#if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go cry in my corner

[snoos-tattoos]

Y'ALL I KNOW I HAVE BEEN INACTIVE AF AND I NEVER TALK ABOUT VIXX BUT THEY ARE MY SECRET TRUE ULTS AND THEY'RE GONNA HAVE A COMEBACK I AM SCREAMING SO HARD RIGHT NOW I'M CRYING SERIOUSLY

[hey-there-22]

Loki season 2 episode 5 spoilers ahead.

You know what breaks my heart? Loki crying because he is scared to lose the life he has built in the TVA. Scared to lose his friends. Scared to be alone.

But you know what breaks my heart even harder? Loki unconsciously time slipping to his loved ones because he is scared to be alone and not accidentally time slipping to Thor. Because he could have done that. But he was scared and alone and he didn't think about his brother. Because he has just invaded New York and he isn't yet the Loki I adore. And now, he will never be.

[gemini-sensei]

Everything Has Changed | Cobra!Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz x Chubby!LaRusso!Reader

CW: teen pregnancy, angst, crying, kind of enemies to lovers.

Reader felt her heart leap into her throat as she stared down at the stupid plastic stick in her had. Pregnant.

"Fuck," she huffed and hit the wall with her fist out of frustration. "Dad is gonna freak the fuck out."

Her heart thumped hard in her chest as tears pricked the corners of her eyes. How one earth was she supposed to explain this to him or the rest of her family? What would she tell her friends? Her sister especially.

And of course the guy she slept with, multiple times after heated arguments and near spitting vile names at each other. How was she supposed to tell the most annoying, egotistical guy she knew that she was pregnant with his baby?

She didn't want to think about it but all the troubles invaded her mind anyway. With a huff and a deep breath, she harshly wiped away her tears and tossed the pregnancy test in the trash. However, when she looked in the bathroom mirror, she felt sick to her stomach.

Here she was, a LaRusso knocked up in high school...

"What the Hell am I going to do?"

As the days went by, Reader tried to act as if everything was fine. She went to school, did everything she had to, and made excuses as to why she couldn't go to karate afterward. She skipped going to the dojo, telling her dad and sister that she was hanging out with friends or needed to do homework. Before they could object, she slipped away and didn't let them get a word in.

It worked for a while but she knew that sooner or later, she was going to have to either get more creative in her excuses or tell them the truth. She really didn't want to do the latter, so she started making up all sorts of things to tell them. Her absences eventually reached her mother, who gently confronted her one night while doing the dishes after dinner.

"So, are you avoiding your father or are you just sick of karate?" she asked.

Reader scrubbed a plate and kept her head down. Another lie slipped past her lips with ease as she spoke. "I'm sick of it. I just didn't want to hurt Dad's feelings. You know how he gets."

Her mom let out a small laugh. "That I do. Well, I'll talk to him and make him ease up on ya. How does that sound?"

"Like a dream."

But the word didn't stop there. It traveled through the karate community and reached one mohawked menace's ears.

While walking to the library during one of her classes, Reader was suddenly grabbed by the elbow. She pulled her arm out of her unwanted company's hand and turned to him with a glare, staring Hawk down as he smirked. She spat, "What do you want?"

"Heard you were quitting Miyagi-Do," he said, an amusement in his tone. "Heard your dad's a pain in the ass, so I thought I'd come to extend an irrefutable offer to you."

"No dice," she said and put her head forward, continuing her walk. He annoyingly followed, so she continued. "Like Hell I'd even join that pitiful excuse you call a dojo. Besides, I didn't quit karate. I'm on a break."

"That's so lame," he huffed. She could practically hear the way he rolled his eyes. "Come on, you'll like it. It's a whole lot better than that lame Miyagi-Do crap you do."

"First of all, are you even listening to me? I said I'm taking a break," she said, not sparing him a glance. "Second of all, don't disrespect Mr. Miyagi like that. He shared his culture with my father and was like a grandfather to me. Just because you have a different way of doing karate doesn't make my way wrong."

"Jeez, chill out, LaRusso," he grunted. He glared at her, but there was a glint in his eyes. "What's got your mood so sour?"

She ignored him as she walked into the library, but it was futile as he followed behind her. She tried to walk faster than him, though unfortunately for her, she was tired and her body was a little sore. He caught up fast and stayed behind her as she browsed the shelves. However, she couldn't do that for long when he turned her around and pinned her against the bookcase, looking at her with that same glint in his eyes.

"Have I ever told you how you're kinda hot when you're pissed off?" he asked.

She looked at him, her breath caught in her throat. His hot breath fanned her face and made her knees weak, a fact she hated to admit to because he was so annoying. His bad-boy attitude was what both frustrated and attracted her to him, not that they'd ever discussed stupid things like feelings. They screwed around when things got tense; when their adrenaline was up from throwing insults at each other; when words escaped them and the only thing to do was smash their lips into each other and tear one another's clothes off.

But that couldn't happen this time, so she put her hands on his chest to prevent him from getting any closer. He gave her a weird look, almost offended.

"What? Tired of me too?" he asked.

"Grow up," she huffed and tried to shove him away, but he remained sturdy in his position.

He shook his head. "Be real with me, Reader. If you wanna me a bitch and go fuck someone else, then just tell me. There's plenty of other girls I could go to."

When she didn't say anything, he started to pull away. That was when she grabbed him by the front of his hoodie and pulled him back. He had to catch himself on the bookcase behind and he almost missed the words she hissed out.

"I'm pregnant, you fucking asshole."

He stared at her, holding himself over her, eyes slowly going wide as what she said set in. She watched the seething Cobra melt away, leaving behind a terrified teenage boy who was just as scared as the teenage girl in front of him. It broke her.

It broke her because if the all-mighty Hawk was scared, what did that mean?

She looked away from him as tears came to her eyes. "Jesus fucking Christ..."

Reader would have crumpled to the ground had he not been there to catch her. He held her up by her arms but unlike all the other times he held her, his grip wasn't rough or tight. It was firm and gentle.

"Are you fucking serious?" he asked dumbly.

She nodded, afraid to look at him as she quietly cried into her hand. She also didn't want to show him her tears, her weakness. It was too much to think about, stupidly so given the bombshell she'd just delivered to him. Why was she so concerned if he saw her cry? There were bigger fish to fry.

Then he did something unexpected. He hugged her.

His warmth suddenly became something different, something she never expected to feel from him. It wasn't lustful. It wasn't just body heat. It was comforting. So she buried her face in his chest and cried as quietly as she could, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him back.

Reader didn't know what he was thinking. She couldn't begin to imagine what was going through his head. Perhaps it was similar thoughts to what she had when she found out about the pregnancy, but unless she asked then she'd have no way of knowing. She didn't have it in her to ask at that moment though. All she could do was cry and he let her.

It wasn't as if Reader was new to keeping secrets from her family. She'd snuck out of the house numerous times without her parents knowing and she'd been fucking Hawk behind her sister's back. They were so wrapped up in their own problems that they didn't realize she was gone most of the time. However, hiding a pregnancy was a lot harder than anything else, mostly because it was frustrating.

The hardest night came when her dad made sushi for dinner.

Reader sat with her family as they enjoyed their meal and she sat quietly poking it with her chopsticks. It sucked not being able to eat a family favorite. She was starving and her parents had made the one thing she couldn't eat, not that they knew that.

"What's the matter, Reader?" her dad asked from his seat. He looked at her concerned, shifting his eyes between her and the plate in front of her. "You've hardly touched your food."

She felt a little tense. Everyone's eyes turned onto her and she hated it. She pushed her plate away and lied. "I'm not that hungry."

"You've hardly eaten today, you should really it," her mom said, pushing the plate back in front of her.

It was true, she hadn't eaten much, but that was because of the massive waves of nausea.

She pushed the plate away again and tried to ignore the way her stomach felt like it was going to eat itself. It was just her luck that on a night like this, her dad made sushi of all things. "Really, I'm not that hungry."

"Is something wrong?" her dad asked. It was the final straw on her already tense and hormonal back.

"I'm fine! God, why can't you guys just leave me alone?" she shouted, pushing herself away from the table and standing up. She stomped upstairs and slammed her bedroom door shut, tears pricking the corners of her eyes by the time she made it there. She loved the door to make sure no one followed her inside, knowing that was exactly what her dad or Sam would do.

She sat in bed for a while, waiting for the tears to stop, but they didn't. It was like a dam had burst from behind her eyes and now she couldn't make the tears stop. She did the only thing she could think of to do; she texted Hawk.

"So you haven't told your parents yet?" Hawk asked as he unwrapped a taco. He looked up at Reader as they sat in his cat. She was using the middle console as a little table as she poured sauce packets on her taco. He couldn't help watching her.

She felt his eyes on her and she didn't mind it so much as before. He'd been looking at her all night ever since he picked her up from her house. It somehow made her feel better, probably because he was the only person that knew what she was going through.

She looked up at him and shook her head. "No, my dad is gonna freak out and try to kill you when he finds out."

"I can handle myself," Hawk said, unafraid of Mr. LaRusso.

She hummed. "You won't say that when he's coming after you."

"I'm not scared of your dad, Reader."

"Yeah, okay," she said, then bit into her taco. Her cheeks were still stained with tear tracks but she didn't bother to clean them up. She was too tired and too hungry to be bothered with such a silly thing. So she decided to enjoy her tacos in silence.

Well, as much silence that could be achieved with the radio playing modern pop music. It was low and not really noticeable until the pair quieted down. That was how they sat for several minutes until they both finished their meal.

Reader disrupted the upbeat pop song playing by crinkling her taco wrappers and tossing them back into the bag from which they came. Hawk took the bag from her and hopped out of the car to walk it to the trashcan nearby. It allowed Reader to sit back and really look at the situation she'd gotten herself into; here she was with a student from the dojo her father hated, was bitter rivals with, eating tacos in a parking lot like it was a normal everyday thing to do. Oh, and she was pregnant with his baby, to top things off.

It was a hot mess and as she realized this, the storm of emotions reemerged. However, rather than let it get the best of her, Reader turned up the radio's volume and sang along to the Taylor Swift song that was playing.

When Hawk returned, he was met with the blasting volume and Reader singing at the top of her lungs. He slipped into the car, watching her carefully before turning the volume down a little bit.

"You okay?" he asked.

She looked at him, pausing her serenade. "I don't know."

"Why's that?"

"Maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm pregnant in high school and my dad is gonna kill me when he finds out," she said, sighing heavily. Then she shook her head. "Well, no, that's not true. He'll kill you and I'll be unscathed except for the fact that I know he's gonna be majorly disappointed and somehow that's worse than him being mad enough to commit murder."

Hawk reached over to her and rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. He offered as much comfort as he could, being the boy who had knocked her up and had yet to tell his own parents. A part of him understood the immense amount of pressure she was under but only a small fraction of it because he wasn't the one that was pregnant. He was just the guy.

Still, he offered his support. "Hey, it's gonna be okay."

"It doesn't feel like it," she mumbled.

They sat in silence for another few minutes, aside from the radio. She put her hand on his, accepting his comforting gesture. It helped soothe her mind, let her forget about the troubles that she would have to face, and allowed her to push them away again. He reminded her that she wasn't totally alone in all of this, which was what she had expected to come after she told him she was pregnant.

After all, he was a total jerk. At least that was what she was led to believe. He was a part of Cobra Kai, the asshole assembly that terrorized her sister and friends on a near-daily basis.

However, as they sat in his car under the lights of streetlamps and the Taco Town neon sign, she didn't see a Cobra.

She saw the boy who was scared of everything, the one he tried to erase from everyone's memory. No matter how hard he tried, he now sat in front of her, hair down, closed off to the world, quiet. Deep in thought, he didn't say anything, and he looked like a brief memory more than a person. He looked like Hawk, but she remembered-

"Eli..."

He looked up at her, a little shocked to hear that name fall from her lips. She spoke it softly, testing the waters. However, unlike how he lashed out at Demetri for using that name, his eyes softened from their startled state and he met her eye.

"Yeah?"

"What are we gonna do?"

He licked his lips and croaked, "I don't know..."

It fell silent again. The radio played. She looked down at their hands and sighed, letting the question and answer go. She was too tired to think about it or try to figure things out.

Then the song changed. It was an Ed Sheeran love song. The air filled with soft melodies and sweet tones. Reader felt awkward as it came on and tried to pull her hand away but he held it firmly, making her look up. Her heartbeat picked up when their eyes met again. He drew closer and she felt a magnetic pull as the nerves faded away. Their lips brushed against each other gently at first, then fully came together in a soft, long kiss.

She slipped a hand into his hair and his other hand came up to hold her waist. Their joined hands stayed together and he squeezed her hand, leaning into her to deepen the kiss. She let out a small moan, melting into it. Something about it was better than any other kiss she'd ever had.

But she was scared to pull away. So when it ended, she sighed and didn't open her eyes. Softly, she asked, "This can't be fake."

He looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

She took a deep breath before she looked at him. "I mean, if you're feeling obligated to be with me... because of the baby..."

He stared at her, then cupped her face and brought her lips to his once more. "I'm only obligated to be here because this is my baby too, but that's not why I'm kissing you. Reader... I've always had feelings for you."

"You hated me a few months ago."

"Before any of that," he told her. She stared at him, questing in entirely. "I never hated you. I could never hate you, Reader LaRusso."

She licked her lips. "Before?"

He nodded. "Way before."

She smiled softly, assured that this wasn't just circumstantial. And she kissed him again.

[fortunekookie07]

I absolutely ADORE historical Chinese dramas and Zayne's new memories hit me.

I mean his WHOLE outfit just screams historical drama right?

My favorite Chinese actress Dilreba Dilmurat, has done some of the best works I've watched to date. (My opinion.

That being said.....

ZAYNE!! Why you being sooo mean to me? 50 pulls and NOTHING???

Ahhh my heart is hurt. Seriously. I waited ALL day just to spend time with you. How you gonna do me dirty like that?

If you'll excuse me, imma go cry now. Check back later.

Hope ya'll had better luck.

EDIT!!

I am now completely in shambles. This man

This one right here ^^

Do you know what he did????

He made me pull SEVENTY times before finally giving in.

I'm just gonna spend the rest of the night in a corner and cry. The odds of me getting this memory pair are almost none.

When I heard the sound I straight up expected it to be Rafayel or Xavier.

Istg

You know what? Just gonna take myself to bed.

G'night

Edit #2

I am absolutely being picked on. This is the instigator.

I've drawn more than 100 times now

And Zayne's new pair memory isn't mine still. I thought for sure that I would get both before getting Rafayel or Xavier's 5 star memory. I already had this one, too!!

Ughhh Rafayel, is this cause I'm tormenting you emotionally rn??

I don't wanna admit defeat!! Be nice to me plz!

🥲🥲

[your-fave-adopted-you]

Hello!

First of all, I'm grateful to you for creating this blog and starting to share your creativity. The wonderful stories about NRC guardians are what we all needed.

I would also like to make a request. Guardians with a physically weak, but at the same time hardworking and obsessed with studying MC. Perhaps they were seriously ill and as a result, one day the MC loses consciousness right during the lesson.

Thank you for considering my request.

Yes. Excellent request anon. A very good way to start!

Guardian! School staff react to Mc passing out mid- lesson

characters : Dire Crowley, Divus Crewel, Mozus Trein, Ashton Vargas.

Gn pronouns were used.

CW: Crowley

Context : Mc is just a normal human in a world full of magic, monsters and stressful stuff in general(Crowley, for example) . With overblots and schoolwork [no one had previously prepared them for] around the corner, they are always giving their absolute best! even if sometimes is at cost of their own health.

One day, after pulling all nighters one day after the other for a whole week, their body finally gives up mid-lesson, an hour prior to a very important exam.

Dire Crowley

He got a call straight from the infirmary, apparently you were lying unconscious next to two worried classmates that insisted on being there until you woke up.

this man has never ever in his life rushed so fast to anyone's aid.

still there he is.

The school nurse approaches him and tells him you had a little temperature but you would be fine with rest.

he basically kicks out your classmates.

At first acts like you're in a coma.

after a while he calms down a little.

does NOT MOVE A MUSCLE until you do so.

fuck his work you're more important.

He kinda expected you to be fragile but didn't think you would overwork yourself to that point.

when you open your eyes you nearly pass out again from sheer fright.

this man was looking straight at you, not moving, not talking.

you weren't sure if he was breathing.

ofc the moment he notices your eyes are open he starts crying and screaming about how worried he was.

It's literally just been 5 minutes dude

lectures you about being so reckless.

also don't worry about that exam. you can take it tomorrow. Your health comes first.

Divus Crewel

He was giving a lecture about what kind of spells generated a bigger amount of blot than others when suddenly-

"THUD"

yeah it was your head falling against your desk.

"Sensei! i think they're dead."

Crewel was too stunned to speak.

calmly, he stops the lecture and tells the class president to keep an eye while he gets you to the infirmary.

Deep inside, he's panicking.

when you two get there, the nurse tells him that you already seem to have been ill for days but you seemingly didn't care and just kept on going.

He's PISSED because he didn't notice earlier.

stays there for a while and only leaves when he sees that you're fully conscious.

he will have someone watching over you in the meantime.

someone trustworthy, but not from your class (remember there's an exam next hour-) so, someone like Trey, Jamil, Jack, maybe Leona-

hear me out, Leona may not be the most responsible out of the four but he wasn't gonna do much in class either way.

Depends on what year your in, honestly.

Trein finally brings the exam sheets and when I tell you, Crewel SPRINTS out of the room.

how can someone move so fast while wearing all that-

He will scold the SHIT out of you for being so irresponsible with your health.

ofc you can do the exam next day, he already spoke to Mr.Trein about the issue.

"You are one stubborn pup did you know that?"

Mozus Trein

A very similar situation to Crewel's honestly.

once you hit your head against the desk and didn't respond, your classmates started to freak out.

Unfazed, he asks someone strong to carry you to the infirmary, and someone he knows will make sure you'll be okay.

he's quite calm.

when Crewel enters the class with the exam sheets, he excuses himself and goes immediately to the infirmary.

he brings the cat too.

when the nurse tells him what happened and in which condition you're currently in, he just nods attentively.

it doesn't matter if it takes you hours or just a couple minutes to feel better, he will be by your side.

he knew full well about your weak constitution, and that you were overworking yourself.

still, he didn't want to stop you, after all you were responsible for both your grades and your health.

don't take the wrong idea, he's MAD WORRIED

he also knows that won't solve anything.

the cat is laying on top of you, purring, trying to ease the pain in his own way.

you try to explain yourself but the old man just stays silent.

"You know, in my years of teaching, I've seen a couple of students who were just like you."

"reckless and stupid?" you ask.

"Too hardworking for their own good."

he pauses and takes a deep breath, his tone, unlike the others, is oddly gentle and comforting.

"You know better than anyone what's best for you."

"Well, seems like this time... i didn't." you reply.

"But you do know now, right?"

you nod.

you will take the exam next week, alongside those who have failed today.

it will give you time to recover and study just a little bit more.

You will be okay.

Ashton Vargas

It's never a good idea to ride a broom while sleep deprived and probably with a tiny fever.

everyone stops dead in their tracks when they hear someone has fallen to the ground.

Thank the great seven you weren't flying high.

still you got a good few scratches.

Everyone is PANICKING. you're facing THE GROUND and NOT MOVING.

Mr.Ashton sends everyone inside.

they can study in the meantime.

No more sports today, sorry, this shit is serious.

you come to your senses while he's carrying you. yep. you're so embarrassed you pretend to be unconscious a little more.

In the infirmary, the nurse tells your guardian that you don't have anything broken from the fall

but

you seem to have a fever that has only worsened since you got there.

He's so worried omg

you're a regular, non magical human.

you're fragile!!! even when he does his best training you and making sure you have the BEST diet!!

you seemed a little off today, yes, but he didn't know you were THAT exhausted!!

poor man.

waits by your side while the fever goes down, lets some worried classmates check how your doing, but doesn't let them stay for long.

oh shit right you had an exam today

don't worry, your super cool dad is here to save the day!

he just sends an email to Trein telling him what happened.

you will do the exam once you get out of the infirmary, you studied so hard, you would be pissed if all of this was for nothing.

oh! the fever is gone? thank god!

He thinks he had played it cool the whole time, but anyone can tell, the whole time he was looking at you like if you were about to break.

he wants to train you to be like iron, but no matter what, he can't help but see you as a piece of thin glass.

the moment the nurse checks you and says that you're good to go, you jump out of bed to go find Mr.Trein, leaving Ashton behind.

"...A diamond." he mutters to himself, while watching you leave the door.

[sick-girlz]

Do you mind writing about a caretaker who doesn't believe the whumpee is sick and is super guilty when they find out they're actually sick?

Thank you!!

Sorry this took so long, I have misread this a few times and I hope I can remedy this ASAP! Illness is left ambiguous, so you can imagine anything.

---

Caretaker is ready: they have their best outfit on, a small present ready for their friend's birthday and all that is left is to see if Whumpee is ready as well. They eye the phone for that confirmation call. However, ten minutes since Caretaker has finally gotten ready, the phone is quiet, sans the sounds of messages from the host asking about them.

Well, it looks like Caretaker is to make that call to Whumpee instead.

They wait for their friend to finally pick up, and when they do, they sound quite... Small. "Hello?" says Whumpee.

"We were supposed to leave ten minutes ago, what's taking you so long?" asks Caretaker between putting on shoes.

"Oh shit-" gasps Whumpee on the other end- "I'll be right there! Sorry-"

Minutes later, Whumpee arrives. They're paler than usual and their clothes look carelessly put on. "Sorry, I overslept. I just don't feel too good-"

"You're fine," Caretaker pats their shoulder, "At least you'll show up at the party."

"Maybe I should skip today. I think I'm getting sick," says Whumpee as they make their way to the car.

"Are you?"

"I feel... Gross," explains Whumpee to Caretaker. "My head hurts, and I feel feverish-"

"Its just nerves," Caretaker interrupts as they turn on the car. "You will be fine. Some booze might wake you up."

"I know it's not nerves! I know I don't feel tired and shaky with nerves."

Whumpee is glaring at them now, the passing lights lighting up their teary eyes. Caretaker feels guilty for offending them. "Look, I'll take you home if you don't feel well."

"Thanks for caring," Whumpee rolls their eyes and relaxes in the

---

The party is underway and Caretaker is having fun.

Whumpee trailed behind them, weakly saying hi and greeting the other guests and handing their own gift to the host. They slinked off into a corner nursing a drink and some meagre pieces off of the charcuterie board. But during the event, Caretaker loses track of Whumpee. Eventually, they excuse themselves for some fresh air and go to the yard.

They find Whumpee on the stairs, knees drawn up and curled into themselves.

"Dude, what's the matter?"

Whumpee weakly lifts their head up, "I don't feel good."

They sound ill. Hoarse. Weak. They look at Caretaker, tears welling in their eyes. "I told you I'm getting sick."

Their voice wavers as if they're gonna cry. Caretaker's heart twists uncomfortably as they watch them curl up again. Whumpee did tell them that they didn't feel well, and they ignored it. Why did they ignore it?

"Go back inside," Whumpee tells them. "I'll just go home now."

"Whumpee-"

"It was your idea to come here anyways," they weakly get up. "Go ahead and have fun."

Whumpee turns to leave. Caretaker's guilt turns into determination: they won't let their friend go home in that state. "Wait!" they call out. "I can take you home!"

Whumpee turns around.

"I'm sorry for not believing you," they say as they catch up with them. "I'll take you back to mine."

"Why?" Whumpee asks in disbelief. "You wanted me-"

"Fuck that, we're leaving. I saw how you pecked at that cheese and salami," Caretaker wraps their arm around Whumpee. "I'll just let our pal know you're not good. Alright?"

Whumpee nods, whimpering quietly at their friend's offer.

[dreaming-tonite]

Take this Jason Todd x reader inspired playlist I made because I sped through the entirety of Wayne Family Adventures in a day to procrastinate from studying

Selected lyrics from each song undercut

505 — Arctic Monkeys

But I crumble completely when you cry It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye

It's Only Sex — Car Seat Headrest

I wiped my tears on my face and the backs of my ears And said, "Now it's sweat, now it's sweat, it's sweat now"

Archilles Come Down — Gang of Youths

You are absent of cause Or excuse So self-indulgent And self-referential No audience could ever want you You crave the applause Yet hate the attention Then miss it, your act is a ruse

Crush — Ethel Cain

'Cause good men die too, so I'd rather be with you

Line Without a Hook — Ricky Montgomery

The wine is a-pounding on my back And I've found hope in a heart attack

Ode to a Conversation Stuck in Your Throat — Del Water Gap

I don't want to fight this anymore I just want to lay back And watch you pin me to the bed

In Undertow — Alvvays

You find a wave and try to hold on For as long as you can You made a mistake you'd like to erase And I understand

You Say I'm in Love — Banes World

You say I'm in love I say you're a fool Look away from me now I'll look away too

Strangers in the Street — The Fratellis, P.P. Arnold

Darling come the day when your nightmares fall I'll be on the first plane home and we'll outrun them all

or alternatively

Darling come the day it's too much to breathe I'll hold this space for you and I won't let you leave

Glass in the park — Alex Turner

And I'll wait for you As if I'm waiting for the stone to stop I've heard them talking About how I'm gonna put you off

Bug Like an Angel — Mitski

Did you go and make promises you can't keep? Well, when ya break them, they break you right back Amateur mistake You can take it from me

Savoir Complex — Phoebe Bridgers

All the bad dreams that you hide, Show me yours, I'll show you mine

Hold You Now — Vampire Weekend ft. Danielle Haim

This ain't the end of nothing much, it's just another round I can't carry you forever, but I can hold you now

Here It Comes (The Road) Let's Go — Spiritualized

You can see my house from here And the way my heart is beating You'll hear the sound It'll wake the sleeping

Apocalypse — Cigarettes After Sex

When you're all alone I'll reach for you When you're feelin' low I'll be there too

First Day of My Life — Bright Eyes

I refuse to pick a single verse, this entire song hits

Hearts Aglow — Weyes Blood

Hearts aglow You can't control hearts aglow

[c-h-pictures]

TCG Boys' Night but everyone's a little tipsy

Kaveh: Oh and uhh... The guy that lives down the road and owns a spaniel - what's his name?

Alhaitham: I have no idea who you're talking about.

Cyno: Daniel.

Tighnari, barely conscious: Oh, yeah, I know Daniel - wh - no! Shut up!

-

Kaveh: *coughing violently for no apparant reason*

Alhaitham: *talking over him*

-

Tighnari: Did you know there's a mind control fungus called -

Cyno: Cordyceps, we know, you bring it up every other conversation.

Tighnari: AND I WILL KEEP DOING SO UNTIL A HUMAN RENDITION OF IT EVOLVES AND IT TAKES OVER YOUR BRAIN SPECIFICALLY!

Kaveh: Why are you so mad today?

Tighnari: I was up all night because of an argument I wasn't even involved in.

-

Cyno: Tighnari! We just got out, where are you hiding?

Tighnari: *face down on the table*

Kaveh: Is he alive?

Alhaitham: *drops a workbook on Tighnari's back*

Tighnari: Mmmm...

Alhaitham: Yes.

-

Tighnari, sat behind the art stand at the arts & culture festival: Am I even allowed to be here? I'm not on the register for helping out.

Kaveh: You're my friend and I'm the organiser, it's fine. I'll let you sit underneath it and hide from the world if you need. And if you want to contribute to the stall, I can teach you how to make people's names fancy.

Tighnari: I don't want to be in the building - Cyno, stop taking all of the baklava, it's not for you.

Cyno: I'm not running any of the stalls, so technically it is. We'll make a deal, you'll stop getting mad at me for eating it and I'll cover for you skipping Maths.

Tighnari: I never mentioned skipping Maths.

Cyno: You look like you're about to cry and Maths is your hardest. And you've missed 3 homeworks that I know still aren't done.

Alhaitham, also eating from the food stand: I'm not coming up with an excuse for Kaveh skipping Maths.

Kaveh: How dare you?

-

[The day after the intruder alarm test interrupted a lesson]

Cyno: How are you after yesterday?

Tighnari: I'm only here because we're doing a practical, if we weren't, I'd be working from home.

Cyno, patting him: Okay.

-

Tighnari, elbows on the table, glaring at the knife in Cyno's hand: Fuck you. You're shit. It's an onion. Why can't you cut a fucking onion?

Tighnari: Kaveh! Are you done with your knife?

Kaveh: No.

Tighnari: All you're doing is scraping it into the beaker, you can use your finger for that! Give!

Kaveh, scared: Okay.

Tighnari, taking the other half of the onion: Archons, this one's shit too. I could cut this faster with my fingertips. And I do mean the actual skinned padded part.

Cyno: Never use skinned in that context again, that was a horrendous visual.

-

Fire alarm goes off

Tighnari:

Tighnari: I'm going to kill the person that decided to test these the day after each other.

Cyno: Don't say that with a knife in your hand!

Tighnari: This knife won't do shit to a human!

-

Tighnari: We should've brought the onion and the cuttings boards with us. Wait for them to sort things out, sit in the corner of the car park cutting on the ground.

Cyno: We wouldn't have been allowed to.

Tighnari: What were they gonna do? Tell us to go back into the building?

Alhaitham, watching the timer on his phone: Ours is already in the water bath.

Tighnari: How? Your knife was just as shit as ours.

Kaveh: We gave up after getting a quater of the onion cut.

Cyno: Why didn't we do that?

Tighnari: Because I'm now adamant to cut a whole onion with these knives to prove that they could've done it.

-

Tighnari: Why are they making us go through reception? Why can't we just - *realisation* shit, they're checking IDs.

Cyno: Why 'shit'?

Tighnari: I have my ID over my jacket because I don't like the feel of it against my neck. The jacket which I took off to put the lab coat on.

Alhaitham: Did you leave your ID in class?

Tighnari: Yeah...

Alhaitham: Ah, hope they don't hold you back for too long.

Kaveh: ...

Alhaitham: Did you leave yours as well?

Kaveh: Yep.

Alhaitham: Well, that's your issue.

[ibubblesunoo]

welcome to yohan's corner 🎸

LOADING CHAT 💬 . . .

loading complete ✅

chat room #1

enter key: #1228

[user : yohan has entered the chat room]

[user : 404 has entered the chat room]

[yohan]

do you think they're gonna read this?

[404]

depends if they have the time to waste…

[yohan]

I'm not that boring am I?

[404]

it really just depends on the day sometimes your alright

[yohan]

well now that I have them here what do I talk about?

[404]

tell them about yourself you idiot

[yohan]

about myself?… well my name is yohan

[404]

yeah no shit they can see it as your chat name talk about the stuff they don't know about you

[yohan]

oh like the fact I'm trans and use he/him pronouns?

[404]

now your understanding it wasn't so hard wasn't it

[yohan]

well I'm also bisexual… what else I guess I'm emo and love the band 5 seconds of summer

[404]

god please don't get into a 5sos rabbit hole again I couldn't get you to stop talking about them last time you mentioned that band

[yohan]

hey it's not my fault they're a good band! I've loved them ever since 2011 and if you must know my favorite song is voodoo doll my favorite member is calum my second fav member is a tie between Michael and Luke

[404]

oh god please stop I don't need to hear more shit about this band

[yohan]

did you know I own both 5SOS5 and calm on cassette and I own every main album on cd, I also own the how did we end up here documentary on dvd

[404]

hey I heard you also like kpop isn't that right? I mean you don't have sunoo in your username for nothing

[yohan]

oh yeah I do like kpop! my older sister got me into it in 2016 the first song other than gangnam style that I heard from the genre was stop stop it by got7 and they actually became the first kpop group I ended up stanning. I remember listening to the identify album on loop so much that I think I know every song front to back, and if you want to know my favorite kpop song of all time is Russian roulette by red velvet my favorite girl group, my favorite boy by the way group is enhypen stanning them since watching I-land which was so traumatic by the way made me cry at the end and hearing into the I-land still makes me tear up a little

[404]

ok hearing you talk about kpop is just as worse as hearing you talk about 5sos… who knew you had all that shit to ramble on about

[yohan]

and I'm not even done with 5sos. I own livesos and the feeling of falling upwards on cd as well, I also have the she looks so perfect ep on cd and hope to get the don't stop ep on cd at some point because try hard is too good not to have on physical media

[404]

enough about those Australian men! god one more word about 5sos and I might block you

[yohan]

oh well then I guess I can talk about idk how I like yo-kai watch? If there's even still a fandom for that or how about beyblade! The x series just came out and I'm so happy the beys are made by tomy because I'm sorry some hasbro beys suck ass

[404]

not your dead fandom interests anything but that! your basically purposely talking to a brick wall at this point

[yohan]

excuse you! beyblade still has a pretty decent community just go look up beyblade on YouTube right now and you'll find countless YouTubers who base themselves on beyblades and still upload to this day!

[404]

ok maybe beyblades aren't as much of a dead fandom as I thought but still there's not gonna be one reading this now you know

[yohan]

well then I'll talk about monster high! and how I currently own ten g3 dolls and how I want to own g1 dolls eventually

[404]

I honestly forgot monster high got brought back

[yohan]

yeah and it's doing pretty well wouldn't say amazing but well enough to make Mattel want to make more g3 dolls

[404]

why'd you sent me this sonic post? you know I don't have a clue about sonic the hedgehog and it's weird lore

[yohan]

shadow reminds me of you

[404]

I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult

[yohan]

it was definitely a compliment

[404]

skeptical but ok…

[yohan]

now that you mention video games with lore I couldn't help but bring up kingdom hearts!! I only have amazing things to say about that series

[404]

ok I will not lie kingdom hearts is a great series and the story is very interesting

[yohan]

oh my god I almost forgot about fnaf!!

[404]

let's save all the fnaf talk for when the second movie comes out

[yohan]

have I mentioned Sanrio yet and how my favorite character is pompompurin?

[404]

you have now

[yohan]

do they know my favorite Disney movie is big hero 6?

[404]

again they know now…

[yohan]

do they know my favorite aesthetic is frutiger aero? and that I based my carrd off of it?

[404]

they do now!

[yohan]

oh I know for sure they don't know my favorite fruit is a strawberry and how I live for strawberry milk

[404]

I don't know how you can drink and eat strawberries all the time without getting sick of it

[yohan]

I'm surprised my body hasn't tried to reject it yet from how much I consumed strawberries

[404]

what's your favorite flower?

[yohan]

cherry blossoms!! I even made a mini Lego cherry blossom bonsai tree

[404]

don't you play splatoon?

[yohan]

yup! I even own the limited edition splatoon 3 switch oled model

[404]

rich motherfucker…

[yohan]

says the one who just bought themselves the iPhone 16 even though their iPhone 15 worked just fine but they needed the new one

[404]

the colors of the 16 looked cute! stop hating loser

[yohan]

whatever you say

[404]

anything you want to close out this chat room with?

[yohan]

I hope whoever reads this is having a good day know your loved and respected and if anyone treats you badly know you have a home right here with us <3

[404]

come visit us anytime ~

[yohan]

peace out!

[user : 404 has logged out]

[user: yohan has logged out]

chat room is now closed !

[waywardxrhea]

Part Fifty-One: Two Hearts, Just You and Me

[slow burn romance between Steve Rogers and SHIELD agent Emma Baker]

Warnings: 18+, contains humor, fluff, mental health, family trauma, romance, angst, language, violence.

installment list

Word count: 2.6k

Steve and Emma's wedding day finally arrives!

A few more weeks pass and it's finally the big day. Emma is a nervous wreck, pacing around her old bedroom while Maria and Natasha are in the small bathroom getting themselves ready before helping Emma get ready for the ceremony.

"Em, what's up? You are way too stressed right now," Maria says as she emerges into the bedroom all dolled up.

Emma stops her pacing and sighs, telling her, "It's just that Wanda still hasn't answered any of my calls, texts, or anything in the last few weeks about the wedding. I got more of a response from Groot than I have her and it's worrying me... And then there's the whole thing about you and Fury having to go off-world soon... Then you know there's kinda the whole thing where I'm getting married to the love of my life today, that's a thing that's happening..."

"Emma!" Maria laughs, putting her hands on her friend's shoulders to stop her rambling. "First of all, I'm sure Wanda is fine, she's just dealing with her grief and if that means spending time by herself for a while, that's how it is. You can't change it. I dealt with the same feeling when you went missing, but trust me it'll be okay. Just breathe."

"Okay. Right. She's just dealing with things. I had five years to deal with my feelings, she just needs time," Emma says as she breathes in and out with Maria.

"And about the whole going off-world thing, I am really sorry to drop that on you on such short notice, but when duty calls you know the drill."

"Totally. I'm just glad you're both here for the wedding."

"See, there's that optimism," Maria says softly, a smile on her lips.

"Just like Steve," Nat says as she makes her way out of the bathroom.

Maria lets out a low whistle and Emma says, "Well I'll be damned, I think you're gonna outdress me."

"Nonsense. It's your day, you're the star," Nat tells her. "That dress we picked out is gonna take his breath away, promise."

"Thank you," Emma says as she blows a breath out, still trying to calm her nerves.

Maria looks at her phone for the time and says, "It's getting close, are you ready to get dressed?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," Emma replies with a smile.

Once Emma has her makeup and hair done and is in the dress, Maria carefully dabs some tears from the corners of her eyes at the sight of her friend. "Oh Maria, don't do that, you'll make me cry too," Emma tells her as she gives her a hug.

"Sorry, I'm just happy for you. To think that when I met you, you had sworn off love after your last breakup and now you're here getting married!"

"I'm just really happy I gave it another chance," Emma says. She wanders over to her dresser and grabs something before asking, "Hey, can you put this necklace on me?"

"Sure," Maria replies as she takes the necklace from Emma. She studies it for a second before asking, "Wasn't this Grammie's?"

Emma nods as she takes a breath and lets it out before saying, "Even though she can't be here I'm happy I have the necklace."

"How'd you get it?" Maria asks as she fastens it around Emma's neck.

"Well you see, I was the guinea pig with the time machine that was used to bring your ass back," Emma tells her with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

"Oh well excuse me Miss Time Travel," Maria laughs. "So how did that work? Getting the necklace and all?"

"Well I went back to...to that day and I was with her until her last breath. It's what I wanted, so when I got the opportunity to see her again, I jumped at the chance... I just wish she could be here now."

"I know, Em," Maria replies quietly before gently rubbing Emma's shoulders comfortingly.

"Well enough being sad, I don't have time to ruin my makeup," Emma says with a laugh.

She takes a deep breath and turns to Natasha, asking, "Hey can you go get Sam for me? I need to ask him something."

A little while later, the chairs by the dock are filled with people whom Emma and Steve have met throughout the years. Tony sits with his family, Thor sits with the Guardians, Banner takes up a few chairs himself, Clint's whole family is there along with Natasha's sister Yelena, Scott is there with his family and the Van Dynes, and Shuri sits next to T'Challa both dressed to the nines in the finest Wakandan silk. A few others from the town, work, and family friends are also in attendance. Beside the memory table sits a few empty seats for the spirits of those they lost along the way like Grammie and Gramps as well as Steve's mom and Vision. Above everyone in the sky is Emma's drone SAM flying about getting footage of the wedding so they can have a good memory to look back at after all of this is over.

Steve stands up front with Fury who is taking up the position of the officiate, Bucky as his best man, and Sam as a groomsman. Standing opposite them are Maria and Natasha, all waiting for Emma to make her appearance. After everyone is seated, Sam takes a breath and whispers to Steve, "I'll be right back."

Before Sam can leave, Steve chuckles and says, "Sam I'm supposed to be the nervous one here, not you!"

"I'm not nervous there's just something I gotta do," Sam tells him and pats his back before running up the aisle and into the lodge.

From beside Steve, Fury leans over and asks, "Are you nervous?"

"As all hell, but in the best possible way," Steve tells him with a smile. After this, he leans over to Bucky and asks, "Do you know where Sam went?"

"You'll see," Bucky replies with a smile and a pat on the back as the music starts to play, a recording of Emma playing a 40s jazz version of Here Comes the Bride.

The door to the lodge opens and out comes Emma with her arm linked with Sam's. "Thank you for walking me down the aisle," Emma whispers as they come out of the door.

"Anything for you," Sam says with a smile as they come into view.

Emma can't help the huge smile on her face seeing Steve all dressed up in a sharp tuxedo. At the front, Steve smiles from ear to ear as well and wipes a few tears from his eye after seeing Emma and having the moment sink in.

Once Sam and Emma reach the altar, Fury asks, "Now, Sam, do you support Emma in her marriage to Steve today?"

Sam smiles and says, "Yes sir."

Fury smiles a rare genuine smile and says, "Then let's begin."

Steve takes Emma's hands in his and before Fury can start speaking, he whispers, "Wow you look...stunning!"

"As do you, my love," Emma whispers back, trying not to cry and ruin her makeup.

From beside the pair, Fury pulls up his book that everyone helped put together for the ceremony and begins speaking. "When it comes to finding that special person in your life, sometimes you just know. As we all bear witness to this union of Steve and Emma we can all see that to be true. Now, it took them years to finally grow up and stop dodging their feelings, but I think we can all agree that we're glad they did."

There's a small bit of laughter from the little audience at the joke before Fury continues on with, "Many stories we read and shows we watch like to depict love at first sight, but that isn't how it was with these two. Steve and Emma's relationship is built on a friendship that had been through some tough times but only grew stronger because of it. So instead of calling it love at first sight, I'd like to call it love at each sighting because that's what it is between these two. Their love grows stronger for each other every day and will continue for all their years to come."

Sam clears his throat and says, "Amen to that!"

Steve and Emma smile wide, neither breaking the other's gaze, content in the presence of one another while listening to Fury continue his speech. "Now it's time for the declaration of intent, so I will ask, does anyone here object to this marriage? It's time to speak now or forever hold your peace and whatnot."

This earns a laugh from everyone and when no one says anything, Natasha mumbles, "That's what I thought..."

"Great, so now it is time to begin joining these two together with all of you as a witness to their love and commitment to each other." Fury turns to Steve and asks, "Steve, do you take Emma to be the one? The one you hold above all others, the one you hold in the highest regard, the one you hold when she needs to be held, and the one you hold first and foremost in your heart and soul?"

Joy fills Steve as he smiles and nods. "I do."

Fury nods and turns to Emma, asking, "Emma, do you take Steve to be the one? The one you hold above all others, the one you hold in the highest regard, the one you hold when he needs to be held, and the one you hold first and foremost in your heart and soul?"

Emma nods quickly, and whispers, "I do."

Fury then turns to Bucky and asks, "May I please see the wedding rings?"

"You may," Bucky replies and pulls the box holding them out of his pocket.

Fury opens the box and says, "See now, these rings have no end much like your love for each other has no end. These rings are made of the strongest metal on the planet and will be able to withstand whatever life throws your way much like your love will. As I understand, the two of you have your own vows written?"

"We do," Steve says.

"The stage is yours then," Fury tells him.

Steve clears his throat and squeezes Emma's hands before starting. "Emma... I don't even know where to start. I am so thankful to have had the chance to meet you. You are one of the hardest-working and most dedicated people I've ever met. You're also the kindest, most caring, and most loving person in the world. Knowing what you've been through in life it sometimes blows my mind how much you still trust in the world and its people, but that just shows how beautiful your soul is. When I came out of the ice, you helped this scared, paranoid, and confused man understand his new world and I'm so happy it was you. You took your time with me, helped me understand things when they weren't clicking, and just wanted to help me feel happy and at home. For that I'm grateful, but what I'm more grateful for is the friendship that came out of that chance meeting. That friendship that turned into what we have now, a love that I have and will put my life on the line for again and again because I couldn't stand to be in a world without you Emma. So after all these years, all these trials and battles we've been through together, I just want you. With this ring I take you, Emma, to be my wife. I promise to have you and to hold you, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part." By the end of Steve's speech, he has a few tears of happiness falling from his eyes as he slips the wedding band on Emma's finger.

In the audience, many people sit with tissues in hand wiping tears away. Emma wipes away a few tears from her own eyes at Steve's words and says, "Wow, now I'm not sure I'll make it through my vows."

"You've got this," Steve whispers to her with an encouraging squeeze of her hands.

This helps Emma regain her composure and she starts with, "Steve... It took me forever trying to figure out what I wanted to say to you for this moment. I probably have about a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost decided on today, just ask Bucky."

"It's true, she almost hit me with one," Bucky agrees with a chuckle.

This makes some people laugh before Emma continues on with her vows. "Point is, I write for a living, and even with all my years of putting the right words together, I still couldn't figure out the best ones for the perfect man standing in front of me. I did give it my best shot though, so here it goes: To the man standing in front of me. My rock, my light in the dark, the one that guides me through the tough times when I thought I wouldn't make it through, I love you. More than anything. Before I met you I thought I knew what love was. I was skeptical, afraid, and hurt by it. Then I met the guy who came out of that ice and warmed my heart into loving again. You showed me that love isn't supposed to hurt or be one-sided, but it's supposed to heal you, protect you, and care for you. The past five years I won't lie were some of the hardest times I've ever experienced, and without you being there by my side I wouldn't be standing here right now. You kept me going when I thought I couldn't, you kept up that giddy optimism that I love so much, and most importantly you were simply there for me when I needed someone to lean on. Life may not always be perfect, but with you by my side, I know that we'll always take it on together and get through anything. So that being said, with this ring, I take you, Steve, to be my husband. To have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part." Emma can't help the shaking in her hands as she tries to slip the ring on Steve's finger. He smiles as he helps steady her hand to get the ring on.

Fury subtly wipes a tear from his eye before saying, "With that being said, I will end with this sentiment to hold on to. Love is not static. Much like everything in life it's subject to change. The love you have for each other today is not the love you held for each other when you first met nor will it be the same love that you will experience in one, five, ten, hell even fifty years, but the love will always be yours. Because love is what memories you make together and the history you have with one another and as time goes on, those will change with your shared experiences. You two make sure to love each other every day and never give up on one another okay? So by the power vested in me by the state of New York, I pronounce you husband and wife. Steve, you may kiss your bride."

Joy radiates from both Steve and Emma as he takes her into his arms to kiss her gently. The crowd cheers and laughs as Emma pulls Steve closer, deepening the kiss. The two laugh as they pull away from one another, resting their foreheads together.

Emma looks deep into Steve's eyes and whispers, "Well hello there Mr. Rogers..."

"Hello to you too... Mrs. Rogers," Steve whispers before pulling her in for another kiss.

a/n: and just like that we have come to the end of the story! it's kinda bitter-sweet isn't it? this story has brought me so much joy, laughter, sadness, frustration, and most importantly love as cheesy as that sounds. it helped me expand my writing abilities and helped me escape reality for a while when all i needed was a world that i knew the ending to. it was great getting to know Emma as she introduced herself to me in this process and i can't wait for y'all to meet my other characters that i have brewing for my other stories (particularly Julianne in my Daredevil story, she's great). so until next time.

love always and excelsior!

~Brooke

taglist: @mrsevans90

[snwusberry]

warning(s): language

masterlist | next

THIS IS FICTION AND DOESN'T DEPICT THE ACTUAL PEOPLE IRL

♧ kaya's point of view ♧

fuck the festive season.

thank you for your time.

ever since miyoung decided to pitch in the idea of having a secret santa for the family 2 years ago, it's been a mission and a half trying to enjoy christmas. especially because i don't know what in the fuck to buy mr choi.

anyway, hayoon dragged us to the mall because poor thing hasn't gone out for leisure ever since she fell pregnant in the beginning of the year. she finally popped that little fucker out in october but she's been so busy working and being a mother that she barely got any down time to truly relax and go out for leisure, she's been making so many plans to go out and have a good time all while yeonjun stays home with the baby.

we're currently staying a few weeks at the choi household where our partner's parents are living.

they have 5 kids which are all men and three of them are in stable relationships, two of which are married.

the first to get married being yeonjun who got married to hayoon 4 years ago, second being jongho who's married to miyoung, they got married last year.

the other three left are beomgyu, my boyfriend of 4 years, san and soobin.

i met beomgyu at yeonjun's wedding. my brothers who are friends with the choi brothers were invited and brought me along because i would've been home alone.

it was a beautiful, outdoor ceremony taking place at a gorgeous chapel and there sat beomgyu looking glorious right in front.

i knew what i had to do so i approached him during the reception. i thought it would be just a failed attempt but he ended up ditching the bridesmaid he was paired with and spent pretty much the whole night with me much to my brother's dismay.

he's friends with beomgyu so he was a bit skeptical and then yeosang was against me having a relationship all in all, not at all happy with the whole arrangement. he warmed up to him eventually though so it's all good.

"hayoon, you've been looking at baby outfits the entire day." miyoung

♧ beomgyu's point of view ♧

okay deep breath, you got this.

what exactly? well i'm glad you asked even though you literally didn't. i'm planning on proposing to the girl of my dreams and nightmares depending on what mood i catch her in and as corny as it sounds, i've never felt happier nor have i see myself as happy as i am with her.

"bro relax." yeonjun tells me from where he's sitting, a baby in his arms that he's feeding literal air because there is nothing in that bottle.

"how can i? what if she says no or she's not ready? or what if she thinks it's rushed and breaks up with me?" i respond with nothing but panic and worry in my voice.

"or... get this right? she says yes." soobin asks in the corner.

"i can't do this guys." i say, plopping myself down on the couch.

"that's because you're already telling yourself everything will go wrong. you need to calm down."

"that's because everything went well for you and you're happily married. what about me?"

"man, what about you?" yeonjun says. "you already planned everything and asked her to cancel her plans for this. don't be a little pussy, everything will go according to plan, okay?"

the baby - minji, who is yeonjun and hayoon's daughter -starts crying hysterically and he excuses himself to go calm her down since her mother is out somewhere. now i'm left with soobin who's also about to give me the same story yeonjun did.

"just don't think too much okay? by the end of the day you'll see we were right when you come back home with your fiancée."

"change of plans, no one's proposing." jongho walks in with san behind him.

"what do you mean?"

"san would you like to share with the class?"

"no i'm good."

"he lost the ring."

"WHAT?"

footnote: i'm gonna be so real with you guys, there's gonna be a lot of pov changes throughout this. theres a reason i swear 😭. please bare with me

[reptileenthusiastt]

Also I'm pretty sure Nuzi is gonna be Canon (if isn't already) and to be honest I really don't care, ship whatever you want, just as long as it isn't morally wrong. I'm a multishipper and I couldn't care less that N and V (probably) won't end up together, because, believe it or not, I also ship Vizzy, so I'll still hold out hope for that (though that's also kind of unlikely since V SACRIFICED HERSELF), plus I don't have anything against Nuzi.

Moral of the story: ship what you want, I don't care.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go cry in the corner because things aren't looking good for my favorite character

Just watched Murder Drones episode 6, I wanna cry, I did not expect Murder Drones to ever make me want to cry but it did. Wow

[jackharkness]

There's one scene in The Pacific that makes me cry like an idiot everytime I watch it and it's the part in Home when Eugene has nightmares. It gets me every. goddamn. time.

[favoritejohn]

johnny's live today: a story told through filters and kissy faces

[broodyjc]

Six Degrees Of Separation

First, you think the worst is a broken heart What's gonna kill you is the second part And the third, is when your world splits down the middle And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself Fifth, you see them out with someone else And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little

Or

Alex and Maggie break up, but Sam is there when she still needs to heal on her own

Also here on AO3

First, You Think The Worst Is The Broken Heart

Liberosis.

The desire to care less about things.

**

Alex was used to pain and its multiple facets. Physical, mental, emotional. It doesn’t mean it hurts any less when it happens again, and again, and again. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t lose her breath, that her eyes don’t burn, that her heart doesn’t clench in her chest as if anchoring itself to whatever it can grab to prevent itself from leaving for good.

To stop caring. To stop hurting.

It would be too easy. Too easy makes no sense in the real world. Too easy is not a reality.

So, it hurts. More and more each passing time. Or, maybe, it hurts less and she just couldn’t compare each loss, each moment. They all have taken their fair share from Alex, from her kindness, from her happiness, from herself.

Losing her father came first. Perhaps, the loss itself wasn’t what hurt most, maybe it wasn’t the realization that her family was smaller then. Perhaps, the most painful memory was having to stare at her mother’s eyes, and listen to the words delivered by someone who was supposed to protect her from everything, from someone who should never be the one to inflict pain.

But it had come from Eliza. And her father never came back.

Until a year ago, Alex had hoped her father would someday come through the front door, first from her mother’s house, then from the dorm she had shared through all the years she spent at college, then from her apartment. None of that happened. Logically, Alex knew it would never happen. But it did. And Alex wished it hadn’t.

The pain was bigger than she had imagined. It was more than she could handle. And it became just another one of those things she compartmentalized, something she knew she someday would have to deal with but, at the moment, wasn’t so important. Until it came a day where it just wasn’t all that important anymore. Like that, it was forgotten.

(Maybe, if she didn’t cope like this, her love life would’ve been way easier.)

Of course, becoming an agent was next. Pain became familiar, a feeling she never thought she could handle became a constant to look forward to everyday. Physical pain meant nothing, physical pain was momentary, a winter breeze that pierced through her skin to go away seconds later.

Alex would take physical pain over any other without a second of hesitation.

Seeing her sister get hurt stirred something inside her she never thought she would feel. It left a bad taste in her mouth, a sinking feeling in her stomach, her limbs aching to do anything, everything to keep Kara away. To keep Kara safe. It was instinct, to protect a loved one, to be able to take all their pain and pour into oneself.

She could only watch. And hope. Growing frustration deep inside her, clenched fists and tears she refused to acknowledge. Pain built from frustration was, by far, the worse. Nothing could compare to the inability to not be able to help, to protect.

Heartbreak was introduced to her shortly after.

Because heartbreak came in form of dazzlingly smile and defined dimples. It came in form of shared laughter, light banter, late nights, passion, love. Love.

Heartbreak came in form of Maggie Sawyer and beautiful, pleading eyes, charm exhaling from every gesture, every word.

Alex lost herself. There was no other definition to explain what had happened. Alex had taken her heart out and handed it willingly, no matter the consequences. As Maggie took it, in trembling hands and hesitant grasp, Alex believed her, believed them, believed it could work.

Heartbreak hurt so much because she was left with her heart back in her hands, a heart that had been under someone else’s care, someone who would look after it, but the heartbreak came with an explanation. Their care was not the same, the way they cared wasn’t enough, it wasn’t the same energy Alex had put into it, and that was were the pain laid. That was the source of a heartbreak.

Her heart was given back to her, a little rough on the edges, a little darker, less vivid, less open.

(A little broken.

A lot broken.)

Alex had thought, Alex was sure, that after so much pain she went through, this time would be just like it.

Was she wrong.

Because she had a piece of herself back but not like the shape it had when it left. It was fitting a ball into a cube-shaped box. Some part of Alex was lost, a part she had given to someone else, in hope they would keep it and care for it.

Because Alex could have her heart back, but it didn’t mean she had herself back. From getting a piece of herself from the past, it didn’t mean she, herself, would go back to that place. It took time. Adjustment. Pain.

So much pain.

Heartbreaks were the worse.

Maggie, big, brown eyes stares at her apologetically, eyes saying the words her mind though but her mouth wouldn’t produce, both their hands closed around the confirmation of the end.

(Alex’s heart.)

As Maggie leaves, Alex has to keep standing, arm stretched out, small piece of metal burning in her hand and a big hole on her chest aching to get what it had relinquished so many months ago.

See you around, Danvers.

She wishes she cared less about thing, so maybe, just maybe, the ache on her chest would be a little weaker, that her heart would heal faster. It didn’t worked that way. Alex cared, too much for her own good.

(Alex finds out the hole where her heart used to beat could be filled by cheap alcohol as her heart healed on the outside, shaping itself back into the form it had before, to be able to go back and complete Alex once more.

Healthy coping was never one of her best skills.)

What’s Gonna Kill You Is The Second Part

Énouement.

The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

**

“You okay?”

At what level?

There is a fairly high number of ways she could answer it in the end, the question just wide-ranging enough to enable a variety to the deepness of the response. The intonation of the question, the delicacy of how it’s delivered, the deep care laced through every syllable.

The numerous ways she could, she should, she was expected to, answer tied intimately to how it was delivered.

You okay?

Most of the times, she would lie. Compartmentalize, store it away so she could deal with her feelings some other time, until some other time never came. It was what was expected, after all.

It was how adult interaction went anyways. No one cared enough to listen, to really listen, even when all they got was a lie. The question and, subsequently, all of its variations were something we were trained from the very beginning to share the words the other person was expecting to hear.

Never the truth. The truth was painful, the truth brought obstacles, the truth was a break from the norm. No one wanted that.

And lying was easy, because they never cared enough to press. Like that, no matter how many times a day she heard it, it never bothered. Not in the slightest. Because she wasn’t expected to share the beautifully harsh truth.

You okay?

And maybe, there was a possibility there would be a crack in her willpower, when the question would come too early and she hadn’t had a chance to put her feelings away yet.

In a moment of inattention, her mouth would betray her brain, her tongue curling around a single word that would bring worry, pity, to someone’s eyes and it wouldn’t matter how genuine the emotion was, it would be there and she would need a way to cover it up.

Over the years, she had mastered the tight smiles, just convincing enough to make even the most stubborn ones drop whatever it was. Over the years, Alex became good in showing nothing but what she wanted other people to see, all of the potential cracks being reinforced.

So far, it had gotten her really far, avoiding conversations she wasn’t ready for yet and, most likely, wouldn’t be ready for a very long time.

You okay?

And, perhaps, it was how soft the voice sounded, how open brown eyes were as if they saw her, as if they cared in the middle of all the confusion and madness that surrounded them they had the time to settle into Alex, realized she hadn’t been her usual self and cared enough to ask about it.

It was something Alex couldn’t quite place her head around.

Call it a motherly instinct, developed once she was supposed to understand and predict every need of a completely dependable human being.

Call it a Sam Arias thing, a person Alex could not have shared more than twenty words with and yet went out of her way to make sure things were alright. Genuine care. What a foreign concept.

Call it a blurry vision, an aching chest, half a bottle of scotch poured into her glass through the night, a numb, constant feeling settling deep in her bones, her need to let go of some things before they consumed her.

Taking the rest of her drink in one go, her eyes settle on Sam (more like, Sam’s general direction), light brown hair falling in waves around her shoulders, arms wrapped around her torso, fingers tucked inside the sleeves of her sweater.

She laughs and it’s bitter, it’s low, it makes the worry grow right in front of her. Sam approaches, head tilted to the side and eyes following Alex’s drunken movements, how her hand comes up to rub at her eyes, until it settles at the back of her neck.

Alex never thought she could break. But the burning in her eyes were proof enough all it took was a little caring, a little effort. A little Sam.

“Maggie stopped by at the apartment today.”

The apartment, not mine. Impersonal. Trying to detach herself from the event. As if, sharing it with Maggie once, making it theirs for a while had ended every possibility of it becoming hers again someday.

And she thinks she already shared too much, because apart from saying things were over, she never got into much detail. There was no need for such thing. Because if it was over what good would it do to go over and over something that would only hurt her in the end?

Compartmentalize.

Or, maybe, not saying anything was what kept her together for so long and, that, she didn’t want to change. Problem is, sometimes feelings were gathered for so long all it takes is a feather to make it spill.

Maggie leaving, Maggie coming back, Maggie so close to her but not hers was not a feather. It was a brick wall. And Alex, god, Alex was so close already to spilling that, when it came, it broke her completely.

Later, Alex would blame everything that happened on her inability of keeping her mouth shut. The idealistic idea of opening up to a complete stranger, to shout your problems to a face she would never see again, to someone who she wasn’t close to, to someone who wasn’t supposed to care. The glasses and more glasses of scotch, making her tongue loose, and her filter wider. The need to let it all out, so she could find more space to bottle everything up again.

(The need to be validated, the need to share, the need to be vulnerable after being the strong one for years to end.)

“She still had some things back there and she just showed up, you know? She called, said she was in town for the job and asked, I didn’t know how to say no. And she was just trying to act like we were in the beginning, as friends, like she didn’t break my heart, it was all too much. Seeing her leave again… no one tells you how it hurts more than the first time.”

Alex doesn’t know when Sam got so close to her, how her warmth moves through the small space shared between them, enveloping Alex in an atmosphere she isn’t actually sure she knows how to breath. She finds she doesn’t mind. It’s hard not to feel safe, not to feel like she can be vulnerable when there’s something so comforting next to her, inciting her to let go, to continue, to share. Because she is going to be there to keep her from hurting further.

“When I met her, I knew she was going to” Sam’s hand lurches forward, wrapping ever so gently around her forearm, the same one which its hand is holding the empty glass, and it is probably the longest Alex went without drinking for the past two months. “she was… everything. Am I bad for wishing I could tell my old self how it turns out? So I could do things differently, to hurt less?”

“No, it makes you human, but we have to accept that there are things we cannot prevent.” Her free hand comes up, thumb brushing against her cheek, retracting the tear Alex refused to acknowledge, and Sam smiles. It’s the first smile she has ever seen on her face and, even if it’s a sad, knowing one, it’s beautiful. Like her. “But I also think that once it happens and it’s over, we have to take our time to understand that they weren’t our book. Just a few chapters.”

The intensity of her gaze makes Alex’s head spin and she has to ground herself to the place they are. The small balcony of Kara’s apartment. Her eyes set into the floor, refusing to look up. Because she doesn’t feel creaks anymore, she feels holes spouting whatever it was inside for so long. It’s scary. It’s the scariest.

There’s a loud crash from somewhere inside the apartment, followed by laughter mixed with concerned words. Sam whips her head around to the source of the noise, her hand leaves its place against Alex’s arm and cheek, the contact being missed the moment it’s gone, and whatever bubble they inserted themselves into is over.

Fragile like that.

Sam only throws Alex one apologetic smile before going back inside, leaving her to watch her retracting form with a burning sensation in her face, one that Alex’s tries and tries to convince herself was not because of a tender hand.

“Fuck.” Alex mutters to the empty balcony, cold air blowing against her face.

She wants another drink.

And The Third, Is When Your World Splits Down The Middle

Kenopsia.

The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.

**

On some rare times, Alex wished to have Kara’s invulnerability. The way her muscles ached after training was not something she wanted to give up on any time soon, but she envies her sister on some instances.

She too would like to punch holes through concrete blocks when she was frustrated, or fucking pissed, which was an emotion she’s been feeling a lot lately. Self control, in that moments, was not something she actually had, a notion that went against everything she had ever learned.

Rationally she knew it was nothing but an aggravation of a feeling, but pissed was too light for what she felt, so it needed more. There were no words to put what she felt in, she could only feel and never be able to explain, to rationalize and move on, not that she ever wanted. Because she was finding out that being pissed, being angry, was an easier way to deal with the world, to deal with her emotions.

Fucking pissed, and it only hurt her physically, the lack of self control growing and the rage threatening to combust.

Alex stares at her recently bruised knuckles, the wounds still fresh and red, open. Bleeding. She doesn’t feel them now, but she knows, even with all the alcohol running through her veins, that it’s only a matter of time. Tomorrow. It is going to be a bitch. Tomorrow, as of today, she is going to wish she had Kara’s invulnerability, so she could physically do what her emotions couldn’t. Like punch a wall at two in the morning, drunker than she’s ever been.

She brings the bottle of whiskey to her lips only to realize it is empty, for how long she doesn’t know, maybe for as long as she’s been sitting at her couch, ever since she got hurt in a desperate act of frustration.

A little spill. Of anger and pent up rage.

Another little spill, and the bottle is thrown across the living room, crashing against the wall into an infinity of smaller pieces. What a poetic way of representing her heart in the real world.

Empty. An insult of an inanimate object that represented the place she lived in right now. Or the place she spent her nights in, because even though less than half of the things were taken away, all the life went with it.

Because there was only one toothbrush at the sink, because the small couch felt too big, because the wardrobe had more than enough space for her clothes, because there were only three framed pictures instead of five.

Because Maggie left and the place that was nothing but life, died. And Alex was left to pretend the world around her, the world she lived in, wasn’t burning to the ground, in a place full of memories of them and not enough memories of her.

Because Maggie left, and Alex was still there, in the middle of the flames, trying to find a way to extinguish them, as well as rebuilt her broken heart and move on. And Alex was alone with the ghosts that haunted her at any time of the day, trying to learn how to deal with the shadow of happiness breathing down her neck.

Learning how to live alone in the world she built for two.

She gets up to grab another drink.

And Fourth, You’re Gonna Think That You Fixed Yourself

Opia.

The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

**

“Please, tell me I didn’t read this wrong.”

Alex takes more than she would ever admit to anyone to gather her thoughts. There are so many thing she could focus on instead of talking, and her brain has decided to do just so.

Rhythmical breathing hitting her flushed cheek, goosebumps erupting through the length of her arms because of it, the sound of her heavy breathing, her blood pumping through her veins so loudly she felt it in her ears.

Lips tingling, as if every nerve ending trembled from the reminder of what just happened, as if they had a mind of their own and knew what they wanted to do, what they had to do, what they craved to do.

Warmth coursing through her skin, heating every inch of her body, a warmth she had forgotten what felt like. Something so good she felt for the first time in months, being the cause of shaking hands and unsteady breathing.

She opens her eyes and stares, jaw dropping barely an inch, eyes locked, Sam’s fingers tangled in the hair at the top of her neck. She doesn’t know how they ended here, she doesn’t care that much right now. Because every cell of her body screams for her to spring into action, to stop being rational, to give herself once more. Her stunning is stronger, her cells begging for something her atoms could not comply.

“Otherwise this is going to be really awkward.”

Alex just stares, thinks of all the things that led them to this moment.

(An earthshaking kiss that stole Alex’s rational thinking and threatened to shred the thin layer of protection she managed to weave above the hole where her heart used to lie.)

Inconclusive tests, two or three shared glasses of whiskey, most likely not more than four, at Sam’s house, the absence of Ruby fully noted, an afternoon wasted on finding out what they already knew: there was nothing wrong with Sam. Not physically, at least.

Despair, perhaps, of not knowing what was happening, not the full lengths of it, anyways, and the need to be in control of at least one thing in their lives. Desperation from the missing hours, the ineptitude of making the events come back to life in her mind, the absolute despair of having to make one aspect of her life to appear normal, for pretense only.

Neediness. For human touch. To feel something other than pain and worry and sadness. To forget. To have something easy that wouldn’t hurt her when it eventually ended, like most things.

Starving. Emotionally and physically. Mentally.

“You didn’t.” Words come easily once she looks at Sam, her hands come up to grasp at her hips, trying to bring her closer, to flush their bodies together in confirmation that this wouldn’t slip through her fingers. “It’s just-”

“I know.” Yet, she doesn’t let go, she doesn’t try to put distance between them. Yet, Sam looks at her like she has all the answers even when both of them know otherwise, that things aren’t that simple. Yet, Sam pleads. “And I’m not asking something of you.”

“Because of what’s happening now, and there’s Ruby and...”

But Alex slides her hands up, to a slim waist until they stopped just shy of the side of Sam’s breasts, eyes trained on any response she managed to elicit. Blown wide pupils, change in breathing, dropping eyes to a line of sight dangerously close to the one that contained her mouth.

“You’re still healing and we don’t want you to start something to be an emotional crutch. I just thought that, maybe, if we acknowledge the fact that there’s something here, it wouldn’t hold too much power over us.”

“Now that we’ve done that” Alex’s right hand find Sam’s cheek, fingers easing a strand of hair to be held behind her ear, a beautiful blush coloring its tip “fuck it.”

It’s the easiest decision she made in the entire year.

Because the feeling of Sam’s lips against hers lights a fire behind her eyelids she was afraid she would never experience again. Because it should be frightening, how open she apparently was to the potential of getting hurt, or maybe at the prospect of feeling without all the undertones that came with it.

Convincing herself to urge Sam up, longs legs wrapping tightly around her middle, frantic whimpers leaving to wrap themselves around the minimal space between their bodies, is easier than she ever imagined.

Taking Sam then and there, hard, fast and messy against the wall two feet away from Sam’s front door, slickness covering her fingers, hands desperately grasping at her neck as hips ground down to find Alex’s fingers at every thrust, raspy moans spurring Alex to go deeper, harder, until Sam breaks.

What a lovely sight it is.

Sam’s head thrown back, a thin layer of sweat covering her forehead and the skin displayed by her cleavage, mouth open letting out a sound that would haunt Alex for the rest of her days, hair disheveled, neck exposed, pleading to be touched, kissed, marked.

So much skin yet to unravel, clothes still standing in the way of the one thing Alex craved the most.

(Intimacy.)

“Alex.”

It’s soft, breathless, a hushed affection against her ear, and her hands untangle from where they were place so firmly, easing its grip to a caress, resting, finally, against her shoulder. They kiss, slower, softer, much like their first, and it doesn’t take much for Alex to start moving again.

Sam whispers the directions to her, hands too busy working on discarding any article of clothing she managed to land them on, and Sam is thrown into her mattress wearing nothing but an unbuttoned pair of tight black jeans.

Vulnerable. Such an exquisite concept.

Vulnerable. The one thing you are taught from the very beginning to not be, or the world will eat you alive.

Vulnerable. And people cannot know what makes you weak or they will use it against you.

Yet, she is met with vulnerability in brown eyes, one thing she should never look for. It feels like invading on something she was never allowed to in the first place. Privacy. Personal space. The past.

But Sam urges her forward, working on both their jeans, eyes never leaving each others. Feels wrong then, not to look, not to trust. To deny herself from it feels way wronger than the duality of her own personal struggle over all the implications of it.

Alex lowers herself on top of Sam, their bodies fit together in a way Alex stores in the back of her mind, something to analyze later (later), something to freak out about later. Sam opens up to her, and it doesn’t feel like a one time thing.

Doesn’t feel like relieving pent up stress. Doesn’t feel like nothing.

Feels like a promise, feels like moving on, feels like being whole. (Compartmentalize.)

Nails dig at the skin of her back, the hand that wasn’t preoccupied by marking her rests gently against her cheek and it’s enough to make the pace of her wrist falter. They look at each other and she slows down, down, down. Foreheads touch each other’s, breath mingling in their need to not break whatever was happening.

Vulnerable. Such an exquisite concept. Yet, here Alex was, letting Sam see her, no layers covering her, choosing to be seen. Giving herself the possibility of being hurt again.

Sam wraps her arms around her neck, pulls her down and the charged electricity they shared is still there, it just doesn’t feel as heavy once the gaze is broken. Alex finds haven by resting her forehead against Sam’s shoulders and she listens.

Sam is a masterpiece.

She commits every sound, from the tiniest of whimpers to the longest drawn-out moans, to memory. Sam comes (beautifully, magnificently, perfectly), arching her back out of the bed, dragging Alex up with her, sheets wrapped in a death grip, the plane of her stomach too stunning not to be kissed.

The second orgasm is longer, not, in the slightest, less mind-blowing, if anything, is way more. The second orgasm seems like a series of smaller, less intense ones, bundled together in what feels like hours passing.

“Hey there.” She says softly, brings a hand up to brush Sam’s hair out of her face.

“Don’t look so smug.”

But it’s easier said than done, Sam’s voice cracks at every word, it’s deeper, weaker, as if it was produced by more effort than she would admit.

“I could always go again until you let me be as smug as I want about it.”

Sam laughs lowly, a breath of hair leaving her lungs, much alike so many others Alex had seen so many times already. But this one settles against the pit of her stomach and she is reminded of what happened. The intensity. The vulnerability.

(Intimacy.)

Alex kisses her again.

Fifth, You See Them Out With Someone Else

Sonder.

The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as yours.

**

Reign has gone rogue.

Sam has gone rogue.

It confusing, but it takes her two minutes to understand that it’s not. Because it’s Kara and Supergirl all over again, two different personalities, with their mannerisms, their own agendas sharing one living body. One living indestructible body.

Except that Sam cannot control it and Reign is evil and learning to take over for longer each time. Apparently, Reign took over for good.

It’s been two days, two whole days since Sam came back and it’s the longest she’s gone through, the worry digging its way into her chest until there was no other place for it to plant its roots. Her worry was cursing through her veins, it was Sam, it was Sam out there, getting hurt, blaming herself for what was happening. Sam, caring, beautiful, breathtakingly kind Sam. And there was nothing Alex could do.

She stands high at the DEO, arms crossed in front of her chest to keep her hands away from running through her hair, jaw clenched to prevent her teeth from biting her lip, eyes unfocused to prevent herself from crying.

It’s Sam and it hurts more than it should.

Alex was used to pain, that was something she could handle. That’s the thing. She could handle the pain. She couldn’t handle the people that she loved (Sam? Sam.) being hurt.

(The scars of her heartbreak were still too fresh and too recent, but she had gone through it, she had made it. Not in the healthiest of ways but it was over now, no need to mull over it.)

She wishes she was the one out there, because she could deal with the pain, she could handle the harmful thoughts, she could deal with whatever consequences of being Reign caused her. What she couldn’t do was stand back and wait for things to unfold.

It felt like watching her sister all over again, waiting and waiting, hoping she would be okay no matter what.

Right now, on top of Kara, invulnerable Kara, finding someone stronger, faster, dirtier, and still flying face first into danger to protect, she still had to worry for Sam. She couldn’t pick a side, because she couldn’t lose any of them.

“Alex!”

The tone is rushed, the timber of the voice one that she hasn’t thought she would hear again so close to her, unless through a phone. Before she can second guess her gut, she raises her hand, stopping the agents running behind Maggie, her eyes taking her in.

She hasn’t changed, Alex doubts she can. There would always be a warmth associated with Maggie, it was in the way she looked at her, trusting eyes and crooked smile, begging Alex to open up.

The shock leaves as fast as it comes, she has more important things to worry about, even if things are brought to the surface with Maggie back, emotions she worked so hard on pushing down clawing back, ripping apart the sensitive, thin skin covering her wounds, making her bleed.

Funny thing, once you reopen it, it bleeds less. It hurts less. Because if the surface is sealed, it meas that some part deep in the flesh has healed, and once opened again, that part doesn’t bleed. Only what’s above.

Feels like it right now.

It bleeds, it hurts, but it’s not the same. Alex can breath, Alex can look at Maggie and not ache for contact, not beg for attention and love, she’s past that. She’s healing.

“Maggie.”

“I heard about Reign.”

“So you rushed all the way from Gotham to help?” Eyebrow raised, amusement on her eyes, small smile on her lips. Teasing feels light, teasing feels like reaching out for a possible friend.

(Teasing means distracting her mind from all the injuries Kara and Sam might sport once they manage to get them back.

Hopefully only injuries.)

“You know me.” She shrugs, smile imitating Alex’s and the subject is over.

It’s not painful, understanding they have nothing to talk about anymore. Or maybe they have, but this isn’t the moment.

When Alex looks above her shoulder she sees the monitors tuning in on one of Reign’s footage, flying above the city, exuding a power she was yet to see. Her body turns towards it instinctively, eyes softening at the sight of Sam. Not Sam.

Not Sam.

“Is there anything I can do?”

Alex doesn’t look at her. She can’t. Because her heart is back in her chest for the first time in what feels like forever, and she feels it rooting its place back, to the same shape it was to begin with. She feels herself going back to being complete, veins connecting, heart pulsing, blood pumping.

She doesn’t need it to hurt again. She can’t make it hurt again. It’s still too soon to confront it, but, maybe, the day is getting closer.

Just a few chapters indeed.

“Go home.”

The lightning of the screen of Maggie’s phone draws her attention, eyes settling against it before she can decline the call. She feels her heart pulsing rhythmically, growing stronger by the second, threatening to flee from its place and back to Maggie’s hand.

It doesn’t. Because it calms itself down a minute later.

The understanding that people around her have complex’s lives, much like their own, and they are allowed to just be. Because as much as her life felt like the center of the world, the rock that everyone could lean into, that was just her universe. Everyone had one, just as consuming.

Maggie wasn’t different. Just because she was once part of Alex’s doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her own, where her own people would be part of it as well. Her own friendships, her own family, her own problems, her own job, her own love.

“There’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“No.”

She stops, eyes fixed on the face that would haunt a lot of dreams, black mask, black lipstick, black suit. A heart of gold. Reign hoovers above CatCo, fear installed around her, but not for Alex. The only fear she feels is for Sam.

The memories are easy to come back. Ruby. Sam’s hand against her cheek, Sam’s smile at her silly jokes, Sam’s kindness towards her when she wasn’t feeling worthy of any, Sam’s caring when Alex’s wasn’t so lovable.

(Sam’s hands clawing at her back, the feeling of their skin touching, Sam’s moans against her hear, the breathy whimpers, her kisses, her eyes, the way Sam looked at her, Sam’s laughter against her neck every time she forced a curse out of Alex’s mouth.

Sam.

Just that simple.)

“I have to get her back.”

(Alex stands close when she’s brought back unconscious into the DEO; she sits on the floor by the cage, and her heart bleeds at the thought of cage, that’s restraining her; she listens to everything Reign says, her threats, her curses, her story; she cries at the thought of Sam being long gone, nothing but Reign in the body she desperately wants to have back; and she holds her hand and doesn’t let go when Sam comes back almost two months later, and Reign is dead.)

And The Sixth, Is When You Admit That You May Have Fucked Up A Little

Altschmerz.

Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.

**

Over. Seven months of terror ended rather peacefully. It’s actually a very hard idea to wrap her head around, it’s over, Reign is gone and the threats are nothing they couldn’t handle without breaking a sweat.

Reign is gone and there is nothing to worry about, because they are safe. Kara is alright, nothing but a few well placed bruises that healed in a couple of hours, her sister was alive and completely fine, and the energy Alex was spending on keeping her anxiety radiating from her skin had to move somewhere else.

Reign is gone. And so is Sam.

Because Sam needs to heal. Physically she got out of it better than even the most optimistic ones in the team would ever imagine, the powers she developed seeming to numb once more and, therefore, there was no reason to keep her here. There wasn’t a development in her condition and Alex couldn’t keep her locked up.

There was a discussion around the topic, one that ended with Alex’s glare at any suggestion to inflict even the slightest pain on Sam.

Physically, Sam was better than ever. No one but her knew the damage of having a Worldkiller inside her mind, sharing her body, her actions, her intentions.

Alex tries not to think about what Sam told her, about how it felt when Reign took over for good, how it was like seeing things from the driver’s seat but not having the strength to change any of the actions.

Sam is the only one who can carry the burden of what Reign has done, that type of healing took longer, took distance, took hurting too much before getting herself back together. Alex would be the biggest hypocrite if she didn’t let Sam go. Knowing the right course of action didn’t mean it made it hurt any less.

As much as she would love to deny it, it felt like opening up every wound she’s ever had, and it wasn’t enough. It felt like ripping them apart, forcing the cuts deeper and wider, because she didn’t want to lose Sam. Not when she just got her back.

Her legs stop, even when her brain urges her forward, to end this before she hurt too much. Self preservation was never her best.

Sam looks over her shoulder, she whispers something in Ruby’s ear and the teenager barely nods before going inside the car parked in front of Sam’s house. Sam’s old house. The one that stands behind them, which used to be a home and now it was nothing but a congeries of bricks and steel, huddled together.

A house but not a home. Bare walls, empty hallways, the absence of sounds around the house, the proof that the place was lived in, gone. Gone, just like Reign is and how Sam is going to be.

The hold she has on the suitcases loosen up, and she is met with the reality that Sam is actually leaving. That, at the moment, Ruby is inside their car, the moving truck having already left earlier that morning, and Sam stands three steps down, the three steps that lead her to the porch. To staying.

Three steps that mark the end of a year. She is leaving, and, with her, the undertones of a possibility of them, and Alex is not ready to let got.

“I really want to be selfish right now.” Sam steps up, the soft light of National City shines against her hair, a golden aura wrapping around her figure. It only brings a tightening on Alex’s stomach, a pressure she knows all too well. “Ask you to stay.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

A look over her shoulder is all Alex needs. If it’s being too much for Sam, strong, independent Sam, she can’t even begin to imagine what the whole ordeal took on Ruby. If Sam was the one who experienced it, Ruby was sitting on the passenger's seat for the whole drive.

They have a relationship to rebuild, Alex can understand that. Doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

“Rationally, of course I do.”

Sam’s too close, yet, not hers. Hands rest against her shoulders, pulling Alex forward so they’re touching. It’s the closest they got ever since Alex dared to dream she could have her, there’s too much to think, too much to focus.

How Sam’s bare legs are inches from her hands, how Sam’s smile is still the brightest, how Sam’s eyes till seem to see her, much like the very first night, standing in a small balcony and a label of nothing but acquaintances between them.

Compartmentalizing was never a good tact once it came to Samantha Arias. Because Sam had a way of making Alex lose her willpower, her feelings spill and her need crawl up her skin. Compartmentalizing never worked on Alex’s feelings for Sam, because it was something Alex didn’t want to store for later, she wanted to face them. Consequences be damned.

She leans her head down, forehead resting against Sam’s shoulder, face finding shelter against her neck. Alex pulls her closer by the waist, tries to control her breathing, tries to ignore the sinking she feels and knows all too well.

“Feels like I’m scaring you away before we even got a chance to understand.” Her voice sounds hoarse, strange to her ears, even in the low whisper that delivers the words, terrified of showing her emotions too loudly. “The truth is, I fucked up. With Maggie.”

Her grip tightens around Sam’s waist, a way of saying she couldn’t do this, she wouldn’t be able to continue if she had Sam looking at her. Sam lets her, the realization that Sam knows her needs without Alex having to voice them confuses her further. Eventually, she would have to face them. Eventually, because she would have way too much time now that Sam was leaving.

“I did. I rushed things, I asked for too much too fast, and I brought too much of my own shit into our relationship. I fucked up, big time. And I can’t, I just can’t shake the feeling that I did the same with you.”

With us.

“Hey, don’t. Look at me.” Her finger are soft, they leave a trail of fire against every single inch they touch until they settle on her cheeks, urging their eyes to meet. She doesn’t mention how her eyes shine, doesn’t mention unwashed tears. Acknowledging them would only make things harder, it would be the understanding that Sam is hurting as much as Alex. That she cares as much as Alex, even though that was something she knew from the beginning, because Sam never hid. “You are allowed to want things. Your needs are valid.”

“No, I-”

“Alex.”

Sam kisses her. Sam kisses her and, suddenly, she isn’t leaving anymore, they aren’t standing in the porch of what used to be the Arias’ residence, they aren’t kissing fifteen feet away from Sam’s daughter, a girl Alex loved with all her heart, even when it wasn’t on her chest.

Sam kisses her, and it feels like things are easier than they are. A Sam Arias’ thing, of course. And it’s long, sweet, lacking the urge of their first kisses, as if they had all the time of the world.

They didn’t.

When Sam rests their foreheads together, she sees the tears, it’s one of those things she quite doesn’t understand fully, but feels right. There’s no need to question it.

“It’s not your fault. There are divergences we cannot ignore and they are enough to end something good. And learn and grow from there. And it’s okay if you fucked up, because it’s what we do, we fuck things up. But we do better next time.”

Alex presses their lips together, it’s way faster this time, when Sam stars pulling away, putting distance between them. Physically forcing herself away before she gave too much of herself and turning back felt impossible. Alex definitely felt that.

Alex felt like losing herself, like giving herself up all over again. Like jumping of a cliff before knowing what was below the edge. Water or ground. She understands, then, the necessity of leaving, of looking over what was waiting for them before going forward, before leaping.

One foot. Sam stands one foot out of her reach, a sad smile on her lips and visible tear streams on both sides of her face.

“About us? I think we still have to heal, even if it’s easier with someone along the way. There are some parts of ourselves we have to mend on our own, and we can’t let other people do that for us before we can fully move forward, to what we want but cannot have at the moment. Otherwise, how can we learn?”

Feels like delaying the inevitable. Alex is okay with that. Still, her insecurities get the best of her, and the words leave her mouth in a barely audible whisper but Sam catches. Alex is sure, then, that Sam would always be there to catch her.

“Was I just a chapter?”

“You are my whole damn book, Alex.” Her smile grows, she takes the suitcase Alex carried outside. “I’ll see you around, Danvers.”

The words sting, they do because they hit too close to home, because they were the final stop of what she had built before. Maybe it’s just the confirmation Alex needed to understand she still had some work to do on herself, after all.

Maybe the day she is able to move on completely is way closer than she thinks.

“I’ll see you, Arias.” Not a goodbye, but it surely feels like one.

She leaves. Sam leaves and Alex forces her heart to stay rooted in its place, to stop its endless pursuit for things she could not have at the moment.

She goes to Kara, because there’s no one else in the entire world she ought to share everything with. She goes to Kara because she is spilling and, now, seeing things clearly, she feels foolish for not going earlier, for not relying on her sister as much as she should’ve.

And Kara listens, like she always does. And hugs her when her voice cracks at the first mention of Sam. And holds her when she eventually breaks, the weight of losing, not only Maggie all those months back, but also Winn, Ruby, Sam.

She goes to Kara, because Kara is her sister and the healing she has to do by herself starts with rebuilding the relationship she neglected the past couple of years.

Recovery is a bitch. A necessary one, but a bitch nevertheless.

Seventh? You Learn To Move On

Jouska.

A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

**

It takes Alex one hour twenty-three minutes and seventeen seconds to finally let go and she feels her last scar molding back into unmarked skin. She feels the skin of her chest smooth, no bump or trepidation.

No scars. She is complete.

There are some parts of ourselves we have to mend on our own. And she stands tall in front of the ocean, watching as the waves rhythmically crashed against the shore before being pulled back, each time taking the ring further and further away from Alex.

Free. She is finally free. Not from the memories, no, those were carefully locked away in a part of her brain and of her heart she had reserved especially for that. To remember and to feel, to smile at what she had gone through and to look back at it and be able to say she grew from the experience. She is free, from the pain and hurt she carried for so long, the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new one.

To appreciate what she had gone through and to thank for the lesson her older self needed, but to understand her present self didn’t. It’s letting go from everything, but keeping a souvenir from the ride, as a reminder, to cherish and care for.

Her souvenir were the memories. They were something impossible to let go, because they were happy, they played an important role on molding her into the woman she was today. The woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it and was not going to let go this time, because it could work. It should work.

She spends the three-hour drive back to her apartment reliving. And it doesn’t hurt. Her heart is beating peacefully on her chest, a quiet reminder that it’s over and she turned out okay, as the past moments come and go.

Their shared Valentine’s Day, as they danced, foreheads touching, and the love that spread through her chest, the realization that this could be it. The shared morning afters, all of the awkwardness giving space to stolen kisses and playful banter. The words they shared in red anger and the differences in viewing the world, things they could not ignore and that pulled them further and further away from each other until they were already too far gone.

Everything. Alex found out she was glad for everything.

With a smile, calmness washing through her, Alex takes off her helmet, leaves it at the bike’s compartment, and heads towards the entrance of her building. The door closing behind her feels like the metaphorical ending to the real one.

It’s not until she is inside the elevator, red number changing as she goes up, hands fidgeting with her unlocked cellphone, that reality finally crashes with her.

Reality being, she knows what she wanted, for months now she did, and she got to that point after too long. She was ready. What she wanted, though, didn’t depend only on herself and her ability to heal.

Sam. A thought that hasn’t left her mind ever since the last kiss they shared, sunlight lighting her eyes, black spots blurring her vision, or maybe the thought hasn’t left her mind since the moment Sam kissed her, hushed and sweet. Sam, and the never-ending possibilities they have once they are both on the same page. Sam, and the dark limbo she was left in when she left, not a single second of communication since then, apart from sporadic texts with Ruby, knowing that there would be a someday and not knowing when.

Alex’s fingers hoover over her contact info and she knows that if she had a single drop of alcohol at the moment, she would’ve called without a second of hesitation. The need to hear her voice was something that had happened too many times already, and always left Alex with a bad taste on her mouth once she decided against it.

Space. Sam had asked for nothing but space to pull herself back into something that resembled the Sam before everything happened and Alex had to give it to her. So she waited for Sam to reach out, and hoped that one day she would.

Sam never did.

The doors of the elevator are already closing when she snaps out of it, rushing out before she is led to a floor that isn’t hers, tucking the phone into her pocket. She freezes, she freezes standing a handful of yards away from her apartment because Sam stands in front of her door, fist raised in the air.

Sam is more beautiful than ever, or as beautiful as ever and Alex was letting the time speak louder than ever before, to allow herself the longing she tried so hard to convince she was not feeling. Sam is as beautiful as ever.

The tips of her hair barely touching her shoulder, her profile accentuating the definition of her jaw and Alex can’t help but stare. She can’t remember how to breathe, the beauty standing in front of her taking all of her focus and Alex would gladly die from it.

Four months. It’s been four months without contact, no call, no text, only memories in the late nights as she laid down on a bed deemed too big for one and sleep came in waves, crashing then retreating.

Minutes of peace succumbing to restless awaking. Sam on her mind. Sam always there.

Four months and the first thing Alex wants to do is touch her, to make sure the feeling she committed to memory makes justice to how it actually is. She doesn’t think so. Because touching Sam is a different experience each time, it races Alex’s heart into a different tune every time it happens.

But Sam brings her fist down, shakes her head and turn around, arms crossing in front of her chest. She sees her. They see each other and the words Alex practiced over and over on her head, the way she always thought their conversation would go once they were finally at the same place again, are gone.

The conversation she ached for so long to have and the one she had planned and rehearsed gets lost, because Sam is here and no amount of time could’ve prepared Alex for it.

“Were you leaving without even saying ‘hey’?”

Sam laughs, Alex laughs with her, and the tension she hadn’t even noticed dissipates. They get closer, not touching, because Alex is afraid that once she starts she won’t be able to stop.

Unfortunately, before anything happens, there are words that need to be shared. Four months worthy of words.

“When did you get here? How did, I mean, how long are you staying?”

“This morning. Lena picked me and Ruby up from the airport and she insisted on letting us stay at hers until our apartment is free to moving in.” Her fingers come up, brush a wild strand of hair from out of her face and to the back of her ear, a burning growing in Alex’s hand from knowing she wanted to be the one responsible for doing that. “She’s also staying with Ruby tonight so I could come get some, her words not mine.”

Mischief shine in her eyes, the hairs in the back of Alex’s neck rising at the promise, at the bluntness of the statement. Not that it made it any less real. It was inevitable.

“Come get some means never knocking?”

“I had a whole speech planned, in which I would confess everything, but you’re here and… I was scared.” Sam admits in a whisper and the atmosphere around them becomes charged with the soft admission in three words.

Vulnerability, a concept Alex was very unaware of for too long and now was a routine when it came to Sam.

“Of what?” Her tone matches it, a low exhale in an even lower voice, afraid of breaking the shared confession they were getting into.

Sam’s hand rests against her chest, their eyes meet, a long gaze in which no words were needed because Alex understands. They understand. But Sam continues and her voice breaks, but the words are out and a choice is to be made.

“That even after so long I still feel too much for you. That I want you but it’d be too late."

It’s enough for now.

Alex kisses her, hard and numbing, way different than all the kisses they had already shared, because this one conveys months of pent up emotion Alex was never able to keep from Sam. This one, a couple of minutes long, is made to pour every single emotion she had on the months when Sam was all that went through her head.

Alex kisses her, and Sam’s mouth opens for her, as if she had been waiting for it since she stepped into the building. Their tongues meet and Alex feels strong and weak all together, a feeling she could only describe as Sam Arias. None of the simulations comes close to how it turns out, not even in the most optimistic ones.

They kiss and it’s electric, heart racing, toes curling, breath taking, everything Alex knew that was entirely attached to Sam. And they still had a lot to talk about, but it could wait until later.

Way later.

Because Sam’s hands were already under her shirt, resting against the skin of her hipbones, drawing small circles in it, and Alex was painfully aware of the growing slickness between her legs, the tightening in her chest that Sam is back for good, that Sam wants her.

When she comes back for air, the smile she is met with is bright, lovely, and it makes her want to rip her heart out and hand it to Sam. But she grew and learned that she didn’t have to do that for Sam to know Alex was hers. Completely.

Her thumb brushed against Sam’s lips, still not believing she was here, even after being able to kiss her, to hold her.

“I loved the hair, by the way. Very hot.”

Alex laughs, runs her fingers through the length of it, still unused to the feeling of the shorter parts.

“I have to say the same. But you mentioned that you are free for the night?” A nod is all she gets before she kisses Sam’s cheek, lips dragging until they press against the shell of her ear, she smirks at the gasp it elicits. “Wanna go to my place?”

They don’t talk, they don’t need to. Because they have time.

Time.

She wakes up in the middle of the night to an empty cold bed, crumpled sheets and the absence of clothing, every piece that she finds thrown in a path leading to her bed, the only indications that it wasn’t just a dream. That Sam is back. To stay.

Her window is still closed, no light coming from the outside, too deep into dawn to shed any light through the glass. It’s were she finds Sam, sitting in her naked glory at a chair probably dragged from the dining table, eyes fixed on the night ahead of her, the quietness provided by the lack of threats, something she never thought she would find strange.

She doesn’t have to think twice before going to Sam, crouching down in front of her, taking the hands resting on her lap into her own. Offering comfort, a thing Sam was more than willing to receive.

“Come back to bed.” She whispers, come back to me.

Even in the dark she sees her smile, because it’s Sam and it didn’t matter how far they were, how dark it was, Alex would always see her. It’s Sam, it’s enough of an explanation.

“I remember everything.” She doesn’t need to clarify, because it is the one topic they would never talk about in daylight, something too painful to taint the beautiful light they shared and something way easier to say when they didn’t have to look at each other. “I can’t sleep.”

“I’ll stay with you.”

Sam nods and allows herself to be pulled up from the chair, allows herself to be kissed and led to bed, allows herself to be dragged under sheets and tucked under Alex’s chin.

They fit, easily even. Sam holds her tight, close, every inch of uncovered skin touching as if she is afraid this could end, that this isn’t real. They aren’t real. She breathes raggedly until Alex reaches out, lets her fingers graze against the expanse of her back, goosebumps erupting with each passing second.

They fit, and Sam calms down. Sam allows herself to be loved, to be cared for, physically matching the feeling inside, melting against Alex’s touch.

Alex lets go of a breath she wasn’t even aware she was holding, leaves a kiss on her temple. Sam feels like coming home.

A whole damn book, indeed.

[honey-milk-depresso]

Hello! I'd like to request for headcanons where Trey, Deuce, and Azul see the reader having the time of their life after breaking up with them. The after-relationship blues, you know? Make it angsty! Ehehe, have fun~

Did you do this to make me cry while writing this on purpose-

"I hope you're happy but don't be happier" (TWST)

yes I will quote Olivia Rodrigo thank you-

Tw: Angst

Trey Clover

He didn't know what happened, neither did you. You two were the sweetest with one another, but all of a sudden it crumbled down like a pastry crust.

At first, he didn't want to think about it. The vice dorm leader had and has a lot on his plate already, so he didn't care about it.

But the fond memories still linger in his head, clawing at him like dreaded waves reaching towards the shore in rapid motion.

It made his tongue feel... bitter. Bitter without the sweet taste of your lips on his.

He sighs. Maybe he's ought to apologise then. He was in the wrong too either way. Trey got to work and made your favourite snack, wrapped it perfectly and made his way to find you in hopes you would forgive him.

And as his mind was racing, his pace increasing, his eyes widened in horror at the sight of you hugging Jade (or someone else-) before giving him a kiss, giggling along with him as Trey could watch helplessly at the sidelines.

He only bow his head low and remained quiet, turning away. His mustard eyes glossy, he smiled bitterly to himself.

"Never thought you'll be happier without me.." </3

NO I WON'T EVER DO THAT SWEETIE I LOVE YOU WTFFFFDCGCD- I BROKE MY OWN HEART WHILE WRITING THISSS TT o TT

Deuce Spade

He's never been in a relationship, and he blames it on the lack of his experiences for your break up.

But... it wasn't right of him to shout at you like that..

Argh.. He's been trying to find excuses for him self, but deep down he knows it was his fault.

Deuce tries his very best to shake you off, but you keep swimming back to his head, your name chanting like a mantra.

Ultimately, Deuce couldn't stand being without you, and decided to find you again.

Rehearsing his apology in his head, he could only pray that you could ever forgive him and be with him once more.

Perhaps he remained too hopeful, because all rehearsing was paused, seeing you press your lips against Ace (or someone else-).

Deuce could only stare, as the poor boy felt tears welling up. You both laughed at each other, and Deuce ran away, hoping the two of you couldn't see his vulnerable self.

He replayed that scene over and over,

and the memories of you now ingrained in his head as he cried freely in the outside, alone and palms cold, lacking your touch. </3

I'm gonna go cry cuz I hate this and this writing I've written-

Azul Ashengrotto

It was inevitable, he keeps telling himself.

One day, you two would fall apart. That's all relationships, and he should move on.

... Easier said than done.

Azul couldn't live with one day without thinking of you. His first thought when he wake up is you, and the last thought before he sleeps is you.

You stick to him so tightly, with a vice grip in his head.

Azul felt his heart sank deeper a little each time he's at work, remembering how you whisk him away to his room when he overworked himself, your soothing voice rings in his thoughts.

Azul felt stumped.

He should... probably find you and make amends, right?

He promptly stood up and straightened his coat, brisk walking in hopes to find you.To apologise.

Azul turned to see a portion of you behind the wall.

"S-"

He stopped dead in his tracks, seeing you kiss Jamil (or someone else-), before you two smiled merrily at each other.

The dorm leader of Octavinelle's heart sank deeper than an anchor dropped down into the sea, as he felt the salty and bitter tears from the corner of his eyes rolled down like a watery pearl. </3

BYE IM CRYINGGDH