#if you're wondering this is some of the fics I've read

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

Hey girl! Do you happen to have an Ao3 account? I love reading your fics but tumblr doesn’t alway load offline. Just wondering! Thanks! :)

AO3: TheSarcasticKnight

I know what you're thinking.

"JJ, how are you gonna log in on a random Sunday morning after not being on Tumblr in literal months and then casually answer a question about your AO3 username like it's nothing??"

I'm unhinged. That's why. And also I finally made the effort to recreate my password so I could successfully log in b/c I totally forgot it and then was lazy for literal weeks anyways

Sorry I haven't been on. Tumblr is a whole new landscape I don't even recognize and from the looks of it I've missed some drama, but it's fine I'm here. I answered a few direct messages left for me, and if you sent me an ask in the last 6 months (or however long it's been time is an illusion) just know that I read through all of them just now and I love you too 🥰 It means so much to me to know that people were thinking of me. It just warms my little heart.

Admittedly, the chances of me updating some of the stuff on here is slim to none just b/c I'm still super busy with my day job and other projects so I do apologize for that 🫣 I may go back and read some of my old work. That does the trick sometimes. I'll read what I forgot about, get super into it, and then get super pissed when I reach the end and realize it hasn't been updated (despite being the author who hasn't updated it) and then somehow I have enough juice to get something (that exact scenario actually just happened on AO3 with an older series of mine).

Anyways, I'm done rambling. Just know that I love you. I know the world is crazy and life is hard and it's exhausting to keep pushing through the same battles again and again, but you are an incredible soul and you are so strong and you are not alone. 🩵

[mixelation]

Literally all i know about wicked is the poster bc i think its nice. Can i ask you what its a fic of? Or just about?

uuuuh so wicked is actually weirdly complicated in terms of being a fic/adpatation/whatever. it's a fanfic of the wizard of oz but it gets weird:

the wonderful wizard of oz is a children's book published in 1900. it went on to have 13 sequels by the original author, and then literally tens more sequels by other authors. most of the books are about someone going on a journey and assembling a party of strange magical people and creatures and running into various strange places and occasionally dodging things trying to kill them. this means that there is a LOT of lore and zany characters to draw from.

the book is of course not nearly as famous as the 1939 movie, which is what most people think of when they think of the wizard of oz. the movie adaptation has the same basic plot outline as the first book, but streamlined and-- most importantly for understanding wicked-- it changed a lot of aesthetic details. the reason for this is that color movies were new, and they wanted to show off, so everything is ultra bright and colorful. in the book, the dorothy's magic shoes are silver. they changed them to ruby red because it pops more. also in the book, everything in the emerald city is white, but everyone entering the city must wear glasses to make everything appear green (for emeralds, you see). the movie producers were evidently like "what the fuck?" and instead made the emerald city extra color and bright and loud. oh, and the movie made the wicked witch green. in the book, she was not green and instead had one magic eye.

wicked is a 1995 novel which is of a specific genre which basically asks: what if the villain of the story secretly had a sympathetic backstory this whole time? what if the good guys weren't that good and the wicked witch was actually kind of the better person?! i did really like these as a kid, but they kind of appeal to me less now outside of nostalgia because as takes they're usually.... kind of immature? or else come off like they dislike the source material. anyway, wicked is about the origin story of the wicked witch of the west (now named elphaba), who is born green and discriminated against for it. i read the book back in high school and therefore don't remember a ton of details about the plot, but the world building involved feels like a bizarre fever dream and sort of lazy in its lack of canonical detail if you're an oz fan. i remember finding it especially bizarre because there's details drawn from the books, but the main premise is entirely in movie land, and a lot of major book details are basically just discarded/never acknowledged. this is what makes it, imho, a bad fanfic. i won't comment on the writing because it's been too long, but in terms of being a fanfic..... yeah, it's weird & kind of bad?

however, i don't think most wicked fans have read the book. most people talking about wicked mean the 2003 musical (which will have a movie adaptation this month and why i'm thinking about it). like the movie, the musical is more streamlined than the book it's based on, and fun songs are added!!! i've seen it twice and literally don't remember the plot. i do think the actually spectacle of it is cool, but i don't like most of the songs, and again, it feels like it hates the source material. some of the weirder things, off the top of my head:

i cannot begin to stress how being green is one of the more normal physical differences to have in oz. like i get that the "hated because she's GREEN" thing is just a vehicle for the metaphor, but what is the point of intentionally picking this setting if you're just going to discard it?

there's a subplot about the talking animals wanting rights. this could actually be super interesting to explore, because the status of animals in the land of Oz is never made super clear? it's stated that they can all talk, and yet we see farmers and people eat animal products. there are animal characters who are treated equal to humans, and animal characters that are very explicitly pets. yet wicked does not engage with this in any interesting way (at least in the musical -- in the book i just remember an animal sex club?!); it's just a very generic "we want rights!!!" thing happening without the actual method and system of discrimination being made clear

glinda's function in the books is to be a wise adult figure. she rides around in a flying chariot pulled by swans and hires only beautiful women to work for her and gives them swords. in wicked, she's a shallow prep character. i get it's supposed to be an ~origin story~ or whatever but my feeling was that there's no foundation for her future character being laid. unless you're only going with "pink, appears in a bubble" as your basis for character

the book and the musical are both set against highly political backdrops, but most of the politics are made up wholecloth because canonical oz is.... chaos. the land of oz is more like a bunch fo loosely tied city-states, many of which are so isolated they probably don't know they have a ruler. again, "the politics of oz" is something i think would be interesting to explore in a fanfic, but wicked seems to just want to have some politics around and slapped a vaguely oz aesthetic on it, making it feel shallow and preventing any sort of conversation with the source material

like i'm not saying that all fanfic NEEDS to be in conversation with the source material; i'm just saying, why write a fanfic if you literally only want the aesthetics of the movie? to help sell copies? sure. and i don't even think that automatically makes a piece of work bad (no hate, wicked fans), it's just makes it frustrating and unpleasant to consume if you're a fan of the source material

[aficionadoenthusiast]

adding some more cause everything is shit rn

pjo

all canon ships + valgrace i believe

Hot People Eat at Dairy Queen by itsmrlol; T; 84k; i read a lot of chat fics so i cannot remember if this is the one that had me pissing myself laughing or if it's just average funny but either way it's funny

[us🤝being literal gods] [Sparky re-named the group "nico is a gay disaster; send help"] 12:36am Ghostboy: i beg ur pardon???? Nutella: SPEAK ON IT‼️‼️‼️

mist you already by starrey_night; T, 1-10k; social media/chat fic; fucking hilarious

After the Mist mysteriously disappears, the world of Greek mythology is exposed, and the response is … just as you expected. A story told through social media

Baby Blofis College Fund by zipadeea; T; 3k; hilarious and made me feel very connected to Sally

Valerie calls her an hour later. “Sally, what the hell?” “That bad, huh?” “Bad? Sally, it’s gold. I went from squirming in my seat to crying genuine tears. And that twist, making him a Greek god, it’s exactly what we’re looking for right now. How soon can you get me the next chapter?” *** In which Sally Jackson realizes by the time the new baby is eighteen, a semester of college will cost an arm and a leg. And those Fifty Shades of Grey books sure did make a lot of money.

percy jackson and the scrutiny of his coworkers by pqrker; G; 6k; nosy mortals is such an old but fun trope in this fandom, and this one does it really well

Jim turned back to the tank and looked at Marcie the seal, who was now staring at the spot his coworker had been standing just moments before with that same strange look of reverence in her eyes. Percy Jackson truly was the oddest person Jim Elpool had ever worked with. or 5 times percy's coworkers were confounded by his fish magic, plus 1 time they try to figure it out

Daddy Issues Inc by Librarian_Alexandria; T; 10k; THIS ONE! IS THE ONE THAT WAS SO FUNNY! YAY!

Piper changes the GC name to Daddy Issues Inc, which has little to no influence over anything, and what follows is completely unrelated. Jason introduces his fellow university freshmen to his boarding school friends, also attending Olympus University, throwing Reyna and Piper, equally oblivious and disastrous, together. but not like, together-together yet anyway its a texting fic about our favs at uni and they're chaotic and this was fun to write

mcu

Tony Stark: Appliance Whisperer by Alex51324; Avengers; T; 12k; Tony just has a way with electronics

After Tony over-reacts to some SHIELD agents breaking a microwave oven, Steve begins to wonder if there's something the team should know.

you're my cherry pie by novembersmith; Venom; E; 12k; Venom learns about human reproduction and sex. There is a powerpoint presentation.

The first time Eddie suggests they have sex, Venom is, more than anything, extremely confused.

Operation Cat Whisperer by cookies5098; Spider-man; G; 5k; poor Peter is terrorized by cats. (not as heavy on the irondad trope as the summary and tags make it sound)

Peter and the cats of New York have an understanding: he helps them down from trees and tall buildings, and in return, they ignore his spider-like traits that trigger their hunter instincts. So, he honestly thinks he'll be fine when visiting Greece, one of the stray cat capitals of the world. But he's wrong. He's so fucking wrong. Feat. Peter being a walking catastrophe—thank goodness for MJ and Ned—Morgan being a juice pops fiend, and Tony being a good dad to them both.

How To Pay For Rent 💸 by fictionfeast; poolverine; E; 42k; i've read so many poolverine fics since dp&w came out, and i can confirm, this is one of the good ones

To pay for rent, Logan and Wade take odd jobs on Craigslist.

teenage wasteland by swirlees; Spider-Man; T; 10k; the AcaDec team fucking with the FBI

He doesn't set out to be a terrorist. It just...happens. And he's not even really a terrorist. He totally recognizes that it's his fault the Chitauri core ends up on the Washington Monument, but he's not trying to cause terror, ergo, not a terrorist. Just, an accident-ist. In which Spider-Man's journey into superhero-ship leads him to the accidental terrorism that sometimes comes with it, and (if you asked him) the A+ recovery he makes, featuring big brother Deadpool, an absolutely fed up group of FBI goons, mildly entertained Daredevil and Mr. Nelson, and a weirdly very supportive, kind of terrifying GenZ AcaDec crew.

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail by MusingsOnBuckyBarnes, owlet; stucky and other avengers; M; 100-300k; I believe this one is pretty famous in the stucky and mcu fandoms, but in case you haven't read it, read it. it's hilarious, angsty, and amazing. steve and bucky's characterizations are great. this is probably the best bucky recovery fic i've read.

The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect.

trc

Sold by flightspath; pynch; E; 7.5k; idk what to say for this. the summary speaks for itself

"Eight thousand," Ronan announced. Professor Kellogg laughed unkindly. "Young man, it seems you’re confused. You’ve only re-drawn the paddle number." "Whatever, that's my bid. Eight thousand.” Another wave of whispers and gasps rippled through the room. “I'm a mechanical engineering enthusiast." He turned to address his tablemates. "But a high school dropout,” he added in a stage whisper, as if they’d asked, “so I need a tutor." He looked back up at Professor Kellogg. "I’m stupid but rich, basically.” --- In which a date with Adam is up for auction, and things go from bad to Pynch real quick

cluck cluck, motherf- by andrealyn; minor pynch; T; 3k; great look at adam and declan's relationship

What's worse than getting sick while your significant other is away? Getting sick when your stubborn future in-law is home at the Barns with you and won't admit that they're sick too. Is stubborn pride worth suffering in silence and refusing to admit that you're worse for the wear? If it means losing a game of sick chicken, then for both Adam and Declan, it is.

Surfin' On A Sound Wave, Swingin' Through The Stars by clotpolesonly; bluesey & pynch; T; 2k; I just reread this and cried

Ronan kicked the tires of a rusty Buick and turned to look Gansey up and down. “What are you supposed to be, anyway? An aspiring yacht captain who misplaced his yacht?” Gansey leveled him with an unimpressed look. “These are just my regular clothes and you know it.” He ignored Ronan’s unrepentant sniggering in favor of checking Blue’s text again. “Jane said she has a couple’s costume planned for us but wouldn’t tell me what it is, only that I should just come to the party in my favorite outfit.” “Maybe she��ll be in bright-ass green and you can be highlighters together.” “Ha very ha.

JessJesstheBest also has very funny trc fics

hi! i also love comedy! any chance we could get some more funny fic recs?

yes, absolutely!

pjo

sorry, don't have a ton of these, I tend to read more serious fics for this fandom

keeping it fruity by buoyantsaturn; valgrace, T, 4k; Leo is both so relatable and so silly, I love it

Leo huffed. “Sorry, I just don’t think I can support such senseless violence,” he grumbled, knowing that all of the excuses he and Nico had come up with over the last few years would be useless by that point. “What is a sport, really, if not an excuse to beat some stranger to a pulp?”

sex education by CordeliaRose; solangelo, E & M, 5-20k; I'm not normally a fan of smut, so if this one got me to read smut, you know it's good

Percy tries to give Nico a sex talk. It goes about as well as anyone could have predicted.

marvel

shelter order by deniigiq; team red, G, 46k; team red quarantine group chat fic, need I say more?

Little Spidey (Pink): Hello Twitter. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Spiderman has decided that we should share with you all our private chat. We will be doing so on the condition that y’all remain cool about it. You gonna be cool? (Peter decides to raise spirits of those in isolation by sharing parts of the Team Red chat online day by day.)

Fishing Isn’t Fair to the Fish by NezumiPi; defenders, T, 17k; I was not expecting this one to have so much humor. or an exorcism.

Spoilers for Defenders S1 and prior individual shows. In a magnificent display of poor judgment, Luke Cage invites the Defenders on an upstate fishing trip in they can get to know one another better and perhaps smooth over some minor interpersonal conflicts. Contains (in no particular order): Minor interpersonal conflicts, major interpersonal conflicts, moderate impersonal conflicts, Danny Rand’s undergarments, porn for the blind, misuse of pharmaceuticals, talking swans, occasional fishing, and some seriously unpleasant business.

Mr. Stark's Home for Idiot Teenagers by OffToNewPastures; Iron family, T, 98k; tbh it's been so long since I read this one that I don't remember what it's about, but I have it marked as funny, so here you go

Peter is there, slumped over the kitchen island, slowly cramming spoonfuls of Double Chocolate Cookie Crisp into his mouth, hair tousled and sticking up every which way, and Tony realizes with sudden clarity that he’s fighting a losing battle. Maybe not today, maybe he can put it off for a while, but someday he’s just going to have to give up and love this ridiculous kid. - In which Tony Stark learns object lessons about love, sacrifice, death, friendship, and parenthood; and makes his peace with the unfortunate reality that his penthouse will be crawling with asshole teenagers every weekend for the foreseeable future. Follows canon...loosely. Ahem.

Chaotic Peter by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_so; Iron family, T, 15-20k; this one is hilarious and painful and gripping and so so beautiful, and it has a logical path to the Iron family trope that doesn't make me cringe. I stayed up to 5 am on a weekday reading it. No regrets. (My note on ao3: "Reread first story to laugh until you cry, reread second part to feel something," if anyone was doubting how I feel about this fic.)

"Is there a reason you're calling this late at night?" Tony asks, worried in spite of himself. "Tell me what's going on, kid." “Everything is one-hundred-percent fine,” Peter says. “Seriously, I've never been better. But I should let you know I have about thirty bricks of cocaine in my bedroom. Also, Karen won't let me turn off Instant Kill Mode. Also, Walmart discontinued my special razzleberry pink squeezy lemonade. Which isn't related to tonight's patrol, I'm just bummed about it.”  Or: The five times Instant Kill Mode is activated +1

Super Duper Side Effects by awesomesockes, whumphoarder; Avengers, T, 16k; most mcu fans probably recognize this one and know it's hilarious

The downside of an enhanced metabolism is that it renders most drugs completely ineffective. Captain America accepted this long ago as an occupational hazard. But after Peter sustains a serious injury in the line of duty and the doctors have no way to manage the pain, Steve decides to volunteer as a test subject for Bruce and Tony’s experimental super drug. However, the soldier ends up getting a little more than he bargained for. (Alternative title: Original Drug Tester: Steve Rogers)

Obligatory mention of the fic that caused this ask:

in technicolor by deniigiq; Marvel's various NYC vigilantes & Brett Mahoney, not rated (I'd give it a T), 120k; again. the observor pov gives the idea of wildlife being studied in their natural habitat, and it is so. fucking. funny.

Brett sighed and looked down at the folder in his hand. “Your name is Peter, right?” “Lawyer.” “Peter, we haven’t even started talking. Let’s just take a minute to ease up.” “Lawyer.” “Bud, we haven’t charged you with a crime. This is just talking.” “Law. Yer.” Goddamn. (Brett's encounters with Team Red/vigilantes and their weird fucking way of helping)

hp

Still Preoccupied... With 1979 by darkbluedark; drarry (+jily & wolfstar), T, 15-20k; pre drarry accidental time travel hanging onto their rivalry for convenience? hilarious.

It’s May 1979 and the Order has just apprehended a pair of mysterious wizards who look remarkably like a Potter and a Malfoy. Naturally, James Potter and Sirius Black are called in to identify the strangely familiar strangers and determine their backgrounds and loyalties. (This would be a lot easier if their captives weren’t convinced everyone they talk to is dead. It would also be easier if they didn’t spend half their bloody time bickering.)

sirius black and the "mystery girl" by tjmcharg; wolfstar, T, 29k; heteronormativity but for humor reasons

"You can't tell me who you're with?" Lily smiles at him hopefully. Sirius laughs. "Alright Evans, if you're so curious, I have a proposition for you" "We'll set up a little bet, you have until the end of the school year - so two months - to work out who I'm dating, or..." he pauses to think and with an evil smirk decides, "or you have to ask your crush out on a date."

pair of tossers with a cat by moonymoment; wolfstar, G, 10k; a cat nearly destroys them. in the middle of a war.

Something seemed to dawn on Remus then; something so obvious he couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before. He frowned and looked at Sirius quizzically. “What?” “Are you…” Remus began, gaping slightly, “jealous of the cat, Sirius?” Sirius looked down. “I’m not jealous of the cat.” “You’re jealous of the cat!” “I am not jealous of the bloody cat.” Remus finds a stray cat on the street and brings it in. Sirius is not impressed. Chaos ensues.

(fuck jkr. for those of you who don't know me.)

(if y'all have any especially funny fics you wanna share, i would not be opposed 👀) (especially marvel and pjo 👀👀)

[luna13e-blog]

It's the time of the year where everyone, specially in my LinkedIn, is bragging about the books they read. I'm perplex seeing lists and lists of books without a pinch of fiction in them.

I know, books are a great source of knowledge. I read books related to my work, to my academic work, and out of pure curiosity. But they're also a great source of fun and dreams and escaping the world and its rules for a little bit. And probably learn something in the way but that's not the point.

I'm perplex seeing how reading is now glorified as another way of being productive, as a group of check marks in a list and the implied failure if you don't achieve to meet the number of marks expected.

I rebel against this notion.

I haven't read a single work or academic book this year because it's been awful and my energy was non existent. Work and university were enough overwhelming without adding some voluntary extra work.

But I listened a fantasy audio book in English for the first time in my life and read thousands of pages in fanfics. But who cares because I can see how my list would look: Dead gay wizards, middle age gay wizards in crisis, gay dead non-wizards that did a heist, non-dead wizards in a BDSM world, gay dead non-wizards in the Hungers Games world...

Not very productive, uh? Probably not. Not a single Nobel awarded autor, no productivity tips, no stories about great entrepreneurs or billionaires telling you that you can also do it.

And I could scream loud and say that I improved my English and exercised my brains but nope, I mean, probably I did improve my English but the main thing was: They were fun. They made me laugh, and cry, and scream. They allowed me to talk to other people.

So: Fuck this idea that implies that reading is a productivity habit. I rebel against it. I wish for a bit of fantasy in all our lives.

Reading shouldn't be a task: it should be a bag full of treats.

[melverie]

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again

[hecatesbroom]

that unfortunate occasion when you're kind of sick and you want to write, but words don't work

[blizzardfluffykpop]

today's plan: to clear drafts of misc. that is funny- and reblog all the fanfics that remain in here- (has one been in here since jan of this year- yes dw about it) I'll delete this if i remember

[whysamwhy123]

Illness be damned, I finished this next OrangeHook fic, holla! Thank God this one's nowhere near as long as the first. It definitely got away from me though, didn't end up being about what I intended it to be about. But I don't think it's terrible? At least, not offensively so? I don't know. I'll see how I feel about it after I'm done editing. Maybe then I'll think about posting it sometime later this week?

[steakout-05]

i was thinking about how it took me a while to figure out i'm aegosexual (which basically means that there's a disconnect between yourself and being the subject of attraction) and i thought about how much i really dislike and just cannot see myself in slash reader fics. i tend to dislike these fics for multiple reasons, but some of them include that the reader self insert is usually really boring, has no personality outside of being lovey dovey and isn't unhinged enough for certain characters for reasons outside of contrasting personalities for my tastes (like spamton for example, why are you writing a normal protagonist to pair with fuckin spamton of all characters). but another reason is that i literally cannot connect myself to the reader self insert. like i cannot imagine myself in their place at all, it's always another stand-in that i imagine instead and thinking about myself in their place makes me uncomfortable. i can't see myself in their place because i don't see myself as a subject of attraction, and i'm repulsed to that idea. so i imagine someone else instead because that's better to me. and also because of the aforementioned reasons that have more to do with the writing of the self insert, i just cannot imagine myself acting the way the self insert does because I Personally Would Not Fucking Do That™. like i would not be romantically kissing a guy on a date, i would be infodumping about my special interests for 3 hours and then start ranting about how funny cars are while he just smiles and nods lmao

this is why i've never really self-shipped with any character. like i can be attracted to them and be like "i wanna hold his hand/kiss him/do inexplicable things to his psyche", but in reality i could never actually see myself as a subject of attraction by this character, so i'd either ship them with another character i like or imagine a sort of stand-in that has some of my traits and lives out my fantasies but still isn't me. i can fall in love but i can never connect because ew that's gross and weird. watching from the sidelines by reading fics and looking at fanart about characters being shipped with others and being intimate with each other is more my cup of tea.

[butchdykeorpheus]

tbh "[insert book here] is a published [fandom] fic with the serial numbers filed off" is no longer really enough for me to like. side-eye an author / their book. like obviously context matters so depending on the situation/book/fandom/fic/author/whatever it might be a valid criticism and imo there are some structural and stylistic differences between what's acceptable in fic vs what makes a good book that you should be mindful of when adapting a fic into original work but i've read some genuinely good fics that are au enough to easily stand on their own if you tweak them a little and ctrl+F / replace character names

[lokiinmediasideblog]

How is the drugged pie fic going. I had an idea that eating the drugged pie could lead to the threesome

LMAO. I am kinda leaning to more of a thrillery angle. Trying to think of things to be forgotten. The drugged pie fic will probably be my least fucked up work yet. I see you are a Sylkius truther and I respect that.

[em0-snail]

Reading a disturbing fanfic and then seeing a note from the author along the lines of "based off of what happened to me" makes it infinitely more fucked up since like!!! Holy fucking shit it's real now!! It's a real thing that happened!! Jesus fucking fuck!!

[llycaons]

god damn I hate that very specific type of fic where lwj comes home after a bunch of meetings and is all stressed out and fucks wwx about it. like when it feels onesided? it just has the most rancid 'guy comes home from the office and fucks his wife as stress relief' vibes. gross

[alteredphoenix]

Maybe these kinds of fics are rare in DCxDP, but I would love to see how it handles Danny and friends thrown/mixed into the world of the DC Black Label Batman, where Bruce is either so relentless in cleansing crime from Gotham's streets that almost everybody turns on him (The White Knight saga) or so angry and ruthlessly fucked up from his parents being murdered that no one wants to associate with him (The Imposter).

[bluecatwriter]

I've been rereading some of my old travel diaries from my early 20's, and one of them seriously reads like a slow-burn fanfic. I was on tour with a small indie band and there was a cute guy my age traveling with the band. And we spent two weeks "accidentally" hanging out and sitting close to each other at the merch table in smoky bars and reading Tolkien poetry to each other and taking walks at the beach and sharing food and stargazing and sleeping next to each other on living room floors and giving each other back rubs and talking late into the night gazing into each other's eyes.

We never kissed. We never even held hands. I pretended to fall asleep on his shoulder once in the car, and one day I gave him a little kiss on the cheek. And that was it. We said goodbye two weeks later and we both thought it was forever and I pined so hard that I threw up.

A month later he sent me an apologetic letter saying that he was sorry for being so presumptuous when I clearly had no romantic interest in him, but that he had to be honest that he was in love with me. And I was like, "What?! He was in love with me this whole time???"

So yeah, we're married now (celebrated ten years last autumn) but if you're ever wondering if your slow-burn fic is too slow, or that your characters are too oblivious, just remember me and my now-spouse mutually pining over each other every single second of the day for two weeks without ever saying a word to each other about how we felt. I was reading my own diary yelling, "JUST KISS HIM ALREADY!"

[yourcutelittlegayfriend]

Imagine this

I've been reading some of this good fics about Yandere Batfam x neglected Reader and it got me thinking.

In some of this fic, usually it's Alfred that has given the reader some love and have not neglected the poor thing and I was like,

What if Reader is still neglected by the batfam but Alfred gave them enough love so much that reader just decided to stay just for Alfred and Reader really just treated Alfred as their real Father or Grandfather.

Where Reader just let go of any expectation from getting attention from the others and just strive to make Alfred proud and happy.

How the turns have table

Imagine reader walking pass the others not bothering to greet them as they look for Alfred instead and other stuff.

Dick seeing them practically skipping as they clutch on a medal hanging on their neck.

"Woah hey!-...um whatcha got-". He tries to say but doesn't get any answers because you were busy muttering to yourself 'I got first place! I have to show this to Alfred!' as you giggle while looking down at the medal and sprint away when you see a glimpse of the butler at the distance.

How instead of begging for the others to train you and become a vigilante, you ask Alfred to train you for self-defense (especially the stuff from his spy days).

Jason was the first to arrive at the manor when the team heard about some intruders getting in but halted when he sees you tying up the unconscious thugs on the floor.

"Hey Alfred is this right?". You didn't pay them any mind when some of them pile in as you pay attention to Alfred who was praising you and giving you more good defense tips while you and him pull the unconscious people out.

How you spend healthy family time with Alfred by helping him in cooking and chores that earns you some knowledge of the recipes from his famous dishes.

Tim was trying to grab a coffee when he sees you having a fun time with Alfred as you skillfully prepare for dinner and actually have good laughs with him.

"Okay, then after I fold this I should add some paprika, right?". You ask the butler as he smiles at you while sipping on the tea that you made for him.

"Yes, you're correct once again young miss/master". He said while humming after drinking the tea indicating how good it is.

Tim can practically see you lighting up as you cheered a 'yes!' from Alfred's confirmation.

How you revolved your time and passion to Alfred and actually deciding that only Alfred is the one you should waste your time on.

Damian wonders around the manor when you and him bump into one another.

"And what are YOU doing walking around MY Father's manor?". He asks while glaring at you.

you just sigh and turn while clutching away the art supplies you bought so you can paint in the garden with Alfred.

"Walking away from you that's what I'm doing". you tell him as you turn the other way not even bothering to argue with the boy anymore.

How you do well in your studies and aim to get a good degree/phd and act like a proper man/lady but not because you want to keep up to being a Wayne but to see Alfred's proud face as he watches you stand on the stage as you show him your diploma/degree certificate.

Bruce decided to take a walk from sitting down for too long when he walk pass a framed picture on the hallway near Alfred's room and double takes when he sees you and Alfred standing together with while you were wearing a toga and cap holding not just any graduation certificate but a college one as the both of you look so happy and him seeing Alfred having that loving and well pleased expression something he rarely sees from Alfred after becoming the crusading dark knight.

Looking at the date he couldn't believe that it has been more that a few years since the graduation happened.

All of the family who used to ignore you suddenly took a different turn and started to try and get your attention but they fail to see that you already moved on from them and only cared about the one person that have literally loved you from the beginning.

Bonus:

Imagine Thomas and Martha Wayne was mysteriously revived for a day and met the family but was deeply disappointed to the others and took a special liking to reader because Alfred has said many good things about them and them especially getting many good degrees something that the rest haven't gotten yet or never bothered to get (this is my hot take because my family are hellbent on us cousins to finish school) and you know for a fact that Alfred is really REALLY proud of the kid that he raised preciously