#if you think i wouldn't be out here celebrating the 10 year anniversary of my favorite show you are wrong! i am mentally ill sorry! /srs

[noah-price]

@pscentral​ event 26: minimalism

SILICON VALLEY (2014 - 2019) TOP 10 RATED EPISODES ON IMDB insp (1, 2)

[jezabatlovesbats]

2023: The Year of Milestones

What a crazy year it's been, am I right? I graduated high school, and I'm now a college freshman. We got some new films that were memed a lot and made a lot of cash. The Owl House and Summer Camp Island ended. I got into some new things as well. Unikitty: Big Bright World turned 5 in January 2023, which is why I crappily edited in the milestone doodle I did for it. You can find it here because I made an ask blog for BBW. For anyone who doesn't yet know me, Unikitty and the BBW AU mean a lot to me.

Following that milestone, I realized there were more things I liked that were turning 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 or 30 that year than I thought, and those are very noteworthy digits to me. I wanted to create anniversary drawings for them in celebration. But, because I was procrastinating from them and I also had other stuff going on, I couldn't. 

Instead of individual milestone drawings, I decided to compile all of them into one big tribute. For the same reasons, though, I had to delay it to January of 2024. I was aiming to have it ready to go by about New Years' Eve. But then on Christmas day, me and my brothers were surprised with a trip to California, and we left three days later.

Without further padding out, I'll talk about the things from which the characters are here partying with me, and what those things mean to me. I'll also talk about what the 5 on my hot chocolate mug means, because I'm not 5 years old, and I wasn't born on Leap Day. Here we go! 

We're starting with the oldest thing featured, The Nightmare Before Christmas, which came out in 1993 and hit 30 years. Me and my family went to see it in a theater back in October of 2020, leading to me growing fascinated by it, its characters and its worldbuilding. I LOVE ME SOME COOL AND INTERESTINGLY DEVELOPED WORLDS, OKAY? THE HOLIDAY FOREST IS NO EXCEPTION! I thought of some other towns based on New Years, birthdays and Earth Day. I also thought up some backstory for Lock, Shock and Barrel because they're my favorite characters and I need more of them. Honestly, I felt like I was late to the party. Like, why hadn't I watched it sooner? But let me tell you, you can get invested in something at any time, no matter how dead its fandom is. I think the reason why TNBC stuck with me is because of its spooky-fun atmosphere. I'm not a fan of horror movies; when I go into the garage or go to pee at night, I have this subconscious fear that something's gonna jump out and slash me in two. I sleep with a nightlight on, too. But if it's clear that the spooks are non-threatening (which the Halloween Town citizens made clear in This is Halloween) and there's no graphic violence or gore anywhere, I'm all for it. After all, I enjoy both cute and dark things, and that's how I present myself. Also, I made an entry for TheITinFIT's YTP collab for TNBC in observance of its 30th anniversary, and you can watch it at the link in the replies!

Finding Nemo came out in 2003, so it's hit 20 years. Let me tell you- I was scared of this movie when I was younger. I wouldn't watch it because of the part where Marlin and Dory were sucked up by that whale, or when that pelican swallowed them (not Nigel; he's a good egg). I was also scared of that Octonauts episode where Dashi gets stuck inside a whale shark. I've always had this fear of getting swallowed by a larger being. And this is just my personal opinion, but I'm disgusted by vore. It's not for me, and it's never been. I can handle those scenes now- after all, Dory and Marlin made it out alive both times (and Dashi did, too). Later on, I had a greater appreciation for FN. Like spooky-fun stuff, another favorite, uh, aesthetic of mine is oceans and the sea. I dunno- sea animals are cool, and I've been fascinated with them since I was a kid. I had this phase where I wanted to be a marine biologist. There's just something so relaxing, but simultaneously exciting about Finding Nemo, and for that reason, it's now one of my favorites from Pixar. 

I was listening to the theme song for this show while writing this. Teen Titans also premiered in 2003, and I'm kind of ashamed to admit that I was introduced to it by Teen Titans Go. In 2018, we saw Teen Titans Go To The Movies in theaters, and I followed TTG up until, like, 2021. By that point, it just wasn't enjoyable for me anymore, but I still very much enjoy the classic series. I watched it from start to finish in 2019 and got super into it, especially the HIVE Five. On Wattpad, I created a random story that was basically a blog for the HIVE. I wrote them profiles, let my followers ask them questions, and did incorrect quotes. It's deleted now, though. I was weirdly obsessed with See-More to the point where I made an OC that was his cousin, made OCs based on the other four senses, and shipped him with Scorpion (though they broke up later on). My mom printed the HIVE symbol on a black T-shirt, and it's still in my closet today. Besides them, one of my other favorite characters is Raven. Any character with a purple and black color scheme will catch my eye, but I also found her history and character traits interesting to the point where she influenced one of my favorite OCs I've made. I've got the entire Teen Titans series on DVD, including the Trouble in Tokyo movie. It was one of the first things I could say was one of my fandoms, so it's got a special place in my heart. By the way, I’d LOVE a (good) HIVE Five movie. 

Another thing I absolutely ADORE that came out of 2003 was the Mario & Luigi RPG series. I mean, I've been playing games in the entire Super Mario franchise since I was young. With this series, I'd always be playing Partners in Time, Bowser's Inside Story and Dream Team on my DS, but in both games, I could never get past two parts. For PiT, I couldn't beat the Swiggler, and in BiS, I couldn't get past the Pump Works area inside Bowser. (Like, I couldn't find the Stingler, even though it was actually super easy. You know, the sparky bzzt thing that opens that one door?) Dream Team was the only game my younger self actually completed, and I think that's why it was the game I liked the most. We got Paper Jam when it came out, and though me and my brothers fought over who got to play it for a while, I played it and beat it. I REALLY started getting invested in the M&L series in 2017, when the Superstar Saga remake came out. Now, as I said earlier, big, elaborate worlds with multiple places to explore and lots of characters will have my attention! So, I was hyped to traverse the Beanbean Kingdom. I never played the original Superstar Saga because we never owned any type of Gameboy. But, I got the remake, played it, and beat both SS and Bowser's minions. One thing led to another, and I fell back down the M&L hole. I even wrote a Prince and the Pauper-like story about Prince Peasley and Red, one of my OCs, but it's also deleted now. I had the idea that the series would be a great TV show, leading to me developing an AU in which I write it like one, with my own characters and kingdoms. Some of you may be thinking that if the M&L series appeals to me, then I would enjoy Paper Mario, too. If you are, I think you might be right! 

As I just said, I loved Dream Team the most, and it's still my favorite game in the series. For this occasion, I was planning on writing a post on why Dream Team was, in fact, a CLASSIC, but again- because of personal business and procrastination, I didn't. I forgot all of my points anyway. But I will say this: even with all the long tutorials, the visuals in the game are absolutely GORGEOUS. I love how well-detailed everything is. The colors were so vibrant and dream-like (just like the game title, guys!). And, the music is AWESOME. In fact, it's one of my favorite game soundtracks ever. I want more of the music with lyrics! I already wrote some for three of them! Luigi really got his time to shine, and his and Mario's brotherliness thoughout the game was just SO amazing and sweet. Luigi believes in Mario so much, and he's willing to fight alongside him, and they're unstoppable together! Also, the Pi'illos were and still are an extremely interesting concept to me, to the point where I thought up a whole Elena of Avalor-type character arc for Prince Dreambert. To me, he seems like a prince learning to rule his land in a different time after being stuck in a nightmare chunk for who knows how long. Anyways, Dream Team is amazing. I freakin' love it. Not much more needed to be said. 

Hitting 15 years in 2023 is one of my all-time favorite movies ever, WALL-E! I have loved and appreciated this movie ever sense I was a literal toddler! I made a bunch of little WALL-E stories, so I’ve been writing fanfiction as early as then. I just didn’t know what that was yet. I remember pretending to be EVE and M-O, the latter of whom is my favorite character. I loved it when I was younger, but I didn’t realize just how amazing it was until I started fixating on it again in 2021. When you revisit something, you can notice lots of things you hadn’t seen before and understand why you love it and what makes it so great. Like, I came to better understand WALL-E’s story and themes, and appreciate how gorgeous it is. I watched Hello, Dolly because of WALL-E, and the parallels I noticed blew my little mind. Those old stories I wrote when I was 5 influenced that WALL-E human AU I made. I think I might bring back my gijinkas and create ones for other things with non-human characters because I miss them. I think the reason why this movie appeals to me is because WALL-E himself is fun and perky and curious (and music-loving) in a similar way to myself. And, I’m a firm believer that there’s more to life than my job. I think that because of WALL-E, I enjoy sci-fi stories and worlds just as much as fantasy stories and worlds. I’m also a sucker for stories that combine sci-fi with fantasy. I still love and appreciate WALL-E so, so, SOOO much, and it’s such a huge part of my life. Autistic WALL-E is real to me. 

A movie that came out the same year as WALL-E that I also still love a lot is Ponyo. It came out in the US a year later, but I’m still including it here. Ponyo was my introduction to Studio Ghibli, and I watched it as often as I did WALL-E back in the day. Me and my brother LOVED this movie and would watch it while in in the car a lot of the time. I remember that my brother even started pretending to be a character called “Sonyo.” I think he also started liking ham. I already said how much I love oceans and fantasies! I don’t really watch a lot of anime or movies from Japan, so this was actually my first time drawing Sosuke and Ponyo. I think they came out pretty great. If it hadn’t been for this movie, though, I don’t think I would have wanted to check out Ghibli’s other films. I did watch Doraemon, Yokai Watch and some Pokémon XY Kalos Quest, so I think I still may have wanted to see other anime shows like Eizouken (which I watched all 12 episodes of). But, I’ve got Ponyo to thank for introducing me to Japanese animation as a whole, and in 2021, I watched all of Ghibli’s other movies (except for Grave of the Fireflies). I think I’ll rewatch Spirited Away and Arrietty sometime later on. I really want to see The Boy and the Heron.

There’s a good number of 10s here, by which I mean these things all came out in 2013. The earliest of these is Steven Universe, which came out in May of that year. I got into Unikitty when the last few episodes of SU were being hyped up. I remember watching a clip for Tragic Magic before YouTube slapped the For Kids thing on it, and most the comments were like, “Give us Legs From Here to Homeworld!” So later on in, like, 2019, I got curious and started watching the show from late Season 3 onwards. My first episode was Earthlings. Then, I watched the whole show from start to finish when CN did the Every Steven Ever thing before the movie came out. I watched the movie past my bedtime ‘cause it premiered on a school night. I made myself a gemsona, my brother started watching the movie and getting interested, and I watched the whole series with him including Future. Even with its flaws, and despite what people say about it, it was an enjoyable watch for us! It’s not the best thing ever because nothing is, but I’m on the side of defending it. Even with its flaws and all the shade it got thrown at it, it paved the way for lots of great things and helped so many people feel understood. This show is legendary in more ways than one, and it still has my respect. 

I’ve been interested in Ever After High since it first launched in 2013. I never had any of the dolls, but I think I watched a few episodes of the series. I remember reading Shannon Hale’s books and owning some of the other toys (like a lockable diary). I was interested in Monster High as well (creepy/fun and cute style! Right up my alley!), but I mostly leaned towards Ever After High. I’d also search the web and look up information about the characters. Raven’s included here because, once again, purple and black color scheme! Yay! But it’s mainly because I remember wanting to be like her. I wanted to be a rebel, and I began calling myself one. Back then, I interpreted her as being so defiant of her prewritten destiny that she believed following it was dumb. But I’ve grown since then, and I came to realize that she isn’t like that. Far from that image, in fact. It’s such a HUGE shame what happened to EAH, but I’m glad there are still people out there who show interest in it. I currently follow someone who’s got lots of ideas for a reboot! Sign me up!

I loved lots of other games in the Super Mario franchise, like Mario Party 9 and New Super Mario Bros. for the DS. My great enjoyment of Super Mario 3D World pretty much goes hand-in-hand with Ever After High. Why, you may ask? Because of the weird crossovers I wrote. Let me explain! Hear me out! I was a well-known enthusiast for the game’s Sprixies. You know, those little fairy creatures? I even had names for the Sprixie princesses based on their colors: Greenia, Yellowlina, Bluia, Orangia, Violet, Aquamarina and Redna. (Get it? Edna, but red?) These days, I still call the purple one Violet, but I gave the rest of them other nicknames. Also, back then, I had the red one be the queen of the Sprixies even though the green one is implied to be the face of the seven. Back to the ridiculous EAH crossovers. I made Sprixie sisters for the female characters in the series. The male characters had Toad brothers. It wasn’t just canon characters, either- I also made Sprixie and Toad siblings for people’s OCs I found on the internet. I even typed up a story about the characters and their, quote-unquote, siblings. But yeah- Super Mario 3D world was ridiculously fun, the music was bouncy and catchy, and the graphics are actually really pretty. In the last worlds, whenever we didn’t have enough green stars to advance, I’d organize the Daily Green Star Hunt. Games like this are the reason why I love searching levels for treasures and trinkets as I go along, and I don’t want to advance until all is found. I’m at a point in my life where I completed SM3DW (and also Bowser’s Fury, since we got that edition) to its entirety with everything you could collect in the game. This game stands as one of my top favorites in the Mario franchise as a whole, so much so that I wanted to include it in Mario & Luigi Rewritten.

I love a lot of films from Pixar, but when I was 9, I especially loved Monsters University. The most noteworthy memory I have with it, which is also the most important one to me, is when I had my tonsils removed. By the way, that’s the only time I ever had surgery done on me. After it happened, the next three or so weeks consisted of me eating nothing but ice cream, taking nasty medicine, and messing around with an iPad on this app called Toontastic (if anyone here has heard of it, you’re a legend to me). I also rented MU out on the TV without my parents’ permission and watched it on repeat. I loved to doodle the movie’s background characters and include my doodles of them into my Toontastic cartoons. (Yeah- the app had a thing where you could draw your own characters and backdrops. Also, off-topic, but Toontastic is the reason I know about Deng Xiaoping.) Also, I shipped the frats and sororities with each other. Like, all six of each one. The RORs with the HSSs, the EEKs with the JOXs, the PNKs with Oozma Kappa. Except for Mike, whom I knew was with Celia, and Sulley, who I shipped with… Carla the Killer Claws lady? That wasn’t the best idea. Johnny x Rosie is a ship I still remember quite fondly. Like I said with WALL-E, the older you get, the more you notice why you love a film so much and what makes it good. I really appreciate MU’s message about how it’s okay to fail. And yes, it is! Because if failure wasn’t an option, you wouldn’t know how to pick yourself back up on your feet when things go wrong. Even if you don’t achieve the dreams you hope for, that doesn’t mean you’re done for and there aren’t other doors you can go through. You still matter. My brother and I made a bunch of jokes about MU when I started college. Of course, it’s not what college is actually like, but I still love it and the original Monsters Inc. If I ever see Steve Buscemi, Billy Crystal or any of the other people from this movie in real life, I’m telling them about me watching it while recovering from surgery.

I’ve always gravitated towards the Mario franchise more than the Sonic franchise. And while I have played Mario and Sonic at London 2012, I didn’t like to play anything solely Sonic except for Sonic Lost World. I know, I know- it wasn’t well-received, but that doesn’t make me any less of someone who enjoys Sonic. Back then, I loved watching cutscenes and walkthroughs of the game, and I was particularly fascinated by the Deadly Six. I can only remember looking up pictures of them and reading fics about them. But, that led me to come back to my affinity for them in 2020. I became interested in fleshing out their characters more and imagining what their pasts were like. I do that a lot when I hear people say a thing is half-baked or cookie-cutter of mediocre/bad. I also created my own Zeti characters as well. I played other Sonic games like Colors and Forces, I saw the movies, and I thought up my Mobian characters. Also, I watched Snapcube’s SA2 fandub. I was there to witness Eggman go on the moon. I’d love to branch out to more Sonic stuff, so if anyone would like to recommend me some, please do! I’m all ears! If you’ve seen Take Me To Snurch (Snail Church), a version of that with the Zeti is stuck in my head now. 🎶 Take me to zurch. I’ll worship like a Zeti at the zhrine of your zife… 

Oof… I’m just gonna say that Frozen fever was inescapable back in the day to tons of kids, including me. When I was a kid, I was a huge copycat. I’d be into things because my friends were into them, and I’d plagiarize other people’s stuff almost all of the time. So, I don’t really remember if I was genuinely interested in Frozen. But apparently, I was enough to have my 9th birthday party be themed around it. Also, I remember that shortly afterwards, I had a sleepover with my friends from dance class, and we watched the movie together (not all of it). Right before we went to bed, we were all singing Let it Go as loud as we could. Frozen’s impacted my young life enough for me to take inspiration from it for Broken and Frozen. But, I agree when people say we need to warm up.

Lastly, there’s my milestone, which just so happens to be Christmas. On Christmas of 2018, I got a new computer, and my parents told me they’d set up the Wattpad account I’ve wanted since before I turned 13. I was first introduced to Wattpad after watching a video about fanfiction and reading the MC:SM Rewritten series (even though it’s now inactive). I talked about the weird little things I liked in real life, but while people listened, I never felt like they really knew what I was talking about. I started uploading my random thoughts, characters and stories to Wattpad, and I started making friends with people who were interested in the same things as me. When I did that, I really felt understood. The same happened when I joined DeviantArt in 2019, and for a while, it was just those two. Later on, in 2021, I hopped on Tumblr, YouTube and AO3. Then came Discord, and most recently, Amino. I was and still am fiercely loyal to my creations and my pals online. Through my high points and my mess-ups, I’ll want to connect with my closest friends and mutuals whenever I can. I’ve found enjoyment in lots of things, and I’ve come so far in terms of developing my artistic skills. When online, I found it easier to connect with people because I could more easily seek out people I had things in common with. What’s especially important to me is that connecting in this way is how I met one of my best friends ever, and while on my trip, I got to see them in real life. I hope it happens again someday. It’s not good to be chronically online, of course. But, being here has helped me discover myself and find peace within this world in ways you can’t even imagine. To everyone I’ve ever interacted with, thank you for five wonderful years! 

Wow! This sure was a lot. To everyone I’ve ever befriended and followed over these things and others, and to everyone who followed me, I can’t thank you enough for being here! You guys are the reason I keep logging in almost every day and why I’m still on my feet. Especially you, Hino! Thank you so, so, SO much! 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! 🎆💜🖤🦇

[gacmediadaily]

Danica McKellar reflected on the key to a successful relationship after celebrating the 10th anniversary of her first date with her husband Scott Sveslosky.

The 48-year-old actress, who is starring in the upcoming Great American Family holiday movie "A Royal Date for Christmas," recently marked 10 years since she first met Sveslosky. McKellar told Fox News Digital that she believes couples need to be realistic and willing to take accountability in order to sustain lasting love.

Danica McKellar shared her thoughts on the key to a successful relationship after celebrating the 10th anniversary of her first date with her husband. ( Emily Assiran/Getty Images for That’s 4 Entertainment)

She continued, "When you're feeling frustrated with something, with a situation, find your part in it. Always. Always. Come to any conversation when there's conflict with, well, here's what I could have done better."

"Always search for it. Hunt for it. Because that's what you want your partner to do, too, right?"

McKellar and Sveslosky tied the knot during an intimate ceremony in Kauai, Hawaii, in November 2014. The California native was previously married to composer Mike Verta from 2009 to 2012. The exes share son Draco, 13.

The "Wonder Years" star married attorney Scott Sveslosky in 2014. (David Livingston/Getty Images)

"I think we all would, but that's the whole thing," she said. "You can't have the wisdom as an adult you have when you're a kid, otherwise you wouldn't be a kid."

"I mean, the thing I would tell myself when I was younger and especially when I was wishing that I would find my fairy tale, is 'It's going to work out. It might take longer than you expect. You might have to go through a marriage first. It's going to be hard, but it works out in the end.'"

On Oct. 16, McKellar shared an Instagram tribute to celebrate her decade-long relationship with Sveslosky. In her post, the actress included a slideshow of photos of the pair taken over their years together. 

"Exactly 10 years ago, Scott and I met and ever since, I've felt like the luckiest woman on the planet!!" she wrote in the caption, adding a smiley face surrounded by hearts emoji.

McKellar continued, "October 16, 2013, we met for coffee, which turned into lunch, which turned into frozen yogurt, which turned into a lifetime together!"

"Thank you Scott, for being the best husband and partner I ever could have dreamed off (sic)," she added. "I love you so much and all our adventures together. Here's to many more decades ahead!"

"Happy 10 year anniversary of our first date!!"

The couple recently collaborated for the second time on the Great American Family movie "Swing Into Romance," which premiered on Oct. 7. McKellar executive produced and starred in the romantic comedy dance film and Sveslosky wrote the story. 

"Back in 2017, I told my husband that I wanted to play a math teacher in a movie, and he wrote the story for a movie that ended up being called ‘Campfire Kiss’ and I did that for Hallmark," McKellar told People magazine in July.

"More recently, I said, 'I really want to dance in a movie,' and he wrote this story," she said of "Swing Into Romance."

"He's not a writer! He's a lawyer," the "Dancing With The Stars" alum added. "He just is good at putting together ideas when I really want to do something. And it's just fun to have that knowledge that he's a part of this."

In her latest Great American Family move, "A Royal Date for Christmas," McKellar plays stylist Bella Sparks, who is hired to outfit a new client Stefan (Damon Runyan) for a week of high-stakes meetings after he loses his luggage. 

Stefan also enlists Bella to be his "official plus one" at the formal events that he has to attend during the week. Bella later discovers that Stefan is actually Stefan William Francis Brown, the Duke of Tangford.

Though Bella and Stefan are both disillusioned with love, a fairytale romance blossoms between the pair in the week leading up to Christmas. 

"A Royal Date for Christmas" will premiere on Great American Family on Nov. 25. 

[nabataprophet]

ooc; TOA Anniversary Munday!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

tagging: you! come closer

---

Name: Limit

Pronouns: they/them

Birthday (no year): March 8

Where are you from? What is your time zone? east coast usa, babey. i attend college out of state but i'll always be in EST

Roleplay experience: over a decade now if i get any more specific i'll wither away into dust

Got any pets? three dogs (australian shepherd, shiba, chihuahua mix) and a cat (marble)

Favorite time of year: fall

Some interests and things you like: i draw sometimes i suppose

Some funfacts & trivia about you: i had eight and a half wisdom teeth. doctors hate and/or are fascinated by me

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? rhythm games, visual novels, mobage, rpgs

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: is "canine" an acceptable pokemon type sdfkjhfkhfsdk. vulpix is my little guy

How did you get into Fire Emblem? saw awakening at gamestop and thought it looked interesting. my brother and i had just finished virtue's last reward so we named our robins phi and sigma haha

What Fire Emblem games have you played? Fe4-7, part of 8, 10, awakening, fates (not rev), three houses (academy phase only), like....an hour of SOV, and had part of engage streamed to me (+watched the dlc)

First Fire Emblem game: Awakening

Favorite Fire Emblem game: Binding Blade stockholm syndrome real

Any Fire Emblem crushes? i'm not really the type to crush on characters tbh

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support?

- Awakening: Chrom

- Fates: Keaton

- Three Houses: burnt out but the plan was dorothea or mercedes - Engage: maybe if my personal copy ever arrives lol

Favorite Fire Emblem class: dark mage(s) and myrms

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class? judging by the types i tend to like, a mage that just completely sucks ass JFHDKJHFDKJDF

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? golden deer??????

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with? the lyn writer is gonna say something totally surprising here and say lyn

How did you find TOA? thought it would be a funny bit to pull on n (it was)

Current TOA muses: Lyn and Sophia

Who was your first TOA muse? If you don’t have them anymore, could you see yourself picking them up again? Volug. He's snoozing now.

Have you had any other TOA muses? Miranda, who stands outside my door every since day

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards? ........girls who have problems and issues LMFAOOOOO

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most? wouldn't you like to know weather boy

Favorite TOA-related memory: unscripted was my first event, so it'll always be special to me. lyn you'll always be famous for getting shot multiple times

How do you pronounce TOA? "toe-uh" and i stand by that

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day in TOA that you’d like to share? really want to write one of my diversity fliers one day

[finalgirlminamurray]

while i'm here i might as well do something of an introductory post.

horror as a genre has been a big special interest of mine for a long time. i've always been kind of drawn to "scary" things out of...i don't even know, some kind of interest in why certain things were considered scary and an inherent fascination in things that were deliberately designed to be scary because of that. i didn't really grow up watching horror movies like some people did (because as a kid i assumed i wasn't allowed to watch anything r-rated and i didn't have a strong interest in seeking out movies that were above my age) but i sure did read a lot and there's plenty of genuinely scary kids' books out there, even before i read my first stephen king novel (misery, age 13, borrowed from my aunt-who-was-really-mom's-friend who knew i could handle it.)

anyway once i turned 18 and went off to college i took full advantage of being able to watch whatever i wanted and started watching every classic horror film i could find and never looked back. i like horror from all decades and subgenres - i like to think i have a good variety in my tastes. i'm pretty desensitized at this point so i don't often find that movies actually "scare" me; that's not the primary reason i watch them. it's just my favorite genre.

it would be impossible to list all of my "favorites" but here are some particularly special and important movies to me:

the texas chain saw massacre (1974) - obviously. i was fascinated with this one ever since i heard the title and my brain latched onto it and wouldn't let go. there's just so much there to talk about with it and i've found it an endlessly compelling setting to work with. i'm also very fond of the texas chainsaw massacre 2 (1986), which is mostly a more "fun" movie but i still feel doesn't get analyzed enough. i watch both every year on the 18th of august. i know there are other films in the series but. i don't care for them.

the wicker man (1973) - i'm a big fan of folk horror in general but this is the ur-example for a reason. the soundtrack alone would probably have pushed this into my top 10 and yet it's still an extremely well-made fascinating film. another annual watch for me because how else are you going to celebrate may day

black christmas (1974) - i don't really think of myself as a slasher fan but the ones that i like i REALLY like. i really feel this one does not get its due in terms of the influence it ended up having on the genre nearly enough. great characters great atmosphere great sense of dark humor while often being genuinely scary. also coming up on its 50th anniversary this year so we should do something to celebrate

a nightmare on elm street (1984) - another slasher i really like. when wes craven's films hit they hit. nancy thompson one of my favorite horror protagonists ever. strangely enough i often find i'm alone for liking the first film best in the series. i would probably like 3 better if nancy didn't die. sorry!

re-animator (1985) - this is what i think of when i think of 80s horror. again the perfect combination of good characters great practical effects and an excellent dark sense of humor. it just suffers from regrettable treatment of its only female lead character but there's also always bride of re-animator which ups the wacky frankenstein nonsense without any scenes you have to warn people about before they get into it. jeffrey combs' herbert west one of my favorite little freaks in horror fiction.

american psycho (2000) - if you don't get the satire of this one that's on you. i just enjoy this one so much. it's brilliantly executed (ha!) i did read the book but i think the film does a very good job distilling and presenting its ideas in a more marketable but no less effective way. i really hope it doesn't develop the reputation of being an overplayed Meme Movie because it's such a good film.

the ring (2002) - okay i don't know if i'm putting this here because i think it's a great movie or if it was just such a formative experience for me but i'll allow myself one nostalgia choice. this was the first real horror movie i ever watched (anyone else's middle school have a pre-halloween event night where they'd have costume contests and show spooky movies? well we used to have one pg-13 rated film each year and this was the one that made an impression on me.) normally i hate 2000s horror remakes and this one does itself no favors by being an american remake of a foreign film (it does have more in common with the film adaptation of ringu than the original novel) but it's probably the best you can get with one of those. i was obsessed with this for a year after watching it and it's probably what actually kick-started my horror film interest. i went down a rabbit hole of ringu lore on my own at age 12-13 and sadako yamamura ended up being the first horror villain i really loved as a character in their own right while everyone my age made a big deal out of being terrified of "the ring girl". that might say something about me or it might not.

that's a brief tour of my horror history i guess. there are so many more films (and books!) i love and i'm always looking for more. my favorite decade of horror is almost definitely the 70s but there's something to love in every era (there are trends but they're not monoliths) and i love seeing new stuff. i can be pretty opinionated and can get a little pretentious, in a way, about my chosen genre so be assured it all comes from a place of love. i like more things than i hate, i think.

i'll be using this space to drop my thoughts about various scary movies and books i've seen and read recently or not so recently. i'm just glad to have a repository for All Of My Opinions.

final note: it's horror if i think it's horror based on vibes. hope this helps

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

Looking for cover recommendations...? Well, mine are an option. Like I said I would, I came up with a top 10 list of my covers this year, to figure out what I enjoyed the most. Starting with 10 under the cut! (+ summary of vsynth meme at the very end)

Number 10: Bim Bam Boum feat. Qing Su

Which one to put in Number 10 was a tough choice, because I started this list with Number 1, so only then came the choice to finalise which one of my covers would not be included on the list. I have other covers I like in different ways, for different reasons… So this feels a little unfair. In the end, still, I had to include one of my French covers; and though I've gotten better at using Mim's CHN2FRA dictionary since, when asked about it, someone told me this was their favourite cover I made this year. Upon relistening, I think I did a good job and Qing Su sounds good singing this song that I love. Also, Andi propaganda. (MY Andi came first. AO bad)

Number 9: Orizuru feat. GENBU (Lite)

I wouldn't put this one at the TOP of my list, but it's still pretty good in its own right. I'm happy with myself for completing this project that made use of both his SynthV Lite and his VOICEVOX voicebank. Like a dream come true… I'm not sure I did anything magical by any means, but I think this is a pretty decent use of his Lite and that GENBU sounds very good for this song.

Number 8: Again feat. Natsuki Karin (Lite)

Covering Crusher's Again was like… a given, coming from me. I decided to make it difficult by, you guessed it, using a Japanese Lite voicebank and forcing her to sing in English. (You didn't guess it?) I don't like Karin's AI tuning, I think it sounds bad, so I'm happy with myself for tuning her in a way I like! I don't think this cover is too bad, and my fantastic video for it is underrated. A gen, a gen, a gen, a geeeeeen. Neo jumpscare.

Number 7: Pinocchio feat. Mai

I just think it's neat! It's my newest cover and I really hope more people can listen to it and discover this cute song thanks to it. I think I did a decent job with it. Like I said, it's my most recent cover, and thinking about it, I really feel comfortable using SynthV at this point, which is inspiring for the future~

Number 6: Appetite of a People-Pleaser feat. GENBU (Lite)

GENBU Lite is a free version of an imperfect standard voicebank. But he's MY imperfect standard voicebank (in heart and in spirit). I'd wanted to cover this song with GENBU for a long time but the file I had sounded a little wrong and required that I put… Effort into it. (Imagine.) Another case of forcing a Japanese voicebank to sing in English, and I'm satisfied with how I did! Any time I practice using GENBU is a time I'm happy. (I did find someone who's better at using his Lite than I am recently… … … … I'm not too mad about it, though. Please make more people give GENBU love!)

Number 5: The Spring Ballet (Opera) feat. Chiyu (Lite)

I am extremely happy with this cover, which sounds fantastic and made me fall in love with Chiyu, but I can't possibly put it at the top of my list being that I didn't tune it myself. It was made possible by Kaori Suzu's fantastic svp and tuning! I only had some small editing to do here and there to compensate for the fact that I wasn't using a full AI voicebank, but rather a Standard Lite. It also made me fall in love with this song, and I listen to Chang Sisi's version all the time.

Number 4: A Sardine Grows from the Soil feat. Utaune Nami DV

I know she's not a very well known voicebank, but it was my childhood dream to use Utaune Nami! Her DeepVocal port made it easy. This was my second cover with her, and I think I used her much better than I did the first time. This cover was also released to celebrate the one year anniversary of my very first SynthV cover, with was of this song with GENBU Lite. Even though I think I did really well with my first cover, I'm very proud of my progress, and being that this cover was done in DeepVocal, I like to see it as proof that I have really learned to tune by myself!

Number 3: Lucky Me feat. Haruno Sora (Lite)

Hell yeah this list is completely subjective. I think Haruno Sora was a fantastic choice for this song, and I'm very satisfied with my tuning and her English (being that her Lite can only sing in Japanese). I like that I made her sing like someone who can sing in English with a Japanese accent. I find her Lite's AI to be a little too excitable and to sound wrong by itself. It was an interesting challenge to come up with my own tuning (even though SynthV has so many ways of making it easier - it's my favourite program for a reason!) in a way that made use of Haruno Sora's iconic singing style.

Number 2: ggrks-ググれカス- (Google It) feat. Mai & An Xiao

I have to put this song in the top 3! Not only did I make a full (cute!) MV with my OCs for it, but I'm also satisfied with my tuning and my English translation. I think Mai sounds pretty solid in this cover, and I'm satisfied with my use of An Xiao, being that it was my second cover with him, and I don't find him the easiest voicebank to use. Definitely one of my most solid works imo-- and it's extra fun for me because I love my OCs!

Number 1: Alluring Secret ~Black Vow~ feat. Qing Su

I definitely peaked in January of this year. I think I was depressed, which ironically, pushed me to be patient with all my projects and do things I was really interested in. This cover is my favourite I've made with Qing Su, and it got the most views for a reason! I'm really proud of my Qing Su genderbend, even though I think I used it even better in Roses Are Red last year - and though I think Qing Su killed the feminine part.

It's just uh. A giant shame that the creator of this song turned out to be a huge transphobe. So I don't think I'll update that broken svp link in the description. Oh well. There are other songs

In the future… I'd really like to create my own songs. That would also be a childhood dream come true, but to be honest, it's never really worked for me. Is it an impossible goal, or can I find tools to make it work…? Right now, I'm thinking about it a lot. I believe in my ability to write lyrics, so there's always that.

In the future, I would like to cover more energetic songs. If I wanted to grow my following, I would also need to use more popular voicebanks and cover more popular songs… but that would be pretty OOC, wouldn't it?

This is it! Thank you for reading! I like my other covers too, believe me. Hide and Seek and Un monde parfait almost made it to the list. To conclude, here is a summary with my more iconic covers for each month:

I was unfortunately forced out of home in September. This is why I believe in SynthV mobile, a concept I made up,

[purplesurveys]

1744

Do you like getting flowers as a gift?  They're not the most practical/long-lasting of a gift, but that's not to say I dislike flowers as a gift. I definitely feel giddy receiving them, no matter the sender or no matter the flowers.

Who is one person you never get tired of?  That's impossible to answer because I need a break from everybody at some point lol. I went overseas with Angela and by the fifth day –when we flew back to Manila – we were all already pretty quiet around each other and it was obvious we all just wanted to get back to our own homes.

How different would your life be if “that one thing” didn’t happen?  Probably still stuck in a cycle of toxicity; I never would've discovered BTS; and I'd likely continue to be suffocatingly dependent.

What is “that one thing”?  My breakup from three years ago. It was its third anniversary last Friday btw! I'll never forget the date because it coincides with Angela's birthday, but regardless I like to 'celebrate' it because it's essentially remembering my independence and it's the first day that led me to where I am now.

What’s the most desperate thing you did?  Since we're on the topic, I did a lot of pathetic desperate-y things post-breakup but I think the most ridiculous one had to be the time I asked her to meet up with me a month after to talk things out. There was nothing to talk about, and I think there had been a part of me that wanted to pitch it just because I thought there was a chance I could still get her back.

Anyway, that meeting was a complete waste of time and I squirm every time I think of it now. Bless her heart for even agreeing to do it.

Where was the last place you took a train to?  Ooh I can't remember the station's name anymore but we had been in Bangkok and we needed to take the train to get to the ARMY that Angela traded D-Day tickets with. We also needed to get the tickets to her ASAP as fuck because the tickets Angela had on hand were for the show THAT very day, and the ARMY was already preparing to get inside the shuttle that would take her to the arena.

Her hotel was still quite a long walk away from the nearest station, so I remember Angela and I blazing through the streets of Bangkok, pushing our legs the quickest they could, all under the hot sun and HUMID humid air. It was an unpleasant experience combined with the pressure of racing against time lol but at the end we got to get to the ARMY and today it's a story we laugh over now.

What are your living arrangements currently? Are you happy with them?  I live with my family and two dogs. I am quite satisfied with it, yes; our culture is different in that children are put in no rush to move out, and it certainly helps me out as the average salary here is barely sustainable, especially if you're alone.

Have you met your soulmate?  I thought I did, but after that didn't work out I stopped believing in the concept.

If your best friend wanted to cheat on their partner, you would say what?  I'd demand answers and I wouldn't go easy on her either. I care for Hans as much as I do her, and I imagine such a revelation would really rock our friendship.

Who do you know that gives very sound advice?  Hans and Andi are great with tough love, which is how I prefer to take advice. They'd be the first to tell me if I'm being stagnant, if I'm headed towards a wrong decision, if I'm investing my thoughts over the wrong priorities, etc.

At what age did you start to feel like a teen and not a kid anymore?  I was 10 – I had gotten my first period and when you're in that puberty phase, a period is one of the first things girls go through that'd make you feel like a grownup.

What is your parents’ idea of grounding you?  Taking away my laptop - basically cutting my access to wifi. I was unhealthily obsessed with the internet at the time and was never away from my laptop, so looking back now it was really the only way they can ground me if they needed to, because it was all I used.

Do you think art museums are pointless?  No. For many people, including myself, looking at art can be a big way to remove stress and look for inspiration. You don't even need to understand art or be an art collector, which I feel is one of the main misconceptions that drive others away from museums. At least from my own experiences, I step into museums not usually caring for the big-brain explanations behind each artwork – I just stare at them for minutes at a time simply because I find everything pretty and calming.

Do you care about looks when you’re looking for a romantic partner?  It does matter to an extent, yes. I can't imagine having to kiss someone I'm honestly not attracted to.

How many times have you moved?  Three times with my family.

Is Christmas stressful?  Only the gift-buying is really only the stressful part of it – when I'm trying to identify a budget for gifts, then identifying ALL the people I wanna give gifts to, then thinking of unique gifts for each of them, then having to strategize where I'll get each gift (do I actually go to the mall? If so, which one? If online shopping, do I look for an item on Shopee? Lazada? Zalora?), then finally, making sure each gift is wrapped and has its own short greeting note.

Your best friend has a good or bad taste in music?  I don't care for music tastes tbh and I never really think in good vs bad terms when it comes to people's preferences.

What would your friends be surprised to see in your music library?  Maybe Ariana Grande? Never really vocal about my pop tendencies so that might come as a surprise to some.

Do you like to talk about the future when in a serious relationship?  Well, yes. You have to make sure you and your partner are on the same boat at some point.

Do you like public displays of affection?  It's whatever. I can easily look away if I find it cringey.

Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage?  I don't believe in it per se, but I also wouldn't judge either way. Some couples just prefer to live separately until marriage and that's fine too.

Do you watch mukbangs?  I'll watch the ASMR mukbang kind occasionally.

Do you have a lot of friends? Do you have a partner? Have you ever had one?  Depends on what you count as many, but I think I have a healthy amount of friends. I don't have a partner but have had one before.

Do you currently have any hickeys? From who?  Nope.

Who was the last person to come to your house?  My sister's best friend.

Have you ever had sex with the same gender?  Yes.

If you’ve experienced both, is sex better with men or women?  I've only slept with a woman.

Have you ever been the other woman?  No.

Would you ever want to be with a virgin? If no, why not?  That kind of stuff doesn't matter to me too much, tbh. I'm way more conscious/sensitive about age; I wouldn't want to date someone that I find too young or old.

Do you constantly find yourself internet stalking your ex?  I only did that, like, the first week post-breakup. Never did it again the moment I realize how pathetic it was, and these days the only times I hear about her are from my friends who'd occasionally see her out and about and think they have to update me. I always tell them they don't have to though lol, I stopped caring a very, very long time ago.

Are you friends with any of your exes?  No.

Do you have an addiction? To what?  Coffee and BTS.

Blunts, bowls or bongs?  I don't fuck around with any of those.

When you have a fight with your partner what do you do?  I used to be the type to want to talk it out immediately, and I remember not understanding why my partner would ask for space. Like I'd give it to her, but it also left me struggling to understand why it was ever needed in the first place.

Thinking of it now, I do feel like my impatience for communication might have something to do with my upbringing. My mom is extremely passive-aggressive, and she has never expressed her feelings whenever she'd find herself upset with any of her kids. We'd just know – and it's usually because she'd give us the cold shoulder, slam doors, etc. As a result, I never wanted to nurture that kind of environment with any of my relationships so that's why I always tried to ask my partner if we can talk now. I didn't get why she had to sleep it off or ask to be alone or whatever.

Who does the grocery shopping in your house?  My parents do, but my sister and I contribute to the bill. Well, what we do is give them our respective contributions and it's up to my parents to allocate the money to whatever bill they think is urgent.

Are your parents still together?  They've been together since 1993.

Have any siblings you know of but don’t actually know personally?  No.

Greatest fear?  Cockroaches and my parents getting sick.

Something most people fear that you do not fear at all?  Heights.

Don’t you hate getting nice & comfy & then having to pee?  Sure. Or any reason to have to get up, like realizing my phone's battery is low and having to plug it in.

Ever faked being pregnant?  I've never had a reason to do so, so no.

Ever had a major surgery performed on you?  Nope.

Which of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of?  Greed and pride. To an extent, gluttony.

Do you believe in divorce?  Yes.

Is intelligence a turn on for you?  It is. Why do you think Namjoon is my BTS bias? Hahahaha.

Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you?  My parents.

Do you treat others better or worse than yourself and why?  Better. It's the disease of a perpetual people pleaser.

When you sleep next to someone who usually falls asleep first?  100% the other person. I get very conscious falling asleep next to someone; I struggled even with my ex. I'd fall asleep hours after she does, and I'd wake up much earlier, too.

Do you think it is harder for a parent to outlive their child or for their child to outlive them?  Continued from whenever. Sunday I think. I've seen parents having to say goodbye to their own kids and it's always a heartbreaking thing to witness. My grand-aunt has lost three siblings in a span of two years, then had to deal with his son (my uncle)'s death not long after; I routinely check up on her because of everything that's happened, even though I didn't even really grow up with her.

What is one selfish thing you tend to do?  Order food for myself and not ask people around me if they want anything (largely because I am likely expected to pay for everything if I do raise the conversation). Idk I guess this is a normal thing everywhere else but with Filipino culture being super community-based I can accept if people think of me as selfish because of this.

What kinds of people do you find intimidating?  People my age who are entrepreneurs.

Who is the most overbearing person you know?  One of our clients is batshit insane. Fortunately I don't handle her but I've heard enough horror stories from the team that does. Apparently she has publicly yelled at and humiliated my teammates on way more than one occasion. People routinely resign from our company because of that client – I'm pretty sure she's made people from her own workplace leave as well.

How old was the first person you kissed?  We were both 16 at the time if I remember correctly.

Do you plan on moving out within the next year?  Probably not.

Have you ever slept nude?  Sure.

How many stories tall is your dream house? 2 or 3 would be fine.

Do you consider yourself to be promiscuous?  Nope.

Do you have any obscure pets?  I don't.

Do you consider yourself politically correct?  I try to be for the most part but I never really have the full scope of the right terminology for All The Things these days.

[violentfeminisim]

Uhh so I saw you wanted prompts and I usually never request anything but I'd love to see a eddie munson x fem!reader with a TON of angst but for the reader. Like no character death or stuff like that angst, but more like eddie cheated on the reader and it's the reader going through the emotions of that. Idk if that made sense and you literally don't have to write this but just thought I'd give you a prompt!!

Yes, i live for angst i hope i do this justice

~~

“So tell me when you hear my heart stop You're the only one that knows”

Have you ever seen a Daisy completely froze preserved in ice? Now imagine if someone came along and smashed the daisy into a million pieces with no regard for the daisy at all, Well that daisy was me, and that someone was Eddie Munson. I thought we were in love, i was a fool to believe that even for a second i was enough for him. 

I stayed in my room for day’s my heart numb unable to cry, just trying to process how this happened, I was going to surprise Eddie by coming over for a sleepover at his house to celebrate our 1 year anniversary, but when i got there, some preppy cheerleader was in his room on top of him naked. My mom tried to talk to me and so did Robyn, and Nancy and all my friends but i wouldn't move. I didn’t know what to do, Eddie called, and called, and called but i just let it ring.  Someone stayed over every night of the week, they took turns it’s like they thought if they didn’t watch me I'd die of sadness. 

Robyn stayed Mondays, Steve on Tuesday's and Wednesday's, and Dustin slept in my room with me every other night, he was worried about me. “Y/n can you please get out of bed?” Dustin asked holding my hands as his eyes watered “Your scaring me” he said quietly. Hearing Dustin worry about me that way felt like i was braking again “Dusty?” my soar voice whispered from not talking for two weeks “Y/n?” he said wiping a tear from his cheek “I just miss him so much” i croaked as tears started to fall down my face, Dustin threw his smaller arms around me tightly “It’s okay” he whispered holding me like i was going to fade away “I just want him back dusty”.

Slowly but surely the sadness i felt faded away, as my pieces slowly started to put themselves back together, all i was left with was anger and disappointment and Eddie, he never stopped calling. I sat on the floor of my bedroom with my brother as he painted my nails for me “He doesn't know what he’s losing y’know” Dustin told me as he finished his finale layer it made me ache to my core knowing that i had put a rift between Dustin and his role model, and i hated it. 

I was angry “Your phone’s ringing Y/n” Dustin told me shaking me from my thoughts, I walked up to the phone attached to my wall as it rung, I slowly touched the handle of the phone knowing who was waiting on the other side, i grabbed the phone that hung on the wall and through it out my bedroom window “Shit!” Dustin shouted standing up from his spot on the floor, “I hate you!” i shouted out the window, at no one exactly “I hate you, i hate you Eddie Munson I hate you!” i yelled “Fuck you”.

“By blood and by me And I fall when you leave”

I was sitting on my couch with Steve watching some stupid movie form his work when my doorbell rang “I’ll get it” I told him standing up my- Eddie's dio shirt clinging to me, when i swung the door open there he stood, 5 foot 10 inches of pure heartbreak, “Y/n’ he sighed “please talk to me, I'm sorry i didn’t mean it” he said “Eddie i don’t think you should be here” Steve said walking up putting a hand on the door “Harington I'm trying to apologize to my girlfriend” he said “ex girlfriend” i told him “Fuck you Munson” i said as i slammed the door in his face. Eddie Munson has broken me but i would put myself back together all by myself, i didn’t need him. I would survive

“ So tell me when my sigh's over You're the reason why I'm closed “

[dearfuturehusbandblog]

I Am SO Angry

Dear Future Husband,

It's been a while since I've posted here, because there's been so much family drama and work drama and just plain depression** in my life that I had no motivation to do anything aside from lump around and watch Netflix.

And then things seemed to be getting better. But apparently not.

I'm pissed.

When I get upset at things I don't usually seethe. My natural state when I get upset is depression, but right now I am so angry that I want to just go outside and scream until I have no more voice left inside of me.

I am so mad at my mother right now and I have no one that I can talk to about it.

I've mentioned this before, but MotherLivelyHeart has problems. But one of the biggest problems is that she lives in her own head in such a way that she basically makes plans and decides things and then doesn't share them with anyone else, but then gets upset when everyone around her isn't on the same page. Like, um, you didn't tell us what you were doing/thinking, so how on earth are we supposed to know???

Well, that just happened the other day, but it's gotten worse. Let me explain:

A decade ago I had a traumatic experience. I try not to think about it, but it comes to mind every so often. I realized a little over a year ago that the 10 year anniversary was coming up and that I'd never had a seudas hodaa or benched gomel or anything when it happened, and that I probably should do something, so I added the date to my calendar and then kind of forgot about it again. But when going over my calendar last week, I saw that the Hebrew date was the Shabbos before Chanukah this year.

So, I messaged like 5 close friends and told them I didn't want to make a big deal, but thought it would be nice to have them over for a little melava malka commemorating that my experience could have been worse, but wasn't. God, that sounds so lame when I write it out like that. These are the things we celebrate? My life is pathetic.

Anyway, I included my sisters in the group, but not my mother because she has a tendency to take over these group conversations and I was absolutely not interested in any of that. I figured I'd let her know this was going on later and if she decided to join, then whatever.

But then LilSis messaged me privately and asked if everyone invited was vaxxed. I told her I thought so and she mentioned she wasn't sure about three of the five, so I told her I'd try to find out and then I private messaged all three. Two responded quickly that they were and then the third, probably my closest and dearest friend, replied that she has a policy to not disclose that information to anyone (friends/family/employers), it doesn't matter who.

So I told LilSis and she said that because she and her husband are being super careful because of LittleBean (as their pediatrician has told them to be), she wouldn't be able to come if Unvaxxed is there.

That in and of itself would be all well and good, but there's some information that predates this.

You see, MotherLivelyHeart has issues. I felt the need to reiterate that once more because she takes every F*ING thing personally. This includes any time LilSis gets busy and can't bring LittleBean by to visit her. Any time she can't see LittleBean, she takes it as LilSis and LilBIL shutting her out on purpose and denying her the right to see her grandchild. FFS.

So what predates the melava malka is MotherLivelyHeart messaging me and LilSis on Signal saying she wants to get together on Chanukah. Keep in mind, I still live with this mad woman, because of f*ing financial reasons.

This was her exact message:

My sister responded ecstatically and I was just kind of like whatever.

Literally the next day she sent this message on WhatsApp to me, my sisters, and my brother in law:

LilSis (& LilBIL) and I had already responded and she'd spoken to BigSis in person, so none of us really understood what "I haven't heard from y'all" was supposed to mean. But whatever.

There was no preamble, no reasoning for choosing the first night. It all just seemed arbitrary and like she wanted to see LittleBean first thing on Chanukah. (Maybe before the machutanim? I wouldn't put it past her, since she's stupidly competitive with them, not that they would even know).

Anyway, Wednesday night was when I realized we might have a small issue. You see, because LilSis & LilBIL are being super careful about LittleBean, if I had a possibly unvaxxed person over motzei Shabbos before Chanukah, they wouldn't want to come the first night. When I discussed this with LilSis, she concurred. I asked if another night would work and offered up the last two, giving optimal distancing time and she said that either would be great, and motzei Shabbos Chanukah would be even more fun because it's also Rosh Chodesh, but I should obviously clear it with our mother.

And so, I went to MotherLivelyHeart.

I said, "So.... I did a semi-stupid thing." And then I explained the conflict. And she was mad. Like, trying to make it seem like she wasn't mad, but she was clearly mad. When I explained it wasn't just an arbitrary melava malka, but a mini seudas hodaa or whatever, she seemed surprised it had been that long and her demeanor seemed to shift a little.

Go ahead and ask me why she was mad. Come on, you know you want to.

She was mad because she wanted to see LilSis & LilBIL + LittleBean on the first night so that she "would be free for the rest of Chanukah" to invite over some family friends who aren't vaxxed. A family that includes a mother who works in the frum school system, five little kids who all attend school in the frum school system, and the father who learns in a kollel that does not mask or distance or require any vaccines. Oh, wait, the schools the kids go to don't either.

Considering she knew it would be a conflict with LilSis & LilBIL, she figured if she had them over the first night, then it wouldn't matter that she wouldn't see them the rest of the week.

Now, keep in mind, SHE HADN'T EVEN DISCUSSED THIS WITH THAT OTHER FAMILY YET.

She was MAD at ME for planning a mini seudas hodaa melava malka because it conflicted with her NON-PLANS. Plans that she apparently had in mind when she decided on the first night of Chanukah for the family get together, but which she HAD NOT shared with ANYONE yet.

But whatever.

I told her that she could see those kids whenever she wanted, but that I was super uncomfortable with being around them in close contact indoors unmasked because we had 11 different units in our building all get COVID at the same time (9 of which had been vaxxed already) and I would rather be super careful to avoid anyone who spends their days in an environment that isn't careful. (The schools literally keep closing classes down every time a kid gets sick or a teacher tests positive. The kids are in and out of the classroom ALL THE TIME).

She seemed to come around to the idea that she could see them earlier in the week of Chanukah and then we could do the family thing on motzei Shabbos/Rosh Chodesh Chanukah. Everything seemed ok.

But no. No, of course not.

8am the very next morning I got this f*ing WhatsApp message from her.

{For those who don't know, I share a car with MotherLivelyHeart because when I was like 25, I was bullied into buying a used, manual car that I couldn't even drive and after her parents passed away MotherLivelyHeart got enough money in inheritance to trade in both our cars for one that we would share. An agreement that she seems to have forgotten because every time there's something wrong with the car, it's "our car" and I need to help out, but any time I need it and it's an inconvenience to her, it's "her" car and I need to stop being possessive over it. Forgetting for a moment that she has a problem with her legs and I do most of the driving for the shopping (which I also usually pay for) and even to take her to appointments. Yeah. And the "entitlement" she's referring to is me giving her a week's notice that I would need the car to do a chessed for someone and then actually needing the car to do that chessed for someone. It's "entitlement" because it conflicted with a thing she wanted to do that she hadn't even told me she wanted to do that night. You see a theme here?}

Anyway, she sent that message after this one which was sent to the family group chat (though I saw the other one first because of another message she'd followed it up with).

And so I was mad. Mad because I didn't "ambush" her with information. I presented it apologetically. I presented it without knowing the plans she hadn't even made yet. I presented it like, what is it now, two weeks in advance???

And then just to add to the unnecessary confusion (and I guess because nobody responded to that message) she replied to that message she sent on Thursday with this last night:

You have no idea how badly I just want to reply "whatever".

But OH, it get worse!

How does it get worse? I'm sure you're dying to know at this point. You've come this far, right?

It gets worse because while BigSis and I were sitting on the couch this evening, we heard a noise from MotherLivelyHeart's room.

BigSis pulled out a headphone and called, "Did you say something?"

MotherLivelyHeart responded, "Did you say something?"

BigSis said, "No, I thought you said something to me."

And MotherLivelyHeart responded, "No, sorry, I was just testing out this game I got on Amazon. The ______ family is coming over tomorrow and I wanted a new game for the kids to play."

And wouldn't you believe which f*ing family is coming over tomorrow.

The very same family I told MotherLivelyHeart I didn't want to be around!

AND OH, WOULDN'T YOU BELIEVE, an UNVAXXED family at that!

"But wait", you might be thinking, "didn't she just say that unvaccinated people aren't welcome in her house!?!?!?!?!?!"

🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

And now you know why I'm pissed.

I was respectful.

I didn't use names when I told MotherLivelyHeart that basically my best friend won't disclose whether or not she's vaxxed.

I was respectful to her when I private messaged this friend and told her it was with a heavy heart that I have to uninvite her, even though she's literally always the first on my list.

I was respectful when I didn't ruin the Shabbos food, which would have been so easy to do - basically all I had to do was NOT cook anything. Because even though I'm the one who makes the menu, shops, and cooks every f*ing week, with all the stuff going on at work MotherLivelyHeart and BigSis did the menu and shopping this week and then without actually asking me if I would make anything, just ASSUMED that I would! All I had to do was nothing!

I was respectful when I didn't express my anger with her Thursday, Friday, or on Shabbos.

I was so f*ing respectful.

And I'm dying inside.

I'm dying because I can't say any of this to anyone. Telling my friend or even my sister is lashon hara. Telling this to ANYONE will make them view my mother in a negative light and I would be responsible for that and any ripple effects.

I'm dying because holding this crap in is going to kill me. I'm honestly shocked it hasn't already. I've written so many "to be read at my funeral" letters over the years, because I've assumed I'd be dead already from this stress.

I'm dying because I see no future for myself. I see no way out of this insanity.

This is my life forever.

Until one of us dies, this is it.

Nothing will get better.

I have no good mazal for anything.

I have been trying to do other things, trying somehow to find another way out of this f*ing mess. But do you know how hard it is to do anything when THIS is your mindset!?

I can't find a new job because I don't operate on normal hours and I have to share a vehicle with this crazy woman.

And I don't operate on normal hours because I don't sleep right and I don't eat right.

And I don't sleep or eat right because I'm CONSTANTLY stressed and I keep my stress in my gut and my head.

And I'm constantly stressed because THIS is the crap I deal with every f*ing day.

I'm exhausted. Emotionally and physically exhausted.

And there's nobody to save me from this mess.

God doesn't care. And He controls everything. So He won't save me and He won't even let another human save me.

So are you out there somewhere? Is that even a possibility?

God seems to take every possibility of escape from me. Every possibility of happiness from me. I'll probably be the first person to live forever because He won't let me die out of spite.

I feel completely and utterly alone. Because even those who can relate to some of my experiences can't relate to my entire experience as a whole. There is no one out there who actually gets it and accepts me as the f*ing mess that I am. And they shouldn't have to, because I am a complete f*ing mess. I'm too much for me! How on earth would I not be too much for someone else? Nobody needs this crap in their life. And why would I even want to force this on anyone.

I'm literally at a point where I am fantasizing about hiring a man to literally just lay on a bed and hold me so that for even one hour of my life I'll know what that feels like. Because I don't see it ever happening for real.

But then my overthinking mind cuts in and says "but what if you do find that right man one day? how will you explain to them that you basically hired a man to not be shomer with you?" And then I'm stuck with the what-ifs. What-ifs that still feel like fantasies in and of themselves.

Do you know what it's like to cry on Shabbos because you hate your life and feel like God doesn't care about you. And then cry more because you know you're not supposed to cry on Shabbos and even though you feel like God doesn't care about you, you know you're doing something wrong to that very same God?

THIS is my life.

Why would anyone want this?

Even if knights in shining armor were real, where the hell would one be able to whisk me off to that I wouldn't feel the guilt for "abandoning" my mother regardless of how toxic she is for me?

So at this point I'm supposed to wish for Moshiach, right? I'm supposed to hope and pray for a human who will be too good for me to come on God's behalf to save me and everyone else from this godawful mess that is this life. This world. This galus.

But I have no faith. I can't honestly say that ani maamin, because I do not believe. I have hope that something will happen, but at this point I'd be happy with a nuclear holocaust that just got me off this godforsaken planet already.

I'm done with this stupidity.

I'm done with this stress.

I'm done with God keeping me alive to continue to sin even though I have begged and prayed for death for most of my life already.

At this point I'm just hoping it's the stress that kills me. People die from less all the time. How the f* am I still here?

I wish I had better news for you, FH.

I don't even know if I hope you exist anymore. Maybe it would be better for both of us if you didn't. Or maybe you could adjust your madrega a little bit so someone else is worthy of you instead, because if you're holding out for me.... I dunno. I wouldn't.

-LivelyHeart

-----------

**So, remember how I mentioned having spoken to a therapist back in like July. Guess who still hasn't gotten back in touch with her because they can't afford it!

I reached out to a local chessed organization for assistance. For oh so many reasons that didn't go well. I literally had a panic attack when I got off the phone with them.

They said they could help me out if I could get in touch with another organization who could reach out to the therapist to kind of vet her because they don't want to just arbitrarily give money to anyone who says they need it for therapy. Right. Because so many people contact chessed organizations asking for anonymous contributions to AFFORD THERAPY. *major eye roll here*

So now it's on me to get in touch with that other organization and have them connect with her. So that they can get back in contact with the chessed organization and tell them she's good so that they'll pay for me to at least start therapy. But I've been so f*ing stressed from home and work crap that I haven't had the emotional energy to do that.

I recently saw something that said "SELF CARE IS TOUGH WHEN YOU DON'T CARE." I hate the source, but that sentence resonated with me, because it's basically my life in a nutshell.

But you know what's even sadder: Not caring so much that you can't tell whether or not you care anymore.

[migleefulmoments]

Le Sign, Abby

Anonymous asked: this is funny, C posted a photo of beard, D posted photos with the beard. Almost like they were sitting next to each other and saying “ok ok I will say this” (and it isn’t like EVERY Halloween Darren and Chris post their costumes for their fans)

 ajw720 answered:

The only difference, C controls his SM and the bearding, D does not, (that isn’t true but I know you need to believe it or your world comes tumbling down). but they knew the Halloween post was coming when C posted his belated b-day wishes (not that he acknowledged they were late).  

It really is, if you can remove the very human, tragic element, like a script for a really bad D Movie.  C posts “Happy Birthday, Babe!” a day after the man’s actual b-day and “D” praises his fake bride for MAKING TEN costumes (let me stop you right there, Darren was actually APPRECIATING Mia for putting together 10 costumes while he was too busy to help. He was praising her for thinking of and executing 10 costumes. He was honoring her for being as into Halloween as he is and playing along. He was praising her because he loves her. If he wanted to praise her for shopping he would have use the word shopping. Your reductive shopping tirades- which you turned it into a full day of nonsense intended to bully Mia- misses the point of his Tweet entirely. At the end of the day, he appreciates her. If your lover appreciates you AND is sensitive enough to care about your feelings they should write something about you on social media..if they aren’t, then it sucks to be you but shut up because the shopping straw man silly makes you look petty, obtuse, unappreciated, mean girls who are so jealous you can’t see straight.  Yes, a lot of their costumes this year were mass-produced and purchased this year-so what? Who cares? Is the bar of Halloween costumes that they are all couture? In the past they have used costume designers- they never made their own costumes entirely from scratch themselves. But that doesn’t mean that coordinating 10 costumes isn’t time consuming and clearly Darren didn’t care -he appreciated her.) Sure praise her if she actually designed them and sat with her sewing machine  No, she went online and ordered things (I doubt she even went to a store) (Why would that matter? You really have no idea what she did do you? You’re just grasping because you're so pissed that Darren mentioned Mia and now you are stuck erasing that history...AGAIN. Darren is always doing things with- and saying things about- his wife that prove time and time again that they are a couple and he loves her...it infuriates you because you have to erase it or "debunk” it. ) and 3 couple costumes were cheap frankly (Again, why would that matter but also at $50+ per costume, I wouldn't call that “cheap”?).  The only thought was how narcissistic she could be (What did she do? I didn’t see her social media...what did she say? Oh, right, you didn’t see her social media.  You're just pissed that Darren mentioned one nice word about her. Your the one who blew it up into Armageddon and gave her so much attention) in their execution (as @flowersintheattic254 pointed out even the Mario costume had  a reason, it was a reminder of Japan and the fake encagement by referring to the ad that paid for their trip there) (Huh? You're insane.  That’s suuuucccchhhhhh a stretch- but then you cannot stop thinking about that trip. I just don’t understand who the person you believe ccDarren is.  Is he such a coward that he lets Mia walk all over him and hurt him over and over? Why would he agree to be a dog hurt by CDV or make fun of the place they g to engaged if ccMia was ruining his life? Nobody is that much of a wuss ass twit.  The rest of us on planet sanity know that a the real reason they wore that costume was because Mario wins when he rescues Peach).

And seriously how are people not questioning that she spent the entirety of her month picking TEN costumes? (Because it isn’t our place to question that. I don’t get your beef? Is it because she isn’t stuck working 9-5 in a cubicle like you are? Is it because she both a successful business and a wealthy spouse so she has more freedom than you do?)  Who has time for this?  I know, i know, a person whose only role in life is to play fake plus one.(You come off as so jealous every time you bring this up-and god how many times can you bring it up? How other people live shouldn’t concern you. It just spins up your anxiety and you have no control over it. Couples make decisions about their roles and their work schedules and nobody else gets a say and nothing is “normal” or “abnormal”.) 

I am just so tired by D in particular being utterly dragged down by the useless dead weight by his side and his team’s sole ambition to promote her and make her sound like a decent person. (Here’s the harsh reality Abby- Darren posted his Halloween costumes and gave Mia a simple mentioned and you have written or reposted 23 posts about it just today. It has consumed your blog and your life. The ONLY person pushing and promoting Mia is YOU and your ilk. Mia is a decent person with lots and lots of friends-but even if she was the world’s worst person-even if she sat all day stalking and cyber-bulling strangers - you still have no say in who Darren marries and loves. That you don’t like her- or that you 

If they wanted to praise her, maybe they should have forced her to participate in the zero waste initiative instead of sitting drinking by the pool or have her volunteer to help young girls who have been kicked out of their homes, or have been raped.  (This entire paragraph is rich-talk about moving the goalposts- if he had put her in the video-which wasn't under his control since it wasn’t his project, he was just the host- you would have lost your shit over her being in the video raging about her lack of worth  she isn’t famous, she’s a slut, blah blah blah...like please please have enough self respect to recognize that you would have been livid if she was in the project). Or pick any cause and truly volunteer her time to promote it (you have NO idea what she does with her time or money because she doesn’t post it on social media. If she did, you would be raging that she was looking for attention- so please stop. What do YOU do to help the world?).  If she is not going to actually get a job and pursue a career (SHE OWNS A BUSINESS!!!!! Just like your boss... and you know she does. Your refusal to accept that is an ad hominom logical fallacy) please force her to do something that is actually of value and contribute something good to the world. But to praise her for picking TEN costumes? (Le sigh.)   

Praise that comes from a man who this year alone won three awards, is starring in a show he created and wrote the music for, has his first big movie premiere this week, is exec producer and star of a huge show on N/etflix, just announced his starring role with 2 A++ lists actors next spring on Broadway, celebrated the 5th anniversary of the festival he created, volunteered his time for the zero waste initiative, performed at several charity events, and was just yesterday name limited series actor of the decade.  Where is the praise for him from his “bride”? (Abby, come on, just because she doesn’t have public sm doesn’t mean she isn’t praising him in real life -or on her private sm-in fact, she has praised him on her social media that has been reblogged and you bitch about that. She was bragging about him speaking Tagalog at a dinner and your bitched and moaned that she didn’t know the language his mom speaks-forgive me for not believing you know more than she does). He at least deserves it. (Why does he deserve it? Because he’s famous and he’s a good actor? People are more than the value of their celebrity. You sure buy into the celebrity-obsessed culture don’t you? Pathetic. A husband thanking his wife for doing something for him is not something you can argue about-It is what it is. You have no say. There is no argument, no straw man, no gaslighting, and no erasing it). 

(here is where it gets intense)

How do they not see how ridiculous it is for someone with D’s accomplishments in 2019 alone praise a person for purchasing TEN costumes for Halloween? (SMH because one has nothing to do with other. Comparing them is another logical fallacy-your entire post is full of them. It’s like saying that if I am honored for my work saving kids’ lives, you can’t be honored for your work because your work in corporate immigration isn’t as important as mine is). And stans, how do you accept that this is right or normal. (I just don’t get why you continue to ask us WHY and then outright refuse to learn from what we say.  A life without learning is a wasted a life, Abby. To answer your question-because there is no “right" or “normal” when it comes to a stranger’s life. Darren’s life is Darren’s life and he can marry a Rhode’s Scholar or high school drop out with a low IQ. He can marry someone who never wanted to work or someone who wants to own the world. He can marry a humanitarian or Kim Kardashian.  It’s his choice..not yours...you have no say whatsoever.)  You really know nothing about him and have such little respect for him as a person if you continue to accept the character his idiotic team has created on his behalf.  It is so far from the person he is and that he generally holds himself out to be when given the opportunity. (oooh someone has been reading my blooogggggg. No, Abby, YOU have no clue who Darren is.  When I read Darren’s words or hear him in an interview, I take in what he says and I simply add that info into my internal “who is Darren” file. This is how we learn about the personality of anyone and everyone we know. We hear what they say about themselves and we take in how they act and what they care about, what they don’t care about, what they think is important, and what they do with their life at work and outside of work and we form a persona in our minds. You, on the other hand, have decided Darren is a very specific persona that you only see on rare occasions and looks far more like Blaine than he does like the real Darren.  So instead of listening and learning, you immediately set about to rewrite his words, change the meaning, and debase their value and intent because you have already formulated your version of Darren and it’s static. You won’t accept anything he does or says as “real” if it doesn’t meet that fantasy Darren. But this isn’t how it works in real life. We don’t label someone and then expect them to fit that model at all times or we get angry and scream “this isn’t normal”.  Everyone we know is growing and learning and changing al the time and we simply take in that information and store it away as part of their personality. You spend so much time being so angry about Darren’s life  because you haven’t actually seen much of your ccDarren since Glee ended. And you know that at some level because you just said “It is so far from the person he is and that he generally holds himself out to be when given the opportunity” That is the key here- the Darren you love is never around because that Darren ceased to exist when Blaine went away. The Real Darren is the one you see every single day- he’s a multifaceted guy-just like all of us- who can be prim and proper when he wants to but can be bawdy and crude and sexual. They are all Darren Criss). 

This isn’t about being a “gay fetishist” or “hating woman” this is about wanting for D to be fairly and accurately represented and no longer forced to participate in this stupid, life sucking game to promote a person that contributes absolutely nothing to the world.  (No, you're right, this isn’t about being a gay fetishist or misogynist- you are those as well- but this right here is about you not liking the person Darren Criss is in real life and demanding he adopt the persona of a character you fell in love with on Glee.    Darren was never Blaine. Yes, he can act like Blaine in an occasional Tweet or during an interview- usually on the red carpet when he doesn’t know the interviewer. But that doesn’t mean he is that person.  Think about it, you have never once seen the Darren you believe he is outside of Glee events, interviews, your favorite 3 Tweets (the Met Gala coat, the granddaughter of his Midway character and Bradley Cooper)  and the conversations you imagine he has with his family and Chris. It isn't reasonable to believe that the Darren you see every single day isn’t the real Darren. People are who they are, they aren’t who we want them to be- that goes for your favorite celebs, your parents, your best friends, your lovers, your coworkers and even your children (which is a very hard lesson for some parents). You’re suggesting that he is acting like someone else because you don’t like what you see. That isn’t  healthy, period. As for promoting a person who contributes nothing to this world- judging someone based entirely on other people’s social media mentions of her is frankly fucked up. It’s another logical fallacy to believe you know what Mia does for the world. She owns an entertainment venue and Darren is an entertainer. Just because Darren has more fame than she does, doesn’t make him more valuable. It’s really pathetic and sad that you see the world that way.)  If you want to have a strong female role model, there are so many, i’ve talked about a few in the past few days (thus far Nancy, Lea, and Phoebe)  and will continue to do so, but please stop worshiping a person whose sole reason you are speaking about her is her connection to D, even if you refuse to accept it is fake.  (Abby, Darren loves Mia. He married her, IDK what it takes for you to understand that you have no say in his life and bitching and moaning and demonizing Mia says nothing about Mia, but it does say everything about you. You're petty, cruel, a bully, and you are losing sight of reality- please get some help. As for role models- I had to ask because I couldn't’ imagine that Lea was Lea Michele-it’s funny how your opinion of her changed after you saw more of the real Lea on LM/DC tour. Maybe you should learn from that.  Nancy Pelosi-I mean yes but are you suggesting Darren marry Nancy? And Phoebe? Phoebe who? I don’t understand this argument at all. First of all it false presumes that everyone looks to Mia as a role model. None of us know her. The only people obsessing about others looking to Mia as a role model are you and the tinhats. I’m 50 years old, the only younger people I look to as role models are people who are doing something to change the world we are living in -fighting corruption, hate, and climate change. I don’t look to Lea, Darren or Mia as role models .  I enjoy them as entertainers and I think Mia is kick ass but it ends there.   We can all look to Nancy as a role model, but what the hell doe she have to do with Darren and Mia? My celebrity crush on Darren has nothing to do with looking for strong female role models nor does it have anything to do with who he is married to). 

[nuclearblastuk]

GOTTHARD | RELEASE DIGITAL SINGLE AND MUSIC VIDEO FOR 'WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE (ACOUSTIC VERSION)'

GOTTHARD | RELEASE DIGITAL SINGLE AND MUSIC VIDEO FOR 'WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE (ACOUSTIC VERSION)'       Today, GOTTHARD release their new live single 'Feel What I Feel', which can be ordered here:       Gotthard – 'Feel What I Feel’ (Live, Acoustic 2018) (Single)      http://nblast.de/GotthardFeelWhatIFeel      Listen in NB playlists:       http://nblast.de/SpotifyNovelties      http://nblast.de/AppleMusicNovelties      http://nblast.de/SpotifyUKNukeBox      Check out the song on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LBpcMnrmS5Q        'Defrosted' released in 1997 - was GOTTHARD ‘s very first live album. The extremely popular acoustic version was only the fourth album release from the Lugano based hard rockers and within three months it reached double-platinum status in Switzerland. To this day, it‘s still seen as a cult milestone within the band's career that helped establish their reputation as the most successful band from Switzerland. For more than 25 years, GOTTHARD have thrived in the global spotlight thanks to their outstanding songwriting and spectacular live shows; with a career that includes 16 No.1-albums, over three million records sold, multiple awards and over 2000 shows all over the planet.       Now, 21 years after the first edition, the circle is completed as GOTTHARD return to SONY Switzerland and Nuclear Blast with 'Defrosted 2', an ultimate unplugged-compilation of GOTTHARD‘s greatest hits,    recorded on the "Defrosted Tour" in March. Even though the concept is the same as it was over 20 years ago – to capture the unique chemistry between the band and the fans – the circumstances that the band find themselves in are different. Both the band and their audience have grown, and yet after      25 years, it‘s the same unparalleled intimacy that GOTTHARD bring to their live performances that makes this record what it is. After celebrating their silver anniversary with their latest studio album that achieved chart records and saw the band play shows at a number of      prestigious festivals, 'Defrosted 2' combines the pride of their lengthy career by showcasing 22 of the band's most iconic tracks, as well as a sense of     ambition as the band look to the future with 2 brand new songs all in the      same release. It provides a perfect cross-section of the band's formidable career that can be appreciated by all.       As soon as Leo, Freddy, Hena, and Marc begin to play the first notes of the purest acoustic sound while vocalist Nic casually greets the audience in three different languages, even those who are new to GOTTHARD will soon feel at home. If you‘re not sold by this point then the first chorus of the album‘s first track, the sensual and groovy 'Miss Me' will serve as a stark reminder that the only important thing is the joy of live music. Andy Pupato is as faultless behind the kit as he was on the first 'Defrosted', Ernesto Ghezzi once again proves his talent as a live keyboard player and The G-Strings (the string quartet centered around Barbara Kubli) who perform live with the band from time to time, provide a perfect dose of elegance. Newly appointed backing vocalists Maram El Dsoki and Barbara Comi ‘s velvety soft vocals and radiant power give the band wings and imbue 'Defrosted 2' with an exciting new charm.        Whether it‘s 1992‘s 'Hush', the gilded 'Heaven' from 2000, the comeback single 'Remember It‘s Me' after the tragic loss of original vocalist Steve Lee, the hard rocking 'Bang!' from the eponymous 2014 album, the tender 'Beautiful' or the recent 'Stay With Me', 'Defrosted 2' is a well-paced journey through the years, including breathtaking solos, wild honky tonk interludes ('Sweet Little Rock‘N‘Roller') and sincere declarations of love. And if you think you've heard everything after the wild trip through 25years of classics, there are two new tracks on top. First, there's the mighty ballad 'What I Wouldn‘t Give', which tears everything down in a powerful wave of emotion, and the party-hit 'Bye Bye Caroline', which is also the first single from 'Defrosted 2'. Lyrically inspired by STATUS QUO‘s 1973 hit "Caroline", the live opener of the UK rockers for 25 years, the track was created with Francis Rossi himself, who was also involved in contributing guitar and duet vocals. The song  was spontaneously written backstage on the last 'Rock Meets Classic' Tour when Francis, Leo and Nic sealed their new friendship directly by writing a new song together.            ICYMI:      Watch the videos for more recently released GOTTHARD songs here:      - 'Bye Bye  Caroline' (feat. Francis Rossi): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-o_uatH2Ag      Purchase the song here: http://nblast.de/GotthardWIWG      - 'What I Wouldn't Give (Acoustic Version)': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwx8B6ZzOeE      Get the song here: http://nblast.de/GotthardWIWG       'Defrosted 2'  was produced by Leo Leoni in collaboration with Nicolo Fragile and as usual, Charlie Bauerfeind was responsible for the mix. The double album, which will be released in the high-quality Ecolbook format and as a 4-fold vinyl version worldwide on December 7, 2018, was further refined in the Wisseloord Studio Hilversum, where legends like the ROLLING STONES, U2, and the SCORPIONS have already worked and recorded. A lovingly selected array of sophisticated acoustic arrangements and with two and a half decades of Hits, GOTTHARD celebrate exuberantly great moments, quiet memories and unsurpassed riffs on 'Defrosted 2'–  and make both old and new fans a cheerful unplugged gift that has really earned the best place on the shelf.            'Defrosted 2' will be released as:      -2CD Digibook      - 4LP Box            Pre-order 'Defrosted 2' here: http://nblast.de/GotthardDefrosted2            The Tracklist reads as follows:      CD1      01. Miss Me      02. Out On My Own      03. Bang      04. Sweet Little Rock ’N‘ Roller      05. Beautiful      06. Feel What I Feel      07. Hush      08. Remember It‘s Me      09. Stay With Me      10. Tequila Symphony No. 5      11. Mountain Mama             CD2      01. Why      02. C‘est La Vie      03. One Life One Soul      04. Tell Me      05. Starlight      06. Sister Moon      07. Right On      08. Lift U Up      09. Heaven      10. Anytime, Anywhere      11. Smoke On The Water      12. Bye Bye Caroline (Acoustic Version)      13. What I Wouldn‘t Give (Acoustic Version)            GOTTHARD live:      06.04.   S          Stockholm - Rock City Stockholm *NEW*      13.07.   CH       Sion - Sion Sous Les Étoiles      

www.gotthard.com | www.facebook.com/Gotthard | www.twitter.com/Gotthard

[snwusberry]

pairing: yunho x black!reader

warning(s): none (i think...)

genre: fluff

premise: yunho and reader celebrate their 6 year anniversary

reader pov:

6 years. 6 years of tears, pain, love, happiness, you name it. i wouldn't trade it for the world.

"we're almost there." something he's been saying for the past 10 minutes.

"yunho, i dressed up all cute and now you taking me on a road trip." he simply just laughs lightly.

"i mean it this time."

it's mine and yunho's 6 year anniversary and he refuses to tell me where he's taking us. we spent the whole day just being together, enjoying each other's company until he dragged me to the room so i could wash up and get ready. he never said what for so im excited but he's been driving now for a good 20 minutes so i've gotten impatient.

"play with this remote or something." he hands me an old remote that was for lord knows what.

"what am i? 5?" he can hear the unamused tone in my voice. good.

"okay well we're here." he pulls up at a very dark place. i don't know if this is where he kills me or something but i'm scared. "you trust me right?"

"yeah."

"great, so come with me then."

he gets out of the car and walks over to my side, opening the door for me.

"well aren't you a gentleman."

"i try."

we walk hand in hand for about a minute before reaching the cutest place i've ever seen. it's lit up with the colour chaging fairy lights in pinks and purples making the place look magical.

"yunho." i call him and be smiles at me making me smile back because his smile is just so contagious.  "you did this?"

"yeah, i had help but i planned all of this for you. for us."

theres a table setup for two under a mosquito net because it's been quite humid these days. i absolutely love every little detail of this whole setup.

"come on." he leads us to the table and mingi and san walk out decked out in tuxedoes. they place a wine bottle and two glasses down and we thank them before they disappear.

yunho opens the wine, pouring a glass for both of us.

"i love you so much, you don't understand." he confesses as if it's his first time telling me all this.

"i love you too."

"happy anniversary baby." we clink our glasses before taking a sip.

very softly, in the background, i hear one of my all time favorite songs.

"can i have this dance?" i ask him, offering my hand out to him.

"i thought you'd never ask." he takes my hand and we walk out.

he wraps his arms around my waist while i wrap mine around his neck and we sway from side to side to the song.

"i would need a million words if i tried to define all the things you mean to me."

looking up at him amd seeing the huge smile on his face knowing im the cause of it brings so much joy to my heart.

we've laughed together, cried together, fought each other, all of it. all of those things together. i wouldn't trade it for anything. he brings me so much joy, it's hard to even try to explain.

" 'cause love is born when hearts collide."

"do you remember how we met? the most embarrassing part of my life to be honest." i whisper and he lets out a breathy laugh.

"how could i forget that? you straight up speared the shelf when you noticed i saw you staring at me like a creep. i just had to get to know you after that." i burry my face in his chest at the embarrassing memory. february 22nd 2016. we were both 17.

i think that's why i love the song so much. even though none of the lyrics say anything about meeting at 17, it still applies to our relationship so much because of how our relationship even started.

"well be dancing the same groove when we're 92 the same as 17."

"its hard to even fathom how far we've come." he comments, his chest vibrating with every word he says.

"6 years."

"and many others." he leans in and attaches his lips with mine and i kiss him back. its short but there was still so much emotion put in from both of us.

"i wanna love you till i'm old." i tell him and he smiles even wider.

"awww are you proposing?" he teases

"maybe, maybe not."

"i love you so so much, its insane." his words still give me butterflies even all these years later.

"i love you too yunho."

[pinkvilla]

EXCLUSIVE: Angad Bedi: Had it not been for Neha Dhupia, I wouldn't have settled down

In an EXCLUSIVE interview with Pinkvilla, we spoke to Angad Bedi about his first wedding anniversary with Neha Dhupia and how their life has changed since the last year after getting married and having their daughter Mehr. Read the interview below

Someone has rightly said that the secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. When it comes to Neha Dhupia and Angad Bedi, we can say that they are truly made for each other. Neha and Angad got married in an Anand Karaj ceremony in New Delhi on May 10, 2018. On November 18, 2018, the couple was blessed with a baby girl and they named her Mehr.

Today, Neha Dhupia and Angad Bedi celebrate their first wedding ceremony. To celebrate this milestone in their life, Neha and Angad are currently holidaying in Mauritius. Pinkvilla spoke to Angad Bedi about how the whole year with Neha has been, their anniversary plans and changes in their life which took place after their daughter Mehr was born. Read the whole interview below:

How will you describe this one year with Neha?

This one year has been very blissful. I've had a lot of people say many things about getting married and settling down. But for us, we continue from the same place where we started. We still are friends, and yes, we are lovers and we also have a beautiful family. I want to just put it in a simple way that had it not been for Neha, I wouldn't have settled down. I am very fulfilled and complete with a partner like Neha. I think it is due to god's grace that we are together now, including Mehr. I guess, sometimes when you do good deeds, you gain a lot in return. That's how I would like to sum up my whole year with Neha and also Mehr.

What are your plans for the anniversary? How are you planning to make it special for Neha?

We are already in Mauritius and we are going to be here for a whole week. We are staying in a lovely property at the beach combo hotel. We are really enjoying this time off because Neha was also away and so was I due to work. And finally, we managed to pull this one week together before we get busy again with our work commitments. And this is also the first time Mehr has come out of the country. Neha keeps saying that her first trip abroad was Mauritius and so, the first trip for our daughter Mehr is the same. I think it's great to be here for both of them.

You and Neha have been friends before getting married. What changes have you seen in that friendship after you became husband and wife?

I still feel she is my girlfriend. I think we are a couple definitely with responsibility. But we tend to see and enjoy the lighter side of life more. Our friendship was always based on a lot of honesty. We used to be the mirrors for each other and that has helped us grow in our marriage also and it remains the same. Like all couples, we agree and disagree. There was a time when obviously, you take time to make up with them, but the lovely quality that my wife has that if she gets slightly upset she doesn't let that affect other things. That's what makes for a beautiful marriage. Otherwise, it's very honest and that's how you go about it because you are two different individuals, and you try to balance each other very well.

Every time you and Neha gave interviews, one can sense the respect and love you two have for each other. How do you keep this intact?

I don't know it's just that we are true and honest with each other. We both like to have a laugh and a good time. I really like her sense of humour and she likes me. We complement each other well and I guess, we are lucky enough to do that. We just enjoy each other's company. We both like to travel. We love sports. We both like going out. We both love the water. I think we have many things in common.

Every marriage has some ups and downs. Considering you and Neha are public figures, you two had to deal with several rumours. During this time, how did you and Neha manage to stay calm and not let all the negativity affect your relationship?

Rumours will always be there. So, good or bad you have to take them in your stride because you are a public figure. That's a fun thing that comes with the profession. I feel, if you are doing nothing wrong and if your conscience is clear, there is nothing to get affected by any rumour. So, yeah, we've got one life to live and you have to live it to the fullest.

Neha and you were blessed with a baby girl last year. How happy and complete does Mehr make you feel?

Mehr is an extension of the two of us and she has brought a lot of happiness and joy not just to Neha and me but also our parents. Our parents have become grandparents and they always wanted their children to settle down and start a nice family life. I think Mehr has done exactly that. Mehr has got not just us a lot of blessings but to our parents and both our families as well. She has definitely got me a lot of luck and as we say, 'Jab shaadi hoti toh patni ka bhaagya khulte hai aur mere saath toh do gunaa guna ho gaya hai'. My wife and I, we are both blessed to have our daughter.

Considering you both are celebs and have a busy work-life, how did you guys manage to give each other time and also spend enough time with Mehr?

Nobody is so busy in life where you can make no time for your child. The only thing is we do prioritise each other and Mehr. Our friends and social circle might have slightly taken a backseat, but even our friends understand that right now. Its about time management and its about how we can be available for Mehr and for each other. We try and take her out for walks. We want her to have a very normal childhood. She is a very friendly and a loving girl. 

ALSO READ: Neha Dhupia shares an unseen wedding video with Angad Bedi on their first anniversary; View post

[nithyanelson-blog]

I have got a story to tell!!!!

I have got a story to tell!!

I went for a trek recently and as usual uploaded the photos stories in WhatsApp and Insta. One of my best friends insisted me that I should write about the experience in detail since I went with zero company. I'm not so good with words or metaphors but here I'm trying to detail what I've experienced.

Usually, I have the habit of exaggerating everything. But when I decided to write about my trip, I wanted it to be damn honest and the way I experienced it and not for the usual Insta update.

For a long time, I was thinking of going on a solo trip and experience what actually it is. So when my colleague Keerthi who is an avid trekker told me about his experience, I got a spark that I should try this one. It took me around 5 months to convince myself that I will be able to make it and it took another 2 months to convince my paranoid mother why I wanted to do it.

After getting the blessings from Mommy Dearest, the date for the auspicious trek was finalised as Feb 3rd 2019. The plan was to reach Delhi by flight and train to Dehradun from Delhi. So I started to Delhi on 2nd Feb morning. Morning dawned as usual and I got ready as usual and boarded local train to airport as usual except the fact I'm carrying 60 litre bag. It was quite heavy and I still wonder why the hell I packed so much for a trek(First timer- you never know what you'll need :P) I left Singara Chennai with much love from two of my best friends Ani and Vaishu. To be honest, I didn't feel a thing till I landed in Delhi. The moment I got into the Delhi metro station alone, the feeling of doing something for the first time started to kick in. Now many of you think what's fuss about this going alone as if I'm going to Moon or other planet(I feel you guys!) but I'll tell you why. This is not something that happens in our household often. Even I go to Bangalore or any other place for office trips or any other trip for that matter, my mother make sure that I call her before, after and during the journey and book the safest mode of transport suggested by the company itself or being accompanied by a friend or colleague. I won't say that I have never travelled alone then it would be a big load of bull shit but this kind of trip and trek with bunch of strangers in no network area is not a usual one for us.

So I met two of my trekmates in the Delhi railway station and we started our journey together to Dehradun. Around 6:30 in the morning, I reached Dehradun and met the other trekmates who were waiting outside railway station. Then the introductions happened and a guy who looked not more than 20 came and introduced himself as my trek leader and he is Himanshu. Haha I was shocked. I had to check twice whether he was the trek leader for real. Then our journey to the village of Sankri began. Sankri is the base camp for our trek. It is around 180 kms from Dehradun. 10 of us got into tempo Traveller and started our journey to the base camp. On the way we had our dinner and lunch.

I still wonder why did I order Dosa in the pahadi restaurant. It was so worse all I wanted to do was to take a flight back to Chennai and have a Saravana Bhavan Dosa. And yeah I don't blame anybody. On the way I saw the glimpses of snow and Yamunotri ranges. Man I was damn excited for this trip!

At around 5, we reached our base camp and got settled in the rooms provided. I explored the village for some time and went to the temple and prayed without knowing who's the God🤦 Back in the camp, all the prerequisites for the trek(medical history, documents) were checked by our trek leader and he started the briefing for trek. We gave a brief introduction about ourselves and it reminded me of my college first day. Then I was so nervous but now it was so fun. I was smiling for no reason. 20 of trekmates came from different cities of India. One big gang from Bangalore, one couple from Mumbai to celebrate anniversary, one couple to celebrate honeymoon, one engaged couple, a father daughter duo from Kolkata, guys from Rajasthan, Mumbai. It was a mix of everything. Once the briefing was done, I went out to have my dinner and felt the first cruel chill of the trek. To be honest, I have never been in a place where the temperature is below 18° C. That too because this year we had actual winter in Chennai. So when you put me in the 4° C, obviously I would shiver and freeze. I was about to cry when I couldn't feel my hands. Himanshu smiled and said 'Hota hai hota hai'. Adeii!! All I wanted to do was to smack his face at the very moment. Then I grabbed the hot tea vessel and had some food for the growling stomach and retired to bed soon. I couldn't help imagining how I'm going to survive for the next 4 days. Truth to be told, I was excited for the trek and panicked for the cold. Somehow I was drawn into a dreamless sleep.

The next day I got up to the commanding voice of Himanshu. This time he wanted to check blood pressure at 6:30 in the morning. Phewww!! There gone my sleep with him. We got ready and had our breakfast and all set to go for the trek. On the first day we had to cross 2.5 kms. But believe me when I tell you it's not just 2.5 kms. When you ascend the mountain, you would feel it requires double or triple the energy to cross than the one guides have mentioned.

After getting the do's and dont's from Himanshu, we started our trek following the trail. We would have walked hardly for 500 m , then it was just snow. I came to know that this year the snowfall was very heavy and usually on this trek we get to see snow only on 3rd day but this time we got it 1st day itself. I was quite happy and excited and got into my usual jumpy mode to see the snow.

I had to pinch myself to make sure that I was not dreaming. I was walking on the 3 feet snow and all I could see was just snow. I played and played and played throughout the trail and fatigue started showing it's face before I could reach the 1st campsite. With much struggle and constant Chalo chalo echoes from the guides Sunil Bhai and Upi Bhai, I reached the camp.

It was such a mesmerizing sight! One side its a valley of snow and other side stood the glorious pine trees bathed in snow yet giving the majestic looks. We have got two local dogs to play with and it accompanied us to other camp sites as well. We played mafia, cards, some funny games for introductions and had a blast on the first day. It felt so very good to get rid of my inhibitions and be able to mingle with a group about whom I knew nothing of. Once the dinner done, some of us decided to go for star gazing and the argument, discussion about various topics during star gazing we had, are something that's gonna stay with me forever.

Second day dawned little cloudy and sun was not ready to come out and meet us. Today we had to cross 4-5 kms. There were three steep ascends in the trail and I was dreaded and excited as usual. But it was much better than I expected and was one of the firsts to reach base camp. On the way we had so much fun and as for me, 2nd day was the best. I sang the loudest on the way and threw snow at everyone I saw and we played with the fresh snow on the whole trail.

I stopped at so many places and wondered whether I'm in heaven. The moment I saw the frozen lake Juda ka thalaab, I fell in love almost immediately. How can everything be so pristine white like there is no hint of cruelty or bad vibes in it! Words fail me to describe the magnificence of the nature. No adjectives are enough to express the beauty of it. All I could do was to be in the moment and enjoyed it till lasts.

The same joyous mood stayed for the complete day. Even in the campsite, we played games but this time, on the snow. I was so carefree, and didn't have any worry about anything in the world. I made snowman(with huge help from Rahul), engaged in snow fight, played so many games. It was just merry making time for us.

After the two days of trek, I was confident that I could manage to reach the summit. So it was never a question of whether I could do or not.

Himanshu told that we would be starting at 5 in the morning for the summit. Around 11 pm, I woke up to the butterflies in my stomach. I thought it was the excitement and nervousness of climbing the peak. But later I found it was the butterflies of sickness. I threw up twice and Himanshu was called and he gave medicines and clearly told me that he wouldn't allow me for summit if my condition remains the same. So I prayed all the gods to keep me fit and healthy just for a day.

Around 3:30 am, we got the woke up call and we were welcomed with snowfall and bone breaking cold. I hoped that weather and my health get better before trek get started. An hour passed with the refreshments and nokjhoks. Weather got much better than me. I was feeling breathlessness for walking from my tent to dining area. Himanshu told me that I'm not going anywhere and asked me to take rest. After much pleading and him not wanting a debate in the morning, I started the trek. I took my father's muffler with me and keep on talking with it as if with my father. I keep on telling 'Appa epdiyadhu poidanum'. I pretty much managed half way then suddenly I started feeling nausea and was about to faint. I had to walk to a hut which was 100m away where I could take rest and start again but I couldn't even reach there. At that moment I realised I'm not gonna make it to summit and I failed. I informed my guides and Himanshu that I'm not coming and they can go ahead. I sat in the hut for 20 minutes feeling dejected and listening to a guide and other fellows who decided not to go to summit for various reasons. I listened and listened and suddenly I couldn't any more. I came out controlling my tears and looked at the majestic Kedarkantha peak for one last time and started to run to the base camp. Alone. Defeated. I blamed myself, my father, my health, Himanshu, anything and everything that came on my mind. And then I stopped and took a look around me. It was just snow and mountains looking at me. I sat there on the snow and started thinking why I failed. Then I realized I triumphed the moment I took the TT to Sankri with 10 odd strangers. It was never about the climbing the summit at 13000 ft. It was about me coming out of my comfort zone which I have drawn for myself. I still remember when I was roaming on the streets of Delhi, I gave a thought of going back to Chennai without even showing up in Dehradun. But I came to Sankri and for 3 days I was among the strangers doing things which I have never done in my life and lived my life like never before and survived -20° C. This is the success for me and this is what I wanted. If I climbed the summit, that would definitely been a cherry on the top but I can't sulk over it and not seeing the happiness and fulfillment I got every other minute over the past 3 days. I have never seen snow in my life but here I'm walking on the snow and couldn't see anything other than snow and beautiful ranges. Why would I worry for something which I can't control?? With determined mind, I started walking to the base camp. This time contented and happy. I danced, I sang, I laughed, I played, I talked with the mountains and I slid down the snow. Simply I lived in the moment and enjoyed the time. With the whole hearted happiness, I reached the base camp, gulped the medicines and waited for others to join. I heard the stories of people who climbed the summit and to my surprise I didn't regret the decision of coming down. We stayed in the pahad for two more days and enjoyed the bliss and started our way back to Dehradun bidding good byes to our guides, Himanshu and the black dog who accompanied me throughout the trek! Being emotional type that I'm, I shed two or three tears when Himanshu hugged and asked me to come back to finish the summit.

When coming back, all the memories of the last 5 days rushed in my mind and probably the precious memories of my life. I'm sure I will go back to see the mountains again. May be they wanted me to come again and that could be the reason for my sickness 😝 (When you're are so optimistic, you can say anything)

This 5 day trek was not just another vacation for me. It was the best time and there is a feeling of content and self realisation! I realised it's ok to give yourself a break and live the life a little at times!!

While we were on the trek, everyone had a story to tell. When they looked at me, I told them with much embarrassment that I don't have any story. Rahul cheered me up and said 'Now you have got a story'.

And yeah now I have got a story to tell everyone💛