#if you're from the only community i care about (you'll know who you are)
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YOU 🫵 AGAIN HAVE FORSAKENED ME
I went to Walmart and saw THIS and was like, yeah I need that 😭 THEY HAD SO MUCH TF:ONE STUFF TOO?? My bank account is crying already 😭😭
Sorry for shit quality. I was excited 😅
All the figures! 🤣 Do it, do it, do it
Everything Is Alright Pt 104
IDW Starscream x Reader, Megatron x Reader, Soundwave x Reader
• “Problem?” Megatron growls, tempted to reach and touch you just to antagonize Starscream, but something about the expression on the Seeker’s face is almost dangerous. Furious and desperate and barely in control. “You should be gentler with your mate,” he says instead as Starscream’s optics narrow. Remembering those ragged sounds of grief you’d made and the way they'd twisted through his spark. You're only human and he shouldn't even care, but those sounds had bothered him. Never wants to hear them again. Sliding off the berth, he towers over the Seeker, ignoring as Starscream flares his wings. “Don’t make our pet cry again or I’ll take it out on you.”
• Gritting his denta as he stands his ground, Megatron shoulders past him, unconcerned with his anger. Not seeing him as a threat. Turning when the door closes behind Megatron, he mass shifts and grabs Soundwave’s shoulder, trying to pull him away. Hissing through his denta when the communications officer loops a possessive arm around you. Refusing to let you go from where he has you in his lap. “You left,” Soundwave growls in warning and his wings droop.
• “I came back,” Starscream mutters, optics sliding to you and expression softening. Kneeling beside Soundwave and offering you his hand. Asking you to come to him willingly. And you're not sure that you want to. Soundwave stayed and he didn't. “I’ll always come back for you.” But he still left you. Again. “Please?” That raspy whisper does you in and you reach for him, let him pull you to him and wrap his arms around you.
• “You keep hurting me,” you whisper and Soundwave’s spark constricts, hearing the unspoken ‘and I keep letting you.’ Knows you love the Seeker and he hates that fact right now. Hates Starscream as the Seeker rests his chin on top of your head, optics shuttering. Because he’s not sure the other mech understands how badly his rejection and denials hurt you. That alone convincing him that he needs Megatron tied to you. Someone that can force Starscream to be better. Because he won’t allow him to hurt you again. He can't. You'll forgive him in time. Realize that this was the only way. That it was all for you, to protect you.
• Grinding his denta at the pain in your voice and that you don’t sound surprised, like you expected him to hurt you. And that hurts him spark deep. Don’t you understand how much you mean to him? That you’re home and now a future? That you're the only spot of warmth and happiness in his life? Wings flicking as he tries to ignore Soundwave watching and listening, he tips your chin up and brushes his mouth against the corner of yours, nudging your forehead with his helm. "I was afraid," he admits, lips brushing yours, hating saying it out loud. Owning up to the fear and insecurity. Little, soft hands touch his face as you brush a kiss against him.
• "You think I'm not?" Because you're terrified and the one person who should have been there, ran away. Again. Really, you're the one in the dark here. Sparklings? You have no idea how this is going to work. Because the thought of actually birthing something like him, metal not soft flesh like you? There are so many questions, but you're half afraid if you ask them, he'll panic and bolt again. He's already so fidgety and uncomfortable. But he still loops his arm around you, holding you close. And you want to believe that he won't abandon you again, but you're not sure that you can anymore. Once is an accident, but twice?
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#transformers x reader#idw starscream#starscream x reader#megatron x reader#soundwave x reader#idw megatron#idw soundwave#soundwave#megatron#starscream
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Yes, this is a new account, I just made this. I don't care if people question the authenticity of my post, my experience as a shifter, or whatever I'm about to say.
I don't know how to use Tumblr, nor do I know how to make my post reach people who need it, nor would I be a narcissist and say "you're lucky if you found my post!" I don't mind if this reaches an audience or not, I'm glad to get everything off my chest.
Yes. I've shifted.
I have shifted realities, more times than I can count on my fingers, and that is for a very specific reason, which I'll explain later.
I'm writing this because I'm about to permashift, and no, I won't hear out any antishifters or people who don't like permashifting in general, I don't care about your opinion so don't waste my time.
Before I start, I'd like to say one thing:
I was irrational minded, I lacked belief in myself and shifting. Shifting often times felt like a chore more than a fun activity, and i have to admit, it became an unhealthy habit.
So? Why did I mention this?
Because I had been lurking around shifting communities and I realised everyone feels like this, a very (mentally) painful feeling where the lack of shifts starts acting as your biggest enemy, and the phrase:
"Shifting needs practice!"
Sounds like poison when it comes from an experienced shifter.
Though, is the phrase actually true?
No, not at all.
Shifting does not need practice!!
Here's why:
(BTW, I will explain my "method", no matter if I have time or not. Also, I don't call this reality "Current Reality", instead I call it Void reality, so don't get confused.)
The "practice" you're doing is only affecting your void reality (taking time out of your day, making you constantly think you're in your learning phase, so it doesn't exactly lead to your desired reality, does it?)
Of course, if you view it as a skill, it will in some way act like that, it'll become a skill for you, and you can never succeed on your first, second, third, hundredth try, because in your brain you have registered the fact that shifting is this grand, universal task, and that it is very difficult (because its common sense that you practice difficult things to get good at them)
Practice is a very humane and earthly act, if people have succeeded doing just practice, then good for then, they're right in their own way, but it didn't work for me, and in my opinion it's the worst way to view shifting, and often times it is demotivating, and you'll mess up you're entire journey.
Shifting is not a skill, shifting is a universal law.
I'll become more clear as I explain my journey:
My journey:
I found shifting from a random YouTube video 3 years ago. I might have only said cool and moved along.
A year later something traumatic happened in my life, which shook me so badly I needed an escape.
First of all, I chose astral projecting, but I realised I was too much of a coward to do so.
Then I came towards shifting, first DR was very typical, it was Hogwarts.
Having no knowledge whatsoever in the topics of spirituality, meditation, I went straight to methods, because they were like guides for me, I was very inexperienced, of course, and looked at other people and what they were doing for guidance.
Alice in wonderland method didn't do much, raven method was too uncomfortable (side note, all this raven method does is make you too focused on your void reality, cmon, in your DR are you laying down like a starfish?) And I was having terrible trouble with my intrusive thoughts (which made the floor disappear from under my feet, made the stairs for the stairs method too short to climb or straight up made them dissappear as well)
I didn't have any luck that year, no mini shifts, no lucid dreams, or sleep paralysis. And my DRs never remained constant. They always changed on a daily basis.
I was big on methods, I couldn't realize they never worked for me.
Although, this year of failure led me to finally figure out where I belonged.
A DR made out of scratch, which I spend much effort in putting the pieces of it together.
The DR, which was called "Home reality" really made me feel settled in my journey.
LOA, and the consciousness theory were the leading factors which made me shift.
And don't worry, it isn't what you're tired of being told, I didn't just apply any orthodox definition of LOA and succeeded.
Background to my first shift:
It was a particularly stressful day, I really missed my home.
I was studying at my college (I still am, but...) and I was dreading giving a chemistry test, I did not prepare. In my mind, one thing was constantly looping in my head.
The scenario of the chemistry teacher coming in, and taking the test, and the next day I get it handed back with a big fat zero.
But then I stopped and wondered, having already known about the consciousness theory, so according to it:
"I am constantly letting this thought run in my mind, and constantly letting this reality dictate what happens next."
Basically, I realized what was about to happen next was indirectly in my control, but with my line of thinking, I was letting this reality control it directly.
I stopped, like actually stopped thinking.
And with a blank mind I thought.
"I won't have to take any test today."
And went around telling my classmates this with a confident tone.
The teacher came in, said we'll instead do some practicals in lab.
So the test got cancelled.
Going home, I got excited, i felt powerful.
I decided to apply this to shifting.
Before shifting, I took a nap during the day, (if you're tired your body insists on sleeping, so your mind will get hazy and you will start acting lazy towards your goal)
And after living how I normally would, before bedtime, I listened to some songs, and look at a Pinterest board which reminded me of my home reality.
My method and what happened next:
First phase of shifting:
When I laid down on the bed to start shifting, I first got comfy (for me, if I feel sleepy for some reason, I laid on my back, I can't fall asleep in that position, but if I think ill stay awake until I reach a "detached state" then I sleep on my side, it's comfortable)
I obviously wasn't checking the time, but I spent about 10 minutes getting relaxed, all I do to relax is:
a) look at the blackness (closed eyes, looks like starry skies) and try to believe I'm looking at the milky way.
b) think about my home reality, just faces of my loved ones, and nostalgia inducing images.
c) Affirm, but don't focus entirely on affirming, usually in the back of my mind I'm repeating "I have shifted to my home reality" "I have shifted my senses to my home reality" "I have stopped sensing the void reality" "I am smelling, tasting, feeling, hearing and seeing my home reality" no other fancy affirmations required. (Now that I think about it, you need to affirm NOW because this method has two phases, one where you are shifting, and one where you have shifted, and you are in the 3D, where you are occupying your DR self, their thoughts, and memories, and popular method usually only have one phase, either you are shifting, or have shifted. So my point is if you affirm later and you'll be affirming when you're supposed to be in your DR, and obviously, your DR self won't be spouting out affirmations about shifting to a random reality for no reason.)
During this time, you'll feel tingly all over. It's a good sign.
And you'll feel a certain detachment, like you aren't exactly here, you have no idea what position you're lying in, and where your feet are. (Please, for the love of God do not start counting your feet or get freaked out that you can't feel your leg, you'll come back to the void reality.)
So you can start the next phase.
Middle phase (optional):
To prepare for the next and last phase, you can do this to get ready, or don't (First read the third phase)
This is all about connection to your DR.
Think about memories from your DR, focus on the faces of your loved ones, the way you act, talk, your mannerisms in your DR, or you can simply say affirmations like these one:
My name is ___.
I work as a ___.
My age is ___.
Don't try to imagine vividly or anything, lightly touch upon the basic details of your DR, the construction and foundation of any reality and the person, who has existed there for their entire life.
(That's you!)
Phase three:
Take a sudden, abrupt stop from your stream of thoughts. (Yes intrusive thoughts will still pop up but don't give any importance to them) when you're in a blank state of mind, not longer than 30 seconds, you need to build up to the last step of your shifting method, and journey.
a) start imagining hearing the voices of your loved ones or just any voice, calling your DR name, your nicknames, with different tones. (For example, i heard my name in an angry tone from my father when he was scolding me, I heard my name followed by a laughter when my S/O teased me.)
OK, for me, I started feeling intense, groundshaking symptoms at this moment. Sudden flashing of lights, extreme feeling of floating, and ofcourse, feeling tingliness so much that it felt like pins and needle on my entire body. (I did ignore the symptoms)
b) plan the rest of your day in your DR, which you will be spending.
AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T SAY IT LIKE THIS.
❌️When I reach my DR ❌️ I will have to go to that eye specialist for that appointment.
Instead: (and the more you personalize it, the better)
Ughhh, I have to go to that appointment- this day will suck.
(Don't mind my example, that was the only thing I could think of at the moment)
c) in this reality, you are constantly thinking of something, your thoughts are definitely what constructs this reality, and your current thoughts are affecting your subconscious. (By this point, your subconscious is grounded in your DR, so don't worry about that bastard.)
Now, you're going to start thinking, thoughts which are going on in your DR self's mind, start with one sentence, with which you'll be able to start consciously thinking like your DR self.
And think in the style, tone, and mood of your DR self, and keep the thoughts strictly related to your DR.
Thats it, but what happens afterwards? And what happened to me?
So for me, I started feeling weird while I was thinking.
And I remember I thought this:
"Ugh, I don't want eggs for breakfast."
(I'm not saying this is the key to shifting, at this point, I had covered various topics, including, weather, my upcoming work assignment, and praised my S/O for a good 5 minutes.)
And I started panting, like suddenly I was trying to catch my breath, the room felt bright, so I opened my eyes, and well, I was in my home reality :)
I was delirious for a few second, my S/O was looking at me worriedly, but surprisingly, it didn't even take me a minute to adjust, it felt all so natural and I wasn't scared.
I didn't even feel emotional, at all, and didn't hug my S/O with tears in my eyes, I straight up asked to be served breakfast, incase anyone was wondering.
So that's it.
Although i have much to say, I'm tired of writing, but I'm more than willing to answer each and every one of your questions, although I only have 7 hours left till I permashift, I'll remain mostly active till then.
And no, I'm not rereading this to fix my grammar, so just ask if anything confused you.
Ask away.
I'm still not sure if this'll reach anyone or not.
#shifting community#reality shifting#shifting motivation#shifting blog#shifting antis dni#shifting#shiftblr#shifters#permashifting#respawning#shifting methods#shifting stories#shifting success
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before the bell rings (a loving family, an unpalatable desire spin-off)
ft. romatic yandere bruce wayne x gn reader x platonic yandere batfam.
tw: slight nsfw. bruce watches and kisses you while you sleep. in no way, shape or form do i condone this behavior irl.
ihave a raging headache but i don't care because i love making spin-offs of my original series'. and now i've been thinking of something related to a loving family, an unpalatable desire where just like again &. again being the opposite of like him, in this current universe i'm writing about;
you're much too loved by your husband, bruce wayne.
there are eyes everywhere when you two have been into the first stages of your marriage. he may have proposed to you for the sake and promises of protection both your families agreed upon from when martha and thomas and alive— your relationship must've been purely transactional during your childhood; but in the process of knowing you better during the planning for your wedding, in the process of grief and accepting his parents' deaths, a broken childhood and cold glances—
bruce came to love the comfort and warmth you offered him.
the entire time he was convinced that your marriage will be all but a distant relationship all throughout planning for possible venues, cake designs, guests and attires; a task he chose to uphold for the sake of your preference of a picture perfect wedding and his reputation to keep in public.
it was all that, mere promises to maintain cordiality.
there would be no affectionate touches, or the need for intimacy during both your honeymoon stages. he respects your boundaries, and you do with his privacy. after the entire wedding, everything will return to normal; with the added fact that you'd simply be living in his mansion with no qualms to bother him whatsoever.
those were unsaid agreements that you yourself knew to abide by. you were never close with the man you'd be married with during childhood, after all. for him, you must've been a checklist for him to fulfill his parents' will; there was no love before or after his grief, not even when you'd attend the funeral and expressed your apologies for the loss— his eyebrows furrowing at your shorter form, but never quite looking at you.
younger you knew it was the protection that will be granted, and never the love you wanted, but you still held on to that flicker of hope that somehow, someday you'll eventually form an amicable bond with your soon-to-be husband.
yet to you, he was the only ticket way out of your abusive home life, one filled with not only coldness, but sharp glares from a mother who never wanted you and painful beatings from a father who criticizes his own child's every mistake, each hit more painful than the last.
as much as you desire something more homely from your soon to be husband, you've long since accepted that your life will never be filled with visceral love that eats you up, love whose hands tangle upon your hair not out of sheer hatred but desire, love whose strong arms raise you up in the air rather than raises itself up to hit you.
and as you both prepare for your wedding, an air of awkwardness and discomfort was expected. backs turned, never facing each other, your eyes never quite looking at his, and unwanted brushes of each other's bodies bumping into each other translates itself to tension and mere desire to get over the plans just as quickly.
bruce tells himself, it will all be over soon. this is necessary to keep up facades and earn more connections. he hasn't been as close with childhood friends after his parents' death, hence why he was too ruffled to properly communicate with his partner after years of isolation from peers. he knows you know to understand that fact.
you tell yourself that as much as your heart aches at the impending doom that you wouldn't be able to spend time with your husband as much after the entire fiasco of dealing with wedding arrangements, with wayne enterprises and hundreds of other duties to fulfill— you've nothing to do but embrace that mere fact.
so it was all that.
bruce will never love you as much as you force yourself to love each and every flawed part of him. the first steps of planning your marriage already reflected what would soon be the damning years of a loveless courtship.
love is painful, loving bruce will be painful. your heart will never flutter at the meaningless bouquet of flowers he'd gift you, or jewelry that was never your preference, all because you both knew it was a necessary farce to make things prettier on the outside. bruce can never learn to love again after the heartbreak of losing two of his loved ones.
all that.
yet the longer you two spend time in the same room in stuffy outfit fittings and bakeries whose warmth both your loves you thought would never quite reach— the more bruce notices the slight quirk of your lips every time he guessed your favorite color or design, the gleam in your eyes glowing brighter at him choosing what he thought would be the perfect confectionaries for reception, and the tiny claps and soft tugs at the cuffs of his sleeve the more he chooses to accommodate each and every preference of yours.
he starts to fall, not out of hindsight. he was never an obvious man, no.
but he fell in love, either way.
with your habits, the way your hands gesture your excitement, and the shy grin you show his way whenever he pursues physical affection to you in both private and public; with you melting into his once stiff chest and ridged shoulders, hands wrapped around your waist, head slowly nuzzling into the crown of your hair. sometimes he'd be brave enough to caress your hips and run his fingers through the flesh between your neck and shoulders.
every damn time he takes a newer risk, every time, you'd be left shocked, yet never pushing away at his ministration.
a surprise that rewires your perception of him in your mind— not less pleasant nonetheless.
he falls in love whenever his heart beats faster— a feeling he thought he'd never come across after years of hardened training— at the way you buzz every time he proposes you two go out on dates, at your unheard gasps whenever he actually gives you bouquets of your favorite flowers as gifts, at your incoherent mumbles as you two walk through the farmer's market with his body shielding you from stalking paparazzi's and countless of admires; your mouth forming words, brows furrowed, oblivious at bruce's unwavering gaze and arms ready to rest upon your shoulders as if he never once hesitated to touch you.
and he soon realizes that he begins to yearn sleeping in the same room as you. you still stay at your home at the time being, only to be housed at his right after your marriage— but bruce loses sleep all the same. at thoughts of what you would feel like all pressed up against him, the warmth that emanates off your body every time your arms would explore his chest, and how he'd wake up to your wide, intoxicating smile, calling him, bruce wayne, your husband as you caress him and tell him breakfast is ready.
he could picture you sitting beside him, your arms unknowingly on his thighs because you crave physical affection, your attention on both your children, chattering with them as if you were always their parent. he sees you scolding damian for sneaking food under the table for his, telling jason and tim off for arguing yet again, whilst dick laughs at his brother's clumsy way of eating with barbara rebuking his statements. you'll always be the first person cass would talk to about her ballet recitals, the one duke chides for advice about which club to choose, and steph's first choice every time she stumbles upon drama.
the entire atmosphere would be spontaneous. there could be small fights, little debates and sometimes even tension, yet they listen to you nevertheless. at your pretty voice giving them an earful altogether whilst bruce would worship you with his hungry eyes, forgetting the breakfast on his plate just to hold himself back from the urge to pepper kisses on you in front of the family.
the perfect dream, like a gomez to his morticia who admires every side of them. their beauty, their sadness, anger and flaws. you complete him, he only realizes at such a late time.
just as quick as he imagines those fantasies, bruce would find himself stalking through the confines of your family home as batman; confirming to himself your breathing patterns, the flutter of your eyes, soft mumbles, and your tight hold on one of your pillows, wishing it was him instead. there, he takes in the state of your room: the decor, your wallpapers, each and every trinkets and hobbies you've collected all over the years; and most importantly, just how small and confined your room is, yet cozy at the same time.
the manor would be your castle soon enough, and he promises that it would feel as homely as your previous room. he promises that you wouldn't be sleeping alone eventually. you'll be so loved... so cared for. he'll learn to properly love you, how to touch you in all the ways he could imagine, to kiss parts left neglected, to satiate the hunger watching you every damn time.
every night, he gains newer information about you as you sleep oblivious to the presence looming above you. every night, he notes the texture of your bedsheet, the blankets that hug at your body tightly, the pillows you drool on and the softness of your mattress.
he'd ruffle your hair, and begin to trudge closer and closer to you, to the point his confidence would be at an all time high and he'd be breathing the same pattern as you, body nearly pressed atop yours as his hands tangle itself upon your messy hair. bruce watches your skin bathe in the moonlight's glow, he admires the slow rise and fall of your chest and the delicious peaks of skin from the fabric that threatens to fall.
his desire only grows stronger, his willpower grows weaker all the same.
and at a time of momentary weakness, at the passion that drips off his body merely watching you, at the unsated hunger and moments of restricting himself from touching you too much during your times together— he kisses you while still sleeping, deeply and unregretful at his choice. devouring your lips, wishing he could instead feel his tongue pressing against yours, and licking at the drool that escapes from his relentless kisses. his hands would be on either side of your head, but his thighs pin your waist, heavy and unrelenting on moving from its position.
when he lets go, he laps at his lips for any remaining taste of you, hardwiring the memory into the deepest, most sinful parts of his brain, and admires your beauty from up close. bruce watches just how angelic you look sprawled atop a bed that soon would be big enough to fit two, he sees the smile slowly forming on your face, and the giggles that erupt all while you still remain asleep.
you must've been dreaming something pleasant. he hopes that it is him, he hopes that it would be him lavishing you in his love.
and he'll be coming back home right after pecking your lips and cheeks one last time, before leaving your room, to sleep in his bed all alone after a night of a passionate endeavor. he'll be dreaming of a night with you, every night with you in fact. of your pleasured closed-eyed smile in bed and arms that reach to wrap around his body like you do your pillows. he'll cover you like a blanket with his warmth, too.
and you'll always be in his mind, even as he wakes up every morning after another day of sleepless patrol, without you by his side, without your body pressed tightly against his, without the feeling of your plush skin on his scarred one, or the melody of your snores and flutter of your eyes at the light that hits it; bruce would never be satisfied.
in fact, he begins to crave for more as he touches his lips, remembers how easily pinned you are, how fitting your body is wrapped around his. he realizes that mere fantasies would only serve as distractions, he realizes that he needs the real thing.
soon, he'll invite you to the manor, all in his own accord, without hesitation or implications that it was all for mere planning.
there you would be, shy and modestly greeting his children. bruce notices the way your finger shivers, and the barely concealed smile that makes it way to your face when you finally meet your soon-to-be family, your soon-to-be children.
unaware, oblivious to the night he took your first-kiss. he knows it is your first kiss, you've written it in a journal of yours that you're saving it for whoever is your future husband— it's only right that he prides himself in the fact that he is your fiance.
he notices how well you fit in the manor, how you're such a perfect match to the neverending energy of adrenaline to fight and to patrol, acting as a mediator, a peacemaker to the hustle and bustle of spontaneous fights and arguments that alfred used to deal with alone. and his children—?
god, his children love you.
after first impressions, after you spend time coddling beside your fiance, talking to each and every one of them with a fond smile; acting as if they're all already your children without any second thoughts, never forcing yourself into their lives or invading private topics or inside jokes like the other suitors interested in bruce who visited; after you leave the manor despite their insistence that you stay—
all of them took it in their hands to help you both prepare for the wedding arrangements; damian made a comment to push for the wedding date to be way earlier. dick says he'd be in charge of the music, steph butts in saying she knows how to play the piano, cass opens up about performing a ballet piece during the wedding, duke suggests alfred should be handling the food, barbara says she has connections with entertainment factions, tim states matterof fact that he will be organizing the entire schedule, even jason insists on attending, just simply disguised amongst the background.
it would've been a marriage where it's only your side of the family who attend, an agreement you both settled for in the earlier stages of planning, but...
if the family loves you so much at just a first impression then...
bruce wayne loves his spouse even more.
and you, being the hopeless romantic you ever are, craving intimacy at such a young age from the lack of it, took the bait and fell into his controlling hold when you've still had the chance to back out.
after all, what is love without sacrifices?
soon enough, what once were lingering, unsure touches would be bruce holding you tightly against his chest like you two were puzzle pieces fit perfectly together. he was never the type to compliment through words, but every time you wear your favorite shade or those that matches his suit colors every time you both go out for outings, his bright blue, yet dull eyes would glimmer in the sunlight, taking in your entire form. he'll kiss you for what feels longer than half a minute, and sometimes even pin you down against the mahogany door of the office if it meant he was that pleased.
you love the attention, you bask at just how easy it is to love his children. even if their personalities contrast, even through the fights they sometimes have in front of you; none ever lash out at you for breaking it up, even the youngest, damian, who would always be the most violent amongst the siblings.
hell, he'd always be the most possessive, the most demanding of your attention for whenever you stray too close to his other siblings. always glaring, always picking up fights and insulting everyone, but never directing anything at you, even threatening to bite those who dare touch any gifts you give him.
yet you love them, either way, and you've come to love bruce, too. at the most unexpected of times, even. you love it when his touches linger a bit longer, you buzz with joy every time he'd hide your face from paparazzi and hold you tighter, never once letting a hand stray far away from your body, always having you in his arms just like how your perfect fantasies would always play in your head.
and even if you're still unaware of bruce's identity of being batman, the same hero you used to fear, you still insist on kissing bruce's scars that he always comes home with every night after patrol. you let yourself become a treasure he worships, you allow him to kiss you, defile you, and never once let you out alone anymore— your occasional manor visits before your marriage turned into countless of nights spent under a roof with people you thought you'd never be... that closely intimate with.
it is only before the wedding bell rings that bruce falls in love with you, and it would soon be after that you realize just how trapped you truly are.
reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
a/n: after this, i will return to hibernation. and if anybody asks, yes, superman wanting to smash you in this au is still canon. and yes, he will find a way to persuade you in smashing him.
taglist: @donnaaurelia, @prince-nikko, @neerathebrightstar (i hope u like this :))), @mr-celestial-writings, @glasscurrents, @sh4rk-k1d, @vellichor-and-hiraeth, @sammytheotakunerd.
#🌷... yael's works#series: loving family unpalatable desires#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere batman#yandere dc comics#yandere bruce wayne#yandere bruce wayne x reader#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere damian waybe#yandere barbara gordon#yandere cassandra cain#yandere stephanie brown#yandere duke thomas#platonic yandere#romantic yandere#yandere smut#yandere angst#soft yandere#yandere#yandere x male reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x gn reader#yandere x darling#male yandere
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Kindly take a break from scrolling to read this, it's important.
Take your time to grieve and come to terms with the election results, but once you've done that, it's time to get to work. We have two months. And a lot to do in that time. We have to prepare, to be ready.
Be careful about what you post or say online. Anything potentially incriminating should be avoided. Threatening language, even if clearly a joke, can be used against you.
Know someone who's trans? Someone who's had an abortion? Someone who's LGBTQIA+? Someone who's an immigrant? Someone who attends protests? Someone who's disabled? Someone who might in any way be at risk due to laws being put into place? No you don't.
Move away from social media platforms and browsers that require you to use your real identity or input a large amount of personal information. Now's a good time to find alternate means of communicating online. Tails, Element, Tor, Mastodon, Firefox, and Lemmy are all decent options.
Find a community. Someone you can talk to, either online or in real life, that you'll have reliable contact with. We need to try and create a network, but one that's as anonymous as possible.
Start scrubbing your trail as much as possible. Get rid of old accounts that can still be traced to you but are no longer used, delete personal data off the internet. There are websites out there that will freely remove your data from the internet, but be careful about which one you use, make sure it's safe and legitimate first.
Change any usernames that you can that contain any personal information. Names, birthdays, anything.
Plan B has a four year shelf life. Stock up, but don't take more than you you'll need. We don't want a COVID repeat where everyone buys an excessive amount of things and leaves none for everybody else.
There are doctors that will sterilize you, if that's the way you want to go.
Stop using online period trackers right now. Delete all data from it if possible first, then delete the app itself. If you must, write it down, but in a subtle manner and on something you keep at home. Don't label it, just put the dates. If you're really worried, discard older records and only keep the most recent few, and label the dates as other random events, like "go to mall" or "chicken salad for dinner this night"
Get your vaccines now.
Save money.
Archive. We have to start collecting records, media, data, books, and articles now. On racism, on fascism, on homophobia, on gender, on self-reliance, on survival, on safe travels routes, on equality, on justice, on anything that may be useful and/or censored soon. We can't let them erase it.
Collect those online resources. Bookmark them, copy files into your storage, Screenshot pages. Create a decentralized library where everyone is working to be part of a whole, storing what they can individually and sharing it between one another. Again, be careful about doing this.
Second-hand bookstores are your best friend. Books are usually very cheap in them, and they often have a decent stock. See what you can find.
When buying ANYTHING I have mentioned above, or anything else that maybe put you in danger, try to use cash to reduce your spending trail.
Check your car information online, many newer models can be remotely tracked.
Turn your phone completely off if you may be at risk due to your location and current activities. Turning off your GPS also helps.
Take note of where you are. Who are your friends? Who's a safe person? Where can you go besides your own home that you know you'll be safe? Establish these connections now.
Who around you is not safe? Who and where do you need to avoid? Do you need to move? If you cannot afford moving but need to, there are fundraisers that can help you. If even that is not an option, at least try to make sure your home is secure. Have someone who can help you. Have a fallback safe place.
And finally, I want anyone with resources to put them in the replies. Flood it with useful links, information, tips, anything. We're in this together. Do not panic. Organize.
EDIT: Please be civil in the replies.
#us politics#punk#protest#lgbtq#lgbt#lgbtqia#women rights#women's rights#online archival effort#censorship#internet censorship#internet#shtf#anonymity#safety#important#serious#presidential election#2024 presidential election#do not let them erase us#fight back#human rights#we fight
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Yandere Story Idea #17:
Yandere President! Husband x First Lady! Wife Reader:
I have never seen a yandere as a political figure, be it a mayor, minister, senator, congressman or president of an entire country.
The Yandere President met you before he rose to power, and from there he became madly infatuated with you.
The yandere president came from a very powerful family like you, so your parents and his arranged a marriage despite the modernity of the time.
He received a very comprehensive, albeit and very strict education.
Your education wasn't very different from his; you even knew each other from a young age, as your parents purposely brought you together.
The Yandere President won't take "no" from you for an answer.
A president needs to have charisma and know how to communicate with people, and the Yandere president is no exception. He KNOWS that there are people who believe in him, and whether he is corrupt or not, he will use this chance of manipulation to his advantage to have you.
The Yandere President will always make sure you're comfortable wherever you go together, or whenever you want to stay home. You will have the best medical care and attention, as well as the best food, drink, clothing, treats, accessories and, above all, protection.
And by the way, you will have a great and powerful status that others would envy.
The Yandere President is one of those powerful, paranoid, manipulative, protective and, above all, controlling yanderes.
Whether you're alone or with him, you'll ALWAYS be watched by him wherever you go, even if it's from your bedroom to the living room. The Yandere President will have bodyguards on hand to carefully protect you, him, and his family; he also has servants such as private chefs, maids, chauffeurs, butlers, security guards, etc.
ALL of those servants will tell the yandere president everything you say or do.
The yandere president has a WHOLE team of security cameras and microphones watching you from every possible angle (even if you can't see them), so he ALWAYS knows where you are, who you're with, what you say and what you do. After that, there's no way you can lie to him.
He would even limit your outings to the patio, for fear of snipers, according to him.
Needless to say, you have become the main object of his crazy obsessive love. He would do anything to have you; including killing his love rivals; overprotecting you; isolating you; censoring or controlling all information about you in the media.
The Yandere President knows he has enemies everywhere, both politicians from other parties and other nations and civilians (including rebel groups) who are willing to kidnap you, torture you, extort you, rob you, rape you and even kill you for the simple reason of being related to him.
The yandere president would barely let you see your family.
The Yandere President would love any gift you give him, just because it came from you, his greatest love.
The Yandere President would proudly show you off to everyone, and wouldn't stop reminding the citizens that you are his.
Even though you participate in politics and charity events, the yandere president considers that you should only be his due to his jealousy.
And speaking of which, the yandere president will not stand for you leaving him or talking to another man other than himself, your father or maybe a brother.
Whether in public or private, he will hold your hand, hug you or kiss you, but not to keep up appearances, but to show you the love he feels for you.
Although the yandere president knows that he must protect you from the paparazzi and the media, since he knows that if they have no mercy on him (being the president), much less will they have mercy on you.
I almost forgot: the yandere president would NOT accept a divorce.
He can't bear the idea that you, his beloved, want to leave him.
He would question you intensively to find out the reason for the divorce. Did he not take care of you? Did someone threaten you? Did he not give you enough gifts? Did he not love you or give you enough affection? Did he not give you the attention you wanted? Did someone do something to you and he did not protect you enough?
The Yandere President would talk things over with you and tell you right away that he would NOT let you go anywhere.
The yandere president will even lock you up to make you reconsider.
The Yandere President is not only someone with a lot of money; he also has the best team of private detectives, investigators, spies, hackers, guards and even police officers; so he knows EVERYTHING about you and your family, so if he can't get you to give up on the divorce, he'll have your parents pressure you or threaten to make them disappear.
The Yandere President is capable of ordering the killing of any lover you have.
He is the yandere president; he has absolute control over every part of the country, be it houses, apartments, schools and universities, public administration sites, establishments, all streets and even airports and/or borders.
Now, he would never dare to hurt you directly.
The Yandere President would be capable of making your life difficult if you divorce him. He will do everything to get you back, even sending his men to kidnap you.
He would not accept a divorce even if his election campaigns fail, just think that if he fails, you'll do it together.
The yandere president would be able to become a yandere dictator for you.
He would invite you on the most dazzling trips around the country or around the world.
-The end.
So, what do you think?
#yandere#yandere oc#cw yandere#yandere love#yandere x you#yandere male#platonic yandere#tw yandere#male yandere#yandere x reader#yandere husband#yandere x darling#obsessive yandere#yandere aesthetic#yandere community#yandere concept#yandere fanfiction#yandere imagines#yandere imagine#yandere male x reader#yandere oc x reader#yandere oneshot#yandere writing#yanderecore#yandere boyfriend#yandere president#yandere politician#yandere boy#yandere blog#yancore
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not mentally ill enough to be fun for internet users to poke at, too mentally ill to be brushed off as "quirky", but just mentally ill enough to catch myself in yet another unending spiral of shame and agony!
wooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(dont press read more unless you read those tags. im warning you.)
for the love of GOD please help? stop?
earlier someone asked how they could help i told them to give me space i don't want to explode i feel like i need the opposite of space but also if anyone comes close to me i want to golf them into the sun don't talk to me. don't perceive me please talk to me. don't leave me
i wish i could channel this into something productive (not that i think anyone would want to see that. there's better artists and better art. whats one more little fag on the internet making stories about depression and derealization and autism and burnout. i don't have anything new to add.)
today i went outside and i had trouble staying in my own head
for a while i was a father struggling to keep doing his job because 'reality' around me kept feeling weird and wrong and i remember punching a hole in the wall and i heard birdsong but the birdsong was real and i was back on earth (in my body) and the vignette around my vision was tangible. a fly landed on my arm and it made me yell. i was real suddenly- the veil was gone. i walked around and i looked at some things. i saw a weed growing in the cracks of the asphalt and i saw grass growing through a circle of rocks. at the fairy tree i found a perfectly round rock and wondered what was inside. i was back in the crystal shop- the one across the water- where the ferry took us i remember the perfect little geodes they sold i was back home i remember readying that hammer only to completely fuck up the swing and ended up pulverizing most of it. but i looked and the pieces were right there at the fairy tree. i thought about art and how i would portray things if i and i was that father again and i was struggling to explain i couldn't speak at all really even in the arms of my wife i fought myself and another voice (myself) and i told myself im not real and i told myself why do i feel like im stealing something from someone else and why do i feel like my life is over but it never started and i was in the backyard looking for my cat when the gate slammed. it slammed in the wind. im real again. the sun is still out. the neighbors just came back home- i saw their car pull in. im ashamed to keep wasting time outside, so i walk back in my house
i might have gotten the order of events wrong
does it matter
does writing it down even matter
im giving the void (at first i typed "voice") a recollection of something that doest matter
recorded here for all of time, wasting space on a server, rotting, festering.
who is this for is this for myself?
wouldnt it be easier if i just told the people in my real life what was going on,
no you know what shut the fuck up.
go get a job dumbass.
..yeah i feel like a right waste of space.
"look. walk-ins accepted. you can apply here too when you apply at [x] tomorrow" "tomorrow?" "what else do you have going on in your life?" we walked down the rest of the aisle in silence. i didn't have a reply.
"whats the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist?" "one can prescribe you drugs i think" "oh" we drove for 10 minutes in silence. i thought about my next question so carefully. i must have gone through dozens of iterations in that 5 minutes. i was the only one talking. during those 8 minutes i don't remember what the radio played. "which one of those two... tells you about if you have things in your head?" "what do you mean things in your head?" "like-" "like schizophrenia?" "yeah" "a psychiatrist i think. no? a psychologist. i forget" "yeah that's okay you don't know the answer, i probably should have researched myself, its kind of a lot of me to have expected you to have all the answers." "okay"
tomorrow i wake up. i have two options
>disappoint everyone (default option, no action required) >shut up, man up, get out of my room, become presentable, act Normal, interview at two different places, land a job, support the house, be a perfect functioning person
do i have an option
can i at least be a better person than writing a pathetic little vent longer than the colors of the sky. that no one cares about. that i wont care about in. fucking. whenever i can regulate my emotions again
wait will that even happen (someone made me go to type "(never)")
dear god. dear fucking lord. ive only been typing for. not long. it can't have been that long- less than half an hour- rollover just ended- but why the fuck did that person message me 6 times while im on DnD
aaaaaaaaaUGH i WANT TO GO. TO. BED.
WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP TRYING TO TALK TO ME
BUT THEY NEVER WANT TO TALK TO ME
7 messages
why cant we talk about nice things? i have nice things too- when i see them. in that other place. posting back and forth admiring each others stories and characters. i have that too. please. please can you talk to me
but then i swear like clockwork someone reaches out and i think no. not YOU. i want. THEM. (they don't exist) (they are a nebulous construct) what do i want. what do i fucking want. what do i care about? who do i care about?
im sorry. im so sorry. im sorry and i'll promise to respond to you. im sorry i know how it feels to be ignored i don't want to do that to you. im sorry i don't understand these things you send me. i don't understand
earlier tonight i failed once again to follow a simple request
(i keep looking up at those 7 unread messages)
i failed to follow it and i felt so. broken? useless? stupid? worthless? how can you expect someone _like me_ to get a job. to be _functional_
i dont even know if what i want to do is what i want to do anymore
all that time i spent in school. im sorry i wasted your time. im sorry im not going to amount to anything more than that. than this.
"they said they lost you in the system" "lost?? i. i submitted 3 times. under 'jay', under '[dead]', under '[last1]', under '[last1-last2]', i tried. i tried." -- "maybe they just don't want to hire me" "that's not it" "[z] got back to me that one time. do you remember?" "oh only a little-" "they said they're not hiring for night positions. even if on the website, the spot is still open. maybe if i just. replied back again and told them i'd do day anyways" "well, would you rather work at [x], or [y], or [z]?" "[y] i guess... not because i want to work in fast food but the benefits-"
the one blessing of tonight is that at least i haven't been super dysphoric. im too busy trying to claw back into my own body to be worried about whether or not it fits. i just need to be IN one
its been so hard to think of it as anything other than "the body", rather than "me". its. supposed to be "me" i think
whatever that means
my head is swimming again. i need to end this post
7 unread messages
i know i'll hit post, and i'll never see this passage again good riddance. maybe with all the bile ejected now i can actually be
something. i still dont know.
#vent. you can ignore this one#please dont read this if you feel shitty yourself. i dont want to make it worse#also#if you're from the only community i care about (you'll know who you are)#skip this. dont ruin your perception of me.#not reading this one back to check for errors bc its 100% stream of consciousness#so as a warning this is probably mostly nonsense because i feel quite ~wibbery~ right now#i'll come back and make this private later#i need. the catharsis of shouting into the void
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updated: 28.12.24
ᯓ★ smut
Delirium (✘): stranded in the middle of the alaskan wilderness with no means of communication after being exposed to a foreign drug, you're reluctant to accept help from the one person who has a shot at saving you. - avenger!reader (@flowersforbucky) (warning: sex pollen, i.e., dub-con, explicit verbal consent prior)
Special Girl (❤❅✘✧): being friends with benefits definitely has its perks, especially when the friend in question is as hot as Bucky Barnes - but when you're feeling insecure about the arrangement, Bucky makes it clear to you that you're more than just a friend. @kinanabinks) (warning: mentions of neglectful childhood)
Scary? My God, You're Divine (❤✘): your marriage to Bucky Barnes was crucial in stopping the rivalry that had been getting rather violent recently between the two families. You agreed to it. But there was one little problem. Although people knew of Bucky as being a ruthless, fiercely loyal, and feared hitman, no one had ever seen his face. In the rare occasions when he’d been seen out during assignments, it was rumoured that he always wore some sort of mask which covered most of his face. So you ended up marrying a man, and had no idea what he looked like. But surely that wouldn’t be an issue. It’s not like his one touch would get you addicted. Who cared what he looked like? It’s not like you could grow to love someone like him anyway… right? - mob!au (@sinner-as-saint)
Sting (✘): TattooArtist!Bucky praising you during a session. (@adrinktostopyourthirst)
Fling (✘): your tattoo artist left you hanging and you’re fed up enough to come and collect his excuse. (part two)
Blurred Lines (❤❅✘✧): when choosing a female agent to send back in time to gain young Sergeant Barnes's trust, everyone's in agreement that it should be Sharon. Until Bucky, the man that you barely get along with, speaks up and lets everyone know that it could only be you. (@ellemj)
Closer (✘): you’d never felt like this before, it was like some primal instinct deep down inside of you. You just needed to be close to him. The only problem was that you were already wrapped in his arms and it still didn’t feel close enough. (@tom-holland-parker)
Water Proof (✘): Bucky Barnes is pretty sure that his arm is water proof. He'd been in water with it before. Turns out his arm can handle water, but not p*ssy juice. (@vivwritesfics)
Book Boyfriend (✘): Bucky is better than any book boyfriend. You'll prove it to him. (@navybrat817)
Making Time (✘): You're busy, your husband is busy but there's always time to play. - CEO!au (@jobean12-blog)
In Your Arms I'm Born Again (❤✘): you want to find out exactly how many times is too many times for the super soldier. (@bonky-n-steeb)
new! What Are Friends For (✘): when you threaten to swear off men for good after your last bad date, your neighbour and friend offers to help change your mind. (@gogolucky13)
new! Down Bad (✘): Bucky using his metal hand as a vibrator. (@flowersforbucky)
new! I Hate You (✘)): after ending up on SHIELD's radar, you're moved into the tower against your will. Of course, you can't stand the one man that you have the most in common with. (@ellemj)
#marvel#mcu#bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky smut#james buchanan barnes#bucky#the winter solider#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes x oc#bucky x oc#marvel fic recs#mcu fic recs#bucky barnes fic recs#bucky fic recs#ailoda's recs#marvel smut#mcu smut#james bucky barnes#winter solider#james bucky barnes fic recs#james buchanan barnes fic recs#the winter soldier fic recs#winter solider fic recs#james bucky barnes smut
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Dumber and Dumber
The ad from Obeycorps already burrowed it's way into your head. "You need to become dumber, slut!" was what it said. It's hold on you was temporary, but you want to change that. The ad was obviously right, right?
You know you only have a couple of hours until it wears off and you'll regain your normal, well-adjusted worldview again. You quickly make your way to the hypnotists office.
"I want to become dumber. Like, really really dumb. So dumb that men will Take advantage of me."
"You really want that? To be taken advantage of?"
"Yes. I want to be too stupid to be independent. I want to be used and abused by men who like me solely because i am really dumb."
"Well then, if that's what you want. Look into my eyes."
You can immediately feel it. Your concentration becomes harder to hold, heavy like it's a hundred tons. You drop it, which feels better.
"Excellent. You are getting dumber and dumber. Soon, you will be the perfect plaything for every man who wants you. They will use you and discard you, and you will be too stupid to care."
You moan softly as your mind crumbles
"Yes... Amy dumb... dumb Amy..."
Then it stops. Like a cold shower, your recurring intelligence makes you shiver. The effect of the ad ceases, and a little voice inside you wants you to be smarter again. But it is too late. It just feels so good to be dumb.
"I wanna become, like, even dumber. If i am as dumb as possible, i want to be even dumber than that."
"Of course you do. You want to be the dumbest girl in the world. So dumb that you can't even remember your own name. So dumb that you can't even form coherent thoughts."
"Yes..."
There is no turning back as you permanently lose thought after thought. There is nothing in your pretty little head anymore. You don't have family or friends, memories or a personality. All those words lose their meaning, drooling out of your mouth.
"Good girl. You are becoming the perfect plaything. So stupid that you can't even remember how to speak in full sentences. So stupid that you can't even remember your own name."
"Dumb... I'm so... dumb..."
"What is your name, my little plaything?"
Dumb slut... You are a dumb, dumb slut.
"I don't... know... slut?"
"That's right."
You smile at being correct, even though you already forgot your answer.
The hypnotist reaches out to your cleavage.
"Dumber... please... dumber..."
You can still think about wanting to become dumber, which is still way, way too much.
The hypnotist says words you cannot understand. The concept of language spills out of you like the boobs out of your top. You can No longer ask to become dumber, you lack the capability to do that. It's fine, though, the hypnotist seems to know what you want.
He slaps you and squeezes your face.
You smile, not really getting what is going on. Your body seems to get touched, which is enough to send a smile to your face. You don't know what a smile means. You don't know what touch means. You don't know what anything means.
You simply don't know. You drool.
He shoves his cock in your mouth. After a few thrusts, he pulls it out completely again, holding it in front of your face.
Your mouth tries to communicate to him about those jumbled sensations squirming about, somewhere behind your crossed eyes.
"mmmmm"
Truly the most eloquent piece of dialogue you could muster up. A masterwork of literacy. You are so proud for a second, before you completely lose grasp of what little ego you had left.
"You're still way to smart, i guess. Sorry about that. Become dumber, bitch."
That was it. All thoughts gone. You are an object. No internal voice anymore. You don't exist. He fucks your mouth.
#hypnosis#mind control#fsub#brainwashing#degrade kink#hypnotized#dumb wh0re#mdom#dumbification#covert hypnosis#drool kink
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there's this video you've probably seen already where a woman is shaking in front of a microphone and delicately tries to ask - how can i make my husband listen to me, i've tried everything, i don't want to seem ungrateful and the other man laughs - the problem is that you married a man, we're only listening 25% of the time and we only understand 5% of that! and the audience laughs and the woman laughs and you just sat there, phone in your hand, letting the sound of it echo
and the thing is that people make think-pieces about it (isn't this one of them) and satire versions and "flipping the script" which is good and fun but at the end of the day, there's some truth in that man's response about men-not-listening. and you have tried to language that feeling for years, this sense that you can only take up 33% of a conversation before others view it as being "dominating".
it's not that they aren't listening, it's that the action they're taking is purposefully silencing. it's different. you accidentally-don't-listen a lot; just because the world is loud and you're distracted. you don't mean anything by it. and the truth is that the man who spoke is relying on that to be true of you; the way it's true of everyone. but there is a different undertone to his kind of not-listening. what he means is they don't respect you and you shouldn't expect them to. there is a difference between oh shit i forgot to take the trash out and why didn't you remind me to do it, just like there is a difference between i didn't realize you wanted to go out this weekend and why do you expect me to plan things why can't you just tell me where we're going.
and the thing is that it isn't just him, and it's actually not just because of your gender - your skin, your class status, your weight, their ableism - it happens often. so often it feels like a tightness around your throat and a weight in your stomach. you're not even "really" allowed to be upset about it, because to them it's a joke. and they laugh. and you know exactly the amount of work that goes into every conversation. how you have to work to condense down your thoughts into intelligent, crisp soundbites; worried someone will try to swoop in and cut you off. and there's this sense from everyone else - oh stop being so sensitive, are you really upset just because they weren't listening and you don't know how to say the way that feels when it happens constantly.
there's that video of the science summit where a woman in the audience finally says let her speak please! and the whole crowd bursts into applause and the man leading the summit holds up his hands and bows his head and says oops, sorry! like what he did was awkward and embarrassing, a little social gaffe that happens easily. later in your meetings, you're asked to take notes, and you don't say anything, you just hear let her speak please! ringing in your head and know that you'll never be brave enough for that kind of thing. and besides. think of all the people who agree this was a one-off, he just got excited and all of the people who say one man is not indicative of all of society
at the dinner table you're talking about someone you don't like and how he's not good to his girlfriend and how she always has to remind him to put the effort in and before him, she was glowing with curiosity and passion but now she just seems... tired, unhappy. that he likes the way she burns out; she stays home and takes care of him and their 2 kids. and your father sniffs and says that men take a while to learn those kinds of things. and you just stare at him and think about your childhood and are like - no wonder i turned out like this
and you want to say - there's no fucking secret school or mystic form of communication. i was not sent to Rearing a Child University. i did not graduate from Getting Chores Done College. i ask questions and i listen and i pay attention, because that's basic fucking human decency. it stems from respect, and how i respect others and their agency. i clean the house because someone should clean. not because it comes "naturally".
hell, you had to google "how to boil an egg" the other day, just because you usually make them scrambled. you can never remember which of the 2 bathroom cleaners make chlorine gas, only that two of them definitely do. you've accidentally bleached your clothes. it took you like 3 years of self-teaching before you figured out how to actually cook things correctly - for that whole time, you burnt or undercooked everything. but you did teach yourself; just like you taught yourself how to listen with empathy. just like how you taught yourself to think before you speak. to be kind first, to be better at communicating. it seemed like a good thing, an adult thing.
the joke the man in the video makes is that women say i'm fine! when they are not fine. and you think about the 150 conversations that happened around that; about how she probably has had so many arguments with her husband. how she said i'm upset you don't take me anywhere and he got mad at her because of course i do, you made me go to that stupid restaurant like last week and she probably said that's not what i'm saying and he said now i'm supposed to be psychic or something and she said no of course not and he said how am i supposed to know what to do when you don't even like everything and she said i do like things and he said well how am i supposed to win? and her pastor probably told her to be more grateful because they do things at all, even if she has to plan them and her mom probably told her that's just how men are honey and she probably cried over her journal, trying to figure out why the fuck she "has everything" and is still so bitterly, horribly unhappy
and how, in your life, for so many reasons, you looked down the barrel of another argument; of explaining yourself and being vulnerable and begging for help again. how many times you just said i'm fine because it was better than doing that again; it was better than wringing yourself out when it's literally easier to just pretend. because he wasn't going to listen. your father wasn't going to be better and your boyfriend wasn't going to be better and your boss wasn't going to be more respectful.
and you sit in front of a video of a woman shaking, looking horrible and guilt-wrought that she's even asking this question. and you know; deep in your heart - that's you. in a different life, you are her. you've stood in her spot. and you had to listen while someone else cackled - why would we bother to notice when you talk?
#writeblr#warm up#this is something im legit still unpacking the effects of#btw this is one of those intersectional feminist blogs#gender plays a role but let's be honest - this silencing comes from disrespect which can come from MANY things#white women will do it to women of color#it exists in many forms and permutations#but fuck that video made my blood run COLD#you know it's bad out there when my HORRIFICALLY right-wing trad cath father even admitted ''it's bad out right now''
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Your small town has been invaded by a biker club. They want a peaceful takeover but they can twist your arm if needed.
Holy shnikes, I spent so much time working on this! I almost had to make it a two part story! I've barely been able to work on anything else because I needed to get this story written up instead. I honestly think I've never written anything like this before.
Word Count: ~3.6k
Warnings: Choking, Dub/non consent, Implied violence, Knife play (mild). Please let me know if I missed any!
Next Part
Sheriff Lee Bodecker and Mayor John Walker caved to the bikers pretty quickly. Part of you could understand why; only a handful of officers in the entire county compared to a full biker gang? They'd never stand a chance. Better to be allowed to live without having to worry about ending up in the hospital. The Mayor didn't care so long as he got to keep his job, which now meant making the bikers happy.
Which meant paying the bikers with money from the city budget. Your library's budget in particular.
When you'd tried to argue about it, Mayor Walker hit back with "well we can't take any more from the school! Besides, no one needs the library anymore. They've all got their home computers and Internet. You'll be fine with the new budget."
In the end you'd had to let go all but one very part-time employee, relying on two or three volunteers instead. You were already working long hours but now they felt endless. With the budget cut, you had to reduce the purchases of new books in favor of maintaining the Internet connection several of older patrons relied on. Almost half of your day was spent working on applying for grants for additional funding for after-school programs and free-lunch programs for during the summer breaks.
Looking over everything, you were certain you'd have to dip into your own meager savings if you were going to meet the needs of your community. Mayor Walker really didn't seem to understand what the people of his city actually needed, but he didn't seem to care so long as he was in charge.
During an after-school reading time with the Kindergartners you're surprised by the entrance of one of the bikers. You think he's the second-in-command, but you're not sure. He's definitely not the blond in charge; "Cap" you think they call their leader. Still, you have kids to take care of, and this newcomer is a grown man. He can take care of himself.
When the story is done it's time for a nap for the kids. This is very likely the longest they've ever been away from home, away from family, and the sleep helps keep them from getting overstimulated. It was another thing Mayor Walker just didn't understand. All of these kids had parents that worked full time and couldn't afford a babysitter. There were no daycare options, either. Decades ago the kids could be left with a grandparent or a cousin, but they're all working as well or moved out of town. That left the library as a haven for the kids who didn't have access to the limited after-school activities as an option.
If there's anything good about working in such a tiny library it's that you can keep an eye on the kids and the biker while going about your other duties. Thankfully you'd gotten some WD-40 for the book carts so they wouldn't squeak and wake anyone up while you re-shelve books.
You also get a better look at the biker. He's sitting in one of the chairs reading The Hobbit. You hate to admit it but he does look handsome. Longish dark hair, steely blue eyes. For some reason he's still wearing his gloves. If only his arrival hadn't heralded such troubles for you. Well, at least he wasn't causing trouble.
Shelving the books gets you a bit of stretching and some impromptu squat exercises. You spend so much of your time at a desk that this is the closest thing you get to a workout. Given how your body continually snaps, crackles and pops, you could probably use more.
Your exercise is cut short by Ruth's entry and you have to fight the urge to let out a groan. Ruth is one of the older ladies in town who refused to get a computer for her home. Unfortunately that means each time she visits, you have to walk her through even the most basic elements of using a computer so she can send an email to her granddaughter. The entire time she complains to you about how much she hates computers and how much she wishes her daughter would've raised her own daughter correctly and been happy to just accept a phone call, and on, and on, and on.
"Hello Ruth," you quietly say, customer service smile on. "Let me go ahead and log you in to one of our computers?"
"I'm not an invalid!" she loudly complains. You try to quiet her, pointing to the sleeping children but she isn't having it. "All you youngsters thinking an old lady can't do anything for herself! How dare you imply I can't log on to a computer? I'll do it my own self."
You take a breath to steady yourself before looking over at the little ones. They seem largely undisturbed but, knowing Ruth, they'll be awake sooner rather than later. Sighing you go ahead and get their after nap snacks ready. Just another hour or so until their parents start coming by to pick them up. It doesn't take long before Ruth is yelling at the computer, complaining to you that "it's clearly broken" and "why can't we just write letters" along with her forever complaint of "wouldn't have to do this if she'd just pick up the damn phone!"
The kids start waking up and you quickly have to balance keeping them from being upset by the angry lady while also knowing any attempts to placate the angry lady will be met with more anger. Thankfully the snacks are a good distraction for most.
"Would you like some help on a different computer, Ruth?" you ask through gritted teeth, knowing the answer.
"Oh stop treating me like one of those brats," she snaps back. "What kind of library is this where computers are more important than books? Shouldn't even have these monstrosities here!"
"Excuse me, Ruth, is it? I'm Bucky." You'd been so distracted going between Ruth and the kids you didn't notice the biker had put down his book and walked over.
"Oh don't get me started on you and yours!" Ruth retorts. "Town was so much better before you hooligans came along! Now I can't even call the police to help me out when then those teenagers are loitering in my yard!"
"Well Ruth, let me give you my number so the next time you can call me instead of the police," he offers. You're surprised at how calm he's sounding despite being yelled at.
Ruth huffs, "you no-good-beatniks! How dare you insult me! You should get out of our town and leave us good folk alone!"
The biker, Bucky, smiles, "seems to me 'good folk' don't go harassing people who are just trying to do their job." You have to bite back a laugh at that comment. It's no good riling her up even more.
Ruth storms out, letting you focus on the kids who are looking unsure if they should be upset or not. You give the biker a quick "thank you" before giving the little ones all of your attention. He nods and goes back to his reading.
Soon enough the parents start coming in and picking up their kids. Several of them stick around long enough to check out a book or movie and you have to balance taking care of the remaining children with getting the families out on their way. It's always such an ado that makes you really wish you could hire some extra help. A few parents complain about the snacks you gave their kids and you remind them, yet again, that they are free to donate snacks they consider appropriate. All the while you keep your customer service smile up, despite how much you're internally screaming and crying.
Things finally calm down and you're able to sit and take a breather. You desperately want to quit but this community needs a library, even if the Mayor doesn't think so. And goodness knows they'd never be able to hire anyone else to work these conditions. You look over to where the biker is sitting, still reading. If his gang hadn't shown up, you'd be in a much better position. Maybe even able to take a vacation.
Checking the time you decide to keep your professionalism and head over to the man. "Sir, excuse me?" He looks up at you, bright blue eyes momentarily startled. "Sir, we're going to be closing in about a half hour."
"Oh, yeah, sure thing," he nods as he closes the book. "Also, please call me Bucky."
"Sure thing, Bucky," you nod, too tired to argue.
"Gotta say, you do a lot of work for a librarian."
"What do you mean by that?" You don't hold back the bite in your tone and cross your arms.
He chuckles, "I didn't mean to offend. Just, I thought librarians were just supposed to check out the books, y'know? Maybe answer questions? Didn't expect you to also be a daycare, IT person and all that."
"And that's just the work that you saw," you snap at him.
"Don't you have anyone helping you out?"
"I did, before your gang came along!" You're unable to hold back any longer. "Because of you the Mayor cut my budget! I had to fire pretty much all my staff! I can't get the half the books the people of this community want! I have to beg the state government for funds to make sure kids have food when they don't school meals! Do you know how much cleaning I have to do because there's no room in the budget for professionals?! Do you have any idea how many of the things around here I have to pay for out of my own pocket?! You bikers demanded protection money and it came out of my budget!"
Bucky's gloved hand grabs neck, stopping you from talking. You try to fight but his arm is stronger than expected. Surprisingly he doesn't look angry so much as amused. "You know, I never thought I could go for the librarian type but this fire of yours does something to me." Your nostrils flare and he chuckles. "I've been yelled at twice today, Doll. A man can only take so much."
"I'm sorry," you grumble as best you can.
His hand loosens, "what was that, Doll?"
"I'm sorry," you repeat. "While you are the reason my budget was cut, you're not the one who made the decision. I'm sorry I took my anger and frustration out on you."
"That's more like it," he snickers. He pulls you uncomfortably close to himself. "And I'm more than happy to reward that better behavior." You look at him, confusion written all over your face, as the leather of his glove caresses your cheek. "Like I said, I never thought a librarian would rouse my interest, but you're something else." You roll your eyes and try to pull away, but he isn't having it. His grip tightens around your throat again, even as his smile widens, baring his teeth. "I can be very good to you, Doll, so long as you're good for me."
His implication is clear and you really don't have any options.
"I need to close the library," you grumble.
Bucky removes his hand from around your throat, "good idea. Don't want to get caught now, do we?"
Your body is shaking as you go about the routine for closing the library. Your brain is working overtime to try to figure out some kind of way out of this. Running isn't an option. Even if you made it to your car, where could you go? Calling for help definitely wouldn't do anything. You seriously doubt he would hesitate to make an example of you if you ran.
With the last of the doors locked and the blinds closed you return the biker and almost whimper, "my office?"
"Oh Doll," he cups your chin. "You don't need to be scared of me. I'll be good to you."
"Do...do you...do you have a condom?"
He chuckles, "don't worry, we're not going that far tonight. But I love that you're ready for it."
Without warning he grabs you and pulls you in for a suffocating, forceful kiss. His tongue quickly pushing its way past your lips. Mentally reminding yourself to do what he wants, you open your mouth to give him access and he moans. One of his hands moves down to your breast and you have to will yourself to not flinch away from the touch.
"Take off the cardigan. And the top," he orders.
You back up just a bit so you can oblige. "The bra as well?"
"Nah, that'll be for me to remove." His voice sounds rougher than before and his eyes are definitely darker. He seems amused by the fact that you maintain eye contact while removing your clothes. "You're so pretty when you're defiant," he teases. "But I'm sure I'll have you pleading for more in no time."
Willing your eyes not to roll you instead snipe back, "don't make promises you can't keep. Wouldn't be the first disappointment I've had."
He has the nerve to laugh at that. "I'll make a believer out of you, Doll."
Walking to your office, he sits in your chair, gesturing for you to get on his lap. "Make me think you want this," he commands.
Taking a deep breath, eyes never leaving his, you move to straddle him. He's surprised when you grab the back of his head and turn his face up before shoving your tongue down his throat. He moans in appreciation and his arms wrap around you as he returns your fervor. You bite his lower lip and start grinding against his crotch.
He removes his right glove before undoing your bra faster than you expected. You pull apart from him just long enough to remove the bra and he takes the opportunity to latch himself to your breast. His ungloved hand moves to fondle your other breast while his surprisingly strong left arm holds you up. His ministrations have you gasping as your body instinctively continues to grind against him. His slow, languid movements are in direct contrast to the speed your hips have set and the difference is affecting you.
Suddenly you're on your back on the desk. Bucky had managed to move his left hand to prevent your head from banging on the desk. Your eyes widened from more than just surprise at the realization of how fast and strong he was.
"Sorry, Doll, you were getting me too worked up already," he smirks at you. He moves his hands so they're on each side of your head, hovering over you. "It really is the quiet ones, huh?" You can't help roll your eyes and he chuckles. "Let's see how loud you can get."
He quickly unbuttons your pants and pulls them off of you before getting out a knife. Your breath hitches and he chuckles as he takes the blade to your panties, cutting them off of you. He puts the panties to his nose, "you smell so good. How long's it been, Doll? Months? Can't imagine you get a lotta action in this town."
"It's been a while," you confess, heat burning your cheeks at how turned on you are. You can't bring yourself to look at him.
He stuffs your panties into his pocket and taps your thighs with the knife so you spread them open. "You look so pretty like this," he snickers, clearly amused by your discomfort.
He slams the knife into the desk by your head, making you yelp in surprise. Using his left arm to hover over you, he whispers into your ear, "such a pretty scream," as his fingers start playing with your pussy. He groans at how wet you are, "fuck, Doll, I should'a known you'd be into the rough play."
You squeal as he mercilessly jams two of his fingers into you, all the way to the knuckle. As you involuntarily arch your back he alternates licking, sucking and nibbling your nipples. He adds a third finger and mercilessly drives his hand in and out of your soaked pussy. He pushes himself up and uses his now free arm to start choking you. You try to push his arm away, but it's impossibly strong. You're shocked to feel your orgasm building as your gasping for air.
He must sense it too because he grins and starts ordering you to "give me what I want, Doll. Cum around my fingers. I can feel how close you are." He gives your nipple a sharp bite that pushes you over the edge and cum with a hoarse scream, his fingers never slowing down, his grip never letting up.
It's only after you've stopped cumming that he eases up. "That was fucking gorgeous," he taunts before pulling his fingers out of you and licking them. He closes his eyes and moans at your flavor, making you burn with embarrassment. You start to get up but his left hand keeps you pressed to the desk. "I'm not done, Doll."
"I'm sorry," you murmur. "I shouldn't have assumed."
"God you're a good, smart girl. Keep those legs spread for me." You do as he says while trying to look anywhere but him. He pulls the knife out of your desk and flips it so that the hilt is pointed towards you. "Look at me, Doll. I want you to watch." You struggle to look and he rubs the hilt of the knife against your oversensitive clit, making you jump. "I said, look. At. Me. Doll." You're quick to follow his orders this time.
He puts the knife away before undoing his belt and pants. As much as you could feel when you were grinding against him, as much as you could see the his bulge, you weren't expecting his cock to be so big. Your eyes widen and he chuckles, "like I said, we're not going that far tonight. Now be good and don't move unless I tell you."
Grabbing your legs he pulls you so your ass is a little off the desk and runs his cock over your pussy, gathering up your slick and rubbing over your clit, making you whimper. He starts groaning in pleasure, "god you're so wet from just one orgasm. Can't wait to see how soaked you get after a full night with me." He positions your thighs so that you're squeezing his cock between them and he gives a few thrusts, spreading your own juices all your thighs.
"Gonna mark you up with my cum," he growls as he picks up his pace, squeezing your thighs even tighter. His hands are hurting you but his cock keeps rubbing against your clit and it's feeling so damn good you don't register his words. You moan and whine as you barrel towards your next orgasm. "That's it, Doll. You make the prettiest faces. Can't wait to see you covered in my cum. Gonna look so damn pretty with my seed all over you."
He squeezes your thighs impossibly tight and you cum so hard from the pain and pleasure combination you don't notice him ejaculating all over your stomach and chest.
When he finally catches his breath he reaches into his jacket and pulls out his phone to take a photo. You try to protest but he gives you a warning look. You drop your face, trying to not cry from how dirty you feel. He puts the phone away and lifts your chin, "don't worry, Doll. That photo is just for me." He kisses the top of your head and you try not to wince. "And because you were so good to me, made me feel so good, I'll be good to you. Now get your clothes back on and I'll escort you home."
"Can I clean up?"
"Not until you get home," he growls. "You don't get rid of my marks until I give you permission."
"Yes, Bucky," you sniffle.
"Aw, don't be like that, Doll," he gently chides. "I take care of what's mine."
The next morning you wake up from a nightmare riddled sleep, feeling more tired than ever. After your morning routine you step outside to head to the library but stop short when you see Bucky on his motorcycle, waiting for you. Wordlessly he hands you a helmet and you don't even try to question or talk him out of whatever he has planned, you just put the helmet on and get on the bike behind him, holding him incredibly tight so you don't fall off.
He stops in front of City Hall and helps you off the bike before walking you in. He doesn't stop until he's led you to the Mayor's office. Your shocked to see Cap, the leader of the biker gang, sitting next to Mayor Walker, whose nose has recently been broken. You gasp and try to turn away but Bucky grabs you and keeps you facing the Mayor.
Cap pats Walker's shoulder, "now what did I tell you?"
Walker shudders a little before looking at you and shakily saying, "I'm so sorry for cutting your budget so much. I will amend that today, making sure to take the money out of my own salary."
Your shaking, unable to respond. Bucky whispers into your ear, "what do you say, Doll?"
"Th-thank you, Mayor Walker," you stutter. "I...I really appreciate that you've ch-changed your mind."
"That's my girl," Bucky whispers before guiding you out of the office.
Next Part
Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly
#biker!bucky barnes x librarian!reader#dark!bucky barnes#biker!bucky barnes x female!reader#bucky barnes x female!reader#bucky barnes x librarian!reader#dark!bucky barnes x librarian!reader#dark!bucky barnes x female reader
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Perks of The Job - Max Verstappen x Assistant!Reader
[max verstappen masterlist / f1 masterlist]
ʚɞ in which... max's assistant drunk texts him. ʚɞ fluff ⋆⭒˚.⋆ 1300 words ʚɞ warnings: kissing
-୨♡୧-
"First task...!" Max begins, but you quickly pick up the phone, assuming your role as his assistant. "Hello, Max Verstappen’s Assistant speaking—oh, what did you say your name was again?" you inquire, trying to catch the caller's name as Max urgently tries to signal you with frantic gestures.
"Charlotte Pendlebury," comes the response from the other end of the line.
Max's reaction intensifies, his gestures becoming more urgent as he tries to silently communicate something to you.
"I... Um, no, he’s not here at the moment. Can I take a message?" you respond, attempting to keep the conversation professional despite Max's silent panic.
Finally, as you finish jotting down the message on a nearby post-it note, Max settles into the chair opposite you with a relieved sigh.
“So… You ghosted her after you... um, had relations with her,” you remark, trying to make light of the situation.
"Okay, new clause in your contract: don't judge me," Max quips with a playful grin. "Just make sure she doesn’t find me."
-
Months pass, and on one alcohol-fueled evening, you find yourself drunkenly texting your ex—or at least, who you thought was your ex…
When your boss unexpectedly shows up, in your inebriated state, you can barely distinguish between him and your ex. Following him clumsily through the bar and outside to his car, you boldly suggest a rather inappropriate proposition to do while he drove, only to be met with a surprised yet amused refusal.
As you stumble into Max's apartment, your mind still foggy from the alcohol, you're taken aback by the cleanliness of the space. "You moved?" you blurt out, surprised by the tidiness of the bachelor pad.
Max turns to you, a bemused expression on his face. "Y/N, look at me and tell me my name," he says, his tone gentle but firm.
Your thoughts muddled, you start to respond automatically. "Ma– Oh! Max- Mr. Verstappen- I- Am so sorry," you stutter, finally realizing your mistake.
Max chuckles softly, his amusement evident as he guides you further into the apartment.
Feeling a mix of embarrassment and gratitude, you mumble your thanks as you sink into the cushions. Max disappears briefly, returning with a glass of water and a concerned look.
"Here, drink this. You'll feel better in no time," he says, handing you the glass.
Taking a few sips, you feel a bit more coherent, though still mortified by your earlier behavior. "I'm really sorry about earlier. I don't know what came over me," you apologize, feeling the weight of your actions.
Max waves off your apology with a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about it, Y/N. We've all had our moments. Just focus on feeling better now," he reassures you, his kindness washing away some of your embarrassment.
Grateful for his understanding, you nod, silently vowing to be more careful with your alcohol intake in the future. With Max's support, you start to relax, the tension of the evening slowly dissipating as you settle into a comfortable silence together.
Feeling surprisingly refreshed considering the events of the previous night, you cautiously explore Max's apartment, your mild headache a small reminder of your intoxicated antics. As you rummage through his cupboards, searching for something to alleviate your thirst, Max's voice startles you from behind.
"You're awake!" he exclaims, catching you in the act of snooping through his belongings. His tone is light, lacking any hint of reproach.
Caught red-handed, you quickly straighten up, turning to face him with a sheepish grin. "Uh, yeah, just... looking for a mug," you mumble, feeling a flush of embarrassment creep into your cheeks. Max chuckles at your flustered state, gesturing towards the cupboard. "The mugs are on the right," he offers, his amusement evident.
You nod gratefully, relieved to have a legitimate reason for your nosiness. Retrieving a mug, you fill it with water from the tap, taking a long sip as you try to compose yourself.
"Thanks," you murmur, feeling a bit more at ease in Max's presence.
He smiles warmly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "No problem. Help yourself to anything you need," he says, gesturing around the apartment.
Feeling a sense of gratitude for his hospitality, you nod appreciatively. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Max's easygoing demeanor puts you at ease, allowing you to relax into the unexpected morning after.
As the morning progresses, you and Max find yourselves drawn into each other's company, the tension from the previous night giving way to a newfound sense of closeness. You chat effortlessly, sharing stories and laughter as the hours slip by unnoticed.
At some point, you realize how comfortable you feel in Max's presence, the awkwardness of your earlier interactions fading into the background. His easy smile and genuine interest in your conversation put you at ease, igniting a spark of attraction that you hadn't anticipated.
As you sit together on the couch, the air between you charged with a palpable energy, you feel the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. With each passing moment, the distance between you seems to shrink, until you're practically pressed against each other, the heat of his body warming your skin.
Caught in the moment, you find yourself drawn to him, your heart racing with anticipation. And then, as if guided by an invisible force, your lips meet in a soft, tentative kiss, a silent acknowledgment of the connection that has been brewing between you since the moment you met.
Time seems to stand still as you lose yourself in the sensation, the world around you fading into insignificance. In that fleeting moment, there's only you and Max, bound together by a shared desire that transcends words.
When you finally pull away, breathless and exhilarated, you meet his gaze, finding a mixture of surprise and longing mirrored in his eyes.
"I'm sorry!" you blurt out, feeling a surge of panic and embarrassment flood through you. "That was stupid—unprofessional—I—I should go," you stammer, scrambling to your feet and making a hasty move to leave.
But before you can make your escape, Max is quick to catch you by the wrist, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through you. "Did you not like it?" he asks, his voice soft but laced with uncertainty.
Your heart races as you meet his gaze, torn between the desire to stay and the fear of crossing a professional boundary. "It's definitely not that!" you insist, your words rushing out in a frantic tumble. "The kiss was—I mean—great but—"
"Then why can't I do it again, and again, and for the foreseeable?" Max interrupts, his tone earnest and determined.
You're taken aback by his boldness, the intensity of his gaze leaving you momentarily speechless. But deep down, you know that you can't deny the pull you feel towards him, the undeniable chemistry that crackles between you.
Slowly, hesitantly, you allow yourself to lean in, closing the distance between you until your lips meet once more in a tender, passionate kiss. In that moment, all doubts and reservations melt away, leaving only the two of you entangled in a whirlwind of emotion and desire.
And as you lose yourself in the heat of the moment, you realize that sometimes, the most unexpected connections are also the most powerful—and that perhaps, this kiss is just the beginning of something extraordinary between you and Max.
El fin.
ITS SHORT I KNOW SUE ME IT WAS LAST MINUTE AND ITS 00:12
#max verstappen#max#verstappen#mv1#mv33#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1#formula 1#charles leclerc#lando norris#mv33 x reader#mv33 imagine#mv33 fic#mv33 x you#max verstappen smut#max verstappen x you#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen x reader#formula 1 x reader#male form#formula 1 imagine#formula one#red bull f1#red bull racing#red bull team#red bull formula 1
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What about Laios, Holm and Kabru with someone who has never been in a relationship before, so they are unfamiliar with how they work (nsfw too if possible? Thank you)
As usual, requests are still OPEN, and NSFW will be below the cut!
Laios Touden
The two of you certainly make a pair. I really don't see Laios as someone who's really cared about relationships in the past, so the pair of you will be parsing through the hiccups that come with any new experience.
Between the two of you, you'll pendulum swing between too much and not enough - too much time together, not enough privacy, too much affection, not enough kisses and hugs. It'll be really important for the pair of you to communicate and establish what you want out of that relationship in order for the relationship to remain healthy, and eventually level out.
The first time that you find the privacy to indulge in one another's company, the heavy petting that you started with will shift into something a little more... substantial. The two of you will pull away, feeling the heat and heaviness settling over you, and, just like the rest of the your relationship, it'll be up to the pair of you to decide whether to pull back, or to throw yourselves into the flames.
Holm Kranom
From that little tidbit in the Adventurer's Guide (?) that Holm is attractive by gnome standards. I see him having had maybe a handful of relationships over the years, but none of them have really been fruitful - so he's willing to lend you a hand when it comes to sort of figuring stuff out. He's quite slow and gentle with affections, always checking in with you to ensure that nothing is moving too quickly for you.
If you're ever feeling too overwhelmed, he'll pull back on the overt shows of affections, trading hand holding for linking pinkies, and kisses on the lips for ones on the cheek. It's important for him to know that you're comfortable, while still getting to explore these intimate parts of the relationships.
When things get heated, Holm will excuse himself, not wanting to feel as though he's imposing on you with his arousal. At one such point, you feel bold enough to tug him back, potentially from where you're straddling across his lap. It's his turn to be bashful, his face flushing brightly as he leans back, placing a strangle hold on his patience while you explore to your heart's content.
Kabru of Utaya
I can see Kabru being an accidental heartbreaker over the years. It doesn't take someone much to see that not only is he handsome, but charming as well. He's keen to remind you that he only has eyes for you. He'll indulge you in handholding, especially after dinner while you all discuss what happened during the day.
Even if you talk over dinner, he loves to have you set your bedroll beside his, talking over more personal things. Even despite the rest of the party being never too far away, he tries to make these moments feel as though you're the only two in the world. He likes to start off just laying side by side, holding hands - but eventually the two of you drift closer, until he's checking that you're alright with a pre-bed (and maybe even during-bed) cuddle.
He's got no qualms in explaining to you just what he likes, bearing his erogenous zones to you. He'll encourage you to explore, and is more than willing to reciprocate, moving the warmth of his hands over all over your body. In that nice, even tone, he'll give you words of affirmation, telling you how good you are, what an amazing job you're doing - he doesn't want you to feel like he's not enjoying himself, and he hopes you are too.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi reader#delicious in dungeon reader#x reader#headcanons#hcs#dungeon meshi headcanons#delicious in dungeon headcanons#kabru of utaya#laios touden#holm kranom#smut
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I'm love with kk!!
I was thinking.... what about
Kk with older reader?
Headcannons or a fic (whatever you want)
Remember, take care and take your time. I love uuuuu 🥰💐✨️
love this idea!
I'm Not Even That Old
Summary: KK x Older!GF
wc: 634
Contains: a tad suggestive towards the end
______________________________
Kk definitely makes the most jokes about you constantly. Like the teasing is unending.
“You need help up, granny?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“We can even get you a cane if yo-”
“Kamorea.”
“Sorry.”
Even though you're only 2 years older than her, she makes sure you know.
“How was the great depression?”
“KK, how in the ever loving fuck am I supposed to know that?”
“You didn't have front row seats?”
That's not to say that you don't get her back. Whenever she pisses you off, you just talk to her like she's 7.
The team makes fun of you, too, but KK makes sure she draws the line if she thinks they go too far.
“Granny, can you please grab my water bottle?” Ice asks.
“Nah, don't make the old lady get up, Ice, I gotchu.” Paige laughs.
“Say that again, Paige, I will jam all your fingers.” KK warns.
Just because you're older doesn't stop KK from protecting you. In a party, on the court, even when a playful fight gets a little too intense for her liking.
The game had been physical already and it was beyond frustrating for everyone, but especially KK. The girl that was guarding you was overly touchy, and the refs weren't calling any fouls. She tried not to let her agitation show, and she was doing a decent job at it.
It all came crashing when the girl knocked the ball out of your hand, catching you by surprise. You both dove for the ball, hoping to gain possession.
You managed to hug the ball, the girl’s arm tangling with yours. The whistle blew, and the girl didn't let go. You were both on the ground, and it was not an ideal situation, so you let go, letting the girl yank the ball from you, shoving you simultaneously.
The refs call a technical, but that's not enough for KK, who has a couple of choice words for the girl. “Shove her like that again, bitch, see what happens!” KK spoke rather loudly.
The girl turned around, approaching KK, pushing off the players and refs between them. “Say that again, and it won't just be a fucking push!”
You rush over, attempting to pull her away from the interaction. You failed, and the two kept shouting at each other across the court, both of them gaining a technical.
“Calm down, calm down.” You mutter as you guide her to the bench. KK just grunts in frustration, plopping down.
“My little guard dog.” You smile at her. She rolls her eyes at you. “Fuck off.”
The team is always coming to you for financial advice as if you're not in the same spot as them.
“Paige, my degree is in communications, how the fuck am I supposed to help you with fucking statistics?”
“You're old enough to have done college twice! I thought you'd be able to help!”
“Bueckers, we're the same fucking age.”
“You're older than me.”
“By a single week.”
“Older than me, nonetheless.”
“Get the fuck out of my face.”
When you two argue, you usually have to be the mature one, normally apologizing first. If it's really bad, though, you stoop to her level of pettiness.
“Baby, please, I'm sorry, talk to me, please.” KK begs.
“Are you ready to apologize?”
“...”
“Come back when you have an answer.”
During intimate moments, you'll often take the lead, and she claims it's because you're more experienced, but you both know that's bullshit.
When you tell her to do something, she often quotes the Family Guy Skit, claiming that you're bossing her around.
She doesn't let you drive, saying she doesn't trust your driving skills at your old age. (in reality, she just wants you to be her passenger princess)
Even though she's teasing, the age difference doesn't bother her at all.
______________________________
taglist: @wintersstan @bueckerslover @lilia22hicks @fake-intelligences @girlokwhatever @pbloverr @breeloveschris-deactivated20240 @cosmopretty @hellokittyfeenie
#kk arnold x black!reader#kk arnold x fem!reader#kk arnold x reader#kk arnold#uconn wcbb#wcbb x reader#wcbb#uconn wbb#uconnwbb#uconn#uconn huskies#patsworks
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G'raha, I would die for you
Okay. Replaying Shadowbringers rn and G'raha just got abducted by Emet-Selch, and this whole scene hits just as hard on the fourth play-through as it did on the first. Look at this fuckin face. This is the face of a man who loved you from a distance for A HUNDRED YEARS assuming you didn't even remember his fucking name, until you call out to him just as he's about to sacrifice his life for yours.
He's about to teleport himself into the Rift and fuckin' die, and still, that proof that you remember him, that you matter to him makes him so fucking happy.
And. Like. Take a minute to think about that.
Not only did he come up with this insane scheme to rewrite history, then actually have the brilliance to pull it off, but... he has lived MULTIPLE LIFETIMES for you, and walked into this situation anyway, fully thinking that he was going to die, and totally prepared to sacrifice more than anyone could possibly comprehend. Like - imagine living long enough to see the small community of refugees you harbored to grow into a vibrant city. Imagine being part of their lives as the first residents of the Crystarium have children, grow old, and die, even as their children are having children of their own.
Imagine an attack that happens during that second generation that kills a couple with a young child and taking her in because she has no one to care for her. Imagine taking time, despite all of your responsibilities and literally being on the clock to save the world, to raise her to be strong, loyal, and unfailingly excellent at what she does. She isn't your blood, but she's the closest thing you'll ever have to a daughter, and still you don't hesitate to leave when it's time to see your scheme through to its ultimate end - your ultimate end.
Imagine what it would have been like making those final preparations without being able to tell anyone that you were saying goodbye.
Imagine having tea with Chessamile and agreeing with her that you need to do this more often.
Imagine discussing improvements to the Crystarium with Katliss that you know you'll never see.
Imagine gossiping with Bragi and knowing you'll never get to hear how things turned out.
Imagine visiting Moren to give him a book and saying nothing as he insists that he'll return it to you when he's finished.
Imagine having lunch with Lyna, your daughter, who will find herself in charge when you're gone, and having to give her instructions about what to do in the event of your death.
Imagine having that much love in your life - an entire city that you built from the ground up, and whose residents you loved with all your heart, and who loved you just as strongly. And calmly bidding that entire life farewell as you take an amaro to Kholusia to rewrite history by saving the life of the person you love, thinking that you were nothing more than a minor footnote in their previous adventures. Then imagine finding out at the literal last second that they not only remember, but cared deeply about you the entire time, and still having the strength of will to sacrifice yourself anyway.
What an icon. What an absolute fucking legend.
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alrighty bae ty for ur insight <3 🙂↕️🙂↕️ graduating next year and we’ll see how this goes (gonna spin the wheel when it comes to choosing my major next yr bc i dont rlly care abt what career im pursuing ngl 🤣🤣🤦♂️🤦♂️ its tough out here 😓)
AND I JUST NEED TO GIVE U A CHARACTER FROM UR LIST RIGHT?? 🙊🙊💕 how abt my glorious king nagi (⩌ᴗ⩌)
hi vivi !! thank you sm for supporting my little wordpress event !! since you're doubting whether or not to study marketing, seishiro nagi will help you! marketing major! reader
SEISHIRO NAGI . . . INSIGHT GENIUS
— nagi unknowingly helps you with everything you might need during your homeworks. he's the one who helps you browse through the net (by having you on his lap while you use his pc) for netnographies, or even lets you use him for an ethnography interview on gamers.
— nagi is crazy good at obtaining insights. we've known that nagi is insanely smart, but he's just lazy. when you're struggling to find an insight for a fast food chain, he'll whip his head up and just go "i like my ice cream with fries, drive me to mcdonalds please" and next thing you know you're creating a promo because he wasn't the only one who liked his ice cream that way.
— if you need connections, nagi's your guy. because reo knows a guy who knows a guy, and chigiri too. due to his status as a football player, he also knows a guy who knows a guy too. so you'll be booked and busy during your internship (which is bomb btw) and after.
— it'll definitely be a conflict of interest later on, but nagi wants you as his community manager. he wants you to manage everything, unlike the OTHER, not you community manager he had before who pestered him about his image and his posts. though, little does he know, you have to do the same as them. just because you're his partner doesn't mean you won't do your job correctly. his brand is sacred.
#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#bllk x reader#nagi seishiro x reader#nagi x reader#seishiro nagi x reader#blue lock headcanons#bllk imagines#bllk x you#nagi x you#nagi x y/n
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Crash
Sequel to Cravings
Frankie Morales x F!Reader
Summary: Frankie is reeling from the night you two had sex and can no longer differentiate between his addictions.
Notes: Great y’all, now he's got feelings . Hope you're proud. Anyway, thank you all for the overwhelmingly positive feedback from Cravings: alas, here’s part 2! There will be a part 3 finale following after this (because it was getting too long and I like making you all suffer). Thank you all again for the love and reading so far!
Warnings: Oral (m and f receiving), F and M masturbation, dry humping, drunk reader, slight dub con drunk sexual activities, references to sex, mentions of drug usage, language, Frankie is kinda mean in this one :( , poor communication King and Queen
18+ONLY
- - - -
Frankie feels like a stranger who's overstayed his welcome in his own home. When he knew you were deep asleep, he crawled out of bed and sat on the couch for what felt like a simultaneous eternity and quantum leap of time, wrestling in his mind over what just happened.
He knows you'll be waking up soon, and the thought of seeing you now makes him feel so anxious. In direct contract to how he's felt seeing you every morning since you moved in. How much of last night stuck with you? You were tipsy, but not as fucked up drunk as he was. Did he come on to you too strong? Misread your signs? Did he force it on you? Would you regret it?
And even if you wanted it, was it just all for him? Was this just another "helping Frankie get over his coke problem"?
He can't just go back to seeing you as a substitute for his "problems". His hands shook at his side, leg bouncing. You were slowly transitioning from being the solution to his problems to becoming the reason for his new problems. He's never been afraid about how to act around you before, and that even includes trying to touch and kiss you in front of some guy you were flirting with at the bar.
God, what a shitty friend he is. You should have had the chance to go home with that guy, not have to deal with your coke addicted friend so he hog your cunt all night for himself.
Then again, why would you want to go home with that fucker anyway? Like he would know your body as intimately as Frankie does. As if he could even come close to bringing to the edge black out pleasure and back over and over all night. Catfish doesn’t pride himself on much except two things: flying a chopper under any condition, and making you cream on his tongue.
He feels even more guilty as his cock hardens in his pants, the memories of your sweet moans and perfection flood his mind. How he'd wanted it for so long and was so sure he was dreaming. But he could never mistaken: the hot tenderness of your sweaty skin, hair sprawled over his pillow, your nails sifting through his curls and scratching along his shoulders, the way your legs shook around his head, the taste of your over flowing juices needing him more than before, the sounds like honey pouring from your lips, the insatiably tight, wet grip of your pussy swallowing around him like a perfect fit, and the way you wrapped yourself around him like you never wanted to let go.
He wants you. Again. And again, and again. So much that he doesn’t think he can trust himself around you anymore.
-
You wake to a cold bed. It takes you a moment to orient yourself, recognizing the room is not your own.
You sigh relief when you hear Frankie shuffling in the kitchen, the smell of burning toast filling the air. You quickly run to the bathroom to freshen up, wiping your messy eyes. And surprised to find the once mess between your legs from last night had already been cleaned, probably while you had slept.
You can't help but feel like a shitty friend, hogging his bed, having him clean up after you when he was the drunk one who needed caring to.
You bounce into the living space, announcing your presence with an exaggerated yawn.
You rub his broad shoulders over his shirt, feeling him tense at your sudden touch. Slowly, your hands snakes down the chiseled lines of his back, wrapping around his waist. You felt his strong forearms flex the spatula in his hand.
He turned to you, his eyes warm but clearly sleep deprived. His breath is short when looking at you, eyes dilated. He can't stop your hands drifting south and feeling the clear tent in his pants that has been there all morning. He closes his eyes and groans as you palm his erect cock.
"Why didn't you wake me?" You asked, turning off the stove as you stare up at him.
Frankie swallows the lump in his throat. He brushes your hands off his crotch and holds them in his. “I’m okay. Besides, you needed your rest." He leans down to kiss your cheek, lacking his usual affection despite the gesture before coldly turning back to his cooking.
You pull away and sit down at the table, just a moment before he's plating your breakfast.
Frankie cooked you breakfast?
He brushes your hair out of your eyes before leading himself down the hall and into his room without another word.
Sheets, pillow cases, clothes, all of it gets balled up and tossed in the wash. He glances at you down the ball, your feet dangling over the island stool as you catch up on your news feed.
You couldn’t be any more oblivious to how much his heart is shattering—just from doing absolutely nothing.
-
He's annoyed at how well you carry about your business from then on. So much so that he's trying so hard avoiding using you as much. Yes he WANTS to fuck you again, wants to ravish your cunt every waking minute of the day like before, and then fuck you until you're pleading him to stop, tell you how good you look taking him, and how you were clearly made for him. But how much of it did you want for yourself?
After the first night, he’s been doing everything in his power avoiding sex with you because it’s dangerous. Because he can't control what happens next. Can't keep it platonic, and pretend he’s ok with it just staying sex. He almost lost it and confessed everything the first time—and what would happen when you didn't want that from him? If you didn't feel the same?
You'd leave him.
So of course you make it that much harder for him to resist you everyday since.
Did you realize how sexy you looked wearing nothing but panties, bending over your bed with the fan on after a shower to cool off? you left your door open, casually waving to him, breasts smushed between your chest and the soft blanket on your bed. Did you know he swells with pride when can he still see the obvious markings of his fingerprints bruised on to your hips, your thighs, your stomach, after spending so much time holding your shaking body against his mouth? The way your nipples pierce through his t-shirts that you manage to dig out of his closet, and how they do nothing but aide the memory of you underneath him, begging for him to use you?
Every time he sees you, he gets hard. And he immediately tries to ignore you, walks away, goes to do anything other than giving in to the desire of pushing you down, spreading your legs and taking his frustration out on the one who's causing it all now.
He can tell you're starting to catch on. You notice his curt attitude, the way his eyes avoid you when you’re in the same space.
You two were sitting on the couch watching tv as always, but he was uninterested, leaning back against the sofa with his eyes closed almost in annoyance. You had interpreted it as a sign of him holding back his urges. Sliding down the couch, you glide your hand across his chest, starting to undo your buttoned night gown. when he opened his eyes and saw the first sliver of your breasts opening for him he stood abruptly, throwing you off. He only mumbles 'goodnight' and headed straight to his door.
It's been a few days since the last time he ate you out, last time he really cared to touch you. And you should be glad, really. He's getting so much better. Clearly craving you less. That was the whole fucking point of all this.
But FUCK if you aren't needy as of lates. You can feel the hot flush of embarrassment as you drag yourself to your room. Wet and bothered and for the first time in months, left unsatisfied to your own devices without Frankie's tender and a bit selfish care. You don't remember the last you needed to masturbate, let alone wanted to.
It shouldn't be embarrassing. And yet as you dip your fingers down your panties and through your slick folds, you feel wrong. Empty. Like something isn't there thats supposed to be. The idea that you're so used to him getting you off whether you asked for it or not that you're now incapable of doing it yourself is—troubling.
You huff in frustration and try your best to work yourself to a minimal slickness, remembering all the times Frankie has brought you over the edge again and again. But thinking about him only makes you slightly perturbed by the fact that he's right down the hall and could be doing this himself, if he only needed you as badly like he used to.
You don't notice your friend is right outside your closed door, ear pressed against the wood as he listens to your hushed sighs. His cock is hard in his hand, pumping it with long strokes to your beautiful yet strained moans. He wants to be buried between your legs. Wants his tongue to lap at your folds, fingers craned deep in that tight hot wet heat thats been calling his name all night. Make you flinch away when the stimulation becomes too much, because he knows you'll still take it like his good girl until he decides to stop. He knows all the right places to push, nothing secret between the two of you. In fact, in the amount of time thats passed with your fumbling attempts to get off and his pulsing dick in his hand, he could have made you cum twice now.
His body has been on overdrive trying not to take you again. Trying to be respectful for a change. Everything hurts, even his cock, which no matter how much he tugs on it, it's nowhere near close to giving him that sweet release. He's feral, nails digging in his thighs with the need to feel you against him again. Needs to just fuck, let it out, and then he can deal with his brain, his guilt, afterwards.
And when he hears you softly moan his name, he can't stop himself from barging down your door, wild eyed, dick slapping against his abdomen as he crawled over top of you and captured your lips.
Stop, stop stop, he's telling himself. But with the way you're wrappings your arms around his shoulders, deepening the kiss, delicate hands cupping his aching cock, all his needs he's been denying for days have overtaken his movements.
You're so bad for him. An unavoidable addiction.
Worse than candy, worse than coffee, worse than cocaine.
He flips you on your stomach, his hand engulfing the entirety of your lower back, pinning you there as his elbows spread your knees. He lies between your thighs, ass up in front of his face, and spreads your soaked folds, enamored with your clit twitching for him. Your little hiccup goes quiet when he presses his face into your mound, nose dragging along the line as his jaw works you open, fingers pulling your cheeks apart so he can suffocate himself properly.
His fingers dig into your waist, and he's rocking your body back and forth, dragging so deliciously against the sheets below you. His tongue is plunging in and out of your hole, and you realize he's fucking you on his tongue. You hum in relief, rocking with his movements, earning you stinging slaps on your ass cheeks. He kisses them better before biting your folds and gorging himself on your slit again, his appetite voracious after denying himself of your sweetness all week.
He ignores that bubble of guilt wedged deep in his stomach as he let's instinct bring him the relief he desperately needed, your squelching cunt and satisfied sighs tampering his cravings for you once again.
He watches you shake with your orgasm, encouraging him to keep taking. You babble: "Thats it, baby" "so hungry today aren’t you?" "Use it the way you like" and he closed his eyes, wishing he could block out the clear direction of how you saw this transaction. You were never this vocal before, but now when he's tossing and turning all night with his thoughts about wanting you, here you are telling him plainly. Almost as if you're reminding him the truth, discrediting his hopes for a different outcome.
He sits upright and slaps his cock between your ass cheeks, grinding down on you so you're still pressed flat on your bed. God, he wants to do it again. Spread your folds and split you in half with his fat cock. Make you weep and pass out, and then fuck you again. "Gorgeous fucking ass, mi hermosa. So pretty under me," He grunts as he slicks his member up with your arousal, just barely holding on the last bit of sanity he has by refusing to enter you. You whine in protest, but he has both hands on your lower spine, crushing your hips into the mattress as he uses your ass. "So good spoilin' me. Always there for me." He grits his teeth, rutting his cock against you, occasionally sliding back down to your folds to lather himself up. "Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" He growls as he spills his cum over your lower back, breath catching in his throat.
The guilt creeps back in to his clear mind, and he's angry at himself again.
He can't stop himself.
"Frankie, why didnt—“
Before you could finish, he was storming out your door and slamming it behind him.
-
He used to be so loving. Used to worship your body, warm praises about how perfect you are for him. Sometimes he'd take his time, and other times he'd be fast, but still always with warm hands, attentive to your reactions, even when he was so fucked out of his mind needing you.
But now he's rougher. More sporadic than before, even as he decreases the number of times he's engaged with you. Silent now, too. fewer loving praises, less warmth behind his touch or his eyes, and in fact, spends more time having you in positions where he doesn't have to look at your eyes. He leaves you cold afterwards every time.
He's been acting like it a lot more lately: ignores you all week, being uncharacteristically polite when you corner him but managing to ditch whenever possible. And then he caves all at once, crashing in on you and takingtakingtaking, before going back to ignoring you. It should be a good thing: that he needed you less. That his cravings were subsiding more and more that he could actually go a while before needing a hit. It really should have been like this from the start: Cold. Transactional. Indifferent.
So why did you feel so awful now?
The only reason you haven't lost all hope is that very occasionally, that sappy, wet puppy dog of a mess shows his warm side again. You were showering when you heard him slip the curtain open behind you and step in, his arm immediately wrapping around your stomach, loving kisses adorning your shoulder, neck, and up to your ear. You sigh, relaxing in to his touches. He just held you there and kissed your body. He didn't even try to touch you, although you knew you were growing a different wetness between your legs. He didn't let you touch his obvious erection either. Just peppered you in kisses, dragging his lips over your stomach, combing through your hair, up to your elbow then down in the palm of your hand. There was no rush behind hid actions. No urgency. All gentle.
All Frankie.
YOUR Frankie.
But incidentally as he brought his eyes to yours, his chest seized with coldness again, and he's suddenly leaving you and the now cold shower without a word.
You didn't know how to make it better anymore.
He was so agitated again recently, and you could tell he didn't get any sleep again. You suggested he take the day off, the two of you could spend it "however he wanted", slyly offering yourself to him to take the edge off. But when he ignored you and went to watch the football game, two beer bottles dangling between his fingers, you rolled your eyes.
So fed up with his change in attitude, you spent an hour getting ready in your room, walking down the hall in heels, your tightest shortest shorts, and a low hanging crop. It had been a month since you and Frankie first fucked: combined with his recent behavior, stress with work, and lack of action, you needed a night out, needed to get wasted. Needed to stop being the baby sitter.
You needed sex.
"Where the hell are you going?"
"Out."
You grabbed your keys and left.
You hadn’t even closed your car door before opening your phone and texting Frankie that you were going out with Santi to help alleviate any worries he might have of the company you're keeping. Pope’s just as close a friend as Frankie is: he shouldn't have any problems about the fact that you’re in good hands tonight and just need some time to drink and be out.
Away from Frankie Morales just for the night.
-
It’s like you’re perfectly doing everything wrong to him.
She's out with Santi. Fucking Pope. The same Santi who told Frankie years ago you're smoking hot, and he wouldn't hesitate to jump on you if you let him. His best friend, the one who knows him better than himself, and yet here he is making a move on his girl—
But you aren’t his.
In fairness, he has been a total ass. He keeps trying to curb his desires, punch away his uncontrollable feeling about you, only caving all at once on you like a bullet train. Then the emotional brick wall of regret builds immediately after release, desperate to shut out his overwhelming feelings and the rough actions he’s taken against you. It keeps repeating.
He vainly hopes he'll actually stop wanting someone who doesn't want him any more.
He curses himself for only having enough alcohol to get slightly tipsy. It's been a week since the two of you did anything sexual, a month since "the incident" so it's a good thing you're out.
It doesn't make him feel better.
To his annoyance, his phone buzzes next to him as Santi's contact pops up. He puts it on speaker, can hear loud giggles and music outside, barely registering his friend saying you're completely wasted and need to be taken home. He doesn't even send a reply, already throwing his jacket and cap on and walking out the front door.
-
"FISHY!"
You're leaning over Santi outside the bar when you spot Frankie walking towards you two. Your mascara smeared across your eyes like you had been wiping them all night. You're mumbling incoherently, throwing your head back in a fit of laughter. Pope is barely holding you up right, sheepishly smiling to keep your morale up.
"Hey man. I’m sorry, She lost her keys and I walked here. Otherwise I would have..."
"It's fine. Gimme her," Frankie said curtly. How Santi would ever let you drink this badly, he'd have to berate him later.
"M' Pinocchio!" You gasped as Frankie slung one of your arms over his neck and hoisted you up on one of his shoulders.
Why? Full of lies? he wonders.
“I’m gonna be swallowed by a great big FISH." You hiccuped, cackling upside down with a nice view of your besties tight ass. Frankie readjusts your body like a sack of potatoes on his shoulder and stands up, holding your thighs securely. If Santi wasn't here, he'd smack your ass to get you to shut up.
Frankie nods once at Santi and goes to turn around.
"Hey Fish? Take—take care of her. Please."
No shit.
Frankie is pushing open the apartment door as you're mumbling "fishy fishy fishy—hic!— squishy fishy."
He drops you down carefully on your bed. "Get undressed."
You giggle even more, seductively biting your lips as you pull yourself up to his body, hands roaming his abs and down to his hips. "You first."
He stared down at you, your lust ridden eyes meeting his, as you're pulling your shirt off so you're only in a push up bra. He tried avoid staring at your supple tits, the faint bite marks and bruises from his past ministrations almost completely faded by now. A fresh canvas practically begging to be marked up again...
He shakes his head. "We're not doing this. You're getting in your pj's and going to bed," he said, scolding you like a brat.
"Ppfftttttt." You ignore him, lifting his shirt and kissing his belly button, tracing down his happy trail and pausing at his belt. "At least someone here misses me."
He hasn't even noticed how hard he was in his jeans until you were rubbing your cheek against his clothed bulge, doe eyes staring up at him. He hears the soft pop of his pant's button undone, zipper slowly being dragged down by your teeth.
"When was the last time I blew you, Fishy? Let me relax you. I know you've needed this..."
His jaw clenched as he avoided your eyes.
“Know you want me,” you purred.
Those fucking words again. If you KNEW how much more he actually wanted from you...
"He's positively aching, Fish. Shouldn't ignore a big man in need."
He doesn't stop you when you pull his cock out of his pants, having foregone the underwear in a rush to get you. He closes his eyes when your pretty nails wrap around his thick length, lips ghosting over his tip as you press an innocent kiss to his slit.
You hadn't blown him in a long while, and not often enough as you would have liked. you don't normally take charge, but he's been so distant lately that you can't help but use the alcohol in your system as a newfound confidence to forcibly get him to unwind. Your cunt throbs with need, forgetting just how indescribably big he is until felt him swelling in your mouth. It's sinister how well his dick reacts to your tongue, like you had been practicing as often on him as he had intimately gotten to know your pussy.
Your lips suction his tip into your mouth, causing him groan. His stomach flexes above your forehead. He's resisting again. Your tongue swirls around the tip as you lightly bob your head, swallowing an inch more and pulling out with a pop, teasing him slowly. You needed to get him worked up so he could let go, relax for once.
Maybe not be so cold to you for a while...
He feels your hands gently grasp his own that were down by his side, guiding them up to the back of your hair. You squeeze them in permission before returning your hands to wrap around the length of his cock that didn't fit down your throat.
You experimentally swallow around his shaft, eliciting a soft "fuck" from his breath. He collects your hair in a makeshift pony tail in his hand so that he had a full view of your face, submissively staring up at him as you gulp more of his cock into your inviting mouth.
You feel him twitch against the roof of your mouth, the veins in his v-line in front of you throbbing. Other than holding your hair up, he continues to let you set the pace. His eyes are fixed on you, head slightly titled to the side, entranced by your spell, his tongue just hovering between his teeth.
You push your face a little further, nose brushing against his public hairs, the first jolt of your esophagus resisting the intrusion. y|You hold yourself there, holding your breath for a moment before sucking him again. He's breathing deeply with long, staggered huffs.
You tilt your head back up, eyelashes fluttering as he watches his shaft rest on your outstretched tongue, slowly tracing the veins on the underside of him.
He fists your hair a little tighter, struggling not to grab your face and fuck your throat raw until you choked.
You swallow around him once before letting his dick fall from your mouth with a slick plop.
You stand up, eyes challenging his dominance despite the height difference as you drag him to sit on the bed, and while his eyes are emotionless, body stiff, he doesn't try to stop you. He rests against the headboard as you crawl over his lap. You waste no time to kiss him.
He’s not accepting your tongue, just letting you work over him. What the fuck is his problem? it's never taken him this long to give in. You can tell he WANTS to kiss you back, his jaw clenching so hard he could shatter his teeth. It's never stopped him before.
Truthfully, what you didn't know was that he was tired of you today; from trusting Santi over him for fuck knows what reasons, then having you come home drunk out of your mind, trying to tempt him with more emotionless sex. It's putting him off of your antics mentally. He wanted you, but not like this. He couldn't handle the aftermath of giving in to you again, but not having you.
Sexually, his mind was losing the war over his body's needs.
If it wasn't coke, it was you. And if it wasn't you...
It can only be you.
And Jesus, just when he thought he had a grip on being able to block you out for good tonight, you somehow managed to be an irresistable siren:
"'M so wet for you," you slurred seductively against his lips.
He can't hide the growl rumbling lowly in his chest. His lips part to let out a breath he had been holding and you take the chance to engulf his mouth with the hot kiss you'd been dying to get all week. His lips quickly mold to yours as you whimper pathetically, his hands sliding down to grip your ass in his warm, rough hands. You prop yourself higher on him, cupping his face in your hands, forehead nudging his Standard Oil cap off. You can feel his hot breath panting quickly against your cheek, his resolve crumbling.
He's right there. He's so close to relaxing. Just a little push...
You pull away, his lips almost chasing after yours. "C'mon big boy, wasn't it soooo good?" You playfully bite his ear. "You've got suck a nice cock here," you whisper, fisting his dick once again with the remnants of your spit, pumping his shaft easily. "Shame if it wasn't pounding me tonight...C'mon. Let's do it again."
He finally brings his eyes directly to yours. Your pupils were blown wide, crowded with evident lust. But it was what he could see beyond your eyes that told him exactly what he feared all along:
Nothing.
He doesn't stop the words from tumbling out of his month. "Why? so you can just use me for sex?" he said matter-of-factly, his face relaxing into a mix of coldness and spite.
You stop giggling and pull away, eyes widening with the most seriousness, and hurt, he'd ever seen on you. "And how is that any different than how you've treated me for the past year?"
His jaw is slack with panick, immediately wishing he could take back what he just said. No I—shit, I didn't mean —I didn't mean it like that—“
You get off of him with a hostile sense of urgency, ignoring his hands trying to caress your elbows, to keep you on him. You dig in your back pocket and then you're throwing something hard at his chest. "No, you know what? Fuck you, Frankie." You storm off to your bedroom and lock it.
He covers his face with both hands and leans back against the sofa. Looking down at his lap after a minute, he sees the pair of keys you've had to his apartment for the past year.
What he'd give to be high right now and to forget everything.
-
You spend the entire night packing. He's right at your door first in the morning when you open it, his stomach churning with pain at the image of your eyes bloodshot from exhaustion, hangover, and tears.
You brush past him before he can even apologize, settling your belongings on the kitchen counter. As you toss your scattered items in to your tote, he watches you, fingers twirling in on themselves with anxiety.
Now, now, do it now! he's screaming in his mind.
“I—“
You interrupt him, and it's only now that he sees you're not shaking in anger—you're trembling in tears: "I'm s-sorry that I snapped at you last night. I wasn’t— in the right head. I c-came on to you. You had your reasons for doing what we've done, and last night I was just genuinely u-using you for no other reason other than self interest and I'm s-so sorry." You swallow and take a deep breath before continuing: "I gave up a lot coming here, trying to help you, letting you use me to get better. But I can't do it anymore. I wanted to help you, but then when we had sex, I didn't know if things would change, I didn’t want things to change, and when I woke up, you weren't there, and then you treated me so coldly afterwards. I don't know what I did wrong.” Your voice cracks, sniffling away the running of your nose. “And it felt awful. I just wanted to go back to the way things were. But you s-seem like you hate me now, and I—“ you pause, rubbing your eyes on your sleeve, suddenly changing tone in a polite manner, like you were address a principle and ignoring your previous breakdown. "I'm very happy you're clearly doing a lot better and don't need me anymore. Sorry, I don’t—I don't mean to cry like this.”
Frankie is frozen.
You're crying. You're crying in front of him, which wasn't a first; you've cried to him about stupid boys before. But what IS a first is that you're crying for the first time over the stupid boy right in front of you. You're crying, Because. Of. Him.
Just tell her tell her tellhertellhertellherNOW
But as he opens his month, his words get caught in his throat, like swallowing a lump of coal and puking a ball of fire all at once. His chest aches unlike anything he'd experience before. All he can say is "I... understand."
Nononononoyoudumbfuckwhatareyoudoing!
You nod and sniffle, clearing your throat. "I'd like to just go back to being friends. Before all of this. I'll still support you, I swear. I want you to still feel like you come to me for anything else. But I need some time. To get myself in check." You calmly collect your things and make for to the door.
"Wait!" he goes to grab your arm but his hand freezes up, like touching you would give you painful blisters. You pause and look over to him as he stands a bit closer. “I—I think you should keep this." He puts your key in your hand. "In case. Something happens."
Your lip quivers with empathy, eyes softening for him. "Please. I don't... I don't want to think about..." I don't want to think about seeing you lying face down OD'd on the carpet.
"Just. Hold on to it. Just in case. I'm asking as your friend. We're still that at least. Right?" The words feel like hot iron in his mouth, a heaviness in his heart desperately trying to convince himself more than you.
He wants to hug you. but if he did, he wouldn't let you leave. The warmth of his hand draws away from you after depositing the key in your palm.
You nod, rub his shoulder affectionately yet with clear distance, and leave.
He stands there like a statue in the hall, unable to comprehend just how much quieter and colder the apartment is now than it has been in months.
- - - -
Tagging people who either requested a part two or directly requested to be tagged. At least what i can remember (sorry if I missed you!)
Part 3: Insatiable
Series masterlist
Taglist: @paleidiot @pedropascalsbbg @tonakings @nerdieforpedro @thewritermj @ahintofkiwistrawberry @perfectly-imperfect-me23 @sammy-4103 @survivingandenduring @millercontracting @emilyjustemily
#pedro pascal smut#frankie morales smut#francisco morales#triple frontier smut#frankie catfish morales#frankie morales x reader#frankie morales fanfiction#frankie morales x you#frankie morales fic#frankie catfish morlaes smut#catfish morales smut#catfish morales x reader#triple frontier fanfiction
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