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thebiggerbear · 3 months

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Thankful

Summary: It's Father's Day again and you have an extra special present for Ben this time around.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Female!Reader

A/N: Happy Father's Day to those who celebrate! I think this was just my excuse to spend some more time with these two. 🤷‍♀️ I definitely took inspiration from a particular Jensen Instagram video for one of the scenes. 😉

All unbeta'd.

Prequel 1 | Prequel 2

Warnings: smut-ish (18+ - minors DNI); explicit dirty talk; breeding kink; language; a little fluff; Soldier Boy being Soldier Boy; Ben is one kinky motherfucker (or is it me? 🤔)

Word Count: 7135

Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel

SB Taglist: @deans-spinster-witch; @birdiellie; @heartlessdelusions; @nancymcl; @brightlilith; @muhahaha303; @just-levyy; @solacedthistest; @deansimpala; @foxyjwls007; @onlyangel-444

Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat; @deansbbyx

Hearing giggling and running around in the other room, you couldn’t help but smile and roll your eyes good-naturedly. “Ellie, Lilli,” you called. “Keep it down, please. Daddy’s still sleeping.” The girls giggled again which made you shake your head as you focused on plating the scrambled eggs you had just made.

Warm arms suddenly snaked around your waist and gently pulled you back into a solid chest, making you gasp quietly. “Daddy’s already awake,” a deep voice grumbled into your ear before lips were pressed to your skin underneath. You shouldn’t be surprised that you never heard him coming. Damn Supe skills.

You set the pan down onto the stove and rested your head back against Ben’s shoulder, hugging his arms and closing your eyes. You let out a sigh of contentment as you enjoyed the kisses he was placing to the side of your neck and your smile grew. “Mmm, how’d you sleep, baby?”

“You know,” he murmured against your jawline, making you laugh.

You turned in his arms and wrapped yours around his neck, seeing the dirty smirk on his face. “Can’t say I’m sorry about that.” You lifted up on your toes and kissed him with everything you had. You weren’t the least bit surprised when his hands began wandering with one ending up taking residence on your ass and the other at the back of your neck to push you further into him. You couldn’t help but moan as his tongue mercilessly plundered your mouth, bringing back memories of him kissing you this deeply last night after he’d brought you to orgasm with his fingers alone for the first round and you just had to have a taste. The thought of that, of everything his body had done to yours following that kiss, had you suddenly aching with want and need — always need. You didn’t think you would ever get enough of this man.

His hand had just lowered from your neck to grab hold of your breast when you were suddenly interrupted.

“Daddy!” Your daughters yelled excitedly in chorus.

You both immediately broke away from each other, gasping for air. “Shit,” Ben muttered under his breath as he quickly moved his hands to more respectable areas on your body. You shot him a look and he gave you a half-hearted shrug. While he was better about the language these days, that didn’t mean he still didn’t let certain words fly every now and then which your girls would suddenly pick up and make their favorite word of the day.

Ben seemed more concerned with something else right then, though, and hurriedly moved you in front of him before turning to face a beaming Ellie and Lilli. You could feel something beginning to poke you in the back and you had to bite your lip to keep from snickering. “Hey, how are my princesses this morning?”

“Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!” Ellie yelled.

Not to be outdone, Lillian (or Lilli as you all usually called her) yelled even louder. “Happy Fahdder’s Day!”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at your youngest daughter. She was only three but she definitely took after her father in the competition department.

“Awww thank you.” Completely forgetting his predicament, Ben crouched down and held his arms out, the girls running willingly into them. You smiled as you watched them kiss his cheeks and then squeal in laughter as he tickled them. This right here was your family and you couldn’t be more grateful. Who would have imagined when you had sought out Soldier Boy for protection once upon a time that it would lead to this? That he would one day become the most important man alive to you? That he would become the father of your children? Not you, that was for sure, but you couldn’t be happier with how things had turned out.

When Ben let up on the tickling, Ellie informed him breathlessly, “Daddy, we got you a present.”

“You did? You know I love presents.” He smirked up at you, full implication in his eyes, and you rolled yours. Yes, Ben loved getting presents. Christmas was a thing and you made sure to go all out for his birthday every year. You always gently teased him that he was high maintenance but you knew it wasn’t really about anything materialistic.

He had gone overboard on Ellie’s first couple of birthdays and Christmases and it had worried you because you didn’t want her getting spoiled. You didn’t want her getting the wrong idea on what those days should be about. They should be fun and full of joy, yes, but twenty two presents for a two year old? Really? She couldn’t even count yet how many boxes there were. What would happen when she could? Would she start keeping track, always expecting more with each year? Would you be raising a version of Dudley Dursley then?

After a pretty hefty argument the night of Ellie’s third birthday party while you were both cleaning up, you finally got it out of him why he went overkill on the gifts. Not only did he enjoy seeing her face light up when she opened up one of the boxes but he never had that growing up. Even though his family was well off, he received one single gift a year for Christmas and it was always something that was appropriate for his age but not a toy. For example, when he was ten, he received a tie. The same went for his birthdays. Though his mother always did something special for him on the side, his father couldn’t be bothered. The tough son of a bitch had even had the nerve to tell Ben that Santa Claus wasn’t real after he heard his son answering his mother on what he wanted from the man in the red suit that year. Then he had the nerve to insinuate that Ben was stupidly naive for believing such a “silly little story”. Ben was five.

Sometimes you wished you could bring his old man back and kill him again when Ben eventually disclosed things to you like this. Sometimes you also wished you could go back and shake his mother by the shoulders and ask her what she had been thinking by staying with a man who treated her and their son so poorly. Now being a mother yourself, as much as you loved Ben (and you loved him deeply), if he ever started treating your children or you in a similar manner or worse, you’d do whatever it took to get all of you away from him. You often had to remind yourself that it was another time when these things occurred and your husband hadn’t been born only four decades ago though he appeared as if he had been. You kept your thoughts to yourself, of course; you knew how much Ben had loved his mom. He had named your first daughter for her after all.

When he was done speaking, he still wouldn’t meet your eyes (something that usually happened whenever he shared his past with you like this) and you could see he was about to change the subject or make light of it with a badly timed joke. Anything to keep him from feeling vulnerable for too long or appearing weak in your eyes as he had once put it (and you’d done your best to kiss that silly notion right out of his head though it hadn’t worked). So instead, you immediately kneeled in front of him and took his face into your hands, forcing him to look at you.

“Baby,” you gently said. “I get why it matters to you, I do, but we just need to make sure as her parents that we do the right thing, raise her the right way. So, how about we cut the amount of gifts you get for her in half? At least for now. Just until Ellie is able to count that high. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to raise Kidzilla. Besides, Operation Terrible Twos was more than enough, don’t you think?” You nearly shuddered at the memory. You loved your daughter with everything you had, but whoa, that had definitely been a challenging time for all three of you.

You smiled when he chuckled, shaking his head. “You’ve got a point. Almost lost the war on that one.”

“What’s this? Soldier Boy admitting he was almost defeated in battle? By a two-year-old?” You teased.

“Hey,” He picked you up and set you down on his lap, making you straddle him. “You almost didn’t make it through that battle, either.”

This time you did shudder. “But I did. We both did.” You nuzzled him and whispered, “Ben, I’m proud of you. I don’t think I tell you that enough, but I am. You’ve been through a lot, you’ve made mistakes, but you’ve come out the other side and you’ve made major strides. I know you said you would do things better than your father back when I first got pregnant, but you really do. Every single day and I am so beyond proud of you. Ellie and I are very lucky to have you, baby.” You placed a kiss on his nose; you had meant every word.

His green eyes stared into yours and for the first time in a long time, you couldn’t immediately read him. You saw the love and adoration you always saw whenever he looked at you or Ellie but this time, it took you a minute to determine that what you were seeing was something similar to awe or reverence. And that shocked the hell out of you.

But you didn’t have too much time to think about it because right then he leaned in and kissed you, ripping your clothes from you with one swift tug, and stood up, turning to carry you to the bedroom and ignoring your irritated huf into his mouth from yet another outfit you would need to replace. It was obvious that he had decided the cleanup from the party would have to wait until the morning and you weren’t exactly complaining.

You had been a little more gentle with him that night and provided whatever comfort and silent reassurance you could. Your touches were tender, soothing, and loving. You were convinced that Lilli had been conceived that evening; she had arrived nine months later, almost to the day.

The same daughter that now had her hands all over her father’s face, trying to smush it in different directions for some reason. You watched as Ben patiently (and quietly) let her do what she wanted and this time, you were the one staring in awe. Ellie then asserted herself and hugged Ben closely, interrupting whatever playing around Lilli had been doing, which caused your youngest daughter to immediately yell out the demand, “Kiss, Daddy!”

“Okay. Kisses for my princess,” he laughed, and kissed her head before turning and kissing a frowning Ellie’s. “And kisses for my other princess.” Ellie’s frown immediately turned upside down and she hugged her father again. It was too cute and you swore it made your heart grow three sizes in a matter of seconds. Whenever you thought back to how you almost hadn’t escaped Vought’s clutches when a price had been put on your head, rather than let it paralyze you with dread as it had back when Ellie was born, you now let the gratitude wash over you. If they hadn’t, you would have never met Ben and you wouldn’t have the family you did now. You weren’t sure if there was a higher power up there watching over all of you or not but regardless, you were thankful all the same.

You may have also snuck a quick picture of the scene on your phone before quietly clearing your throat. “Alright, how about you guys go get your present ready in the living room and give me a minute to talk to Daddy?”

“Okay, Mommy.” Ellie eagerly nodded and let her father go, hurrying out of the room. Lilli did the same, determined to get to the present first. You shook your head, smirking as you watched. That competitive drive was going to be a problem when they got older if you didn’t find some way to nip it in the bud and soon. But for now, it was harmless and damn cute to boot.

Ben took a seat at the breakfast counter and gave you a nod of thanks, sipping the coffee you had just placed in front of him. “So what did you need to talk to me about without the girls around?” He waggled his eyebrows in suggestion.

You stood before him, leaning against the counter and gracing him with a knowing smile. “I have a gift for you, too.”

A salacious grin formed on his handsome face. “Oh, I know you do.”

“Nope, not that. That comes later, if you’re good.”

He leaned forward in his seat. “Actually, you’ll be coming later, if you’re good,” he promised in that deep tone he knew did things to you. Sure enough, you could feel that all-too familiar need begin to throb through you once again and you ruined your panties for the second time that morning. And the bastard knew it, too, because his nostrils momentarily flared and his grin immediately grew. He moved a little closer, like a panther closing in for the kill, and murmured, “I can still smell us. You’re leaking a little of me out of you right now, aren't you?”

His words had your body involuntarily clenching down on nothing as you tightly held onto the counter in front of you. If you had some of Ben’s strength, you were convinced your fingers would have dug into the marble. You pushed out a tiny breath and your body then relaxed, immediately releasing more wetness into your underwear.

“Ben,” you choked out in a whisper. “Oh my…God.” You quietly gasped as another gush escaped you, fully soaking you.

His nostrils flared again and in an instant he was by your side. “Fuck,” he growled into your ear when his hand skirted past your sundress and into your panties to confirm that he was right. “I hope this is my present. You know what? Fuck that, I’m going to give us both a present. I’m going to fill you back up and you better not let me leak out this time, dollface, or I might just take it as a personal challenge to our record. Then we’ll be pushing double digits no matter how much you might want to tap out.” Ho-ly fuck, double digits? Was he crazy? You’d have to wear a damn diaper for the next two days not to mention how sore you would be. But you had to admit, the thought was an extremely hot one for a second.

One hand of his was gently urging you down onto the counter while the other was quickly undoing the drawstring on his sweatpants, the hem of your dress lifted above your ass and your panties ripped off of you. One more second and he would be deep inside you, rutting into you fast and hard, and making you cry out as he sped you towards your release.

You still had enough presence of mind to remember that you had two little ones in the other room waiting on you and now was definitely not the time for you and Ben to get into an all-morning fuckfest. As much as it pained you to do, your brain cleared some of the lust fogging it up and you used your hand to push back at his waist. He immediately froze, his hand wrapped around his dick, and looked up at you.

“Not right now,” you nearly squeaked out, making you clear your throat. “The girls are waiting on us.”

He glanced in the direction of the living room, back at you, your ass, his dick, you again, and then back to the living room. “Fuck,” he hissed, slipping himself back into his sweatpants, tying the drawstring and adjusting himself as much as he could. “Okay. You’re right. I lost my head for a second but you’re right. I’m glad we didn’t…” He didn’t finish the thought and he didn’t need to. You didn’t want to think about what your girls might have walked in on if you hadn’t stopped him. How would you ever be able to explain that one to your six-year-old and three-year-old? That Daddy and Mommy were just playing a new game? Or he’d found a new spot to tickle you in? Tickling you…inside… Fuck. No, you weren’t going to think about that last part.

Ben gently cleaned you up with your torn panties, forcing you to bury your teeth into your lip to keep a moan at bay. He then tossed them into the trash and lowered the hem of your dress down, and carefully picked you up and placed you back on your feet, turning you to face him. He appeared a little troubled and you knew he was beating himself up much like he had back when Ellie had walked in on you when she was three.

You were pregnant and you were horny; Ben…Ben was always horny. He had you on your bed, near the edge (in more ways than one), and he stood over you, grunting with each slow, hard thrust into you. He controlled himself every time you two had sex so he didn’t hurt you, especially when you were pregnant, but you also liked a little roughness and he liked seeing you take what he gave you. You loved watching the muscles underneath his skin move as he fucked you like this (as you repeatedly told him, he had a body that was built to fuck to which he cockily told you he already knew that and proceeded to go about proving his point) and he loved keeping his eyes on yours with neither one of you looking away. The exchange would sometimes be so intense as he worked you both up to that edge that not a word was said, not a sound was made other than his grunts and echoes of the slams of his hips against your thighs and ass, and usually your orgasm would take you by complete surprise when it hit.

And it just so happened that this time around, your daughter had woken from her nap earlier than expected and climbed out of her bed to come find you. Because you and Ben were in the zone, you hadn’t heard your bedroom door open a little wider. Even your husband’s Supe hearing had missed it, his intense focus on you and what he was doing to your body. He had your legs up over his shoulder and he grunted particularly loudly on one rough shove into you and you couldn’t help but let out a cry. He smirked and began to pick up the pace, slamming into you faster, knowing you were close. The bed was creaking so loudly it sounded as if it were about to break. It wouldn’t have been the first time. You gripped onto the sheets and held on, biting so hard into your lip you could taste blood. Your daughter was still sleeping and you couldn’t afford to yell out a litany of expletives as the pleasure continued to swell inside your body. You were going to have to hold a hand over your mouth when you came. When suddenly, both you and Ben heard a crying sound that neither of you made.

You both turned to see your daughter standing there, tears streaming down her young face and looking frightened. “Mama,” she sobbed. You had never moved so fast in your life, immediately pushing Ben away and grabbing his t-shirt off the floor and throwing it on. Ben muttered a curse and quickly covered his lower half with the blanket that had been tossed aside. You had hurried over to Ellie who was a hiccuping, sobbing mess and held out her arms to you. You picked her right up and began speaking to her in soothing tunes, telling her everything was alright. You briefly glanced back at Ben before leaving the room, seeing the same disturbed expression on his face that you were seeing now. After that incident, he hadn’t touched you for at least a week and he blamed himself for not hearing her little feet pattering down the hall to your room. No matter how you tried to reassure him that it was a blameless accident and Ellie would be fine, telling him you doubted she would remember anything since she didn’t understand what she had seen, he still kept his hands to himself for a while. And it took a few days for him to be able to look your daughter in the face again.

It also took him a little while after that to relax back into sex with you and be fully present, not half listening for any sounds of your daughter waking up at night and wandering down the hall or him insisting that your body be covered in some way in case he needed to quickly move away from you. You understood his concern, his guilt, his shame, his mortification even, so you were patient with him and did everything he asked to help him feel more comfortable. Once it became apparent that your daughter wasn’t going to wake up in the middle of the night or if she had a nightmare he would hear her cries first, he eventually ripped your nightie off of you and went to town.

“I fucking missed these,” he growled, making you laugh, before sucking a nipple into his mouth.

So, remembering all of that, you decided to lighten things up. “I’m going to need that one in writing.”

He arched a questioning brow down at you.

“I’m right? I don’t think you’ve ever said that. I want it in writing.”

Ben smirked and tenderly rubbed his nose along yours, curling an arm around your waist to hold you to him. Crisis averted. “Good luck getting it because it’s never happening.”

“Oh, it will. Especially when I show you the present I have for you.”

He placed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “That really wasn’t my present?” He murmured, sounding disappointed.

You couldn’t help but smile. “No, that’s your later present. But this,” You reached behind you and grabbed something you had hidden under a newspaper. Yes, Ben still insisted on reading actual papers, and yes, you actually paid a few hundred dollars a year for the subscription. Well, the CIA did to be more precise but you still thought it was ridiculous. Though right now, you couldn’t care less; you were focused on Ben and this private moment between you. “This is your present from me.”

You urged him to open his hand and you placed the little device into it. His eyes widened when he saw what it was and glanced up at you to be sure.

You nodded, smiling. “Happy Father’s Day, baby.”

He tossed the positive pregnancy test onto the counter and picked you up, making you squeal as he hugged you tightly to him. You had just managed to wrap your legs around his waist when he began kissing you nonstop, smiling as you laughed in between kisses. Eventually, you both needed air. “How long?” He panted.

“Not sure. A few weeks? I have to call the doctor tomorrow to make an appointment.”

His lips covered yours once again. “Christ on a cross, we’re having another one.” He froze then and pulled back, staring at you. “Christ on a cross, we’re having another one,” he repeated, this time his tone sounding a little more daunted.

You playfully slapped at his shoulder. “Yes, we are. Don’t act like this is a surprise to you, buddy. This is what you wanted. We’ve been trying to knock me up for the past two months and we know just how potent your sperm can be.” Once Lilli had turned three, you agreed to start trying for another baby and Ben held you to it. If he could get five kids out of you, he would. Considering you were the one carrying all said kids and actually pushing them out of you, you compromised to three, four at the most. He hadn’t liked that of course, but you told him after your possible fourth kid (more like your third), if he wanted to go shack up with another woman and get her to carry more of his kids, he’d be welcome to it. He’d scowled at you but pulled you close, making you sit in his lap with a blanket covering you both as you watched Band of Brothers on Netflix.

“Well, this is boring as shit. Thank Christ they sent me over when they did, where the real fighting was,” he muttered in your ear a couple of minutes later, placing his drink on the side table. You were about to correct his skewed perception of the popular TV series when he lifted you up a little, yanked your yoga pants down, and urged you to sit back down on him (his fly now miraculously open). You did and the feeling made your eyes roll back into your head, and you couldn’t help but let out a soft moan. “Fuck,” he groaned into your neck. “As if I would ever leave this pussy. It’s mine, it will always be mine, and I belong right here.” He thrust his lips a little for each word and you gasped, reaching back to hold onto him. “You got that?” He growled. You eagerly nodded and attempted to turn your head to kiss him but he moved away. “Uh uh. You’re going to sit there, full of me, and you’re going to think about what you said.”

“About the kids?” You gasped when his hips slightly bucked into you at the word. “I’m not backing down on that.” It had been hard enough to get him to agree to a three year spacing in between said kids. If he could have his way, he’d have you barefoot and pregnant every chance he could. You had to explain to him how that wasn’t good for the female body and how doctors were now recommending spacing out pregnancies to give women time to recover. He hadn’t liked it but he had begrudgingly agreed, not wanting to do anything that might cause you harm, though he still thought sometimes that the doctors were full of shit. “Population control. That’s all it is. Guaranteed.” You had simply rolled your eyes at that one and took the win.

“No. The other thing you said,” he murmured, glaring at you before taking a sip of his drink.

“About finding someone else to knock up to get your other fifteen kids? I wasn’t kidding.”

The scowl deepened and he bucked his hips a little harder, making you gasp again. You laid your head back on his shoulder and attempted to kiss him once more. He leaned in as if he was going to give in but then quickly turned back to the TV. “Like I said, you’re going to sit here and think about that for a while.” A few minutes of tense silence later, he finally broke it. “You’re the only one I want to knock up with my kids — three, five, ten — doesn’t fucking matter. I told you I’d stick around the first time and I meant it.” His jaw tightened. “I’m not that guy anymore.”

You suddenly realized just how callous your words had been however unintentional. At face value, you had half been kidding, half been serious. You didn’t really want Ben to go off and have another family with someone else, for various reasons. You always got an unpleasant gut clench anytime you noticed Ben checking out another woman when you were out and about, young or old. He’d give you a smirk and say “Just looking in the store window, doll. I’m not planning on going in and buying anything.” To which you would shoot him your most lethal glare and not allow him to touch you that night. Eventually, he stopped looking — or at least didn’t make it so obvious — and those arguments soon dissipated into the past. Now, your words had not only unintentionally brought it all back up but you had also unintentionally reminded him about a part of his past that he didn’t feel represented who he was anymore. Sure, he’d told you about the fuckboi phase in his life, sometimes in excruciating and unwanted detail, but he had also told you that once he settled down with you and started building a family, he was eager to leave those days behind him. Much like the moniker Soldier Boy. He didn’t mind it when you mentioned it in jest like you had earlier, but other than that, he didn’t like you using it period. Well, not until you introduced one very sexy night of roleplay where you were the damsel in distress turned thankful rescued party who was willing to do anything to show her gratitude and he was the superhero doing the rescuing and benefitting from that gratitude. Thankfully, Elena and Maggie had agreed to watch the girls that one weekend because it certainly had been loud and rough and dirty. But other than joking or sex, you were asked not to call him by that name, especially in your girls’ hearing. Not until he deemed them ready to hear about his golden superhero days.

And now, he was mad at you. You let out a quiet sigh and then performed an around-the-world spin that would have made your old horseback riding coach proud. Well, maybe not in this situation. You grabbed Ben’s chin and forced him to look up at you. “I know you’re not,” you assured him. “I just meant I can’t have a dozen kids, Ben. I want to give you the family you want, that we both want. I do, but we have to be realistic here. That’s all I meant,” you finished in a whisper, pecking his lips. “I don’t ever want you with anyone else. You said this is yours?” You ground into him to make your point, eliciting a deep groan from him. “Well, this,” You clenched down tightly on him, making his breath hitch and his hands fly to your hips. “This is mine. You got that?” You finished in a growl.

His eyes darkened considerably and you knew there was no way now that you were making it through the episode you had been plodding through earlier; you knew what was coming next. That look said everything.

Sure enough, “Yeah, I fucking do,” rumbled out of his chest and in the next second you were on your back on the couch with him pounding away at you. Things had gotten a little…primal that night, to the point where he even told you “If you were a Supe, this house would no longer be fucking standing, I’d make sure of it”, but you had given him your reassurance, he was no longer mad at you, and you were back on the three kid goal with a possible fourth.

So, this was now your third pregnancy. You knew his heart was set on a boy; for his sake, you hoped this one would be the one he wanted so badly. While you had said you might be open to a fourth kid down the line, you had to wait to see how this pregnancy went first. The one with Ellie had been pretty much what was expected for a first pregnancy. Lilli’s, though, it had been a rough first trimester but thankfully it began to ease up near the middle of the second trimester and then was all smooth sailing from there. But the morning sickness had been horrible, almost violent even. There were many days you were down for the count where Ben had to pick up the slack with Ellie and you’d even had to call in Elena and Maggie as reinforcements, much to Ben and Maggie’s chagrin. So, needless to say, you wanted to see how this pregnancy, labor, and delivery went first and how juggling three kids under the age of ten between you and Ben would go.

“I know,” he groaned, bringing you back to the present, and dropped his head down to your shoulder. “Just…three kids.”

“And you wanted ten,” you laughed.

He lifted his head and smirked right at you. “Still do. But I know we agreed to four—”

“Three, with a possible fourth,” you corrected.

“Four—”

“Ben, I swear…”

He chuckled and cupped your cheek, kissing you. “I’m just happy, sweetheart.” As if that was a valid explanation for him continuing to troll you on this topic.”Guess we don’t need to worry about you leaking me after all.”

“Oh no, we still need to worry.” You quickly glanced down underneath you, hoping nothing had dripped out onto your kitchen floor. Not to mention, Ben might need to change his pants now. “We actually need to change really fast before we go in to see the girls because you need new pants and I am not walking around everywhere like this, making a mess.”

Ben turned with you in his arms and headed towards the hall. “Mmm, I like it when you make a mess. All fucking over me.”

Your cheeks heated and you blew out a harsh breath, blowing a wayward strand of hair out of your face. “Ben,” you hissed. “You’re not helping.”

He laughed and made a right turn into your bedroom, carefully depositing you on your feet. His eyes darkened as he watched you slip a fresh pair of panties on underneath your dress. You turned to find he had already changed and naturally, he was already tenting them. “Oh my God, Ben, you have got to get that under control. You can’t go out and see the girls like that. Jesus.”

“You could help with this, you know.” He pointed to his crotch. “It’d be faster.”

You shot him a glare. “Seriously? Didn’t we just go through this? Besides, I’d tell you to think of your grandmother in the shower, but knowing you…”

He made his way over to you, a roguish smile on his face. “I’m kidding, doll. Relax.” He slapped your ass, making you squeak in surprise, and grasped it tight in his palm. “I fucked another baby into you,” he boasted proudly. “I got to be honest, right now I don’t know whether I want to fuck you some more or I want to hold you.”

You arched a brow up at him. “Hold me?”

“I don’t want to take my fucking hands off of you,” he elaborated, a hand sneaking down to your still flat stomach, rubbing gently, and the other gripping your chin and staring into your eyes. “This is the best fucking Father’s Day gift you could have ever given me, doll. Thank you.”

You could see that he meant it. You knew he would be happy. You could also see the familiar fire burning in his eyes that you’d seen the other two times you had been pregnant. Nothing put him in a perpetual state of constant arousal than knowing he had been successful in knocking you up. The guy had a serious breeding kink but truthfully, so did you. Which had worked in both your favor twice now (Ellie hadn’t been planned, not officially anyway). You knew exactly what he was talking about with the hands thing, though, because you usually wanted your hands on him some way a lot of the time and even more so when you were pregnant. Which is why the next ten to twelve hours were going to be beyond difficult, especially if Ben was intent on teasing the crap out of you. But you had no choice but to get through it.

“You’re welcome, baby.” You quickly kissed him and then stepped away, taking his hand in yours and intertwining your fingers. He went to speak when you held your free hand over his lips. “Don’t. Elena and Maggie are visiting Elena’s father today. It’s a two hour drive, each way. We’re not calling them.”

His shoulders slumped slightly and he frowned in disappointment.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the pout staring back at you. “We can do this. Tonight, you’ll have me all to yourself and as a Father’s Day bonus, I will call Elena tomorrow and see when she’s free.” You shot him a wink and just as you’d hoped, the dirty smirk was back on Ben’s face.

“Hope she’s free for the next two days because you won’t be,” he growled and playfully slapped your ass again.

“Uh huh. We’ll see. Now, seriously, we’ve got two other kids waiting for us and they’re excited to give you their gift. What do you say we go in there and see what they made you?”

He stopped short. “They made me something?”

“Yep,” you confirmed, leading him out of the bedroom. “They worked really hard on it, too.”

“It’s not going to be some fucking cheap shit from Ellie’s school, is it? Something I’ll have to hang on the fridge and pretend to like every time she’s in the room?”

You dropped his hand and swatted his arm. “Ben! Don’t be such an asshole,” you hissed. “Your daughter loves you and you should be honored if she did.”

“I know she does but that fucking hippie school she’s in doesn’t.”

“It’s a perfectly good— No, you know what? I’m not doing this with you again.”

Ben slowed half a step and his eyes immediately glued to your ass. “Good because I’d rather be doing something else with you again, doll. You have no idea how fucking hard I want to ride you right now. Love that ass.”

You ignored him and his chuckle when you hurried your steps before the predictable slap could happen and silently flipped him off before entering the living room. The girls glanced up, their young faces brightening when they saw Ben appear behind you.

Ellie and Lilli both held up a sign they had made touting Ben as the Best Daddy Ever. “Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!”

“Best Daddy!” Lilli yelled.

And just like that, Daddy Ben was back, grinning wide and gathering his girls up in his arms when they ran over to him to give him a hug. You watched with a smile as Ellie read something she had written in class with her teacher’s help about her daddy being her hero. You pretended you didn’t see Ben’s eyes glistening for a brief moment. You held a hand over your mouth to contain your laughter when Lilli handed him a drawing she made him that had lines and all sorts of shapes in different color markers. He barely kept his expression in check.

“Uh, what’s this, Princess?”

“Daddy!” Lilli pointed to the picture and beamed.

Ben’s eyes briefly snapped to yours and you crossed your arms, arching your brows expectantly.

“I love it, Princess,” Ben told Lilli. “I can’t wait to hang it up on the fridge. But you know what I love even more than this drawing?”

“What?”

“You,” he growled before picking her up and covering her face in kisses, making her giggle. Ellie rushed over and threw herself on his back, hanging from his neck. He carried them over to the couch and started tickling them. Their giggles were loud and their joy apparent, and Ben’s laughter was deep as they attempted to tickle him back and smother him with their own kisses and hugs. At one point, he managed to glance over at you and you gave him a warm smile before turning to leave.

“I’m going to finish up breakfast for Daddy. Do you girls want pancakes or waffles?”

“Both!” Ben and Ellie answered simultaneously, making you laugh and the girls giggle again. You quickly looked back over your shoulder and it didn’t surprise you in the least to find Ben’s eyes trailing after you or when he said a moment later, “Girls, I think we should go keep an eye on Mommy. You know she can’t be trusted near any open flames. What do you say?”

“Yeah!”

“Mommy!”

You rolled your eyes at his open flames comment but your smile also grew; you knew what he was up to. Sure enough, after you had set Ellie and Lilli up with easy tasks and you were mixing the pancake batter, arms wrapped around you from behind and warm hands rested on your stomach. Ben buried his face into your neck, your skin being softly tickled by his beard. You reached a hand up to run your fingers through his hair and he let out a small sigh, hugging you even tighter.

Eventually, you had to move away to wash your hands and check on the girls, but he went with you. He only broke away to flip the pancakes for you and handle the waffle iron so you wouldn’t have to. When you were pregnant with Ellie, that kind of overprotectiveness used to drive you up a wall but by this pregnancy, you were used to it. It made him feel better and it helped you out; that was fine by you.

When you all sat down at the table to eat, he pulled you into his lap, ignoring your glare, and dug in. While you all discussed what to do for the rest of the day, you felt Ben’s hand back on your stomach, his fingers gently caressing the area. When he said something that made the girls laugh, you smiled. This was your family, right here: the two beautiful little girls who watched their father with such adoration as he talked, the man who was currently rubbing your stomach and winking over at you with that smirk, and the little one inside you who you all would meet in the next year. As you took it all in, you couldn’t be more thankful for breaking out of the Vought fold and seeking out its spurned OG superhero when you did. You wouldn’t be sitting here right now if you hadn’t; none of you would be. Your hand gently covered Ben’s and it prompted him to look over at you. You leaned down to place your forehead against his, closing your eyes with your smile in place as you felt him place a kiss on your nose. More than thankful.

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thebiggerbear · 5 months

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"You're safe now, I'm here." - Soldier Boy Prompt Response

Summary: Soldier Boy has been on a ton of dangerous missions in his time, fought a lot of battles, but never did he imagine he would be undertaking the one you had just tasked him with. Shit.

A/N: This is a prompt from @sydnee-kom-spacekru. A sort of sequel to the prompt response for "Sleep. I'll keep you safe." Been working on this since January 3rd. I had way too much fun with this one.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers out there, all of the fur baby mamas, and all those who celebrate!

@deans-spinster-witch this is what popped into my head when you said "dangerous mission" lol. Once it was in there, I couldn't get it out. I hope it's decent and that you like it.

Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.

Warnings: Soldier Boy being himself; some misogyny; some homophobic language; some antiquated thinking (SB); angst; a lot of mentions of shit (yes, literal shit); language (I guess?); some smut; mention of breeding kink; a bit of a lactation kink (I know they did the Coke and milk thing in the show but you can't tell me he wouldn't have at least been on the verge of this kink if the opportunity arose)

Word Count: 11k+

Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel

SB Taglist: @deans-spinster-witch; @birdiellie; @heartlessdelusions; @nancymcl; @brightlilith; @muhahaha303; @just-levyy

“You’re safe now, I’m here.”

SDV Leah version ✨ Russell Shaw version 1 & 2 ✨

Ben let out an aggravated sigh for what felt like the fortieth time and turned back to the table, his nose wrinkled. He glanced down and saw his daughter’s wide eyes watching him as she kicked her little legs, slobbering all over the fingers of one hand she had in her mouth. He made a face and shook his head, remembering when he told her “You’re lucky you’re cute, kid”, when she’d done the same thing about an hour before. He didn’t know what was so tasty about those fingers especially when there were other tastier options available.

Speaking of which, you just had to pick the fucking perfect time to do your pumping shit so he would be stuck doing this shit, in the literal sense of the word. Ben thought he’d been on dangerous missions before but nothing ever made him want to retreat in the other direction more than the one he was about to embark on. The smell wafted up to him once more as the baby kicked her legs again.

“Christ, this kid fucking stinks.”

“Language!”

He rolled his eyes and glanced back over his shoulder, though he couldn’t see you. “It’s not like she understands what the fuck I’m saying!”

“Ben! We talked about this!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, turning back to his little girl. “No cursing around the baby,” he mocked you in a high voice, smirking when a small smile formed on her face.

Another wave hit him and he held a hand up to his nose. “Are you almost done in there?” He complained.

“No! I still have a little more to go.” He knew that; he could hear the machine still making its weird noises almost as if it was next to his ear. He hated and loved that thing. Hated it because it was so damn loud to his ears and it ruined a perfectly sexy image in his head when he first saw you doing it. Loved it because it was helping your body do one of the natural things it was designed to do and it also allowed him to get some one on one time with you out of the house for the occasional few hours if you could get Elena or Queen Lesbo to babysit. As a matter of fact, as harsh as the sounds were and how unsexy it was, it got him downright hard sometimes when he thought of either scenario because both brought it all back to sex for him. Either he was daydreaming about fucking another baby into you while watching you or he was thinking about how he was going to be fucking you later that evening when the two of you were alone. This time, though, it was going to be neither.

You were getting ready to go out to have lunch with Elena, have some girl time or some shit. Whatever the fuck that meant. It certainly wasn’t what he’d been thinking the first time you mentioned it, which to him was a complete fucking wasted opportunity. He wasn’t into Elena at all or The One-Eyed Bitch Queen but he was definitely into seeing you get off. Just as long as it wasn’t another guy, he was good with it. But instead, his hopes had been dashed when your expression of disgust transformed into you pinching the bridge of your nose and explaining what girl time for you actually meant. His annoyance grew (and his nerves skyrocketed though he would never tell you that) when you mentioned he would be the one babysitting this time. He wasn’t happy but neither were you and when it came down to it, you were the victor of that argument.

And now he had this shit on top of it, pun very much fucking intended. Needless to say, Ben was beyond done at this point.

“Just change the diaper already,” you urged, your tone strained with the last threads of patience. “The longer she stays in her own mess, the more likely she is to get a rash and possible infection. Then she will be in pain and she’ll have to see the doctor. We don’t want that to happen. I’ve told you this time and time again and I’ve shown you how to do it. No more excuses, Ben. Just change it.”

Ben could feel his ire rising. “So you want me to do what you should be doing? I’m not the goddamn woman here!” He regretted it as soon as he said it. He heard you turn the machine off and he knew he was in for it now.

“What did you just say?” He heard you ask menacingly from the other room. Oh fuck. He knew he had about ten seconds to turn this around or the rest of the day and night were going to be shit. Worse than the actual shit he was smelling. He’d be lucky if he’d be able to sit next to you at the table later at dinner, never mind touch you again for the next few days.

“Nothing,” he grumbled, pulling a new diaper from the open package next to him and glancing down at the squirming baby in front of him. He was relieved when he heard the machine start up again and leaned over the table to lay down the law to his daughter. “Alright, look, kid, we gotta make some sort of deal here. You can’t be shitting up a storm and stinking up the place while your mother is out. Piss I can deal with. Puke, bad but doable. Shit…no fucking way.” He began to unbutton her onesie, screwing up his face in disgust as the smell slapped him in the face. “So if you really care about your old man and you want him to be happy, you’ll stop shitting all over the goddamn place. Got it?”

The baby gurgled back at him and he saw more drool coming out of her little mouth.

Ben shook his head, giving her a sharp look. The least she could do was not look so happy about him having to do this for her. He gently pulled her legs out of the onesie as you’d shown him how to do (he ripped one too many the first week she was home) and he frowned when he saw a damp brown stain, the smell becoming even worse. He lifted her legs and as he’d suspected, the shit was fucking everywhere, having catapulted past the edge of the diaper and down her back. He briefly shut his eyes and looked away, groaning loudly, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” He attempted to take a breath that didn’t smell like he was wading around in the worst shit someone ever took. Like he was that little bastard Termite and he’d shot too far off the mark.

“Now what?” You yelled back.

“She shit everywhere! It’s all up and down her back.” He looked back down at his daughter. “Really?” Another gurgle. “Christ.”

“Yeah, because she’s been sitting in a full diaper for the last thirty minutes while you’ve been non-stop complaining about it, that’s why! Just get her cleaned up and into a new diaper, some new clothes, and then put her in her bouncy chair so you can clean the table. Or if you’re feeling adventurous, give her a bath. A bath is probably better.”

“Why don’t you come in here and fucking handle it then? I’ve told you, my sense of smell is about ten times what yours is!”

You huffed out an aggravated breath. “Because you have to learn how to take care of her, Ben! You’re her father for God’s sake. You should be able to handle one damn diaper change without being a child about it! What if I wasn’t here anymore? You’d be the one doing it all then.”

He straightened up at that, glaring back in your direction. “What do you mean if you weren’t here? Where the fuck would you go?”

“Language, Ben! Jesus!”

His jaw clenched and he turned back to grab a fresh wipe or five. He bunched them up in his hand and lifted the baby’s legs and began to wipe. There was so much shit, the wipes were filled instantly and it got onto his hand. “Fucking hell!” His daughter’s smile faded and she began to look as if she were about to cry.

“What now?” You snapped.

“It’s all over my goddamn hand, that’s what!” He bellowed.

“Well, wipe it off, get her cleaned up, then wash your hands.” There was no compassion in your tone, only irritation.

Ben should have shut the fuck up right then and there, and just done what you’d tasked him with. But, he was fucking done and livid at your obvious lack of sympathy. “This isn’t my fucking job! It’s yours! You should be doing this! Real men don’t change their kid’s shitty diaper! Women do!”

The machine shut off again but this time, Ben didn’t give a fuck. He’d had it. He knew you’d be pissed at what he’d just said but too fucking bad. It was true, whether you liked it or not. No matter what today’s society had to say or not. Women were the caregivers, the nurturers or whatever the fuck he’d heard on that bald-headed doctor’s show the other day, the givers of life or some shit. Real men did their job in making the kid, being the father, and putting food on the table for his family while also providing a roof over their heads. That’s how it always worked and that’s how it should still be today. He’d done his job: he’d protected you, knocked you up with his kid, and stuck around to be its father, even after finding out it wasn’t going to be the son he’d initially hoped for. And here you were, trying to get him to fucking play Mr. Mom so you could go out for a few hours and get some girl time that wasn’t even going to reap any benefits for him after you’d left the kid with him all afternoon? No fucking way. His jaw tightened as he heard you approaching quickly. He didn’t care how pissed you were; he wasn’t backing down.

But just then, the baby began to cry, having been scared by him yelling angrily (and probably because she was wet and uncomfortable and had been for some time now). He glanced down at her, his jaw unclenching and his features softening slightly. Fuck no. Ben could withstand a lot of shit (minus actual shit), and not a lot affected him, but his daughter’s cries? And because of him? That was his kryptonite. “No, no, no. Don’t cry, Princess. Daddy’s sorry he yelled, okay? He didn’t mean to scare you,” he quietly soothed. He went to pick her up to hold her, forgetting that she had shit all over her, and he only realized it when it dripped all down the front of his shirt and his hands and arms were covered with it as he balanced her against his chest. “Ahhh shit!” The baby began to cry louder.

You appeared, the top of your dress fixed and buttoned, a furious expression on your face. You held out your hands. “You’re safe now, I’m here,” you spat. “Give her to me.”

Ben glared down at you. He had been spoiling for a fight a moment ago but after the baby started to cry, some of the fury went out of him, and apparently right into you it looked like. “Listen, don’t get all pissy because—”

“I said,” you snapped. “Give her to me.”

Ben shot you a look but did as you said. He watched as you got shit all over you but you didn’t even flinch. Instead, you snatched the fresh diaper from the table and unfolded it to place behind your daughter’s poop chute before grabbing the canister of fresh wipes and a towel. You didn’t even look at him as you passed by him to head into the bathroom. Fuck, he was definitely in trouble.

He grimaced down at his messy shirt and removed it, balling it up and throwing it into the baby’s laundry basket. He made his way to the open door of the bathroom, stepping in to wash his hands and forearms at the sink as he watched you in the mirror, sitting on the edge of the tub and filling it with water, the baby’s own tub inside it. You were cooing at your daughter who wasn’t crying anymore but letting out little whines that threatened to extend back into a crying jag if need be. The baby was unhappy and from the looks of it, so were you.

He dried his hands as you began to use the fresh wipes to clean your daughter. “There we go, Ellie,” you murmured. “We’re going to get you all nice and clean, okay?”

Hearing your soft-toned reassurances to the baby, Ben figured now might be as good a time as any to try to start melting away some of your anger with him. He cleared his throat. “If you want, you don’t have to use that thing. I can get in the tub with her. I have to clean up anyway.” He gestured to his bare chest but you didn’t even look up.

“I think you’ve done quite enough today, thank you,” you answered, your tone full of ice. Yeah, he was in fucking trouble. Fuck.

“Don’t be like that. I’ve told you, my sense of smell is ten times more powerful than yours. I tried and it just didn’t work out.” He crossed his arms, his jaw tight. Why would you be fucking pissed at him? He tried his best. He got shit all over for him as a result for Christ’s sake. And he only spoke the truth.

“And what the fuck do you think this is? Chocolate? Paint?” You gestured to the shitty fresh wipes sitting in the diaper and to your ruined dress. That wasn’t what stopped him short; you never cursed in front of your daughter.

You continued to carefully clean the baby in your lap. “I told you when I found out I was pregnant that I would do it myself. You could take off and go do whatever you wanted to do after you held up your end of the deal. You could go get high, get drunk, fuck a ton of women, play at being a superhero — whatever. But no, you said you wanted to stay. Insisted on it, actually. I told you then.” You threw another freshwipe into the diaper and grabbed a clean one. “If you stay, if you really want this, then you need to be all in. Do you remember that?”

“What the fuck are you talking about? I am all in.”

“You call this all in?” You gestured towards the messy baby who had her hands in her mouth, watching her mother, tears still dotting her eyes.

Ben started to feel uncomfortable, something almost like shame itching at his skin, and he didn’t care for it. He dropped his gaze to the ground. “So I didn’t change one shitty diaper. You don’t need to make a big fucking deal over it.”

“Ben,” you seethed. “Look at me.”

He reluctantly glanced up at you, still annoyed.

“She’s your daughter and she can’t do these things for herself right now. Sometimes it’s going to be messy and sometimes it’s going to smell so bad you gag. And yeah, sometimes it’s going to make you uncomfortable, but you push through all of that because you’re her father and you love her no matter what. Because you want to take care of her, to make sure she is healthy and happy every single day. She’s our responsibility for the rest of our lives. It’s no longer about you, me, or anyone else. It’s about her. Just her. That’s it.”

He unclenched his jaw, hearing the seriousness of what you were saying, the truth he didn’t want to think about underlying your very words. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his daughter, he did, but why were you so insistent on giving him the dirty work? You knew how he felt about doing this type of shit. Not to mention, it felt like you were trying to shame him for not wanting to change one fucking diaper, like you were implying that he wasn’t a good father if he didn’t waltz into the nursery, smiling and eager to do it. He was a good father and a damn good provider. If it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t even have this place to call home. He was the one who sacrificed and played nice with the old bitch and Butcher. Hell, If it wasn’t for him, neither of you would even be here right now!

Ben hated himself when he had that thought. What the fuck was wrong with him? But since he didn’t want to look at that too closely, instead he turned it back on you.

“I don’t need you lecturing me on how to be a father. I am a good father, goddammit! Hell, I’m a better father than my old man ever was. I provide for her and you every single day. I gave up everything to protect you, be with you, and be there to take care of my kid. Which is a lot fucking more than some of the other dames I’ve knocked up over the years can say. I put my life on the line for you both! And this is the thanks I get? Because I didn’t change one shitty fucking diaper?” He scoffed. “You are one ungrateful bitch.”

Your eyes widened slightly and Ben regretted his words the moment they flew out of his mouth. He hadn’t meant to say those things, not to you.

Your eyes dropped to your daughter in your lap who was staring back up at you. You nodded and after a moment, you scowled up at him. “Well, since we’re such a burden and keeping you from your great life…don’t let the door hit you on your misogynistic and spoiled ass on the way out.” He could see your eyes shimmering but he could also see the absolute fury and ice daggers you were shooting him with, too. He knew then just how badly he had fucked up.

“Y/N, I—”

“I mean it. Get your shit and leave. I’ll do this alone just like I planned to all along anyway. There you go, you’re free. No more nagging from this ungrateful bitch, no more having to act like you give a shit about either of us, no more being weighed down. You’re free to go and get fucked up and drink all you want, Soldier Boy. Go knock up some more dames and then leave them to raise those kids all on their own, too. You know, like a real man does.” If your glare could kill alone, Ben would be six feet under right now, the one thing that could end him that the Ivans never found out about.

You placed your daughter in her little tub and stormed over to him, shoving him out the door. You couldn’t really move him but he was so caught off guard at your outburst, your words, that he moved where you pushed him. “And best of all, no more shitty fucking diapers!” You slammed the bathroom door in his face and locked the door, knowing it wouldn’t keep him out if he wanted in, but the message was clear. You were done and you were willing to go it alone; you didn’t need him and you had enough of his bullshit. He’d not only heard it in your voice, your words, but he’d also seen it in your eyes. That hurt way more than he ever thought it would.

He stood there staring at the door, stunned. His daughter began to cry and he heard you soothe her with “Shhh, it’s okay, sweetness. Mommy’s here. We’re going to get you all cleaned up and feeling better in no time. Don’t you worry, Ellie.” You began to coo to her as you bathed her and before long, she was making happy noises again. You’d even made her laugh once.

Ben stood there, not feeling right about what just happened or that his family was on the other side of the door. He could break it down if he wanted to, you both knew that, but he wouldn’t. Nor would he break the lock to get in. He knew he had let his irritation get the best of him and he’d said some things that he couldn’t take back, no matter how he might try to apologize now. Why the fuck had he said those things, anyway?

He loved the life you had now (minus the shitty diapers obviously) and the family you’d started to build. Hell, he loved you, something he hadn’t ever really felt before for a woman other than his mother. He thought he’d felt it once with Crimson Countess but he’d been wrong. What he thought he felt for her paled in comparison to what he actually felt for you. Not just for having his kid but also for loving him and not the suit. Yes, you’d gone to him for protection and yes, he’d done his best to take advantage of that fact, but something genuine formed between the two of you. Before long, he wasn’t just protecting you to hold up his end of the deal, he was also protecting you because he couldn’t bear to lose you. He was over a century old and he had never come across someone like you before, someone who actually saw worth in him as something more than a quick lay or a celebrity or a supe. Someone who worried for him when he left your sight or took on one of your would-be assailants. Someone who actually wanted to build a life with him — with him, not Soldier Boy.

So why the fuck had he said those things? He knew why. You had made him feel ashamed that he hadn’t gotten the job done, that he hadn’t completed the one mission you’d given him and you hadn’t even left the house yet. You’d had to come in and rescue him, do the task instead, and you hadn’t balked or even thought twice about it.

You were softly singing to Ellie and he could hear a couple of breaks in your voice, betraying how upset you really were though you were trying to hide it for your daughter’s sake.

Ben hung his head in shame when he heard you get choked up and stop for a moment, sniffling, before you started back up again. He threw on a fresh shirt and got to work cleaning the shit from the changing pad and this time, he didn’t complain.

Ben watched as you carried the baby into the room, still not looking at him. You saw that the table was clean and moved over to place your daughter on it, grabbing the clean onesie he’d set aside and began to dress her. “You’re still here?” You bit out though he could detect a hint of genuine surprise there, too.

“Still here,” he murmured, hoping you would hear how sorry he was without him having to say it.

You finished buttoning up the onesie and popped the pacifier into Ellie’s mouth that he’d left out for you. “Think you can manage to watch her while I take a ten minute shower?”

“Since when do you take ten minute showers?” He’d meant it as a teasing question, to try to lighten the mood a little, but you turned a glare onto him, beginning to unbutton the top of your dress.

“Forget it. I’ll put her in her bouncy seat and bring her in with me. You can go.” You went to pick up the baby when he held his hands out.

“I can watch her. Go take your shower.”

He could see the clear distrust in your eyes but you handed him your daughter nonetheless but not before you kissed her head. “Mommy will be right back, Ellie,” you whispered, stroking her back. You glanced up at him, unsure, but then turned to make your way to the bathroom, continuing to undo the fastenings on your dress. He let out a huge sigh when he heard the door snick closed and the shower start up.

“Daddy’s in big trouble, Princess,” he murmured to Ellie. She gazed up at him, going to town on her pacifier, her brows drawing together slightly from the effort. He smiled and dropped a kiss down on her little forehead. “That’s one thing you have in common with your old man. We love the nipples.” He chuckled under his breath, imagining just how hard you would roll your eyes and swat at his shoulder if you heard that. But instead, he heard a much more heartbreaking sound from you. You were crying…in the shower. Fuck.

At that moment, he heard a car slowing down and pulling into the driveway. One glance out the window confirmed it was Elena. In the midst of all this, he’d forgotten you had plans for the day. Just then, he got an idea and hurried towards the front door. He had just reached it by the time Elena was about to push the doorbell. He whipped it open, making her jump in surprise. After she saw it was Ben with the baby in tow, she recovered quickly. “Oh, hey Ben. Is Y/N ready yet? Hi, Ellie.” She gave a tiny wave to your daughter, smiling.

“Uh, not yet. She’s in the shower. Hey, can you watch Ellie for a few? I’ve got something I need to do and I can’t take her with me.”

Elena seemed uncertain for a moment, studying him as if she were wondering what he was about to do, but then relented with a shrug. “Sure.” He opened the door wider for her to come in and once she had put her coat and purse on a chair, he handed Ellie over to her.

“Thanks. Be right back, Princess.” He stroked the back of the baby’s head with his fingers before hurrying out of the room, intent on doing whatever he had to in order to make things right.

Ben quietly slipped into the bathroom, undressed, and snuck into the shower behind you. You had stopped crying after the doorbell sounded so you most likely knew Elena was here and waiting. You were rubbing suds-covered hands all over the front of your body.

While you cleaned your front, Ben’s eyes roamed over your back. He was already predictably hard, just seeing you naked. You had the perfect ass and even though you still had some baby weight that you were trying to lose, in his eyes, you were fucking gorgeous. You had mournfully admitted a couple of weeks ago that your stomach was soft and you were embarrassed by the visible stretch marks and your wider hips, not to mention the few pounds sticking around. Your breasts were bigger (something he didn’t see as a problem), the areolas darker than ever before, and you were feeling a bit insecure about your new shape. He loved the new you, which he made sure to tell you over and over as he fucked you that night. You were the mother of his kid, you’d given birth to her, nourished her from your body, and you could give him even more. It endlessly fascinated him that his seed had taken root in you and a healthy child grew from it, one that was half you and half him. He’d literally fucked a baby into you and every time he saw you like this, he wanted to do it again (though you’d told him your body needed at least a year or two to recuperate before you could even entertain the idea of another pregnancy). You looked so fucking gorgeous carrying his kid and now, you were even more beautiful if that was possible. It was pure beauty that he saw when you breastfed his daughter, when you smiled down at her, talked to her, and rocked her to sleep. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t want you, on your back (or your hands and knees, he wasn’t picky), taking load after load from him until he knocked you up once more.

So he had been dumbfounded and almost incredulous when you nervously admitted all of this to him, implying that maybe he didn’t find you attractive anymore and maybe he’d prefer a flat-stomached, tighter, younger, free-to-bang-all-day woman instead. That or some old lady. He’d fucked that notion right out of your head.

But now as he stepped toward you, not only was he incredibly turned on by you and how beautiful he still thought you were, but he also realized right then, just like he had many times before this moment, you were the only one he wanted. He wrapped his arms around you and pressed a kiss to your wet shoulder.

You let out a small gasp in surprise. “Where’s Ellie?”

“Elena’s got her.”

“Well, I’m not doing anything with you in this shower so you might as well get out,” you snapped and attempted to wriggle out of his embrace. When you couldn’t, you huffed out an aggravated breath and went back to rubbing soap over your skin.

He nosed your wet hair out of the way to get closer to your ear. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I never should’ve said that shit.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” you muttered, gliding soap down your arms.

“I love you,” he murmured to the skin of your neck before dropping a kiss. “I love my little princess.” Another kiss. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Really? Because it sounds like you want to be somewhere else.”

“No, I don’t,” he assured. “I told you when I knocked you up. You two are it for me.”

You slowed down your movements and he took the opportunity to hug you a little tighter, burying his nose underneath your jaw. “I mean it, doll. This is right where I want to be.” He slowly ground his erection into the small of your back to also illustrate his point. He meant every fucking word; with you, around you, in you — there was no other place he’d rather be.

You attempted to turn around in his arms and he loosened his grip so you could. He nearly let out a soft groan at the feel of your soap-slicked skin sliding against his dick. You stared up into his eyes and the smirk that formed on his face was beyond dirty, thinking you two were about to get to the fun part, your argument a thing of the past when you cupped his bearded cheeks in your suds-covered hands.

“Ben,” you whispered. “I need to know that if something happens to me…that you’ve got this with Ellie.”

Ben’s grin morphed into a frown and his brows furrowed. “What the fuck are you talking about? What do you mean if something happens to you?”

Your eyes began to glisten and his heart dropped inside his chest. What the fuck hadn’t you told him?

“Did some cocksucker threaten you?” He growled menacingly, the rage he worked so hard to tamp down for yours and Ellie’s sakes was attempting to breach the surface at the thought of someone even thinking about hurting you. Mallory had said you’d be safe here; had the old bitch lied?

You shook your head and that only helped to quell the fire burning deep within slightly. A light appeared on your face and you glanced down as it got brighter, eyes wide in fear. “Your chest is glowing. Ben, stop! You need to calm down.”

He took deep breaths as he’d learned to do, telling himself that you were here in his arms, right now, and you were safe. You were not in any danger. Hearing the sounds of his daughter a few rooms away helped him to get this fucking thing inside of him under control. He hated it, hated what the Reds had done to him, but it was now forever a part of him. He would do whatever it took to keep you both safe, even from this goddamn weapon inside his chest.

When you met his eyes again, there was no more light, no more glow lighting up your face from below. You lifted yourself up on your toes and brushed your lips against his. “Thank you,” you whispered.

Ben nodded and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you up against him. He nuzzled you, feeling much calmer than he had a few moments before, but he still saw the same worry in your gaze that he’d seen before his inner nuke started to fire up. “Talk to me,” he implored.

You pressed your lips together and briefly looked away and he knew you didn’t really want to say what you were about to. It made him incredibly nervous. While you two had argued before and you’d told him to go when he was being an ass…what if what you meant was that you wanted out of this? Fear immediately took hold of him — fear of losing you, fear of losing Ellie, and all because he’d been a stupid fuck who couldn’t keep his mouth shut. You both were the two best things that had ever happened to him since being injected with Compound V. He didn’t want to go back to before. He only wanted now and the two of you. Hell, he wanted to keep creating a family with you, the family he’d always desired but never had. What had seemed within his grasp just hours ago now seemed to be getting further and further away.

That thought had him speaking — no, downright begging. Soldier Boy begging…only for you. “Look, I know I’ve been a dick and I said some really fucked up shit earlier but I didn’t—”

You gently placed your fingers against his lips, effectively stopping him. You stared up at him sadly and that fear kicked into high gear. Fuck, he was losing you. And all because he hadn’t been able to keep his goddamn mouth shut or change one fucking dirty diaper. He’d fucking failed and now he was going to lose you and that dream he wanted to realize with you all in one swoop. All because he really was America’s Asshole.

But when you finally spoke, you said the last thing he expected. “I spent months running from Vought’s death squads before I found you. Even with you protecting me, even after I got pregnant, I was still in danger because they wanted me dead.” Your voice broke on the last word, betraying the tears that were imminent, along with the shimmering in your eyes getting worse.

His brows drew together in concern but he gently grasped your chin, making sure that you not only continued looking at him but that you heard every word he was about to say. “But you’re safe now,” he murmured. “Vought’s gone, Edgar and Homelander are dead…I would never let anything happen to you.”

Tears began to roll down your cheeks. “I know, but I keep thinking what if something goes wrong? What if one of the supes out there finds us? What if they get wind that I’m still alive? What if the surviving board members decide that I’m still a liability?”

He shook his head, moving his thumb up to stroke your cheek reassuringly. “No one survived. I made sure of it.” He placed his forehead down onto yours. “I promised I’d keep you safe, you both safe, and I did.” Ben tenderly rubbed his nose along yours. “Still do.”

He was slightly relieved that you weren’t thinking of leaving him but also unhappy that you had still been worrying about this all of this time and he hadn’t had a clue. He was going to do whatever it took to reassure you, to remind you that you were safe and that you no longer needed to worry about any of those pricks that you’d had to run from before. He still remembered the nightmares you’d had, the jumps and startles in the middle of the night at the slightest sound. Eventually, it prompted him to hold you when you went to bed, promising to keep you safe so you could get some sleep while he kept watch. You would finally relax in his arms and close your eyes, content to listen to his strong heartbeat underneath your ear, knowing you were indeed protected.

Sure, you’d kept your end of the deal and let him fuck you once you’d gotten some rest from running nonstop, but instead of getting bored like he usually did after hitting the same pussy a couple of different times, he’d actually started to like you. So he’d kept you close while he turned the hunt around to make Onehander, Edgar, and all of those assholes the prey instead. When he found out you were carrying his kid, he decided he’d do whatever it took to make you both safe and even ended up teaming up with the Brit and his team again, though he still didn’t trust them. Hell, he’d even made a deal with them to settle in this area and get you this house when you’d told him you wanted a home for your child to grow safely up in, to put down roots. He’d put up with your nearby neighbors, with having to see the One-Eyed-WonderBitch again, and shifting from the Supe life to suburban life (which was not an easy transition for him by any means). He did it all for you…for you and Ellie and the family you had chosen to have with him.

So to see now that after everything, you still didn’t feel completely safe, well…that bothered him. What kind of man had he been for you to keep feeling scared that Vought might come back at any moment to haunt you? He’d never given you details of the day that he’d annihilated them all for you because he knew you didn’t want them, but maybe he should have. If he had, maybe that would’ve helped to allay your fears of any possible reprisals.

“I know you do,” you broke into his thoughts. “But…what if something else happens? What if I get sick or get hit by a car or I have an accident and fall or I have a medical emergency that could be fatal or—”

“Hey,” he interrupted your rambling. “You’re spiraling.” Something you’d done quite a bit when you first met. His heart sunk at the thought; this had gotten to that point and he hadn’t had one goddamn clue. He’d been so wrapped up in you and Ellie and the life you were building that he hadn’t even seen it. Maybe his father had been right; he was a fuck up. An assertion by the old man that you’d unknowingly been dismantling every single day with how much you loved and believed in Ben, but now…now he felt as if he didn’t deserve you. He watched more tears spill down your cheeks and he knew he definitely didn’t; here was the proof.

“I know,” you sobbed. “I’m sorry. I just…” You took in a ragged breath and looked into his eyes, your bottom lip starting to wobble. “I need to know that if something happens to me, that you’ll take care of Ellie the way she needs to be taken care of. If I’m gone, she’s going to need you and I need to know that she’ll be okay.”

He tried his best not to be insulted, not to show it for your sake so he wouldn’t upset you anymore than you already were, but it stung his ego a bit. “Of course, she would be okay. I’ve kept her safe this long, haven’t I?”

“I’m not just talking about safety, Ben. I’m talking about you actually taking care of her. Not just providing for her, but actually being there for her whenever she needs you. Like the diaper change I asked you to do today. Is it disgusting? Sure. No one likes dealing with it, smelling shit, getting it all over you…but she’s your daughter and she needed you to take care of it for her. What if I had gone for breakfast with Elena instead? Would she have sat in her own crap until I came back home because you feel as a man that it’s beneath you to change your own daughter’s diaper?” More tears appeared. “What if something had happened to me while I was out? Would you just push Ellie onto Elena and Maggie to take care of her so you could go back to your old life? All so you wouldn’t have to do any of the messy or hard stuff? Would you abandon her just like that?”

“Of course not,” he snapped, his consideration for you now forgotten in the face of what you’d said. “How the fuck could you even think I would do something like that? Haven’t I been here through everything like I fucking said I would be?”

“Yes, but I’ve been doing everything!” The words burst out of you. “At first, you didn’t want to feed her, burp her, bathe her — any of it! And I did it all! Why? Because that was supposed to be the woman’s job you’d said!”

Ben could feel his temper flaring at you bringing that up. You were also intimating that he didn’t do anything for your daughter. Were you blind to all of the effort he had put in to help you raise Ellie since that fight you’d had a couple of weeks after she’d been born? Didn’t you realize that most mornings you woke up well rested was because he’d gotten up with the baby in the middle of the night so you wouldn’t have to? And you were still holding that shit over his head? What the fuck was wrong with you? “That was the way it was back then,” he growled out. “I told you that! And I’ve been doing all of that shit you just mentioned since then! So I didn’t change one shitty diaper today! I said I was sorry! When are you going to fucking let it go?”

Instead of responding, you exploded into more sobs and shame churned in his gut. He really fucking hated seeing either of his girls cry. It made him want to beat the ever loving shit out of some son of a bitch. Even if he happened to be said son of a bitch sometimes.

“Christ,” he muttered. “C’mere.” He pulled you to him and you held onto him tightly, crying into his neck. His hand slid down your back in a tender caress and he pressed his lips to your hair. “I’m sorry,” he whispered to you.

He kept you in his arms, hoisted you up so you could wrap your legs around his waist, and let you get it all out. He even shut the water off, knowing the temperature had vastly cooled in the amount of time he’d been in there with you so far. He vaguely recalled his plan from earlier to join you, apologize for what he’d said during your argument, and begin making up with you. That obviously had gone to shit; there would be no making up happening now, that was for sure. And if anything would get his dick to go soft with you naked against him, it was the sound of you crying.

Once your sobs quieted down and turned into ragged inhales and a few sniffles here and there, he moved your hair out of the way so he could see you. “Better?”

You nodded, sniffling as you looked up at him. “Yeah.”

“Okay, let’s get you out of this tub then and get you dried off.” He placed a kiss on your forehead and went to open the shower curtain.

“Ben?”

He froze and turned to look at you.

You lifted your head, letting out another sniffle. “I’m sorry, too.” Before he could say anything, you continued. “I know you’ve been trying and you’ve been doing everything I asked you to with Ellie. I just…I freaked out about the diaper thing.” You wiped at your face. “Because it just brought back that worry, that fear I have of what would happen to her if I wasn’t here.” Your voice wobbled slightly but you forged ahead anyway. “You know, I wasn’t scared like this when I was being hunted down. I mean, I was, but not like this. Back then, I only had myself to worry about. And then when I got pregnant, sure, I was a little more scared but I also knew you’d keep us safe.” You took another ragged breath in. “But ever since she’s been born, I have been absolutely terrified. That something might happen to her, to me…to her if something does happen to me. I’m so fucking scared, Ben.” Your voice broke then, prompting fresh tears to roll down your cheeks.

Ben had been insulted before, almost as if you hadn’t believed in him or his ability to keep either of you safe, but now as he listened to your heartfelt explanation, he realized it wasn’t really about any of that. It didn’t really have anything to do with him, except that you wanted him to be ready to care for your daughter if something ever happened to you. That unpleasant tug inside his gut happened once more when you finally confessed just how scared you were. He thought back over the last few months since Ellie had been born. Your push for him to be more involved; your fighting with him over his antiquated mindset as you’d called it over his ideas of what fatherhood entailed; your rushing him during your sexual escapades the few times he’d managed to get you away from the house while Elena watched the baby no matter how much it pissed him off that he couldn’t take his time with you like he wanted; your insistence that he watch Ellie while you go to lunch with your friend; your anger today at his refusal to deal with the shitty diaper situation — all of it suddenly clicked into place for him and made sense. Fuck, he didn’t think it was possible for him to feel any worse. He had completely failed you on all fronts. He had been the blind one; he’d never seen what was going on with you when it was right in front of him this whole time. Christ on a cross.

He gripped your chin gently. “Look at me.” You reluctantly met his gaze, yours glistening with fresh tears, and he could see the fear there plain as day. Fuck, how had he missed it all of this time? But instead of focusing on that, he sought to reassure you. “You and Ellie are safe. Nothing is going to happen. I would never let anyone hurt you. Either of you. I love you both too fucking much.” He grazed the pad of his thumb over your cheek to catch a stray tear that had escaped at his words. “And if it’s something that’s going to make you feel better, then let’s sit down and make a plan in case anything were to happen to you. Or even if I bit it. I want both of my girls to be taken care of, even if I can’t be here to do it myself.” You gave him a tearful smile. “So, let’s do that and kick this fear in its fucking ass. Sound good, doll?”

You nodded and leaned in, kissing him and making him smile. He’d been able to make you feel better after all and he felt damn proud of himself for being able to do so. “I love you,” you whispered.

He fucking loved hearing those three words from you every single time you said them; he knew you fucking meant it. And so did he. “I love you, too, baby.” When you beamed at him, another tugging sensation happened in his chest but this time, it was a far more pleasant one. He pecked your lips and opened the curtain. “Alright, let’s get you out of here.”

Before he could take a step out of the tub, you reached up and yanked the curtain closed, making his brows furrow. Your smile suddenly transformed into a devilish smirk. Immediately, he could feel his dick hardening again. He knew what that smirk meant. “We didn’t make up yet,” you murmured, starting to rub your body against his. “And we always make up after we fight.”

Ben felt the stiff peaks of your nipples gliding across his skin and his mouth practically watered at the thought of sucking on them while he rammed into you repeatedly. Fuck, he loved your tits. There had been a time after Ellie was born where you’d pushed his head away anytime he tried to get his mouth on them while he was fucking you, complaining that they were too sensitive due to all of the feedings. But recently, he’d been able to start that up again without causing you discomfort and once, he had even gotten a tiny amount of milk squirted into his mouth by accident. It had been surprising for him, embarrassing for you, but it had turned out to be a major turn on. He found he didn’t mind the taste and the idea of him drinking you down, you shooting something into his mouth for once and him needing to be the one to swallow, that made him hornier than he’d ever been in his life. He’d fucked a lot of women in his time, sometimes high, sometimes sober; he’d done things that made most people blush to hear about or uncomfortable to imagine, some things which you flat out refused to do. He’d founded Herogasm and had marathon fucks that were legendary. He’d hosted orgies where he would be the only one left standing, having never tired out and still raring to go when everyone else was down for the count. And yet, when you’d unintentionally squirted the smallest bit of milk into his mouth, his dick had gotten so hard, he was shocked it hadn’t exploded right there. Well…it did, but not the way he’d originally been thinking. He’d greedily swallowed you down and kept sucking, even through the first load of cum he’d shot into you in reaction to that fucking hot as hell moment. From that point on, while he knew your breastmilk was Ellie’s main food source and he loved that, his daughter had to learn to fucking share.

That was another reason why he had such a love/hate relationship with the breast pump machine you had. When he would watch the milk fill the bottle, he didn’t know whether to cry, jerk off, fuck you, or just watch. Sometimes he even wished you’d get rid of the contraption and just let him help you; it could be a rewarding experience for you both while you made sure Ellie had plenty to eat.

Your smirk grew, almost as if you knew where his thoughts had gone, and you ghosted your lips over his. “Ben,” you called to him in a teasing singsong voice. “I said, we always make up after fighting.”

He could feel something wet moving against his abdomen as you attempted to roll your hips, knowing it had nothing to do with your recent shower, and he ground out, “Yeah, we fucking do” before he slammed his mouth against yours in a bruising kiss that was all tongue and teeth. He turned around and carefully pushed you up against the tiled wall, making sure not to break it or you. It wasn’t long before he was inside you, his hips pushing into you at a steady pace, his mouth suckling at you and your fingers in his hair, tugging roughly, as you muffled your moans with your other hand. Neither of you had forgotten that Elena was within earshot; Ben just didn’t give a fuck. He snatched your hand away from your mouth, gruffed out a command of “Let me fucking hear you”, and he didn’t give two shits who heard the fucking hot soundtrack of your making up. Instead, as you cried out your pleasure for the world to hear, he went back to your incredible rack, focusing on filling up on you while he worked towards filling you up. The thought of any fear or resentment from your earlier argument was long gone as you both chased your highs at lightning speed. The only words said between you were dirty or full of love. And even when you both had been forced to take a mostly cold shower afterwards to clean up once you both had caught your breath, only smiles, tender touches, and kisses had been exchanged along with a few laughs, both of you completely sated. Well, you were; Ben would never get enough of you and he planned to try to fuck you again later after the baby had fallen asleep.

But as for right now, seeing the bright smile on your face as he carefully wrapped a towel around you, the weight visibly lighter on your shoulders since you confessed your fears to him, he was determined to do whatever it took to not only make you feel safe but also to keep you feeling this way and being this happy.

When you’d laughed at something he’d said, darted forward to kiss him, and wrapped your arms around his neck, his embrace tightened around you and he kissed the juncture in between your neck and shoulder, making you that silent promise. Whatever it took to make you feel safe again, he’d do it.

Elena glanced up to see you and Ben stepping into the living room, both dressed and looking refreshed. You had been missing in action for at least an hour and forty-five minutes. Elena already had an idea what you two had been doing considering everything she’d heard. Maggie had even heard when she called to check in and see when Elena would be returning home, beyond disgusted at the sounds Soldier Boy was making as he railed you in the shower. She’d told Elena to call her when she was done babysitting so the archaic asshole could get laid and promptly hung up. But even if Elena hadn’t heard what you’d been up to, she would have immediately known after seeing you both. Ben’s hair was still damp and yours was freshly blown out. Both of you were touching, unable to keep your hands off of each other and sporting matching grins, looking like practical newlyweds. Ben’s hand moved to the small of your back and both of you suddenly smiled wide upon seeing your daughter.

“Thank you for watching her and for waiting.” Your cheeks turned a shade of pink but you held out your arms. Elena was only too happy to hand you your baby back. “There she is,” you cooed, pressing a loud kiss to Ellie’s cheek. “Were you a good girl for your Aunt Elena?”

“She was a very good girl,” Elena confirmed, watching as Ben strode over and stopped next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you against him, his eyes centered on both of his girls with an affectionate smile to match. Sometimes Maggie still had trouble believing it, that Soldier Boy had been domesticated as she put it, but Elena never doubted how important you and Ellie were to him. She could see it every time he looked at you, at your little girl, and she actually thought it was beyond sweet. She had even said as much to which Maggie had rolled her eyes, muttered “Whatever, I’m going to vomit”, and walked away from the door while Elena waited to greet the three of you after she had extended a dinner invitation to your family one night. As expected Ben and Maggie didn’t get along too well, especially given their history, but the former seemed to be okay with Elena and she was okay with him because she knew how much he meant to you. And Maggie didn’t seem to mind you all that much, either. So you all somehow made the nearby neighbor thing work; for yours, Elena’s, and Ellie’s sakes if for nothing else.

“She did get a little fussy, though, so I fed her one of the bottles you had in the fridge.”

You nodded and pressed a kiss to the baby’s forehead, briefly glancing at the clock on the mantle. “It’s about that time. Thank you so much for doing that. I’m sorry that we missed lunch.” You blushed once more when Ben let out a quiet chuckle.

“No problem,” Elena dismissed with a smile and a wave of her hand. “I’m glad everything seems to be okay. Ben looked a little worried when I got here.”

You glanced up at him, your brows arching in surprise. Ben shrugged, seeming unbothered at this observation.

“We can maybe shoot for next week if you’re game,” Elena offered.

You went to answer when Ben cut you off. “Actually, why don’t you guys still go and grab a late lunch or something? Elena’s already here and you both are dressed to the nines.”

Your eyes widened when you looked over at your husband, worry lining your expression for a moment. “No, that’s—it’s too late. By the time we’d get home, it would probably be dinner time.” You let out a nervous sounding laugh. “Besides, Ellie’s going to need to feed before then and I—”

“You pumped earlier, right? I can feed her.”

You seemed unsure, biting your lip. “I did, but I’m not sure—”

Ben released you and held out his hands, smiling reassuringly at you. “It’s settled. You go. Ellie and I have got this. Don’t we, Princess?” The baby had her fingers in her mouth, drooling everywhere. Elena saw Ben shake his head, seeming amused.

You glanced down at your daughter, the happiness from before replaced by uncertainty. Elena knew you struggled to leave Ellie the first few times she’d babysat for you both to have some time to yourselves. It wasn’t surprising; you were a new mother after all. But this time, you seemed even more reluctant than usual.

“Hey,” Ben softly called to you, prompting you to meet his gaze. “Remember what we talked about. We’re going to be fine. I’ve got her.”

It was moments like this that convinced Elena of your importance to him. If Maggie ever witnessed them, she was sure her girlfriend would reluctantly agree. Never had Elena ever heard him speak that gently to anyone, even his own daughter. Not when she and Maggie were in earshot anyway.

Ben gave you a meaningful look and after glancing down at Ellie one more time, you eventually handed your daughter over to her father. “There’s my girl.” He leaned down to kiss the baby’s forehead.

You watched, anxiety still apparent in your expression.“Ben, are you su—”

He immediately darted forward to kiss you, cutting you off. Elena had the grace to look away and give you two a moment.

“We’ll be fine,” she heard Ben murmur to you. “I’ve got this. I promise, baby. Go have your girl time and then come home. We’ll be here when you get back.”

“You’re absolutely sure?” You checked one last time.

“Of course I fucking am.”

“Language,” you chided.

Elena glanced over and found Ben smirking down at you, leaning closer. “You didn’t seem to mind my language earlier.” As expected, your cheeks reddened and he barked out a laugh, kissing one of them. “Alright, go have fun and we’ll see you later.” Then he leaned in to whisper something to you that couldn’t be heard and your jaw dropped, gently swatting at his hip since he was holding Ellie in both arms. He laughed and moved away, his gaze a little darker than before as it stayed fixed on you.

You kissed Ellie’s head and stroked her cheek, smiling. “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. Be good for your daddy, okay? I love you.” Ellie gurgled and you smiled wider, leaning up to kiss Ben goodbye who immediately deepened it.

Elena was on the verge of looking away again when you pulled back, panting, and glared up at the smirking man in front of you. “You know, for someone who’s trying to get me to leave, you’re doing a miserable job.”

“Just giving you a little preview for later.” The stare between you two was so intense that it felt as if any unfortunate bystanders would suddenly burst into flames just from being too close. This time, Elena was the one nearly blushing. She would have never believed you two had just been having sex if she hadn’t heard it for herself. You both looked hungry and not for any late lunch.

You leaned in, as if to kiss him again, when you reached up and planted a kiss on his brow instead, smirking as you backed away. “Until then, Benjamin,” you snarked, turning to leave. “Love you.” You let out a yelp a moment later when Ben swatted your ass with a free hand as you passed.

You shot another glare at him and he simply smirked. “Love you, too, doll.”

Elena gently pulled you towards the door, thinking if she didn’t get you out of the house soon, you definitely weren’t going to leave at all. Or more like Soldier Boy wasn’t going to let you leave. Not with the way his eyes were unashamedly glued to your ass.

You waved one last time in your family’s direction. “Bye, Ellie. See you soon, babygirl.”

Ben picked up Ellie’s little hand and simulated a wave, making you smile.

Once Elena had you in the car and backed out of your driveway, she could see the earlier uncertainty returning. “So, what’s going on? First, Ben looked worried and now you. Something I should know about?”

You bit your lip and seemed to be mulling over whether to tell her or not. Elena gave you a moment to yourself to decide. Eventually you turned to look at her and sighed. “Okay.” You then proceeded to fill Elena in on everything you’d been feeling since your daughter had been born, everything you’d just told Ben.

Ben watched as you and Elena got into the car and left. He knew you would be worried but he was determined not to give you any reason to be. He meant it when he told you he had this. He wanted you to know that he could look after Ellie the way she needed looking after, which is why he insisted that you still go out to eat with Elena. He was going to make damn sure he passed this test and he was keeping his promise to you, that he would make you feel safe again. And if that meant he had to play Mr. Mom and change a few shitty diapers while you were gone, then so be it.

Once the car disappeared, he let out a sigh and turned to look down at his daughter. She was staring up at him with those beautiful eyes that reminded him so often of his mother’s, though absent of any of the heartbreak she had endured in her life with his father. That was why when you asked about possible names for your daughter after you’d given birth, he’d mentioned Eleanor to bestow upon her. You’d loved it, especially after Ben had explained the significance of the name to you, and so your daughter was named after her grandmother, though you both had ended up calling her Ellie for short most of the time.

He gave his little girl a smile. “We’ve got the place to ourselves, kiddo. We can do whatever we want. What does my princess want to do, hmm?”

Ellie gurgled and he nodded as if he understood.

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Let your old man show you his movies so you can see when he was a star. Good thinking, babygirl.” He chuckled when she gurgled again and turned to head into the living room.

Just then, he heard the sounds he had been hoping like hell that he wouldn’t hear until you were back. Ellie began to grunt, a few short farts sounded, and an almost undetectable thud was heard as shit landed in her diaper. Sure enough, a moment later, the smell wafted up and smacked him in the face. The smell was beyond terrible, something you had told him previously couldn’t be the case since it was known that the poop of breastfed babies didn’t smell as bad as other poop. He’d looked at you then with disbelief; how the hell did you not smell it when you were wiping the kid’s ass? Then again, thanks to his super-powered nose, you wouldn’t detect what he would. Like right now. It was fucking awful, like sour milk mixed with shit. Christ.

“Ugh.” He extended his arms and held Ellie out, away from him. He should’ve known this would fucking happen. It was just his luck. “You know, kid, for such a small thing, you sure shit a lot.” Ellie continued to make happy noises as if she hadn’t just taken a massive shit that was rapidly stinking up the room. Ben pulled her closer, his face screwed up in disgust as the smell got closer, too. “You are way too happy for someone who just shit their pants for the second time today.”

He glanced around, almost as if you would somehow come flying around the corner to help, or Queen Lesbo might show up out of the blue or something. Nope, this was all on him. He remembered your words from earlier, how he needed to know how to care for Ellie which included shitty diaper changes, and he let out a huge defeated sigh. “Fuck.”

Ben cradled Ellie in the crook of his arm, relieved there were no damp spots on her back this time, and turned to make his way to her nursery. “You know something, kid, if the day should ever come that I’m in diapers, you better fucking change ‘em without any complaints. I don’t want to hear a damn word out of you then, got it?”

Ellie made more happy noises and he rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” A small smile slipped onto his face and he lifted her up to his shoulder, kissing her cheek. “You’re lucky Daddy loves you, Princess.”

Almost as if she’d understood his words, she gave him a wide toothless smile, drooling onto his shirt. Instead of being disgusted, he chuckled and continued his trek. She’d unknowingly just given him a perfect excuse to change when you got home and entice you to get another shower in later. Thinking along that same line, feeling proud that this was now something he could do for you and for his daughter, something that would help you to feel better overall…well, he found now that he didn’t mind the idea of any shitty diaper changes all that much.

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