#if you watch mystery/true crime youtube you know what i mean

[elfboyeros]

Who was Bela Pavlova?

⚠️Warning: Death, Mention of Abuse, Dark themes, etc aka the Bela Pavlova backstory stuff

So I mentioned this to @/jj-pines and @/lerenee that I imagine that there were films made of Bela's life because she basically disappeared at her peak at stuff and then I randomly thought of the Film Mommie Dearest and the video Kennie JD did on it and I was like: I bet the Youtube True Crime girlies would eat a story like Bela's alive so the fic was made that power wrote in a day! Read all about the nerds I create here and here

Calypso does what any girl does when doing her makeup in the morning, watch a True Crime Video on YouTube.

’ Ello, my darlings, it’s me Deliah Darling and we have an interesting story today!

The young woman, with a darker complexion and colorful braids, is on screen in front of a dark, almost gothic background, barefaced as she speaks with a British accent.

I say that like all the stories I talk about are not interesting, but this one is different! We talk about a lot of true crime on this channel, but today isn’t really true crime, I mean there is a criminal element, it’s unsolved murder which you all know is one of my favorite things to cover, but what we are talking about today is just fantasizing.

Today we are going to be talking about Bela Pavlova or the Russian Swan.

Calypso stops mid-putting on her moisturizer to look over at her phone in shock, one of her favorite make-up/true crime “influencers” talking about her mother! A picture pops up on the screen of Belladonna or Bela in her prime as a ballerina in the 1900s

This is Bela Pavlova, not to be confused with Anna Pavlova the first ballerina to tour the world. As a side note before we get into it, Anna and Bela are not related, however, Bela is often confused with Anna as if they are the same person.

Calypso continues to do her make-up routine just slower than normal.

I wanted to cover Bela today because her history especially in the ballerina world is… while there is no other way to say it but just plain insane. Her history is a huge mystery, involving death, murder, and kidnapping! Her life has been turned into 3 movies! Bela Pavlova, is a beautiful woman with a crazy life. Let’s get started.

The Intro for Delilah’s channel began as Calypso slowly opened her primer, hopefully, she wouldn’t have to write a full essay of information to clarify her mother’s life, she really likes Delilah’s videos she doesn’t want to unsubscribe.  When the intro stopped Delilah had a makeup brush in hand before she started talking.

Bela Gorelov was born in 1881 on the 1st of July to Igor and Violetta Gorelov in Moscow, Russia.  Violetta was a dressmaker and Igor worked “odd jobs” or something like that. See there were these books published in 1985 and then again, this year, which I’ll go into more detail about later, that had Bela’s dairies since her mother died and in them, Bela writes about all these jobs her father had and there is never a concrete answer for what he did besides chronically drink.

Well, that’s correct. It is interesting to mention her mother’s books as a source, Delilah seems to have done her research.

Bela had a normal childhood, started ballet at the age of eight, and guys she was incredibly talented, this girl started as a professional ballerina at the age of 14 she was good! However, her lovely little ballerina life wasn't sunshine and rainbow, because in 1891 when she was 10 Violetta died at the age of 23 of Cholera, leaving her in the care of her father and her maternal grandmother Apollinariya Urusov, who was also a dressmaker. What’s sad is that according to Bela’s dairy entries, as her father started to drink more he quote: “Became someone I didn’t recognize anymore, mama has been gone for a year and the man I am faced with every day is no longer my father, but simply Igor Gorelov the man that barely looks over me.” Even more heartbreaking Bela loved her mother and grandmother and when Apollinariya died in 1896 Bela was devasted!

Bela had just started doing professional ballet, a year before when she was 14! Then a year later. Her grandmother died, leaving her with her alcoholic father who was not very kind to her as when Bela turned 16, she was married off to Sergei Pavlova a 19-year-old construction worker, making her Bela Pavlova.

Calypso cringes at the sound of Sergei’s name, as Delilah let out a sarcastic laugh.

So Sergei… he was…

Delilah laughs once again

I’m trying to think of a way to define this man that will not get me demonetized, but I can’t! Sergei was an abuser. He smoked, he drank, and he sadly abused Bela for their entire marriage. However, their horrific marriage didn’t stop Bela from being a talented ballerina, she was best known for being Aurora in a production of Sleeping Beauty, playing Flora in a production of The Awakening of Flora, and the white and black swan in several different productions of Swan Lake during 1888-1900. I think because her “best roles” were from Swan Lake that’s another reason why she and Anna Pavlova, anyway.

Calypso has major respect for Delilah she has done respect for Bela Pavlova, however, this is only the beginning of the hour-long video.

In Early December of 1901, Bela wakes up, goes to a local restaurant for breakfast with a cousin, goes to the dress shop that her mother's side of the family-owned to pick up a dress, takes that dress back home, then goes to the theatre that she would perform another production of swan lake where she would play both the white swan and the black swan.

This would be her last production of Swan Lake and the last time she would perform on a stage, as that evening, she would disappear.

Calypso chuckles lightly patting her concealer, at the somber tone taken. Horrible events happened that night, whatever, Calypso knows the outcomes of all the events that took place that night, and in retrospect, the event is not as somber as it is being made out.

Now there many stories that happened that night, but no one will ever know truly what happened. However the facts are that Bela went to her dressing room after the ballet concluded, Sergei came to visit her, and early the next morning Sergei was found deceased, the room beyond disheveled, blood everywhere, and Bela nowhere to be found.

“Thank you, Daddy,” Calypso mutters, dusting her face with powder foundation.

Now

Delilah clapped her hands, her make-up barely finished as she had been talking with her hands and stopping for periods of time to explain things.

I am going to go over the theories of what could have happened that night, and then because of the autobiography, I will go over what is believed to have happened that night! So a major theory that is believed is that Bela killed Sergei and ran away, however, I have very little faith that this is true as Sergei was a hefty guy, and Bela had like the ideal ballerina body. I can’t imagine her killing anyone with her bare hands.

Calypso chuckles once again, Belladonna has in fact killed many individuals, but yeah as Bela she didn’t kill anyone.

Another theory is that Bela was kidnapped. Many people around the ballet scene said at the time when questioned about Bela, based on different sources that there was a large pale man with white hair who had become infatuated with Bela. Many believe that this white-haired man kidnapped Bela or even murdered her from the theatre. However, we have the Book “The True Life of The Russian Swan-The Dairy of Bela Pavlova” which is an autobiographical book that compiled all of Bela’s Dairy entries from the age of 10 up until her presumed death, which according to her dairy was not 20 like most believed before the book was published in the 80’s.

Even knowing all the facts, Calypso is still integrated, while filling in her eyebrows.

So that white-haired man does exist, but a lot of people online believe he doesn’t for some reason even though this book exists! The man’s name was Wolfgang Von Koch.

Not completely incorrect for the book Belladonna changed Wilhelm’s name so as not to trace the book back to them.

Wolfgang Von Koch was a man from Germany born 29th of January 1861. Bela said in her diary that he had a love for travel, and it surprised her when he said that he lived in Romania instead of Germany. Quote: “He told me Romania with a German Accent, I asked him “how come?” He simply replied, “I enjoy the mountains in Romania.” How could you move to one place just because of the mountains? He is beautiful, tall, built, and distinguished. Much older than I am, but if I were not married I would always make attempts to be in his view.”

“Momma and Daddy are so cute,” Calypso giggles softly.

So Wolfgang was in Russia on his travel, went to the ballet one night, and saw Bela on stage and is enamored with her immediately! She’s this beautiful, talented, ballerina but she has a unique appearance. Bela had poliosis is caused by low amounts of melanin and melanocytes in your hair follicle and occurs when you have a white streak in your hair, contrary to your natural hair color. Bela’s hair was black, and it had this white chunk in the front, even her eyebrows and her eyelashes had white in them! Like guys there are pictures of her in her book and this woman was gorgeous! Who won’t fall in love with her?

Delilah is right, Belladonna is gorgeous.

Anyway! Wolfgang was able to have tiny conversations with Bela after the ballet finished and they got to know each other over the almost 3 months he was in Russia. Many people think on the day she disappeared she actually met Wolfgang for breakfast, but that’s not true as Bela states in her dairy recalling that day “I never thought that when I sat down with Vera that morning, I never expect to be leaving Russia late that night!” So, according to Bela as she wrote in her dairy Wolfgang came to her dressing room after everyone had presumably left the theatre to get her gifts of carnations and chocolate-covered cherries, not only because he thought she deserved them, but because it was his last night in Russia before he went home. When Wolfgang made it to her dressing room, he found Sergei abusing Bela and went into a blind rage killing Sergei.

“W, Daddy,” Calypso muttered finishing her eyeshadow.

Bela wrote in her diary, “I never knew a man could make a murder look so divine.” She wanted Wolfgang to take her out of Russia so she could start a new life away from a horrible life in Russia, and he did just that, he allowed her to go back home to gather her things, let her visit her mother and grandmother’s graves one last time and they left Russia, and she never returned.

Now, Bela ended up living with Wolfgang in Romania in his home presumably in the mountains and they ended up getting married. According to Bela, they had a wonderful life together, they ended up having a child on June 5th, 1908, and they named her Violetta after Bela’s mother. She died sometime in January 1935, as her last entry was on December 29th, 1935, which means she died at the age of 54 however the book never says.

Mostly lies, but, of course, the ending of the book is fiction.

Now the reason I wanted to cover Bela Von Koch is because early this year there was a movie made—

“A shit movie!” Calypso scoffs.

—About Bela’s life simply called “Bela” and guys this movie is bad! Especially because “The True Life of The Russian Swan”was published in the 80’s! THIS BOOK WAS PUBLISHED IN 1985 BY BELA’S GREAT GRANDDAUGHTER! THEY HAD THE BLUEPRINT FOR THE FILM AND NO ONE BOTHERED TO ACUTALLY READ THIS FUCKING BOOK! What’s even worse, is the book was made in retaliation to a film that came out in 1982 called “The Russian Swan”.

“Which is another bad movie,” Calypso mutters finishing her eyeliner.

“The Russian Swan” is based on a golden age short film from 1947 of the same name which depicts the last performance of Bela Pavlova, the 1947 film is the only good film about Bela in my opinion, it’s just a silent film in which the actress does ballet and it is implied at the end that she was murdered, but the 1982 movie… Guys this film is even worse, oh my god!

Delilah dragged her hands along her face.

The Russian Swan the film boils my bones guys! First, the Bela in the 1982 movie doesn’t have poliosis, the most distinguishing feature of this woman and they got it wrong! They mix her with Anna Pavlova saying that she performed “The Dying Swan,” which is false, again Bela and Anna are not the same person, the reason the book of her diary was published was that they got so many things wrong about Bela that her great-granddaughter, Madalina Dumitru, was so upset with the film that she made the discussion to comply all of Bela’s dairies and publish for the public, disavowing the film and calling it a “a piece of horrific fiction I wish hadn’t been made for the screen.”

Actually, Belladonna’s own words at the time hidden behind a pen name, truly disgusted by the film when it came out in the 80’s she decided to publish her deepest thoughts to explain her what her life was rather in the fictional depiction.

The book was republished this year a few weeks ago because yet again another piss poor film about Bela was released and Madaline who is now in her sixty’s said on the rerelease of the book, “What bother’s me about the Film Bela is that it seems that my book of my great-grandmother’s dairy entries was not sourced nor was I connected about the film. This is yet another American film—” All of these films are made by the United States for some reason “—That made Bela Pavlova a work of fiction rather than treat her like the human being she was!” With the republishing, there are new dairy entries throughout it as more of Bela’s dairies and letters were found that were added, which was interesting, I highly recommend both versions of the book they are good reads.

“No thanks,” Calypso mutters before putting on lipstick.

Bela Pavlova is an interesting person to research. She was the amazing talented ballerina with the air of mystery! I did ballet for years as a child and teenager and I heard about Bela Pavlova all the time when we would talk about Swan Lake! I remember watching the film from the 80’s and being so disappointed because the film was so disgusting in its portrayal of Bela. Then I read the book and was so angry! So when Bela came out, I went to see it in theatres and of my god I left halfway through it because it was so horrible! I felt bad for Bela and her family’s behavior! Both films go with the angle that she was kidnapped! The modern film which could confirm that she left with Wolfgang willing, portrayed her as a young girl that was kidnapped by an evil man obsessed with her!

Delilah groaned loudly.

She was a talented ballerina—

“She is a talented ballerina,” Calypso muttered leaning back in her vanity chair attempting to pop her back as she stretched.

—and I just don’t understand what the point was of the movies! It’s as if the Crown was so inaccurate! Like Madaline was recently asked, in an interview, which of the three films was the best and of course she said the film from the 40s because quote: “It was inaccurate in the ending, but how could anyone know? The Russian Swan from 1947 is a beautiful short film, the ballerina in the film is gorgeous, but everything about the film is astonishing, especially for a film from the 40s. Again, the end is a bit teeth-grinding but I can understand how the idea of Bela being murdered is enthralling, moreover, no one knew what did or did not happen so 1947 is the best out of the three the other two should be burned!”

What was even funnier is when interviewed, Madaline was asked about some crazy theories and I wanna talk about one before we continue this video, because I believe it as a teenager and I think a part of me still believes it.

“Here we go,” Calypso chuckles.

So many people crazier then I believe that some of the dairy entries are fake that there is no Wolfgang, Violetta, that Madaline is actually a woman named Belladonna—

Calypso stares at her phone a bit shocked. “Belladonna” has never been mentioned in all that Calypso has seen on the internet about her mother, but then again she doesn’t look that hard.

—and Belladonna is actually Bela who is now a vampire and has been a vampire ever since the 1900s.

Delilah slammed her hand on the desk in front of her.

The theory is that Wolfgang is actually this man named Wilhelm Con Vester a German vampire that was of similar appearance as Wolfgang is, and Wilhelm Con Vester is the one that rescues Bela and takes her to Romania, she changed her name to Belladonna, he turns into a little vampy and they have been living amongst us ever since!

Will, that’s painfully accurate, internet people are good!

Apparently, Sergie had puncher wounds on his neck and was drained of all his blood, and after Bela went missing and was never heard of again, a woman named Belladonna Con Vester popped up in Romania out of nowhere and she has been in Romania ever since with her Husband Wilhelm, and honestly, she looks exactly like Bela!

And I mean we all know that vampires, werewolves, and shit exist so I wouldn’t be surprised if Belladonna was Bela, but from what I understand, Belladonna is living a very happy life with her husband, I think they run a funeral home together, so if she is Bela Pavlova she is now separated from that time of her life, which I completely understand. Like I can’t imagine what her life was like before she was saved, and if that were me, I would want to separate myself from all that and I would most definitely change my name if I could.

But this theory could be wrong, and Belladonna and Wilhelm aren’t connected at all. Madaline has said she has a child, that could be Belladonna, but I don’t know.

Anyway, that’s all I have for you all today, my darlings! Please give this video all your love and if you are new and enjoyed this video and want more, feel free to subscribe, I think since it is almost Halloween, I’ll talk about the Le Doux Werewolf family from New Orleans next, I find them really cool! Alright, bye-bye, my darlings.

Delilah blew a kiss to the camera

I’ll see you next time.

Calypso picks up her phone, scrolling to the comments, not bothering to read them she types, “Love your video! I consider myself a Bela Pavlova history nerd and respect you for all the research you put into your video. Whether the vampire theory is true I have no idea, but I have also seen theories that Wolfgang made it look like a vampire killed Bela’s husband so he wouldn’t be suspected of the murder, but I don’t know how true that is.”

“Bunny?” Belladonna calls while knocking on Calypso’s bedroom door before opening it, “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, momma,” Calypso replies, after sending the comment under the video, getting up from her vanity, and locking her phone.

“It took you longer than normal, everything okay?” Belladonna asked as her daughter approached her.

“I was just watching a really good video,” Calypso replies as her mother tucked some hair behind her ear, “It was about you actually.”

“Oh,” Belladonna chuckles, “Me or Bela?”

“Bela,” Calypso answers, “It was about those horrible movies!”

“Eck,” Belladonna sighs, “Come on, we have to go meet your father at the funeral home.”

“‘Kay.”

As Calypso followed Belladonna out of the house her phone vibrated Dalilah Darling had hearted her comment and even replied: “I saw that theory too, I like to think that Wolfgang is Wilhelm which is why included the theory, because my romantic heart likes to believe that Bela/Belladonna and Wilhelm are happily living it up as vamps.”

Calypso giggles a little before commenting: “Honestly me too.”

[alicelovesfatties]

I am non-binary and go by they/she/he pronouns. I aspire to be feminine presenting <3 I am looking for people around my age (18-28) to chat with and maybe meet some friends! I can be social anxious and don't always reach out first. Don't be shy to message me :)

Im not very good with small talk, feel free to jump straight into whats on your mind :) Im very laid back and don't mind talking about most things. You can see my interests and stuff below, kink and non-kink related. And please no sending me unsolicited pictures, ask first or you will be blocked. Also if you are outrageously above my age range and you message me you will be blocked.

I'm into encouraging others, taking about kinks in general, fantasies, etc. If you would like me to encourage you, tease you, etc. Please let me know your boundaries\limits so I can make it as nice of an experience as possible. Last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable!

Not actively gaining atm. My highest weight ever is 220lbs. I lost weight at the beginning of last year down to 155lbs. Since September I've gained 35lbs (some on purpose, some on accident). I have pictures of my hw if interested and im happy to talk more about it :)

Kinks I am into: Weight Gain, Stuffing, Light BDSM, Force Feeding, Mutual Gaining, Contrast, Mild Slob (A little bit of burping and messy eating), Immobility (Fantasy), Degradation, Embarrassment (fantasy if it's out in public), teasing, praise, probably more I'm forgetting lol. Also, I'm a switch :P

If you are into something in particular and it's not on this list, please ask me first before talking about.

For things that aren't feedism related. I love videogames, drawing, and Horror + mysteries (Specifically: args, online stories, and true crime. I watch lot of youtubers such as Nexpo, Inside the Mind, etc.), Will Wood Video Games I play often (By no means a comprehensive list, I play tons of different games) TF2 OW2 The Binding of Isaac + many other rougelikes. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Pokemon (Big into VGC) Splatoon 3 Smash Bros

[erstwhilesparrow]

any book or tv show recommendations mayhaps?

oh! hello! (had a second of "WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU FIND ME" and then i checked your blog and was like, "ah, okay, never mind, you are entirely aware i am in the midst of being really pretentious about mcyt right now." welcome!)

under a cut for I Talk A Lot crimes:

hm. okay, tv shows first because i know that'll be short:

NBC's Hannibal (2013) - Huge massive content warning for cannibalism and gore but also the prettiest murders you've ever seen. Feels weird recommending this one because it feels so widely known, but I do love it and I don't watch a lot of other TV. Borrowed from Wikipedia: "FBI profiler Will Graham is recruited by Jack Crawford, [...] to help investigate a serial killer in Minnesota. With the investigation weighing heavily on Graham, Crawford decides to have him supervised by forensic psychiatrist Dr. Hannibal Lecter." Things only get worse for him from there.

Mars Red - Deeply cerebral anime about vampires. Full of theatre references, musings on life and time and death and what it means to sit on the edge / outside that as a vampire. Very very pretty. Plot-wise, it's about a group of not-particularly-connected vampires in 1920s Japan who've been recruited to a special military unit working to protect humans from other vampires.

Revolutionary Girl Utena - It's free on YouTube both dubbed and subbed. So much is happening. I am nowhere near done unravelling it and I may well be casting longing glances toward the project of unravelling it for the rest of my life. Utena Tenjou is a student at Ohtori Academy with dreams of being a prince straight out of a fairytale. She is drawn into a mysterious duelling tournament with Ohtori Academy's Student Council for the hand of the Rose Bride.

books:

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke - Utterly enchanting. A man called Piranesi wanders the House, a functionally infinite building so enormous its upper levels are filled with clouds and its lower levels are flooded and have tides. There is a plot, but most of my love of this book comes from how we as readers get to explore and luxuriate in the House alongside Piranesi. I've seen this called 'anti-horror' because it takes a premise that would be really easy to do as horror (forever lost in an enormous impossible structure with almost no human contact) and makes it something looked with wonder and joy.

Gingerbread by Helen Oyeyemi - Fun! Funny? Playful for sure. Almost a fairy tale. It feels distinctly like sometimes the narrator is winking at you. A woman from a country that doesn't seem to exist on any map attempts to tell her daughter about where she came from, and about their family's history with gingerbread.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson - A fairly significant part of the reason for my obsession with architectural / spatial horror. What if the thing that made a house haunted was not any particular ghost, but simply that something had gone wrong in the house itself? Eleanor Vance is invited to stay at the eponymous house while it is being investigated for supernatural occurrences, and attempts to navigate connecting with the other inhabitants of the house and escaping from the demands of caring for her mother.

My Own Devices by Dessa - I love Dessa's writing in whatever form it takes. I've seen plenty of writing described as 'sharp' or 'smart' but Dessa's one of the few people for whom I feel this is truly an apt description of her work. Her writing sounds like she talks fast, is terrifically smart, and knows what she's doing, and most terrifying of all, I think that impression is right. This is a series of essays, or it is, as the subtitle suggests, "True Stories from the Road on Music, Science, and Senseless Love". It's delicious to read.

How A Poem Moves by Adam Sol - I love poetry; I am so bad at reading and talking about it. This is a way into reading / talking about poetry better! It's a series of mini-essays by a professor at the University of Toronto who teaches poetry! He takes a fairly varied collection of contemporary poems and talks about a few things that each poem does particularly well. It's designed to be accessible and even inviting to people who do not read much poetry. For a taste of his work, his blog here.

When Fox Is A Thousand by Larissa Lai - A retelling of a Chinese folktale. A fox spirit haunts a young woman living in (roughly) contemporary Vancouver and a poet of the T’ang Dynasty. I remember reading this, going, "Oh, that was Good," and never figuring out how to say why.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt - Six deeply isolated classics students at a liberal arts college in New England murder one of their friends. Apparently a pretty big part of popularizing dark academia. I think it would be fair to describe this as gripping / compelling / convincing. I can't quite figure out what else to say, though I loved it while I was reading it.

On A Sunbeam by Tillie Walden - Graphic novel. Makes me ache in a way that reminds me of summer. I described it to a friend once as "full of that feeling of having to do something very frightening, and being reassured by the thought that you will be able to return to people you love for hugs and snacks afterward." A young woman named Mia joins the crew of a ship in charge of restoring ruins in outer space, while also searching for the girl she fell in love with years ago at boarding school. Available online free here, though physical copies do exist and can be bought.

[gaykarstaagforever]

One of the major sources David Paulides uses for any of his many renditions of mysterious disappearances in the Great Smokey Mountains is a single book on the topic by Juanitta Baldwin, from 1998.

Now, the Internet doesn't seem sure who this woman was, as the best biographical information I can find is from what is PROBABLY her obituary, from 2018. This says she died at 91, was retired from the Navy, and wrote 24 books. And also was a cofounder of Mensa...?!

Other sources say she was a "retired psychologist, who then became a recognized expert on kudzu." And indeed, lots of books about kudzu from an author with this name. Including cookbooks. And these are from before AI was a thing, so someone had to spend some time doing this.

The book Paulides cites was co-written by her when she was 71 (if this is the same person), and I found an old website bragging about how this book was "the bestseller" at the official Great Smokey Mountains National Park gift shop.

I'm trying not to be ageist and dismissive, here. But if all this disparate information is indeed connected, that means Paulides used as a major source a book cowritten by a retired unqualified amateur, who seems to have been pumping out lots of books, mostly as light novelty product for her specific region of the American Southeast.

That doesn't necessarily mean the research is bad, or that there wasn't dedication to journalistic accuracy. ...But it does heavily imply both things, and we're being dishonest if we don't admit that. And people have looked into them, and...yes, there is a lot of misleading or outright unsourced information presented here, which seems way more aimed at creating spooky missing persons narratives than actually detailing the facts of these cases. What a shock.

Why would Paulides use such an unreliable source? He had to know it wasn't sound.

...Unless, or course, he himself is an unqualified amateur, pumping out light novelty Missing 411 books as poorly-researched product. Which seems to exist primarily to imply Paulides's pet thesis, which is that Bigfoot is real, and abducts white people (for doubtless sexy reasons). Because, it seems, he knows that people who already think that are gullible stooges, who will pay you lots of money to tell them that they're NOT gullible stooges for thinking that.

And now YouTubers are using HIS books as sources for their True Crime videos. And most people watching them believe whatever they say, and don't even bother to look into it.

Fascinating, that we've come full-circle, to where YouTube is basically just the same crappy facts-lite pop culture infotainment us old people realized was useless crap when were were 15 in 1997.

Do you know how many shitty ghost / conspiracy / alternative history paperbacks / standard-definition DVDs I have in my house?? I'm nostalgic for it now. But it was NEVER sound, factual journalism. In fact, part of the fun was finding out how stupid and wrong it all was!

Fortunately, there are YouTubers who exist entirely to analyze and debunk this crap.

And their videos get an 8th of the views of the lazy content-farm ones, spewing ancient misinformation that was put out by elderly dilettantes, 30+ years ago.

Sigh.

[split-regardless]

I feel really lucky right this moment.

22 years old, watching YouTube on my living room TV during a thunderstorm. I'm watching a random scientific video essay about the first human head transplant (? I mean, okay. kinda dark but interesting).

Normally it's murder mysteries. I don't know why. It might (probably) be my mother. law & order, NCIS, forensic files (and every like show). For me, I mostly watch That Chapter & some of the other major ones.

Side side note (for real moment) - i think I have been noticing symptoms of OCD :> (AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH). I consider myself a pacifist. Yeah, I played Undertale. But fr fr. I am now hyper aware of sounding homicidal because I absolutely do not ever ever want to ever hurt anyone. I also got hospitalized because my ex boyfriend hit me and then called my therapist - who then only heard me screaming at him to get out - put out an involuntary hold on me. Which then turned into 9 days and ended up in an immediate ER visit (for lithium poisoning!!). I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 (because mood disorder, duh 🤪) and then I was treated for it for the next year and a half with antipsychotics which left me with no sense of self or purpose. The reason for the hospitalization was "homicidal".

I have hurt myself physically to show myself I don't want to do that to others. This was almost a decade ago.

To think of it, I don't really enjoy the true crime format. It's just familiar. Maybe because it was playing in the background on the TV at 11pm on a random weeknight in the foothills of abq in a random day in the 2010's.

Maybe it's a warning. I never got to play outside. It was "too dangerous" outside. I never thought it was during the day. It always was at night. Maybe that's why I freak out everytime I'm next to nearly closed blinds. There is absolutely somebody right there behind this glass. 22 years old and afraid of the dark.

I have a real reason, though. After several nights of hearing noise outside my window, one time I actually looked. It was my biological father, trying to break in to the house - My view had a view of the side yard in the backyard. It was overgrown with weeds, cactus, red flying ants & a dead cherry tree. It was closed off from the main yard with vines that resembled grapes (but we were never allowed to eat them(?). - I wasn't dumb though, I waited until I heard the gate close. I peaked out when I thought I waited long enough. He was standing right next to the opening of the gate, looking at me.

I would fall asleep, alone, rehearsing the 7 escape plans I had. Step 1 was to always save my siblings. I remember pushing my ear against the door, holding my breath, so scared to make a single noise because I was trying to hear what my parents were shouting about, at 10:37pm.

My mother convinced me there was someone out to get me in every direction. She told me that you always have to have one eye on the back of your head. Always look over your shoulder, especially when you think you're being followed. If somebody is following you in the car after 3 turns, it's suspicious. I wasn't close to anybody at school, except halfway one girl who pitied me. It was hard not to think the world wasn't against me.

"girls are your enemy" my mom recited. I never thought that to be true. I never really understood or connected with that part of myself outside of Easter dresses. With 2 "girl" friends (not in the gay way) under my belt, I moved to Colorado. Imagine how confusing it was when I figured out the next "girl" friend I had, I could not stop thinking about kissing for ,,,, several several years. (It never happened, which is ,,, okay).

I lived life divided. Isolated. Fragmented. Afraid. (for a very very long time). Maybe all of those parts of me tuned in to true crime to try to study suspicious situations, so that way I wouldn't be caught.

Being (perceived) female in this selfish & deprived world is terrifying.

I've been working for a long time trying to retake this power. I'm proud to say that I have. Even though I'm laying on my couch at 2:30am writing this silly little thing with a (now) youtube video about how Disney female protagonists need to stop being "awkdorable", which is true. This era of Disney princesses are kind of disappointing. Imagine the power of a heroic femme fatale saying no. Someone who is afraid but does it always. Someone brave.

,,,,,,,,,,

I know that there are parts of me in the future (& definitely the past) that would give anything to be sitting here in this timeless mindless dumb half high moment in the place I'm proud to call home.

I've worked hard to get to right here. I'm going to enjoy it.

[kgbird]

Did I tell y’all that my class did a “superlatives” thing? Like I never had that in high school or college or anything. But sga sent a google form out n asked people to vote stuff for other classmates.

And I was like ok another popularity contest. And I briefly worried that I would be nominated as greasiest, ugliest, weirdest, worst fashion/style, etc.

But they ended up doing one for everybody which whatever. And none of them were hateful so that’s something.

Mine was “most mysterious.” Like ofc I don’t care but I was like just say you don’t know me and let me go home. Its just a less rude way to call me the weirdest.

Other peoples had cute drawings on theirs and what not. I got scribbles and “the payback on yt” and I really don’t think it’s the James brown song. There’s a channel by that name but it is odd and has very few subs. And I srsly cant think of anything I’ve done to any of my classmates like I’ve never been mean to them or done smthn sneaky or literally anything. So I didn’t think that’s what they meant by payback. Also there was a picture of sunglasses and the yt channel uses those same glasses. I haven’t watched the vids but they look odd and maybe true crime which I don’t even like so I really don’t know. Insight welcome.

But anyway I would have preferred to have not gotten anything at all frankly. They didn’t have to include everybody. Just let it be the popularity contest it’s supposed to be. At least I didn’t overtly get called out and ik I’m the only person who remembers it.

Like I know I’m weird and off-putting and awkward in social situations but I mean… whatever idk what I expected

What’s weird is that I know at least two people who put me in for “best music taste” which was super sweet and that’s what I gotta focus on is the people who DO care to know me. But like if two people said that, why did you just… not use that? And instead actually think and work to come up with something to deliberately jab me. And the YouTube channel like idgi.

Kevin got most likely to answer every question correctly and idk why everyone loves him even tho he’s just as awkward as I am. Anyone I’ve talked to abt it says it’s bc he’s a guy. Like literally my therapist was like the hades gif “he’s a GUY!”

Mackenzie got “most likely to work in the ER” which, she hates the ER. But that is what she did for hours and I guess that’s the only thing ppl know abt her. I def think the two of us are on the bottom of the totem pole, but it doesn’t matter really cause it’s no big deal in the grand scheme, and this year I won’t be seeing anyone anyways. Plus there’s not as clearly defined social strata like high school.

Lowkey Mackenzie was trying to get in on my pity party about how no one cares about her either. And on one hand true igi but the other I was like,,, at least they knew SOMETHING about you to say… so let me have this lol.

So it’s whatever idc but I’m afraid that when I finish this rotation and any of my classmates get assigned to the office I’m at now… technically we’re not supposed to talk about each other in the clinical setting but. I have a feeling that one nurse in particular would talk to this theoretical classmate of mine and whoever it is will dump on me or whatever.

And I don’t dislike the nurse he’s just a kid so whatever but he’s also super smart in the same way kevin is. But even the other nurses or the other providers or anything! I KNOW I’ll never hear from them again but I’m scared that they’ll all talk about how weird I am. Or, to a slightly lesser degree, they’ll like my classmate a lot more than they like me and think they’re smarter than me and better w patients and not such a little crybaby. I really try to be nice at word and all that but I literally can’t help being weird like I’ve tried to be normal, but it’s so stressful bc I’m afraid people will see through it.

And I know: so what if people you’ll never see again think you’re weird? What’s the worst that could happen/whats it to you? And idk how to answer that because short of failing the rotation, that feels like the worst thing that could happen. Like if there was something I could actively do to prevent that I would. But like I said when I try, I get extremely stressed and frustrated and overwhelmed and depressed. Idk ig if the yt thing makes any sense to you, lmk.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

309 of 2023

How are you doing today?

Kinda tired, but okay. And cold.

What day of the week is it?

Tuesday.

What’s something you used to believe in that you don’t anymore?

That everyone is good.

What do you admire most in a person?

Honesty, being genuine, kindness, compassion.

What’s your favorite dinosaur?

I don’t give a fuck about dinosaurs.

Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, what would you like to be reincarnated as?

I have no opinion, but if it’s treally a thing, then I’d love to be reborn as someone’s beloved pet cat.

What are 3 scents that you like?

Cinnamon, vanilla, sea air.

Do you ever use the grounding technique 54321?

Never heard of it.

What’s the silliest thing you’ve gotten injured from?

Having sex lol.

What’s the weirdest food combination you enjoy?

I don’t know, really. Cheese with fruits?

Where would you relocate if you were forced to leave your place of residence?

Gladly.

Do you play any instruments?

I’m afraid you need two good hands to do it, so no.

What is an unpopular opinion you have?

Mango is disgusting.

Have you ever done a crazy dare?

Yeah, ate a bit of dry cat food. Tasted like nothing lol.

What’s your favorite type of cheese or cheese substitute?

Gouda lol. I don’t like any cheese substitutes.

What are things you still enjoy from your childhood?

The beach.

What smells better.. fresh baked bread or fresh brewed coffee?

Both, don’t make me choose.

What’s the oddest text you’ve received recently?

Something about a baloon-like object in Poland that fell somewhere and if I find it, I shall call the police lol.

What’s something you believe everyone should have?

Confidence.

What’s the first thing you do once you get home from a trip?

Probably pee.

What has been the worst kitchen mishap you’ve made?

Burning myself with boiliong water? I have no idea.

Do you know how your parents met?

Yeah, they’ve been knowing each other since my mum was 7.

Do you believe love is blind?

Sometimes. It might hurt.

If you could get away with it, what crime would you commit?

Lol what a question.

If you owned a restaurant, what would you serve?

Belgian food. It’s much more than fries and waffles.

Have you ever met a president?

I live in a kingdom.

What food tastes better than its appearance to you?

No idea.

Do you actively post on social media?

Only on YouTube and sometimes on Instagram.

What was your favorite childhood book?

Pelle Svanslös. It’s about a cat without tail.

Do you ever experience intrusive thoughts?

Yeah, sometimes. It’s a part of my OCD.

What do you consider to be the smartest animal?

Elephants. They’re incrediby smart.

What movies make you laugh the most?

I don’t watch movies.

What’s a product you use everyday that you wish you could get a lifetime supply of?

My medication lmao. If it doesn’t count, then deodorants and perfume.

What’s the best name you’ve heard a pet named?

I don’t know, honestly. I like human names for my cats. I think the funniest and the creepiest at the same time was Stalin.

What always makes your day better?

Train trips around the country.

Would you rather have multiple hobbies or 1 true passion?

I have two true passions and it feels amazing.

Coffee or tea?

Hot chocolate. Not gonna drink coffee anymore.

Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones?

I do, on Spotify. Mostly about unexplained mysteries and conspiracy theories.

Would you say you’re good at saving money?

Yes, but no. I spend much on train tickets.

Have you ever ridden in the front of a roller coaster?

I’ve never ridden in any and I don’t intend to.

Would you rather have free massages for a year or facials?

Massages, I think it would do me good as for my arm muscles.

When was the last time you’ve had an adrenaline rush?

Going to Poland for vacation, I was excited.

Have you ever used a whole chapstick?

I don’t use such things, apparently I’m not gay enough lol.

Has anyone ever given you a gag gift?

Not sure what this question means.

[bergaralovebot]

You may recognize Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara as the ghoul boys who helped grow the Buzzfeed Unsolved YouTube channel into an immensely popular true-crime destination. Now the duo (along with fellow Buzzfeed vet Steven Lim) are running their own video production studio, Watcher, where they indulge their oddest inclinations for an audience of millions.

In addition to hunting haunts in "Ghost Files,"(Opens in a new tab) Madej and Bergara pal around with puppets on "Puppet History,"(Opens in a new tab) visit hidden gems in "Weird Wonderful World,"(Opens in a new tab) and rank their perfect picks in "Top 5 Beatdown."(Opens in a new tab) In just three years, Watcher has released over a dozen stellar series, and they're just getting started.

Today they teased a new show, "Mystery Files,"(Opens in a new tab) which will see the two besties explaining their most "unusual, unexplained, and unhinged" internet deep dives to each other. So we asked them both to dig into their own internet history to dish on their recent video dives.

1. "RMS Titanic Real Time Sinking Remastered"

Mashable: You guys really hit my sweet spot with the videos you picked! The Titanic and Disneyland.

Bergara: I think I know what Titanic video you're talking about. I've watched it.

Madej: I've talked about it before. It's back in my mind because they announced they're re-releasing the movie in theaters.

I did not peg you two for true Titanic fans.

M: I mean, the movie is incredible.

You mean that unironically?

M: The romance is a little cheesy and James Cameron is not the most talented when it comes to writing human emotions, but the spectacle of that movie is just unrivaled.

B: I think it's an excellent film, full stop.

I agree, but I still can't tell if you're joking.

M & B: No, we're serious.

Me, too! It was one of my favorite movies as a teen. I was just home for Christmas and forgot I have a Collector's Edition DVD. I was hardcore.

B: Does it fold out into a boat?

No, it's very boring. Just a photo of Rose on one disc and Jack on another.

M: And when you close it do they kiss?

Oh my god, I'm not sure.

B: That's a missed opportunity, it could have been so many different things… like a smokestack. The iceberg!

M: The floating door.

I'm loving this Titanic super fan meet up. Ryan, you've watched the video through once? Twice?

B: I've watched it one time all the way through. I think you'd have to be a borderline psychopath to watch it all the way through multiple times. It's a three-and-a half-hour video. But it is haunting to watch in real time. I love the the audio snippets they put in, like the captain's voice. And of course the obvious haunting quality of all the screams [smiles].

M: I think the channel first uploaded this because they were trying to raise money for a Titanic video game they were developing. The neat thing that they do in it, and I think it's because the developers are so intimately aware of the timeline, is throughout the video they have little factoids that pop up like "at this point they put this lifeboat down."

B: You do get the feeling of how long it actually took or, I guess, how quickly it took for it to fully go down. You put yourself into the situation with each new factoid going, "OK maybe that's not so bad, it's still floating" then you're like, "Well, that one's kind of bad" and then suddenly it's "oh, we're going to fucking die."

M: It goes belly up so quickly at the end, it's unnerving. Ryan says this would be in very poor taste, but I've always wanted to have a party where we dress up as people on the Titanic, and we project the video and start out like "oh yay!" you know, and the night just proceeds. [Ryan puts head in his hands].

B: He wanted to do a pool party.

M: I don't know that I ever said that, that's a bit sick.

B: Oh yeah, I'm the one that's sick. Who would you go as?

M: Probably Molly Brown

B: You'd throw a party where people died and you'd be the only one that lives!?

M: Sure, yeah.

B: I'd go as the violinist. I don't know if it's factually accurate, if they actually played until the end, but the movie dialogue is really fun stuff. I'm a Chargers fan — and now these are two really weird worlds colliding — but we're not very good usually, and when I know we're about to get eliminated, [my friends and I] will all say "It's been a pleasure playing with you gentlemen," and then we'll drink our sorrows away and watch our team lose.

2. "Inside Aaron Paul’s Rustic Riverside Home In Idaho"

B: Look, I'm sad that I had to pick one perfect Architectural Digest video and this makes it seem like I am just obsessed with Aaron Paul. I will say that this is one of my favorites in the series, but I generally just love looking at these celebrity houses. It's the perfect amount of escapism. I just love seeing how people lives their lives.

Aaron Paul's house is insane. It's this giant cabin in Idaho with a dedicated gambling room, sauna and a spa, a log shed — it's pretty sick to have a log shed [Shane laughs]— a massive fireplace. I don't know why celebrity home tours bring me so much relaxation and joy. There's this element of all the sudden you're sitting on this ivory tower judging everybody like, "Well, I don't know about that [choice]."

My favorite part is when celebrities talk about art. It's so insufferable. They'll say words like, "This piece right here really speaks to me" [or] "I saw this when I was in Italy walking around this museum, and I just had to have it." None of the stories are profound. But they have to whip up some anecdote to justify the ridiculous price tag of the art they have.

My wife [Mari] and I always joke that if one day our home is featured on Architectural Digest, we're going to treat our art with the same kind of reverence they do, as if it's in the Getty or something. We really love the movie Dumb and Dumber, and there's that one shot where the giant dog van is flying over a hill, and I want to get a frame of that, blow it up, and hang it alongside frames from other stupid movies. And just force the AD crew to sit there and listen to us talk about them. If that makes it into AD, you heard it here first! And it was Mari's idea.

M: My favorite AD moment is… Ryan, are you aware of Dakota Johnson's limes?

B: I am, yeah.

M: That's the thing is that AD comes over to your house and set dresses it. They'll put a bowl of limes out.

As an AD connoisseur, what are some other AD best-ofs?

B: I really dig Kendall Jenner's house. The design and the flow... the whole thing was surprisingly calming and comfy, which is not something I would expect from someone in the Kardashian family. I expect very modern, sleek, cold. She had a painting room, that was sick.

I like the ones that look like they are actually meant to be lived in, not one that looks like an interior designer came in to do it all. I recently watched one and, I won't say her name, but her house literally looks like the Getty.

Are you not saying her name because her name is Emma Chamberlain?

B: [Laughs] No! Her house was fun and homey. But there was somebody whose house was very modern. I'm not into talking trash, but I didn't like the house.

It's hard when I reach the end of this particular series, because I have to wait for the next one, and I'm very frustrated by having to wait for so long. And now I get it when people scream at me on the street, "Where's Ghost Files!? Why isn't it here!?" They have no idea what it takes to make the series just like I have no idea what it's like to have the AD camera crew come into my home. I probably wouldn't clean at all. I won't even put the shoot in my calendar, I'll just add an unnamed time block. When they show up at my door I'll open it wearing whatever I have on that day. But it'll probably never happen.

Not with that attitude it won't!

B: That's actually how I approach everything in life. You can ask Shane; almost everything that we've ever accomplished there's been some point in history before that where I've said, "This probably is not going to happen," and Shane tends to be more positive.

[Shane squints at the ceiling in thought.]

B: I would describe him as indifferently optimistic. I tend to be pessimistic, Steven is very optimistic, and Shane is pretty optimistic.

M: I think I'm more optimistic than Steven.

B: Jesus Christ, OK! You're the most optimistic guy I know.

M: Thank you.

3. "Miami Boat Ramps"

Shane, what's up with the boats?

M: I'm trying to remember how I happened upon this channel. I'm not a boater, I've never driven a boat, and I've never been to Miami. But Miami's boat ramps… I guess I didn't realize there was so much humanity down there.

This person camps out at the boat docks or, excuse me, boat ramps, and he must go out every day to film and then compile the day's happenings and slap some color commentary on it. It's just a fascinating channel. The drama is pretty pitiful. Sometimes there'll be a party boat, sometimes it'll be someone who's really blasting in a no wake zone(Opens in a new tab), but you see people get angry at each other, there are fights, boat sinking.

I find myself now watching a lot of videos of human hosts, where the camera is sort of observing things. I love it, it scratches an itch and is sort of a comfort thing. During the peak of the quarantine, I would watch a lot of walking tours. All of my friends and I would sync [the same video]. So we'd say like, "Let's go to Oslo tonight!" and then you know slowly people get tired and fall asleep and log off. There are some good ones of Japan; they have a lot of festivals there so [the video would] be of a whole crowd of people walking through the street as fireworks are going off in the distance. It's really beautiful.

4. "LeBron Unreal Birthday Game"

B: When I was picking videos, I tried to put as little thought as possible, by which I mean… I am sure I could have found some YouTube videos that make me seem cultured and interesting. But I was like, "I'm just gonna go with channels I consistently watch all the time: Architectural Digest and House of Highlights," which I just realized are sort of punny.

Anyways, I watch House of Highlights like the typical bro dude sports guy every night before I fall to sleep. To get myself relaxed I'll watch who had good games that day or highlights of Lebron or Kevan Durant. I like watching people be great. Lebron for instance, the guy is doing crazy things at 38 years old, been in the league 20 years. No one is putting up the numbers he's putting up at this age, with his mileage.

I'm a Kobe guy, I've always been a Kobe guy, but watching Lebron right now is pretty crazy. By the end of the year — and he might have already — he will pass Kareem Abdul Jabar for most points scored in the NBA. He's on a tear right now.

The way you talk about basketball is the way I talk to a stranger about K-pop.

B: [Laughs] The thing about basketball is that I've played it my whole life, and I have an appreciation for how amazing these guys are, the things they're doing. And someone like LeBron, or any NBA player, is doing things that, even if I dedicated every moment of my life to it, I would never be able to do.

5. "Something's Wrong with Worf"

M: This channel takes scenes from Star Trek: The Next Generation, which must have a pretty robust outtakes archive, and edits a small snippet from the outtake into the overall scene. It's really good. There'll be something serious happening and in the middle someone will do something weird, and then it'll keep going as it was before. They look like they have a lot of fun on set.

Anyways, it's worth a watch. You don't really have to be a fan of Star Trek to enjoy it. I'm not too steeped in Next Generation, I watched a lot of Voyager growing up, and I started Star Trek: Deep Space Nine during the pandemic. I just love outtakes, man. I'm sure Ryan will be with me on this, but at the end of the year when they have like "2022 news bloopers" compilations [on YouTube], I watch them all.

B: Same, Mari and I will just sit down on the couch and binge them.

My favorite is "I wanted donuts."(Opens in a new tab)

B: I don't that know that one but I love learning about a new news blooper to add to the rolodex. Have you seen "woman struck by lightning speaks?"(Opens in a new tab) Basically, this lady was struck by lightning, and they talk about how she shocked everyone when she survived. It shows her trying to walk and then cuts to a clip of her in a hospital bed about to speak, and the clip glitches and she goes "adadadada" and the news anchor tries so hard to keep it together. "Mr. Wacky"(Opens in a new tab) is also very funny, Shane, you can explain.

M: I think it was in San Diego, a few years ago. They were having an inflatable fair with blown-up playgrounds and obstacle courses, and the reporter on scene is this older, really jovial fella who's really trying to make the piece fun but every question he asks and turn of phrase he uses is at odds with his whole aim. Like at the top of the segment he is talking back to the studio and he's like, "Is inflation in our world a good thing or a bad thing?" and the guy in the studio is like, "What!?" He asks the crowd insane questions like, "What kind of fun do you hope to have here today?" He tries to get everyone to chant.

What happened to this man? Is he still employed?

M: Oh yeah, I think he's pretty beloved down there. The whole piece is beautiful. Finally, he introduces a guy dressed up as an inflatable Mr. Wacky. And he saves the whole thing. The reporter asks him, "Do you think the people here will turn into inflatables today?" and Mr. Wacky says "I don't know, do they want to be inflatables?" I still reference the video almost weekly.

It's so funny that you two and I are on the same internet watching the same goofy things, but not quite.

B: I love this kind of conversation because whenever Shane and I travel for Ghost Files and have a new crew member, we'll talk about our favorite news clips and the crew member will always have another news clip we have not heard of. So I become a rolling snowball, gathering more and more news clips.

You should do a Top 5 Beatdown for news clips.

B: That's an amazing idea. I would watch the shit out of that. I gotta look into that, talk to our legal team.

6. "Disney's FastPass: A Complicated History"

I'm a huge Defunctland stan.

B: I love Defunctland. I've actually met him. I was shocked when I heard his voice, he just sounds like that. I was legitimately starstruck. He does amazing content that's cinematic quality. For anyone that doesn't know, his channel breaks down the history of defunct attractions. It's really a nice dose of nostalgia. And of course every Disney fan is kind of a snob in a way where we'll have heavy opinions about what is wrong with certain rides.

I want to say even if you're not a theme park freak, you'll still enjoy this video because it's so well made, but I can't say for sure. It breaks down how Disney thought of the FastPass, why it's flawed, how they've changed it. That doesn't sound like an investigative piece of journalism, but it is.

Are you a Disney snob?

B: Oh yeah, a "passholder" is what we call ourselves. I have an annual pass.

I like to think I'm a cool Disney adult. I'm not one of those Disney adults.

B: I don't think that's possible, but I live in that hope as well. I am also totally fine being [called] like, "You're a Disney adult, you're a big nerd." Whatever dude! I'm gonna hop on Space Mountain, then I'm gonna hop on Indiana Jones and grab a corndog on the way over because that's the right thing to do. And you're going to go there and stand in hour-long lines, and I'm not because I know how to game the system. And I'm fine with that. If you're going to call me a nerd, I'll wear that badge proudly.

I've lived in LA my whole life, and I went to Chapman University where I could ride my bike to Disneyland, so I would go all the time between classes. I would study there sometimes, sit on Main Street and do my homework. There was one year where I went 155 times according to my pass, which is insane.

You would go to a cafe on Main Street and study?

B: Yeah, or sit on the benches and people watch. Sometimes I would go and not even get on a ride.

That sounds so nice.

B: It's so nice. I have two friends who are just as deeply crazy as me, and we made a podcast during the pandemic where we discuss, like, top five Disneyland restaurants, top five rides, top five sounds. We always talk about how we're scraping the bottom of the barrel because we've already watched all of Defunctland, Yesterworld(Opens in a new tab), Theme Park History(Opens in a new tab) [videos on YouTube]. I also like those ambient videos of people walking through theme parks. I watched those all the time during the height of the pandemic just to get me through. And now I'm watching roller coaster nerd stuff.

I get that because I watched POV ride throughs of the rides during the pandemic. Have you seen the POV of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Shanghai Disney? It's incredible.

B: No, no that's one of the rules. I don't watch POVs of rides I haven't been on yet because it'll ruin the experience for me and I know Shanghai Disney has next-level animatronics. Like, I've watched so many walk through videos that it's not that fun when you know the route they're going to go. So there's this channel Document Disney(Opens in a new tab) that I watch and it's for that specific niche of sad person and they will walk a different route every video.

[Mashable and Bergara discuss Disneyland podcasts and lore for seven minutes.]

Sorry Shane.

[Madej shrugs]

B: OK, this is the last thing I'll say about Disney, which is that I think there is a brand of Disney adult that truly loves going to the park to have a good time, and then there's another type where it's their personality and they get upset about people talking badly about the parks. I am not that. People who watch our channel, they don't go "oh, that guy is obsessed with Disneyland." There's Disney adult lite and Disney adult scary, and I'm lite.

7. "Beautiful Tornadoes"

M: This is a channel I found recently, and growing up in Illinois I think I'm just morbidly fascinated with tornadoes. As far as natural disasters go, they're the most terrifying to me, personally. I've been in a couple small earthquakes out here [in Los Angeles], and I can imagine a big one can be pretty terrifying. There's something about tornadoes, they look biblical and monstrous in a way that an earthquake does not. Like, you can see it in the distance, and it could move toward you, and there's something about that that is very unnerving to me. I've always loved watching tornado videos but only recently did I run across ones that are really HD. And now they have drones. 

B: How does that work, how do the drones not get pulled in?

M: You can get pretty close to them. I think the people that operate them are clued in to how close they can get without losing their beautiful drones. This channel, in particular, is a guy who has a very poetic approach — he scores all of his own videos. He has a guitar, and he'll punch in on a tornado for a while and play these haunting [songs], almost like Gustavo Santaolalla, the guy who did the soundtrack for The Last of Us video game.

I don't know what he does in the off season, but in the summer and spring time he's out there. I don't know how they track them, but the sheer number of tornadoes he's been able to hunt down is impressive.

I was watching this video with captions on and whoever does them calls tornadoes "burritos." So the caption will read, like, "The town of Lockett [was] impacted by a large rain-wrapped EF-3 burrito" or light dust "revealed this distant weak burrito" or "you might be amazed at the wind turbines strength... while taking direct hits from this burrito."

B: Shane, did you see there was a tornado warning in LA?

M: No! I feel like there's a warning for even the slightest funnel, but I'm actually gonna look this up, get an eye on that burrito.

You don't find wildfires scarier than tornadoes?

M: I know that wildfires spread quickly and can really take people by surprise, and if you're in a remote location it's hard to get out because the smoke is so thick. Tornadoes, though, are so quick, come out of nowhere, and you can't anticipate where they're going to go. It's interesting to watch the videos, too, because there are different kinds of them. Also, I'm very excited for the Twister sequel.

B: Oh shit, there's a Twister sequel? Is Helen Hunt in it?

M: Yeah, they're working in it and probably. But there's this kind of tornado called "drill bit tornadoes" and the funnel is so concentrated that you can see it tearing a hole in the ground as it goes. It's creepy. They're so scary to me. A lot of the times they don't cause a lot of damage, but when they do it's staggering, and it'll kill a lot of people. Because If it goes through the center of a town, it's chaos.

B: Was the first tornado you saw on film the Wizard of Oz? And did you love that scene and wear out the tape on your VHS rewinding that shit as a little kid, nose to the screen?

[Both laugh]

M: I don't know that I was fascinated by them when I was younger, I was scared of them. We would have a tornado warning, and we didn't have a basement so we'd have to go to the center of the house and board up the windows. We had a few close calls.

B: That's even weirder that you like them, then. Because I like Michael Myers, but if he was a real dude living in my neighborhood, I wouldn't like the Halloween films so much. The fact that you had tornadoes around you all the time and then became obsessed with them is a window into your psyche, which is a weird place.

M: Well, you know, I want to understand them.

B: I guess that's true. I hunt ghosts, and I'm terrified of them.

M: Yeah, see! What about that.

B: Shane, was it hard for you to narrow your list down for this interview? There were so many videos I had trouble picking between.

M: Yes! We should just turn this into a regular interview. We're perfect for it because whenever we travel on long road trips, it becomes a rotating carousel of "what about this video?"

B: We all have our own little subsets, I love watching collection videos on YouTube. I like when people take your through their collection of whatever it is. Especially sneaker and watch collections. It could be the strangest things, like gnomes. I just like watching people be really passionate about things they've collected over their lifetime. It relaxes me.

M: Like I said, we're happy to do a round two. We have a lot to cover.

[onebadnoodle]

there are two categories of mystery/true crime youtubers

[soulmate-game]

I… don’t know if this is the right place to talk about this? But, well. My girlfriend is at work and can’t respond right now, and I don’t have a huge friend group irl, mostly work friends I’m not super close to and my family. But I really need to run this idea by somebody and get feedback, so I figured you guys may have some feedback to give me? Idk.

Anyway. I recently started working at a call center, and I’ve been getting a few comments here and there about people saying I should do voiceovers or something. Which, I mean, I try not to take too seriously. But I’ve also really wanted to do YouTube or Twitch or something, and I’ve toyed with the idea of being a Vtuber before. I think I might have finally put together my ideas and passions enough to find a niche, though.

I love mystery and crime. Which… might not be super surprising considering I partially write about Batman, and that’s likely what you guys follow me for. I’ve always been a huge crime and mystery junkie, but true crime on YouTube (in my opinion) and stuff gets too invasive and sometimes even insensitive for me to consider it for myself. That’s just me. But, well… I also recently got super into Hunt a Killer, which if you don’t know is a murder mystery game company.

If you have ever played Hunt A Killer, you’ll know that their games involve a lot of reading. It’s fashioned to be like real investigations, so there are a lot of witness testimonies, case descriptions, and other documents that you have to read word for word in order to get to the clues you need. I don’t mind it myself, I can breeze through thousands of words of reading on any old day. But it can be hard for some people to maybe maintain focus that long, or maybe it’s physically hard for them to read so much printed wording. Or, even, maybe people just want to listen to it or find it easier to pick out important details if they have a narration to read along to.

This brings my question; I have some minor experience with video and audio editing. If I started a channel narrating Hunt a Killer mystery games, with one video as spoiler-free narration of the included materials, one video explaining the significance of each piece of evidence and how to solve codes, and one video giving the solution and breaking down how to get to that conclusion… is that a good idea? Is it something you’d be interested in watching, or know someone else who may like watching it?

[ackerfics]

hi, rory! <3 what majors would the sc veterans take if they were in the modern world?

hi, anon !! thank you so much for this ask, this is heaven in disguise from all my schoolwork. tbh, the whole time i was working for a lab report, my mind will go back to this ask bc i wanted to have the association as accurate as possible hhhajshw

i asked one of my friends for help and thank God for them bc my single brain cell really said 'it's time for you to rest' after staring at one backlog. without further ado, here are the veterans' majors if they're studying in university:

first off, hange zoe, because if you ask me this question in real life, they would be the only one i can answer. every damn time i would think of them in a college setting, being a biology major is really hange's forte. at this point, this is what everyone would associate them with.

hange is all about experimenting and doing brilliant breakthroughs in any field of science but knowing that they have this unparalleled fascination with the unusual and unexpected life-forms (ahem titans ahem), the biology lab would be the surest place where you could find hange. i feel like biology is too broad so i will add that microbiology or bacteriology are just some of the specializations they will be taking in their time in college.

imagine, being lab partners with hange and immediately knowing that you will have one of the highest grades in the class because they're that well-versed in a specific lab report. and if you're partners with them for the rest of the academic year, you might as well have a shot at an immaculate grade. i'm not saying that you should depend on them too much though hHHHH, hange is still a member of the majority of the student body who relies heavily on caffeine to keep them invigorated. who isn't at this point?

so far, some of the biology majors that i encountered (well, more like chatted behind a screen — online classes suck), they have this energy that could drain my social battery too quickly and hange fits that description. (note that this doesn't apply to any college bc i observed this in mine soooo 🤭) they're the type to always go on a tangent on a certain science article or coerce you into joining this org thing. i can imagine levi just looking at hange like they're the one sucking his brain cells out whenever they speak about a documentary in bbc they watched the night before.

and if you're stuck on anything biology-related, hange will be the best person to ask help from. they're the first ray of sunlight you get while waking up. they're that approachable.

okay, so erwin smith.

don't come at me but he just radiates this ceo vibes and with that, one of his probably majors is business administration. i know this is so stereotypical of me but let's face it, erwin is a smooth talker through and through and if he doesn't take up marketing, business is one way to spend his college years. knowing his personality in attack on titan of establishing deals easily with a determined resolve, he fits the broadest description of being a business administration major. (again, don't come at me because my consultant for this statement is google and nobody comes after google sometimes hhhhh)

just for the benefit of myself, i will add what google says about this major, "[they] learn the mechanics of business through classes in fundamentals, such as finance, accounting and marketing ... students find ways to solve problems using data and they develop communication and managerial skills." and i thank you.

he's also probably the most well-spoken and most professional when conversing with others among his friends (and i'm not saying this to drag the other characters but this is what i pick up on) and that is exactly the qualities his major specializes. it is expected for them to strike deals and be a people person and who better character for the job than our very own erwin smith 🤩

now i mentioned 'one of the probable majors' and yes, aside from business administration, philosophy just exudes erwin smith. ngl, when i imagined erwin in a college setting, this major will always come first. his mind is just so sexy to me??? and i hope you guys think the same, too, because i don't want to be the only one who thinks that 👀 kidding aside, erwin is one of the smartest people in attack on titan and every time he speaks in one episode, my brain will instantly go mush, and that's what i feel when i hear philosophy majors talk.

philosophy majors (according to any other youtuber who does lookbooks for various majors hhhhhh) challenge what is unanswerable and analyze questions with no right answer. i feel like erwin, like hange, will talk all night to explain a theory. just imagine a date with him and you just listen to him rant about a topic that they should be making a report on. just listen to this man, okay?? it's adorable when he lets his guard down to include you in his little bubble of philosophies. he would also mention random things that he learned in classes, sometimes finding joy in knowing the philosophies of other people, or even deciphering levi's dream of an apocalyptic world. (it pisses levi off but he just leave him be.)

if you want a man who can do both of these majors, erwin smith is the answer 😉

sigh, mike zacharias.

this man holds so many talents and will forever amaze me.

i assume all of us here watched the movie perfume. and no, i'm not saying that mike is going to be a murderer but just like the main character of that film, making perfumes will be his forte with that sense of smell of his. and here, i conclude that mike will definitely take up chemical engineering.

he gives me the vibes that if it covers the one thing he does best, he will love his major. (mr. zacharias, can you please spare me that quality because i really need that now 😩) being in the labs while experimenting mundane things that can be found in the environment to create different scents is also a likely situation you can find him in, again, very much like hange. he's the type of student who really puts so much effort in staying afloat the honors list, even to the point of topping midterms in his major, for the sake of his dream. there will never be a moment where you will catch him complain about his major and professors.

he's that type of friend in college who agrees to any rant you say but in reality, he's got his life easy 😭

i headcanon mike owning a perfume shop after college just like how levi always dreamed of having a tea shop.

okay, imagine this little scenario if you're dating mike where he creates this unique perfumes as random gifts for you. they're not the typical perfumes that can seep through the room and can make you gag for no reason, they're subtle scents that will stay for the duration of the day. because again, he's got a sensitive nose, so making perfumes according to what his sense of smell dictates will always result in a revolutionary experiment. if you're randomly blurting out that you want a fusion of flowers and fruits as your perfume, say no more, he's your man.

now, the veteran who i find the hardest to associate a major with — levi ackerman.

after much deliberation and a break from plant physiology, i see him taking up law or criminology.

(i asked some of this from my mom because she attended law school :>>>)

levi is so organized and detailed in the things that he do and he fits in either of these majors since they require tedious memorizations and analysis of laws and crime scenes while being assertive enough to defend someone. he's the typical person who blurts out the true situation of a crime scene when watching film adaptations. yeah, he's that person, the one who sucks the enthusiasm out of you while watching a movie because he just had to correct some of the scenes. nevertheless, he means well though, he just wanted you to understand the reality unlike how films portray gruesome murders. movie nights always end up with levi ranting about half-assed mystery clichés.

levi's binder of readings are always too bright for everyone's good. his notes are full of highlighters and scribbles that it can blind someone. for one, he's always up all night studying his readings and cases for a practice court so by choosing neon highlighters, it's a way for him to wake up. there isn't one book in his possession that he doesn't highlight like it's a fricking coloring book. hange once jokingly said that his binder now acts like his bible and for once, he agrees because he was never seen without one. hange had a field day since levi never agrees with them.

when doing practice courts though, his go-to resting bitch face always come in handy when carrying out his role as one of the lawyers. he's just so sexy with his hands in the pockets of his slacks as he tries to justify his supposed client. the way he questions the accused definitely isn't hot because he's like one of the panelists in your thesis defense, the one who just comes up with questions that have you melting on the spot. he's dangerous i tell you. it also doesn't help if you accidentally hurt one of his friends or just landed randomly in his blacklist for being annoying as hell. relax though, he doesn't mean harm other than the fact that he's ready to throw some hands from all the pent-up rage he gathered in his body.

of course, i couldn't forget how he dresses up like a typical dark academia fanatic so look out for eye-candy.

if you want someone who can recite articles from the constitution, this man is perfect for you 😌

i had so much fun doing this !! again, i'm not generalizing every major i've talked about in these little headcanons, this is all for fun and based on the people i encountered in college. if you want more of this, don't hesitate to ask !! 😚

[onlydylanobrien]

Dylan O'Brien - NME Magazine Interview

Dylan O’Brien: “I was in this transitional phase – close to a quarter-life crisis”

From YA heartthrob to legitimate leading man – how the 'Maze Runner' star hit his stride after a whirlwind decade

Definitely!” hoots Dylan O’Brien when NME asks if he still has to audition. “I’m not Tom fucking Hanks, bro.” He’s clearly amused by our question, but forgive us for thinking the 29-year-old actor gets cast on reputation alone. A decade into his career, and he’s making an impressive transition from teen TV star and YA franchise hero to charismatic leading man.

New York-born O’Brien cut his teeth on MTV’s hit Teen Wolf series, before landing the lead in the Maze Runner film trilogy based on James Dashner’s hugely popular novels. Leading a band of bright young things that included ex-Skins tearaway Kaya Scodelario, Game Of Thrones’ Thomas Brodie-Sangster and Will Poulter, he honed his craft while racking up nearly a billion dollars at the box office. “My career is a constant acting class,” says O’Brien. “To be able to do the Maze Runner movies simultaneously with Teen Wolf was amazing in terms of getting in reps and working my [acting] muscle.”

Now for the sometimes tricky bit. Many actors struggle with the post-breakout period, but O’Brien is making it look easy so far. This year’s Netflix hit Love and Monsters proved he can carry an old-school family adventure, and new film Flashback (out next week) reveals an appetite for weirder, more cerebral work. He stars as Fred Fitzell, a young man reluctant to buckle down to life as a nine-to-fiver with a boring corporate job and a long-term girlfriend (Mindhunter‘s Hannah Gross). When he runs into a freaky-looking acquaintance from his teenage years, Fred becomes obsessed with finding an old high-school friend he used to drop a mind-bending experimental drug called Mercury with. It’s difficult to say any more without entering spoiler territory, but Flashback is a wild ride underpinned by the idea that we can exist in several realities at once. Even if you follow every plot twist, you might not fully understand the end. “Oh, it’s definitely a headfuck,” O’Brien agrees. “There’s not totally an answer to figure out. There’s a lot of different things that people can take from it.”

Speaking over Zoom from his LA home, O’Brien is bright, thoughtful and really good fun to talk to, especially when he relaxes into the interview, but he clearly knows where his line between public and private lies. When he first read the Flashback script, written by the film’s director Christopher MacBride, his “mind was blown” by just how much he related to Fred. “I felt like I was in this transitional phase of my life that was, you know, sort of close to a quarter-life crisis type thing,” he says. “For whatever reason, it was like me and this script were meant to be. I remember reading it and thinking: ‘I am this guy right now.'”

“There were a lot of things in my personal life that were neglected for a while”

When we ask why O’Brien felt as though he had reached a “transitional phase”, he gives an answer that’s vague but not exactly evasive. For understandable reasons, he doesn’t mention the incredibly traumatic motorcycle accident he sustained while shooting the final Maze Runner film in March 2016. O’Brien suffered severe trauma to the brain and said in 2017 that he underwent extensive facial reconstructive surgery after the accident “broke most of the right side of my face”. Tellingly, he’s never really revealed what happened on set or how it affected him.

Today, O’Brien dances around the details of the accident and other issues he was dealing with at the time, but doesn’t shy away from discussing his inner conflict. “You know, it was a lot of personal things combined with at-a-point-in-my-career things,” he says after a brief pause. He says he’d have been going through some of this stuff anyway, simply because of his age, but it sounds as though success intensified it all. “It was like this whole fucking storm of shit,” he continues. “I was simultaneously so fulfilled and happy about these, like, otherworldly and surreal things that I had experienced in terms of where my career had brought me. I had all this confidence and fulfilment and beautiful people [in my life] – such amazing things to experience at a young age. But at the same time, there were a lot of things in my personal life that were unchecked and sort of neglected for a while.”

O’Brien says that in time, he realised he had to “stop for a second” and “re-explore how I wanted my life to look going forward”. In fairness, you can see why he needed a breather: his career took off while he was still a teenager. After his family moved from New Jersey to Los Angeles County when he was 12, O’Brien contemplated a career as a sports broadcaster – his Twitter bio still bills him as a “no longer suffering Mets fan” – then began posting YouTube videos as moviekidd826. A funny, slickly edited skit titled ‘How to Prepare for the SAT in 45 seconds’, shared when he was just 17, shows he was a born performer and storyteller. YouTube success led to him getting a manager, but his breakthrough role in Teen Wolf still came out of the blue. At the time, he was treading water at a local community college and taking auditions on the side.

Still, he has since taken a rather fatalistic view of this career-making moment. “It’s totally weird because, when I think about it now, I don’t see how it could have happened any other way. I can’t picture myself doing anything else now,” he told Collider in 2011. “It was really sudden and a little random, and not provoked by anything. It was just out of nowhere. It wasn’t my intentional doing.” Today, O’Brien summarises his skyscraper career trajectory succinctly. “I guess I just graduated high school and started acting,” he says. “And then I felt like I was just flying by the seat of my pants and never got a chance to stop.” Thankfully, straight-out-the-blocks Hollywood success hasn’t taken away his sense of perspective. When I say how easy social media makes it to compare yourself unfavourably to others, O’Brien jumps in: “Yeah, that’s very true. I was watching the Billie Eilish doc the other day, and I was like, I’ve done nothing. I’m not an artist at all!”

“No one thought ‘Love and Monsters’ was going to be good!”

O’Brien is also self-deprecating when he talks about being cast in Flashback, suggesting it happened because he had such an intense connection with Fred. “I was honestly like, ‘Who is watching me right now?’ That is the best way I can describe how I was feeling when I came across this script,” he says. “Chris [MacBride, director] and I had this conversation that went so well in terms of [my] understanding this script that I think he’d sent around a lot and [that] very commonly wasn’t understood. I think Chris has even said that the night before shooting, he suddenly had this thought, like, ‘Wait, do I even think he’s a good actor?'”

Though O’Brien has firmly ring-fenced elements of his private life, he’s actually pretty frank about his acting vehicles. He readily admits he was expecting a snobbish response to Love and Monsters, a CGI-heavy hybrid of post-apocalyptic action and romcom that dropped on Netflix in April and topped the streamer’s daily most-watched list. “It means so much that Love and Monsters has gotten the response that it’s gotten,” O’Brien says. “No one thought this movie was going to be good.” His blunt honesty makes me laugh out loud. “No one did though!” he says in response. “And so, fuck that. You know, most of the people who say something to me about the movie, they’re like: ‘I watched Love and Monsters, and it was… good?’ And honestly, that just cracks me up.” For obvious reasons, we hastily decide not to share our response to the film – namely, that it was a whole lot better than expected.

In Love and Monsters, O’Brien plays Joel, a survivor of a so-called “monsterpocalypse” that has bumped humans to the bottom of the food chain. Though he’s known in his colony as a bit of a coward, Joel sets off on a treacherous 80-mile journey to find his high school sweetheart Aimee (Iron Fist‘s Jessica Henwick), which means evading the hungry clutches of various supersize grizzlies including a giant monster-frog hiding in a suburban pond. It’s a simple but pretty out-there premise that wouldn’t work if O’Brien’s performance was even slightly condescending. Instead, his unselfconscious sincerity really sells a film that has as much in common with the family-oriented Robin Williams movie Night at the Museum as darker fare like The Walking Dead.

His obvious affection for the project really comes across during our interview today. “When I read the script, I just thought it was so sweet and funny and smart and unique, but at the same time reminiscent of all these movies that don’t really get made any more,” he says. That’s a fair point: Love and Monsters is neither a fail-safe superhero movie nor a slice of classy Oscar bait. “And when they were talking about how to market this movie, it was so funny hearing all these conversations like, ‘How do we actually get people to watch it?'” he adds. “But that’s a big part of the reason I wanted to do this movie: because it felt like something I missed seeing.”

“I’m lucky to be surrounded by people who want to make something out of love”

So in a way, Love and Monsters was a risk for an actor seeking to establish himself outside of a bankable movie franchise and a hit TV show. O’Brien has only made four films since his final Maze Runner outing in 2018, and insists he hasn’t been tactical with his choices. “I don’t have anyone saying, ‘We need to get you in an Oscar vehicle’, or any of that kind of shit,” he says. “I’m really lucky to be surrounded by people who think like me: that you should do what you’re drawn to, and make something out of love.”

He’s recently finished shooting a mysterious crime thriller called The Outfit in London with Mark Rylance. Directed and co-written by Graham Moore, who won an Oscar for his screenplay to Alan Turing biopic The Imitation Game, O’Brien calls it “quite possibly one of the most special pieces of writing I’ve ever experienced”. He first read the script on a plane and says he “actually stood up and clapped” when he got to the end. Considering O’Brien probably wasn’t flying Ryanair, this reaction presumably attracted a few baffled glances.

Anyway, it must be pretty intimidating walking onto set with Rylance, a multi-award-winning actor revered by his peers – Al Pacino once said he “speaks Shakespeare as if it was written for him the night before” – but it sounds as though O’Brien took it all in stride. He says he’s confident in his abilities, but admits to having a slight wobble whenever he begins a new project. “I’m always sort of re-questioning everything – like, ‘Can I even act?'” he says. “But I think there’s something very natural about that. I think even Rylance could relate to that feeling. Acting is like starting a new year at school every single time.”

At this point in his career, O’Brien has made peace with the fact that some people will have preconceptions about him based on what he’s known for: Maze Runner and Teen Wolf. “People will put you in a box no matter what,” he says. “There was definitely a time when that would get to me, especially when it felt like somebody had a perspective on me that in my soul, I just felt wasn’t accurate.” Still, there’s no doubt he wants to show us what’s really in his soul with more films like Flashback. “If anything,” he adds bullishly, “it just makes me think: ‘Right, I’m really gonna show them now’.”

‘Flashback’ is out on digital platforms from June 4

[purple-goo-writes]

The Shadows Watching Gotham

Or Watcher as most knows them,is a popular YouTuber and Podcaster and is the outside world's only reliable source of information about the on goings of the Mask Community within the crime ridden city known as Gotham. Aka the No Man's Land and the Crime Capital of the World.

Rumor has it that Watcher is the only way an outsider can contact the Bats. If this is true or not, Superman is about the find out.

Chapter 1: A rattle of bones

The Justice League of America and their younger counterparts watched the monitor in their meeting hall with rapt attention. On it, Barry had pulled up the channel of a popular youtuber, The Shadows Watching Gotham, hoping to get some more intel on the situation on Gotham and the vigilantes that the JLA wished to recruit. Though while the older members were listening with only half an ear, the younger ones were entranced with the hypnotizing and haunting narrative as Watcher spoke. His soft, raspy voice wrapping around them like an intoxicating perfume leaving the Young Justice Members wanting to hear more. Perhaps it was the strange ambient music playing in the background that added to the mystery surrounding Watcher that had them so entranced.

"...Just a friendly reminder for all my Gothamites listening in, Dr. Crane, otherwise known as The Scarecrow, escaped Arkham during last months breakout. Please do not forget your gas masks at home as he is still at large."

Watcher sat at an old and cluttered desk, the only light from an offscreen lamp, possibly a gaslamp, which bathed the teen and his surroundings in a soft golden glow. Though the JL couldn't see anything behind the teen except for pitch blackness, possibly the result of a backdrop. They couldn't see much of the Watcher as his face was blocked by the arm, the pop filter and mic of the studio microphone the teen was using. The teen was wearing a white long sleeved shirt which was rolled up to his elbows, showing off wiry, yet muscular arms covered in an odd variety of scars most Gothamites had littering parts of them, and a pressed red vest with black embroidery swirling across it, a gold tie could be seen just below the arm of the mic. Over all, the Watcher was just as mysterious and cryptic as the vigilantes he talked about.

"Now as the sun rises upon the decrepit bones of our fair city, I must bid you all a fair the well and a hopefully Good Morning. This is Watcher signing off."

And with that the screen went dark, snapping many out of the trance they had fallen into whilst listening to the Watcher speak.

Superman cleared his throat, before standing, "As I was saying. In order to hopefully meet with these vigilantes, I have managed to establish contact with The Watcher, as he is so far our only reliable source on the vigilantes that are not simply rumors spread by the Gotham Gazette or hearsay spread about through the villain network."

Hal frowned, leaning back in his chair rocking it back on two legs, "Yet isn't he just as hard to get a hold of?"

"Which is why I am going to meet him as Clark Kent with Kon acting as my back up in the form of my son shadowing me at work," the man of steel replied, ignoring how his clone/son rolled his eyes and muttered, "Isn't that what I normally fucking do?"

Their relationship was still rocky at time, but Ma Kent was determined to get Clark to do right by the boy. After all they were only on good terms due to Ma Kent. But, Kon was going through what Ma called his rebellious stage and trying to break out of his father's shadow as most teenage sons do. Which lead to snippy comments during meetings and Clark wondering just how Kon managed to get another new piercing, personally he blamed Lex for those because of course the man would figure out how to give a Kryptonian piercings just to piss Superman off.

Clark simply sighed and went back to addressing the others, “The Watcher agreed to meet with us tomorrow evening after I explained that I was writing an article about Gotham and it’s rumored vigilantes and found that he was the only reliable source I could find with recent information. And that I learned about him thanks to my son, Conner.”

“Meaning, I have to watch over fifty videos on Youtube so not to sound stupid when I talk to the dude,” Kon muttered to his best friend, Bart, who giggled softly into his hands. Both ignoring the looks their mentors gave them, though Barry’s was more fond then reprimanding like Clark’s.

“Exactly how will you know if it is this Watcher that you are meeting?” Wonder Woman inquired, a frown settling on her face in contemplation, “After all we do not know what this mysterious Watcher looks like…”

“We will be meeting him at the abandoned opera house within Central Gotham. He said he would know it is him by the red feathers he wears,” Clark sounded confused at this but only shrugged, “It’s the best I could get, he wouldn’t agree to meet outside of Gotham. Due to Gotham being declared No Man’s Land still by the President, even with the major rebuilding done by the Waynes… Most Gothamites don’t leave now.”

He sighed at the confused looks he was getting from the other members, “That was how Watcher explained it to me after I asked.”

The next evening…

Gotham was just as gloomy and foreboding as it was described in all the forums Kon had schemed the night before. What they had failed to mention was the literal stench of despair and fear that hung in the air. Or how Kon felt like the shadows were closing in slowly around him and his sorta-dad/Genetic donor as they hung outside the desolate opera house. Really the building was something out of a horror movie, and that was saying something considering this was Fucking Gotham and most places were probably used as references for horror movie scenery. It was huge and probably had been grand looking back in its prime with its gothic architecture and scale...though now the huge dome of the building was crumbling, slowly caving into itself and the once bright walls of it’s outer shell were now grey and covered in graffiti with most of the stained panels of it’s windows busted out from various villain attacks, bullet holes littered the siding and the once bright letters announcing the next play were broken and mostly missing. Honestly, Kon expected either a ghastly apparition from Hamlet to start monologuing or a serial killer to leap from the crawling shadows of the building looming over them.

He was not expecting someone to fucking sneak up on them out of the shadows and nearly scare Kon into fucking space!

“For an investigative reporter, you aren’t very observant, Mr. Kent,” came a soft, yet raspy voice like smoke behind them, causing both Kents to nearly break cover and leap on top of the building they were standing in front of. A smoky chuckle greeted them as both Kents whirled around just shy of inhuman speeds, “Really, I’ve been standing here watching you two nervously pace for about an hour now.”

An hour?

But how did they not hear him?

Kon was distracted from his thoughts as he took in just who was standing before them. The other teen, as their voice sounded young and didn’t yet have the full changes that signaled adulthood, only came up to Kon’s chin making him around five foot something compared to Kon’s near six feet. (He was so glad they fixed the aging and growing thing. He did not want to be stuck at the height of a thirteen year old forever.) They looked possibly male, but Kon wasn’t going to assign pronouns until they properly introduced themselves it was only polite according to Ma. Kon was still surprised that they managed to sneak up on the two Kents. They were wiry, yet muscular, built mainly for running from what Kon could tell, it was hard to tell with them still somehow blending in with the shadows despite how they were dressed. A white button down, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, with a bright red vest with black embroidery, a golden tie tucked into the vest, black dress slacks and slightly scuffed yet still shiny red loafers. A black trench coat was slung over one shoulder as the person watched them with amused blue eyes, the only part of their face they could see thanks to the bulky, yet futuristic looking, black gas mask with red lights. Kon could only see the person’s eyes thanks to the clear face shield protecting their eyes from foreign objects. Shaggy and long black hair framed the person’s face, the inky blackness of their hair almost blending into the Gotham night if it wasn’t for the bright red feathers tied throughout the inky mass.

Bright red feathers…

Feathers!

“Oh you’re Watcher!” Kon exclaimed being the first to recover, causing the podcaster to chuckle, “Oooh? I see you actually did remember. I was beginning to think that staring was just what Metropolians did.”

[longitudinalwaveme]

Arkham Sessions: Captain Cold

These vignettes, and, more specifically, the characterization of Dr. Hugo Strange, are based on the wonderful Arkham Files YouTube videos produced by Mr. Rogues.

Here's his channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyxNOHiNclZlVpeRhYV2QRQ

Since I am a huge Flash nerd, I decided to use this idea as a jumping-off point to explore how the Rogues would respond to therapy sessions. Again, all credit to the basic format goes to Mr. Rogues.

Not everything Dr. Strange says should be taken as truth; his bias against costumed vigilantes affects most of his interviews with the patients.

Hugo Strange: From the patient files of Dr. Hugo Strange, director of Arkham Asylum. Patient: Leonard Snart, also known as Captain Cold. The patient displays a number of antisocial tendencies, but no formal diagnosis has ever been given to him, and since he arrived at Arkham only a few days ago, I have not had the time to give him a complete psychological examination. Session One. Good day, Mr. Snart.  

Capt. Cold: Len. 

Hugo Strange: Pardon? 

Capt. Cold: Just call me Len, Doc. I ain’t the type to stand on formalities. 

Hugo Strange: Very well, then. (Pause) So, Leonard-

Capt. Cold: Not Leonard, Len. 

Hugo Strange: I take it you’re not especially fond of your given name? 

Capt. Cold: Believe me, Doc, if your name was ‘Leonard Snart’, you wouldn’t be fond of it, either. 

Hugo Strange: Fair enough. So, Len, what exactly influenced you to put on a parka and go running around robbing banks and jewelry stores with a freeze ray?

Capt. Cold: It ain’t a freeze ray, it’s a cold gun. 

Hugo Strange: Besides semantics, what is the difference? 

Capt. Cold: Mr. Freeze-you got him locked up somewhere in this loony bin, right?- has a freeze ray. It shoots ice. Me? I’ve got a cold gun. My gun negates thermal motion. Stops protons and electrons dead in their tracks. People too. Even the Flash slows to a crawl when I hit him with it. 

Hugo Strange: (Surprised; a bit skeptical) Do you mean to say that you have invented a weapon that can create temperatures of absolute zero? 

Capt. Cold: Yep. And I did it years before that lovesick freak got turned into a popsicle man. 

Hugo Strange: Your records indicate that you dropped out of high school at the age of fourteen, Len. How could you possibly have the requisite knowledge to create such a weapon? Are you even familiar with James Prescott Joule or J.J. Thomson? 

Capt. Cold: Who? 

Hugo Strange: J. J. Thomson is the man who discovered the electron. James Prescott Joule is the scientist who discovered the First Law of Thermodynamics. If what you’re saying is true, you managed to exceed the wildest dreams of either of these illustrious men, without even knowing of them or their theories. 

Capt. Cold: Huh. Guess I did. Well, how about that?

Hugo Strange: How could you possibly have managed this, Len? 

Capt. Cold: Just ‘cause I’m trailer trash don’t mean I’m stupid, Doc. 

Hugo Strange: Clearly not. So, how did you do it? 

Capt. Cold: Sorry, Doc. Trade secret. 

Hugo Strange: Len, we gave you a number of psychological and intelligence tests upon your admittance to Arkham Asylum, and-

Capt. Cold: (Cutting him off) About that-what’m I doin’ in this loony bin, anyhow? I ain’t crazy, and even if I were, I’m from Central City. That’s a thousand miles away from Gotham. 

Hugo Strange: A few weeks ago, Iron Heights Penitentiary’s southwestern wall was destroyed in a mysterious accident. As a result, it is currently incapable of holding supercriminals, metahuman or otherwise, and you and your cohorts had to be housed somewhere. Through a series of political and judicial decisions that I confess make as little sense to me as they probably do to you, all of you so-called “Rogues” were transferred to Arkham Asylum until such time as Iron Heights is properly rebuilt. 

Capt. Cold: I get havin’ to send us someplace else if Iron Heights is destroyed, but...I ain’t insane. Why not send me to Blackgate instead of the loony bin? 

Hugo Strange: Many people are of the opinion that anyone who puts on a silly costume in order to commit crimes is insane by definition, Len. 

Capt. Cold: That include you, Doc?

Hugo Strange: Whether or not you are insane in the legal sense of the term is not for me to decide, Len. That being said, I do believe that your decision to commit crimes in such a...theatrical...manner indicates some level of emotional disturbance. 

Capt. Cold: Hey, Doc, you’re the expert on this stuff, not me. 

Hugo Strange: In that case, why don’t we return to the subject of your astonishing invention? 

Capt. Cold: I’m stuck in the loony bin anyway. Might as well. 

Hugo Strange: Can you please refrain from describing this facility as a “loony bin”, Len? The term is pejorative, both for the staff who work here and the other patients who live here.

Capt. Cold: Pejorative? What’s that mean, Doc? 

Hugo Strange: It means that it is rude. Describing the mentally ill as “lunatics” is unkind and unscientific. 

Capt. Cold: Whatever you say, Doc. Whatever you say. 

Hugo Strange: (Coughs) As I was saying, when you arrived at the asylum, we gave you a number of psychological and intelligence tests. While your scores in the area of mathematics were unusually high, especially for someone who never finished high school, your literacy scores were abysmal. You are thirty-eight years old, but you read at the level of the average six-year-old. 

Capt. Cold: Well, we can’t all have your fancy education, Doc. What’s my reading ability got to do with my cold gun? 

Hugo Strange: I find it difficult to believe that a high school dropout-a high school dropout, moreover, who can barely read-would be able to invent a gun that can produce absolute zero on his own. 

Capt. Cold: Are you callin’ me a liar? 

Hugo Strange: Not necessarily, Len. What I am saying is that I do not believe that the Cold Gun was created in the way that you may believe that it was. 

Capt. Cold: Oh, so you ain’t callin’ me a liar-you’re callin’ me crazy. 

Hugo Strange: I did not say that either, Len. 

Capt. Cold: You didn’t have to, Doc. I may be a redneck high-school dropout, but I ain’t survived as long as I have by not knowin’ when people are bad-mouthin’ me. 

Hugo Strange: Len, I am not bad-mouthing you. I am trying to help you.

Capt. Cold: Sure you are.  

Hugo Strange: (Frustrated) Not everyone is looking to take advantage of you, Mr. Snart! 

Capt. Cold: Funny. Hasn’t been my experience, Doc. (Pause) Look. I ain’t mad, Doc. If I had a buck for every time somebody called me trailer trash or a dumb thug or a stupid hick, I wouldn’t need to rob no more banks. You ain’t said nothin’ I haven’t heard a million times before. But I want you to know this: I invented my cold gun, and I did it by myself. I. Ain’t. Stupid. 

Hugo Strange: (Looking to change the subject) Len, I never said that you were unintelligent. In fact, your criminal history makes it quite clear that you are an effective, pragmatic operative. An unintelligent man could never have organized the only successful costumed criminal combine in the nation. Every other group of costumed criminals has folded within a few months at most, usually due to interpersonal tensions, but you have somehow managed to keep your little group together for over a decade. What is it you call yourselves, again?

Capt. Cold: The Rogues. 

Hugo Strange: That’s right. The Rogues. Now tell me, Len, what exactly is the secret to your group’s...ah...success? 

Capt. Cold: (Amused) You plannin’ to start a costumed gang, Doc? 

Hugo Strange: Certainly not. I am simply curious. It isn’t often that I get the opportunity to interview criminals from outside of Gotham’s borders. 

Capt. Cold: It ain’t that complicated, Doc. The reason we’ve held together for so long is ‘cause we got an unspoken code. We watch one another’s backs to the end. Nobody gets left behind; everybody gets an equal share. 

Hugo Strange: (Surprised) Are you implying that you are...friends...with your Rogues? 

Capt. Cold: You think I’d trust people I hate to watch my back?

Hugo Strange: Admittedly, that wouldn’t make much sense...it’s just that I was under the impression that you were the leader of the group.

Capt. Cold: I am. 

Hugo Strange: Most gang bosses I know keep the majority of the profits from their crimes for themselves.Why don’t you? 

Capt. Cold: ‘Cause we’re a team. We do equal work; we get equal rewards. 

Hugo Strange: A surprisingly admirable sentiment for a common thief. 

Capt. Cold: (Proudly) There ain’t nothin’ common about me, Doc. 

Hugo Strange: (Sigh) That’s certainly true, Len. (Pause) On the subject of things that are not common, why the parka and the silly goggles? 

Capt. Cold: Practicality. Parka keeps me warm; goggles help focus my vision and keep me from bein’ blinded by the flare of my own cold gun. 

Hugo Strange: I see. (Pause) And why call yourself “Captain Cold”? After all, you aren’t really a Captain of anything. 

Capt. Cold: I’ll admit, it ain’t the most creative name in the world...but anything’s better than “Leonard Snart”. 

Hugo Strange: Why not just change your name, then? Why take up a ridiculous costumed alias?

Capt. Cold: Because I’m not just an ordinary thug. Leonard Snart is ordinary; boring…..but Captain Cold? Captain Cold is cool.

Hugo Strange: Was that a...pun?

Capt. Cold: What can I say? I admit they’re dumb, but old habits die hard. 

Hugo Strange: And the Flash had nothing to do with your decision to put on a costume and call yourself by a silly, alliterative name while committing crimes? 

Capt. Cold: The Flash? Why would he have anything to do with it? 

Hugo Strange: I was under the impression that the Flash was your arch-enemy. 

Capt. Cold: (Laughs) Arch-enemy? What is this, a Saturday morning TV show? 

Hugo Strange: The Central City papers make quite a big deal of your rivalry with the so-called “Scarlet Speedster”. 

Capt. Cold: Look, the Flash is basically a cop. Sure, he’s a cop with superpowers, and he’s good for sharpening our wits, but at the end of the day, he’s just an obstacle to our getting the score. 

Hugo Strange: Then you don’t view your battles with him as some epic confrontation between ideologies? 

Capt. Cold: Why would I do that? Ideologies don’t pay the grocery bills, Doc. 

Hugo Strange: And you haven’t dedicated your life to proving your superiority over him once and for all? 

Capt. Cold: No. I fight the Flash for the same reasons I fight the cops: I want to get rich, and he’s standing in my way. Nothin’ more, nothin’ less.

Hugo Strange: So the Flash is nothing special to you?

Capt. Cold: I didn’t say that. Like I said, he’s good for sharpening the wits. I wouldn’t be half as successful as I am if he weren’t around to keep me and the guys on our toes, and yeah, it’d be neat to finally get the victory over him once and for all...but really, he ain’t so different from us. He’s just another guy workin’ a nine-to-five, tryin’ to provide for his family. I don’t like him-he’s a stuck-up, self-righteous prig sometimes-but he’s a good person. He’s not a superhero ‘cause he wants hero-worship. He actually wants to help people. He’s even helped me, and I make a career out of trying to freeze-dry him. You gotta respect a guy like that. 

Hugo Strange: You actually see the Flash as a man?

Capt. Cold: What else would I see him as? A Martian? ‘Cause I’ve seen Martians, and I can tell you, the Flash ain’t green enough to be one.

Hugo Strange: It’s not that. It’s just that I’ve spent so much time with the patients who view Bruce Wayne, formerly the Batman, as some sort of supernatural entity or as a grand opposite in a never-ending conflict between order and chaos that it’s rather...odd to listen to a costumed criminal who claims to view their local costumed vigilante simply as a person. 

Capt. Cold: Man, you have got to get out more. 

Hugo Strange: (Coldly)  I don’t recall requesting life advice from you, Mr. Snart. 

Capt. Cold: Well, you should take it anyway. Ain’t often I give stuff away for free. 

Hugo Strange: (Annoyed) This session is not about me, Mr. Snart. It’s about you. 

Capt. Cold: What else do you wanna talk about? I’m not stupid, I’m not creepily obsessed with the Flash, I don’t butcher people for fun, and I don’t have any weird hang-ups about dead relatives or riddles or plants or dolls or jokes or the number two. I’m not a good guy, but I think I’m a pretty normal guy, all things considered. 

Hugo Strange: Mr. Snart, no one puts on a costume without some sort of psychological disturbance. Even if the Flash was not in some way responsible for your decision-something which I am not yet fully convinced of-no rational human being would do such a thing. I just need to find out what your disturbance is. (Pause) Perhaps it began in your childhood, Mr. Snart? 

Capt. Cold: (Icily) My childhood is none of your business. 

Hugo Strange: I am your psychologist, Mr. Snart. That makes it my business. (Pause) Let’s see. Your file says that you were born to Lawrence Snart, a forty-year-old police officer who was kicked off the force for public drunkenness and suspected corruption, and Shirley Snart, a fifteen-year-old high school dropout. You and your family lived in a dilapidated trailer park, and your father was a known alcoholic who drank away your family’s welfare money. Five years after you came along, your younger sister, Lisa, was born...and your mother ran away, never to be seen again. The neighbors called the police because of domestic disputes between her and your father no less than thirteen times in five years, which leads me to suspect that she was spurred to leave the family because of her husband’s abuse. You were left to raise your sister, essentially on your own, at five years old, and you were effectively the head of the household from that point on. You never had a childhood, Mr. Snart. 

Capt. Cold: Don’t you talk about my sister!

Hugo Strange: I take it that you’re close to her? Understandable, I suppose, given that you grew up with her in an abusive household. Your grandfather, who drove an ice cream truck, did his best to protect you and your sister from your father’s cruelty, but he was old and in poor health, and he died when you were only twelve years old. You never got over the loss, and your father’s abuse only got worse as you and your sister got older. When you turned 14, you dropped out of high school; you then worked a number of odd jobs to support yourself and your sister. However, shortly after you turned 18, you and your father got into a dreadful argument, one that ended with you running away from home and leaving your little sister alone with your father. After that, you eventually fell into a life of petty crime. 

Capt. Cold: I...I had no choice. If I hadn’t left, he would’ve killed me! 

Hugo Strange: I am not blaming you for choosing to run away, Mr. Snart. You were an abused child with very few options available to you. 

Capt. Cold: (Quietly) I could’ve taken her with me. 

Hugo Strange: And why didn’t you? 

Capt. Cold: ‘Cause I was an 18-year-old dropout. Nobody was gonna give me custody of my sister...and besides, I’d started hangin’ out with dangerous people. I...I didn’t want her to get hurt. 

Hugo Strange: In other words, she would have been in danger no matter what you had done. 

Capt. Cold: It don’t matter! I’m her big brother! I was supposed to protect her! 

Hugo Strange: (Coming to a realization) And because you weren’t able to protect her from your father as a boy, you’re trying to make up for it now by becoming this “Captain Cold”; a larger-than-life persona that can do all the things you weren’t able to do as a child. You’ve made yourself too powerful and dangerous for anyone to threaten, and you’ve made a surrogate family for yourself and your sister. That’s why the Rogues are so successful...it’s because they aren’t really a gang at all. They’re your family. Isn’t that right, Mr. Snart? 

Capt. Cold: (Sarcastically) An’ I suppose the fact that my grandpa drove an ice cream truck somehow subconsciously influenced my decision to become Captain Cold? 

Hugo Strange: (Aware of the sarcasm, but ignoring it)  That’s perhaps a bit of a stretch, but it isn’t impossible. 

Capt. Cold: I don’t believe this….

Hugo Strange: Don’t be afraid, Mr. Snart. Admitting you have a problem is difficult, but it’s also the first step on the road to recovery. 

[snowdropheart]

1, 2, 3, 25!!

Heyyyaa, Fee! Thank u! <3

1. How many new TV shows did you start/watch this year?

I had a wholeass TV journey this year. I went through my internet/Netflix history to tally it up and I think I started 7 shows, but I didn’t finish them all. No one asked but I’m going to rank them:

1. Imposters. This little show that no one talks about is so fucking good. It’s silly, but leans into its silliness. It’s got intrigue, genuinely funny moments, a satisfying ending (in my opinion) despite its only 2-season run, and it is overflowing with the found-family trope. If you like mysteries and found family and self-aware melodrama, plz watch this show. It’s such a great time

2. Maid. This was just a limited series, but it was incredible. Based on a true story, it’s a heartfelt, heart-wrenching, and beautiful depiction of Stephanie Land’s escape from an abusive relationship and struggle with the unfair American government’s treatment of those living in poverty. I love the way the show uses style to convey emotion, and I love how nuanced it portrays all its characters.

3. Psych. I watched this show for the first time this year after randomly watching a compilation of funny Shawn/Gus moments on YouTube, and it did not disappoint. I mean, some episodes are rough, but that’s to be expected in the genre and when a show runs for 8 seasons (and movies!). If you like episodic murder mysteries, slow-burn romance, comedy, and pineapples, you’ll love this show. 

4.  Criminal Minds. I’m still actively watching this show, and I can’t stop. Criminal Minds has me constantly shaking my head in disbelief at strange writing decisions, horribly misguided attempts to tackle racism in the American justice system (and general corruption), and buckwild out-of-ideas crimes. But for all its faults, I love the characters (except Hotch. I kind of hate Hotch). I love that they’re a family, and I love the little moments of comedy we get every once and a while. Also I love Dr. Spencer Reid and I will forever hate the writers for killing Maeve. 

5. Twin Peaks. I never got around to finishing Twin Peaks, not because I didn’t want to, but I just got distracted. Also it’s such an iconic, intricate show that I found that I didn’t have the brain to watch it while in school. That being said, the first two seasons were incredible and I can absolutely tell why it’s TV royalty. 

6. Glee. I was one of the few people who didn’t join the Glee-train in 2010, because my parents were kind of strict about what we were allowed to watch. So, I decided to delve back into the early 2010s to escape from the horror that is the 2020s for a while. I only made it to about mid-season 4 before abandoning it because, honestly the new characters and even-worse writing became unbearable. (Though I did watch “The Quarterback” because I remember when Cory Monteith died. That was a powerful episode). Anyway. Glee is a mess, but I can’t help but love it and I truly don’t think our current TV landscape would exist without it. #cancelmrshue

7. Manifest. This show is also a mess, but it doesn’t know it’s a mess. Like, at least Glee was moderately aware that it was a mess. Manifest thinks its clever but it just. Straight up forgets a character is only like 16 and lets her date a college student with no comment. It brings in Egyptian mythology for no reason. Suddenly in season 3 the characters have vaguely magic powers. Incredible. 10/10 would recommend. 

2. Favourite TV show you've watched/discovered this year?

I guess I answered that above, but Imposters. Also Psych. I re-watched an episode a few days ago when I was really emotional, and I fully cried when the theme song played. 

3. Least favourite TV show you've watched this year?

I started watching Prodigal Son a few months ago, but I only made it through a few episodes. The premise fucking slaps--the son of a serial killer solves crimes--but the acting was kind of awful. So was the writing. It felt like a big ol fumble of a great premise. Can you tell I watch a lot of murder mysteries?

25. Rec me a TV show I should watch next year!

You already know all my recs, Fee, but I’ll take this chance to plug Imposters again, because IT’S A SLAPPER!

[shinsorokiri]

MHA Youtubers | DetectiveDeku

Izuku Midoriya Headcanons

Warnings: Mentions of true crime, mentions of gore and blood and mangled body parts

A/N: I pre-wrote this and feel bad I didn’t put out an actual UA Idol chapter so, have this instead, I hope it’s okay!

Did somebody say true crime?

No?

Are you sure?

Cause that’s what our little broccoli boy loves

He’s BIG into true crime

Specifically, unsolved cases

He just wants to help these families find their loved ones, okay?

Or find out who took their loved ones away from them

He believes strongly in justice

And has

V E R Y  L O U D

Opinions on how cases are handled

He can and will go on a rant in the middle of his videos

Usually those rants don’t see the light of day

But uh

For his 1 million subscribers milestone he decided to release some of them

Was it amusing?

Of course

Did he punch a hole in his wall during one of these rants?

Yes

Was it kind of refreshing to see a different side of this happy little celery stick?

Most definitely 

Kinda scary?

Yah

He never deviates from his true crime videos

But one of his favorite things to do that (for the most part) isn’t unsolved mysteries 

Is collab with one of his friends 

And tell them stories about serial killers

The genuine shock on his friends faces when he tells them about these cold-blooded murderers in the calmest tone

“D-Did you just say Jack the Ripper gutted women? Like fish?!”

“Yeah, crazy right? I mean taking into consideration that he was probably medically trained in some way, too? Terrifying. What if your doctor had a hobby of finding and violently murdering prostitutes? Like what do you do? Find a new one?”

Uraraka was horrified

He frequently tweets about cases

Asking his followers what they want him to cover next

A lot of the time Kaminari catches some crackhead behavior of Midoriya in his vlogs

Like the time that he randomly just

Ran into the room 

Kicked Bakugou to the ground

Flipped him off while he was writhing on the ground

Screamed something along the lines of 

“SURPRISE ATTACK FUCKING BITCH”

And then ran right back out of the room

Or the time that he was just chilling

Drinking a latte

And Denki asked him what he was thinking about 

And he answered with

“You ever have the sudden urge to stick your finger in a blender just to see what would happen?”

“MIDORIYA”

“Okay don’t MiDoRiYa me, Denki, I know you’ve thought about this because you’re you. Do you think it would get cut off or just kind of mangled or like, what?”

But most of the time it’s just wholesome 

Commonly referred to as a cinnamon roll

One time one of his videos helped solve a case

There was a girl missing for 5 years

And Midoriya made a video about her

And someone watched it

And realized

“Hey that aged up rendering looks oddly familiar to my next door neighbor’s daughter who moved away from her mother and in with her father five years ag- W A I T  A  S E C O N D.”

He was

So

Proud

He did a video with the victim

Let her tell her story

He also donates 50% of all of his merch sales to charities

“Remember, half of the money you use to purchase my merchandise goes straight to Thorn. Help prevent human trafficking today and go get a hoodie or something.”

“Because it’s the Holiday Season I’m donating 100% of my merch sales to charity. You get to choose which charity you want the money to go to when you check out, but I recommend Find The Children. This time of year can be really hard for families who’s loved ones are missing. Find The Children is a charity that does everything they can to reunite families again.”

Speaking of merch

His merch is adorable

Very colorful

Very cute

“Detective Deku” is a great name to go on hoodie sleeves

Who knew?

He did apparently 

The amount of Hunt A Killer sponsors he has

Ridiculous

There’s so many

And he frequently has livestreams where he’s figuring the whole thing out with his fans who can’t afford it

He asks questions

Listens to their opinions and suggestions

And he doesn’t care how long it takes

He loves his job

Even if he needs to work some other jobs on the side every so often because the heavy material in his videos can cause them to be demonetized

He’s helping 

That’s what matters

How soft