean down and kiss his forehead.

"Aww, did I really fuck you that hard?"

He nods hurriedly before wrapping his arms around you and sticking his face into the crook of your neck.

"Hold on eager beaver, I gotta get you cleaned up before we cuddle."

After gently cleaning your boyfriend and supplying him with a glass of water, you grabbed clean boxers and a shirt for him. You got dressed in your own PJs before turning and helping him put on his boxers as you knew his legs were far too weak for him to easily get them on.

After getting you both all ready for bed you pull back the duvet and lay down in the middle of the bed. Jisung smiles and quickly assumes his position atop you. You pull the covers up and one arm around him, securing him in place, the other coming up to stroke his hair as he contentedly rests his head on your chest.

Looking down at the boy you smile.

"I am so incredibly proud of you. You're my little happy pill, and I adore getting to be with you. My sweet princess"

He makes a little noise of protest and snuggles his face further into your chest in an attempt to conceal his blush.

"I guess you kinda got your way anyway huh? I did end up taking a break to spend time with you."

You can feel him smile into your chest before turning his head to face you.

"I'm sorry for acting like a brat earlier." His voice is hoarse and it almost hurts you to hear him. "I should've understood how stressed you were and not pushed it."

You sigh at his apology.

"No, Ji it's ok, I really shouldn't have taken out my stress on you and you were right, I did need the break. So I guess we both were kinda in the wrong."

He stares up at you with a face that was filled with adoration, a look you were positive was mirrored on your face.

"I love you" He whispers.

"Ditto"

He lets out a petulant whine and you smile before giving in.

"I love you to the moon and back, baby."

He smiles and turns back to snuggle into your chest, already half asleep.

You smile contentedly, mind filled with adoration for the boy currently clinging to you like a koala, until sleep finally takes you too.

#skz smut #han jisung smut #skz x reader #han jisung x reader #sub!skz #sub!han jisung #dom!reader #sub!idol #skz x gn reader #reader insert #han x reader #han jisung x you #han jisung x y/n

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years ago

Note

why does jean warn up to mc so quickly? ikevamp makes it clear that jean is a pretty reserved person and doesn't open up or let people in easily but he seems to let mc in quite quickly and it confuses me quite a bit.

Oh boy, where to begin with this one.

Well, I have a lot of Feelings^TM about this, but I'll try to be concise. Essentially, I think Jeanne doesn't recover in the other routes--or the general storyline--largely because he's just a lot to unpack narratively speaking. And without some pretty direct intervention, he has a hard time healing. MC’s direct intervention was meaningful because it was focused, consistent, and adapted to Jeanne’s specific needs. She also doesn’t make light of his experiences which is key; she fully understands that she can’t fathom what he’s been through. There is a very weighty respect and acknowledgement, a seriousness with which she treats his wounds that’s important.

It’s easy to make this a “why is MC nOt LiKe ThE oThEr GiRlS” but honestly that’s just not the sense I get when I look at all the information available to us.

That being said, I also just feel like every person's recovery from traumatic events doesn't really look the same? I mean Leonardo’s cptsd isn’t going to operate the same way Jeanne’s wartime/Inquisition cptsd is going to operate. Some people require very individualized healing, others will often require a large scale group effort to lift them up.

Typically people don't ever just get over what happened to them and never worry about it again, either. It's usually a process of coping; the hope is that with time you find healthy ways to deal with grief and move forward. Therapists aren't magicians, they just help people process painful experiences/thoughts. It's honestly up to individuals to find meaningful ways to implement these tactics.

Tl; dr: My contention is that Jeanne doesn’t open up or choose to stay alive because MC magically heals him, rather his recovery is a convergence of many people’s efforts and hopes that he stays alive. Gilles (he insists that Jeanne must live, asks him to promise), MC (affirms and bolsters that promise), Comte (makes a second life and recovery possible)--and in no small measure Mozart and Napoleon--all make an active effort to buoy him. As people often say, it takes a village to raise a child.

While Jeanne seems to respond most powerfully to MC’s attempts, it feels more like a product of chemistry/compatibility than it does a random cop out. There is no insinuation that only romantic love can heal; after all, MC gets close to him without any romantic intentions at first. They’re just good friends? It’s more that their feelings simply moved in a different direction after a point, which doesn’t necessarily happen all the time. Jeanne is also incredibly moved by Mozart’s love for him as a friend, Comte’s love for him as a father, and even Gilles’ love as a comrade to an extent. If anything, without their input Jeanne’s capacity for romantic love would be questionable at best.

Now, because I can never for the life of me stop analyzing, I have a more large scale outline of my thoughts below. Spoilers for Jeanne’s route:

If we look at Jeanne's life history, he has pretty specific trauma. Most of the harm he endured was a direct result of human rights violations after the war itself. He didn't enjoy fighting and killing people, but he's also very much a man that sees the reality of his position: it's either kill or be killed. His entire goal was to defeat the enemy as efficiently as possible in the hopes of ending conflict, and with his enormous resolve turns the tide. He had no innate interest in inflicting harm, or lack of control when engaging. He isn't pathological about it, and doesn’t dehumanize the other side. He was more "this was an act of necessity, but those are still human beings." So as far as I can tell he has a very strong moral compass and sense of duty, he doesn't show much delusion/confusion in that regard. (Also evident in his conversations with the young orphan boy.) Furthermore, he has been shown to have a sense of humor--cracking jokes with Gilles and boosting morale for his fellow soldiers.

His childhood abandonment is significant (he left his home because he was "not an adequate farmhand and they had no ability to feed all their children") but I don't know if I would consider it a huge trauma point for him. It seems as though he deemed it an act of necessity--not spite. It was simply the way of things, and he couldn't help his wiry constitution. You'd be surprised how common that was once upon a time, tbh... While it's certainly not right or fair, it does appear that in his perception it was the choice he made and he moved on after he became a soldier. Just focusing on what he could do, rather than everything he lacked. For people in his position, they often feel it is useless to linger on what should have been. There’s no time to linger or doubt, life hangs in the balance.

That leaves us with his time under the Inquisition, just before he was slated to be burned alive. I think this is the keystone trauma point for him, because there are a lot of moving parts to his powerlessness here. The first part is that his entire life's mission--ending the war so that people would no longer have to die and/or starve as a result of senseless violence--was just sabotaged. All those years of doing things he never wanted to do (wartime violence) and being forced to leave his family to ensure they didn't all starve, all of it treated like some kind of joke. Like he didn't sacrifice years of his life and sanity to protect a people who were happy to call him a monster and watch him burn alive. The second part is the overt gaslighting and rewriting of Jeanne's personal history (and overall French public perception) for the sake of the King's political agenda. To call him a treasonous danger to the country when he was once lauded a hero. The third portion is the actual physical helplessness of being arrested, starved, and continuously maimed for no reason beyond pure malice. While it's never right to do that to any human being, this was done to a man who prided himself on his stalwart moral code. To abuse and torture him for something egregious that he would never do (at the risk of death) is just another slap in the face to everything he is and believes in.

I just feel like the context clarifies why that period of time would be the tipping point. His entire moral code and life’s work is being called into question and swept aside, as well as his agency? He believes very powerfully in a sense of right vs wrong, what's fair and what isn't fair. Somebody else deciding that for him--and deciding in a way that is openly unfair/incorrect--further makes him lose himself and his sense of reality. A person in that situation begins to doubt if they are good or bad. His belief in god all the more pressing; if he was a good person, why would fate bring him so much suffering? Honorable soldier or not, his blade has drawn so much blood...

People often reference his stilted social skills (and I am of the belief that he is on the autistic spectrum) as a reason why he is so "people-adverse" but tbh? I don't agree. His memories before the onset of this trauma reveal that he was actually a very warm person, and that people were more than willing to fight under his banner. He had friends, and he had comrades--his country loved him. He was the picture of well-meaning civic duty. Just because he doesn’t integrate smoothly into larger social groups or adapt well to socially shifting circumstances, doesn’t mean he just hates people lmao. When people give him the space to exist within his comfort zone and don’t take advantage of him, he thrives. Compounded by that, we also have his actions in the present to further prove what is true and what isn't.

While he is stern with the orphan boy (I'm sorry I can't remember his name, damn it) there is no malice or cruelty in what he has to say. He doesn't punish the kid or do anything out of line. It may not be fair in terms of the adult level of discretion he asks of him, but the kid also didn't have a lot of options realistically speaking lmao. Same thing with MC, she and the orphan boy are nearly identical in how Jeanne treats them. He's a little rough, but the route reveals that his intentions are just a reflection of what he's been through. He truly believes that if a person isn't strong, they won't survive--because his entire life was a series of trying to be strong/reliable because nobody else would. There was nobody to protect him, and nobody to care for him went things went south. It was him and his sword against the world, and even his exceptional skill as a fighter did not protect him from the Inquisition's arbitrary torture. He has lived in a world where good acts can become absolutely meaningless, where following rules and helping people still gets you slaughtered. That's going to take a considerable toll on his mental health: where do you find the will to go on when the next second of your life could mean the devastation of everything that matters to you?

Spoilers: you don't. Or if you do, every minute of the day is a fight to stay alive. That is the point at which we meet Jeanne. Caught in the hellish whirlpool of wanting more, wanting better--but being terrified of the cost. The cost of hoping, only for his entire world to go up in flames again. It's not a small thing, in my view.

If you have any doubts as to whether or not that is the case, I direct you to literally every singular instance in which Jeanne's emotional sensibility goes visibly dark/south. When do these instances happen? When it rains, for one. And when Shakespeare deliberately starts pressing on his sensitivities: about the soldiers he was forced to kill, about the nation that spurned him, how he's truly "wicked" at heart and doesn't deserve to be happy--seconds before flames erupt for the festival. Does that really sound coincidental? I mean lmao. The rain is a painful reminder, but MC transforms that memory into something a little lighter with her bet. He has nothing to lose in her game, all she does is ask for time with him or offers him something if she loses. There's a playfulness there, a restoration of agency and ease that's invaluable to his recovery.

As for Shakespeare's deliberate retraumatization...I can't even begin to explain how damaging that event was. Shakespeare is undermining Jeanne's agency in that he--not unlike the corrupt monarch of Jeanne's era--is twisting Jeanne's beliefs to work against him. He knows full well that Jeanne doesn't feel like he deserves somebody so bright and understanding (we need to remember it's not really a luxury he's had much in life, especially after the war ended). He knows Jeanne has a tendency to impose that strict moral code on himself even more than he does on others. To reaffirm his every worst fear and lurking terror only throws Jeanne into a vicious downspiral. Jeanne doesn't reject MC out of disgust or hate. He rejects her because he literally cannot handle the concept of trying to be happy again, or of burdening her with his constant struggle to move on while he’s in the middle of a bad episode. He knows he won’t be able to stop reliving the past, that every second of his life and breath will be colored by his gruesome memories. He's trying as hard as he can to keep the intrusive thoughts quiet, to move on. But I'm not going to lie to any of you, that is incredibly difficult to do alone.

The next obvious question is, well why can't the other men help him? This isn't to say that they can't--we see how much solace Jeanne finds in Napoleon and Mozart. Even Isaac is gentle with the veteran. But there are limits to how much they can do. Napoleon is struggling with his own wartime trauma, and it's not identical to Jeanne's. Plus there’s a distinct difference in their sensibilities? Napoleon is the type to habitually seek comfort in helping others when he can't help himself, he's not as in tune with answering his own personal feelings and regulating them. (I mean just look at his new ES: he knows what he wants, but it takes a nudge from Isaac for him to go through with it.) He’s very communally reliant in ways Jeanne isn’t; Jeanne is a very private person, and typically prefers one on one from what I can tell.

Mozart is the definition of repression, and if you look at their interactions it's usually Jeanne that's smoothing over Mozart's rough edges. Mozart says as much himself: that he feels like a rotten friend because he knew Jeanne was struggling with a lot of intense trauma, but he didn't know how to unravel it without hurting him in the process. Mozart calls it personal cowardice, but honestly I just feel like they both had too much going on to be able to help each other effectively. (And Jeanne expresses this sentiment too? This idea that he's not angry with Mozart? He knows they're both carrying a lot, he's just touched Mozart cares about him in return.)

Okay, briefly unrelated, but like. Am I the only one that wheezes uncontrollably when Mozart is like "?????? Idk what it is about MC...I don't want her to be scared of me..." in his own main story in the baths. And Jeanne. IS TRYING SO HARD. NOT TO SPILL THE BEANS ABOUT HIM O B V I O U S L Y BEING IN LOVE. THE HILARITY I CAN'T DO THIS. Jeanne was like "yeah....yeah that's rough buddy.......[screams internally, give your boy time Jeanne he's fragile]"

Honestly? That's the thing about Jeanne too--he has incredible self-awareness and hyperarousal-related (I mean the PTSD kind, get your head out of the gutter) awareness to the people around him. He's very, very conscious of the fact that he is surrounded by geniuses when he can't even write his own name. Just because he has the fortitude not to lash out with his insecurities, doesn't mean he never feels stupid or inferior. And it doesn't help when there are people in the mansion who call him--a fucking war veteran from 500 YEARS AGO--nAiVe. He's not naive lmao. He just doesn't know how the world works so many years later, and it's a ridiculously steep learning curve? Leonardo and Comte are nearly 500 years old, but they lived throughout every hour of that time in a linear fashion. It is a big deal to be moved from 1430 to 1890 in the span of a second asynchronously, and then be expected to function without a hitch??? Given the circumstances he adapts well.

That atmosphere--this constant impatience with what he doesn’t understand, his inability to be caught up to speed quickly--is going to hinder his recovery lmao. He feels like a burden most of the time, and agency and freedom are crucial.

Another thing that occurs to me about the mansion's arrangement is that there is a power dynamic, just as any space with people in it has some level of hierarchy (unless you live with miraculously chill people). Jeanne is acutely aware that Comte is the most powerful being in that space, and he is not only hatefully angry at him--but likely afraid too. We have to remember that the biggest betrayal he witnessed in his life was at the hands of a monarch; it was the aristocracy that turned on him and erased the truth. Comte is openly a child that resulted from both that era and that type of lineage, I don't really blame Jeanne for being wary. He intimately knows how willing rich people are to throw normal folks under the bus to suit their ambitions/whims. Comte, while not deliberately threatening, also seems to be painfully aware of this impression he gives off. His "chad persona" as I've mentioned allows him to navigate his life in secret by necessity, but it’s actively damaging to his son. He can't reveal the truth because of Vlad's betrayal, and he's openly unsettled by what it could mean to be honest. Will they wonder about Vlad and find themselves ensnared under his mind control as Charles and Shakespeare are? Will Comte himself be subjected to the mortifying ordeal of being known only to lose them?? That's a risk he isn't willing to take--and that leaves him in a double bind.

What is it that they say, the truth will set you free? This is where MC and Comte come into enormous play when it comes to Jeanne's recovery. One thing to keep in mind is that most of the people in the mansion have their own traumas they're trying to carry, and I feel like a lot of them are unsure how to approach Jeanne. Or if they do, he's very guarded. It takes a lot of consistent effort to get through to him. What does MC do when Jeanne unleashes his harsh worldview on her? She's understandably frightened, but Jeanne isn't malicious (so she chases him around). In fact, he openly avoids and runs away from her--well aware that what he's done is wrong. If anything, he did it on purpose, bringing us right back to Shakespeare's verbal undoing; why does Jeanne attack her in the first place?

LMAO. He attacks her because she essentially says "oh thanks for helping me!" "I am not nice. Watch yourself." "But you seem like a nice guy to me?" "REEEEEE" Does the pattern become a little clearer? When people think kindly of him, his instinct is to shatter that illusion with an impulsive reprehensible act. When people think poorly of him or lash out, what does he do? When that orphan boy starts yelling and screaming, Jeanne is nothing but calm. He explains the situation, and offers the kid a choice, perfectly happy to be the bearer of bad news. This operates on many levels I’m sure, but I have a feeling it has something to do with him being hailed a saint and a war hero only to be tortured and branded a monstrosity (and he probably thinks being a vampire is doubly monstrous). He’s more comfortable being hated because he feels it’s what he deserves in a lot of ways.

Jeanne has a lot of internalized self-hatred because of what he's done, and because of how much harm was inflicted on him outside of his control (he's Catholic and he was tortured, come on this writes itself). If I'm honest, I think that's actually the greater part of why he hates Comte lmao. Comte refuses the very concept of being cruel no matter how much Jeanne lashes out. Sure he lectures him and scolds him, but he never actively limits what's important to him or controls or harms him. Comte fully realizes the tragedy of how Jeanne's life was used by a nation in dire straits, and knows he needs time and acceptance to heal. No matter how dismal or unhappy, Comte doesn't stop--he fully believes Jeanne should have time in his life where he can really live for himself for once. But therein lies the issue, Jeanne doesn't know how to live for himself.

Which brings me to how MC and Comte "heal" Jeanne. I feel like they give him the space he needs to recover, and that's what results in his gentled temperament and happiness. Remember that so much of his main story is MC endlessly chasing after Jeanne. No amounts of his hissing or running or threatening stops her. Even if his refusals are empty of real dislike, they're enough to deter most people. Not MC. She's able to see through to the depths of who he is, and doesn't just use him for her own ends? She actively seeks to teach him (to read and write) to help him settle better in this era, she actively tries to ease his distaste for rain with a well-meaning bet, and she never gives up on him. (Actions mean so much more to him than words in general too, tbh...). Love is more easily defined by work and effort than it is by attraction.

When he has his episode at the festival, sure she's rattled; but that's because she truly believed that he didn't want to be around her anymore. When she notices he really doesn’t want to be followed, she stops like any normal person would. It’s only when she reads his notebook and sees the truth for herself (that he’s given up despite having the same feelings for her) that her determination is rekindled. She doesn't approach him fearfully, doesn't treat him like he's made of glass either. She just wants him as he is--accepts and loves him as he is. Scarred, bloody, exhausted, abrasive, terrified. She doesn't define him by how easy he is to love. That is a huge issue with traumatized people lmao. Because of their maturity, people always just assume they don't need help, or they rely on them to an extent that isn't sustainable. The second they reveal need or that they struggle, people walk away or victim blame them because it’s easier than taking them seriously.

While MC's attempts may be a little more obvious (cherishing his lily field, wearing the hair pin he gave her, careful about his gruesome injury, really listens when he talks about the horrors of his life and accepts that he experienced a level of agony/terror she can never understand, tries to express her feelings no matter his evasion) I think it's also important to consider Comte's large scale effort. I don't say this to undermine MC, I say it because Jeanne's life was defined by a complete lack of security. He left his parents to make their lives easier, he lived in a war that meant life or death any second, and his country's leader branded him a traitor which lead to his endless torture and public execution. Jeanne does not know a life in which safety is the norm. Point blank. He does not understanding going outside and not expecting the worst anymore.

Comte not only understands that level of despair, but treats it with dignity and respect. He fully accepts being hated if it means Jeanne can use that hatred to live on and find a way to heal. And most importantly, when Jeanne begins to move forward with MC and Mozart's help, Comte never once holds it against Jeanne when the truth is revealed. He's not angry, this isn't about reprisal or reparations or revenge. It's just love.

Jeanne doesn't really have a concept of this? His entire life was mostly transactional, defined by strength and efficiency. Nobody gives a damn about your feelings. You either hurl yourself at the problem or die. Nobody is going to help you or carry you or save you. While he may have had a little more support while he was in the military from his fellow soldiers, that support system was ripped away from him during the Inquisition.

One very common sentiment regarding elongated imprisonment and torture is that survival occurs in pairs. It is an undeniable fact that people need others to survive. It is the nature of who we are. Individualism has never proven to be successful, or if it is, its dividends are astronomically minimal when compared to people working together.

What does it mean to be the most reliable, steady person in the room? Usually it just means you don't know how to ask for help when you are no longer capable of maintaining that stance. Napoleon is guilty of it. Leonardo, Comte, and Jeanne all are too. It's part of why MC and Comte's capacity to see what he needs and provide as much as they can is such a big deal. That sort of consistent support (without a constant necessity to beg for help) allows Jeanne to be able to re-integrate into his new reality and find joy. Even if his nightmares and memories never go away, they are now being actively overrun by positive experiences. That's the thing about recovery, really--it tends to be more about drowning out the negative as much as possible and coming to terms with it, than it is about forgetting or never feeling it again. It’s about softening the sharp edges of pain like sea glass.

So is MC magical and randomly got Jeanne to open up? Nah, I don't think so. I think it was a series of persistence and real acceptance of who he is that made him warm up. People really seem to underestimate how deeply affecting understanding is, but that's how damage is undone. Jeanne can't really linger on the idea of his own monstrousness, his unworthiness, a lifetime of misery, when the person in front of him actively listens and cares about him. Makes him laugh and smile and lose himself in warmth for the first time.

If I'm honest, I feel like people also just...underestimate the level of traumatic resurgence that's perpetuated and inflicted by society’s standards in general lmao. This rhetorical structure in which good and bad exist in moral extremes, this idea that people should be able to recover and never experience relapses or periods of sensitivity. The refusal to radically listen to people and their problems, and make active attempts--not matter how small--to mend/ease those hurt feelings. Granted there will always be people in the world who do not want to improve, but I feel like most people want to. It's hopelessness, silence, and stigmatization that remain the true enemies of traumatized/mentally ill people everywhere. And among that population are always war veterans...

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp jean #ikevamp jeanne #ikevamp meta #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp comte #sorry i have a lot of feelings about this topic kjahsflkjhsjkghfd #but yes!#i think mc being able to help him was more about her sensibility and the mental fortitude/space to be able to care about him as he needed #i don't think it's necessarily that she's SpEcIaL #trauma is a sensitive subject--especially considering he's a war veteran #but i also think it's simple and complex at the same time #simple in the sense that people really do just need consistent support and love to be able to care for themselves again #complex in the sense that support can come in so many permutations and some of them are very delicate and multi-faceted #and thus must be handled with extreme caution in some regards #anywho not that i'm any kind of expert this is just what i understand and see #also in case it wasn't clear i love him and cry every day (look away comte it's my whoring hours)#though i hope this helps??? i went off harder than anticipated lakjhglkj #thank you for the ask!!! <3333 #asks #rambles #not incorrect quotes

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notsuchacleverboyq · 3 years ago

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This Scene Confuses Me

Since I was a child, my family enjoyed watching 007 movies (even if they used to stick more to the vintage versions of it).

So, I've never been new to this fandom nor to the general plot and everything that comes with it.

After becoming a fan on my own, my favourite 007 movies absolutely turned out to be Skyfall and Spectre.

More Skyfall, to be honest.

I was eight when it first came out, but I started questioning details (and getting obsessed over characters) only after nine years.

And it is my ability to overthinking that caused this shitty and useless post.

There are plenty of details that are worth a debate and I think that 90% of those are just how bloody lucky (and unlucky at the same time) Bond can be.

But today we'll be discussing about a specific scene, which involves Silva and 007.

What the hell is going on?!

This scene confuses me every time because I don't know what I'm supposed to get from all of the details in here.

The way Silva touches Bond, the way 007 reacts, their chat...the whole just doesn't make any sense to me.

1) Silva

Obviously, my queer brain jumped to conclusions: Silva is gay.

He does give off gay vibes, but it just seems random for a character like him to put up such a scene just for pleasure.

There must be something else.

This is the point in which I got lost under a comment section of another YouTube video.

I found out that there are three kinds of people:

Silva is gay;

Silva is trying to make Bond uncomfortable;

Both at the same time.

We've already clarified that we can agree on number 1.

What about number 2?

He has tied up Bond to a chair, he's basically undressing him and touching him in way too intimate spots, he's listing any of Bond's bad results from MI6 tests...

I think it might make sense for Silva to be doing anything he can to make 007 uncomfortable.

In that comment section, indeed, the most popular explanation was Silva hitting several weak spots at the same time, in order to open Bond like a can of tuna and leave him helpless.

Here are the things Silva tries:

He ties Bond to a chair: it's a detail that is so common in these movies that people don't even consider it. It is necessary for Silva to tie Bond, in order to prevent him from escaping; but when Silva unties him it is clear that he isn't worried about 007 at all. They're on a damn island where the only people are Silva and his men: it would be stupid to even try something on your own. It also was Silva's plan to be captured by MI6, since the beginning. Which leads to an only possible conclusion: 80% of the reasons why Bond was tied up was just to get him annoyed by it. It also connects to the following points;

Silva touching him: this is the part that made all of that confusing to my eyes. Being a former MI6 agent himself, Silva knows how double-0s work, think and act. That's they key of the whole scene. So he knew how 007 could have played it cool in any possible situation and that's why he tied him up. Double-0s can fake complicity even in the most horrible scenarios, but what if it is happening and they could do nothing about it? This was Silva's strategy: getting Bond in the position in which he can't switch from being a victim to being accomplice of it. Silva started running his fingers over 007's skin and scars, stopping on the weakest spots (such as the throat);

Silva attacking Bond's identity: it connects to point 2. This the moment in which Silva gets flirty, since I don't have a better way to call it. Someone's sexuality is part of their identity, so Silva attempts to overstep Bond's boundaries by violating both: his touch is intimate and gentle, despite the situation, his voice is soft and the gaze is too dary. But 007 quickly makes clear how he has no problem with all of that and how it isn't his "first time";

Silva attacks Bond's patriotism and loyalty to M: we well know how Silva has completely lost trust in M and it seems that, for a moment, he's trying to get Bond on his side. In my opinion, that's not completely true. At first impact, it's easy to miss it, but Silva attempts to get all of Bond's beliefs to falter. He firstly tries with M: he tells 007 about how disloyal and unfair the woman can be, reproaching him even how she has sent him on missions even after he failed all of the tests; then, Silva tries with England: he tells Bond about how the Country he still defends and believes in is already dead, fallen, and how useless it is to save it. Nothing of this works and it's misunderstood as an attempt to get 007 on the evil side, since Silva's lost trust both in England and M;

Sévérine: after all of the above didn't work, Silva is left with only one thing. We know know that Bond seduces Sévérine in Skyfall and then Silva finds out; so, he decides to put up a sadistic game to get rid of her and punish 007 at the same time. All of Silva hopes is that Bond got affectionate to the woman and he suffers as a result of the game. Eventually, Silva has to shoot Sévérine himself and Bond reacts as if he couldn't have cared less.

In conclusion, we can agree to point 2 as well.

So, yes: Silva might be gay and trying to make Bond uncomfortable at the same time.

Yet the most confusing part still needs to be discussed.

2) "What Makes You Think This Is My First Time?"

I have several questions, but the first is: what the hell does that mean?

He has already been in such a situation;

He has already slept with a man;

Let's consider the quote Silva's just said before James':

How you're trying to remember your training now.

What's the regulation to cover this?

Well, first time for everything. Yes?

Considering that Silva is trying to discard Bond's sanity, I guessed that he alludes to rape when he asks 007 what his training can do for that situation.

Double-0s are prepared to face anything and get out of it almost as nothing has happened. This might explain Silva's reference to the training.

Bond's reply suggests that he had already gone through that and could do it again if circumstances required it.

It all connects to Silva trying to make 007 uncomfortable through homosexuality.

It wouldn't be new that Bond, due to his job, has needed to seduce a man. We could expect such.

So he might fly over Silva's gender and sex.

I'm still really confused over this point and don't know what to think. But James being a rape survivor is somehow an underrated Headcanon and probable, considering his job.

If someone has different ideas and explanations they're all well accepted. Maybe we can end up to a conclusion that makes sense.

#007 #james bond #raoul silva #skyfall #what do you think?#what the hell #i'm confused

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asflametosmoke · 4 years ago

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james farrow analysis (+ oliver and richard as they relate to him)

so last night i stayed up until 2 am messaging with my friend about iwwv, and what is tumblr for if not posting your 2 am ramblings. (i’ve streamlined and expanded on them a bit.)

massive spoilers for the whole book under the cut.

(edit: i realize now that the cut doesn’t show up on mobile, sorry 😬)

part i - james farrow + heroism

james’s casting archetype is the hero/lover/prince, but he actually subverts tropes of traditional heroism/heroic characters.

he doesn’t really have classic heroic traits. he’s not really brave, he’s slight of build, he’s intelligent yet manipulative.

he doesn’t really fall in love with the ingenue, wren. he sleeps with her, but more than anything, he does it to make oliver jealous. and i didn’t read his protectiveness of her as something that comes from a place of romantic love. you’re welcome to disagree, of course, because that’s a bit ambiguous, but most of the squad is protective of wren. james isn’t unique there. we see oliver and even richard, in his own way, feeling protective towards her. it’s not really an indicator that he loved her.

he falls into the trope of the hero killing the tyrant (richard), but it’s not a heroic action when he does it. it’s not a noble slaying. it’s the desperate act of a cornered animal.

he has what you might call a “hero complex”, a need to save and protect everyone. but this backfires hugely. his need to protect wren leads to him going into the woods to find richard, which, as we know, ends up with richard dead in the lake. his need to save oliver (and his own guilt over not having been able to save him) leads to the deterioration of his mental state, even to the point where he feels the need to disappear.

part ii - james farrow + villainy [buckle up, this is a long one]

here’s where it gets interesting. there are a lot of moving parts here:

he says he wants more variety on his resume, to not play heroes and lovers and princes all the time.

in gwedolyn’s class, he says he immerses himself in every character he plays, but can’t always find himself again afterwards.

he gets cast as macbeth.

he gets cast as edmund, the villain in king lear.

over the course of acts iv and v, he goes slightly insane.

james’s casting in the role of macbeth is arguably the inciting incident. it’s the root cause of richard going off the rails. it’s also the first time he plays a villainous character (macbeth is the tragic hero, sure, but when i say “villain” i mean it in the moral sense), and it virtually intoxicates him.

being cast in the role of edmund is not, of course, the only thing wearing on his sanity throughout acts iv and v. but it doesn’t help either. he says, “i want to hurt the whole world.” ultimately, this stems from his trauma from killing richard, but it’s no coincidence that he got himself cast as edmund while in this state. he wants to hurt the whole world, as james, and by immersing himself in edmund, he finds rhyme and reason for it.

not only that, but it’s through edmund and lear in general, through the vessel of villainy and tragedy, that he’s the most honest before his confession. in act v, scene ii, he gets drunk and desperately tries to talk to oliver through lear. there’s a lot to unpack in this scene, but here are some of the highlights:

“they’ll have me whipp’d for speaking true; thou’lt have me whipped for lying, and sometimes i am whipp’d for holding my peace.”

i’ve never read lear, so i can’t contextualize this in the play, but it’s very relevant to james. he’ll be punished (sent to prison) for confessing, but oliver can’t take any more lies.

“‘where is the villain, edmund?’ i asked. he smiled crazily and echoed, ‘“where is the villain, edmund?” a pause for punctuation, yes? but not the playwright’s - commas belong to the compositors. “where is the villain edmund? here, sir, but trouble him not - his wits are gone.”’

james isn’t really talking about edmund here, of course. he’s talking about himself, calling himself a “villain” and admitting he’s gone more than a little crazy with guilt and fear (“his wits are gone.”) he thinks he can’t be saved. but his hero complex and archetype are still important here. he’s been deemed the hero for years, and now all of a sudden he’s committed murder. his complex, his need to save everyone that in part stems from the role he’s been given for his whole career, is at war with his new belief that he himself cannot be saved.

“‘no less than all - and more, much more. the time will bring it out!’ he wrenched his arm away and smoothed the front of his shirt, as if he were trying to wipe his hands clean. ‘some blood drawn on me would beget opinion / of my more fierce endeavor.’”

clearly, this is a reference to richard’s death. james knows he’s running out of time, and soon enough his secret will be revealed one way or another. it also shows his guilt: he’s trying to “wipe his hands clean”, presumably of figurative blood, and he thinks he deserves to be hurt for his “more fierce endeavor” e.g. killing richard.

part iii - james + richard + oliver + royalty

princes fall into james’s archetype along with heroes and lovers.

kings fall into richard’s archetype along with tyrants and conquerors.

in the woods, richard repeatedly calls james “little prince”, placing james “below” richard in both literal and figurative stature.

after james’s confession, oliver says “worthy prince, i know’t” to him onstage even though he’s supposed to say that line to camilo.

he’s reclaiming the word from richard, in a sense, and telling james that no matter what he’s done, he’s still a “worthy prince”. he means everything to oliver despite the fact that he’s a murderer, and despite the fact that he himself doesn’t believe he’s noble anymore (though he desperately wants to be). it’s quite literally a love language for oliver, and perhaps the closest he comes to a declaration of love.

part iv - james + richard + oliver + the water [this is also a long one]

richard wants to see james drowned, and oliver is the only one preventing this.

the first appearance of this motif is on halloween, when richard tries to drown james in the lake.

this foreshadows james’s eventual fate. whether or not he truly drowned in the end is, of course, a point of contention. for the purposes of this analysis, i won’t take a position on whether or not james is alive, and i will address it with the same ambiguity that canon gives it. however, regardless of whether or not james is alive by the end, it’s undeniable that he went under the water, and in a sense, it was richard that dragged him under. filippa says, “it was the guilt, oliver.” and once oliver isn’t there to comfort him, enable the two of them to forget richard for a little while, it’s only a matter of time before his guilt weighs him down so much that he feels the need to disappear from his own life. even if he’s not dead, he’s certainly not james farrow anymore, wherever he might be.

james reveals that richard kept pushing him towards the dock. it’s unclear if he really intended to drown james or even push him in the water, but it’s not unlikely that this was his intention.

in the dock scene (act iii, scene i), james tries to dive into the water to save richard’s life, and oliver stops him. but oliver goes into the water himself in that scene (to make sure richard’s dead before they call the police). this parallels how in the end, oliver will turn himself in and falsely confess to save james.

finally, there’s the epilogue. when filippa tells oliver “james is gone”, oliver sees richard’s ghost again. “there he sits, in lounging, leonine arrogance. he watches me with a razor-thin smile and i realize that this is it - the denouement, the counterstroke, the end-all he was waiting for. he lingers only long enough for me to see the gleam of triumph in his half-lidded eyes; then he, too, is gone.”

this is the confirmation: from oliver’s perspective, at least, richard has always, always wanted to drown james. it was certainly his intention at halloween. while to us, it’s unclear whether or not that was his intention at the dock, oliver believes it was. so he sees richard’s ghost again and gets a final confirmation of what he’s always believed. richard, as oliver sees him, is finally satisfied.

but we’re not done. how could i be, without addressing the pericles in the room?

disclaimer: i’ve never read pericles, so as with lear, i’m not going to contextualize the monologue contained in james’s “suicide note” in the play as a whole. that’s a separate analysis, albeit an interesting one i’m sure, for someone with more shakespeare knowledge than me. (although i have read caesar, so i might analyze iwwv and caesar some time in the future.)

“alas, the sea hath cast me on the rock / wash’d me from shore to shore, and left me breath / nothing to think on but ensuing death.”

right from the outset, we see that james might be alive. he’s been “wash’d [...] from shore to shore, and left [...] breath”. the water has transformed him (to use a christian metaphor, almost like a kind of baptism. i think. i’m Extremely jewish so i might be using that wrong.) but not necessarily killed him.

death consumes james’s thoughts, and it likely has since he killed richard seven years earlier.

“what i have been i have forgot to know; / but what i am, want teaches me to think on: / a man throng’d up with cold: my veins are chill, / and have no more of life than may suffice / to give my tongue that heat to ask your help; which if you shall refuse, when i am dead, / for that i am a man, pray see me buried.”

all the life has slowly been sucked out of him since he killed richard to the point where he’s little more than a shell of a man by 2004, so he decides to disappear into the water. again, whether or not he’s dead, he’s clearly not living the life of james farrow anymore, wherever he may be. so he’s disappeared. he may not be dead, but james farrow, the identity if not the man, did drown in that freezing water.

and yet, he has just enough of a will to live, just enough of a desire to be known (and perhaps loved) that he writes this note and puts oliver’s name on the envelope. he’s not ready to drown just yet. maybe the water didn’t care and drowned him anyway. but maybe, just maybe, it saved him.

part v - conclusion/author’s notes

if you stuck around all the way here, to the end, wow. thanks for suffering through my ramblings. seriously, thank you. and congratulations i guess.

i tried to write a tl;dr, i’m sorry, i failed. i know my strengths, and conciseness isn’t one of them.

i do wanna say this, though: james farrow is not a good person. neither is he a bad person. iwwv does not deal in moral absolutes, or really any absolutes at all. and i do feel like we as a reader base and fanbase don’t always do the best job at acknowledging james’s moral complexity. (or oliver’s, or meredith’s, but that’s another post for another time.) this is not a direct callout to anyone in particular, nor is it an attack. it’s really just meant to be food for thought.

#iwwv #if we were villains #iwwv spoilers #james farrow #oliver marks #richard stirling #analysis #tw suicide #tw drowning #tw death #tw murder #tw water

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talesfromcordonia · 4 years ago

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We need to talk about Robin

I posted this on Reddit back when TNA was being released and realised I’d never posted it here. A couple of things I need to add to this, this behaviour is just as bad if your Robin is female. End of. No discussion. I was playing my MC as into Sam and using Robin to make Sam jealous, so it’s not an issue of how you play the game either. Also I have nine accounts, I’ve done all the routes, this is his/her behaviour no matter how you respond to him/her. That all said here’s the post.

So let me say before I start off this post I find all of the characters have a lot of massive red flags but this is in particular a post about Robin because I see him/her being painted by some as a 'good guy' compared to Sam. For the sake of my sanity as Robin is male in my game I'm going to refer to the character as if they were male and as my MC is female I will do the same for her.

Robin is introduced in Chapter 3 and immediately starts hitting on the MC. Not only that you can tell he's enjoying that he's making Sam uncomfortable doing it. This is a red flag for a couple of reasons, the first MC is hired help and her employer is his brother. He's in a position of power over her by default here. Sam here is uncomfortable for reasons we all know why but he also clearly states that his brother often oversteps personal boundaries in scenarios like this, which means he doesn't seem to care where that line is, red flag part two.

In Chapter 4 we get to the office scene and Robin talks about his place in the family. There's some obvious tension about family issues and it's all fine until he basically asks her to get her clothes off for a little spilt drink. Again, this goes back to his position of power over her and the fact they're currently alone together in a room. She barely knows Robin and he's currently asking her to take her top off. If you have your MC do it, he'll crack a joke about how he was trying to get her to undress.

Chapter 5 we start at the office again, where MC gets caught with their top off. Robin lack of boundaries is very clear here when he doesn't care about how this could be seen by others. He also has no problem grabbing MC before she leaves, again a woman he barely knows. This is all to tell her that he'd love to use her to wind up his brother. Onto the party and again first thing he does is hit on MC. He shows little respect for her has a person in front of others and again reduces MC to a sexual object. This carries on with how he speaks to her at the bar, with him then deciding to kiss her on the cheek. No consent has been given at any point for that kind of physical contact. MC is clearly made uncomfortable (even if you had been flirting with Robin) because she immediately finds an excuse to get away. The boys are missing at the party and here Robin also doesn't seem to care, not about the boys being missing or the fact it's MC's job to take care of them. Then end of the chapter he again grabs MC, pulling her off Sam. They're two fully consenting adults and he decides that physically pulling MC and Sam apart is how to separate them.

Chapter 6 he says again he only pulled her away from Sam was again to wind his brother up. So he's quite happy to initiate unwanted physical action to annoy his brother. Onto the toast and his lack of boundaries show up again by using MC to basically disrupt the toast. This is just for his own amusement. Now MC is definitely not blameless here. She's definitely encouraging his behaviour but none of his behaviour is for her benefit, it's purely for his. Upon the rooftop he comes up an tries to make nice, while at the same time still reducing her to a sexual object. He goes from saying he'd never be so shallow as to sleep with someone hung up his brother to almost immediately telling her he thinks she'd be good in bed. Here we get another indication that Robin likes to go after vulnerable women when Sam walks in on them hugging.

Robin has just as many red flags as Sam. MC is being used as a pawn by Robin to get one over on his brother. Robin's not a good guy, he's a 'good guy™'.

So that's my thoughts on Robin. What are yours?

Now this post was written after Chapter 6 and before Chapter 10 where Robin shows more of his true colours and turns on MC.

#Robin Dalton #TNA #The Nanny Affair #PlayChoices #Choices Stories You Play #Just Some Thoughts

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prep4tomoro · 2 years ago

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The 10 Commandments of Survival:

The world is scary. At best, all we can do is to continue to learn to be self-reliant and independent to keep our sanity and ability to think rationally, and critically, under stress. These survival commandments were set down to help cope with the anxiety and sense of uncertainty about our future.

#1: Have the will to live, no matter what.

#2: Be self-sufficient and self-reliant, without wanting or needing excessive government assistance.

#3: Seek truth and knowledge (research) as a tool for solving problems.

#4: Adapt to the surroundings, wherever they may be. Embracing change as an adventure will reduce stress.

#5: Embrace decisiveness as a core value. Doing nothing, or procrastinating, is simply not acceptable.

#6: Channel fear into positive actions. Fear translates into submission which results in being controlled.

#7: Defend your right to freedom and the tenets of the US Constitution.

#8: Respect others and their right to privacy. The time will come when you will want them to respect yours.

#9: Pursue love and laughter on a daily basis. Embrace survival as essential, not consuming.

#10: Be authentic and real to yourself and to those around you. Don't be spoiled by life, deceit and lies.

Resource Link [Reference Link] Related Resources: Think S-U-R-V-I-V-A-L in an Emergency The 3-Lemon System for Evaluating Survival Risks Keep Morale High When Life Sucks S.T.O.P. when an emergency occurs Survival Rules of Three (3) Think Outside the Box for Emergencies and Survival The Will to Survive; Maintaining a Positive Mental Attitude Brain Prepping for Your Worst-Case Scenario

[11-Cs Basic Emergency Kit] [14-Point Emergency Preps Checklist] [Immediate Steps to Take When Disaster Strikes] [Learn to be More Self-Sufficient] [The Ultimate Preparation] [P4T Main Menu]

This blog is partially funded by Affiliate Program Links and Private Donations. Thank you for your support.

#commandments #prepper #survival #shtf #diy #survivalCommandments #commandments4survival #prepping #survivalist #survivalism #prepare4tomorrow

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alightbuthappypen · 4 years ago

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#ShowYourProcess

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

I was tagged by @milkcrates for the ‘Yanli visits the Burial Mounds’ piece. Please have a look at her process post and basically all her gorgeous art if you haven’t already.

I don’t follow all that many people and I think most have already done this, plus tumblr likes to hide people’s stuff from me, plus I’m really bad at remembering usernames and connecting them to creations, so I couldn’t come up with five (but I’m almost certainly going to have forgotten people so please don’t be offended, wow who knew tag games could be so anxiety-inducing) - but:

@heuheu-art for this piece

@sketchyscribbles for this piece

@shuang-hua for this piece

No obligation, of course!

1. Planning

I don’t tend to do a lot of pre-sketches, though it’s probably a habit I should get into. Instead I mull over scenarios/composition a lot in my head before putting anything down ‘on paper’. In this case I’d seen a lot of Yanli content on my dash for the birthday event, realised I’d never drawn her, and decided I wanted to. Then I went through a number of different ‘scenes’ before deciding on the most bittersweet, because that’s just who I am. I think I’d seen more than one commentary on how she had never met Yuan (but would love him), and that’s what stuck.

Originally I’d thought about something much more ambitious - more characters, I think I’d contemplated the Wen siblings and/or Lan Wangji being around at various points - but for the sake of my sanity I scaled it back, and I think it ultimately worked out better for it.

2. Creation

I do everything in Krita on a Cintiq 16, using the in-built brushes (a couple of pencil ones, and most often a pastel one for colour). I’ve only been drawing digitally for just over a year, after decades of using traditional media, so my methods are still very traditional with the additional perks of cleaner erasing, resizing, and having separate layers for line and colour.

The very first thing I think about before drawing a line is the colour palette. I try to keep this pretty limited, and always start with the background - sometimes I pick a colour to suit the scene location, sometimes the mood I’m going for, but mostly as in this case it’s a combination of the two.

My preference is actually to block out figures with a single flat colour first and then sketch over the top of it - I find this works best to get a sense of space and proportion as quickly as possible - but in this case the foreshortening and position of the figures made that difficult (ie. the silhouette of Yanli and Yuan is basically just a blob) so I went straight into the sketch:

I think this contributed to the proportional...issues I had, later on, but oh well.

I tend to look for references on the go, or make do with ones I’ve collected for previous drawings, and can be pretty lazy about it - for this one I had several references to hand of Xiao Zhan/Wei Wuxian in profile, so that was easy enough, but hardly any of Yanli. This meant her face got redrawn a lot - a lot - before I settled on something I was happy with.

The above is the final linework layer minus the colour layer. This went through some painful corrections, mainly of Yanli’s position and clothing, even after colouring. I’m very shy about showing WIPs to other people but this was the first piece I’ve actually asked for feedback on at the WIP stage, and I do think it really helped.

When the broad linework is done I put colour on a layer underneath: a fairly flat ‘wash’, followed by a second shade to mark out areas of shadow, then third for highlights.

(You can see some of the things I changed later after applying colour in the image above, RIP me)

Then I go back to the line layer and work up the detailed shading on there:

Lastly are final, sharper highlights with a pencil brush.

I tend not to mess around with image effects or any of that clever post-production stuff: maybe one day I’ll learn how to make images look their best when viewed on a screen, but today is not that day.

3. Posting

My worst habit is chucking a piece onto the internet immediately after finishing it (or thinking I’ve finished it) and then panicking hours, sometimes days later when I notice something I want to change. With this piece I vowed not to do that, and did manage to let it sit for 24 hours, allowing me to come at it with fresh eyes to fix various things before presenting it to the world.

Of course there are still things I think I could have done better when I look at it now, but I’m trying to see this as an ongoing learning experience so that the next piece will be better, rather than a reason for self-flagellation.

Anyway this is already way too long, so I’ll leave it there!

#showyourprocess #tag game #art process #my art

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bnha-more-like-bnh-gay · 4 years ago

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Todoroki needs love

Summary: Todoroki finding out that he likes cuddles and assembling his own makeshift family. Aka: I project my being touch startled onto Todoroki, with a side of found family! I hope you enjoy!!

Word count: 2,779

Side note: this is the first actual fanfic that I’m posting, so any thoughts and/or tips you have are always appreciated!!

Thank you, I hope you have a good day!

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Shouto had never really experienced positive touch. But that’s fine, that’s what he was used to: it’s what he expected. He didn’t associate physical contact with anything good. Even now, after his father’s “training sessions,” had ceased, Shouto didn’t understand the hype around hugs or physical contact of any kind. In fact, he made a point to avoid touching his peers outside of class.

He was fine with that. Then Izuku hugged him. It wasn’t long, and he was an awkward mess afterwards. Stuttering over an apology that didn’t need to be there, because, once again; he had shattered Shouto’s world. Why did this boy insist one breaking everything around him? His bones, Iida after Hosu, Stain’s hatred of all hero’s, their teachers sanity, Shouto’s resolve and ideals that he had known and held since early childhood.

So, instead of reacting, or saying, “it’s fine,” like a normal person would; Shouto stood there. Blanking out. Blue screening. Not computing. Shouto exe has stopped working.

Oh wait, Izuku was still talking.

“You’re fine.” Oh, he did it. Good for him. His mother would be proud.

He thinks.

“Ahh, are you sure?” Izuku had asked.

“… yes.” Midoriya had walked away after a while, leaving Shouto to stew in his inner turmoil… Again.

It was warm though. His heart felt,, odd. It hurt once he had pulled away. It felt empty, in a way that felt when his mother had been taken away from him. Which was silly. Midoriya pulling away from a hug shouldn’t feel like losing someone. It was a two-second-long hug. But losing it felt like being shoved in a bucket of ice water after his fathers training.

The second time it happened, it was Uraraka. Shouto had not been paying attention. He had been learning about memes, which he was now fluent in and enjoyed torturing his sperm donor with. It was ‘fire’ to watch his reaction (pun intended).

He had tripped over his own feet, which he thought was very fitting for a hero in training. But Uraraka had been there to help him. Also a concept that he was unuse to. People helping him. Without expecting a favor in return. Interesting. Either way, she had floated him.

“Sorry for using my quirk on you without your permission, but I think it’d be better than landing on your face!” She said, with a laugh, patting him on the back.

Not a hug, but yet another affectionate gesture.

“Todoroki? Are you okay?” She had asked, looking a bit confused he thought. Right, it was probably odd to stop dead after being shown affection. He should find a way to mask that.

“Fine.” He said. Then, “how are you?” She softened then. Yes, another point for Todoroki and the social interactions!

“I’m alright! Thank you for asking, Todoroki!” She smiled. “We should head to class, or Iida is going to be mad!” Yes, Iida was also learning social interaction. He thinks Midoriya is too. And Shinsou. At least he wasn’t alone in that. Maybe he should start a club. Maybe Mina, Kirishima, and Tsu could teach them about social interactions. They seemed fairly well adjusted.

“Todoroki? Are you coming?” Right.

“yes.”

The third time it had happened, Aoyama had gotten glitter all over him.

“Greeting, Monsieur!” He had said, throwing his arm around Todoroki’s shoulder.

Aoyama’s half hug was warm again. Not soft as Izuku’s hug, but not as casual as Uraraka’s pat on the back. He did it smoothly, and naturally. But it still felt so… New, to Shouto.

“Have you had one of Sato’s magnifique cupcakes?” He had asked, pulling away from Shouto and pulling him towards the dorm kitchen.

“No,” Shouto managed to choke out. Physical contact, it just… It stumped him. It was stifling in a way that he wouldn’t have expected. It was nothing like how his father would pat his back after he “succeeded,” after, he “finally realized his future,” or was did something “worthy of his masterpiece.” No, it was meant to be comforting. It wasn’t… Disadvantageous.

“Monsieur!” Aoyama gasped.

“Sorry?” Shouto guessed. Aoyama had laughed then.

“Non,” he said, shoving a cupcake into Shouto’s hand.

“Hey, Todoroki!” Sato said, waving at them. “I see Aoyama has roped you in to trying my cupcakes! I hope ya like ‘em!”

Shouto did indeed like them, and made sure to tell Sato as much.

As time went on, the physical affection continued. Shouto still flinched at it sometimes. And almost always bluescreened. But he had come to look forward to it. Izuku had hugged him a few more times. He had asked Shouto the next few times. Shouto had said yes, he hadn’t known what to expect, but he wasn’t used to saying ‘no.’ and he found that he looked forward to it. He didn’t like when the physical contact ended. So Izuku started to hold his hand. Almost constantly. Aoyama and Momo had also taken this up. Just small touches. Touches that made Shouto feel more grounded and in the moment.

The self-proclaimed, “Izucrew,” had formed towards the end of first year. Slowly adopting more people into it as time went on. First Tokoyami, Shinsou, Momo, Jirou, Mei, Monoma. Their first Christmas as a class, half the class had gotten Shouto piles of stuffed animals. Piles. Mina had insisted that they name them. Shouto had gone along with it readily. He now had a stuffed bear that he referred to as, “dad,” and several other plushies with various names.

He soon realized that the other members of the Izucrew had a lot of plushies as well.

It started one week when Tsu had been feeling homesick. Izuku had suggested gathering all their stuffed animals, and having a, “cuddle pile.” Which turned out to be less violent than Shouto had expected. They were not, in fact brawling, or wrestling, but literally just laying there with each other. It was soft. After a while, Uraraka had suggested that they build a blanket fort. He found out that no other members of the Izucrew, aside from Tsu, Uraraka, Monoma, and Aoyama had had sleepovers before. Izuku said that he had had one when he was three, but he didn’t remember much, so Shouto wasn’t sure if that counted or not.

They had made the blanket fort. Shouto thought it was… soft. And comforting. Like a weighted blanket. Not the stifling heaviness that he dreaded during school breaks. Warm in a way that Uraraka said was like cuddling up with hot chocolate during the winter. Or how Momo said drinking tea after waking up felt. Or how Kaminari said he felt while at the arcade with the self-proclaimed ‘kiricrew.’ Or how Sato said he felt whenever the class complimented his baking.

“Ooo, we should watch a movie!” Mei had exclaimed half way through the night. Iida was already dozing, but Tsu and most of the others had agreed.

“Horror or animated?” Shinsou had asked, from his position half under Monoma, with his head on Aoyama’s lap. Glitter making its way into his hair.

“We could to both!” Izuku suggested, his head resting on Shinsou’s chest, legs tangled with Mei and Shouto’s. “Horror first, then animated?” Momo nodded.

“That would be best! Just incase we get scared from the horror movie!” She said. Shouto agreed. He hadn’t seen many movies, but Kaminari had told him about one that sounded most unpleasant.

As it turned out, they had several horror movie connoisseurs in their group. Izuku, Shinsou, Monoma, Tsu, Jirou, Tokoyami, and Uraraka were the most emphatic about them, but no one seemed to dislike them.

And that’s how Shouto spent his night. Curled up amongst those he trusted. He trusted them. He let his guard down around them. He let them into his personal space. He had known them for hardly over a year. But he trusted them. More than he trusted most people. He would tell them about his past. He would share secrets with them, his aspirations, the real reason why he wanted to be a hero, all of the things he went through as a child. And they did the same with him.

Izuku shared that he got his quirk late, his past with Bakugou, how his father left him and his mother, how his mother never noticed when he came home bruised and burnt, smelling vaguely of caramel and smoke. Shinsou, Mei, and Monoma shared how they were bullied throughout middle school. Iida, Momo, Jirou, and Uraraka told them how much pressure they felt from their parents. Tokoyami and Aoyama admitted to their difficulties accepting their quirks. Tsu relinquished how fast she had to grow up and take care of her siblings. Shouto found that he related to a lot of their struggles.

“Todo and the rest of the Izucrew’ve been getting really close lately!” Mina had said, Watching Aoyama, Mei, and Jirou drag Todoroki and Monoma up to Momo’s room.

She had noticed how close their group seemed to get towards the end of first year. The whole class had gotten together a few times over the summer, and the group chat stayed active most days. She liked how close she was with the rest of her classmates. Apparently that happened after getting attacked by vllains multiple times, and going through severe trauma. She smiled, thinking how far they had all come.

At the beginning of first year, Todoroki hadn’t so much as said a word to any of them. Izuku couldn’t string a sentence together without stumbling over his own words and blushing like crazy. Monoma wouldn’t talk to them without making some sarcastic comment. Now, she had given Todoroki a number of hugs, some of which he had returned! Izuku started a couple conversations with her, and joined her dance club (she still joked with him about his blatant lie that he couldn’t dance. The fool). She had eaten lunch and had a conversation with Monoma, who’s sarcasm slights had turned into playful ribbings.

She was proud of her boys too of course: Ejirou and Sero had really gained some confidence in themselves and their quirks. Kami had gotten a lot more control over his quirk, working with their teachers, the support department, and Midori on ways to channel his quirk so that he didn’t short circuit. And she had also learned how to better use her acid. She, Izuku, Momo, Mei, and Shinsou had convinced Nezu to let them lead an anti-bullying and harassment seminar during the start of this year. So yeah, sufficed to say that she was proud of her class.

Sato had been happy to see how some of their more… troubled classmates had grown in the past few months. He had first noticed it when Aoyama practically shoved one of his cupcakes down Todoroki’s throat. The first time Sato had brought any of his baked goods to share with the class, Todoroki had refused to try any of them. Now, he not only taken one, but he had complimented Sato. He had even been convinced to bake with Sato! He was not good. But he tried, and that was good enough.

Ojirou hadn’t expected to end up being so close to his classmates. Sure, he had hoped to make friends, maybe even find a girlfriend. But he hadn’t thought that he would end up close to all of his peers, or to like all of his teachers. But there he was the week before school, excited to be back. He had never considered himself to be a teacher, or at least, never thougth that people would ask him to teach them anything. But a significant number of his classmates had asked him to work with them on hand-to-hand combat. He and Uraraka especially sparred quite often. Surprisingly enough, Shouto Todoroki had asked him to work on some close combat techniques.

Aizawa Shouta was not going soft. He wasn’t, okay?! He made a point not to get attached to his students, thank you very much. Turns out though, that it’s kind of hard to not get at least a little protective over them after going through so many villain attacks with children.

Something that Shouta still beat himself up over, was not noticing so many problems that his class so clearly faced. He had written off Midoriya and Bakugou’s relationship as a simple childhood rivalry.

After walking in on Midoriya having a panic attack, the boy had accidentally spilled the very important fact that he had only developed his quirk the day of the entrance exam, and that Bakugou had been his bully. He had thought that Kaminari simply, didn’t try very hard in school. After talking to Hisashi though, he had seen how smart Kaminari actually was. He had overlooked how predatory Mineta’s behavior had been. He had chopped up Todoroki’s behavior to simply being anti-social. After Midoriya and Hisashi had dropped a few hints that were about as subtle as a Mac Truck, he had paid closer attention, and oh kami if things didn’t make a lot more sense.

“Todoroki, stay after class.” He had stiffened up. Another mark for the worrisome column.

Midoriya had given him a calculating look. A look that he had only seen when Midoriya was assessing someones quirk. Well damn. He knew the kid was protective over his friends; but he was also incredibly respectful and borderline fearful of teachers (another thing he would need to look into). Shouta had stared back, and Mirodiya had given him a calculated nod. Kami, this kid was going to be another Nezu.

Todoroki had pulled his backpack onto his shoulders, giving Midoriya a short nod.

“We’ll be outside if you need.” Shouta had sighed. These freaking kids.

“Yes?” Todoroki had said tightly. Eyes darting to the exit.

“Todoroki, I’m going to be honest; your behavior is fairly worrisome, and I overlooked a lot of it.” Todoroki stiffened.

“How do you mean, sir?”

They had talked through next period. And most of the problem class was waiting outside the door when they had left. Shouto had sighed.

“I’m not writing all of you late slips.” He said.

“With all due respect, sir; we’re fine with that. We just wanted to be here in case Todoroki needed us.”

He wrote them all late slips.

He wasn’t going soft, dammit!

Shouto never expected to be close to anyone, certainly not during high school. His entire life had had tunnel vison: his hero career. That was all that mattered, all that had ever mattered, or would ever matter. But now, Shouto had a makeshift family. Dysfunctional and no matter how mismatched they all were, they were there for each other. They had each others back, they supported each other. They had game nights, movie nights, baking competitions (Sato judged), cookie decorating competitions, snowball fights, cuddle nights, group hugs, and more. And Shouto found that he enjoyed them. He didn’t at first.

He had been dragged to the first movie night by Momo.

“It’ll be good for you to socialize a little.” She said, after evicting him from the confines of his room.

He hadn’t said anything to that. But after, Kaminari had handed him a hot chocolate, with the explanation that they were going to watch a horror movie, followed of course, by cartoons.

“Can I leave now?” He had asked. Kaminari frowned. Oh no, he hadn’t meant for that to happen.

“Not a fan of horror movies eh? We can find something else to watch if ya want!” That was… Odd. They cared about his feelings?

“I don’t know.”

“What’d’ya mean?”

“I’ve never seen any horror movies.” Kaminari’s eyes widened in shock. Was that bad?

“Well now you have to stay!!!” He exclaimed. “TODO HASN’T SEEN ANY HORROR MOVIES!” Cries rippled through the gaggle of teens.

“Well let’s make this the best horror movie marathon for Todobro then!”

Kirishima was an interesting character, Shouto thought. He was fairly persistent in his stringent interest in what was, “manly.” Shouto wondered if most people had these fixations. Midoriya had analyzing quirks, Jirou had music, Koda had animals, Sato had baking, Ojirou had karate, Ashido had dance, and so on.

Shouto came to realize that he did indeed like horror movies. He also liked the pre-quirk televisions show, “Kim Possible.”

“Shouto, the crew are having another cuddle pile in Iida’s room. Let’s go, yeah?” Shinsou asked, as Todoroki left the locker rooms. Todoroki nodded.

“Yes, do we need to bring snacks?” He asked. Shinsou smirked.

“Hell yeah!”

Shouto liked his class. He liked being able to trust his friends. He liked having friends. And he really liked cuddle piles.

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mysteriouslytransparentwitch · 4 years ago

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5 unexpected exercises to regain self-esteem (it's a translation)

Self-esteem ... a bit of a fuzzy psychological concept for most of us. Yet we are all aware that low self-esteem can have devastating consequences in our lives.

Something not to be taken lightly then ...

Especially since it can directly impact your eating habits.

Are there solutions to increase your self-esteem?

Fortunately, the answer is "Yes"!

In this article, discover 5 easy (and rather unexpected) exercises to regain self-esteem.

If you tend to devalue yourself, then trust me, these exercises are a must!

A word of advice ... stick with it until the end because I will offer you a recognized test to assess your level of self-esteem at the end of this article.

This will allow you to know where you are and also to re-evaluate yourself shortly after performing the exercises regularly.

Pin it What is self-esteem? According to Wikipedia, self-esteem is "a term for the judgment or assessment made of an individual in relation to their own worth. ”

In other words, self-esteem refers to "how we see ourselves, how we assess our worth".

When we talk about self-esteem, we are therefore talking about the look and value judgment that we have on ourselves (and which does not necessarily have to do with the skills that we may have. ).

When self-esteem is positive, it allows you to:

➖ Feel good about yourself,

➖ Face the difficulties and trials of life,

➖ Take control over your actions.

You feel capable of accomplishing your goals and getting through to your projects.

You are determined!

A bit like putting on a super heroine costume ...

You are ready to challenge all obstacles!

Whereas negative self-esteem makes it really very difficult to take action and accept your mistakes.

You feel helpless in the face of events in your life. Demotivation sets in ... You feel incapable, weak, basically completely zero ...

As you can see, self-esteem is inextricably linked with the assessment of one's own skills.

If she is weak and fragile, it will be difficult for you to feel competent. Failures in your life will reinforce the lack of self-esteem and increase your feeling of worthlessness ...

And if that weren't enough, if you have low self-esteem, unfortunately you will tend to attract so-called "toxic" people 😬.

You know those “vampires” thirsty for the affection and energy of others?

These people know very well how to spot and take advantage of your weakness, if you are psychologically fragile.

Do you lack self-esteem?

Don't be surprised when you find yourself in toxic and demeaning relationships.

It makes sense when you think about it, since deep down inside you think you don't deserve better ...

So self-esteem is related to others? Indeed, positioning yourself in relation to others is one of the fundamental factors that allows you to adjust your self-esteem.

We all naturally tend to self-assess by comparing ourselves to others.

Whether in the professional or academic field (skills), but also on our physical aspect, in the material field (wealth and social rank), in our emotional and family successes or failures ...

If comparing yourself to others really weighs in with your self-esteem, so does the way others look at you.

Feeling loved and appreciated weighs heavily.

Finally, studies show that skills and performance are not necessarily good indicators of high self-esteem.

For example, students who are popular with their peers often have much higher self-esteem than students who are good in class (even if their academic performance is poor).

Self-esteem is therefore more linked to relationship aspects.

Moreover, parental attitude and style of education play a crucial role in the development of a child's self-esteem.

Supportive and caring parents will help their children to have high self-esteem even compared to overbearing or neglectful parents.

So you know what to do if you want to help your children not suffer from low self-esteem!

Speak encouraging, respectful words, show them affection, care and gratitude when they succeed in certain tasks that they deem important.

The impact of low self-esteem on diet: If you suffer from low self-esteem, you must also be feeling bad about yourself… Logical!

This is unfortunately part of the packaging as we have seen previously.

The risk of falling into depression is also much greater.

If your self-esteem is low, you also risk developing anxiety disorders and addictive behaviors (excessive consumption of sugar, chocolate, screens, etc.)

Feeling bad about yourself, devaluing yourself, thinking that you do not deserve the love and appreciation of others is THE main factor that leads to developing eating disorders such as bulimia, anorexia, or overeating.

The negative impact on all daily life is therefore very significant.

Really, don't take this aspect of your life lightly.

If you think you lack self-esteem, I suggest you perform these 5 very simple little exercises inspired by Positive Psychology, daily.

Do not underestimate them, it could really improve many facets of your life!

How do you improve your self-esteem?

1 / Self-awareness exercise A great sage said:

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift that's why it's called the present" (the mothers here will probably recognize this very ... literary reference! and no one laughs at my references 😂)

Becoming aware of yourself is the first link that allows you to develop your self-esteem. This is why I suggest you start with this exercise.

➡️ Every morning, take time to relax.

Preferably, before checking your emails, Instagram notifications, Facebook etc ... which only pollute your brain unnecessarily.

➡️ Take a notebook or journal.

Take 3 minutes to close your eyes for a moment and reflect on what you are feeling like emotions, sensations and feelings at that moment.

Do you feel sad, happy, tired, energetic, motivated, anxious…?

➡️ Write this in your journal without going into judgment or analysis.

Just try to write down as much detail as possible about how you are feeling physically and psychologically at this moment.

2 / Exercise on self-acceptance: Another aspect that goes hand in hand with self-esteem: self-acceptance.

It is necessary that you learn to support yourself rather than blame yourself. Encourage yourself, value yourself.

To help you accept yourself, there's nothing like asking your loved ones about your qualities and what they like about you.

➡️ Write all of this in your notebook and reread it whenever you feel you are devaluing yourself.)

Also take the time to remember your successes, the highlights of your life.

What are you particularly proud of? What can you rejoice in?

The exercise that I am offering you here to better accept yourself but also and above all your destiny (the Decree of Allah) is therefore to write down every evening 10 things that have made you happy during the day.

10 things for which you are grateful to Allah عز و جال.

By asking these questions to your consciousness, even if you are in a "bad mood", your brain will be forced to search for the answers.

This will force you to focus on the positive rather than your worries and trials, which can often seem more important to you than they really are, if you have low self-esteem.

Remember, glorifying Allah عز و جال and praising Him in all circumstances are part of the believer's duty, which will bring her the satisfaction of her Lord but also inner peace.

3 / stop comparing yourself to others Do you want to please me?

Focus on your own goals and stop comparing yourself to others!

You did not start at the same time as the others, nor do you have the same background, the same tests, and even less the same qualities and skills ...

So I am going to offer you a rather funny exercise here, you will see ...

This must have already happened ...

You are busy but silent and then you find yourself talking to yourself (internally or out loud, it depends on the seriousness of your case 😂):

"Bint Fulana is more beautiful, more intelligent, and in addition she kept a flat stomach despite her pregnancies ... She raises her children better than me, and then you have to face reality, she is also more pious because she knows the Koran by heart and not I, she often goes to meetings, while I rarely manage to do so with all my obligations at home… " Does that remind you of someone?

This little voice does not wish you any good! Be aware of this.

She just wants to make you feel guilty.

And if you listen to it, you are going to put pressure on yourself.

You'll never feel up to it and it might end badly.

Because what's the point of comparing yourself to people who have paths and personalities totally different from yours? It doesn't make sense, don't you think?

So ... once you realize this, I suggest you name that part of yourself that is trying to make you feel guilty!

As if she was a whole person… and above all, find him a very ridiculous little name.

The next time you find yourself having this kind of "inner talk," don't hesitate to call him out:

“Here is Medusa (or Cruella) coming!” (no you won't have dissociative personality disorder!)

You will see. This exercise will gradually lessen the weight of that bad voice on your self-esteem by ridiculing it and minimizing its impact on you.

You will also be more able to become aware of these internal discourses which have no benefit for your "sanity".

Don't laugh it really works, trust me!

4 / Exercise to increase self-love: By increasing your love for yourself, it will boost your self-esteem. And for that, you really have to learn to take care of yourself.

Think about ... what actions can you take each day to experience happiness, pleasure or take care of yourself?

So take your nice little notebook or journal every morning.

And, after performing the 1st exercise, think about the moments, actions or situations that have given you well-being and satisfaction during the last 7 days?

How did you feel ?

➡️ Write down what these situations or activities are and try to reproduce them as often as possible.

It can be very simple things like having breakfast in peace when everyone is still asleep, relaxing with a good bath, visiting your sister, spending time with your husband, doing a painting activity with your child. .

You should see a marked improvement in your mental state over time.

5 / Exercise to enhance the self-image: "Self-image is an individual's representation of themselves, including the physical aspect as well as the psychological one."

As this aspect is purely cognitive, it is easy to "reprogram" your brain to further enhance your self-esteem.

In cognitive behavioral therapy, we talk about cognitive restructuring.

Your mental images and thoughts depend on the cognitive process of processing information, although you may not always be aware of it.

By focusing on your cognitive patterns and dysfunctional beliefs, you can try to change the processes that cause you to think badly about yourself.

So my exercise is to try to modify these bad automatic thoughts by finding alternative thoughts that will improve your emotions and your self-image.

I'm talking about the famous positive affirmations!

➡️ Every morning, take your little notebook and after doing exercises 1 and 4,

Write down one or two positive affirmations, which you will repeat aloud at least 10 times, then as often as possible throughout the day.

Remember, we are talking about positive statements, so there shouldn't be any negative words in your sentence.

For example, you can start your sentences with:

"I am …"

"I want …"

"I can …"

"I like …"

Here are some ideas:

"I accept myself as I am",

"I love me as Allah created me",

“I am able بإذن الله to carry out my projects”,

“I am different and unique and this difference is my strength”…

And so you don't forget to repeat your positive affirmations, some apps can allow you to schedule notifications of your favorite positive affirmations at different times of the day.

Warning. This exercise will only be effective if it is repeated regularly, until your brain has fully integrated and accepted these statements as “truth”.

Here are the girls, for the 5 exercises that will help you regain your self-esteem.

Do you want to know if these exercises are really effective?

Ok. I suggest you take this little test which will allow you to assess your level of self-esteem.

This is a recognized test. It was developed by Morris Rosenberg, a sociologist. This scale is the most used by psychologists nowadays to assess the level of self-esteem, so it can be considered reliable.

To perform the TEST, click on this link: [FREE ROSENBERG TEST]

#self-esteem #perso

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