#if your story with werewolves isn't set in the 80s what are you even doing

[elbiotipo]

It's the 80s. I get on in the car with my wifewolf GF. I turn on the radio. "Hungry Like The Wolf" by Duran Duran is playing. I change the station. "Lobo-Hombre en París" by La Unión is playing. I change the station. "Self Control" by Laura Branigan is playing. I change the station. "Entre Caníbales" by Soda Stereo is playing. I change the station. "Shout" by Tears For Fears is playing. I change t

[eskawrites]

Hmm. The things that I love about your writing. I dont even know how to describe them.

You write comfort very well, and safety. You build relationships between characters that feel sturdy and real and tested and earned, and you write the characters themselves so solidly that it all feels like a cozy blanket. But then when you throw in an enigma like CFDAU Nancy its the most intriguing fucking mystery in the world.

So obviously all the Thriving in the Apocalypse fics are connected, and the rest live in their own spaces, but there are these through lines of feeling that I think make them feel like they could all be connected (besides elden ring AU my beloved) even when theyre not.

I think this is why I love Werewolves AU so much? Obviously there are details there that set it in a vaguely canon universe. But it feels like it could have been a game night in CFDAU too, or in Thriving in the Apocalypse. The Secret Porn story also feels like it could happen in any of these worlds (again probably not Elden Ring AU). There's such a consistency to your characterizations and the ways they take care of each other and the ways they wish they could take care of each other, it really feels like an Eska Multiverse to me, in such a beautiful way.

that's a very nice way of acknowledging the fact that i am physically incapable of not making these characters so gosh darn soft for each other. i mean, isn't that what found family is? 'the world sucks but it gave me you and that's better than anything else i could've wished for.' canon doesn't directly acknowledge it very often because it's too busy dealing with plots and 80s nostalgia, but that's still the theme that powers so much of this entire fandom, yeah?

also i love this because i almost made the werewolves au a thriving in the apocalypse piece, but ultimately decided i didn't want to deal with making the details fit. and yet i do think that's basically the dynamic that nancy and robin have by the time halloween comes around in thriving's universe: robin has settled into herself a bit more, and nancy is finally coming to terms with the fact that she's been falling in love for months

also also, i would argue that the Secret Porn story could take place in the Elden Ring AU, because whether she's tarnished or just her canon character, Nancy is a sort of hardened warrior type who could maybe benefit from some sexy stress relief (their banter would've been weirder in the elden ring au though, so there's that)

[a-captions-blog]

[Image descriptions: 1. Reddit post from r/WhatsThatBook by ClownThrowAwayHelp with the title, ‘help solve a fight with my girlfriend – book with monster clown that can turn into fears but [caps] not [end caps] king’s It???’ The post is marked ‘Solved.’ Post transcription follows. i say it's not king's IT she says it is. we've been disagreeing about this on and off for a year because she keeps bringing up scenes and going on about how good they were in the book but i've read IT and those scenes aren't in it. she says i read IT too long ago to remember. fair. it was a while. but she read it over five years ago too! scenes she remembers that i don't remember in the og book: it was set at a school camp during the kid bits and there were adult scenes too 20-something years later but she doesn't remember them because they "weren't as good". the kids are different ages ranging from 5 to 20. there's a demon clown thing hunting them and it keeps turning into the things they're scared of to try eat them. she remembers a scene where there was a rabid bear and one of the teenagers set it on fire using hairspray. at the end the clown is a female and there's eggs, and every kid in the camp ends up ganging up to try beat the clown to death with rocks. there's also a bit with some weird rapey werewolves but she's less certain about that. she remembers some scenes that are definitely from IT too like the fridge and bill's bike and the bullies lost in the sewers so im pretty sure she's mixing up IT and some other book. i need to find the other book or we're both going to die mad about this. we need closure sorry if this isn't the right place i don't use reddit but i'm desperate to solve this i need to be validated she asked me to add this edit of things she also remembers even though she said she wants nothing to do with my search since she knows shes right - these are all quotes: "the little guys died first and it was dreadful" "there were so many horrible scenes in the camp bathroom king(she says)/the author as of yet unknown(i say) must have something against public bathrooms and by the time i was done reading i did too" "someone died so enthusiastically they painted the wall with their insides" "at least one person maybe more was described as 'unzipped' by the time the clown was done" " there were at least two horny scenes" <-- look how can she say this and still think its king the man is like 80% horny scenes 70% scary scenes and theyre usually overlapping

Under the post is a comment thread started by Deejaymill asking, ‘Hey OP, does your gf read fanfiction by any chance?’ OP: she says no but she didn't say no fast if you get what i mean, very suspicious stuff. and now she's giving me guilty looks. if she's been telling me how good some random fanfiction is for the last 12 months while thinking it was the og i'm taking my pajamas and going home Deejaymil: Haha hey this is awkward / Hate to break it to you both but I think she’s mixing up IT with a couple fanfics. I can’t link them because they’re locked behind a privacy wall but one is an IT/Criminal Minds crossover (most of what you’ve described, though the details aren’t quite right), and the werewolf thing is a different Criminal Minds fic from the same author. Ask her if the camp they were at was called Camp Moribund, if you need evidence for your validation. OP: i cant believe gabby has done this to me / she left the room when i told her it’s a fanfiction and then she came back to ask how you could possible know that and now she’s left again. i think you got it. she wouldn’t be so mad otherwise Deejaymil: I know because I wrote them lmao

2. Comment by OP that says: you are the best thing to ever happen to my relationship god bless your socks i will die telling this story to my children’s children. i’m so happy i could try / sorry if my post sounded like it was dragging your horny scenes i’m sure they’re tasteful horny / thank you for devastating my girl’s emotional wellbeing she needed this 3. and 4. Comments by Deejaymill that says: I feel like I’ve walked into a crowded room and everyone has stopped talking and turned to stare at me, this is the worst WhatsThatBook solve I’ve managed yet haha. Usually I just saunter into the obscure animal book threads becaues I was cat-obsessed as a child… / I’m never going to emotionally recover from this.

5. Further comments from the thread that read: Deejaymill: Haha well, in honour of OP’s poor girlfriend here’s the IT one. I turned off the privacy setting so it should be accessible without a log-in. She faced her demons today so I can face mine. OP: she says “thanks this is exactly it. if i can’t have my dignity, at least i have something to read.” / cheers. guess ill have to read it too now just to find out why she loves the bear versus hairspray scene so much JustMyRealName: “If I can’t have my dignity, at least I have something to read” is such a good line \End descriptions]

help

[shadynalittlesketchy]

A Guide to Vampire Media That Isn't Twilight, by Someone Who Consumes a Lot of It

I'm NOT here to bash Twilight, just provide some other fun bloodsucker media for y'all to enjoy :) if you have any recs of your own, hit me with those bad bois!

TV

Vampire Diaries- "a girl is torn between two vampires" is the plot for like 2 seasons but then it improves significantly. it's definitely very CW, but a lot of the vampire mythology is very very cool. and it doesnt hurt that the entire cast is ridiculously attractive. a great popcorn show! CW for blood and violence, parental death, and dub-con scenarios.

The Originals- a spinoff of TVD, but you don't really need to have seen TVD to watch this. It centers around the 4 original vampires (original as in like, the first vampires ever created) as they navigate vampire and other supernatural politics in New Orleans. Much less "teen angst" and much more "evil ancient vampires trying to be civil at dinner without murder" vibes. CW for blood and violence, and lots of spooky occult stuff taking place in graveyards.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer- literally my favorite TV show of all time. In addition to some killer vamps (team spike ftw!), there's weird demons, warlocks, werewolves- anything you can think of. it has great LGBTQ+ representation for its time, tackles social issues, and has a healthy dose of humor. CW for violence, supporting character deaths, vampire sex that destroys a building, and sexual assault.

What We Do in the Shadows- I don't usually rec comedies, but this one is too good not to. Loosely based off of the movie, it follows a group of vampire roomates in Staten Island. It is hilariously funny, and mocks just about every vampire trope out there. CW for copious amounts of blood, vomit, some pretty crass sexual humor, and dead raccoons.

True Blood- vampires in Louisiana, in a world where everyone knows vampires exist. it checks off all of my boxes for morally grey characters and weird supernatural happenings. it's an HBO show, so TW for blood/gore, violence, and soooo much sex and nudity.

Carmilla- technically a web series, not a TV show, but whatever. its lighthearted lesbian vampires, based off of the very old novella of the same name. great if you like vampires without the scare factor. and its free to watch on youtube!

Movies

What We Do in the Shadows- the movie the TV show is based off of. vampire roommates in New Zealand. also very funny, but less graphic violence/sexual references. created by and starring Taika Waititi, of Thor: Ragnarok fame.

The Lost Boys- awesomely cheesy 80's cult classic feat. Kiefer Sutherland with a bleach-blond mullet. it's fun and weird and has a cool aesthetic. it also has the same kind of vibe as the Goonies. TW for gore, and one icky scene with maggots.

Thirst

South Korean vampire drama with dark, aesthetically pleasing religious imagery. The mc returns from a mission trip with intense cravings for sex and blood and struggles to hold onto his humanity. super angsty and dramatic in the best ways. CW for copious blood and gore, spicy vampire sex, and sexual assault.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

a surprisingly good movie! has a fun, steampunk feel to it, and a pre-MCU Anthony Mackie, which is an added bonus. vampires kill honest abe's mother when hes a child, so he grows up to be an axe-swinging vampire slayer AND the president. this is not a movie to be taken seriously, but it is an awesome popcorn movie! CW for parental death, blood/gore, slavery (it is set during the civil war), and children in danger.

Interview With the Vampire

it is about as gay as a movie can get without the main characters actually being gay. it's a long, drawn-out story about a vampire and his life from when he's turned in the early days of america, until the present. the vampire is played by brad pitt, and he shares lots of longing glances and homoerotic blood drinking scenes with tom cruise. it is visually spectacular, even if the story is a little long. CW for blood/gore, child death, and sexual content.

Bram Stoker's Dracula

starring winona ryder and keanu reeves! it follows the book fairly closely, although it is a very 90s movie. it is WILD, but a classic and a lot of fun if you like vampires, or really any kind of supernatural shenanigans. CW for sexual content, and blood/violence.

Books

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown

non-traditional vamp book, by holly black (the same one who wrote the cruel prince). vampires live in fancy quarantined cities called coldtowns, and the MC ends up in one inadvertently. its a more dystopian/sci-fi take on vampires, but it still has a lot of traditional vampire fun thrown in, too. plus the cover is just gorgeous. CW for sex and violence.

The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires

probably one of the weirdest vampire books ive ever read, but in a good way. its about a group of housewives who start a true-crime bookclub, but begin to suspect that their new neighbor is a vampire. its a really good female empowerment story, and it also explores white saviorism. CW for sexual assault, racism, violence, and forced pregnancy.

Lost Souls

Poppy Z. Brite's books are like a punk-rock, gayer version of Anne Rice. lost souls has great queer rep, and is funny and weird and heartbreaking all at the same time. it's about the lives of vampires in New Orleans, but it's very unique and unlike any other vampire story out there. CW for blood/violence, sexual content, and sexual assault.

Dark Lover

this book is the peak of smutty vampire romance novels. I usually read books like this just for fun, but its actually well-written and has a compelling story outside of the smut aspects. It's about a half-vampire woman who teams up with a vamp to kill the slayers that murdered his parents. just ignore the fact that the love interest is named Wrath. CW for tons of smut, and blood/violence.

The Beautiful

I would describe this as a classic vampire story- romance between a human and a vampire in victorian-era NOLA, complete with costume balls, mysterious murders, and a secret supernatural club. CW warning for mild sexual content, and violence. (It's YA, so there's nothing too graphic.)

Love in Vein

A collection of vampire short stories compiled by Poppy Z. Brite, but written by a variety of authors. there's some really different takes on the vampire myth, and it's interesting to see it played with in so many different ways. just an fyi- it gets weird af and pretty graphic. CW for body horror, blood/violence, sexual assault, and sexual content.

Bonus! Mini playlist

Bloodletting by Concrete Blonde

Black No. 1 by Type O Negative

Cure by Darling Violetta

Blood in the Cut by K. Flay

Holy Water by Bad Company

Decode by Paramore

Uninvited by Alanis Morissette

I Will Never Die by Delta Rae

Devil Inside by INXS

Death of Me by PVRIS

Hypnotic by Zella Day

Cold Blooded by the Pretty Reckless

Savior by St. Vincent

Psycho Killer by the Talking Heads

Transylvanian Concubine by Rasputina

Virgin State of Mind by Ks Choice

How Soon is Now? by the Smiths

Red Right Hand by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds

[consistantly-changing]

[Image descriptions in order: a Reddit post by u/clownthrowawayhelp on r/whatsthatbook titled "help solve a fight with my girlfriend - book with monster clown that can turn into fears but NOT king's IT???" The post is tagged that it has been solved. The post reads "i say it's not king's IT she says it is. we've been disagreeing about this on and off for a year because she keeps bringing up scenes and going on about how good they were in the book but i've read IT and those scenes aren't in it. she says i read IT too long ago to remember. fair. it was a while. but she read it over five years ago too!

scenes she remembers that i don't remember in the og book: it was set at a school camp during the kid bits and there were adult scenes too 20-something years later but she doesn't remember them because they "weren't as good". the kids are different ages ranging from 5 to 20. there's a demon clown thing hunting them and it keeps turning into the things they're scared of to try eat them.

she remembers a scene where there was a rabid bear and one of the teenagers set it on fire using hairspray. at the end the clown is a female and there's eggs, and every kid in the camp ends up ganging up to try beat the clown to death with rocks. there's also a bit with some weird rapey werewolves but she's less certain about that.

she remembers some scenes that are definitely from IT too like the fridge and bill's bike and the bullies lost in the sewers so im pretty sure she's mixing up IT and some other book. need to find the other book or we're both going to die mad about this. we need closure

sorry if this isn't the right place i don't use reddit but i'm desperate to solve this need to be validated

she asked me to add this edit of things she also remembers even though she said she wants nothing to do with my search since she knows shes right - these are all quotes:

• "the little guys died first and it was dreadful"

• "there were so many horrible scenes in the camp bathroom king(she says)/the author as of yet unknown(i say) must have something against public bathrooms and by the time i was done reading i did too"

• "someone died so enthusiastically they painted the wall with their insides"

• "at least one person maybe more was described as 'unzipped' by the time the clown was done"

"there were at least two horny scenes" <-- look how can she say this and still think its king the man is like 80% horny scenes 70% scary scenes and theyre usually overlapping".]

[A comment thread started by Deejaymil, who says "Hey OP, does your gf read fanfiction by any chance?" clownthrowawayhelp (the OP( replied "she says no but she didn't say no fast if you get what i mean, very suspicious stuff. and now she's giving me guilty looks. if she's been telling me how good some random fanfiction is for the last 12 months while thinking it was the og i'm taking my pajamas and going home".

Deejaymil says "Haha hey this is awkward

Hate to break it to you both but I think she's mixing up IT with a couple of fanfics. I can't link them because they're locked behind a privacy wall but one is an IT/Criminal Minds crossover (most of what you've described, though the details aren't quite right), and the werewolf thing is a different Criminal Minds fic from the same author. Ask her if the camp they were at was called Camp Moribund, if you need evidence for your validation."

The OP says "i cant believe gabby has done this to me

she left the room when i told her it's a fanfiction and then she came back to ask how you could possibly know that and now she's left again. i think you got it. she wouldn't be so mad otherwise".

Deejaymil comments "I know because I wrote them Imao".]

[The OP clownthrowawayhelp comments "you are the best thing to ever happen to my relationship god bless your socks i will die telling this story to my children's children. i'm so happy i could cry

sorry if my post sounded like it was dragging your horny scenes i'm sure they're tasteful horny

thank you for devastating my girl's emotional wellbeing she needed this".]

[Deejaymil comments "I feel like I've walked into a crowded room and everyone has stopped talking and turned to stare at me, this is the worst whatsthatbook solve I've managed yet haha. Usually I just saunter into the obscure animal book threads because I was cat- obsessed as a child..."]

[Deejaymil comments "I'm never going to emotionally recover from this."]

[Deejaymil comments "Haha well, in honour of OP's poor girlfriend here's the IT one. I turned off the privacy setting so it should be accessible without a log-in. She faced her demons today so I can face mine.

clownthrowawayhelp replies "she says "thanks this is exactly it. if i can't have my dignity, at least i have something to read"

cheers. guess ill have to read it too now just to find out why she loves the bear versus hairspray scene so much".

justmyrealname says '"If I can't have my dignity, at least I have something to read" is such a good line".]

help