#if you've seen me use this title before that's because i like dogs

[r0b0tb0y]

The Size of the Fight in the Dog: Chapter One

North London, 1998. Brasso is a bareknuckle boxer and Cassian is his manager. When Cassian gets into trouble he can't talk his way out of, there may not be a chance for Brasso to confess his long-guarded feelings. He's busy trying to finish the week with the same number of teeth as when he started.

Chapter One: Soaking Wet

If they’d been illuminated by anything more than the exit lights, Brasso would have seen the blood. As it was, he had to ask: ‘What happened, Cass?’

[sanctus-ingenium]

answering your asks in one big post because you sent so many of them (update: added 2 more that just got sent)

hi guys. what the fuck

in plain text so i don't have to type out a million image IDs

Anonymous asked: "I am obsessed with your metal beasts and lore!! The designs are *chef's kiss* gorgeous and inspired and if you were to ever make print versions of the kinda diagram-like side view pieces of them I'd slap that stuff all over my walls ❤️❤️"

Answer: I'd have to pretty them up a LOT to get them print ready. But I think it would be cool to do a blueprint style version kind of like old diagrams of machinery with additional embellishments

like this (source)

Anonymous asked: "have you ever posted any art of the dragons you've mentioned before? im really curious ab them"

Answer: I've posted sketches. I have trouble drawing diagrams because I am STILL torn between radial and bilateral symmetry... i know it should be radial but in my heart I prefer bilateral. So I'm thinking maybe it is radial but with a pseudo-bilateral look. It's definitely on my to-draw list

Anonymous asked: "just wanna pop in and say i love all your worldbuilding its so creative and fun, but as a dragon lover i ESPECIALLY adore your weird and funky dragons. i think its so cool when people push the boundaries on what a dragon can be (that versatility is a big part of their appeal to me in the first place) and your take is one of the most fun ive seen in a while"

Answer: as a marine biologist, I-

the dragons came after the beasts. I wanted to give them a reason for existing and 'knights fighting dragons' evokes such a great retro fantasy vibe that i loved it. The reason Pantera is a leopard (and not any other kind of big cat) is because in medieval bestiaries, leopards were said to fight dragons using their 'sweet breath'. You can see where I went with it. But dragons in these bestiaries have such variable appearances and can be virtually anything, like you said they're so versatile. For the people in this setting, the most they ever really see of dragons are the legs, tendrils, and the massive beak (which is mineralised like the pen of a squid). It's a creature really too big to comprehend, so they depict it in their diagrams as a bird-headed creature with wings and a back end made of serpents. but you can always tell in these illustrations whether the artist has actually seen a dragon in person.. because they won't draw it like this:

@our-tiny-hotel asked: "where did you get the idea/inspiration for these stories?"

Answer: for mez, i like zoids, retro fantasy, speculative biology, and stories which explore themes of religion and its role in highly gendered systems of oppression (lbr it is fantasy catholicism. that's right... this is also a story about gender)

for inver: fairies man

Anonymous asked: "is nosewyse a dog? i cant find anything about it on your blog"

Answer: You can find Nosewyse here. He's the smallest Holy Beast and by far the most pathetic

@raskies456 asked: "Re: your tags on the Taurus art, how DO the smiths manufacture such massive single plates of metal?"

Answer: I'm going to draw some diagrams to explain but basically the theocratic empire sits on a massive wealth of iron ore so there's no shortage of it. Smiths can manipulate metallic elements using the dialogue tattoos on their palms - Mercury and Mars are the titles for enginesmiths and armoursmiths respectively. Enginesmiths use mercury because it doesn't interact with incandescent dragonsblood, and it's a liquid metal which in alchemical theory is Pure and extremely close to gold (free of sin u might say). The quicksilver is used to manipulate the insides of a working engine without having to physically touch it. Armoursmiths work on iron, but here's the issue: solid metal won't budge. It needs to be softened or liquid for the dialogues to have any effect. So the armoursmith teams are blacksmiths who heat up these mass amounts of iron using dragonsblood furnaces until the iron is malleable, and then in teams of 50 or more they slowly and painstakingly stretch and shape it into the desired form. that's how they make armour plating for Holy Beasts. The use of dialogue tattoos isn't like psychic telekinesis, but more like playing an instrument where the position of each finger has to be perfectly accurate in 3D space to produce the desired effect. it's a very physical job and incredibly skilled. Taurus's barge took decades to construct and thousands of workers.

Anonymous asked: "are you ever going to publish the book are you are writing"

Answer: maybe. the idea of traditional publishing doesn't appeal to me. might just be a "buy this pdf on itch.io" sort of deal

Anonymous asked: "Hi, im new here. I hope this isn't rude, but from what i can tell the gist here is that medieval people dug up what i can only assume are the still-living skeletons of otherworldly beings or perhaps demons and went "Wouldn't it be cool if we put flamethrowers in these guys and rode them to war" and then they do that thanks to jellyfish ooze from giant violent sky jellyfish?"

Answer: I can neither confirm nor deny (yes but also nooot quite ;))

Anonymous asked: "Jowd you learn how to draw machines? Is it hard to draw all the Bits on those mechazords in the correct place when theyre like jumping and run ing and shit?"

Answer: I learned a lot from building zoids, putting them together, watching them move etc etc. At the same time, it's also sort of basic anatomy too? Your hinged elbow joint is a mechanism and if you just made the same joint in metal it would work the same way. But ALSO when i draw them, I follow the ref sheets for big parts but mostly bullshit the details because who give a shit at the end of the day if I put a screw wrong, no one's going to care

Anonymous asked: "Idk if this helps you at all but on r/zoids on the Dreaded Reddit people talk about 3d printed zoids so maybe you can get your zoids that way"

Answer: I am a member of r/zoids lol... that sounds really cool though. I've never seen a 3D printer in real life before tho. But I can't be out here getting more zoids when I have had my HMM command wolf half-constructed for literally over a year because I keep procrastinating on it

Anonymous asked: "A lot of libraries have 3d printers and some people will like. Hire theirs out so people can print stuff"

Answer: Not in Ireland they don't

Anonymous asked: "Is it illegal to make beaft ocs".

Answer: I'm not a cop and my main stance is: do what you want, I can't stop you. If you would like to design a mech animal using medieval bestiary aesthetics - go for it, it's fun. However, why does it have to play by my setting rules? Wouldn't you prefer to make something wholly belonging to yourself? You can invent a million new ways to use this sort of mech design in a story with a whole new setting, all yours. It just won't be one of mine or in my setting.

Anyway you couldn't make a beaft oc in my setting anyway because you don't even know what they are or how they work

[blueberry-lemon]

You've probably seen this image. I've seen it many times. I have mixed feelings about it.

It's a funny image, and represents a good cause. It's usually posted by people who want to support fairer working conditions for game developers, and want to show support for smaller titles.

It's usually posted in contrast to something like Cyberpunk 2077, Watch Dogs: Legion, The Last of Us: Part II, or God of War: Ragnarok.

There's a part of me that cringes every time I see it, though. I imagine there may be other game developers who feel similarly.

I think the reflexive cringe comes from the phrase "shorter games with worse graphics." People being paid more to work less sounds great, tbh, and barring any sort of production pipeline blocking, I think most devs would be into that.

These are the thoughts that fly through my mind when I hear people say "I want shorter games with worse graphics."

Short compared to what?

Shorter than Elden Ring? Shorter than Hollow Knight? Short like Venba? Short like Celeste? How short could a AAA game be before, even despite posting this phrase, you'd find it unsatisfying or incomplete? How short could an indie game be before you don't consider it a "real game"? Games can be anything from Ulysses to a haiku, but it rarely seems like people are talking about the haiku style of games.

What does "worse graphics" mean?

I just can't imagine a world where "worse graphics" could possibly correlate to Hi-Fi Rush, Undertale, Hollow Knight, Bomb Rush Cyberfunk, Celeste, Mario Odyssey, Wind Waker, A Short Hike, or Hades. Even though those are the types of games that I often see people use this meme in support of. Those games have incredible art that talented artists worked really really hard on. It feels like a bit of a sting to associate those beautiful games with the term "worse graphics." That phrasing, sadly, implies that photorealism is the bar by which all other games are compared.

Forever Games

Where do replayable games, like roguelikes, tycoons, crafting games, and farming sims land on the realm of "shorter games"? They're not inherently any shorter than a big AAA game, and they're designed to be replayable and to suck your time in. That can be great, but it also might be a treadmill that is not inherently any more honorable than a game trying to tell a linear story.

Are you really "not kidding"?

This meme has a very confident, smug energy and I think that tone invites this question: Do you REALLY want shorter games with worse graphics? I know this is going to depend on the individual lives of each human being who's ever reposted this meme, and it can never be truly answered, but it really begs the question of whether or not people REALLY DO WANT "shorter games with worse graphics." Because let me tell ya, there's a lot of shorter games with worse graphics right now and they ain't selling very well. Check the Steam reviews. Ask devs how many copies they sell on itch. There are many devs out there who make shorter games with worse graphics and no matter how many times people post this phrase, people don't seem to flock over to support those projects. And that sinking feeling of "oh, these folks don't mean the games that my friends and I post regularly on itch, they mean Hi-Fi Rush and Wind Waker" is a little bit demotivating, given the gusto with which this meme is posted. There are people whose whole careers hinge on the hope that there's an audience out there that wants "shorter games with worse graphics" and there doesn't seem to be an actual sea change that's helping those projects out. There is a treasure trove of games out on itch that you can play in between hyped releases, but most people's playing habits don't seem to shift.

Lastly...

...there are thousands of devs out there who work hard, collaborating with other devs and artists, to make their games the best they can be. Devs work hard to bring their artistic vision to God of War: Ragnarok or to Bomb Rush Cyberfunk or to experimental indies with intentionally-ragged art styles. Everyone is putting their heart into their art to make something that will connect with the player. Sometimes, this can be pulled off by 1 or 2 people. Sometimes, this will require hiring more onto the team. It's slightly dissonant to see people say they want to see "worse graphics" when you're trying to get a job in texturing or particle effects and want to deliver something your team is trying to push a boundary on. This is true in both small projects and big projects. Artists are putting their stamp on Horizon Forbidden West just as much as they're putting their stamp on Venba. There are artists looking for work in the indie space who want to make better and more beautiful "graphics."

Anyway, no disrespect to people who post this meme. I understand that it's a show of support and solidarity. I understand that it's just a joke. I know that it's not a big deal.

But I'd be lying if I said that these mixed feelings didn't flash through my mind every time I saw this hedgehog. Figured I would share them.

[dirtanddistance]

West Coast Running Odyssey - Alternate Title, How to RunMaxx a Three Day Weekend/Bay to Breakers Race Recap and More

Some weekends were made for running, and for this BC runner, Victoria Day Weekend was without doubt that weekend for me. Saturday morning started with an early alarm drawing me groggily downstairs to make a cup of tea and grab a bagel. I could hear the ominous beating of the rain outside. Checking my messages, it quickly became apparent that the group planning a run up to Tunnel Bluffs would not be convening. I texted Elise to check if she wanted to bail, and thankfully, she was prepared to get out there still. We enjoyed the meandering drive up Sea to Sky and got to trekking. Calling this a run may have been a slight exaggeration, seeing as we were hoofing it uphill a good amount of the way up. However, the trek paid off as we reached the bluffs to a view out across the sound. Perhaps not as majestic as a truly clear day, but braving the rain on the sparsely traveled trail up was worth the extra care scrambling up the final rocky sections. We logged our names on the little message station and beheld a soggy plush dog stationed in a stump overlooking the water, pondering his role and how he reached this place. Is he meant to tell us something? On the way back, much faster and with higher spirits, we gleefully ignored the building fatigue in our quads as we pulled into the parking lot with jelly legs, feeling incredibly fortunate to have not gone back to bed. And, because I have no chill when it comes to maximizing my run opportunities, I hopped on a plane to San Francisco shortly after.

Bay to Breakers is an event without comparison in North America. I'd participated around ten years ago, and would describe the event as a 12k long party rather than a 'race'. Between the costumes, the absurd spectators, the flying tortillas in the staring gate, the adult full frontal nudity, and the centipede category, you are guaranteed to see something you've never seen before. This year was no exception. We rocked up to the starting line as a party of three; two of us dressed in a rather obscure pop culture reference duo costume as Taylor and Matty for our best Tortured Poets Department impression. We'd ordered our race packets to be mailed to us, but when there was no hint of them the day before the race, I frantically emailed the help desk and was told I could pick our numbers up morning of. This went quite smoothly, if it was slightly disappointing to not have had the pre-event mailing work out. The starting corrals were well organized, but within moments the trademark ridiculousness took root with fajita size tortillas flying through the air. After being buffeted by a number of the delicious discs, I flung one back into the void, promptly striking someone in the face (sorry!) and earning a high five from my compatriots. As they released us into the streets through the starting gate, the real adventure began. I can confidently say that the sequined shorts were perfectly fine to run in with their protective nylons guarding them from my skin, which was possibly the largest surprise of the day. The first entertaining stop was a reverse piñata station, in which two rows of people dressed up like piñatas with inflatable sticks wallop runners passing through. After that, we encountered an entire crew dressed as crabs. This would turn out to be the most resilient and entertaining group of the day. The swarm of crabs would later be seen partying long into the afternoon in the park, absolutely in sync and on some kind of divine crab wavelength that the rest of us could only imagine existing within. As all three of us were originally from Florida, Hayes Hill was the most fretted portion of the event, and where we began walking. The amount of concentrated hype attached to this portion of the course is understandable given the mild elevation profile of the rest of the course. I quickly discovered as I forced us back to running on the downhill that my legs were not particularly pleased to be doing another downhill run after yesterday's blitz back from Tunnel Bluffs, but I ignored this inconvenient fact in favor of pressing onwards. We passed a Pit Stop in which a crew of spectators dressed in race car pit crew outfits slammed runners into camp chairs, poured some beer down their throats, and then shoved them back onto the course in a brutally efficient demonstration of debauchery. We walk/ran the remainder of the trek out to the Pacific, and even had someone recognize our costume along the way. Finally, the finish line and the breaking waves beckoned, and we collected our pretty sick finisher medals and oodles of snacks. 10/10 event, did 0/10 serious racing.

Why stop at two back to back days of iconic running destinations when you can stack up three? Only someone without a searing ambition to add a trail run to their San Francisco weekend would leave their Monday bereft of more miles. That, and I really didn't want to do another long run on my usual home route. Desperation leads to curious destinations, and that curious destination for me was the top of Hawk Hill via foot from Haight Ashbury. Like any sensible person who never drinks coffee, I decided that morning was the perfect one for my caffeine sensitive self to slam a soy latte before taking the 7 bus with my husband into town proper. After he picked up a bike and we picked out some waypoints, I was off and running. I have to say, I was running up inclines I would never even consider runnable during the first hour of this journey. I bounded up the stairs to Inspiration Point before bobbing down again to the start of the Golden Gate bridge. In my caffeinated stupor, I thought to myself that I might not be so pleased on the return route going back up, but decided that was a problem for mile 17 me and instead tackled the puzzle that was 'how to get onto the sidewalk that would take me across the bridge to the sweet sweet dirt and plants on the other side of it'. Now, I would understand if you were expecting me to have some kind of awe inspiring account of what it's like to run across this iconic piece of American engineering. This instantly recognizable more-orange-than-red bridge is the default bridge emoji. It links a storied American city with a massive national recreation area. Running across it, therefore, must be a religious experience. Perhaps it is, given that most of what I hear of religious experiences in America are filled with rage, inefficiency, and lack of consideration of anyone other than oneself. It was an infuriating experience. First of all, it's loud. Many cars and big water means much sound. Second, it's packed. This was a non-holiday Monday and it was packed. That's enough of a challenge, but I've been to Tokyo and seen that humans are capable of being very concentrated and also very orderly. This bridge traffic did not get this memo. Not a soul on this sidewalk had ever conceived of a single file line. The existence of pull-off areas for photos and pausing was completely ignored in favor of random stopping in the most congested sections. As someone who very minimally experiences what one might consider 'road rage,' I was shocked at the internal frustration building within me. Thankfully I refrained from externalizing that experience and made it to the other side, where I again had to go full Dora The Explorer to find the way to the other side of the bridge and finally get to the promised land - TRAILS.

The trails did not disappoint. As a friend pointed out to me later, Marin was the location of the North Face Endurance 50k years back, and understandable why they chose this location. Although most of my journey out was uphill, it was gradual enough to be fully runnable, leaving my cycle-bound husband in my dust. At the top of Hawk Hill, I enjoyed a fresh jam sandwich I'd bought with my coffee and ferried all the way up with me, in true trail run fashion. The trek back down became a bit more interesting as I took a different trail back along the ridge instead of along the road. I spotted a couple ahead of me, and then promptly tripped on almost nothing and ate dirt, in front of the only other humans I would end up seeing on the trail that day. I quickly waved them off in my embarrassment so I could cry quietly about it for a few minutes, and then hobbled along with the sad acknowledgement that I would not be flinging myself back down the hill with the ache in my knee now gnawing away. Each time I stopped it got a bit stiff, so I quit doing that and dragged my dusty, bleeding carcass back into town to meet my husband back at the Whole Foods, which seems like the only appropriate post-run meet point in San Francisco, for a post run kombucha (I kinda would have done anything for a classic Red Dye 40 packed Gatorade, but I was also not willing to expend any more effort than necessary seeking one out in my condition). While I felt bad for myself in my sticky and bloody state, I have to say I've been pretty fortunate to have made it about a year since my last dirt-eating debacle. I can't even mitigate it by saying it was super technical, or a dicey downhill. I was going uphill. There was probably some tiny rock. I'm going to take it as a good omen that I completed my mandatory knee scrape early in the season and that it will again bless the remainder of hot trail runner summer.

Looking back on the absurd trifecta of runs I was lucky enough to get to do, I was reminded of just how awe inspiring running can be - from the bonds we form with those we run with and friends we make along the way, to the absurdity one can witness from the vantage point of the street, to the majesty of the places our feet can take us. No matter the place, no matter the pace, going for a run is always a good idea.

[mania-sama]

If you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them?

Thanks if you want to answer.....

Hello! Thank you so much for sending in an ask, this is so exciting!! I would LOVE to answer this question!!

I've grown and changed a lot over the years since I began writing fanfiction when I was like, ten years old. Some of the fics I'm going to list aren't objectively well-written or my best work thus far, but they still have a special place in my heart for whatever reason. This question is so fun and I actually think about this all of the time. A lot of my most popular fics are ones that I'm not particularly proud of myself, so I'll gladly take the opportunity to talk about the ones I do like!!

In no particular order:

rule #8 - otherside [Bungou Stray Dogs] -> I wrote this for my Whumptober prompt series (which currently makes up a HUGE chunk of my works right now lmao). The reason I like this so much is mainly because I really enjoyed writing it. I've always wanted to write a fic where a character's mouth gets stitched shut, but I never got / found the opportunity to do so. Then Whumptober came around. I think I executed it well enough, especially since I chose Akutagawa, who struggles with breathing on a good day. If I get to grind my favorite characters through the Whump Machine, then I'm always very happy. I guess I just like this specific trope leaps and bounds better than all of the other ones? X

with every line, a comedy [Genshin Impact] -> I had a lot of fun writing this one, too. I got to explore PTSD in a way I'd never had before, going through the eyes of someone entirely disconnected from the traumatic event but knows the person being affected by it. It's my longest completed work, too; I write mainly short one-shots, around 1-4k words on average. This was a bigger project for me, and the first long-fic I've ever finished. I also used one of my favorite albums for the fic and chapter titles, so every time I listen to the songs, I think of this fic. I just. Really love this fic. X

Dear Kaeya, Signed Diluc Ragnvindr [Genshin Impact] -> I like this fic a lot because it's stylized very differently from everything else I've written. While not being an x reader, it is technically in second person, like I, the narrator, am talking to the reader. It's written in that same "talking" way, too. So I don't use any dialogue tags or anything like that. That is all for the second portion of the fic, though. The first half is made up entirely of letters the Diluc is sending to his adopted brother. I don't write him writing the letters, it's just the letters themselves. You read it like he's talking to you, in a sense, but the reader knows it's directed at Kaeya. It was a very fun and cool way to explore a new writing convention. X

the difference between hurt and injured [Genshin Impact] -> Lots of Genshin, I know, but this was when I was starting to fully fledge as a writer. A lot of my gradual progress can be seen through these fics, and this is a really good one to use as a comparison. This is my first attempt at much more serious writing, I think. It's longer than anything I had written at the time, sitting at a nice 20k words I wrote in the span of a few days. In general, it has a lot of things I really wanted to write about: the failures of the foster care system, complex / failing relationships, and the consequences of failing to act. The title comes from something an old softball coach would say, and I hated it but I could never get it out of my head. So I used it to title the fic, and it relates very well to what happens in the fic. Diluc is the "hurt" portion; he's fine, really, but his stubbornness makes him think his wounds are still bleeding. Venti, twelve years old in this for the sake of the AU, is "injured"; he is not fine. His wounds are bleeding, and he's doing the best he can to patch it up before he bleeds out, but more keep opening and he doesn't know what to do. X

rule #13 - waterfall [Jujutsu Kaisen] -> I like this fic because of the idea, more than anything. I have a very specific image of Megumi falling into a coma after Itadori saves his soul from Sukuna. If I could write this fic a million different times, I would. I simply love this vision. I also got to talk about literature, because Itadori is reading books to Megumi. Another idea I love that I got to convey through this fic is the idea of souls being separated from their comatose bodies. It provides an interesting take on being caught between life and death. I won't lie, I was probably inspired by one of my favorite fics of all time, When I Awake. But I also think it comes from a series I read when I was younger, the Serafina series. In the last book, the main character's body gets split into three different parts: flesh, spirit, and animal. Very interesting, and I think it's stuck with me for all of these years. X

rule #17 - two sides [Genshin Impact] -> Another case of finding a new writing convention. I wanted to focus more on external and internal dialogue to be the main contributors to the story, though I'm not sure how well I achieved this goal. It's crime-focused, and I wanted to slowly reveal the information rather than it being outright known off the bat. I wanted to put these characters who obviously know and trust each other very well into a situation where all of that shatters, where one is at the complete mercy of the other's decision, where both of them are suffering from the same crime, but one of them is the suspect of that crime and the other is the main investigator. SO much fun!! X

rule #26 - gideon [Bungou Stray Dogs] -> This one I debated heavily on adding, but I'm going ahead with it anyway because I happened to realize I really, really love this one. It's just Atsushi and his backstory, but if there were no abilities. He escapes, and Chuuya and Dazai happen upon him on the road. It's simplistic in comparison to some of the others on this list I think, but I love Atsushi and I love his horribly messed-up backstory with all my heart. Along these veins, I'm going to put rule #31 - calamity [X] as an honorable mention. Another horribly messed up backstory where Atsushi stars as the tortured main character, and I happened to really enjoy writing and thinking about it. The final honorable mention is rule #15 - four aces [X] where I toy with Dazai's character, and what it would mean for him to have finally defeated Fyodor. X

Again, thank you so much for asking!! Most of my works are on Ao3, so if you're curious to read more, I have a lot there! Much love <3

[haesoo-park]

title: clinging to not getting sentimental.

fandom: saltburn.

pairing: oliver quick/felix catton, felix catton/annabelle.

rating: mature.

wordcount: 874.

summary: oliver watches felix have sex with annabelle, all while being delusional and lying to himself. as usual.

triggers: alcohol use, stalking, voyeurism, smoking, violence.

ao3 link.

felix is staring at annabelle from across the dancefloor. i've seen that glassy, vodka-fueled look before. we all have, though i know that i see it for what it is: desperation. everyone loves felix, they do. no one leaves him alone, and he's grown accustomed to it. all of these people, all gathered at his feet, leaving flowers and prayers just for a glance in their direction. i think the reason he likes me so much is because i don't do that. never have, never will. my sun doesn't shine for felix catton, does it? no. he's worshiped with longing, especially from those like annabelle. i imagine that in her head, she thinks of wedding bells or invitations or feeding felix cake. it's all a bit pathetic, really, watching her now cut through her friends to get to felix. my gaze flicks to india, and her crushing disappointment. another disciple cast aside for felix's cravings. is it sweet to see them kiss as the music vibrates the entire club? hardly. there's nothing romantic about empty kisses that taste like alcohol.

pushing myself off of the wall, i slowly exit, but not the way felix went. that's too obvious, too... strange. people would notice, more than likely, and i can't have that. once they're on the trail back to felix's room, i pick up the slack and walk behind in the shadows. felix is hanging onto annabelle, his long body bent to the left, his head on hers. i can hear giggling, felix raising a bottle. he's smashed — totally off his arse with something horridly flavored, probably. whipped cream vodka or something equally as disgusting. they make it through the winding courtyard of our beloved oxford, and then — i fork toward the windows. i make sure to get there after felix enters with annabelle. their lips crash, two catastrophes looking to destroy fair towns with their undeniable affection. it's tragic.

i light a cigarette, taking a long drag from the filter, the curling wisps of nicotine-tinted smoke dancing around my head like felix does. he shines, you know. trusting and kind and dangerously sheltered from pain. he doesn't know what it's like to want, to need, to suffer for something you've set your heart on. love for him is so gentle, and it comes too fucking easily. he loves me. i know he does. he told me the first time we officially spoke, the words falling from his mouth like warm waterfalls nestled in hidden mountains. it felt... right. beautiful. no hatefulness, no sarcasm. i've never seen him look at annabelle the way he looked at me that day. it's nice when his brown eyes — so much like a loyal dog's — light up with happiness and laughter. i can give that to him, i can always give that to him.

he thrusts into her, the curve of his back lean and tight with exertion. i gain no sexual pleasure from this, i feel empty. tired. it's far past midnight, but that isn't the reason my heart pumps in a slow rhythm. there is no excitement, only the sharpness that comes before decay. a twisted blade, a gunshot that hits a vital organ. i'm bleeding for him, but not in the way one would expect. a tear falls, hot and stinging, and i finish the cigarette off with another drag. flicking it into the flowers, i hope they burn. i hope they wilt and curl into themselves. that's how i feel, that's how this makes me suffocate. they don't last long — fucking drunk will do that to you — the both of them rolling under the duvet looking for a smoke. felix laughs, the lamplight giving him this fucking awful glow. sweat is settled on his chest, and i hate it. i hate him. i hate felix catton. i want to tell him gorgeous words and say he's the only one for me, but i also want to know what it means to hurt him. really, truly hurt him. that's not violence, it's righteousness. a slaying of the ego, a sword wrapped in the thick muscle of self-worth.

she doesn't stay. she never does. with a kiss to his cheek, annabelle pops out whilst adjusting her clothes. felix doesn't bother lamenting, because there's no reason to. the lamp is off, the night presses against me with such incredible, horrible, nauseating weight. i watch his silhouette, moving with the rhythm of his breathing. my hand reaches out, and i press it to the glass. it's as if it also moves with his lungs, like i can feel the reverberation. in and out, in and out. my fingers curl until i form a fist. it's true, isn't it? that verlaine poem.

your soul is a select landscape — where charming masqueraders and bergamaskers go, playing the lute and dancing and almost, sad beneath their fantastic disguises.

all sing in a minor key, of victorious love and the opportune life, they do not seem to believe in their happiness, and their song mingles with the moonlight —

i rear my fist back and then pound it against the glass, the pitch-black night covering my form, my face. felix startles, yells, then leans over to light the lamp. i'm already gone.

[itsbenedict]

so i've been shirking a lot of my duties lately because Pikmin 4 is out and man Pikmin 4 is good. it's got it all- its core game loop is so meticulously polished and optimized to not waste your time, the new sort of minigame modes it introduces are all challenging and enjoyable, it looks fantastic...

...and i said in a post recently that nothing annoyed me about it, but that i might find something later. so here's a comprehensive list of things that annoy me about Pikmin 4, to demonstrate the level of nitpicking i have to go to to find flaws in this game.

As previously mentioned, the tutorial is a bit too long- it's ages before you get your hands on even a single pikmin. They really want to teach you how to use that dog (which, in fairness, the dog is super useful.)

The load times are kind of unforgivably bad for a first-party title in an actual cartridge. It's rough stuff, especially when there's several back-to-back during phase transitions.

The departure cutscene- though skippable, thankfully- I usually don't skip because the music is nice and it's cool to see a bird's-eye view of the area when you're done for the day. Except in this game, the camera stays in a bit too tight and all you ever get to see is the ground. Lame.

The story's kind of trite, I guess. Pikmin's never had a super strong narrative element and doesn't really need one, but these rescue squad losers are pretty one-dimensional and kinda ruin the sense of solitude and discovery. (Also it it-was-all-a-dream retcons all the previous Pikmin games' stories out of existence for some reason??? Like, no big loss, but weird decision considering there was absolutely no need to do that.)

oh yeah no one was gonna be fooled by that fakeout midgame ending, lol. don't waste my time with that crap

The character creator is pretty bad- it's kind of impossible to make anything that looks good with the limited palette of options, and the choice to use the same character creator to design all the castaway NPCs (and main cast!) was a decent idea in theory but in practice all the NPCs look randomly-generated and just awful. Zero points for character design there.

Endless menu notifications for things you've already seen. Like, yeah, I know there's a log entry for this new pikmin I just found, you just showed it to me, I don't need a flashing "New!" indicator until I go into the menu and re-read the thing I just read. And kind of weird that B is "go from the map to the log menu" and not "dismiss the map".

There's a special mode that unlocks after a certain point in the game which is just like an entire Pikmin 1 inside Pikmin 4, which is fun but if you want to back out of it and put it on hold it's not super clear how to do that while keeping your progress. (You have to just exit from the pause menu during gameplay.)

rot13 for spoilers: Gurl oebhtug gung fgrnzebyyre zbgureshpxre sebz Cvxzva 2 onpx!!! Shpx gung guvat!!! Ohg zber vzcbegnagyl, shpx Pbyyva jub jba'g fuhg hc nobhg ubj V fubhyq whfg eha njnl naq cebprrq guebhtu gur yriry jvgubhg trggvat nyy gur gernfher naq pbzr onpx bapr vg'f qrnq! V'z abg tbaan qb gung orpnhfr V'z abg n ONOL, Pbyyva! Lrf, V XABJ vg'f qnatrebhf! Shpxvat rirelguvat ba guvf cynarg vf qnatrebhf, Pbyyva! Guvf vf abg n arj qrirybczrag!

The progression design is a little out of whack, I think- rather than each new area having an onion and being designed around the pikmin from that onion, there's multiple redundant onions and you frequently get new types from candypop buds in dungeons, so you learn to use them while they're extremely limited and precious before getting the ability to make more of them later on. I'm not sure it works as a design choice- it just kind of means I don't use onionless pikmin unless I'm forced to.

Note that none of these are gripes with the primary gameplay loop. The primary gameplay loop is fine! Playing the game still feels perfect, polished to a mirror shine... with thus far only one exception. That exception being:

Okay so you've got your onion, right? You bring stuff to it and seeds come out and plant themselves around it. You go to the onion to take pikmin in and out, too. What's the button to do that? You stand under it and press A. What's the button to start auto-picking all the planted pikmin whether they've bloomed yet or not? You stand a millimeter to the left of that and press A. Hrm.

Now this wouldn't be a problem because there's a contextual button popup that says which thing will happen when you press A. So you only pluck when it says pluck, right?

NO, IT LIES

If you press A to go into the add/remove pikmin screen- sometimes that screen is unresponsive, and it won't say why, but it's because you're in the middle of plucking pikmin, actually. Your stupid dog was a millimeter to the left and decided that it was going to do its own, different thing when you pressed A, which was start auto-plucking.

They had to program that in!! They had to program in a behavior for the menu to not respond when your dog is in the middle of plucking pikmin!! So they knew this could happen! And instead of fixing it so that the game does what the button prompt says instead of a different thing that's invisible, they said "okay, tell them no, you have to back out and tell your dog to stop first."

"Also your dog won't listen to you until it's already auto-plucked at least one pikmin, so now your squad of flower guys is going to have one premature leafy straggler."

Like, come on! This happens constantly! There's no way it didn't come up in QA! Why in the world wouldn't you fix this? It's so obviously a problem and so easy to solve! Auuuuugh.

Anyway that is literally everything I can think of that's bad about Pikmin 4. The rest of it is tremendously satisfying and I like it a lot. 9/10 game for sure.

[morayoflight]

JADE BUTLER SIGN ME UP-

Okay but listen. It’s only a matter of time before reader and Jade start pinning for one another. But how would Jade react to some rando trying to court reader during a fancy party? Like trying to ask them to dance when they’re clearly not comfortable?

Ofc feel free to ignore this but thank you for reading :))

Hi anon! Thank you for requesting this! Somehow, I ended up writing an entire fic instead of just headcanons. I hope that's okay TvT

Butler!Jade reacts to someone trying to court the reader

*Gender-neutral terms for reader are used

Synopsis: You attend an acquaintance's party with Jade and someone happens to have their eye on you

Word Count: 1437

----

Jade may be your butler, but he also performs a multitude of roles for you-- one of them is being your chaperone to parties such as this. 

If you were allowed to be honest, you weren't excited about this party at all. It was something you had to attend out of courtesy, trying to keep up the family image, yada yada. 

So, you chose to loiter in corners with Jade instead. 

Jade, with that ever so pleasant smile of his, follows you everywhere like a dog leashed to his master. He would, from time to time, lean down and whisper to you the names and titles of the other lords and ladies who wished to extend their greetings. 

You couldn't care less about those people, so you never remembered them. Jade knew this day would come, so he took it upon himself to memorize basic information on every single person you've met in the parties you've attended in the past. 

Honestly, where would you be without him? 

Jade practically knew everyone in the room, and that is why his vision dimmed when he spotted a certain lord walking towards your direction 

"Ah, a wonderful evening, (Name)! It is a fancy meeting you here," the man says, taking your hand to place a kiss on top of it. You were laughing albeit nervously, trying to be polite, but Jade caught the way your body tensed up a bit. 

Oh, how badly he wanted to drag you away from this situation. Alas, he was just a mere butler and could not risk tarnishing your honor all because of a servant's misconduct. He does value his reputation only for your sake. 

Instead, his smile grew wider when the lord sent a nonchalant nod of acknowledgement to his direction. It was the kind of close-eyed smile he did whenever he was cooking up sinister plans in his head. 

The lord in question was none other than a bothersome man who has been relentlessly pursuing you ever since that one party weeks ago. 

He has sent you many things. From flowers, to lengthy romantic letters and lavish gifts, Jade has seen them all and he could not be more than happy enough to throw them out for you everytime you exhaled a big sigh and asked for them to be removed.

"Have you been standing here like a wallflower all this time? Have some fun! Here, why don't we dance?" the lord offers a hand to you, clearly expecting that you would indulge his invitation. 

Instead, you stared at his open palm, and fiddled with your own hands. 

"L-look, my lord, I am terribly sorry but I don't think I can--" 

"Nonsense! It has been so long since I last gazed upon you. You will grant me the honor of spending a fraction of your night with you, yes?" He completely cut your words off, grabbing your hand and prepared to drag you off to the dance floor. Now this was exactly your problem with this suitor, he is most assertive and inconsiderate.

Your head immediately spun to Jade, eyes screaming for help. 

How. dare. he. 

This abominable swine. 

This display of utter disrespect to his master set Jade's blood at boiling point that with one swift movement, he came between you and this poor excuse of a gentleman. 

Jade's gentle hands are on your shoulders, his back facing the man as he blocks you from eyesight with his tall stature. Looking back at the young lord, Jade smiles again. 

"I apologize, my lord. My master has been feeling unwell." 

The man raises an eyebrow suspiciously as he tries to peer at you past your butler. 

"They seemed fine to-" 

"My goodness! (Name), you are looking a bit flushed. Here, let me check your temperature," Jade exclaims, his voice laced with worry and concern, and maybe a bit of exaggerated dramatization. But it was enough to baffle the man who staggered back in confusion. 

Jade removes a glove and places his bare hand on your forehead, giving him an excuse to lean down and come closer to your ear. He starts whispering abruptly. 

"Pretend to faint. Now, if you will excuse me," 

Before you could even ask him what was going on, Jade discreetly trips your leg with his foot and you find yourself falling to his arms. Remembering what he'd whispered, you close your eyes shut and pray that your acting was just as good as your butler's. 

"(Name)! A-are they alright?" The man frantically shuffles closer, but Jade heaves you into his arms and faces the other direction before the young lord could even touch you. 

"They will be fine, my lord. Perhaps the party’s atmosphere is starting to weigh down on them. I truly do apologize, but I need to take my master home. I worry for their health, you see" Jade sighed, his eyebrows creased with pretend concern as he cradles you closer to his chest. 

The man coughs and straightens his back. 

"O-of course! I value their health too. Yes, do see to it that they are returned home safely. Then, I shall head back.”

Oh, how unreliable, Jade thought. This young lord could only pretend to be dignified but can do no good for his master. He did not even ask to come and escort them out. If he was so worried, he would at least want to send off the person he is so romantically interested in?

As expected of a failed, incompetent gentleman. 

Men who are shaken by the slightest of troubles do not deserve a place in his master's life or heart. They would not be able to protect such a precious existence.

“Ah, before I forget…” Jade starts, halting the lord’s receding steps.

He meets the man’s eyes with a cold, unfeeling stare. Jade’s heterochromatic irises tore through the young lord’s gaze. A predator assessing its prey, preparing to lunge. It was enough to send shivers down the latter’s spine.  

“My master possesses a kind and fragile heart, and I often find this to be a weakness but–”

Jade pauses, feeling a slight pinch in the middle of his stomach just where your hand rested. How fond, he thought, sending you a second-long loving gaze before fixating an even more hostile glare at the young lord. His soul must certainly be terrified now.

“Allow me to say this in their stead. They would very much prefer it if you kept your distance from them. No, in fact, this is my suggestion: please refrain from contacting my master for the rest of your life, for your sake.”

Satisfied with himself, Jade smiles and politely bids the stunned, trembling lord a good night. 

Indeed, it was always fun disposing of hindrances for his master.

It was not only until the coast was clear, and you had been placed safely inside the carriage did you crack one eyelid open. 

Jade  claps his hands, his smile a pleasant one. 

"Splendid acting, my lady/lord." 

You rolled your eyes and shifted in your seat. 

"Please, I merely pretended to faint. It was you who did all the work, so thank you, Jade." 

"I am humbled by your words," Jade places a hand to his chest, bowing his head slightly. 

But still, so much for a party. You wanted to wait for dessert and it was the entire reason why you stuck around for so long. How disappointing. 

Jade, ever so attentive, sensed your low spirits and cleared his throat to get your attention. 

"For tonight's dessert after dinner, we will have (favorite dessert)." 

It was exactly the thing you have been waiting for at the party. You stared at him in surprise and started laughing. 

"Ah, really. What will I do without such a competent butler? This is why I like you, Jade!" 

Your butler smiled, not hiding how pleased he is by your sentiment. 

"I like you too." 

"What?" Your laughter died in a split-second and you stared at Jade with your eyes too wide and mouth agape.

Jade snickered. Mischief glimmered in his eyes at the sight of his lovely master looking like a deer caught in headlights. He does enjoy teasing you once in a while. 

He certainly wasn't taking advantage of the fact that you were so forgiving and lenient towards him. 

"For being an easily pleased and easily flustered master, that is. Fufu. I do enjoy simple people." 

Heat traveled up from your neck to your ears. Out of embarrassment or anger, you didn't know. But you swore you looked as red as a tomato right now. 

"Jade!" 

But maybe, just maybe, your loyal butler meant every single word after all.

[writing-fanics]

HIIII can you please do the bat and the cat fanfic? <3

.summary: Y/n Kyle, petty thief by day and interviewer by day, what happens when she meets, Bruce Wayne who she doesn’t know is Batman.

.warning: I suck at writing interviews: my best at sexual tension . spoilers for the movie

a/n: there's just something about (Y/n) that brings a smile to bruce's face

(Y/n) smiled as she looked at, Bruce Wayne. "You've denied every other, interviewer. Except me." She asked, tilting her head to the side. "Why's that?" She asked, curiously.

He shrugged in response, "Hm, now. I'm not like those other interviewers asking the same questions." She said, sitting up in the chair. "So no need to worry. I'm not going to ask, anything about marriage." She says.

"So cats or dogs?" She asked. He looked at her confused raising his left eyebrow. He's never been asked that question before in an interview. "I'm not really a pet person," He replied, and she nodded.

"But, if you were which one would you choose?" She asked, and he looked at her, noticing every cat-like feature. "Hm, cats." He replied, and her smile grew.

"I'm with ya' right there. Cats are amazing." She chuckled and looked off to the side thinking of another question to ask.

"Favorite band?" She asked, gripping her journal. "Nirvana." He replied, and she chuckled softly, "Old school, I like it." She replied.

Tilting her head to the side, "Favorite song?" She asked, he chuckled softly. "Guess," He said, and she scoffed. "Hm, Smells Like Teen Spirit?" She asked, and he shook his head.

"Nope,"

"Come as You Are?"

"Nope."

"Lithium?"

He shook his head, and she sighed. "Oh, In Bloom?" She said, and he smiled as he shook his head. "It's, Something in the Way." He said, and she scoffed rolling her eyes. "Great song," She replied, smiling. "I really wish we had more time, Mr. Wayne." She said, closing up her journal.

"But, don't worry your pretty little head. I might already be scheduling our next interview." She winked at him, and he smiled. "See ya' next time, Mr. Wayne." She purred.

....

(Y/n) smiled as she opened the safe revealing the countless, priceless gems. She opened her satchel and began shoving them into the bag quietly. Her nose twitched and she groaned in annoyance, "Shit," She groaned, as she turned around.

Seeing the familiar masked vigilante, she folded her arms across her chest. "Hey, some of us have to make a living somehow." She said, and he walked closer to her not saying a word. "We always seem to cross paths," She said, looking at him and he stared at her, "Because your a thief." He said, and she followed her arms across her chest, "I've gotta make a living somehow." She replied, as she slowly backed her way towards the window.

"Come on, Bats. It ain't stealing if it was already stolen." She said, smiling. The two then started to fight, both of them dodging each other's blows. Eventually, she wrapped her legs around his waist, and he pinned her against the table.

"Whoa, you haven't even taken me out for dinner." She joked, smiling at him. "You're enjoying this," She smirked, and he stared at her, as she looked into his eyes she titled her head, "Haven't I seen you somewhere?" She asked, curiously as she looked at him.

[hepalien]

Ao3 Tips and Tricks

So I thought I would make a post about some cool stuff you can do with Ao3 and userscripts, and some tips I’ve learned from setting them up for myself! I promise it's not hard, though this is a lot of info. I'm happy to help if I can.

What You’ll Need:

First, you will need the Tampermonkey extension for your browser (depending on what browser you use, Greasemonkey is the equivalent). On Android, you can even run Chrome extensions on mobile with Kiwi Browser! It is easiest to configure the scripts on your desktop and then sync to mobile with Tampermonkey’s cloud sync feature or by exporting the configured scripts and importing in your mobile browser (I will explain how to do this later in the post). If you use any of the tweaks I outline below, be sure to backup your scripts in case your settings are lost.

Once you have Tampermonkey installed, you can get scripts from GreasyFork. The inimitable @flamebyrd also has some great scripts and bookmarklets and has been incredibly helpful while I figured all this out.

Find a script that looks interesting, click on it, and then click “install this script.” Pretty straightforward. Once you have it installed, you can go to Tampermonkey to configure it (only necessary for some scripts) by clicking on the Tampermonkey extension icon in your browser (under the three dot menu in Kiwi) and clicking “dashboard”, then clicking the edit icon next to the script you want to configure. When you’re done, click File->Save.

Scripts and instructions under the cut

Some of my favorites:

Flamebyrd’s Incomplete Works script - fades out WIPs on works listings, and displays the work stats (wordcount, chapters, etc) in red on single works to make it more obvious that they’re WIPs as you’re browsing:

Flamebyrd’s Ao3 to Pinboard bookmarklet/script - if you click the bookmarklet while on a work’s page, it opens the Pinboard save screen and prefills the title, tags, description, word count, etc, and adds ?view_full_work=true&view_adult=true to the URL so Pinboard’s archiver will archive the complete work and not the adult content warning screen (note that Pinboard still cannot correctly archive works locked to Ao3 users, so you may want to download them as a backup. I’ve asked him about fixing that.), based on your selections when configuring the bookmarklet on the linked page. If you use the userscript, it adds a button to the works listings page so you don’t even have to open the work to save it:

I tweaked this script so that it only grabs the first pairing tag, since I don’t typically care about secondary pairings and they were clogging up my Pinboard tags. It’s a simple fix (though I know nothing about coding so I had to do some googling and inspect-sourcing; kinda proud of myself tbh):

Just change this part of the script

if ( options.relationship_include ) {

- $(".relationships a.tag", $work).each(function () {

To this

if ( options.relationship_include ) {

- $(".relationships a.tag:first", $work).each(function () {

I also found this cool mobile-optimized Pinboard bookmarklet called Pincushion and combined it with Flamebyrd’s script. Everything works except the auto-tagging, but I’ve reached out on GitHub to see if he can help (according to Flamebyrd, there’s no tag field ID attribute to map to). However, this bookmarklet has tagging autocomplete features that make it easy to tag manually. For example, if you type “steve 21st” it will suggest “steverogersvsthe21stcentury” rather than having to type out “steverogersvs…” in order for it to autocomplete like it does on the regular Pinboard bookmarklet. I actually have two buttons set up (which you can see in the next screenshot) - Flamebyrd's to quickly grab the tags and close without me having to do anything, and then the Pincushion one to quickly edit the tags. If anyone's interested, I can explain how to do that.

To combine Pincushion with Flamebyrd’s script (so it works from the Ao3 works listings page as mentioned above), simply change this part of Flamebyrd’s script:

t = t.split(" ").join( options.space_replacement );

var pb_url = "https://pinboard.in/add?url=" + encodeURIComponent(q) + "&description=" + encodeURIComponent(d) + "&title=" + encodeURIComponent(p) + "&tags=" + encodeURIComponent(t);

void(open(pb_url, "Pinboard", "toolbar=no,width=700,height=350"));

To this

t = t.split(" ").join( options.space_replacement );

var pb_url = "https://rossshannon.github.io/pincushion/?user=YOURUSERNAME&token=YOURAPITOKEN&url=" + encodeURIComponent(q) + "&description=" + encodeURIComponent(d) + "&title=" + encodeURIComponent(p) + "&tags=" + encodeURIComponent(t);

void(open(pb_url, "Pinboard", "toolbar=yes,width=600,height=700,left=50,top=50"));

You’ll need to get your API Token from your Pinboard account and plug it in where it says YOURUSERNAME and YOURAPITOKEN (number part only) above.

FanFictionNavigator - mark fics as Like/Dislike/Mark/InLibrary, highlight with colors based on which option you select, hide/show based on category, like/dislike author and highlight with color. Only you will see how you've marked things.

You can tweak the colors for the highlighting by configuring the script (I find the default colors make the text hard to read because I use the Reversi skin on Ao3 for white-ish text on a gray background). I also changed it so that when I click “hide likes” it only hides liked fics and not liked authors (i.e. hides fics I’ve read, but not unread fics by authors I like), changed the color of the like/dislike/etc links to match the highlighting color and to show up better, and changed the way it highlights authors (I think the default is bold/strikethrough which doesn't really catch my eye. I changed it to highlight the author name in red/green):

Here are my configured scripts if you’d like to use them instead of tweaking yourself (you need to install both):

FanFictionNavigator

FanFictionNavigator - Colors

Note: Your settings for this script will sync via Tampermonkey but not your data (i.e. fics you’ve liked/marked/etc). If you ever switch between browsers, you’ll need to go to your Ao3 Dashboard and click FFNOptions, export your data, then go through the same process to import it into the new browser.

AO3: Kudosed and seen history - highlight or hide works you kudosed/bookmarked/marked as seen. If you want to use this with FanFictionNavigator, you’ll need to turn off “highlight bookmarks” from the settings under the “Seen Works” dropdown that gets added to your Ao3 navbar or FFN’s colors won’t show. Again, data doesn’t sync between browsers but you can copy it from the dropdown settings. However, it pulls your kudosed and bookmarked fics from Ao3 itself, so that will always show. It's just seen/skipped that doesn't sync:

Ao3 download buttons - adds a download button to the works listings page so you don’t have to open the fic to download it. However, it also doesn’t play nicely with FFN’s colors, so I’m using AO3 Review + Last Chapter Shortcut + Kudos-sortable Bookmarks script which also has a download button that works with FFN (a small down arrow next to the author name). The download button doesn’t work as-is from that link, so here’s my tweaked version based off of this comment. You can configure what format you want it to download by default in the script. There’s also a tweak in the comments to fix kudos-sorting, but it overloads Ao3 and you get a “retry later” error for a few minutes when you try to open Ao3, so I don’t recommend it. I don’t know if any of the other functionalities of the script work because I don’t use them, but it looks like there are tweak suggestions in other comments you can try:

I was using Ao3 Replace Words to replace words in fics that bug me but I realized it wasn’t working on mobile, so I’m using zensurf instead which is not Ao3-specific but works basically the same way. If you want to limit it to just Ao3 (so it doesn’t change words on non-fic sites), just add this

// @include http://archiveofourown.org/*

// @include https://archiveofourown.org/*

Above this line

// ==/UserScript==

(function() {

You can // @include other fic sites like ffnet that way too.

AO3: Links to Last Chapter and Entire Works does what it says on the tin, but the creator was kind enough to give me a code snippet to add that makes the “E” (for Entire Work) appear next to all works and add ?view_full_work=true&view_adult=true to the work URL so that I can easily right-click and share to Instapaper and have it be saved correctly (not just the first chapter but the whole work + not the content warning screen for NR/M/E works). Here is the script with this tweak applied:

I think those are the only ones that I’ve done special tweaks for. Here are some others that I find useful that either don’t require any configuration, or should be pretty straightforward to configure and are explained on the script page.

AO3 author+tags quick-search - doesn’t require configuration

Generates quick links from AO3 fics to more by the same author in the same fandom (or character/pairing/any other tag):

Remove leading spaces in AO3 - doesn’t require config

Removes the leading indents for paragraphs in AO3 works.

Ao3 Only Show Primary Pairing - you have to enter the pairings you want in the script, and you can change how early in the sequence they must appear before the work is hidden. Also works with character tags.

Hides works where specified pairing isn't the first listed. Hidden works show a placeholder that you can click to unhide:

AO3: highlight tags - have to enter the tags you want highlighted, as well as the color you want. It matches case so you may have to enter both “Dog” and “dog”, for example.

Configure tags to be highlighted with different colors. This makes a tag more obvious to your eye when browsing. I use it to highlight things I’m wary of in red so I don’t miss them and start reading a fic I might not want.

AO3: Tag Hider - configure how many tags you want to see before it hides them

Hide tags automatically when there are too many tags. Add hide/show tags button to browsing page and reading page.

AO3 Remove Double-Spacing - no config

Removes awkward double spaces between paragraphs on AO3. Doesn’t smush together paragraphs that have a single line break - it leaves those alone.

ao3 series collapser - no config

Collapse works that are later than part 1 of a series. Leaves a placeholder so you can uncollapse if you want to see it.

AO3 Blocker - no config, but you enter what you want to block from the added navbar dropdown in Ao3

Fork of ao3 savior; blocks works based on certain conditions. I find this simpler to use than Ao3 savior.

FYI there are also style scripts for Pinboard on greasyfork and userstyles.org (this site is slow af for some reason, so be patient while it loads). I use show unread bookmarks more clearly and Modern Pinboard Style (basically a dark mode). Neither require config unless you just want to tweak the settings to your liking. To install to Tampermonkey from userstyles, scroll down to “Install style as userscript”.

I also use these extensions in Kiwi:

Ao3rdr - Adds a star rating system (pictured in some of the screenshots above) to Ao3 works that only you can see. This one will sync your data between devices if you use the cloud sync option, which I recommend so you don’t lose your data if something happens to your device or browser.

Dark Reader - not really necessary for Ao3 if you use Reversi skin, but does make all browser pages dark mode if you want it on sites other than Ao3.

Speaking of Ao3 skins, I have another one set up in conjunction with Reversi that shows all the fandoms on a user’s profile, rather than having to click “expand”:

Unfortunately, I can’t remember where I found this. To set it up yourself, go to your Ao3 -> Dashboard -> Skins -> Create Site Skin, fill in the Title (has to be unique), and paste the code below in the CSS box:

#user-fandoms ol.index {

padding-bottom: 0;

text-align: center;

}

#user-fandoms ol.index li {

display: inline;

margin-right: .5em;

line-height: 2.15em;

}

#user-fandoms ol#fandom_full_list {

padding-top: 0;

padding-bottom: 1.5em;

display: block !important;

}

#user-fandoms p.actions {

display: none;

}

Then hit Submit -> Use. There are ways to hide or highlight various elements (ships, characters, blurbs, work stats, etc) on a works listing page using skins on Ao3. This is getting long so I’m not going to go into that, but I’m happy to help if you want to try it. It’s very easy.

Once you have everything configured on Tampermonkey on your desktop, you can migrate it to your mobile device in one of two ways:

Option 1: Go to Tampermonkey settings and change Config Mode to Advanced

Go down to Script Sync and select your preferred cloud service and save

It will ask you to log in to said cloud service

Install Tampermonkey in Kiwi and do the same thing

Wait for it to sync (this can be slow)

It should sync any changes you make moving forward, but again, it’s slow

Option 2: go to Utilities and check all 3 checkboxes under general (include script storage, include Tampermonkey settings, include external script resources)

Either export to your preferred cloud service or

Export as a zip file, move it to your mobile device, go to this same screen and import

I would recommend exporting as a zip for a backup even if you don’t use it to migrate your scripts

You can unzip and upload individual script files (.js) on this page if you ever need to reinstall a single script with your settings instead of all of them

Let me know if you run into any issues and I can try to help! The script writers are also super nice and helpful if you reach out to them. Yay fandom!

[peachyysugaa]

strawberry

― mukbang youtuber!nishimura riki x gn!reader

riki's at it again, and by it, i mean microwaving foods.

genre: humor, fluff, established relationship

wc: 1.2k

warnings: cw food/eating

part of my youtuber enhypen series, the 2nd upload! feel free to read on its own~ ♞──────────────────────────♞

"y/n! i'm warning you, i'm going live!" riki shouts from the living room.

"alright! i'll stay here, let me know when you're done!" his s/o replies in the same volume.

"okay!"

this was a frequent occurrence: you come over to riki's place, the two of you hang out, he needs to film something for an hour or so, you give him space, he finishes, and the two of you cuddle after. while some of your friends question your boyfriend and your lifestyle with him, you really wouldn't have it any other way. 2 and a half years of dating riki, you've been through it all together, so there's no push for a something different or more.

"okay... let's wait for a while, yeah?" riki directs to his audience, watching the chat feed slowly increase in comments. when it seems like enough people have shown up, a smile breaks out on his face. "hey everyone, it's me again!

"you probably already read the title, but yea, imma do it." he points the camera down to the array of strawberry items that will soon be put in the microwave. "i don't know how people eat cold strawberries—they have no flavor to them!"

you scoff to yourself when he says that, shaking the digital trees on your island for fruits to sell.

"try one to see if you like it?" riki reads out loud. "eyyy, if i don't like it, i don't, but i'll prove it to you anyway if there's anyone new watching."

true to his word, the cold strawberry goes right into his mouth, and he makes a face, the camera picking it up. you don't need to watch the live to know that your boyfriend's nose is all scrunched up right now, making you giggle at the thought of it in the next room.

"now that you know," he continues, holding up a plate of strawberries. "i'll be microwaving these now."

the microwave opens and shuts before making its beeping noises as riki presses the numbers and heats them up for a couple of seconds. when they're ready, he's quick to get them out and show them to the camera before enjoying the taste of the warm strawberries.

"mm!" you roll your eyes at the sound of his satisfaction. his dog bisco has made its way into the room and plops next to your side, you gladly petting the curly fur at some points.

after a couple minutes, it seems riki has finished the warm strawberries, because he's moving onto the next item: tanghulu-style strawberries.

"you all said that you wanted me to eat this, and since it's already—" he takes this moment to tap the crystal sugary shell. "like this, i guess i'll just dive right in."

the sounds of delightful crunching can be heard, not unnoticed by bisco, whose head tilts at the eating sounds. you chuckle lightly, scratching its head and making the dog lay its head back down.

"ohh, i know why you all wanted me to eat this," riki acknowledges. "it's like asmr, okay, okay."

he lowers his voice and starts speaking like the asmr videos he's seen with you. "i think i'll microwave it just to taste," he whispers into the mic.

with that, the same microwave sounds of beeps and doors are repeated. "oh shoot, the sugar is making it stick to the plate," riki comments with a laugh, making you snort quietly. "i'll just..." he trails off, using a fork to free the sugary treat from the plate before plopping it into its mouth.

"oh! i like this better too! sorry, no crunching sounds for you," he laughs at the disappointed comments who wanted to hear the satisfying crunch of the tanghulu. "alright, next up... strawberry jam!"

instead of the usual glass jar it resides in, riki lifts up several small packages taken from food places as condiments. "i didn't wanna buy a whole jar—the tanghulu was expensive for no reason! plus, these are free, what can go wrong with free things?" a lot, apparently.

as by routine, he lifts up the wrap of the packaging and punches the back of it to immediately taste the jam. "hmm... it's alright, i guess."

riki lifts his head to read a comment. "huh? what's wrong with taking it straight like that? you know, jay hyung does worse, right?"

you giggle to yourself at the mention of one of his youtuber hyungs as you continue multitasking and listening.

"oh yeah, that reminds me. he did a video with his s/o, it was soo funny!" the youtuber laughs. "poor hyung, he said the manuca honey was so bad, he didn't want to eat honey for a week! go check out his channel after this and watch the video.~

"well, jay hyung needs to thank me for his free promo or whatever. it's time to microwave this noww," riki continues. it's going like normal: the microwave door opening and closing, the beeps of setting the time. but then it isn't. after a couple of seconds of heating, some loud pops are heard, and riki is shouting and laughing at the same time.

you and bisco shoot up and immediately rush to the scene. "riki! what is going on?!"

he turns around with a sheepish smile just as the microwave beeps to signal its end. pointing at the microwave, you notice the stains of strawberry jam on the door and groan out. you walk towards the kitchen and open one of the cabinets to take out the cleaning supplies, failing to notice that you had walked in front of the camera.

the comments go crazy with questions, and riki realizes he hadn't turned off his live, connecting the dots. he's quick to pull you into the frame with a beaming smile on his face. "well, this isn't the best way to go about it, but since you accidentally revealed yourself, i guess i'll say it: this is my s/o y/n, everyone!"

you blink owlishly, clutching the clorox wipes close to your chest with riki's arm around your shoulder. "huh?" you ask before the lightbulb in your head goes off. "ohhh! oh my gosh, hi?!"

you and riki had talked about the subject of your reveal before, but the how was always the reason you had never done it. with the accident, you guess this was the how now. you're laughing with riki at the whole situation as the comments flood with how cute the two of you are together. "riki! we need to clean the microwave before your parents come back," you playfully scold.

"oh right," he agrees before turning back to the camera. "well, two-in-one, everyone: strawberry mukbang goes wrong and my s/o revealed! see you next time!"

the two of you wave to the camera as the audience wishes you farewell and riki finally shuts off the live.

"you're a mess," you tease him, getting an eye roll in response.

"yeah, yeah, let's just clean up, okay?"

"how does this even happen? what physics is this?" you wonder aloud, opening the microwave to start cleaning.

"huh, maybe i have jake hyung's next idea for a video."

a/n: i wrote this in 20 minutes how 😀 i hope you all enjoyed this it's been a while since i wrote for riki hehe but i still judge him for warm strawberries LOL

[deexchanel]

New York

Word Count: 2,655

Pairing: Avengers x BlackFem!Reader. Justice League x BlackFem!Reader but more specifically Clark Kent x BlackFem!Reader.

Warning: Arguing, mention of miscarriage, angst.

Summary: After not being in contact for so long, someone decides to make a visit.

A/N: The title has nothing to do with the one short. Oops. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy!😁 below is Y/N’s outfit for the first half.

A long day after helping the team on their mission, Y/N wanted some pizza. It was around 10 p.m. when she decided to leave the tower. Tony was asleep in the chair, Steve was asleep on the couch. Natasha and Bucky were on the floor watching a movie. Thor was rummaging through the refrigerator, he was watching the movie as well but stopped to get some snacks.

Loki was in the library reading a book. Peter was on patrol so that’s why she felt safe with being out so late. “Loki I’m leaving to get some pizza okay?” He closed his book, preparing to stand up.

“Alright, I’m going with you.”

Y/N placed a hand on his chest so he could stay sitting. “ I want to go by myself Loki. I’m going to be perfectly fine, Peter’s patrolling right now.”

Loki sigh trying to push down his overprotective feeling. “Alright, just be careful. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Y/N hummed kissing his forehead, she then walked to the living. Everyone in their same position except Thor was now back on the floor.

Y/N kissed each of their foreheads, “I’m going to go get some pizza. Anyone wants anything?”

Natasha shook her head,“ No, be careful though. I really want to pause this good movie to save your ass.” Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, grabbing her purse from the hook.

“Bring me back some pizza? I’m rather hungry.” Thor said with his eyes glued to the tv.

“You’re always hungry Thor. Bring me some too. Better yet, why don’t I just come.” Y/N heard shuffling from behind her. She wanted to take a peaceful by herself to get pizza, is that too hard to ask? “No Bucky, I want to go by myself. I can handle it.”

She turns around to see him looking at her hesitantly. “You sure Y/N? I don’t mind coming-”

“I got it, really. Go enjoy the movie Bucky. I’ll be right back.” Y/N cut him off, walking out of the door. Bucky stood there dumbfounded, “Is she acting weird or it’s just me?” He pointed to the door, looking at Natasha and Thor.

“She seems alright with me.” Natasha shrugged and Thor didn’t reply.

Y/N took a deep breath hearing the new york life sparkle in her ears. Taxis coming and going. The roar of the subway beneath Y/N’s feet. Everyone talking but still being able to hear your own conversation.

Lights flashing brightly, babies crying, the homeless constantly asking for money. The smell of 1,000 vendors, many selling gyros. Broadway fans going insane when their favorite cast member walks out of the stage door. People of every race, color, and religion.

“Finally,” Y/N mumbled after a good minute of walking, she arrived at the pizza store on the corner. She ordered and stood in line for 15 minutes then left with 5 boxes of pizza. Stopping at the park, Y/N sat on a bench eating pizza enjoying the night air.

Y/N was happy with life but sometimes a person just wants to be alone. A little part of her misses the old lifestyle she had. Bruce, Barry, Diane, Victor, and Arthur. She missed them so much, especially Clark but he was the last person she wanted to see.

They were old lovers, at one time there wasn't a thing Clark wouldn't do for Y/N. Time skip, Y/N found out she was pregnant but due to stress from Clark, she miscarried. No one knew because of the genuine smile she held on her face. He was probably so caught up with Lois to not notice that she'd been gone for a year now.

She loved Clark, Y/N was his best friend. Lois came into the picture and he dropped everything just for her. Heartbroken, Y/N came to new york searching for happiness. She found it in the avengers who she now calls family.

Today was the anniversary of her baby and she just wanted to be alone. She was alone when it happened so she rather be alone now. Y/N stared off into space not even hearing someone land beside her. You read right, land.

"Y/N?"

The deep voice took her out of her gaze. Y/N turned to see Clark in his superman attire. Shocked, she could barely get anything out. "...Clark??"

Clark's face held worry," Y/N..." Y/N furrow her eyebrow confused cutting him off.

"What are you doing here Clark?"

"I can't come to see you now? Y/N I haven't seen you in months."

"Clark I don't wanna talk about that right now. I want to know how did you know I was here??" Y/N stood up, placing her unfinished pizza in the box. She couldn't even enjoy alone time without being bothered.

"Bruce's been track you this whole time Y/N. Come home, we miss you. I miss you." He reached out for her hands. Surprisingly Y/N let him grab her hands. She shook her head.

"Clark I can't just leave. I have a life and family here. You have Lois now, that's who you need. Not me."

Clark looked down," She left me Y/N. Lois said me being superman was too much."Y/N sigh knowing how to hurt he was. Yes, she was mad at him but sometimes not everything needs a reaction. Keeping it calm, she gave him a hug.

"I'm so sorry Clark, I should've been there for you."

Clark held her close smelling her wonderful smell of lavender. "It's okay Y/N. I know this life is treating you well."

Y/N could feel that it was getting late. "Clark I have to go, but I do have to ask you something." He pulled back glazing into her brown eyes.

"What is it Y/N?"

"Tomorrow evening bring the team to the tower. I want everyone to meet each other. I'll cook! It'll be so much fun."

Clark looked at her with hesitation, "I don't know Y/N.."

Y/N gave him the puppy dog eyes, "Please Clark? You get to see me in a nice outfit." He smiled giving in.

"Oh alright."

-------

"A little bit of this," Y/N murmured pouring grated cheese on top of the macaroni. She placed it in the oven, closing the door with her butt. Dinner consisted of steak with tarragon mushrooms with a side of macaroni. Y/N had been in the kitchen all day while the team did their overview with Fury for missions they have done.

"Smells amazing in here Y/N! What you make?" Steve's voice came from behind while she grabbed plates out of the cabinet. "Food Steve. You'll see when it's dinner time and if you don't mind, can you help me set the table?"

Steve nodded his head with a smile, "Sure I don't mind Y/N." The two joked around while they set the table. Clark and everyone were to be here in about 20 minutes. When she got home from the park last night, Y/N told the avengers about this evening dinner, and boy it was some weird faces.

She didn't know who was harder to convince, Tony or Steve. Maybe because they had been on the team longer. Once finished Y/N ushered Steve to go get dressed. She was so caught up with finishing the meal, that she didn't check the time. "Fuck!"

It was 10 minutes until Clark and the rest got there. She was nowhere near ready. "Y/N why aren't you ready?" Tony asked in disbelief when he walked into the kitchen. Y/N pulled at her hair.

"I know, I know! I was too caught up in finishing the steaks. Can you watch the food so it won't burn? please?"

Tony sigh,"If that makes you get dressed faster then I'll watch it." He opened the lid, the food smelled amazing. "Yeah hurry up, this smells good. I'm ready to eat."

"Thank you!" She kissed his cheek, rushing past so can get dressed.

---------

"Y/N they're here!" Steve called up the stairs. Y/N hopped around on one foot trying to put on the other boot. When it finally slid on her foot, she stood in front of a mirror taking a deep breath. She wanted all her favorite people to come together and be her support. To make her forget about the pain she went through a year ago yesterday.

Y/N walked downstairs with all eyes on her. Clark's mouth was agape from how good she looked. "Arthur! Diana! I've missed you guys!" Y/N hugged her with passion.

"Me too. You look beautiful." Diana hugged her back. Y/N moved towards Arthur giving him a hug. "Thank you."

"Yeah you look too good, don't make me have to beat anyone up from looking too hard." Thor snorted which made Arthur glance at him for a second. Y/N moved to Bruce.

"I hope you're doing good Bruce other than Barry getting on your nerves."

"Hey!" Barry said in defense.

"I'm good, just missed having you around."Bruce expressed which kinda shocked Y/N because he wasn't so open. She then gave Victor and Barry a hug. "I've missed you, two knuckleheads, together."

"We've missed you too." Victor smiled.

"What are we eating, it smells so good in here," Barry said excitedly. Y/N laughing gesturing towards the dining table. "We're about to find out, let's eat!"

Everyone cheered a bit sitting at the table, you know they didn't mingle but sat on the opposite side. Y/N walked over to the stove trying to bring the food to the table but Natasha stopped her.

"I got it Y/N, go sit down. You've been on your feet all day, I can bring the food to the table." Natasha grabbed the glass casserole dish out of her hand. She wasn't lying about her feet hurting but Y/N wasn't going to admit it.

Y/N sigh, "Fine, I'm bringing the champagne to the table though." She hurriedly grabbed two bottles of champagne before Natasha could protest. She definitely needed a sip before dealing with two rival heroes.

----------

There were conversations here and there but most of Y/N. She had all her favorite people in one room. Dinner was running smoothly until...

"So Y/N, Clark told us that you were coming back to stay permanently. I'm excited to have you back." Barry used his knife to cut the steak. Y/N didn't know who to look at crazy him or Clark. She could feel the hard glaze from Bucky.

"What's speedy boy talking about Y/N?" Tony asked tilting his head. Steve sat down his knife.

"Yes please do explain."

"I uh haven't said anything like that. I had planned on visiting, it wasn't official." Y/N scratched her arm out of nervousness from all eyes on her.

"I knew I wasn't going insane. Y/N wasn't going to go back permanently, she's not that crazy." Thor chuckled drinking his champagne.

Victor glanced at him sideways."What's that supposed to mean? Y/N wouldn't be crazy if she came back permanently. That's honestly the perfect decision if she does."

"Guys.." Y/N trailed off but was ignored by everyone. "Y/N is right where she belongs. Do I need to say more?" Loki wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"If she wants to come back permanently then she can. Y/N's only been with you guys for what ? a year? She's been with us forever so you know who she's going to choose." Arthur leaned back in the seat.

"Sure fish boy." Tony let his smart mouth get the best of him. Y/N took a sip of her champagne to calm her nerves.

"Guys..."

She was ignored again. "Y/N is coming with us and that's final. That's the only reason why I came to this wretched place was for her." Clark crossed his arm and Bucky narrowed his eyes at him.

"She's not going anywhere with you. I stand on that."

"Barnes right, you think I was going to let her leave with you after what you did? That's really funny." Natasha chugged the rest of her champagne down. Y/N winced at what she said.

"Guys please."

"Does that matter? Y/N is coming whether you like it or not." Bruce said setting his fork down. Diana nodded in agreement.

"I don't have to anything. Just know I'm not going down without a fight?"

"You people are so petty and tiny." Thor laughed using his fingers to indicate how small they were.

"If Y/N doesn't want to leave she isn't going to leave. it's her decision." Steve sat forward in his seat. They were getting louder by the minute.

"She isn't going, you weaklings," Loki growled sitting forward in his seat as well, not taking eyes off Arthur. Both Clark and Bucky held an intense stare.

"We should go few rounds." Tony stood up and so did Bruce.

"Let's do it then Stark."

Y/N chugged down the rest of the champagne. "Stop." The argument between them grew louder. "Stop!" Y/N stood up placing her hands on the table, no one noticed.

She slammed her hands against the table. "STOP! JUST STOP IT!" Everyone stared at her in shock.

"ENOUGH WITH THIS! I brought you altogether because I wanted support. I needed support."Y/N gritted through her teeth, tears welling in her eyes. "The one time I step out, you all can't even put your petty egos aside. I don't care who I'm staying with and I don't fucking know why it's an argument. I just wanted it to be a normal night."

Y/N lips trembled as she cried, "I can't hold on to this no longer. I was pregnant before I left Clark. I lost the baby. I lost it the day I went to find out the gender." Clark squeezed his eyes closed, his heart broke hearing the news. "And I hate myself so much for even letting myself stress so much that I lost it. When it happened I was alone. I didn't have you, Bruce, or Diana. I didn't have no one. I came to New York heartbroken."

She looked at the Avengers, they held a sad face. Natasha's cheeks were coated with tears."You guys mended my broken heart. You made me feel welcome and I don't know how I could ever repay you." Y/N wiped her tears.

"But I can't deal with this between all of you. I'm leaving so you can have your big ego contest."

She slid the chair back, walking to the elevator. "Y/N!" Bucky called for her but she ignored him. "Shit!" Clark curses under his breath getting up from the chair. Tony shook his head at him.

"Leave her be Clark. She probably went up to the roof or to the park for fresh air."

------------

Y/N sat in the chair at the airport. She was only going out of the country for a couple of days just to clear her mind. Bruce and Tony have been blowing up her phone none stop. She was tired and waiting on her flight to be called. "Ugh, I'm so tired." She mumbled rubbing her temple. She got up going to the bathroom.

It was oddly quiet until she heard panicked screams. "What?" She murmured looking over her shoulder. Parademons were everywhere. Y/N scrambled to grab her phone trying to be quiet. She slid down the wall, covering her mouth trying to contain her breathing so she wouldn't be heard. The vibration from her phone caught one of their attention and she didn't know.

Still scrambling, Y/N declined the call somehow. She knew she was fucked, tears raced down her melanin cheeks as she held her breath. The parademons appeared beside Y/N, one inspected making sure she was the right one. It snatched Y/N up and she screamed.

"CLARK!"

--------

The two teams were either sitting around or cleaning up. Clark stood in front of the wet dishes drying them off while Bucky cleaned them. He froze hearing Y/N scream in his ears. Diana noticed and instantly spoke up.

"What is Clark? What's wrong?"

"Y/N's been kidnapped."

-------

Omg, I feel like this is so weird😂😂😂. I am going to make a part 2 I just gotta think about how it's going to go. I have a busy weekend ahead so I won't update until Monday.

Yk i had to make Y/N damsel in distress 😉. Clark is her lover but Bucky does like her. This is kinda a part 2 of Vacation. I love Marvel and DC so why not put them together 😁!

I hope you guys enjoyed this weird post even though the title has nothing to do with the plot of the story, I just couldn't think of anything 😂😂.

Stay slutty my friends 💜

[variousqueerthings]

daniel rambles

thinking about the scene in which Daniel allegedly tells Johnny about TKK3. The problem is that the show doesn't present Daniel's POV, while it tends to paint other peoples' motivations and flawed narratives with a very clear brush, so unless you've obsessively watched TKK3 like... some of us, you'd be taking his words as fact

I assume however, that it's practically 1-2-1 what he told Sam and co (as in, barely anything and what he does say is only the truth if you squint), with the added part about only having to fight the final fight

***

1. "I wanted to fight at the All-Valley tournament the year after I beat you, but Mr Miyagi didn't approve" (not a lie, Daniel thinks. That was why I decided to burn the application form, Daniel doesn't let himself remember)

2. "There was this new rule, where I only had to fight the final match, so I figured it wouldn't be too bad" (there was a time afterwards where he wondered if Silver had rigged it like that, just like he'd rigged everything else. It made sense, if the goal was for him to fight Barnes... he probably wouldn't have made it to the final fight otherwise. He was never that good... they couldn't risk it being a fluke that first year)

3. "Miyagi and I fought, because he refused to train me. I was selfish" (He was selfish, wasn't he? He wanted to fight, didn't he? Sure there was... all of that... before he signed it... but Miyagi always had a good reason for everything, he should have trusted him more, he shouldn't have shut him out like that)

4. "So I joined Cobra Kai, because Silver he... offered..." (and he was nice and tall and strong and protected him and he got him, played around and told him he was good at karate. But he should've known better, he should've seen it)

5. "And he trained me, but it was all a lie. He..." (made him punch boards until his knuckles bled. He acted in a way that... as if... and Daniel fell for it -- and Silver he'd... enjoyed it. He'd liked how Daniel reacted to him)

6. "It sucked, okay. It turned out he was working with Kreese the whole time, to trick me. They'd set me up to lose in the finals against this guy called Barnes" (Barnes was different, somehow. Johnny had been a messed up kid. Chozen had been so hurt, he'd wanted to die. But Barnes was Silver's attack dog)

7. "So that's when Mr Miyagi agreed to take me back. And after I beat Barnes, I never saw Silver again... until today" (get it out as quickly as possible, none of it a lie)

There. Easy to get out, barely anything to tell and Johnny will understand that Silver was differe-

"So let me get this straight, a year after our title fight they put you straight through to the finals? That's bullshit."

No, no, no, no - trust Johnny to focus on the wrong thing. "That's not the point, I'm telling you, Silver knows how to fight. I'm serious. I've seen his methods, I know how his warped mind works. The game has changed and we need to change with it." Breathe. "Which is why I need to take over our students' training from now on..."

He'll get it. He'll understand.

[featherssideblog]

Feathers Reacts: Motorcity - Episode 14 - Like Father, Like Daughter

Ohhhh yess here comes Julie + angst. I know it from the title, and I am so ready.

Episode 14 Thoughts:

Dutch: Kane! Ooh, if I had him here . . . Mike: Oh yeah? Go on, I wanna hear this. What would you do to Kane if you had him in your hands right now? >:) Ohhhh Mike, you've expertly distracted Dutch from his frustration with Texas, but this is a side of you I don't think we've seen before. Actively relishing in violent fantasies, while possibly cathartic in certain circumstances, is not something I expected you to encourage.

And how violent they are! Behold Texas's mildly horrifying fantasy of piñata Kane with his candy-filled guts exploded all over the place. Um.

And now we get a little Burners version of the superhero team shot, perfect!

Mike: staff (with plasma chainsaws?) Julie: plasma boomerang Chuck: plasma slingshot attached to his arm? Texas: gun-chucks, of course Dutch: a gun, I think? sci-fi gun, for sure, but just a gun

JULIE ACTION SHOT! YEAH!!

I know that cars=freedom is the whole premise of the show, but it still cracks me up a little bit. Car burnings. XD

Julie with the lethally cute puppy-dog eyes :)

Aaaaaand Kane is not immune.

I love that we get the comedy trope of "cartoonishly evil villain is a loving father," but it's being played straight by leaning into the perspective of the villain's child - so it becomes much more drama than comedy.

Julie flopping on the bed is a whole Mood

Mike: Nice duds. Red: New tailor. Goes by the name of . . . Kane. Mike: Sorry to hear that. :) You never struck me as a chump! The writers for this show have such a particular tone, or maybe its the voice actors imbuing the lines with a fun bouncy cadence - whatever it is, I love this so much.

Texas: Knock me out once, shame on you! Knock me out twice, shame on me! Knock me out three times, I BRING MY CAR!

Tooley is clutching his Kane doll and watching cartoons about caring father-son relationships. Um. Please don't make me think too hard about this, please don't make me think about how Tooley is an obviously inferior replacement for Mike (and he knows it), please don't make me start having emotions about the joke character oh goddammit what have I done??

Kane asking Julie "You think I'm a monster, don't you?" came way out of left field for me. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know how much Julie despises the way he runs things, right? It doesn't seem like she's ever pushed back against him before, so how would he know? Maybe he's using exaggerated language because he's trying to get Julie to deny it? I think that's something that people often do to manipulate others - center their own hurt, play the victim. On the other hand, maybe he truly interprets even the mildest criticism as utter betrayal?

The Burners sure are attached to these cars! If the cars got burned up, it's not like they're in a worse position than they were the moments before they found it. But wait, the cars are metaphorical freedom. XD

Behold Mike "I am going to run straight towards a speeding car" Chilton

If Kane wants Julie to be his successor . . . then worst-case-scenario all they've got to do is wait him out, yeah?

Julie's intense emotional response to the notion that she could be anything like her father is totally understandable, but - the safe play here would be to go along with his plans, right?

AAAAAHHH Kane is not dumb, if Julie's feeding information to the Burners right behind his back there's no way he won't figure this out oh geez oh geez oh geez

. . . And given some time to think about it, Julie is ready-set-go for plan: inherit the dictatorship in order to dismantle it. Beautiful.

Concluding Thoughts:

So Red is working with Kane now? His anger towards Mike always seemed a little misdirected, but actively joining the guy who supposedly ordered his home destroyed and set him off on this little revenge quest to begin with?? What is up with this guy???

I love Julie so dang much, you guys.

The word both Kane and Mike used to describe her, which she uses in her head to compare herself to her father, is "intense." But that's not precise enough, I think - I can't find the right word. It's almost "ruthless," but it's not as though Julie never has regrets. It's just that for a cause she believes in, she can get over them.

Kane is a bit of a mystery to me here. I don't understand why he would continue to indulge Julie with the father-daughter bonding day if he had such serious doubts regarding her loyalty, so I think I'm gonna interpret his comments about Julie "believing he's a monster" as part of 1) his incredibly short temper, and 2) an exaggeration from his perspective, meant to elicit denial and apology from Julie.

One moment he's screaming at her, the next moment he's calling her Julie-bear. He obviously has affection for her - loves her, even. But like many villains, his love is wholly possessive in nature. The minute he can't control Julie, she's completely within reason to doubt that his love will endure. :(

[mgsapphire]

Ethics and morality... and how they're not the same...

Weird title, and I don't even know if I'll properly approach this one with all the topics I wish to this discuss in today's The Devil Judge essay, because a lot of things peaked my interest, I was debating on doing a separate post for each subject, but I'll do them all in here:

Starting simple

I know we're only 4 episodes in, but I want to break down the things that I often look for in a new show:

Cinematography

Soundtrack

Character building

Plot devices

Social commentary (sometimes)

Of course, these are things most people would consider basics, but I find that a lot of TV shows don't have enough balance in them. Also, cinematography and soundtrack are pretty up there for me because when a plot gets slow, or something like that, I stay for those two (biggest example: King Eternal Monarch).

The soundtrack in The Devil Judge is amazing and the cinematography can be a character of its own. They really get me hooked and are used as tools to properly tell a story. And I'll get into that further down this post.

The onlooker will never understand the actor

Experience is your best friend not only applies to job hunting, but it's true in the real world too. You can't truly weigh in on something unless you've experienced it yourself, you can give it your judgment and everything, but when bad things happen to someone, you'll never truly understand their pain. Am I bringing up because of the difference of mind in Judge Kang and Judge Kim's opinions? On how the public treated the minister's son? No. I'm talking about a very specific scene, where the cinematography told me to think that way and not the dialogue (it's that easy for my mind to be swayed). In episode 3, when the rich are about to dine right after the foundation's commercial for a better future, we see this aerial shot:

What's interesting about this? The seclusion and the enclosed feeling it conveys as a counterpart to the poverty shots we were just shown. Yet, these are the people making ads for a better future, what do they know?

They live comfortably behind concrete walls with no windows to see what goes on apart from the bubble they live in. This idea is further enforced at the party in episode 4, where they're not even a part of the donations, and watch and mock from afar as spectators. Yet, these people call the shots. They even call it commenting, as if they were watching the pain of others on TV.

The intriguing personality and the duality it encites

Now, this was a costume and wardrobe decision, but it was also very well thought of:

Judge Kim wears white and Judge Kang wears black. One is morally perceived by viewers of the show as morally good and the other is perceived as morally dubious at best. However, besides the costume and wardrobe thought put into this, we also have to think about the delivery of this scene and how it may further affect my detailing of this section. Judge Kang brings down the coats, and hangs over the coat to Judge Kim, he's the one who is making that annotation: You're pure, I'm tainted. This can have one of two interpretations:

Either Judge Kang believes Judge Kim to be pure and innocent due to his status as a rookie in the field

Or he believes Judge Kim to be morally white and himself morally black as he's looking at his brother's face and not at Judge Kim's heart.

Because most of the back story we're unveiling is through Judge Kim's perception, there's also an inherit bias we're having as well, because in Judge Kim narrative, he believes he's doing what's right and believes Judge Kang to be evil. In being served information about Judge Kang through Judge Kim's eyes, our bias is inherently skewed.

Another thing is that, when they put on the coat, they're standing in front of the other, as if the producers of this series are telling us they're two sides of the same coin.

The duality is made in more deceitful ways, which include:

A difference of classes that implies one has suffered while the other has not.

A difference of experience that implies one is more tainted while the other is pure.

A difference of age that implies one is a sly fox while the other one is is bunny about to be eaten.

A difference of temper that makes one erratic and the other logical.

Power dynamics

This one, in this one I could make a whole thesis based on just a couple of scenes in the drama. And you know I have to mention it: director Jung being the puppeteer.

It may not be as unexpected at first, nevertheless it brings forward a lot of things I've wished to touch upon for quite some time now. A woman being a puppeteer of an old man in the portrayed dystopia that The Devil Judge is painting makes much more sense than more common demonstrations of these dynamics where it's either a:

A man of power being controlled by a bigger man of power.

A man of power being controlled by a seemingly man of a lower status.

A woman being controlled by a man of power.

Although, there's nothing wrong with those power dynamics, and if they were to be used, a message could also be conveyed, this one in particular works as a megaphone.

A subversion of power in such a way can be interpreted as a true indication of the weak overcoming the powerful. Why? It is not that woman are naturally weaker than men, but that in society, patriarchy has been a big factor in taking voice away from women in order to give it to men.

In order for Director Jung to achieve her purposes, it's smarter for her to do it under the pretense that an old rich man in power is the one calling the shots.

This is better exemplified by her stance when the old man tries to excuse his behavior, and what her moral compass is. I'm not saying I agree with her unethical conduct, but that her morality is directly impacted by the perception of the public of her as a weak woman:

Just because a dog bites a human does the person get dirty?

This is telling on how she perceives the actions of the old man in gropping the waitress. She didn't do anything wrong, even if you touched her, you are the dirty one.

While she's evil, it's a refreshing and deep evil.

The public's opinion and how there's actually logic in the show's portrayal

The public opinion can make or break a person, even if it's not on a public trial like this. While "cancel culture" barely works in today's society, a person's reputation is forever tainted. The show does tell that, but it also exhibits the scary downside of it, by showing how easily it was to make people accept flaggelation as a fitting punishment.

There are many experiments that have tried to test the effect of societal pressure on an individual's decision and the effect of the authority's enforcement of power in the outcome of these decisions. Furthermore, theories based on analysis of human behavior not necessarily relying on experiments can also help break this down. What do I mean? Here's a small attempt at explaining:

Milgram Experiment on Authority: which measured the individual willingness to carry out actions that go against their conscience due to an authority's approval.

Argument from Authority; The idea that people are more likely to use an authority's opinion on something as an argument for their reason. This is often seen in science, where trusted authorities have done the research and offer it to the public. In here, authority bias also plays a role, as we often believe, at first, that an authority must be right.

Moral disengagement: basically speaking, because this is evil or bad, I'm not part of it and I most probably am not actively participating in it. One may disengage by moral justification, which means that before engaging in something that has been previously perceived as immoral, I'm changing my stance on it based on what I tell myself to be logical arguments. This particular form of moral disengagement is very effective in changing the public opinion. I'll be touching on another form further down this post.

Other factors played a part, but these ones in particular came to mind when public flagelation as a form of corporeal punishment was wildly accepted. First, an authority is the one telling them it's correct, to go ahead. Secondly, another authority (the minister) had previously shown approval to such unusual punishment. Thirdly, they are not the ones to be engaging directly in the act, and even if they were, it would be acceptable because an authority has told them so. They may even believe the punishment to be a necessary evil for the greater good.

In fact, the minister's son was actually correct when pleading his case, they were accepting it because it wouldn't affect them directly.

Regarding the cinematographic descent of the public opinion regarding the situation can better be exemplified by the old man we've seen through the episodes.

Does suffering justify misdeeds?

Today I came along the difference between excuse and reason. You may give a reason for your behavior, but it doesn't excuse it.

Not because I've suffered through shit, means I have to make you suffer too.

I may explain myself, but it's on the other side to excuse me.

Why I hate the unreliable narrator and why I love it so much

This story has been told mostly through the eyes of Judge Kim and what he hears and sees regarding Judge Kang, if anything, the narrative is very close to that of the narrative we've seen in The Great Gatsby. An enigmatic man is being narrated to us from the eye of a man who hasn't known him for a long time.

How is that an unreliable narrator? The narrator has their own set of bias and moral standards which function as lenses through which they see the world.

Another way of putting it would be the way teenage romances are often written in a first person narrative where either of the two teenagers is the narrator, so the author can sell to us something as simple as offering a pack of gum as the most romantic act on earth. We're perceiving interactions through rose tainted glasses.

In this case, we're seeing the interactions through Judge Kim's eyes who doesn't trust Judge Kang from the get go due to his own preset bias.

The narrative becomes even more unreliable as we're not exactly sure if what Judge Kang disclosed himself is a fact.

The reason why I love this narrative is because it leaves a lot of space to make simple plot twists to a narrative and make them seem grand, and can elongate a story without making it obvious.

The reason why I hate it is because sometimes, in tv shows mostly, we as viewers can see the other side of the story and grow increasingly frustrated with the main character's prejudice and misunderstandings (I'm looking at you my beloved Beyond Evil).

Also, because I have to wait for a long time before I actually have a clear picture of it.

[gayaristocrat]

I Got Everything I wanted...

Episode 1: Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience...

Pairing: Vision x Male Reader

Taglist: N/A

‼️Authors Note‼️: I'm finally at a point where I can write this story. I know that It is long overdue, so I hope this can make up for it. This story is going to be breaking the 4th wall a lot since they tend to do that in the actual show. Also, please let me know in my Inbox/Askbox if you would like to be tagged every time I upload a story to this series. While reading this, you may realize that it seems rushed, and that's because it was. I wanted to put this out as soon as I possibly could. Also since you guys voted that I just divide it up into parts for you to read. I will be uploading part 2 whenever I am able to.

Summary: (Male Name) and Vision struggle to conceal their powers during dinner with Vision's boss and his wife

Time Period: 1956 (So everything in this chapter is going to be colorless and in black and white)

Word count: 4k+

Word Key:

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Have you ever dreamed of living the life you always wanted? Have you ever dreamed of something so bad to the point where you would do anything to get it. Have you ever dreamed of something so bad to the point where all of your care for others went out the window? Have you ever dreamed of wanting something so bad to the point where you would stop anyone who gets in your way.

"(Male Name), I love you so much. Please don't do this, cant you see that everyone is hurting, that everyone is in so much pain?"

"I'm sorry Vision, but I can't. I can't loose you...not again. I never meant for things to be this way, but now I can't go back. Not without you"

---REWIND MANY EPISODES BACK---

For a second, everything is black. The TV clicks on and a burst of grey static illuminates the screen. Everything is black and white, not a single drop of color is in the area. A happily little tune starts playing as a colorless 1956 Buick Special drives up a tiny hill and back down past a sign which says 'Speed Limit 35'. The camera angle changes to the back of the car, showing a banner above the license plate, 'Just Married'. Next, the camera cuts to us, (Male Name) and Vision, newlywed husbands.

It finally happened, we finally got married! Both of us turn take a quick look and smile at each other with nothing but love and glee, it seemed like nothing could go wrong in this moment.

🎵Oh~

A newlywed couple just moved into town,

A regular husband and husband,🎵

Vision turns his head back to the road and continues driving until we turn down a happy little neighborhood. Each house on the street has a pattern of different color greys with black roofs, their yards decorated with equally bland colorless flowers and grass. Children playing outside, and adults chatting with one another while they tend to their gardens, or while walking their dogs. Everyone is just so cheery and happy, even the mailman waves at us as we pass him. Everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be, perfect.

🎵Who left the big city,

To find a quiet life,

(Male Name)Vision!🎵

Vision drives into the driveway of our new home. We quickly hop out of the car and approach the house, but before we walk in I take notice of the 'For Sale' sign still in the yard. I quickly flick my hand and use my magic to change the sign to 'Sold'. After that I dust my hands off with a proud smile on my face as Vision scoops me in his arms bridal style, opens the front door, and carries me inside. I flick my wrist again and the front door closes and locks as we both move to the Livingroom of our already decorated 2 story home.

🎵He's a magical boy,

In a small town locale

And a hubby who's part machine,

How will this duo fit in and pull through?🎵

Once Vision puts me back on my feet, we start swaying with the jingle playing in the background while title cards pop up of written words that I don't care to read right now since I'm too busy enjoying this happy moment with my new husband. Vision then gives me a little twirl before wrapping his arms around my waist as we both dip into a loving heartfelt kiss.

🎵Oh, by sharing a love,

Like you've never seen

(Male Name)Vision!🎵

---SCENE CHANGE---

The scene suddenly changes as the lights flick on and cameras start rolling. You start the scene off by walking into the kitchen and start making your way to one of the grey drawers next to the oven and you grab one of your favorite aprons. Humming a little tune, you wrap the white cloth around your waist and start observing the kitchen to see what needs to be picked up or cleaned. Deciding to work on putting up the dishes, you raise your hand and the newly cleaned plates start levitating off of the counters and float off to the display racks, you then raise your other hand and a dark colored dish cloth floats out of the cabinet and it begins drying a glass cup. You then turn your back to the cup to observe if it had been cleaned good enough, suddenly you jump as a loud crash echoes through out the kitchen. Turn to see what the problem is, you only to find Vision looking up from today's news paper and glances at the shattered plate at the ground while a laughing crown erupts out of nowhere.

"My husband and his flying saucers" He says in his thick English accent (or is it British🤔), with a joking tone.

"My husband and his indestructible head" I reply back in the same tone as another laugh erupts from the crowd.

He then folds his newspaper and walked over to your direction, giving you a kiss on the cheek when he arrived, causing you to chuckle while twirling your finger, making the plate form back to it's original round shape before it floats off to it's designated spot.

"Vision, honey, what do you say to silver dollar pancakes, crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, freshly squeezed orang juice and black coffee?" You say while walking over to the refrigerator, opening it and bending down, getting ready to grab out everything needed to make the meal for him.

"I'd say 'Oh, I don't eat food' " He says smiling at me, while the crown laughs again.

You look inside the fridge and hum to yourself in surprise while putting all the pieces together in your head before saying "Well, that explains the empty refrigerator then"

"(Male Name), my darling. Is there something special about today?"

"Well, I know the apron is a bit much dear, but I'm doing my best to blend in and have the 'Perfect House Husband' look." You say walking to meet him, assuming he's talking about the apron.

"No no, you don't have to try, you already are the perfect house husband." He says as he lightly grabs your chin with his pointer finger and thumb and lightly giving you a 'boop' on the nose. "But I was referring to the calendar. Someone's drawn a heart right above today's date." You then looked at him as you cluelessly try to figure out what he's talking about, so he puts his hands on your shoulders and turns you around to face the calendar behind you and he rests his chin on your head as you both look at the heart.

Trying to act like you know what day it is, you say "Well...d..dont tell me you've forgotten Vis?"

"Oh silly (y/n), I'm incapable of forgetfulness. I remember everything. That's not an exaggeration. In fact, I'm even incapable of exaggeration" He rambles boastfully.

"Hmm, well then if that's true, then maybe you can tell me what's so important about today's date"

He pauses for a second and thinks before he blows a slow puff of air out of his mouth, then deciding on saying "Uhhh...what was the question again? Oh well, no matter, perhaps you've forgotten yourself"

"Me? Heavens, no, haha. I've been so looking forward to it."

You both have actually been looking forward to day. Today you are celebrating...The first time you...uhhh...have ever celebrated this occasion before. It's a special day indeed, perhaps an evening?...of great significance?...to you both, naturally.. obviously...exactly! Well done for the both of you.

You two ramble on for a few more minutes trying to drill the other into spilling on what was so special about today, but you two couldn't since you were both obviously unknowing about it, then Vision remembered something.

"Well, sorry darling, that's me off to work, then." Vison says fixing his grey suit jacket and grabbing his suitcase walking to the front door. You quickly grab his hat hanging on the coat rack and place it on his head, fixing it to make it look straight.

"Also don't forget-"

"(Male Name), my dear how many times do I have to tell you I don't forg- oh you mean my face right?"

You nod letting him know that was what you were getting at. The audience laughs again as he quickly shakes his head and his face and hands transform from cold metal to warm flesh. Vision then puts his palm to his face and pretends to blow you a kiss, while you play along and pretend to catch it and put it over your heart.

Once he leaves out the door, you lock it a return to the kitchen, and make your way to the calendar, chewing on your polished nails (if you don't want nail polish then skip that part) as you try to remember the symbolism of the heart. Not even a second later your thoughts get interrupted as a loud knock at the door startles you back to 'reality'.

Going to go see who it is, you push the door that separates the living room and the kitchen, closer to the knocking. You quickly open the door and see a woman with a dark plaid dress and a styled black hairdo holding a grey plant in a white pot.

"Oh hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. My right, not yours" She says in a sing-song tone as she uninvitedly makes her way into the house. The eruption of cackles echo as you look at her in confusion as to why she decided to step inside, but decided to keep a calm attitude and not say anything about it.

"Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. My mother-in-law was in town...so I wasn't!" she says laughing with the audience once more as her dress sways with her movements. She rushes the potted plant into your arms and you smile and take it as she makes her way into the living room to continue her snooping. "So what's your name? Where are you from? And most importantly how's your bridge game, hon?" She says not loosing a single breath, and of course not giving you time to answer in between questions.

"Umm...Well I'm (Male Name)" You say reaching your hand out to shake hers

"(Male Name)? Charmed!" She joyfully says and returns the gesture.

"Golly, you sure do settle fast! Yes sir you did indeed! Did you use a moving company?"

"Why I sure did. Those boxes don't move themselves." The audience laughs as your inside joke, because let's be honest, the boxes did move themselves since you used your magic to decorate everything. (Damn (Male Name), you really are a powerful sum' bitch)

'"So (Male Name), what's a single boy like you doing rattling around this big house?" She says siting on the couch.

You laugh to yourself and dreamily look at the finger your ring should be on that Vision gave you to claim you as his, (He liked it so he put a ring on it.....sorry...anyways) but paused as it wasn't there. That's not right, because you could have sworn that it was there when you created this rea-

"Oh no, I'm not single I-"

"Well I don't see a ring

"Well I can promise you, I am indeed married...To a man. A human one and tall too! A a matter of fact, he'll be home later tonight for a special occasion just the two of us." You say putting emphasis on 'occasion' with a wink.

"Oh is it somebody's birthday? A holiday?" Agnes questions bouncing up and down in the couch with her legs crossed like a 'proper lady'.

"Well, no and no"

"An anniversary then?"

"Ye-uhh...yes, Its our anniversary!" You shout, finally able to remember what that heart meant.

Agnes waves you over to come sit on the couch with her and you obey, sitting down she grabs and rests both sets of you two's clasped hands on your apron.

"Sooo...tell me, how many years" She asks letting out a little squeal.

"Well..uhhh..it...it uh feels like we've always been together"

"You lucky man-" She shakes her head remembering about her own husband "-the only way Ralph would remember our anniversary is if there was a beer names June 2nd." She chuckles as the audience laughs from nowhere again. "So what do you have planned?"

"How do you mean?" You questioned her. I mean you never really did have time to come up with anything since you just realized, or assumed, what today was.

"For your special night, (Male Name)! A young boy like yourself doesn't have to do much, but it's still fun to set the scene. Say-" she says standing up to slowly make her way to the door "-I was just reading a crackerjack magazine article called 'How To Treat Your Husband To Keep Your Husband', and let me tell you somethin'...what Ralph could really use is, 'How to Goose Your Wife So You Don't Loose Your Your Wife'. She kidd's as her and the audience laugh. You look at her and shake your head trying to hold back your own laughter. "Hang on, I'll go grab it and we can start planning. Oh, this is gonna be a gas!" She shouts running to the door so she can leave and run to her house.

-----Time Skip---

Both Agnes and you are back on the couch, looking through her magazines trying to find ideas for the anniversary dinner you planned for you and Vision to share, when out of nowhere, the phone started ringing interrupting you two. You got up and rushed over to it hoping you don't miss the unknown caller, you pick it up and put it to your ear and then start talking.

"Vision residence how may I help you"

"(Male Name), darling I-"

"Vision, my dearest husband. How are you sweetheart?" You say cutting him off from his obviously panicked and frantic voice. I mean come on, you are just excited to hear your husband's voice after a hours of him being gone.

"Listen about tonight-"

You cut him off again, already knowing that he was going to talk about the anniversary. "Don't worry, dear, I have everything under complete control"

"Oh, well, that is a relief. I must confess, I'm really rather nervous" He says over the phone.

"Nervous? Whatever for?" You question.

"Well, you know, darling, I still get a little tongue-tied."

The audience coo's and aww's at how a dust of grey creeps up on your (dark grey/grey) cheeks. "Vis, after all this time..." you giggle out.

"There's a lot riding on this (Male Name)! If tonight doesn't go just so, I think this could be the end.

'Wait what' you think to yourself

"Well, it's just one night. There's no need to get dramatic." You say in a worried tone as you grasp your now queasy stomach.

Vision's tone begins to get more serious as the conversation continues in his attempt to express how important this is to you. "Look, I think the best course of action is to impress the wife."

"Well, first, I think you mean husband. And secondly I also think the best course of action is to impress the other husband too." You look over and give Agnes a thumbs up and a wink in her direction, and she does the same while sipping her martini.

"Glad to know we're both on the same page, love. Until tonight, then, my sweet little husband" Vision says making two smooching noises through the phone to you.

"Until tonight...my robotic husband" You return, whispering the last part so Agnes doesn't hear you. She couldn't hear you anyways, being too busy sipping her drink and flipping through the pages. You finally gently put the phone on the hook and return to the couch.

---Time Skip, Later Tonight---

Before Vision made it home, you set the big dining table that was next to the living room and tossed colorless silk scarfs on all of the laps in the room to set the mood and made your way to the bedroom to get dressed to surprise him for when he gets home. When you heard the door open and heard his voice, you tip toed your way out of the bedroom and into the living room, dressed a long fluffy white lingerie robe with white fur that wrapped around the arms of it which was trailing behind you, exposing both of your (dark grey/grey) legs. You then went all the way to Vision's black silhouette and gently wrapped your hands around his eyes, causing him to jump form the sudden contact.

The audience laughed again as they know your mistake. 'Where the hell is that laughing coming from, and whey is it happening right now of all times?' you thought to yourself in confusion.

"Guess who~" you seductively whispered to your husbands.

Suddenly the lights turn on and you hear Vision's voice that was filled with a mix of shock, embarrassment, and irritation at your recklessness. "(MALE NAME) WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

You gasp and look in his direction. "Vision? What are you-" then it hit's you, if Vision is right there, then who's-

"Oh! Oh my stars, I'm so sorry!" You say to the man you mistook for your husband. You quickly uncover his eyes and stumble away from him as he stares at you in shock. Then you look down at your attire and try to cover your exposed leg as much as possible.

"What is the meaning of this!" The bald headed mad says appalled, as his wife stands behind him looking around cluelessly.

Vision interrupts with his stammering voice just as confused as everyone else. "Well..uh yeah (Male Name) what is the meaning of-" Suddenly it hits him and he tries to comes up with an excuse off the top of his head. "-Oh, the meaning of it! You want to know the meaning of it...and...the meaning of it is...that this is the tradition of (Random Foreign Country/Continent) greeting of hospitality. Uhh...guess who???" Vision says as he runs behind you and overs your eyes.

"Oh is that my host being me?" You say playing along.

"It certainly is, darling. Lovely to make your acquaintance" Vision says vigorously shaking your hand. "See i forgot to tell you my husband is from (Random Foreign Country/Continent)" he giggles along with the audience.

"Oh, how exotic!" The man's wife cheerfully laughs.

"I never knew such a place as that existed" He says in a dark yet serious tone.

"Oh hush Author, have you no culture. Oh and the robe, I absolutely love it!" His wife replies trying to lighten up the awkward mood.

"Thank you so much ma'am-" you march through the living room and snatch off the silk scarves from all the lamps and tightly grab Vision's hand. "-Can I just see you in the kitchen for a moment, sweetheart?"

You both then slam your way through the kitchen door and it swings closed behind you, leaving Vision's boss and his wife behind as they sit down on the couch and patiently (more like impatiently on Arthur's end) wait for your return. You then turn around and look at each other before throwing questions.

"Who are those people?!"

"What are you wearing!?"

"Why are they here?"

"What are you wearing!?" Vision questions again boldly

"Well, it's out anniversary, that's why I'm wearing this!"

"Our anniversary of what?" Vison says, desperate to know what the hell you were talking about. Eventually you had enough of these shenanigan's and throw the scarves down at his feet stomping your way to the kitchen chairs. "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!" you exaggerate, crossing your arms and pouting like a child

"(Male Name), darling! That...that man through there is my boss Mr. Hart! And his dear lady wife Mrs. Hart! The heart on the calendar was an abbreviation!" Vision whispers, roughly tapping his hand on the black heart drawn on the dull colored calendar.

You grab your head and shake it trying to put everything together. "Vision sweetie, you move at the speed of sound and I can make a pen float through the air. Who. Needs. To. Abbreviate!?"

Vision grabs both of your shoulders in an attempt to collect his thoughts and calm you down. "Darling, listen, it's all romantic to do the candles, the music, that stunning outfit. I don't wanna be unappreciative, but right now-"

"Your boss and his wife are expecting a home-cooked meal. Correct?" Vision nods his head while muttering 'exactly' while look around the kitchen in order to find somethin to serve to the unwarned visitation of guests. After looking around for a but, your eyes land on the mini round table that held a plate and food on it. "Well, does your boss and his wife have a hunger for a single chocolate-covered strawberry, split three ways?" Vision hisses while clenching his fists and shaking his head no.

"Oh wait, I might have better ideas" Without hesitation you raise both of your sands and snap your fingers, magically changing your outfit to the one you were wearing earlier that day, a pair of dark high waisted cuffed slacks and a white blouse to match (you can change if you don't like), and the audience claps in astonishment at your transformation whilst you tie your apron in a bow behind your back. Vision gives you a quick peck on the cheek and runs back to the living room to keep others company while you figure out what to serve everyone.

---Time Skip---

After minutes of looking, you couldn't find anything in the kitchen, and the refrigerator was empty, so you decided to call your good neighbor Agnes to see if she could pick up some things from the store and bring it over. A couple of minutes pass and you finally hear a familiar knock on the back door in the kitchen. As soon as you open it Agnes rushes through with her hands full of groceries stacked to her chin as she stumbles through the kitchen. Before you could even mutter out a 'thank you' she stops you dead in your tracks and puts all the food down on the table. "Before you can say anything don't think about it. I mean, what kind of housewife would I be if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four just lying about the place. Not that Ralph wants to eat anything other than baked beans, which explains a lot about his personal appeal, mind you." The audience laughs one more at her silly humor as you quickly render to her aid to grab some of the groceries before they could fall. Unfortunately, it seems like the Universe was not on your side since the large cooking pot crashed and hit the ground, echoing throughout the kitchen, while Agnes yelled out an overexaggerated 'oh my'.

You had to get rid of Agnes and as quickly as you can, so you decided to just push her out the back door despite her protests to help you cook. "Thank you so much Agnes but I can take it from here-"

"Are you sure dear, many hands make light work. And many mouths make good gossip too!"

"Oh ahahaha, you are so naughty! But-"

"Oh, shall I preheat the oven then? hmm?"

"That won't be necessary, thank you for your time!"

Somehow she managed to escape your grasp on her waist and make her way back to the counter to crab some kitchen tools to start cooking for you. "Well, I know you're in a pinch so this menu can be done in a snap." She says snapping her fingers before continuing her rambling. you run back over to her and snatch the utensils from her, setting them on the counter, and grabbing her arms to march her back to the door. "Lobster Thermidor with mini-minced turnovers to start. Chicken à la King with twice-cooked new potatoes for your second course, and Steak Diane with mint jellies for your main. Oh wait! Do you set your own jellies, dear?"

"Yes Agnes I do, now can you please-"

"Ah there you go, good boy! Recipe cards are all on the counter there. Bon Appétit!"

"Haha, yes will do, thank you so much again Agnes! Bye now!" You say slamming the door, making the audience laugh at your exhausted expression. Now that she's gone, you run to the middle of the kitchen and throw your arms around, making all of the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen fly open, the dishes start floating out, and the food starts cooking. Out of no where the doors to the island bar swoop open to show Mrs. Hart, but before she could see Vision distracts her by breaking out and singing Yackety Yack by The Coasters, causing her to break out into a little dance, making her way back to the couch. Dear gods and goddess', how lucky are you to have a savior like him.

But little did you know, that the night was only just beginning.

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Finish the fic? Leave a like and comment if you enjoyed it. Also, give it a reblog too! Once again, I'm so sorry it was rushed! Please don't be afraid to let me know if there are any typos or errors. I will go back and edit this